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thebroccolination · 4 months ago

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KRIST, FAME, AND WHY "YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS" DOESN'T EXONERATE THE BEHAVIOR OF THE PUBLIC

Lindsay Ellis uploaded this video to YouTube framed around the myth that Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles. It's phenomenal, as her work often is. I'll probably watch the whole thing multiple times in the near future.

Toward the end of the video, Lindsay expands on the morbid paradox of fame. Many of us see it as this aspirational thing that famous people should be grateful to have, and yet we're also aware that the circumstances of being famous often lead to tragic ends for celebrities, either by violence or by their own self-destruction.

Over the past week, I made this thread to explain the events that led to Krist putting his foot down after months of trying to placate the segment of KristSingto fans who are vocally opposed to Krist sharing any part of his continued close friendship with Gawin, Krist's costar from his 2023 BL series "Be My Favorite."

The day he started his break from social media, Krist addressed his fans about what he'd been dealing with very clearly and characteristically sincerely. He expressed his confusion, explained the impossible situation this unreasonable portion of his fanbase had put him in, and ultimately just gave the vibe of a very tired teacher. Coupled with the reality that Krist's fanbase is on average much older than he is, it's a little absurd that a twenty-eight-year-old had to tell a fair number of middle-aged, tax-paying adults that he's allowed to have friends.

Krist concluded his TikTok Live only to be tagged in even more abuse and complaints on Twitter. I saw some of it and didn't bother saving receipts, but you can imagine it. You're hurting your comeback with Singto by posting Gawin's photos, Krist. This comeback isn't going well, Krist, and it's your fault. You're supposed to be loyal to Singto, Krist. You abandoned Singto at the outing, Krist. If you hate it here so much then just go back to Gawin, then. Don't you feel guilty for ruining Gawin's career, too? He must be good in bed for you to come to his defense like this.

Oh, wait, I did save that one.

Presumably sensing that he had done everything he possibly could, Krist addressed fans one last time on his Instagram Broadcast channel.

Let no one misinterpret this: Krist left social media mainly and specifically because some Peraya were viscerally outraged that Krist didn't cast Gawin aside and spend 100% of his time adhered to Singto. Even though Krist is the one who wanted the comeback, a significant number of Peraya seem to think he's not trying hard enough.

"Not trying hard enough" even though he was so obsessed with getting Peraya Party right that he made himself sick.

This tweet was when he admitted himself for an IV to keep himself healthy, and then he ended up getting admitted anyway for almost a week. During which time he continued working on the concert from his iPad, messaging staff and Singto who continued with rehearsals.

"Not trying hard enough" isn't something Krist knows how to do. He's a self-professed perfectionist who identified so strongly with the character of Anxiety in "Inside Out 2" that he posted about her on his Facebook seven different times. He has an Anxiety plush. He even tweeted about the anxiety attack scene when he visited Beijing for work.

Krist has spoken about his experiences with depression. He moved back home in 2022 to be with his parents at the suggestion of his psychiatrist, the fourth he'd seen.

It's widely known that Krist hates being alone. Singto recently said it's something that concerns him, that Krist has someone or other at his house most of the time because he doesn't want to be on his own. Just last year Krist said his favorite thing about his four cats is that they're with him always, whereas people eventually have to go their own homes.

Rather than close himself off, however, Krist has remained a phenomenally open and affectionate person. He treats his fans like friends. (The ones who aren't trying to control his life.) He took the time to address fans twice in text and in video.

And yet, as soon as Krist stepped away from the helm of his own narrative, some fans were horrified by the idea that Krist might be mad at them. Others began to twist his words and intentions to suit a more palatable narrative. This wasn't about Gawin, no. He did it for Singto.

And while, yes, Krist did also make it clear that he won't tolerate people trash-talking one of his favorite people, this was about Krist.

It wasn't only about Singto or Gawin. This was Krist facing down fans who have relentlessly demanded more than he could have or even should have ever reasonably done for them.

It's a special kind of horrifying to me that fans are misrepresenting Krist when Krist clearly said as recently as last October that what hurts him most is being misrepresented.

I spoke with some Peraya in DMs about this whole mess.

A few said they have no issue with Gawin, they're only envious of the closeness he has with Krist. They're both musicians and singers, and they're both people-shaped emotions who went through hell together during all the "lol who asked for this pairing" and "ew I'm not watching the homophobe show" nonsense.

Others said Krist is behaving childishly and that he should just ignore everyone.

After all, all of this comes with the territory of being famous. It's normal. He shouldn't overreact. He's taken the wife role. He should be cute and soft and sweet at all times.

When I posted my thread about this, some were underwhelmed by the informational tone and had hoped it would be more of a call-out. Thing is, I'd already criticized that portion of the Peraya fandom:

It's frankly beyond my comprehension how Krist has made it this far as stable and as kind as he is. He was bashed by homophobes for starring in SOTUS in 2016, then stalked at his university by fans who disapproved of him having a girlfriend since he belonged to Singto, harassed about his sexuality until he snapped, vilified by international fans who showed up late to the party in 2020 and made everything a thousand times worse by not bothering to fact-check anything they were seeing, tormented off social media, put through four different psychiatrists, lost the partner he'd been through all of this with, found a new one, lost him, and gained his original partner back only for fans to demand more from him.

And the thing is, I don't want to say all of this on Twitter because it's becoming more and more of a noxious hellscape with every passing day, and the people who need to embrace this aren't going to read it. But I did want to say it somewhere.

Watching Lindsay's video, I felt such a bolt of fear. He's just been pushed so far, and fame isn't what destroys: it's people.

So I'm so proud of him for handling this with composure and strength. I'm proud of him for keeping the promise he made to Gawin in October last year at his solo concert, that nothing would change between them.

One of my Gawin fan friends said it best: Krist was the first person to see Gawin's potential and then show the world. He featured Gawin in his own solo concert, he mentored him through promotion, he opened up to Gawin about his life and his thoughts. He would never cast Gawin aside, and the fact that people are still trying to hand-wave how important Gawin is to him is maddening.

He loves Singto. He also loves Gawin. One doesn't cheapen the other. He loves a lot of people. That's who Krist is.

The idea that Krist should be cute and demure and ignore constant harassment he can't avoid because he needs to use social media for work is so unimaginably cruel I can't fathom how it could even transform from an idea to a real belief. Whether you like it or not, he's standing up for himself now.

Being famous eases some things and barbs others. You'll get free stuff and fans who admire you, but you may also get a deterioration of your mental health and fans who feel entitled to your body, soul, and mind.

You tell 'em, sweetie.

#krist perawat #gawin caskey #singto prachaya #kristsingto #gawinkrist #okay time to sleep for a hundred million years

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bad268 · 4 months ago

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can you do an arvid lindblad x reader story where reader gets alot of hate for being a female driver and arvid comforts her?

love you stories btw

+Pls could u do an Arvid Linblad and reader where reader is in the paddock and its super busy and they get overwhelmed and he calms her down

+could u do smth with arvid or paul where they just announced that you guys are dating and the media is being really mean but they comfort you?

Deserve the World (Arvid Lindblad X Fem VCARB! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/F2/F3

Requested: Clearly (I LOVE THIS <3)

Warnings: Aged up Arvid, sexist comments, hateful fans

POV: Second Person (You/your/She/her)

W.C. 1227

Summary: The fans and reporters are brutal when a female joins the grid.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

Red Bull was known to be ruthless, and they rarely moved up their junior drivers. That did not stop you from joining their junior program. You loved the team, the benefits, and the knowledge you could learn from them.

Well, when the news hit that Red Bull was promoting not one but two junior drivers to VCARB for the 2026 season, shit hit the fan. Then, when people realized that one of those drivers was a girl, shit really came crashing down.

You knew this would happen. It happened when you first joined Hitech in F2, and you expected it when you eventually moved up to F1. Most of the haters dwindled down when you and Arvid pulled a 2021 like season in F2 since it kept everyone interested, but ultimately, they came flooding back when you won by a singular point. You had grown since the start of the season, so you took their criticism with a grain of salt and moved on.

At least you did on the outside.

Sometimes, you couldn’t stop yourself from falling down the rabbit hole that is Twitter (X) and Instagram comments. You would rather know everything they said than work yourself up over what they could be saying. Call it one of your red flags, but you did not want to remain unaware of their backlash.

Arvid had caught you in that rabbit hole on more occasions than he wanted to admit, and yeah, he got his fair share of hate. His was nowhere near the amount you got. He tried convincing you to get someone else to manage your social media accounts, but you always declined. Who else would post the not-so professional pictures you take during the weekend? Certainly not a professional staff who is in charge of making you look professional.

The first race of the season was already off to a shitty start. You were a few minutes late to the media pin, and everyone started speculating that you were sleeping with Red Bull or VCARB staff for your seat. In reality, you were meeting with the staff to discuss how to go about addressing the hate.

You tried to clear it up with the first interviewer, but he was one of the haters. He immediately started poking at how there’s no way a girl like you could get a seat based on pure talent on track. When you asked what he meant by that, he chuckled and said, “Clearly, you have talents behind closed doors.”

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back as you immediately turned and left the pin, trying to get back to your garage before you had a full breakdown. You heard the main reporter and a few nearby interviewers laugh as you made your hasty exit, and that made the situation worse as nearby fans heard the commotion and pulled out their phones. The way the pitlane was set up, you had to walk past all of the fans to get back to your garage. Just the thought made your heart rate quicken if that was even possible.

It did not take long for Arvid to notice your lack of presence next to him or in the media pin at all. Usually, you two stuck together since you were on the same team, but you both also found comfort in being next to each other. Many people thought it would have caused a rift in your relationship competing against each other but given that you were together for almost a year before you started your F2 campaigns, you were up for the challenge. Plus, you were naturally competitive to begin with, so it made your bond stronger.

He looked around for you, confused, before he briefly spotted your back retreating out the back of the pin. He gently excused himself, but even the interviewer could tell Arvid’s attention was elsewhere. It looked like Arvid was on autopilot, and he was as he felt gravity pulling him toward you.

It did not take him long to be right up behind you, and that’s when he realized the “fans” had practically caged you in as they shouted at you. Profanities and derogatory terms were being thrown at you left and right in any language, and Arvid knew he had to get you out of there.

He quickly wrapped an arm over your shoulders as he pulled you into his chest, shielding you from the chaos, and began backing out of the center to find a way out. Thankfully, there was no one blocking behind him, so he was able to just go back the way he came and take the back way around to the VCARB garage.

The garage wasn’t too far, but it felt like an eternity for you. Your heart was racing, and despite knowing it was Arvid taking you to safety, it didn’t help calm you down. You didn’t even register that he had gotten you all the way to his driver’s room until he pushed you to sit on his couch while he kneeled in front of you. He moved one of your hands to rest against his neck as he kept the other in his.

“You’re doing great,” He said quietly as he used his thumb to rub across your knuckles while taking deeper breaths, “Can you breathe with me?”

It took him repeating it a few times, but soon enough, you caught on and began to take struggled breaths in time with him. You finally started to register the noise (or lack thereof) around you. There were no screaming fans or condescending reporters. No camera clicking or shouts of displeasure.

It was silent for once. You were finally able to hear your own thoughts and think clearly for the first time this whole weekend. Your eyes cleared as you made eye contact with your concerned boyfriend who was still grounding you in the way he had learned a long time ago, causing you to smile.

“Thank you, Arvid,” You whispered as he moved the hand still entwined with your hand up to rest against your cheek. “You always know what to do.”

“I’m always here to pick you back up, and I’m always here to tell you that everybody else is stupid,” He said with a chuckle as he started in the routine speech he gives you wherever the hate gets too much. “What have these people done? Nothing but shit on your parade. You are the first female F2 winner. You are the first female in an F1 since the 90s or something. I am confident you will be the first female on an F1 podium and definitely the first female to win an F1 race. Maybe both in one go, but we’ll see when we get there.”

“Stop blowing my nonexistent horn here,” You tried to dismiss as you gently pushed at his shoulder. “You’re giving me more credit than I deserve.”

“Absolutely not!” Arvid interrupted before moving to cup your face between his hands as he squished your cheeks and shook your head. “You deserve the world, and it’s my job to build you up. I won’t stop until you finally believe it.”

“And what if I never do?” You chuckled but it came out a little weird since he was still squishing your face.

“Then I guess I’ll never stop.”

~~~~~

#arvid lindblad x reader #arvid lindblad #arvid x reader #formula 3 x reader #formula 3 imagine #formula 3 #prema team #prema racing #red bull f1 #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 #formula 2 imagine #formula 2 x reader #formula 2 #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

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lemotmo · 18 days ago

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I love everyone trying to remind people to remain calm.

Q. I'm going to throw up. For real.

A. There are currently lots of posts being made trying to remind people to breathe so here's mine. We are on episode 5 of an 18 episode season. And people have a LOT of expectations for the next two episodes. There is nothing wrong with wanting things to move quickly but it's not a practical demand. Based on the tuff that has been released so far, I fully expect tonight's episode to end on positive terms for BT. Probably pretty good terms, actually. It would be true to form for the show and for Buck. We may see the beginnings of the cracks but it would be true to form for Buck to choose to look past those for now. I do think we will get some hints tonight though, especially where Eddie is concerned. But people are going to have to be patient. Eddie is not going to come out, shave his mustache and tell Buck he's in love with him all in one episode. And Buck is not going to dump Tommy and tell Eddie he's in love with him all in one episode. That's not going to happen. They're going to drag it out. Eddie being all over their story is a start and if we get actual hints beginning tonight and in episode 6 then everyone will see where things are headed but it won't be told in one or two episodes. And as long as people can see what they're setting up you shouldn't want them to rush through it. I know the audience has been waiting 7 years but Buck and Eddie haven't. Let them have the build up. Let them be awkward and nervous and sure of their individual feelings but unsure if the other shares those feelings. Let them purposely flirt. Let them have looks and touches that linger just a bit longer than they should. Let them PINE. Let the story will they or won't they. We all know they will. That's the better story. The truth is if all of this is heading where most people think it is, then we are just at the beginning. They will take the time they want. Don't make yourselves sick expecting it all to happen in one episode and then convincing yourselves that if it doesn't all happen immediately then it's not happening at all. And always ignore Max Gao, he is a troll who lives to rile you up. If you're not new to 911 then you should be well aware of his game by now. I understand the noise that will come after tonight's episode. And I understand that everyone is over it. But that won't make the show speed up the story. Enjoy the moments you get and just try to ignore the nonsense.

Thank you nonny!

And as for Ali's post?

YES, YES and YES!

Don't expect everything at once. Let the story play out the way it needs to be played out. These characters deserve a good love story for once. Let's not have them rush into this, but let them pine and long for each other. It'll make for better TV and a better shipping experience.

That's all. 😉

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

#anonymous blog I love #insight into 911 fandom - focus on season 8 #buddie speculation #BT speculation #season 8 speculation #nonnies galore

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bigskydreaming · 5 months ago

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So, been awhile! Apologies for that - took a step back from most social media sites for a few months because the accumulated stresses and everpresent urgency to most things I've been dealing with for the past five plus years finally caught up with me and I kinda just....crashed, and needed some time to get my head on straight. Or whatever the non-obvious-pun version of that might be for a Known Bisexual. Everything was getting to be too constantly 'stop and go' for me, if that makes sense.....like I'd TRY to be more present on here, TRY to work on things like my patreon and fic and meta and stuff like that because I've really wanted to get back to creating actual stuff that people enjoy instead of being like My Issues: The Latest Installment and the like, but then something else would crop up and kill my momentum before it even really got going and I'd have to duck away yet again, and rinse and repeat.

HENCE! I took a more dedicated, extended leave to try and get into a headspace and build a buffer that better lends itself to me getting back to the kinds of posting/writing conditions I've thrived under in the past. It took longer than I thought, but I've never been good at accurately estimating things lol. I've still been on twitter somewhat sporadically, since a huge part of why I hate that site is its format makes it all but impossible to really get to ranting at length...y'know, as I do, my tried and true time-suck method of procrastinating...and with everything going on in the world these days I didn't want to disconnect entirely even though I did need time to work through some shit. BUT I DIGRESS.

Point is, felt like I needed something more substantial than the optimistic-but-lacking-in-actual-energy-and-planning measures I've attempted in the past couple years in order to get on top of things and achieve a measure of consistency and stability again. Less shooting for the moon because I just WANT to be back to my older, happier/more content patterns, more....putting some actual time and thought into how I can realistically make that happen instead of just trying to will it into existence through sheer stubbornness. Because obviously, THAT always works.

ANYWAY. It'll still be a couple days before I get back to regular posting/reblogging patterns or much of any of that at all.....don't be confused if you see some blink and you miss them temporary posts from me over the next day or two. I'm testing out the formatting and layout of a bunch of posts and graphics made for my patreon and original fiction stuff, since the preview post function doesn't always work with read mores in a post and they're all gonna need that lol. If anyone's up for it, I am finalizing the price/reward tiers of my patreon and could use some thoughts on the different levels - I think I have them mostly figured out but wouldn't mind some additional perspectives on how I broke things down and if I'm missing some alternatives. Just message me directly if you'd like to weigh in or lend me your thoughts!

I've never wanted my tumblr to be all about fic or just original content or anything like that, so the patreon's meant to kinda keep all that separate beyond just generalized update announcements on here. The blog will remain just a regular multi-purpose smorgasboard of my reblogs and thoughts on other posts and meta about my various fandoms and all that jazz. The patreon discord will have spaces having to do with my various fanfics, but they'll never be exclusive to it in any way, and every fic update I make will still be on my blog same as always. I've been building masterlists of all my Dick Grayson meta and all my Teen Wolf meta, as well as headcanons and writing snippets/scenes that never got posted elsewhere because I didn't consider them full fics, and I'm starting a series of posts that lean directly into my tendencies to be an Overly Opinionated Asshole who - historically speaking - has never been, uh, shy, shall we say, about Having Thoughts about various fandom patterns or trends.

So....look out for the upcoming "Kalen Vs Fandoms" post series. What? It sounded catchy to me. First up:

"Fandoms' tendency to pick one character per fandom to have every other character introduce as the dumbest person they've ever met, but no its okay, they're actually really fond of them and universally defaulting to a judgmental or patronizing shot at their intelligence every single time they're the topic of conversation among other characters just naturally happens to be part of every single other character's love language - is this perhaps NOT as endearing or affectionate as fandoms tend to treat it as?" Aka "How many people can actually say they'd be comfortable with the idea of every single person in their family or friend group leading with "I genuinely think they're stupid but I love them anyway" each time they talk about them to someone else, and if you don't think that's a normal conversation starter for people to have about a loved one, why do so many fandoms attempt to treat it as such?"

.....the length of post title should not be taken as an indicator of how long each post is. If people want to draw their own conclusions about post length based solely on the fact that they're, well, by me.....I mean. That's totally your prerogative. Nothing I can do about that!

Post topics will run the gamut, if for no other reason than gamut is an amazing word that doesn't get used enough and I wanted to use it. From "Its totally valid to project onto characters and use fic as a way to work through various issues via that projection but how much does this have to do with how defensively people react to the slighest criticism of character choices in their fics as though personally attacked - discuss" to "Criticizing and condemning the writers of source material for specific things - to rave reviews from followers - only to then do the exact same specific things in your own fics - to rave reviews from followers - while claiming that the mere fact of being a fan not getting paid for writing those specific things somehow makes them less worthy of criticism.....are we all seeing the problem here."

There's a slight chance those titles are perhaps....somewhat unnecessarily asshole-coded, but like, in a whimsical way! I think. Whatever. I'm sure it'll be fine!

Will either rhyme OR reason be involved in the order of post topics? No. Not even a little bit. Next question.

Aside from "Kalen vs Fandoms" I've been putting a lot of thought into what other topics or content I can expound upon at length, to the possible interest of people. I'm good at writing and editing and analyzing narratives. Not claiming to be the best, just not trying to fish for compliments or anything. I think my analysis of narrative and character choices has generally been of interest in most fandoms I've been in, but when I'm IN a fandom, I do personally invest in favorite characters and stories that inevitably put me in opposition to takes from fans of other characters and stories within that fandom, and when that happens, the Horseman of Discourse inevitably follows and I....do the discourse. Look, I am who I am. I see the discourse, I engage with the discourse. Unless I don't care about the topic of discourse, in which case I don't, because that discourse doesn't matter. Obviously.

SO! In the interest of posting about narrative analysis and breakdowns of writing choices, character arcs and the like but WITHOUT engaging in The Discourse, I'll be making an easy-to-find post of fandoms or source material whose characters and narratives I'm familiar enough with TO have opinions or analysises of, but for whatever reason, the fandom has never clicked for me and I've never actually felt a desire to be part of it. Thus I'm not likely to be invested or compelled enough to follow up on anyone disagreeing with my personal thoughts or analysis or various character arcs or narratives, because its literally just like, my opinion man, presented for no other purpose than to potentially be of interest to anyone who might be interested in it. No actual follow up needed on my part because I'm not particularly chuffed if people have different takes, they're totally valid, mine don't exist for the purpose of being defended there, they just exist because Opinions, I Had Them, Here Look. Or Don't. Its Totally Whatever.

Because I don't feel as strongly about these pieces of media as I do fandoms I'm personally invested in, it is trickier to come up with a comprehensive list of ones I can weigh in on. So please feel free to hit up my inbox with any fandoms, narrative or character arcs you're curious about my take on, and I'll let you know if they're fandoms I consider myself a participant in, and thus not really right for this series, or if they're something I'm just not knowledgeable about.....but if they're not an actual fandom of mine and I AM familiar enough with them to have an analytical take or response, I'll add them to the masterlist/post as a potential topic.

This series will be called and tagged "Kalen Vs Writing Choices" (That I Personally Don't Like Or Think Could Be Better). The parenthetical part is there solely to be a disclaimer clarifying that my ego is not so great that I think that My Subjective Take on the writing choices made or not made is the only one that matters. I mean, I don't intend to include the disclaimer as part of the actual tag and will mostly leave it as y'know, like, something IMPLIED, but the disclaimer still exists and thus counts. That's totally how that works.

And that's how I've chosen to awkwardly segue into the final intended-of-three post series.....Dramatically Abrupt Tonal Shift Ahoy!

This next part will get long, but I would truly appreciate it if you gave it a read despite its length and even if - especially if - the next topic isn't one you typically look for my take on, or even avoid my take on, because I don't think I'm likely to ever express my thoughts on this matter any more genuinely or directly than this. Like I'm not trying to guilt anyone or anything like that, its more I'm just trying to say if you ever read ANY single post of mine when it comes to the next topic or pick a post to base your decision on whether or not TO wade into something I have to say on this subject, I would appreciate it if you made that this next part here, as I think it best conveys where I'm coming from when it comes to most any post I make along these lines.

So. The thing is....most people who've followed me long know that in the past I've frequently been extremely vocal on topics of rape, incest and abuse, specifically through the lens of being a male survivor. These absolutely are personal for me. This has led to me having a lot of Overly Opinionated Takes on these topics and how they're talked about, depicted and treated within fandom conversations, fics, and social media spheres and conversations at large. I've also pretty obviously not posted on these topics nearly as much in recent years as I once did - but not because I feel any less strongly about them.

And that's one hundred percent because it's frustrating as hell to see a very good portion of the posts I make about any OTHER topic in my usual fandoms go on to accumulate hundreds of notes....while NONE of my posts on these topics ever break out of my direct circle of mutuals. I don't say it to be egotistical - look how many notes I get on stuff - I say it because its literally objectively factual, and the disparity is dramatic, and the disparity is a PROBLEM. Especially given how much the topics of male rape and abuse - in SPECIFIC - tend to be, within most of my past fandoms.

This disparity has a very clear reason for existing too: people have never been shy about citing that they refrain from reblogging or referencing my posts on these topics because they feel like I act like I'm the only opinion that matters on them, the sole authority to be listened to here, that I use my status as a male rape survivor as a cudgel, to shut down opposing takes or points of view.

Which I would totally be fine with or understand if not for the fact that I've always gone out of my way to express that I don't want or expect my opinions on these matters to be taken as anything other than my personal opinions born of my personal experiences, which I cite because they're relevant. I don't think that survivors should have to disclose their status or personal history or details in order to have their opinion heard on these topics, but I deeply resent how often survivors making the choice TO disclose their personal history or relationship with these topics in order to directly unpack how that informs our perspective....is weaponized AGAINST us, in order to shut down and discredit OUR takes even while literally accusing us of only disclosing in order to do the exact same thing to others.

Something that I've posted about a LOT in the hopes of getting it spread throughout fandoms that regularly talk about male rape is for literal decades I've seen people harp on about how men can be raped too, believe male survivors, don't believe the myth that men can't be raped, etc. Which like, I appreciate the sentiment, but the thing I've tried to express for years is that in my personal experience, and those of a lot of other male survivors I've talked to - this is not really the biggest or even ONE of the biggest issues most male survivors face.

And the fact that for all that there are many survivors in fandom who have made the difficult choice to be open about their traumas and recoveries - which I ALWAYS respect, as that is never easy for any of us - a huge part of why I've always made a point to disclose my own history as a male survivor is because there just flat out aren't a lot of perspectives from MALE survivors in specific, being circulated in pretty much any of the fandom spaces I've ever been in over the past twenty years. I don't even slightly think I'm any more of an expert or authority on topics of rape or abuse - beyond how they pertain to my own personal experiences - than any other survivor. But as long as the topic of MALE rape and abuse in specific, how men are affected by these things, how society reacts to us and treats us in the aftermath....as long as these are the topics explicitly being discussed.....I do think my perspective as a male survivor is pretty fucking relevant, and admittedly, I tend to get pretty heated about pushing BACK against attempts to invalidate it or shout it down as though I somehow have LESS of a stake in or right to be heard in these particular conversations. And I get how this has at times come across as attempting to dominate a given conversation.

But like.....I'm also going to point back up to the part where I said earlier....I'm an Overly Opinionated Asshole. I say it somewhat deprecatingly, for the lulz, but also not. I'm very passionate about conversations and topics I feel strongly about and I don't make apologies for it. And for the most part....this has NEVER stopped people from reblogging or liking posts I make about pretty much any other topic....despite me not really coming across that differently in most of them, compared to how I come across in most of my past posts on topics of rape and abuse.

See....I'm in complete agreement with everyone who emphasizes that rape isn't a gendered issue. That it can and does happen to individuals of any gender or identity. But the reason why I've always found the focus on 'remember that men can be raped too' more performative than helpful is because for almost twenty years, I've been posting on these topics in various fandom spaces and trying to express that in my personal experience, something that REALLY deserves to be talked about more is the fact that rape is not gendered. But rape CULTURE very much IS.

Like it or not, we live in a very gendered society still. While yes, men can be raped too.....for a number of reasons - most of them born of sexism and misogyny in specific - the conditions, catalysts and reasons for men being raped are NOT interchangeable with those at work in instances of women being raped, as an example. Because the way society treats men and women in pretty much EVERY situation is different. Similarly, the way society REACTS to men and women disclosing they've been raped is different. And so on and so on.

So 'remember that men can be raped too' has some basis in societal claims that men can't be raped or that rape IS a gendered issue....but not as much as I think most people tend to believe. And twenty years after I first started searching out perspectives of other male survivors in online fandom spaces, beyond just real world physical support groups, I'm STILL hearing 'remember that men can be raped too' dominating all conversations about male survivors just as regularly and repetitiously as it was twenty years ago....as though the world has not changed at all, and the needle on this particular facet of male survivorhood hasn't changed an inch in the past two decades when no, actually, it very much has.

The reason why I feel so strongly about offering up my perspective as a male survivor in a relative absence of seeing other male survivors' perspectives circulated is I honestly believe the reason this is so consistently upheld as the biggest problem facing male survivors is its a carry-over from women attempting to be heard and believed when disclosing....which makes sense and is completely understandable....as long as there's a complete absence of male survivors offering up any perspective that's to the contrary.

But the fact that we live in a gendered society where rape culture, not rape itself, still very much IS gendered due to being a product of....living in a gendered society....means that the differences in how society treats and reacts to men and women affects every aspect of how society treats and reacts to men and women survivors. And that starts with disclosure itself. In my personal experience - and fully acknowledging that I don't speak for any other male survivor in this moment, and I absolutely do believe there are those who have experiences to the contrary, and that matters too - MY experience, which also matters, is that not once in the twenty years since I've started disclosing about my own rape, or the csa I experienced as a child - have I actually had an issue being believed.

With full acknowledgment of how unfair it is, how gross, the reality of living in a sexist, patriarchal society where male privilege very much exists, is that while men can be raped too, this traumatic thing that happened to us does not in any way actually invalidate or negate our male privilege. It doesn't turn it off for the duration of our experience or any time its relevant to our experiences going forward. We carry that privilege with us through our recoveries and the rest of our lives just as much as we did before it, because its an inalienable result of being in a society that allocates privilege solely on the basis of being born a man who identifies and presents as a cis man (with respect to trans individuals having another axis of experience that very much differentiates all matters pertaining to rape culture, in comparison to cis men, just as much as in the case of cis women, albeit in different ways).

And the gross unfortunate reality of our society is that it ALWAYS prioritizes believing men over women, in all matters......especially cis white men like myself.

So the simple fact is....even the act of disclosure - and the likelihood of being believed when voluntarily choosing to share the information that we've been raped - means that a cis white man like myself does not receive the same reaction as most women receive when attempting to share that same information. Society preconditions a lot of people to be more receptive to taking cis white men at their word, comparative to affording anyone else that basic respect.

Getting people to believe me when I say I was raped has never been the issue for me that other individuals face.

But that doesn't mean that my disclosure doesn't result in issues for me.

Because while being raped never invalidated or negated any of my cis white male privilege, neither did having cis white male privilege negate the possibility of me being raped - OR the fact that society ALSO preconditions people to be really fucking shitty about survivors.

(Hell, ANY kind of living victim....with this also being very relevant to abuse survivors, survivors of physical assault, etc. Much like people can be overflowing with empathy for unborn children who can't offer up any take to the contrary to whatever people want to say "in defense or support of unborn children," only to turn around and cease caring about most of those babies the second they're born, people tend to be just as overflowing with empathy for deceased victims of abuse, rape, assault and the like....who, y'know, also can't offer up any take to the contrary of whatever they say or claim about what they WOULD want, what they DO deserve, etc. Present those same people with a living child or a living victim who can and DOES have an opinion that doesn't match what those people feel it SHOULD be? Watch attitudes shift VERY quickly, as allllll that empathy hurriedly flushes down the drain as though it was never there).

But the point is, my cis white male privilege is always here regardless. But that doesn't mean rape culture isn't shitty enough that it can't find a way to circumvent even that in pursuit of discrediting/invalidating/ignoring survivors, just like that privilege can be circumvented in order to create the situation where a man is raped in the first place.

Its just....the gendered nature of rape culture means HOW those attempts to discredit/invalidate/ignore male survivors manifests.....doesn't look the same as when it leads to just outright disbelieving other survivors when they attempt to disclose.

And that is how I can be listened to and reblogged on most any other topic, no matter HOW I go about presenting myself in those posts or conversations - ironically in no small part BECAUSE of my cis white male privilege - while only getting crickets when I post on these topics, BECAUSE people only choose THOSE posts to make my presentation or level of intensity a dealbreaker, and thus their very reason for ignoring anything I have to say there. Not because they don't believe me, but because the WAY I say it is too aggressive, too biased, too emotional, too intense....its an attack on their autonomy, an attempt to override whatever they previously thought or believed about the subject and just force them to adhere to my take.

Because the thing about living in a sexist, patriarchal society is.....that IS a thing that cis white men often do, and a lot of society is structured to make it easier for us to achieve this in most instances, frankly. This just happens to be a rare exception, because for a lot of reasons that would make this post even longer - and that again, I've often posted about before - upholding and reinforcing rape culture on a society wide level supersedes the usual focus on accommodating INDIVIDUAL cis white men in having their opinions heard and circulated.

I'm trying to be as frank as possible here about the intersection of privilege and experiences of being a male survivor because I don't believe its to anyone's benefit to be disingenuous about it, and I do think that it doesn't actually supplant the fact that male survivors do have just as much right - and NEED - to be heard and listened to about our experiences with rape and perspective there, and have those ACKNOWLEDGED, as anyone else.

Its just....the existence of privilege and how that differentiates most experiences in a gendered society matters, and thus.....it needs to be part of the conversation rather than just treating all responses to rape and survivors as agendered, just because rape itself can and does happen to people of all genders.

There's actually a fair amount to get into when it comes to differences in a lot of mens' disclosures vs womens' in my experience, but just as an extension of what I'm talking about here, one of the specific elements in my experience is that men often don't have a problem being believed about having been raped or abused.....but one of the predominant responses is society is heavily preconditioned to view male rape and abuse survivors as almost inevitably feeling they need to exert a similar power over someone else in order to claim back their own feelings of pride and safety in their masculinity. Effectively.....most every male rape or abuse survivor I've ever talked with at length shares a similar experience of being believed when they disclose about being a survivor....but noting a clear and direct shift in how whomever they disclosed to interacts with them....with EVERY expression of anger or outrage - particularly in the matter of their rape or abuse - being viewed as evidence of us being ticking time bombs who are inevitably primed to explode and take out what happened to us on someone else.

There's being cautious around cis white men, for example, because we're cis white men, which I totally get and am not expressing an opinion on. I'm just saying even with that acknowledged, there is a SHIFT in how people interact with me after I've disclosed to them personally, in how they....scrutinize me, for lack of a better way of putting it, in very noticeable ways and areas. Like its consistent. And think about how its not totally true that media doesn't portray men as being capable of being raped or abused, typically. Think about how often you've seen procedurals where the backstory of the rapist or abuser of the week is specifically THAT they were a rape or abuse survivor themselves, usually in childhood. Its NOT that society doesn't believe or accept that men can be raped too. Its that society is primed to default to viewing the very act of men being raped as an indicator of the shift from them being a man to being a man who is likely to become a predator themselves.

Rape appears all the time in regards to male survivors in media. Its just it usually just appears in the context of men who arent presented AS survivors, but rather as predators or aggressors themselves, and their past victimization treated as a catalyst rather than a trauma. This is not to excuse any such character or depiction of course, its simply to emphasize that the very angle from which male survivorhood is approached in most contexts is different from that of other survivors. Just like the angle from which their survivorhood is approached is different from that of male survivors. And thus the issue most men have with disclosing in my experience is NOT that we're afraid we won't be believed....its that we're afraid once we disclose, we'll be viewed as inherently more dangerous because our victimization primes us to be that much more likely to inflict ourselves on others in some attempt to reclaim our masculinity.

And its categorically NOT about any group of survivors having it better or worse than others, which is why I LOATHE people saying variations of 'you wouldn't say that about this if it happened to a woman' because anyone attempting to pit male survivors against other survivors en masse is NOT doing so for my benefit or with my endorsement. The point is just that each way society and rape culture interacts with a different group of survivors presents different problems and issues that need addressing, and aren't interchangeable.

There is a REASON why the subject of Dick Grayson's anger - usually in the context of things that have happened to him - is so important to me, specifically in terms of ensuring that its treated as something he's allowed to have....rather than an indicator that he's going to messily explode his life in a way that impacts everyone around him negatively.

Now.....if you've never considered that aspect of rape vs rape culture and how it can differently affect and shape the experiences and recovery of cis male survivors versus trans male survivors and nonbinary survivors and survivors who identify as women.....I ask that you consider what else my perspective might be able to add to actually productive, meaningful conversations about rape, rape culture and survivorhood, that you never would have thought TO think about before, without male survivors bringing it up based on it having played a role in personal experiences.

And then I just ask that you please think about the implications of someone known for being a vocal presence in certain fandoms, with a fairly sizable number of posts widely circulating throughout them......never having posts about male rape and survivorhood circulated to any noticeable degree, despite writing DOZENS of them, in all kinds of different moods, ways and intensity levels.....and all of them while active in fandoms where male rape is regularly discussed or focused on due to certain characters or storylines......and ask yourselves if it maybe seems a little off for the disparity to be THAT large. Again: I have written DOZENS of posts on this topic. All with less than twenty notes. I'll be composing a masterlist of them in the near future as well, but for now I'm just saying. Please just think about that.

While I'm going to make an effort to be more deliberate in how I approach this topic in posts going forward, tonally and in terms of word choice, I do have a right to be just as passionate about it as any other topic, and it is FUCKED UP to think that my personal experiences here should be pointed to as the very REASON I should need to be LESS passionate than I am anywhere else, in order to be heard or listened to. Still. I am not actually trying to override anyone else's viewpoint, present myself as some kind of ultimate authority, or shut down other survivors in any way....I'm just trying to uphold the relevancy and importance of adding my own perspective to the conversation.

I don't want to be the only voice listened to here. But as long as my voice is relevant, and I don't see or hear a lot of other voices speaking from a similar standpoint, I would like to be a RESOURCE on topics of male survivorhood, rape and recovery, from that particular standpoint. And even if and when other male survivors might perchance add their own perspectives with experiences and takes contrary to mine....I welcome that! Because mine is not the only one, cis white male survivors are no more a monolith than anyone else, and none of that will in any way actually invalidate my own perspective or experiences or render them no longer relevant at all.

Being a resource on a topic that has always been everpresent in most fandoms I've gravitated to - which has often been a reason FOR me gravitating to those fandoms in specific.....that has always been my ONLY goal with these kinds of posts. NOT an authority.

So, having my posts - which for all my willingness to write them, has never been easy for me and probably never will - reframed in such a negative way, dismissed and even weaponized against me - has over the years demoralized me and made it harder to find the energy TO tackle these topics, as much as I'd like to. But I do feel that I've found a second wind when it comes to this and think I'm ready to wade back into being Overly Opinionated on these topics as well.

So that's the third of the three post series I'll be starting, "Kalen vs Topics of Rape, Rape Culture and Survivorhood As Perceived Through A Singular Personalized Cis White Male Lens, Presented By (and With) My Middle Finger At Any Attempts to Subvert Or Undermine My Thoughts On Them By Reframing Them As Me Trying To Gatekeep Male Survivorhood No Matter How Many Times I Use The Words IN MY EXPERIENCE or IN MY OPINION, Which I Do A Lot, Because This Has Been Happening For A Very Long Time, And I Am Tired, But Still Very Opinionated, And Still Very Here, So Bite Me I Guess."

.....I'm still workshopping that one's title. Its a process.

ANYWAY. At the moment, I'm aiming to make one post of each once a month, and if I do more than that great, but not trying to pressure myself to do any more than that at the moment in the interests of Realism. We'll play it by ear. If I have more free time or energy than expected, maybe I'll do more. Its not like I have a shortage of Very Opinionated Opinions, after all. You've met me.

BUT I DIGRESS.

So in the interest of not making this long ass post any fucking longer, not that anyone really expected otherwise from my first post back in months, like could I REALLY even claim to ACTUALLY be back if all I had to show for it was some weak little lackluster drabble that wasn't even 3,000 words? Methinks the fuck not -

Well, have an abrupt and anticlimactic finish that comes out of nowhere despite giving myself literally 4,900 words to build to something appropriately profound or meaningful or whatthefuckever. Y'know. Your standard Kalen Classic. The abrupt and anticlimactic wrap up I mean, not the profound and deeply meaningful one. Eh. You get it.

Did ya miss me? I missed you!

PS - I was Informed that we are almost to the end of Tommy T's Tenure, is it almost safe to come back to Nightwing comics? Does anyone know when his last issue is? Have we planned the party yet? Who's on balloons, we definitely need balloons.

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elastylinson28 · 24 days ago

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It’s just starting to sink in that Liam is actually gone, and we will never see him again. One day, we will reach his age and be older than he ever was. And the most painful truth of all is that he’s now just a memory, and that is all he’ll ever be.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to friends messaging me, asking if it’s true. I didn’t know what “true” meant; I had no idea what was going on. I was so confused until one friend said, “It’s all over social media—Liam’s dead.” I immediately opened Twitter and saw the freshest tweets talking about the accident. I struggled to believe it. I thought maybe it was just a hoax, considering he’d just been in the spotlight a week ago, once again facing backlash. Then I went on Facebook and saw Good Morning America post about it, along with familiar names—names from years ago, names I hadn’t seen in a while, but still recognized from the days when I grew up loving One Direction.

I was shaken.

I didn’t know that a celebrity’s death could hit me this hard. Tears quickly followed, and I felt overwhelmed, like I might pass out. Just a few days before, I had been on Twitter defending Liam’s name over the pettiest reasons, with people pointing out the little things he did, claiming that the rest of the 1D guys always hated him.

I soon found out about the allegations against him, yet the little girl in me—the little girl who loved One Direction so deeply—just finds it hard to believe. Still, I gave the women my trust and decided that maybe it was time to accept that I don’t know these men personally. I chose to stay clear and quiet about all things Liam, as I couldn’t bring myself to even say anything, especially against him. It sounds wrong, but you can’t just simply erase all the years you spent loving and supporting someone that quickly. Instead, I chose to focus on the other lads and ignore all the controversies.

Days passed, and what was meant to be just another random day, the 17th, became a day that changed everything. I woke up to a completely different world—a world where Liam doesn’t exist. It’s a day I will never forget; a day that will stick with me for the rest of my life.

I spent the entire day on social media, sharing my grief with strangers who, like me, share a love for these guys, as well as people from my past who loved One Direction just as deeply. We all share this grief, all over the world, mourning for what has gone and what could’ve been. It did not have to end like this—a tragedy of this magnitude is so painful that it eats you alive.

It’s been years since I’ve come to terms with the fact that they are never coming back, and that’s okay. I accepted that, knowing that the little girl in me won’t and will never be able to. I believed that one day, when they were much older, they’d reunite for the last time—all five of them: Niall, Louis, Liam, Harry, and even Zayn. I knew it would be far, far off in the future, but I believed it would happen. But with his passing, all hope is gone. No matter what happens, One Direction just isn’t One Direction anymore, and that, I think, is the toughest pill I’ve ever had to swallow.

Liam’s gone.

Liam has always been the light of the band. Even as a young girl, I knew and recognized that he led them; he was called the “Daddy Direction” for a reason. Even after the band, he remained so supportive of them. As painful and hard as it is to admit, Liam didn’t get the recognition and success that the other four have. To see someone you adored get left behind and hated by the fans of the same people he called brothers hurt. And that is a fact that will always devastate me—how wronged he was by the public and the industry, and how that led him to inflict harm not just on himself but also on others. He needed help. He deserved help—a chance to get better. Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if things hadn’t gone wrong.

It’s so heartbreaking to think of the weight of all his struggles, the loneliness he must have felt, and the lost moments that can never be reclaimed. He died believing the world had turned its back on him, he was robbed of a second chance at life. He will never have the opportunity to witness his son grow up or create new memories with his family. Most tragically, he never got to experience the outpouring of love he is receiving now from the world and his brothers, a love that he deserved to feel when he was still alive.

Liam, you deserved so much more than the silence that now surrounds you. Rest now, knowing you will never be forgotten.

#one direction #liam payne #grief #fangirl #directioners #harry styles #louis tomlinson #niall horan #zayn malik #fangirling #im fucking sobbing rn #i am not okay #none of this is okay

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boasource · 6 months ago

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BoA recently hinted at retirement...

[Edited on 240825 for clarity and to include information that was revealed after I initially posted this, which can better contextualize what happened]

I made a thread on Twitter explaining the context behind BoA's recent IG stories, where she hinted at retirement, so I figured that I'd write up a post on it here too.

TL;DR: This announcement was a big shock - BoA has consistently said, up until the week before she posted those IG stories, that she wanted to continue singing and performing. Fans believe that BoA likely hinted at retirement because of the relentless harassment she's faced online.

On April 6th (240406), BoA hinted that she was planning to retire from being a singer entirely. The following day, she stated the exact date her contract was expiring. A few days later, she took down all of her IG posts.

What people seem to miss is that leading up to this, BoA has also been at the receiving end of constant online harassment for months.

(More under the cut)

BoA has been the subject of huge hate trains, arguably since 2021. This isn't a comprehensive list, but the big ones include:

People disagreeing with her decisions as judge on SWF and SMF, prompting a flood of hate comments on her IG, including accusations that she was 'trying to seduce the male contestants.'

GOT the Beat opened the floodgates for a lot of ageist comments about BoA, who was the group's most senior member. There were also malicious speculations about why she wasn't present in much of the group's behind-the-scenes content; BoA swiftly addressed this via her IG story, explaining that she had to attend a family event. While this wasn't named as the reason, it may be important to note that BoA's brother passed away from cancer on September that same year.

BoA was blamed for 'delaying the solo/group comebacks of her juniors,' in favor of GOT the Beat to 'boost her own career.' Not only has BoA (who is not even the group's leader; she gave the position to Taeyeon) already explained that she did not make the group — she was asked to join it and was, in fact, initially apprehensive — it was also later revealed that comeback delays were due to internal management issues (culminating in the ousting of Lee Sooman and Hybe's acquisition of SM) and because of disagreements about lyrical content. Interestingly, out of all the members of GOT the Beat, BoA ended up being the only member who didn't have a comeback in 2023.

The most recent wave of hate came from her cameo in the drama Marry My Husband, often mocking her appearance.

Since at least February 2024, BoA has been consistently and directly addressing the harassment she's been facing, both in interviews and in her social media. This is something she has rarely done in the 24 years she's been active.

Things came to a head on the evening of March 29th, when BoA posted this on her IG story:

This IG story prompted a huge wave of hate. There were forum posts calling her an attention seeker; notably, there was also a tweet that went viral, of a 'fan' saying that they now planned to unstan BoA because she was now "a completely different person."

One week later, on April 6th, BoA posted, "It's okay for me to retire right?" with an IG story that clarified that she intended to remain a singer until her active contract expires on December 31, 2025; the implication seems to be that she would no longer be an active singer after 2025.

This came as a huge shock to fans because BoA has consistently said that she wants to keep working as a singer:

August 25, 2020 [her 20th debut anniversary]: "There'll be a 30th anniversary after my 20th. I'll do my best to make good music for a long time, so please always give me your love and support!"

April 23, 2023 [Interview with Uhm Junghwa for W Korea]: "Actually, I'm the type who doesn't look back. After I've accomplished something, I don't have time to think, 'well done' or 'good job' because I'm already thinking of the next step. With that, there's no time for me to rest on my laurels, but this drive allows me to last a long time. It might be the most difficult thing, but my one hope is that I never tire of this job [being a performer], which I love so much."

February 23, 2024 [BoA for Marie Claire Korea]: "Right now, I enjoy my job, and I want to keep doing what I can, given my age."

Most notably, on the afternoon of March 29th — shortly before BoA responded to hate comments about her looks — BoA gave an interview with Esquire Korea, where she basically said that there were still so many things she wanted to accomplish as a singer:

Q: Is there something you still want to achieve? BoA: I want to do a lot of interesting performances. I want to break away from preconceived notions/conventions, sing songs I haven't done before, and create opportunities to communicate more with my audience. Q: What don't you want to change? BoA: My passion for music. Music is where I started. It's my life.

Right after BoA posted her retirement IG stories on April 6th, her fans organized truck protests (something the fandom has never done before), demanding that SM take action to defend BoA from the deluge of online hate.

They were incensed by the fact that in 2022, SM had already promised they would take legal action over malicious comments against her (she even reposted their statement on her personal IG), but nothing happened. In fact, legal action has only been taken in defense of BoA once, in 2020 — 20 years into her career, despite the fact that she's been going through much worse harassment, especially in the early 2000s when she was barely a teenager.

Five days after BoA's retirement announcement IG stories, on April 11th, SM announced that they were going to take legal action. While the statement resembled the one they put out in 2022, they also added that BoA was going through a difficult time, suffering from "great mental pain." A follow-up statement came on April 17th, where SM mentioned specific platforms and forums they were planning to sue. Unfortunately, as of this writing, there have been no further updates.

To recap:

On March 29th (afternoon), BoA gave an interview where she said that there was so many things she still wanted to do as a singer.

On March 29th (evening), BoA responded to malicious comments about her appearance on her IG story.

Her IG story quickly went viral in Korea. On March 30th, a post from a fan who claimed to 'unstan' her because of her IG story, garnered millions of views.

On April 6th, BoA hinted at retiring after 2025 on her IG story.

On April 9th, BoA removed all of her IG posts. Fans organized truck protests to call out SM's inaction vis-a-vis the harassment she was facing, in spite of their explicit, repeated promises to act on it.

On April 11th, SM issued a statement that they were going to take legal action against malicious comments about BoA, adding that BoA was suffering "great mental anguish."

As of this writing (August 25, 2024), there has been no formal, official announcement on whether or not BoA is really going to follow through with retiring after her active contract expires. But BoA has remained inactive on social media since April. There were only a handful of times she interacted with fans online: she went on IG live for 4 minutes in May to tell fans that she has plans to hold a concert in October, and she would also sporadically post a sentence-long message on her membership-only Weverse page.

On a more personal note from me: this has just been so disheartening to watch, as someone who's been following her career closely. The idea of BoA retiring was unimaginable to me. She always talked about how she compares her own career to other older artists, how she still feels like a 'baby' with a long way still to go compared to them. Obviously, it is well within BoA's right to change her mind about her own career, and surely, there are things going on behind the scenes that we don't know about. But the news has just been so hard to take because it doesn't feel like she's retiring because she wants to - it feels like she's burnt out.

#boa #boa kwon #long post #retirement #explainer

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yonemurishiroku · 1 year ago

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This is a different anon then the one that mentioned this before, but about the really popular twitter post about shipping only percabeth has some shockingly hateful comments :(( There were multiple twitter posts in that thread saying that people that shipped percy with anyone other than Annabeth should k*ll themselves or go to hell, twitter is getting to be just a very scary place in general for pjo multi shippers.

Eh. twitter has never been a safe place for shipping. Not as far as I know it. Since the dawn of shipping culture and the emergence of social media, there have always been people who are parasocial enough to death-threat someone else over, literally, 2D pixels.

Jesus Christ, I experienced it myself LMAO. Albeit on this hellsite called Tumblr.

Anw. A few words about this. These words apply to all fandom, not just PJO (unless it's a irl/real people fandom, then Idk ab that lmao)

I remember something I read from the Chinese fandom: The shipping culture, down to its very core, has never been about morals or righteousness or canon or whatever appropriate thing you come up it, but the genuine joy you yourself gain from the experience. It's about you.

Does it mean you win when your ship is canon? No. Absolutely not. That's just a narrow-minded view. The winning one is the one who gets the most joy out of this whole shipping delusional, imagining thing, regardless of the nature of the ship or whatever that is. Are you happy? Yes? Then you win!

Whoever said otherwise does not understand the purpose included in the shipping term itself.

About the specific post, I would suggest that you block whoever shows hostility that way on sight, especially if you're in the US or whatever country that enables gun possession I guess...

I mean. Where I live this shouldn't be too much of a critical issue, but I'm kinda worried when the Western Twitter users start getting... vicious (?) when the possibility remains that they would very much likely go to whatever they had in mind, with... dangerous weapon... to boost.

And it'd be so, so, so absurd to get killed over a fictional ship. it just isn't worth it. Not that death-threating ppl is worth it, but it's hard to change stupid opinionated dogmatic people's minds on the other side of the screen, so. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Don't risk your (online or irl) safety over it.

By the way it's the 21st century. who tf cares about going hell. I'm the manifestation of Satan itself, ok!? If you're worried about going to hell, just hit me up, I'll prepare the president's room for you with the view overlooking the tormented souls of those who think their fictional morals are worth more than real people's lives. I'll build you a sanctuary for you to create whatever the hell you want and god can try to pry it out of my black and blue hands. TRY ME.

Now, excuse you, I'll just go brainstorm a bunch of non-Percabeth ships. Damn I'll run a freaking crackcanon/crackship week if I have to.

#percy jackson #percabeth #pjo fandom #pjo #yone rambling #fandom talk #fanftiction #shipping #proship #hoo #toa #percy jackson and the olympians

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lcndonboysstuff · 9 months ago

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I don't know if I'm very optimistic or if I'm already fed up with the situation, but I don't feel so terrified or worried about the new TS album. In my opinion, I feel like it will be more of the same as before, only now they will have new lyrics and their conspiracy theories. But when I read some comments on X or even on Tumblr I start to get discouraged (maybe it's time to leave social media). I just like when there were some opinions about Joe, his career, his possible projects. Commenting and imagining about them made me feel happy and encouraged me when Joe didn't have events. It's a shame that now most of them are about concern for the new album and things like that (I understand, we just want to share our feelings with others) but I guess that will change over time.

Comments like he will be the most hated man in the US, or he will be finished and surely more that I have not read. I don't know, it's just social networks. There is always a lot of noise there but outside, in the world where he interacts, the people he works with don't see him that way. I remember being terrified when they break up but seeing what came next, going to events, chatting animatedly with friends and others actors, making contacts, smiling for photos, even at events I didn't see people giving him dirty looks or yelling horrible things at him. I know that it may affect his career somewhat, he may not film anything this year or until the end of the year (although he also has movies to promote) ,he makes his life outside of public events, he may take a while to promote ( maybe, I'm wrong ) but in general I don't think I will lose everything (if that's what the Swifties are referring to) or that I will be ruined forever. No. He has a team, good relationships with directors, he always acts with respect towards his work.

I just wanted to say that don't let the comments from swifties in socia media .They invent things, they misinterpret things and they are the ones who remain obsessed, not Joe.

comments like “he’s finished” when the album come out make me laugh because twitter is just a very loud bubble, go and ask someone irl what they think and i guarantee they won’t care. in the circles he works in it definitely doesn’t affect him, maybe it would be different if he was a musician who knows.

yes agreed, barely anything said on social media should be taken at face value, especially on a hell site like twitter

#anon

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peoplegettingreallymadatfurries · 2 years ago

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hi I've been denying that im a furry for years and im still denying it anyway how do I get more involved with the furry community, just of course without being a furry absolutely not nope

(genuine question cos I actually wanna get more involved with it lol)

One start I would suggest is making a furry sideblog. Really! This helps separate it for you rather than becoming vastly involved in creating a sona, making a fursuit, or anything else. This sideblog is your creation. You can use it to just reblog art you like. You can easily just delete it if you get overwhelmed, and it won't have a whole lot of repercussions. Maybe you could make it a gimmick blog of sorts, and just say "furries fascinate me, but I'm not interested in becoming one." Ultimately, this is one of the ways you can participate, and though I participated in this concept as a furry, that was the role my two furry accounts on tumblr started out as. This blog alone was going to be a parody of furry hate and isitfurbait was always meant to be pretentious and faux-academic.

Another way I could suggest you getting involved in fandom stuff is to join furry discord and telegram chats. There are a plethora of completely sfw ones that may be open to having a newcomer who just wants to see where the passion is and what follows. Sure you could join the nsfw servers, and some sfw servers have hidden channels for it, but you really don't have to be involved with the sexual stuff if you don't want to. These servers can help you establish connection. I found my current roommate from one of these. I also found my boyfriend of 3 years from these. You can just meet people who are very kind and well-meaning. They may be confused by someone who's choosing to remain an outsider, but you can still be there, as long as you show respect to your surroundings.

Other social media sites like twitter and tiktok (though the field is always changing) have very strong furry communities you can support. Just like before, if you want to just interact with people but not make characters of your own to exist as, that is fully fine. You get different flavors of people everywhere you go, and you get to learn how people live. Of course there's the joke of like "oh all furries are tech gurus and doctors in order to afford these things" when in reality, most furries are just service workers who budget differently.

You don't have to take any of the advice here from this post. If anything, you could just keep your likes page secret and hit like on every piece of furry art you enjoy. It's all up to you. Your life is partly what you make of it, and I hope you find a way to enjoy it

#furry advice column

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j3scax · 3 months ago

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Okay small rant time.

I'm getting real tired of like, social media atm. Idk if it's like, my own fault or the fault of the world or whatever but it just feels like everything is somehow so much more aggressively aggressive and in your face. Maybe when I was younger I just didn't realise, but it feels like recently all I see is drama, hit pieces or identity war shit.

I fully understand politics and such are important, as well as trying to help people understand why something may be problematic. But sometimes it feels so extremely overbearing. A lot of my YouTube feed is just "___ is over" or "___ is horrible" rather than like, random video essays I watch pretty much all the time. Most of the videos I watch aren't these kind of drama videos, I may watch an odd Moistcritical video now and then but other than that I wanna watch a fucking hour long video about Venus or something. It's why I appreciate channels like Wendigoon so much, even when he does get dragged into drama (which mind you is the personification of pointless drama I'm seeing) his channel just stays the same as always, I can just sit down and listen to him talk about some random cool niche thing.

Some social media platforms have always been like this, for example Twitter - that has always been a shit hole so it has always been easy to circumnavigate that kind of community since all you need to do is not to go on Twitter. But now it's just fucking everywhere and it makes me feel like shit. I'm tired of it all, and I don't care for it anymore. It feels like no matter where I go I have to deal with this shit, and although you could argue this stuff is important it surely isn't that important if I can talk to my friends or meet people irl and never get onto these subjects or topics. Sure it might come in passing like "Oh did you hear about ___" but that's the extent of it.

It also feels like no matter what your opinion is online you're somehow wrong to someone. You could give an extremely well detailed, well reasoned and well thought out opinion and you'll just be criticised just because mob mentality. And the inverse is true, it gives people with unreasoned opinions that are genuinely terrible to have a platform to share them. I've always said this is just the issue of free speech, if you allow people to freely speak there's going to be bad or negative opinions, but this shit shouldn't be constantly peddled to me on platforms like YouTube when I don't engage in the content.

I just feel like everything is more hateful and everyone seems to need to take sides on something, and if you even dare not to comment or remain partial (either because you don't care, don't want to involve yourself or believe you're not educated to give your opinion) you're somehow worse than fucking Satan himself. Yet even if you do give your stance you're still somehow hypocritical or a bad person. I just hate it and I genuinely don't think the internet used to be like this. I might be talking out of nostalgia. But pre-COVID compared to post-COVID just feels so much more noticeable to me.

I remember my time on social media back in 2019-2021 and while there were still some of the things I've discussed, it was nowhere near as obvious. Sure you had your niche areas of hatred like the DreamSMP, but as someone who never really engaged in the fandom or community I never really experienced the negatives of it and it wasn't as pushed into my face. That's how it used to feel to me, stuff like this would be relegated to just one area or fandom, rarely did stuff spread out of their own communities - and those that did spread out gained the reputation of being toxic with people knowing to avoid them. But now stuff begins to feed over into everything, and I mean everything. I could just be watching a streamer or whatever - someone who doesn't need to be or wouldn't be involved in said issue - and they'll be interrogated on every single view they have on every piece of drama. I was peddled a fucking GODZILLA drama video a couple days ago, a fandom I have never interacted with once or engaged with on YouTube.

I'm tired of it. Just because other people want to engage in a constant hate spiral to ruin their lives, want to constantly make money off of milking every topic of note, doesn't mean I want to. And if you ever express an opinion like this, suddenly you're a bad person, or you're defending whoever in whatever drama, or you're ignorant for ignoring current issues. Yes. I think knowing about and educating people on current issues is important, and I'm not saying it's bad to inform people or report news, but this shit is all I'm fucking given. Like I said earlier, you'd still have drama videos or exposés back before COVID, but it wouldn't constantly be in your face. It isn't like the News where you can choose to interact with it or not.

Even then, I'd still argue that the only issues that really matter are problems that relate to you - and these are the issues we should push people to research or interact with. We should push people to look into whether their tax money is being misused and we should educate them on it. We should educate people and give news to people about what is happening in their war torn home country. We shouldn't be constantly pushing people and forcing people to decide whether Mr. Beast is a pedophile or not. As someone who has no care for Mr. Beast, I don't fucking care and I don't want to see it or hear about it.

That's my little rant over.

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sociallyawkward--fics · 4 months ago

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HEY BACK AGAIN. idk how long its been cuz mobile is trash but me n my friend were talking abt how we were in a lot of the same fandom spaces as kids. Sanders sides being one of them. n i was like..... Long shot but do u know sociallyawkward--fics.. n at first they were like no i dont think so.. but then they looked u up n went OH MY GOD YEA??? ill send u a screenshot off anon but i told them we were friends n they said it was like finding out i knew a celebrity LMAO -H (ironic considering theyre prob more popular on ao3 than u😭 they briefly turned back into a 12yo fanboy)

its still so crazy to me ive known u for so long n met him like 3-4 years ago worlds collide ..... Also u can post this though im off anon if u want idc -H

ALSO. since im here. idk if i ever told u my age but when i sent my first ask to u i was probably 11. maybe 10 even. im turning 18 in a couple months now. its hard to bring myself to read some of the asks (ok most of the asks) i sent u over the years bc i was an incredibly anxious and awkward autistic kid. But u always treated me with so much love hahakjs at the time i was rly struggling n had very few friends n AS MUCH AS IT MAKES ME CRINGE TO LOOK BACK ON u were honestly the only older person i could talk to n it rly meant a lot lol. im so much more confident n comfortable in myself than i was all those years ago n ik i dont send u asks nearly as frequently anymore but tbh even if eventually its only once every few years ill always think back on u so fondly n gratefully. Neway i literally hate being sappy so ill shut up here but yeah. Thanks n such -H

ALSO IDK IF UR ACTIVE ON AMY SOCIAL MEDIA RLY?? BUT IF U R I CAN GIVE U SOME OF MY SOCIALS mostly i just tweet abt my day occasionally on twitter but i also have a sideblog where i post art. just thinking that maybe then i wouldnt have to be like 'and heres a quick summary of the past 8 months' n u could check up on me whenever instead of only seeing me when i send asks😭 -H (its also so less formal cuz when i send in asks u Gotta respond whereas if i post 'just ate a kickass burger' u can just. Like it. idk idc either way but lmk ^__^)

-----------------------------------

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ANSWER THESE FOR MONTHS SINCE I'VE BEEN USING TUMBLR AGAIN AND MY LACK OF OBJECT PERMANENCE HAD ME KEEP FORGETTING I AM SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭

dkjfhkdhf omg that is so wild that you have a friend who also knows about me dkjfhdsf Sanders Sides (back when it was waaaaay smaller of a fandom lol) was the first (and tbh only, really) fandom where i had any real level of "popularity" as a fic writer, and i fed off that high for SO LONG lol -- hearing that people were obsessed with my work, both then and now after the fact, is genuinely so surreal dfkjhdjkfh like. i am just Here, i am just Some Dude who wrote some words that got them weirdly popular at 17-18 dkjsfhdkjfh (also cuz i try to gather all your asks into one post, you continue to remain anonymous just cuz i copy-pasted them into the post in the same order they were received lol)

Dude it is CRAZY that you are almost 18 (or, by the time i am finally managing to answer this with my Bad Brain Powers procrastinating it so long, already 18) -- I looked back and I was 18 when you sent your first ever ask to me dkjfhdf that's so wild. I am so honored that you saw me as an older person you could come and talk to, even if it was just through anonymous tumblr asks for the past 6+ years lol. I always think of you fondly too, and I am so proud of you for the way you've grown up and grown into your confidence

ALSO YOU CAN TOTALLY SEND ME YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA djfdjdsjkf you can absolutely send me any of your socials!!! I know your main blog because you've sent some asks without it (have I ever remembered to follow it??? I meant to but I can't remember, this is also a Brain Forget-y Accidental Procrastination thing), but I would LOVE to see your art sideblog and def feel free to send me your twitter!! I have not opened my twitter in like. 3 months, because i was having Unhealthy Habits so i tucked the app into a pocket out of site and stopped using it for a while, but I am doing better now and would definitely open it back up more often again to see what you were up to

Also!!! You can always feel free to DM me on any of my blogs/sideblogs here on tumblr, too! You don't have to wait to send an ask (though I love receiving asks from you, don't ever feel like you have to stop even if we connect elsewhere!), you can always DM me on any of my blogs (or on any other socials we may exchange, too!)

#ask #anon #H anon #my kids are all growing up 😭😭

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apples-nle · 1 year ago

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I remember when Twitter was cool (a eulogy to a website I used to love/hate)

In the next few weeks, I’m likely going to be trying my hand at various different social media sites, figuring out where my new posting home is going to be. My sister recommended Tumblr (which here is my first attempt), Instagram launches it’s much anticipated “Threads” today, a BlueSky code is heading my way very soon, and i’ve been posting nonsense in what is affectionately being called “the drilcord” (a discord server run by twitter icon Dril). All of these things are ostensibly lifeboats being launched from a sinking ship. The death of Twitter has been slower than anticipated, but the Titanic has officially cracked in half and Elon’s takeover seems to be nearly at its inevitable and predictable conclusion: Twitter will die.

My first time logging onto twitter was probably around 2011/2012. I can’t be sure because I’ve deactivated, been banned and started new accounts multiple times over the years. So this telling contains no hard historical data. I am only a single witness to the chaos. But it wasn’t always chaos. I started using the website as a sort of diary... or maybe more accurately an online “whiteboard” where I would post fleeting ideas I could use in my weekly movie reviews that I posted for a small website at the time. I had little intent of really gaining followers or making connections, but the early algorithm tended to push many of us with similar interests together. Most of the conversations would be playful ribbing regarding what movies we loved/hated. Talking about our movie-going experiences that week, posting small capsule reviews of the newest blockbuster. All that sort of junk. I think by the end of 2012 I had something like 150 followers. But I considered a significant chunk of them to be “friends” on some level.

Most of these people would form the bedrock of what came to be known as “Film Twitter”. This experience probably sounds familiar to anyone who had been using twitter at the time. “Book Twitter”, “Weird Twitter”, “Sports Twitter” and many other circles around the website would form similarly. All neatly compacted in their own little echo chamber that didn’t really have much effect on the outside world. And it was fun. These were the early years. Over time, these echo chambers would come into clash with one another and spirited debates would become a dominant event on the website. Often these arguments would spiral in to toxic “i’m right/you’re wrong” that instilled a lot of anger in myself and others. But it also produced an intense high of calling someone a “fartknocker” and watching them “slowly shrink into a corncob”. It also, more importantly started to form a lot of the modern vernacular that would come to define what was cool/not cool on the site. As these different “twitters” converged, one of them really reigned supreme above all: Weird Twitter. I can’t definitively say this was Twitter at its best, but I can say this is when Twitter was at its most original and innovative. The shitposting was incredible. The brain rot had set in and everyone began to post nonsense onto the timeline with little regard for decency or thought. Sarcasm and insincerity ruled the land. It was glorious. And hilarious. The best days were when the Villain of the Week would reveal themselves, with a tweet so dubious, and more importantly, intensely sincere in its stupidity, that the entire site would dogpile on them with such ferocity that it would send people running and screaming from the platform. Twitter became a mean place and bullying became the norm. Even to this day, this is the one constant that remained among the changing ecosystem over the years. It result in some spectacular displays of roasting. My personal favourite of this was when polls were still a novel tool on the platform. A grandiose “shittiest twitter account of all time” bracket in the style of March Madness took place yearly. In 2016, some of the highest ranking personalities came in the form of Arthur Chu and Mike Cernovich (remember him?). But against all odds #12 ranked Kurt Eichenwald made a cinderella run after posting some truly terrible political opinions around the same time as he posted a picture outing himself as a Hentai enjoyer. This was not really a crime in it of itself, but his attempts to deflect it as he “was showing my kids/wife that this is a real thing” (paraphrasing) made him look spectacularly dumb. He ended winning that year. God that was so funny. Around this time of course though, one posting personality had emerged that would change the world online and offline: Donald Trump. I won’t recount much of the 45th President’s time in office or his politics. We all know how that went. His role on twitter though was much more complicated. One thing that you need to understand though is that Donald was one of the best shitposters of all time. He was so funny. I’m sorry if this angers you, but all the way back in 2012, all the way up to his eventual twitter ban following the January 6th insurrection, he was glorious. He was a lighting rod for those dogpiling sessions referenced above. But Donald relished in being the villain, and as a result his villainy was suddenly become to be appreciated, because at the end of the day Twitter Is A Mean Place. And those who were among the top tier of shitposting couldn’t help but appreciate the unabashed way he did not give a shit. Game recognized Game. His ascendency to the White House came with a lot of baggage and made a lot of the humor come with an asterisk. It was still very funny, but it was also incredibly terrifying. And the dogpiling became something closer to a crusade in an effort to halt his stampede to the highest power in the Western World. This had the effect of unifying twitter under one large umbrella. It didn’t quite change the website from all the differing chambers into one amorphous blob, but it came close. Politics was the order of the day and nearly everything on the site became an extension of Donald Trump’s candidacy and Presidency. This fixation on politics more and more was already sort of happening way back in 2014 when GamerGate had kicked off, but Trump was the straw that broke the camels back. His contribution is really what turned twitter into what it is today. The echo chambers did inherently still exist, but they overlapped much more frequently now. And ultimately this is also where the decline started. See the thing about politics is that it’s impossible to not be sincere. Because things aren’t really trivial when it comes to all these hot button issues. But because Twitter thrived on chaos and controversy, the loudest and most extreme voices often ended up getting pushed by the algorithm. And unfortunately that often meant suddenly things didn’t seem so trivial anymore. It stopped being fun. But getting the dopamine from those likes and retweets so was intoxicating it didn’t matter. The endless scrolling provided us with spectacular displays of idiocy and god awful posts that we couldn’t look away. We were already addicted. It was impossible to log off.

There is little positive to say about the 7 years since then. Obviously some comedy still had come about, and even twitter’s funniest arcs occurred during this era when Trump caught Covid as well as Jan 6th. But those things were the result of our crumbling society. The site just happened to be there to witness the fall of Rome. More importantly the anger and animosity which was once funny and novel started to become exhausting. Things got pretty real when Nazis and Communists started having more of a voice on the site (not that i’m equating the two ideologies; Fuck Fascists). Radicalization happened at a much larger degree. During this time I deactivated my account twice just to get away from it, because Doomscrolling had become so pervasive it was damaging my mental health. I eventually returned, but I made sure to keep my toe out of the politics pool. I focused more on engaging with experimental artists and tweeting about hockey/football. Things started to calm down after Trump left office but the scars of his time in office remained. It was just a slightly more muted version of this political era. The shitposting would never really return to it’s golden days. No one wanted to say it, but the website wasn’t the same. It was on the decline, and the algorithm had changed so much to reflect the Trump years that came before, that it damaged the once novel user experience. Eventually Elon Musk would step in. He was a big fan of the platform, but he was also one of the worst posters of all time. It didn’t matter much though as he amassed a pretty big following resulting from all his media attention surrounding his business ventures. The news would often portray him as the next Thomas Edison (they were right, but not for the reasons they intended) and many people sincerely looked at him as a genius of the modern era. That obviously disappeared with time but for some reason Musk was as brain rotted as the rest of us and considered himself an elite poster, likely using his engagement metrics as validation. Unfortunately he’s a stupid billionaire and decided to buy the aging website out of some misplaced desire to enshrine himself as perhaps a holy figure among the masses. It didn’t work. All it ensured was that the slow decline of the site would speed up dramatically. In the era of TikTok, Twitter has begun to show its age.

It’s probably for the best that twitter ends this way. Instead of quality fading into obscurity, blowing itself up in embarrassing tech blunders run by an incompetent poster is probably the funniest way for the site to die. Everyone jumping ship looking for a new home that fits their preferred communities and posting styles. I’m not sure which one I’m going to land in, but I’ll bounce around until one of them really sticks with me. Maybe it’s tumblr? Maybe Threads? Or maybe I’ll just go back to the Something Awful forums (which is inexplicably still running in 2023). I don’t know what the point of this eulogy/essay is. I don’t think there’s much of a lesson here. But Twitter was a big part of my life, it outlasted an entire 8 year relationship, multiple jobs, my graduate and post graduate education life, 5 different apartments and numerous friends that have come in and out of my life, I’m going to miss it. And I can’t wait for it to die. P.S. Can anyone teach me how to use this website?

#twitter #tumblr #essay #elon is an idiot #shitpost #random #rant post #twitpocalypse #twitimported #intro post #fuck elon #Threads #Meta #bluesky

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