#twink anime styles my beloved | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

smute · 2 years ago

Text

“My roots go down to the depths of the world, through earth dry with brick, and damp earth, through veins of lead and silver. I am all fibre. All tremors shake me, and the weight of the earth is pressed to my ribs.” (Virginia Woolf, The Waves)

Hi! I'm Jan 🍒 • he/they; er/ihm • 32 • gay queer nb man toy right hand arm. man. • nuance enjoyer • germany • i have two literature degrees and poast about man boops and their ilk 🍉 • queue is on 24/7 🍓

my letterboxd 🍿

tag list ⬇️

housekeeping:

#& = og posts/additions

#my face = selfies and og pics

#my art = stuff i made

#my words = stuff i wrote

#moochies = mutuals 💕

#tag game = tag games

smut:

i tag #nudity to make filtering easier for my followers. that includes all kinds of nudity (full, partial, sexual, non-sexual, etc.) and i use it in addition to the existing community tags and the other nsfw tags listed below. if you want to be on the safe side feel free to block individual tags as well:

#ah ohhh big honkin boobies some massive mmmmommy milkers huge hombers like massive gazongas just enormous milkin hooters = the highly acclaimed tiddy tag

#thirst tag

#full cocking balls = 🍆 and 🍒

#omg nobody look hes ass = butts 🍑

#ough veiny = veiny body parts

#ough hairy = hairy men

bush is life = bushy men

#sigh... twinks = not so hairy men

#hands = 👋

#slutty slutty stache = mustache pics 👨🏻

#sigh = gay kissies 💋

#tenderness = touch and skin and general physical intimacy

oh and i use "👁️👁️" in a few other horny tags so if you filter that too you should be good <3

general sfw things:

#adhd = adhd stuff

#fav = things i want to find again ❤️

#ref = useful information

#mecore = smutecore 🥺

#slopcore = bowlable meal appreciation (tm the ago)

#is he single = sfw thirst tag

#bopo = body image things, body positivity/neutrality

#always reblog = poasts i know ive reblogged a lot 🔄

#german stuff = german stuff 🇩🇪

#want and #shopping list = stuff i want, mostly earrings 🛒

text:

#poetry = poems

#words = quotes 📖

#web weaving = webbed weavings

#note to self = kind motivational things/advice/general positivity ☀️

#lit = literature/lit crit/all my hottest takes 🤓

#d. h. lawrence = blorbo from my studies

#the lonely city my beloved = book i'll never shut up about

#ling = linguistics

#writing = writing 📝

#to read = book recs and articles 📚

#read later = reblogged without reading

visual:

#to watch = stuff i'm totally gonna watch 📺

#art = mostly paintings 🖼️

#photography = photography 📷

#portrait = portraits

#people = duh

#dudes chilling sexily = art of dudes chilling sexily (tm harsha)

#men with books = 3 guesses

#arch = architecture

#homes = interiors

#dream home = exteriors lmao

#donttouchme = remote hice 🏡

#the siren call of the altbauwohnung = pre-war apartments

#they dont make them like this anymore = old books📕

#vestiture = clothes shoes bags jewelry etc

#10/10 would wear = also clothes 💃🏼

#embroidery = embroidery 🪡

nature:

#i miss the sea = water 🌊

#so liedownable = soft grass 🌱

#moistcore = gratifying wetness

#ah yes. the gnarled branch rough and twisted beckons you to dream = gnarled branches

#hills to roll down = rolldownable hills

#frühling = spring 🌷

#sommer = summer 🌞

#herbst = fall 🍁

#winter = ☃️

#i want snow = snow and ice ❄️

#strawbebbies my beloved = 🍓

#me i pet him wethands style = soft animals; mostly dogs

#our michael = old photos of cats (and dogs) 🐈

#or so i've heard = big-eared animals

#ough dr puderzucker = corgis ��

#pasum = possum pics (and some raccoons) 🐾

#horse girl tag = irl hoarsies and rdr2 🐎

#creacherpoasting = creature posting

vibes:

#god i wish that were me = stuff i wish i could be

#i think that would fix me = things that would fix me

#lovecore = 💕🥰

#slutcore = self-explanatory 🖤

#snorkmimicore = oh so eepy 🥱

#on all levels except physical i am a smoker = smokers being hot and cool 🚬

#oh i remember hair = bald poasts

#ough = ough <3

#wholesome = wholesome things 💖

#i hate the future = dystopian things

places:

#i miss london = london 🇬🇧

#ough pawwis = paris 🇫🇷

#vedi napoli e poi muori & #italianpoasting = italy 🇮🇹

#island = iceland 🇮🇸

#faroe islands = the faroe islands 🇫🇴

#americana = norf america 🇨🇦🇺🇸🇲🇽

#fucking switzerland = 🇨🇭

#trains = trains 🚂

#i want to go to there = other places

i try to use common trigger and content warnings, but i'm the most consistent with things related to EDs, dieting, weight loss, and fatphobia

format: "[thing]" or "[thing] tw"/ "[thing] cw"

(last updated December 2024)

#ill try to keep this updated #not a complete list #obvi #mostly made this for myself #but feel free to block/filter whatever you need #&#tag guide

22 notes · View notes

wri0thesley · 3 years ago

Note

i want to preface this with saying i have jojo brainrot and im not being a hater i love horny people!!! but every time i look up a genshin character you guys are thirsting after on here!!!! they are so small! the smallest men in the world!!! little guys! MILS (men id like to suplex)!!!!! ARE THERE NO BEEFY BASTARDS IN THIS GAME???

ok anon, in all fairness, you are absolutely right. this is a game full of anime twinks. the CLOSEST you're getting to a beefy boy is itto (my beloved). honestly i think diluc should arguably have much more muscle and be wider and he is going to remain so in my brain (he's a claymore wielder!!! i believe he even has a couple of moves where he swings the sword in ONE HAND. he should be beefier!). the art style just favours slim pretty boys, which is understandable (art styles are ofc a thing) but i'm going to keep. considering several of them as being wider and thicker than the game allows. that's who i am. the abyss heralds also be looking kinda broad.

#genshin impact posting #anon may have jojo brainrot but theyre also right fgbnkjgfkjn

18 notes · View notes

vaguely-concerned · 3 years ago

Text

putting the rest of my 'island of assassins' reactions in one post to spare people's dashes lol honestly watch this one it rules

- ms. ellen island of assassins my beloved ;_________; best 'girl of the installment' by miles and miles, she's so cool

- the crew: go to a terrifying death island full of remorseless murderers and deadly poisons

jigen, eternally my delight and my joy: brings a fucking umbrella with him fsakdfhasdkjlfh

they're doing such a hilarious thing in this one where in the visual design he's presented at his most actually scary/intimidating, but in everything he's actually doing he's adorable. cooking for goemon! giving good life advice even to people who're trying real hard to stab him! letting bomber down gently but in a very 'believe in yourself man' way! I love him

such good zenigata content in this one considering he spends most of it cooped up in bed with his lil twink assistant (sadly not like that, no, tho honestly I think that would be good for him at some point actually)

- may we also speak for a moment about the fact that someone shot zenigata and it instantly made lupin go '...welp gotta go to the ends of the earth to fucking end the entire career of whoever did this' aww look he does care about ol' pops

simultaneously cracking up and going d'aaaw buddy ;___; at bomber's palpable heartbreak in this scene... jigen almost shot him in the head and he instantly fell in love huh fhdsakfhasd sorry bro he's an extremely taken man (I love bomber he's a fun character)

(also I must be imagining this but this special really does feel laden in Subtext in so many ways somehow lmao)

WELL UH THIS HITS A BIT DIFFERENT CONSIDERING WHAT JIGEN USED TO DO FOR A LIVING HUH (that's all jigen's dialogue btw, the evil henchman's answer is just like 'nah I like killing tbh*shrug*' between frame 1 and 2)

also, listen... I know I am an incorrigible jigenfucker but add this scene with the fact that at the end of the movie he's the one who gets why lupin did this and why it all mattered even when they didn't get anything out of it in the end and the lyrics of the end credits song taken together..... Themes tm in my brain man I want to write a goddamn fic about this haha

GOEMON IN WITH THE RESCUE, MPV of this battle as far as I'm concerned

- goemon and fujiko were kind of just... there and little bit of comic relief in this one but that hug was so cute haha (...I kind of ship it at this point I think they'd be much better for each other than fujiko and lupin are lol)

- bomber noooooo D: the way he smiled when he saw jigen was honestly worried for him tho Y______Y I guess going out on a big fucking boom would be how he'd want to go

- holy shit this one has a genuinely good plot twist!!! good plot? in MY lupin iii media? apparently it sometimes happens hahaha

like I said this one does have some basic bitch 90s anime style problems but if you look past that there's so much excellent stuff here. doesn't feel quite like a normal lupin story but I don't think it's to its detriment really

(there's one incredibly weird gross scene with fujiko near the start but like... isn't there always *sigh*)

- okay this fight scene between lupin and his psycho ex kicks ass actually, I guess this is where half the budget went lol

- again ellen is so good. rest in peace queen you deserved the world :'( (also her interactions with lupin were so sweet and much more geared towards a genuine friendship, which makes lupin so much more likable to watch too)

#lupin iii #island of assassins #an unexpected banger I'd say!

28 notes · View notes

nurvuss · 4 years ago

Text

I Watched the First Episode of Every New Spring 2021 Anime Airing on Crunchyroll

Hey, are you like me, and feeling like you're not getting the most out of your Crunchyroll subscription? Sure, there's stuff on there that you know you like. But whenever I look at the big long list of simulcasting shows, my eyes glaze over and I don't even know where to begin.

I wanted to change my habits and see if there were any shining gems that I should be watching. So, as per the title, I watched the first episode of every new Spring 2021 anime on Crunchyroll. And guess what? There’s a lot of crap! But indeed, there’s some stuff that’s worth your time.

Some clarification: I've only watched shows that began their first season in April 2021.

Backflip!!

Show Link

The Lowdown

As Futaba Shotaro comes to the end of middle school, his interest in baseball has begun to wane. Soon he notices the Ao High Boys Gymnastic Club and becomes enthralled, especially after seeing them perform. Once he learns they're down two members, he chooses to sign up and pursue the art of gymnastics. The club is also joined by Misato Ryoya, a star solo gymnast looking to expand his technique through teamwork.

Our Thoughts

Pretty formulaic shoujo sports anime: you've got your himbo, your thug, your ladies' man, your stoic guy, with Shotaro rounding out the cast as the shy and awkward audience surrogate. It looks wholesome enough, and the choreographed routines employ CG in a way that's quite convincing without being hideous.

Who It's For

Fans of FREE, or Yuri!!! on Ice, or any similar shows about cute boys who succeed at athletic feats.

Borscht Rating

Burning Kabaddi

Show Link��

The Lowdown

Legendary high school soccer star Yoigoshi Tatsuya has given up on sports! That is, until he's blackmailed to join the high school kabaddi team, under threat of his online persona being leaked to the entire school. Although Tatsuya initially writes kabaddi off as stupid, the unexpected happens as he begins to have fun.

Our Thoughts

Kabaddi is kinda like competitive tag, or dodgeball but with your body instead of a ball. Burning Kabaddi is basically the shounen alternative to Backflip!! above, replete with nosebleeds, pratfalls, and dudes punching each other. The main cast don't seem to like each other very much; that probably changes as the show goes on but at first blush it's a dynamic I always find annoying.

Who it's For

Fans of Haikyuu!!? Maybe?

Borscht Rating

CARDFIGHT!! VANGUARD overDress

Show Link

The Lowdown

The newest series based on Bushiroad's collectible card game, featuring character designs by the beloved collective CLAMP. Petit middle schooler Yu-Yu just doesn't know how to say no. As his older students dress him in drag to use as live makeup practice, he suffers a panic attack and flees into the streets. After being accosted by a pickup artist, he's befriended by Megumi, who invites him to witness a Cardfight match at the local abandoned amusement park. However, Yu-yu is too shy to tell Megumi he's actually a boy…

Our Thoughts

What an unexpectedly weird concept for a show about a card game. Our hero spends the whole episode in drag, whimpering and simpering at the sight of any conflict. Then they show off the latest series of cards, which all seem to be giant buff knights with names like "Bad Steve" and "Violent Bruce". Your guess is as good as mine.

Who it's For

Cardfight!! lovers, Japanese gender studies majors, or the most desperate fujoshi.

Borscht Rating

Cestvs: The Roman Fighter

Show Link

The Lowdown

The year is 54AD, and Nero has taken the throne as the youngest emperor of Rome. At the bottom of the population, Cestvs is a young slave training to be a colosseum boxer. Reluctant, his only choice is to fight or die.

Our Thoughts

Seeing Nero depicted as a gentle little twink is pretty funny. It's also pretty funny that the central character is named after a Roman boxing glove. The animation style transitions to some very uncanny CG when a major fight takes place, and I didn't like that one bit! This seems like a pretty average tournament anime but with a historical setting. It's currently unknown if any of these dudes are fucking each other. I'm gonna say probably.

Who It's For

The venn-diagram of Greco-Roman history buffs and lovers of tournament series?

Borscht Rating

Don’t Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro!

Show Link

The Lowdown:

Hachioji Naoto is a nerdy, introverted student who spends his time studying and avoiding socialising. When pages from the fantasy manga he's drawing fall out of his bookbag, they catch the attention of a younger student named Nagatoro Hayase. Nagatoro begins to tease Naoto for his otaku interests and awkward demeanour, peppered with some suggestive flirting.

Our Thoughts:

What would you do if a younger girl flirted with you? Would you cry? Piss your pants maybe? Maybe shit and cum? Don't Toy With Me… attempts to barely conceal its BDSM fantasy with its comedic elements, but it's incredibly apparent as Nagatoro always wipes away Naoto's tears as a sort of aftercare. It's like a lighter, comedic version of Aku no Hana, but lacking any of the ponderings or danger that made that work so special.

Who It's For:

People who search Pornhub for "bratty sister femdom".

Borscht Rating:

86 Eighty-Six

Show Link

The Lowdown

The Republic of San Magnolia and the Giad Empire, have been at war for nearly a decade. Using advanced military technology, the frontlines are fought by giant mecha drones called Juggernauts, controlled remotely by Handlers. Major Vladilena Mirizé is one of the military's most talented Handlers in the 1st District, and one who is constantly teased by her peers for the humanity and empathy she shows her squadron. The government line is that drone warfare has kept casualties to zero, but unbeknownst to the public these "drones'' are piloted by 86ers—the lowest class of citizens, forced to live in military internment camps in San Magnolia's 86th District.

Our Thoughts

This is incredibly my kind of thing. We've got a dual narrative being set up here: Vladilena as the kind, reluctant officer of a fascist regime, and the Bad Company-esque antics of her new ragtag squad, Spearhead. The first episode is split pretty evenly between the two, with each story converging at the end as Vladilena "meets" Spearhead for the first time through her comms station. It's an explosive and enticing first episode, and I can't wait to watch more of it.

Who It's For

Fans of Fullmetal Alchemist, Psycho-Pass, Gundam, or any number of anti-imperialist war stories.

Borscht Rating

Fairy Ranmaru

Show Link

The Lowdown

In a quiet corner of the city sits Bar F, a modest drinking establishment staffed entirely by five hot young men. Unbeknownst to the general population, these men are a crack team of fairies sent to the human world to gather the latent energy of "attachment". They do this by solving the problems of young women, taking their hearts in the process.

Our Thoughts

Hubba hubba, a little something for the ladies! It's Weiẞ Kreuz with a bar instead of a flower shop, fairies instead of assassins, and some pretty revealing outfits. There's definitely a little Persona 5 inspiration here too, from the punctuating phrase "Take your Heart!" to many of the visual cues. Make of that what you will.

Who It's For

Fans of Weiẞ Kreuz, slash fic authors.

Borscht Rating

Farewell, My Dear Cramer

Show Link

The Lowdown

Onda Nozomi was once the star player of her middle school football team. Completely unmatched, she no longer plays as there's no opponent she deems to be on her level. Meanwhile Suou Sumire far outpaces her teammates, causing her frustration. By a twist of fate, these two girls find themselves joining the scrappy Warabi Seinan High School FC as they begin to learn the value of teamwork and friendship.

Our Thoughts

I don't know sports. And I really don't know football. I had to look up what the title meant, and now I barely know who Dettmar Cramer is. I'm really not the best person to judge this, but it seems like a pretty good female-driven sports anime.

Who It's For

Fans of Ace o Nerae! or other sports manga/anime about those ever burning bonds between young teammates.

Borscht Rating

Gloomy, the Naughty Grizzly

Show Link

The Lowdown:

Pitty lives with his pet Gloomy, a massive pink bear. Can a boy and a bear truly get along?

Our Thoughts:

This is a series of minute-long gag episodes in which Gloomy mauls Pitty and blood squirts everywhere. It's definitely meant to be a morbid parody of Sanrio or San-X; it might be a Rilakkuma parody in particular? Gloomy is the kind of thing you might laugh at if it came on in between shows, but it's pretty slight to go through the trouble of putting on.

Who It's For:

Gag anime fans with one minute to spare.

Borscht Rating:

Higehiro: After Being Rejected, I Shaved and Took in a High School Runaway

Show Link

The Lowdown

After a night of drinking in Tokyo, slovenly salaryman Yoshida encounters a teenage runaway sitting under a lamppost. She offers to sleep with him in return for letting her spend the night in his apartment. Yoshida refuses her offer but allows her to stay. The next morning the girl, Sayu, reveals she's travelled all the way from Hokkaido, sleeping with random men in return for lodging and money. Feeling responsible for her safety, Yoshida agrees for Sayu to stay indefinitely in return for handling household chores.

Our Thoughts

This is kind of the inverse of Koikimo (see below), but without a scumbag character and from a male perspective. It's not nearly as nauseating as that show, but it's still a fantasy about living with a busty teenage girl.

Who It's For

Libertarians.

Borscht Rating

I've Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level

Show Link

The Lowdown:

Office lady Aizawa Azusa dies of overwork in her early 20s, and finds herself standing before a lecherous goddess. Allowed a wish as compensation for her untimely demise, Azusa wishes for an endless life of leisure. The goddess reincarnates her as a 17-year-old immortal witch in an RPG-coded fantasy world. Thrilled, Azusa lazes about, brewing potions for her neighbouring villagers, and kills a small amount of slimes each day to supplement her income. After doing this every day for 300 years, she inadvertently finds herself at Level 99. Her peaceful life is soon upended as adventurers and dragons come from miles around to challenge the legendary witch.

Our Thoughts:

I'm not really an isekai fan, and that goes double for series which aren't set in an RPG, yet use RPG mechanics. Levelling up, grinding stats, min-maxing, as if it's a part of the fabric of the setting. I don't get it. I like watching numbers go up as much as the next dork, but I don't need to watch numbers go up in absolutely every piece of media I consume. Just play a fucking video game, Jesus Christ almighty.

I thought this might be setting up a fun series in which a layabout is reluctantly called upon to undertake a dangerous quest, but I don't think that's what's going on at all. When the red dragon Laika wrecks Azusa's house, she transforms into a cute young girl and the two begin living together, teaching each other the pros and cons of hard work and slothfulness respectively. The trajectory of the series might be as laid back as its protagonist in the end, which, ultimately, would be fitting.

Who It's For:

Isekai fans, slice-of-life fans. The twain have met!

Borscht Rating:

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood

Show Link

The Lowdown

In alternative history Japan the Meiji Period continued well into the 1930s, and the ongoing Tokugawa Shogunate has brought technological prosperity to the nation through a magical energy source called the Dragon's Vein. Sawa Yukimura runs a bookshop where she lives with her little sister by day, but by night she's an assassin for Nue, the shogunate's secret police. As the terrorist group Kuchinawa deploys transforming beasts in an attempt to topple the shogunate, Nue springs into action with their own abilities.

Our Thoughts

There are a lot of concepts competing here, and a few too many flashy transformation sequences for my taste, but I'm really into it! Nue are made up of sex workers and street musicians, often overlooked and therefore easily able to blend in. There's a supernatural Standalone Complex vibe to how the team operates, and they're almost assuredly on the wrong side. Worth a shot!

Who It's For

Fans of alternate history science fiction, Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, Demon Slayer.

Borscht Rating

Koikimo: Koi to Yobu ni wa Kimochi Warui ("It's Disgusting to Call This Love")

Show Link

The Lowdown

Amakusa Ryo is a womanizing salaryman concerned with nothing but his own base desires. As he slips on the train station stairs one morning, he's saved by the swift action of Arima Ichika, a kind-hearted high schooler. When it turns out Ichika is friends with Ryo's younger sister Riou, he decides she's his soulmate, and begins to pursue her no matter how many times she refuses him. Comedy ensues!

Our Thoughts

Yeah, OK groomer.

Alright look, Korikimo is written by a woman and told from Ichika's perspective, so this is obviously meant to be a lighthearted "older man" shoujou romance. As an older man, all I saw were the adventures of a paedophile and the teenager he's stalking. Fuck off.

Who it's For

There's probably other stuff like this, right? If you like that, here you go.

Borscht Rating

Let's Make a Mug, Too

Show Link

The Lowdown

After the death of her mother, Himeno and her father relocate from bustling Tokyo to quiet Tajimi City in Gifu Prefecture. The former salaryman opens a quiet cafe using the remarkable mugs made by his late wife, while Himeno follows in her mother's footsteps and joins the school pottery club. Although her first project ends in disaster, Himeno makes fast friends with the eccentric pottery enthusiasts who make up the club.

Our Thoughts

It's no Eizouken, but I guess it's probably not meant to be. I'm not a big iyashikei genre fan, but if that's your thing, you might enjoy the wholesome non-adventures of three girls trying to make a mug. It's worth noting these episodes are only about 12 minutes long, with the remaining runtime segmented into live action episodes where the voice actresses tour Tajimi and unconvincingly pretend to be interested in Gifu's famous mino-yaki pottery. I think this must be a tie-in with a local tourist board.

Who It's For

People who enjoy stuff like Aria, actually.

Borscht Rating

OddTaxi

Show Link

The Lowdown

In a Tokyo populated by anthropomorphic animals, a solemn walrus named Odokawa spends his nights driving his cab around the bustling metropolis, spending his free time drinking with his pals. Odokawa soon finds his quiet life disrupted by a caper involving a missing girl, some crooked cops, and the animal yakuza.

Our Thoughts

A deft blend of working class slice-of-life with mystery, cute animals, and striking visual design. OddTaxi might be the sleeper hit of Spring 2021.

Who It's For

Fans of existentialist film noir with absurdist comedy, Polar Bear Cafe, walrus lovers.

Borscht Rating

Osamake: Romcom Where The Childhood Friend Won't Lose

Show Link

The Lowdown

Suehiro Maruo Sueharu Maru has his heart set on Shirokusa Kachi, the hottest girl in school. When she begins dating a young actor, Sueharu confides in his childhood friend Kuroha Shida, who's openly in love with him and he rejected in the past. Kuroha suggests the two get revenge on Shirokusa by pretending to be in love. Will Sueharu fall in love with Kuroha for real, making her dreams come true?

Our Thoughts

Give me a fucking break.

Who It's For

I don't know and I don't care.

Borscht Rating

SD Gundam World Heroes

Show Link

The Lowdown

The newest instalment of the SD Gundam media-mix franchise. In a world populated by super deform mecha, a burning meteor lands in the middle of Captain City. From it launches a terrible mechanized beast: Naughty Lion. When the police are powerless to stop it, a crack team led by Zhuge Liang Gundam and Liu Bei Gundam sorties to bring Naughty Lion to justice. When the beast stops rampaging, it transforms into Sun Wukong Gundam, a youthful amnesiac mecha horrified at the destruction he wrought. The Three Kingdoms Gundams welcome Sun Wukong into the fold to make sense of this mysterious event.

Our Thoughts

I'm an 80s kid, I know a 30-minute toy commercial when I see one.

No, seriously though, I'm aware of SD Gundam's merchandising—they're cute designs, and I even used to have a bunch of the gum rubber mini figurines. I've played the SD Great War Super Famicom games, they're fun! This is a vehicle to get kids hyped up about the latest toys, which are...based on a hodgepodge of Journey to the West and Romance of the Three Kingdoms this year? There's even a little SD Guan Yu Gundam with a big long beard!

I kinda wanted to like the idea of a bearded robot, but the mechas are super busy and overdesigned. I guess there's only so much you can do to make your next series of toys bigger and better, so these guys are all decked out in gold accents, capes, horns, and antlers, and half the time I couldn't parse what I was seeing.

I'm so glad I don't have to watch any more of this.

Who It's For

Very, *very* young mecha fans.

Borscht Rating

Seven Knights Revolution: Hero Successor

Show Link

The Lowdown

Long ago, the Dark God Nestra ruled the world through fear. Standing against him were the Seven Knights, seven brave warriors chosen by the Light Goddess Serrass. With their powers combined, Nestra was defeated and the lands returned to peace. Hundreds of years later the wicked Physis Cult seeks to revive Nestra, summoning undead beasts to ravage the countryside. With the Seven Knights long dead, the Granseed Academy has risen to train the next wave of heroes to combat this threat. Using special cards, the students of Granseed are able to call upon the power of the Seven Knights to guide them in battle.

Our Thoughts

As soon as the opening started with its transforming heroes and lovingly depicted weapon cards, I realised this must be based on a mobile game. Indeed, this is based on a free-to-play gacha from Korean developer Netmarble. Even before I was able to confirm this, Hero Successor failed to draw me in, eschewing details on the nature of its world in lieu of a glamourised marketing push for its source material. What's here is incredibly slight, and likely to be of little interest to anyone who isn't deep into this game.

Who It's For

Seven Knights whales, I guess.

Borscht Rating

Those Snow White Notes

Show Link

The Lowdown

Sawamura Setsu mourns the death of his grandfather Matsugorou, a talented shamisen player who refused to pass his secrets on. Not knowing what else to do, he leaves his remote village for Tokyo, taking nothing but his shamisen along with him. Soon he finds himself wrapped up in the complicated life of aspiring actress Yuna and her scuzzy rockstar boyfriend Taketo. When Setsu opens for Taketo's band, he stuns the audience with the raw emotion of his playing. However, his heart is still tumultuous.

Our Thoughts

An entertaining first episode of a speciality music series, which is the kind of thing I have a place in my heart for. I couldn't shake the feeling of some latent misogyny that suggested the role of a woman is to inspire a tortured artist, but I might be wrong. The final few minutes take a twist by introducing Setsu's weird, horny mother who seems to have her own personal SWAT team, and it looks like the series becomes a more conventional high school anime from episode 2 onwards. Don't know about that!

Who It's For

Fans of Kids on the Slope, Sound of the Sky.

Borscht Rating

Tokyo Revengers

Show Link

The Lowdown

Former delinquent Takemichi is unsatisfied with the way his life turned out, living alone in a paper-thin apartment and working a minimum wage job under a boss who doesn't respect him. When watching the news one evening, he learns that his highschool sweetheart Hinata was killed, alongside her little brother. On the way to work the next morning, Takemichi falls in front of an oncoming train and wakes up 12 years in the past. Armed with foreknowledge, he attempts to turn his life around and save his onetime lover.

Our Thoughts

This is drawing from a lot of sources; the whole train sequence is lifted straight from Gantz, while the story itself initially seems like a Life on Mars kind of deal. In fact, Tokyo Revengers sees Takemichi jump back and forth between the present and the past, seemingly making small changes until he achieves his desired outcome. It feels like a very video gamey depiction of time travel, and one that's not super interesting.

Who It's For

Steins;Gate fans, maybe? Delinquent manga (Shonan Junai Gumi, Crows, etc.) fans, maybe? It's pretty self-serious compared to any of those.

Borscht Rating

To Your Eternity

Show Link

The Lowdown

An immortal being in the form of an orb falls to earth and becomes a stone. Years pass, an ice age sets in, and a white wolf stumbles onto the tundra and dies. The orb, able to take the form of anything that leaves a strong impression on it, transforms into the wolf and slowly learns how to use its newfound ambulatory body. The creature treks back through the tundra where it meets a boy living alone, after the rest of his village left in search of a better life. The boy recognises the wolf as his beloved pet, Johann, and the two begin living together in the harsh, lonely wastes.

Our Thoughts

I'm being a little coy with the synopsis here, and there's a major shake-up at the end of this debut episode. This one's based on a manga by the critically acclaimed Yoshitoki Ooima (A Silent Voice), and it's a depressing, compelling, and exciting start to a series. Lots of potential here!

Who It's For

Fans of NieR, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon, Last Exile, Kino's Journey.

Borscht Rating

So, there you have it. I'm hoping this will be of use to anyone who experiences a similar sense of dread when faced with so many choices. Maybe we’ll do this again during the Summer 2021 anime season.

Also, please don't get mad at me if I'm snarky about your new favourite show! It’s just TV and I'm a big idiot anyway.

39 notes · View notes

elle-smells · 4 years ago

Note

I’ll give you four characters peter simmonds, kevin keller, joana bianchi and me :D

And I'll give you 3 hc for each of them 😌

Peter Simmonds (my beloved):

1) Role of a Lifetime? Yeah that's his prayer to God every night. So he talks to god and tries to open up to him about how he feels. It's always the same, the words end up being the song Role of a Lifetime

2) on a more happy note, He really likes to experiment with gender expression. Once he's out of St. Cecilia's he tries lots of different, femme, masc, anything, styles as a way to find how to be comfortable in his own skin. Who knows, he might even adopt he/they pronouns.

3) him and Nadia are college roommates <3 it worked out great for both of them, getting away and having a support system. By the end of their 4 years of college they were closer than ever before

Joana Bianchi (wifey):

1) the next coloured streaks she'll put in her hair are gonna be, deep purple, just bleached, and platinum/grey/silver, before going full dark mode with curtain bangs

2) She'll get lost easily. Why? Bcs she's always listening to something on her headphones and will end up zoning out. Before she know sit she's walked all the way across the city, opposite to where she was headed <3

3) Her and Cris move in together at some point and they decide to get a fish. No fish has ever been loved more. Seriously, they make an IG account for that lil animal. It's Joana's baby though, she just thinks fish are underappreciated as pets in general and loves theirs to death.

Kevin Keller:

No ❤️ ksjshds ok fine 1) He ends joining the local circus' twink show 2) at some point in his 30s he decides he'll try to make it Broadway one last time 3) his show fails withing a week and then eventually meets the love of his life at the final stage door and happily ever after or whatever <3

Miss Carmen aka Riverfail mutual aka american aka future roadtrip buddy:

1) I heard Carmen's cat is gonna take over the world one day and I totally believe that. Don't know how she'll do it but when she does no one will hear the end of it #queenwendi

2) Her soulmate is this girl in South America I think maybe not sure 🤔

3) Her basement is actually haunted. But not évil haunted. It's fun haunted by the ghosts of two lesbians who just chill all day and feed off of Carmen's homosexual vibes <3

Send character and I'll give you 3 hc

#this was so much fun thank u ksndbdnsk #sarmen 🔥💍

10 notes · View notes

thearvariblues · 5 years ago

Text

The Bard and The Wolf - Chapter Three

(AKA Geraskier in the Metal Band AU you didn’t know you needed)

Just to catch you all up before I post the next chapter. In this one, Jaskier gets drunk and does something incredibly stupid. You go, Jaskier!

You can also fins this fic on AO3 if you want.

The masterpost for this fic can be found HERE

3 – When a Humble Bard...

It was a bad idea to check the comments before the rehearsal ended. It was a bad idea to check the comments at all, as he realized the moment he did it.

“Oh, cock,” he muttered, staring at the little screen. “Well. I know I said it was gonna be a shitstorm… but this is even worse than I expected.”

Renfri raised her head from her guitar and Geralt stopped fidgeting with his microphone. “What is it?” the man asked and turned his impossible amber eyes to Jaskier.

“Oh, nothing. The jury is in,” Jaskier smirked. “Apparently I’m just a common twink who’s forced Yennefer out of the band, slept my way in, and I’m not even worthy of licking her boots, let alone taking her place. And that’s one of the kinder comments.”

He blinked. He won’t cry, he just won’t. He knew it was going to be hard, that Kaer Morhen’s usual audience wouldn’t exactly welcome him with open arms, but… This was really bad. Really fucking bad.

He sighed and shook his head.

“Right. I suppose that’s it, then. It was a nice experiment, but you should probably find a… female singer.”

“Give it to me,” Geralt growled and snatched Jaskier’s phone from his hand. “It can’t be that… Fuck.”

“Basically,” Jaskier sighed.

“Can I see?” Ciri asked.

“No way!” said Jaskier and Geralt in unison.

“Oh, hell,” Renfri muttered, taking a look at her own phone. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how you spell fairy… And who the hell even uses the word fairy anymore?!”

“Our fans, obviously,” Lambert muttered, looking over Renfri’s shoulder. “Jesus. They’re vicious. I mean… I don’t even want people like that to be our fans, does it make sense?”

“Geralt?” Eskel said, and all the eyes in the room turned to the white-haired singer who looked like he was about to crush Jaskier’s phone to pieces.

“I really didn’t want to do this,” he sighed. “But I guess there’s no avoiding it, right? Fine. Fine. I’m gonna call Yennefer. Tomorrow.”

Jaskier felt himself nodding, but it was as if the body belonged to someone else. He couldn’t believe what was happening – for the second time in a fucking week. And of course it was. This had been a crazy idea from the very start. But he allowed himself to believe that it would work out in the end, because he clicked so amazingly with the band…

“Jaskier,” he heard Geralt say to him. “Jask.”

He blinked and tried to focus.

“What?”

Did Geralt seriously just call him Jask?

“I’m not gonna call her to come back. You will leave this band over my dead body. But Yennefer is a PR expert, and it was her who took care of our social media,” Geralt sighed. “What? Did you think I would beg her to come back just because a bunch of assholes on Facebook want me to? Yeah, if someone’s only reason to come and see our band was an opportunity to stare at my ex-wife’s tits, well… good riddance.”

“My words,” Renfri nodded. “Don’t worry, buttercup. We’ll sort this out.”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure,” Jaskier sighed. “Would you… Would you mind if I… I’d really like to go home, if I could. I’m not in the mood for… Just not in the mood.”

“Jaskier,” Ciri said.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. But I’d like to be alone tonight, that’s all.”

“Sure,” Geralt nodded. “I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you the plan. Okay?”

“Right. Thanks,” Jaskier said and managed a tiny smile. “You’re a dear heart.”

He quickly started to pack his things, so no one would notice his trembling hands.

One hour and three glasses of gin and tonic later, he made a decision.

He sat up on his couch and tried to find a tiny voice of reason, the last remnants of his sobriety, just something that would stop him from doing what he was about to do – but to no avail.

His laptop was lying on the coffee table and he opened it and went to make more gin and tonic.

This was either an absolutely brilliant idea, or a truly terrible one.

Well, he was going to find out soon enough…

Geralt was having a really shitty morning. He couldn’t sleep at night. He was mad at their so-called fans for being so mean to Jaskier. (Seriously, how could they? Geralt knew Jaskier wasn’t exactly the type that screamed metal singer, but he was so sweet – being mean to him was like kicking a puppy, for fuck’s sake!) He was mad because thanks to them, he would now have to call Yennefer – and he’d promised himself that this time, he would stay away from her as much as possible.

He was mad at himself, because maybe he should have listened to the band and Ciri. Perhaps if he was in the photo with Jask…

“Geralt! Geralt!” yelled a voice, and then Renfri barged into the kitchen, holding a tablet in her hand. It startled Geralt so much that he dropped his coffee mug in his lap. Luckily, the coffee was already getting cold, but his morning got much shittier nevertheless.

“What is it?” he growled.

“Look what I’ve just found – and guess where? On our very own Facebook page, shared by us!”

“Great. But what is it?”

“For fuck’s sake, Geralt… It’s a video, can’t you see? From Youtube.”

“What video?” Geralt frowned.

“Jesus Christ, what have I done to you...” Renfri sighed and tapped on the screen.

The video started with Jaskier sitting on his couch, wearing the same black trousers, black T-shirt and vest he’d been wearing to the rehearsal the day before. His hair was all ruffled, his face was flushed and he was smiling stupidly.

He was so cute Geralt had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t smile himself.

“Hello, hello,” Jaskier said. “My dearest… Witchlings? Witchitas? Witch… Witcherlings! Yeah, that sounds great. Hello, my dearest Witcherlings. As you may have noticed, this is Jaskier, the brand new singer of your beloved Kaer Morhen.”

Idiot, Geralt thought. They already hate you, and you go and call them “Witcherlings”?

“You’re probably thinking: Christ, is he drunk?” Jaskier went on. “And no, I am not. I’m merely slightly tipsy. The important difference is that when you’re tipsy, you’re able to post stupid videos of you yourself, but when you’re drunk, you need other people to do it for you. But since I am indeed on my way to drunk, we should probably hurry this up a little. Cheers to you, my dears.”

Jaskier raised his glass full of some clear, sparkling liquid. Geralt had no idea what it was, but it definitely wasn’t water.

“Now,” Jaskier said, taking a sip from his glass. “I think we can start this with a little AMA session. Here on my… trusty phone, I have a few questions you guys have posted on our Facebook, and I’m going to try and answer them now. Question number one: Where did they even dig out this pretentious twink? Well, I could object to being called a twink, since I’m definitely too old and tall and fat for that, but whatever. The answer is, they found me on the pavement outside their rehearsal room. I mean, I was standing there, I was having a shitty day, Geralt and Renfri saw me, invited me in for a drink, I played a few funny songs for the band and Geralt’s daughter Ciri, and then I went home. The next thing I know, Geralt calls me that they’re looking for a new singer, and they want the singer to be me. So, to sum it up… The pretentious not-twink is basically a stray they found on the street. Funny, eh?”

This time, Geralt didn’t even try to stop his smile.

“Question number two!” Jaskier announced. “Does this twink – holy shit, I really need to change my style, don’t I? – really think he can replace the sexiness that is Yennefer? Answer – no, I don’t. I could never fit in her dress. But I can buy my own dress if you insist. I’ll do it, if it makes you more comfortable. If you want to see some cleavage on stage, I mean, I can totally give you that!”

He pulled the neckline of his T-shirt a little lower to show more of his plentiful chest hair and Geralt could hear Renfri snort.

“Yeah, maybe not,” Jaskier muttered. “By the way, guys, I swear this is not some tiny, helpless animal I’ve taped to my chest, it’s, unfortunately, all me. Right, question number three. So you wanna tell me they kicked out our feminist queen Yennefer, only to fill her place with some half-brained male… Come on, guys, there’s so many more insults than twink! Be original! I mean, you could say twat, cock, moron, idiot, milksop… Be imaginative! But back to the question. As far as I know, Yennefer wasn’t kicked out, she wasn’t forced to leave, it was her decision, and hers alone. She left the band, she wasn’t interested in coming back, they needed a new singer.”

Jaskier shrugged and took a mouthful of his drink.

“I mean… Come on, I was as shocked as you are when Geralt called me they wanted… me. Because… Yeah. I’m not a gal, that much is obvious. In fact, I was convinced that it was just a stupid joke, but no. And truth is, I guess we just… We just clicked. With the band, I mean. They’re dear hearts, all of them. Eskel, he’s a great guy, a great musician. Lambert, he’s… Yeah, Lambert’s a dick, but a dick you can’t help but like, you know? Renfri, oh, my dear darling Renfri. She’s a total sweetheart, always supportive, and if you can trust what Geralt says, she’s one of the main reasons why I ended up being in the band. And Geralt? Oh, our grumpy wolf who mainly communicates in grunts. You can never be sure what he really thinks, but he took me with him to his D&D group, he didn’t kill me during the evening, and he even saved my poor little bard’s life! That means something, guys!”

Geralt grunted and rolled his eyes. Renfri chuckled.

“Right, where was I?” Jaskier frowned. “Oh, question number… was it four or five? Never mind. Guys, do you think Geralt’s gonna sleep with this little cocksucker – see, you can be more original with your insults! – as he did with Yennefer? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Just because I’m bisexual – yes, that’s right, I swing my lute both ways – and so is Geralt, we’re definitely gonna bang.”

“Oh dear God,” Renfri whispered as Geralt groaned and closed his eyes. “He’s just outed you.”

“Question number… The last question,” Jaskier continued. “Whose cock did he have to suck to even get in? Well, everyone in the band, of course. Renfri included. We’re all here for equal opportunities, right? But I might have done Geralt twice, I admit. Just to make absolutely sure I’d get in, you know?”

He winked at the camera and finished his drink.

“But let’s get real now, guys,” he sighed. “I get it that some of you… well, most of you aren’t sure about this whole… change. To be honest, I’m not completely convinced myself. We’ve only just started rehearsing, and we’ve got a gig next week and I’ve been freaking out ever since they told me about it! But I know I already love them all, I love playing with them, and I really want to try to make it work. So I’m only asking you to give me a chance to convince you that I’m good. That I really fit in with the band, even though I love bright colors and weird music and quirky accessories and I honestly don’t think Manowar are any good...”

“Do you think he knows you hate Manowar with a burning passion?” Renfri asked.

“Shut up,” Geralt growled.

“And I gotta tell you,” Jaskier went on. “This band is just awesome for my creativity. I swear that I haven’t been this inspired for months, maybe even years. I’m already working on a new song, and I’ve got those… snippets and bits of others lying all around, see?” He lifted a piece of paper with a few lines and a drawing of a wolf on it. “And you know what? I could play you that song I’m working on, what do you think? It’s inspired by that evening Geralt took me with him to his D&D group. Wait a second.”

He jumped up, knelt on the couch and bent over the backrest. His T-shirt rode up and Geralt could clearly see the hem of bright purple underwear poke out from underneath Jaskier’s pants. He heard Renfri snort once again.

Then Jaskier straightened and promptly sat back. Geralt expected him to hold a guitar, but boy, he was wrong.

“Yeah, it’s a lute,” Jaskier grinned. “And yeah, I can totally play it. And I’m gonna play you a song about the time my darling, innocent bard met the mighty White Wolf. I start alone, like this...”

He took a deep breath and began to sing.

“When a humble bard

Graced a ride along

With Geralt of Rivia

Along came this song

When the White Wolf fought

A silver tongued devil

His army of elves

At his hooves did they revel

They came after me

With masterful deceit

Broke down my lute

And they kicked in my teeth

While the devil's horns

Minced our tender meat

And so cried the Witcher...”

Jaskier opened the eyes he’d closed… When exactly? Geralt had no idea.

“And this is when Geralt joins in, with that mighty growl of his, going...” Jaskier scowled and changed his voice to a deep growl: “He can't be bleat!”

“That was good,” Renfri muttered. “If you ever piss us off–”

“Shut up.”

“And then,” Jaskier continued. “We sing the chorus together, and it goes like this…

Toss a coin to your Witcher

Oh, valley of plenty

Oh, valley of plenty, oh

Toss a coin to your Witcher

Oh, valley of plenty...”

Jaskier stopped playing then, and laughed.

“And that’s all I’ve got so far, I’m afraid. Consider this an exclusive preview, since you’re the very first people to hear this song. So far, I’ve only played it for the spider that lives above my fridge, and he’s even worse at giving his opinions than Geralt is. I really hope you liked this song and that I haven’t made you start hating me more than you already did. And since I’m out of my gin and tonic, let’s wrap this up, so I can go and make more. Farewell, my dearest Witcherlings. I love you all.”

Geralt kept staring at the screen for quite a few seconds after the video had ended. He would have kept staring for much longer, but Renfri decided to whistle right next to his ear.

“Wow,” she said. “That was… something.”

“Yes. Something,” Geralt muttered. “Gods above.”

“Any idea how it got posted to our page?” Renfri asked.

“I thought it was your doing,” Geralt frowned. “But no, it doesn’t make sense. You were as surprised as I was.”

“Definitely wasn’t Eskel,” Renfri continued. “He’s got trouble switching his smartphone on.”

“Lambert could have done it.”

“He would have called you first, dying of laughter.”

“Well, that only leaves… Fuck,” Geralt muttered, rising to his feet. “Cirilla! Cirilla, get up and get your ass over here, now!”

Jaskier was having quite a lovely dream. He was running through a meadow full of wildflowers, laughing, singing, the birds were chirping and bees were buzzing around him…

He scowled and scrunched up his nose.

No, it wasn’t the buzzing of the bees, it was something… something else…

He raised his head from the pillow and moaned. An angry dwarf was busily banging the inside of his skull with a tiny hammer. The room was spinning around him. And the buzzing just wouldn’t stop…

“Aw, cock,” he muttered, blindly reaching for his phone. That, that was the source of the irritating sound. He grabbed it and cracked one eye open.

Geralt. Oh, no. The video. Oh, fucking hell, no...

The phone stopped vibrating, but started again in a few seconds.

Jaskier took a deep breath and answered it.

“Hello,” he said, desperately trying to sound cheerful and not like he was about to throw up any second. “How is my favorite white wolf doing today?”

“Your favorite white wolf sincerely hopes you’ve got the worst hangover of your life, and if you happened to die from it, I wouldn’t object.”

“Ah,” Jaskier said.

“If you mean Ah, so you’ve seen it then, the answer is yes, I have.”

“Look, Geralt, I can explain...”

“Explain why you didn’t wait for me to contact Yennefer to sort this mess for us? Explain why did you send the link to the video to my daughter to share it for you?”

“Oh, I hope you weren’t mean to Ciri. She only did it because she loves me so much. And she thought it was funny.”

“I wasn’t mean to her, I’m saving that for you. By the way, do you realize you outed me?”

“I what?!” Jaskier yelled and sat up. Which was a mistake, as his stomach immediately betrayed him. He dropped his phone and sprinted to the bathroom.

“Jaskier?” Geralt said to the phone, but from the other side, he heard nothing but silence. “Jask!”

“What happened?” Renfri frowned.

“I think he may have died for real,” Geralt muttered. “Jask?”

“He’s probably just hugging the toilet very tight,” Renfri chuckled.

“He sounded like shit. I should go and check if he’s alright.”

“I think he’ll live, Geralt. He may wish he didn’t, but he will.”

“It won’t do the band any good if one of your singers dies of alcohol poisoning,” Ciri said.

“Nah. He would have already been dead,” Renfri replied.

“I’ll go and check on him,” Geralt sighed. “Ciri’s right. He’s an idiot, something could happen to him.”

“I didn’t say he was an idiot...”

“And how do you even know where he lives?” Renfri asked.

“I dropped him off after D&D. Stop it with the eyebrows, Renfri! I know the building he lives in. I have no idea what his real name is, so–”

“Pankratz,” Ciri peeped. “Julian Pankratz.”

“I’m not gonna ask how you know that,” Geralt sighed. “But thanks.”

“I could go with you,” Ciri offered.

“No way in hell, Cirilla. Renfri, will you take care of her while I’m away?”

“Yeah, sure,” Renfri shrugged.

“Excuse me, I don’t need anyone to–”

“And remember, no phone and no computer, Cirilla. I’ll be back as soon as I make sure the idiot’s gonna survive.”

“Don’t forget to change your pants!” Renfri called. “You wouldn’t want him to see you with your lap full of coffee stains!”

Geralt grunted and strode out of the living room in a way that made Renfri almost feel sorry for Jaskier.

Yeah… almost.

“Well, that was that,” Renfri smirked. “What do the comments say, by the way?”

Continue with Chapter Four

#witcher fic #witcher fanfiction #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #geraskier fic #my fics #the bard and the wolf

8 notes · View notes

recentnews18-blog · 6 years ago

Photo

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/30-movies-worth-watching-in-seattle-this-weekend-nov-15-18-2018/

30 Movies Worth Watching in Seattle This Weekend: Nov 15-18, 2018

Widows is a damn fun thriller from an artsy director.

You’ve got many options for movie thrills this weekend, from Steve McQueen’s spectacularly cast Widows to the creepy/comedic classic Beetlejuice. For artsier fare, don’t miss Frederick Wiseman’s new documentary on small-town America, Monrovia, Indiana. Follow the links below to see complete showtimes, tickets, and trailers for all of our critics’ picks, and, if you’re looking for even more options, check out our film events calendar and complete movie times listings.

Stay in the know! Get all this and more on the free Stranger Things To Do mobile app (available for iOS and Android), or delivered to your inbox.

Beautiful Boy I’ve never been a parent or a junkie (yet!), but I found a lot that resonated in Beautiful Boy, a low-key film based on a pair of interconnected memoirs from father and son David and Nicolas Sheff. David (Steve Carell) chews himself up over son Nic’s (Timothée Chalamet) spiral into meth and heroin addiction, asking what he could have done to prevent it and wondering how he can fix it. Nic, meanwhile, copes with not only his body’s betrayal but with the disappointment he feels, both self-directed and from his patient, confused father. From Beautiful Boy’s perspective, Nic is really only guilty of having a curious mind, while David, a good father in every recognizable way, might have simply waited too long to show his beloved son some tough love. The performances make the whole thing sing. Carell and Chalamet both do expectedly good work, and they’re matched by Amy Ryan as Nic’s mother and Maura Tierney as his stepmother. Beautiful Boy is driven by the real-life horror of watching a loved one succumb to drugs, but it’s a family drama devoid of most of the genre’s manipulative qualities, substituting them with honesty, empathy, and fully drawn human beings. NED LANNAMANN Meridian 16 (Regal) & Oak Tree

Beetlejuice Newly dead Adam and Barbara Maitland aren’t down with the Deets family, who moved into the couple’s home after their unfortunate passing and don’t seem at all phased by the Maitlands’ attempts at scaring them out of it. Enter rotten, pervy Betelgeuse (“Beetlejuice”), who sells himself as a bio-exorcist capable of getting rid of their living pests, though he turns out to be a dangerous nuisance who’s more trouble than he’s worth. Tim Burton’s first film (and my first Tim Burton film, too) is on-point with vibrantly weird visuals, quick-witted comedy, and strong before-they-were-big-stars performances from (goddamn he looks young) Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis (extra dimply, woman-next-door funny), a teenage gothed-out Winona Ryder, and Michael Keaton at his comedic one-liner-throwing best—like, has he ever been this good? It’s bizarre yet delightful and still tons of fun three decades later. Even the dated special effects retain their charm. LEILANI POLK Central Cinema Friday–Sunday

Bohemian Rhapsody I heart Queen. The song this film is named for was on the soundtrack of my youth. But early reactions to the film biopic (that’s more about Freddie Mercury than the British rock band he led) have been mixed to bad. The New York Times’ Kyle Buchanan tweeted that Bohemian Rhapsody “is a glorified Wikipedia entry but Rami Malek plays Freddie Mercury (and wears his wonderful costumes) with incredible gusto.” Our own Chase Burns was not a fan at all. (“The 15-minute long shit I took during the middle of the movie was more nuanced than the straight-washed hagiography peddled in that movie theater.”) In sum, enter at your own risk. LEILANI POLK Various locations

Boy Erased This film features the most prolific twinks of our time: Troye Sivan, Lucas Hedges, and Nicole Kidman. These three gays will dazzle the screen in this year’s most star-studded gay flick—oh wait, Troye Sivan is the only gay among them. Lucas Hedges has said he’s “not totally straight, but also not gay and not necessarily bisexual,” and Nicole Kidman, despite being the world’s most famous twink, is surprisingly a 51-year-old Australian woman. While think pieces on Hedges’s sexuality will probably dominate the conversation around Boy Erased, it looks like a cute holiday movie about gay conversion therapy. Go see it! CHASE BURNS SIFF Cinema Uptown & Meridian 16

Can You Ever Forgive Me? In Can You Ever Forgive Me?, Melissa McCarthy stars as real-life best-selling biographer Lee Israel. But this isn’t a life of literary glitz and glamour that you’re imagining after such a juicy introductory sentence! After falling on hard biographer times, Israel turned to a life of writerly crimes, forging letters from long-dead authors to make just enough cash to pay her rent, take her cat to the vet, and aggressively drink. This all sounds sad, I know, but there’s warmth underneath, thanks to Israel’s friendship with the charming, equally self-destructive Jack Hock (Richard E. Grant). McCarthy, who’s made a career of portraying loud women, is a different kind of jerk here—a real person who lashes out not for laughs, but because life is hard and she knows she’s making bad choices. ELINOR JONES SIFF Cinema Egyptian & AMC Seattle 10

Cinema Italian Style The Cinema Italian Style is a weeklong SIFF mini-festival featuring the best in contemporary Italian cinema. This final day, watch Euphoria, about two very different brothers who come together in difficult circumstances. SIFF Cinema Uptown Thursday only

Dr. Seuss’s The Grinch If you’ve ever wondered how the jammy vocals of Benedict Cumberbatch would sound coming from a neon-green Seussian monstrosity, you have your chance in this visit to Whoville. This time, the Grinch has a doggy sidekick named Max. Angela Lansbury voices the Mayor and Rashida Jones does Donna Lou Who. Various locations

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald Twee hunter Newt Scamander returns for more J.K. Rowling-inspired exploits. Of the previous Fantastic Beasts film, critic Bobby Roberts wrote: “It is eager to please and amaze, but undersells its spectacle until that spectacle becomes perfunctory. It milks sentiment drier than the Arizona desert Newt’s trying to get to. It’s a goofy blast of kid-lit in love with Looney Tunes-inspired adventure—except when it’s a sour metaphor for child abuse and intolerance that owes one hell of a debt to Stephen King’s famous prom queen.” The new one has Johnny Depp as the titular dark wizard. Various locations

First Man The space stuff is great. When La La Land director Damien Chazelle’s biopic about Neil Armstrong focuses on NASA’s insanely ambitious and dangerous plan to put a man on the moon, it thrums with thrill and threat—from the astonishing scope of space to the claustrophobic confines of the command module, the best parts of First Man are worth experiencing on the biggest screen possible. Ryan Gosling offers an excellent turn as Armstrong, but even Gosling can’t liven up the story’s more pedestrian elements, which largely involve Armstrong’s relationship with his wife (Claire Foy) and his stoic mourning of his daughter. First Man bears the familiar curse of the biopic—it somehow feels both overlong and unsatisfying—and never quite escapes the shadow of The Right Stuff, Philip Kaufman’s remarkable 1983 film that told a similar story with more grace and smarts. Still: the space stuff is great. ERIK HENRIKSEN Meridian 16 & AMC Pacific Place

Free Solo This highly praised, dizzying documentary reveals the heart-stopping journey of Alex Honnold as he conquered Yosemite’s El Capitan wall without ropes or safety gear. You don’t need to be a climber to be thrilled at this glimpse into human accomplishment. Various locations

Hep Cats Cats in movies have symbolized everything from elegance to curiosity to evil, but sometimes they are simply their wonderful selves. Hep Cats delivers a handful of these ailurophilic flicks, like Harry and Tonto, a charming road movie about a man and his cat forced to leave their Upper West Side apartment. It stars Art Carney, who won an Oscar for the role. JOULE ZELMAN Northwest Film Forum Saturday only

HUMP! Film Festival The 14th Annual HUMP! Film Festival, the world’s biggest and best porn short film festival, premiers in Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco this November! After the opening festival concludes its run, HUMP! will hit the road in 2019 and screen in more than 50 cities across the U.S. and Canada. HUMP! invites filmmakers, animators, songwriters, porn-star wannabes, kinksters, vanilla folks, YOU, and other creative types to make short porn films—five minutes max—for HUMP! The HUMP! Film Festival screens in theaters and nothing is ever released online. HUMP! films can be hardcore, softcore, live action, animated, kinky, vanilla, straight, gay, lez, bi, trans, genderqueer—anything goes at HUMP! (Well, almost anything: No poop, no animals, no minors, no MAGA hats.) DAN SAVAGE On the Boards

Meow Wolf The adorably named Santa Fe artist collective Meow Wolf caught the fancy of George R.R. Martin, who helped them take over a disused bowling alley for an epic art exhibition. But success comes with its own struggles. Enter their world and find delirious, DIY inspiration. Northwest Film Forum Thursday only

Mid90s Mid90s tells the story of 13-year-old Stevie (Sunny Suljic) who, after he’s rejected and bullied by his older brother Ian (Lucas Hedges), finds new role models in a crew of skaters led by the wise and magnanimous Ray (Na-kel Smith). Stevie’s willingness to repeatedly fall on hard concrete as he tries to maneuver a skateboard that looks half his height endears him to his newfound friends. The resultant feelings—and the film’s title—places Mid90s squarely in Hill’s nostalgic memory, where he both dramatizes and idealizes the kids’ adventures. SUZETTE SMITH Various locations

Monrovia, Illinois The amazingly prolific documentarian Frederick Wiseman (Ex Libris, In Jackson Heights, National Gallery, and 40 more films!) explores a tiny American hamlet steeped in old farming traditions and periodic ceremonies, like church services, Town Council meetings, Freemason rituals, weddings, and funerals. Northwest Film Forum Friday–Sunday

Mystery Train Exactly one year ago, I was walking down a street in Memphis, Tennessee, when I had what is known as a Proustian experience (or what literary critics call an “involuntary memory”). But in Proust’s novel Remembrance of Things Past, the involuntary memory sends the narrator, Marcel, to a town he visited as a boy (Combray). My memory, which was triggered by crossing a street, sent me to a film, Jim Jarmusch’s Mystery Train, which is set in Memphis and concerns young Japanese lovers who are obsessed with American popular culture. The couple walks around Memphis a lot. And while I walked around Memphis, I found myself walking, not through my Memphis, but theirs. This movie does not have much of a plot. CHARLES MUDEDE Grand Illusion Thursday only

Narcissister Organ Player The feminist body-shocker Narcissister, who carries out her performance art mostly naked and masked, muses on her Moroccan, Jewish, and African American roots and her intense relationship with her mother in this absurdist, experimental documentary. Northwest Film Forum

Night Heat They proliferated in anxious postwar America and still occasionally return to brood and smolder onscreen: films noirs, born of the chiaroscuro influence of immigrant German directors and the pressure of unique American fears. Once again, the museum will screen nine hard-boiled, moody crime classics like this week’s Night of the Hunter, one of the most unusual and thrilling films ever to come out of Hollywood. The veteran actor Charles Laughton took inspiration from the stylistic extremity of German Expressionism to film this hallucinatory tale of a psychotic preacher pursuing two young children who know he’s murdered their mother. Clear your Thursday night schedule for this one. Seattle Art Museum Thursday only

Night on Earth Five cabbies and five passengers around the globe share funny, weird, and intimate moments in Jim Jarmusch’s quirky classic—a little inconsequential, but charming and beautifully acted. Thanks to Roberto Benigni’s performance, you’ll never look at a pumpkin quite the same way again. Grand Illusion Thursday only

The Old Man and the Gun Based on a true story, the latest from David Lowery (Ain’t Them Bodies Saints) reteams the filmmaker with Robert Redford, who plays Forrest Tucker, the charming, handsome leader of a trio of geriatric bank robbers. Forrest’s partners in crime are Teddy (Danny Glover) and Waller (a fantastic Tom Waits). Like one of Forrest’s disarmingly polite robberies, The Old Man and the Gun starts out pleasant and sweet before revealing hints of darkness—each of these characters is deeper than they first appear, and one’s never quite sure what any of them are going to do next. Lowery is happy to tag along, capturing lives that are polished by time and dented by experience but remain bright and sharp with wit and passion. Watching Redford have this much fun is, as always, a goddamn delight. ERIK HENRIKSEN Admiral Theater

Overlord While carrying out a vital pre-D-Day mission, a ragtag bunch of American Dogfaces stumble across a small French village that’s just packed to the rafters with secret Gestapo experiments. (Note: In what may be a controversial move in this day and age, the Nazis are unequivocally depicted as the Bad Guys.) Genre mashups are often content to rest on their high-concept laurels, but this J.J. Abrams production is very willing to do the grunt work, solidly establishing its war movie bonafides—an early paratrooper sequence is genuinely alarming—before transitioning into full-tilt body horror. (This is an extremely moist movie.) If this sounds even remotely like your sort of thing, Overlord’s combination of heavy artillery and horrid creatures should prove to be pretty irresistible. When it comes to B-Movies, nasty, brutish, and short all count as positive traits. ANDREW WRIGHT Various locations

Ponyo You can pretty much guarantee that anything with Hayao Miyazaki’s name attached to it will be superbly wrought, fantastically animated, and delivered with a fine dose of poignant storytelling. He has left a fine legacy of films in his (no longer retired, for now) wake, including Ponyo, which has its 10-year anniversary this year and is being celebrated in a series of screening events across the country. This anime fantasy is loosely based on The Little Mermaid (Hans Christian Andersen’s version, not Disney’s), about an austere, potentially malevolent warlock/sea king whose young amphibious daughter runs (swims) away from her home. Sosuke, the little boy who scoops her from the waves, believes she’s a goldfish, names her Ponyo, and introduces her to a small slice of his world before her father finds her and brings her back to their underwater kingdom. But Ponyo’s taste of food and friendship fuels her next escape, setting off a chain of events that will change her (and Sosuke) forever. This film gets me choked up every time. LEILANI POLK SIFF Cinema Egyptian Saturday only

Prospect Is this the first major work of Northwest science fiction? Indeed, it imagines a moon that is like the evergreen forests that surround Seattle. The whole planet is green—gothic green. And the light on this strange moon is sharply slanted like Northwest light. The superb film is about prospectors (a father and daughter) looking for a root-made gem that will make them rich. The daughter, however, is keen to get off the planet because the line to it is about to be shut down. But her father is money-mad. If he does not make it here, he will never make it anywhere in the galaxy. Translucent insects float through the air. There are other money-mad prospectors in the endless forest. You do not leave this planet without paying a big price. Money is the root of all evil. CHARLES MUDEDE Meridian 16

Sadie The latest from local filmmaker Megan Griffiths (Lucky Them, Eden) has a perfect Northwest feel. Sadie is 13 and lives with her mother in a dilapidated trailer park. Sadie worships her absent father while being impossible with her harried mother. She is smart and precocious, trying to come to an understanding of how the world works, but the adults around her have their own problems. The film shows the way adults communicate with kids, never talking to them directly, trying to fool the kid and themselves. This leaves young people with half-ass ideas, and they run with them without really understanding the situation, with mixed results. The film has a great cast: The wonderful Melanie Lynskey plays the mom, with Sophia Mitri Schloss as Sadie. GILLIAN ANDERSON SIFF Cinema Uptown Sunday only

Seattle Turkish Film Festival The Turkish American Cultural Association of Washington will present the sixth annual edition of their community-driven, volunteer-led festival featuring a rich panorama of new Turkish films. For the final weekend, check out Something Useful, an intense drama about two women, one of whom has a grim mission, who meet on the train; The Legend of the Ugly King, about the Kurdish actor/director Yilmaz Güney; and Taksim Hold’em, about a man determined to play his weekly poker game despite the massive anti-government protests taking place outside. SIFF Film Center Friday–Saturday

SHRIEK!: Thirst The class focusing on women and minorities in horror is back with a screening and discussion of Park Chan-wook’s Thirst, about a saintly Catholic priest transformed into an insatiable blood-drinker and sex fiend by a risky medical experiment. Here’s an excerpt from the review Lindy West wrote at its release: “Thirst is a horror movie, albeit a silly one. Actual scares are few to none—instead, Sang-hyun’s painfully earnest consternation at trying to live as an ethical monster (losing his priestly virginity, daintily sipping a comatose man’s blood straight from the IV) make it a funny, cartoonish, and strangely sweet fable about ethics versus instincts: ‘Is it a sin for a fox to eat a chicken?’ Unfortunately, Thirst drags on for a punishing gazillion hours—ethical monster shacks up with manipulative harpy and the complications pile up like bodies (because, you know, they literally are bodies)—and you feel like you’ll never see your home or your mom or the precious golden sun again.” It might not be the most positive of reviews, but you’re guaranteed to get a good discussion out of it with organizers Evan J. Peterson and Heather Marie Bartels. Naked City Brewery Sunday only

Suspiria Call Me by Your Name director Luca Guadagnino’s reinterpretation of Argento’s film Suspiria is a precisely choreographed mindfuck, and progressing through the film’s six acts feels like peeling off layers of an onion until you reach the reeking core. It’s swift, brutal, and breathtaking, but it’s also frequently bogged down by overcomplicated subplots and distracting details. The original premise remains the same—ancient ballerina witches trying to live forever by sacrificing students—but this time around, the Markos Dance Academy is located right next to the Berlin Wall in post-World War II Germany, and Susie Bannion (a very meh Dakota Johnson) is a runaway Mennonite from Ohio. Whatever parallels Guadagnino hoped to draw between the traumatic aftermath of the Holocaust and the bloody chaos going on inside the coven ends up feeling more confusing than profound. CIARA DOLAN AMC Pacific Place & SIFF Cinema Uptown

A Star Is Born If you’re entering the theatre simply desiring a couple solid musical numbers, then your $15 will not have been spent in vain. Unfortunately, the movie falls flat as only a two-dimensional vignette of common misogyny can. Ally, the lead character played by Lady Gaga, is a woman who knows she has talent but needs to hear that she is sufficiently pretty to be an appropriate vehicle for said talent. Like any woman vying for a piece of the proverbial pie, she is just one man away from success. One man to lead her, to mold her, to push her through to the finish line. This man-shaped void is filled by her father, her husband, her manager, her producer, her choreographer, and her photographer, all of whom take credit or receive credit from other men for her creative output and appearance. A Star Is Born is a classic tale, meant to be mutable, fluid, to adapt within each age it is reimagined. But the flaws of the inherent narrative are too real, too every-day damaging to continue being told in the form of a cinematic fantasy. KIM SELLING Various locations

Voyeur Presents ‘The Prowler’ The November edition of VOYEUR brings “one of the bleakest noirs ever made,” Joseph Losey’s The Prowler, about a man who’s determined to get what he feels society owes him—an unhappily married woman played by Evelyn Keyes. Scarecrow Sunday only

Widows Arriving a week before Thanksgiving, Widows is an overflowing plateful of entertainment, piled high with juicy plot, buttery performances, and plenty of sweet genre pie. It’s a mash-up of pulp and prestige that shouldn’t work well on paper but plays out tremendously well on-screen. Director Steve McQueen (12 Years a Slave, Shame) cowrote the twisty script with novelist Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl, Sharp Objects), and while the interconnected webs of Chicago’s crime underworld and its racially charged local politics contain more than enough intrigue, the performances are what’ll grab you. I mean, just look at this cast: Harry (Liam Neeson) leads a crew of career criminals (including Jon Bernthal and Manuel Garcia-Rulfo) in a heist that goes disastrously wrong, leaving their widows Veronica (Viola Davis), Linda (Michelle Rodriguez), and Alice (Elizabeth Debicki) with a serious problem when crime boss Jamal Manning (Brian Tyree Henry) and his enforcer brother Jatemme (Daniel Kaluuya) demand they return the stolen money. The real fun is watching McQueen, Flynn, and this ridiculously large talent pool of actors lay the groundwork for a slick, rich, tantalizing thriller, and then connecting all the dots. NED LANNAMANN Various locations

Also Playing: Our critics don’t recommend these movies, but you might like to know about them anyway.

The Girl in the Spider’s Web

Instant Family

Nobody’s Fool

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

Venom

Stay in the know! Get all this and more on the free Stranger Things To Do mobile app (available for iOS and Android), or delivered to your inbox.

Source: https://www.thestranger.com/things-to-do/2018/11/15/35633515/30-movies-worth-watching-in-seattle-this-weekend-nov-15-18-2018

0 notes