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ak4e7a · 1 month ago

Text

sweet disposition – psh

notes: high school au, slice of life, scifi, jay lives to torment sunghoon, angst, hurt, comfort, i learned quantum mechanics to write this, also the first draft of this got me into grad school so #slay i guess

wc: 10.7k

cw: mentions of violence, SA, su1c1de attempt (not actually, it's a metaphor), parent trauma

trailer: you were always stuck in your ways. what happens when you decide to change out of love for someone else?

starring: park sunghoon, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, and aespa karina (yu jimin)

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿˚₊

“just desserts” arc — episodes 1-4

You never liked your name. You thought it didn’t suit you.

After all, it was supposed to mean something like “sound of the heavens”, and you hadn’t spoken in three years. It wasn’t like you were mute or anything. You just didn’t have anything to say to anyone. Like, ever.

Yu Jimin was the closest thing you had to a friend, often acting as a translator between you and the rest of your classmates. You got along well with Jimin because most things she asked would be in the form of a yes or no question, and if she wanted more, it only took one look into your eyes to get an elaborate answer. And you were glad Jimin wasn’t pushy when it came to the subject of your intentional silence.

“I heard they’re playing ‘Silent Penalty’ next week! Those boys are crazy, don’t you think so? Especially Jaeyun and Jongseong,” Jimin cried, clutching her textbooks to her chest with her free arm. You were on your way to your family's cafe, where you worked part-time—Jimin as a waitress, you in the kitchen (where you wouldn’t be bothered).

The month of April tinted the otherwise muted color palette of the outskirts of Shibuya in blushed hues. You always walked home together; the stories of the Hello Kitty murder and the Setagaya Family and the Junko Furuta case so deeply ingrained into their memories that neither of you would allow the other to go anywhere alone. You and Jimin even carried dainty pocket knives in their bags; these were mostly used to open boxes at work or cut slits into the packaging of snacks from the convenience store by your school. But it never hurt to be too safe, especially as teenage girls in a big city.

You nodded, the wind blowing through your high ponytail, tousling several strands out of place. Sometimes you took pity on your friend, wishing you could be better company to the girl who had not left your side since you first moved to Shibuya. You often wondered if you should just tell Jimin how much you appreciated her, and how you wouldn’t leave her unless Jimin explicitly told you to do so.

Tamago to chikai wa kudake-yasui, you thought to yourself as you continued to walk hand-in-hand. Why not just show her?

It wasn’t like you were a “bad” friend. You often helped Jimin with homework (you did it for her) and you were the one who taught her how to ride a bike. You prepared the best bentos, often shaping the onigiri to resemble the cats from Sailor Moon, and always brought an extra fruit jelly stick for Jimin, who would never fail to still be hungry after lunch.

You wondered if that was enough for Jimin. You supposed it was, since Jimin had never once complained… at least, to your face. But you also wondered how long that would last.

“But, I mean, their leader… he’s kinda cute,” Jimin trailed off. The boy in question was Heeseung, the quiet half of the Fox Club twins. Said “club” was known around Kokusai High School as a sometimes-rowdy, always-mischievous gang, whose members were all brilliant in their own right. “And I heard they’re looking for new members! We should try joining them! Even though… even though we’d be the only girls.”

You exhaled sharply, forcefully — your way of laughing with as little effort as possible. Sometimes, if you felt up to it, you would even treat Jimin to a smile. You followed the pebble you’d been kicking since you left Kokusai before stopping to pick it up and rub it clean with the hem of your sweater. Then you handed the polished stone to Jimin, who took it happily, saying she’d add it to her jar at home.

“I think joining them would be a good idea, even if we’d be the only girls… Maybe they’ll find a way to get you to talk again,” Jimin mumbled as you walked ahead of her.

Sometimes, you mused, Jimin would say things and forget that you weren’t deaf, just quiet. Extremely, deafeningly quiet.

“Oh! Did you see that new experiment on TV last night?” Jimin asked, catching up to you. “The one about the snails getting their memories erased.”

You raised your eyebrows, and Jimin continued recounting the details from the news report she watched with her dad.

“I bet they taste gross. Don’t know why people have tried eating them. But you could probably find some way to fix that, huh?” she chirped, opening the back door of the cafe. “Since you’re so good at cooking.

You looked up, turning to Jimin with a playful gleam dancing along the outer corners of your normally blunted affect. You shrugged, as if to say, maybe, but it’s anyone’s guess, and helped Jimin tie her pink apron up.

It was a slow afternoon, the usual customers trickling in one at a time like the dregs of a coffee machine after it’s finished brewing. You noticed that Jimin was especially chatty at the register today, and sighed to yourself as you refilled the almond flour jar slower than your grandmother would have liked. How you wished you could join in the conversation.

It was a shame you were still convinced they’d hear you, but no one would truly listen.

When you finished every random task you could think of doing, you peeked out of the little window between the kitchen and the front counter. Its position was perfect for you to watch the television above the customers’ seating area without being caught by whoever happened to be working the cashier shift.

The program on the television that afternoon was a replay of Yuzuru Hanyu’s record-breaking short routine in figure skating at the 2014 Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia. Yuzuru had since become one of Japan’s permanent darlings, on and off the ice.

You frowned. That could have been you, had you not torn your right Achilles tendon right before high school started; had you not disappointed your entire family in front of a national audience; had you not landed on your ankle on purpose, because you didn’t know how else to tell your mother that your coach had been touching you in the locker room ever since you put your first pair of skates on. It’s not like your mother would have believed you. She was dating him, after all.

Maybe you would have been an Olympian had you not done any of those things, because no one gave medals out for lying and saying everything was fine.

“Y/N-ie,” Jimin called. “Where’s the milk bread?”

There was no answer, but that was a given. Jimin turned around to find your attention fixed to the television, eyes following Yuzuru’s every movement. If you still spoke, you would have been excitedly calling out each triple Axel and Lutz jump as you saw them.

But no sound came out of you, aside from the slow, deep breaths you took.

Jimin immediately grabbed the remote and changed the channel.

You snapped out of your maladaptive daydreaming, picturing yourself on that podium, and went back into the kitchen without any hesitation, and the milk bread was out of the oven several minutes later.

“Hello!” Jimin said. That was odd, you thought. You were about to close for the night. Usually, in the time you’d been working there, this part of your shift went interrupted.

“Oh… Is halmeoni not here?” went the soft, low voice.

Why are they looking for Grandma?

“No, not today. She hasn’t been feeling well lately. Can I get you anything?”

You crept toward the little window again, peeking behind the vase of lavender flowers that sat on the left side of the shelf that ran along the bottom. You recognized the person speaking. He was wearing the Kosukai boys’ uniform: navy blue blazer, a white shirt, burgundy and mauve necktie, and navy trousers. He was quite tall, with full, messy, dark-brown-almost-black hair parted down the middle, framing his tired, upturned eyes.

He was one of the Fox boys—but not one of high ranking, to your knowledge.

“Oh… um…”

“I’ll give you a moment to decide what you want. Pardon me,” Jimin said sweetly, before walking into the kitchen. The sound of the door swinging open startled you, causing you to nearly knock an open sack of flour over. You ducked down under the window before the boy could spot you. Jimin laughed. “What are you doing? Are you spying?”

Pause.

“Do you know who he is?”

No, said your pursed lips. You grabbed a sheet of scrap paper and a pen from the pocket of your frilly black apron and scrawled something down quickly. Jimin took it from you.

I think that’s the boy Grandma told me about. The one she gives the unsold pastries to at the end of the day.

Jimin giggled. “Oh, no shit. He’s cute! But not as cute as Heeseung.”

You rolled your eyes at a specific tempo that Jimin perfectly recognized to mean shut up, he can probably hear you.

“Well, I’ll clean up here. You go give him the bread.”

And with that, she pushed you through the swinging door as if she were moving a stack of heavy crates.

It was times like these that you wished she still had the will to speak, so that you could scream at your friend in disbelief. Jimin sometimes liked to take advantage of the fact that you would only physically protest if she thought it was worth fighting about.

Your eyes softened when you looked at the boy, whose complexion had suddenly tinted the color of pickled plums. It was an uncanny look for someone who was seemingly so reserved and collected, from the times you’d seen him in passing.

“Oh. you ’re the granddaughter, right? Y/N? you ’re in class 3-A, right?” he said, his hands behind his back as he bowed. You nodded.

“I’m in 3-B… So it’s true, huh?”

Pause.

“You don’t talk?”

Another nod.

“You can call me Sunghoon. Nice to meet you,” he said, to which he received a decidedly polite nod. “Oh, yeah. I forgot. I guess you can call me that in your head. Are you the one who does all the baking? If you are, it’s really good.”

You smiled like your muscles weren’t used to the strain before heading to the display case, a brown paper bag in hand. You slid the metal door open and used a pair of tongs to transfer the baked goods into the bag, deftly maneuvering each piece so as to not crush anything. You tied the bag closed with a piece of white ribbon and handed it to him, not allowing yourself to linger on how his cheeks had not let up on their rosy hue.

Sunghoon offered to walk you and Jimin home, out of politeness (and genuine concern for your safety, he said). Jimin accepted before you could even so much as blink a strong no, thanks, and so he waited as the two of you finished closing the cafe before heading in the direction of your apartment building. You tried your best not to panic. Being around the opposite sex was not high up on your very short list of favorite situations.

“I’ve never had a conversation so one-sided and yet only mildly uncomfortable,” Sunghoon said, having since regaled you with some of the more tame stories about the Fox Club. He told you about the time the twins came to school dressed in the girls’ uniforms, when he and three other boys (Park Jonseong, Yang Jungwon, and Nishimura Riki) got into a fight on the train after catching someone nonconsensually taking an upskirt picture, and the famous incident in which more than half of the Foxes ended up in the swimming pool, still fully clothed. “Y/N could hate me for all I know.”

You scowled. He adjusted the strap of your bookbag on his shoulder, clearing his throat. “No, wait, that’s not what you think it means. I meant that because you don’t say anything, you can spend more time judging me.”

You gave him a variation of the same exhaled laugh you only reserved for Jimin, shaking your head. You could already tell Sunghoon was kind by the way he walked on the side closest to the road, and never pushed you to speak the way others tended to do.

“You aren’t?”

I am, but I don’t think poorly of you. It’s the opposite, really.

Jimin chuckled. “She has other things to do besides complain. Like be my best friend. Right, Y/N?”

You nodded.

Of course. you’re pretty much all I have left, and that makes me more pathetic than ever.

—

The next Friday, you took the challenger’s seat at the Fox Den’s lunch table, on an otherwise bleak, foggy afternoon.

The entire cafeteria was in shock. The aforementioned seat was more of a symbolic gesture than anything; the Foxes rarely, if ever, gained new members because of how rough their games could get. The reward, however, was respect, notoriety, and the unyielding loyalty of seven teenage boys.

“Alright, hold on,” Jaeyun, the outgoing one of the twins and de-facto second in command, interrupted as the other boys cheered and swooned over you. He ran a hand through his dyed pastel pink hair cooly, eyeing you in front of him; your posture indicated that you were not scared in the slightest.

You were everyone’s hallway crush, despite your cold exterior and refusal to even consider any confessions of their affection. Not one day could go by without you hearing usually-innocent comments about how pretty you were, garnering comparisons to different shoujo protagonists.

And to exacerbate those remarks, that week, you’d heard the boys giving Sunghoon shit after finding out he walked you and Jimin home; it was all they talked about in their free time since Monday morning, bombarding him with questions about what your voice sounded like and if there were really scars on your ankle and how you smelled.

Everyone froze, waiting for the next words. Jaeyun looked at you as if you were a particularly difficult sudoku puzzle. “You sure you want to do this? I won’t go easy on you just because you’re a girl.”

You nodded metronomically.

Jimin cried out a sharp “No!” before covering her mouth in what you thought was a mix of devastation and realization, tears pooling in her eyes like spring dewdrops on blades of grass. When her eyes locked with yours, the universe was put on hold for a moment. You wished you could hold her hand and say it out loud.

I’m doing this for you.

Beside Jaeyun, Park Jongseong, another one of your fellow third-years, brandished two long needles, previously wrapped in his white handkerchief. He towered in front of you like the Tokyo Skytree, his long black hair covering one eye, the other glinting playfully under the fluorescent lights of the cafeteria. He’d abandoned his blazer over the back of the empty chair in front of her, the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up, exposing the prominent veins along his inner forearms. “Who’s going today?”

“I’ll do it,” Sunghoon said over the voices of the other club members, easing his way through the slowly-growing crowd of students. “Let’s make it quick.”

“Who has the stuff?” Jongseong asked, spraying something onto the needles that made the club’s seating area instantly smell like a hospital. You grimaced only for a second, pushing back the memories of being in the emergency room.

There was an exchange between two closed fists, and before any more objections, Heeseung was announcing the rules to Silent Penalty, tossing a pair of dice in the air as he spoke.

“A roll of eight means you take a penalty mission. If both parties have eight at the end of the same round, both will face penalty. We’ll do two penalties. Keep a straight face through both, and you win. Back out, and you forfeit the whole game. Consequences will be decided later on.” He shot a glance at Y/N. “If you win, you will be the first girl in the club. Do you accept?”

You shook your head slowly. The boys whispered furiously behind you. You pointed at Jimin.

“Oh… She means that I get to come, too,” Jimin piped up, half-hidden behind Yang Jungwon’s broad back.

The dark-haired twin snickered. “Fine. That doesn’t bother me. Anyone against it? No? Then let’s start. Good luck, Y/N. Sunghoonie is our best Penalty player.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘best’,” Jongseong argued. “Luckiest, sure.”

Round one: you , 7; Sunghoon, 4.

Round two: you , 9; Sunghoon, 7.

Round three: you , 5; Sunghoon, 11.

“Shit, Seung,” Jongseong murmured to Heeseung as they stood behind Sunghoon. “Maybe you should have picked a different penalty number.”

Heeseung grinned, patting his friend on the back with a heavy hand. “It’s a thirteen-point-eighty-nine percent chance of rolling an eight. Not zero. Just be patient.”

Tensions mounted in the tenth round, but neither Sunghoon nor you were fazed. Not even when both of you rolled your first eight.

Jaeyun clapped, earning him a glare from his twin brother. “Oh, finally.”

“First penalty,” Heeseung announced, nudging Jaeyun aside. “Jongseong, the needles, please.”

Jimin gasped. “No, wait, what are you doing?”

“Ear piercings,” Jongseong answered with a grin as he began to sanitize two silver studs in his handkerchief. With his free hand, he held Jimin firmly in her spot by the cuff of her blazer. “Don’t worry, Heeseung is good at it.” Still clutching her, he used their joined hands to point to his right ear, a diamond earring in the center of his lobe. “Got this one last year.”

“Ready?” Heeseung asked, taking the alcohol-soaked handkerchief from Jongseong, hands already gloved up.

Everyone watched in silence as Sunghoon allowed Heeseung to confidently push the needle into his cartilage. Sunghoon blinked once, twice, then licked his lips all while the earring was inserted and the backing locked into place.

Taking the other needle, Heeseung sauntered over to you. You looked at him before turning to Sunghoon, brushing your hair away from your face.

“You already have a piercing,” he frowned, gingerly pinching your right ear between his pointer finger and thumb. “I’ll just pick another spot… is this okay?”

You nodded, feeling him graze over the protrusion covering the opening of your ear. You inhaled what could have been construed as the last breath of a dying woman, then exhaled as Heeseung pushed the needle through the thick cartilage of her tragus. He screwed the earring into place, smirking.

“Brave girl.” He turned to his brother. “Did she flinch?”

“Didn’t even blink,” Jaeyun praised. “Fucking sick.”

Sunghoon bit his lip, taking the dice out of your cold hand.

Round fifteen: you , 8; Sunghoon, 8.

“Damn, again?” Jongseong remarked. “That’s either very lucky or very unlucky.”

“The special lunch, Sunghoon,” Heeseung commanded. The boy ducked under the table to retrieve a bento box, blowing his bangs out of his face as he came back up. He looked like he was going to throw up. You thought the pain in his ear couldn’t have been that bad for him.

“Do we have to?” he asked. “Can’t we do something else?”

You answered on Heeseung’s behalf, leaning forward, propping your chin up with your hand, elbow resting on the tabletop as you looked into his eyes. Whatever it is, let’s just get it over with. Unless you’re too scared.

“No.” Jaeyun opened the box, revealing two snails and a small clear container filled with white crystalline grains. Sugar, you hoped, although it was most likely salt. “Here. We’re running out of time.”

You each reached for a snail, Sunghoon opting for the larger of the two.

“Wait,” Heeseung ordered, eyes narrowing to the point where he resembled the nickname he was often called—snake. You and Sunghoon waited, still clutching their own snails. “Sunghoonie, give yours to Y/N. She’s the challenger, not you.”

You resisted the urge to squirm as you felt a jolt run up your arm, like you’d accidentally touched the prongs of a plug that was halfway out of an electrical socket.

Sunghoon scowled. “This isn’t going to be pretty, regardless.”

Amane put her free hand over his, with an expression she hoped he would understand as don’t worry, it’ll be fine, and they switched snails.

“Put some sugar and eat it,” Jaeyun chimed in.

Amane let go of his hand as he glared at the shock of pink hair sticking out in the crowd. “The shells, too?” he drawled.

“Don’t be a smartass, Hoon,” Jongseong laughed.

It was slimy and bitter, even with the sugar. You kept your focus on Sunghoon as your lips wrapped around the opening of the shell, sucking on the body until it slid into your mouth. you r first mistake was chewing, the snail guts oozing onto your palate. you r vision blackened around the edges, and in the span of several milliseconds the Sunghoon that sat in front of you was replaced by the image of a younger boy, with the same dark black-brown hair and dark eyes, albeit thinner, almost haggard-looking.

All you could do while you were frozen in place was swallow, watching the boy as he was pushed out of the front door of an unfamiliar house by someone who could have only been his father, a silver second-place trophy thrown after him. It clattered to the ground, smashing into several pieces that the boy gathered up into the hem of his black sweater. He ran through the old, worn-down neighborhood until he reached another apartment, knocking on the glossy red door until a dark-haired woman with glasses answered, letting the crying boy inside.

You felt the unwelcome but familiar sinking feeling of parental disappointment gather in the pit of your stomach, its endless tentacles swirling and wrapping themselves around the chunks of snail entrails that slid down your esophagus.

You guessed that Sunghoon was experiencing something similar, which meant that he saw the memory of a young girl gliding across a sheet of ice in a skintight jeweled red leotard and matching skirt with all the elegance and grace of a koi fish in water. Out of the corner of the girl’s periphery, a group of people gathered at a section of the plexiglass that framed the entire ice rink; one man smiled, and he saw you skate into a jump before landing with a resounding crack that caused every spectator in the stadium to get on their feet for a closer look.

He would have then seen that man run onto the ice and pick you up, cradling you too close to his body even if he were your father. His hands were in the wrong places, and Sunghoon would have to have wondered why no one was saying anything. Perhaps their focus was all on the blood that began to seep through your nude-colored tights.

“Congratulations, Y/N,” went one of the twins—your focus was too far elsewhere to distinguish or care about who it was. “Welcome to the Fox Club.”

You ran out of the school building as soon as the dismissal bell rang, Jimin and Sunghoon calling out after you.

—

“Umiushi,” Sunghoon said, pointing to the creatures at the bottom of the metal basin. You were in the kitchen of the apartment he shared with his aunt, who just so happened to be a marine biologist studying these so-called “memory snails”. “That’s what we ate. But it’s a special type. Jimin said she told you about them.”

You watched the sea snails in a curious disgust, afraid that they would somehow leap out of the water and down your throat. You nodded to affirm him.

“Yeah. Basically, they have some sort of molecule that can be blocked so that their memories can be blocked, too. There’s not much else we know about them… and I asked Aunt Mina—don’t worry, I didn’t tell her what I saw or anything, it was a hypothetical question—I asked her if it’s possible to transfer memories, and she said it’s impossible right now. Something like that would be magic.”

You grimaced. Magic was for children.

It had been two months since that Friday afternoon that changed everything. Since that day, Sunghoon had followed you home, knowing full well what you’d seen from the snail he’d first touched, the one you ended up eating. He told you how his Aunt Mina took him in after his father disowned him for losing the chess tournament, and how they hadn’t spoken since.

The next morning, you showed up at their house and handed him an origami crane with Why the bread, then? scrawled inside.

Sunghoon explained to you that he was saving all his pocket money to one day pay for a chess “tutor” to whip him into shape, so he could win enough matches for him to go home—the promise his father had made to him the last time they’d spoken, almost a decade ago. You appreciated the honesty of a mere acquaintance so much so that you returned to school after that weekend with a photocopy of several diary entries that pertained to the memory he’d intercepted.

Inside, you confirmed his suspicions. The man was your coach, and, incidentally, your mother’s boyfriend. No one believed what was going on, and your furious mother sent you to live with your estranged father’s mother in Shibuya. It was almost five hours away from Sendai, where you had grown up and trained with one of Japan’s future Olympic figure skaters, Yuzuru himself. Before the incident, it was pretty much guaranteed that you would reach that level, too, since everyone said you were blessed by the gods with such talent. But as your mother said, it was you who ruined everything. Not the gods, not the universe, not fate.

You stopped speaking, Sunghoon learned in your handwriting, because you felt as though no one would listen if you did. You said it was easier that way, less effort on your part. It was harder for you to make promises that you didn’t even want to consider keeping. It forced people to be direct, otherwise they’d get nowhere with you. You didn’t like talking, anyway. It was worth less than acting upon things.

The final page of the diary entries was a single line, a proverb you lived by.

Tamago to chikai wa kudake-yasui.

Eggs and vows are easily broken.

—

You stood on the rooftop, the frigid night air whipping your cheeks the color of the sakura trees below. You and Sunghoon had snuck to the top of one of the Tokyo skyscrapers way past midnight, on a whim. Now, as one of the Foxes, you would agree that life was a bit more fun with some trouble.

You were more than happy Jimin had finally confessed her feelings to Heeseung, and he’d reciprocated, even if it meant you and your best friend spent less time alone together. While Sunghoon could never take Jimin’s place exactly, he fit into your life just fine. Maybe it was because you made space for him to be there.

He loved fruit jelly sticks just as much as Jimin, so you started bringing an extra one for him as well. You noticed that when he took the leftovers from your grandmother’s cafe, the taiyaki in the bag excited him the most. He told you that they were called something else back home in Korea, but he thought yours tasted better. After that, you would always “accidentally” make too many, and give him the rest when you thought no one was looking. You once found him in the library playing chess against himself, and the next day you sat in front of him and played until the lunch bell rang, having learned the rules the night before.

You found out Sunghoon spoke the same language as you. Acts of service. He carried around a pack of Salonpas because you were prone to muscle cramps and the occasional shooting pain in your ankle. you ’d always blush and look away when he’d hand you a clip to keep your hair out of your face, ignoring how his fingers lingered on yours just a split second too long to be platonic. When the boys would tease the two of you about being constantly together, you would text your snarky comeback to Sunghoon, and he would say it out loud for you. And everyone would laugh.

You truly were practically inseparable, though. You couldn’t bring yourself to shut him out, not when he’d already seen what you considered to be the worst part of you and why you were the way you were, and still chosen to think the best of you. On Friday nights, when Jimin and Heeseung were out on yet another city expedition, the two of you would sit on the plastic-covered couch in your grandmother’s living room and watch Yuri On Ice, the anime about a competitive figure skater’s return to the sport. And Sunghoon wouldn’t make you feel embarrassed about crying, only comforting you after making sure it was okay to touch you.

You liked him. He could doze off at times, but he never made a big deal about it. You admired that. And you also appreciated that he never said he felt sorry for you and what happened when you were thirteen. It was unnecessary, you thought. The important thing was that he was there.

The Foxes always traveled in packs. For the boys, it was a sign of friendship. To you, it was protection. Being one of the two girls in the club meant they were extra protective over you, and Sunghoon was no exception. In fact, he was the rule. Every day, without fail, he and Heeseung would walk you and Jimin to school, then to work, then back home.

The world felt a little less lonely to you. And maybe, just maybe, you could stop running from it with one good leg to stand on. Maybe you could find it in yourself to forgive a world that took, since that world had Sunghoon in it. Almost as if it were trying to make it up to you.

His black scarf was wrapped around your neck, flooding your nose with the scent of clean laundry and musk. He’d let you wear it on the train ride over to Shinjuku, and you wondered if he was falling in love with you, too. You hoped that he knew you weren’t scared of being so close to him. Not when he was everything you needed from yourself.

“It’s time we started living for ourselves, don’t you think?” you asked, staring down at the city lights in all their neon glory. Every single speck represented another disappointment, another broken heart, another fruitless wish. None of it mattered. But it still did. “Maybe start chasing a different dream. Maybe the same one. But be in control this time. It’s more fun that way, isn’t it?”

The wind blew your pleated uniform skirt upward, and when you turned to see if Sunghoon was looking, he was. At your face. You had just mustered the courage to speak again, voice raspy from years of unuse. You leaned ever so slightly over the edge, arms spread out wide, feeling the strong breeze catch your body in the current. The tickle of the urge to free-fall played around in your mind.

“Y/N!” Sunghoon yelled before grabbing your wrist at the last possible moment and pulling you back hard enough for you to fall on top of him. You clambered off after a moment’s hesitation, sitting beside him and smoothing out the hem of your skirt.

You looked down, almost ashamed of your impulse. “You….”

“Y/N,” he wheezed, pushing his bangs out of his face as he tried to collect himself. “Are you crazy?”

Your brow furrowed as you examined the worried expression that painted his delicate, sculpted face. “What… What’s wrong, Sunghoon?” The roll of your tongue felt nice in your mouth; yes, you could get used to saying his name out loud. “Are you okay?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Sunghoon retorted, to which you answered with your usual breathy laugh.

“I don’t think killing yourself is that funny—did I miss a joke or something?”

You smiled at him, taking his hand into yours. His was much bigger, and warmer, but felt right all the same. “I wasn’t going to kill myself at all,” you said. “At least, not literally.”

Goodbye, silent Y/N.

–––

“under the moon” arc — episodes 5-8

It had been four months since the snail incident. And while you certainly would have not preferred to have someone who was a stranger at the time witness the worst thing that had ever happened to you, you didn’t regret having the sticky ooze of entrails coagulate in your body.

Because you would have never guessed you would gain a whole new family out of it.

The boys could get rowdy at times, but they meant well—for the most part. Those occasional instances when they didn’t were usually because someone had decided to bother you and force you to speak for them. You didn’t mind talking most of the time now; all that mattered was that you got to decide when you’d open your mouth and to whom you’d speak to.

Being one of the two girls in the group certainly had its drawbacks, but you liked to think you balanced them out just fine. After all, their detention rate had gone down in the past couple of months thanks to you insisting they stop throwing water balloons off the gym’s roof and they stop sneaking into the basketball team’s gym to deflate all the balls.

“Y/N-ie,” Jongseong chirped as he sauntered over to the Foxes’ table with his bento in hand. He was the only one besides Jimin who used that particular honorific, and you only allowed him to do so because of how stupidly tall he was compared to you. “Where’s Hoon?”

You looked up from your food, stony eyes glancing at the other boys—and Jimin, who sat beside Heeseung—and everyone shrugged. You blinked slowly at Jongseong before answering, “He’s going to enter the cafeteria in… five seconds.”

“You’re just bullshitting at this point,” Jaeyun laughed, mouth full of rice. While he was certainly more in-your-face than his twin brother, the Foxes’ vice president was surprisingly still pleasant to be around. You would never say it to his ridiculous pink hair, though, because he’d never shut up about it if you did. “Damn, you eat one snail and suddenly you’re Yuuji Itadori or something.”

“She’s not making it up, Yunie,” Jimin chimed in from where Heeseung’s arm was around her shoulder. She pointed in the direction of the double doors. “Look, there he is.”

You lifted your bag out of the chair next to you without even looking to see if Sunghoon had already reached the table. It was like you had a radar for him and him only, and you’d spent the last few days staying up late thinking about how that was possible.

You both seemed to be able to sense what the other person was feeling, which meant that neither of you were ever hungry, tired, or in a bad mood for long. You often would run into each other during times you normally weren’t supposed to be together, the rare occasions where you would spend your weekends alone always seemed to change the moment the both of you left your houses. At one point, you two discovered that not only did Sunghoon have an insane talent for drawing, but he could accurately guess what you were wearing and how your hair was styled without having seen you prior to his sketches.

Thankfully, however, you couldn’t totally read each other’s minds. You would be embarrassed for Sunghoon to find out you’d come to love him if he could hear your thoughts.

It couldn’t have been the snails that did this to you, right?

“Sorry, Hiroto-sensei was chewing my ass out,” Sunghoon said as he shrugged off his uniform blazer and sat down. He placed a carton of mango juice beside your hand, the straw already punctured through the foil seal.

“You were sleeping in class again, weren’t you?” you asked, handing Sunghoon the bento you spent the morning preparing for him. It had all his favorites—pork curry, rice, natto, a soft boiled egg, and the taiyaki from your family’s cafe.

“At this point, I don’t know why he even tries,” he laughed. You smiled at him softly. You were glad you found it in yourself to speak, because your new family actually paid attention to you. They didn’t possess Sunghoon’s attuned nature towards you, but you appreciated them all the same. “I need my nine hours one way or the other.”

“You had nine hours last night.” You paused, chopsticks in midair. “Jongseong, why are you staring?”

The black-haired boy looked at you as if you should have known the answer. “It’s like you two have powers or something.”

“Why would you say that?” Sunghoon asked.

“You two are so connected, it’s romantic.”

You tried to hide the blush spreading across your face. “Shut up.”

You and Sunghoon both agreed that God—at least, the one from Christianity—wasn’t real. Something from a World War II history documentary they’d watched together said it best—a line carved into the walls of a jail in the Mauthausen concentration camp.

“If there is a God, then He will have to beg for my forgiveness.”

Certainly, that God was all sorts of fucked up to grant free will. To allow your figure skating coach to violate your body for years. To be unable to stop Sunghoon’s father from beating him for every game of chess he lost. To give the worst pain to the least deserving.

That is the problem of evil. That if there were such suffering in the world, and yet God could not prevent it, then He is not omnipotent. Maybe He didn’t even come close to the power that Izanami and Izanagi or any of the other Shinto deities held, and they were far from perfect.

Sunghoon once told you that he would destroy the whole world for you if he could, to which you simply rolled your eyes and said that that would be no fun. This was, incidentally, after he’d gifted you a painting he’d done of the ancient lotus garden in Kumamoto. Making art was his new hobby that you made him pick up so he wouldn’t be so burnt out playing chess all the time.

“And why not?”

“Because our suffering helps us delight in everything else that much more,” you answered, resting your cheek on his shoulder. You knew you wouldn’t have said that two months ago, that you would have instead told him that humans are put on Earth to suffer and nothing else, but after being around friends who didn’t take life so seriously (if they ever did at all), you’d learned to have fun with your finite existence as it was.

Of course, you appreciated Sunghoon’s sentiment all the same. It held you close and told you everything would be alright, that the way your life had turned out was not your fault like you’d believed it was, but rather a consequence of things you could not control. In your physics class, Hiroto-sensei had quoted Albert Einstein during a lecture on quantum mechanics.

“God does not play dice with the universe.”

That was to say, Einstein never believed in the idea that atoms were governed by randomness. He turned his nose up at the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, which itself stated that there was no way to accurately predetermine the speed and position of a particle at any moment. He asserted that there was no way that anything could be certain, that it wasn’t possible to describe things in terms of probabilities. He thought that the course of all events was fixed, that God formulated and prescribed a certain set of laws and sat back to watch the universe evolve in accordance with those laws.

You would have to disagree with him.

After all, what kind of vindictive God would—

—

“Sunghoon,” you said as you laid on the floor of your living room, listening to music in English because you promised each other that one day you would get out of the country together. On this particular night, your album of choice was Radiohead’s Pablo Honey.

He had mentioned that the band, at one point, refused to play “Creep” live because it was the one song the audience came to hear. You knew what that felt like.

Sunghoon turned his gaze away from the ceiling to look at you, his eyes softening. “Hm?”

“Do… do you still like chess?”

You knew that he would understand what you meant by that. In the past few weeks, you’d had to practice with him after it turned out that you were a better opponent than anyone in Kokusai’s chess club. Sunghoon was still dead-set on going back to playing competitively, all in the name of being allowed to return to his childhood home, to his father, one day. At least, that’s what you thought.

Something about that made you uneasy, but you knew you were in no place to cast stones. After all, you had your own share of disappointing your parents. Your own mother had not come to see you in Shibuya since the day she abandoned you there, effectively handing over any parenting duties to your grandmother. The phone works two ways, and she’d never acknowledged that fact of the universe. And, unlike Sunghoon, you had never been offered the opportunity to go back “home” to Sendai. As if that place had ever been your home to begin with.

The nuances between your circumstances were only sparing, to say the least.

“You’re worried about me,” he declared. “You think I want to win a tournament so I can go home.”

You hummed in agreement.

“Well, yeah. I want to go home. But only to drop that stupid trophy off at my father’s door and be the one who never speaks to him again. Besides, why should I return to that place when I’m completely fine here?”

Maybe Jongseong had a point, you thought. Maybe you two did share something more than a lunch box of snails. Maybe it’s romantic, after all.

“Are you really okay here?”

He returned his gaze to the ceiling, avoiding your eyes. “Yeah. Because it’s where you are.”

—

Sunghoon knelt down at your feet, lacing up your ice skates.

However, your legs were bouncing uncontrollably, and it wasn’t because of how cold the indoor rink was. Part of you wished that your Achilles tendon didn’t heal completely.

“Look, you made it this far,” Sunghoon said quietly, brushing his fingers against your supposed bad ankle. The doctors had said you’d be fine to skate on it, that it was your mind that wasn’t allowing you to try again. “We can come back another time.”

You shook your head. How you’d longed to be back, pining for a time where you would be free from the prison of invisible hands gripping her limbs, pinning you down on the ground. “No. I promised you we’d do it today. I need to do this for myself, too.”

“If you can’t—”

“Don’t tell me you doubt me, because I’ve already got that covered,” you snapped, the words flying out faster than you could control them. Your hand came up to cover your mouth. “I’m sorry, Hoonie. I didn’t mean—”

He shook his head, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Don’t worry. It’s nice to finally hear what you think. But I disagree. You are so much more than you realize. I’m proud of you.”

Your eyes closed gently before you allowed herself to momentarily soak up those four words.

Then you shrugged off your coat and took his hand, letting him guide you to the rink. The frigid air tried to seep through your fleece-lined stockings but it was nothing to you as you began to wobble on the ice. You scolded herself internally and forced her muscles to relax. It was unbecoming of you to say you should have been an Olympian before the accident and then proceed to look like you needed a walker.

It took several moments before you began to glide carefully, the blades of your skates just an extension of your body.

You didn’t need to go back to Sendai anymore. You could stand on both legs now, head held high.

For the next few minutes, you took your time getting used to the feeling again, silently willing all of your faith in yourself to return. You were different now. You could trust yourself. Protect yourself. Being a Fox brought that out of you—your bravery, determination, the unabashed desire to take what the universe threw at you and spit it back in its face.

Of course, you had to thank Sunghoon for showing up when he did. Before then, you were what some people would call just waiting to die. Waiting for the possible day in which you would stop being who you were.

He never forced you to do anything you didn’t want to do. He never forced himself on you. The first time you ever held hands, it was you who reached for him in your sleep as you napped on the floor next to him, the space heater keeping the two of you warm.

Don’t be scared. Don’t be scared.

You didn’t need to, anymore. You glanced over your shoulder to find Sunghoon watching you intently, head propped up with his hand as he leaned on the railing.

One, two… three… jump.

You closed your eyes and leapt, spinning three hundred and sixty degrees before landing with only minimal strain, the skirt of your dress fluttering. You could hear Sunghoon’s overjoyed cries faintly as you continued to swim through the air, feeling the rush that used to overcome you when you were younger, although this time, there was nothing looming over you like the shadow of the Grim Reaper. Your entire body vibrated, all of your electrons dancing along with you.

Sunghoon didn’t hesitate when you came to him, pulling you in for a tight hug.

It was short-lived, though, because as soon as you came into contact,

you passed right through him.

“What… what the fuck?” he whispered, turning his head around to see you standing behind him. You were staring at your own hands, wondering what the hell just happened. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It didn’t hurt.” You looked at him with a mirrored wide-eyed expression. “I think we need to call Jongseong.”

“I knew it,” Park Jongseong said smugly, strolling into the lobby of the ice rink with his hands in his pockets and an unlit Seven Stars dangling from his lips. You and Sunghoon sat one seat apart, in fear that it would happen again.

“Don’t be crazy,” you muttered as you crossed your arms. You uncrossed them when you considered the possibility that your hands could go inside your body if you weren’t careful. “There’s no such thing as having powers.”

“Sure,” Sunghoon added. “But there has to be some sort of explanation for this.”

Jongseong grinned, pushing his black hair out of his face. “Yeah. You’ve heard of quantum theory, right? Atomic principles? Hoon, you weren’t asleep during that lecture, were you?”

“Maybe I was. What do atoms have to do with any of this?” Sunghoon asked, rolling his eyes.

“Well, basically… how can I explain this easily… uh… your atoms and Y/N’s were so perfectly aligned that you… y’know… passed through each other.”

You frowned. “But Einstein said—”

“He was wrong. People can be wrong. Shit, even the gods were wrong sometimes. Damn, do you sleep in class, too?”

“I—”

“Nothing,” Jongseong said, “is a guarantee. Except death.”

Take that, Einstein.

—

“You’re beautiful. I wish I could draw you right now,” he said.

You let out a soft, nervous laugh. “Cameras exist. You could just take a picture.”

“That’s not nearly enough.”

Your hands trailed shakily along the lapels of Sunghoon’s blue blazer, fingertips grazing the hem as he edged closer to you. You wondered if the accident would happen again.

“H-hoon…” you whispered as you attempted to sink your head deeper into his scarf wrapped around your neck. “I’m scared.”

They were on the rooftop you’d killed herself on—in the metaphorical sense—all those months ago. Since then, everything as you knew it was different, from your voice to the way you presented yourself all the way down to how you felt.

“Nonsense,” he quipped in the same hushed tone. Your eyes were locked on your shoes, feet pointed toward one another. “You’re damn well the bravest person I know. It’s contagious, actually.”

“This is different,” you replied. You rubbed the fabric of his blazer feebly. “I…”

“I love you,” he said, tucking his index and middle fingers beneath her chin to tilt your head up to look at him. “I really love you.”

I love you. I love you a lot.

“No! you can’t just… you can’t just say it like that!” you protested, hands flattening against his broad chest and attempting to push him away from you. It was no use. Despite how lanky he appeared to be, he was built like an iron wall.

Sunghoon chuckled, wrapping his fingers around yours. “How would you rather I say it?”

You froze as heat rose to your face. They’d just discussed this in class; the story went that Souseki Natsume, a famous writer who once taught English, said that because the Japanese did not declare their love so loosely the way Westerners did, the most appropriate equivalent of the expression would be “the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”.

And the most appropriate “literary” response to that came out of your mouth smoothly, like melted ice cream. “Shindemo ii wa.”

I would die happy.

–––

season finale: i know the end — episodes 9-12

When observed under a microscope, two particles both affected by one experience will no longer exist as individuals thereafter, but as two halves of one whole. This phenomenon is known as quantum entanglement, and had been used by several of your closest friends to describe the way in which your life had flipped itself over its axis on one April afternoon in your third and final year of high school.

Five years had passed since you’d graduated. Since the day you grew a spine and ate a snail with Park Sunghoon, the day you stopped living on autopilot. Since you’d fallen in love with him and regained the mastery of your own voice, both of these things you’d done over and over again, day after day. And it had been three years since you finally returned to competitive figure skating to prove that you could do more than just fine on your own, without your mother and certainly without a coach who would violate your physical existence.

But in those years, Sunghoon still hadn’t made it out of Japan like he said you both would someday. At least, you hoped, not yet. Not yet, but soon. You knew it had to be soon.

You sat in your small apartment in the Fairfax district of Los Angeles, an expensive neighborhood you were only able to afford because of the amount of endorsements you’d taken on. Your little black cat, Tai, as in taiyaki, as in the dessert Sunghoon loved so much, purred contentedly in your lap as you stared out of the window and into the street below.

You’d agreed to adopt a cat together one day. You wondered if he already had one of his own by now. You assumed he did; on several occasions you could sense his presence, encouraging you, making you push forward and keep fighting against the universe, against Izanami and Izanagi, against God Himself.

This was what you did in your free time. Miss your life back home. You didn’t want to make any new friends. It was useless. No one could take or come anywhere remotely near Sunghoon’s place—or Jimin’s, or Heeseung’s, or Jaeyun’s, or Jongseong’s, for that matter.

Soon, you promised yourself, you could show Sunghoon all that he’d missed out on. In your second year in America, you finally mastered the quadruple lutz after several doctors quelled your anxieties and confirmed your ankle really had healed miraculously.

You decided you would also take Sunghoon to Little Tokyo, Los Angeles, where you’d go every time you felt like getting on a Boeing 747 to give up on this dream once and for all and go back to him, your other dream—if he’d still have you, that is. You didn’t know for sure.

You played with your phone in your hand, turning it over in your palm. You knew he was only a call away, but you were starting to go back to your old self, unsure of whether or not he’d even pick up. There was also a newfound sense of pride you had, not wanting to be the first one to cave in. If he was the one who pushed you forward, why should you be like Eurydice and turn around to look back?

But Sunghoon was the one who put it best, every single time you asked him why he gave up on playing chess in favor of going to art school after graduation—even though his victory in the championships would win back the respect of his father: “I don’t need to go home when you’re right beside me.”

Liar. Where are you?

That night, like many other nights spent lonely, you could feel him beside you, when everything was still except your own chest, aching for some sort of reprieve from the constant gravitational pull of your personal sun and moon, and the monotonous whirr of the electric fan that sat watch beside yoiur bed. You felt the ghost of his fingertips along your spine, and since you happened to be super lucky and lying extra quietly this time—you heard his voice, soft and low and warm like whiskey down your throat. It played on a loop until it lulled you to sleep.

“We’ll go together. I promise.”

He’d said that the night he admitted he loved you.

You also knew that he always knew where you stood on things as flimsy as words:

Tamago to chikai wa kudake-yasui.

Eggs and vows are easily broken.

And since he knew, why would he say that—when he was the one who could read you without even so much as a perfunctory glance? Why would he stand with you in Terminal 1 of Tokyo Narita without his own boarding pass? Why would he tell you to break up with him right before you got on that plane to California?

Stupid plane. Stupid distance. Stupid Y/N. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You had no patience for idiots. You weren’t excluded from your own disdain.

The only thing that kept you sane was the fact that somewhere deep inside you, in a place whose existence you were reluctant to acknowledge, you knew that one day, you’d see him again.

You had to.

You just hoped you’d still be able to recognize each other.

—

To change the polarity of an electromagnet, two people are required. They use one snail for each person. Their most repressed memory will transfer over to the snail once it’s been touched. In order for the magnetic fields to switch, the parties must switch their snails and consume them.

The result should not end in repulsion.

The day Sunghoon’s atoms had lined up with yours so perfectly that you passed right through him was an indicator that some things weren’t just theories that could be disproved with a fallacy or two. That much was true.

You sighed, trudging through the farmer’s market in search of your favorite stand, which was run by a group of friends who reminded you so much of your beloved Fox Club back home. They sold baked goods that your trainer would frown upon if she saw them, but you believed that you deserved to eat them every Sunday.

And without fail, Sunghoon’s voice popped up in your head, reassuring you that you could eat them every day if you wanted to, just as long as you did it in moderation.

“Thank you,” you whispered quietly, still unsure as ever if he could hear your reply.

You paid for the decadent salted chocolate chip cookies and walked the four blocks home, debating for the millionth time over why you and him had to be forced apart. Did it mean you had to grow alone first? Would you be able to ever feel whole again?

You were able, however, to feel him missing you. So it wasn’t as completely one-sided as it seemed to be sometimes. It was always there, a slight tug in your heartstrings like a thread on its last life. It sat in your chest right beside where you missed him. On this particular day, it was strong. Stronger than any of the other days that came before, so overwhelming that you had to stop halfway home and sit on a bench to catch your breath.

Could quantum theory explain how he could feel whatever you were thinking? Or how you knew, back when you two were still together, what he wanted for dinner before you even asked? Or how your anxieties would disappear just as fast as they came, replaced by a flood of reassurances?

You had had a feeling that he failed his Visa interview on purpose, six months before you were slated to go to America. In the embassy’s lobby, he’d told you that the interviewer said he would have passed if you were his wife and not just his girlfriend.

Liar.

He’d assured you that he did want to go with you. He could find a job working for Pixar or Illumination or anywhere that would hire him for his talent. So why was the universe making it so hard for you to be together now, when the first two years of your entanglement were so easy?

Nothing, you learned, was supposed to make sense. You could spend hours asking “But why?” to every answer and there would be nothing to shut you up. In fleeting moments you would reconsider your decision to speak again, because the one person you spoke for was a little more than five thousand miles away.

So how am I able to be happy when he isn’t right next to me?

Not as happy as you knew you could be, but happy nonetheless. You were running after your first dream, after all.

Your phone rang when you got home.

“Jimin?” you asked, squinting at the screen. You were met with the image of your best friend, bouncing her seven-month-old baby on her lap, a little girl named after you. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“Hey, Y/N,” Jimin’s husband, Heeseung, called, waving to the camera. It was so surreal for you to think that Jimin ended up with her high school boyfriend while you were twenty-three and still pining over yours.

“Have you seen it?” Jimin squealed over the sound of the baby’s giggling. A TV in the background could be heard, the voices speaking Japanese. “The first episode just came out!”

“Seen what? What are you talking about? It’s literally only ten in the morning here.”

“Sunghoon’s anime! It’s so good!”

Your heart stopped pumping for a split second as you heard the double saccharine syllables of his name. The little communication you had with him while you were gone were only simple, fond exchanges over congratulations. The last you’d heard from him, he’d gotten a job at a big animation studio. Of course he was too humble to tell you everything. “What… What's it about?”

“It’s a romance. Everyone in the world is assigned a soulmate and the main characters experience a lot of crazy shit the closer they get to each other. Sorry the summary’s so bad, I promise it’s way better than I just made it sound.”

Soulmates, huh?

—

It has been said that the atoms of the universe have been rearranged to create the world as it is known now. Should that be true, two people can be born of the same star and not realize it until the moment presents itself.

You knew Sunghoon was there before you even saw him in the crowd. The air suddenly felt different, like you’d just dragged your bare feet through carpet and was just millimeters away from touching a brass doorknob.

On normal competition days you would have attributed the charged atmosphere to nerves or the ten-thousand volt energy of the spectators cheering on their favorite skater. But it wasn’t a normal competition day, unless the winter Olympics in Seattle was just some regular thing.

You knew it: Sunghoon had made it out of Japan this time.

“Ladies and gentlemen, in third place, USA: Allison Steadmeyer!”

Cue music. Polite wave. Applause.

“In second place, Russia: Irina Khodorkhovsky!”

Music. Wave. Applause.

“In first place, Japan: Y/N!”

The single cheer of one person drowned out the rest.

“Why did you walk away from me?” you asked quietly; anyone around would have chalked up your tears as those of victory, of making a comeback worthy of an Oscar-nominated film. That was because they couldn’t feel the way you instinctively latched onto Sunghoon like an oxygen atom receiving its electron pairing. “Why didn’t you go with me?”

“I didn’t want to get in the way of your dreams,” Sunghoon said into the apple scent of your hairspray. You trembled in his arms, the dazzling Swarovski crystals of your midnight blue spandex dress digging through the wool of his coat. “I knew I would only be a bother to you in the end.”

“Liar.” Tears swam in your vision, blurring his face until he was only the galaxy of vanilla and cinnamon you saw every night behind your eyelids. “Didn’t you know? Didn’t you know that you were a part of them?”

“No.”

You were even stronger by then. The first time you ever tried to physically push him away, he was confessing his love for you. This time, he stumbled backward, albeit only by one step. “Liar!”

“I’m sorry. You know I love you and that hasn’t changed. I just wanted you to be free, I didn’t want to be a burden on you. But it seems as though we’re really meant to be together. I didn’t do what I did to hurt you. I tried so hard to make it not hurt. ”

“What do you mean?”

“As long as I tried to be happy, I figured that you would feel it, too. You know, like what Jongseong said when we were younger. We’re connected. But it was difficult. Every day, I felt you missing me as much as I missed you.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“That even if we were across the entire fucking universe, we’d still be tied together. And nothing could come between that. I know it now, and I’m sorry.”

“I never want to hear you apologize to me ever again,” you mumbled.

—

“Y/N?”

You were lying on your hotel bed, one of his arms wrapped around your shoulder as his hand aimlessly played with your hair that was still wavy from being knotted in a tight bun for your performance that day.

One side of your face was pressed against where his heart beat in synchronization with yours. “Yes?”

“Did you ever feel… alone?”

You shook your head. “No. Just lonely.”

“Do you still feel it now?”

“Well, you’re here, aren’t you?”

He pressed a kiss to the bony ridges of your knuckles. “And I’m never leaving unless it’s with you.”

a/n: surprise surprise! y'all thought SSV was gonna be my debut on here? well i lied. here's arguably one of the saddest things i've written so far besides that one angst i wrote in stella's dms last week. i hope you love it as much as i loved writing it. thank you to nia for encouraging me to post this :D taglist: @karinasbaby @enha-stars @intromortal @heeslomll @venomhee @heeheeswifey

#🀄️fics #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon x y/n #sunghoon x you #enhypen fluff #enhypen fanfiction #enha fluff #sunghoon au #FUCK MAKING TAGS #WHAT DO I SAY #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon fic #i give up #this is it for me #wait #sunghoon angst

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pprodsuga · 8 months ago

Text

wrong number | sunghoon

thirteen: charlie, linus, and franklin

summary: when a barista of the cafe sunghoon frequents gives him her phone number, he decides to try his luck and texts her. problem is, it seems as though he’s got it all wrong and texts you instead.

notes: ayo written chapter <3 she’s a shortie but that’s okay! btw you will need to read this part first for this chapter to make sense.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

This particular weekend feels silent and tranquil amidst the chaotic week of responsibilities and obligations. Sunoo, Jungwon, and Riki have promised to let you recharge over the course of the next two days before they bother you again, business as usual. You’ve spent the better part of your evening eating a home cooked meal and cleaning your skin until it’s fresh and moisturized. Today feels like a well-deserved Friday and you don’t imagine it can get any better than this.

It's relatively quiet tonight, the soft sound of wind rustling through the trees being the only thing keeping you company at such a late hour. In addition, the moon is full and bright, reflecting off of the window pane and it leaves a small sliver of light amongst the darkness of your room. You reckon the stars are shining extra bright tonight.

Sunghoon’s been a fixture in your life for a short while but it feels like you’ve met your twin flame. A fire erupts within your chest when you see his contact name on your display screen. Your cheeks flush and you feel the childish need to prevent anyone from seeing the message no matter how mundane or boring it may be. Still, you revel in the feeling of first crushes and the cliche kind of romance you only see in movies.

Another text from Sunghoon comes through.

sunghoon <3: don’t sleep on me, pretty girl

sunghoon <3: can i call you?

You throw your phone until it lands with a soft thud on top of your mattress.

It might be embarrassing, the way you gasp at his question. Sending voice notes back and forth is one thing. Neither of you are obligated to be available at the same time and there aren’t awkward pauses like two people trying to think of what to say next. Voice notes are mini conversations where it’s acceptable to jump from topic to topic, straying so far from the original point that you rarely find your way back. Phone calls are new, uncharted territory.

You briefly think about whether or not you should freshen up until you realize it wouldn’t involve your video camera. Sunghoon knows you're tucked in bed with the blankets by your chin, so he must understand you’re in a dark room and presumably in pajamas (you are).

After deliberating for three and a half minutes on Twitter, you respond.

you: i would love that

Your fingers burn as you press send. It feels like a risky text, one that you immediately regret sending. What if Sunghoon doesn’t find you interesting since your conversation isn’t over messages? What if he doesn't like your voice? What if you say something wrong and he decides to never text you again?

“I, um,” you stutter, not used to the feeling of flirting over the phone. Or, at least you think Sunghoon’s flirting. He wouldn’t say your voice was cute if he meant that to be friendly, right? “W-Wow it’s so different hearing your voice on a phone call.”

You wear, you ascend when he laughs again.

“You’re funny, you know that?” You try to think of a response but he beats you to it. “Are you really tucked underneath your blankets?”

“I would not lie about sleeping underneath very comfortable sheets.” You ruffle the comforter for good measure. “See? Definitely not lying.”

“I’m trying to imagine your room. I’m thinking of pink sheets and pillows.”

“Wrong,” you chuckle. “Lavender.”

“Purple, I see.” Sunghoon says this like he’s pretending to contemplate. “Can you guess what mine are?”

“I dunno, something super stereotypical for a guy. Like navy blue.”

He goes quiet. “Wow, I’m actually surprised that you got it right.”

“There’s something about men and their bond to navy blue bedding, Hoonie. What can I say?”

That boyish laugh of his will be the death of you. “I guess you’re right. Now that I think about it, there’s only one person in my apartment who doesn’t have navy sheets.”

“Unlike you, they’re original.” You hope the joke lands through your voice but a small part in the back of your brain tells you that you might’ve gone too far.

“I guess all men really are the same,” he sighs dramatically.

“Do you think it’s a little weird that we’ve been talking for a month and we’ve never met before?” you ask.

“Honestly? Not really. It was at first, considering you’re not the person who originally gave me their phone number.”

You nod despite the fact that he can’t see you do it. “It’s weird that the barista would give you a fake number even though she wanted to give it to you.”

Perhaps it’s your affinity to believe the good in people or your own naivety, but you’d love to believe that meeting Sunghoon the way you did was pure fate. Your friends know you question where you stand in life and if you’ll ever experience those wondrous ‘firsts’ when it comes to dating and relationships, since it seems as if the people in your life have been. While you’re happy for them, it makes conversations awkward when you have nothing to contribute.

“I’m glad I ended up texting you, if I’m being honest,” he admits from the other side of the phone. “I don’t…date, really. I’m not the type of person to hook up with random girls all the time either, or anything. But after what my ex did, it left a weird taste in my mouth.

“I can understand that. Even though that happened years ago, it’s still a traumatic thing to experience.”

“My roommates tell me that all the time. It’s just hard, you know? I felt weird telling you about it considering one shouldn’t talk about their exes to people they’re talking to.”

Sunghoon confirming the fact that you two are indeed in the talking stage makes your heart flutter.

“I understand that too,” you agree. “But it’s important to know, I think. As long as you’re willing to share? I mean, asking people what their favorite color is or their go-to ramen order is so overrated. I want to know the nitty gritty.”

“Including the fact that I have navy blue bedding?” he jokes.

“Exactly that,” you joke back. “I don’t have many stories to tell. No evil exes to fight on this end.”

“Well there’s one evil ex and one short-lived relationship, but I hardly think a middle school romance counts for anything.”

“No, I don’t think it does.”

With the initial awkwardness of a first phone call out of the way, the conversation between you and Sunghoon flows like a natural waterstream. It seems as though every topic is on the table, as you both start discussing your everyday habits to what your respective families are like back at home. You tell him about your parents and he tells you about his sister. Sunghoon opens up about living with four other guys and you’re sure he can hear your shock when he tells you the things he puts up with. It’s moments like this where you’re grateful to live alone, even if three of your closest friends stop by more often than not.

Talking to Sunghoon makes you feel like you’re completely and utterly seen. You understand, now, why people talk about the difference between being acknowledged by your friends and having someone see you for who you are as they get to know you. Sunghoon doesn’t have any precursor as to who you are because the person he’s getting to know is the person you present to him without any past judgment or assumptions. It feels nice.

“You hang out with some of the same people every week, right?” Sunghoon asks. It warms your heart to know he pays attention. “The ones who like shrimp chips.”

“That’s Charlie,” you lie. Jungwon’s advice of omitting your names in favor of replacing them with the characters in the Peanuts comics asserts itself and the name ‘Charlie’ comes out faster than you intended. “Yeah, he loves those. I buy extra for him because he keeps finishing mine.”

“That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Well, he pays for other things for me too sometimes. I see it as a bargain.”

“And your other friends?”

The guilt inside of you has dropped to your stomach.

“There’s Franklin. He’s a sweetheart, really. Very sassy too but I think he only gets like that when you get to know him. When we first met, he was so quiet and I thought he didn’t like me at first.”

“Can’t imagine someone not liking you.”

You’re quiet for a moment. “Now you’re just making me blush.”

“I’d like to see how many times I can do that on this phone call.” You pay no mind to the phone and shove your face into your pillows to let out a short-lived squeal, hoping that the sound muffles your noise. Did you put your phone on mute?

You can hear Sunghoon chuckling as you pick your phone back up. “What about your other friend?”

“Oh, that’s Linus.” The lie comes out easier and you can’t tell if it’s because he’s just complimented you or if it’s because you’ve been lying this entire time. “He’s a real sweetheart. He comes off as very boyish, you know? Hard and strong, that kind of thing. I’ve known him since we were kids and he’s my longest friend. He’s the type of person I can really depend on and someone I trust with my whole heart, even if he is a little shit sometimes.”

“I can relate. One of my best friends, Jake, who also happens to be my roommate, is like that too. He definitely looks like the kind of guy who sleeps around. You know the type; cocky smile who looks like he works out a ton. But he’s a real sweetheart and can crack a joke like it’s nothing. Girls always assume he’s got so many people under his belt but the poor guy is a hopeless romantic.”

“That’s so sweet,” you say with a frown. “I hope he’s able to find someone really soon.”

“You and I both,” Sunghoon sighs. “I cannot handle his dumbass comments about us every time I tell him about you.”

“Let him be,” you chide. “If he wants to say we’re fated, let him.”

Sunghoon is silent on the other line.

“You’re so,” Sunghoon begins to say before cutting himself off to chuckle. “You’re just so bold. I have never met anyone so straightforward before. You’re flirting with me and aren’t shy to do it.”

“Me?” you feign innocence, a giggle threatening to spill from your lips. “Flirting? I don’t flirt. I don’t know how to flirt. Maybe you should teach me some time.”

You swear that you can hear a small grunt from the other end of the line and mentally pat yourself on the back for your ingenious thinking.

“Enough,” says Sunghoon. “You’re trouble.”

“Don’t you have any guilty pleasures?”

On the opposite end of the phone line, that one question alone makes Sunghoon bite his lip and shut his eyes. He’s glad you aren’t there to witness him do it.

“Cute isn’t the word I’d use for you right now,” he finally says.

The rest of the night is spent on the phone with Sunghoon, so much so that you forget about your white lie and the guilt that sits in the back of your mind. It feels too good to be seen by somebody who doesn’t hold any expectations over your head. You’re just you, the person who hides her romantic tendencies by cracking jokes about how love isn’t all it’s supposed to be. But Sunghoon allows you to tear that down and discover what having a crush might just feel like.

Instead, you fall asleep on the phone and are pleasantly surprised to wake up and find that he didn’t end the phone call while you were sleeping.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

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*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

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#enhypen x reader #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon x you #park sunghoon smau #park sunghoon fluff #park sunghoon x oc #enhypen imagines #park sunghoon imagines #park sunghoon scenarios #enhypen scenario #enhypen sunghoon #kpop smau #kpop x reader #wrong number #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon

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rendezvouz-fling · 2 years ago

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Astro Observations #13

• Gemini/Aquarius/Libra placements might be into 70s/80s music and might be very drawn to the “Minneapolis Sound”. E.g. Prince, Sheila E, Ready for the world, Vanity/Apollonia 6, André Cymone, The Time, Dez Dickerson, etc…

• Water suns with Air placements tend to have sweet and sometime sultry singing voices that sound similar to Bunny DeBarge, Syreeta, Patrice Rushen, etc… They literally give me ‘I love every little thing about you’ by Syreeta vibes!!✨💗

• Most big famous singing families tend to have Water placements in their big 3/6!!

• People with Earth placements in their Singer persona chart tend to develop their singing styles a little more slowly than others but it also gives them more time to experiment with their voice and therefore be really great singers!!💜

• Taurus placements love cooking for their loved ones and they turn out to be really great cooks where as some Virgo placements especially Suns aren’t that great at cooking.

• Air moons with Air risings need to stop ghosting their friends because they’ll literally become addicted.🤧

• Air moons can be very much “Hollier than thou” type people without literally saying it. They just give off those vibes especially when they’re around Fire moons.✋🏽🌚

• Leo suns with Gemini moons and Leo mercuries are such big gossips!!! They’re also very bold, loud, sometimes caring and very funny people!!

• Air/Earth mixes in the big 3 are so ethereal??💗

• Let a Sagittarius moon/stellium go on about their days and don’t cling onto them and they’ll love you forever!!

• Libra Jupiters tend to have a lot of Leo Jupiter besties!💕

• Virgo moons and dropping their subject then asking the person about it again at least 100 times.💀

• Virgo moons with Water placements will literally wanna apologize all the time if they feel like they’ve upset you and that sinks my heart.🥺

• Taurus moons will literally have so much patience with their loved ones!🤎

• Taurus placements prefer gummies over chocolates.

• As impulsive as people may think Sagittarius moons are, they’ll actually let you talk and listen to what you have to say.

• A lot of rockstars tend to have Aquarius, Gemini and Sagittarius in their big 3/6! E.g. Vince Neil (Aqua sun, Gemini rising), Axl Rose (Aquarius sun/mercury/Jupiter/Mars/Saturn), Nikki Sixx (Sagittarius sun/mercury/venus), Tom Keifer (Aquarius sun, Gemini moon) etc…

• Aries/Sagittarius sun kids are those brave kids sit around telling scary stories to scare other kids lmao, they’re also the types to spread a fake rumor about having seen a ghost. Usually the ones you’d find playing Bloody Mary and Charlie Charlie in school.😭

• Virgo sun Virgo moon kids are the momma’s babies!!

• Girls with Air/Fire placements are usually daddy’s girls.

• Some Capricorn sun Pisces moon men tend to look like their mother’s twins!

• Fire suns tend to be goofballs when it’s karaoke night.😂

• Fire mars mothers lose their tempers as a hobby atp. 😭✋🏽

• Pisces suns with Pisces mercuries are such softies!🥺

• Gemini placements 🤝 bouncing their legs, standing up then walking for a few seconds and sitting back down, scratching themselves, pulling their hairs or biting their nails when nervous to the point of habitually doing it.🥲

• Capricorn suns with a Virgo stellium are so sexy?! 🥵 Donna Summer had this placement!😮‍💨

• Gemini risings and Leo risings are the type to bring food with them to a cafe and boldly eat it because ‘they paid for it’.😂

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exile-of-dathomir · 9 months ago

Note

The mysterious tooka trots up to the café again a little later, but doesn't try to open the door again. The tag on its collar catches the light as it stretches out by a window, peering curiously inside, and then trots off again, leaving a few shed cream and pink hairs behind.

[It's the busiest time of day, lunch hour, and Feral is whipping out drinks three at a time. The bakery case looks like it's been mauled. There's no nut-based creamer anywhere in the building, and all the nemoidians are mad about it.]

[It is amidst this chaos, between matcha latte for a twi'lek and a nubian fog for a weequay, that a glint catches his eye. Feral is, after all, a hunter born and bred. He can't help but freeze, pupils dilating, muscles tensing.]

[Like a frozen moment in time he catches sight of the adorable little fuzz ball from the other day as it stretches in the window sill. He blinks, and it's already trotting away... what terrible timing! He can't even go try and tempt it in with a bit of food, because the door just opened and three more people joined the queue.]

[Feral shakes himself and refocuses, caught back up in the daily lunch rush. Next time, he hopes, he'll be less busy...]

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youremyheaven · 8 months ago

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Phoebe Buffay Is a Punarvasu Icon

A few days ago I had a realisation that Lisa Kudrow who plays Phoebe is a Punarvasu Rising (conjunct her Rahu in Punarvasu) and ever since then I can't help but notice all the Punarvasu themes in Phoebe's life.

Let's start at the very beginning. Phoebe has had a very difficult childhood. She grew up extremely poor, her mother killed herself, her biological father abandoned them, her stepfather went to jail, and she lived on the streets and did not finish high school. In an earlier post, I spoke about how Jupiter-dominant women have both daddy and mommy issues and how in general Jupiter natives tend to have difficult childhoods. Phoebe's early life is textbook Jupiter in that sense.

Even more interestingly, Punarvasu nakshatra refers to the stars of Castor & Pollux in the Gemini constellation who are thought of as twins (they're named after twin brothers in Roman mythology, one who is cruel and one who is kind once again pointing to the dual nature of Jupiter)

In the show, Phoebe has a twin sister Ursula and even more interestingly, Phoebe is the nice & kind twin and Ursula is the mean, uncaring one.

random fun fact: Angelina Jolie wanted to name her unborn twins Castor & Pollux. Although she did not go through with it, her twins are Punarvasu Sun lol

anyways.

Phoebe's childlike spirit and enthusiasm is another trademark feature. She has the joie d'vivre <33 Phoebe can be seen as too random, too loud or "too much" in general and many have said that she's their least favourite character :( but this is literally Punarvasu/Jupiter nature. Jupiter is the biggest planet in our solar system, which means every other planetary dominance type operates on a level that's a gazillion types smaller (other than Saturn but Saturn has entirely different principles) people don't understand how one person can be sooo many different things. Jupiter natives are always at risk of being too brash or too forthcoming or whatever because most people operate on small reserves of energy and genuinely do not have the ability to care as much about others/literally anything or be as eclectic. Its very amusing to me that in the alt reality episode Phoebe is a stockbroker lmfao. It shows how being a carefree hippie who deeply cares about justice and fairness is such a core part of her personality and an alternate reality Phoebe is one who works a soul sucking corporate job and gets 2 heart attacks on a single day. Its also heartwarming that by the end of that episode she's back at the cafe singing. In every reality no matter how many detours there may be, her Punarvasu nature forces her to listen to her heart (literally).

Phoebe is not a good singer but she sings anyway. She has a very child like spirit that all Punarvasu natives have.

I have also noticed that most Punarvasus speak more than one language and have excellent pronunciation (Punarvasu's 2/4 padas lie in Gemini) or very convincing accents. Halsey (Punarvasu Moon) speaks some French (here's a clip of her singing in French) and she has a really good accent. Margot Robbie, Punarvasu Rising is also very good at doing accents. Shakira, Punarvasu Moon is another example, she barely has an accent when she speaks English despite it not being her first language. Phoebe is said to speak French on the show and is said to be good at it.

Phoebe has a hippie-boho style and has esoteric interests. She's very spiritual and I've always thought that Punarvasu natives are like that. Miranda Kerr, Punarvasu Moon lives a very holistic wellness-focused life, I know this also depends on other placements but Punarvasus tend to have a very spiritual bend.

She's very chaotic, random and very ditzy. That's as Punarvasu/Jupiter dominant as it gets. Phoebe is however not a doormat, she's not an airhead or someone people take advantage of, she can't be made to do anything she does not want to do. She always stands up for herself and her friends. Throughout the show you see her take a very anti-corporate stance, she supports animal rights, is a vegetarian, cares about the environment. Being passionate about social justice is a big part of a Jupiter dominant person's life.

Phoebe does not beat around the bush, she always tells it like it is. She's blunt af but not unkind or mean or selfish. In fact, she's extremely generous and compassionate.

How many people would be willing to be their brother's surrogate? that too a brother they didn't even know they had??😭😭😭

Phoebe marries rich, and to a man who deeply loves her. this is another Punarvasu theme. Since Punarvasu has themes of getting things right on the second try, sometimes Punarvasu natives marry twice.

On the show, Phoebe was originally married to another guy who she married because she wanted to help him get a green card. That again speaks volumes about her kindness and generosity. Punarvasu natives are so kind and giving its kind of stupid. Who the hell marries to help someone? It's very very rare.

Punarvasu natives are also known for their kindness and generosity. Keanu Reeves, Punarvasu Moon is known for this nature of his and Karina from Aespa is another example.

Karina was on a variety show this year after it was announced that she's the ambassador for Converse and she got the whole crew of some 20+ people Converse sneakers??😭😭In fact she's known for her generosity and always gifts the crew when she makes appearances on shows.

Another feature of Punarvasu natives is their random luck, these people are born with lucky charms tbh. Phoebe's massage client, who works at a stock exchange said she'd be good at trading and offered her a job that she declined bc she's not into it. Phoebe meets Mike on a blind date. Phoebe saw an ad for a roommate and thats how she met Monica and the rest of the crew. Phoebe has gone by her whole life on insane luck. Not many people who have had lives as difficult as hers get to experience the kind of blessings she has or retain her sense of enthusiasm and childlike wonder.

Punarvasu natives often have really difficult lives/experiences but it never breaks their spirit, it only makes them kinder. This is their most defining personality trait.

Also if we are to assume the character of Phoebe is Punarvasu Moon then all of her 20s she will have been experiencing her Saturn Mahadasha, and as the show ends, her Saturn mahadasha is also over (because she's past 30/31), she spent all her 20s as a masseuse who makes little money and sings at a cafe, by the end of it, she's married to a rich man and the quality of her life presumably improves.

Other examples of Punarvasu natives random luck includes, Halsey, Punarvasu Moon's song going viral on soundcloud when she was like 20 and being signed to a record company and getting to where she is now, Karina from Aespa was discovered through her IG profile by her current label, Priyanka Chopra, Punarvasu Sun won Miss World at 17-18 yrs old, Katrina Kaif, Punarvasu Sun was modelling in London as a teenager when she got a chance to work on a Bollywood film and now she's one of the biggest stars in India. Shakira, Punarvasu Moon was signed to Sony Columbia when she was 13 (look up the story of how she met that executive, it's so crazy), Caroline Polachek, Punarvasu Moon was selling CDs of her band's album out of a van for $5 which was then bought by a woman who's bf had a popular radio show and played the music on his show, which was then heard by an Apple studio executive who then used the song on an early iPod commercial which was then heard by an executive at Columbia Records who signed them. Mariah Carey, Punarvasu Moon met Tommy Mottola, head of Columbia Records at a party and gave him her demo tape, which he listened to on the car on the way home from the party, he loved it so much he turned the car around to go back and find her but she had already left the party and he spend 2 weeks looking for her, eventually found her and signed her and the rest as they say is history.

#astrology notes #astrology observations #sidereal astrology #vedic astro notes #nakshatras #vedic astrology #astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astroblr #jyotish #phoebe buffay #punarvasu #jupiter

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frailbug · 11 months ago

Note

top albums of all time?

in rainbows by radiohead

four calendar cafe cocteau twins

the best of sade

6 feet beneath the moon king krule

both by okay kaya

really hard question to answer but here are the albums i’ve had on repeat for several years now

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rems-writing · 5 months ago

Text

An encounter with a Moon Knight

Pairing: Apollo!Hongjoong × MoonKnight!reader (platonic)

Warning(s): It starts out so well and then it gets depressing at the end

Genre: Fluff with an angsty ending

Nets: @blossomnet @mirohs-aurora-society

Context: Apollo is the god of music and the sun. He has a twin sister named Artemis, who is the goddess of the hunt and the moon.

Side note: ok originally I was gonna put the reader as a demigod. However, due to the fact that I didn't finish the PJO series on Disney Plus, I had to improvise

Once I catch up on the PJO series, maybe I'll write this trope again. But we'll see! Anyways

Includes: Yunho as Thor, Yeosang as Ptah, San as Hercules, Wooyoung as Loki, and Jongho as Sekhmet. There will be a tiny mention of Seonghwa as Anubis, but other than that, the ancient Egyptian god of the dead is completely gone. In addition, Mingi will not be in this as well. If you want to know where Seonghwa and Mingi have gone, you may read this so you can find them.

Thank you to @bunnliix for helping me decide the order of the fics I should write and post

In Greece's city square, people all around are doing the most normal things. From buying food/groceries at market stands to walking and chatting amongst themselves about whatever is going on in their lives, it seems like life is easy going, especially for the young god of music and the sun.

The Olympians know him as Apollo, but the mortals know him as Hongjoong.

Hongjoong was at a small cafe drinking coffee and munching on a sandwich slowly as he writes notes on empty staff paper, occasionally dipping his quill into an inkpot if he ran out of ink. He hums softly to himself whilst notating the melody at the same time. It was just another average day for him and he couldn't have been happier.

Until he heard a commotion from outside.

Snapping his head up, he looked out the window to see people gathering around or running towards the crowd to gather around. Looking at his surroundings, he waited until the coast was clear before snapping his fingers. The materials on the table disappeared, except for his coffee and sandwich. He packed up it and stood up from his table before bidding goodbye to the cafe's owner and exiting the small coffee shop so he could join the crowd.

He approached the crowd and squeezed through carefully to see what was going on. He asked one of the people for context on what was happening and that person simply pointed out something that was laying on the ground. Hongjoong turned his head slowly and his face paled.

That wasn't something.

It was someone.

As he got closer, his godly senses were on high alert. It didn't help that the crowd closed in on him now while he crouched down to see who this person was. A silent gasp escaped his lips as he saw the face of the person that was laying on the ground unconscious.

It was one of Khonshu's Moon Knights.

More specifically, it was the Moon Knight that Seonghwa Anubis explicitly told his godly brethren to not go near at all costs.

Y/N.

As the Spector twin laid unconscious, Hongjoong breathed in deeply before standing up to address the crowd.

"GUYS, IF YOU COULD PLEASE TAKE A STEP BACK AND ALLOW A BIT OF BREATHING ROOM FOR OUR GUEST! I'LL TAKE CARE OF THEM!"

His voice rang out throughout the city square and the people, albeit still concerned or curious, obeyed his command and stepped back as much as possible so he could pick up the unconscious twin and carry them to safety.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You didn't know how you ended up in Greece, yet you did either way.

One minute, you were with Marc in some random town to try and complete this fuckass mission Khonshu sent you guys on. The next minute, the both of you were thrown out of said town and went flying across the globe. You had no idea where your brother was and you were panicking. You felt a hand on your shoulder and you instantly knew that there was a godly presence behind you. Frozen in your place, you slowly looked up to see a kind man looking down at you with concern.

And he was pretty.

Soft lips, pretty nose, high cheekbones, brown eyes that were comforting, and an even prettier smile. His body was clad in an off-white t-shirt with some logo on it and a pair of black gym shorts.

What caught your attention the most was the tattoo peeking out of his sleeve. You tilted your head to the side to try and read it.

"No1LikeMe"

Even though your voice was hoarse, Hongjoong's smile grew bigger as you read the words on his tattoo out loud. You seemed calmer now, which was exactly what he wanted. He sat down next to you on the bed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Are you ok?"

His voice was soft and a bit high pitched yet it carried a light feeling as he spoke. You nodded and stretched a bit before sighing and looking at him.

"Thanks for rescuing me. Um... weird question, but which god are you? I sensed a powerful aura when you approached me."

"Ahh. That's fine. My human name is Kim Hongjoong, but in this city's mythology, I'm known as Apollo."

You nodded in acknowledgement to his answer. You studied up on a bit of Greek mythology when you were younger so to have the god of music sitting right next to you was a bit overwhelming but in a good way.

"How long was I out?"

"For about three days."

THREE DAYS?!

WELL SHIT

You laughed awkwardly and were prepared to apologize when you felt his hand grab yours gently. You noticed that he had his pinky finger painted in an olive-green nail polish. You thought that was unique.

"Don't apologize, Y/N. I assumed you were on a mission and somehow, it went sideways and you ended up crash landing here."

Seeing the apprehension on your face due to him knowing your name without you telling him, Hongjoong quickly clarified.

"Before you ask, Anubis told us about you. How he let you go since he would feel even worse if he took you to the Field of Reeds at such a young age after dying underneath the statue of Khonshu."

Upon hearing the old bird's name, you cringed.

"Speaking of that fuckass pigeon, we were on a mission for him. The enemy was strong and we got defeated easily. Hence, how I landed here."

Hongjoong nodded in acknowledgement as you clarified your unannounced presence.

"Ahh. I see. If I may ask, are you in a rush to get back on that mission? If not, I can ask my sister to fend off Khonshu whilst you recover and find a way to contact Marc."

Upon hearing Artemis's name, you nodded eagerly. She was your favorite moon deity and Olympian goddess so you took Hongjoong's offer up quickly.

"Will I have to do anything for her in return?"

"Other than maybe hunt some things for her, not really. Just recover. I'll help you find a way to get in touch with Marc."

"Thank you, Apollo."

"Just call me Hongjoong. Hearing my official name makes our friendship too formal."

You blushed out of awkwardness and Hongjoong patted your head before snapping his fingers. A record player appeared and his music was playing in the background. The soft melody made you relax and forget about everything as you laid down and fell back asleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That encounter happened three months ago. Ever since then, Hongjoong has been keeping up with updates about you through Artemis. As he sat in the same spot in the cafe and composed more music, his mind was completely in the zone.

Until Artemis sprinted into the cafe in her own human disguise and haphazardly sat across from him.

Startled by her sudden appearance, Hongjoong flinched and looked up. Usually, Artemis was calm and neutral so seeing her all frazzled and bewildered was unsettling.

"What's wrong, dear sister?"

"I've been given a message from Taweret. She said that you need to meet up with your friends for a meeting. With the urgency in her voice, I fear it's something bad."

Hongjoong nodded firmly and packed up everything before snapping his fingers and transporting himself from the cafe to the usual meet up place.

A secret room within The Colosseum.

He was soon met with the faces of his beloved friends.

Jeong Yunho, aka Thor Odinson

Kang Yeosang, aka Ptah

Choi San, aka Hercules

Jung Wooyoung, aka Loki Laufeyson

And Choi Jongho, aka Sekhmet

He saw a curly haired woman sitting in Seonghwa's Anubis's place and he instantly recognized who she was.

Layla El-Faouly, the wife of Marc Spector.

She served as Taweret's temporary avatar before so Hongjoong assumed that the hippo goddess asked permission to take over Layla once again since she can't leave the Duat.

"Hello, Layla. It's nice to meet you." Hongjoong politely said and Layla shyly waved. San raked over her awkward form and he was about to say something when Wooyoung whacked him over the head.

"San! She's married! And she's only here for a short time. So stop it!" Wooyoung hissed.

Ever since the Norse god of mischief started dating that Avenger in his timeline, Hongjoong noticed an air of maturity surrounding him. He was still playful and silly, but this time, he actually took things seriously.

Hongjoong noticed Layla stand straight momentarily before going back to normal. However, instead of the French accent she spoke with, a British accent came out of her mouth.

Taweret was here.

As the hippo goddess wrung her hands nervously, she looked to the rest of the gods, who were watching her intently.

"Um... so. I have an announcement for you all."

She breathed in and out shakily before continuing to speak.

"A lot of you are wondering why Anubis isn't here. Well... there is a reason. But at the end of the day, I am just the messenger."

She held out her hand and a scarab appeared. As it flew in her hand, its bioluminescent wings shone brightly to make a screen appear.

In the screen was Seonghwa, aka Anubis

"Hi, everyone. If you're seeing this message, then that means... I'm truly gone."

Everyone gasped, including Hongjoong. Only Yeosang and Jongho were the only ones that weren't as shocked with this revelation.

They knew.

"I'm not really dead per say, but... I've decided to join the mortal world. My memories as the ancient Egyptian god of the dead have been left behind in the Duat. I am a new man in a new body with a clear mind and an open clean heart. You may be wondering to yourselves now. Why would I do this?"

Hongjoong had a feeling but he decided to let his friend say it.

"As all of you were aware, Y/N was in the Duat momentarily when that follower of Ammit shot my beloved twice and left them to die."

Everyone cringed at Ammit's name, including Yunho. And he was usually the brightest god in their friend group.

"I took care of them and made sure they went back with Taweret to the land of the living so they could stop Ammit's wrath. However, in the process... my heart was broken once more."

A quiet sniffle from the god made Hongjoong's heart lurch in pain.

"I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to keep them to myself. However, if I did, then Ammit would've taken over the world. And I couldn't have that. I expressed my frustration with Taweret. She told me that I could be reunited with Y/N... for a small price."

A lone tear ran down the god's face.

"Did I pay it? Yes. Was it worth it...?"

The god smiled sadly yet it was bright and full of love.

"Yes. It was. By the time this message ends, I will most likely be in a new body with a new name. Do not search for me. Rather... remember me and make sure my old name lives on. Goodbye, my dear friends. May we reunite again someday."

The message soon ends and Taweret made the scarab disappear before comforting a crying Yunho. Wooyoung was comforting San while Hongjoong exchanged a knowing look with Yeosang and Jongho.

The three of them knew that this day would come. And yet...

They can't help the small grins on their faces. After all...

Their friend deserved to be happy.

#blossomnet #mirohsaurorasociety #ateez #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #greek mythology #greek gods #moon knight

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jellybean-supreme · 6 months ago

Text

Secrets to be kept (Byron X Reader)

Description

Mermaid Reader X Surfer Byron

Y/ń is Cleo's twin sister, but her type is different from her sisters, she likes surfers and her sister likes well Lewis. Y/ń and Byron have been friends for a while. Then all of a sudden Y/ń stops surfing and Byron gets worried about her. Will he find out what's wrong ?

Lewis 16

Cleo 15

Emma 15

Byron 16

Rikki 15

Chapter 1

Y/n Pov:

Byron and I were on our way to the beach for some surfing. Byron and I reached the beach around 5am. We set our boards on the sand and I checked my phone for messages from Cleo. She had asked me if I would like to spend some time with Emma, Rikki and her, and as I did not have any other plans for the day, I agreed to go along. Cleo instructed me to meet them at a bridge near Emma's swim spot.

"You all right?" Byron asked me.

"Yeah, I'm fine, let's go," I replied.

I asked him if he would like a drink at the JuiceNet Cafe, as Byron and I had been surfing for a while.

"Byron, what time is it? I have to meet Cleo and the girls at 12."

"It's 11 o'clock, what are you guys going to do?" Asked Byron.

"I'm not really sure, Cleo just asked me to join her," I replied.

"Oh, I hope it isn't anything tedious."

"Its been great surfing with you Byron, looking forward to seeing you this evening."

"I am sorry but I am going to have to cancel this evening as I want to practice my swimming."

"Sure, no worries, I will see you tomorrow," I replied.

I went to the bridge to meet up with Emma, Cleo and Rikki. On the way I saw Cleo and Rikki on Zane's dinge. It was one of his many new ones.

"Want to go for a ride?" Rikki asked.

"Have you got a licence?" Emma asked seriously

"Are you my mum?" Rikki asked with a chuckle

Cleo and I chuckled along with her.

"Let's go" I said excitedly.

We headed out into the deeper water near the island of Mako. I loved that island. It was so beautiful.

"Uhhh guys, we may have a problem," Rikki said.

"What's wrong Rikki?" I, asked.

"We've run out of petrol," Rikki said.

"WHAT," Emma and Cleo shouted.

"Cool!" I said

"IT'S NOT COOL, Y/N, WE COULD BE STRANDED HERE FOREVER," shouted Cleo.

"Jeez, you don't need to get so upset," I said.

"We could go there," Rikki said pointing at Mako Island.

"Mako, you mean?" Emma asked.

"No way, there are sharks," Cleo said, scared.

In spite of everything, we headed for Mako Island. Emma remembered her phone and tried to make a call to test the signal, but when she realised she wasn't getting any, she decided to go deeper into the island to try and get some. We decided to go with her to make sure she stayed safe.

I jumped across, with Emma and Rikki following. "Everybody, watch where you step," I said. We were all waiting for Cleo. She was about to jump when she fell into a hole and we followed her because she told us she had hurt her ankle.

After we went down the hole with Cleo, we looked for a way out. Then we saw something that looked like a pool. Emma investigated the pool to see if it led to an exit. After a few tense minutes of my sister worrying about Emma, she rejoined us and informed us that we could swim through the pool looking thing to the outside. She estimated that it would take us only 20 seconds to reach the sea. We all got into the pool except Cleo, who can't swim. Rikki and Emma offered to help her and she agreed. When she finally got into the water, I'm not sure what happened, but the moon was right above us and there were glowing particles.

We all got out of the water unharmed, the water police then escorted us out of the water and we all returned to our respective homes.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

The next day, Byron and I went back to the beach, but this time to a beach with bigger waves. As I was getting ready to go into the water, I noticed that my wetsuit was getting stuck to my bikini.

"Hey Byron," I ask, reddened like tomatoes. "Before you go into the water, can you help me with my wetsuit, it's stuck?"

Byron replied, "Sure," as his cheeks began to turn pink.

I blushed even more at the sensation of his gentle touch as he placed his hands on my back.

"There you go," Byron said with a smile and a hint of blush on his face, "shall we go surfing?"

"Thank you," I said, trying to hide my blushing.

"Yep, let's surf."

About 10 seconds into the water, I turned into something. I don't know what. But I looked exactly like a mermaid. I told Byron I had to go, luckily he didn't see me change. I hoped he wouldn't be upset that i had to leave, thankfully he understood. I got out of the water somewhere where no one could see me and I had a go at drying myself off, but it didn't work. I was in such a state of frustration, I didn't have a clue what the hell was wrong with me. It was at that moment that I felt a sharp sting on my tail. I looked up and saw that I had somehow managed to start drying my tail off.

Then, my legs appeared and I was dry everywhere. But how did that happen?' I asked myself in my head.

Besties [A/N This is a group chat. Y= the first letter of your name C= Cleo E= Emma R =Rikki ]

Y: GUYS HELP!

Y: WE HAVE TO TALK, LIKE NOW

Y: PLEASE!

E: ARE YOU OKAY?

E: There is something that I have to tell you as well.

Y: NO, NOT AT ALL!

R: ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

R: LET'S MEET AT CLEOS.

Y: ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU IN A COUPLE OF MINS.

C: See ya.

Byron❤️

Y: Hey Byron, I'm sorry I left you on the beach, I wasn't feeling too good.

B: That's all right, are you feeling better? I was worried about you.

Y: Don't worry, I'm fine now, I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you, Byron.

B: It's OK, I'm glad you're all right.

Y: Talk to you later, bye byron☺️

B: Bye :)

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

When I arrived, Cleo, Rikki and Emma were already there.

Cleo: "it was orange and it was covered in scales"

Emma: The moment I hit the water-

Rikki: I was water for a second.

Y/N: I was a fish.

Cleo: What's happening to us?

Emma: That's what I'd like to know.

Rikki: Is there anybody else here?

Cleo: No, my dad is working and my sister and Mum went shopping.

Y/n: OK, what happened to us? About 10 seconds after we come into contact with the water, we grow these...

Rikki: Tails, and then they go away when we're dry. And it's the same with you? Isn't it?

Y/n: The tails are exactly like...

Rikki: Like mermaids.

Emma: I've already told you. You're not funny. Mermaids don't exist. It's just............too weird.

Right then there was a knock on the door.

Cleo: Oh no, it's Lewis. I forgot he's helping me with Biology today.

Lewis: Cleo? Oh - have I got the time wrong?

Cleo: No, we said 9.00. But, sorry Lewis, something's come up.

Lewis: Like what?

Cleo: "Just something important, but not so important that you need to know, sorry Lewis, have to cancel, maybe another time". Cleo was quiet for a second, then it looked like she had an idea. "Lewis, you are a smart guy. Do you have any knowledge about mermaids?"

Lewis: No, not really

Cleo: "OK, sorry, goodbye."

"What?" Cleo asked.

Emma: "Do you know anything about mermaids?" Are you crazy?

Y/n: Cleo, this is really serious, if anyone finds this, we're going to be so screwed

Cleo: You're right, I'm sorry.

After talking we all went our separate ways. Cleo went to study with Lewis at the Juicenet Cafe, Emma went home to call her swimming coach that she was quitting, Rikki went who knows where and I, well I'm going to call Byron that I'm not surfing anymore.

Byron ❤️

Y: Byron, hi!

B: Hey Y/n, ready to surf tonight?

Y: Byron, do you think we could meet up instead? I've got something to tell you, but I don't want to say it on the phone.

B: Yeah, of course, let's meet in the garden that we found.

Y: All right, meet me in about 2 minutes.

B: See you there.

[][] Time skip[][]

This is what you are wearing.

You can choose between these [ you don't have to wear these, you can choose whatever you like, these are just a few ideas ].

This the garden

"Byron, hey, thanks for coming," I say with a sad expression on my face.

"Yeah, no problem, everything ok? " Byon says with a concerned look on his face.

"I just wanted to let you know. I won't be surfing anymore. Something personal happened. I say on the verge of tears.

Chapter 2

"Byron, hey, thanks for coming," I say with a sad expression on my face.

"Yeah, no problem, everything ok? " Byon says with a concerned look on his face.

"I just wanted to let you know. I won't be surfing anymore. Something personal happened. I say on the verge of tears.

"What..." Byron says, confused and saddened in his voice.

"I can't go surfing anymore," I said as the tears started to roll down my cheeks.

Byron didn't say anything, he just came over and hugged me, crying too. I hugged back.

"I said in a low voice, "Please tell me that you're not angry with me.

"I'm not angry," Byron whispered softly in my ear.

"Byron whispers with sadness in his voice, "Tell me we can still hang out, it doesn't have to be on the beach.

"Of course Byron, you're my best friend," I say with a forced smile, I've never liked using the word friend to describe my feelings for Byron.

"Are you free tomorrow night?". There is something I want to ask you,' Byron says as he wipes the tears from my face.

"Y-yeah, sure," I say. The blush spreads across my face like a wild fire.

" Well, I've got to go, y/n," Byron says shyly, his face starting to blush.

"Bye Byron, see you tomorrow," I kiss him on the cheek and quickly leave a red-faced Byron behind.

*A few days later

I have been ignoring Byron for the last two days or so. I wanted to hear what he had to say to me, but I told him I couldn't come because I felt sick. But I wasn't. I felt weird after kissing him. I told him that we were still going to hang out and talk. But after what I had done, I couldn't. During the time I was ignoring Byron, I had a lot of thoughts about my feelings for Byron. Did I love him? Did he love me? Would we even be able to make it last as a couple? Why should I have feelings towards Byron? Well, he had the most beautiful eyes, the kind that can make you forget to think, and that smiling face, the way he talks to me when I'm sad, the way he hugs me when I'm cold, oh god, I love, I love Byron. I cannot confess. It'd be a blow to our friendship. I'm never going to do that. Because there is no way in hell that he would want to be with me at all. He'd be better off going out with Cleo or Emma anyway. My thoughts were cut short by Cleo, who was calling me.

" Hey Y/N, come down here!" Cleo calls out.

" Coming!"

I walk down the steps and see Byron sitting on the couch, looking up at me.

"Y/n, hey," Byron says as he gets up.

"Hi," I say quietly.

"Can we talk, please?" Byron asks as Cleo takes that as her Q to leave.

"Erm...sure.

"Can we go to our spot?" Byron asks.

"Sure," I answer in a soft, quiet voice.

Your going to a beach with big waves, it hard to find, but its secrest surf spots for only a few locals. It has a small beach that goes along way until it reaches some rocks.

Let's go walk along the beach,' I say and Byron just nods.

"Y/n, have you been ignoring me?" Byron asks quietly.

"N-no, I haven't." I say.

"Can I talk to you about what I wanted to say to you the last time I saw you?"

"Of course you can Byron." I give him a smile that is slightly forced. I thought he was going to tell me he had a girlfriend or something the last time he said he wanted to talk to me.

" I wanted to tell you that I like you, I like you a lot, y/n, more than friends, even best friends. I understand if..." I cut him off with a kiss on the lips.

I can't believe I did that.

He kissed me back.

We pulled our lips away from one another. "I whispered in his ear, "I like you too, Byron.

Chapter 3 Finale

Byron and I have been going out for a few weeks now. Today I am going to show him why I have stopped surfing with him. I'm really nervous to tell him. Would he be upset that I didn't tell him sooner?

❤️Byron ❤️

Y: Hey Byron, can you meet me at our beach spot?

B: Hey, bae, yeah, sure. Is everything all right?

Y: Yeah, I just have something I need to tell you.

B: Ok, see you in 5 :)

Y: Bye :)

The Beach your going to is 5hqt same one as the previous chapter.

Wear whatever you'd like

He's wearing board shorts with a t and no shoes.

"Hey, bae," Byron says to you. He gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"Hi," you say softly.

"I wanted to talk to you.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just need to tell you why I've actually stopped surfing with you".

"Okay? Are you sure you want to? I don't want you to feel like you have to tell me."

"Yes, I'm sure."

"So do you remember the time I went out with Emma, Cleo and Rikki?" He nods, "Well, Rikki rescued Cleo from one of Zane's pranks and then Rikki picked up Emma and me. So we were out near Mako when we ran out of petrol and we paddled over to Mako to see if Emma could get a signal, she couldn't so we tried to get higher up. But that was when Cleo fell down into a hole. Rikki, Emma and I went in after her. It was too steep to climb back up and she had hurt her ankle." Byron looked worried and nodded his head as if he was telling me to keep going. "So then we tried to find a way out and we saw a pool like thing, we called it the Moon Pool. Anyway, Emma went through to see if we could swim through it. We could. Then Cleo got really scared that she was going to drown. So it took a while to get her to go in, but when she finally did, the moon was over us and all of a sudden there were these beautiful particles, they were really beautiful. Then we simply swam out of the moonpool to the open water. We all went home after the water police found us. But the next day, when we touched the water, we were transformed into mermaids. That's why I had to leave so early when we went surfing".

"That's quite .............something."

"Yeah..."

"You're not mad that i didn't tell you earlier?

"Of course not, I'm just surprised. Can I see? You know, you can turn into a mermaid?"

"Sure, would you like to swim with me? "

"Yea," Byron says, smiling gently at you, "let's go.

You walk into the water after the ten seconds wait you fall flat on your face.

Your tail is a beautiful pearl colour with black/very dark purple lines.

"Wow.....you look incredible ❣️" Byron says. His face is flushed.

"T-Thanks"

"Wanna go swimming?" Byron asks as he holds his board in his hand.

"Sure," you say with a smile on your face as the blush spreads all over your face.