#twas a good brainstorm

[goatsandgangsters]

Favorites of 2022

I was tagged by @inkdrawndreamer (thank you!) 

there’s no rules, but I’ve decided to give myself parameters of “read/seen for the first time this year / had a new season” for books/movies/shows to narrow the scope and not drive myself bonkers with indecision. songs is a free-for-all of whatever I was boppin to 

Favorite books: A Marvellous Light and A Restless Truth, both by Freya Marske

I read AML in the spring and it’s single-handedly responsible for me not meeting my goodreads goal, because I loved it sO MUCH that I wanted to bask in it until the sequel came out instead of reading anything new 

Favorite movies: the new West Side Story (SO well done), Glass Onion (accidentally saw it in theaters despite not knowing when it came out or that it was a limited release), The Sea Beasts, Fire Island 

Favorites songs: MCR’s entire discography because this was The Year of MCR, Finally. the overwhelming majority of which is not New or even New To Me, but shoutout to Foundations of Decay for dropping out of nowhere and being an absolute banger. and to the b-sides I didn’t previously know but immediately put on repeat in the pre-concert lead up

Favorite shows: Interview with the Vampire, Gentleman Jack, A League of Their Own (good year for gay period TV) 

Favorite Memories: a mostly chronological recap: getting my boobs gone, seeing the Into the Woods revival, going to the MET a bunch of times,  refreshing and updating some of my wardrobe for the first time in a while (I’m excited about it tbh), getting new blorbos to obsess over (see above: favorite books), going to a museum by myself for a particular exhibit and spending 2+ hours just in the exhibit because I decided to read Every Single Plaque, a friend from Australia visited for a month and it was nice to do activities with her and show her the sights, enjoying summer with No Boobs and sitting around my sweltering apartment in an open bathrobe, feeling newly at home in my body and really just reveling in that in all kinds of ways both big and small, getting new glasses for the first time in ages, going to botanical gardens, exploring new places because my partner moved to [redacted], ogling architecture, seeing MCR, seeing MCR again, seeing MCR some more, going to an emo night, taking time off for a birthday staycation in november, and capping it all off with some chill time with my family for christmas and a fun new year’s eve with friends 

tagging: @meyerlansky, @adriansfrombrooklyn, @notgrungybitchin, @opheliaintherushes, @platoapproved, @holy-muffins, @esssteee, @darkolaism, @louisdelac and any of you lovely followers who feel like doing this (you can use whatever parameters you choose—I just picked Mostly New To Me for my own ease) 

[phyrestartr]

Man of Worship (P.1) | Zagreus x M!Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

w/c: 2.3k #NSFW themes, demigod reader, eventual polyamory, traumatic past, healing from trauma, mentions of dub-con, mentions of suicide, hurt/comfort, boys being boys, toxic parents, olympic gods doing typical olympic god bs

Note: SO this is basically a rework of Rhubarb, even though I still want to pursue the rest of Rhubarb with that particular reader character, HOWEVER I generally make two or three versions of the same story while I'm brainstorming, and I ended up digging into more Greek mythos while looking for inspo and BOOM.

ANYWAY I didn't tag for this since it's a new fandom I'm writing for, but if you'd like to be tagged, pls feel free to leave a comment!! I'll update my tag form thing in a moment too :D I hope this is a fun read!!

--

1. A Gardener?

He noticed first the flutter of feathered wings. It was an odd thing to hear in the underworld, and even odder still to hear it come from the outer gardens–the place poor, pitiful Zagreus was barred from. 

Father won't tell me anything of this. And that was true--Hades was anything but straightforward and honest with his son. So, to the real parent of the house was where the prince went.

“Erm, Nyx?” Zagreus asked, shooting glances back at the iron gates as he met his mother-figure. “I've got a question for you, if you don't mind.”

“I do not mind. I will do my best to answer, my child.” She watched him with eased attention, then followed his gaze to the forbidden outdoors. “Is something the matter?” 

“No–well, maybe? Not sure, but. Well.” Zagreus rubbed the back of his neck. “Just–are there birds out in the garden?” 

Nyx blinked. “Birds?” 

“Yes. I keep hearing something fluttering around every now and then, and I swear I've seen something moving around in the garden. You know, the one I'm not allowed to enter?” 

“Ah.” The goddess nodded. “Of course. There is a new servant of the house, one who was chosen to tend to the gardens.”  

“Really.” Zagreus planted his hands on his hips and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, gaze returning to the forbidden area. “Well, that's the first I've heard of it.” 

“He does not linger long; he arrives with the sun, and leaves only when the work is done,” Nyx explained. “He is a diligent helper of the House. Your father is quite pleased, I've noticed.” 

“Well, I've never thought that Father could be pleased in any regards.” Zagreus’ mismatched gaze flickered back to Nyx. “But why now? The garden's never needed a tender before.”

“A flower wilted,” Nyx sighed, looking aside. “And your father has grown concerned.”

“Hah. Concerned for the plants? Good to know he can still give a damn about something,” Zagreus bit, sending a scalding glare to the throne. “Guess that's why he locked it up, kept it from me.”

Night smiled, sympathetic. “You do have a reputation.”

“One that I must uphold,” he agreed, heart light and spirit lifted higher. “Thank you, Nyx. I should get back to ransacking my father's domain.”

Nyx nodded sagely and reached a hand up, fixing the tilt of Zagreus’ burning laurel. “I would hope for nothing less, my child.” 

–

“You play music?” 

Your voice startled Zagreus, sending a Zeus-like jolt through him and holding him in place with a fit of numbing static. Thankfully, however, twas not the true bite of the sky king, and Zagreus had the luxury to back out of his room a few paces. 

“You heard?” He asked, face somehow both paling and burning in tandem.

You, whilst leaning against the iron gate, nodded. “‘N if I did?”

“Oh.” Zagreus rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “That's unfortunate. Sorry for the bother.”

“Don't misunderstand me, god.” Your spectral eyes bore into him with easy confidence. Zagreus quite liked that look. “You played much like a dying pigeon at first, I'll admit, but you've improved.” 

Zagreus laughed and approached you. Your dry informality pricked him with intrigue. “Well, now I know you're lying.”

“Lies are useless for those who need the truth.” Your words came so bold, the prince had no choice but to believe you. “I can hear it. The notes–they come easier to you. Sweeter, even. Like figs ripe on the tree.” 

“Figs?” Zagreus tilted his head much like Cerberus might. “Huh. Can't say I've had one of those.” 

“Really? Well, then I shall see to it that you wonder no longer, god.” You leaned away, nearly out of sight of the iron-barred gateway, and jostled through the leaves of a bush or tree of sorts before the sharp snap of something announced your return. 

You stuck your arm through a gap in the fence, one where your glowing skin was threatened by a cascade of decorative thorns, but you didn't much care. That care, instead, found itself funneled into the deliverance of a ripe fig to the prince of the underworld, it seemed. 

Zagreus stared for a moment. He wasn't used to receiving gifts unless he bestowed one upon another, first. To him, this almost felt like–could it be--

“If you don't take it in the next three seconds, I'm going to eat it myself and not hand you another,” you groused.

“Hah.” He snatched the fruit from your hand. “You wouldn't dare.” 

“I've dared much worse, god, believe me.” You withdrew your hand and drummed your palms against the iron. “Well, enjoy. And be sure to clean your hands before touching that lyre again.” You looked him over, face placid as it'd been for his entire short history knowing you–but your eyes, the strange things, they hinted at hidden curiosities. “I'll be listening.” 

–

“Say, Meg, do you know much about the new House attendant?” Zagreus asked, flourishing his Stygian blade as he walked towards the Fury, prepared to fight after a quick chat.

Megaera's eyes narrowed. “You're talking about the flirt.”

“The flirt?” Zagreus rested his sword down, digging its diamond tip into the cracked ground. “Is that really what he's known for? Flirting? He doesn't seem like the type.”

A heavy sigh left Meg. “Ask Than. He might be more willing to endure your rambling and answer questions. I am not.” 

“You know, I think we really need to work on your patience.” Still, he flicked up his blade of the underworld, and lunged first. 

–

As the Fates would have it, Thanatos was already at the House. Even more fateful, still, was where he stood–not by the river Styx, no, but by the garden’s gate for a change. Death's presence on that side of the house seemed…odd, despite his infrequent visits to the lounge. Never before did he show interest in a coworker, neither, not unless it was his twin who needed some firm and stringent guidance. 

“Admiring the flowers?” Zagreus asked, and Death flinched. 

“No, I–” He sighed, and spared a look over his shoulder. “What do you want, Zagreus?” 

The shorter one shrugged, and stood beside his age-old friend. “Came to find you. Is that so odd?” 

“If you're going to shove more nectar in my hands, then you can forget it.” Thanatos looked away again and scowled beyond iron bars. “You've made your bed.”

Zagreus stifled a sigh, and rubbed the back of his neck. “I–well–in all honesty, I had a question, one that I'd hoped you could answer.”

“Then ask.”

“Right to the point then.” Zagreus cleared his throat and shuffled closer to Death. “Who exactly is the new gardener? Meg said you might know.” 

Thanatos graced him with a wide-eyed stare. “I thought you'd know by now.”

Zagreus shrugged. “I wouldn't be asking if I knew.” 

“He is–” Death paused, his jaw tightening, tendons threatening to snap. “Why do you want to know?”

Zagreus convinced himself not to pry. “We haven't had a new servant of the House in, well, eternities. Father wouldn't allow just anyone in here.” 

“Sure, but don't you think you should ask him yourself?”

“It's hard to catch him. He's quite flighty, as Fate would have it. Must be the wings.” 

“Must be.” Zagreus swore he heard the inkling of a smile on those words. “Well, I don't think it's fair for me to spoil the introduction. But I will say this–he was a servant of the House in life, and now continues on in death.” 

“Really?” Zagreus couldn't quite wrap his head around it. How could someone be devoted to the house before even arriving?

“Yes. He made my job easier, in some regards. Assisted, at the very least,” Death said.

“Huh.” Zagreus crossed his arms and scuffed his sole against time-worn stone. “Guess that explains that. I don't suppose you'd be willing to go into elaborate detail regarding what exactly our avian gardener did in life to earn yours and Father's favour? Or, even just his name?” 

“No.” A luminous wash of turquoise licked off Death's shoulders, his scythe. “Ask him yourself. I've work to do.”

And with the toll of a bell, he was gone. 

–

It took a while to catch you again. Apparently, you kept to a strict, self-imposed schedule that Zagreus couldn't even begin to understand despite its simplicity. Nyx told him you arrived come morning, at the very least. That may have been helpful, if Zagreus could tell the damn time in the underworld. 

So, he resorted to guessing; if he could not find you through the convenience of your daily routine, he'd swing by whenever he died. He was bound to run into you at some point. 

And he did. It was when he wandered to the lounge, eager to deliver a wealth of fish to the head chef, that he caught the ghostly sound of feathers against leaves.

Zagreus backed out of the lounge in time to see your curious glance. A rush pulsed through him–finally, finally, he'd get his chance to interrogate you.

“Hey!” He called. 

“Hey,” You called back. 

“Just--don’t go anywhere. I need to hand over some river denizens and then I need to speak with you,” Zagreus rambled off as quickly as he could. 

Your brows furrowed, but you offered a shallow nod. “I'll wait up.”

With that, Zagreus sped by the gossiping Meg and Dusa and a gaggle of other patrons to all but throw his catch to the head chef. It was a good haul today. Hopefully that meant–ah ha. 

Zagreus rolled the bottle of nectar over in his hands. “Pleasure doing business with you,” he sang, and ran off, tucking the gift away before approaching the iron bars.

You were toiling away, a little farther in the garden than before, but not too far to escape the prince's presence. It gave him a chance to take a good look at you: simple black chiton on a well-muscled frame, wings full of bronze feathers, wild hair tied back into the smallest of ponytails. You looked quite ordinary, save for the wings. 

But your eyes had been strange: they glowed. Not with the morose cold of Ixion, but with the exact opposite. Warm. Bronze. Sunlit, maybe. He'd never known sunlight, but you must have kept a drop of it in your very soul.

“So?” You said as you meandered back to him. You walked with unbothered confidence, much different to Zagreus’ sprightly impatience. “What important matters must we discuss?”

“Your name, first of all,” the prince requested. “I am Zagreus, son of Hades and--"

“Prince of the underworld,” you added. “Well, I figured you were him. Good to have a proper introduction, I suppose.” You took a breath. “As for me, you'll call me (Name).” 

Zagreus repeated the name. It held a fullness in his mouth, something sweet and foreign, too much like the fig you'd offered him not too long ago. Maybe you were the minor god of figs (wouldn't that be something?).

“Pleased to meet you, then. I trust the garden will be well-kept in your capable hands. And wings,” Zag said. “Oh! And, ah, here--a token of thanks for your hard work.”

Your brows raised and Zagreus’ chest filled with hope; for once, your blank mask changed, and you looked less like a gorgon-born statue and more like a human. Somehow, it gave him relief.

But your expression crumpled into furrowed brows and narrowed eyes. “Nectar?” You wondered aloud. 

Zagreus nodded and slipped the bottle best he could through the gap. “Yes, I…I hope you will take it, if it pleases you.”

You examined the bottle as it slipped into your hand and leaned a shoulder up against the gate. “Odd. Why is it in the underworld?”

The tension left Zagreus’ muscles as you accepted the gift. “Not a clue. Maybe Olympus ferries some down here from time to time to try and liven things up.”

“Hah.” The mock laughter almost sounded genuine. “Dionysus would, from what I've heard of him.” You held the bottle up, watching the light reflect shards of gold and ghostly greens. “He's not so bad, that god of wine.” 

“You've met him?” Zagreus wondered.

“No,” you admitted. Your light-filled eyes found him again. “But I've met gods, when I once lived. No man should have to meet them. They bring misfortune, even the supposed good ones.” 

The prince took a sure step forward, and your eyes steeled. “Well, you're right about Dionysus,” he assured instead of scorned. “He's good. I'm sure he's had his moments, still. But I get on with him well.” I'm sure you would, too, he decided against saying; the more he took in your features, the more he realized the god's work carved into you, painting you unnatural colours and robbing you of something only humans could have. He didn't think you'd much enjoy being forced into a hypothetical with them. 

“Then I shall take your word for it,” you said. “And I will pretend this bottle comes from Dionysus, to make it more palatable.”

“Well, whatever pleases you.” Zagreus smiled and leaned against the wall by the gate. “But, if I may ask, which gods have you–”

“Boy,” Hades’ voice thundered, echoing down the hall. “Do not disturb the rest of the House and distract them from their duties. Unlike you, they do not wish to disappoint.” 

Zagreus clicked his tongue and looked over his shoulder. “Yes, of course, Father. I'll get right to ignoring every blasted person in this damn House. Perhaps I'll consider a life of solitude while I'm at it!” 

“Do not test me further, boy.”

Zagreus rolled his eyes, but gave in, finding your (gentler?) eyes once again. “Well. I'd more than happily argue with my father all day–or night–about this, but I wouldn't want you to bear the punishment.” 

You nodded a little and glanced from the prince back down to the bottle. “I appreciate this, princeling.”

“It's nothing, really.” Though Zagreus did indeed beam with delight. “Well, then I'll leave you to your work.”

“Be sure to come back. I need to return the favour,” you said as you turned. “Until then, princeling.”

[breelandwalker]

Cold Moon - December 26, 2023

Bundle up, witches! It's time for the Cold Moon!

Cold Moon

The Cold Moon is the name given to the full moon which occurs in the month of December, particularly appropriate this year as the full moon will occur late in the month, smack in the middle of the bleak midwinter.

This will be another month when the moon appears full for two nights in a row, so we'll have a full moon for Christmastime, with peak illumination on Dec 26th at 7:33pm EST. (A perfect aesthetic for those who are fans of the classic poem "A Visit From St Nicholas" aka "Twas the Night Before Christmas." Personally, I'm holding out hope that we'll have the snowy conditions to match, though it's a long shot.)

Like most full moon names, the Cold Moon takes its' moniker from an English translation of a traditional name used by one or more North American indigenous groups. There are a number of indigenous names that reference the wintry conditions when this moon occurs, including Snow Moon (Haida, Cherokee), Winter Moon (Tunica-Biloxi), Hoar Frost Moon (Cree), and Long Night Moon (Mohican). More evocative names include Frost Exploding Trees Moon (Cree) and Moon of the Popping Trees (Oglala), both of which refer to a phenomenon which occurs during extreme cold, when the sap inside a tree freezes and the expanding pressure causes portions of the bark or even entire limbs to "pop" with loud cracking sounds that can be heard for miles.

Other names for the December moon include Yule Moon (Norse origins), Oak Moon (Celtic origins), and Bitter Moon (Chinese origins).

What Does It Mean For Witches?

The year is winding down. It's time to wrap up our projects and put aside what we haven't finished or no longer need. Rather than berating ourselves for the things we didn't finish or didn't accomplish, this is a time to give ourselves some grace and celebrate our successes and triumphs and the things we DID accomplish.

With only one page left on the calendar, many of us are already looking ahead to the new year, making plans and setting goals. This is a good time to brainstorm and engage in a bit of broad-view planning. Sketch out the things you'd like to see or do or try in the new year. Give voice to your dreams and start thinking of ways to make them happen.

The Cold Moon also falls soon after the winter solstice this year (Dec 21), which could be a boon for anyone looking to time their seasonal rituals in optimal fashion. A working could be begun on the solstice and built up to culminate on the night of the Cold Moon, just before the start of a new calendar year.

What Witchy Things Can We Do?

Have a small supper gathering with friends or family (holiday themed or not, it's up to you) to share joys and fellowship and enjoy good food and drink. Make wishes together for the new year. (Wish jars can be done individually or as an informal group ritual. Sharing wishes anonymously can be a fun party game.) A "White Elephant" gift exchange with inexpensive or homemade witchy goods for your circle could be fun too!

Make a wish jar for the new year on the winter solstice and put it out to charge under the Cold Moon. Cleanse any of your tools or crystals or accoutrements that you use moonlight for one more time this year.

This is the perfect time for divinations and goalsetting for the coming year. Pull out your favorite divination tools and your 2024 planner and sketch out the coming year. You can also try candle wax divination with holiday candles, if that's something that interests you.

Also, save those seasonal bayberry candles for future use! They're great for debt repayment and money-drawing spells.

If you need some ideas for a fun family activity, you can feed the birds for good luck, either with scattered birdseed or pinecone birdfeeders. String dried fruit slices, cinnamon sticks, pinecones, holly leaves and berries, and other seasonal faves to make garlands. Stick apples or oranges or clementines full of cloves in pretty patterns to make pomanders.

Use those fibre arts skills to create a special piece to keep your home warm and safe and well-supplied until spring. It doesn't have to be anything big - a simple weaving or single square will do. Crochet or cut out snowflakes for your home decor. If you want to get fancy, pick up a ball of cotton warp thread and look for old doily patterns - they look great as hoop weavings hung on the wall (or make a witch web in winter colors).

Make one more batch of moonwater to carry you through to the new year. If it happens to snow or freeze where you live, you can save clean snow or icicles for special (non-drinkable) elemental water, which can be a fun base for moonwater as well.

And speaking of elements, make sure to remember in all your seasonal decorating that fire safety is paramount. Be careful with your candles, warmers, light strings, plugs, extension cords, and cables. DO NOT "daisy chain" your extension cords or power strips. Never leave candles or wax warmers or simmer pots unattended, and turn off your holiday lights before bedtime. Safety first, witches!

Thanks for joining me for this exploration of full moon magic. See you next year!

Happy Cold Moon, witches! 🌕🧊

Further Reading:

Additional Lunar Calendar posts

Moon Rise Calculator - The Old Farmer's Almanac.

Cold Moon: Full Moon in December 2023, The Old Farmer's Almanac.

Full Moon December 2023: Illuminating the Cold Moon's Spiritual Meaning, The Peculiar Brunette.

How Do Trees Survive The Winter?, National Forest Foundation.

How to Make Pomander Balls, The Old Farmer's Almanac.

Fun Kid's Activity: Winter Pinecone Bird Feeder, Audubon Southwest.

Everyday Moon Magic: Spells & Rituals for Abundant Living, Dorothy Morrison, Llewellyn Publications, 2004.

(If you’re enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop. 😊)

[lavena]

Guess who unlocked a new trauma during the move in to college ✌ twas me your right. Anyway I figured this out cause I was brainstorming 07 Mikey and Don angst cause I need more of that in my life apparently and after working through it I had a moment of "wait that line I just made him say kind of resembled what I was thinking when x happened" and the the moment of realization... any way I decided why not write the fic.

Here we go, dont mind the trash story line there is a reason I don't write much, I can't get the idea on to paper before I changes in my head again.

A light knock was heard outside the lab,

"Hey Dee, I- I have to leave"

Donatello, fully invested in the toaster Leo had managed to break in the less than 3 months he's been back.

"What do you mean Mikey, your birthday gigs don't start till next week, unless Jessie decides Michael really needs a-"

As he turned around removing his glasses he noticed the duffle slung over his only little brothers shoulder.

"Oh you mean- I though we were done" he says, a sad look ghosting over his features.

"I did too, but-" Michelangelo says, a slight hitch in his throat as he look down to the left, biting his lower lip as his eyes become glassy, fingers clenching against the worn soft strap of the duffle.

"Okay" Donnie takes a breath as the word catches in his throat. He forces a swallow before continuing,

"Okay, how long do you think?"

"Shouldn't be more than an hour, two tops," he says shrugging, shoulders remaining by his ears, " It hasn't left my mind since Thursday, its all planned out"

God, Donnie was gonna bang his big brothers skulls together, but that wouldn't help anything.

Taking a deep breath Don placed a small smile on his face, nowhere near reaching his eyes like when Mikey would come home and sneak him a piece of carrot cake back when Leo and Raph would still get on his shell for messing up his eating habits.

"Okay, I'll pop up in about an hour and join you. I'll bring some Antonio's with me, just for me and you, those bozos can have cold pasta,"

Michael's eyes rose again to meet his, a small smile spreading, "and you'll have Woody make it?"

Rolling his eyes Donnie responds, " yes, yes of course just the way you like it, too much cheese for any sane person and a bad of skittles"

A fond look comes over Mikeys features before fading again as a thought crosses his mind.

" I'll- I'll see you then, I love you Donnie,"

Turning on his heel and speeding away Mikey leaves for either of their big brothers can come and ask where he is going.

" I love you too Mike" Donnie says quietly, concern spreading deep into his bones.

Shaking out his suddenly cold fingers, Don turns to finish fixing the damn toaster, quicker this time, like shell was mike gonna be alone for an hour, give him fourty and he'll be out there with his little brother figuring out where the hell his mind was going.

Donnie Slipped out of the layer forty-five minutes later, not noticing the two shadows following him as he called Antonio's and asked for Woodys, Mikey style pizza, a box of garlic bread sticks, and a whole container fit for a family of 6 worth of cinnamon bites because fuck it if his little wasn't going to have a good rest of his night. Mikey deserved so much more than what he could provide, but Donnie was more than ready to compensate in any way he could.

Reaching the manhole cover, he pushed himself out, taking a deep breath of that sweet sweet New York air, pollution and all. Slipping into an alley and beginning his trek to the warehouse district where he knew his little brother would be. Once more unaware of the shadows following after from the rooftop above.

As he stepped closer and closer to his brothers secret spot he could hear faintly Modern Day Cain playing out, most certainly damaging his little brothers ears given he could hear it from down the alley, a spray can on its last dredges, like spray nothing more than aerosol at this point.

Michelangelo stands stalk still as he presses his finger so hard against nozzle that his arm shakes, staring at the point where the deep green should be coming from, as of willing it to refill and let him continue. The sing switched to Until I end Up Dead and he threw against the wall across from him by the time kick drum was hit a third time, managing to hit off the wall and into a bag strategically placed with the rest of the empty cans.

Reaching down Mikey grabbed the same color from his bag of full cans, spraying the spot he was so focused on before just standing there, staring past the wall 5 inches from the tip of his beak, getting lost in his mind again.

By the time the song ran its course and switch to another, Mikey had dropped the can, taking four paces back and letting his shell thump harshly against the neighboring wall and sliding down, dragging his headphones off and letting the clatter to the ground.

"Hey don" mikey says quietly, leaving his head to hang between where he rested his arms and his knees.

"Hey Mike" Donnie said sliding down next to his brother and bumping shells with him.

"Whats eating at you today bud? I though it was better now that they're back"

Mikey looked up into Donnies eyes, water filling them as he stood up with a hurt laugh.

"They might be back, but they're not here Donnie"

Don looks up at his brother a little confused.

" They're here, but they're not with us Don, they're leaving, pulling away, and I-" his voice finally broke as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"I don't think we are enough to make them stay Don,"

Even quiter this time

"I don't think I'm enough to make you stay" as Michelangelo turned around to look at his newest project.

A mural to Donnie, standing in his lab doors, looking past the viewer, as though longing for something far out of reach.

"Its all I can think about Don, they don't want to be here and neither do you"

"Mikey what, no I-"

"No Donnie, No, you don't, you're not meant to be stuck in that stupid lab with those stupid computers and those stupid phone calls,"

"No, I love the lab, Mikey I could never-"

"You used to love the lab, you loved it before it become a chore, before being in that lab meant you had to try to keep this family from falling apart, before when you could make things and fix things because you had the time, not because it was written into your schedule. Donnie you don't deserve that, you should be taking your classes at NYCU and correcting the teacher when they get details about particle fission wrong and you should be happy, but I'm making you stay cause I can't grow up, cause I can't handle when they yell at eachother, and you get this look in your eye sometimes Don, and I know you just want to be anywhere but here, and I can't-"

"Michael! Stop! Breathe please."

Mikey didn't even realize it but he'd brought his shaking hands to his chest as he sobbed, falling into his brothers embrace, sliding to the hard gravel as his knees have out.

" Donnie I can't do it, I can't be alone, I just can't"

Donnie had came to the back of mikeys shell, grabbing it by lip, pulling away just enough to look him in the eyes.

"And you never will, Michael No matter what I will always be here, I am not leaving you ever."

Don hiccuped as tears streamed down his cheeks

"Mikey I could never leave you, never, you are my only little brother otouto, you've been with me since the start of all this stupid shit and never once have I though it would be better to leave you, Mikey I could never"

Anyway I haven't a clue how to end this, and as I said before, I have no clue how to write down whats in my head, so this came out so much different than what originally made me figure out I have another note to add to my eventual therapy list.

Anyway my whole thought process came from me being a Kinship foster kid, meaning I was fostered by a family member, in my case My Great Aunt, I was later adopted by her when I was about 7(I think) so I obviously have some emotional problems regarding family leaving me and I just move into college, my guardian got upset at me and treated to leave even though we had this whole trip planned for her birthday and everything. Anyway this happened 3 time over 2 days and on the third time I begged her to stay, saying I really wanted this trip to go smoothly and for her to enjoy her birthday, or was a whole crying fest for me while her daughter didn't really help the situation by mentioning how she is kind of emotionally abusive. Ended with her leaving for an hour leaving me under the assumption she wasn't coming back, but she did because she forgot her sleeping machine (cpap). In the end while I was thinking out fanfic scenarios in my head I kind of had what the beginning of this story had, up to mikey telling Don that he doesn't think he is enough to make don stay. It kind of hit me I was modeling his feelings after my new found fear that even If I was sobbing and begging her to stay, she wouldnt.

Anywhoodle hope you enjoyed my attempt at a fic

Much love 💘

[angelsproductive22]

12/21/22 • 365 days of productivity • (19/365)

✨twas another library day✨

i did laundry in the morning and then waddled to the library on something like solid ice roads covered in water. and surprisingly harder than that was to get any work done cause we chatted so much with my friend from school, but we were proud at the end of our session.

i prepped for my literature essay, recapping how tf to write a good essay (i know i should just know it by now, but recapping helps to form a good structure for the needs of a specific essay, so don’t judge, ok) and then i took notes from the poetry collection to support my ✨agenda✨

tomorrow i’ll finish the brainstorming for the essay, and go back to write the text analysis and then move on to writing the essay!

[autumnalwalker]

Trick or treat!

Thank you for the ask.

Assuming this is referring to this Trick-Or-Treat ask game.

So, seeing as I announced that I was starting work on Empty Names as a new project during a Trick-Or-Treat event last year, it feels right to open up with a Treat related to that.

So, here's one of the first things I wrote in my initial brainstorming notes when I was trying to get a feel for concepts/characters to play with. It's a sequence that I do still hope to include in some form eventually, but it will probably be a good long while before we get there. All the "..." lines are basically breaks where presumably other narration or dialogue would fill in in a final version.

(Snippet below the cut because it's kind of lengthy)

<Lacuna contracting a fairy as a familiar then digitizing it because the team needs “hacking” done and she’s not that kind of programmer:>

Lacuna: “Little faeries lost and wandering, I call out to you to make a contract.  I offer up name, knowledge, novelty, and no small amount of mischief.”

…

Lacuna: “I’m not looking to bind a servant.  I’m invoking the rites of the Familiar.  This contract will be a partnership, one from which we may both learn and grow.”

…

Lacuna: “I’ll be honest with you, what I intend to do carries risk, and more for you than me.  If it works, you’ll become something new, something that I’m not sure this world has seen before.  But if it doesn’t, well, I’m not sure what will happen but I don’t imagine it will be good for you.  Knowing this, do you still accept?”

…

The Nameless Fairy: “I do still have some bargaining power here, human.  You try to hide it, but I can tell you’re in a desperate hurry.”

Lacuna: “That, I won’t deny, but if you weren’t just as desperate you wouldn’t have even heard my call in the first place.  Now, an answer, or I’ll dismiss you and summon another, and the next in line I won’t warn what I intend beforehand.  I can afford the time once, but not twice.  As you said, I’m in a hurry.”

The Nameless Fairy: “You wouldn’t.”

Lacuna: “Don’t try me…”

The Nameless Fairy: “You may be trying to act the part of ruthless sorceress, but you’re a terrible liar.  You don’t have it in you to do something so cruel, even to protect something you care about.  Don’t look so surprised, even this trial bond is a sympathetic one.”

…

Lacuna: “One last thing.  A personal request.  Not a part of the contract.  My name.  Please, treat it well, would you?  It served me well for a long time and I’ll always be fond of it, even if it’s brought me sorrow as well.  It was the first gift my parents gave me, and I would rather not dishonor them by passing it to someone who won’t cherish it as I once did.”

…

Lacuna: “And thus, by my name, freely given, the contract is sealed, between myself and _____.”

…

The Named Fairy: “What is this trickery?! This name! It reeks of dried out rot!  Its dust cloys and chokes!  It weighs on me, heavy and limp!  It’s…it’s..”

Lacuna: “Dead.  That name is dead.  Truth be told, I’ve been trying to rid myself of it for a long time now.  I’m sorry for that one deception, I truly am, but I hope that in your hands it might find new life.”

The Named Fairy: “A foul way to begin a partnership, and you will owe me for this… But ‘twas a trick the sort one of my kind would play on a mortal in this situation and I can respect that.”

…

The Named Fairy: “If the name you gave me was dead, what name now lives within you.”

Lacuna: “Lacuna.”

The Named Fairy: “Ha! You trick me into taking a dead name, and still you’re the one left with an emptiness.  I’d be laughing harder twere it anyone else bound to such a fool.”

…

Lacuna: “Please, can you take on any other face.  I’m sure it came with the name, but I’ve seen that face cry in too many mirrors before I managed to change it.”

…

Lacuna: “So, shall I call you ______ now?  It feels strange to say, but I have no room to complain about using the names people want.”

The Named Fairy: “Nay.  ‘Tis bad luck to use a name around its former owner.  I’ll ask that you kindly give me another.  Bestowed, not transferred this time, if that makes you feel better.  Given this one’s flaw, a second name’s the least you could provide in compensation.”

Lacuna: “Hmmm… How does Jacaranda sound to you?”

Jac: “This little tree you used as a focus for my summoning?  A fair enough name for our bond.”

<Later, Sullivan congratulates Lacuna on the cleverness of passing the geas-enforced NDA off to the familiar via name transfer, thereby preventing it from ever being able to modify or even talk about the tech/rituals used to bind him to her.  The thought hadn’t even occurred to Lacuna and she’s horrified by the realization/implication of what she’s unwittingly done to what was meant to be a relatively equitable arrangement.>

<Jacaranda catching Road before leaving the room after everyone else just left>

Jac: “What did you get for it?”

Road: “Get for what?”

Jac: “What did you get when you sold your name?”

Road: “What makes you think I sold it?”

Jac: “I have an eye for names, even more than most of my kind. You tell others to call you Road, but that’s just an alias. A mask to cover a hole. I’m willing to bet you don’t call yourself that. Lacuna made that name her own, filled it with so much of herself that it drowned out the sound of the dead thing she gave me. Eris and the Glassheart have two names each. For her they wax and wane in prominence. For him one forms a root from which the other grows. In both cases it’s really just one name with two parts, multipurpose but inseparable.”

Road: “And Sullivan?”

Jac: “He’s a slippery one. He did something to his name to make it all blur and noise. It makes my stomach turn and my wings itch when I try to look, but no one would do that to themselves without something there to protect.  But you, you’re barely even trying to hide it.”

Road: “I gotta say, I’m impressed. Lacuna I could understand, but you’ve barely even met the others and you still figured all that out. But for all that, I don’t think you understood my question.”

Jac: “I think I explained myself just fine. Or did your brains leave you along with your name?”

Road: “No, I mean, what makes you think I sold my name?”

<One of the others, either Lacuna or Sullivan, returns and provides an excuse for Road to change the topic and leave.  Later, Road tells Sullivan that Jacaranda’s got a knack for names, but his wards are still holding.>

[jaynovz]

Fic writer ask: #7 for 'the softest pleasure, the sweetest pain'!!

Hi anon!

7: Were there any ideas you had for the softest pleasure, the sweetest pain that you couldn’t make work? What were they?

Soooo, I've mentioned before that I've written a fuckton of extra details out for a potential Siren sequel here.

But as far as the first story, hmmmm. I gotta say, not really?

So there were a couple little smutty self-indulgent details I thought of after I did my first draft. But I then mentioned it to Brinn during the rewrite process and they folded those into the final draft, which, bless. Twas a couple. Tongue things. bahahahahaha.

Anyway, something yall might have seen from me yelling about it way back when I was writing the first draft was that like. The story was originally meant to end EXTREMELY differently. We'd brainstormed/outlined an ending where the dangerous-sexy Siren blowjob happens and then the crew finally come up from below and chase Siren!Silver away; he essentially does a wink like "wow how fascinating was that, seeya, nothing else is ever going to live up to this for u."

So yeah, that was how we originally intended to have the sexual predator-prey thing happen, leaning hard into the blood drinking and monstrous aspect of it, making Siren!Silver very violent etc. But also have Flint get away with his life.

But then I sort of uhhh I dunno, cracked? B/c apparently every single Silverflint verse needs EMOTIONS. And I just went full Monster Infatuation with Flint and awestruck/curious with Siren!Silver. Opening up the possibility that they might actually, weird as it seems, make a good match.

So, yep. Not originally meant to be like "lol I'm going to marry a fish now BYE," but in true Jay fashion the concept got way out of hand and then that's what happened instead!

Thanks for asking~

[jam-is-my-food]

writing asks. all of them. ( for 50 uhh just write a paragraph about how hot emmy raver-lampman is in a suit please and thank you </3 )

fUCK YOU NESSIE

THAT’S IT IM DOING IT JUST TO SPITE YOU

this is gonna be long asf click keep reading at risk of death or boredom

1.     Do you listen to music when you write?

not usually, it's distracting

 2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?

naturally pantser but if i wanna actually finish smth i gotta plot it hh

 3.     Computer or pen and paper?

computer i'm not a boOmer /j i so am

 4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

bitch i wiSh

actually technically i was published in this anthology thing once? and i think i have a piece in a magazine somewhere on the internet i forget those are cool

but yeah bye getting a novel published is my d r e a m (gotta write a novel first tho lawl)

 5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

n o t  m u c h

unless i get one of my bUrsts aka finishing a 2.3K almoons chapter before 8am the other week after procrastinating it for like two months 

but yeah jdsghliuedskj it um depends often none

 6.     Single or multiple POV?

i answered that for kiri so i'll just copy paste it over loll

mmm it depends. usually i do single? but i do do multiple occasionally. i almost never do alternating chapters, though, it’s usually more like part one is narrated by person a, part two person b etc.

 7.     Standalone or series?

baha like i could ever write a series (please, please be jinxing yourself rn refster) aside from that one trilogy when i was 7 but uh yeah atm just standalones but a series would be so cool in future 

 8.     Oldest WIP

the aforementioned trilogy. chronicles of clara. it is incREDIBLE. 10/10. so good. so, so good.

 9.     Current WIP

i haven't actually mentioned it on tumblr yet but hehehe it's called the wordweaver's apprentice it's fantasy and i'm v excited about it :DD that was ooc but :DD

 10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

(also answered for kiri, copy-pasting over)

hahahahhahahuhdkjashdglauhsdaugediuskjlkehdsgihkdskhgdkjx

i? try?

it does not go well?

but then i never finish my projects?

send help pls im dying

11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

lmao the list is too long

 12.  Describe your perfect writing space

somewhere w/o distractions

 13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

hm. idea. that's cool. that's cool. write it down. hype myself up. forget about it within a week.

el em mayo

but like

f r LMAO

okay but fr fr idk i don't usually finish stuff but it'd be idea, brainstorm, plot (sort of), write, agonize, write, finish, throw in the other direction and never touch again bc revision whos she

 14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?

cry and spam my friends

 15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

i don’t - mm. i don’t tend to get writer’s block? or like - idk what to classify as writer’s block? bc sometimes i get blocked for a certain story, but then i get really into like poetry or sum for a week so it’s fine idk

 16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

o n e as i said i don't - revision is a no

 17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

uHhHhhhhh idk???

 18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

*laughs in gfc*

 19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?

i don't. if you have any ideas please hmu i need it.

 20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

m a n y.

21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

mmmmmmmmm i love cass i haven't written her in too long but i think she's probably my most well-done character to date and i'm so proud of her badkghewiludkjs

 22.  Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?

c y i l l

though possible imeini (ship name needs revision) in future we shall see (from twa) (the aforementioned newish wip)

 23.  Favourite author

there are Many

 24.  Favourite genre to write and read

fantasy maybe? ooh dystopia is fun

 25.  Favourite part of writing

everything about it when i'm motivated hh, my problem is getting more motivation

 26.  Favourite writing program

oh idk huh?

27.  Favourite line/scene

idk?

 28.  Favourite side character

j o o s t

 29.  Favourite villain

i def have one but i forget

 30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

too many

31.  Least favourite part of writing

motivating myself :/

 32.  Most difficult character to write

mmmm i'm not really in the throes of a wip atm so idk

 33.  Have you ever killed a main character?

yessir

 34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

drunk will was surprisingly difficult in a fun way. def not the hardest but yeah

 35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

god idk

36.  Last sentence you wrote

And then Mei was gone, and in the space that she'd filled, Imani whispered, "I wish I was like you."

 37.  First sentence or your current WIP

It is said that when we came to this stretch of Tatys land, it was empty.

38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

mm there was one about anthropomorphic chickens battling sentient fruits, the fruits in question also being six-year olds

 39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

s e e  a b o v e

 40.  Share some backstory for one of your characters

cass's mom used to have a drug problem & she would leave her alone for long stretches of time, she went to rehab and is now sober but it's where cass gets her abandonment issues from

41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

just write! no one taught me how to do anything, and there's no rules per se, aside from basic grammatical stuff. do what you wanna do, don't worry about others' reactions. this is cliche asf but true.

 42.  How do you feel about love triangles?

mostly gross, but they can be good.

 43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

adapt. i  g o  w i t h  t h e  f l o w.

 44.  How much research do you do?

not much usually, depends on the genre of story. i do as much as i feel i need to. and ofc i have the random writer search history.

 45.  How much world building do you do?

in the past, not much. twa (once again my new wip) is fantasy, though, so i' m attempting to remedy that.

 46.  Do you reread your own stories?

i do! it's fun to look back at them after a few years and see how much i've improved.

 47.  Best way to procrastinate

random character headcanons/doodle writey spurt thingies

 48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

bAHA this one scene in the cHrOniCLeS of cLaRa book two when this girl lisa who was 100% self-insert got annoyed at her little sister daisy (sister-insert) for chewing too loudly and then proceeded to use her wAtEr pOwErs to like flood the house. that part was less self-insert.

 49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

bye that's so hard. c a d m u s & l a u r e n t tho cinnamon rolls are liFE.

 50.  Write a paragraph about how hot emmy raver-lampman is in a suit please and thank you

i don't gotta write my own bitch i have everything i need to plagiarize from right here

"Raver-Lampman’s enthusiasm is contagious. So is her laugh. It comes from deep inside, just like her voice, and it rings out — ricocheting off furniture and walls. Her head is shaved, all except for a distinctive swath of tight curls on the top and left side of her head. She has the tiniest septum ring in her nose, and a tattoo of what looks like a musical note behind her right ear."

- the clearly gay jessica belt

thank you for the ASKS darLING and thank you if you read this idk why or whether you're okay but yup

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

twas tagged by both @parallelmarvel and @tare8chan. i actually cant believe i was hhaha i’m aiming to be the legit writer worthy of this tag game other writers participated in. think u for thanking of meh 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Author Name: smellycinnamonthundahfudge on tumblr, AND JUST IN, I’M petertheparkerpus_mjmonogram ON AO3 YALLLSSSS. I FINALLY CAME THEEERREEE YYAAAYYYYY

Fandom You Write For: predominantly mcu’s spideychelle. (i also wrote tz stuff back then heh). but, i have also written (but not posted) for hiccstrid, got, darejones, simmosa, incredibles 2, and bughead hahaha.

Where You Post: i started on tumblr, so literally all of the works i wanted to share are on here. buuttt, like i said, I JUST GOT AN AO3 ACCOUNT YALLSSS. i’ve posted my first pj fics on there for now, but i havent posted em all yet so i am now beginning the process of importing em. im excited :’’’)))

Most Popular One-Shot: Take Flight (peter & mj’s flight home from the ffh trip, click for a nervous jelly peter hehehe)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: hhmmm, ok, so i’m not even sure if it classifies as a multi-chapter haha but i think so cus i wrote them as a continuous story in mind haha. i posted the “chapters” separately but i like to imagine it was just one story, Safehouse Sleepovers (consists of Safehouse, Safehouse Singalongs, and Hot chocolate). it’s my only multi-chapter story (not even sure if it classifies as one haha) so de facto most popular one hahaha. oh and it’s essentially a canon compliant post ffh fic bout pj bonding in the parkers’ safehouse hehe. (oh but i guess maybe the newly named airports could also be considered multi-chapter, is 2 chaps enough to call it that? haha so dunno maybe i take back the only mc story thing haha. it’s still the more popular one tho cus airports i wrote before ffh even came out haha)

Favorite Story You Wrote:  oof this is a hard one... ooohhh, i feeelll like i gotta, just gotta go with 5 + 1 gifts and Just Breathe cus they’re just so precious 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 but tbh i luv all of em. just as whole fics, they seem better to me haha

Story You Were Nervous to Post: ALL BRUHHH i mean im just not that confident with my works yet haha. buttt the one i was rlly the most nervous about was Home for the Holidays cus it was my first time writing with an actual person in mind to write it for haha. plus, it was the first fic i wrote after pj month so oof gods was i rusty by the time i wrote it hahaha haaysst. i think it was ok enough tho. plus they said it was good so yay. im just glad i actually did it haha.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: eh just whatevs i feel is catchy and is a good concise nice indicator of the plot heh. hhmm i feel like i usually come up with titles during the brainstorming process for the fic, like before actually writing it or while writing it.

How Many of Your Stories Are:

Complete: if im counting the “chapters” i mentioned earlier as one story each, then probs round 24. i say probs cus there’s some fics i wrote somewhere, where i feel like i finished em but i dont have access to them currently so im not 100 if it’s complete by my standards or nah haha

In-Progress: hhhhmmm im not sure if it’s write to call these in-progress. i’d rather call em unfinished, like i have 16 unfinished stories, or just written out story outlines. im not sure if i should call em in progress cus im not sure if i even still rlly plan to finish em, yknow? haha like they really are genuinely fun interesting n creative story ideas n plans thus far, i feel. but i just- lazy, yknow? haha i have to build up to writing a story for A LOONGG TIME haha

Coming Soon: hehehehe. technically it’s completed already, all i have to do is just make the post on tumblr hehe (as of the moment i wrote this post). im so excited for yalls to read The Bathroom hihihi <333

Upcoming Story You’re Most Excited to Write: oofff im not even sure if im actually gonna wind up writing these buuuut, dancing pj still seems so cute n pure n fun. and also, in addition to the countless other aus my annoying brain came up with on pj month, my brain annoyingly got even more fic ideas rolling around it now:

a moulin rouge au (peter’s the famous singer/dancer known as the spider-man who attracts men and women alike in the famous moulin rouge run by liz toomes with a gallery of other colorful rogues, heroes, villains, and just other sorts of attractive characters based on the comicbooks of old. mj is a young new budding writer looking to gain world experience to write about. she winds up in the moulin rouge, meets the infamous spider-man and gets to know the kind man behind the alluring and mysterious mask. im imagining tom’s lsb, laura’s hollywood, and z’s halloween euphoria ep costume for the aesthetic im going for haha. im still torn on whether to keep the og ending or not hahahaha)

maybe a friends with benefits fic. where it’s not so angsty or full of drama. and genuinely just keeping it cool and chill til they inevitably just decide to actually get together/stay friends. it’s all up in the air and they’ll figure it out when they figure it out.

producers inspired, roommates au. the kdrama did the trope well and it made me want to see it applied to my two dorks 🥺🥺🥺🥺 

lastly, a first time fic for our two dorky virgins hahaha. i kinda like the idea of them planning out their first time to the most minute of details and just the actual process of figuring out what they want to do n stuff haha just seems real cute to me 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Do You Accept Prompts: hahahhaha look, i’m never one to say no ok? i mean, if i just straight up say no, im possibly saying no to potential ideas that are so inspiring i wind up writing it immediately. so yes, i’d like to say im willing to accept prompts. however, there is absolutely no guaranteed follow up and for that i’m sorry. i can just never know how i’ll react to an idea so there ya go. that’s my honest response haha.

im taggin the fic writers ive read over the years that havent been tagged by the ones that tagged me. hold my juice box. @spideymjlove @jediparkers @itsjacobperalta @thatsnicebutimmarried @bookishandbossy @thefudge @galaxy-parker @spideychelle-romanogers @spiders-n @petty-parker  @smalltreenergy @dead-end-street @softboyholland @mamgt @justanotherfangirlpassingthrough @machiavelien @peterjonesparker @blaisezabini @thegreenwomanswalkman @crazy4dragons @dragonydreams @attachedtomybookshelf @haddocksortails @dyannehs @funkytoes @jenni41 @rebelcaptaindaily @starxdust22​ no presh obvi. just thought dis might peak yalls interest. thanks for all that you’ve writtteeennnn 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (btw some of yalls might have just written hcs for all i know, i literally dunno anymore, but like i said iz nbd. just also wanted to give my thanks since im not entirely sure i was able to do so before)

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E60

Hello, and welcome to episode 60, otherwise known as THE RISE OF YASHA SHIPPING. We’ve been waiting and waiting for it, and here it fucking is!! Masterpost here

+15 to Fjord/Jester as they gain many Flirting Points with cute little “Heys” at each other in combat, profferings of healing potions, that weird slightly in canon liminal area of drink sharing, winking madness, Fjord dedicating the dead jellyfish to Jester like he’s some kinda knight (+3 to Beau/Cockblocking for pointing out the disturbing murder of what was once a romantic Fjorester symbol). Jester asking Fjord if he’s okay and checking him for possession (Bonus points for Body Contact!) Points taken away for Fjord griping about Jester/Pets, saying “It’s not your pet, Jester!” while Jester shouts back that she doesn’t even like it, thank you, she likes animals but she’s not going to go gaga over a murder demon you absolute asshole.

+9 to Caleb/Caduceus as Caduceus continues his trend of enthusiastically supporting Caleb decisions that the rest of the party very much do not enthusiastically support. “Good call!” he says when Caleb goes to burn the bodies in the Bone Pit as an anti-jellyfish precaution. Totally down with Caleb murdering creatures down there as there’s “not anything good that’s living down there” and along with Yasha joining the Pro Caleb NPC Murder Club. Caleb very nearly setting Caduceus on fire as well but avoiding it through the power of luck love, being adorably distressed that Caduceus might have been hurt, relieved when he’s fine.

+6 to Caduceus/Fjord as Caduceus encourages Fjord to “Stick by me, and you’ll be fine.” Looking after Fjord’s welfare by encouraging him to stay in the Hut, and acting as dedicated translator for all of Fjord’s ridiculously curious needs. The pair of them same-hatting on asking every single person they happen to meet if they know of any answers to their god problems. Points taken away for Caduceus’ short term memory failing to recall the second of Fjord’s questions as he gets distracted asking about the Blooming Grove.

+32 to Yasha/Jester. Okay. Okay. So, trying to cooperate over turtle flipping: good. But the real thing. The real thing is. During Yasha’s first dream, Jester is the first body she sees after Mollymauk’s, the first and most important after him of the “somebody you’ve let in.” The only person she’s really willing to speak to after she wakes, despite her discomfort. The first person whose strength she thinks of when trying to break her shackles. The one she listens to, over Caduceus, when it comes to how to approach her god—to just try to talk to him, bring Jester and her friends along. The one she models when she tries to connect to the Stormlord—drawing a dick in the mud because if nothing else works, this has to, this is Jester. Jester being the most sweetly supportive of Yasha after her dream, even while Nott minimizes and Caduceus godsplains. Jester fucking….sleeping in the rain with Nott so that Yasha won’t be alone, enduring ridiculous amounts of discomfort and lost sleep just to be there for her. They are…..love. This is…..the true birth of  Jestasha.

+1 to Beau/Yasha as Beau accomplishes an epic battle move by sliding between Yasha’s legs (just not in the way she was hoping). Looking piningly at Yasha’s sleeping face. But, as has been decreed by the Shipping Gods they are two ships passing in the night, destined never to meet.

-10 to Yasha/Nott. Nott initiates cuddles, but Yasha is uncomfortable.

+17 to Fjord/Caleb as Caleb tries his damned hardest to use his spellwork to protect Fjord—and failing. But it leads to Body Contact nonetheless, and a terribly sweet “sorry, big guy” which only means more with every NPC under the sun (looking at you, Soorna) continuing to poke at Fjord by calling him “small.” More Body Contact with Caleb switching over to Fjord as his chosen squeeze while looking through Frumpkin. As with Jester and the jellyfish, Fjord looking towards Caleb to check if he’s noticing him Being Cool with the three point landing (Do I spy +1 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester?) Fjord as always putting way too much stock in Caleb knowing everything, all “Caleb, think of every blue fabric you’ve ever seen” as he attempts to CSI the riftmaking device. Fjord also as always being Caleb’s #1 Magic Fan, going absolutely NUTS when Caleb polymorphs the giant, ruffling his hair and screaming “YOU BEAUTIFUL WIZARD BASTARD” and probably coming close to fucking breaking the wizards’ concentration in the process. Points taken away as Fjord realizes just how scary the turtle still is and how this horrible snapping thing may still cleave him in half. But at the rate Fjord is escalating the Magic Love, you just know eventually Caleb is going to cast a spell and Fjord is going to get so excited he kisses the wizard.

+5 to Caleb/Being a Trendsetter as comically exaggerated pronunciations of Eldritch bleeeeeeeeehst are now officially the standard for all members of the party.

+10 to Travis/Dice Superstition as he picks new dice after rolling ones, runs dice competitions to decide which is worthy to play with, and Very Superstitiously dreading a 666 of failed wisdom saves from Fjord, Beau, and Caleb.

+10 to Caduceus/Excitement. “There’s something in the pit.” His head lowers and his hands shake when he gets stressed, but bless him his voice is as calming and monotone as ever.

-100 to Fjord/That Spoopy Shit as he spends most of the battle screaming his (average sized, thank you) lungs out

+2 to Caleb/Cat Shaped Creatures at Cat’s Ire was finally allowed to do its killing work!

+20 to Jester/Beau as Jester gives Beau a 7 for the holy hell she causes with her punching! To which Beau gives a funny little bow. But most, most importantly, Jester noticing Beau staying up reading and worrying to death, giving her a massage and Body Contact to calm down and sleep #TheyAreMarried and fuck Travis/Fjord’s Attempted Cockblocking because that was the most transparently and extremely romantic moment in the entire goddamn episode. Points taken away for Jester saying Beau’s drawing looks “kind of shit.” Maybe now that she’s granted permission for Beau to draw dicks she’s concerned Beau will start infringing on her Territory as the resident artist.

-1 to Nott/Detective Work. She did find the riftmaking device, but unfortunately it was circumstance that brought her back to the Bone Pit, and not her Keen Detective Mind remembering at that moment to investigate the area as Soorna’s stated origin of the demons and a trash bin’s status as an Excellent Hiding Place. More points taken away for Destroying Evidence when she shot the device and scattered the liquid inside to be lost forever.+12 to Nott/Gunslinging though.

+1 to Fjord/Detective Work as he continues to bargain and push for important information about the way the world works and what is happening from the people he encounters—gaining Soorna’s story in exchange for their efforts. He didn’t gain information immediately relevant to the Case, but it is good Detective Practice nonetheless

+5 to Beau/Detective Work as she finds the scrap of fabric in the Riftmaking Device—a solid Clue! Genuinely looking for links between the riftmaking device and her own vestments, comparing notes, looking for the black liquid and brainstorming with Caleb over potential motivations for creating Abyssal rifts. Points taken away for misidentifying beds as sarcophagi, which sort of casts a pall over her detectiving skills. 

+20 to Beau/Nerdom for being more interested in explaining books and theorizing to Caleb than actually fighting. It is something when you can stand next to Caleb and make him look like a jock in comparison to your nerdy antics. Never change, Beau.

+6 to Caleb/Lethality as unfortunately he has murder on the brain so much that even when he’s not trying to make things deadly, he still manages to incinerate a poor innocent little goblin, barely skirt blowing up Caduceus, and morph what he meant to be a harmless turtle into a killing machine.

-2 to Caleb/Jester. Caleb is a fan of Jester’s smart idea with the Tiny Hut. But between accusations of criminality and Jester’s extreme distress over Caleb’s Goblin Roasting, ‘twas not the best week for these two.

+2 to Nott/Jester. Beau may have gotten a 7 for battle maneuvers, but Jester gives Nott 8 points!!! Nott cuddling with Jester at night, waking with her to reassure Yasha. There’s the sense Nott went out into the miserable rain maybe a little more to spend time with Jester than anything else.

+12 to Nott/Being a Team Player as she throws herself into harm’s way to defend Fjord from Caleb’s horribly botched polymorph! She is too small to be much defense but damn if she’s not going to try!

-3 to Nott/Fantasy Racism as despite her conflicted feelings over goblins she attempts to respectfully lay Caleb’s murder victim to rest. +10 to Caduceus/Cockblocking for undermining the moment by sticking the whole goddamn corpse in his bag so he can question it in the morning

+5 to Caleb/Kooky Comparisons as he compares farming the Beacon for Luck potions to getting eggs from the golden goose. Caleb thinks almost entirely in terms of fairy tales and farming/peasant idioms, and one of these days someone needs to collect all of the little oddball things he says.

+50 to Kord/Midwifery “STRUGGLE. PUSH. STRUGGLE. PUSH.” Rhythmic, firm, supportive but also tough, which is exactly the kind of midwife you want during your existential rebirth.

[ambitionsource]

AMBITION Season 2 ♫ “How the Twinks Saved Christmas” [ Special ]

CREATED BY Esther (rapunzles) & Maggie (quincywillows) || S2 Tag || Official Page

THE THINGS WE HAVE TO DO – Asher and Dylan attempt to pull together the usual techie tradition when their commanders in chief are unable. One has to wonder how far a couple of loyal lieutenants will go for their best friend.

51 Minutes (10.5K words) || No warnings apply.

[ ← Cold Comfort ] [ S2 Synopsis ] [ Trapped → ]

( Follow along with the music on Spotify here! )

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

We’re back at the end of 2.05, the techies flooding into the apartment to surprise LUCAS FRIAR for the holiday. He watches them all in shock before turning back to find ASHER GARCIA and DYLAN ORLANDO in the doorway, giving him smug smiles.

Dylan: Greetings, Mr. Grinch.

The scene proceeds as we saw it the first time, but subtle differences in the camera angles and costuming shine a little more light on the status of Asher and Dylan.

For being so put together in the execution of their holiday rescue, they’re a bit ragged in their appearance. Asher’s hair is a mess, which is a rare occurrence. Dylan’s cheeks are rosier than usual. They look like they’ve taken more than one trek through the winter sludge outside.

When they step forward to pull Lucas into their sandwich hug, the screen suddenly freezes on the sweet vignette. Very much a record scratch moment. Then, some familiar voices voice over the warm imagery:

Dylan: Aw, look at that. It’s so cute. Aren’t we cute?

Asher: Well, maybe one of us.

Dylan: Ignoring that. But you may have points with dad there.

Asher: He’s looked better.

Dylan: Sure he’s felt better, too.

Dissection of Lucas aside, Asher goes on to explain how this all makes everything seem so easy. Clicking back a couple of frames to their arrival, he points out how it really just seems like they just appeared out of thin air and brought the holiday cheer.

Although it’s a good part of the story, it’s certainly not the full story. And this doesn’t give nearly enough credit to how far from easy this whole thing was. Or, to the point, any credit to how the whole thing came together at all. Where it all started.

Then, the frames begin moving backwards in time, so fast that they’re hardly discernible. There are fleeting glimpses of moments -- Asher and Dylan dashing through the snow, the exterior of AAA in the glow of a wintery night, a Christmas tree farm…

EXT. AAA - DAY

Until we’re back outside AAA, the same day that Lucas stormed out early. On the precipice of winter break.

Asher: If you’re going to get the full story, then we’re going to have to go back to the start.

Dylan: Twas the day before winter break…

Time resumes on the frame of AAA, easing in towards the school as students begin disembarking for the end of term.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Please Come Home For Christmas” as performed by Kelly Clarkson || Instrumental

The techie crew isn’t going anywhere, not yet. The mood is deflated as the group of them gather in the auditorium, sitting on the stage like usual but not quite feeling like a cohort.

NATE MARTINEZ sits on one of the acting blocks, bouncing and catching a bouncy ball listlessly. JEFF MONROE reclines in a folding chair, leg bouncing restlessly. DAVE WILLIAMS is sprawled on the floor, staring up at the catwalk. JADE BEAMON is finishing some last minute seams on a costume, pin in her mouth as she glances up to listen to the discussion.

That discussion is being led by Asher, Dylan faithfully at his side with the rolling whiteboard. The two of them are attempting to brainstorm other ways the group of them could ring in the holiday spirit, since their techie tradition seems to have fallen through.

Seeing how the whiteboard only has a couple of half-hearted, random words written on it, it’s clear they’re not making much progress. Dylan has moved on to doodling tiny versions of all of them, more focused on that than the brainstorming.

Still, Asher isn’t giving up. He’s the only one actively putting in an effort, pacing as he racks his brain for a solution.

Asher: What about Chubbie’s? We could do family dinner there.

Jeff: Closed for the holidays. Won’t be open from tomorrow to the 26th.

Asher: Okay… oh, well, what about Svorski’s? Maybe she’d let us host something. I’m pretty sure she’s Jewish, right?

Jade: Can’t. We’re not allowed back ever since Dave’s incident with the pastila.

Dave: Look, I said I was sorry!

Clearly, this is going nowhere. Nate is the first to say so, gathering his things and getting ready to head out. The others take this as a cue, also getting ready to go. Dylan is pulled out of his drawing by the commotion (just finishing up a little heart next to his miniature Asher), realizing this is not going as planned.

Asher tries to get them all to hold up, just spend a little more time thinking of something, but the consensus seems to be that there’s no point.

Nate: Look, I get what you guys are trying to do. And it’s great, it’s beautiful that you still believe in the “power of friendship” or whatever, when this school was clearly forsaken and cast away to Hell ages ago.

Dylan: [ re: Hell ] You say that like it’s a bad thing...

Nate: But look around. Lucas and Smackle aren’t even here.

Jeff: Isa’s got her new crew now, she probably won’t even notice if the get together is dead.

Nate: We have no way to get into the school without Friar, and to be honest, what’s the point if he’s not going to be there?

Dave, sadly: Won’t be the same without Lucas.

Dave’s favoritism aside, he has a point. Asher searches for something to say, but comes up short. It’s not right, he knows it isn’t, but he can’t figure out how to fix it.

Nate tosses them a peace, telling them he’ll catch them in the new year. Jeff follows him out, then Dave, leaving only Jade behind as she finishes putting away the costuming supplies. Dylan steps forward to comfort Asher, patting his shoulder as Jade addresses them.

Jade: I think it’s really sweet, what you’re trying to do. I wish it would work, too. I wish there was a simple solution.

[ Asher can tell there’s a ‘but’ coming. Dylan looks at him, somber. ]

Jade: But I don’t know… maybe some things aren’t meant to last. Maybe sometimes… things just fall apart.

She steps forward to give both of them hugs, giving Asher a kiss on the cheek and wishing them both happy holidays. Then she heads out, leaving them alone on the empty stage.

Asher sighs, turning and actually looking at the whiteboard for the first time. He gives Dylan a look, somewhere between endeared and confused.

Asher: Is that supposed to be us?

Dylan: [ with a shrug ] It’s a work in progress.

INT. GARCIA HOME - ASHER’S ROOM - NIGHT

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Mom Returns And Finale” as scored by John Williams for Home Alone || Instrumental (00:45 - 2:00)

That night, Asher is putting away his school things for the break. He takes a moment to edit his agenda, settling down at his desk and cross-checking the dates in his notebook with the ones on his wall calendar.

He hesitates when he gets to the scheduled date for the techie holiday party, originally set for tomorrow evening. He grabs a pen and begins to scratch it off his schedule… but he can’t bring himself to do it. The pen is hovering over the date on the calendar, but he can’t bring himself to pull the trigger and cross it out for good.

He gets distracted instead by a photo tucked behind the calendar, pushing it to the side a bit so he can get a better look. It’s a polaroid of him, Dylan, and Lucas, taken sometime the previous year. The two of them are all smiles, and even Lucas is cracking a smirk.

Even in photo form, the amount of love that exists between the three of them radiates. Asher takes the picture down from the board and holds it in his hands, obviously feeling sentimental. Remembering a time when things felt easier, torn up over what a mess things have become.

Asher, softly: Maybe some things aren’t meant to last…

Just as he’s contemplating this grim potential, a noise outside his window startles him. He glances at his clock and the late hour, eyes wide towards the window pane when another scrape sounds from just outside. It seems to be getting closer.

Asher edges closer to his window, a distinct sense of unease dominating the scene. He closes his eyes, shaking his head.

Asher: Please don’t be a holiday ghost, please don’t be a holiday ghost…

Mustering up his courage, he pushes open his window. For a second, there’s nothing… then Dylan pops his head up, scaring the hell out of Asher.

He’s out of breath, the climb up to his window being particularly difficult given the winter weather. He props his elbow on the window pane, catching his breath and giving him a grin.

Dylan: Evenin’, lover.

Asher sighs, helping him up and pulling him in through the window. He questions what the hell he’s doing out in this weather, let alone trying to climb around his house. Although he does it pretty frequently, testing his luck when everything is so icy seems like an ill-advised move.

Once he regains his bearings and shrugs off his winter coat, Dylan explains why he came. He can’t stop thinking about the holiday party, and the way they left things at school today. Everyone seemed so bummed, and it’s been plaguing him all afternoon. He continues on this thought train until he gets distracted by the neatly wrapped gift sitting on Asher’s wardrobe, addressed for him. He gets excited about that until Asher lightly smacks his hand away, reminding him that Christmas is in two days and he can surely wait until then.

Maybe so, but it’s so difficult to see Dylan Orlando pout. Asher caves somewhat, allowing him to eat the candy cane stuck to the outside of it early.

Dylan continues his explanation as he unwraps the candy cane, torn between eating it like a normal person and waving it around for emphasis. Now more than ever, he states, the crew of them should be banding together in spite of all the tension at school rather than just letting things fall apart.

Asher agrees, but he doesn’t know what they’re supposed to do about it. He tried to fix it earlier, and that crashed and burned. They were both there. This is where Dylan steps up, claiming that he might actually have the solution.

He hands Asher his candy cane to hold and proceeds to dig through his jacket pockets. Of course, he pulls out an assortment of things that aren’t what he’s looking for.

Dylan: [ pulling out a wrinkled receipt ] No, that’s not it. Oh, wait, I think I was supposed to return these actually --

[ Asher pops the candy cane in his mouth without thinking, waiting for him to find it. ]

Dylan: [ pulling out a used tissue ] Ew, well, haha, that’s not it --

As he’s about to simply put the tissue back in his pocket, Asher gags and shakes his head. He tells him to give it to him, Dylan obeying and passing it over. Asher holds it daintily, barely hiding his disgust as he quickly tosses it into the trash can.

Dylan: [ pulling out a movie ticket stub ] Oh, this is from Detective Pikachu! You remember when we saw that? We should totally get that when it comes out on digital download --

Asher: Dylan. Dyl. Lighthouse, bring it home.

Dylan: Right, right.

Dylan finally manages to retrieve what he’s looking for, a folded up piece of lined paper. He holds it up in his fingers proudly.

Dylan: Isa made a list.

As he goes on to explain, when Riley helped them set up the holiday party last year, Isadora made a step-by-step list of all the items that go into preparing their tradition. He also still has the grocery list from when the two of them helped with that task last year. All they have to do is complete all the preparations, and then they’ll bring the tradition to Lucas.

Not a bad idea. Asher definitely seems intrigued as he swaps out the candy cane for the list, looking it over. But he’s always been the detail-oriented one to Dylan’s big ideas, so he naturally has questions. Firstly, the elephant in the room.

Asher: What about Lucas’s dad? We’re hardly allowed over to his place as it is, if we showed up with all this when his dad was around he would freak.

Dylan: I thought about that, too. But then I remembered how he was complaining during Thanksgiving about his holiday plans getting swapped around. Originally his dad was going to be here for the winter holidays and not Thanksgiving, but then it got changed. Remember?

That’s one potential road block out of the way. Asher asks about money, as the endeavor to pull this thing off is usually a group effort. Dylan states that if they let the other techies know their plan, he’s sure they’ll chip in and help in whatever way they can. As for decorations, Dylan points out that they saved the ones they made from last year, so all they have to do is retrieve the old ones rather than make a ton of new ones.

Asher is warming up to the idea, but one glaring question still remains.

Asher: Do you really think we can pull this off in a day? The party was supposed to be tomorrow night. You actually think you and I can do this on our own.

Dylan: That, my dear --

[ Dylan grabs his duffle bag from underneath his heavy coat, dropping it onto the bed for emphasis. ]

Dylan: Is why I’m sleeping over. We’ve got an early start tomorrow!

So it’s settled. Dylan and Asher are going to save Christmas.

INT. GARCIA HOME - ASHER’S ROOM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Setting the Trap” as scored by John Williams for Home Alone || Instrumental

Asher’s alarm wakes them both up bright and early, the sun barely rising outside. He blinks himself awake, pulling himself free from hugging Dylan from behind and shaking him awake as well. If they’re going to do this thing, they’ve gotta get moving.

Thusly, a brief montage ensues of the two of them getting geared up for the mission. Pulling on their cozy sweaters, getting that good dental hygiene in with a brush and floss, Dylan attaching his skateboard to the back of his backpack and tightening the straps on his shoulders.

EXT. GARCIA HOME - DAY

Then Dylan kicks open the front door, the two of them ready for action. Heavy coats, gloves, and cute knit hats abound.

Dylan: Let’s get some holiday cheer, bitches.

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

As they embark on their journey, however, they quickly become aware that this is going to be more difficult than they previously anticipated. Snow continued to fall overnight, and the sidewalks and roadways are slick with slush and ice.

So they’re stumbling and slipping as they make their way to the grocery store near Asher’s street, catching one another from falling entirely. Asher confirms that everyone has seen their text in the Techie Tots group chat, and slowly they’re sending in Venmo payments to chip in.

Dylan sets a timer on his phone. It’s 8AM now, and they’ll want to get to Lucas’s apartment by 8PM if they want a chance of catching him in his least Grinch-like mood. Especially given that Riley’s party is scheduled to start around the same time. That gives them 12 hours to get everything done. Piece of cake!

Just as he declares it so, Dylan nearly slips. Asher just barely manages to put him back upright.

INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY

Asher and Dylan step through the sliding doors, two men on a mission. All things considered, they’re lucky the store is even open with the weather and the holiday coming up. The MANAGER who just opened up questions what they’re doing there so damn early, especially with this terrible weather.

Dylan: It’s a noble mission that brings us here today, good sir. A labor of love, a perhaps doomed attempt to save a friend already gone, but an important task nonetheless --

Manager: Yeah, whatever, man. Just come to the front when you’re done.

Asher and Dylan exchange a look and a shrug. Asher retrieves the list from his pocket, gearing up to go through the process of collecting all the necessary rations in record time.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Little Saint Nick” as performed by The Beach Boys || Performed by Asher Garcia & Dylan Orlando

While the boys grab their cart and make their way through the aisles, the task is intercut with our first Dylan & Asher holiday duet. Naturally, Dylan plays his guitar and harmonizes while Asher takes the lead vocal. It’s unclear whether Dylan is actually not a bad singer as myth has led his classmates to believe or if it’s just a product of their imagination, but who are we to question it? It’s Dylan & Asher!

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

For the purposes of the performance, it’s cut between their duet alter egos wandering the aisles of the supermarket and performing on the AAA stage. As for how we can tell them apart, the Duet Dasher are far more well-groomed and dressed than their actual selves. They’re greatly channeling cheeky 50s energy, with coiffed hair and adorable fancy sweaters and vests.

To that point, the entire performance is purposefully cheeky. It’s somewhat of a satirical take on how serious the performances tend to be at AAA each week, Asher and Dylan acting more so as if they’re in a music video. They grin right at the camera, do a lot of synchronized steps, croon into the microphone like they’re the Beatles on Ed Sullivan.

INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY

Meanwhile, actual Asher and Dylan are painstakingly gathering all of their materials. Asher is once again riding in the cart while Dylan pushes, the former grabbing things and crossing them off the list as they go.

At one point the camera watches between two aisles as Dylan and Asher go back and forth with their cart, goofing off but also accidentally losing control of the cart and chasing after it. But they manage to accomplish their first task, sidling up to the register and unloading their stuff just as Duet Dasher gives us a parting wink from the auditorium stage.

Just as they’re adding up their total bill, Asher realizes in horror that not everyone has sent in their contribution yet. There’s no way they’re going to be able to pay without everyone’s contribution, especially without Isadora’s usual help. At first Dylan suggests using “the fund,” to which Asher snaps in exasperation.

Asher: I’m not using my college fund!

Dylan: It’s a holiday emergency!

Asher instead focuses on who hasn’t paid, narrowing down the culprit and letting out a feral growl Lucas would be proud of as he dials their number. This leaves Dylan to engage with the cashier and buy them some time, which he does with a bright beam and a bat of his eyelashes.

Dylan: Hi. How’s it going for ya?

The moment whoever Asher is calling picks up, he lets them have the full force of his anxious, feral stress.

Asher: NATHANIEL!

INT. NATE’S HOME - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Nate is crashed on his couch, eating junk food and playing video games as he enjoys the first day of winter break. He puts the phone on speaker and props it on his shoulder, keeping his focus on the game while he chats.

Nate: Hey, Ashlie. What’s up, man?

INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY

The scene continues between the two locations as Asher and Nate argue about the payment. Asher knows he saw his text, and everyone else has chipped in. But in Nate’s defense, as he goes on to say, there’s no guarantee that any of this is even going to work. It’s a noble pursuit, and he has mad respect for both of them…

Dylan: What’s he saying?

Asher: He has great respect for both of us.

Dylan: Aw. That’s so sweet. Tell him I love him, too.

… but he’s not going to just throw money around. The chances of them pulling this off are slim, and he needs the money. While Asher continues to nudge him, Dylan continues to try and win over their cashier.

Dylan: So… um… do you come here often?

Cashier, flatly: I’m a cashier.

Dylan: Yeah. [ a beat ] Tough business to be in this time of year, eh? Or... any time of year...

Asher is starting to wear Nate down, so he agrees he’ll send over his fair share… but with an “insurance fee.”

Asher: An insurance fee? What the hell is an insurance fee?

Nate: You know, like, money back guarantee.

Asher: Well, yeah, of course we’ll pay you guys back if --

Nate: But that’s not very incentivizing, is it? No, that’s what the fee is for. If you guys blow it, then I get my money back plus fifteen percent interest.

Asher: Fifteen percent?! Who are you, Scrooge McDuck?

Dylan has changed tactics, digging through his wallet for other potential forms of payment.

Dylan: Do you perchance take hug coupons? [ a beat, then quickly ] Wait, no, I need those...

The clock is ticking, so Asher can’t afford to argue much longer. After Nate points out that it’s merely common sense business practice -- the only helpful class he’s really taken at AAA so far -- Asher caves and agrees to the insurance fee.

Nate: My contribution is incoming. I’m wishing you both the best of luck, honest.

Asher: Kiss my ass, Nathaniel Dean Martinez!

Nate: God, feral Asher is my favorite Asher. See y’all tonight… maybe.

Once Asher hangs up, it’s mere seconds before Nate’s payment comes through. He comes to Dylan’s aid and swipes that debit card. Groceries secured!

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

Asher and Dylan attempt to travel once again, only now they’re balancing grocery bags in that equation as well. They have to hold onto one another’s arms to stay upright, and even then they continue to slip a lot. At this point, they’re more concerned about the contents of their bags than their own well-being.

INT. GARCIA HOME - KITCHEN - DAY

It’s a relief when they make it back to the house, unpacking and inventorying their items and putting what needs to be refrigerated away for safe-keeping.

As Asher stocks the fridge, Dylan crosses the shopping off their list. The next item is a big ticket one -- finding the perfect tree. It’s going to be tough without Isadora’s usual expertise, not to mention that the first task took longer than expected. They’re now running with only 8 hours to go.

Plenty of time, Dylan declares. But if they’re looking to save minutes, he has ideas about how they could speed up their travel… as a sunshine grin takes over his features...

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Holiday Flight” as scored by John Williams for Home Alone || Instrumental

Dylan’s brilliant idea is, inarguably, bonkers. The two of them are dangerously riding his skateboard down the slippery streets, Dylan using a broom to push them along rather than risking slipping on his own feet.

It’s insane, but it sure is speeding up their distance per minute. Dylan is grinning like a maniac as he steers them along and maneuvers around other seasoned New Yorkers, Asher holding on for dear life from behind.

Dylan: See! I told you it would work!

Asher: [ hiding his head in Dylan’s shoulder ] We’re going to die, we’re going to die --

EXT. CHRISTMAS TREE FARM - DAY

Thankfully, the two of them make it to the tree farm in one piece, albeit windswept. Asher looks a little sick, and he has to hold onto Dylan’s arm just to keep from getting dizzy and stumbling.

The daunting task of picking a tree doesn’t help matters. The selection is smaller than usual so close to the holiday, but it’s still a maze of potential greenery and the two of them don’t even know where to start.

Dylan makes a bold move, scanning the rows until he spots one and claims it’s the perfect choice. He, of course, has eyed the largest tree in the bunch. The TREE ATTENDANT comes over to join them, seeing if they need help.

Dylan: How much for this one?

Asher: Well, actually, we’re kind of looking for ones that are a bit --

Tree Attendant: Why, that one there is Rhonda. She’s sort of the queen around here, one of our burliest residents.

Dylan: Rhonda, Asher!

Asher reminds Dylan that they’re looking for something small, even if Rhonda is… beautiful in her own special way. Dylan is heartbroken, but he assures Rhonda that it’s nothing to do with her. It’s all them.

The tree attendant guides them to the more appropriately sized trees for what they’re looking for, Dylan wondering how on Earth they get trees to grow this small.

Dylan: Oh, of course. [ matter-of-factly, with a wise nod ] Shrink ray.

Tree Attendant: … he’s real special, isn’t he?

Asher, fondly: Yeah, he’s one of a kind.

The tree attendant leaves them to look at their pickings, but the task still feels daunting. So many potential trees, so little time.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Sleigh Ride” as performed by The Carpenters || Performed by Asher Garcia & Dylan Orlando

Same routine as the last duet, only no auditorium jump this time around. While actual Dylan and Asher make their ways through the trees and attempt to identify the perfect one, Duet Dasher with their fancy threads and swoopy hair casually saunter their way down the aisles while performing the Carpenters classic. Naturally, cheek comes with the territory.

While Duet Dasher is skipping around in the snow, Dylan and Asher are narrowing down their search. Once they think they’ve found the right one, another road block develops -- this tiny tree is way heavier than it looks. Thus, the second half of the number involves them attempting different ways to move this tree between the two of them… with limited success.

Duet Dasher wrap their performance by playing leap frog, popping up behind the rows of trees, and grinning at the camera again; Dylan and Asher wrap up their try at getting the tree mobile by Dylan pulling Asher while he holds onto the tree, both of them losing their grip and collapsing off-screen into the snow.

EXT. CHRISTMAS TREE FARM - DAY - LATER

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Star of Bethlehem” as scored by John Williams for Home Alone || Instrumental (first ~90 seconds)

Dylan sits forlornly by the tree while Asher paces, impatiently waiting for back up. It arrives in the form of Dave and Jade, who express that they got their call and are there to help with the big emergency. Asher explains the dilemma, gesturing to Dylan sitting by their choice selection.

Jade, unimpressed: This is the tree you picked? You guys are hopeless.

Asher is offended, but Jade promises them she’ll help them pick a better tree in no time. She was the original assistant to Isadora the first time they did this in freshman year. Dylan holds out his hands and Asher helps pull him back to his feet, the four of them setting off.

Once Jade has identified the superior fir, Dylan and Asher point out the weight problem. It’s too heavy for them to transport, especially with nothing but Dylan’s skateboard. Dave gives it a try, lifting the small evergreen like it’s nothing and hoisting it onto his shoulder.

Dylan, delighted: You are a miraculous freak of nature, Davis Williams.

If they’re showing up to this shindig anyway, Jade and Dave agree that they’ll play tree keeper and make sure it gets to Lucas’s on time. The group of them head out to pay together.

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

Asher and Dylan are catching a quick lunch with Jade and Dave, the four of them sharing a pick-me-up on the street corner and discussing how the holiday heroics are going. Dave stands with the tree, balancing it against his hip.

Dave: I wonder how they make Christmas trees this small. [ a beat ] Oh, duh.

Dylan/Dave, in unison: Shrink ray.

While Dylan breaks off a piece of his food and hands it to Asher for him to try, the latter explains that they’re making good progress. They’ve got 5 hours left, and all they have to do is retrieve the decorations and they’ll be all set. So if they could grab them from Jade, that would be great.

Jade: What? I don’t have them.

Asher starts choking in surprise, all of them reacting accordingly. Jade and Dave back off a bit while Dylan pats Asher’s back, rubbing his shoulders when he’s able to breathe again.

Asher: What? What do you mean you don’t have them?

Jade: They’re still in the auditorium as far as I know. When we were cleaning up last year, Lucas told me that he was going to put them somewhere for safekeeping. So I handed them over and that was the last I saw of them.

Dylan pulls a napkin and lightly dabs at Asher’s face. He gives him a grateful nod, still trying to wrap his mind around this bombshell.

Asher: God, Jade, don’t you know not to trust Lucas with anything?

Jade: Um, no, I know not to trust Dave with anything.

Dave, flatly: … ow.

Jade holds up a hand, waving him off. This completely changes Dylan and Asher’s understanding of what they set out to do.

But they’ve still got to try. They finish their meal quickly and bid Dave and Jade farewell, assuring them that they’ll see them at Lucas’s at 8 sharp. Dave is confused that they still think they can pull this off, but they’re already boarding Dylan’s skateboard death trap again.

Dave: You guys are cracked.

Dylan: High praise, coming from you, my friend.

Dylan gives them a salute, Asher holding on tight as they push off down the street. Jade and Dave watch them go, shaking their heads and finishing their snack.

EXT. AAA - DAY

The sun is beginning to set as Dylan and Asher stop outside the school, rushing up the slippery steps. They try the front entrance first, which is obviously locked.

Dylan: [ with a shrug ] Worth a shot.

EXT. AAA - RIGHT SIDE - DAY

They continue to do a full perimeter sweep of the building, searching for any potential entry points. It seems like a lost cause until they get around to the side of the building where the custodial services backs out to, a window left cracked open on the second floor offering a slim chance. Asher points it out, the two of them standing close together and staring up at it.

Just as they’re brainstorming how to approach the situation, Asher’s phone rings. He picks it up, surprised to hear from Isadora on the other end. While he turns around to focus on the call, Dylan rolls his shoulders and marches towards the building. He climbs up onto the dumpster against the wall, starting an ambitious scaling to get to the window.

Isadora asks if Asher thinks he or the techies will be attending Riley’s party. He states that they aren’t, Dylan disappearing out of frame above him as Isadora seems to react negatively to that. Asher points out that this shouldn’t exactly be surprising considering none of them really know how to interact with Riley at this point -- like sure, he’d like to be there, but that’s not their tradition is it?

Isadora: What, that tradition that isn’t even happening this year? That the own creator of said tradition ditched because he’s just not in the mood?

Asher: Look, I’m not saying it’s a perfect --

Isadora: So you’re just gonna hold allegiance to this thing that isn’t even happening for… what? A guy who doesn’t even care?

Asher grows defensive, attempting to speak on behalf of Lucas and argue that he does care. The last thing he needs at the moment is a reality check, but Isadora is especially good at giving them. Feeling cornered, he makes a brusque effort to deflect focus.

Asher: Well it’s easy for you to say, isn’t it? You’ve got tons of new friends now, so what do you have to worry about?

Isadora goes quiet on the other end. Asher realizes how harsh he may have come across, closing his eyes and sighing. He tries to turn it around.

Asher: Look, I just meant… you’ve got a lot going for you, Isa. You should go. Have fun, enjoy the holiday with people who are actually happy to share it with you. [ a beat ] Sometimes, I wish I were doing the same.

Before either of them can continue, Asher is startled by Dylan falling from the ledge outside the second story window and landing in the open dumpster. Asher shrieks.

Isadora: Asher, what --

Asher: Gotta go!

He hangs up without further explanation, sprinting over to the dumpster. He shouts for Dylan, jumping halfway up the dumpster and hanging over the side.

Dylan pops his head up, obviously dazed. Asher grips his shoulders and face, checking for irreversible damage.

Asher: Oh my God, are you okay?

Dylan: … well. That’s gonna hurt tomorrow. Ha.

Asher helps pull him from the dumpster. He’s a bit unsteady on his feet, Asher having to rush forward and stabilize him when he almost falls over. Asher wonders if they should go to the ER, but Dylan waves him off.

Dylan: I’ve had… worse falls. Ha ha, remember when I tried to skateboard into the subway and broke my arm and three of my toes?

Asher: …  I try not to.

The situation is growing increasingly bleak. It’s getting dark, and there’s clearly no way they’re going to be able to get inside.

Dylan: Just give me a minute, then I’ll try again --

Asher: Try -- try again? No, no you are not trying that again!

Dylan: Well, if it’s the only way inside --

Asher: No. No, sorry, I didn’t ask for a dead boyfriend for Christmas!

It isn’t going to work. They’ve only got 3 hours left, and there are still so many pieces that aren’t working. Asher is starting to spiral, the hopelessness of the semester finally creeping up on him. Dylan suggests they give up on the decorations and just move forward with the party anyway, but Asher questions why they’re even bothering at all. They should just go home.

He marches back towards the main street in a huff. It takes Dylan a second, but he shakes off his daze and jogs after him.

EXT. AAA - NIGHT

The sun has set as Asher stumbles down the steps and back towards the sidewalk, Dylan calling for him to wait up. He does, wiping at his eyes as his boyfriend catches up to him. A light snow is beginning to fall again.

Dylan asks why Asher is suddenly giving up. They’ve still got time and solid chances, but Asher disagrees. They’ve hit a dead end, and this entire semester has been leading towards it. And what’s the point anyway? With how Lucas has been acting lately, he probably won’t even care about all the effort they put into this. He won’t care. He probably doesn’t even want them there.

Dylan: You know that’s not true.

Asher: Maybe everyone else was right. We’re being stupid. I’m being stupid. [ with a tearful huff, quietly ] Maybe sometimes things just fall apart.

He’s reached a breaking point, and rightfully so. Dylan clearly wants to help, or say something that will magically fix things, but he doesn’t have the words. He’s never been smart with words.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “O Holy Night” as scored by John Williams for Home Alone || Instrumental

Suddenly, the street lights flick on as the sounds of a church organ float down the somewhat empty street. Dylan looks over his shoulder to search for the source, blinking the snow out of his eyes. He seems to find what he’s looking for, hit with an idea.

Gently, he reaches out and takes Asher’s hand. Asher lifts his gaze to meet his eyes, looking at him curiously. Dylan doesn’t say anything, but gives him a tentative smile before beginning to lead the way down the street.

Asher follows without question, letting him guide the way.

INT. CHURCH - NIGHT

Dylan and Asher arrive at the entrance of the church a block or so away from Adams, cautiously making their way inside. The music is coming from the youth church choir, rehearsing for Christmas Eve mass most likely. Yes, this is directly reminiscent of Home Alone.

Still hand in hand, the boys toss an uncertain look to the church worker standing by the main entrance. But she doesn’t give them any trouble, offering a welcoming nod and smile as they ease their way inside. This definitely isn’t Charlie’s church, in any case.

They make their way further inside and settle into one of the back pews, Dylan sitting down first and waiting for Asher to join him. For a moment they absorb the atmosphere, the calm beauty of the architecture and the soothing tones of the choir. It’s a well-needed second to breathe after the day they’ve had. Dylan rests their joined hands against Asher’s knee.

Considering how much work they’ve been doing alone, it’s a bit of a surprise to be addressed by someone new.

Man: Mind if I join you?

Asher and Dylan turn to the aisle, shocked to see their new visitor outside of school.

Asher/Dylan: Janitor Harley Keiner???

HARLEY KEINER jokes about how he does in fact exist outside of AAA, before posing the question again. Both of them nod, scooting down a bit to make room.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Star of Bethlehem - Voice” as scored by John Williams for Home Alone || Instrumental

As Harley settles in next to Asher, he wonders what he’s doing there. Harley claims he could ask them the same thing, before going on to point out one of the young girls singing in the youth choir. He explains that she’s his niece, and while he doesn’t come around for the actual service since he’s far from a practiced man of faith, he does like to come and listen to them rehearse. Sort of a little tradition he has.

Dylan: Oh, we know all about traditions.

Harley: That right?

Asher: Well, thought we did. Don’t think it’s going to shape up all that well this year.

Harley: Ah, yeah. Your secret little auditorium party, yeah?

Dylan/Asher, in shock: You know about that?!

Harley: Boys, my entire job is to know the status of that school day in and day out --

Dylan: I thought it was to clean.

Harley: Tip of the iceberg, Orlando.

That seems to blow Dylan’s mind. His expression conveys as much as he tries to process it, while Asher awkwardly apologizes for any trouble their tradition might have caused. But Harley waves him off. He says he’s not against a little holiday cheer, nor the harmless tomfoolery that might accompany it. He’s no stranger to tomfoolery.

Neither is their ringleader, he knows. And given that they’re locked out in the cold, Harley guesses that Lucas must not be helping the endeavor this year. They agree, in vague terms, but explain that it almost makes them feel like they need to make it happen even more so.

Harley: I’m not arguing with that. Truth be told, Lucas reminds me a lot of myself when I was your age. Good ideals, less than ideal circumstances, always looking for the quick thrill or easy way out. Need a good distraction, you know?

Asher and Dylan exchange a look. Sounds about right.

Harley: Only difference is, I was kicking it all on my own. Wasn’t great about keeping friends, and the ones I had weren’t true blue. So I ended up making all the wrong turns.

Asher: I’m sorry to hear that.

Harley: Oh, hey, don’t go feeling sorry for me. I’m old, I hardly need the sympathy, save it for your friends who need it. And to be honest, I’m lucky. I’m lucky to have ended up where I did, all things considered. But sometimes I do think about what I might be doing now, had things gone differently. [ a beat ] If Lucas has friends like the two of you in his corner, looking out for him, then he’s already far better off than I was.

[ Dylan smiles. Asher thinks on it, then shrugs. ]

Asher: Well, we love him.

Harley: I’ll tell ya, he knows. And it means more than either of you will ever fully know.

Could just be the random musings of their kooky school janitor, but he speaks like he knows what he’s talking about. And Dylan and Asher want to believe it. It’s a good reminder as to why they set out to do this crazy thing in the first place.

Harley sits up, asking if the boys will do him one favor before he heads out. He requests that they apologize to Lucas on his behalf, on account of the whole “pest” situation in the booth. He was just doing his job, but he didn’t realize there would be such immediate ramifications. He never meant for him to get the boot.

Harley: I’m sure it’s no fun to be put out of what you considered home, ‘specially if you were desperate enough to make that your home in the first place.

Asher and Dylan nod along, more than happy to pass on the message. Harley gives them a smile and a warm farewell, wishing both of them the best of luck and happy holidays.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Making the Plane” as scored by John Williams for Home Alone || Instrumental

By the time he’s out of the pew, Asher notices he left behind a few of his keys. He holds them up, calling after him.

Asher: Um, Harley, sir, you forgot your keys.

Harley: [ without looking back ] No, I didn’t.

Asher frowns in confusion, glancing down at the keys in his hands. It hits him at the exact same time it dawns on Dylan, the two of them locking eyes with their jaws dropped open.

Bingo.

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - NIGHT

Dylan and Asher are tearing across the street again, holding hands for balance as they dart their way back towards AAA.

EXT. AAA - BACK ENTRANCE - NIGHT

Dylan slides up to the doors first, Asher tossing him the keys. He unlocks the door and lets out a muted cheer, holding the door open for Asher to run through. Then he leaps in after him, glancing over his shoulder and shutting them inside.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - NIGHT

The halls are dim, the building shut down for the holidays. Only the emergency lights are still on, providing enough light for Dylan and Asher to see as they peer over the windows in the doors to the auditorium.

This, they don’t have the keys for, so they’ll have to improvise. Asher digs in his pocket and retrieves a paper clip, bending it backwards until it’s usable as a lock pick.

Asher: We’ve spent enough time with Lucas in the last three years, this’ll be a snap. All we have to do is --

Asher curses to himself, accidentally pinching his finger while attempting to pick the lock. He sucks at the blood bruise on his finger, Dylan delicately taking the paper clip from his hands.

Dylan: Maybe I should try?

Asher: Yeah, okay.

Like techie dad, like techie son. Dylan is successful in picking the lock, ushering Asher inside.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The ghost light illuminates the stage until Dylan flicks on the lights, Asher wandering to the center of the stage and spinning around. The decorations could be anywhere in the auditorium, and they’ve only got 90 minutes left.

Dylan points out that the decorations have to be in the booth. Where else would Lucas put them? Asher acknowledges the likelihood of this, but Harley didn’t give them the key for it. Before they go to the effort of picking another lock, he thinks they should phone a friend.

Asher dials, waiting impatiently for them to pick up. Dylan continues to wander around the stage, looking for other possible alternatives.

Asher: Jeff? Are you there?

INT. JEFF’S HOME - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Jeff is seated at the counter in his kitchen, his family just off-screen. They’re clearly in the process of making holiday snacks, Jeff just taking a bite of a frosted sugar cookie as he answers the phone.

Jeff: Ash Cash Money. What’s up? How goes saving Christmas?

Asher claims it’s fine, and Jeff goes on to state that he’s got hella good cookies for the party… if they manage to pull it off. Asher claims they will, as Dylan gesturing to a theoretical watch gets him back on track. He questions if Jeff knows whether Lucas hid the decorations in the booth, which Jeff confidently denies.

Jeff: There’s no way they’re in there. I didn’t see them all year, and that booth is not that big. I would’ve seen them if they were there.

[ Asher gives Dylan a shake of his head. Dylan sighs, running his hands through his hair exasperatedly. ]

Jeff: Besides, Lucas’s whole thing was that he wanted to put them somewhere where nosy performers or administrators wouldn’t find them. If they were looking, like you guys, the booth is the first place they would check. He made a point of not being obvious.

Dylan: Damn that beautiful Grinch.

Asher thanks Jeff, before Dylan cops the phone and asks if he would be willing to pick up Dave and Jade and help with the tree. The roads have cleared up, and they’ll be coming from the same area. He and Asher could do it, but they’re running out of time.

Dylan: Besides, there’s the whole thing of the pine needles, and you know how Asher gets about messes. We’d be picking needles out of my Jeep for like a year.

Jeff: Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m on it. Good luck, gays.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Attack On the House” as scored by John Williams for Home Alone || Instrumental

Dylan salutes on instinct, hanging up and handing the phone back to Asher. The two of them are at a loss, not sure where to look next. There’s way too much ground to cover with the time they have remaining.

Dylan: Well, you know what we have to do, don’t you?

Asher: What?

Dylan, boldly: We’ve got to think like Lucas.

Asher: [ making a disturbed face ] … I don’t wanna.

Dylan declares that it’s the only way, rushing over to stand with him and taking his hands. He takes a deep breath, claiming that they’ll use the same practices as that exercise stretching thing Asher makes them do.

Asher: … you mean yoga?

Dylan: Yeah! Except instead of channeling the greater cosmic energy, we’re… channeling the energy of our demonic best friend.

Asher, wearily: We’re gonna get possessed.

Still, it may very well be the only way. Dylan instructs him to close his eyes, both of them letting out a deep breath. They release hands as they each begin to pace, eyes still closed. They’re channeling Lucas… thinking like Lucas…

Asher: I’m… thinking loyal. Unapologetic. Weirdly flirty.

Dylan: Sounds about right.

Asher: I’m… dressing badly. Need a haircut.

Dylan: Repressing my emotions --

Asher, sharply: No regard for other people’s feelings --

Dylan: … well, at least we’re being honest.

They continue the exercise, gearing their train of thought towards where Lucas would hide something. Dylan takes the reins.

Dylan: I’m… definitely still keeping it in the auditorium.

Asher: Definitely.

Dylan: I’m not sure I even actually know any other part of the school, even though I complain about it ninety percent of the day. I might have a crush on the auditorium.

Asher: Complaining is definitely on the right track.

Dylan: I’m thinking… costume loft. There’s so many other bags and things in there, no one would notice --

Asher: But no, I wouldn’t. Because that’s where people go to hook up, and --

Dylan/Asher, in unison: I’m scared of all forms of intimacy!

Dylan: Good catch, good catch.

Another failure, another chance to try again.

Asher: I’m thinking… maybe the prop loft?

Dylan: No, nope I wouldn’t do that. Because I know Asher would find it, and he’d get so distracted with trying to organize it that he might overdo it and we might have to end up getting a bunch of new decorations anyway.

Asher pauses, opening his eyes and giving Dylan a look. Dylan tilts his head at the quiet, peeking to look at him and catching the expression on his face.

Dylan, quickly: But his boyfriend Dylan Orlando would love it if he did that!

Asher sneers, shaking off the moment and redirecting his focus. He heads to the center of the stage, doing another 360 turn and shrugging. Dylan drifts over to join him.

Asher: Lucas wouldn’t go beyond the auditorium, but he wouldn’t do something like the dressing rooms where the performers dominate. And we’ve considered like every main techie locale.

Dylan: Then where else? All there is left as a possibility would be --

Realization dawns on them once again, Asher frowning. Slowly, the two of them lift their gaze to look above them, where the catwalk hangs so high above them.

Dylan: Damn that beautiful Grinch.

The two of them make their way over to the stairs to the catwalk, a small nook by the dressing room doors that is fenced off by chainlink. They don’t have the key to this gate either -- only Lucas, Isadora, and the faculty do -- but there’s enough room between the lower ceiling here and the top of the fence where someone might be able to squeeze through.

Dylan rolls up his sleeves, gearing up to start climbing the chainlink. Asher watches apprehensively as he goes, but just when it seems that all will work out… Dylan gets stuck. He overestimated the size of the gap, and he’s too tall and broad-shouldered to fit. There’s a reason Lucas never climbs over this thing… apart from just having the key, of course.

Another dead end. Dylan hops back down, commenting who would’ve thought he wouldn’t fit.

Dylan: Who would’ve thought my shoulders would be the death of me?

Asher: I could’ve told you that.

Mini thirst moment aside, Dylan claims he doesn’t know what they’re going to do. He’s not going to be able to make it through, and with Asher’s fear of heights there’s no way he’s going up on that catwalk. What a shame, to have gotten this far only to come out with nothing.

Only Asher doesn’t seem like he’s giving up. He approaches the chainlink, lightly touching the metal and glancing up at the climb. They’ve already wasted their entire day, and Harley’s words of wisdom are rattling around in his skull. This is something they need to do.

Asher: Oh, to hell with it. Boost me, I’m going up.

Dylan kneels down to help Asher start climbing, the latter having had his fair share of practice after being friends with Lucas for so long. He has more luck than Dylan, managing to just squeeze through the opening and end up on the other side. When he jumps down and sticks the landing he throws his hands up on instinct, Dylan mirroring the gesture enthusiastically.

Now all there is left to do is go up. Asher approaches the tiny spiral staircase, gulping as he looks up at it. Dylan comes up to the chainlink and watches forlornly from the other side, obviously wishing he could be there with him.

Dylan: You don’t have to do this.

But all Asher can think about is Lucas. So he does. He really does. Asher exhales a sigh.

Asher: Just don’t let me look down.

INT. AAA - CATWALK - NIGHT

Asher emerges nervously from the stairs, eyeing the catwalk stretching across the stage before him. It seems to go on forever. Already, he’s starting to feel a little woozy.

Dylan pulls him out of it, jogging out of the wings and onto the stage so that he’s underneath him. For every step Asher takes, he takes one with him. With him in spirit, even if he can’t be there to hold his hand in person.

Dylan: You got this. Just focus on walking. One step at a time. Walking and breathing.

Asher nods, keeping his eyes straight ahead of him as he carefully steps out from the platform and onto the suspended catwalk. He swallows, letting out another nervous breath as he takes another step.

Dylan aims to keep him distracted, finding other things to focus on.

Dylan: Let’s think about something else. Think about… production design for the spring production. Or, uh, what you’re going to eat first at the party. [ a beat ] Count backwards from 453 by 7.

Asher: Dyl…

Dylan: I’m serious, it’s harder than it sounds. But okay, sure, no math. Think about Dave’s catastrophic disaster area of a locker -- no wait, don’t do that! That’ll just make you more stressed.

Asher is hardly listening to what he’s actually saying, but it’s clear just hearing his voice is helpful. He’s down to crawling at this point and his eyes are basically screwed shut, but he’s still moving. That’s not nothing.

About halfway across, Asher opens his eyes and squints towards the opposite end where the catwalk bookends. From what he can make out, there seems to be a lump of some kind tucked away in the rafters that could very well be a bag of decorations…

Energized by potential success, Asher scrambles to the other end and drops down in front of the bag, pulling it towards him. To his relief, all of their decorations from last year are tucked inside.

Asher: I got it! Dylan, I found them!

Dylan: You did?

Asher: I did!

Dylan: Hell yeah, paramour!

Asher and Dylan negotiate how to get the thing down, certain there aren’t any breakables that might get destroyed if he drops it. He lowers the bag as far as he can without looking, letting it go. Dylan catches it easily, dropping it at his feet and assuring Asher that he got it. Now he just has to come down and they’re set!

And with 1 hour to spare. It’ll take them half of it to get the groceries and make it to Lucas’s, so not too shabby. Asher nods and climbs back to his feet, making a much quicker trek back across the other direction.

However, Asher’s lack of catwalk experience leaves him unaware of the rickety rung. There’s one specific rung connecting two pieces of the catwalk that’s not as stable as the others -- not a true threat as it’s still highly secured, but it can sure cause quite a disturbance if it’s jostled.

Which is exactly what happens. Asher accidentally knocks his boot against the rung, causing the whole catwalk to groan and tremble in response. It feels like the whole thing is going to come apart and Asher freaks, dropping down to his hands and knees and accidentally sending a spare wrench off the side off the catwalk towards the stage.

Asher: Dylan, look out -- !

Dylan: Ash!

Dylan ducks out of the way, narrowly avoiding being hit by the falling wrench. But he’s hardly concerned about that. He’s far more concerned about how Asher has totally stopped moving, frozen in fear and huddled in the middle of the catwalk. He’s making himself as small as possible, screwing his eyes shut.

Asher: Shit, shit, shit --

Dylan jogs back under the catwalk, trying to get a better angle on what’s going on up there.

Dylan: Ash! Asher, are you okay?

Asher isn’t exactly equipped to answer. He’s on the verge of a panic attack, hands trembling and breathing uneven. Dylan stares up at him, their original mission long forgotten.

Dylan: Ash…

Tentatively, Asher opens his eyes. He can make out Dylan staring up at him through the metal of the catwalk, but the distance from where he is to the ground is way more gripping. He winces and closes his eyes again, shaking his head.

Asher: … just go.

Dylan: What?

Asher: Go on without me. You’ve got the decorations. It’ll be fine.

Dylan: You’re out of your mind, I’m not leaving you here.

Asher claims he has to. For Lucas, and so they don’t owe Nate 15%. Because they’ve wasted all this time, and now his anxious ass is going to blow it. They’ve gotten this far, and he’s not going to be the reason they don’t make it. But Dylan isn’t hearing it.

Dylan: Look, screw Nate and screw the mission, alright? Asher, I’m not leaving you here alone. I’m not going anywhere.

Hard to argue with that. Asher exhales another harsh breath, trying to get control of his breathing. He’s had panic attacks before, he knows he’ll survive it. He just has to breathe.

Dylan tells him he’s going to be with him the whole time, and that they’re going to get him down. He doesn’t even have to open his eyes, he just has to be willing to move. Dylan will talk him through the rest.

Dylan: If anything happens, you know I’ll catch you.

Asher: [ exhaling a nervous laugh ] Then we’ll both be dead --

Dylan: No one is dying. No dead boyfriends for Christmas, remember?

It’s hard to find humor in such a bleak situation, yet somehow Dylan manages. Asher exhales another shaky laugh, still not opening his eyes but less petrified than before. Dylan smiles.

Dylan: I’m with you, Ash. I got you. But you have to move.

So… he does. A little bit. Then a little bit more. He’s completely trusting in Dylan to make sure he’s on the right track, eyes still closed as he gives him encouragement and guidance from below. It’s clear that the two of them are experts at communicating with one another, knowing exactly what to say or how to react to each other.

When there’s only a few more steps left, Asher has made it back to a crouch. He tentatively opens his eyes, and seeing the end so close, scrambles up and makes a mad dash for it. He lands on the platform to the stairs with an exhausted sigh, Dylan cheering for him from down below.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

Asher manages to propel himself through his final escape from the catwalk, handling it on his own until he’s climbing back over the chainlink. He loses his grip with shaky hands and slips off the other side, but as promised, Dylan is there to catch his fall. He holds him around the middle and pulls him back a comfortable distance from the fence, giving both of them the chance to breathe.

Then Asher straightens up, turning around just in time for Dylan to take his face and pull him into an enthusiastic kiss. When they pull apart Dylan can’t stop grinning, still holding his face and looking at him proudly.

Dylan: Asher Garcia, you are the most badass person I know. And you just saved Christmas.

Well, not quite yet. They’ve got just about 30 minutes left, so they better book it.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” as scored by John Williams for Home Alone || Instrumental (first 40 seconds)

Dylan sprints to the stage and grabs the bag of decorations. Then he takes Asher’s outstretched hand, the two of them hitting the lights and dashing out of the auditorium as the music once again swells to accent their frantic travel.

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - NIGHT

One more sequence of the two of them racing through the snowy streets on Dylan’s skateboard graces the screen, Asher still holding on for dear life. Snow continues to fall in flurries around them, as the soothing tones of Hugh Martin float in���

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LIVING AREA - NIGHT

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” as performed by Hugh Martin for Home Alone || Instrumental

Given that we’ve seen the arrival before, we know how that bit goes. Instead, we jump to the party in full swing, Jade and Jeff focused on decorating the tiny tree while Dave chats with GRACE FRIAR in the background.

Nate passes Asher seated in front of the couch, giving him a pat on the shoulder and sharing props for pulling everything off. Asher nods, accepting the praise.

Dylan appears next to him a moment later, plopping down with a sigh and a plate of holiday treats. He hands one of the cookies to Asher and throws an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. Even though their appearance feels more worn and ragged than the first time we saw them arrive to this party, it’s evident how warm and happy they are.

Dylan lightly pokes Asher in the ribs, asking if he has any idea how proud of him he is. Asher kind of brushes him off, but Dylan isn’t letting him shirk the compliments.

Dylan: I mean it. I know we did a lot of wacky stuff today, a lot of which you weren’t exactly comfortable with. I mean, we broke into the school. And you went up in the catwalk, dude.

Asher: Trying to forget those details, yeah.

Dylan: Well, I’m never going to forget it. And you know, everything you’ve already given to help Lucas… just proves what a good friend you are. I’m proud I get to call you that… [ another nudge ] and more.

Asher grows shy at the sincerity, lightly nudging him back. But he decides he has something to say too, holding Dylan’s hand that’s draped over his shoulder.

Asher: Well, you know, the only reason we did any of it was because of you. [ off Dylan’s dismissive shrug ] I’m serious. All of it was your idea, and every time we hit a road block you were the one who found a solution. It was your loyalty that motivated you to suggest we give it a shot in the first place.

Dylan’s turn to be bashful -- something only Asher Garcia can really accomplish. He dips his head down, trying to hold back his smile. Asher waits for him to meet his eyes again.

Asher: You never lose faith. That’s one of my favorite things about you. [ a beat ] That’s why I love you.

After a moment, Dylan breaks into a soft beam. He leans forward and gives him a peck on the cheek, Asher grinning and turning it into a quick kiss on the lips.

They pull back as Lucas enters the frame, plopping down on the floor next to them in front of his mom on the couch. He offers them something from his own plate which they eagerly take, the three of them engaging in easy conversation. Sharing the holiday together, bringing brightness to their best friend’s life, who they worked so hard to pull this off for.

And from how cozy and loving the Friar apartment suddenly feels, clearly that effort is always worth it.

END OF SPECIAL.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” as performed by John Denver & The Muppets || Performed by Asher Garcia, Dylan Orlando, Nate Martinez, Jade Beamon, Dave Williams, and Jeff Monroe

To close out the special and accompany the credits, our six supporting technicians close out with this silly classic. They’re all wearing cute holiday sweaters, Dave has some Rudolph antlers. Dylan is wearing garland like a scarf again, and plays the lead guitar. The jokes and interjections are more suited to their characters than Muppets version, although Dave takes the “Animal” bit and gets too excited and starts shouting about not going so Nate has to bring him back to Earth.

We wish you an ambitious merry Christmas, and a happy techie New Year!

[goodticklebrain]

Q&A August: David Prosser of the Stratford Festival

Remember back when I called Austin Tichenor my Comedy Fairy Godfather? Well, the subject of today’s Q&A August interview is my Shakespeare Fairy Godfather. David Prosser is the Literary and Editorial Director at the Stratford Festival of Canada, and is also indirectly responsible for much of Good Tickle Brain’s growth and success. (Also, if he’s reading this, I would like to sincerely apologize to him for all grammatical errors in today’s post, most likely related to misplaced punctuation, the correct disposition of which I have never properly mastered.)

I met David on Twitter a scant four months after I had started Good Tickle Brain. Fresh out of the gates, with few followers or readers, I was desperately trying to get my work in front of as many eyes as possible. To that end, I went on Twitter and promptly followed everyone I could find who was remotely associated with the Stratford Festival. One of the people I stumbled upon was David, whose wonderfully dry and witty tweets immediately attracted my attention. On day, embroiled in a bit of an ongoing brouhaha with some Oxfordians, David tweeted a riff on “Duke of Earl”, rewriting the chorus as “dupes, dupes, dupes, dupes of Earl”. Never one to shy away from a song parody, I provided the rest of the lyrics. David was amused enough by my efforts that he followed me, and started retweeting my comics. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me at the time.

Later on that year, I was visiting the Stratford Festival with my family, and (of course) tweeting about it when David slid into my DMs and invited me up to the Festival offices to have tea with him before that day’s matinee. I jumped at the chance, and we spent a wonderful half an hour or so chatting in the sunshine on the Festival Theatre balcony. It was like meeting my long-lost benevolent Scottish uncle. David was not only immediately supportive and encouraging of my work, but he also began actively brainstorming ways in which to help me reach a larger audience, specifically among the theatre community. To that end he introduced me to the Shakespeare Theatre Association, which quickly became my Shakespeare family and has helped me grow and develop Good Tickle Brain into what it is today.

There is absolutely no reason why the Literary and Editorial Director of the largest classical repertory theatre in North America should have given the time of day to a random person on the internet who drew sub-par stick figures and routinely committed egregious spelling errors in her text. However, David did not hesitate to lift me up, and has been a constantly warm, supportive, and thoroughly entertaining presence in my life since then.

But I’ll let him talk now. He’s much better at it than I am. 

1. Who are you? Why Shakespeare?

Who am I indeed? Isn’t that the mystery that haunts us all? “Who’s there?” asks Barnardo in the opening words of Hamlet, and that same question echoes down through centuries of subsequent literature. Call me David. Or Prosser, David Prosser.

I was born and grew up in Scotland, where, in early childhood, I first encountered Shakespeare as the author of the “Scottish play” and didn’t realize till some time later that he’d written anything else; came to Canada in my twenties; had a fourteen-year career at a small daily newspaper, where, among other things I was the theatre critic (boo, hiss) and editor of the TV listings (zzzzzz….); then quit in order to spend more time with my wife and cats and to pursue new opportunities for financial ruin; and finally washed up on the shores of the Stratford Festival, where, under various unconvincing job titles (most latterly that of Literary and Editorial Director), I have been an in-house wordsmith for the past quarter-century.

And why Shakespeare? As a nearly dead white male myself, I have a particular affinity for the work of dead white males in general—and Shakespeare in particular has intrigued me ever since childhood, when my father (an English teacher) showed me some black-and-white slides of scenes from a staging of that Scottish play referenced above. I’m sure if I could see them now, those images would prove cheesy; at the time, though, they haunted my imagination; it wasn’t till some time later that I began to discover that there were words to go with them.

As I started to discover the actual plays, I found to my excitement that they had the mind-expanding power of dreams, in which human life is transformed into something rich and strange—an alternative universe of experience, if you like, but one that brilliantly illuminates the “real” one.

2. What moment(s) in Shakespeare always make you laugh?

Sticking with the Scottish play, I generally laugh at Macbeth’s (oops, said it) “‘Twas a rough night,” and I always smile whenever an actor has to tackle the unsayable “O horror, horror, horror! Tongue nor heart / Cannot conceive nor name thee!” Also, I’m afraid I can never suppress a schoolboy snigger when Mountjoy, in Henry V, comes in and announces himself with the words “You know me by my habit.” I can’t remember where I heard it or read it, but someone, somewhere, made a joke about the entire English army responding with rude gestures suggestive of that habit, and I have never been able to get that out of my mind.

3. What’s a favorite Shakespearean performance anecdote?

See Mountjoy above. Also this, one of the many stories from the late Richard Monette’s memoir This Rough Magic: an autobiography “as told to,” er, well, me. Peter Ustinov was playing King Lear at the Stratford Festival in 1979; Richard was playing Edmund.

“At one performance,” Richard recalled, “Peter began, ‘We two alone will sing like birds i’ the cage. . . .’ and then he dried. ‘We’ll sing . . .’ he repeated, ‘and then we’ll sing some more. Oh, we’ll laugh. . . . We’ll dance. . . . And then . . . we’ll sing some more.’ Realizing what had happened, I tried to save him by coming in early with my line: ‘Take them away.’ He regarded me with mild curiosity, then waved me away with his hand—'Foof, foof, foof’—and began the whole speech over again, determined to say it all.”

4. What’s one of the more unusual Shakespearean interpretations you’ve either seen or would like to see?

In 1998, or thereabouts, at a theatre festival in Quebec City, I saw a production of The Tempest directed by Robert Lepage. More precisely, it was La Tempête, a translation into French by Normand Chaurette. What was novel about it were the settings, which were computer-created projections—but not just flat background images. The audience wore polarized 3D glasses throughout, which created the illusion of a three-dimensional landscape and objects (such as the royal ship) that seemed to come floating out into the auditorium. It was a stunning effect, perfectly suited to the magical powers referenced in the play, and it had a huge effect on me.

5. What’s one of your favorite Shakespearean “hidden gems”?

An obvious one, obviously, but it’s the “wretched strangers” speech from Sir Thomas More.

6. What passages from Shakespeare have stayed with you?

I am constantly on the alert for opportunities to work any of the following into my conversation:

“Thou turn’st mine eyes into my very soul, / And there I see such black and grainèd spots / As will not leave their tinct.”

“I’ll no pullet sperm in my brewage.” (Have to be careful about that one when placing an order in a bar or restaurant, though, or the server might spit in my Sauvignon.)

“For this relief much thanks.” (Always apt in washrooms.)

More seriously, I always get a wave of nostalgia for the homeland when I hear Macbeth say, “Light thickens, and the crow makes wing to the rooky wood.” For some reason that line evokes Scotland for me so strongly for me that I feel sure Shakespeare must have toured there when the plague was on in London.

7. What Shakespeare plays have changed for you?

When I was an undergraduate, a professor told me that Titus Andronicus was an absolutely dreadful play, what could Shakespeare have been thinking; and for many years I believed her. Then I actually read it, and thought, wow.

8. What Shakespearean character or characters do you identify the most with?

Wow, that is a question, isn’t it? Erm, well…. Oh, I don’t know: it might be…. Or, no, maybe not. No, shoot, I just can’t make up my mind. Sorry, I know I’m procrastinating, but I’m going to have to set this aside for a while, while I think on it more precisely. Maybe get a bit of sea air to clear my mind….

Okay, that’s better. I’d like to think it maybe would be Benedick, but I’m very much afraid it might be Falstaff. Or King John.

Actually, a few years ago, I really identified with the King of France, but, lacking a Helena, I had surgery for it, and I’m fine now.

9. Where can we find out more about you? Are there any projects/events you would like us to check out?

I pop up from time to time on Facebook (though not Instagram, which I’ve never seen the point of). Occasionally I make snarky remarks on Twitter. Otherwise, I can sometimes be found in the lobby of the Festival Theatre, giving Lobby Talks before selected performances. C’mon down! They’re free!

(Back to Mya) Thanks so much to David for taking the time to answer my questions! If you can, pick up a copy of former Stratford Festival artistic director Richard Monette’s memoir, This Rough Magic, which David worked on. It’s a wonderful read.

COMING THURSDAY: My other self, my counsel’s consistory, my pocket dramaturg!

[ashren]

Interview with a Fic Writer

Thanks for tagging me @socially-awkward-skeleton :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10 right now! I did have some fics on an old side blog that i forgot to move to Ao3 before deleting rip to those :,) but even then it would only be like ~14

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

33,229

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Most of my top 5 are from Check, Please because I wrote for that fandom a while ago so they've also been up for ages now! from

5-Duck and Cover (TOW- Felix's POV)

4-Waiting for the Opportune Moment (Check please! nurseydex)

3-Vacationland! (check please! nurseydex and also my first fic on Ao3 lol)

2- Bitty's Favorite Peach (check please! zimbits)

1- Bitty's Beer League (check please! zimbits au)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I generally try to! But I also forget to a lot bc I forget to respond to literally everything 😭

I super appreciate every comment i get tho, truly 🥺💕

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

TBH i'm a sucker for happy endings bc idk the world sucks enough already (that's not to say i won't consume angsty media, i'm just not here to write it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

so p much all my fics have a happy ending lol. however, i do have some of Ren's pre Hope life written out and if i ever posted that as a fic it would 100% be the angstiest fic

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

haha yeah so they're all happy :,) but the "happiest" would probably Bitty's Beer League bc it's my longest fic and they're idiots who like each other but don't realize it

OR u could say the happiest ending is in Max Capacity bc that's the only smut i have up heheh 😏

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not that I've posted. They usually super self indulgent so I never bother polishing them up or anything

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Lol nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

:^) I have One up and i have many half finished pieces scattered in my docs 😅

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not beyond just brainstorming before hand

13. What’s your all time favourite ship?

HARD ONE

Spideypool i think

I always go back to those two

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

Parvati's POV story 😭 i just lost steam on it immediately bc i hadn't figured out a lot of Ren's character yet, and now it's just sitting there while i obsess over pirates

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at writing fluffy pieces! Like i said, i write a lot of happy stories so i've gotten a bit better at writing those cute fluffy moments

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

stealing from skelly, general descriptions 🙃

i tend to get so wrapped up in moving the story along that i forget to orient the reader in the space a lot of times

which is why editing for me is VERY important bc usually that means for me "adding in very important details ur reader needs to understand the story" lol

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i don't do it bc i only know one language but i love it when authors do it in general!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

........i was a kid, keep that in mind 😅

twas blink 182 rpf 😭 i grew out of that p quick and then i wrote for some small fandoms occasionally but Check Please was the first thing i posted to Ao3!

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet, but want to?

Many ships, probs too many to count, but for fandoms, probably the FAHC (fake AH crew/ Achievement Hunter GTA personas) or honestly spideypool! id love to write more marvel comics fanfic in general but i'm not as comfortable with their voices (yet)

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

That I've published? Bitty's Beer League! It's the longest fic i have and i spent a lot of time on it when i wrote it, and even though it's not the polished piece ever, it's still a fun reread for me :)

That I haven't published yet? This Pirate Au, i'm going in hard on it and might be able to post some chapters soon!

i waited so long to do this i think everyone i know has been tagged, but if u wanna do it consider this me tagging you ! :3

[scraplette]

Lost Light #6 Thoughts&Feels

Time for a thoughts&feel post.

With this issue we finally rap up the opening arc of Lost Light. So, let’s get started!

MASSIVE SPOILERS beneath the read more.

=Recap of issue #5: NOT ACTUALLY THAT MANY FUNCTIONISTS.

=Rodimus punched FU!Rung!

HOW DARE

=”What the hell are you doing?!”

“I… I… What the hell am I doing?”

I love Rodimus here. I’ll talk about it more in-depth later, but this is something to pay attention to.

=Luna 2 continues to look awesome. Fair play to Lawrence and Lafuante.

Oh now this is interesting. I twas hinted that there might’ve been a little something between Skids and Nautica, but I think this is the first vocal confirmation of it, or at least of something.  

Because, even if there was something, Nautica chose to keep it platonic. She went to Rewind for advice regarding Cybertronian Amica/Conjunx rites and he revealed that the Amica rite was only performed after one or both bots involved felt they weren’t romantically suited.

Did Nautica choose Amica because she honestly saw Skids as a friend only? Or did the looming thread of the DJD effect her decision?

=I’m loving Kaput’s design!

I-Is that Prowl?!

=Still loving Drift and Ratchet’s new looks and more supportive outlook.

=Also loving how upbeat Drift is in the face of moon-related death.

=Ratchet desperately trying to stop Rung is heart breaking :( he knows it isn’t his Rung, but it must be hard seeing one of your friends sacrifice themselves right in front of you. This comes not even a day after Skids’ similar death.

=”The pain… It’ll be like nothing you’ve ever experienced.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised.”

ACK! MY FEELINGS!

=Lug’s full name is Lug of the Celestica Tetracorna Caprica. Lug, I love you dearly, but that is a looooooooong name.

=Nuuuuu :( poor Lug.

=Have we ever seen the rites of transition before?

=I like that Anode is annoyed on Lug’s behalf, but I also find it funny that Lug gave up on religion after a day.

=OMG! Kaput has to do a splits to kneel down!

So, we’re on a planet with an abundance of spark energy, and a Cybertronian who can create crystals that store spark energy. Hmm…

=Methinks Anode has a plan.

= [Glares at Terminus] Oh, so you were aiming for the tractor beam, were you? You KNEW Rod and company were on that cog.

I got my eye on you…

It must have pyshically hurt Minimus to say all that.

=GASP!

OMG

YAAAAAAAAS

BEST. TITLE. PAGE. EVER!

This is so ridiculous and I unabashedly love it. The sight of a Titan-sized Rung punching the Functionist controlled Luna 2, accompanied by the tagline “This machines kills fascists” is the best thing ever and totally makes up for this arcs failings.

=Seriously. Love it. It’s my new lockscreen image.

=And the sentio metalico is brought back into play. Anode is going to bond it to the flickering remains of Lug’s spark, hopefully resurrecting her.

=”Bloody Hell, he just punched the moon!”

[Sobbing tears of joy] This is so good.

=You know things are serious when Brainstorm tells you to focus.

=Rodimus, that isn’t how you use quid pro quo- Ah, no worries. Minimus corrected him.

=I feel like the finger of silence is an actual things Rodimus uses often.

=”I liked him better when he was useless.”

I really feel for Clicker. Know that the person you looked up to, and was the figurehead for your rebellions, disproves everything you fought for must be beyond demoralising. Thank goodness, Megatron is there with some inspirational words.

I crush your little head.

=Rodimus. For the last time. That is not how you use quid pro quo!

=”I’ve staying behind.” No one cares, Terminus.

Oh Rodimus :( I’m so sorry.

=Always happy to see more info about baby Transformers.

=Oh! It’s Nine-of-Twelve. I wondered what happened to him.

=”Goodbye, Terminus. Seeing you again- if only for one more day -was a miracle.”

It’s still so weird to me that only a day has passed since DOTL.

=Still really cool that Megatron intends to keep his word. He’s really come to trust Minimus and Rodimus.

=Okay. There are two ways to interpret this scene. Either Roller lied or mucked up the information about the new transmat locations, or Terminus lied.

I’m more inclined to believe it was terminus because, through this whole arc, he’s come across as really shady. He’s also made it no secret that he wants Megatron to stay on FU!Cybertron.

=I’m really dissapointed by FU!Rung’s death ]=

He died trying to save Cybertron, and he did so whilst suffering immense pain on top of two millions years worth of torture. He knew it would kill him, but he still did it. Apparently his sacrifice garners two panels and a “Let’s go!”

:[ Yeah, I’m gonna write fix-it fic where Megatron and Clicker come back for his body and give him the burial and respect he damn well deserves.

And now it’s times to talk about poor Rodimus. What Getaway, and the rest of the LL crew, did has deeply effected him. His outbursts are obvious signs of his frustrations and anger. His shock and confusion after punching FU!Rung is so sad. Without a healthy outlet for all his emotions, he’s lashing out at those around him, namely Megatron. In Getaway’s absence, Megatron is the perfect target for all of Rodimus’ frustrations since Megatron is the major reason for the mutiny in the first place. Everything that happened- all the deaths -wouldn’t have happened if Megatron hadn’t been on the ship.

The mutiny still would’ve happened, Rodimus is not blameless here, but it wouldn’t have escalated the way it did(DJD, Galactic Council, OVERLORD) if nor for Megatron’s presence.

Putting his trust in Megatron and having it, seemingly, broken was the tipping point. If Minimus hadn’t said what he did, I honestly think Rodimus would’ve waited a moment longer.

But, once again, Rodimus let his wrought emotions take over. He’s reminded of Getaway, and all that rage and bitterness comes rushing forward. In that moment he makes a decision he can’t undo. There are going to be consequences.

=He’s got so many emotions!

=I’ve seen other posters suggest Minimus purposely said “Get away” to goad Rodimus into leaving Megatron behind. Not sure how I feel about that. However, it’s clear he and Megatron were close. If LL'7 covers are to be believes, it might explore their relationship in the next issue.

=Conveniently coloured coded transport rooms!

Firstly. Shut up, Terminus.

Secondly. Oh, Megatron :(

Oh no. Oh no. OHNOOHNOOHNO!

Not gonna lie. This is the my favourite panel in the whole bloody arc. Yeah, it’s even better than MEGA RUNG PUNCHING THE MOON. Ratchet is so happy and relieved to see Rung alive and whole. He cares about him so much! Ratchet unabashedly showing affection! Look at his face!

Also, someone finally hugged Rung! It took five years but someone finally hugged that sweet boy!

Look how befuddled Rung looks! “Oh goodness! Physical affection! What do I do?!”

Oh! YAY! There’s a chance Lug will come back… But will it really be her? Her brain, and all her memories, are in her old body. She’ll basically be a blank slate.

=”You were phenomenal.”

Damn right. Bless you , Brainstorm.

=I will never tire of Megatron’s speeches. Roberts does a wonderful job with them..

=Oh. Hi, Glitch. You’re an outlier so I’m amazed you alive.

=Peace through empathy.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

=Kay. Enough screaming time. Time for some serious talk. I’ve seen so many differing opinions on Megatron’s departure from the series. Some are happy. Some are upset. Others are saying, after everything he’s done, he doesn’t deserve a second chance.

As for me… It’s not my place to say wether a fictional character deserves redemtpion , especially in a fiction as complex as IDW. All I’ll say is if Starscream can rule Cybertron then anything is posible.

I’m actually pleased Megatron was written out in a way that allows him to return. As much as I’ve enjoyed MTMTE/LL Megatron(bumpy plots and all) I’m happy he’s being put aside. He DOMINATED season two in a way not other character did. Now that he’s gone, it allows focus to shift back to the original LL crew and, maybe, even the quest.

=NEXT ISSUE PLEASE

[vgjustice]

VG Saw A Movie: Beauty and the Beast (2017)

Twas beauty that slew this beast.

Well, here we are. It’s out and as of currently is sporting a metacritic score of 65. Lukewarm. Which seems about right to me. This one was painful in how it missed opportunities or made strange choices, and in far too many scenes just made head-scratching mistakes. So let’s peel this one back a bit at a time.

I feel that I need to point out up front that the movie is a musical. It’s not really billed as a musical, but it is. Even more-so than the animated movie it’s ostensibly adapting, adding new songs to the already impressive list created by the original. Nothing wrong with this, on paper. If the cast could sing. This is why you hire singers to sing and actors to act. The two are very often not interchangeable. And that does sadly show through here. Nothing as bad as Russell Crowe in the Les Mis, but certainly not up to the standards the movie is trying to reach for. It’s not a good sign when the standout musical number is one of the brand new pieces (Evermore performed by Dan Stevens as the Beast) and not the eternal classic title song.

The direction in the movie is odd as well. Early in the movie we have a near frame-perfect recreation of the opening to the animated movie, with Belle singing about the village while the villagers go about their daily lives. And then later on the story differs radically causing a massive change in motivation for the characters. This left the movie feeling dysfunctional and without identity, swinging wildly from the tone of the animated to something more akin to a Broadway stage production, and then off to do it’s own unique thing. And that’s where it really becomes painful to watch as the original portions of the movie are largely the best. It made me pine for the style of the Cinderella remake that worked so well. There are flashes of that in this movie, stuffed between some kind of Frankenstein’s horror of disjointed ideas. The story ends up more frustrating than anything else.

One very specific change early in the movie had me crying foul almost immediately. As the story goes, the prince, lost in his decadence, refused an old beggar woman seeking shelter from a storm. She offers a rose as payment and he still denies her. She reveals herself to be an enchantress and curses the evil prince to be as much a beast on the outside as he is on the inside. But in this remake, she actually barges into his home, throwing the doors wide and then demanding sanctuary. Seeing that, I felt that the prince was in the right to throw this awful intruder out. I would have done the same. It changes the tone of the movie dramatically and not for the better.

But much later on a far more subtle change vastly improved the movie. When the Beast finally introduces Belle to his library, she is rarely seen afterwards without a book or four in hand. This honestly bothered me that she didn’t do this in the animated movie, after expressing such love for books. And here’s ten thousand books. Which she never reads. No, this movie changes this and is much better for it.

Sadly, not all the characters make out so well. Emma Watson’s Belle is somewhat bland and uninteresting. She doesn’t do anything wrong that I can see, but she also doesn’t do anything outstanding. For a main character to be so plain was not a good choice here. Luke Evans as Gaston fares far worse, being too subdued to fill out the role. He just seems evil for the sake of being evil rather than the narcissist the character should be. Josh Gad as LeFou was entertaining enough to watch and it seemed like he was having fun with the role, but he was chewing the scenery so much that it ultimately detracted. Dan Stevens as Beast was good, but still not enough. The animation didn’t truly make him beastly, leaving him too small to be convincing. His voice was spot on, however. Good sound mixing to add that deep, rumbling base.

The set design was for the most part fine. Costumes were also mostly fine, with the exception that most people have already mentioned: Belle’s ballroom gown. Having done some research on the subject, I discovered that Emma Watson and costume designer Jacqueline Durran brainstormed to create a modern feminist approach to the iconic dress. In doing so, they took a dress with the singular purpose of “Be Beautiful” and made sure that it would not be restrictive for running, and could be worn horseback (not side-saddle, mind), and that it would fit a hundred other criteria. So it’s no wonder the dress that was produced could be worn in any climate and was ultimately bland to look at. They took a simple concept and engineered it into uselessness. Very unfortunate, and I hope both of these individuals learn from this mistake.

As I said earlier, the movie ultimately feels like it’s missing it’s own purpose. Sometimes it’s trying to be the animated classic, and succeeds, but to what end? The animated movie is still available for purchase while this one is in theaters. Sometimes it feels more like the Broadway play, but doesn’t take the music from that and instead supplants it’s own. And occasionally it does it’s own thing, where it either shines like a beacon of hope or falls flat on it’s face. The whole production is trying so hard to be a thousand things that the entire movie ends up like Belle’s dress. A hundred useful things stitched into one thing that has no use.

I cannot and will not call this movie bad, because it isn’t. Everything in the movie is passable. A lukewarm, passable mess that only offends by pretending to be something much better. Give this one a miss and pick up the animated one instead. Or go watch the play if you can. Either would be time and money better spent.

[curlybosschick]

Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro' the house, A passionate woman sat typing and clicking her mouse, The brainstorming of business ideas bounced in the air, With hopes that an actual business plan would soon be there, The wishes and desires for her dream life were said, While visions of financial freedom, danced in her head. One exhausted Mama with her head in her lap, Fighting insomnia wishing for a long winter’s nap, When out of the blue there arose such a clatter, The overwhelming fear to start a business was the matter! The fear of stepping out of her comfort zone flew in like a flash, The drowning in debt, with no savings of cash, The feelings of stress and anxiety came in like a flow For she knew after the fear comes self-sabotage in tow. When what to her wandering mind should appear, But a glimmer of hope to dream, now without fear, She must’ve forgot who the hell she was real quick, For she knew in that moment, She is enough, and this business idea must stick! More rapid her soul spoke and the business enthusiasm once again came, Now to build a brand she loved and find the perfect business name. Now was the time to build the business of her dreams! She didn’t want to be tied down to a boss or one income stream! She wanted fulfillment, flexibility, she wanted it all! To the top of sales goals! No dream is too small! She needed to quickly create her happy profitable business, Because nothing emptied her pockets more than this Christmas! So up to the drawing board, pondering the next thing to do, With so many industries, she needed just one not two, And then in a twinkling, she heard there was proof, That the riches are in the niches, that’s where sales hit the roof! As she drew in her head, and tossed ideas around, She thought to herself, niching down had a good sound, She already envisioned herself in faux fur from head to foot, So finding her niche is where her focus would be put. Now to find just one client, because you can’t sell to everyone, You end up nothing to no one and no sales equals no fun, She needed a whole tribe, people she would love to serve, ... to be continued (at Farmington Hills, Michigan) https://www.instagram.com/p/Br_twtclUXF/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1q5ozhlv7tc24