#tw:emotional abuse

[1800-page-not-found]

“Love” - Diluc x Fem Reader Angst

Sorry for not posting for a while, life’s just been a bit hard these days. I suppose I’m putting my feelings into this oneshot as I’m writing. Hope you enjoy.

TW:emotional abuse, toxic relationship, suicide (hanging, drowning)

summary: did you really think a man like diluc would truly love you? You were a fool to think so.

When his father died, you were on his side. Making sure he always had a shoulder to cry on. You tried to mend the two brothers together. But i suppose this is all an arranged marriage can do. It was a foolish decision to ask if you could marry the heir of the Ragnvindr clan because you loved him. You were so…blinded by love. A one sided love story.

Here you were, crying. Alone in your bedroom, which you shared with Diluc. Yet he was nowhere to be found. Why? You were always there for him in is dark times. You did everything for your husband. So why couldn’t he do the same? You thought the two of you were on at least good terms…why?

Ah…perhaps you were now useless to him. You did after all get in a fight with your parents. All those years of pent up emotions…they all flowed out. Last night was so vivid.

-your pov-last night

“I DID EVERYTHING YOU ASKED ME TO DO. I MARRIED A GOOD MAN FOR YOU. I ACED ALL MY EXAMS. EVERYTHING. WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME?” I yelled at my father.

“ME? I GAVE YOU ALL THESE OPPORTUNITIES. YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT.” Why?..I never asked for this. I just-I just wanted to make you happy…

“THATS RIGHT. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY BACK BECAUSE IM RIGHT. I KNOW WHATS BEST FOR YOU [NAME].” My mother walks in. “Dear, let me talk to our daughter alright?” She said it in such a soft tone. Ah. But then father left the room. Mother glared at me.

“Archons, you cant ever do anything fucking right for once! Where did I go wrong huh? Is it my fault that you became like this? What did this mother do to have a failure as a daughter?” I remained silent. How could you? “You know what-I don’t care anymore! You are just like your father. I can’t deal with your shit anymore. I don’t care! I’ll disown you if I have to.” Ah. I see. You must hate me lots, right mother? Alright then. I’m tired. I’m tired of everything. You win.

-3rd pov-present time

you looked at the noose that laid in your room. Peace is so close…you walked slowly to your death. A step on the stool. You slowly rested your face onto it. It feels like…home.

the bedroom fire slammed open. “I’m home.” Diluc sighed, taking off his coat. He still didn’t notice what you were doing. And so you continued. Then you kicked the stool, letting it tighten around your neck like a scarf. “What the-“ diluc turned his head to the noise. His eyes widened as you were slowly dying. Why did you look so happy? He rushed to cut the noose. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW SELFISH THAT IS?”

…selfish? Right. That’s what you were. So fucking selfish. You looked at diluc, lifelessly. A red mark appeared onto your neck. Diluc sighed. He had no time for such nonsense. Ever since his father died, it was no longer the same. He became unable to love. You were merely a business transaction to gain power. “I do not have time for this [name]. If you’re going to act dramatic, do it in a different way. Just don’t taint the Ragnvindr name.” Right. It was always about the outside. But you were at your final straw.

“I’m tired diluc.”

“So? I’m also tired. Do you see me acting dramatically like you? What do you even commit to in this household? Stop acting like a child.”

“I don’t care anymore. I hate tou. I hate everyone and everything. I was a fool to love tou. You are unloveable diluc. No one will love you like I used to.”

he sighed. What kind of fucking nonsense were you spewing? “Whatever. Just do your part. Contribute to the family.”

right. Diluc Ragnvindr has no empathy for anyone. You walked past diluc, out to the door. “What the fuck are you doing?” He grabbed your hair and pulled back. You looked at him with tired eyes. “I don’t know. Alright? I’m nothing without you. Are you happy now? No-you know what? I want a divorce.” You walked away.

it wasn’t very far, but the pond (or river?) was so clear… you took a step in. The water was cold. But it felt soothing. Relaxed. Soon, the water was up to your shoulders, drowning your nightgown. Then you submerged your head.

deep and deeper you go. Down to the bottom of the pond. Death feels…nice.

-one week later-

[name’s] body was found dead, floating in the pond near the Dawn Winery. Diluc was…distraught. They only ever care when you’re gone. He could no longer focus on his work anymore. Your family…they didn’t care. You just became a liability. You no longer were an asset.

the traveler was traumatized. After all, they were the one to find your dead body. Hey! That’s alright! The traveler can do anything!

well, that’s what the people of mondstadt but look how you turned out. Aether was also loosing his “will”

-finished-

this was boring, the writing sucks too. My eyes are going to be puffy when I wake up…I hate crying.

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

all that i am (and all we'll ever be)

all that i am (and all we'll ever be) https://ift.tt/0I1jRdw by deancasandthemoose “Sam begins working today as a public defender,” Cas says casually, and Dean tries to listen. “He’ll be with me for a majority of the day, though. Samandriel and I have agreed to keep him occupied.” Right, Dean thinks. Occupied, and distracted from the courtroom a few doors down, where Mary Winchester is on trial. Words: 1450, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Series: Part 5 of i want to let go Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Gabriel (Supernatural), John Winchester, Mary Winchester Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, John Winchester/Mary Winchester Additional Tags: Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester, Dom Castiel (Supernatural), Sub Dean Winchester, BDSM, Alternate Universe - BDSM, Submission, Biological BDSM, Lawyer Castiel (Supernatural), Nurse Dean Winchester, tw:emotional!sexual!physical!abuse, (but not between deancas), Trials, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Selectively Mute Dean Winchester, Mute Dean Winchester, Sign Language, Abusive John Winchester, Daddy Kink, Daddy Issues via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/vP3KQzh February 09, 2023 at 02:35AM

[bangtanfancamp]

of Dusk and Summer

✨ Teaser 2✨

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

∴one shot

∴masterlist

∴playlist/soundtrack

∴pairing: Park Jimin x artist reader

∴teaser length: 1.2k

∴word count: approx 30k +

∴rating: mature

∴genre: coming of age, high school au, bf2l (best friends to lovers), romance, angst, fluff

∴warnings: mentions of abusive behavior and dysfunctional family dynamics, loss, light smut- sort of? (Intense makeout- still SFW)

∴summary: Graduation and academic excellence is all Jimin has had his eyes fixed on for as long as he can remember. Today, it finally happens. Today, he finally walks the stage and graduates. Today, his goals finally become reality. Or at least, that’s what he thought-until the best friend he thought he knew inside and out shows up in his window while he’s getting ready, and his life is never quite the same.

Alt: Park Jimin and his best friend have one incredible night that changes what they are to each other forever.

𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚛 𝟷 ∴ 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚛 𝟸

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

Ten minutes later, and against his better judgment, Jimin is lowering himself down the godforsaken trellis behind you and into his front yard with a backpack slung over his shoulder. His perfectly pressed and creased dress clothes have been replaced with his favorite blue jeans and a white t-shirt with a too wide collar that he snatched from his closet in haste. He grumbles as his timberland boots catch on the lattice and send a chunky piece of wood careening off the edge of the trellis. Another thing to add to today’s list of sins, he supposes. His mother really is going to throttle him when she gets her hands on him. He can’t help but sigh at the thought. At least if he dies, he dies in his favorite outfit.

As he slides into the passenger seat, he wonders if he should text her. He heard the commotion of his parents leaving ages ago, his mother adamant about finding good parking as she stuffed her precious yapping Pekingese in her too big purse and slammed the back door shut. The idea of them sitting there waiting for a son who never shows up makes his heart feel a little sick. So he sends something non-committal to his father, the calmer of the two- an emergency came up with a friend. I’m safe but i can’t make graduation. I’m sorry- mutes it, and shoves it in his pocket.

As you turn the engine over and begin to pull away, Jimin looks back over his shoulder and catches a glimpse of his cat’s warm terra cotta fur sitting in his windowsill. If it’s even possible, her sweet face looks confused to watch him go. Like she knows something is wrong about today. Jimin knows he’s projecting, but still, he swears he can almost hear her solemn meow as you turn the corner and he loses sight of both her and the way this day was supposed to go.

─────────────────────

An hour in, neither of you has said a word.

Not really. It feels strange. At some point, you’d begun playing a soft acoustic playlist in the background just to fill the air with something other than this sterile silence. Yet it remained suffocatingly still between you otherwise. Neither of you were even humming along or tapping your fingers- nothing.

The engine’s steady rumble and shaky, finger picked guitar strings remain the only sounds in the cabin as Jimin’s gaze stays pointedly focused out the passenger window. His fingertips make an absent minded profession of picking at the unraveling threads of his ripped jeans, and you try to pretend this doesnt hurt. The silence between you feels weighty, heavy- wrong. Full of all the questions he won’t ask and the answers you won’t offer.

You wish it wasn’t like this.

You wish you hadn’t had to come find him today. That things were different. That everything was different. You’re grateful that he’s here- truly, you are. It’s just that you wish you had been strong enough to do it alone. That you could’ve been braver.

That you weren’t such a coward.

That’s the one that stings the most. No matter how hard you try to push your troubled thoughts away, that’s the one that always ricochets back the fastest. You hate it. You should’ve figured out how to face this alone- but you’d been scared, and it made you selfish. You can’t help but feel guilty about the rite of passage you’d stolen from him today. You hope one day he’ll understand.

You hope one day he can forgive you.

─────────────────────

An hour and a half later, you find yourself on a patch of winding, interconnecting backroads so old they’re still just gravel. Tree boughs sweep low overhead in this forgotten area so far outside the city. You and Jimin had picked up some fast food at the last place you’d seen for miles not too long ago, but your bag remains folded over on the bench seat between you. You’ll eat when you get there, you think. And if your memory serves you right, it shouldn’t be too long now.

Jimin, to his credit, still hasn’t asked where you’re going as he munches unenthusiastically on his cardboard French fry. You miss the melodic sound of his voice. Especially now. It would’ve been a nice companion these last few hours. But you understand. You know him. Honestly, at this point, you’ve realized his silence is actually a gift. Jimin holds his tongue for no one, so the fact that he’s stayed beside you with little to no resistance this entire drive says a lot about how seriously he’s taking this, how important to him you are, and you’re grateful.

You know he’s upset and confused right now, and Jimin doesn’t handle feeling lost very well. It’s why he always pushed so hard in school all these years. He never could stand not knowing the why behind things. And he never handled irrationality well. So you’re sure spontaneously dragging him out of his bedroom on the biggest day of his high school career has set off more than a few alarm bells for him- yet he remains silent for your sake.

Jimin was usually a force to reckoned with in his own domain- every teacher at school knew it too. They all dreaded his inevitable irreverence and pushback when they required anything of him that he might deem unreasonable or poorly thought out. They knew good and well what a spitfire he was. He was passionate and loud about needing to understand, to be ahead of the game. It’s why he was such a brilliant student.

It’s why he should’ve been valedictorian.

That nauseous twinge is back in your gut, but you push it down as you turn down a particularly neglected road and something else swirls in your chest. Ivy and brambled blackberry plants have twined themselves around the rusted iron gate at the end of the lane in front you. The trees dip low and wild as you hop wordlessly out of the truck to undo the padlock chaining the ancient gate to the sunken wooden fence line.

The air here is so much lighter, so much cleaner than in the city, and a wave of nostalgia grips you so tightly you fear you may collapse. Eyes fluttering shutas your shoulders dip, you let the old memories overtake you as you still in the high grass by the gate.

You can’t remember the last time you were here, and the thought makes tears that you refuse to shed prick the corners of your eyes. Things should never have gotten this bad, you think- but here you are. Breathing deeply, you turn the numbers on the lock through sheer muscle memory and trudge bare legged through the high summer hay to push the gate wide open, your graduation robes abandoned hours ago.

Hopping back into the truck, you direct it through the gate like slipping through a portal into another world- a gentler world. A sweeter time in a simple place that was always kind to you, even when the rest of the world was harsh. You hope it will be gracious enough to accept you again now as you slip out yonce again to push the gate shut before driving you and Jimin a mile deep out into the center of the beautiful, wild, undisturbed hay field.

Shifting into park, you take a deep, trembling breath and turn off the engine.

“We’re here.” You whisper in the stillness.

─────────────────────

✨full fic coming soon! ✨

Are you guys getting curious yet? 👀 I certainly hope so . Also! Thank you to @itshardcandy for your sweet comment on the first teaser!!!! it was so encouraging to see. Thank you for sharing a little kindness ☺️💕💖✨

[starker-asks]

Hey 🥺 we all cope differently, okay? Some people wanna murder their abusers in disturbing and gorey ways. Some people like me wanna get fucked by them over and over until I forget they ever hurt me. No need to be ashamed

We all need to go back to therapy when this social distancing thing is over.

[billard-mom-and-journalist]

”Wha-” Her mom interjected but was immediately interrupted.

”You heard me, 𝘮𝘰𝘮. You've been nothing but terrible and overall a bitch to me. I Don't understand why you couldn't just be 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 for me when I got into billiards. Maybe because I wasn't living how you WANTED to live or something, but I'm SICK of it. You put me through Year's of Emotional abuse and cover it with the words ’Love’ and ’Caring’ when it's the opposite. You are Harsh on me, in fact, you are the devil himself. You want to know what I WANT, HUH? I want you to get the fuck out of my room and go back to your shitty Apartment and 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢 𝘉𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩.“Setsuka Was pent up with rage, meaning every word.

[tiredraven04]

Question for all of you.

What're your thoughts on using the term "emotional abuse" to describe Aziraphale's relationship with his fellow angels? I've seen it around quite a lot and as someone who has been through that. I just find it really interesting. (Let it be known that I agree though)

[just-your-local-history-nerd]

Toxic friendships are real and harmful. Sometimes those being manipulated/emotionally abused by a friend don't realise. When you see this situation happening to someone you care about it can be hard to deal with. In my experience they don't believe me and just think I'm jealous so the only thing I can think to do is be there for them when I can and wait until the Shit finally hits the fan. This needs awareness man

[hprinsley]

( 𝕆𝕔𝕥. 𝟙𝟞, 𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟡 ) 𝘏𝘶𝘨𝘰 𝘗𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵

ᴛᴡ: ʙᴜʟʟʏɪɴɢ, ꜱᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ᴀʙᴜꜱᴇ

[cassandrarobbins]

I Forgive You II Mirror Lake Prompt Self-Para

Rachel Clark looked so scary. Cassandra had talked to the priestess briefly a couple of times, but every time her father had something planned for her to say to the woman. She knew what to say to get the reaction her father wanted. She was already in trouble with her father, and he seemed convinced that Cassandra was doing it on purpose. There was no getting out of trouble with him, and now she had to face the Priestess.

After the coven meeting, Cassandra tried to look brave as her father dragged her towards the Priestess who had been patiently talking to everyone. Now the room was empty, and all that was left was the priestess, her family, and the Robbins. Charles greeted the priestess reverently, “Good afternoon High Priestess. The meeting was incredible. Well structured. You really are the perfect person for this position. I hate to bother, but…” He pulled Cassandra’s hand, which she knew meant to stop trying to hide and get in front of him- which she did. “My little girl is starting to create problems at home.”

“Mr. Robbins this really sounds like a discipline problem. Not really something I…” The dark haired woman started without even looking at Cassandra.

“No. It’s not… not that. She’s… well… she’s… tell her Cassandra.” Charles glared down at Cassandra letting her know that she either she confessed or she was going to face him later.

Cassandra’s chest clamped up as anxiety began to pour into her throat. Her cheeks burned as she realized the whole room was staring at her. She just wanted to go home and hide away in her books. She hated knowing that the whole room was judging her. “I… I… I…” Once again her stammer froze her words up in her throat as she began to panic. She tried a couple more times to speak, but no sounds would come out.

“Come on sweetheart. Just tell the High Priestess. Then she can help us.” The soft voice of her mother usually was so comforting, but all it managed to do was to remind Cassandra that she was the problem child.

“I… I… I…” She once again struggled before she felt her father beginning to squeeze her shoulders painfully. “I… I…” Tears began to gather in her eyes before she blurted out, “I can feel what other’s are feeling.”

The tall woman watched Cassandra for a moment before bending down and taking her hands. “Look at me. Focus on me.” The woman’s eyes seemed to become electric. “Speak.” There was something to how Rachel said the word that felt… different. Cassandra suddenly felt her tongue loosen from the panic. “What do you mean you can feel other’s feelings?”

Cassandra’s hands shook a little as she admitted, “You’re curious. He’s angry.” Cassandra looked up at her father, “Mommy is worried and scared. Sterling is bored. Mr. Clark…”

“I see. Well…” Rachel stood up and began to speak to Charles, “It seems your daughter is going to be an empath. There are spells to protect you from her sensing, but I would not recommend it. This is a good sign, Mr. Robbins. I can see something very powerful in her if you foster it. I’d like her to start classes with my Cameron and other children in New Moon.”

“Oh… okay. Well, that’s great. That’s awesome. We’ve got a powerful little witch on our hands.” He laughed and patted Cassandra’s shoulders.

Cassandra felt her chest warm as her father smiled and thanked the nice tall lady who made the weight on her chest go away. That was the first time her father ever seemed happy about something she had done magically. She wanted to hug the nice lady, but she didn’t want to cross any boundaries.

“Thank you, Mrs. Priestess!” Cassandra waved as her father began to leave the room that meant she and Sterling had to follow.

Red dirt gathered on fake black leather as Cassandra kicked at the small rocks on the driveway.  “Daddy, aren’t you proud of me? The High Priestess said she saw something powerful when she looked at me! Isn’t that great?” Excitedly, Cassandra followed at the heels of her father down the dirt road towards their trailer.

Like the winds of a summer storm, suddenly her father turned to her. His face had become quite red. “No. No, Cassandra Anastasia Robbins. No I’m not. You embarrassed me today!”

“Charles, we’re in public. Can this wait?” Virginia hung over Charles shoulder like an unwanted conscience.  

Cassandra froze as she looked up at her father in shock. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I’m sorry.” Her long braids banged against her chest as she bowed her head.

Her father turned away from her before stomping his way to the rickety trailer that was now coming into view. The white skirt of the trailer had green moss crawling up the side, and over the roof was a tarp to protect from the rain.

Cassandra considered running towards the forest where her little tree house was coming together. Maybe a couple of hours to calm down from whatever she did wrong would help her father. She didn’t mean to make him angry.

As she turned towards the forest, Sterling’s dark hair fell between he and Cassandra as he looked down at his Gameboy.  She couldn’t leave him alone with her father.

She took a deep breath and climbed the wooden stairs that creaked under her weight.

“Get in here Cassandra!”

Shakily, Cassandra walked through the already open doorway towards her room where she knew her father would be. “I’m sorry, daddy. I don’t… know… what…”

Her father stood in her room with his arms crossed and his face red. “Do you know how embarrassed I was?! You stammered in front of the Priestess, and then you make me look bad for worrying about this family’s safety.”

“I didn’t think that she…” Cassandra started as she laid her right hand on her elbow. Her left forefinger and thumb rubbed together as she began to panic again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” She began to back up, but then her back came in contact with the wall.

“Yes you did! You always try to make me look bad!” His voice rose as he began to pace in the tiny room. “You always try to embarrass me! I try to help foster Sterling’s confidence. I’m trying to help your little brother. Do you care about him? Do you care at all about him?”

Tears began to gather in Cassandra’s eyes, “Yes! Of course I do!”

“Well then why are you doing this?! Why are you trying to get all of the attention?!”

Cassandra’s lip began to tremble as she became confused by his logic and arguments. “I wasn’t… trying anything. I just… it’s just what I do. Maybe I’m just more powerful than Sterling is right now.” Cassandra waved towards Sterling’s room that was next to her room. “But I’m older than him. I’m not trying to…”

“God damn it Cassandra you’re not listening! You’re not listening to me! Fucking…” A noise came from her father that she couldn’t ever describe before suddenly he launched himself at Cassandra and began to swing his large hands at her body.

But as he did, Cassandra felt something inside of her break. Her panic pushed her over the edge, and she felt something in her grasp at one of the Encyclopedias her grandfather gave her.

Suddenly, the encyclopedia flew from the bookshelf and smacked into the back of her father’s head, which caused him to stumble backwards in shock. He looked down at the book as he reached up at his head before he looked back at her. “You used your magic against me!”

Then she felt something warm and strong collide against her face. Stunned, Cassandra wrapped her hands around her head and waited out as her father hit her. Again and again. Then again.

Cassandra didn’t know what happened, but in her head she felt like she was floating away. She grasped the hand of Kathryn Janeway, and she began to think about the world of Star Trek. So far away from wherever her body was.

“Charles…”

Cassandra snapped back into reality and turned to the doorway where the voice came from and found her mother with tears in her eyes. “Charles! I think she’s learned her lesson! Come here!”

Her father froze for a second before he looked at his hands and then back at her. “I’m so sorry, Cassandra. I didn’t mean to. It’s just you don’t listen. If you just did what I asked you…”

Her cheek throbbed as tears gathered in her eyes. “I’m sorry, daddy. I won’t… I won’t… I won’t show off what I can do again. I’m sorry. Please I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I forgive you.”

[kindnotestoself]

Hello. A few years ago back in boarding school, I used to get bullied and emotionally abused by the people around me who I thought were my friends, and because of that everything about myself was torn apart and put back together wrongly. I had depression and severe anxiety. So I left. Three years later and after some self-care, self-love and new relationships, I'm doing much better. But sometimes I still feel the anxiety creeping up behind me. I'm afraid it'll come back. I don't know what to do

hi ~

[criimzn]

💬 FROM ⤀ ❤️❤️ *FLASHBACK

MICHAEL: i threw the cupcakes you baked for me in the trash. i have a girlfriend, crimson. get that through your fucking head.

MICHAEL: you're fucking pathetic. no one at this school likes you. they just know you as my psycho ex girlfriend.

MICHAEL: what? you thought i was going to marry you? someone like you? you're a slut. you're not hot enough and i guarantee you that i'll be the only guy dumb enough to have dated you.

MICHAEL: the only good thing i got out of you was your body and the sex tape. which, by the way, many dudes are interested in buying.

CRIMSON: michael, i'm sorry

MICHAEL: shut the fuck up and listen to me. it's not my fault no other guy wants to fuck you, okay? maybe if you weren't such a fucking weirdo u wouldn't have this problem.

MICHAEL: i remember you telling me all this shit about how your mom had a hard time having another kid or some bs. and that you can't have kids but guess what crimson. i didn't give a shit then and i don't give a fuck now.

MICHAEL: you not being able to be a mother is actually a great thing. it prevents u from procreating little sluts like you.

MICHAEL: any guy that fucks u without a condom shouldn't worry cause it's not like you'll get pregnant. that's all you'll ever be, crimson. a barren bitch. a stupid little hoe on the side for when a dude gets bored.

MICHAEL: listen. leave me and sabina the fuck alone or else i'll ruin your life and release your sex tape to execs at harvard.

[uminosclassroom]

A lot of Iruka’s self-doubt and when he speaks to and about himself negatively is phrased the way Mizuki spoke to him growing up. 

[cylindersaint]

LONG IDENTITY CRISIS WITH HISTORY

LOOOOOONG Rant Ahead! Existential Crisis! TRIGGER WARNINGS: Sexual Assault, Emotional Abuse, Abusive Relationship, Smoking/Nicotine

So I have been posting a LOT of Asexuality stuff here lately, and I’m just gonna rant about my identity crisis for a sec. I’ve known I was Ace since I was 18 or 19, so it’s not new, but I used to be sex favorable. I could enjoy sex and liked to please my significant other, so there was no harm no foul.

but then I got into a very serious relationship with someone much older than me who was hyper sexual. I could not understand what the hell being hyper sexual meant, and I STILL can’t wrap my head around it, but it was really really BAD NEWS for me. Me being me, I had thought, “Well I promised I was in this for the long haul, so I’ll just do my best to give them what they want.” While wondering WHY I couldn’t make sex a priority, WHY I couldn’t instigate, WHY I always seemed to make them so ANGRY.

And it wasn’t just the sex thing, either, it was everything. They tried to change everything about me that isn’t actually changeable. My ADHD and my connections to my friends and family being key problems.

And I was so wrapped up in his view of myself, that I didn’t see how fucked up it all was. I wanted him to like me again. I wanted to like myself again. And my identity was cannibalized as I starved for love.

AND I WAS TOO INVOLVED TO SEE HOW WRONG IT ALL WAS.

I was terrified ALL THE TIME.

And then one night, I’m not even sure what was different about it, I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. They slam the door as they come out of the house and I am already scared. They flick the cigarette out of my hand and haul me up and push me around and its violent and I’m too small to do anything about it so I go along with it.

I fucking go along with it and pretend I enjoyed it, even fucking comfort him a little. Because I don’t want to handle his guilt when I just want to be unconscious.

Next day I tell him to NEVER EVER do that shit to me again. And we never talk about it.

And after that I was afraid when he would touch me, anytime.

I don’t remember the time line well, if my aunt’s funeral was before or after this point; so about two or 3 months after that I visit my mom and feel like MYSELF again. I’m laughing and I’m not afraid to joke around and talk loudly (or talk at all) and I decide then and there that that’s the last straw and I’m ending it THEN AND THERE where I am safe and with people who love me.

and THAT was three months ago! Got out of an almost 4 year long relationship where my identity just fucking disappeared, and I’m holding onto the most stable parts of my identity like a lifeline.

And even after being raped I thought I would still be ok with sex, mainly because I have experienced other sexual assaults and have had a shit ton of AMAZING therapy to help me deal with the trauma and the idea of sex as a weapon, but now sex is just meaningless to me, its this mechanical thing people do that I’m more alienated from now more than ever.

It is probably too soon for me to be deciding if I’ll ever be able to have sex in a relationship again, but I have always been and always will be asexual.

[billard-mom-and-journalist]

Alright, I managed to convince him not to bring anything. You can talk to him now, Setsuka.

”Phew ok. I don't think I would be able to handle another present.”

Setsuka waited for Nikkei patiently in her room, hearing a few footsteps, yelling, a ”Do it you coward” could be heard from the hallway then more footsteps.

” may I come in?” Nikkei asked from the other side of her door.

”Definitely”

Nikkei was hesitant but nonetheless opened the door.

”...” a silence came over the atmosphere

”..”

”Setsukaimsosorryifimadeyouunconfortable-” Nikkei Suddenly blurts out.

”Hey, chill, it's fine Nikkei, You have a M!A, though it is quite Startling to be called pretty and given Flowers....” She trailed off.

” It's actually pretty flattering you think of me in that light..” She spoke Softly as if she didn't wanna scare him away.

”...It is?” Genuinely Surprised that she didn't find it disgusting.

”I've been told that I'm a ”decent looking” girl by many people mainly just my mom and father....ɯoɯ ʎɯ uǝʌǝ ʇou sǝɯı̣ʇǝɯos... So to have you say I'm pretty and give me presentsreally makes me feel special and cared for. But I would prefer you safe and sound, so maybe just tone it down a bit?

” I don't know what the M!A they gave you does, but I'm very glad we have a connection like this, for you to think I'm deserving of gifts. In fact, this grew my Cr-”

”..”

”-SpecialBond!” she yelled out, ”Yeah my very special bond that I have with you..”

”Well, I'm glad that you don't think I'm weird, I'm glad we had this talk...” He replied

”..”

”..”

”Setsuka?”

”Yes..?”

”Im glad for our bond too” He said, then walked out the door, feeling better.

[just-a-few-prompts]

This is an extended whump prompt with tw: emotional manipulation, negative lack of self-esteem thoughts, physical abuse mention, and kidnapping. Stay safe, loves~<3

A - Whumpee // B - Whumper // C - Caretaker

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A shivered as they walked through the hallway. They rubbed their arms - it felt so much colder than it should have been. Than it usually was.

As they made their way to the garden - C’s garden - they sniffed, wiping a tear from their eye. They sat down on the bench of the garden, struggling to keep their breath steady as they looked at the flowers.

They did it. They’d done so good, not crying in front of C. C would have hated it anyway - they must hate everything that A put them through. They heard what C said when they snapped. They heard how exhausted C was, how frustrated they were. How there was so, so much wrong with A that they just didn’t know how to help.

That they were sick of it.

Choking, A shut their eyes, finally letting the tears flow freely over their cheeks. They clamped a hand over their mouth to silence themselves, letting their body shake to hold in the wracking sobs. They finally let themselves feel. It was okay. C wouldn’t see. C wouldn’t be bothered. They were alone. They... they were alone. They deserved to be. They were so difficult, they-

“Ohhh.” A familiar voice made A flinch, and their eyes flew open to see someone standing in front of them. “Well... Now, I would never do something like that.”

A whimpered, their hands going to their arms. They tried to lean away, but their chin was caught in a gentle grasp. They could do nothing as their gaze was turned upwards, and they saw B’s eyes staring back at them.

B turned A’s head side to side, inspecting their face. “You’ve healed up quite nicely, little thing,” they cooed. Their eyes were half-lidded as they stared down at A, somehow utterly pleased at the new blank slate of their skin.

How did they get there? How did they find them? A’s head raced for an attempt to ask, but they didn’t get one. B’s thumb trailed over their cheek, smearing a stray tear into their face.

“But at least I never hurt you like that,” B repeated softly, their voice gentle, sad. Pitying. “I always told you the truth, right off the bat. I never lied, and said I cared...” They let out a single laugh as they tilted their chin up, enjoying the way A trembled to contain their tears.

“I never pretended to care, just to break your heart. I only hurt you physically. You always knew what to expect from me.”

They couldn’t take it anymore. To B’s delight, A broke down again, leaning into the hand cradling their face. Their own hands came to hold onto B’s, desperately clinging on their sleeve, desperately trying to bring them closer.

The sight had B grinning toothily as they pulled A to their feet, shushing them softly as they ran their hand over A’s hair. They pulled them close - A let them.

Perfect.

“I.... I’m sorry for going away,” A whimpered, shutting their eyes and burying their face into B’s chest. “Y-You were right - I... I’m no good to anybody....”

“Shhh,” B whispered into their hair, hugging them tightly. “You’re good to me.”

“I...” A’s breath hitched in their throat as they clung to B’s clothes. “I get everything wrong-“

“That’ll be fixed with a little more training,” B assured them. “Just a little bit more.... you’re so good at training, my little thing. Aren’t you?”

A nodded, their tears beginning to subside as they fell slack. They were coming back, settling into the familiar mindset. “Y... yes,” they mumbled. “Yes.”

B chuckled, kissing their hair. “Such a sweet little thing,” they praised.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect. All that waiting for C to mess up was paid off in an instant.

“Can...” A swallowed thickly, peeking up at B. “Can we go home now? Please?”

With a happy sigh and a pat on the back, B nodded. “Of course we can, little thing,” they cooed as lights began to swirl around them.

~~~~~~~

C tapped their fist to their head, knocking again on A’s bedroom door. Stupid, so stupid - they hadn’t meant anything they said. Why the hell did they say it? Why did they snap at A, of all people? They didn’t deserve that. C didn’t mean any of it.

Unable to hold their guilt in any longer, they finally tried to open the door. They froze when they realized it was unlocked, and the room inside was dark.

“... A?” they whispered as they stepped in, turning on the light. Nothing - nobody at the desk, nobody in the bed. C even checked under the bed and in the closet - no one there.

“A?” C began walking around the house, looking in every room and under the furniture, in the spare rooms everywhere. A had excused themselves while C fumed, sitting in a chair. Stupid, why didn’t I keep an eye on them, stupid-

They suddenly stopped, looking to the window. The garden. A loved the garden. That’s probably where they went.

Desperate to apologize, C hurried out the back door, pulling their coat on.

“A?” they called out. “A!”

They stopped when they saw the lights. They were trailing around the ground, flowing to... somewhere. The center of the garden. C furrowed their eyebrows at the lights skimming across the grass. Those lights looked familiar, why did they-

Their eyes flew wide as they dashed around the corner. All the air left their lungs as they saw A and B. B, holding them close. A, begging to go home. B, saying ‘yes.’

“No!” C shouted, running forward. “No, A! NO!”

A flinched from the sound, curling protectively into B as the lights began to envelope the two of them. “I... I’m sorry,” was the last thing that C heard before they disappeared with a flash, and C stumbled to the ground.

“No! No, no, no, NO, NO!” C scrambled about, looking around wildly, digging their fingers through the grass as if A would magically reappear.

They didn’t.

C finally collapsed to their knees, clutching the hair on their head as they screamed. “A!” they cried out as they pressed their forehead to the ground. “No! I’m sorry!”

Their futile screams turned into sobs as they curled up on the grass, hating themselves for their mistake.

“I’m sorry...”