#tw:emetophobia

[sebbiesolace]

[to prebreach Sebastian] "Hun, are you eating enough? You seem exhausted. :("

"...They... have enough people that they need gone." "Even if I don't get a choice." TW:EMETOPHOBIA

"It's not like I don't deserve it."

[theloonatic]

(Tw:emetophobia, those ao3 tags)

I gotta rant mk about this one fucking fic that traumatised me to shit mk so moots gather round the fire and cook ya smores cause you are in for hell, mi pequeño mierdas.

So, as someone writing a fic with a Jarl redemption arc, I'm looking up Jarl on Ao3, to see if its been done before cause I like individuality in my works, yknow? Hate copying. What I find instead haunts my nightmares vividly. Take as long as you want to prepare yaself for this utter and complete bullshit folks.

Even looking at this makes me ill. And then, out of morbid curiosity (and also reading bad works give me self esteem abt my own) I wandered into no man's land.

I read exactly one chapter and ended up over the toilet, genuinely being sick.

I wouldn't wish reading this fic on Ted Bundy his fucking self. If Jarl from my fic saw this, especially because of his backstory, he would actually have a panic attack. Even Canon! Jarl would cry at this, I think. Hell, if you shown the grave of Matthias this, he would raise from the dead, shoot you, and then shoot himself again.

Now say what u want abt hate posting but that night I learnt that, while as an individual who's close to a psychopathy diagnosis, I can't feel strong anger, fear or sadness, I can feel disgust. It makes me so ill that I'm going to make silly soc scribbles for a while to cope. All I'm saying is some of yall need to go to jail. Also hope yall are having a nice summer, take care out there 💕

[miss-morgans-lover]

⚠️TW:Emetophobia⚠️

Being sick, as in actually throwing up <<<<<

Do I throw up often, no, is it still shit, yes. Do I still feel sick? Also yes.

Its shit, I'm ill so I've barely eaten anything today cause I've been feeling sick, then, just over an hour ago, I threw it all up 😭😭😭😭

[godknives]

cw disturbing imagery

Hi I'm Not Dead. have an amor rewrite

[img id: A Google Documents screenshot, white background and black Arial font:

Revenge tastes like a pomegranate, and stains just as easy.

Raaf is sure the walls have eyes, and that those eyes are watching him. There’s blood on his tongue and it stings like a prayer, it burns like a holy light. His canines pierce his lip as he tries to push the King off his form, the burnished gold of his hair becoming a noose around his throat, and the King leans in closer, closer, closer, so that Raaf can see his skin of curdled milk, the lilacs of the veins around his eyes, the bloodless lips curling into a smile.

Blood stains everything. Blood is everywhere. Raaf breathes it in, and it boils in his stomach. It becomes him, severed and dissected and exposed as if he lay on an operation table. His bones are velvet, and his tears are blood.

Revenge tastes like a pomegranate. It’s bitter, it tastes like blood, more blood, more blood. It’s a bestial heart, the one that beats in Raaf’s ribcage, while the one in the King’s chest is void.

His lifeless body is heavy on top of him. Raaf struggles to breath — oh Saints, oh Saints — as he retracks the knife from Casimir’s neck, causing another waterfall of blood to run into his eyes and mouth, and he tries not to breathe any of it in (his lungs are bloodstained enough as it is) but it seems futile as the bright red blinds him. It’s so unnaturally red, Raaf gets dizzy at the sight. His mouth coats with sticky saliva as he finally manages to push the body off.

/end id]

taglist (as to be +/-):

@glitterandstarshine @the-starlight-writer @adhdandquills @ofbloodandflowers @saltwaterbells @hydrancheas @andiwriteunderthemoon @moonhungers @arkicts @gnymedes @odysseyofnebulae @wisteria-eventide @shiishki @chishiio @justthehopeleft @absolute-nonsense-scribblings @writing-is-a-martial-art @writeblrfantasy @cannivalisms @kait-writes @dovebeast @lord-fallen @muddshadow @uppoffringar @motelbf @houndmouthed

[cruelfeline]

So. The purification ritual. That was... a Thing That Happened. A thing that I saw and heard and can never erase from my memory. Let’s talk about it.

One of the major feelings I had over Hordak’s purification (other than violent nausea) was “why?” Not “why does Prime show this to Catra?”, mind you. It’s obviously a threat, in that regard. 

Rather, “why does Hordak agree to this; why doesn’t he resist?” He has already been reconditioned, after all. He is already serving as an obedient Horde acolyte. Why go through such an agonizing process? Why seek it out? Why willingly put himself through so much unbearable pain?

It took me a few viewings to get my head around it, especially since I honestly have trouble focusing on assessing while... while listening to Hordak scream, but I think I understand it.

The purification happens after Catra calls Hordak’s attention to his own lingering memories, reminding him of his name and, arguably, causing him to recall related aspects of his former life.

It happens after Horde Prime notes how much Catra suffers due to her memories of and feelings for Adora. He offers to show Catra a way to rid herself of this suffering, and that demonstration involves Hordak.

Hordak, rather than guarding his returning memories, rather than reveling in taking back his name, has identified these things as undesirable, as contaminants to be purged, and so he asks Prime to take them away from him. To eliminate his former life even more completely from his mind.

And as he steps forward to undergo the purification, he looks back at Catra, just for a moment, with an expression that seems to me... so sadly resigned. As if he’s silently telling her that this is his best option. As if he’s accepted the need to destroy even the faintest wisps of memory of his former life. Wisps that, if we connect Hordak’s actions to Prime’s words about freedom from suffering, are causing him enough pain that what happens next seems like a comforting idea.

Because really, what memories does he have left? Memories of a botched conquest. Of a lost, presumed dead Entrapta. Memories of disgrace and loneliness and shameful, shameful failure. Memories that he no longer wants. 

So Hordak enters the pool willingly and lets the agony of purification wash over him. And he screams. Again, and again, and again. Over and over. Because this pain is deserved, an appropriate punishment for his failures. And because this pain is worth it. It is worth ridding himself of the recollections of a failed life, of a lost love, of wonderful hopes and dreams that he can never achieve. 

Hordak suffers and screams because, after all that’s happened, he’s done. He gives up. He accepts that he’s failed, that his past life can only be a source of torment for him, and he seeks to have that torment permanently removed.

And he’s successful. He achieves numbness through this wretched purity and, for the moment, accepts his fate as a nameless part of the machine, devoid of will and purpose save for Prime’s own. This, rather than the season four finale, is, arguably, his actual rock bottom.

Thankfully, it doesn’t last.

Thankfully, upon finding the LUVD crystal, memories return despite the violent purification ritual, and this time, he does not seek to remove them. This time, the pain of the memories is soothed by the hope the crystal represents: that Entrapta is still alive. And the rest, of course, is our treasured conclusion of the Entrapdak arc.

So. That’s how the purification reads to me, in terms of Hordak’s willingness, at least. And I could certainly be wrong; it remains a difficult scene for me to closely watch. But it makes sense to me, this assessment. It makes sense that Hordak, haunted by the shame of his failure, by the loss of his only companion, seeks out this punishment in a desperate effort to rid himself of the pain of remembering.

The poor dear; watching these scenes, it’s such a relief to know he gets well in the end. 

[a-queenoffairys]

Why was Waldo Schaeffer unable to materialize himself completely in Lyoko? While not canon I heard that the novels say that the scanners can only properly children. The supercomputer can apparently only form a cohesive avatar for children since they don't have much to worry about in life. Adults having faced the stress of real life and its problems are unable to be processed by the scanners leaving only incoherent digital avatars with only Waldo able to retain his sanity. Your thoughts on that?

I think they’re not so much incoherent as monstrous. Franz’s energy form was definitely a unique case. Some quotes from book 3:

“On the images of Lyoko that I took through the eyes of our soldiers. They had all acquired monstrous appearances. One, for example, was transformed into an immense spider, and another was a child that seemed completely lost and was covered in a yellow substance that seemed like…vomit.” (...) “Yes. It’s difficult for us to face our greatest fears and accept the vision that we have of ourselves. These soldiers have dirtied their hands in all sorts of crime. And when Lyoko forces them to look reality in the face, they crumble and become immobilised.”

The first mention is when the bad guys try to virtualise their soldiers and find they all become frozen in fear. This makes sense because they’re terrorists, people who’ve done a lot of terrible things in their lives. So you’d think maybe this mainly applies to really awful people, but then we hear from one of the people who worked on the Supercomputer with Franz.

“Well, it’s a matter of mental representation, the way that each person imagines themselves subconsciously. Us adults normally make mistakes throughout our lives, and then do things that we regret. Over time, that can cause us to create really terrifying mental images of ourselves. Shortly after having begun our experiments, I myself entered the scanner to test it. I was only on Lyoko for nine seconds, but it took weeks for me to stop shaking like a leaf.”

I think this character was a scientist and not a soldier or a criminal, but this is the quote about adults regretting their many mistakes and that being enough for them to be severely affected by going to Lyoko. The book does seem to offer some explanation for Franz’s unique case though.

“It seems that Hopper is still the only man capable of surviving on Lyoko.” (...) Did he know that by entering Lyoko, the professor had lost his body, transforming into pure energy?

That he somehow lost his body in the process, so he didn’t have a body/monstrous form that could paralyse him like everyone else. The books make an attempt to explain a lot of these sorts of details so it wouldn’t surprise me if at some point they explained why he ended up losing his body, but I couldn’t find anything from a brief search.

It’s interesting he says in the show that he can’t take human form yet because he still has more work to do on Lyoko and it needs to develop more, seeing as he seemed to have all the time in the world. But maybe his paranoia reached the point where he believed he was out of time and had to virtualise them as soon as possible, and keep working on Lyoko from the inside where it was (meant to be) safe. In that case, I pretty much agree with the general assumption that an adult form is more complicated to manifest and he hadn’t implemented that capability yet. I don’t think there’s any one clear answer to the question, really, it’s open to interpretation.

[tum-like-oxygen]

Now that I'm done disassociating for the foreseeable future, someone please talk to me about sick tummies and pukey nauseated tums. 🥺

[margaritaxz0ne-blog]

[ My favorite thing in the world is when it's 4AM and I've been up sick to my stomach all night and I have to be at work at 7 and can't afford to call out. 👌🏻]

[ao3feed-redwhiteandroyalblue]

by great_turkey_calamity

Henry is rushed to the hospital after fainting and having chest pains. Pez and Alex are by his side.

Words: 2579, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Percy "Pez" Okonjo, Shaan Srivastava

Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor

Additional Tags: Hospital, Illnesses, Sickfic, tw:emetophobia, henry is severely anemic, someone help this boy, alex is stressy, pez doesn’t know how to comfort sick people, shaan is a mother hen, someone help henry this lad is a mess, NOT SAD, Not Beta Read

[newtinaboot]

TW:Emetophobia+cannibalism (?)

There was this guy named Chad at the beach. He was talking to my dad, and mentioned that he sold steaks for a living. We didn’t have anything to cook for dinner that night, so dad asked if he could buy one. Chad said “Sure, follow me,” and led us to the back of his van. There, there was a styrofoam igloo cooler, and he opened it to show us the steaks. Ignoring how absolutely fishy the whole ordeal was, dad bought a few and cooked em up.

They tasted like fucking pork.

I threw up that night.

The reason that this is a soft memory is because I got to spend time eating (possibly) human meat with my friends and family. :)

Tell me a soft memory

[uminosclassroom]

Tei is unconvinced, but he figures there are better things to do than to ask Iruka if he needs professional help dealing with his drinking problem. Tei knows a few very accommodating psychiatrists. "Overtime," he says, offensively cheerful as always. He grabs Iruka’s arm when the older man starts listing towards the ditch. "Would you like me to walk you home, sensei?"

Iruka pauses, visibly considering the offer. Kind of. It would be helpful, and he likes company, but Iruka is sobering up a little between the cool night air and vomiting up a couple of drinks. He is increasingly aware of all the reason he doesn’t want to bring Tei anywhere near his home. 

“No, thanks.” Then he continues on his way. 

[cruelfeline]

My boss just called me to discuss a case she's seeing, and the phone call interrupted my attempt at sleeping.

And friend and neighbors, I had the most surreal, disorienting moment, talking about a dog vomiting blood while blearily looking around and trying to remember if it was true, if Hordak had actually resisted his Brother before being spun around by an ecstatic Entrapta.

I feel like I fell asleep and awoke in a different reality. In the best way.

[tum-like-oxygen]

One thing that gets me all the time... Everytime.

That friend you never expected to take care of a tummy ache. Like your at the movies, your tummy hurts from too much popcorn, and suddenly they place a hand on your stomach and begin to rub it.

Or your eating dinner. You eat to much. In the car ride back the ask if you have a stomach ache and rub your belly.

You get off a ride at an amusement park and seem a little off. They sit you down and rub your belly or take you to the restroom to do so if you seem like you're about to lose it.

The friend who will rub your back and belly when your sick no matter what you look like. No matter what the cause. Alcohol, overeating, stress.

That is literally my favorite type of caretaker : unexpected friend.

(all these things have happened to me lmfao so maybe that's why I love them so much. I love that friend you never thought would care about your tummy feeling better)

[ivyblight]

Theo took the dare.

He chugged the two beers and closed his eyes. After a few moments he felt nauseous and dizzy. 

“Bathroom’s upstairs and tho the right.” He heard someone say. He ran upstairs, his head spinning faster than he could move.

“SHIT!” He collapsed to his knees and felt the beer come back up, burning his throat. He didn’t hear someone come in and close the door behind them.

[ballet-and-sugartea]

First exam today ... Already thrown up twice ...

[21st-centuryliability]

I'm just curious to find out if anyone who has anxiety ever feels really ill because it of it? I've currently had a headache and nausea for the past 3 days that's all anxiety induced because I also have really bad emetophobia and I honestly feel like I'm going to pass out when I stand up. None of my friends or family really understand just how serious and horrible things get with both of these things and I don't know what to do. In honestly considering going back to the doctors again. Does anyone else get like this? /: