#tw:ednos

[nuclearnokia]

I went to the bathroom today at work and I got distracted by my phone so I was in there for like.....a decent amount of time. And I come back and my kids start laughing and I’m like “awk they totally know that I pooped but whatever” and then they say

“We we’re saying that you were so tiny you probably fell in and got stuck”

And dear Jesus. I’ve never had another human being call me tiny before.

Yes. Short.

But not tiny.

Literally my personal body image fluctuates so much with me being comfortable with how I look to me exercising multiple times per week for hours and only ingesting food so that I don’t die.

Like I’m loving the validation that someone thinks I’m “tiny” but at the same time it’s all I can think about and now I want to go workout just to get smaller and this is not the mindset I should be in right now

[birdwithnofeet-blog]

I really want to become a plus size model now. I want to turn your narrow-minded beauty ideals upside down. If you think I should model cuz i'm skinny, watch me do it when i'm not. 

(((so annoyed with relatives right now)))

[thehumanprideproject]

Do you remember that time? Do you remember that time when you took your first step, of course you don't but I do Do you remember the time you first said my name, of course you don't but I do Do you remember the time when you entered kindergarten, you were smiling from ear to ear, of course you don't but I do Do you remember the time when you stopped talking to me, of course you don't but I do Do you remember the time you came home from school, tears streaming down your face, I asked you what was wrong but you just said to leave you alone and you locked yourself in your room, of course you don't but I do do you remember the time you started skipping meals, and I begged and pleaded with you to eat, of course you don't but I do do you remember the time you reopened your wounds before they could heal, of course you don't but I do do you remember the time you laid in the bed in the hospital, tubes in your arms and on a breathing machine, of course you don't but I do do you remember the time that you drifted away, of course you can't but forever I will It is estimated that 8 million people in the US have an eating disorder, 7 million women and 1 million men. Each year thousands lose the battle. Eating disorders are illnesses, they are not a choice. If you know someone with an eating disorder please get them help before its to late. A good starting point is the National Eating Disorder Association. Their website is http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org and you can call their helpline anytime at 1800 931 2237 they also have a click to chat feature on their website.

charlie

everybodiesbeautifulimage

everybodiesbeautifulimage2

thebodyprideproject

[thepeasantcourtier-blog]

((I might be doing this wrong for a biology essay...))

... but I don't care

The question is "is eating these days too great a risk to take?" and it's only meant to be 1200 words, but guess what I'm talking about?

Eating disorders and obesity. And their affects on the body and how the media affects them.

I probably shouldn't but I'm talking to my tutor about it tomorrow and if he says "leave out the media bit" then I will but I want to address the eating disorder thing if I can because it does cause a lot of problems medically and I reckon it's a good thing to discuss on the "is eating too risky" idea.

I probably should've done psychology.

Meh.

Anyhoo, what do you guys think? Good idea? Bad idea? Not sure?

Either way I'll probably re-write bits of it and post it on my personal anyway. Or on the ask-annie project which is oddly quiet and that makes me sad

Oh well.

thoughts?

[obligatory-regal-name]

My favorite part of tumblr mobile is the fat shaming and weight loss ads they show me like :-)))) I don't post about having an eating disorder on this blog :-)))) it's fine :-)))))

[jessicrunk]

I feel super disgusted with myself right now. Ice cream and cheesecake. I could seriously fucking cry right now if it wasn't for the fact that I'm with friends. It's too late for me to fix it, and again, I'm with friends so it's not like I could even if I wanted to.

[concretejunglegym]

Being so weird about food. I was really hungry. So hungry. But I didn't want to eat anything. Nothing felt "right". And it upset me to think of eating something that's not right and all the things made me nervous. And scared and panic-y thinking of eating them. And my hunger felt large and deep and vast. But I just didn't feel like eating things that weren't right. I did eat. Something 'safe' but not right and it was really difficult. And I'm still hungry and I have more to eat but the above is happening still.

[winteringstings]

so the other day, for the first time in a long time, i went over 24 hours without eating anything. i didn't necessarily mean to, it wasn't caused by nerves or self-hate, i was just feeling really lazy. i'm trying to get back on track and force myself to eat on a schedule, but it's hard because some habits are so easy to slip back into. i'm going to be okay though. 

[hereunderthe75stars]

postsecret's weekly secret update has an eating disorder theme for Eating Disorder Awareness week. Check it out. 

[birdwithnofeet-blog]

Simply being skinny has become triggering for me. Ugh. 

[winteringstings]

So, I'm definitely relapsing. Lately I've been forgetting to eat or consciously not wanting to. I feel dizzy a lot, I'm easily overwhelmed, and I just want to sleep.

It's so weird being aware of everything, because unlike last time, I know exactly what I'm doing.

I think I'm going to try and sort myself out during the next week or so & if I can't get out of this funk, I'll talk to my therapist.

I think I'm just overwhelmed because fall/winter is just historically a difficult time for me, because of past triggering events, but whatever's up I'm going to get through it because I need to be done with this.

[royal-ellie-blog]

I miss working out.

For the past two and a half months or so I’ve been eating anything and everything, without reserve or calorie counting. I stopped working out because I was obsessed to the point of crying if I missed a workout. I’ve lived my life free of the obsession of dietary review, of feeling guilt weigh on me for not working out. This is the most recovered I’ve ever felt with my relationship with food... However, this is the least amount of positive self-body image I've ever had.

But I miss working out, and my stomach can’t handle just eating the processed crap my mother exclusively buys, and I don’t have health insurance anymore so I have to start eating better or else I’m going to start internally bleeding again.

But I refuse to track my calories. I refuse to be obsessed about my workouts - I spend 8 hours a day at school four times a week, 5 for classes and 3 at tutoring or studying so I really learn the subject. I get up at 4 or 6 every day to take Cody to work or to go to school. I spend usually an hour or two on my homework; I have four classes and all of them have labs. I need to not beat myself up(literally) over it for not being able to work out if I’m too exhausted or don’t have the time. Plus, Cody said he wanted to join up at the gym with me, so my love will also be my workout partner. He watches over my habits and helps me cope when I feel I can’t, so I think his support and being there will really help it feel like a pleasure again, and not putting myself through a hellish experience.

Finally, I weighed myself. In two and a half months I’ve fluctuated… 2 pounds. 140 to 142. So pretty much, I’ve gained no weight besides water despite eating crap all the time. Pretty happy about that.

Still… Time to start eating better, cause this constant discomfort of the stomach (and sometimes extreme pain) is getting old again.