#tw: a bunch of awful stuff

[sun-kissy]

heart | bucky barnes

bucky barnes x reader — ★ — wc 1k

summary: bucky asks you why you love him

tw: hurt/comfort, tears, angst to fluff, bucky is so precious and needs to be protected at all costs 🥹

The rain poured violently outside, hitting the ground in torrents. But the doors muffled it to barely audible thumps. Thump. Thump. Thump.

The repetitive sound ran through your mind like some kind of mantra, too tired to think of much else. Paired with the feeling of Bucky’s hair on your fingertips, it was almost meditative.

You sat curled up on the couch with his head in your lap. You had wanted to get started on your next read, The Hobbit — but Bucky insisted on annotating it before you did, claiming it would help you understand it better. So you let yourself relax while he did.

You’re broken out of your reverie by the soft sound of your name, and look down to see Bucky gazing up at you.

“Yeah?”

“Can we… talk for a bit?”

You think he looks a little nervous, though you’re not sure why. It makes you nervous. “Sure, what’s up?”

He marks the book before closing it, pushing himself up into a sitting position. His tongue juts into the side of his mouth, eyebrows bunching up as he turns to face you.

Bucky doesn’t say anything for a bit. He just stares down at the couch. It’s like you can hear him playing with different responses on the tip of his tongue, frown widening by the second. 

You’re restless, almost dying to ask him what had happened. But you hold back for his sake.

Finally, he sighs and meets your gaze for a split second before diverting it again. “Why do you…” He clears his throat. “Why do you do this?”

You blink. “Do what?”

“Why do you —“ he sighs and runs his hand through his hair. He looks perplexed. “You know, be with me and stuff. Why do you love me?”

There’s a sensation in your heart, a tad bit worse than sinking. It’s like drowning.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

You stay quiet, taking a moment to collect your thoughts. Bucky seems to take it as his sign to continue.

“I’ve done so many awful things, doll, and you know it. I — I’ve hurt people, fuck, I even murdered them. I’m a murderer. And I —“

“That wasn’t your fault.”

“You always say that.” It felt like someone was stabbing you in the heart, right through the little atrium where your heart begins to beat. “You always say it. But it’s not true, it’s not. It’s my fucking fault. I killed those people.”

“Bucky,” you know you sound worried, and that it might freak him out. But you can’t bring yourself to care right now, seeing his head hung between his hands like that. Though it was months ago, he looks as tortured as he did on the day you first met. On the day he had just been saved from Hydra — and it scared you. 

He doesn’t respond.

“Buck,” you try again, softer, hesitantly reaching out to rub his arm. He lets you. “I mean it, you know? I mean it when I say it’s not your fault. You were brainwashed. You wouldn’t have done… any of it, if it were up to you.”

“But that’s just the thing, isn’t it? It wasn’t up to me. Brainwashed or not, I still did it.”

There’s nothing but biting anguish in his voice; self deprecation at the tip of it.

“You didn’t choose to.”

He takes a shuddering inhale, and that’s when you know he’s holding back tears. It wasn’t visible to you. But it’s audible now. “Hey. Hey, babe.”

You scoot closer towards him, hand on his arm drifting round to his back. 

You give the nape of his neck a gentle squeeze, and it seems to be all the reassurance he needs to let go. A strangled sob escapes him.

“Okay. It’s okay, Buck. You can let go, yeah? Just let go,” you say, trying to ignore the dull ache in your heart as you wrap your arm around him. 

Bucky starts to cry, softly at first. Then he starts to shake, pent up sobs coming out like a storm after rain. It’s heartbreaking. He instinctively curls into you, and you hold him.

“You didn’t choose to do it. Any of it,” you murmur again. He pushes his face into your chest, tears and snot and self-hatred and all. You take it as a sign that you’re getting through to him. “You were forced, my love. You didn’t want to do those things —“ you rub his back, hoping it conveys all the love that you need it to, “— so it’s not your fault. It never has been, and it never will be.”

Perhaps you sound a little choked up. Maybe Bucky notices, and that’s why he wraps his arms around you. Or maybe it’s because he loves you, and love is sometimes worth fighting your demons for.

You don’t say anything for a while more; you know he doesn’t need you to. What he needs is for you to hold him in your arms, let him feel safe as he cries. You do exactly that. You’ll do anything for him.

“I love you,” you murmur again after a bit, when his tears have slowed and sniffles are softer. You realised you never really answered his question in the first place. 

“I love you because you’re you, Bucky,” you start. “You’re soft, and sweet, and —“ you’re tearing up now, but you can’t help it. You hug him tighter. “— and you make my coffee just the way I like it. You kiss me and it makes me feel like the most precious thing in the world. You hold me when I cry, and buy me flowers like I’m worth it.”

“You are worth it,” he croaks quietly, voice muffled in your chest.

“I know I am. I know, because you showed me,” you warble, burying your face in his hair. “And I need you to believe the same. You are worth it. You can hate yourself every second of every day, and I will still love you. I’ll always love you.”

Bucky tilts his head upwards slightly to press a wet kiss to your collarbone. His lips graze the skin above your heart. “You really believe what you’re saying, huh?”

“I do,” you whisper, no hesitation. “I love you.”

You feel his hand in your hair, another soft kiss to your heart. “I love you.”

[mintmatcha]

tw: implied abuse, no curses au

"Can I ask a question?" Yuuji digs his heel into the wood chips as he swings, digging a growing trench behind him. "You don't have to answer."

Ash falls from the end of Choso's cigarette. He leans against the anchor of the swing set, cheek against cold metal, and sighs. Twilight has passed and the streetlights have turned on, giving the playground a hazy, barely lit glow. Yuuji's guardian will start calling soon, but Choso decides the extra time together is worth the future ire.

"I already told you that I'm not giving you a tattoo."

"Aw, damn-" Yuuji clicks his tongue against his teeth. Ever since they met, he's been dying for a tattoo of his own, throwing out wild new ideas almost every day. One day, when he's eighteen and likes an idea for more than a month, Choso will bring him to his studio and comply.

But, not yet.

"That wasn't my question though," Yuuji says.

"Then go for it."

The younger boy takes a deep breath, then lets it out even slower, pulling the tension longer and longer until it snaps.

"Why weren't you... around? Like, when I was a kid and stuff."

Choso takes his own breath.

"Your mom-- our mom." The taste of that sits bitter on his tongue. He never called her mom, even back then. "She was different for me."

And for our other brothers, he adds silently. Yuuji doesn't need to carry that weight yet, the knowledge that he was the exception to it all.

"Why?" Yuuji pumps his legs a little softer, the back and forth motion of the swing slowly dying out.

"I dunno." Choso wishes he had the answer to that. "She was sixteen, did bad things. Don't worry about it."

Finding out about Yuuji wasn't a shock, somehow. Years after Ken had surrendered her children to the state, Choso had received noticed that she had died. The news felt overdue. No tears were shed, no love lost; the group chat of siblings had all agreed not to go to any service, but the day of, Choso had changed his mind.

He had put on his nicest outfit -some thrift store pants that didn't fit and a shirt he stole from foster dad three- and went expecting to be the only one there, the only one willing to say goodbye.

Choso hadn't known about her new family. They hadn't known about him either. It was typical of Ken to leave a mess in her wake.

Turns out, through a series of lucky breaks, the woman had clawed her way out of poverty and into the arms of a rich, but nice man. Her life was easy and sweet, filled with luxuries and love, including a son ten years younger than her eldest.

No one knows why Yuuji was different than the others, why she decided to be good to him and no one else. Mental illness is strange like that, picking and choosing how it pleases.

Yuuji huffs, gripping the metal chains tighter. "But-"

"Yuuji." Choso drops his cigarette and crushes it under his boot. Then, he thinks about the child that will play there tomorrow, shoveling wood chips into their mouths like idiots, and decides to pick it up. He jams it into his pocket. "You have good memories of her. Don't ruin that."

He used to resent how much Yuuji loved her. He was eight when she died, the same age Choso was when he first had to dial 911 for her. That anger had long faded, replaced with a strange amount of pity.

"But I want to know. What she did and stuff." Yuuji's voice jumps high with emotion. "I'm basically an adult, I can handle it."

"You're sixteen."

"Well, mom was doing this stuff at sixteen, so-" Yuuji is seething suddenly, brow furrowed and teeth grit.

"So?"

"So, she was old enough to be doing bad things and I'm not old enough to know about it?" He stands and the swing clatters behind him. He's stocky, yet tall, bunched with muscles that he's built from baseball. On one side of his cheek, there's a bit of chocolate stuck there, a remnant from the ice cream Choso bought him. Below it, there's a rosy hickey on his neck, a remnant of the boyfriend he hasn't told Nanami about yet. He thinks they're having sex, maybe, but doesn't know how to broach the topic without scaring his brother into never talking about it again.

"And you had tattoos at my age, by the way!"

Choso lets him stew in it, huffing and puffing. The blown out edges of first tattoo peek from under his sleeve, the image barely legible now. An older woman gave it to him at fifteen, in the basement of her house. It became so insanely infected that he ended up in the ER a couple days later.

"I'm not a kid. I can handle it." Yuuji states, calm and clear. "I'm not a kid."

A car passes, it's headlights stretching and pulling the shadows across the park. In the changes, Choso can see his mother in his brother, those soft eyes and thin lips and the same slightly crooked nose that Choso has himself. He thinks, maybe, if time was kinder and his father was better, they'd look more alike each other, but then the moment is gone and they no longer even look like siblings.

"Okay."

Yuuji untenses a bit. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"Like, okay, this conversation is done, or okay, I'll tell you?"

"I'll tell you," Choso says, jamming his hands in his pocket. The cigarette butt is there, mushed and still warm against his knuckles. "But not tonight."

"What?!"

"Next time, I promise."

Choso doesn't understand why Yuuji insists on rushing away from innocence, but he knows that he can't stop him. Yuuji will find out about the abuse, the neglect, the other brothers, and the other horrors in some way or another and then things will never be the same.

"Stay a kid just a little longer." Choso resists the urge to ruffle his hair. "For me?"

"Yeah, sure," Yuuji sighs. "One more day."

[stevieschrodinger]

Link to Part One Part Two Part Three

TW Human trafficking discussions of injury

Steve feels like shit. He looks like shit. He’s pretty sure something might have straight up died in his mouth when he got that forty five minutes of sleep.

Everything looks good though. The fact that everyone else sprawled around the boardroom also looks like shit makes him feel a little better about himself. Well. Everyone but Nancy, obviously, who could probably walk out of a tornado and still look put together.

Steve only knows it’s morning because Carol just brought them all coffee. Carol does not come in out of hours. Steve learned that very, very early on. It was uncharacteristically nice of Carol to turn up with the little trolley from downstairs; it had a bunch of fruit and breakfast pastries on it, plus coffee.

She then proceeded to explain to Steve at great length how he looked and smelled like he’d been shit out by a bear, so, maybe she had motive. And that motive was being a bitch.

“Happy now, Steve?”

Steve’s got like, a whole bag of sand in each eye. Coarse, if they grade that kind of thing. Coarse sand. “Do you think we got everything?”

“I am confident that the team have done their utmost to pursue every avenue.”

“Nance, stop being a politician. That’s not a yes.”

She purses her lips at him in the way that she has, “can I have a word with you?” She scans the board room, “privately?”

Steve drags himself out of the chair, balancing one croissant on top of his coffee cup and grabbing a bear claw too, and then follows Nancy out and into a nearby office.

She doesn’t pull any punches, “I need to know how you know.”

Steve takes a big bite, then speaks with his mouthful, “can’t. NDA.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose, “and who, exactly, did you sign an NDA for?”

“The FBI.”

Nancy brings up her phone, showing Steve the screen. More precisely the headline on the screen, and Steve is thrilled that the picture they’ve used of Hagan is, objectively, fucking awful, “so Tommy Hagan was arrested last night, for Omega trafficking. When you walked into the office yesterday, oh so confident that everything relating to Hagan was going to tank…it was nearly ten full hours before this hit the news.”

Steve shrugs again, “N...D...A.”

They stare at each other for a long moment.

The door opens, Henderson’s baby face poking through. You would not in a million years think they guy was in his twenties, “Steve, morning! Sorry, I know it’s early…” Henderson seems to take in the state of Steve. Shirt rumpled, tie hanging loose, starting in on his second pastry, “but I kind of need to know why over a quarter of a million dollars was moved on Saturday, and where it went since it seemed to just...disappear?”

It takes, probably, less than a second for Nancy to leap to a conclusion like an Olympic fucking vaulter, and half a second longer for her to hit Steve with the file she’s holding.

“Er...not now, Dustin okay?” Steve manages to say, trying to shield his pastry and his coffee while Nancy gets it out of her system.

Dustin’s a smart kid, he watches Nancy slapping Steve with the papers...and just leaves.

She finally stops, pinching the bridge of her nose, and says very evenly, very quietly, “Steven Harrington, look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t buy an Omega.”

“NDA?” Steve replies quietly, uncertain, and then flinching when Nancy raises the folder again, “okay okay! Yes, yes I did. But! Under the FBI’s kind of...you know, instruction? I was evidence gathering! He’s at mine but I’m figuring out where his family are and I’ll take him back! It’s fine!”

“Why is he at yours?”

“They didn’t have anywhere for him, short notice, plus his feet are kind of messed up, from them like, hurting him. He’s been there a couple of years so doesn’t have anything, so I’ve ordered him some clothes and stuff. He’s fine.”

Nancy tilts her head, like a predator working out the distance they need to strike, “he’s...fine?”

Steve knows he’s fucked up. Nancy is using that tone. It’s...a very specific tone. “Err...yes?”

“You have an injured Omega, who has been held against his will, abused enough to be, at the very least, physically injured, never mind the emotional toll this whole thing may have taken...and he’s fine?”

Oh, no. She’s raised her eyebrow in that way she has. “I mean...yeah?” Nancy glares, and Steve backtracks, “I mean. Obviously he’s not...you know, perfectly okay, I guess. He’s been through a lot. But I made sure I fed him plenty, and he’s got some clean clothes on the bed. The bed in the room...I never actually...got around to showing him to...because I got, distracted. And it’s upstairs…” Steve can feel his insides sinking, “his feet are hurt. Shit.” Well fuck. Steve's...fucked up, probably quite badly now that he actually stops for thirty seconds to think about it.

Nancy sighs aggressively out her nose in that way she has, “Steve your security system is like fort fucking Knox, did you at least…”

But Steve’s already shaking his head, because he didn’t do that, either. He’s just...locked Eddie into a new prison. Shit.

He scrambles, feeling guilty, “I’ll give him some of the money. A lot of the money. Hagan’s...stuff. He can have the ranch?”

Nancy’s eyebrows shoot up into her hairline, “why on earth would he want the place he’s been kept prisoner for-”

Steve shrugs, “whatever he wants. He can bun it down if he likes, I’ll help. It’ll be like, therapy?”

Oh no, she gone from pinching her nose to rubbing that spot on her forehead, but then she seems to...deflate. Grasping Steve’s arm to hold him close, she actually speaks gently to him, which is, quite frankly, a million times more terrifying, “Steve. We’ve known each other a long time, now, so I say this with love. Money, wealth...is not the most important thing in life.” Steve opens his mouth to protest, but she shushes him, “I know. Alright, I know it can help, and it makes life a lot better for a lot of people...but giving people things does not...fix anything. Money is not an apology. Gifts are not an apology. And I know it’s hard for you to...see it differently, okay? Because you’ve always been very...driven, and that’s a good thing! I know how you grew up and how your father was with you and I know you feel you have...something to prove, okay, so I understand, I do. But...a lot of people put higher value on...just. I mean, maybe just go home. Say that you're sorry. Look after the Omega for a couple of days, make sure he gets home, okay? Maybe prioritize that, for a moment. You know the office will be fine...and maybe you’ll see that other things in life can have value, hmm?”

Part five

@stylelovechild @steddieonthen @marklee-blackmore @sticknpokelightningbolt @resident-gay-bitch @somegirlsomewhere @mugloversonly @weekend-dreamer7 @lololol-1234 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @mx-jinxous @goodolefashionedloverboi @bogwitchlesbian @lunaraquaenby @steddieinthesun @pluto-pepsi @disrespectedgoatman @i-eat-spinal-cords @waelkyring @kal-ology

[eliza-and-her-monsters]

the tortured poets department

Info Post

Moodboards

Part I

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Contains/TW: not really a ton of tws for this one if any! just general funny banter and i SWEAR on god that millie has game 😤 anyways! glad to finally be back! probably could’ve carried this on longer but i figured you had waited long enough <3

WC: 4.3k

Part V

The Alchemy

Caitlyn probably lived in what Americans could’ve called a ��frat house’. A large co-ed ‘almost’ mansion on Oxford campus specifically for upperclassmen. For a while now it had felt more like hers with tenants however. People moved in and out every semester, she stayed.

Whenever I woke up I was already tucked into Caitlyn’s bed, the same fancy silky sheets she had insisted on always having and getting me too. From next to the bed Ellie’s green eyes blinked, a hand extended as if in an offering. “Hey, morning, sunshine.” She said with a weak smile. I stretched a hand over to enclose around hers, squeezing as if afraid I’d lose myself the moment I let go.

“How long was I out?” I whispered in a hoarse voice.

Ellie blew out a long sigh and brought her free hand forward, gently brushing her soft fingers against a tear streaked cheek. “Long enough to hopefully make up for last night? You’re not quite to 8 hours yet but… almost.” A look of guilt filled her expression, puppy dog eyes almost as her brows furrowed together and eyes widened. Innocent eyes. Gentle eyes. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I never should’ve let you go in there without me.”

“Els, it’s not your job to be there 24/7.” I shook my head in denial. A sharp pain seemed to shoot through my skull the moment I attempted to push myself up to a sitting position. The post breakdown headaches were always the worst. Concussion-level pain that made the room spin the moment I tried to move myself at all.

“Careful, don’t sit up too fast.” Ellie moved forward in worry, a strong arm slipping around my shoulders as she slid into the empty spot next to me. “I know it isn’t my job, persay, but… I still have this awful sense of self importance that makes me feel like if I was there it- it would’ve been easier.”

“Ego dissolution, remember?” I questioned as I attempted to twist around to face her. A little flush growing on her cheeks at the subtle call out.

“You’re right, ego dissolution.” She remarked, a soft thumb stroking my shoulder from where her arm still stayed draped around me. “We can go a different day… maybe whenever there’s classes and there isn’t too many people there. Besides, you definitely need to sign up for The Oxford Writers because they’re in charge of the student publication that comes out every semester. Plus I think they even have like slam poetry events and-”

“Els, I just lost the plot entirely just at the mere thought of entering the first day of club rush. What makes you think I can get up on a stage in front of people and read some of the most personal things I’ve ever written in my entire life!” I exclaimed probably with exactly the flourish you’d need to be a slam poet.

“But what about getting published? I mean, people need to actually read your stuff to get published.”

“Actually reading it aloud in front of a bunch of people is a totally different thing.” I added with a little shake of my head. “I’m definitely going to join it’s just- I don’t know about actually performing at these events myself.” I remarked as I slumped down in the bed, letting my body slightly flop over onto Ellie’s. Her arms slid around me like always, letting me rest my head against her slowly growing bicep. “There’s something really really wrong with me, Els.” I whispered, eyebrows furrowing together as I felt that same ache forming in my chest.

“There’s nothing wrong with you.” I could practically already see the shake of her head as she bent forward to place her lips against my throbbing temple as if she wanted to kiss the pain away. “You’re just… you. Beautiful, and talented, and kind, and smart, and brave…”

“I don’t think I’m very brave.” I denied, tilting my head backwards against her chest until I could see her peering down at me.

“Being scared doesn’t mean you can’t be brave.” I shifted in her arms as she spoke, whirling around to face her until I was nearly being cradled in her lap, as if I was a bride about to be swept up and carried over the alter. “You’ve been through a lot. You’re going through a lot. But you make it through every single time. And that’s brave.” My eyes softened as I looked into her green ones, gentle and grounding eyes that changed my life the moment they first saw me.

“Promise me something, Els?” I murmured just before lifting a curled together fist, pinky finger extended. “Promise me we’ll never grow apart. Even whenever love tries to complicate things like it, you know, tends to do. Just… p-promise me you’ll always be here?”

The corner of Ellie’s lips just barely twitched upwards in a mini smile before she blew out another heavy sigh of her own. “Always and forever, Mills.” She wrapped her own pinky around mine, a secondary promise to the first one we had made in the hospital. A friendship based entirely off of pinky promises and trust, it was stronger than I could’ve ever expected it to be. “Is this about your date with Vi?” She wondered after a passing moment, her arm still wrapped around me as I settled my head back against her chest.

“It’s not really a date.” I spoke in a muffled voice with my face buried into her hoodie.

“Hmmm, let’s see… Webster’s Dictionary refers to a date as ‘a social engagement between two people that often has a romantic character’-”

“I know what a date is, you fuck!” I groaned as I gave her another playful shove before promptly rolling off of her with a huff.

“Really? Because you seemed to be a little confused-“

“It’s just I’ve… never really been on a date before.” I spoke almost nervously as I hugged my knees to my chest with a small frown.

“Well, that much is definitely obvious.”

“Ellie!” I whined as I smacked an embarrassed hand against my face.

“Okay okay… relax, I’ll be serious for a sec.” She added though not being able to fight back her own little giggle. “Do I need to give you the unbiased version of ‘the talk’ not from somebody you’re related to or…”

“No, she- she promised she didn’t wanna see me just because of that.” I flushed almost painfully as I fiddled around with my fingers currently wrapped around my shins. “That- That kind of stuff still freaks me out.”

“I get it.” She was back to being soft again as she leaned back against the headboard. “Virginity itself is such an archaic term anyways, it’s so stupid. Just make sure she takes care of you or else they’ll never find her body.”

I let out a giggle at her statement even though I wasn’t entirely sure she was joking, and the look on her face read that she wasn’t. From outside the door however our conversation was quickly interrupted by the typical sound of whisper yelling bleeding through the paper thin walls. “Don’t, Vi! Don’t! She has finally been sleeping for once since she got here-”

“Did you give Ellie the same shit whenever she got here?! Or is it just because you have this fucked up personal goal to never let me near her? Is that it?!”

“If Ellie makes her feel fucking safe then she never has to get my approval to stay with her while she’s asleep!” Caitlyn seethed, and meanwhile the arguing only felt like it was going to do my head in.

With a glare forming on my face I swung my legs over the side of the bed to finally stand up. “Mills, be careful, you could still be dizzy.” Ellie was up to her feet with a start as she rushed over to my side. I hissed in pain at the pounding in my head, hands latching onto Ellie’s arms as if to better hold myself steady. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. I think there’s pain medicine in your bag.” She slowly lead me forward until everything came back into focus.

“Guys, it’s okay, I’m awake.” I voiced once I swung open the door nearly causing the arguing pair to jump in response.

Caitlyn’s face visibly softened as she peered down at me, arms still folded across her chest much like they were every time her and Vi argued. Which seemed to be a regular occurrence nowadays. “Hey darling, how’re you feeling?” She asked, reaching a hand out to gently rub my arm.

“I’m okay, my head’s just… pounding.” I answered, trying to massage out one of the aches that stretched across my eyebrows. From behind me I felt Ellie pressing two pills into my free hand before holding out my water bottle. “Thanks.” I voiced before tossing them both back almost without swallowing a drop of water.

“Cait, let’s give them a second to talk, okay?” Ellie cautiously began, extending an arm out to grab Caitlyn’s arm as if she was a rapid zoo animal, just waiting for a lashing. One look seemed to communicate it all though, you won’t stop her from seeing her. She’ll find a way regardless.

“Fine, but I’m just downstairs.” I wasn’t sure if she meant it as a threat towards Vi or if she was trying to reassure me, but either way she let Ellie take her arm to lead her down the hallway. All the while Ellie glancing back over her shoulder at the two of us to shoot us a knowing wink.

“Uhhh sorry… about that.” I spoke with nearly bright red cheeks as I twisted around to face her. “Caitlyn can be kind of… ummm, intense, but I guess you know that already. Do you do the same thing with Jinx’s suitors or-?”

Vi only laughed with a little shake of her head, muscles bulging even as she just simply crossed her arms. “Oh hell no, Jinx would kill them before I even got the chance. You, on the other hand…” She added, the lightest hand reaching upwards to grasp my chin as she ever so slightly nudged it upwards. “Look like you’d let someone walk all over you if it wasn’t for Caitlyn.”

“Having an overprotective sister certainly helps.” I shrugged, the pink tint on my cheeks only growing more and more by the second.

“So,” she began with a clear of her throat, my breath catching in my own as I felt her hands unravel to cup the side of my face. “How’re you feeling?”

“Embarrassed.” I huffed, leaning right into her touch however, lifting a hand upwards to wrap around her wrist. Only in some attempt to get her to draw closer. “Sure you still wanna be seen with me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” She answered with a softened expression, the lightest touch brushing underneath my cheekbone as she pulled me in. Sometimes I wondered if her cologne had pheromones in it, something akin to laughing gas that had me losing all sense of control. I think I would’ve given anything to not be someone who fell so easily. I know I barely knew her, but it didn’t take much whenever you were me. I also knew, deep down, how much I wanted love. How desperately I found myself searching for it in every unlikely place. Every place that I just had a sneaking suspicion would hurt me. “C’mon baby, come back to me.”

“Hmmm?” I hummed against her chest before I could feel her nudging my chin upwards to meet her face once more. I didn’t even realize how much things seemed to disappear whenever she held me until she was nudging me back to reality.

“You got quiet there for a second, I… wanted to make sure you hadn’t dozed off.” She chose her words carefully, a slight hint making me feel like they actually implied something else.

“Sorry I uhhh, I’m okay. Just kind of spaced out there for a second I think.” I chuckled nervously with a little shake of my head. “Do you… you know, still wanna see me tonight?”

“As long as you still wanna see me. I know you’ve had kind of an eventful day.” I flushed once more as I let out an airy chuckle just before I caught myself dragging my fingers up her muscular arm. “I do know if you keep touching me like that though I’m gonna have to see you.”

“Sure you’re not just a smooth talker?” I let a little smirk tug on my lips as I softly drew my fingers along her bicep like it was the most delicate thing on the planet. And I could’ve sworn I nearly heard her breath hitch.

“Yeah no… I’m gonna need to see you. For sure.” She slotted my chin in between her thumb and forefinger, lips hovering just inches from mine as she was waiting for permission or trying to tease to the best of her ability. Either way it drove me crazy. “Pick you up at 8?”

“You better.”

~

“You may enter!” Ellie called out in a sing song voice the moment I lifted my fist to knock on her cracked door. “What’s up?” She said with a sweet smile as she swiftly paused whatever game she was in the middle of. Though with one glance I could already see her eyes going wide before she sent the controller flying across the bed as she whipped around to face me. “Woah.”

I snickered a bit to myself with a little flush before spinning to face her full body mirror currently leaning haphazardly against the wall, “Do you like it? You don’t think it’s too much?” I wondered with a tilted head, back to studying my appearance in the mirror. Maybe the navy blue sweater was a bit too similar to Caitlyn, and had I gone for jeans rather than the black skirt I currently had on it definitely would’ve been. But I at least hoped that that would’ve thrown it off enough.

“Y-Yeah, I-I mean yeah, you look… wow. Y-You look really good. Like, really good.” I heard her stammer as she rose up to her feet, gnawing on her bottom lip. “I-I mean not to say that I haven’t always thought that you were beautiful because you are but-”

“Els, breathe, it’s okay.” I laughed, lifting my hands as if to tell her to relax, and on cue I could already hear the expelling of a long breath from her lips. “Now… do you think you can help me put these on?” I wondered as I unearthed the pearl necklace from my pocket, though the action didn’t seem to calm Ellie down any.

“H-Holy shit, am I going to get hit by an ancient curse the second I hold these?” She stammered with widened eyes as I dropped the pearls into her palm.

“Of course, your bloodline is screwed for at least the next ten generations.” I joked with a little smirk as I whipped around to face the mirror once more, lifting my long mane of hair out of the way.

“Good thing the cursed Williams bloodline dies with me then.” She added as she gently wrapped the necklace around my neck and fiddled around with the clasp for at least a hot minute before finally securing it.

“Oh yeah? Going for a childless cat lady kind of look?” I hummed with a light touch to the pearls as I whirled back around to face her.

“More like a childless dog lady, not that I should ever be expected to take care of another living being.” She shrugged casually causing me to let out a little chuckle as I stepped forward to slip my arms around her.

“Well, you’re at least a pretty damn good friend.” I muttered as I let my cheek rest against her shoulder. “I do feel really bad… you know, leaving you by yourself already whenever we just moved in.”

“Don’t love, seriously, it’s okay.” Ellie whispered, lifting an arm upwards to hold my head. “Go make friends, fall in love maybe… I’ll be okay, and I’ll be right here, regardless.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t do the same.” A little frown formed on my face as we pulled away. And I hated how hesitant I felt to do anything that Ellie wasn’t involved in. I know it was unhealthy, I didn’t need anyone to tell me that. But from the moment I met her it was as if there was some invisible string tied between the two of us.

“I will… I’m sure I will, just don’t worry about me, okay? Honestly, I mean I spent the first 16 years of my life alone. One night isn’t gonna kill me.” She brushed off with a weak smile before the sound of a knock on the door interrupted us both.

“Oh god… I didn’t realize it was almost 8. A-Are you sure I look okay?” I stammered, not even noticing the anxious pit that had grown in my stomach until I finally stole a glance at the clock.

“You look beautiful, now c’mon don’t leave her standing out there.” Ellie urged with a laugh as she gave me another gentle push towards the front door.

My eyes widened in surprise once I saw both of the brightly colored heads of the siblings however once I threw the door open. “Oh, Jinx! Hey-”

“Hey lesbians!” She interrupted with a grin just before sweeping inside without a second thought.

“Sorry, she insisted on keeping Ellie company while we were out and apparently she lives in the same complex so-” Vi began with an embarrassed tint to her cheeks.

“This unit’s so much nicer than mine though. Damn Ellie, are you also a nepo baby or something? Oh well, I guess being bffs with a Kiramman helps.”

“Oh my god, do you ever stop yapping?” Vi groaned to herself causing me to let out a tiny chuckle.

“No, it’s okay… open door policy here.” Ellie said with a nervous little smile of her own, cheeks reddened as if slightly amused herself.

“Yeah, stay as long as you want.” I repeated before finally letting my eyes sweep briefly up towards Vi. Still in that same leather jacket with a maroon button up underneath this time, undone just enough to drive me nuts and have to work twice as hard to keep myself from ogling. “So… ummm, a-are you ready?”

“Whenever you are.” She said with a little jingling of her keys before offering a hand for me to take.

“Vi, take care of her or else I’ll kill you, got it?” I heard Ellie’s protective voice over the anxious roaring in my ears.

“Yeah! And I’ll help!” Jinx exclaimed defiantly as she popped out from behind her.

“Alright, down tigers…” Vi snickered before I felt the weight of her muscular arm encircling around my shoulders, my heart stuttering to a skip in my chest as she did so. “I’ve got her.”

“I’ll see you later, Els?” I spoke just before lifting a little hand to give the two a wave.

“See you, Mills, have fun.” She remarked with another soft and subtle smile before letting the door slowly drift shut.

“Wow, you’re an American foreign exchange student with a car, I’m actually impressed.” I couldn’t help but flush even harder once we made it outside. An endless burn to my cheeks as we approached the large truck currently parked quite illegally on the curb.

“Really? I guess that’s a good thing, Kiramman’s seem quite difficult to impress.” She teased lightly as she trailed behind me towards the passenger side door.

“We can be, I’m not saying you don’t have your work cut out for you.”

“Well, challenge accepted.” The corners of her lips upturned in a smirk that made my insides twist, the raised entrance to the passenger seat not at all helping as she pulled the door open. “May I?” She questioned with an extended hand.

“You may.” I said with a small smile of my own as I slipped my hand into hers. She held my balance well as she hoisted me up into the vehicle, a gentle hand sliding around my back as if to keep me steady.

“To be fair, trucks are kind of hard to come by in england… Oxford specifically. You think it would be more because of the whole… you know, people moving into uni thing but-” my cheeks heated all over again as I watched her curious eyes scanning over me once she was situated behind the wheel. “S-Sorry I’m yapping. I- I yap a lot whenever I get nervous.”

Vi let her head tilt slightly, that same little smirk remaining on her lips. And I swear it was going to drive me crazy one day, if it hadn’t already. “Do I make you nervous?” She stated before firing the truck up into gear with a lifted brow.

I hesitated a moment, weighing the question around in my head before I propped my elbow up on the center console and shook my head, resting my cheek against my hand as I gazed up at her. “No, you don’t. And I’ve been trying to figure out why since yesterday.” Her eyes glanced over towards me, watching them stay locked on mine for a moment long enough to make my own widen. “Wh-What?” I muttered, now suddenly feeling as if nervous was the right word as she shook her head.

“Nothing, you’re just… wow.” She finally said, a smile tugging back on her lips before reaching forward to fire up the engine. “I mean I thought you were ‘wow’ before but now that you’re actually in my passenger seat it’s like, a different story, you know?”

“What? You didn’t think I’d go for you?” I wondered with my cheeks flaring as I glanced down towards where her arm was now propped up against the center console. A bruised hand almost beckoning me to slip my fingers through it.

“Are you kidding me? Have you seen you? Have you seen me-?”

“Oh right. Bad boy in a leather jacket covered in tattoos who also happens to be an icon on the hockey rink. What innocent little doe-eyed femme would actually wanna go for you?” I sarcastically drawled on causing her to snicker with a brief roll of her eyes.

“You know, you do have a bit of a bite to you, you know that?”

“Well, Caitlyn Kiramman is my sister… and she taught me well.” I remarked almost proudly as I twisted a long strand of my hair around my finger.

“I bet Ellie cried the first time you used that sarcasm on her.”

“She did ask me if I was mad at her, but in both of our defenses we usually think people are mad at us if their vibe even slightly shifts.” I explained with a clear of my throat, finally giving in and letting my hand slide across the console to Vi’s. My fingers cautiously slipped through hers, so much smaller it was almost comical. She didn’t seem to mind though, another little smile forming on her lips as I slowly tugged her hand over towards my lap. “Just so you know though she isn’t this innocent little deer either, like, she could kill you… she could fuck you up if she really wanted to.”

“Oh trust me, I know, I mean have you seen her on the rink whenever she isn’t terrified of Anderson? Like she’s good. She’s really good. Contrary to popular belief I am going to try and not get on her bad side.” Vi added, and I don’t know why but the way she did speak so highly about her was refreshing. There wasn’t any jealousy between the two, at least for now, and I really hope it stayed that way. “Speaking of which, we’re here. I know we could’ve probably walked but what can I say? I wanted to show off the truck.”

“The ice rink? Geez, do you ever leave?” I questioned with another chuckle as I peered upwards to see the same stone building. “I thought they locked this place up at night.”

“They do, for outsiders.” She grinned as she brandished a key clipped to a silver carabiner before shutting off the engine and climbing from her seat.

“We’re- We’re not gonna get in trouble, are we?” I asked the moment she swung open my door with my eyes going wide. And suddenly the goody-two-shoes had possessed me once again.

“Baby, I’ve got a key. What could we get in trouble for?” She laughed before extending a hand to help me slide from the large vehicle. My heart nearly skipping a beat in the process. “I mean, your parents probably paid for this building anyways.”

“Well, not this one specifically, you’re thinking of the Anderson family.” I added, the feeling of her hand sliding back into mine nearly catching me off guard. “So ummm, what are we doing exactly?”

“You ever been skating before?” She wondered before gently tugging me towards the entrance, the question causing me to halt right in my tracks.

“Oh… Vi- th-this is a really sweet idea but I’m absolutely ass at skating. I went once with Ellie and cracked the shit out of my ankle- a-and I don’t even have skates!”

“Relax, I can get you rentals.” Her warm arm draped itself back over my nearly quivering shoulders. I don’t know why but it was almost calming, letting her drag me towards the entrance while I anxiously caught my bottom lip in between my lips. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you and your very sensitive ankles safe.”

“My ankles are not sensitive.” I huffed, expression shifting into a scowl as I tried to give her a playful shove, but she didn’t buck nearly as easy as Ellie did.

Vi only let out an airy chuckle before whipping out the carabiner attached to her belt loop once more and slipping the key to the rink into the lock, “Sure thing, princess, I’ll take your word for it.”

Credits: dividers by @saradika-graphics

Taglist: @sawaagyapong @autisticgirlkisser @macamilarofe @nombreuxx @snowbunnyboo @lils-1979 @myrruwrites @baylegend6 @withyou-withoutthem @lil7-I @cloudy-fay @liliwritin @primarina-diamandis @soodle-noup @livil589 @riches-expresso @deepobservationcherryblossom @pixieolives-blog @roseannih @fernanda-2022

i’m new to tag lists so please let me know if i missed you! a couple of your tags wouldn’t work either! you can join my taglist here!

[inkyarcturus]

Hello I'm just curious

Do you read some Severitus fanfiction ?

Because I saw that you draw Severitus art and I love it !!

If you read some ,Which Severitus fanfiction do you prefer the most ?

HIII!!! So I’m assuming you’re new to my blog- welcome- it is essentially Severitus heaven. You will find be fed frequently. Sorry for replying to this so late- school is killing me ;-;

Severitus fanfiction is the main fanfic that I read!!!

I have an old list of recommendations somewhere in my posts but here’s the ones I can remember off the top of my head!

1. Heir to the House of Prince by Elph13

Ongoing 3 part series over a million words in total TW: SA, Self-Harm, Alcoholism and a bunch of other stuff

This is my favorite fic of all time, I quite literally cannot recommend it enough. It has Snupin and NottPott as its main two pairings and it’s just chiefs kiss, MWAH

(U need an ao3 account to read this one)

2. Oh Mine Enemy by Kirbylane

TW: Addiction, abuse

Another solid completed fic, very popular,

3. Digging for the Bones by Paganaidd

TW: Abuse, self harm, suicide attempts, probably more I haven’t read it in a while

I remember reading this 3 or even more years ago- very solid fic, I think if you like Severitus you have probably already read it before

4. A Small Step for a Boy by SerenaEW

Completed one shot, TW: ED

Very cute lil story that I sometimes go to for a lil break from the angst. Harry struggles to eat food after the dursleys and Severus succeeds in finding something he likes.

5. That Awful Boy by Paracosim

Unfortunately incomplete, snupin, abuse, a lil addiction with smoking.

In conclusion, I like my Severitus fics angsty as all hell with equal amounts of fluff. I physically can’t handle angsty fics without fluff.

[hxney-lemcn]

Here to Stay — Farmworld! Finn Mertens x gn! reader

summary: reader moves in with Finn.

tw: none.

a/n: The finale! I hope you all enjoyed this series! I never write series' cus it's hard for me to keep writing so much for one plot but this had me in its claws.

wc: 0.4k

Epilogue [Ending A]

Master List | Chapter One

“Okay guys,” I laughed lightly as they had all just taken turns giving me a hug. “I gotta talk to your dad now.”

A chorus of ‘awes’ filled the room, but they trudged out of the room anyways. I turned to Finn, who watched with a blank stare. I fiddled with my fingers, knowing I left on a sour note. 

“Uhm, I’m really sorry about last night,” I muttered.

“Where did you go?” Finn asked, arms crossed as he leaned against the counter. 

I sheepishly smiled, explaining how I managed to get back to Ooo. How I had a talk with the Finn from my world, and decided it would be best if I stayed here. “If that's okay with you of course,” I finished. 

Finn’s face softened, and he uncrossed his arms, “This is your home now, it always will be.” 

I felt myself fluster, heart beating wildly at the warm gesture. I looked off to the side, unsure how to respond. I was so wrapped up in my feelings, I missed the fact that Finn closed the gap between us. It wasn’t until he placed a finger under my chin and lifted my face up that I realized the gap was nearly gone. I took in a shuddering breath, flashes of the previous night filling my head. 

“May I?” He asked, his breath hitting my face lightly. 

Not able to say anything, I nodded. Finn closed the gap and kissed me softly. I kissed back, holding onto his bicep for stability. He pulled back quicker than I would’ve liked, but I wasn’t complaining. His hand caressed the side of my face, cupping my neck, before letting go completely. 

Suddenly, a bunch of bags poofed onto the kitchen table, a little note in front of them. I felt my face flush as the moment was ruined. I felt embarrassment rush through me as I read the note.

‘Hey, so I realized all your stuff was still in Ooo so I transported the more important stuff.

-P’

I blinked, silently cursing Prismo for being an all watching deity. But also silently thanking him for moving my stuff for me. Without a word, Finn picked the bags and my eyes widened. Where was he gonna move them? I didn’t exactly have a room. 

I followed after him as he walked up the stairs. He entered his room and placed the bags down on his bed. I felt giddy at the implication.

“There's a few empty drawers,” Finn explained, motioning to his dresser. “You can put your clothes there. Anything extra can be put where you’d like.”

“Thank you,” I thanked, already starting to put my stuff away.

I felt at peace, happy with the choices I made.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to writing a positive review of my brothers moral character?

(🖌️ to find later)

TW for drug use and misogyny

My (24X) older brother (26M) recently ended up getting arrested and charged with some very serious charges due to his distribution of fentanyl. I’m not going to get too into the legal stuff for obvious reasons but he could end up in prison for up to 30 years. I’m not any type of fan of the legal system (US, for clarification) and am not a fan of the situation but can definitely see some silver linings to him being in there. I wish there was an actually system of help he could get but with the rate he has taking drugs and the way his circle of friends was dropping (4 funerals in 6 months) my mom and I were fairly certain he was going to over does soon and he showed no signs of wanting to seek help. So ya know, at least he’ll be alive.

But that’s not fully the issue. My mom and I talked and she said his public defender wanted letters from people to prove his good moral character to read in court and, as his little sibling, figured of course I would provide one. But I truly have nothing good to say about the man’s ‘moral character’ the last time we had a conversation was before I moved out over two years ago. When I moved out my roommates I was moving in with said they didn’t want him to know our address as they would be living there too and didn’t want him bringing his violence into their lives. He blew up called me a bunch of homophobic slurs and that was pretty much it.

Before that he was my biggest reason for wanting to move out. He regularly calls my mom a bitch and a c*nt. He never cleaned up after himself because ‘there was two women in the house and we were f*cking (r-slurs) if we thought he should have to do anything.’ Lovely things like that. He punches holes in the walls, says slurs like they’re the only descriptive words he knows, steals anything not locked up (and smashes through doors and windows even then to get to it), and hounds my mom for money non-stop, usually until she gives in. In short I have nothing positive to say about his moral character.

Now my mom is a very loving mom. Far more than I could be at this point and is in denial about the man her son is. She would say she’s spent the last decade living with the personification of meth and heroin and she will get her son back some day if he could only get clean. But none of that has actually been him. I just can’t have that kind of optimism or denial towards the situation. She’s going to be very upset if I don’t submit something because she (fairly, again fuck the prison system) doesn’t think he should be locked up for upwards of 30 years.

I’m a good writer. I could come up with something. None of it really true but it can sound nice. Make my mom feel better (gods know she needs a break) but just thinking about it makes me feel gross. I don’t even know if it will matter much in court, but I don’t know how awful of me it would be to abstain.

There’s obviously more nitty gritty to the situation but this is long as it is. I just hope I didn’t make my mom sound bad because I do want to say she’s a loving woman in an abusive situation and I hope it’s not to much to ask that no one be too cruel to her in the notes, thanks.

What are these acronyms?

[pocketmania]

Yo, I'm someone who hit a funk and broke my three month streak of not hurting myself, and am feeling down... splatoon has helped take my mind off things, so would you please write some headcannons on the girls comforting a reader who they caught harming themselves? Thanks in advance, I just need the comfort rn.

I'm really sorry that that happened. I understand how you feel, so I'll gladly write some headcanons for you if they'll make you feel better. You're very strong for going for three months, yknow. And i know you're strong enough to try again. You've got this <3

I'm also gonna put a hotline number at the end for anyone, just in case

Now onto the thingy

‼️Quick TW for Self Harm/Suicide‼️

‎‧₊˚✧[ The Idols Comforting A Self-harming Reader ]✧˚₊‧

(🎨🔫🤬❤️‍🩹) - splatoon angst comfort

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

- - - - - - -

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Callie

Had just come home from a shopping spree when she found you in your room with a bleeding arm

You used one of the kitchen knives

"(Y/N)?! OHMIGOSH, ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT CUT YO-"

Then she sees the knife next to you

The expressive glow in her eyes was gone

She rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a bunch of paper towels, and began to clean your cuts

Lots of hugs and kisses with a side of kind reassurements were given that night

"(Y/N).. please don't do this to yourself. It's not worth it. It's going to be okay, whatever you're goin' through, yeah?"

She checks in with you a lot more now

Asking how you're feeling, if you've eaten, stuff like that

If you have past scars she'll kiss them

If you're feeling down (like you want to hurt yourself again) she'll give you a bunch of distractions and things to do so you don't

If you relapse, she gives you a big hug and say that it's alright

"That's okay! I'm sure you can go even longer this time! I believe in you!"

She was honestly worried she'd lose you

But she sees that you're healing now and that you're better, and that's all she could ever ask for

She's glad you're still around

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Marie

Also had just come home from shopping, but it was with Callie. She called out to you, but didn't find you in the living room or in the bedroom or kitchen, so she checked the bathroom

She found you with a bleeding leg

You used a razor

She didn't have a very "over-the-top" reaction (unlike Callie)

She just grabbed the first-aid kit you kept in the bathroom and cleaned your wounds.

She didn't wanna scare you

"I may not understand, but I know."

She gave you a tight squeeze after she was done. "I know."

She's a lot less sarcastic with you now

Always tries to make sure you're happy or at least satisfied with yourself

If you feel like hurting yourself she'll bring you into a huge cuddle-sesh until she's sure you're feeling better

Careful, those can last hours

If you relapse, she'd bandage you up and try to make you smile or laugh

"Don't worry, kid. There's always next time."

Despite how sarcastic and snarky she is on T.V., she's very caring and loving

And she'd do anything to make sure you're safe

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Pearl

"(N/N), I brought ya some foo-"

Dropped the plate when they saw you hunched over, crying with a burned arm

You used Pearl's lighter

Rushed over and immediately took the lighter from you. She accidentally burned herself, too, but that was an accident

Yours was on purpose

Pearl isn't all that good at comforting people, so she called Marina in to help

She kissed you, rubbed your back, and whispered sweet words to you while Marina helped your burns

"I'm so sorry.. Whatever happened, it's not your fault."

Pearl would continue to do all those things while you explained why you did that

Needless to say, she felt awful

From here on out, she's always doing things to keep you happy

She might make little songs for you (with the help of Marina's composing) or cook with you (albeit she's not the best cook)

If you relapse, she'll just sit there with you, head on your shoulder, ready to listen if you wanna vent or talk

Or if you just wanna sit there in silence, too

Like I said, she's not the best at comforting people, especially when they've done something like this

But she'll try her best if it's all worth making and keeping you happy

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Marina

She had finally emerged from her recording studio after at least 3 hours of editing and revising music for the Memverse

That's when she found you, bruised and slightly bleeding

You had been biting yourself and bit down really hard

She was confused at first as to why you would do such a thing

She's your personal therapist at this point

Treating the wounds, asking how you're feeling, what happened while she was gone, if you wanna talk, etc. etc.

"I know this won't help, but you shouldn't feel so bad. I am your biggest fan, and I'm always gonna be there to support you and care for you, okay?"

Even if she didn't seem all that terrified, she was incredibly scared that you would bite down too hard and really hurt yourself

Keeps an eye on you and your mood from now own

Just like Callie, she gives you things to do when you feel like harming yourself, just digitally

Lets you run through the memverse demo as many times as you'd like

If you relapse, she'll kiss your wounds (when they're clean) and say that was a good try, and that you can do better than before

But, she really wasn't lying when she said she was your biggest fan and supporter

She always was, and she always will be

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Shiver

She had just finished training a bunch of sharks just a ways from your house. She came home, fan in hand, and called out for you

You didn't respond, so she began to look for you

She found you in the bedroom, clawing at your arm

Since your nails weren't that sharp, it didn't draw blood, but it was enough to leave a mark

You swore she turned paper white when she gasped

She gasped so loud people in Inkopolis could've heard her

She quickly recollected herself and rushed over to help you

I have a headcanon that shiver excessively fans herself when she's on edge, so she did a lot of that here

"(Y/N)?? Why would you do such a thing to yourself? ... Well, please, don't do it again. You're too good of a person to deserve this."

From then on, she was a lot more caring toward you

Less sarcasm, less of a snarky personality, more of a mother figure

Makes sure you've eaten, and that you haven't harmed yourself (and that you won't anytime soon)

Also makes you trim your nails so you can't scratch yourself again

If you relapse, she encourages you to try and make your streak longer the next time

She may not show it half (or 3/4) of the time, but she really cares about you. And it would deeply hurt her if she lost you

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Frye

Randomly woke up from a really good nap, turned over, and saw you hitting yourself on your arms, legs, and head

She probably woke up due to your hitting moving the bed

You bruised your legs and arms and gave yourself a massive headache

Frye immediately tried to constrain you (and you gave in since she's freakishly strong. she's broken a rock before. twice.)

Started bombarding you with questions

"(Y/N)?! What happened?? Why were you beating yourself up?"

You broke down, and she immediately pulled you into a tight hug

"Hey, now! Don't cry! It's alright, I'm right here! I'm awake now, and I'm not gonna let anything or anyone hurt you, ya hear?"

Considering how she has siblings, she's actually pretty good at comforting people. She does, however, get extra advice from Big Man from time to time

Just like Shiver, she makes sure you've eaten and that you don't start hitting yourself again

Also makes it clear that it's perfectly fine to open up to her whenever you need to and whenever she has time to listen

If you do ever relapse, she's never mad. She'll just comfort you and ask you to try again

Frye's got a soft side, especially when it comes to you. And she's not afraid to show it if it means you'll be alive and well

- - - - - - -

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

[asukaindetroit]

DBH Prompt 004: DPD Helps With Android Salvage (Angst Ahead!)

[[TW: Canon-typical android gore and abuse. Do I even need to tag that in this fandom? This is literally Violence to Androids: The Game.]] I've seen a lot (and I mean a lot) of post-revolution stuff where Connor and Hank (or Nines and Reed, etc.) get deployed to investigate android homicides (androidicides?) and all a few weeks after the revolution, and now-androids-are-murder-victims and all, but I feel like we're collectively forgetting something: There's an entire hellscape salvage yard full of semi-functional androids just sitting in Detroit. Maybe more than one. Dead and dying androids who are being granted rights, who are need of immediate emergency aid. The civilian repair technicians have evacuated from the city… and regular EMS isn't going to be able to help. Which usually means the task gets funneled to police and fire services, and volunteer search & rescue. So, you got a whole bunch of emergency services workers who are either benched because Detroit is under martial law, or otherwise being voluntold/deployed to the scrapyard to help Connor's army of AP700s in an emergency triage/parts salvage operation to save as many of those androids as possible, seeing as they're now, like, actual citizens that need saving. Cue robo body horror, existential angst, DPD officers with anti-android sentiments (looking at you, Gavin) getting traumatized by the sheer volume of android gore (a million groaning, glitching, half-deactivated horror stories waiting to be cataloged, triaged, reassembled with the spare parts of their permanently deactivated brethren), humans tasked with sorting limbs into piles while androids scan bodies and processors for the possibility of reactivation and scramble to save as many as possible… nobody comes out of that emotionally well. You'd have to be psychopath to not empathize with all the sad androids.

It's ugly, awful work. Chris is tormented over guilt for contributing to the pile a few days earlier. Gavin starts out being an ass because he's Gavin, but as the day wears on he has to admit there's Big Feelings happening. Tina is crying because she just found a YK model pleading for its human owner-parent to come back. Wilson (the one that Connor saved on the rooftop) is determined to help as many androids as he can since an android saved him when it didn't have to. He's trying to embody the boy from the starfish parable. Everyone is overwhelmed and tired and hurting and surrounded by dying androids people that days ago they would have tossed in a scrap heap themselves. Jericho sends over a news crew to document the salvage efforts and to try and drum up more volunteers, but they're also processing the bodies that were decommissioned in the camps for usable parts, too. AP700s are having emotional breakdowns because they've been deviated for like a day and now have to deal with all this, there's no one else available.

I mean, if you reclassify an android as a person with rights, you can't just ignore the giant screaming piles of bodies in the scrapyard. Right? Somebody's gotta do something about the mass casualty event that's casually chilling on the street corner.

[mochinon-yah]

Yk what maybe one of you will adopt the idea OR maybe the idea is already out there.... somewhere..... but anyway-

THE IDEA: (tw: yandere and uh gore‐ish stuff?? HELP IDK WHAT ELSE????)

So, you had an ex-boyfriend who was basically a playboy before he met you, but now, he's somewhat changed. You decided to believe him since you knew people could really change, well, at the very least, you hoped so. You gave him a chance, but he... ruined it.

You caught him sneaking around with another girl. Her blouse was messily open and there were a bunch of love bites on her neck, but the most (un)surprising part was that your boyfriend was on top of her. Ah. You should've expected it. People never change.

You broke up with him despite his pleas of sorry's and whatever. You didn't care and you didn't want to care. It hurt you, so you tried to avoid him like the plague. And you, of course, block him on every social media that he had. But oh no, he was still pursuing you! What a drag.

There were countless of letters appearing in front of your house, to which you just ripped it apart. But that was much better since you knew what to do and where to throw it away. It was when you started to get gifts from your ex that started to make it more... scary. (You somehow couldn't make the police move after showing them the countless threatening and bizarre letters)

It ranged from expensive stuff to stuff that was on your wish list, and even to stuff that you were not... expecting to get.

One day, coming home from an awful day of work/school/whatever, you were met with a big red box of something on your kitchen counter. Knowing who gave this to you, you rolled your eyes and simply opened to know what it was inside. You were just... curious. But you know what they say—curiosity killed the cat!

A strong smell of rotten hit your nose immediately. What an awful smell. When you thought that the smell was worse, you haven't seen what the gift was—it was a heart! A real one.

You stumbled down to the ground; your legs went weak at the sight of it. It was... not a normal heart you'd see on a tv drama or somewhere. It was... an abomination. Countless of different hearts were sewn together to make a heart symbol, or love, i suppose. The blood was still there too, making the box somewhat sticky inside.

It was... fresh?

You felt yourself wanting to throw up, but it stopped when you saw a shadow looming over your body. You looked up, and it was your ex standing from behind you.

"Surprise! Happy anniversary, love. Did you like my present? Oh, what am I saying—of course, you'd like it! I know you doubted my love after what had happened, so I took the liberty to take hers and my other exes' and also your exes' heart to make a love! Now, you won't doubt my love for you, right? It's a gift full of effort, so you better be grateful for it!"

He grinned, a psychotic look on his face as he watched you quiver in fear.

[krissykrausey]

Yesterday night I shifted successfully!

(first post on Tumblr ever please forgive me for anything weird I say, I don't like posting on social media)

TW excessive language (sorry) and slight inauguration mention

(also unorganized thoughts)

The night of the unfortunate inauguration n stuff- oh boy was that a shit show. Thankfully, I was successful!! This post is to help at least a few people shift, so if im successful in helping one person then I'm satisfied. Also cause of all the shit happening in the world I felt obligated to help in some way, leave an somewhat of an impact before I go. And I'm leaving this reality too once I finish my shadow work lole (to like... Help me leave behind this type of reality forever n stuff, like help me move on from the bad shit that happened there), anyways here's how I did it!

~~~

I finally sat my ass down and did a method that worked for me, and it was so incredibly easy like damn??? I struggle with focus but this was surprisingly easy wow. the transition was so casual as well, like it felt natural but I could also tell that there was a chunk of time that passed. (Hard to describe) Honestly not sure what the differences are, but this proved to me 100% that I am a master reality shifter and that I'm not stuck whatsoever zamn- and I've been doing this for almost four years, with only a handful of short shifts. yippeeee-

~~~

I basically made my own subliminal in my void reality and put like almost 90 affirmations in it lol (rip my storage, I used capcut btw but you can use anything!), and with the help of my spirit guides through tarot and determination to leave that awful reality, I fuckin did it!!! Oh and also a bunch of intention setting too, and I noticed that when I started getting tired during my method that it was working. But not everyone will get a sign, that was just me.

~~~

I used the rain method and I knew that it would work for me because I used my intuition to find out exactly what method would work for me. If you want to find out what works for you the same way I did, I suggest building up your intuition by listening to subliminals and/or asking tarot cards (if you have them) what type of method suits you. I asked my intuition in my head this (once I was confident enough that it was really my intuition, like getting confirmation from my spirit guides) and got that answer and found the exact method it was referring to- now not everyone has to use a method, I just asked what method would successfully shift me 100% of the time and that's what I got. I also suggest not going overboard (speaking from personal experience, trying to find out every single little thing about it can make you a bit obsessive IN MY EXPERIENCE only mine you may be different-), and find balance when using your intuition for your Drs. I can give at least one example of what I got from one of my drs that I found out though!

~~~

The reason I'm going into a lot of detail is because I've been in like the same/similar position you were, like a lot of successful shifters say this but it's true. I was really really lost when it came to my shifting journey for a long time and would constantly be looking for different methods or routines or something to get me out/escape. Which is understandable, because just look at the type of reality we are in lol. It wasn't until I let go and trusted the process that I fully did it. For me it really is was all about trusting myself to do conscious shifting, though I'm only one person who happened to shift.

~~~

You will shift/enter the life of your dreams no matter what, keep knowing this and even if it's just a "small" thing to help you on your journey, it is important. (If I knew how to italicize words on here I would lolol) It's a small yet important step that will lead you to where you need to go, hell even if it doesn't help at least you tried something and progressed in a way. Also taking care of myself outside of shifting in small ways helped too. Sorry if this is kinda convoluted, I wanna bring some encouragement to you fellow shifters lol. Dont overthink it! Or fuck, do it if it makes the process easier, I don't know you! Only you know you and what you can handle and do in the moment. You are your own teacher, is something a tarot reader told me which I think is important to let you know.

~~~

I won't be able to answer questions because I'm working on leaving but! I wish you all luck on your journeys, and I'll be hoping that you do it soon as well :-) I shared my experience so I'm satisfied. also please don't ask me to shift for you- you can do it! go see your people and taste the yummy foods in your Drs! (Also I will not be sharing my subliminal I made as it is personalized to me and myself only) I will be leaving after I'm done with my shadow work, which could take awhile lol. Thank you for all the shifters who inspired me to shift, I'm so incredibly grateful to become aware of this innate ability that everyone has. im just a trans masc guy who happened to shift successfully yippeeee, if I did it you can and will too

Thank you very much for reading if you read the whole thing lol

The rain method I used!:

http://aminoapps.com/p/54fk90

oh shit I found out how to italicize now haha

trans rights 🏳️‍⚧️ and free palestine 🇵🇸

[lastlifecleo]

I saw ur Prime Defenders villain au and I’m so curious about it, it seems so interesting and fun and I wanna know everything!!! Where is it different from the what if? How did the ghostkicks & polypd happen? Tell me everything :)! Also love ur design for Kota I love his long hair 👀!

ahh tysm for asking!! SO theres a lot different, i suppose i should go character by character

(tw for some pretty dark themes)

to start with will. (in this au uses they/them) they are pretty similar to the oneshot except i made up backstory stuff because i can!! part of it is that they cant feel any pain and never have been able to, so theyve always been fascinated by the power pain has over people and what it can make them do, especially given they dont really know what it feels like. their backstory is similar to normal william wisp except theyre more power hungry and start to use their abilities to take the power from the creatures they and the unwitness protection program find. theyre ... not exactly chill w that and the group breaks up. will starts to withdraw themself more and more and listen to the voices in their head telling them they should totally just kill everyone and eventually theyre like "wow yeah i should kill everyone!!" so one day during church they use their powers we saw in the one shot which lets them make everyone have an insatiatble bloodlust and basically cause a slaughter and they run off. given they didnt exactly hide it very well theyre arrested when they arrive at rockfall and taken to the supermax

tldr: wills obsession with pain and power goes A Tad Bit Too Far and they end up in jail.

as for kota (she/her in this au) she has always been a bit feral. ill try and make this explanation shorter but basically every adult that shouldve taken care of her died and she took that as a sign that she just wasnt good enough for them, that they didnt want her. she went into the care system and saw kids who had powers always being chosen over her. she even begged ms g (who she later came to sort of blame for her parents death) to take her in and train her but ms g didnt take her seriously becuase she was only a kid with no powers and rejected her. in a kind way, but it still stung. due to this kota began to grow to hate superheroes and just the world in general, viewing herself as an outcast to the world. being about 8 years old she decided the logical thing to do is run away to the woods to be raised by wolves. however instead of wolves shes found by grandma cole (who is more evil in this au) and trains under her and master cole. being an edgy kid she calls him master kill which is where her name comes from. they treat her terribly but tell her that she needs them and they love her and noone will treat her better. when shes 18 grandma cole falls seriously ill and while kota is out getting firewood she dies. except not from the illness...(oo mystery mystery intrigue intrigue) kota runs to the nearby rockfall city and totally pushes that girl off that building on purpose. however when theyre found ppl still assume kota was trying to save her and she undergoes the same surgery. however the surgeon is also evil because everyone must be and also puts a whole demon in her as well as the heart. anyway she wakes up kills everyone leaves gets arrested and taken to Rockfall supermax.

(i said id make this one shorter but wow it really wasnt huh)

as for virion, (any prns in this au) hes the closest to canon. he alsp falls thru the portal and gets ppl in her head exvept this time doesn't just kill a theif but also a bunch of cops too and is taken to the supermax! wow that one was short and sweet

ashe (she/her) hates how powerless her upbringing has made her. she resents the world from afar and the only time shes entertained is when awful shit happens. the only time she has ever felt in control of her own life is when the trickster took her over and totally killed her mum! ironic because she wasnt even the 1 in control there lol. she loves the power the trickster gives her and begins to study it more and more. im sure that wont go badly.

when theyre in the supermax (ashe is the only one not there) they all become a sort of gang and meet tide, and they work together to escape. this is where ghostkicks starts except kota is too thick to realize she has some sort of feelings for them and william is scared of the potential feelings and pushes them down. kota basically becomes williams guard dog lol. kota doesnt like virion cuz she feels hes taking will away from her. after they escape they start to work under the lambert brothers (who are also all evil here) and also with ashe. they call themselves the "prime offenders" lol. they burn down the base of the prime defenders (who in this au is doug, cantrip and le frog) to try and capture wavelength

as for ghostknife, their dynamic is similar to in canon except william is somehow more weird about it. idk how better to explain it

pizzarat (virion and kota) is one sided (at first, anyway) because virions falls for kota after she beats him in physical combat which i feel is a very virion thing to do. kota continues to dislike them but xey keep trying to show how devoted they are to her and eventually kota starts to trust her more

WOW thats a lot huh!! i apologize for how damn much that was and i haveny even talked about the prime defenders or their siblings, xavier and alan, the lambert brothers or what wavelengths and tides whole deal is here

thanks so much for asking!!

[wellofdean]

Sorry this might be weird but I love how positive you are, about SPN, TW, Dean, Jackles. It's just so nice to see someone having discussions and thoughts about these things without needlessly putting people down. Your blog just genuinely makes me really happy so thank you for that.

Aw, thank you!

The truth is, I really love Supernatural and Dean, so it isn't difficult! And, basically, this is my fun, escapist outlet, so I don't really want to engage with a bunch of negativity. As for putting people down, why would I? It's a story. Everyone has a right to their feelings and thoughts about it. Like, some of them are WRONG, but... Live and let live? Anyway, my dash is full of fun stuff, so I guess I curated.

Honestly, I hear-tell about lots of SPN negativity, but I have yet to experience it at all, really. I'm just excited to talk about my stories with other people who can't escape it.

Basically, me with SPN:

[copaganda-clobberfest]

WELCOME

TO THE FIRST ROUND OF THE COPAGANDA CLOBBERFEST!

“You know that trope? That one trope *Everyone* hates? The trope in which a well meaning antagonist to our heroes, one looking out for the good of a certain community, suddenly does something horrible and drastic to make not only them, but the ideology they stand for the most villainous of all?”

NOW IS THE TIME TO BATTLE THEM OUT! Like Ken dolls, fighting for survival! Like your Polly pockets discarded in the closet, we’ll see which of these bitches jumped that slippery slope harder! Whose character did numbers on y’all, and blew up a bunch of grandmas and babies and hospitals with it!

ROUND ONE

DAENERYS TARGARYEN from GAME OF THRONES vs PRINCE LOTOR from VOLTRON (LEGENDARY DEFENDER)

Dany propaganda (TW: domestic abuse mention, slavery):

“Sold off as a slavewife to a warlord in another country. Slowly rises up gaining the love and trust of the warlords people, eventually becoming their leader after his death. Goes on to conquer another nation and free all the slaves. Deals with her quickly growing list of real and perceived enemies in increasingly awful ways. More stuff happens. Eventually she makes her play for the throne of Kingslanding and forced a swift surrender… but instead snaps… over…? and instead starts killing everyone in the city indiscriminately because the only way to build her great version of the world everyone who even remotely likes the current one has to die.

And then her sorta bf kills her.

Its kinda funny how the US was also founded on a revolution lead by people with Not Great Morals and its media industry loves to now churn out stories where revolutionary figures turn out to be bad guys, actually, so you shouldn’t revolt and just accept your place in their world. Is this actually a British psy-op to get americans to accept the error in the ways and rejoin the UK?”

“daenerys propaganda: the literal in-text justification d&d gave for dany always being secretly evil and destined to massacre innocents was that she was too mean to the slavers that crucified a bunch of children. so they had this domestic violence survivor die of yet more domestic violence. they couldn't even let her go down in battle, she had to be assassinated by her lover in a moment of physical intimacy. (and tyrion, who literally strangled his gf to death and burned a fleet alive, suddenly became the audience avatar fretting about ethics.) the only woman permitted to retain power at the end of the show (sansa) was the one who said being raped and abused made her strong; dany, who explicitly condemned physical and sexual abuse and took steps to eradicate the perpetrators and break the wheel that crushed the oppressed, had to go crazy and die. the script explicitly condemned what they referred to as "liberation theology." d&d are the ultimate centrists and they turned dany into a fox news caricature of an activist.”

Lotor propaganda (TW: xenophobia):

“He wasn't exactly presented as a straight-up villain initially, more like a rogue agent. He wanted to reform his father's evil empire to be less tyrannical and xenophobic (the 2nd one is especially relevant because he's only half Galra. He went from an enemy of the heroes to an ally, then oops! turns out he's actually been a genocidal mass murderer with a god complex this whole time and then he dies in the most horrible way. It's been a while since I watched the show but I will never stop being mad over how they did my boy dirty.”

Always feel free to rb with more propaganda :)

[thienvaldram]

DW Niche Writing/Recommendation Roundup

Did one of these last year, about six months ago now (more as an ad for my Amended Lives series back then) but figured I should do one again, this time more general.

First of all, my own stuff. No more Amended Lives so far (I'm working on it but I had other ideas). This time we have.

Robert Banks Stewart Doctor meets Gravity Falls

Douglas Camfield Doctor meets Terraria Calamity Mod

Both from a vague DW crossover series idea I had, one that I don't necessarily intend to fully develop but still one I wanted to explore a little.

Then thirdly there's Skyfall

My first full Herrick Doctor story, featuring the return of regenerative dissonance Time Lord Yanis, an attempt to create a character with the condition that isn't just a bunch of cliche 'evil split personality' tropes.

Previously in their fourth incarnation in Conspiracy of Censeron, now returning for their regeneration into their sixth incarnation. Featuring copious EDA references, Raptors, Eldritch Time Lords, lesbians and Tecteun and Rassilon both being awful. (TW: Ableism and predatory animal hunting typical violence).

Speaking of Eldritch Time Lords I also contributed to @eldritchdimensionality with a Holmes Doctor story 'Broken'. Also check the whole thing out, as the other stories in the first issue are fantastic.

Then lastly we have Architects of a Failed World, at the Cheshire House, a part of the Castaways of Ishiok series.

In addition to my own work I also have some recommendations, starting with the Cheshire House (@thecheshirehouse) which has had a lot of stories since I last recommended them. Particularly the start of @theangelshavethephonebox's Zadellin series with 0rigins and the continuation of Plum Pudding's Disparate Minds series. Highly recommend.

Next up, Forgotten Lives Fanfiction. First up with @the-last-teabender, creator of the Hinchcliffe Doctor's contribution to Doctor Who day.

And following up on this is Chris Wing, writer of Hope Springs's Christmas Special.

In addition to this there's the start of the Salem Doctor series, based on my original concept, which itself was based off Jonathan Morris's suggestion, and conceptualized collectively on the Forgotten Lives server as a community characterbuilding project. @thesalemdoctor's incarnation

And that's all for the moment. If you choose to read, or even if you don't read mine but choose to check out one of the recommendations. Thank you.

Till next time. Thien Valdram.

[sunfl0wer-h0ur]

Finn headcanons #3!!

I miss writing sm so im going to start back up with some Finn headcanons YIPPIIEEEEE

☁ sfw(ish)

Tw: Drinking mention also a small SH mention!

❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼

He has a VERY sensitive body

From sides to thighs this man will squeak or whimper if you touch him

I feel like he might have a back tattoo or maybe like a spine tattoo

If he were to have tattoos then it would be an assortment of sigils, flowers, or sun and moon styled things

He hates having to repeat himself multiple times

Not because its annoying he just thinks he's being tricked into being bullied

THE BEST AT HOLDING DRINKS

Speaking of..

He's a sucker for wines

He's doesn't drink too much but when he does he always drinks responsibly

gets very drunk fast

He goes from really happy and silly, to very deep

He fears of grey hair

Like terrified

If you noticed a grey hair on him quickly pull it and say it was a bug

He loves any kind of cat

Bald, long hair, short hair doesn't care loves them all

He likes BIG dogs

Cries when he's frustrated

He has a whole bunch of scrapped love letters for Sunflower in his diary

Sunflower found them and adore them all

Finn was very embarrassed about them but Sunflower comforted him

Catch him watching Max and Ruby

He cares a lot about his skin

*Mumbling to himself* "Ok so we do this sugar scrub first then I get in the shower and wash it off, following my exfoliator soap, after my shower I-"

"Finn!"

"Huh what! Oh sorry dearest I'm already planning tomorrows skincare routine"

No but seriously he knows his stuff

Finn and Roblox bro

He loves Fantasia (Projecting..)

And DTI (Also projecting...)

He's a bit trash but let him cook

Hates to say it but he likes it when you bite him

Yeah it hurts but like...

He's good friends with other florists around the area

Except one...

This one old florist women hates his guts because he tripped on one of her plants and he felt so awful and cleaned it up

What made it worse is that he got scolded even after he cleaned it up

OMG it came to me that Finn would love Bon Iver

He finds night time ambience so soothing

Ik if Finn was an animal he'd be a rabbit but I feel like a deer would work also! (I'm very hyper fixated on deers and rabbits rn)

Don't leave him alone when he's sad I feel like leaving him alone is going to make him feel worse

Instead let him lay on you

Brush or play with his hair

Tell him he's such a good boy and you'd never let go of him

He likes to pinky promise things

Eye kisses giving or receiving <33

Loves to get his eyebrows stroked (sorry if this doesn't make sense)

Also petting his nose

He doesn't hide his hickeys

Unless you're both going to his parents house

Tbh

He has strict religious parents

If he's every overwhelmed his Grandma is the next block over so he will walk over there rain or shine

When he was little I bet he called his Grandma "Mimi"

Fought through depression from his teen years till he got over his toxic relationship

Might delete this headcanon but he has and covers his southern accent

Mimi was definitely living in the countryside till he was born so she moved to watch him

It comes out when he's angry or tipsy

He has scars on his arms and legs from a mix of things

Some are from his childhood clumsiness from tripping to scraping himself on trees

Some are from when he broke up with his ex and he lead to SH as a coping mechanism

He's doing so much better and he's proud of himself for that

Tried grilling

Didn't go well (he made the steak burnt but also raw?)

He sticks to baking and homecooking

I bet he knows how to make a good bread

Ohh man...Finn in a apron

Teaches you how to cook as a way of showing his affection

Spa days wear you both wear face masks do each others nails and gossip

Y'know...silly stuff ❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼

Guys tysm for waiting for a fanfic to post I'm so sorry for leaving but the king of Finn headcanons is back!!