#tw: Suicide mention

[capybonara]

I have waited a long time to write this. I have actively resisted writing this, hoping that, given enough time, it would no longer be necessary. I’d hoped that, given enough time, people would move on, that my own anger would subside.

But they have not moved on. My own anger has not passed. A dear friend of mine by the name of Werewolfsister was horribly treated, and she faced a constant wall of passive aggression to the point that she had to leave entirely.

Both parties have had their say. Now I will say mine. And you might think “Oh god, just let it die,” to which I reply “why are a select few allowed a platform while others are scolded to oblivion?”

I was a third party to this situation who found out, almost as suddenly as my friend, that my presence was unwanted. So to those who publicly picked or “““didnt pick””” a side, I saw a lot of hate towards the friend I do support. And I don't care for it.

With werewolfsister's permission, I am making this a partner to their post. I am not as organized in telling events down to the date, but I am confident in my ability to provide proof where it is necessary.

I’ll start with the basic accusation: Tumblr user kenneduck has claimed that werewolfsister forced them to adapt their trauma into the latter’s comic, Labor of Love. Further, the accuser has claimed that a majority of the story, including a majority of characters, by default including my own, also belonged to Kenneduck.

From her October 12, 2024 post:

With that, let me turn to my own perspective. Let me preempt this by stating that the following information is from my own private conversations with kenneduck. Whether she has shown this information to others or dispensed with it entirely, I do not know. Screenshots supplied will also be the only ones I post out of respect to kenneduck, as the conversations they stem from were often extremely personal.

In mid-September, kenneduck approached me on Discord, stating that they and werewolfsister would work on the comic separately. Werewolf would continue the main story, and kenneduck would be given space to draw specific scenes for Kenne the Zora in a way they saw fit.

By this point, werewolfsister had gone on multiple breaks, preemptively announcing that they would not be speaking to anyone during them. This caused kenneduck to worry, at which point they came to me conveying their worries. I assured them that it was likely simply stress from working on the comic, possibly complicated by other factors we did not know at the time. They then confided in me that they worried they were the cause of pushing werewolfsister away. Kenneduck then informed me that their (kenneduck’s) desire to include personal experiences via Kenne the Zora was taking a toll on their (kenneduck’s) own mental well-being.

I was told by kenneduck themself that Kenne the Zora was given a particular backstory to help process their (kenneduck’s) thoughts on a real life event. When kenneduck disclosed this connection to Kenne the Zora, werewolfsister explicitly decided they could NO LONGER draw this character, as it was so closely tied to something so personal. As explained by Kenneduck, this comic separation was a compromise: it was meant to give kenneduck the freedom to process this event in their own way.

Kenneduck informed me that their (kenneduck’s) circle of friends agreed with werewolfsister’s decision, and that they (said friends) had asked kenneduck to step away as this was causing kenneduck to over think on the matter. Kenneduck informed me they (kenneduck) had not realized they were putting werewolfsister into this situation by having werewolfsister draw Kenne the Zora in the comic.

Upon learning this, I made the offer to speak to werewolfsister on kenneduck’s behalf, and encouraged them to reach out to werewolfsister as well. Kenneduck declined both plans of action, which I understood at the time as it can be scary to perform either one.

I then attempted to do a wellness check on werewolfsister, pointedly avoiding any information kenneduck shared to me. At present, I wince at the timing, because the day after this, werewolfsister announced they would be leaving the zora Discord we mutually participated in. This is no one’s fault: when under high stress, you gotta do what you must to take care of yourself.

Near the start of October, kenneduck approached me a second time, during which I still had no news to relay to them. Armed with slightly better understanding regarding why the comic split was occurring, I encouraged kenneduck, saying that werewolfsister was not acting out in anger.

^ Context: the “drama post” in question was werewolfsister responding to other people’s demands for greater representation of their own characters and insinuated charges of favoritism. Kenneduck made their own post to back werewolfsister up; to the best of my knowledge, this post has since been deleted. The only posts of its former existence are Werewolfsister's comment in their original post and an exchange between Kenneduck and I.

^ Context: I relayed that werewolfsister wasn't replying to comments I made on their page either. I suggested that werewolfsister’s lack of activity wasn’t out of spite, as they queued their pages up most of the time.

^ Context: We discussed what kenneduck’s friends told them about respecting werewolfsister’s decision to split the comic. Kenneduck made a few posts in our group chat at the time, apologizing for over-sharing personal information. This was one of the instances of kenneduck explicitly saying in private, to me, that they were adapting their own trauma for Kenne the Zora and the comic.

Everything I learned about werewolfsister's decision to split the comic came explicitly from Kenneduck. Kenneduck had nothing untoward to say about werewolfsister in these conversations.

Nothing else was said on the matter. Our last exchanges were quite positive; we shared pictures of our cats, they showed me an awesome Bluey plush, and she was sharing progress on a Sidon/Link/Yona piece they were doing. Kenneduck expressed -- what I thought at the time was -- genuine concern for Werewolfsister. Kenneduck also discussed going on their own break to think on how to approach Kenne the Zora's role in the comic.

Days later, I found an announcement via reblog from werewolfsister that kenneduck would not be completing Kenne the Zora’s section of the comic. This was understandable. Werewolfsister then announced they would continue the story, and do their best to do so without shining light on those issues that vexed kenneduck.

Then a switch flipped.

This is when Kenneduck made their post accusing werewolfsister of forcing Kenneduck into using their trauma. All of a sudden, werewolfsister never ASKED for their permission, and that they needed to take the comic down because her trauma was on full display.

Werewolfsister was not the only one blocked and removed. I was also removed from kenneduck’s friend list on Discord. Werewolfsister later discovered kenneduck’s side of their chats were deleted. I assume that's why I was removed as well.

This has been extremely upsetting, especially considering everything was kept private until kenneduck spoke up with a different story. Worse, when werewolfsister spoke up in their own defense, suddenly they were the bad guy for “making this public”. They were blocked. People told them they were no longer allowed to draw their OCs. Someone came to me to insult them, warning “Your characters are going to get ruined too!”

It's not cool.

None of this is cool.

Before this accusation, I had nothing negative to say about kenneduck. I had sympathy towards what they were feeling, and encouraged them to be cautious before sharing personal information. As I said to kenneduck at the time, communication between the two may have helped, but the decision was done. Werewolf's decision to separate the comic did hurt kenneduck’s feelings, but kenneduck themself acknowledged it was for the best as it was for the sake of their mental health and safety. I was given the impression kenneduck accepted and respected werewolfsister’s decision.

From this:

To this:

And one is always welcomed to change their minds. You should always be safe to revoke your consent on something. However, Kenneduck made the decision to broadcast to a public audience with a story entirely different from what was shared with me in private. I don't use this phrase lightly: they weaponized their trauma against werewolfsister.

And it worked.

Werewolfsister has been ostracized ever since. I've suffered blowback myself. Since then, werewolfsister and I have talked about doing our best to press on, but the atmosphere has changed. People who followed or even interacted with us have changed.

It sucks.

Folks prefer to keep quiet and avoid drama. That’s fine when it involves discourse on shipping or which characters are loved or hated. But this deals with deeply personal issues brought into the open, and the actions have affected actual people's lives.

If anyone wants to point fingers then point them at me.

Werewolfsister and I spoke more often after kenneduck made their accusation. They’ve stressed over how to finish the comic. Whether they were going to get more hate for doing so. If I was going to get more harassment just by associating with her. In the end, it was my suggestion that werewolfsister continue the rescue arc of the story. I suggested they either make kenneduck’s characters unrecognizable by darkening their silhouettes OR replacing them with new OCs, but I felt the latter might be disrespectful as it might somehow be interpreted as erasing Kenne the Zora’s presence. I helped write parts of Denouement and gave ideas for the epilogue’s ending.

I say this to waylay any more opinions of how werewolfsister was erasing or ruining specific characters because yes, with months separating their last cameo, werewolf STILL received requests to “no longer” use other players’ OCs as though they’re going to twirl their mustache and ruin said characters for all time.

If you're reading this, I'm not here to stir the pot. This is why it's under a cut: if you're reading this, it's because you chose to.

I'm also not telling people to pick sides. People will follow who they want to follow. That's their prerogative. Kenneduck will live their life and I hope they heal. They will find more friends, who I hope they treat with more kindness and honesty than they did werewolfsister. People will have their opinions, and you can't change minds with posts like these.

But people got hurt by this. Malicious intent was directed at one person, and others followed the example they set.

To anyone who follows me, who has made the decision that werewolfsister is a liar and a manipulator, unfollow me as well. Block me. I don't want anything to do with this two-faced behavior. If kenneduck says what werewolfsister did is true, why haven’t they said the same of me? I was literally in the middle of this.

^ Here I am, spitballing with kenneduck about how Kenne the Zora might be affected by the plot!

Here are other moments where I'm sketching with kenneduck about how Kenne the Zora’s traumas may be affected by the plot! 

Exactly as they did with werewolfsister! How is this any different?

Should these conversations have been kept private? Absolutely, and before kenneduck loosed their accusations, they were. But you can't announce neutrality in something you're not personally involved in, then treat one side badly and act all morally superior because yOu’Ve DoNe A sErViCe.

I originally thought I could keep neutral by staying quiet. I can't, because it would be wrong of me to. People have treated my friend like some villain who is chomping at the bit to destroy their OCs ever since this was made public. For six whole months werewolfsister has been doing free gift art without so much as a thanks from the majority. I am so angry about that. People were excited about receiving her, again, FREE ART - then a public statement by the recipient of six months of free gift art soured the joy of gift art altogether, subjecting us to an atmosphere of “You can't use my character because you'll ruin them! It makes me uncomfortable!”

You know, I’m not just upset at kenneduck. I'm just as upset at how easily it was for other people here to turn on a dime. For people to proudly say “Glad I'm not part of this” and still take sides.

A community involves active work to make people feel welcome. It requires courage to communicate, to find ways to keep the peace with its members, and make sure the community remains a safe space for those within it.

What I saw instead was a popular individual of the fandom using their platform to isolate another. I saw people follow that behavior and they made it known to werewolfsister and I that we were not welcome in this space. That we need to stay in the farthest corner possible and leave everyone alone.

That is clique behavior.

This is not a community. We're definitely not in this together; the majority of people here have been clear on that. The messages sent to me as of late have been clear on that.

There's no debate here: prior to werewolfsister's decision, there was NO animosity between the two. Werewolfsister made a choice she believed would keep her own mental health protected and did her best to respect kenneduck’s.

And for some reason Kenneduck decided to tell a different story, and everyone was content with not hearing our side. When harassment and bullying is happening, it's expected for people to stay quiet about it because it's no one else's problem. We didn't want to cause a fuss so we kept quiet and kept our opinions under read more’s so as not to offend others. I was told when I spoke up about those anons it kept people from wanting to join werewolfsister’s epilogue project because they were also afraid of being harassed. This is why I said there's no community here.

I have experienced harassment in fandom spaces before, and it can be awful, especially when you're led to believe you're alone. But just because I'm experienced doesn't mean these situations hurt any less. This has started to make me spiral in ways I don't want to go back to. I had to go to the ER because the stress was becoming too much that I was showing symptoms akin to a heart attack.

If anyone feels isolated or depressed due to such behaviors please PLEASE reach out to someone. To others, if you see a friend struggling, please lend them your support before it gets to a dangerous point. If you can't find help in the spaces you frequent there is always help in some form.

Werewolfsister decided to leave the fandom space as well as tumblr entirely because of this clown show. I won't be posting on my Tides blog for a while, if at all, because I give up. So congratulations, your precious OCs are FINALLY safe!

Many may not consider werewolfsister as a friend, or even as a kind person, so you better stop looking at me as one too, because I've been mirroring her values since meeting her. I don't care about your opinions on who is right, that you don't like my art, how you're better at dealing with drama, or that you won't follow me. It takes zero effort to NOT be an asshole.

Let me have my peace. My dear friend is gone, so leave me alone too.

My absence will be of no loss to you.

[cinematicnomad]

9-1-1 ▸ 2.06 dosed || 7.09 ashes, ashes

[samgirl98]

DC X DP Prompt #4

It turns out that one of the things Danny inherited from Bruce was his need to make contingency plans.

Or: Danny's family finds out that he has contingency plans for all of them, including if Danny turns evil and how to permanently stop him

Bruce feels a certain way when he finds out his son has a plan to basically commit suicide.

[warblogs17282]

Saw a tweet that said something along the lines of 'If it's hinted at or mentioned that Blitz contemplated suicide at some point in his life in ghostfuckers' and now my brain is just constantly thinking back to Apology Tour and it's imagery.

and the 'Blitzo KYS' merch Wally is selling.

Fully willing to admit that I'm probably overthinking this considering why the party was thrown in the first place but I cannot shake the possibility from my head that this is subtly foreshadowing that Blitz has contemplated suicide at some point in his life, which very well could be revealed in ghostfuckers considering that's all about Blitz's past.

Really hoping I'm entirely wrong about this because idk how I'm gonna react if that ends up getting revealed.

[itbeguilttriptime]

A concept. Another character injects Beetlejuice with his own truth serum.

Beetlejuice: *to Lydia* I've been worried sick about you since that day in the attic when you told me you wanted to get into the afterlife! I caused ninety percent of those hauntings for your show so it would be a success and you'd have another reason to keep on living! I've never been held by a woman and I fantasize all the time about falling asleep in your arms! I dream about drowning in the darkness of your eyes! I love you more than Edgar Allen Poe loved Lenore and I'd let that fucking raven peck out both my eyeballs if it would make you smile! Lydia: O.O Astrid: O.O Delia: O.O Everyone within a fifty mile radius: O.O Beetlejuice: Shit. Did all of that just come out of my mouth?

[awnrii]

more hal because he’s my favourite

[winkreallyisntable]

Something something barney calhoun is hlvrai gordons wife etc etc

[sm-baby]

How has Mei not killed herself/ anyone yet?

She tried that

She already has

Alcohol poisoning... Not that it was on purpose, but she wouldn't have minded to die that way. No one but the other servants cared. The queen would have ABSOLUTELY went " ur not allowed to do that" or " took you long enough to wake up. Youre behind on work.

Her job also involves calling shots on the more... persistent Mistresses.

[panlight]

The other thing about the New Moon timeline and Alice apparently not calling anyone to let them know Bella is alive is like . . . she's the one who can see the future?? She also knows Rosalie and Edward really well just as like, people. Did she not foresee Rosalie calling Edward in either capacity?? Rosalie is not around any werewolves and Jacob isn't around Alice 24/7 in Forks so that's not even any excuse.

16th  (Thurs) – Bella jumps off a cliff alone and Jacob rescues her – Harry Clearwater dies from a heart I attack – Jake and Bella almost kiss – Alice returns. (NM15–16)

17th  (Fri) – Alice and Bella catch up. (NM17)

18th (Sat) – Charlie goes to Harry’s funeral – Edward is told that Bella is dead – Alice and Bella race to Italy to stop Edward from killing himself

PLENTY of time between Alice showing up in Forks and the funeral for Alice to prevent this from happening even if she couldn't see the future.

For the record I don't 'blame' Alice as a character here; I don't think this was a character choice although I suppose you can handwave it that way if you want, like she's so removed from human experience that the first thing ANY human would do in this situation (call home and be like "hey remember how I left in a panic because I saw Bella kill herself? Surprise! She's actually alive.") did not occur to her. This was a plot necessity. I'm fully convinced SM wrote all of New Moon with this Romeo and Juliet miscommunication "one of of them thinks the other is dead" situation in mind. It has to be this way because it's the whole point and Alice has to just stand around like an inactive Sim rather than calling to tell Jasper or Rosalie or anyone else what happened even though she's in pretty close contact with Jasper at every other point after this.

I guess the other explanation is that she DID see this all happening but decided this was the best possible way to get Edward to come home so she just let it all play out?

"I mean sure I could have called and told Rosalie that Bella wasn't dead before Edward finally picked up the phone, but then Edward would just mope for another six to twelve months and I wouldn't get to steal a yellow Porsche, so."

[djarin]

you know what was so important to me about seeing ed spiral from his mental health in this season? his mental illnesses weren’t used for comedic purposes. they weren’t the butt of a joke, they weren’t there to “lighten the mood” by being ridiculed, and we didn’t see a demonization of mental illness. instead, what we got was edward being raw and vulnerable and lost in a way that was purely authentic and true to what he was going through.

all of that, along with the “let’s list the pros and cons of staying alive” is something that is so important to so many of us who have struggled with depression, anxiety, suicide, etc in our own lives. i know for a fact that i’m not the only one who’s had to sit down to think, “what are the good and bad things about staying alive right now?”

ed lists warmth, good food, and orgasms as his pros. “orgasms” is there to give us a good laugh, sure, but guess what? it’s also there because ed, unfiltered and desperate, is blurting out what makes him feel good, and therefore, want to stay alive.

it doesn’t have to be a massive list of pros and cons. sometimes, it’s the simple things that keep us going, and that’s more than enough.

[nytehavyn-circle]

Darkness Hidden

(Open starter for Tolaas' Partners)

(Trigger Warnings for: mention/depiction/description of suicide/murder/death; alcohol abuse; graphic depictions/descriptions of torture; depictions/descriptions of toxic relationships; depression)

Hello Darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping

It had been two weeks or more since anyone had heard from Tolaas. Sometimes when this happened, he would tell those who missed him that he had been extremely busy with a job, or he was visiting the ShadowLands for one reason or another. Sometimes it was the truth. This time it was not. In fact, he hadn't even told anyone before he disappeared. This was uncommon but not rare, it had happened before in the past, but it had been a while this time before the darkness set in. He hadn't even answered his texts or voicemails.

His nightmares had gotten increasingly worse over the last month or two. He'd tried to fight them off - staying up late until he was so tired he couldn't think, and then he passed out, sometimes taking sleeping pills to make him tired enough so he couldn't think, and then falling asleep. But nothing had worked, not even being in the arms of those he loved.

Now, he stood in front of his sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He was still drunk, which partially explained his bloodshot, tired eyes, but the biggest explanation was that the nightmares kept waking him up, and thinking had kept him up, where he had crossed the line from 'tired enough to pass out' to 'too tired to sleep.'

Tolaas stared at his face in the mirror. He looked like he had been sick. And he had been; sick of nightmares, sick of smiling all the time, sick of pretending he was always positive and happy-go-lucky. None of them knew exactly what he lived with. None of them knew because he wore the perfect facade. Oh, he was happy alright, for the most part. Therapy in the past had helped him a bit, and had helped him understand that sometimes actually keeping an honest smile would make said smile an involuntary action on the daily, and smiles meant 'happy.' This wasn't always the case. Neither was 'thinking positive,' not always, anyway.

The facade had started to crack over the last few weeks. He'd felt himself sinking, slowly going down, down under the water until it was above his head, and he was flailing and drowning and no one could see him. For a very long time, he wasn't one to ask for help. With anything. Over the last several years, he began to realize that asking for help wasn't a sign of weakness, that there was actually nothing wrong with asking for help because those who cared, who truly cared, would jump at the chance to help. And they did, with a lot of different things he needed help with.

But not with this. Never with this. No one could help him with the darkness.

He stared even harder at his reflection until he finally brought his fist up and slammed it into the mirror, shattering it, pieces of mirror glass flying everywhere.

The facade was no longer cracked, it had broken in that moment. (Just as it had broken before when his mind became full of the hell that was his life.)

Tolaas ran his hands through his air and burst into tears. He covered his face and fell nack against the bathroom door, slowly sliding down until his ass had hit the floor. The violent sobs that came through wracked his body.

"Monster! Demon! Thing of evil!" the villagers cry out. "Now we will do to you as you have done to us!" Rope tied, stretched taut. Arms and legs spread. Naked body. A whip, unfurled and held up. The sound it made as it hit his naked back echoed in his ears. One, two, three, four lashes... Laughing. Food is being thrown at his head. Five... six... seven... eight more lashes... Fire. A stick on fire. Burning tip pressed against the flesh of his torso. Nine... ten... eleven... twelve more lashings. Blood coating his back, dripping down his legs to the ground. Stoned, rocks flying by him, hitting his naked, vulnerable body, smacking him in the head. Waking up to being tossed in an open grave in the forest. A few shovelfuls of dirt thrown on his body, not caring if he was buried or not. At least the animals would get him.

Tolaas continued to sit there and cry, his body heaved and shuddered. He crawled out of the bathroom and managed to make it to the couch. Empty bottles of Jack were strewn across the floor and many sat on the coffee table. Being what he was, he needed more to get drunk than a human could. So, he'd been drinking more than a human would over the last couple of weeks. He picked up one half-full bottle and took several gulps from it. He had been living on take-out and Jack Daniels the last couple of weeks.

He leaned back against the couch, bringing one leg up to rest on the table in front of him. Several bottles clattered to the floor as he moved his foot on the table.

His eyes closed. Tears still streaked down his cheeks. His mind was flooded again with images.

Images of him in the bathtub. Cliche, of course, but that's how it is. He looks down at his wrist and the blood streaming from the smooth, vertical wound. It didn't hurt. He'd been beaten, stabbed, tortured in his life, all of it hurt. Not this. He'd had his heart broken several times, and each time hurt more than cutting his wrists did. Strange, that. The water turns from a light pink color, to a dirty coppery color. He slinks down into the water, head just barely above it. He feels tired, sleepy. His eyelids are heavy and all he wants to do is close them. To close them and fall into the abyss. He wonders what he'll find behind the curtain. Will it be a small man manipulating everything without knowing much, or will it be echoes of those from his past, those whom he'd loved, or possibly saved that had passed by now? He didn't know but he was surprisingly eager to find out. He allows his eyes to fall closed. There's a light shining in his eyes, people talking, a beeping sound, more talking, people excited. Demon, angel, some humans. Then Terran is there, he recognizes the face. Is he here, too, beyond? He wakes up in a hospital bed and looks around. His wounds are bandaged. He supposes he should be grateful, but he isn't sure if he is or not.

Tolaas continued to lay back and drink. He wanted to be numb, to not feel. Possibly he wanted to die, but he didn't know right at the moment. Probably not, because there were too many people that depended on him, and counted on him. "Hero," some of them would cry. Tolaas wanted to argue, to scream that he wasn't a hero, that he was a monster atoning for his mistakes. That they shouldn't applaud him for what he's done, because it was something he needed to do.

Some people loved him, and their images ran through his head. Mori, Anne, Rebecca... Tolaas loved them, too, so much. So very much. He needed to stay for them. But they probably shouldn't love him, he thought. Not with what he'd done in his past. The hate he held in his heart centuries ago. The way he'd hurt and killed people before he began to understand. The way he hurt and killed people in battles and wars after he'd began to understand. One thing he couldn't wrap his mind around at the moment was exactly why his partners loved him like they did. He loved them with everything he had in him, but he was a monster, and he didn't understand why they loved him. If anything, he probably should have been burned at the stake, or dismembered and scattered across the countryside so very long ago.

Over the many, many years, he'd made a conscious and significant effort to change, to be better, to try to make other people's lives better.

But sometimes, he didn't believe he deserved the same. Hell, he wasn't worthy of people like Mori and Anne. They saw more in him than he saw in himself. Because the darkness he'd experienced centuries ago, was still there, hiding, hiding and waiting. And he was scared of what would happen if he ever let it go.

Over the years, he'd tried cutting his wrists again, but either he didn't cut them deep enough or someone had found him before it was too late; he'd tried pills, but always puked them up before they could really take effect; hell, he even tried putting a bullet through his skull before, but they were duds. All of them. More often than once, he tried to get himself killed during a battle or a war... someone either always saved him, or his saving other people would somehow take him out of the danger zone. Something was keeping him here, he'd come to believe. The question was why? Why the hell was he so fucking important? And everybody he'd met and gotten close to believed he was, too. In some way, somehow, he was important.

Most days, he was thankful and glad to be alive. Other days, he felt as if he was living a nightmare. Sometimes, he felt as if he were living a lie, and if the truth ever came out he'd end up completely alone. And he'd deserve it.

One thing was certain - he would make sure he died before he ever let that darkness hurt anybody he loved.

A heavy knock at the door woke him from his stupor, but he was still shitfaced. He kicked some bottles out of the way and stumbled to the door. He yanked it open and stared. "Yer not the Italian I ordered," he said thickly. "Why er ya here?" he asked, annoyed.

[shitposting-fox]

Some dandadan notes that aren't as explicit in the anime (a few friends didn't pick up on it immediately):

- Acro Silky's spirit was originally a sex worker (hotel room, shower in the distance, naked upon waking up, money on the shelf)

- That dancing scene? The one that's super pretty? Yeah, she's jumping off the roof (roof tiles seen, the blurred city lights, single frame of her jumping, the transition of stars to city lights)

[cinematicnomad]

THE TERROR ▸ 1.10 we are gone

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Actually hate seeing people call Sakumo a bad father because he took his life.

Like obv that’s not a great moment and traumatized his son deeply, but he’s still a good father. He still loved Kakashi deeply, wanted what was best for him, supported him, trained him, and generally just adored his son

None of that goes away because of how his life ended

He doesn’t become the worst father ever for being unable to force himself to keep going when the entire village turned against him.

[breathalyzerfail]

Hey y’all. Remember how Sam’s old character had two names ‘Nott the Brave’ and ‘Veth Brenatto’ that are anagrams for each other?

Just gotta say, the letters in BRAIUS DOOMSEED can be rearranged to spell —

ASMODEUS BRODIE

Merriam-Webster helpfully clarifies that ‘brodie’ is another word for a boner.

For real. It says so, right there.

Onto the crazy speculation, a ‘brodie’ or ‘to do a brodie’ means to take a dangerously risky or suicidal leap.

Maybe something monumentally crazy like setting aside phenomenal cosmic power to get past the Divine Gate and take direct action in Exandria?

[kaeyachi]

So...I finished the Arlecchino story quest...

Spoilers below!

TW: Mentions of Suicide, Child Experimentation, Child Abuse, and Murder/Death

This is, by far, the best story quest I have ever done!

First of all, CHILDE?! CHILDE ESCAPING HIS PERSONAL AMBULANCE TO SNEZHNAYA JUST TO COME BACK TO FONTAINE TO ASK SKIRK A QUESTION? Bro is so funny, please-

please save him.

Wait, actually, yeah please do save him. Pulcinella and Pantalone are both plotting in the background, and they got Childe involved...

I also loved the children! Look at how terrifying they are! They're my absolute faves!!

Lyney cementing the reason as to why Arlecchino chose him as the next King is wonderful to see as well. For some time, I thought Freminet and Lynette had a shot, even with reading their lore. What I have failed to realize is that Lyney really is the inspiration for all of the people in the House of the Hearth. His frustrated and disappointed spiel about Freminet not trusting him with Clervie struck me to the heart. This is an older brother at work here people!

Also if I had a nickel every time a cryo younger brother hid a dangerous secret from his pyro older brother which got them into an argument once the truth came out, I'd have 2 nickels ✌️ (somehow gave me war flashbacks to a scene that doesn't even exist lmao)

LYNETTE IS THE FUNNIEST SIBLING BTW. SHE'S MY QUEEN FOR THIS.

Clervie! Our dearest! I'm not fully sure what part in her design did it, but she barely looks like an NPC somehow. Like, yes, this is still an NPC base model, but... is it perhaps the hair? And the extra lashes??

Also, her calling Arlecchino "Perrie" made me sob. I wasn't ready to hear nicknames!!

The mention of Snezhnayan auroras also made me sob again as well. You know what? This entire thing made me sob.

Clervie's dread and horror at the thought of her own mother, her unrelenting spirit that kept her going in her fight for her fellow peers freedom despite the abuse that she will receive, and her unfulfilled dreams repeatedly being mentioned throughout this quest was heartbreaking.

I do have to say- the animations they released for Arlecchino helped a lot with the emotions we are supposed to feel for this quest. Not only was that good Advertising and promotion for the Arlecchino banner, it also set up the plot that would have not been well presented ingame had they chose to do that instead.

Crucabena and Clervie part of this quest were not the only ones mentioned in this quest, but also that damn dude that she killed with her heels! I personally like the way they released all those animations because the quest feels more emotional and alive now, and we could follow with the story better than before (and it effectively increased the hype)

Speaking of more alive, the facial expressions have definitely improved! This quest had them utilizing various expressions well, specifically for the playable characters, so, again, this really helped with the feel of the quest.

Additionally, adding a picture to scenes also set the tone really well. It's not that pictures have never been included in quests before, but the way these were framed(?) made it look way better than the ones before.

By the way...is it just me? Or did Paimon's voice somewhat mellow out for this quest? I had recently played some other story and world quests, and Paimon's EN voice is admittedly high-pitched and painful to hear in those, but for this quest, it's as if her voice was toned down (like Mondstadt Paimon, but with current Paimon energy). I'm hoping this was them taking the criticism from past and adjusting their instructions to Paimon's VA accordingly, because I loved Paimon's voice in this quest (that or I'm delulu)

Quick lore tidbits before I go back to gushing about this quest:

1. Arlecchino confirmed not from Fontaine (like I legit thought she may be Khaenri'ahn due to the blood moon thing she has going for her, but it's nice to confirm her non-Fontainian status)

2. Crucabena was the one who had a deal with Dottore on sending members of the HotH to him for experimentation. Anyone who was physically impaired or left alive after a duel to death are automatically sent to him. Clervie has described this as a fate worse than death... Peruere rejected Dottore's partnership offer once she became the next knave. Also, Crucabena used Clervie as an "example" for those who wish to escape, meaning Clervie received the most abuse (which apparently worsened as the years went by). Clervie lost hope sometime along the way and was basically suicidal as well by the time she and Arlecchino had their duel... Her mindset by that time is that the only hope for freedom to her is death. The popular theory of Clervie letting Arlecchino kill her is proven in a horrifying way with this discovery... (yes, she wanted Arlecchino to be the king, but at the same time, she took this situation as a chance to hit 2 birds with 1 stone)

3. Project Stuzha is apparently something highly dangerous, and Pulcinella and Pantalone are trying to get Childe and Arlecchino involved (Childe was told to aide the project by Pulcinella, while Arlecchino says she doesnt want the HotH to be involved in it)

4. Here is me reannouncing that I am in fact taking the L on the Freminet and Crucabena situation. Basically, the timeline is that at age 16, Clervie dies, and we are left with a 1 year time period for a 6 year old Freminet to enter under Crucabena (I'm guessing this is either a retcon or a means to hide the Arlecchino plot by not having them directly say mother in Freminet's character story 4). After that said 1 year, Peruere kills Crucabena and has spent several months in Snezhnaya before reviving the House of the Hearth and adopting Lyney and Lynette (perhaps the children of Crucabena's HotH simply stuck together during that time)

Basically, yes, Arlecchino is in her mid-20s. Not my personal cup of tea, but hey, genshin ages are confusing most days (Ayato is older than her, and Ayaka may actually be older than her as well... ugh I need a moment please... I MAY BE THE SAME AGE AS HER. NO-)

5. Freminet used to also call Lyney "brother". What changed that, I'm not sure (and if I had a nickel...), but the thought of baby Freminet following around big bro Lyney and big sis Lynette makes my heart melt. Freminet actually cried after Lyney basically told him how important Fremi is to him, so whoever made Freminet think otherwise... 😡 they better square up because we ride at dawn

ok back to me gushing

THE BOSS FIGHT? IT WAS SO COOL! It was beautifully animated, and the fact that they added this at the end?

The fear on the traveler's eyes upon realization of what true power Arlecchino held was amazing imo. We canonically cannot defeat Arlecchino in her boss fight! She will be a weekly boss that we can defeat, but in actuality, we really cannot beat the number 4 of the Fatui Harbringers.

We now have actual proof that harbringers 1-4 are not within our capabilities to challenge, and to add to that horror, this is us fighting Arlecchino with Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet. This is also actual proof that we, the traveler, cannot defeat a ton of other characters as well! (were cooked if we never get a power boost and plot armor✌️)

Also let me sneak in this picture:

Cunty as fck. Powerpuff girls energy. They're the Heathers, and we, the traveler, are Veronica.

And finally, the last part of my commentary that cemented this quest as my top 1:

Everything Arlecchino has done for the House of the Hearth, it was all thanks to Clervie and her dreams.

Arlecchino has shaped the HotH into a more honest relationship between her as the father and them as her children. Everything Clervie hated about the old HotH is now nonexistent in this version.

The children could be set free.

Duels are not to death.

They will not be sent to their doom if they lose.

This is everything that Clervie dreamed of, and this is everything Clervie tragically never got to see and experience because she lost all hope.

Clervie's story ended in tragedy, but Peruere lived and breathed Clervie's dreams for her anyway. Seeing the aurora was the start of Peruere finding the goal of living Clervie's dream, and now, Arlecchino strives to do her best to see those dreams come to fruition.

And the qualities that Peruere admired in Clervie are the same qualities that made her want Lyney to become the next king. Hopeful, caring, protective, passionate, and full of conviction. Lyney will take the mantle and live and breathe for Clervie's and Peruere's dreams someday.

Honestly, I have more to say, but I think this is a good place to stop for now. The dynamics of all these characters have made this experience worthwhile, and I hope that genshin continues with this sort of style in the future. Here's to more amazing stories from genshin!

Bonus screenshot while we are still here: