#tw// child mariage

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for "defending a pedo"

tw for pedophilia and child abuse

(⬆️ to find later)

this happened while ago

i (20F) was talking to a friend about weird life experiences. i was just returned from visiting my grandparents so i told the story about the neighbor that i had there

for context: i live in eastern europe, and for most of my childhood i lived back and forth between the city and the countryside. the countryside in the region im from and this particular village is tough. im talking no running water/ the toilet is in back yard, only one house out of 5 has an internet connection, child labour on the fields, the only school went up to only 8th grade, etc. not the most remote of villages but far far off any "modern society" standards.

during the half of the year where i was at my grandparents up until i was around 12, I had a neighbor my age that i used to play with. she was significantly poorer than us, objectively. while my grandparents allowed me to play with her, they wouldn't like me going to her house instead because of the living conditions. i have gotten fleas from her before and in general the smell and conditions. they also didn't like her because she would try to steal stuff, so i wasn't ever allowed to invite her inside, but they've gotten over this because she was just a kid. her father passed when we were young and her mother is a severe alcoholic and just an abusive monster. she was mostly taken care off by her godmother while her mother beat her, stole her allowance, sent her off to work to the neighbors and do a lot of chores kids shouldnt do etc. before you say "why didnt anyone call child protective services" read again the context this was all happening in. we did our best to help her, once i stopped going to my grandparents we'd ocasionally send her my old clothes that didn't fit me anymore bc her mother refused to buy her clothes. it was geniunely heartbreaking to see because she tried her best to be loved by her mother and to help her. trying to buy her gifts, to be obedient, to take more of the workload, etc.

as i started properly living in the city (500km away) we drifted apart heavily. we simply lived such complete different lives it was hard to talk to her about anything outside of basic niceties. i still cared about her, she is smart and geniunely pushed so hard to go to highschool in the nearest city which is 20km away despite her mother. she was always positive and optimistic and had an insane work ethic. i respected her and wished she had gotten the privilege i had of leaving the village and getting a life in the city but alas.

here's where the "conflict" is: when i was 18 (and she was too) i have heard from my grandparents that she's pregnant. they mentioned it off in passing so i asked them to elaborate bc that was complete news to me. they elaborated that when she was (i think) 17 she met this guy who was 26, they became a couple, and now they waited until she was of legal age to get married. and now she's pregnant. then they told me some stuff that happened pre-mariage, more of her mother's abuse and the likes. they also mention having met the guy and he seemed like he geniunely cared about my neighbor

i felt conflicted on this. on one hand, the age gap is fucked up plain and simple. on the other hand, she finally had her ticket to escape from her mother and her life and to move to the city and i was happy for her. on the other, being pregnant at 18 is insane to me. on the other hand, despite the grossness of the age gap, if the guy is decent its still better than what she would've dealt with if she stayed even longer with her mother. this year, while visiting my grandparents, she came over to visit with her kid and husband and we talked. she seemed geniunely happy. the guy is nice, the kid is healthy, love and pampered, and she finally has some meat on her bones and color in her face. i obviously dont know and cant know what their life is like in the privacy of their own home but compared to the girl i knew before all of this she was doing a lot better. she started a cosmotology school and is soon going to start working. im happy for her, i wish she didnt have to end up being pregnant and married at 18, but i was still happy for her.

everything i said here i told more or less verbatim to the friend i mentioned in the begining. their takeaway was that i was defending the actions of this guy, that i should be even more visibly digusted, and that i support abusive men because i didnt hate their relationship. i didnt know what to even reply to that, as they went off calling me disgusting, calling my village and culture that "allowed" this mariage to be socially acceptable "barbaric" and that i should've spoke up about it. i tried to reiterate my point and clarify that i am digusted by the age gap but the situation my neighbor in was so fucked that you couldnt really do much. they didn't reply, and i haven't heard from them since (idm, we were never really close)

but now im wonder. AITA for seeing this situation the way i do? should i have done more to help her or talk about it?

What are these acronyms?

[theamericangirlscout]

#goldengirls:  Fight for Girls

For her Gold Award, Sakshi S. from Girl Scouts of Northern California, created Project GREET (Girl Rights: Engage, Empower, Train), which engages and educates audiences around the world on the root causes of  human trafficking and child marriage, the staggering prevalence of the problem, and ways to stop it—all while promoting gender equality.

Her curriculum, “Guidelines to Rehabilitate Young Trafficked Girls,” provided tools, including a website, documentary film, YouTube playlist, and training materials, for crucial job training programs to financially empower both previously trafficked girls and those still at risk. These guidelines, along with her documentary film (for which Sakshi interviewed activists, lawyers, and social workers from around the world), website, and YouTube playlist were distributed to more than 59 partner organizations worldwide and many United Nations delegates from countries such as Thailand, Cuba, Cameroon, Pakistan, Bhutan, Jordan, and more.

Project GREET has already impacted, directly or indirectly, approximately three million people, and will continue to spread awareness and provide urgent solutions for girls at risk of child marriage and human trafficking around the world.

Q: Why did you choose this topic for your Gold Award project? A: Since freshman year, I have been involved with my local Amnesty International group and my High school’s Girls Learn International (GLI) club. Through my work with Amnesty International, GLI, and through facts I have heard about forced child marriages and girls being trafficked, I understood deeply how the two vile practices directly violate girls’ rights.

However, most individuals cannot relate to these issues. I strongly believe that almost every social injustice or global issue disproportionately hurts women and girls. Being an action oriented activist, I started an Amnesty International chapter at my high school and also led the GLI chapter at my school.

I undertook this Gold Award project to address these global vile practices one step at a time.

Q: What kind of impact has resulted from your project, and how will it be sustainable? A: My project focuses on root causes, trends and key identifiers of trafficking, child marriage and gender inequality. Hence, its educational tools will be useful even 15 years later, unless these vile practices are entirely eradicated by then.

My project is a framework for education and empowerment and not a one-time event. To sustain Project GREET’s impact after initial film screenings and distribution, I used an automated calendar service to send reminder emails on Women’s Equality Day (August 26), International Day of the Girl (October 11), and International Women’s Day (March 8) until 2033. Project GREET’s partner organizations will also be reminded to screen my film and share the website's educational resources on the aforementioned dates, though they are encouraged to use them more often. Additionally, an email will be automatically sent at the beginning of every month, detailing a women’s rights initiative that historically took place that month, and a supplementary reminder to use parts of my resources to engage and mobilize communities. Since these organizations already have detailed take action plans, this reminder will help them use my project to train different communities on trafficking, child marriage and gender inequality.

All partner organizations have expressed interest in using my curriculum to expand their

outreach. As of late 2017, Amnesty International Burkina Faso and Brazil chapters have decided to add a vocational training program for trafficked girls, and Girls Learn International is happy to add Project GREET resources to its chapters’ curriculum for U.S. high school students to use as an advocacy tool.

Additionally, the Catholic Network to End Human Trafficking will host a vocational training fair for potential trafficking victims in mid-2018. The Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) is considering creating a vocational training to protect against trafficking (for both boys and girls). They are using my curriculum to plan their program. All the United Nations delegates have agreed to further expand the outreach of my project and reuse it with an objective to stop these horrid practices.

My website and curriculum continue to be used to increase awareness, garner support from better-equipped communities, connect individuals to activist Non-governmental Organization or NGOs, and empower previously trafficked girls and girls at risk to leave the vicious cycle of dependency on their trafficker.

Q: What have you learned from completing your project, and how has your Gold Award prepared you for the future? A: I have gained more confidence to be a risk-taker, a trait that will help me in my future to form connections, thereby complementing my current skills.

When I interviewed experts from across the globe on the topics of child marriage, trafficking, gender equality, governance and film-making, I learned that a leader continually learns and reflects.

Previously, I had never delegated so many tasks, let alone to many adults. I had primarily communicated with peers in past leadership roles. So, through this project, I’ve significantly improved my leadership and team building skills.

During this project, I also built relationships with individuals from different religions, ethnicities, cultures and communities around the world. This has inspired me to choose a job in the future with an international aspect that will immerse me in different cultures.

I also learned new technical skills like website building, movie making, and video editing, improved research skills and became an expert on trafficking, child marriage and gender inequity. Through the extensive use of Excel and email archiving methods to stay organized, and PowerPoint presentations to pitch my project to team members, I was able to manage a large number of people, and thus vastly bettered my record-keeping and organization skills. These skills have given me a new outlook.

As a future leader, I hope to become more compassionate and gain greater perspective from others to tackle pressing global issues such as climate change, lacking representation of women and minorities, war and poverty, unscrupulous business practices, and social evils beyond trafficking and child marriage.

Q: What have you learned from being a Girl Scout? A: Girl Scouts has given me the confidence to learn, lead, and serve, and the courage to take physical and operational risks.

[atticusm]

*clears throat* hi, is this thing working? i’m candy, broadcasting from aest and i go by she/her pronouns. may i present my baby atticus! i did not intent for this introduction to get as long as it has, so i am sooOOOooo sorry about that. in short, this is my kindergarten teacher that takes a while to warm up to people but likes to talk ... take that as you will. he likes to have fun when he’s in the mood and loves his job and will do anything for his loved ones. give this a like if you’d like to plot and i’ll head to your dms, or hmu either or! stats, wanted connections and all that jazz to come i’m just to excited. ENJOY :’) @mapleviewstarters​

full name : atticus james maitland  nickname(s) : ace , atta , atti ( rare ) birth date : october twenty-seven zodiac sign : scorpio age : twenty-seven   gender : cis male pronouns : he / him / his sexual orientation : bisexual romantic orientation : biromantic education : high school diploma , bachelor of arts in elementary education , teaching license/certification

tw: infidelity. 

BACKGROUND

born three years after his older brother, atticus was brought into what seemed to be a happy, stereotypical “ everyday ” family  - yet by the age of two karissa and heath maitland’s mariage was anything but a joyous one. to the outside world the maitland family were the one’s that would be there whenever someone needed a helping hand, would be the first to put their hand up for community activities, be seen smiling and have no qualms. behind closed doors, however, that was not the case. 

atticus grew up with his mother and father arguing profusely or even barely speaking to each other on a regular basis. there were times that they got along, of course, but atticus always looks back on his childhood filled with tension. like he was walking on eggshells. the most he had fun with his family was when they went on holidays or were out and about in general, simply because his parents would put on an act. dare anybody in mapleview know what was going on between them. 

when atticus began to find his voice, he began to step in when his parents would argue; telling them to stop though it would only get him so far. sometimes they wouldn’t hear him when he was very young, or they would demand him go to his room and they were having an adult discussion. as time went on, karissa would back down and she, atticus and his brother would often go for a walk together. they would often talk about everything about anything, would find something to do together and she soon became his favourite person. 

when it came to school, he went through phases of loving it, then hating it and then coming around to loving it again. this didn’t change much all the way through to the end of high school. there was a lot he liked about school as he got older - mainly because he could get out of the house and talk to people, find new things to do and explore new interests. some interests his parents wouldn’t be too happy to hear about, like getting his first stick and poke tattoo at sixteen in his best friends basement.

around the start of his final year of high school, a fight between karissa and heath broke out as per normal in the early hours of the morning. it had woken atticus from the slamming of doors and screaming between them, but what took him from his bed was the sound of their family car leaving the driveway. he doesn’t ever remember seeing his mother cry before that point, and seeing her sitting on the back porch in the moonlight trying to muffle her crying broke him. 

turns out heath had been had been having an affair, and it wasn’t the first time he had cheated on karissa. it had happened when he was seven, though they had agreed to work through it for the two boys - much to atticus’ disgust. he sat with her that night, and although she didn’t want to to begin with, she let him comfort her and she talked about it all to him. 

by the end of his senior year, his parents had were living in separate houses and filling for divorce. and atticus was all for it as much as it hurt him. he knew it would be for the best. they couldn’t stay together any longer and the fact they stayed together for him and his brother riddled him with guilt. not only did he feel guilty for being the reason they stayed together, he also felt bad for how people would’ve seen their family after the divorce was finalized. 

COLLEGE/TEACHING

atticus went straight to college, not wanting to muck around and waste time in getting his degree. he studies hard, but that didn’t mean he didn’t party hard. one third of college was spent drunk/hungover, another was spent with his head in the books and the other was on practical work placement. the minute he stepped into a classroom on his student teaching placement he knew there was no turning back ( not that the debt would be a deterrence ). 

he graduated at twenty-two, spent one school year as a teaching assistant at the elementary school and applied the year of his twenty-forth birthday. luckily, he got the job as a kindergarten teacher. this will be his third year teaching kindergarten. 

atticus has always loved children and has always been interested in the idea of teaching, specifically younger children. he loves always learning new things, which teaching can certainly do for him, but mainly he wants to be able to impact the lives of children in a positive way and make a difference. children are the leaders of tomorrow and if he can make that difference, make a child smile or make coming to school fun, then he feels like he’s accomplished something in his life. he knows that he remembers his teachers that made him feel like he could do anything and be who he wanted to be. not only that, but he certainly needed a positive adult figure at that age when home life was filled with such tension.  

PRESENT

at the moment, atticus is renting a nice little house in chestnut drive while he saves for his own house. he is very comfortable with who he is and whoever thinks otherwise is free to their opinion, but he doesn’t care for it. 

he is not on speaking turns with his father, and hasn’t been since mid college. he would rather chew off his own arm than speak to him. atticus is well aware he is holding a gruge, but he doesn’t care; maybe in ten years time he’ll loosen up but not any time soon. thankfully, heath moved out of town so not speaking to him makes it easier.

this is all i have for now but let’s build on this by plots!

PERSONALITY

atticus can have a lot of fun, you just have to get him in the right mood. he won’t go out for night on the town if he’s feeling low because he’s just going to have a depressive come down and how self destructive he can be. he had his reckless days, and he’s more aware of the consequences his actions cause. 

with that being said! he’s very social, loves to talk as long as it’s not about himself too deeply. will be that guy that won’t leave you sitting alone and will engage in conversation with anyone about almost anything.

his moods can be very up and down, leaving him to be very unpredictable. one week he’ll be very happy and cheery and the next he’ll be extra reserved, keeping to himself and his thoughts. 

atticus keeps people at a distance and will be very suspicious of those he doesn’t know. there are times he honestly wishes he could be a mind reader because it would put him at ease ( at least a little bit ). it takes him a long time to warm up to people and when he does, he forms very deep connections with them. he has a lot of people he knows, but few close friends. 

touching on that, he will do just about anything for those he cares for. he is vengeful, cunning and will bide his time to take out his payback if need be if someone hurts his loved ones. he will always keep his job in the back of his mind, and if he needs to, he will get someone to do his dirty work for him ( don’t come at me for it ). when he cares for you, you’re basically like family to him. 

he is a very caring, loving gentleman and affectionate deep in his core. whenever a child comes in upset, after making sure the class is working away in groups, he’ll talk to them. or whenever they’re hurt, he’s the first one they call over. in his personal life, atticus is definitely the person you can ring in the middle of the night if you need help and he will be there one he’s made a quick instant coffee for the both of you. 

very very passionate about his job! atticus stays up late some nights looking for new work ideas, stays back late to hang up artwork, is in early more often than not to make sure the classroom is set up just right. 

he loves to express himself through his clothes; wearing colours and patterns and flared pants. much like harry but tries not to go too over the top for the workplace. catch him after work showing off those tattoos ( that i will write about on his stats page ) with low cut tops and patterned vests, or silk pants, ruffled blouses. that is where his money goes.