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pedrospatch · 1 year

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a safe haven l five

Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: You and Ellie have a talk outside your house in the middle of the night and you discover her secret; Joel asks you one more time to tell him to back off and you don’t comply.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (TW) mention of reader’s injuries from the previous chapter (very minimal use of color description, i try to keep it was vague as possible), mentions of domestic violence, talk of possible infertility, pregnancy loss, reader describes her miscarriage (mention of cramping/bleeding), infedility. SMUT. fingering, oral sex (f receiving).

Word Count: 7.5k

You stare up blankly into the pitch black darkness of your bedroom—at Luke’s request, you’d drawn the linen curtains over the window, keeping out the moonlight so it wouldn’t disturb his slumber. Unable to see the hour on your watch, you can’t be too sure as to what time it is, but you’re fairly certain it’s well past the middle of the night, possibly even past the earlier hours of the morning. The harder that you try forcing yourself to fall asleep, the more you find yourself tossing and turning under the covers in frustration. It’s beginning to break what little sanity you have left and eventually, you realize it’s better just to give up on sleep altogether.

Luke is laying beside you, although he’d rolled over onto his side with his back to you. He had gone straight to bed after dinner while you’d been washing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen and you couldn’t have been more grateful. You often have very little choice but to fulfill your wifely duties in the bedroom, but lately, Luke had been so tired that he hadn’t even bothered with you, and for that, you’d also been grateful. You had grown to loathe whenever he touched you, it disgusted you whenever he would kiss you or put his hands on you in an intimate manner—you couldn’t even stand it when he so much as breathed in your direction.

Being careful not to wake him, you swing your legs over the side of the mattress and climb out of bed, quietly padding your way over into the bathroom. Closing the door, you flip on the lights and take a look at yourself in the large, oval shaped mirror hanging on the wall above the porcelain sink. You begin to silently inspect your reflection, silently praying that you’d somehow made it through another incident with Luke unscathed. Though your face still stings, thankfully no mark from the blow had been left behind—the same can’t be said for your upper arm. Your skin is blemished, soft flesh tender and irritated from the iron grip he’d had on you earlier in the kitchen. It’s splotched, and the harder you stare at it, the easier it is to make out the shape of his fingerprints, an injury you can’t exactly blame on running into the door or an accidental kick from a horse.

It would be hell having to wear a shirt with longer sleeves to cover yourself up in this heat while working outside in the paddock and inside the stables—the mere thought of it alone makes you sweat. Either that or you can hide away at home for a few days until the marks heal, or at least start to fade. It wouldn’t be the first time you’d have to pretend to be sick and miss your work duties long enough for an injury to heal.

You take the thin, cotton gray robe hanging from a hook on the bathroom door and tug it on over your sleepwear before turning off the lights and stepping out of the bathroom. Brushing past your bed, you slip out of the bedroom. You’re careful to be quiet as you swiftly make your way downstairs and dip out through the front door and onto the porch. During the day, the weather is scorching, but evenings aren’t quite as bad—you wrap the billowy fabric of your robe around yourself as you sink down, taking a seat on the top step of the porch.

“Fuck,” you mutter softly.

Covering your face with both hands, you shake your head as you will yourself to keep it together—you fail at holding back the incoming tears. You curse again, angry at yourself for crying over Luke. Bastard doesn’t deserve a single tear, and yet, the number of them you’d shed over him in the last couple of years would be enough to power the hydroelectric dam outside the town’s walls.

You lift a hand to your mouth and muffle your sobs, but one or two slip out into the silence of the night. Not that it matters, because no one’s around to hear them. Besides the patrolmen working the wall on the opposite end of the settlement, everyone is at home, fast asleep in their beds. No one in their right mind was up at this hour if they didn’t have to be. Or so you’d thought.

The familiar sound of Ellie’s voice saying your name startles you, prompting you to let out a loud, audible gasp as your head snaps up and whips to the side. Instinctively, you reach up and quickly, almost furiously, wipe at your eyes with the sleeve of your robe. “Ellie?” you say her name in a confused, questioning manner as she approaches. Though your voice is thick with your emotions, your concern for her is still evident in your tone. “What are you doing outside at this time of night? What’s the matter? Is everything alright?”

“I couldn’t really sleep, so I decided to take a stroll. Wanted to get some fresh air,” she says. She draws closer to you and in the soft, dim glow of the porch light, she notices the tear stains that streak the sides of your face. “You know, I thought I heard someone crying and for a minute, I could’ve sworn I was losing my fucking shit or something. But I guess not.” Pausing, she shoves her hands into the packets of her plaid pajama pants. “You okay? And before you lie to me and say that you’re fine, just know that I’m not blind and I’m as hell not fucking stupid, either.”

You could have laughed—you actually almost do.

The girl’s too smart for her own good.

“Mind if I sit with you?” Ellie asks, gesturing with a nod of her head to the spot beside you.

You nod and as she sits down, your hand wraps itself around your sore arm. It’s not like she can see it through the sleeve of your robe, but it’s a force of habit. Hiding this, concealing that—covering it all up.

It’s wired into your brain.

Ellie pulls her hands out of her pockets and brings one of them onto your bare knee in a soft, light slap. “Alright, princess. Fess up.” She’d pinned you with that nickname since the night she had seen you in a dress at the party. Nudging your side with her elbow, she continues to say, “Talk to me. What happened?”

“Ellie—” You abruptly stop, realizing it’s a waste of breath trying to convince her that nothing is wrong. You’d gotten to know just how stubborn that she could be. Exhaling a sigh of defeat, you confess, “I had a fight with Luke.”

“What did he do?”

Perplexed, you turn and raise an eyebrow at her. Ellie still hadn’t had the chance to meet Luke, and after what he’d said about her, you had every intention of keeping it that way—you want him to stay far, far away from her. Still, her assumption about him being the one at fault catches you off guard. It makes you wonder just how observant the teenager really is and whether or not she has any preconceived notions about your marriage. “What makes you think that it was him? How do you know it wasn’t my fault?”

Ellie scoffs, “Please. What on earth could little miss perfect possibly do wrong?”

Another one of her silly nicknames for you.

Unable to help yourself, you crack a small smile.

You release a breathy little laugh and feel another tear slide down the side of your face. Reaching up, you wipe it away with the back of your hand. “I’m not perfect, Ellie. I’m far from it, actually,” you tell her, quietly. “I haven’t always been the best wife—definitely not a perfect one, that’s for damn sure. You might not believe me, but I’ve made my fair share of mistakes in the past, and those mistakes really caused a rift between us that we were never quite able to repair.”

Her eyebrows knit together. “Aw, come on. What could you have done that was so fucking terrible?”

You sigh.

“When my father got sick, I let myself drift away. I just had so much on my plate between learning how to take care of the horses and looking after my father as his health deteriorated. It was so overwhelming and I just—I shut Luke out.” You don’t have the slightest clue as to why you’re confessing any of this to a fifteen year old, but it eases the heaviness, lifts a weight that you’d been carrying on your shoulders for far, far too long. “I neglected him, Ellie. I neglected him, and I neglected my marriage.” Your voice breaks off into a trembling whisper, prompting her to nudge you with her elbow once more. Though she hadn’t said anything, it was her way of encouraging you to let it out and god only knew that you needed to get the guilt off your chest and out into the open. Luke is an awful man and you don’t want to justify the terrible things he’s done to you, but you still feel partially responsible for how badly things had fallen apart, how they began crumbling long before the first time he’d ever put his hands on you. “I know Luke never forgave me for that, Ellie. In fact, I would say he fucking hates me for it.”

“Your dad was fucking dying! You had to learn how to be a veterinarian in what—a year or two?” Ellie sounds angry and it doesn’t surprise you. You know she’s grown to love you over the last couple of months—you two spend more time with one another than with anyone else and have become incredibly close. Ellie takes a moment to calm herself down before asking, “How long have you and Luke been married to each other, anyway?”

“For about a few years now. We’ve been together since I got to Jackson,” you explain. “A few months after we met, we exchanged vows in the old church that’s just up the road.”

Ellie brings her knees up and hugs them against her chest. “Can I ask you something? It’s really fucking personal, though.” She notices the amused look you toss at her and rolls her eyes. “More personal than what I’ve asked you up until now.”

“Depends. How personal are we talking?” Though you’re mostly joking, part of you is worried about what’s going to come out of the brazen teenager’s mouth.

“How come you and Luke don’t have any kids?”

Your eyes fall down to your hands, which you’re subconsciously wringing together anxiously in your lap. “I don’t know, Ellie.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“Exactly that. I don’t know.” You shrug and feel her lean against you as you elaborate on it a little further. “Once we’d realized that Jackson was just about as safe and secure as we could hope for, we tried starting a family. We wanted to have children like the other couples here in the community, but it never happened for us. I did get pregnant once. It was right before my dad got sick. I miscarried just a couple of days after taking one of those home pregnancy tests. I had just told Maria about the positive result—I was at her place when I started cramping, and then I started bleeding a little bit. Luke said it was normal for some women to experience that, but the next morning, I used the bathroom and—” You trail off, letting her piece together the last piece of the puzzle.

“Shit, I’m sorry—”

“It’s alright,” you reassure her, not wanting her to feel bad for having asked. “Anyway, after a couple of months, we decided to try for another baby, but I never got pregnant again.” Out of the corner of your eye, you notice the expression on her face and beat her to the punch. “And before you ask me, we don’t know who the problem is. It could be me, it could be Luke—it could be both of us for all we know. But without proper medical testing, there’s no way we can know for sure what’s going on. It’s something that we’re probably never going to figure out.”

For a moment, Ellie’s silent.

You can feel she’s itching to ask another question, tell that it’s right there on the tip of her tongue.

“Go ahead,” you encourage her. “It’s okay.”

“Are you happy with Luke?”

You hadn’t known what to expect.

But you certainly hadn’t expected that.

Maybe you should have.

Masking the shock on your expression, you turn to her and say, “He’s my husband, Ellie.”

She blinks. “You didn’t answer the question.”

You open your mouth to speak, but words fail you, and you quickly clamp it shut.

She’d stumped you. Hard.

After a minute, Ellie laughs, “Well, your silence answered the question a hell of a lot better than you fucking did, princess.” She sees you wring your hands together again and her grin fades. She speaks again, her tone going serious. “I don’t get it. If you’re not happy with him, then why not leave and find someone you can actually be happy with?”

“Ellie—”

“Come on, I see how all the men around here look at you,” she scoffs, shaking her head.

“Elle, please,” you sigh in exasperation. “That’s not true.”

She rolls her bottom lip between her teeth and peers at you.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I know Joel’s definitely got a thing for you—he’s got a thing for you big time.”

You stiffen beside her.

Fuck.

“And I know you’ve got a thing for him too.” Ellie’s eyes glimmer mischievously, the corners of her mouth tugging up into a smirk as she watches the color drain from your face.

Say something, you silently urge yourself. Anything.

“Ellie, I’m married,” you manage to stammer out.

Ellie snorts and shoots you a knowing look. “Listen, princess. It’s like I told you. I’m not blind and I’m not stupid. I know something happened between you two in Ranger’s stall right before me and Dina walked in.”

Again, she has you at a complete loss for words.

“So,” she prompts. “Who kissed who first?”

“Fuck,” you mumble. Embarrassed, you drop your head into your hands, unable to look at her. “I can’t even imagine what you must think of me—”

She touches your shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Surprised, you lift your head and turn to meet her gaze.

“I think you’re someone who just wants to be happy,” she states. “And for some fucking reason I don’t think I will ever understand, I’m guessing that Joel makes you happy?”

“I like him a lot, Ellie. Since the moment I first saw him back during the winter, there was something that drew me to him,” you admit, feeling your cheeks grow warm. After a minute, you squint at her and chuckle. “You probably find that pretty weird, don’t you?”

“Uh, yeah. Really fucking weird,” Ellie replies, causing you to laugh again. “Joel’s a different breed, man. Joel is—well, Joel is Joel. I didn’t see that asshole crack a smile until weeks after I first met him. We come here and not only do you have smiling—you got him to fucking dance at a party in front of a bunch of people. You might not think anything of it, but if you knew the Joel that I met a year ago, the Joel who hated the whole world and every motherfucker in it, you’d be shocked.”

You blurt the question before you can stop yourself. “How exactly did you and Joel wind up together, anyway?”

Ellie’s eyes widen slightly. “Um, I met him back in the Boston QZ.”

Suddenly, she seems nervous. Afraid, even.

Whatever secrets Ellie carries, she can’t speak of them—and you respect that.

“It’s okay,” you assure her, shaking your head. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me, alright?”

She nibbles the inside of her cheek. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you—I do. I haven’t been able to tell anyone and it’s been weighing down on me for months now. It’s the reason I can’t fucking sleep at night. It’s on my mind almost all day, every fucking day,” she confesses with an exhausted sigh. “I know if there’s one person that I can trust to tell, it’s gonna be you and only you.”

Patiently, you wait for her to make her choice.

Ellie sighs again.

“If I do tell you, I need you to promise me a couple things—the first is that you won’t fucking freak out on me.”

“I won’t freak out on you,” you swear.

“And the second is that you can’t tell Romeo that I told you anything about what I’m about to tell you, no matter what,” she warns you. “Got it?”

“Oh, please don’t call him that,” you mutter with a small shake of your head. She narrows her eyes at you and you hold your hands up. “Don’t worry, Ellie. Whatever we talk about tonight, it stays between the two of us. I promise.”

“Okay.” Ellie inhales a deep breath, then exhales it slowly before she lifts her arm. Slowly, she peels back the sleeve of her shirt and holds her arm out for you to see.

“Ellie,” you gasp her name softly. Taking it into your hands, your eyes glaze over what appears to be a large, healed bite wound. After a moment, you look back up at her in complete disbelief. “Is this from—?”

She nods. “Yeah. I got bit a year ago, but I never got sick.”

“How is that even possible?”

“I’m immune.” Ellie withdraws her arm, tugging her sleeve back down into place. That’s when she finally begins to tell you the entire story, beginning to end. She spends the next hour sparing absolutely no details as she recounts each and every one of the events from the abandoned mall in the Boston QZ right down to the Firefly hospital in Salt Lake City.

She tells you about her best friend, Riley. She tells you about Marlene and the Fireflies. She tells you about Joel and his former smuggling partner, Tess, and how Marlene had entrusted them to smuggle Ellie out of Boston. She tells you all about how she and Joel had spent several months traveling on foot halfway across the country to get her to where she needed to be. Losses, near fatal injuries, failures—Ellie spills it all right into your lap, leaving you speechless.

“Joel told me there’s a bunch more people like me who are immune. He said they’ve stopped looking for a cure.” Ellie’s eyes glaze over with tears, but she furiously blinks them back. “I shouldn’t even be here. I should be dead. But I’m not. I’m living in an actual fucking town, living a decent life. I’m going to fucking parties when I should really be dead.”

Finally, you find your voice.

“Ellie, don’t say that,” you say, softly. “That’s not true.”

“It is. I should be fucking dead, just like Riley. Like Tess. Like Sam—”

You turn, angling your body towards hers. You want to reassure her—but you don’t want to dismiss her feelings, either. “Ellie, I can’t even imagine how you must feel after everything you’ve been through, so I won’t sit here and pretend that I can.” Lifting your hands, you take her face between your palms and hold it gingerly, your thumb brushing a stray tear that had slipped and rolled down her cheek. “But if you’re still alive, it’s for a reason.”

“I thought I had a reason,” she mumbles. “But it’s gone now. I thought I had a purpose, but turns out I fucking don’t. My immunity, it means nothing. It meant nothing, all the fucking shit that I had to go through, that Joel had to go through—it was all for fucking nothing.”

Dropping your hands from her face, you place an arm around her and pull her close. “It might not have worked out the way you wanted it to and for that, I’m sorry,” you say, giving her shoulders a squeeze. “I know nothing I say is going to make what you’re feeling just go away. But one thing is for sure, Ellie. You don’t deserve to be dead. None of what happened out there is on you. None of it is your fault. You shouldn’t feel guilty because you’re still alive. It’s like I told you—if you’re still here, it’s for a reason.”

She sniffs. “Maybe the reason is being a thorn in your side.”

Grinning, you reach up and lightly pinch her flushed cheek, prompting her to laugh and slap your hand away. “For the record, you could never be a thorn in my side, Ellie. Not even if you tried.” You wait until her giggles subside before adding, “And just so you know, you have my word about this staying between the two of us.”

“Swear it?”

“I swear it,” you promise her with confidence.

She flashes you a tiny, appreciative smile. “Thanks.”

A comfortable silence settles over the both of you. You take in the sounds of the night—crickets chirping, owls cooing, and you can even hear a coyote howling in the distance.

“It’s pretty late,” you say, breaking it a few minutes later when you realize how long she’d been out of bed. “You should get home now.” You stand up and hold a hand out to her, helping her up to her feet. “Come on, I’ll take you to the door.”

You walk her back over to her and Joel’s unit and stand at the foot of the porch with her.

“Hey.” Ellie turns to you. “Is it alright if I like—give you a hug or something?”

Her request takes you by slight surprise, but you nod. “Of course.”

She hesitates, at first. But then she takes a step towards you and slips her arms around your waist.

As you wrap your own around her shoulders, it suddenly dawns on you that Ellie hadn’t asked for a hug because she needed one—but because she realized that you needed one.

A minute or two passes and Ellie doesn’t let you go.

An emotional lump rises to the back of your throat and you bury your face into her soft brown hair, warm tears brimming your eyes and threatening to fall.

“Ellie,” you croak her name, trying to warn her.

“It’s okay,” she assures you. She rests her head on your chest over your heartbeat. She hears it pounding, feels it thrumming against her cheekbone.

She holds you tightly and you finally break, choking a sob into her hair. As your body shudders in her arms, she squeezes you harder, almost as if she’s trying to somehow hug your pain away.

For the first time in two years, you’re finally allowing yourself to cry in front of someone else—for the first time in two years, you don’t feel completely alone.

Suddenly, the front door of the house swings open in such an aggressive manner that it startles you apart from one another.

“Jesus Christ,” Joel breathes, letting out a sigh of relief as he descends the porch steps. “Ellie, what the hell are you doin’ out of bed at two o’ clock in the goddamn mornin’? I went to check up on you and you were gone! Scared the fuckn’ shit outta me—” He stops abruptly when he finally realizes she’s not alone. He steps closer and even in the darkness, he sees the tears you’re trying to wipe away. “What’s the matter? What happened?”

“Nothing,” you say, quickly. “Sorry, Joel. She was with me. We were just at my house talking out on my front porch and we lost track of time—”

He cuts you off. “Why are you cryin’?”

Ellie’s eyes helplessly bounce between the two of you.

“Joel, it’s nothing. I promise it’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“The hell you are.” Joel turns to Ellie. “Go inside and get to bed. Go on now.”

“But Joel—”

He pins her with a stern look and she sighs. She gives you one more hug, a quick one, before disappearing inside the house, closing the door behind her.

“C’mere darlin’,” Joel murmurs, taking your hand in his. He leads you up the steps of his porch. The light is off, but the moon and stars light up the night sky bright enough that you’re able to make out the concern written all over his face. Joel keeps your hand in his own as he guides you to sit down on the porch swing he’d built and hung for Ellie. He sits down beside you. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” you fib again.

“Really?” He hums. “‘Cause those tears are tellin’ me a whole different story.”

You can’t help but wonder if Ellie had always been stubborn—or if she’d picked it up from Joel. The latter wouldn’t surprise you.

“I had a fight with Luke. It was on my mind and I couldn’t sleep, so I stepped outside to try and clear my head a little bit,” you explain to him, keeping everything as vague as possible. “I was sitting on my porch—Ellie couldn’t sleep either and was taking a walk when she saw me. She noticed I’d been crying and offered to keep me company for a while.”

“You had a fight with Luke,” he repeats.

“Joel—”

“Why did you two fight? He do somethin’ to you?”

You sigh. “He said something to me he knew would hit a nerve,” you tell him, hoping it’s enough of an explanation for him. “I got upset and said something stupid to him that I really shouldn’t have and we got into an argument.”

Joel squeezes your hand, momentarily hesitating.

You’re almost afraid to ask, but you do anyway. “What?”

“Are you happy with him?”

You stare at him. “I beg your pardon?”

“Don’t think I stuttered, peach. I asked if you’re happy with him.”

Pulling your hand out of Joel’s, you stand up and walk over to the wooden railing that circles his porch. You look across the road, fixing your eyes on the front door of a neighboring house.

When Ellie had asked you that question, it’d been fairly innocent.

But now that it’s Joel asking you, it’s different.

You hear the sound of his footsteps coming up behind you and swallow harshly. Slowly, you turn around to face him, though you hadn’t realized he had been so close. Your eyes meet his chest, clad in the same navy blue shirt he’d been wearing when you had dropped off your father’s guitar.

Nervously, they flicker up to meet his. “Luke is my husband, Joel.”

Joel echoes Ellie’s words. “You didn’t answer the question.”

Like father, like daughter.

“We’re fine, Joel. Our marriage is fine. Alright?”

Scoffing, he shakes his head. “Still didn’t answer the question.”

“What does it matter to you?” you challenge him. You’re certain you know the answer to your own question. Still, part of you, the part that lacks all common sense, wants to hear it from his own mouth. You need to hear it from him.

“I think you know why, darlin’.” He takes a step closer. He’s now standing so close that his chest touches yours.

“Joel—” You stop, unsure of what to say.

“Tell me to back off,” Joel utters the same words he’d said to you back at the stables. He leans down, inching closer and closer to you. “Please. I need you to tell me to back off right now before I do somethin’ stupid.”

You try to oblige—you really, really try to do what he’s asking of you. But you can’t.

You don’t want to.

Your heart pounds and you can hear the roar of your own blood rushing in your ears as the adrenaline shoots through your veins.

He hasn’t even touched you yet.

“Please,” Joel nearly pleads. “Tell me to back off.”

“I can’t,” you admit, sounding as weak as you feel. “I can’t do that, Joel.”

“Why not?”

“I think you know why,” you reply, parroting his own words back to him.

He inches closer and your breaths fall from your lips in tiny, pathetic little pants. Your chest heaves as you try to steady them, but it’s useless. There’s no masking the effect he has on you, no hiding how he’s making you feel.

Joel gingerly takes the side of your face and cradles your cheek in his palm. “Baby.”

It’s ironic. Just hours ago, Luke had struck you there in a painful slap and now here is Joel, holding it so softly and so gently in his hand. His touch is comforting, it’s soothing—somehow you already know it has the power to heal the wounds you thought you’d have to live with for the rest of your life.

His other hand moves to your hip and he pulls you in even closer to him. He leans in and presses his lips to yours lightly, carefully, as if he’s testing the waters before allowing himself to take the plunge into the deep end. The moment he feels you melt right into his hands, his tongue sweeps across your bottom lip, silently asking you permission for more.

Eager, your mouth parts for him and he backs you into the wooden railing as he kisses you deeper, with fervor. Your hands slide up his chest, past his wide shoulders, and tangle themselves in his soft, graying curls.

Groaning, Joel tears his mouth away from yours and pins you between himself and the railing, his lips meeting the sensitive flesh of your neck and latching on in desperation. He pushes your robe off your shoulders and it falls to the ground with a soft thud. Your breath catches in your throat as his warm, calloused hands slide up the hem of your shirt and up the length of your sides, his fingers gliding across your smooth skin.

“Joel,” you faintly whimper his name, your hands falling back down onto his shoulders. You grasp them, holding on as if you’re holding onto dear life itself.

You can’t help but imagine what it would be like to feel those hands roam and explore the entirety of your body, touching every last inch of skin you have to offer him. Your mind wanders even further and you wonder how your name would sound rolling off of his tongue while he’s buried inside of you, making you his own.

“You really ain’t gonna tell me to back off,” he mumbles the realization into the hollow of your neck. Inhaling deeply, he commits your scent to memory—the sweet, subtle, fragrance of homemade milk and honey bath soap blends together with the delicate lavender from the calming salve you smother yourself in every night before bed.

“No,” you exhale the world shakily. “I’m not. Because I don’t want you to back off.”

Joel pushes one of his hands further up your shirt, cupping one of your breasts and eliciting another whimper as he kneads the soft mound of flesh, a thumb brushing over your hard nipple. His other hand moves around your waist and he holds you close as his teeth scrape across your collarbone, nipping at it lightly.

He silently reminds himself to be careful not to leave behind marks. He can’t send you home to your husband covered in evidence.

Withdrawing his hand from underneath your shirt, he drags it down to the waistband of your thin, cotton blue shorts. His index finger skims along the elastic.

“Joel,” you mewl his name into his chest, thighs clenching together as the arousal pools between them, drenching your panties.

Surely he has to know what he’s doing to you by now.

“What is it, my little peach?” he asks, humming against your collarbone. “What do you what?”

You dig your fingernails into his shoulders in a silent plea.

“Y’gotta tell me what you want, baby,” Joel murmurs quietly. “Ain’t doin’ anythin’ unless you tell me you want me to. Use your words, sweet girl.”

“Touch me, Joel. Please, I need you to touch me. I need you to fucking touch me,” you beg him in a low, husky voice you don’t even recognize.

Slotting his lips against yours, he does as you ask him and slips his hand down the front of your bottoms. He groans into the kiss the second he makes contact with your heat. “Fuckin’ Christ,” he curses quietly, his eyes snapping open and meeting yours in the moonlight. “Baby, you’re soakin’ wet. This all for me, sweetheart?”

You exhale sharply as he drags his index finger along your entrance—it’s then followed by a loud, audible gasp when he pushes it into your throbbing cunt.

“Joel,” you moan, prompting him to quickly cover your mouth with his once again, swallowing the noise.

After a moment, Joel pulls away slightly and warns, “Can’t be too loud, darlin’. Kid can’t see us, but I’m willin’ to bet she’s got her ear pressed against the door tryin’ to eavesdrop. Gonna need you to be a real good girl and stay quiet for me, alright?”

You nod, biting down on your lip.

“Good.” He pushes a second finger into your pussy, relishing in how deliciously tight you feel around his digits. He can only imagine how heavenly you would feel wrapped around something else of his.

You sink your teeth harder into your lip and swallow back a moan as he curls his fingers inside of you in an upward, come hither motion, brushing against a spot in your body you didn’t even know existed. Joel withdraws them ever so slightly, then thrusts them back into you, intensifying the flames deep in your lower belly.

“Fuck, peach. Gotta fuckin’ taste you, darlin’,” he mutters as he pulls his hand away from you and takes a step backwards, giving himself enough space to sink down onto his knees.

Realizing what he means, you open your eyes and quickly stop him, pulling him back up his feet. “Joel. Wait.”

He frowns—had you changed your mind?

“What’s the matter?”

“No one’s ever—I’ve never had anyone do that to me before.” Blazing heat scorches your cheeks as you make the admission.

Joel scoffs in disbelief. “You’re kiddin’ me, right?”

Embarrassed, you shake your head. “No. I’m not.”

He leans forward and his lips brush against the shell of your ear, making you shiver as he whispers lustfully, “Will you let me make you feel good, sweetheart?”

Your insecurities make you hesitate—but your need for him is bigger than your fears, it’s bigger than the anxieties that stem from your lack of experience. Pulling away, you meet his gaze and nod. “Please.”

Joel drops down to one knee in front of you. He hooks his fingers underneath the elastic band of your shorts and slides them down your legs along with your cotton panties. He carefully frees one of your ankles from the articles of clothing and proceeds to drape your leg over his shoulder. He peppers a trail of soft kisses along the inside of your thigh, his beard scratching at the tender flesh there. As he draws closer and closer to where where he’s aching to be, the tip of his nose brushes lightly against your cunt and he groans your name quietly underneath his breath. He’s already intoxicated—if the scent of your sex is this fucking sweet, he’s willing to bet his life that the taste of you is going to be something beyond his wildest imagination.

You don’t trust yourself not to collapse on top of him. Reaching behind yourself, you grip the railing and your fingers claw at the wood, running the risk of painful splinters. But you don’t even think about that. You can’t think about anything except Joel Miller being on his knees in front of you.

He glances up at you and asks, “You sure ‘bout this, baby?”

“Yes,” you reply, already breathless. “I’m sure.”

He spreads your legs further and moves his head to the apex of your thighs, his mouth, hungry and searing, meeting your cunt. Nose buried in tufts of damp, silky soft curls, Joel slips his tongue between your glistening folds, flattening it out as he slowly drags it forward, savoring the taste of your slick. One of your hands abandons the railing and buries itself into his hair, your fingernails lighty scraping at his scalp. Your knee shakes and you fight to keep yourself upright, but with the way Joel’s ravishing your pussy, it’s only a matter of time before he brings you down. He moans into you, devours you like a man starved—a man who wouldn’t dare leave any part of you not licked, not sucked, not kissed. He swallows everything you have to offer him, drinks it down like it’s water.

“Oh fuck,” you gasp, hearing the audible slurping coming from underneath you. It’s a sheer pleasure you’ve never experienced before—a pleasure you didn’t even know was possible. You’d never been touched like this before. Tasted like this before.

Joel wraps his lips around your clit, taking extra care to give plenty of his attention to the swollen bundle of nerves as he slides two thick fingers into your pussy, stretching your walls.

“Fuck—Joel,” you whisper, willing yourself not to be too loud. He begins thrusting them in and out of you, gradually increasing his pace until the squelching sound of him finger fucking you breaks the calm, quiet silence of the night. All the while, his mouth remains latched onto your clit. Combined with the strokes of his fingers, the way they hit that soft, sensitive spongy spot inside your cunt, you’re approaching a release you’ve only ever give yourself when you were home alone. “God, that feels so fucking good, Joel. Don’t stop, please don’t fucking stop—”

And he doesn’t.

As desperate as you are, his own desperation tops it.

You’re dripping around his fingers, wetness slowly trickling down the palm of his hand, dribbling down to his wrist. Joel keeps his pace, but his tongue flattens over your clit in firm, broad strokes. He lifts his other arm and hooks it around your trembling thigh, holding you firmly in place as your body involuntarily tries squirming away from him. He keeps you right where he needs you, his face still buried in your cunt.

The pressure that’s been building between your hips nears its peak—there isn’t a single part of you that isn’t aching for that sweet, sweet release. “Joel, fuck, I’m gonna—I’m so fucking close.”

He tears his mouth away from you and looks up, whispering, “C’mon, baby. C’mon. Come for me,” he whispers hoarsely. “Wanna feel this sweet little pussy squeeze my fingers.”

You sink your teeth hard into your bottom lip to keep yourself from crying out his name. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, feels different than the orgasms you’d give yourself, better than the orgasms you would give yourself—after coming on his fingers, coming on your own won’t ever be the same. The muscles in your stomach tense, and then an explosion follows, sending you tumbling over the edge as you fall apart right in the palm of his hand. He slows his pace as he helps you right through the tumultuous wave of pleasure that crashes over you.

Unable to hold yourself steady any longer, you feel the leg that’s supporting your weight buckle and if it wasn’t for Joel’s hands flying to your hips, you would have collapsed to the floor.

“S’alright baby, I got you,” he reassures as he holds you up. “I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

Joel feathers his last few kisses on the inside of your thigh, leaving a trail of burning fire behind in his wake. He then pulls your underwear and shorts up your legs back into place before rising to his feet with a small, labored grunt. Taking you in his arms, he pulls your body flush against his as he kisses you, allowing you to get a taste of yourself on his lips. It’s foreign but intoxicating, and it makes you drip for him all over again.

As he holds you even closer, you feel his cock brush against your hip and you moan. You squeeze an arm between your bodies and eagerly cup him in the palm of your hand through his gray sweatpants, eliciting a groan from him as he licks into your mouth. He’s hard for you and all you want is to see him, taste him, feel him.

Breaking away from his embrace, you start to sink down to your knees when his hands catch your shoulders and pull you back up to your feet.

“You ain’t gotta do that,” he whispers, tucking a loose lock of your hair behind your ear. “You don’t owe me anythin’ back, alright?”

“I know I don’t, but I want to,” you insist, batting your eyelashes. Tugging your lip between your teeth, you give him an innocent face that almost makes him come on on the spot. “I really, really want to.”

Joel takes your hands in his. “I believe you, peach. I do. But tonight, all I wanted—all I needed was to take care of you. Make you feel good. That’s it. We can worry ‘bout me another night.”

Another night. It takes you a minute to realize what he means.

He wants to keep seeing you. Like this.

In secret. In the dead of night, when nobody else is around.

You glance up at him, lips parted slightly in surprise. Then, your eyes flicker down to your hands, still in his, your stomach sinking when your wedding band gleams in the moonlight, garnering your attention. It’s not because you feel guilty, but rather, it’s only a frustrating reminder that you belong to Luke. He would never set you free, not in this lifetime. He’d rather see you six feet under the ground than allow you to end your marriage.

Stolen moments and clandestine meetings in the middle of the night were all you could ever have with Joel Miller.

The man you’re falling for too hard, too fast.

Joel’s thinking the same. He’s not an idiot. He knows that you’re not happy in your marriage, but even so, there’s not a chance in hell Luke’s going to be willing to let you go—much less to be with another man. He remembers the night at the party, the way Luke held you possessively, marked his territory and made it known you’re his. Not his wife, but his property.

He hooks an index finger underneath your chin, bringing your eyes back up to meet his. “Need to ask you somethin’ and I’m gonna need you to be real honest with me, darlin’. Alright?”

Nervously, you nod. “Okay,” you reply, tentatively. “What is it?”

“He ever hurt you, sweet girl?”

A chill runs down the length of your spine. In the steadiest voice you can muster, you ask, “What are you talking about, Joel?”

He clocks the way you stiffen, feels your discomfort. “Luke. He ever put his hands on you or anythin’ like that?”

Your throat goes dry like sandpaper.

Does he know something?

No, that’s impossible.

He’d only ever seen you with Luke once.

“No, of course not,” you lie to him, furiously shaking your head. “We do fight a lot, but he’s never gotten physical with me.”

Suspicious, Joel peers at you. “You tellin’ me the truth, peach?”

No, I’m not! I’m trapped in a fucking nightmare of a marriage and I can’t do anything about it.

You want to take him by his shirt, curl it in your fists and shout it in his face. There isn’t a single part of you that doesn’t want to confess everything to him, tell him about the hell Luke’s been putting you through since your father passed away. But you know better than that. You know that if Joel ever finds out, he’ll go straight to Tommy and Maria

Or worse.

He’ll go straight to Luke himself.

After everything Ellie had told you about him from their journey across the country, you now have a clear idea of just what Joel Miller is capable of, the lengths he would go to just to protect the people he cares about.

“I am,” you finally answer, looking him straight in the eye. “I’m telling the truth. I swear.”

You can see it. Feel it.

Joel doesn’t believe you.

Without an admission, though, he doesn’t have much choice but to nod his head, accepting the lie. “Alright.”

“I don’t want to talk about him anymore,” you mumble, taking your hands out of his. You place them on his chest and look up at him through the thickness of your eyelashes. “We might not always get a lot of alone time together, Joel. So what little time we do get together, I don’t want to waste a single second of it by talking about him. Okay?”

Joel wraps his arms around your waist. “Okay,” he agrees with another nod.

Something tells him that you’re protecting Luke and he doesn’t know why.

But there is one thing that he does know.

If he ever catches wind of what Luke is doing to you behind closed door, Joel’s going to fucking kill him.

#joel miller series #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller angst #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller x original character #joel miller x oc #joel miller fluff #pedro pascal characters #joel miller imagine #fic: a safe haven #fic: ash

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exactlyyoungchaos · 5 months

Text

Loss of my Life.

Husband Simon X Reader.

My first time writing here!!! Please don't mind the mistakes as I'm writing this at 5 in the morning. enjoy!!!

TW: loss of a relationship, hurt, angst, little comfort, cursing, trauma(loss of family, mention of miscarriage), "its not you, its me bullshit" let me know if i missed something!

You used be a medic working with TF141 for years before you retired. that's how you met your now husband Simon Riley. he was the most loving, attentive and responsible partner you could've asked for, he was ghost to everyone but not you, never you. But something's changed recently.

ever since his last mission eight months ago, he's been detached, not talking to you properly, coming home extremely late and drunk. he hasn't even touched you since he came back and its saying something for a guy who used to be attached to your hips whenever he could.

you tried talking to him, tried asking what's wrong but you always got the same answer, " you're thinkin too much lovie, nothings wrong."

but you know your husband so you start digging, and that's the biggest mistake you have made.

you found a note in his vest pocket, where he keeps his wedding ring during missions that read " be safe and come back to me" in a handwriting you knew by heart but it wasn't yours.

it was of his childhood best friend. she was in the special forces as well, and recently worked with Simon's team on the last mission.

you knew then and there, the reason of the detachment, the curt responses. your husband was in love with the woman he told you not to worry about.

your eyes blur with the realization that the life you once knew is soon going to come to an end, the man you're in love with , who's ring you have been wearing for years is not yours anymore or maybe he never was.

you sat there in your closet, tears streaming down your face, gut wrenching sobs coming out of you mouth. he isn't home, like usual so there is no one to witness the loss of your life.

your brain conjure up all the good times you had with him but now all of it is tainted by the realization that none of it was true.

you remember every time you caught both of them looking at each other, the friendly adoration in Simon's eyes now looked like longing, with his hands still around your waist.

every time he said to you "you're the love of my life" with his lips on yours, was he wishing it was her? all these years, you were so in love, so blinded by the rose tinted glasses you had over your eyes that you never saw it?

you sat there for hours, mulling over your whole life. how the one person you thought was yours forever was never yours. so you got up, eyes hollow, bloodshot and puffy, your form trembling. you put the note back where it was and go lay on your bed.

you stare at the wall for hours, around three am, your front door opened and closed. you felt him as he walked in the bedroom and slipped under the sheets next to you.

for the first time in weeks, he put his arms around your waist and pulled you towards himself, " you awake love?" he murmured in your neck.

all that came out of your mouth was, " Am I not enough?" in a rough whisper.

his arms tense around you, he knows that you know. before he could say something, you turn to face him, still in his arms.

you look at his face, and trace his scars with your fingers as tears fell from your eyes on your pillow.

his expression is tortured, " Its not what you-" but you cut him off with a soft shush and a finger on his lips. the lips you called home for as long as you remember.

you don't want him to lie to you anymore so you smile, the same smile Simon has witnessed when you lost your whole family in an accident as he stood next to your shaking form during the funeral, the same smile you gave him when you had a miscarriage as he stood next to you on the hospital bed holding your hand, grieving with you.

his heart was breaking, he was cursing himself for doing this to you. but you don't blame him, you haven't said anything to him except "will you hold me for the last time? please?" and you bury your face in his chest, taking in his scent for the last time. feeling his erratic heartbeat for the last time.

Simon's hand tightened around you, he doesn't want to let you go. the only good thing that happened to him. he destroyed you, like he always does to anything he touches.

he knows he cant fix this, nothing he could say would fix this. so he held you, with all his might, for the last time.

part 2?

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #angst #ghost cod #call of duty modern warfare 2 #first time writing

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kit-williams · 3 months

Note

An interesting idea recently came to my mind… and I just can’t keep quiet about it.

Imagine Horus suddenly realizing he's falling in love with a remembrancer/serf who's… pregnant.

Who the father is unknown. Either he died or abandoned you. And yes, this whole situation really pisses Horus off. He is delighted with the way you look, the way you smell and understands that he wants you to bear his child, give him blood sons.

You are cared for, you are cherished. Even too much. But he hates this child from some mortal. And then… heresy comes. After giving birth you are informed that your child, what a horror, has died. Horus consoles you, as if it was not he who crushed your son.

You will definitely become a mother. Do just let the primarch take care of you, okay?And please stop crying for your child, it's annoying. Oh, do you have any milk left? Well… :)

Yes, this whole plot and details are simply replete with horror, manipulation and perverted breeding kink. But Horus Heretic is supposed to be scary.

I don’t know if you will write a post about this or not. It would be a great pleasure to read. Unfortunately, I am not strong in Luna Wolves and Horus. Anyway, I hope all of you liked my absolutely disturbing idea.

So Momrad normally avoids stuff about hurting babehs... BUT this hit me like an Iron Warrior with a trenching shovel. Probably gonna do serf because obligatory momrad is in love with horrific power imbalances

Also ya'll have a lot more faith in me than I do myself about how I'm writing the primarchs and the legions so thank you!

tw: manipulation, breeding kink, discussion about a pregnant womans body, talks about miscarriage, child death (PLEASE someone let me know if I miss a tag)

@bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog

@thevoidscreams @barn-anon @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @squishyowl @ms--lobotomy

@nekotaetae @sleepyfan-blog

You had such a glow to your skin when he first saw you. He was told that pregnant women had a glow to them and you certainly glowed. It was more of a passing interest in his serfs he was always a nosy and gregarious one and you had mentioned how you'd have to be transferred to lighter labor soon not realizing the primarch was listening to your conversations.

The hesitation upon your dark lips when the other serfs, in their gossip, had asked about the father. The tight line that your lips had become... "I'm having this child by immaculate conception." You said causing the others to laugh but Horus could tell... he could tell that you were on your own not by your own choice. And that thought caused him to roil. All of his sons were someone else's son at some point and then they were made to be his... sometimes there was a choice to be made into an Astartes... and sometimes there was no choice. Perhaps it was his inhumanity or perhaps hyper-humanity that caused him to be confused as to why you continued on... and why it sounded like you had been abandoned.

Perhaps Horus was glad in some sense that you had been abandoned by the uncaring father as you made something itch in the back of his skull and eventually even he could no longer ignore it. You wilted in his presence under his gaze, like all mortals did at first, to be in the presence of a demigod... the hand pressed over your slightly swollen stomach to protect it. But Horus simply played innocent in his intentions asking about the child... what it was like as he had been handmade by the Emperor and so this aspect of being human was lost upon him and his brothers.

The glow to your skin returned with each visit he made, his fingers caressing your stomach and eventually the poisoned thought latched like a newborn to the teat... what if you could bear his sons? You try your best to not be a burden to the Primarch, your request to transfer denied, he simply says its all from curiosity... but that lie dies quickly as your body goes through more changes... once you enter your second trimester.

Your breasts leak, he can smell it... the slow dribbling from your engorged breasts. The grunts from you as you press your hand against your rounding stomach... the fascination from other serfs and even his sons and the sparkle in your eyes as a tiny foot kicks against the hand. You had other side effects and had tried to run from him during one of them... spikes in arousal and sensitivity. You once more wilted under his gaze when you realized the Primarch could smell you... and the lie for why he kept you around died.

You were far too fearful to take his cock, far too sensitive... his fingers were almost too much and yet you rode his hand... riding his digit deep inside of your fluttering cunt with the vigor of a sex starved woman. Horus' mouth latched to your breast suckling on the tasteless discharge and he could feel the way your cunt gripped around his finger with each suckle. He could feel the tiny foreign body inside of you when he pressed against your swollen stomach. And he wanted it gone. He felt kinship in the way that certain males in animals will commit infanticide to try to get the mother fertile again as it was slowly becoming clear that simply hoping you would miscarry wasn't going to happen. But still... he should have warned you to not partake in his food... you didn't know what things he could ingest.

He loved seeing you like this, his hands supporting your weight as his cock slowly pushed in and out of you as tears were rolling down your face as it was too much yet not enough. You cried out his name in weak whimpers trying to close your legs one moment and the next trying to open them wider. He could pretend for a moment that your swollen belly was full of a child that was his. He wanted an actual son of Horus from you. He wanted to create the human chimera that all humans were to be made of... that biological mashup of his DNA mixed with yours... he wanted that. He was reminded once the haze of lust had passed, and as he stole succor from your breasts that the life inside of you wasn't his. It was from a man who abandoned you without a second thought... it confused the Primarch as to why you would raise the offspring of a man who did not care about the life you were bearing? Why reward him for his genetic duty of passing on his genes? Why would he have to wait up to a year before you would be ready to have his son?

It was doubtful that he would be there... be there to snuff out the life that came from you but he told the midwife what he wanted... and who was she to disobey? And he was right as he had been called away to bring the heel of the crusade onto the neck of some fool who thinks they could withstand the might of the Emperor. When he came back you were withdrawn... having to be ordered to come to him as the depression had claimed you. He did his best to sooth you and not revel in satisfaction that seemed that the child upon leaving your womb was far too weak... you did not hear that triumphant cry of life and that was the last you saw of your babe.

Your breasts were swollen with milk for a dead child... you still cried for the life you had grown to love... cooing lovingly to the thing inside of you. Horus soothes his anger with the fact that if this had been your child with him you would have still wept so greatly. You hardly notice your back in his bed as the Primarch pulled open your front and latched onto your breast feeling the liquid dribble out as your hand instinctively went to the back of his head as he nursed. He would say it was to relieve the pain your breasts were in... but he wanted to distract you. He drained one breast dry before moving to the other drinking up the meager amount of milk meant for a tiny stomach.

Sniffling weakly as your fingers move over his scalp as he kisses you soothing you asking you if you still want a baby. The tears that fall from your eyes as you answer your primarch truthfully... you still wanted to hold the tiny body that they wouldn't let you see... you never got to say goodbye... "Yes." You say so sadly as he kisses you with that charming look in his eyes.

"Then I will make it so my dear... recover and when you are better I swear that you shall have a healthy child by next solar year." Horus says kissing you softly... and soon enough he will replace his father and bring actual peace to the Imperium. And you will help bring about such change now that your womb is empty... and once it is ready... he is certain to fill it once again with his brood.

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girlrotterr · 7 months

Text

Ultraviolence pt.3

farm!ellie x fem!reader TW!: references to alcohol and substance abuse, along with instances of emotional and verbal abuse. Mentions of miscarriage and PTSD. a/n: the final chapterr!! so internally grateful for all the support this series received. I appreciate you angels & send all my love

read part 1! read part 2!

You took a deep breath, choosing your words carefully.

‘We both knew the risks. You didn't force me to come with you. We made that decision together," you said, trying to reason with her.

She shot you a glare, her eyes red and filled with anger. "Don't make fucking excuses."

The room turned cold. She wiped away her tears with a rough motion, revealing a hardness in her eyes that hadn't been there before.

"I lost everything. All those people I killed, all the pain I caused, and for what? Nothing. Revenge didn't bring them back. It just left me with a trail of fucking corpses."

You reached out to touch her shoulder, hoping to provide some comfort, but she shrugged it off.

"Don't fucking touch me. I don't need your pity," Ellie snapped, her voice cutting through the air like a blade.

The warmth that once existed between you had disintegrated, leaving only a cold, bitter residue. She stood up abruptly, storming out of the kitchen. You stood there for a moment, feeling the sharp sting of Ellie's words. For one final time.

Taking a deep breath, you composed yourself and followed after her into the living room. Ellie took a seat on the couch, retrieving a cigarette from her pocket. Her hands trembled as she attempted to calm herself. With puffy eyes, she avoided your gaze, her eyes darting away from yours.

"Ellie, I can't stay here like this. I can't watch you destroy yourself," you said, your voice steady "If you won't let me help, if you won't let anyone in, then I can't be a part of this. I can't keep trying to fix something that you're determined to break."

Ellie turned to face you, anger simmering in her eyes, a huge shift from the vulnerability she had shown moments ago. "So that's it, huh? You're going to leave?"

"It's not about leaving," you replied, meeting her gaze. "I’ve realized that I can't force you to change. I can't make you confront the past if you're not willing to face it yourself."

Her jaw tightened.

"I can't do it anymore, Ellie!" you continued, your voice with frustration. "I can't stand by and watch you destroy everything, including our family. The constant anger, the distance, it's not fair to him, it's not fair to me."

A flicker of anxiety passed through Ellie's eyes, so quick you almost missed it. But it was there, a crack in her facade.

"I found a place," you confessed, "Maria.. helped me. It's a small house.”

Ellie clenched her fist tighter, her nails practically piercing right through her skin. "You can't just take him away from me."

"I'm saving what's left of our family." you shot back, "He deserves a stable environment, one where he doesn't have to-."

Ellie suddenly got up, her eyes begging, yet her body language was saying something entirely different. Trembling, her fists clenched, and her gaze locked onto you with worry. No, it wasn't just worry—it was raw, genuine fear. The very fear she dreaded most was happening right before her eyes. You were leaving. Taking your son with you, and leaving her behind. Ellie's hands quivered, her nails digging so deeply into her palms that they burned.

Her breathing came in shallow gasps, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she struggled to calm herself. "Please,.." she whispered, "Don't…leave..me"

"Ellie..." Your voice quivered, torn between your own fear and wanting to comfort her.

But she wasn't finished. With desperation, she took a step closer, her voice trembling as she continued, "You can't do this. p-please, don't take him away from me. I-I..need you both. I can't... I can't do this alone."

You felt a lump form in your throat.

"We’re leaving." you finally said, your voice remaining firm.

Desperation and anger flashed in Ellie's eyes. "No, no, no!" she cried out, her voice turning into a panicked plea. "You can't just abandon me. I-Iwon't let you."

Ellie bolted towards the stairs, her footsteps hard against the wooden steps. Panic rushed through you, followed behind her, fearing what she might do next. As you reached the top of the staircase, you saw Ellie rushing towards your child's room.

"Ellie, stop!" you shouted, your heart racing.

But she ignored you, flinging open the door to your child's room. Panic and confusion gripped you as you chased after her.

"Ellie, please!" you pleaded, your voice trembling with desperation.

She turned to face you, desperation on her face. "If you leave, I'm taking him with me. I won't let you take him away!"

Your heart thumped in your chest as Ellie's trembling hands reached for your child. In a flash, she scooped him into her arms, holding him protectively against her chest. His innocent eyes widened in confusion, fear surrounding him.

"No! Ellie, stop it!" you cried out, reaching out to her.

But she clutched him tighter, her voice trembling. "No! n-not yet.. It's too soon! I... I haven't... I haven't..."

The realization struck you. Ellie’s words trailed off. She was lost in a moment of painful memory. She was thinking of Joel. The wounds of their relationship still raw and unhealed. Your child in her arms was a symbol, a fragile connection to the past that haunted her.

"Ellie..." Your voice softened, the weight of her grief finally making sense."It's not him. He's safe. You're safe."

Tears welled up in Ellie's eyes as she clung to your child, her shaking grip. "I... I couldn't save him. I couldn't save him..."

The weight of her words settled in the room, and you finally understood the depth of her pain. It wasn't just about you leaving; it was the fear of losing the people she cared about, a fear rooted so far deep in the scars of her past.

Your child, looked up at Ellie with innocent eyes. "What's wrong mommy ?" the small voice asked.

Ellie's gaze shifted to him, pain and guilt plastered on her face. She couldn't find the words to answer, her throat tightening.

"Mommy, why are you sad?" he continued, he needed to know what was wrong. He couldn’t stand to see Ellie like this.

Ellie's breath hitched, pulling the child even closer to her chest. The room seemed to trap her, the walls closing in as if they were tightening, her grip on your child's arms remained. As if he was her only form of escape.

"I..I won’t.." Ellie mumbled, almost to herself, her voice strained.

Your child’s worry grew, he turned to look at you, needing an answer. You knew you had to do something, but what?

"Ellie, please, just listen to me," you pleaded, taking slow steps towards her.

"g-get away!" she yelled, holding onto your child even tighter, her hands clenching around his small arms.

"ow!" he yelped, a sudden pain in his voice.

Your heart raced with a surge of panic. You didn’t want him to be involved in this.

"please, just let him go, and we can talk about thi-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Ellie yelled, her voice vibrating throughout the entire room.

Your child's eyes began to water, his anxiety growing with each passing second. He didn't know what to think or do.

"m..mommy, i-it hurts.." he hiccuped, looking up at Ellie with stained cheeks, tears streaming down like rivers.

Ellie's mind was in complete disarray, buzzing with countless thoughts that raced with chaos. Her hands shook, her body unable to find stillness. Her eyebrows furrowed as she struggled to gather herself. Adrenaline surged through her veins, her breaths coming in heavy uneven gasps. She couldn't focus on anything anymore; all her senses were useless.

A ringing began to buzz in her ears, her eyes frantically scanning the room, catching a glimpse of you, your lips moving as you tried to speak to her. But the ringing was so unbearable, drowning out any sound.

"ELLIE!" your voice pierced right through it.

───

“ELLIE!”

Ellie snapped her neck towards the shout of her name, eyes widening as she took in the sight before her.

There you stood, hands trembling, your shirt drenched in blood, the crimson liquid slowly seeping onto the damp grass. Your eyes were wide, on the verge of bursting. filled with an overflow of tears. Your legs shook, threatening to give way at any moment, knees weakened by the sharp pain from the blade lodged in your lower stomach, Your throat felt strained, as if ellie’s name was all you could speak.

Frantically, Ellie ran towards you, her heart pounding against her chest. With each step, she stumbled, her breath quickening.

no..No..NO!!

As Ellie reached you, a rush of tears burst from your eyes, your face covered in salty droplets that slid down your quivering lips.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Ellie exclaimed in panic, her hands moving frantically as she tried to figure out what to do. "H-Here, baby, lay down," she urged, her voice trembling as she tried to stay strong.

Ellie gently guided you to lie down, your entire body ached with anguish, trembling as you grunted in pain, trying to remain as quiet as possible. Not wanting to attract any attention.

You were completely surrounded by the WLF.

You sank into the damp grass, the earth stained with blood, the sharp scent of iron filling the air. Ellie knelt beside you, her hands trembling as she stared down at you.

"I need something to stop the bleeding," she muttered to herself, her eyes darting around.

"s-stay with me, please," she pleaded, her voice trembling with fear. With swift movements, she tore fabric from her own shirt, clutching it tightly in her shaking hands.

"I'm going to t-take it out... okay?" she said nervously, her gaze fixated on your stomach.

You weakly reached for Ellie's, your own hands completely bloodied from clutching your abdomen. Ellie looked at you, her eyes watering, her gaze filled with terror.

"I got you." she said, leaning forward and placing a kiss on your forehead. The softness of her pink lips being the only warm sensation your body felt. You closed your eyes, hiccuping as silent sobs shook your body.

You nodded weakly, unable to utter a single word. The pain was too overwhelming, threatening to consume you if you let out even a whimper.

Ellie nodded back, a gesture of readiness. She placed her right hand on your stomach, shaking uncontrollably as she made contact with your cold skin.

You brought the side of your hand up to your mouth, pressing your teeth into it to suppress the agony.

Ellie reached for the handle of the blade, her hand hesitating as if she were afraid of the very object she needed to hold. Her heart sank as she drew closer to it, her hands finally gripping around it with a shaky grip.

She knew what she was about to do. Pulling out the blade meant unleashing a flow of blood, a sign that your baby's life would be lost along with it. It meant she would have to endure yet another loss of someone she deeply loved.

Ellie's mind raced, her breath quickening with every passing thought. Tears streamed down her face, her chest rising rapidly with the weight of the decision before her. Her lips quivered as she bit down on her bottom lip.

What she would give to be the one to die instead.

The baby she could've raised.

Her hand tightened around the knife.

The baby she had dreamed of carrying.

Swiftly, Ellie pulled the blade, the sharp "shling!" sound muffling your groans as blood began to pour out.

The baby she would've killed for.

Urgently, Ellie applied the torn cloth to your wound, her hands working quickly despite their shaking. She pressed down firmly, trying to control the flow of blood as best as she could.

You clenched your teeth, suppressing the cries of pain that wanted to escape your lips. Every movement sent waves of agony through your body, but you gritted your teeth and endured. Your face was completely drenched in tears and snot.

You had lost everything—the future you had daydreamed about.

Ellie's arms shook as she patched you up, her body convulsing with sobs, her bottom lip bitten to muffle them. Tears streamed down her face, falling onto your skin.

"Ellie.." you whispered, your voice barely a breath.

───

"Ellie.." you repeated.

You stood before her, your presence causing her eyes to flicker as if what was before her was unreal. Ellie's gaze dropped to your child, his head resting gently against her chest. For a moment, it seemed she had disappeared entirely, lost in a memory.

"I..." Ellie began, her voice choked as she looked back up at you, tears glistening in her eyes. "I can't keep running from it.."

"I need to face it.” Ellie continued, her tone serious. "For you, for our child... for myself. I need to change, to become someone you can rely on, someone worthy of your love."

Your heart pounded, each beat a flicker of hope. You realized in that moment, the true reason you couldn't fully accept Ellie's presence this morning. Despite her being in bed with you after months of being absent, she remained unrecognizable. She wasn't the woman you had fallen for, the woman who once held a place in your heart.

"I'll.. find you again, I promise," Ellie said finally, her voice firm. "No matter what it takes, I'll find my way back to you."

Finally.

Ellie's words created something, a belief that maybe, just maybe, things could change for the better.

With tear-filled eyes, you gently squeezed her hand.

—

Tommy’s truck sat parked in the driveway, hauling boxes filled with you and your child’s belongings. With a heavy sigh, you struggled to carry one of the larger boxes towards the truck.

“That’s a heavy one, let me get it for ya,” Tommy offered, stepping forward to take it.

“Thank you,” you replied gratefully

“No problem,” he responded with a chuckle, making his way towards the truck.

As Tommy loaded the remaining boxes, you took a moment to glance around the mostly-empty house. Most of its decorations had been packed away, leaving the space feeling a bit bare., Ellie’s belongings being the only ones untouched.

"Mama! Mama!" Your child's voice yelled, filled with excitement as he raced towards you. "I checked the whole house and no more boxes!"

You smiled proudly at him. "Thank you, honey," you said, reaching out to ruffle his hair as he giggled happily.

You had explained to him that you were moving into a new home, and that Ellie wouldn't be joining you right away. Instead, she would stay at the farmhouse, protecting it from monsters until she was sure it was safe. Only then would she come to live with you. It was the easiest way to explain the situation to him, and he had undoubtedly understood.

"Hey," Ellie called out as she walked outside

"Hey," you greeted, offering her a warm smile. "We're all ready to go."

She nodded softly, her gaze shifting to your child. "Did you secure the house?"

Your child giggled, rushing towards Ellie and embracing her tight hug before doing a playful salute. "All clear!"

Ellie chuckled, ruffling your child's hair playfully. "Good job, kiddo."

"Alright, everything's packed and ready to roll," Tommy announced, clasping his hands together. "Oh, but uh, mind if I use yer bathroom real quick?"

Ellie nodded, gesturing towards the house. "Door to your left."

"Gotcha," Tommy replied, hurrying inside.

Ellie approached you, her steps hesitant. She reached for your hand, her touch gentle as she caressed it softly with her thumb. The sensation of your skin against hers stirred something deep within her, a longing she hadn't realized she harbored so intensely.

"I..." Ellie hesitated. She wanted to say the words, those three simple words that held so much. But she knew she didn't have the right to utter them, not yet. She had to prove herself, show you that she was worthy of saying them, and that you could believe in them too.

As you gazed into her eyes, you saw her determination. It was a silent promise, to do whatever it took to earn back your trust and love.

"make us..believe again," you said, meeting her gaze.

Ellie nodded firmly.

You offered Ellie a final smile before lifting your child into your arms. "Take care, Els,"

"Take care, Mommy! Keep the monsters away!" your child chimed in.

"I will," Ellie replied, her voice filled with reassurance as she waved goodbye to both of you while you walked towards the truck.

Tommy emerged from the house, embracing Ellie before stepping back and shaking her hand firmly. "Be safe," he said.

"Don't worry," Ellie responded, feeling the paper Tommy slipped into her hand. "I am."

With a firm nod, Tommy walked away towards the truck, getting inside and starting the engine. As the truck began to move, Ellie waved goodbye, your child's head poking out of the window as he waved back. The truck slowly but surely disappeared into the distance,.

Ellie lowered her hand from waving goodbye, clutching the paper tightly in her grasp. With heavy steps, she entered the house, shutting the door behind her with a loud thud. Throwing the folded paper onto the kitchen table, she quickly ascended the stairs to your old shared bedroom.

Opening the door, Ellie headed directly for the closet, rummaging through it until her fingers found the familiar grip of her shotgun—the same one she had drunkenly tried finding that one night. Gotcha.

Snatching up her packed backpack, Ellie hurried back downstairs, clutching her shotgun firmly. At the kitchen table, she placed her bag on its surface, extracting shotgun shells and loading them into the weapon. Placing the gun on the table before unfolding the paper.

A tourist map of Seattle.

Ellie's lips curled into a smirk as she scanned the map thoroughly. "Huh, you’re still there," she muttered, eagerness coursing through her veins.

Stuffing the map into her pocket and slinging her backpack over her shoulders, Ellie grabbed her shotgun once more. With ease, she cocked the weapon, the familiar click echoing.

She was truly going to face her past.

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie fanfic #ellie angst #farm ellie

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allfearstofallto · 3 months

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I think sometimes that Childe’s darling had miscarriages too, with all that stress he put her in she probably would experience a miscarriage but I still don’t know what his reaction would be to either blame her or himself for that. Maybe he would even accuse her of causing it intentionally idk he’s unpredictable🤷🏻‍♀️

-🧚🏻‍♀️

TW: Mentions of pregnancy, baby trapping

Reader actually has no miscarriages with Childe! If you're willing to believe that and she definitely couldn't try to force one either. Both children were indeed an accident though, with Damon being slightly less of an accident (?).

Adonis was conceived on consummation night, shortly after the wedding. It takes much too long for you to even realize you're pregnant, the stress of the entire situation weighing on you. But when you do, it's already a little too late. When you notice, Childe notices as well. And overjoyed doesn't even begin to describe what he's feeling. If there's one thing he is good at, it's caring for children, and that does include the one in your belly. You're pampered the entire time, but you're also, never ever left alone. He knows better than to trust you with his offspring.

Damon on the other hand, was partially planned, partially not. He was more spoken about as Adonis got older and less affectionate towards his father. Ajax would sulk and whine, begging you for another and insinuating that he wasn't going to use protection anymore. There are two ways I think it happened, either you gave in and relented, allowing him to put another baby in you or he had something you really really wanted, particularly, the chance to see your family who you missed oh so dearly.

#mai<3 answers #🧚‍♀️ anon #genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #yandere genshin #yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere x you #yandere genshin x reader #yandere childe x reader #yandere childe #yandere imagines

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 1 year

Text

Pairing : BF!Lee Felix x F!Reader TW : pregnancy ; no childbirth (yet?) ; mention of an abortion ; Felix is a POS ; angst no fluff ; Word Count : 2.5k Request : @lovesunshinefelix : can I get an angsty felix request diff from his pregnancy series wherein felix is an absolute fucking asshole and left the reader when he found out they were pregnant, u decide what happens next surprise me AN : I hope that you are thoroughly surprised by this, I hate making him the asshole honestly, but at the same time I absolutely love it!! I just love writing stuff like this!! I hope you love this girlie, this is for you!

Double pink lines showed on all six white tests that were evenly spaced along the bathroom counter. They were dark, they were undeniable, not a single discrepancy is any of them. It was a fact now… You were pregnant, and your boyfriend… he was on tour, for the next three months.

It’s not that you didn’t want to tell him, it was quite the opposite actually. You wanted him to know, but he was such a sweetheart, he cared about you so much, you knew that if you told him during the tour, he’d drop everything just to come home and be with you. It was the early stages of your pregnancy, and you knew that for now, you’d be able to handle whatever was thrown your way, whether it be symptoms or doctors appointments. It was easier to hide right now too, you didn’t have to worry about him catching on. If he questioned why you hid it from him, your main reason was that you weren’t sure if the pregnancy was 100% yet. The first 12 weeks were the scariest and the most uncertain, and you didn’t want him or yourself to get too excited, especially if it ended in a miscarriage. It was a valid reason, and it had you keeping your mouth shut until he came through the front door.

Unexpected and unplanned was the announcement at your 12 week ultrasound, that not only were you pregnant, but you were having twins. Two babies, and you rightfully panicked for a second because that was… It wasn’t planned to even get pregnant with one, let alone two, but you knew that with Felix by your side, you’d be able to get through it. He was the ray of sunshine that you held tightly onto whenever things seemed to be a little too hectic, or when things started to feel like a little too much.

As the weeks passed on though, you started to just… Get used to the fact that you were carrying two children, and maybe it was a maternal instinct, maybe it was the fact that they were his children, or maybe it was a bit of both that had you growing excited even at the thought of having this little family with him. You couldn’t wait to tell Felix, you couldn’t wait to officially start this journey into parenthood with him by your side. It would only be a couple more days until he came back home, and now you were giddily counting down the days to tell him the exciting news.

“I think we caught every single red light on the way here.” Felix exclaimed as he trodded through the front door, his suitcases parked off to the side as he kicked off his shoes. “Hey, angel… You look beautiful as always. Did ya miss me?” He asked, the irritation that had initially coated his words seemed to be shaken off as soon as he laid eyes on you sitting on the couch. Your smile was bright as you watched him, anticipation building in your stomach and sending a shiver through you.

“Of course I did. I always miss you.” You chimed from the couch, making sure to keep yourself covered with the thick throw blanket so that he wouldn’t see your stomach. It had grown quite a lot already, something that was both shocking, but also expected considering you were having twins. “How was the flight?” You wanted to make small talk, just so he could get settled back in before you dropped the news on him, although you were quite certain he’d take it well, you just didn’t want to shock him immediately.

He rolled his shoulders and his neck, stretching his arms up as he walked into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge to grab a bottle of water before making his way to the couch to drop down beside you. “It was good, not as comfortable as being able to sit or lay beside you, but it was bearable. Changbin didn’t snore too loud behind me, so I got a good amount of sleep so I’d be well rested when I got home to you.” His arm draped over your shoulder as he leaned against you. “I couldn’t wait to see you again.”

Now was your chance, he was in a good mood, he was rested, he was close to you, now all you had to do was tell him. “I couldn’t wait to see you either… I’ve got some pretty big news to tell you.” Even though you were almost 100% certain that he’d take it well, you couldn’t help the jitters that coursed through your body causing your voice to tremble with your nerves. His eyes widened as well as his smile, his body turning almost completely to give you his full attention before nodding to you to tell you to continue. “I’m… I’m pregnant! They're twins!”

And while your excitement seemed to grow exponentially from telling him, his dwindled to nothing almost immediately. His smile fell and his eyes wavered, his hands pulling away from yours to fold in his lap. “You’re… Sure about this? You’ve… You’ve been to the doctors and everything for it?” He questioned, and maybe he was just nervous about getting excited too soon, so you quickly nodded, reaching out to grab his hands in an act of reassurance that everything would be okay, that everything was okay, but he moved his hands away from yours, shoving them in his pockets as he jumped up off the couch. “How far along are you?” He blurted out quite harshly, and while you were used to him apologizing almost immediately after sounding so rude, the apology never came.

“I’m… Almost four months…” You whispered, slowly pulling back the blanket to show him the swell of your stomach, and you saw his chest rise, puffing out with the large breath that he took in. “It’s okay though… They’re okay, they’re healthy.” You once again tried to reassure him, assuming that his panic was caused by not being there when you found out.

“I don’t care about that! I’ve got five months to figure out how the hell I’m going to juggle my job and paying child support to not just one, but two fucking kids!” He rambled, but the mention of child support had your head tilting to the side, your lips parting to question what he meant, but you couldn’t seem to find the words. “Don’t look at me like that… You know that I can’t do this. I’m too fucking young to deal with my job and two fucking kids. I didn’t want this… You threw this on me!”

With every single word, it was like a vicious attack, and that beautiful future that you had spent the past couple weeks imagining started to spin, like a tornado, the images a whirling vortex that were sent down the drain. “I thought… I thought that you’d be happy. You always talked about having a life together… Spending forever together… Where did that go?” The sight of him rolling his eyes had your stomach tightening and your nerves kicking into overdrive. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go… This wasn’t what you had planned on at all. “I-I.. I didn’t want this either… I’m young too…”

He scoffed, his nose crinkled into a look of disgust as his eyes flickered down to your stomach and then up to your face. “I didn’t ask you to keep them. If you would have told me sooner, I would have told you to abort it, get rid of it.” It was like a stab, a gunshot, there was bile rising in your throat at the thought of getting rid of the two little beans that had become such a big part of you, you honestly couldn’t imagine not having them in your tummy. “And don’t even try to make it seem like I’m the bad guy in this. You sprung this shit on me as soon as I got back from a fucking tour… That should have been your first sign. I mean, what did you think would happen? Everything would be sunshine and rainbows and I’d be this happy go lucky guy somehow maintaining a career where I’m constantly in the fucking spotlight, during brand sponsorships and bunch of other shit… And you just… You expect me to have time for you? For children? You’ve gotta be out of your mind.”

And maybe you were, maybe you had lost sense of the reality of your relationship and how hard it was to actually see him, how little you spent time with him. Maybe you really were out of your mind as he had said, thinking that being pregnant would somehow bring him closer to you instead of pushing him away. “I wasn’t going to do that…” You mumbled, your hand moving down to rub over your stomach, seeming to be your own source of comfort now that Felix was clearly disgusted by you. “You don’t have to worry about anything… You don’t even have to pay child support. You’re right… I sprung this on you and… You obviously don’t want any parts of it. I’m not going to force you…”

Letting out a humorless chuckle, he folded his arms over his chest, glaring down at you. “Oh, sure. You say that, but once it gets to be too much for you, you’ll be trying to take me to court. It’ll make front page news online and then you’ll get the pity party. I can see it now.” It was pretty eye opening to see now just how lowly he thought of you. You had been blinded by the rays of sunshine that seemed to radiate off of him whenever he was around, but it was like you had put on sunglasses, you could block those out, and now you could see who he truly was.

“I’m not taking you to court.” You snapped, having enough of him being not just an asshole, but ruthlessly so. “You’re not the man that I thought you were, and you’re definitely not the man that I want in my children’s lives, so you don’t have to worry about me trying to force you to do anything or asking for your money. I don’t want your money, because like you said, I can see it now. All of the fans that follow you like you’re some kind of fucking god will call me a gold digger and a bunch of other awful shit, and to be quite honest, I don’t need that and neither do my kids. So once you walk out of that door, I’m done. I’m done with you and everything that has to do with you. The only part of you that I love now are the children that you gave me, the children that you don’t want.”

Your entire body was trembling, and the tears flowed freely down your cheeks. They weren’t tears of sadness though, they were tears of anger, unable to hold back the burst of emotions that coursed through you, and unable to channel them properly. “Promise?” He snidely cracked back at you, and it was the final nail in the coffin. He wasn’t who you thought he was at all, he was nothing like the way his fans portrayed him. It was all an act, and the character that he had been playing as was gone now, revealing the true Felix that you had mistakenly fallen in love with.

“Promise.” You retorted flatly, finally pushing yourself up off the couch and walking to the door, and with your back turned to him, you hadn’t caught the way he his jaw had dropped when finally seeing you fully, you hadn’t caught the way his fingers twitched to reach out to grab you, the way his eyes blinked a few times to snap him back to reality just a little too late. “I’ll pack your stuff up and leave it on the porch, I’ll text you when I’m all done, and then I’ll block your number and delete it so you don’t have to worry about me bothering you. You can move on with your life and your career.” You said as you grabbed the suitcases and wheeled them to the center of the entryway. “You already have some of your stuff to leave with.” You pulled open the front door, moving over to the side to give him room to walk out. “Bye.”

The damage was already done, and it’s not like you’d believe him or even be willing to listen if he tried to go back on his words right now, so he kept up with the act, sneering at you as he grabbed his luggage and wheeled it out the front door, stepping out onto the porch. Maybe if he turned around one last time and you saw the look of regret in his eyes you’d let him talk, but the door was already being slammed shut, and the locks clicked, and he knew that you were probably already breaking down on the couch, a complete mess because of what he had said.

There was nothing he could do now except trudge over to the side of the road, his phone gripped tightly in his shaking hands as he texted his leader, asking to be picked up. Twins… he wasn’t ready for it, he wasn’t in the right place in his life to take on that kind of responsibility… But he hadn’t even given himself a chance to try. He immediately attacked you, and maybe it was the jet lag or the stress from just coming back home and simply wanting to enjoy one evening without having something else to worry about… But none of those things were truly an excuse for what he had said or the way he behaved because you were surely more stressed than him, and now that stress had quadrupled all because of him.

Twins… Two children, his own children, little drops of sun that were part him, and part you. You, the only person who he ever loved before, the only person he could ever see himself loving… And he ruined it. A family, one that he’d never get to spend time with, that he had so easily given up on as if it wasn’t important at all. Sons… Daughters… Maybe one of each… He’d never get to meet them though. He’d never get to experience that feeling of holding his children for the first time or watching them take their first steps. He’d never feel that excitement as he bore witness to each and every milestone. He gave all of that up the second he started his rant, the second those thoughts weasel’d their way into his mind and were actually spoken. Maybe he’d watch from a distance, living the life that he turned his back on through pictures or videos that you hopefully might post online. It wouldn’t be the same… But it was all he would have, all he would ever have.

Permanent TL : @whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me

@mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin @his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes @grannyindehouse @cutie-wooyo @felixmainacc

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viaoverthemoon · 1 year

Note

I have a small request here too✋ I was thinking about Leon (damnation maybe) x fem!reader with reader being his daughter's kindergarten teacher, and the little one falls in love with her and wants to spend more time with reader, and Leon he finds himself forced to accept this, so he falls in love with the reader. It can be with smut at the end or just something romantic, it doesn't matter.

I hope I explained it ok, I've had this idea in my head for some time but I don't know how to express it 😂❤️❤️

Oooo this sounds so cute stawpppp.

Since I have another fic in the works that's drenched in smut, I'll keep this one fluffy. ;)

Damnation!Leon Kennedy x Fem!Reader

Summary: You're a kindergarten teacher for Leon Kennedy's daughter and she wants to keep you forever!

Tw: Fluff, Mention of deceased relative, Mention of past miscarriage

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Enjoy! <3

To Belong

❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁

"Congratulations, Arabella! It looks like you're our student of the week!"

You gently place the pin on Arabella's shirt, smiling widely at her proud expression.

Being a kindergarten teacher definitely has its downs. But also has its ups as well. One of those ups being the honor of teaching these innocent children. Every day is something new, a new experience that makes you realize the importance of raising the next generation.

Arabella turns towards you, smiling so wide her cheeks must hurt. She grabs onto your leg. "Thank you, Miss (L/N)! This means so much to me!"

You smile down at her, proud of her for using the feelings lesson you'd taught her, and crouch to her level to give her a hug. "You're welcome, Arabella! I'm so proud of you. Thank you for being such a kind student!"

She seems to take your praise very seriously, being super kind to her classmates and staying by you side, asking if you need help or service in any kind of way.

❁

At the end of the day when everyone has left, you sit alone at your desk.

Whilst flipping from one graded paper to another, the door to your classroom creaks open.

You raise your head just in time to see Arabella run into the room, screaming with her arms in the air. "MISS (L/N)!!!!"

You laugh as she runs around your desk and hugs you, babbling nonsense excitedly. "Oh my goodness! Back so soon, Arabella?"

She gives a hyper nod. "Yes!"

"'Yes ma'am', Bella."

Your eyes snap up, locking with a pair of bright blues.

You look at him, surprised.

The man held a strong resemblance to Arabella, minus the straight blonde hair Arabella carried. They shared blue eyes and a soft face. If anything, his rough exterior yet light features suited him. Gave him a mysterious and alluring air that draws people to him, searching to learn more about him.

"Oh- yes ma'am- Daddy look, look! This is the nice teacher I was telling you about!"

You rise from your chair and hold out a hand with a smile. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Kennedy."

He shakes your hand and offers a nod. "Pleasure to meet you too, Miss (L/N). As you can see, I've heard quite a lot about you."

He gives his daughter a pointed look that makes you laugh. You gesture to the seat across from your desk, offering him a seat as you settle back into your chair. "I assume there's a reason you're here that I could help you with?"

Mr. Kennedy sits in the chair, seemingly tired as he falls into the seat and instinctively spreads his legs.

You try your hardest not to acknowledge the action, but your eyes fail you, flickering down his frame for half a second before returning to his face.

You instantly regret your mistake when he smirks at you, straightening up just a bit and resting his arms on his legs. "Actually, I was hoping to discuss what Arabella's behaviors are like while she's at school, as well as how she's learning." He pauses. "I mean, obviously if she's getting student of the month for the 2nd time, she's doing pretty good."

He smiles and playfully ruffles Arabella's hair, earning a laugh from the 5-year-old. "But still. It would be nice to hear from her teacher, not her."

You clear your throat and nod, turning away to escape the burn of his gaze and pulling out a folder labeled A.K., Arabella Kennedy's character chart.

"Of course, I understand. Let's start with how she handles assignments."

❁

After about 45 minutes of talking, Leon seems satisfied with his daughter's school life and begins to pack up his things to leave. But Arabella becomes upset, running to you and refusing to let go of your leg.

"No! I'm not ready to say bye to Miss (L/N) yet!"

She throws the standard child tantrum, small tears streaming down her reddened puffed out cheeks as you gently try to coax her into letting go.

"Arabella... Don't be upset. You'll see me again on Monday-"

But she's relentless, shaking her head and kicking away Mr. Kennedy's hands as he tries to reach for her.

Eventually, he sighs and looks at you embarrassingly. "I'm so sorry Miss (L/N). She's hardly ever like this."

Seeing as this is something you deal with all the time, you just shake your head, offering a small smile. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to this behavior... I'm about to leave for the day. If you guys want, we could go out for a quick dinner? This way, we won't have to part so soon."

This gets the crying 5-year-old to quiet down almost immediately. She looks up from your leg, tears and snot smeared all over your pant leg. "Really? Can we?"

You look up at Mr. Kennedy, raising a brow for conformation. And, seeing as there was no way around it, he gives in.

❁

And from that moment forward, you and the Kennedy family became quite close.

You shared a few dinners and spent time together at amusement parks and entertainment events, eventually becoming so close that you'd even watch Arabella when Leon had to leave for reasons of his job.

You listen to his stories, and he listens to yours.

He shares how he and Arabella have no one else to depend on. Her mother, although she and Leon didn't have a good relationship, had died during childbirth. And how he'd lost his own parents long ago, growing up an orphan and not having much.

And you share only having your parents. You could have had a little one yourself, but unfortunately grieved a harsh miscarriage and the father of the child leaving soon after didn't help.

You both end up having more in common than you'd originally thought.

And now, you share more than just experiences and memories. Now, you share shy looks and ghostly touches.

Somedays his hand will graze yours and you both will avoid each other's gaze, ignoring the sudden spark that comes when you make contact.

That is until, one night Leon returns from a particularly long job to find you curled up on his living room couch with a book in hand, reading glasses perched on the bridge of your nose.

"Hey, sorry for the long night. Never meant to be gone that long." He shrugs off his leather jacket and throws it over the arm of his second couch.

You eye his fatigued figure for a moment before removing your glasses and putting down your book. "No, it's alright. You know I don't mind, Leon."

Sitting up, you pat the spot next to you on the couch, offering him a seat. "Arabella's upstairs asleep in her room..." He gives a soft grunt and falls on the couch, rubbing the back of his neck while nodding and muttering a 'Good. Thank you.'

Eyes skillfully assessing his behavior, you decide to ask him the question that's been on your mind. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

He glances at you through his peripheral but instantly looks away. "Yes. I'm fine. You can go now."

In all honesty, the way he suggested you leaving hurt your feelings. But you didn't relent. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to stay..."

Reaching a hand out, you place it on top of his on his lap. He flinches slightly, but doesn't push you away. He pauses for a second...

And then he relaxes, flipping his hand over to wrap it around yours.

Your heart is in your throat and the palms of your hands begin to sweat. But you don't show it, smiling shyly at Leon and holding his hand.

He doesn't look at you. Doesn't show any signs that he acknowledges you besides the fact that he isn't letting go of your hand. "Why do you stay? Why do you want to stay?"

The monotone question catches you off guard. You momentarily freeze as his eyes find you.

Blue frozen glaciers filled with oceans and rivers of pure sadness and regret. The emotion in his eyes makes you briefly wonder where he finds the space for the happiness he feels with Arabella.

Or if he'll have the space for happiness with you.

You take a moment to think, looking down at your linked hands and gliding a thumb over the warmth of his skin. "I feel happiest when I'm here with the two of you. As you know, I don't have much. All I've had to look forward to has been my students... but now... I have the both of you."

You look him in the eyes, trying to convey your emotions through the look in yours. "These past few weeks have been the best I've lived through in years... I'm tired of living alone, Leon. Life is worth so much more when you spend it with somebody else."

He looks at you in shock, not sure what to say about your sudden confession. His mouth opens and closes like a fish, trying to choose the right words to say.

You look away bashfully. "Er- What I'm trying to say is... I'd like it if we could spend... more time together. And see each other more often. But-! It's completely up to you, of course."

For a moment, the silence is nerve wracking. You try not to fidget too much or show that you're anxious in awaiting his answer.

You're beginning to lose hope when Leon's hands are suddenly on your hips.

You're so surprised by his actions that you hardly notice him gently coaxing you into sitting on his lap.

Your legs straddle his thighs, backside rested on his knees when you suddenly notice your position. Your face burns hot, and you rest your hands on his shoulders.

His hands find purchase on your waist. "If I'm being honest, I expected you to leave us a long time ago... I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't think you'd stay."

He caresses your sides, warm hands heating through the fabric of your clothes. "And... I would like it- a lot if you stayed with us. Not only would you make me happy, but you'd make Arabella happy too. And that matters more than anything."

You pretend to ponder on your decision, looking away with a small smile on your face before turning back to Leon. "Well... I guess I can stick around-"

The sentence barely leaves your lips before Leon pulls you in, kissing you with so much relieved passion that you momentarily feel dizzy.

And for once, you feel like you truly belong somewhere.

Yes. This feeling is definitely one you can get used to.

❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁

Nobody: My inbox screaming and crying for help: 😓😭😭☠️ Me with 0 internet or data: 🧍🏾‍♀️💃📖

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