#tw implied Pokémon harm

[ariadosanon]

Idk if it’s like something there’s a CONSENSUS on or WHAT but I want to know before I get one.

[iheartnimbassacity]

[Btz. This has been typed using Speech to Text. I did this without her permission. She can not type right now.]

Im sorry im so fucking sorry she only let 36 survive i failed them i failed John please im sorry why did this have to happen they shouldnt have had to die please let this be a bad dream i couldnt keep them safe i promised to be safe i promised to be safe why did i take so much work why did i travel they would be ok they would be safe and happy and alive. Why did i leave why please forgive me please im sorry.

[atlas-hephaestus]

The Sanctuary of Glimwood Tangle

Chapter five - A Haunting Cry

“Do you feel better now?” Azimuth said while petting Titus’s head, he nodded, she suddenly got an urgent message from one of her close friends who worked with her,

“I have to go sweetheart… try to keep daddy still and keep Honeydew company, he’s been wanting to play with you!” Azimuth said, looking at Atlas while kissing his forehead, she rushed outside and into a trailer,

“That bad, huh?” She sighed, her friend nodded. They took off and arrived at a unkempt building, Azimuth walked inside and saw a horrible sight, a very young Grimmsnarl pup muzzled and chained to the floor,

“Authorities just raided this small fur farm a couple days ago, this was the only Grimmsnarl that was in here, I guess they went after the poor thing because of its vulnerability” the coworker said,

“I suggest you stay back” she added, Azimuth shook her head and slowly walked into the dirty steel cage, the pup was too exhausted to move, he started to tremble,

“Hey there buddy… it’s okay… I’m not going to hurt you…” Azimuth said in a soothing tone, she knelt down in front of the pup and reached her hand out, he slowly crawled forward and sniffed her hand, she smiled and gently took the muzzle off his face, it had dug into his skin,

“It’s okay now… you’re safe now!” She said, stroking the terrified Grimmsnarl’s head, she used her strength to break off the steel shackle around his neck, it had dug into the skin and made a nasty wound, the same was with the shackles on his limbs,

“Don’t worry sweetheart… I’ll fix you up!” She said while temporarily bandaging his wounds, she gently pulled him into her arms, rubbing his back and bouncing him slightly like the way you’d bounce a baby in your arms, the pup whimpered and broke out in tears, his cries were weak but loud, it was something Azimuth had never heard before, he was crying as hard as his little body could allow it, his cries were of pain and suffering, his ears were drooped down as far as they could go and his sunken eyes were filled with tears, Azimuth wrapped the distressed pup in a blanket and walked outside with him still sobbing with little signs of stopping, she got into the back of the trailer and sat up against the wall on its cushioned floor and walls, she gently bounced him in her arms while making quiet hushing noises, she sang lullabies to him throughout the ride back to the sanctuary, when she arrived the pup was still crying but not as much as he was when he was loaded into the trailer, Azimuth thanked her friend and took him into the medical wing and into the room with Titus and the others in it, they sat in the corner munching on watermelon and various other fruits, Honeydew was quietly sitting and eating on Atlas’s lap, Azimuth put a blanket on the stainless steel examination table and put the pup on it.

“It’s okay sweetie! You’re gonna feel a little pinch right away!” Azimuth said before quickly and painlessly injecting him with numbing medicine, she removed the dug in shackles from his neck, wrists and shin revealing nasty wounds that needed to be stitched up, she used heavy duty stitches and wrapped the stitched wounds with protective bandages and put small casts on his feet, she picked up the groggy Grimmsnarl pup and cradled him,

“You did such a good job… I’m so proud of you!” She said while caressing his head, she put an oxygen mask on him and sat down with him tightly nestled in her arms,

“Do you have a name?” Azimuth asked while rubbing his snout,

“P-Pluto…” he said weakly,

“Pluto? Aww! That’s such a pretty name! It’s nice to meet you Pluto!” Azimuth said, kissing his forehead. Azimuth sat down beside Titus with Pluto in her arms,

“How’re you feeling, sweetheart?” She said, rubbing Titus’s shoulder, he nodded and gave her a lick on her cheek, she giggled and patted his head,

“That’s good!” She said, giving the mighty alpha a kiss on his cheek. Azimuth rocked Pluto in her arms, quietly humming a lullaby while caressing his small head, he let out a small whine and tried to take the oxygen mask off,

“No no, that has to stay on sweetheart…” she gently moved his hand away from the mask, the pup whimpered in frustration,

“Here, you can hold onto this!” Azimuth gave him a little rattle, his eyes widened and he shook it lightly, babbling and cooing happily, she took the oxygen mask off his face and set him on the cushion with Pixie, Titus and Atlas, Pixie got on her knees in front of Pluto, she gently poked his belly, the pup giggled and crawled to her, Atlas sat in front of him, Pluto was a lot smaller than Atlas, he was only eight years old, he showed obvious signs of his young age, he had very little teeth, his tusks were very short and blunt, he was still learning how to walk and his speech slightly limited, he also had evidence of starvation and malnutrition, gaunt face with sunken eyes, very little muscle mass, bones could be seen and felt. Azimuth noticed that Pluto wasn’t moving one of his legs, she went to put her hand on it, he flinched and let out a whimper she had never heard before,

“Does your leg hurt?” She asked while petting his head, he nodded and let out a little whimper,

“I tried to get out but bad men hit me hard…” he said while holding back tears,

“Oh you poor thing…” Azimuth said as she gently scooped him up,

“You’re safe now… I promise, you’re in a loving place, I’ll take good care of you!” She said as she carried him to a separate room with a machine in it, she laid him down on a small metal table,

“Don’t move sweetheart, I’m just gonna take a little picture of you!” She said in a sweet tone, after a minute she picked the little Grimmsnarl up and went to a small computer room,

“Poor baby… you have a broken leg…” she said in a worried tone,

“Don’t worry sweetheart, it’s not that bad, you just need to wear a little splint for a couple weeks” she said, getting a specially made splint and gently putting it on his leg, she carried him back to the main examining room, Titus was leaned up against the wall in the corner, she went over to him with Pluto nestled in her arms, she sat up against his arm which he immediately wrapped around her and pulled her in for a hug, she smiled and sat Pluto down on her lap, Titus gently stroked the pup’s head, letting out a happy growl, Azimuth slowly removed the bandages around Titus’s chest, she looked at the stab wound she stitched up in his back, it no longer needed the bandages to protect it, it was almost healed up, Pluto curled up on Titus’s lap. Azimuth gave Titus a tight hug and a kiss on his cheek, he let out a happy moan, she gave him a sardine, she offered a sardine to Pluto and he grabbed it and devoured it, she smiled and gave him the rest which he also devoured, Titus lowered his ears and let out a huff, Azimuth noticed and got up and walked to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, he laid back and allowed her to lay down on his chest, this was a common practice for Azimuth, she always cuddled with the Grimmsnarls. Titus let out a relaxed sigh and gently ran his claws through her hair, she rested her head on his shoulder, his hair was soft and dense.

“You’re like a big teddy bear!” Azimuth said jokingly, gently caressing Titus’s hair, she continued to snuggle with him, she kissed him and patted his head before picking Pluto up and putting him in Honeydew’s crib, the Morgrem and Grimmsnarl looked at each other, the two were starting to get tired, it was Honeydew’s nap time, the two curled up with each other before falling asleep. Atlas ran up to Azimuth and hugged her, he still had his swimming aids on, Azimuth smiled and lifted him up with a giggle.

“Yes sweetie! We can cuddle! How about we all go into the living room first?” She said, she quietly rolled the crib out into the large living room, Atlas had gotten another ring, it had a blue crystal-like pattern on it, he put it on Azimuth’s lap and smiled,

“Is this for me?” She said, her smile turning into a grin, Atlas nodded,

“Your giant has blue crystals!” He said, referring to Azimuth’s Leviathan Titan,

“Awww! Thank you so much sweetheart! I’ll take good care of it!” She said, giving the fluffy little Grimmsnarl a tight hug, she laid back on the large couch, Atlas sat on her lap, still wearing his beloved red ring and black and green armbands, she smiled and gently poked one of his armbands, he gave her a certain look to which she sighed and did what he wanted her to do, one order that Azimuth knows just from a simple facial expression from Atlas, that simple request was for her to blow his swimming aids up, she happily agreed, Azimuth kinda found it a tiny bit annoying, Atlas would let some air out of his ring and armbands if they were a little too tight or just to feel more comfortable in them, also partly because he sometimes wanted them to feel a little plushy, he would always get Azimuth to blow them up because he was worried about his teeth or tusks getting in the way and damaging them, though Azimuth liked to help him because she loved seeing him happy. Once she was finished with his swimming aids, Azimuth gave Atlas a tight squeeze, he giggled and hugged back, his ring pressing and squishing against Azimuth’s belly, she smiled and took his ring off and set it aside, he rested his head on her chest, the sound of her heartbeat soothed him, she smiled and took out a brush and put it beside her, she gently caressed his head and back.

“I love you so much!” Azimuth said, as she held Atlas in her arms like a baby, Atlas trilled happily and nestled into her arms, putting his thumb into his mouth and sucking on it, she grabbed a nearby blanket and wrapped him up with it,

“My sweet little baby” she said, rubbing the half asleep pup’s snout, Pixie snuggled up beside her, she let out a little chuff, she gently brushed Pixie’s head, Pixie let out a little coo.

“I love you guys so much!” Azimuth said happily,

“I love you too, mama!” Atlas replied, Azimuth smiled and kissed him on the forehead, she also gave Pixie a kiss, running her fingers through her silky white hair.

[maliceincandyland]

James (Pokémon) & His Inner Demons

James is a gangster who struggles with depression and has a paralyzing fear of commitment, but he’s a fighter.

James’s Past

TW: Abuse

James grew up wealthy, but left home when he was around 10. His private tutors were physically abusive whenever he got something wrong or showed emotion (AG147). His ex-fiancée, Jessibelle, was emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. We see her try to r*** him onscreen and she’s done it in the past (Japanese version: “This is... the same stuff... you used last time.” English dub: “This is just like... This is just like... last time.”). His parents help her assault him because he’s only useful to them as someone who can produce heirs. They also didn’t let him have toys. He collected bottle caps in secret, but his mother threw them away whenever she found them (XY85).

In my opinion, James seemed to imply that he doesn’t want kids, with anyone, because of his parents’ abuse. That is, in SM46, Ash’s friend Lillie says that it’s unfair that her toxic mother expects her to bend over backwards for her. In the Japanese version, James says to Jessie, “Such is the fate between parents’ relationships with their children.” I take that to mean that he doesn’t like the idea of having kids, because only two episodes later, Professor Burnett drops the hint to Professor Kukui that she wants kids and he blushes. (As for Jessie, she’s never fantasized about having kids.)

James met Jessibelle at a ball abroad in his social circles. He got excited that someone noticed him for once and he thought she was pretty. In the DP series, so like half-way through the Pokémon series, he says that he was in “love” with her (Japanese and dub versions say “love”) but she broke his heart. He says this was the primary reason that he left home (DP153). Physical harm was one thing but manipulating his feelings hurt much more. When talking about this, his voice sounds like he’s going to cry, and he smiles when he recalls writing her a love letter. This makes me think that in DP, he thought that some part of him was still in love with her. Curiously, when James sees Jessibelle for the first time in years (Kanto 48), a jazzy noir-sounding song plays that’s called “Hiya, Hot Stuff!”

Of course, it isn’t love. Attraction, sure. But, during DP, he still had PTSD from her abuse, so any ‘feelings’ for her after they first met would be Stockholm Syndrome. I think the other reason that he thought he loved Jessibelle is because he doesn't (or didn't in DP) know what love is. Fortunately, he's quite sure that he is no longer in love with Jessibelle (Kanto 48, DP2, DP117, DP153). Even though he hates balls, because of Jessibelle, he manages to be Jessie’s date at a ball (a ball for regular people; not aristocrats) (XY105). He doesn’t enjoy it, but he doesn’t complain out loud, for Jessie’s sake. She has a great time at the ball.

After leaving home, James applied to Pokémon school and met Jessie, who was also applying (Kanto 9, Kanto 48). It would’ve been immediately obvious to him that she looks exactly like Jessibelle. We know that he knows that she looks like Jessibelle (DP153). He could have had genuine feelings for Jessie when he met her. But I think part of him would’ve wanted to have her replace his first love. The catch is that her looking like Jessibelle probably made/makes physical contact, uh, challenging.

James didn’t pass the school’s entrance exam. Jessie did, but she chose not to go (Japanese version of Kanto 9). So they joined a biker gang (Kanto 36, Kanto 48). At some point, they parted ways until they were adults. Jessie ended up joining Team Rocket. Then James joined and seemingly volunteered to be her partner. She was a femme fatale known as The God of Death, so she was always in need of a new partner, as no one wanted to work with her.

Although there are different ways that this flashback can be interpreted, it seems like Jessie and James recognized each other and that Jessie was upset with James (like if he left her or if they had a fight). I interpret it as him having left her because later on (in the Japanese version) he confesses that he tried to outrun his past and has been running away his whole life.

If James joined Team Rocket for Jessie, then that’s a rather grand gesture, because, in Pokémon, gangsters are highly stigmatized. They can leave Team Rocket any time they want to, but they would have trouble finding a job and a significant other. They could change their identity, but that would also be hard on a person. Never, ever telling their significant other and friends who they are and knowing that they wouldn't be accepted. The red "R" on their uniform is almost literally a Scarlet Letter. Three of Jessie and James's friends left Team Rocket, but they started their own businesses and made no attempt to fit in with ordinary society.

In any case, being in Team Rocket empowers James with a sense of confidence (DP139), and he seems to enjoy the military exercises (DP137).

Barbed Wire Fences

James’s traumas affect him throughout the series, but he becomes less and less affected over time.

On the positive side, James has strong boundaries and won't hesitate to cut people who cross them out of his life (Kanto 48, DP153, SM58). He does not allow others to manipulate him, play mind-games with him, or rope him into their drama.

On the other hand, when Jessie tries to get him to talk about how he's feeling, he typically ices her out (DP54, DP55, DP70, DP165, XY85, SM58, ATBAM 9, etc.). In DP117, Jessie saves him and his first instinct is to pretend that he doesn't care. She then tells him to stop lying, and he cuts it out.

When Jessie and James became partners in Team Rocket, he was standoffish. While his heart was in the right place, he was averse to accepting help. Jessie offered him her food ration because he didn't eat anything all day (she didn't either, as she gave the rest of the ration to Meowth), but he turned it down. Then she insisted, so he took it. She tried to keep him from falling in a river, but he intentionally let go of her hand. She tried to keep him from falling down a chute, but he let go of her hand. Anticipating that, she grabbed his wrist, and he got mad and insisted she let go. She refused, and he was moved.

However, he seems to have mostly moved past shutting out loved ones, as he is brutally honest about what he thinks, in SM58.

Heart of Darkness

James’s inner darkness also seems to affect his ability to be a Trainer.

A Pokémon is mostly an extension of its Trainer (ex. JN72). They pick up their Trainer’s mannerisms and interests because Trainer and Pokémon are bonded through their hearts. Sometimes the bond between Trainer and Pokémon is so strong that they can psychically sense where the other one is (XY28, XY30, XY68, ATBAM6). The Gym Leader Korrina calls this being “soulmates” (Japanese version of XY30).

When Pokémon battle, they connect their heart with that of their Trainer. They siphon some energy from the Trainer (a lot of energy if they do a Z-Move, G-Max, or Mega Evolution) and feel each other’s emotions. That’s what they mean when they say that a Trainer has a heart that’s true or a heart that’s pure. Trainers can also send energy to their Pokémon in other situations, like while riding the Pokémon (ex. XY53) or when the Pokémon needs energy to heal (ex. XY105).

Pokémon attacks are relatively weak if Trainer and Pokémon don't connect to each other's hearts, or if the Trainer's heart doesn't feel love. For instance, in AG177, Jessie and James Tag Battle Ash and Brock, using Pokémon on loan from Team Rocket Headquarters. It starts off well for Jessie and James. But battling seems to bring out the true feelings in their hearts because they start arguing about personal issues between them. The Pokémon, even though they don't belong to Jessie and James, start arguing with each other too, because their hearts are connected with Jessie and James for the time being.

In the SM series, characters learn Z-Moves, which are special moves that use the Trainer's auric energy to fuel the attack. The Kahuna (Gym Leader, basically) of Melemele Island, says that Z-Moves allow people to feel a Trainer's emotions, because it brings out a Trainer’s aura. Ash's friend, Kiawe, says that to use a Z-Move, a Pokémon and Trainer's heart have to become one, and then their combined feelings turn into energy that can be used in battle. But they can't be just any feelings; they have to be feelings of love for all living things. When using Z-Moves, they are to focus on their love of community, love for their fellow man, or love of Pokémon.

James's aura would not feel pleasant. It would be full of pain, fear, resentment, betrayal, and loneliness. It reminds of Howl’s Moving Castle when Howl’s depression is triggered. His hair turns black, green slime comes out of him and covers his skin, and dark spirits emerge from the shadows. Actually, the first analogy that came to mind was that feeling James's aura would be like blasting "Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed, but that's neither here nor there.

James makes a point of telling us that he’s black-hearted. In the BW series motto, he says he's "The pure heart of darkness" (Dub: "With thunderous emotion") who is "The hammer of justice in a black universe" (Dub: "Thrusting the hammer of justice down onto the black darkness of the universe."). In the SM series motto, he says he's "An exquisite talent and the perfect gentleman. A disciple of evil fighting back against this tragic world." (Dub: "The nobly heroic man of our times. The master of darkness fighting back against a tragic world.")

In mottos, the darker imagery is afforded to him. The clearest examples are in the BW series. We see James with black darkness behind him; and white light behind Jessie. We see James with a dark purple aura and a black background; and white light behind Jessie. We see James colored all-black and against a white background; and Jessie all-white against a black background.

In the DP series mottos, we see James stomping or hitting the ground and causing earthquakes or volcanic eruptions. We see Jessie soaring through the sky with whirlwinds, gentle wind, or gentle winds carrying rose petals (autumn leaves in AG188). We even see James with hellfire behind him and Jessie floating above him towards celestial white light coming from the heavens.

James's darkness isn't just metaphorical either. He's a mad scientist and a computer hacker who can get pretty lost in the madness. In XY124, he hadn't slept for three nights because he was too obsessed with building his mecha. If Jessie weren't around  to balance out his darkness, I’m sure he would end up consumed in darkness and madness.

Though Z-Moves require special crystals (Firium-Z for Fire attacks, Normalium-Z for Normal Type attacks, etc.), the attacks are still depicted as directly correlating with the Trainer's personality. James has Darkinium-Z and can use a Dark Type Z-Move called Black Hole Eclipse. Unlike other Trainers, Jessie and Meowth can also add energy to the attack since the bonds between Jessie, James, and Meowth are inseparable. However, this is really James's Z-Move and he is also able to do it by himself.

In contrast, Jessie has Mimikium-Z and uses it for a Z-Move called Let's Snuggle Forever. It's more like 'Let's snuggle forever because I'll suffocate you to death,' but it's pretty cute compared to Black Hole Eclipse. It's a Fairy Type move with a cutesy pose. James and Meowth are able to power it up with her.

Acquiring a Z-Crystal seems to require a test of character. Before getting Darkinium-Z, Jessie and James tell some petty thieves that they deserve better than their toxic friend who threw them under the bus. Jessie and James have a shot at getting the crystal, but their Pokémon all get knocked out, so they rush to their Pokémon instead. Ultimately, they do get the crystal anyway.

When James Tag Battles with the Gym Leader Gardenia, they lose; and she says that the main problem was that Trainer and Pokémon weren't in sync so they weren't battling as one. James loved Cacnea dearly, so how could that be? Maybe it's that James's heart is covered in darkness and this type of connection isn't possible for him. Maybe only Dark Type moves work for his dark aura. Maybe he didn't open himself up to others enough at that point in the series (DP54). Indeed, in the next scene, Jessie tries to get him to talk about his feelings and tells him to stop lying to her about being "fine." He just doubles down on saying that he's fine.

To answer that, consider * how * James learns Black Hole Eclipse. In order to learn it, James has to do some Jungian shadow work (SM58). That is, he has to have an honest conversation with his Pokémon, Mareanie, about what he will and will not tolerate in a friend (he detests emotional manipulation, drama, jealousy, people who are controlling, etc.). His terms are unconditional. Him telling Mareanie what to expect puts them on the same page and allows them to connect their hearts, now that James's shadow self isn't blocking the way.

♪ I Wanna Do Bad Things With You ♫

Jessie and James used to camp out and rent cabins, so they traveled light and could pack up and go at any time. They were lost souls wandering the earth. But then they get an apartment together in Vermillion City and make it homey. We see them travel to lots of countries, yet always returning to their apartment when they’re back in Kanto.

They even start a podcast (JN106) and YouTube channel (JN115), WhamBam-Z (dub: DumDumDum-Z) as Charm Deluxe (dub: Cosmic Charm Deluxe), Princess (dub: Princess), and Blue Bruise (dub: Bluesilocks). According to the Narrator, they continued thereafter to be content creators in addition to being in Team Rocket (JN106).

James even sacrifices his bottle cap collection to make pins as podcast freebies and sacrifices his PokéBall collection to give as podcast grand prizes. Jessie and Meowth had never understood his love of collecting things. To them, things only have value if you can use them or hock them for cash (XY85, SM4). But they understand what a huge sacrifice giving up his collections is, and are moved. James is moved that they appreciate the sacrifice, and that they see his collections as having value, just as he has always seen them as having value (JN106).

Nevertheless, for someone who's so afraid of getting close to people, living together must be a difficult adjustment for James. It used to be one of his worst fears (AG147). At the end of the series, they have a fight and James is very standoffish. I think that it’s mainly brought on by the stress and fears from them settling down together, because that’s the big change in their life in the SWSH series. It’s taking things to the next level. I could see that triggering his depression and making him build up walls.

Jessie is concerned that his heart isn't in being a gangster anymore. James is deeply offended. The viewer, at first, might think that he’s being defensive because he knows she’s right. However, we find out that she’s completely wrong and just projecting her fear that he will lose interest in being a gangster. He’s actually upset because he’s completely devoted to their job and to her. He’s insulted that she could lose faith in him.

Until they find new Team Rocket partners, they still have to work together. Since they're Field Agents who aren't out in the field, they work at Headquarters for a while. Interestingly, on one of their breaks, James drinks a Granbull canned coffee (so, Red Bull Cold Brew Coffee), which is a drink that Jessie once bought him, to show him that she wasn’t upset that he backstabbed her (SM132).

Jessie, James, and Meowth individually go off to do the same villainous scheme. Perhaps this is the same type of heart bond that allows Ash and Pikachu to sense where each other has gone when they are apart (ATBAM6). The fact that they had the same plan moves Meowth to tears and makes Jessie and James smile. They realize that the three of them are inextricably linked, and what initially linked them was their love of villainy. While Meowth is included in this bond, Trainers can have heart bonds with their Pokémon; but, as far as energy bonds between humans go, Jessie and James are the only characters shown to have one. Moreover, Jessie and James have promised to be at each other's side even in the afterlife (DP117).

Jessie and James used to cycle through lots of successful normal careers. In the finale, besides podcasting and YouTubing, they cast away their previous careers and embrace what truly brings them passion. Not always success, but passion. The thing that brought them close together in the first place - doing deliciously bad things together.

You can check out my Jessie character study here

You can check out my Team Rocket music playlist here

[ariadosanon]

Hey g’morning Fennec how are y—

Pelipper Unmail:

> The mattr- wait! what are you doing? let go!

Did you think I was joking, you little shit?!

Time to forget that pesky moral system!

[kittsu-and-company]

Self Reflection

TWs; Heavily implied Pokémon death, Implied Gore, Implied Pokemon Harm, Self Sabotaging Tendencies/Idealation.

She pondered this as she stared up at the darkened ceiling, trying to make out ghostly shapes that would hopefully snap her mind into fear, then to sleep. How many things has she lied about so far? How many more will it take to reach whatever end she was after? She sighed lightly as she scratched an itch on her neck, having quickly abandoned her goal of distracting yourself to sleep. 0212 is always the best time for some self reflection, hm?

She… Kittsu didn’t know how much she’s lied. She doesn’t like lying and tries to avoid it, but each little false remark thoughtlessly spewed weighed on her mind. Arceus, she was so fucking selfish. She claimed to value honesty above all else but crumbles under suspicious eyes, giving meaningless claims to escape confrontation by any means possible.

She really was a bad person, wasn’t she..? The fact she doesn’t feel guilty only added to that fact.

Kittsu turned her head to face the Doduo that took up half of her pillow, mindlessly reaching out to scratch one of its chins, letting her hand drop down with a small thud. It wasn’t… she didn’t lie that much, did she? The only big one was…

…The Altar.

It still chased her mind though a month has already passed since her visit. She told people that she didn’t go, but she knows if anyone had pressed the issue she would’ve broken down. Arceus. She didn’t even feel that guilty for allowing her Pokémon to get needlessly hurt. She would’ve apologized by now if she really cared at all.

She… she loves her Pokemon. Right? Or was this all a facade and she was just lying again, even to herself? Of course she doesn’t truly love them, there were others who appreciated Ember and Aeries and Hubert and Gliese far more than herself. She only hoped they would be the ones to leave her first, this time; maybe if they forgot her first it wouldn’t hurt as much when they leave.

…No, the fact that she wanted to wail at the prospect of them being in pain- of dying without living their full lives- that was proof that she loves, right? She loves them. She just doesn’t know how to. A parasite, that’s what she is, a parasite that happened to have a parasite according to the Ghost person.

Parasites should be culled, removed, but it made it so much more complicated when the hosts liked their parasite. Perhaps it was more symbiotic? But then… how would she leave? If she stays and… and loves them, it would be agony when she’s left in the dark for one final time.

She wants them all to be happy, but she wants to be happy, too. If her presence, at least at the moment is what makes them joyful, then she’ll stay.

She’ll ignore the urges to destroy it all; to destroy herself. To tear everything down just to build it back up again, and continue the cycle of continuous destruction; a cycle she doesn’t remember the beginning of.

…This isn’t healthy. She isn’t healthy, or was this how people just went about their days? Does everyone feel the innate urge to start from scratch, despite the effort and pain it will take to gain back what was lost? Yeah, she was fine. After all, why else would people be so enamored with destruction? The burning of a house, the blowing up of a car… as long as nobody was hurt, people would flock to watch the carnage with nothing but neutrality at worst.

She was fine. Of course she was. Or maybe… No it’s too late to go over that now.

She closed her eyes and a sudden heat burst through her mind, and she scratched at her arms as she quickly sat up, trying to shake the imagery from her mind. The thick smell of sweet iron and visions of sticky rust splatters caked on sun-baked stone plagued her senses.

She wasn’t fine. Or she was. She couldn’t tell as she sat there, playing the events of her Alolan “vacation” through her mind as she mulled over the memories she tried to bury. Don’t think about it, don’t bring it up, and it’s as if it never happened.

Kittsu rubbed her face. Arceus, those poor Pokemon…

She removed her hands and reached for her phone, curiosity overcoming her long lasting urge to forget about what had happened. She already had a few ideas for what may have caused the gorey scene upon the altar, but now it was just up to Sligoogle and her mind to put the pieces together.

…

“What would happen if your blood boiled”

…

“Decomposition process of flying Pokémon”

…

“Why would a body not decay”

…

“Can the heat kill all bacteria and not allow it to grow back”

…

“Deaths around Vast Poni Canyon”

…

“Why would a ghost suddenly disappear?”

…

Most of her questions received dubious answers, sometimes even a couple mental health lifelines showed up in her results. She doubted that Coral or anyone else in the house would check her browser history, but she made sure to wipe any possibly incriminating searches from her phone. One peek at the time and Arceus, it’s already been an hour?

She- Kittsu sighed as she looked towards Hubert once more, now both heads looking quizzically up at their trainer… She didn’t quite feel human, she now realized. Not human enough to deal with this, at least. Where did The Storyteller go..?

…

It was too late, she’s already spent enough time staring blankly and reflecting. She plopped back down and tucked herself deeper into her blankets, making sure to give Hubert’s heads each a little kiss.

Maybe next time she would dig deeper.

[spiritualhoenn]

📼

TW/CW: Pokémon harm, implied Pokémon death

[Mirage is looking at the four humans in front of them, a Mightyena at their sides -he has evolved earlier that month and Mirage is proud of him. The old Absol, Abby, is behind them.]

"Hello kiddo !"

[Mirage does not like them.]

"Some villagers were telling us that a child comes from time to time in their town."

[Mirage does not like them.]

"And we were wondering if you knew them ?"

[They were lying, they fully know that it is Mirage, that child.]

"No." [it is the only thing Mirage could say. They do not like speaking, not with humans.]

"You sure ?"

[Mirage nods. They start to pass by them with old Absol and Mightyena when one of the humans yells.]

"NOW !"

[Two humans, a man and a woman jump and take each other, one of their arms. Mirage screams. They hate, hate, hate when people touch them.

Abby is growling and tries to bite one of the humans holding Mirage but one of the humans who are not, takes a branch from the ground and swings it. It hits the white Pokémon hard. Mirage cries. Mightyena jumps to help but the last human throws a hyper ball at him.

The last thing Mirage before blacking out sees is their parent Abby trying to get up but failing, again and again.]

[ariadosanon]

Why not take all four? If each paw is lucky, then it might stack.

I don’t know anon. I feel like I’d look a bit crazy if I was walking about with FOUR paws on my belt loop.

I think I’ll stick with ONE.

[prof-snakewood]

So negative, Jon. I find your lack of scientific curiosity dissapointing.

I need no godly favor. I have far more important things to achieve for this world than my own spiritual satisfaction.

Nictoria need not be ‘bribed’ with Pokémon. That is a terrible slandering of an innocent woman’s character, Jon. For shame.

The implication behind being ‘chosen’ by a Pokémon is that, in some respect, you could theoretically chose a Pokémon back with enough of your dedicated time.

After all, it would have to notice you eventually, wouldn’t it?

Whether that would work as a method of becoming a chosen, or finding out that you are a chosen is up for debate (or even research.)

But, who has the grants for something like that. It simply doesn’t ’benefit society…’ Or so the main lab says.

[nagichi-boop]

Ways me & Razputin Aquato are similar

Yuuup. I’m doing this again. I don’t have much else to say for the caption. I just like writing these self indulgent posts because I’m selfish.

TW // Mentions of trauma, familial issues, mentions of ableist language(?)

Also, spoilers

1. Desire to help others

One of Raz’s most notable qualities, more apparent in Psychonauts 2, is Raz’s determination to put others first. He always tries his best to help others out of respect and care for them. Heck, even when his psyche was merged with Coach Oleander, he did his best to help him, despite being in a very stressful situation. This does sometimes backfire, however, as Raz will go out of his way to protect those who have wronged him. When the interns hazed him, Raz lied to Sasha and Otto about the reason his clothes were missing. And when Forsythe scolded Raz for messing with her mental connections, Raz took all responsibility and didn’t mention the fact the other interns pressured him to do it.

I’m not helpful like Raz is, but I definitely relate to the mentality of putting others first, mostly out of a lack of self respect. I blame myself for things that I maybe acknowledge isn’t really my fault and even if someone has wrong me, I take it as my personal failing. I have this belief of “I must live to serve others, even if it destroys me, because at least I will be worth something”. Which I’m sure you can recognise is a pretty harmful mindset to be in. It’s just that much like Raz, anytime I try to express my own autonomy and interests, they are met with a strong negative reception, and therefore I often feel like I’m only valuable to others if I comply to their needs instead of my own. More on this later though.

2. Strong fixed interests

So part of this plays into the fandom headcanon (might as well be canon though) that Raz is autistic. That isn’t what I’m here to discuss, but part of the reason why is because of Raz’s interest in the Psychonauts and psychology. We obviously know that Raz is obsessed with the Psychonauts as he strongly pursues becoming one, but also in how he is able to recall things from specific issues of the True Psychic Tales comics. We don’t see mention of it as often, but it’s also implied that Raz is interested in psychology. In the first game he mentions to Lili that he had been reading up on how to deal with nightmares and expressed a desire and interest in wanting to help Lili with her’s. And in the second game, Raz is shown to have a strong understanding of things such as sensory overloads and panic attacks, knowing how to appropriately deal with each of them.

I definitely relate to Raz on the psychology interest. Ever since I was about 14 and started to wrestle with my own mental health issues, I took a casual interest in it, though I also enjoyed little psychology tidbits before then too. Then when I was about 18, I fell down a huge rabbit hole with it and expanded my interest beyond depression and anxiety, which is sort of the only thing I knew of before then. I also have a strong love for things like Pokémon and have a fairly detailed knowledge of different aspects of it. I’m not well versed on everything, but I could definitely tell you some random obscure facts that I learned when I was younger or somewhat confidently name most Pokémon (apart from the ultra beasts, get them away from me).

3. Feeling like a burden

This one is a brief one and is only based on a few pieces of dialogue, but there are multiple occasions where Raz will say something like “I’m sorry to bother you” when talking to someone, despite that person not expressing any sort of annoyance with Raz being there. He’s projecting his own feelings when he does this, assuming that he is a nuisance to those around him. I often feel like this too and tend to apologise like this all the time, even if I logically know I have no reason to apologise.

4. Sense of humour

Raz also shows he on occasion enjoys dark humour. When Raz blasts a seagull, he says “see you in hell”, which is…pretty dark for him considering he’s usually quite an upbeat and kind person. To most people I appear to be very tame, but deep down I have a part of me that is very dark with humour, which to some might come as a shock. (I mean, people irl are surprised when they learn I like rollarcoasters, let alone that I would make dark jokes causally.)

5. Outwardly casual regarding his trauma

When Raz’s psyche begins to separate from Oleander’s and he and his father walk into the caravan, Raz very casually says that he can’t wait to tell Augustus all the messed up things that he’s been through. He also makes a joke while in “Truman’s” mind about the fact Maligula is his fake grandma like it’s no big deal. Both of these events are things that Raz probably should be more freaked out about, especially given his age, but instead he treats it like it’s humorous. I assume this is probably a means of disconnecting himself from what has happened. After all, if he wasn’t affected by it, he wouldn’t have screamed when he saw the rabbit when he woke up outside the caravan in his mental world. And again, when he helps Lucy defeat Maligula, he smiles briefly before dropping his mask and hugging his Nona tightly, like he has been holding back his fear.

I definitely do this. People who talk to me know that I do this all the time. I try to dismiss the things I have been through, telling myself that it’s not that bad and it’s just “one of those things”. But then every now and then I will break over it. Something I’ve been neglecting will come to mind and it’ll pain me. Generally speaking though, much like Raz, I hide my pain as best as I can and try not to drop the mask too often.

6. Suppressed inner child

I’m not sure how reaching/obscure of a point this is, but if you compare Raz to his archetype, Raz is much more mature in comparison whereas his archetype runs around, makes airplane sounds and is generally hyperactive. People have suggested that this might be an indication for how Raz has suppressed his childish tendencies and pushed them down so he can focus solely on being a good Psychonaut, which as a young person means proving that he’s mature enough to handle such a job.

I don’t have the same circumstances as Raz, but I’ve definitely felt like I’ve had to repress my childishness to an extent. I try to put on a “retail persona” as I call it with most people, aka I try to appear professional and polite. This also means not stimming as much and not talking about my interests, most of which I seem to be “childish”. There’s very few people irl that know I collect plushies, for example. I’ve tried doing this less (wearing Sanrio bags out and trying not to care if people see me being plushies), but it’s still really difficult because I don’t want people to judge me.

7. His family

This one is part projection as my circumstances aren’t 100% matching his, but there are also similarities between our families. I’ll try and take them a family member at a time and compare them separately. Apologies for this section being rambly.

Raz’s mother is someone who makes passive aggressive remarks about Raz, talking as though he is inferior to the family for running away and generally othering him from the family. She isn’t afraid to make a spectacle, even if it’ll embarrass Razputin. If Raz mentions anything to do with being psychic, he is either scolded or has his relationship with others (his father) used to guilt him, in effect punishing him for having curiosity. There’s more I can say, but I don’t want to make this a walk of text about her. My mother may not do the exact same things, but she says very hurtful things casually much like Donatella does. It feels that she doesn’t respect me for getting in touch with my autonomy and instead insists on what I should be doing, all in the frame of wanting what’s best for me because she loves me, while actively ignoring parts of me, like my mental illness and (likely) neurodivergence.

Next up is his father. Augustus in the first game flashbacks is shown to be strict, trying to stop Raz from embracing his powers and eventually tearing up his pamphlet about the summer camp. When Raz has merged psyches with Coach Oleander, we get a glimpse of how Raz views Augustus - he thinks his father has disowned him and that he doesn’t want Raz to be happy. Thankfully for Raz, Augustus embraces his own psychic powers and tries to bond with Raz, though he is quite timid when it comes to showing it openly. My father is mentally ill to a degree and most likely who my brother and I got autism from. But much like Augustus in the first game, he chooses to ignore these and in turn projects onto me and assumes our experiences are the same. For a very long time he tried to talk me out of seeking a diagnosis for autism or any mental health issue, but thankfully he’s at least backed off. Sadly he doesn’t really support me though, so Raz’s mental image of his father is not far off from how I seen mine. My father is just unwilling to change, though.

Finally, his brother Dion. While the fandom version of Dion is somewhat comical, his personality in game is quite abrasive. He is very cruel to Raz, even expressing that the family would be better off without him. When clairvoyance is used on him, he quite literally views Raz as a punching bag. I actually have two brothers, but I don’t talk to one of them much since they got married. I’ll be referring to the one who still lives with me and our parents. He’s an absolute jerk. He insults me, he blatantly lies to make himself look better than me and just very generally treats me like I’m inferior, weak and insignificant. But since to my parents he appears more productive and useful (he works full time, drives, etc), I often feel like the lesser child and my brother gets away with treating me poorly.

I guess the tldr of this section is basically my family treats me like I’m inferior and uses me as the butt of a lot of jokes (for example, on multiple occasions they’ve referred to me as “acting special needs” when I act hyper). And they guilt me. A lot.

— x —

I think that about sums it up nicely. Once again, I’m sure absolutely no one is reading this, but I enjoy doing this as a self indulgent exercise to trick myself into believe I am anywhere near as lovable as the characters I like. Which I’m not. Anyways, byeee~

[ariadosanon]

I have a feeling Pete is about to be fatherless

Oh are we getting the ANON?

Oops

[ariadosanon]

Je t'aime, mon amour~ 🖤 and thank you for the adorable lucky paw! ~ @alarielove ~

D’awwww you’re welcome luv…. Kyehehe…. She likes me…

AHEM.

I mean aye it’s cool. Yeah. I am very glad you like it!

[ariadosanon]

Look, cigarette, you don't know this and have no way of knowing but something is coming, and it is pissed. You might want to drop the idea of having an actual pokemon paw for good lest you get put down like I personally would enjoy doing myself but unfortunately I am stuck in Kalos working an actually pleasant 9-5 office job. Honestly my boss is nice as hell, so yeah. That's off script though. Point is that there's something coming, something far worse than any pokemon, shadow pokemon, person, and it's going to barbecue you. You will become a protein packed meal.

Anon please keep your deranged end of the world ramblings to your own page 🙏 WHAT THE FUCK

[ariadosanon]

which pokemon

SYLVEON. Why?

[ariadosanon]

The misfortune of one becomes the luck of the other.

Is that what it originates from? That’s pretty DARK. Kind of cool actually.

I just really need the LUCK.

[ariadosanon]

They are all lucky if you know what you're doing.

Anon this sounds ominous as FUCK. I like the way you’re thinking, though. What even makes them so LUCKY? It definitely didn’t work for the POKÉMON.