#tw Silly European Man

[mi---amor]

Tipsy-Turvy

A//N: Chef Saltbaker x Self Insert OC

Although Amor's shown to speak/think in English for reading convenience, she's actually doing so in Spanish.

Saltbaker will also sometimes be referred to by the hc name I gave him. Not too much in this one because this is set within the early days of them working together.

°•°•°•°•°

Amor followed a peculiar sound. Rich singing occasionally interrupted by hiccups and giggling. 

It was early. Too early for the dimly lit, sweetly-scented bakery to be occupied by anyone other than herself for the weekly anticipated order of produce. A 4:00 AM delivery, to be exact. 

Amor had no complaints. It was part of the job, one she enjoyed no less and had plenty of prior experience for. Being a chef’s baking assistant, she was readily willing to get up at what most people considered to be the butt crack of dawn, cleaning, going over stock, and arranging the deliveries to be as presentable as possible for when her boss arrived.

Strangely, she didn’t recall being told he would be coming in earlier than usual today, if her ears did not deceive her. The only reason might be to help with unloading the truck, but that was hardly a challenge for either of them. 

Poking through the kitchen door, Amor was met with several oddities right away. To start, the lights were not on. Instead, a procession of candles lined one of the countertops, illuminating a portion of the area in a surreal, seance-like way. 

Beside a wall adorned with plates, utensils, and frames, a gramophone filled the scene with lively orchestral music and an operatic singer- two of them, technically. Dueting over the recorded voice was another that was much lower, much louder, and directly at Amor's feet. 

“Sir?” she wondered as Chef Saltbaker merrily belted out the next chorus in unhinged, staccato Italian. He lay sprawled and surrounded by four hefty jugs most likely retrieved from the cellar, his uniform rumpled and undone. To complete his apparent desire to resemble a castaway sailor, his ascot was tied around his disheveled salt-and-pepper hair.

Underneath his coat was an undershirt that, during the events of whatever the hell transpired, had bunched up like a raised curtain. Inside his glass window of a stomach was a tinted, bubbling view of whatever he had sucked dry from the jugs, as well as the pounds of salt his mysterious innards were made out of. 

Probably not the best combination. 

Amor kept her gaze on her superior’s upside-down face shining in the abnormal ambience. She crouched nearer to his level to yell out a very confused, “Hello? Chef?”

Saltbaker’s half-lidded eyes rolled upward and lit with some semblance of recognition. 

“Oh-ho-hoh! Cia-*hic* - ah, scusami. Ciao, bellissima!"

Well, that confirmed it. Chef Saltbaker was plastered out the wazoo, a sight Amor hadn't had the privilege of witnessing before. 

Sure, she'd seen him sip daintily at a wine glass after a particularly busy day. She'd accepted a cup or two herself and could admit she looked forward to them and the friendly chats that ensued. The bottle would get finished by him most of the time, but evidently, it wasn't enough to affect him whatsoever. 

Not like this. The level of drunk the chef had achieved in secret was astounding and not at all something he seemed capable of doing. Not outside of his own home anyway.

Had he even gone home? 

Amor hurried over to the gramophone and stopped the record. Saltbaker held a warbling note until he gave a puzzled grunt. He groggily looked over, whining petulantly at his baking assistant.

“Why’d’y’do that?”

“Chef Saltbaker, sir, you’re uh. Very drunk.”

The chef dropped his head back with a clink. He waved the allegation away, looking as if he were being puppeteered by a sleepy toddler. 

“Jus' a-*hic*- glass or five. Not too much, n' if it was,” he gave a boastful slap to his middle, “it’s nothing this ol’ tank can’t handle, ha ha!”

“Sir, it’s 4:00 in the morning,” Amor insisted. “Have you gone home and slept? At all?”

Saltbaker slurred the question in his language, mockingly falsetto, and made himself laugh, shaking up the party’s worth of booze inside him. “Ehhh. Who has time t'do that anymore?”

“Right, okay.” Trying to think of how to go about the situation, Amor set her fists on her hips and stared at a mounted clock in the shape of a frying pan. The deliveries were going to arrive any minute now. She could handle them herself just fine, but she needed space in the kitchen to sort and count the items out. Not to mention figure out how to get started on everything else single-staffed.

Frowning, she returned to the lump of a salt man. “I have a feeling you’re not going to be able to sleep all this off before 8:00.”

“Why yes, I can! See? S-S-Sleeping!” Accepting the challenge, Saltbaker rolled over, sloshing audibly like a whiskey keg. He had basically become one and was not fit to do anything else for the day- or however long it took saltshaker people to reach a hangover. That much Amor knew and resented to be her problem to deal with. 

The chef she had begun to befriend and admire was supposed to be the opposite of whatever this was. She would have even gone as far as to say he wouldn’t ever put himself in such a predicament. Not when he had a business he seemed to care intensely for.

Did he have something else on his mind lately? Something…. troubling? 

Amor went over to his side where his cheek was smushed against the tile floor. He was doing a terrible job pretending to be asleep, blinking out of sync and mumbling along to the musical number he had been robbed of in his head.

Frustrated as she was, Amor had to admit… it was hard not to find the situation a tiny bit amusing. Out of all the types of drunks to be, Saltbaker luckily landed on jolly dialed up to a hundred. If it was on any other occasion, Amor would have no doubt been laughing at how ridiculous he was being. But this was not the place, not the time, and certainly not the type of boss she could work with. 

“Can you stand up?” she asked, although the answer was probably not going to shock her in the least.

“Yes, of course!” Saltbaker declared, flopping back into his previous starfish position. 

Amor waited, but after a minute he remained where he was, seemingly pleased with the zero amount of progress he made. 

“Sir?” 

“Mmm?”

“Can you stand, please?”

“Oh. Ohhh! You mean now?”

“Yes,” Amor said through one very tired rush of air. “Please. Right now.”

At his assistant’s command, the chef lifted his arms like an awaking zombie, gave a smidgen of effort, and then dropped them. 

“I think I- *hic* -like it down here. Heh heh, you should join me, gattina.”

Amor flushed pink at the pet name honeyed with flirtatiousness. No, she had to have misinterpreted that. Chef Saltbaker liked to tease and throw around nicknames for everyone… one difference being strictly in English. Maybe that quirk in his naturally charming tone had just been her imagination, which betrayed her yet again as she pictured herself cuddling in the big man’s arm and performing karaoke to Italian opera. 

A certainly ideal evening outside of work hours. 

Right now, he needed to move his ass out the goddamn way and maybe sober up at a table or broom closet. Seeing how he definitely couldn’t tell the difference between up and down and no one else was coming to punch in and lend a hand, Amor was the one stuck with having to deal with him- plus get everything else done for the day. 

She was not getting paid enough for this. 

“Sir, can you try to sit up one more time?” Amor asked. She nudged his shoulder with the tip of her shoe. “I’ll help you.”

Through a seesawing grin, Chef Saltbaker hummed at his assistant bathed in candlelight. “Amore mio, have I ever told you your ey- *hic* -excuse me, oh dear. Your eyes… they are sapphires shining bright…ly… no- yes- bright… they make th’morning… uh…” He trailed off and scrunched his brow. “Fiddlesticks. I had learned that jus’ for you. From a picture about cats. You like cats. I remember that abou- *hic* - you.”

Gosh, he was beyond ridiculous. And yet, Amor couldn’t keep a half smile from appearing on her lips. Never mind that her eyes were actually brown; he was right about the cat fact. It felt nice that he cared to remember that insignificant detail from one of their previous unwinding talks. She decided she’d let him have that one. 

“Yes, I do. And I liked whatever that was too. Very sweet.”

“Aw, really?” The chef beamed and fumbled a translucent, surprisingly soft finger to boop her nose. “Well, good! I have man-n-ny more. I'll think of ‘em.” 

“You can tell me all about it while you get up, okay?”

Chef Saltbaker watched with interest as his smaller assistant planted her feet firmly between his legs. She bent over with her hands out toward him, but he pulled his up to his chest like a scared puppy.

“Oh my… Miss Leches, that’s quite forward.”

As politely as she could, Amor told him to shut up and grab hold. Once she got a grip on him, she yanked with strength befitting someone more his size.

Jerking forward with a yelp, the chef stayed vertical for a full second. Before he could rush back to the floor’s embrace, Amor scurried and braced herself against his back. 

She didn't know what lifting a waterbed strictly with her spinal cord felt like, but this had to be it. 

“Unf-! Come on, Chef, work with me.”

“I do work with you, yes. And I- *hic*- enjoy your company very much! Too much, probably.”

Amor huffed and puffed and dug an elbow in, hoping the pain would at least register somewhere in his body and get him to move. With a sturdy little support digging into his shoulder blades, Saltbaker seemed to sense his limbs needed to create useful movement. He lurched over onto an elbow and took the long, sloshy journey to his feet.

“Whooo, so much spinning! I believe I'm going to regret this later.” 

“Yep, probably. Good job not falling on me.”

“Not a problem. Thank you-u-u for being so…. ever so helpful.”

Amor more or less let him lean on her like an armrest before he dropped anchor against a blessedly nearby counter. Believing the worst to be over, she went to gather her hair out of her face- only to catch the chef chuckling as he started sinking to his knees like a melting ice cream.

“No, no, no! Up, stay up.” Amor righted him with another elbow jab to the squishy source of all her wasted energy and time. 

“Oof-!” Saltbaker stuck out his bottom lip and, finally noticing he wasn't decently dressed, decided a little too late to cover up his exposed target. “That wasn't very nice,” he admonished, waggling a finger parentally at his assistant.

“Neither was any of this,” Amor grumbled, patience well spent. “What happened? Why didn't you go home?”

“I have… *hrp*- a much better question. Do you?”

“What.”

Thinking she hadn’t heard him in the otherwise completely silent room, Chef Saltbaker folded in on himself to close the several feet of distance that separated them height-wise. His nose nearly gouged Amor’s eye out, and by his breath alone she feared secondhand intoxication. 

“Do you drink?” the chef clarified, bouncing a little on his toes for emphasis. 

“Chef, I do. But like this?” Amor gestured at his everything. “No. And my advice is that you shouldn’t either. Would you like me to call you a cab or something?”

Saltbaker didn't really seem to understand, which was entirely expected. He had no idea where he was going with his initial question anyway as the world grew increasingly disorienting the longer he stood.

He rocked in place and rambled on. “I asked this, why? Because I dunno if you do. And 'f you do, you knew, who know… knew do. And I do. Knew. Mmmm-hm.” 

Convinced he'd spoken gospel truth, Chef Saltbaker set a fist on his hip, his other going for the counter. He missed completely and his center of gravity gladly took over. 

Amor nonchalantly sidestepped as her boss face-planted into the ground, rattling everything within a five-mile radius. He didn't move or say much else and she decided that was for the best. She continued with the morning duties after a brief checkup confirmed the chef was more than okay. He was snoring. 

Amor shook her head and wished him well once he woke up.

He was going to have a massive headache, and she wasn’t going to make it any better by asking him for a raise. 

[nxathyx]

"That's my lap..."

Gn!reader x Dazai Osamu, Gn!Reader x Ranpo Edogawa, Gn!Reader x Chuuya Nakahara, Gn! Reader x Akutagawa Ryuunoske, Gn!reader x Nikolai Gogol, Gn! Reader x Fyodor Dostoyevski, Gn! Reader x Sigma

So i just remembered that audio that was like

"hey, is that seat taken?"

"That's my lap.."

"i know what I said"

And i thought it'd be fun to write something similar so basically reader sitting on the bsd boys lap

Tw: slight suggestive themes (like hair pulling, grinding, marks/bites/brusinig, straddling if you want to count that, spanking), sitting on ones lap, ooc, cursing, slander (im slandering Fyodor once more), bad grammer

Dazai Osamu

° would definetly grab your hips and push you down on his lap

° I feel like he prefers when you're back is towards him so you can rest the back of your head against his chest while he just reads, does something on his phone or just stroke your hair

° definetly just does it as a pass time

° definetly Held your waist and made you grind against his thigh or just generally against him

° I feel like he enjoys having you on his lap in the agency, just to tease you and to anger Kunikida

°I feel like he'd massage your shoulders and leave feather like kisses on the back of your neck

Ranpo Edogawa

° I don't know why but I think he prefers sitting on your lap

° but if you do end up on his lap you two would just be quietly enjoying each others company eating some snacks and engaging in conversation from time to time

° definetly places his hands on your tummy and just plays with the skin (that sounds weird asf)

Chuuya Nakahara

° okay either likes having you on his lap sideways or you straddling him

° It depends where and what his mood is

° if you have a more childish and or silly personality would definetly use his ability to kind of make you jump up and down, and when I say up I mean like 30cm off his lap up

° would probably try to get a bit frisky

° once he let you sit on his lap while you did his eyeliner (he loved it)

° I feel like he'd know how to braid hair so would definitely do that (if your hair is long enough for that)

° I have no clue why but I feel like he'd pull your hair and then say some kinky shit in your ear😧

° you're probably leaving with a bruised and bitten neck

° if you have fishnet tights on he's definitely fondling with the plush of your thighs (slap his hand away if you don't want those to be torn [he will buy you new ones though])

°probably has a hand on your neck/throat

° if you wear chockers especially leather ones he's pulling on it just to kiss you

Akutagawa Ryuunoske

° how the fuck did you manage to even do that

° mf definetly uses rashoumon to keep you in place if you try to get up

° I legit don't know what else to say rather than what the fuck

° I think Akutagawas very kinky in private so expect a lot of lewd comments, maybe even spanking (this is so ooc right now💀

Nikolai Gogol

° mf once straight up kidnapped you with his ability just to have you sit on his lap

° likes having you kind of bounce on his lap (my grandma used to do that and it's kind of like you're pretending you're riding a horse while making sounds of the hooves clicking against the floor with your mouth. Eastern Europeans will probably understand)

° would show you card tricks

° I don't know why but I feel like he'd just randomly draw on the back of your neck (maybe sometimes with his mouth—)

° definetly drew a dick once and thought he was hilarious😭😭

° he grips your thighs from behind (I think he'd have really long and well kept nails so expect crescent moons on them)

Fyodor Dostoyevski

° personally I wouldn't go for that 😁

° don't touch his hair, you'll get 8 unknown diseases or something (I love hating on him so much)

° his body is really cold so use it to cool yourself off on a nice sunny day

° okay i don't know why but if you like a top or dress or corset or anything that needs to be tied on the back he'd sit you on his lap and zip it or tie it for you

° this man has such a hard grip on your hips, like you're leaving with bruises

Sigma

° I feel like he'd prefer to sit in your lap

° either that or just let you cuddle up to him while he's working or something

° will have one hand on your lower back

° if you ever strattled him he'll be so confused and embarrassed

° like don't do this to him he has to focus on the casino not the way you feel on him

°(he definitely gets turned on real fast)

[zyonsay]

can you write a fic with toto?? cuz it's A NEEED FOR ME

Bustling Night TW

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: You and Toto go on a date!

Reader: Male

Warnings: Toto del Rey?!

Now playing: 'Lolita' by Lana del Rey

AN: Hey there dear Anon! Thank you for the request! When i first read this request, this reel came to my mind immediately haha

So for this one i only made a one shot because im not really a Toto person (he's precious tho), but nevertheless i hope you enjoy. I accidentally wrote it for a male reader, until i realized you didn't specify the readers gender- I hope this isn't a problem, otherwise reach out and i'll make it genderneutral!

Also, i always thought his german was SO WEIRD and just a few minutes ago i found out that Torger Christian Wolff is in fact austrian. I was so convinced that he's an Alman (European Slang for 'german person') , but it makes sense that his german sounded silly to me lol. Austrians are so unserious and i can't get over it lmao

His big hand was snaked around your waist, as bright flashes danced before you. You and your husband Toto stood on a stunning carpet while being photographed for the press. The FIA had planned an extravagant Gala Event for all the Formula One associates.  

Your hair was combed nicely, and your dress shirt hugged you perfectly. Toto was smiling sweetly while he secretly gawked at you from time to time. A loose strand had made its way on his forehead, you gently brushed it back and pressed a quick peck to his cheek. The city was alive, and you couldn’t wait to get out and about after the event. Of course, you would’ve liked to stay longer and enjoy some drinks and maybe embarrassingly dance when the party started, but you and your beloved partner made a reservation at a fancy restaurant.

Before anyone could notice, you two had snuck out of the building, breathing in the fresh night air. A few Cars were rushing by, and it felt like the nightlife was breathing and bustling. The valet handed Toto the keys to his steel grey Mercedes Benz 300 sl, nodding gratefully he handed the young man a suspiciously high tip.

He opened the passenger door for you, before hopping behind the steering wheel. He glanced over at you, still smiling like a schoolboy. The Austrian slowly snuck a hand on your thigh, making small talk with you, as the car swiftly rushed through the lit-up city streets. It didn’t feel overwhelmingly lit like New York, but homier and more romantic. The windows of the car were fully open, and the wind played through his dark hair.

The moon hung in the sky like a sweet melody and its light accentuated Toto’s sharp features, his eyes seemed to shimmer with adoration.

Once you arrived at the restaurant a smell of delicious stone oven pizza hit you. The walls of the restaurant consisted almost fully of big, beautiful windows and on the inside, there were stunning Bordeaux red curtains. There were various nicely dressed couples sitting on the terrace, while sipping coffee or chatting the night away.

Your lovely partner pulled you inside, checking the reservation with the hostess. She was a short, sweet looking woman with curly blonde hair. The lady then guided you two towards a table next to one of the big windows, telling you that your server would be with you shortly. Toto gripped your hand with his bigger one, giving you a gentle kiss on the knuckles.

“I love you, Schatz”, a sweet grin spread across his face as you chuckled.

“I love you too.”

[bellascool]

clown trauma

PABLO GAVI

posted : 15/04/2023 (European date)

masterlist

requests open !

english is not my first language, I apologize for the mistakes.

TW : traumas, clowns

Clowns.

They were your biggest fear and your worst nightmare.

You hated them, even when it was just a silly cartoon, you still couldn't watch them without feeling fear rushing down your blood.

All of your friends knew about the trauma you had when you were still a little girl.

All alone, you lost your parents in the amusement park and everyone knows that a kid + amusement park + without parents + dark outside = bad ending.

As you were trying to find them, you bumped into a tall man that had a silly colorful costume, a red nose and a red wig.

When you tried to ask for help, he lifted you in his arms and took you in a dark corner where no one could possibly come to help.

You tried to get away but it was too late, his grip was way too strong for a 7 years old girl.

The rest of the story was too painful for you and you still cried every time you had to tell someone what happened.

All you could say was that your parents never took you to the amusement park again, firstly because you were too traumatized to go back again and secondly because they didn't wanted to feel again the pain they felt when they saw their daughter crying for days, even weeks after that.

•

"I don't know.. Maybe it's too much Lia" Pedri said as he drank his water on the side of the pitch

"Come on don't worry, she always pulls pranks on us too"

"Yeah but not in a bad way"

"She shaved your eyebrows when you were sleeping, what do you mean not in a bad way?"

The oldest sighed, annoyed by his friend who kept on insisting.

"Okay fine but I won't be responsible for what happens and I won't stay" he said before finally going back to training

Lia internally screamed victory and went back to her seat where she watched the training.

•

On your side, you were trying to not fall asleep on the desk of your uni amphitheater as your maths teacher's voice felt like a lullaby to you.

You missed your home, your bed and mostly your boyfriend who went to training at 6:00am.

It was now 7:00pm and the bell just rang, making you quickly put your things in your bag before rushing to the exit, excited to get some love.

You drove as fast as you could and sighed in relief when you finally saw your house.

You got out of your car after quickly parking in the driveway.

You unlocked the door and dropped your bag on the floor after closing it back.

"I'm home!" you yelled but the only answer you got was silence.

"Pablo?" you said as you checked in the empty kitchen

"Where are you cariño I had a long day and I really want to-" you interrupted yourself by shouting as if you saw a dead body in front of you but instead it was a clown toy [click to see the idea]

It was there, on the kitchen counter and it terrorized you at a point where you couldn't move.

Your breath got heavier and you found yourself sweating as if you ran a marathon.

After a while where you stared at it, you quickly shook your head and ran to your bedroom to find some comfort but oh what a bad idea my dear.

You entered the empty dark room and when you tried to turn on the light, it didn't do anything.

You panicked even more, thinking that everything was against you today.

You grabbed your phone from your pocket and put on the flash in front of you.

The light showed a tall figure with a red curly hair wig, red nose and literally everything that makes a clown a clown.

You screamed from the top of your lungs, your heart was racing in your chest and tears quickly soaked your cheeks.

You pushed the figure who fell on the floor which made you assume that it was a doll and ran to the bathroom.

You locked yourself and slid your body against the door as you tried to get a normal breathing again but you couldn't, the trauma still hit you hard, even years after.

"Please make it stop" you repeated those words, hoping that it was just a nightmare you had

As you were looking at the floor, you saw a gloved hand with a tissue appear on your field of vision.

You slowly lifted your head and your eyes met the dark pupils of the fucking clown.

You didn't even scream, you felt your body getting heavier and suddenly everything went black.

•

"You're so dumb oh my God!" you heard yelling but it was like you were underwater

"How would I know she was that scared?"

"Well maybe because she's your fucking best friend I don't know?"

There was 3 voices, a feminine and two masculine ones.

After a while in the darkness, you finally managed to open your eyes and saw your three friends along with your boyfriend around you.

"She's awake! Y/n how are you feeling sweetie?" Aurora asked you as she helped you sit on the bed

"I'm tired, my chest hurts, I'm hungry and it's like I had the worst nightmare I could possibly have in my whole entire life" you said as you watched the 3 others stop arguing to approach you

"Hungry, you're hungry. I'll get you some food or maybe you want me to cook? I can do whatever you want or-"

"Oh my God calm down you're giving me a headache" Lia said cutting Pablo

"Shut up no one asked you to talk after what you did" he gave her a death stare and you would swear that if looks could kill, she'd be dead now

"What did you do?" you harshly asked, every word hurting as your throat was dry

"I don't think we should talk about it now" she shook her head but the two boys weren't sharing the same opinions

"Oh no we should totally talk about how a bitch you were for making your best friend live her trauma once again" Pedri said clearly annoyed

"I'm the bitch? Why didn't you say no then?"

"Maybe because you're so annoying and in the end I didn't even help you"

As things started to get heated, Pablo(who was surprisingly silent)'s sister decided to calm down the situation.

"Amigos, even if I share the same opinion with Pedri, we shouldn't start arguing in front of Y/n like she isn't there" she said calmly as she stroked your hair gently

"Lia I think you should leave, now" Pablo said not looking at her once

"But why? She's my-"

"No she's not and that's my house so if I tell you to leave, you do without even complaining, now please leave" he cut her

She sighed before leaving the room and probably the house too, now you were even more confused.

"What happened?" you asked still trying to know why they would kick her from your house

"I don't want to hurt you but-"

"She's the one who made all the clown prank on you" Pedri cut Aurora who sighed

"Oh" was all you managed to say

"Pedri I think we should leave" the oldest said as she stood up

"Fine, you can call me anytime if you need something Y/n" he finally turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him, leaving you and Pablo alone

You didn't know what to say, you were still shocked by what happened earlier and your heart was still racing a little.

Without saying anything, he laid down next to you before putting his arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him as his free hand found its way to the back of your head. Your face was now on the crook of his neck, his cologne impregnating your nose.

Without even noticing, tears started to fall which he felt since he hugged you even tighter.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered against your hair

"Don't, you didn't do anything" you said between hiccups

"I wasn't there to help you and now you have another trauma"

"It'll pass don't worry" you softly left some kisses on his neck, your tears drying as he made the situation way better

"I love you but not just love you like you're my soulmate"

"You're so sweet, I love you too" you smiled and left his neck to kiss his lips passionately as he kissed you back

"Aww cariño" you heard from the other side of the door

"Aurora!" his brother yelled after he detached from the embrace to look at the door

"Lo siento!" she said back before finally really leaving as her footsteps faded

"Back to what we were doing" he turned back his head to look at you with a small smile on his face which you returned

"Come here" he pulled you even closer to his body as if you would escape anytime and slowly, your eyelids got heavier and you fell asleep cradled by his warm arms.

[clydesgod]

‘the 9th layer’

Feat. Richard, and, another person

(A more relaxed drabble now, featuring Richard’s favourite bar and his favourite barkeep.)

TW: Alcohol, light sexual themes

——————————————–

Trodding along the wet pavement, Richard hobbled through the street and made a turn towards a little alleyway. The alleyway wasn’t inhabited. In fact, there were a few small shops and bars thrown about. He kept moving on though, not really caring about them. It wasn’t like he went to those ones at all anyway. He had only one place on his mind, after all.

‘The 9th layer’, the most decent bar in this city.

Upon entering the little room, Richard took off his leather jacket and hung it up on the wide array of hooks in front of him. Looked like it was just him today. Good, he sorta liked it that way when it wasn’t loud. He made his way past a small curtain and into the main area of the bar where there were cushioned stools lined up against the main bar area, with little seating areas being them in case you didn’t at all fancy sitting so close to there. It was amazing how well this place was doing despite the lack of space.

Richard took a seat near the bar, pulling the chair out and dragging it across the floor to indicate to the bartender that he was in and waiting for a drink. A little bit rude, sure, but Richie knew how much Mattias didn’t like being yelled at.

Swiftly, a latch opened up from behind the bar, and a skinny, but tall figure came out of it. He was climbing on a ladder, and struggled a bit upon getting out. Nothing to worry about though, it happened a lot to him.

Whilst Richard was gray, Mattias was almost entirely purple. Some parts of his face and body had patches that were lighter than the rest. His ears were long and pointed and his eyes were black, except for his irises, which were red. He was wearing a nice white shirt, with a dated but stylish waistcoat and striped pants. He was probably wearing suspenders under there too. Upon leaving the hatch and closing it, he stood all the way up without bending his back forward. He had to be at least 7’4’, though his horns made him look 4 inches taller. He had some hair, though it was rather short and slicked back. He had a very tiny goatee as well, one that looked barely noticeable if you were looking at him from afar.

“The usual please, Matti.” Richard asked, resting his elbows and forearms against the bar as he leaned on over. He looked at the wide array of spirits he had on display too. He began to wonder if anyone actually asked for those, he never saw Mattias turn around to take one from it’s slot. Was it just for decoration?

Mattias made a noise of agreement and got to work, taking out a clean glass from below, spinning it so the open end was on the top, and placed it against a tap that was labeled ‘Asahi’. He began to pour, not making any noise as he stared straight into the golden, frothy liquid that was pouring out.

Richard stared along at it too, loving the way he poured drinks. Was there even a style to that? He didn’t really consider if bartenders and mixologists had their own way of pouring stuff.

“Y’know,” Richard began, readjusting himself on his stool as he spoke. “I was thinking about getting into mixology myself. Seems fun to do.”

“...very good.” Mattias replied, eyes hardly connecting with Richard’s as he turned off the tap and placed the beer right in front of Richard, making sure it was on a coaster provided so it wouldn’t ruin the bar he had just cleaned.

Richard wasted no time, reaching for it and promptly taking a casual first sip. It was refreshing, especially after a long day at work. ‘Must’ve been hard to Mattias,’ he wondered. Mainly because he hardly ever saw Mattias outside of his work place, except for bumping into him in the local store. He was calm, a man of few words.

“Aaaah. Lovely pint as always. My compliments to the barkeep.”

“...thank you.”

...Maybe a man of too few words. Things got awkward pretty quick. He took a rag and started to clean an empty glass to pass the time, he didn’t like leaving customers alone.

Richard took another swig, tapping a finger on the bar.

“So...you er, done anything fun today?”

“...not really.”

“Seen any new films?”

“...no.”

“...err...has Vitalis been in here today? I haven’t seen him.”

“...apologies, I have not.”

“...Y’know, I met a guy wayyyyyyyyy taller than you recently. Dude was like, 9 foot something. He was cool.”

“...very interesting mr Clydesgod.”

“...”

“...”

“...So how’s your lady friend Nessa then?”

Mattias froze, almost dropping his glass as a light pink hue appeared on his face. He looked over at Richard, his calm demeanour ceasing to exist.

“We-She is NOT my lady friend,” He replied, his accent finally revealing itself. He sounded Eastern European, from the Baltics if Richard remembered correctly. “She is just a customer who visits and runs her mouth a bit. She pays well, unlike you.”

“By running her mouth do you mean she’s helping you out?~ Common is she under there or somethin’?” Richard asked, attempting to lean over to view under the bar until Mattias pushed Richard’s shoulders back down, firmly onto the stool.

“You little...ugh, why do you always have to come here and act like such a twerp? I’ve dealt with annoying teens before but you’re somehow just, worse.” Mattias went back to cleaning his glass, placing it down below by simply squatting.

“It’s just nice to hear your voice after all. It’s so deep, no wonder the ladies go CRAZY for it.” He laughed, taking a rather bigger swig this time. “Man. Why do you gotta be so scared of milfs all the time?”

“Stop. Saying. That damn word!” The purple demon replied, gritting his teeth as he resisted the urge to throw a glass at him. “It’s not my fault people come here to pay attention to me! I’m only here to provide drinks and let the customers have their own fun. Not to get dragged into dates. Not like I can go on any. Work takes too much time.”

Richard scoffed.

“Hire someone then. Go get, like, 2 bartenders, so you can go out on the town and score some points with the hot older ladies,” He took another big swig, almost finishing his drink already. “What are you scared of anyway? Most ladies here seem to take a shine to you anyway, they leave the most tips!”

“It’s...complicated you lollakas,” He replied, turning around to make sure all the spirits and hard liquors were well organized. “I’ve got the bar to manage, little Uno to feed, taxes to do, myself to feed, a bunch of other stuff I cannot care less for. I don’t have enough time to get into a silly little relationship at the current moment.”

“...At the current moment?~” Richard asked, an eyebrow rising. Mattias’ blush simply grew bigger.

“S-shut-you. Ugh. Sa tapad mu,” He muttered, going back to organizing everything before he closes up. He looked behind, seeing Richard finishing his glass. “Don’t bother asking for another, you need to pay for this week and, besides, I’m closing up for the night.”

“Why’d you think I came then?” Richard replied, reaching behind and taking out a wallet. He rummaged around for a bit, taking out quite a lot of money and holding it out towards him. Mattias gave Richard a strange look, but took the money anyway. He counted it all, flicking through each note rapidly and taking a mental note of the total sum. Once worked out, he began to take some of the notes away.

“Hey, keep the change,” Richard replied, getting off of the stool and stretching. “Oof, that was a fine glass. I’ll see you around tomorrow Matti.” He started to walk off, waving behind at his favourite barkeep.

Mattias said nothing, simply staring and huffing before moving to the register and depositing the cash inside of it. There went his favorite patron. Well, maybe not his most favourite. There was Nessa-

He shook his head, taking Richard’s glass and placing it into a glass washer nearby. He checked his watch, it was Uno’s feeding time in a bit. Poor tortoise. He wondered if he could even realize how much work he did so the poor creature wouldn’t starve.

He sighed, turning on the glass washer and stretching his arms to the sides as to not knock anything over.

...Maybe he’d give Nessa a call tonight...

[ao3feed-hannor]

European Road Trip

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/300Gx9m

by misfortuneofthewannabeauthor

Connor's never been outside of America, so Hank takes him on a trip. An easily excitable deviant android, an out of shape hopeless romantic man, and a dopey St Bernard stuffed inside a red Volkswagen...what could go wrong?

Words: 14749, Chapters: 2/4, Language: English

Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Hank Anderson, Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Sumo (Detroit: Become Human)

Relationships: Hank Anderson/Connor

Additional Tags: Vacation, Road Trips, Established Relationship, silly fun, Domestic Fluff, Kissing, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson Deserves Happiness, Connor Deserves Happiness, Fluffy Ending, Light Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Good Dog Sumo (Detroit: Become Human), 3 dudes 1 Volkswagen, Dorks in Love, Adventure & Romance, TW: mentions Child Death, Child Death, TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts, Suicidal Thoughts, Making Up, Marriage Proposal, HankCon Reverse Big Bang

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/300Gx9m

[hannorlibrary]

by misfortuneofthewannabeauthor

Connor's never been outside of America, so Hank takes him on a trip. An easily excitable deviant android, an out of shape hopeless romantic man, and a dopey St Bernard stuffed inside a red Volkswagen...what could go wrong?

Words: 25849, Chapters: 4/4, Language: English

Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Hank Anderson, Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Sumo (Detroit: Become Human)

Relationships: Hank Anderson/Connor

Additional Tags: Vacation, Road Trips, Established Relationship, silly fun, Domestic Fluff, Kissing, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson Deserves Happiness, Connor Deserves Happiness, Fluffy Ending, Light Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Good Dog Sumo (Detroit: Become Human), 3 dudes 1 Volkswagen, Dorks in Love, Adventure & Romance, TW: mentions Child Death, Child Death, TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts, Suicidal Thoughts, Making Up, Marriage Proposal, HankCon Reverse Big Bang

[ao3feed-connor]

European Road Trip

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/300Gx9m

by misfortuneofthewannabeauthor

Connor's never been outside of America, so Hank takes him on a trip. An easily excitable deviant android, an out of shape hopeless romantic man, and a dopey St Bernard stuffed inside a red Volkswagen...what could go wrong?

Words: 14749, Chapters: 2/4, Language: English

Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Hank Anderson, Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Sumo (Detroit: Become Human)

Relationships: Hank Anderson/Connor

Additional Tags: Vacation, Road Trips, Established Relationship, silly fun, Domestic Fluff, Kissing, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson Deserves Happiness, Connor Deserves Happiness, Fluffy Ending, Light Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Good Dog Sumo (Detroit: Become Human), 3 dudes 1 Volkswagen, Dorks in Love, Adventure & Romance, TW: mentions Child Death, Child Death, TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts, Suicidal Thoughts, Making Up, Marriage Proposal, HankCon Reverse Big Bang

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/300Gx9m

[oopsjustafewthingsiforgottoabout]

Leighton Michael Jones

Basics

FC: Broderick Hunter

Known as: LJ, Lei, Lei-Lei (pet name), Ten Ton (Jersey Number is 10 in any sport), Age: 24 Birthday:  January 3, 1994 Sign: Capricorn Sexual Orientation: Pan Weight:. 185 lbs Body: Muscular Height: 6′3″ Eyes: Dark Brown Hair: Black, usually a fade. Sometimes the top is a little long Accent/Sounds Like: Broderick Hunter, but sometimes if you catch him when he’s mad, sick, or very tired, an African accent can be faintly heard. His dad has a thick-ish accent still and it has rubbed off on him a little. He tries to hide his accent when he can though. Species: Human Race/Ethnicity: Dominican, Jamaican, African, and French (with some other European stuff) on his mom’s side, and African and Indian on his dad’s side.

Leighton knows Swahili, Spanish, French, German, Patois, and Hindi. He can speak Spanish, Swahili, and French the best, but can understand the other languages just fine. He grew up mainly hearing Spanish, Swahili, and French in his household and with family. He rarely brings up the fact he knows so many languages.

Leighton’s lifelong dream is to take a picture with a tiger (one that is safe and being treated well of course!).He LOVES cats, big and small. They’re sort of his obsession. He also loves dogs though (mainly because they’re just as playful as he is).

Born: Ramstein Air Base, Germany Raised:  Lived in Germany until he was about 2 years old then moved to Montreal, QC where some his mother’s side of the family lives. Sister was born in Jamaica when her mother had to go down there to take care of some family. They also lived in Texas for a while. Went back to Europe for a short period of time, then came back the U.S. and lived in California.  Went to high school in Georgia, where his family stayed. Currently Located: TBD Occupation: TBD Former Occupation: In highschool Leighton worked at a hip pizza place. He also worked in retail for a few months before he went off to college.

Relationship Status: Single School/Education: High school diploma. Currently a medical student. Style: Most of the time his fashion is comfortable. He Habits: Taps his foot or taps pencil when deep in thought, chews on earbuds chord

Throughout high school, he played football and soccer. He plays basketball for fun. 

Personality

Positive Traits: playful, positive, silly, persistent, supportive, happy, courteous, polite

Negative Traits: stubborn, oblivious at times, impulsive, curious, impatient

Likes:  jokes, bad jokes, playing basketball, colorful outfits, traveling, hammocks, food, home-cooked meals, helping people, pizza, when his older patients flirt him (he finds it cute), harmless pranks, giving piggy-back rides, kissing in public, any kind of music people can dance to

Dislikes: people who abuse animals, people who abuse people, people who wear socks with sandals, under-cooked rice, bad Jamaican food, having to hide parts of himself from his family, being alone for too long, people who stand too close to you in line, clowns, sore losers, people who can’t take a joke, bouncers at clubs who take themselves too seriously, frogs, spiders, 

Favorite Places: TBD

Essentially, Leighton is a very friendly and fun-loving guy. Right now in his life, he is going through his version of true freedom, so sometimes he’s a little hesitant to dive into very serious relationships. He can also have a hard time being serious if it is outside of work or school. 

Family & Relationships

Relationship with family: Close, but enjoying his distance from them Mother: Jasmine Avita Bacot (43) -dentist Father: Daewon “Wayne” Mbadinuju Jones (46) -retired veteran, now works as a well-paying mechanical job of sorts Siblings: Kali Elizabeth Jones (21), Biology major and 

Daewon’s parents found themselves in America when he was just a young boy. His family lived in Queens, New York for a while before moving to New Jersey. Growing up, Daewon was often bullied and ostracized for being darker than the other kids and for having a different accent.He was teased for always smelling like curry and dressing differently. He begged his parents, who also ran into social issues of their own, to help him “more American”. Some neighbors insisted his family try going to their Christian church. At first, it was just to blend in show everyone he was just like everyone else.  As he grew older, however, his faith in Christianity grew stronger because it was through the Christian church he was able to “have it easier”. He started going by the name Wayne and became a very devout man. 

After he graduated highschool at 18, Daewon joined the U.S. Air Force. During basic training, however, Daewon faced similar issues he had growing up. He was tired of ethnic name giving him problems. One of the sergeants on his first day took one look at his surname, shook his had, and said,” How ‘bout I just call you Jones?” Once Daewon was out of basic training, he changed his last name to “Jones”, making Mbadinuju his middle name he never speaks of. 

While stationed in Germany when he was 21, he met a gorgeous woman, 18 at the time, in a bar while he and his fellow airmen were out on the town. It was love at first sight. Jasmine Bacot, an African, Jamaican, Spanish, and French Canadian, was in Germany with her father, an engineer. The two hit it off instantly. Within a year they were married and when Jasmine was 19, she found out he was pregnant with a son. 

As he started his family, Daewon fell back in love with culture. Faith brought him a loving wife and a healthy boy. Somehow Daewon found a way to balance and celebrate culture while staying a devout Christian. He saw the diversity of his family as a blessing and celebrated it. While in Jamaica, visiting Jasmine’s family, the couple gave birth to their daughter three years later. 

Leighton and his family are close, especially his sister, but he is enjoying his time away from them. His parents are loving and supporting, but strict. Their Christian values made Leighton and Kali feel like they couldn’t fully be themselves. Sure, they were encouraged to be creative and expressive, but with a few limitations. Daewon and Jasmine attended every competition, school event, and any other extracurricular activities, despite the two of them having their own busy careers.

Partners: Through high school, Leighton had three or four girlfriends. He had a high school crush on guy but only told his sister about it. When he moved away after high school, he had his first gay experience with a guy named Chase. They didn’t work out because Chase wanted to get serious while Leighton wanted to explore his new life. There was one more guy after that. 

TWs: