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the-void-i-scream-into · 4 years ago

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White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 1/3

Full Story: Part 2, Part 3

Hello everyone! I hope everyone who is reading this is healthy and safe. This is a fanfic about my favorite characters, Kang Sujin and Han Seojun. I really love these two together so I wrote what I had hoped to see in True Beauty. This is my first time writing fanfiction so its not that good. But I hope you still enjoy it. I didn’t change anything from True Beauty, rather continued the events from the ending with a focus on giving Sujin the redemption arc she so rightly deserved.

I really have to thank everyone on the shooters gc, especially @prodmina, for being so amazing and awesome. Never before have I come accross such amazing, wonderful, open and friendly group of people. I’m not that active on the chat, but I am so grateful it exists. Thank you to everyone on there. This is dedicated to you all.

Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun

Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers

Word Count: 5.9k

Rating: T

PART 1

If you asked Han Seojun why he loved Lim Jukyung, he wouldn’t be able to answer. His feelings for her overwhelmed him to the point of inarticulation. His heart still skipped a beat every time he saw her at dinner with their group. He still found himself staring at her from time to time, unable to look away from her beauty. He even wrote songs about her, his only form of expressing his love for her.

He still thought of her in every free minute he had between practice, performance and recording sessions. When he couldn’t see her, he would watch her make-up tutorials online. He was proud of how far she had come with her career as a make-up artist. Her popularity was a source of delight for him. It was only appropriate that everyone see how amazing she was.

The only problem was, Lim Jukyung didn’t belong to him. She belonged to Lee Suho, his best friend.

Seojun was happy for the two of them. They were the best people he knew and even he had to acknowledge that they belonged together. Which was why, having these feelings were burdensome for Seojun.

It was burdensome, seeing them all lovey-dovey with each other and talking about their lives together. Normally Seojun would have faked a smile, but when they were all together in a group he scowled without reserve. He got away with it because right beside Suho and Jukyung, sat Taehoon and Suah who were the kind of cheesy couple that made anyone barf.

In fact, just the thought of Suah and Taehoon fawning over each other made him cringe. Even now as he walked into the special private room they frequented for their gatherings—private due to Seojun’s and Jukyung’s popularity—Seojun was pushing back his gag reflex at the squealing he could hear outside.

He scolded them as he entered the room. “Guys! I can hear you all the way from the front entrance. Why are you always so—” He stopped in his tracks. There, between a giggling Jukyung and beaming Suah sat the worst person Seojun had ever known.

Her.

He had heard peripherally about how she had changed now, having reformed as a charity worker. She had apparently apologized to Jukyung about the shitty things she had done before. As if an apology could change anything.

Han Seojun knew Jukyung had forgiven Kang Sujin. That woman had even attended Heekyung’s wedding. But Seojun didn’t understand why she had to invade their special gatherings.

The room had fallen silent. Everyone awkwardly stared at Seojun, then Sujin.

“It’s been a while, Han Seojun.” She said with a polite smile. Her voice deeper than most girls’. He always hated her voice and its lack of femininity.

Ya Han Seojun, are you a gangster?!

Seojun pushed the memory away.

“Ah-aah! Han Seojun. You must be surprised.” Jukyung said with forced cheerfulness. “I invited Sujin to join us today.

Seojun merely flicked a cynical brow at Jukyung and took his usual seat besides Suho. Suah and Jukyung nervously returned to their conversation.

The uncomfortable air in the room subsided after a while and everyone chatted cheerfully with each other. Everyone except Han Seojun.

“I saw your performance on TV. You looked good.” Suho told Seojun.

“Why the hell have you invited Kang Soojin?” Seojun asked Suho in a hushed tone.

“She’s a friend, of course she’s invited.”

“Why are you friends with her again?”

“Seojun, its fine.”

Seojun opened his mouth to protest but before he could, Sujin interrupted him.

“Ya, Han Seojun. I saw your performance on TV. I didn’t know you could sing so well.” She said, not sounding too impressed. “You were great.”

It was a peace offering. A way to start off on the right foot.

Seojun gave a sarcastic smile and tilted his head. “You should have known I was that good. I performed in school, didn’t I?”

“Oh right. I guess I didn’t really pay attention before.”

“You were too busy giving all of your attention to Lee Suho. I don’t expect you to have noticed anybody else.”

This time, the silence in the room was palpable. Taehoon audibly gulped. The only person unfazed was Sujin.

“Yeah. I was obsessed with Suho.” She said simply. “But now that I look back,” she made a frame with her forefingers and thumbs, “I think what the hell does Jukyung see in you?”

“Ya!” Suho protested so seriously that Jukyung giggled, breaking the tension.

“Honestly Jukyung. You’d be better off with me as your boyfriend.” Suah and Taehoon joined the laughter.

“Ya Kang Sujin, you stay away from my girlfriend.” Suho protested, pouting.

“You’re too serious, Lee Suho. Jukyung needs someone more fun.”

“At least I don’t go around kicking people in the face.”

“You wouldn’t be able to do it, even if you tried.”

“I know jujitsu, you know.”

“Okay, okay!” Jukyung said. And that was it, the friends were back to normal.

Seojun kept out of the conversations, eating and drinking on his own. No one dared to bother him lest he say something else to ruin the mood.

Han Seojun didn’t care to maintain a good mood. He had no tolerance for people like Kang Sujin; people who were bullies. And especially not when said bully had hurt someone he cared about very deeply. He didn’t buy this act that Sujin was pulling. He knew, that people never changed.

The conversation turned to Sujin and her charity work overseas. She talked animatedly about the children she and her non-profit group worked for. It made Seojun’s blood boil, how she was using a noble cause as a front for her true cold-hearted personality. That angel bullshit may work on others, but it would not work on Seojun.

He kept a close eye on her the entire time, almost glaring to the point where Suho had to poke him with his elbow to get him to look away. But Suho was blind, he should have seen how Sujin’s face gave the barest of glances of pain when he and Jukyung kissed each other and pulled each other’s cheeks and talked about living together.

“Oh, you guys share an apartment?” No one else noticed the high-pitchiness of Sujin’s voice when she asked this. No one, expect Seojun.

And then there was the stolen glances at Suho. That was the final nail in the coffin. Seojun was convinced that Sujin was pretending to be over Suho. She was still in love with him. And that was a problem.

“What’s wrong with you?” Suho confronted Seojun outside, when it was just the two of them waiting for the others to leave.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you know the kind of person Kang Sujin is? How can you let her in again?”

“Calm down, Seojun-ah. That was all years ago.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that she hurt Jukyung.”

“She’s not a bad person. I know her better than you. She made a mistake.”

“She knew what she was doing.”

“Haven’t you ever made a mistake before? Or are you telling me that blaming me for Seyeon’s death was the right thing to do?”

Seojun was quiet.

“Seojun-ah, don’t take this the wrong way. You have a tendency to judge too quickly, and misunderstand. If you really hate her that much then talk to her and ask her about her reasons. Don’t just go on assuming something is the way it is because you think so.”

Seojun grit his teeth.

“Shall we go?” Jukyung came up from behind, taking Suho’s arm. The rest of the group was behind her.

“Yeah. Bye everyone. See you next time.” The couple waved as others waved back. “Seojun, I hope you’ll think about what I said.”

Seojun just nodded and waved too. He watched Jukyung and Suho disappear into the crowd on the street.

The rest of them said their goodbyes and went their way, Seojun leaving after giving Sujin a distrusting side-eye.

ii.

I don’t want to be a fool like you and be just friends, only to like him one sidedly.

It had been such a long time ago when Kang Sujin had said this to Han Seojun, but he remembered it like it was yesterday. That and a couple of other memories that played in his mind, causing whiplash.

Ya Han Seojun, are you a gangster?!

Those words especially felt like a slap on his face. He could actually feel his cheek burning at the image of Kang Sujin standing there in her uniform, telling off him and his boys about bullying Jukyung.

He had respected her back then, for having the guys to stand up for her friend. Even though she had been all haughty like some arrogant princess and thought him a fool, he had still respected her. He had never expected her to turn out to be such a vile person.

Am I handsome?

Yes.

No, no, no. That was one incident he refused to remember. It meant nothing. Only a source of surprise at her bluntness, nothing more.

“Seojun, we’re going to hit the showers now, are you done?”

Seojun didn’t hear Chorong as he ran on the treadmill. His body was in the gym but his mind as fully occupied by Kang Sujin, as it had been for the past week.

“Han Seojun, are you listening?”

She must have had a reason for suddenly showing up out of the blue. She had disappeared completely when the truth about her had been revealed online. Obviously, she ran away like a coward. If she was back now, it must be because she wanted something. Kang Sujin could be very calculating and manipulative.

Was it because of Lee Suho?

“Han Seojun!”

Chorong’s voice snapped Seojun out of his thoughts and he fell backward from his treadmill.

“OOOH! Are you okay?”

“YA! Why would you do that?!” Seojun snapped at Chorong as he got back up. He checked himself for bruises though his dignity caught the worst of it.

“Ah-nee, I called you so many times. You were totally checked out.” Chorong explained.

“Does that make sense? Why would I be checked out?”

“Well… you have been out of it this past week. Has something been bothering you?”

Something had been bothering him; something with silky, black hair and long legs.

“What? You met Kang Sujin?” His entire posse sounded as he told them about her return. Seojun put a finger in his ears as he was bombarded with questions.

“Did she apologize to Jukyung? Are they friends now?”

“Did she tell where she was all that time?”

“Is she still pretty?”

“Is she single?”

“What is she doing these days?”

Seojun ignored all of these useless inquiries.

“Hey! Did you al forget the kind of person she is? How could you ask if she is still pretty?”

“She must be. I bet she’s still the same.”

“She was never pretty.” Seojun declared. “I can never understand what people see in her.”

“That’s because you only have eyes for one.” One of them teased and the rest of them Ooh-ed like school girls.

“Ah, shikkeureo! Shut up!” Chorong said in defense of Seojun. Out of everyone, Chorong understood best how much Seojun still pined for Jukyung. “So, what exactly is bothering you about Kang Sujin?”

“I don’t trust her. Especially around Jukyung.”

“Wae? Do you think she might still be after Lee Suho.”

“Yes. At least I suspect so. I’m not sure what game she’s playing at but I’m not buying this angel persona she has on.”

“So? You can’t exactly stop Jukyung from choosing to be friends with her.”

“I feel I can convince Jukyung if I talk to her.”

“She might just tell you to try to get along with Sujin.”

This was true. Jukyung was too nice and trusting with people. Seojun thought long and hard.

“I’ll have to protect her. I’ll have to keep Kang Sujin away from Jukyung.”

iii.

He had been on his way to the studio, casually riding by on his bike, when he saw her. She was in some blue vest, clearly a uniform of some sort. She was handing out fliers to people who passed by, smiling widely with that fake innocent look she had perfected. What a crock of shit. Seojun swerved around and parked his bike, then sauntered up to her with an amused expression.

She lit up when she saw him approach, waving animatedly at him. Her happiness upon seeing him surprised him so much that he stumbled and almost fell. He played it off as nothing, hoping she hadn’t noticed.

“Ya Han Seojun, gimme your autograph.” She grinned as she pushed forward a petition to help kids in Africa.

Seojun didn’t take it. “What are you doing?” He asked rhetorically, looking at the pictures of children she had set up for people to see along with information as to how to donate. So she’s using these poor kids for her own selfish reasons?

“Huh?” Sujin hadn’t missed his tone. “Just sign it, its for a good cause. And being charitable will help your image too, no?” She tried appealing to his logic.

“Ooooh,” Seojun mocked, “So you keep up the pretense even when you’re not around Jukyung? Isn’t this a too much, Kang Sujin?”

Sujin’s smile dropped into a snarl, “What?”

“I’m on to you, Kang Sujin.” Seojun got up in her face. “Ah-nee, if you’re going to pretend to be all reformed then you shouldn’t make it too obvious. Charity work is a little too on the nose, don’t you think?”

Sujin stared at him in shock and anger. Seojun suddenly recalled how well Sujin had kicked those thugs who had kidnapped Jukyung back in high school and gulped. He hoped she wouldn’t try to kill him in public but it was too late to take back what he said.

“Han Seojun…” Sujin said through clenched teeth and Seojun prepared for the worst.

Ya Han Seojun! Are you a gangster?!

But she said nothing. Instead she calmed herself, exhaling through her mouth.

“I probably deserve that.” She said, not backing away or cowering from him. She pushed the flier in his chest, “But don’t make these kids suffer because of your anger towards me. They could really use the support.”

Seojun looked down at the flier. He couldn’t sign anything without the consent of his agency. So he folded it up and pocketed it. Along with his pride. He could put his ego aside for a good cause.

“These kids deserve a better person representing them than you.” Seojun said. Sujin pressed her lips tightly.

“Aren’t you being a little too harsh? I’m not the same person anymore. And Jukyung has—”

“You may have everyone else fooled, Kang Sujin. But I will always remember what you are.” With that, Seojun walked away, his hand twitching.

iv.

The next time they all met up, Seojun made sure to sit between Sujin and Jukyung. He felt uncomfortable because he had to bump shoulders with her, but he would bear it for Jukyung.

Suho gave Seojun a warning look when they all sat down. Don’t do anything excessive, the look said. Seojun ignored it.

He could feel Sujin’s stiffness beside him. This was uncomfortable for her too. Good. If I’m suffering, she should too. But she kept up her polite façade, smiling like nothing bothered her.

Seojun made sure to keep her isolated from Jukyung. He didn’t let her speak to Jukyung, didn’t let her participate in the competitions. He even didn’t let her eat properly.

“Jukyung-ah, did I show you my pictures from—”

“Jukyung-ah, has your sister told you about the tour we’re planning?” Seojun interrupted.

Jukyung would be at a loss as to who to answer and Seojun would move forward, blocking Sujin.

When Suho or Jukyung tried to ask Sujin what she wanted to eat first, he took the first dish he saw and shoved it in front of her.

“Here, have this Kang Sujin.”

“I don’t want it.” She said with an unamused look.

“Take it.” He ordered in his intimidating baritone.

They glared at each other , Sujin’s face twitching with annoyance. Seojun mentally dared her to snap at him but she swallowed her pride, quite literally, and put on a fake smile.

“Thanks.” She said dryly.

By the end of dinner, Han Seojun had successfully managed to annoy Kang Sujin. Her fake persona was slipping as she clenched her jaw and exhaled excessively to keep her temper in check. Seojun guessed he would have her true personality on display by the end of the night.

“Han Seojun what are you doing?” Suho confronted him outside.

“What did I do?” Seojun feigned ignorance.

“You need to sto—”

“Han Seojun. Let’s talk.” Sujin strode up to them from behind, her face set with determination.

“No.” Seojun said.

“I wasn’t asking. I was telling.” And there she was, the old Sujin. Gone was the politeness and friendly demeanor. She stared boldly at him, almost challenging him to refuse again.

“Seojun-ah, just hear her out.” Jukyung broke through their staring match. Seojun could never say no to her. But he didn’t get a chance to say yes either.

Sujin simply commanded, “Follow me,” and grabbed the collar of his jacket, dragging him away.

“Ya! What are you doing?!” But Kang Sujin was stronger than she looked and Seojun found himself being pulled against his will.

The rest of them could only stare.

“Do you think they’ll be alright?” Suah asked, concerned.

“Nope. I’m certain they’ll kill each other.” Suho replied nonchalantly.

“My money’s on Sujin.” Taehoon and Suah said together.

“You’re on.” Suho replied.

iv.

“Are you crazy? How could you grab me like that?” Seojun smoothened the collar of his coat that Sujin had bunched up in her fist. She had let go when he had said that he would follow enough times. They walked together, Sujin going ahead of him. He quickly put on his mask. “How can a girl be so strong?” He said under his breath. Then spoke aloud, “Is this any way to treat an idol?”

Sujin suddenly turned on her heels, stopping Seojun in his tracks. She was a little too close for comfort and looked intimidated with that unfiltered anger on her face. “Just shut up and follow.”

Seojun put his hands on his hips, tilting his head. He was unimpressed by her tough attitude. He gestured forward with his chin, “Then move.”

He followed her, keeping a small distance between them. She marched forward, taking long strides with her long, long legs. She looked like a general going to war.

“She calls me a thug. She should look at herself.” He mumbled.

Sujin led them to a secluded pocha, street food vendor with small plastic seats housed inside a plastic tent. Seojun adjusted his mask.

“Relax, no one here is going to recognize you.” Sujin said, sensing his discomfort. Indeed, when Seojun looked around, all he saw were hold ahjusshis getting drunk and babbling nonsense. None of them seemed like his fans.

Still, Sujin led them in a corner table and sat where he was hidden by her. She ordered two bottles of soju and side dishes for him. He simply watched with his arms crossed.

The silence between them was awkward and heavy. Neither of them said anything. Han Seojun openly stared at Sujin. Kang Sujin looked everywhere but him. The lady brought them their order. Sujin effortlessly opened a bottle and moved to fill his glass. Seojun put his hand on top of his glass to stop her.

With a sigh, he took the bottle from her and poured for himself. She followed suit. They both took a shot.

Sujin sat up straight, shuffling in her seat. She first looked down at her hands in her lap, then looked up, straight in his eyes.

“Mianhae.” It took him by surprise. More than that, the regret on her face moved him. If only by an inch. “I’m sorry, Han Seojun. What I did back then… I was going through some personal issues, and I took it out on Jukyung. But even that is not a good enough excuse. I shouldn’t have done what I did. And even what I said to you… even after you gave me a chance to delete the video… I’m sorry.” She gulped and Seojun mirrored her. “You were right. I was only destroying myself. I should have seen that. But I have changed now. I’m not the same person. I know you’re important to Jukyung. So I hope we can get along from now on.”

Seojun took another shot. He took a minute, considering her words.

“If its forgiveness you want, then Kang Sujin, there is nothing to forgive between us. Your fight was with Jukyung. Not me.” Sujin appeared relieved till Seojun added, “However, my problem with you isn’t because of old grudges. I just can’t trust you, Kang Sujin. I believe you still will hurt Jukyung, even if you don’t mean to. And I can’t let that happen.”

Sujin’s mouth became small. She jutted her jaw, pouring another shot for herself. She downed it aggressively before responding. “I’m not the same girl anymore. I’m not in love with—”

“I keep hearing that you’ve changed. But have you really? Can you honestly tell me that you’re over him?”

“I am over him.”

“Bull shit. I saw the way you were looking Suho. All throughout dinner—”

“Aren’t you just projecting your own feelings onto me?” Sujin interrupted.

Seojun laughed incredulously, “What?”

“The one who’s not over their unrequited love is you. You’re not over Jukyung.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. All these years you’ve been pretending to be her friend. Aren’t you the one being two faced?”

“I’ve already confessed to her. We even went on a date.” Seojun crossed his arms with a smirk.

This was news to Sujin, “Aah. Is that so? Then isn’t that more pathetic? Even though she clearly doesn’t want you—”

“Ya, Kang Sujin.”

“—you’re still not over her. I too saw how you looked at her. With that pathetic puppy dog expression on your face. Don’t you think this is awkward for Jukyung? Sitting there with her boyfriend and—”

“Shut your damn mouth.”

“Wae? Don’t like it when the tables are turned on you?” Sujin and Seojun glared at each other with hatred. Seojun poured and downed a shot. Sujin swallowed and looked away. This was not how she imagined this conversation going.

“I’m not in love with her.” Seojun declared.

Sujin snorted, “Hul. Then why is it you who is giving me this lecture and not Lee Suho? If I’m really such a threat to Lim Jukyung, then shouldn’t her boyfriend be the one to confront me? What gives you the right to treat me this way?”

Seojun paused. “I can give you a million reasons; that I’m her friend, that even though I’m not her boyfriend, she stills relies on me, that I’m doing this out of humanity.”

Sujin scoffed.

“That I don’t want to lose another friend because of bullying.”

Sujin’s face fell. She licked her lips as she considered his point of view. Then, wordlessly, she poured him a drink.

“I’m not a bully. I never was. I did a shitty thing that I’ve apologized for and now I’d like to move on with my life.” She poured herself a shot of soju too. “I care about Jukyung. I will always regret what I did to her. But I still have a chance at friendship and I am going to take it whether you like it or not.”

They both took the shot. Sujin poured them another.

“We both care about Jukyung. And she would want us to get along, or at least pretend to for her sake.” Sujin gave Seojun a pointed look. The ball was in his court now.

Seojun remembered how uncomfortable Jukyung had been because of his hostility towards Sujin. True, Sujin wasn’t the kind to be trusted. Seojun was a man of action, he didn’t believe in hollow words. But it was also true that fighting with Sujin all the time would cause problems in their peaceful little group. And although he was sure that when it came to it, everyone would choose him and not her, he still held up the shot glass and said, “For Jukyung’s sake.”

The two drunken enemies staggered on the sidewalk, each supporting the other while trying not to fall; a drunk trying to steady another drunk.

“Ah-nee-ya, I’m not *hic* not in love with Jukyung. I don… I don…”

“Arassssso. And I’mf the Pwincess of England.” Sujin slurred, pushing Seojun upright as she tried to hail a taxi.

“Na ah-nee-ya. I’m not. Nope.” Seojun hiccuped.

“Ah just sstand still!” Sujin pushed his body away but his arm was still draped over her shoulder.

“Ah sshutup! Shut up you stupid Suijin!” Seojun started snickering at his own statement, “Hehehe. Stupid Suji. Sujinnie phabo.” Seojun pushed his weight onto her, still chortling.

“Ah stand still!!” Sujin wrapped an arm around his waist to hold him up. She was suddenly very aware of just how tall he was. Even with her own impressive height, he seemed too big.

A taxi finally stopped and Sujin struggled with pushing Seojun inside. She pushed him in with her legs when he bent over on the seat but refused to move further to give her room.

“Where to?” The driver asked when they both were seated.

“Han Seojun, tell him your address.”

Seojun fell to the other side, passed out. Sujin, who herself felt like passing out, leaned over to tap his face, “Han Seojun? Ya! Wake uuup.” He did not.

“Are we leaving or not?” The driver asked impatiently.

Sujin shook Seojun again. He stirred, only to mumble Jukyung’s name and pass out on her shoulder again. Sujin looked at the driver helplessly.

vi.

The first thing Seojun felt was the pounding headache, it brought him out of a very nice dream he’d been having that he promptly forgot. He could feel his legs sticking out from the side of the bed. In turning over, his elbow punched into something.

“Oof! Ow! What the hell!”

Sujin kicked at him as she pressed her ribs in pain. They both were surprised to find themselves tangled in each other. It took them exactly three seconds to start screaming.

They both flew off the bed, Sujin hitting Seojun repeatedly with her pillow.

“Ow! Ow! Ah! OW!”

“Why. Are. You. In. My. Bed?!”

“Why am I here? Why are you here?”

“This is my room asshole!”

Seojun grabbed Sujin’s wrist to keep her from hitting him. He looked around and indeed it was Sujin’s room.

“What the hell happened?” He asked.

She kicked him in the shin, “How the hell would I know? Explain yourself, Han Seojun!”

“You explain! How can I end up here if you didn’t bring me?”

Sujin’s raised foot, about to kick Seojun, slowly lowered. She was suddenly hit with the memory of last night. Drunkenly trying to enter the code to her door as Seojun whined about missing Jukyung, stumbling into her apartment and dragging Seojun by his collar to the couch, falling on top of him as he fell and then immediately picking herself up and going into her room to pass out.

Seojun put his hands on his hips defiantly, “Kang Sujin. We got drunk last night didn’t we? Aish, chincha. I never thought you’d be the kind of girl to take advantage of a guy like that.”

“Ah-ni-godun! That would never happen! I only brought you here because you wouldn’t tell me your address.”

“Ah, what a nice excuse. And whose idea was it to go drinking any way? Was this your plan all along? Of course, its understandable that you’d want a rebound with the most handsome guy around.”

Sujin scoffed in disbelief. “That’s not the case!” She protested. “And what handsome? I find you laughable.”

“And I find you detestable.”

“Then why did you come into my bedroom when I left you out on the couch?”

A flash of memory sparked in Seojun’s mind; of getting up, using Sujin’s bathroom and going into the bedroom thinking he was at Chorong’s place.

The red spreading on his cheeks was a dead giveaway to Sujin that she had him.

Seojun cleared his throat, “No matter what, this isn’t what it looks like.”

“Of course, it doesn’t.”

They stood there awkwardly for a moment as they wondered what to do next. They both spoke together.

“You should probably go.”

“I should leave.”

A rare agreement. They both nodded in sync.

“But… is there a back door to your apartment? I can risk having my face seen leaving a girl’s apartment.”

Sujin licked her lips as she considered this. “I think I have an idea.”

From the outside, Kang Sujin’s apartment door cracked open, just enough for two heads to poke out to check if the coast was clear. One of those heads was wearing a beanie, a mask and sunglasses. The other was Sujin. They both sneaked out of her apartment and beelined for the emergency stairs.

“Why is your apartment so up high?”

“We can always go in the elevator where my neighbors can see you.”

“I hate you.”

Finally making it out the back exit, the two relaxed.

“How are you going to get home?” She asked him.

“I’ll take the bus. Nobody will recognize me when I’m like this.”

“You shouldn’t underestimate fangirls.”

Seojun chuckled, “Never do. Bye then.”

Seojun turned, then paused, then turned back. “Kang Sujin.” He called out to her just as she was about to go in. “Thanks… for not just abandoning me last night.” It was the most difficult thank-you he had ever said.

Sujin simply nodded. “Get home safely.”

vii.

Sujin didn’t remember going back up to her apartment, just the click of the door shutting behind her that pulled her out of her daze.

She had just spent the night with Han Seojun. Admittedly, it meant nothing, but it still felt weird and she didn’t know what to do about it.

Maybe I should have asked him to eat before he went. He must have been hungry. She thought. And then scolded herself, Ah-nee, why would I care about him? He doesn’t matter to me anyway.

Traces of Han Seojun still lingered in her apartment; the bedsheet that had fallen on the floor, along with the pillow she had assaulted him with, his spicy scent on the bed and a metal ring on her bedside table that he must have taken off during the night.

Sujin held up the ring, looking through it. She would give it to him later, if they met again. She hoped they didn’t. She was already dreading the thought of encountering him again.

Kang Sujin didn’t let herself think too much about last night. She changed her sheets, showered and firmly put all thoughts of a certain idol out of her mind. He was just a silly twerp who had been a thug in high school and was now just an idol. He had nothing to do with her, nor she with him.

She had better things to do, like her work.

If you’re going to pretend to be all reformed then you shouldn’t make it too obvious. Charity work is a little too on the nose, don’t you think?

Nope, she wasn’t going to let that idiot get to her. Who was he to treat her like this? Next time she saw him, she would kick him in the face. Yes, that’s what she would do.

I keep hearing that you’ve changed. But have you really? Can you honestly tell me that you’re over him?

All day long Sujin’s hand twitched with the need to be scrubbed clean. They kept getting clammy and sticky. She wanted to scrub, scurb, scurb them of all the dirt and the grime and the filth of her past self. Sujin had believed that she had kicked this bad habit of unnecessarily cleaning her hands, but apparently she hadn’t.

My problem with you isn’t because of old grudges. I just can’t trust you, Kang Sujin. I believe you still will hurt Jukyung, even if you don’t mean to.

“Well who the hell wants your trust?” Sujin argued with the wind.

“Is everything okay?” One of the girls she worked with asked.

“What? Oh-um-yeah. Everything is fine! Just… talking to myself.” She put on a fake cheery attitude and shook her head.

It was only when Sujin’s day was finally over, and she was back in her empty apartment, leaning against her front door, that let herself feel the misery she had been suppressing.

Of course that Han Seojun hates me. What reason does he have not to?

Even the person who had been obligated to love and protect her, had only ever seen her as worthless. If her own father, couldn’t treat her with decency, then why should she expect a stranger to?

Her small apartment suddenly seemed so much bigger now. Big and empty, with shadows extending from the ground to the roof.

Kang Sujin, were you always such a piece of trash?

She hadn’t answered him back then. But in these quiet moments, she allowed herself to admit, “Yes, Han Seojun. I was always such a worthless piece of trash.”

Back when she had been a kid—running away from her problems in school, from what she had done to Jukyung—she would let this darkness take over. It would eat her inside and out till she was just a shell. However, now that he had grown up, she had learned how to deal with this on her own.

Sujin pushed herself off of the door and walked into her room, turning on all of the lights. Rest, she needed rest. And food, before anything else. Most of the time her depression would just be weakness caused by hunger. She was indeed careless with her health.

Her phone buzzed suddenly. It was a message from Jukyung. She would respond later. First she would spend time on herself. But then, almost immediately, there was a message from Suah. Then Suho. Even Taehoon. Then the phone lit up with a call from Jukyung.

“What’s going o—”

“Kang Sujin, have you seen the articles?”

“What?”

“There’s articles about you and Seojun dating.”

“WHAT?” It took Sujin a full minute to process what Jukyung was saying. She was speaking but Sujin didn’t hear the rest. Jukyung’s voice was muted from the speaker as Sujin searched through Naver for her and Seojun’s name.

“It’s all over the internet.” Jukyung was saying. “Someone’s posted pictures of you and Seojun together. Sujin-ah. Is that really you? Are you and Seojun dating?”

The room began to spin and Sujin had the urge to kick someone in the face.

“Jukyung-ah. I’ll call you back.”

What the hell happened?”

The articles Sujin found showed her and Seojun exiting her building. It was from this morning. Seojun’s face was well hidden but she could be clearly seen. From the way the pictures were taken, it looked as if the two were involved in something together.

Sujin’s phone suddenly lit up with an unknown number. She knew it could only be Han Seojun.

She pressed answer.

Some JunJin images I came up with just for fun

#junjin #Kang Sujin #Han Seojun #True Beauty #True Beauty Kdrama #Kdrama Fanfiction #True Beauty Fanfiction #Seojun x Sujin #Kang Soojin #Kang Sujin Fanfiction #Han Seojun Fanfiction #kdrama #fanfiction #park yoona #hwang inyeop

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xsterois · 8 years ago

Text

[ALL ABOUT SHINHWA COMPANY] - Chapter 1. About SM Entertainment

The History of SHINHWA’s Relationship with Entertainment Companies: ALL ABOUT SHINHWA COMPANY

Original author: 미코 MIKO [2013.12.29] Original post: http://blog.naver.com/secgarden/150182106794

Chinese translation: 海天月夜 [2015.06.02] Chinese post: http://www.weibo.com/1251889924/CkJ1Gdqjc?from=page_1005051251889924_profile&wvr=6&mod=weibotime&type=comment#_rnd1488141816655

Chinese translation: Bestshinhwa [2015.09.01] Chinese post: http://www.weibo.com/p/1001603882403276969902

English translation: xsterois [2017]

Chapter 1. About SM Entertainment

It’s not unfamiliar that Shinhwa debuted around the end of 90s, at the blooming period of the creation of ‘idol’, and being called ‘First Generation Idol’. After H.O.T and S.E.S, leading the idol entertainment companies, they were SM Entertainment’s third product.

About Shinhwa’s audition

The above image is ranked by the date Shinhwa members joined as a trainee. We don’t have to talk much about what happened before debut, in short:

Andy who was living in America formed a dance group with few Korean friends, joined a dance competition and got casted by Lee Sooman. After that he was picked as the final member of H.O.T, but gave up due to his mother’s worry about debuting at a young age, hence went back to America. After a year, Lee Sooman met Andy again in LA and brought him back to Korea. (At this time, some believe that Andy is already chosen as a Shinhwa member, but it’s unknown whether if it is a rumour among fans or a rumour from Lee Sooman.)

As a foreign student, Shin Hyesung was casted in a SM audition held in LA. It was in 1996, and was the same year that Lee Sooman met Andy again, and according to Andy as a trainee that time, after listening to Shin Hyesung’s vocal, Lee Sooman exclaimed “It’s really great isn’t it”.

Eric same as Shin Hyesung, was casted though LA audition. Although he joined the audition as suggested by Andy, he already met Lee Sooman in the past. And according to Lee Sooman and Andy, Eric was already popular among Korean students at that time.

Lee Minwoo studied at Jeonju Art High school, he joined Everland Dance Competition with friends and got casted by a SM manager. (His friend who was also casted as a trainee wasn’t able to become a Shinhwa memebr but debuted through other entertainment company)

Junjin studied at Ogeum High School who was already famous for his dancing skills. And through sunbae Ahn Chilhyun, H.O.T Kangta suggested him to be a trainee.

At last, Kim Dongwan was popular as a band vocal in Whimoon High School. He also gained the title of ‘Whimoon’s Moses’ (Meaning that wherever he walked past, students separated a road like Red Sea for him.)

tvN The List 130311:

About Kim Dongwan at Whimoon High School

youtube

Different companies wanted to get Kim Dongwan in and they even sent special manager for him, knowing all his schedules following him around to get a chance (as reported by DSP relations). Until one day Kim Dongwan was unexpectedly casted by a SM manager on street, while holding a big teddy bear for his girlfriend.

None the less, they gathered as trainees and after one year to few months of training, only six were chosen to debut as Shinhwa’s final members.

People call them SM’s mischievous icon.

Different to other idols with a mysterious concept (especially SM’s H.O.T and S.E.S), arguing with fans outside the dorm, getting drunk, bringing a television to play games at broadcast stations, escaped dorm but got caught and all received punishment, etc. Until now these were remained as legend stories in the industry, and you can find these easily on different humour-sites as Shinhwa’s history.

Therefore even after 10 years, I believe that their weird and extraordinary stories will remain on the internet. And that because of the contrasting image to other idols during such time, their unique image brought them to the exposure in variety.

In 1999, Shinhwa’s 2nd Album (T.O.P) brought them a late-coming huge response, forming the unique passionate fans, and achieved their goals. In the 5 years of contract period, even though there were various incidents (especially the life threatening accidents).

They continued in striving and working hard, showing a different style with every album.

At that time, I also thought their story will conclude with a happy ending...

With the passing of time, 5 years of “idols’ maximum survival time” went by, Shinhwa and SM’s contract came to an end in 2003.

During that time, groups debuted before Shinhwa or debuted at similar time declared disbandment, even without an official announcement, the members left and worked in different fields. At that time, the running period of idols were expected to be around 5 years, and the number of albums was also ended at 5. However, Shinhwa in 2002 released their 6th Album. From that time onwards, they began slowing breaking the limits of idols.

Recalling SM Entertainment sunbae idol groups, in 2001 due to conflicts between members and company, H.O.T went in a status of “half disbandment”. S.E.S in 2002 disbanded according to members’ will, and debuted as solo singers.

And in 2003, when everyone expected SM’s third child, Shinhwa will go through the same path as the other idols.

But as we all know, such expectation did not came true. Before talking about Shinhwa’s next decision, let’s look into their experience in SM Entertainment which may considered as a turning point.

Chapter 1.5. Shinhwa Promoting as 5 (2001)

When Shinhwa released their 4th Album in 2001, without Andy, promoting as 5 members is what everyone knows. Andy also mentioned it on a programme himself, and as what we know, it was due to his personal issues. But the truth is, recalling the incident in 2001, it was not just solely a personal uncontrollable case.

Andy’s Activities on Hiatus

[Author’s NOTE: Although I do not know how much this incident has impact on Shinhwa, this could fully represent how they realised the actual relationship between the group and the company. And this is also the incident which made Shinhwa fans lost trust towards the company, and that it is not totally irrelevant to the future conflicts. Below is according to my recall of the situation and rumour during that time+ what was reported on media+ Andy’s future explanation.]

One day, KKFS (Korea Kent Foreign School) was rumoured to have students from high status families getting into university with no qualification. And in this school there were two popular idols. They are S.E.S’s Shoo (Yoo Sooyoung) and Shinhwa’s Andy (Lee Sunho). (S.E.S's Eugene was a graduate from this school)

Reporters who were starving for news did not miss this chance. News on TV and newspaper all brought the two names out. At first, it was “an idol member”, and then it became “S.E.S’s Miss Y and Shinhwa’s Mr L”. Later, they even reported with their real identities. People who heard about the university entrance scandal began to judge and blame them. Of course, this also happened in the fandom.

(For reference, I was only 4th grade at that time, just began liking Shinhwa, but still am able to remember this shows how big impact it brought…)

About this incident, if we start from the conclusion, the school which had an university entrance scandal, happened to have a foreigner student Andy (with foreign residence). Andy was 12th grade at that time, applied and got accepted for Hankuk University of Foreign Studies on English. Shoo also was accepted in university already.

However when the news broke, the spotlight of the media went onto “idol’s improper university entrance scandal” (in reality they just happened to be a student there) instead of the “high status family scandal”. Whereas the universities which were at the centre of the scandal, used “not qualified” as an excuse to cancel KENT students’ accepted university application. Of course, from the the surface their reason made sense. KENT was not a proper high school course, hence they were not qualified for university application from the start.

(I need to point out that, not only Andy and Shoo, whether all Kent students did got blamed due to “not qualified”. For reference, all foreigner high schools are recognised as proper high school course now. But it was only not recognised during that time.)

Therefore the high school education was not recognised, concluding with a Junior high graduate, cancelled university entrance.

ENDING LIKE THIS?? Then it would be great….

Due to the KKFS incident, a lot obstacles were created to Andy.

1. As Andy’s education was not recognised, Andy’s past 3 years studying at KKFS as a student was rejected. This created a problem to Andy’s reason to stay in Korea. Hence before his identity was made clear, the business activity (=as a singer) became impossible.

2. Male adult who is not a student, by principle is required to receive military health check, and before that travelling is forbidden.

Therefore, until Andy got the military health check, he was forbidden to leave the country. It would be great ending like this, receive the military health check and solve the legal problems. But to make thing worse, Andy’s “personal issue" broke out. Andy’s mother in US suddenly went really ill.

For reference, Andy was born in a single parent family, without any male parent, it means that he is responsible to act as the father’s role. Andy as his mother’s guarantor was really urgent to travel back to US, but due to what happened in Korea, until the travel ban is removed, he could only wait.

During such process, Andy even made a lawsuit about the university application was inappropriately cancelled. Some may misunderstood his action, but he did this not because of to escape from the military check, but instead if he could resume the “student” identity then the travel ban would be removed and he could rush back to US. But at last it did not succeed.

Also, rumours began to spread everywhere. From Andy leaving out of the dorm, to become missing, temporary leaving the group, withdrawal from the group, and even rumour on suicide. (About attempt of suicide, at that time the company explained it was because of taking excessive cold pills leading to gastric spasm, and was sent to the emergency. I personally think such issue is still questionable, but it is not a significant point here, so I will end this here.)

2001.05.10 Voice Message from Andy

Afterall, Andy successfully received the military check and due to not qualified education (finally as Junior high graduate), and was decided as “reserved placement” in military, he left all rumours behind and quietly left for US.

2001.05.10 [NEWS] Andy’s Military Position

After few months, Shinhwa came back with their 4th Album.

Without Andy, as 5.

What ironic is, Shinhwa with one member less, the album received well results, it’s actually really popular among the public. People started to give them more recognition for trying the un-idol-like concepts.

Some even said that ‘Hey Come On’ is the next level in music. And ‘Wild Eyes’ as the continuing song, received even greater reaction than the title song.

No matter if it is music, variety or the media reflected that Shinhwa could be perfect as a 5 members group. But this did not make people satisfy because of the subtle atmosphere. Some fans appeared to not care but feeling lost, and some fans even accepted that Andy is already not a member. Shinhwa seems to realise that before the return of Andy, they have the responsibility to stay in their position and try to make Shinhwa better.

However looking at Shinhwa promoting without him, Andy thought that he no longer had a position in Shinhwa.

Due to Andy’s inability to support the hospital fees (US hospital fees are different to Korea’s ones), he brought his mother back to Korea after few months. Looking at Shinhwa striving forth, began to feel the distance in between, or began to feel the guilt that may block Shinhwa’s development. He did not go back to the dorm but instead hid in a college building somewhere in Seoul.

Not getting a haircut, not shaving, shower with cold water, only able to sleep with soju and aspirin.

After that, as what we all know, Andy returned back to Shinhwa.

After Shinhwa’s 4th Album promotion, Shinhwa Changjo’s 5th Fan Meeting was held. It was the biggest event among all fan meetings held, and the venue was Jamsil Main Stadium. According to Andy, that day Lee Sooman contacted him and told him to join the fan meeting. Andy at the waiting room heard the fans shouted ‘Lee Sunho’ even without him on stage, teared up. To hide the weeping eyes, he borrowed a pair of sunglasses, and stood in front of the fans after a year.

youtube

When the fan meeting was coming to an end, Andy appeared at the last encore stage, greeted everyone shyly.

Shinhwa, once again returned as six.

However, even just naming this “after experiencing hardship, Andy returned to Shinhwa”, the impact this incident brought is definitely visible.

The point is, the person who called Andy to join the fan meeting is Lee Sooman, from this aspect both Andy and the fans were thankful for.

But the question is, this company called SM, left Andy out during their 4th Album promotion, appears to be doing a kind of experiment.

When Andy is not in Korea, leaving him out, released a new album. Using the finished recording, and re-record it as 5 members, and making it into an album with 5 members. [-> Do anyone know where this is from?]

Idol groups were normally with 5 people, even with 5 voices, they were flawless no matter if it’s album or variety, the appearance of the 5 members were perfect.

The members did not mention Andy as much, called Junjin as the ‘maknae’ and called Shinhwa as ‘5’.

From all these actions during the promotion, could SM be trying this out to make Shinhwa as a 5 members group? People already made such assumption.

Also, about Andy’s rumour, fans complained that SM did not handle it well. In reality, Shinhwa’s fanchant during 4th Album promotion, determined to add ‘Lee Sunho’, showing how much they anticipate Andy’s return.

But about Andy’s news or his future decision, SM did not voice out any opinion. When Andy was bothered by rumours before the military check, and the situation was so bad that he even went to the emergency, SM did not state clearly that Andy was not related to the university entrance scandal, and did not show a strong will to solve Andy’s problems.

2001.04.23 A Letter to SHCJ on Andy’s Rumour

At least this is what fans’ thought. (If SM actively solved the problems, the fandom won’t split). At such situation, SM still promoted 5 members Shinhwa, created fans’ further distrust towards the company.

Of course, with Andy’s return, the saying of “5 members Shinhwa” became solely a rumour, or you can call it SM’s failed tactic. Even if the rumour is true, that SM tried to take Andy away and make Shinhwa as a 5 members group, then this project was not only an experimental failure, but it brought unexpected negative impact to SM.

Using this incident as an example, not only Andy, SM can ignore their personal will and change the members of Shinhwa at any time.

Shinhwa could no longer be 6 at any time, even the group’s survival is uncertain, this is what the members clearly realised.

Back to 2003.

Even though it was revealed after a long time, H.O.T and S.E.S disbandment was mainly due to contract renewal. H.O.T’s situation was due to members’ individual contract renewal, conflicts and misunderstanding grew, leading to disbandment. S.E.S’s situation was SM tried for individual contract renewal, but due to contract problems, conflicts grew, and finally announced disband while at the top position.

Same as the two previous groups, before contract renewal, the company began to secretly seek individual members. The first person who got suggested for contract renewal was Lee Minwoo and Shin Hyesung. Lee Minwoo since debut was in charge of choreography, lyrics and song writing, these various areas, showing a strong individual talent. Shin Hyesung is Shinhwa’s main vocal, from the collaboration with Lee Jihoon, it showed that he is strong enough to become a solo vocal. In another words, SM saw their ability to step out of the ‘idol’ limitation and became a ‘musician’, hence chose them for another contract.

However, witnessing other groups’ unwilling disbandment, continued promotion while treating one member as non-exist, Shinhwa objected the company’s action, and decided to betray (?) SM as 6, making such significant decision.

End of Chapter 1. About SM Entertainment Next: Chapter 2. About Good Entertainment

#shinhwa #all about shinhwa company #haven't started chp 2 yet...

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