#tv serial gossip

[ik-g]

Mary And George

[graveyardcuddles]

The thing I love most about Astarion honestly is the fact that he IS so deeply weird. Like I joke about not understanding why people wouldn't be attracted to him, but in all seriousness, I do totally get it. He IS deeply bizarre and even just off-putting at times. And that's before he tries to drink your blood in your sleep. And I can relate to that to an extent (the being weird part).

I remember so many times growing up struggling with social cues and just being the "weird kid" because I would randomly start talking about something like the process of mummification in extreme detail because I was going through my ancient egypt obsession era. Or I would randomly bring up topics like jack the ripper or the borgias because I saw some sensationalized cable tv documentary about them that I definitely wasn't old enough to have watched.

I know it's silly but it's genuinely one of the things I find most endearing and "real" about him. How utterly gleeful he gets talking about finding things like clown body parts or canopic jars with mummy organs in them. Would honestly just love to just sit with him and let him talk my ear off all day long about serial killers and necromancy and gossip about faerun's equivalent of the habsburgs and weird vampire stuff all day long.

[samwinchestersno1fan]

Home (00:09)- Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

cw: fem!reader, smut, fluff, a little angst, exes to lovers (kind of), vaginal fingering, p in v sex, couch sex, kinda (really) awkward (sorry), no protection (wrap it before you tap it pls), reader is shorter than sam, not proof read, cross posted on ao3, 18+

word count: 2.3k+

---

You were sitting on the old, worn out couch in your apartment, reading some shitty lifestyle magazine with a half empty glass of wine on the coffee table and some trashy tv show on the tv for background noise. It was dark outside, the lighting in the apartment was warm and dim. Your cat was sleeping on the window ledge, the room was quiet except for the tv. You sighed as you turned the page of the magazine, stupid celebrity gossip, makeup ads, diet plans, what's in fashion for autumn. The same as the last issue except it was summer fashion. But you were bored so you kept reading. 

But you were pulled out of your trance when you heard a knock on the door. 

Someone was at the door? This late at night? It creeped you out a little. Who would be knocking on your door at this time?

You sighed and dropped the magazine on the coffee table, slowly walking towards the door, a little weary of who it could be. Serial killer? Probably not.

Hopefully not.

You opened the door, you forgot to lock it earlier. Wow. 

You looked up.

Oh God.

It was Sam. Sam Winchester. Your ex boyfriend. 

You hadn’t seen him in a long time. You broke up not long after his brother came along. Something to do with his dad. He didn’t go into detail. You didn’t take it well. Obviously, you loved him. You still maybe loved him. You wouldn’t admit that though. You tried to date other guys but it just never worked out. They weren’t him. 

But there he was. Standing right in front of you. Wow. 

He had left some stuff at your apartment. You lived together before the break up. He left some shirts, a hoodie, CDs, books, and his cologne. You kept hold of it all, embarrassingly. You didn’t want to throw it all out. You felt a little embarrassed and shameful about the fact that you just couldn’t move on. 

You looked up at him, he hadn’t changed much. Neither had you though. You just stared at him for a few seconds. Almost mesmerised. 

“Sam…” Your voice was quiet, a little weak. You didn’t really know what to say, but the tension between you was palpable. There were a lot of unresolved feelings. A lot of things you wanted to say and do. You wanted to punch him really hard but you also wanted to kiss him. Maybe both. Who shows up at their exes place randomly this late at night? 

“I… wanted to see you.”

You just stared up at him, a little dumbfounded. Did you want to let him in? Get mad at him? Kiss him? You couldn’t exactly think straight and it was really, really annoying you. Why couldn’t you just say something?

The tension was thick. You wanted to make a move. He wanted to make a move. Why did he have to show up? 

You were doing fine. 

You weren’t but you like to tell yourself that. 

You finally managed to say something.

“Why do you want to see me?”  You spoke without thinking, your tone was blunt and cold. You mentally beat yourself up for that. Way too standoffish and a bit too hostile. Not how you wanted this interaction to go. Wow. 

“I missed you.” Oh.

He missed you. After all this time he still missed you. Of course, you missed him too. It’s not like you broke up because you didn’t love each other. He just didn’t want you involved in all the shit that was going on in his life. You didn’t think he would break things off because of it though. But it was nice to know he still missed you… and maybe still wanted you. 

“Really?” You asked. You looked a little bewildered. But who wouldn’t? 

He nodded.

“Yeah.” His voice was quiet.

Okay. What were you supposed to do now? Invite him in? Yeah. Probably. 

“Do you, uh, wanna come in?” Wow. You sounded really awkward. Just what you wanted. Good job. 

He stared at you for a few seconds before answering.

“Uh, yeah, sure…” 

There was so much unresolved tension, it was eating away at you both. You moved to the side to let him in, his arm brushed yours. Oh God. It sent a shiver down your spine. It was an accident, he barely touched you but it sent sparks through you. 

The apartment was small, he stood next to the couch, kind of awkwardly. As if he’d never been there. But he used to live there. And it wasn’t awkward like this. Obviously. 

You walked over to Sam. You stood in front of him, you looked up into his eyes. He stared back. The Tension was killing you. Just do something. Kiss him. Punch him. Strangle him. Something.

“I really, really missed you. I’m sorry.” He had a look of regret on his face, it made you a little hopeful. Maybe, just maybe it could work out. 

“Do… Do you still want to… like… be with me?” That sounded really awkward and somewhat desperate. Wow. You had a hopeful look in your eyes. He had regret in his. 

He stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“Yeah…” 

Right. Of course he did. But what now? Do you make a move?

Yeah.

You hesitantly reached out a little to hold his hands. He almost instantly reciprocated. He pulled you in closer. This is what you wanted. But you were almost too stunned to really do anything. 

“You don’t mind if I… Uh…”

“Kiss me?” You said that maybe a little too quickly. You sounded desperate, which wasn’t how you wanted to sound but it came out that way anyway.  Probably because you actually were at this point. 

“Yeah.” He said, his voice was quiet and soft, almost a whisper. 

You could feel your face heat up when he said that. You moved a little closer, your bodies were touching now, he leaned down, you stood on your toes, your lips finally met. The kiss was soft and sweet. It didn’t last long. You missed this. It was exactly what you wanted. 

You both stared into each other's eyes before leaning in for another kiss, this time more passionate and deeper. Your hands let go of his hands, wrapping around his neck. Your bodies were pressed together, his arms moved around your waist. 

You pulled away to catch your breath, you let go of him. He let go of you. You took his hand and led him to the couch, he complied without a word. 

He was basically on top of you, your back was against the corner of the couch, he kissed you again, with the same passion as before. Your hands gripped his shoulders, one of his hands moved down to your hip. 

Sam started to trail kisses along your jawline, down to your neck. He began to bite and suck on your neck, you let out a blissful sigh, tilting your head back a little to give him more access. He bit down harder where your neck met your shoulder, you gasped softly, your grip on his shoulders tightened, your eyes closed. 

His hand slid down further, to the hem of the oversized shirt you were wearing. If you knew he was coming over you wouldn't have been wearing an old oversized shirt with nothing but your panties underneath but he didn’t care about that. He didn’t need you to be all dressed up for him. 

His fingers lightly grazed your inner thigh, right up to your panties. His fingers pressed against your heat. Your panties were soaked already, thanks to Sam, of course. You gasped again at the feeling. You hadn’t felt like this in a long time now. None of the other guys you’d been with could get you this worked up as easily as Sam could. None of them were as good as Sam. 

His long fingers rubbed your clit through the wet fabric, you moaned quietly. You tried not to be loud, the walls were thin. You both learned that pretty quickly when you first moved in. 

As good as it felt, it wasn’t enough, you wanted more. 

His fingers moved to the waistband of your panties. His movement stopped.

“Sam…” Your tone was whiny, you really, really wanted him.

He looked at you for a few seconds, like he was mesmerised by you. Then he suddenly spoke.

“You look really pretty.” 

You could feel your face heating up again.

“Thanks…” You mumbled, your voice was quiet, but you managed to keep eye contact with him. 

“You want this… right?” 

Obviously. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

He kept eye contact with you, your face felt hot.

He leaned in to kiss you again, his fingers slipped under the waistband of your panties. Your moan was muffled by the kiss. Two of his long fingers traced up and down your folds, Sam could feel how wet you were. And it was all for him. He continued to kiss you, his thumb rubbed your clit. It felt so good. It felt so good to have him back with you, kissing you, touching you like this. You hadn’t felt like that in a long time. It was just like before. You didn’t want this to end. 

He continued to kiss you, it was passionate but not hard or messy. It was perfect. One of his fingers dipped between your folds, into you. Another small noise you made was muffled by the kiss, after a moment, he dipped another finger in. Your eyes were closed, one of your hands moved up to the side of his face, holding him there. Making sure he wouldn’t disappear. Or leave again. 

Sam's fingers curled inside you, your back arched, it felt so good.

 So good.

He kept going, his thumb was still circling your clit, his fingers pumping inside you. He pulled away from the kiss to look at you. You were so close. You could feel that tight pressure and it was going to snap. 

And then it did. 

You threw your head back on the arm of the couch, your eyes were closed. You moaned, louder than before. Your breathing was heavy. He couldn’t stop staring at you. 

You finally caught your breath again, you looked into his eyes.

You didn’t want to sound completely desperate but you couldn’t help it.

“I need you, Sam…” Not want. Need. God, that sounded desperate and you almost hated yourself for it but you couldn’t help it. 

He nodded. Your hands moved to his shirt, your fingers began to unbutton it. He let you. When you were finished he pulled his shirt off, discarding it on the floor next to the couch. You ran your hands down his toned torso, all the way down to his belt. You could see just how much he wanted you. He was so hard. And it was because of you. 

You looked up at him again, he nodded slightly, you could see in his eyes just how much he needed this. You unbuckled his belt and undid the button on his jeans. Your hand went underneath the denim and you palmed him through his boxers. His breathing got heavier and he made a few quiet noises before grabbing your wrist and pulling your hand away.

You were confused for a moment when he got off the couch, but he quickly began to pull his jeans off. You watched him and removed your shirt, throwing it on the floor so that you were in nothing but your panties. No bra. You stared at him, taking in his toned form. 

He removed his boxers and moved back to the couch, over you again. His hands slid down your waist to your hips, his fingers curled under the waistband of your panties. You lifted your hips so he could pull them off. The apartment was cold, but it felt almost overwhelmingly warm at that moment, in the best way possible. Sam looked at you again, his pretty eyes staring right into yours. You knew what he wanted, you wanted it too. You nodded, your legs wrapped around his hips. 

He slowly entered you, he always started off slow. Once he had bottomed out he stayed still for a few moments until you asked him to move. 

He started off with slow thrusts, you gasped at the feeling. It was so good. He remembered exactly how you liked it. 

He started to speed up after a short while, your arms wrapped around him, you buried your face between his neck and his shoulder. Your breathing got heavier, your moans were muffled and quiet. He groaned quietly, keeping a steady pace as he thrusted into you. You shut your eyes, all you could think about was him. How amazing this felt. How you desperately wanted things to go back to how they were before. You missed him. 

He sped up a little more, one of his hands moved down to your clit, his fingers circling it. Your nails were digging into his back, your moans and whines got louder. You were close again. He knew that. 

Sam kept going at that pace, his fingers continued to circle your clit. You could feel that familiar pressure inside you again, you were close to a release. He was too. He let out a quiet, breathy moan. And it sounded so amazing knowing it was because of you. 

You finally felt that pressure inside you snap again, you moaned again, louder but it was still muffled because your face was buried between his neck and his shoulder. Your legs tightened around him, your nails were still digging into his back. His thrusts became less steady, he was close. 

“Come inside… please…” 

That’s all it took, your soft, quiet voice asking him to come inside you. You were starting to feel overstimulated, it was almost painful but in the most blissful way possible. 

He stayed inside you, your head fell back to the arm of the couch, looking up at him with hazy eyes. He leaned down to kiss you again, it was soft and gentle. 

It felt amazing to have him back here with you, in your apartment. 

You never wanted the moment to end.

[jac-jay]

...

You're all such pieces of shit, I swear. THERE IS AN OPEN POLICE INVESTIGATION, SINCE 2022. If you engaged with the words of the victims or did ANY basic research, you'd know this. Instead, you're a 41 year old on tumblr, defending a serial rapist and groomer and calling his victims gossipers. All so you can keep watching a goddamn TV series guilt-free. Fuck you, you absolute fucking loser.

[madwomansapologist]

𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 — twenty, she/them prns, brasileira, serial theme-changer, majoring in journalism, nanami's wife, virgo sun, enfp.

hello, lovelies! i'm bella, your lowkey emotional writer. i have a library blog (@mwalibrary) and one to rec other artists (@mwashelf). i speak portuguese, english, spanish and french, so feel free to interact in any of those languages!

bella approves [+1] etymology study, fantasy books, bread with honey and butter, my dog, history, puzzles, my brother, taking naps, melon, gossip.

bella disapproves [-1] capitalism, discussions, medical appointments, ants, mayonnaise salad, rude coworkers, my brother, sleeping with the fan on.

⟡ ݁₊ . ao3 ⟡ ݁₊ . pinterest ⟡ ݁₊ . twitter ⟡ ݁₊ . spotify

music... slipknot, sabrina carpenter, jessie ware, poppy, red velvet, megan thee stalion, bad omens, ethel cain, the crane wives, fiona apple, lana del rey, taylor swift, the amazing devil, gal costa, the smiths, jeff buckley, sunmi, bts, shakira, carly rae jepsen, jão, ricky montgomery, she wants revenge, tv girl, kendrick lamar, charli xcx.

animes... gokushufudou, dungeon meshi, death note, one piece, frieren journey's end, kimetsu no yaiba, jujutsu kaisen, spy x family, haikyuu, attack on titan.

books... game of thrones by george r. r. martin, a series of unfortunate events by lemony snicket, the fellowship of the ring by j. r. r. tolkien, pride and prejudice by jane austen, wicked by gregory maguire, good omens by terry pratchett and neil gaiman, that's how you lose the time war by amal el--mohtar and max gladstone.

games... baldur's gate 3, hades, obey me, genshin impact.

they're literally me fr fr... anya forger, bokuto kotaro, tanjiro kamado, annie edson, shinobu kocho.

selfship... kento's dear, mitsuri and obanai's sweet thing, crocodile's honey.

[placeinthisworld]

just curious what you mean about your idol becoming what she used to sing about? what do you think has changed? no hate just genuinely curious

i feel like over the years her music has become more jaded, less personable more targeted. she used to sing about her experiences and feelings more generally and therefore held more interest bc of the relatability aspect of her songs. like for all the ogs which i may still listen to she had so much intent in the songwriting. like, as a teenager i never went through a breakup (still haven’t?) so i could never relate to her breakup songs in a traditional way- but the way she would write about her feelings would still feel relatable to me enough to help me through different situations.

i feel like now she writes to complete and album. she knows she can bullshit something quick is she’s motivated enough. it feels like midnights was a first draft- like it was never edited and perfected it was just written, recorded and produced. done.

i also feel like her fanbase has a lot to do with it. i think when folklore was released, she had disappeared from the spotlight long enough for the general public to forget why they were so against her to begin with. i think taylor made her dating life a main highlight in her career (whether that was on purpose is another debate), so when she got with joe and went private for a bit the general public weren’t being plastered w ts/ bf gossip and sightings to annoy them and remind them of her “serial dater” reputation. and when folklore came out it was purely about the album and not the relationship that influenced the album bc it was “fictional,” and people needed something fun to transfix on when the world was unpredictable and scary bc of covid- which is why everyone and their mom became a swiftie overnight. nobody speculated about what song was about who (i mean swifties did ofc but it wasn’t a world wide thing- it was just rocking out to august). the internet definitely shifted during this time and it feels like everyone became chronically online.

long story short: i feel like taylor is using her songwriter and platform as a weapon. she knows her fans are weirdly cult like and notoriously known for being bullies on the internet, and that they’ll buy and believe anything she says. i think everyone will be expecting a folklore- likeness to ttpd but i think it’ll be a cheap way of blowing over her relationship with joe and changing the narrative for rep tv. overall it just feels like all of her songwriter is so personal to her life and her relationships it’s not relatable anymore, her words don’t have the impact they once did. everything feels tailored to her life specifically and it’s more of a show for swifties to make pick up easter eggs for clout on the internet. like she knows what she’s doing with ttpd, we all know.

it’s evident in the way she markets herself, it’s evident in the lack of marketing of her albums. she knows her fans will promote it for her. no lead single, no real description of the album or anything. hundreds of dollars of encouraged preorders for something you don’t even know if you’ll like until you buy it. fucked with umg to try to return it if you don’t. fomo if you missed out on an “exclusive” or “limited” item.

also just the whole miss americana thing she’s ignoring. we all heard her. she said she wanted to be on the right side of history. yet here she is politically silent as always- besides that one time in 2020 when she coincidentally had something to release….

(also unrelated….but like the taylor overexposure is real. i love that she’s interested in doing different things but i wish she would prioritize quality over quantity. it feels like she’s rushing through everything to get to the next one. i just wish she would care more about her art than breaking records and being #1/ talked about constantly. it just feels very….narcissistic? like girlie you’re a billionaire and youre still in your early thirties what are you trying to do??? be the first person to sing on the moon like??? when is it Enough for her?)

[turtlesocksv2]

Liveblogging DFF Ep 2

It's time for Dead Friend Forever episode 2!

Ok I have to say this but it cracks me up every time i watch a Thai show and we get that little disclaimer at the start saying "we do not condone any characters/jobs/actions in this show it is for entertainment only" like what kind of 2003 FF.Net "Please don't sue me i am poor and only playing with these characters like dolls" ass thing to see in front of Mafia Dramas (Kinnporsche), Serial Killer hijinks (Dead Friend Forever) and fucking bittersweet adult midlife crisis vibes (Moonlight Chicken).

Top is absolutely losing it, and they need to leave poor Fluke alone. He is trying his best! What more do you expect from him?!

Oh, Tee is the first to break off from the group. RIP Tee, we'll see how that works out for you.

The mask the killer wears really is very freaky. well done, props department.

Phi the only one awake. I see you. I support you in your killings.

Oh I really thought Top was donefor there. Phi taking control of the group is so interesting. The way he leads everyone down what investigation paths...

Alright just what did you guys do to Non last time??? thank god the 3 newbies to the group are having a little sidebar asking that question. Clearly whatever it was was awful for the group to jump immediately to Non is Dead and his Ghost is Cursing Us and He Wants Us Dead Too for What We Did. But also, i think this rules out All Three Newbies working together to I Know What You Did Last Summer the group, otherwise this scene would make no sense. We'd have another Gossip Girl Dan situation where actions taken when they're alone don't add up to the reveal. So at least 1 of the newbies is not involved.

LOL at Tan trying to get Fluke to spill what the core group knows. If i was Fluke I'd be feeling very very threatened right now. "You think you're going to be next. I'm worried about you." and now Jin is being mean to Fluke too! for the love of god, Fluke is trying! just because he wants to be a doctor doesn't mean he can perform surgery in a cabin in the woods! Leave him alone!

"a good-mouthed and good-hearted man like you doesn't need to remind me" yessss. kill him.

lmao Por has old fucking floppy disks. are these people old enough to have used a floppy disk in their lives. but i know i've got old floppies around somewhere so it makes sense there'd be some at a like summer vacation house that gets used rarely. but also, did i miss that Por hid the footage last episode? because otherwise wouldn't the harddrive that had the footage still be in the room they were all in when Phi hooked it up to the TV?

Was that a mystery medicine bottle in the closet? 👀👀 yeah i'm gonna need someone who can read Thai to to screenshot and tell us what that says.

Oh i really don't need the squelching noises from Fluke tending to Por's wound, please.

Ok, that Por jumpscare with the balcony door got me. and How the fuck does Por have the strength to strangle someone when he's been bleeding out all night?! Obviously a hallucination or something but what caused the hallucination?!

Thank you, White, for bringing back up that they are in the Cult Sacrifice Woods and this might be a Cult Killer or have to do with the cult. a very important thing to remember.

I would absolutely be looking at that footage the second Tee and Top turned their backs, the fuck. No you don't get to act that sus about what happened three years ago and play it off! Phi fighting the fight to keep that footage intact and eventually seen. Tan trying to gently break the idea that the group was bullying Non to White.

oh SHIT the way Uncle Deng got fucking GOT by that wire i screamed! i knew something was going to go down because obviously they couldn't escape the valley mansion in episode 2 but jesus. fucking. christ.

Tee finally remembering he has a boyfriend that he abandoned to the serial killer lmao. Tee and Top keep almost getting away and then going back. they are being herded like cattle. but also, it's kind of sus.

No PhiJin and barely any TeeWhite stuff this episode, which makes sense in that they are busy they don't have time to fuck, but i do find it interesting that PhiJin seem to be on the same page the episode with like no relationship tension between them just situational worry considering Jin was literally biting Phi's dick last episode. Putting aside grudges to stay alive: i'm proud.

anyway that was a really good episode! Tee and Top are the worst. Fluke needs to get the fuck out of this toxic friend group. White needs to dump Tee and get the fuck out of this toxic friend group. Phi and Tan can kill whoever they want i support it. ❤️

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 31 – An Unauthorized Fan Treatise by Lauren James

This was a book (or, web fiction piece. Web serial? I’m not actually sure how it was initially released) that I read basically on a lark after getting curious seeing a few people talk about it on tumblr. So, score one for viral marketing and the convenience of reading free webfiction, I suppose – I was up until half past three in the morning barrelling through it all in one sitting. Which is all just incredibly appropriate for this story in particular.

So, the story’s a thriller/murder mystery, but specifically one about the actors on a trashy CW-style hot-young-adults-playing-supernatural-creatures-having-teen-drama style tv show, as told in the form of a sprawling series of essay-length posts by a fan devoted to proving that the two male leads are fucking in real life but forced to hide their live by the homophobic network. Things get more tangled from there.

So, as I said, very appropriate that I learned about this on tumblr. Basically everything about it is about online fan culture – there’s tens of thousands of words devoted to recounting livejournal sockpuppet drama, every chapter ends with a ‘comment section’ that’s mostly a Greek chorus but occasionally relevant to the plot, and almost literally every single aspect of the story and framing are a reference or pastiche to some famous online clusterfuck or other of the kind you’ve probably watched far-too-long video essay retrospectives of on youtube. Or I have, anyway (but then again, ninety percent of the references were a bit before my time anyway, so the cultural education was pretty crucial to me understanding what this was going for at all).

And, given all that, I ultimately found this pretty disappointing? It was absolutely readable, and enjoyable in the moment, but the metatextual commentary element meant the thriller plot at the heart of it just ended up seeming like, well, cheap soap opera. Beyond that, the framing device just seems like one giant missed opportunity, the commentary on fandom culture was in the end pretty shallow, and the shocking twist in the epilogue was, I think, just a mistake.

So okay, lets justify all of that in order.

When I say the plot didn’t really hold together for me, that might be more the fault of the word-of-mouth marketing that pointed me towards the story more than any promises the text itself makes, honestly. But I went in expecting a story about fan obsession and hallucination, projection and parasocial relationships, and all that. And downstream of that, I was expecting something a bit grounded? And the story just wasn’t either of those things; to begin with, the two celebrities the ‘fan treatise’ is about really are secretly dating and being forced to hide it, which seemed like kind of inexplicable decision to me as I read it. It’s not just that, either. Like to be clear this story absolutely has an unreliable narrator, but for a story ostensibly about fan obsession, it seems a bit odd for, lik, there to be an extended digression about how a famous actor was totally of an asshole in a livejournal fanfic community a decade previously, and then have that be revealed to be totally and unambiguously correct.

It’s less of an issue, but as I said the actual murders and intrigues at the core of the story are kind of just..ridiculous? Which I honestly normally wouldn’t mind, but- wen your story spends so much time talking about trashy supernatural tv shows and fanfic, it becomes kind of important that the ground-level narrative seem real by comparison, you know? And this had altogether too much talk of ‘the dark web’ for that.

I’m very possibly going to be putting my foot in my mouth hear (most of the specific fan cultures and pieces of drama being referenced, I only really know second hand through various salacious youtube gossip rags), but for all that the entire story’s utterly preoccupied with, in the end I found the commentary on fan culture really..shallow? Sure, the entire premise is having a laugh at larry stylinson-style RPF shipping conspiracies, the entire livejournal plot is a pastiche of the MsScribe drama, there are plenty of jokes about how m/m shippers literally forgetting about te female lead in te show she headlines, etc, etc. And they’re, largely, well-done references and jokes! Not really complaining about that.

But I’m kind of left feeling like there’s nothing really underneath it all. Which- if James had sat down a story with the explicit purpose of Saying Something About Fandom, it would almost certainly have been terrible. But between the murder plot and the revelations of Gottie’s byzantine revenge scheme (which honestly I’m consciously choosing not to think about too hard lest this just turn into cinemasins-for-books), in the end all the fandom stuff almost felt like window dressing? Elaborate, detailed, and impressive window-dressing, to be sure, but as the story went on and the plot became more clearly thriller-ish, increasingly revealed to be surface level and ornamental.

Speaking of ‘surface level’: the web serial medium and use of links here was such an incredible missed opportunity. You have an utterly unreliable narrator with a secret agenda and a grudge writing tens of thousands of words of livejournal essays about celebrities, and then you go to the effort of making actual accounts on twitter/insta/whatever to leave real links to when you cite them, and then you have her actually faithfully relate what the cited paged say? What a waste! This would have been so much better if it was 50% more postmodern and up its own ass about playing with the format. And doing so would even let you have that (incredibly obvious on one level, entirely out of nowhere and dramatically dead when it’s dropped as the literal last word of the story) reveal in the epilogue actually work!

Anyway, this all sounds incredible negative. Which isn’t entirely inaccurate, honestly, but I should reiterate that I googled this out of idle curiosity on a Friday evening and only realized it was 3am when I finished it. The negativity is more because this seemed so close to being amazing than because it was anything heinous.

[pricesprincess]

₊˚ෆ 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒

₊˚ෆ 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒: minx or any sweet names such as baby, sweetie, sweetheart, sweetpea, honey, which I do call others please let me know if you feel uncomfy with it!

₊˚ෆ 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑠: she/her

₊˚ෆ 𝑒𝑡𝑐: i am very strange and hard to talk too as i never know what to say and i'm just weird but i am very sweet and funny! happy married! serial post deleter, horror/thriller movie fanatic, professional yapper.

₊˚ෆ 𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑠/𝑜'𝑠: toji, john, shiu, simon, kyle, johnny, katsuki, draken, enji.

₊˚ෆ 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑠: gaming, anime, john price, makeup, music, iced coffee, toji fushiguro, writing, pink, reading, simon riley, car rides, snow, roleplaying on discord, cold weather, kyle garrick, autumn, drawing, painting, coloring, halloween, soap, sabrina carpenter, shiu kong, when men are men, katsuki bakugo, food.

₊˚ෆ 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑠: liars, hot weather, hot coffee, bad hair days, wet socks, people who don't like someone based on something they can't change in less than ten seconds or at all, people who text and drive, car problems, antis and haters.

₊˚ෆ 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔: dandadan, gossip girl, horror movies, whatever else is on tv, my facebook & tik tok feed.

₊˚ෆ 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔: dandadan, bride by ali hazelwood, my #🔖tbr (i need more), my tumblr & facebook & tik tok feed.

₊˚ෆ 𝑠𝑜𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙𝑠: ao3 | twitter which is locked down

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

ok so I have watched Riverdale and I have Thoughts about the bones of a gossip girl Riverdale AU but not necessarily about the plot. (GG was one of the first things to premiere after the rebrand from the WB (beat only by a show that lasted 8 episodes) and Riverdale is the last thing to go before it becomes a more "adult oriented" channel so it's fascinating to compare the 2)

Riverdale has a reputation for being "oh crazy weird show!!" (earned) but like... despite the escalating drama, the characters aren't really allowed to grow or change (or be fleshed out at all) they stay more or less the same one dimensional stereotypes for seasons 1-6 (season 7 is an alternate timeline it's a whole thing.) like I genuinely cannot place the plot of each season in order bc the characters aren't allowed to be affected by their experiences

(which is also exemplified by having them stay in high school forever, as opposed to the GG route of having them ignore their educations and pretend to be adults)

(I could go on a tangent here about how TV has gotten more serialized as technology develops. like early TV you watched when you could and things went into syndication so you had to be able to watch any episode out of context. but with streaming everything is binged. so stories can take multiple episodes and characters can change)

but GG and Riverdale arent streaming shows so the characters stay perpetually stuck in these cycles of Big Stories that Take Time but characters don't grow

we could also talk about narration and the story within the story. bc Riverdale is presented as a book that jughead is writing about his friends and gossip girl is being told to us by Dan (who also ends up writing a book about his friends.) the dark underbelly if Riverdale is the focus of the show vs the UES being more and more idealized as the show goes on

BUT!! I do also have plot thoughts!!!!

starting with the obvious. Riverdale stole the Derena/Rufly/Scott Rosson thing! but they took it a step further by having both couples dating, living in the same house, and having the love child move in! (then they revealed the guy who moved in wasn't their son at all but an imposter (and a serial killer! don't worry he marries the real illegitimate son!) Gossip Girl should've done this

Blair would start a cult predicated on her being the reincarnation of Audrey Hepburn. Serena (the most cult susceptible) would be a full fledged believer and a recruiter until she and Blair had that same fight about attention they always do then Serena would team up with recent-cult-escapee Jenny to take her down

Chuck would get involved with Carter Baizen's dog fighting ring for 2 episodes, but stop when he gets yelled at by his mom's ghost while high on psychedelics he got from Nate's drug dealer. a season later Chuck would do a seance and have the ghosts of his parents possess Jenny and Eric and force them to get married in some convoluted scheme to tax insurance fraud. they would stay possessed until Jonathan (upset Eric dumped him over text) showed up at the penthouse and was like "this is clearly not jenny and Eric" but nobody believes him so he has to exorcise them himself with a song (Riverdale would stop episodes for 3 minutes at a time so characters could sing, so be glad this song moves the plot forward)

Vanessa, while making a documentary, stumbles upon a society of mole men who hold her hostage bc she knows their secret. they let her send Dan a letter and she uses a secret code they made as kids to tell him where she is. he goes to rescue her but in the time it took she became queen of the mole people and now needs to be convinced to come home (again through song)

Nate is descended from serial killer HH Holmes. he Googles if that can be genetic and that's how we learn about the serial killer gene. he's relieved he doesn't have it but he makes all his friends do the DNA test and falls into a guilt spiral when it turns out that Serena does (she doesn't really care)

Dan, doing research for his book, finds out Lily had a girlfriend in highschool that she lost touch with, and reaches out to her. said girlfriend initially refuses to appear but changes her mind and arrives the night before the rufly wedding and tells drunkenly Nate the story of the body she and Lily hid one night. Nate (in the middle of his guilt spiral) tells Serena this story in an effort to get her to see the the effects of the serial killer gene

Rufus spends the entire show making waffles and getting divorced

This is my favourite thing in the world. This deserves to be written and filmed. Mwah!! chef's kiss. THANK YOUUU

[esotericconsultingdetective]

my forever fixations (changes will be added.)

sitcoms (b99, modern family, bbt, himym, the office, friends, HOUSE MD)

benedict cucumberpatch and martin freeman (sherlock bbc, lord of the rings, the hobbit etc.)

Sherlock and watson variants (House MD, Sherlock)

Patrick Bateman

ghosts&vampires&blood&sadists&gore&darkacademia&haunted places (frankenstein, jekyll and hyde)

english schoolgirls in the not creepy way (wild child, enid blyton boarding school books)

Harry Potter

Dead poet’s society

neil gaiman (coraline)

true crime

granada holmes

LOCKWOOD AND CO. MY BABIES

star trek and star wars in no particular order

spock

taylor swift and old washed up rock bands

pheobe effing bridgers

GRACIE ABRAMS est. 2020 (and the 2021 london show which i attended- my first concert 🥹)

kill her, freak out - samia

therese dreaming and maya hawke

art

raft of medusa

travelling

nerdinators

nerf guns

spy kids

peppa pig and ben and holly and gaston and nanny plum

emma chamberlain's fashion choices

the grisly origins of fairy tales

101 dalmations' original cruella deville.

horrid henry, captain underpants and phineas and ferb

LEGOOOO

evermore and folklore

lore by aaron manke

neurosurgery

fashun

crime podcasts

the history of mad hatters

interesting things to research about

indian royalty history

transylvania

Elizabeth Báthory (the blood countess)

agatha christie and miss marple

puzzle solving but i'm terrible at it (i’m awesome, i’m trying to be humble)

a deepening disgust at mortal fascination with each other.

aliens

d&d

mathematics

Lockwood and Co.

The sisters grimm

Land of stories

middle grade horror and fantasy books

my instagram threads account

tumblr shitposts

tumblr in general

pjo (ex induced)

scarlet and ivy

THE WELLS AND WONG DETECTIVE SOCIETY (robin stevens ily)

young adult dark fantasy without romance (check point 46)

my goodreads account

ada lovelace

franz kafka, virginia woolf.

my spotify playlists (ethel cain i love u)

joan of arc

rosalind franklin

ted ed videos

witch hunts in scotland and salem.

zoroastrian burials

sherlock and watson

my pinterest

amrita shergill

CRISPR

old disney shows

cricket and india's victory in WC in '83

jhansi ki rani

my childhood tv shows

my yt history

video essays

shane and ryan (watcher or buzzfeed unsolved)

chronically online

jude bellingham

Carlos sainz

a dreaded feeling of separation.

Elsa Schiaparelli

the kelly

monaco

f1

aux en provence

ireland

my artemis fowl phase

harry potter

wales

ryan reynolds and john krasinski

adam sandler movies and similar genres of shitty comedy

cobra kai and the karate kid

superheroes

spiderman variants

bucky and the falcon

charlize theron

vintage watches

conde nast traveller

delhi

benedict cucumberpatch

kristy thompson from the bsc

anne with an e

mr brightside

mitski

podcasts

the sixties, thirties and twentys

maggie smith (downtown abbey and loewe campaigns)

jane birkin

youtube fan edits

stranger things

the irregulars and haunting of hill house

gossip girl (fallacies and legacies)

meryl streep (mammia mia and the devil wears prada)

julie andrews (the sound of music, the princess diaries)

vintage movies

youtube short films and billy joel

the prisoner of azkaban

fred and george weasley and kili and fili

gandalf > dumbledore

margaret - ldr and jack antanoff

alicia and janet (the enid blyton cinematic universe)

sharon tate

my halloween blog 'gore'

arch digest house tours

new york because i'm just a girl

BBC SHERLOCK

Star Trek

the matrix

kill bill, fight club, dr. evil, ocean’s 11

The KJO cinematic universe

Nepo babies

Tim Burton

The Addams Family

Science

Biology

Physics

Chemistry

Mathematics x 2

grigori perelman

Nerds

Conspiracy theories

Ethical research

female serial killers

elizabeth bathory

my spotify playlists

billy joel - piano man

youtube edits

saltburn

peppa pig & ben and holly

horrid henry

lost childhood animated tv shows

enid blyton boarding school books

british sitcoms (outnumbered)

house md

characters most like me list on charactour/ openpyschometrics.

the 2 IT zoya akhtar movies

special certain bollywood

teams in red - man united, Ferrari and RCB.

Formula 1, Tennis, Football & Cricket

Batman&Alfred (Christopher Nolan version duh!)

Dark Knight’s aesthetic

old marvel and DC movies

Superhero Comics

Richard Feynman

Haunted castles

Halloween and Halloween costumes (the only right answer is switching between batman and darth Vader or my Pinterest board)

LEGO (lotr, Harry Potter, marvel and DC lego)

Batman, iron man, and dr strange

ford v ferrari

shang chi

fight club and kill bill

Zack and Cody and phineas and ferb captain underpants

Karate kid and kung fu panda

karen from outnumbered

philomena cunk

Mercedes, Sebastian Vettel being a nerd and super awesome with pit overtakes, Brocedes + 2019 rookies and Maxiel

2012 grid

2023 george russel t pose

twitch quartet

Good food and masterchef australia

LUCA

black swan

Cool nepo babies (case in point romy mars (director of the tiktok vodka pasta video & Gracie frikking abrams ily)

F2 and f3

Horror movies

SHITTY COMEDYYY movie genre I.e. the hangover, grown ups, etc.

How to train your dragon (i had a dragon dinosaur phase so this is justified)

Lego ninjago

michelle mouton

derry girls

being an absolute effing genius

academia

saltburn aesthetic

letterboxd

Horror movies

Old marvel but deadpool revival

Minions

Breakfast at tiffany’s

Old movies (arsenic and old lace, wizard of oz)

Preminger and old Barbie movies

Old Disney movies (101 dalmations)

Merida and brave and Elsa and frozen

the one dance scene from the sleeping beauty

Movies with julie andrews and audrey hepburn and meryl streep

asha banks' and gracie abrams covering songs

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS + nosferatu

horror movies of all kinds (slashers, paranormal, psychological, all of them.)

Kickass (the movie)

DEAD POET’S SOCIETY

[ao3feed-kathony]

The Arrangement

read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/53182015 by mylifeiskara Anthony is tired of being dragged in the media (Lady Whistledown in particular has been extremely cutting) for his reputation as a serial dater. In an attempt to change the narrative and perhaps calm his mother that his “hoe phase” has ended, he enlists the help of Benedict’s friend Kate Sharma to pose as his girlfriend until the gossip rags get bored and leave him alone. The only flaw in the plan is that he has to spend time with Kate, who seems to hate his guts. Words: 4022, Chapters: 1/12, Language: English Fandoms: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Anthony Bridgerton, Kate Sheffield | Kate Sharma, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton, Violet Bridgerton, Bridgerton Family (Bridgerton) Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sheffield | Kate Sharma Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Past Anthony Bridgerton/Siena Rosso - Freeform, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, bi benedict, Art Friends Benedict Bridgerton & Kate Sheffield | Kate Sheffield, Lady Whistledown is like Deuxmoi read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/53182015

[little-miss-buffy]

YOUR CHARACTER:  IN 10 QUOTES !

tell us your favorite quotes from your character. give us an idea of who they are by the things they’ve said. then tag your friends.

Tagged by: stolen from @goddamnmuses

Tagging: @libraryrippcr , @prettiesturgentproblem , @thatslayer , @gloriousxdarkness , @safestkittykatintown , @misfitpuzzlepieces (anyone), @vyrulent (anyone), @multi-royalty (anyone), @demcnsinmymind , @littlebennettbitch , @redemptivexheroics (anyone), @slghtr , @fangsforhire , @fortitudina (anyone (including characters with separate blogs), @soughtserenity (Damon (sorry)), @salvatoraes , @gloriousxdarkness , @reformed-serial-killer (Damon)

"I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about."

"I have all this power. I didn't ask for it. I don't deserve it."

"I wanna date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!"

"It is always different! It's always complicated. And at some point, someone has to draw the line, and that is always going to be me. You get down on me for cutting myself off, but in the end the slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guidebook. No all-knowing council. Human rules don't apply. There's only me. I am the law."

"If I was in full slayer mode, I'd be punning right now."

"Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do."

"Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would *love* to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save the world! Again!"

"Love makes you do the wacky."

"It's about power."

"The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

[xxjadeablexx]

Alastor

Alastor, also known as ‘The Radio Demon,’ is part of the main cast of Hazbin Hotel, as you may have guessed. He is one of the main overlords in hell and feared by a lot of people. We learn in Episode 5 that he is feared for killing a lot of “heavy hitting overlords.” We also learn that he is called ‘The Radio Demon’ because he actually broadcasted their screams across hell. He isn’t really known for being the most friendly, always having an alternative motive. Appearance wise he is like 7 feet tall, only a foot shorter than Angel. He is also always smiling. There's a scene where he is having a complete breakdown and doesn’t stop smiling. Commenters on tiktok, when discussing the scene, have mentioned that they don’t think he even wanted to smile at the moment. Vivziepop has said that Alastor is actually based on the song “You are never fully dressed without a smile.” 

In his past life, Alastor was a radio host and a serial killer. His wiki says “Vivziepop declined to give out details of Alastor's killings, but described him as ‘not going after just anyone’, highlighting his ‘weird moral code.’ “ He died in the 1930’s which leads to some pretty fun, yet dark jokes. An example is in episode 1 when he makes the comment “So many orphans!” when talking about The Great Depression. Him being alive in the 1910’s-1930’s explains why he talks the way he does. He calls the tv a ‘picture box,’ says that he loves the ‘picture show,’ and when annoyed about making an advertisement says “Noisy picture box advertisement!” instead of just calling is a noisy ad. He also, despite caring about appearance to a certain degree, repeatedly claims his face was made for radio. Despite not using/understanding modern lingo for what i consider most the show, he does seem to know some terms. During ‘Stayed Gone,’ (one of my favorite songs,) he says “Now he’s (vox) pissy, that's the tea.” Almost immediately after he says “Uh-oh, the TV is buffering.” He knows gossip is ‘tea’ and that it is a TV, but he goes with the words he's used to. It’s interesting since it seems like everyone else uses pretty modern speech even if it's not from the time they were alive. I feel like the only other time we see something like this is when Angel calls himself a ‘schmoozer.’ 

Alastor also has an ongoing feud with Vox. Vox is basically Alastor but like, TV. He has a tv as a head, can teleport using electricity, and pretty much has eyes all over hell, much like Alastor used too. He took over after Alastor disappeared for 7 years. Episode 2 is called ‘Radio Killed the Video Star,’ a reference to MTV’s ‘Video Killed the Radio Star.’ In the episode, Vox is very much stressed about Alastor being back, because Alastor is way more powerful. The show shows Vox panicking and speaking about how his fans should ignore Alastor. Vox even says “Pulling my viewers, impossible!” but, only seconds later a radio is set out and everyone starts listening to Alastor. At the end of the show, when people think Alastor is dead, Vox says (or rather sings) “Nature abhors a power vacuum. It leaves room for you and me.” Which I personally think shows how Vox and Alastor see each other, which is purely as competition. It’s kinda funny to watch. 

The real interesting thing about Alastor, at least in my opinion, is that he also has a Contract. Sure, he owns people's souls. He’s an overlord, of course he owns souls. But in one scene, Husk stands up for himself, telling Alastor “Big talk for someone who’s also on a leash.” This is a huge development to only be mentioned in the last episode. Alastor is considered a heavy hitter, so how could he be under someone's control? Fan’s speculate that it’s actually Lillith, Charlie's mother, who holds his soul. Some of these theories simply come from the fact that Alastor likes to fight Lucifer for who the better father figure is. One twitter user was like “OMG WHAT IF ALASTOR IS DATING LILITH AND THATS WHY HE WANTS TO BE HER DAD!!!” But Vivziepop has said that Alastor is asexual/aromantic, not showing any interest in people romantically or sexually. So I don’t really pay attention to the theories that involve some sort of romance. From what I can tell, most people only really think this because Alastor disappeared for 7 years, and it had been 7 years since Charlie had spoken to Lillith. Honestly, I’m excited to see his deal explored more in the next season. My original theory was that he sold it to Zestial, seeing as his chains are green and so is Zestial. Reddit user Xeonan thinks that since it is mentioned that Lillith wanted the best for the sinners in hell, maybe she is making Alastor help Charlie with the plan. All in all, not much is yet known about that situation. 

Feel free to add your theories! I’m excited to hear other peoples thoughts!

[lastnightonthecyclone]

I have ocs based off of last night in soho, the hunger games, saw, mean girls, heathers, girl interrupted, thirteen, Scott pilgrim vs the world, everything everywhere all at once, tv girl songs, more songs, the x series (soon to be trilogy) , tlb, fnaf, ahs, infinity pool, the doom generation, us, ready or not, midsommar, arcane, twf, neon demon, orphan, I Tonya, perfect blue, jawbreaker, Jennifer’s body, kill bill, girl from nowhere, helter skelter 2012, suprisa, closer (2004), wild child, assasination nation, the craft, fear street trilogy, stranger things, totally fucked up, twin peaks, moral Orel, Bojack horseman, inside job, the chucky movies, scream (1 and 4), but I’m a cheerleader, Carrie 1976, Priscilla, scream queens, vague totally killer, back to the future,

UPDATE: euphoria (season 1 has a bit more influence than season 2),death note, pretty little liars (mainly season 1 and the season with the dollhouse, but also all the flashbacks with emily and Alison, also Maya), gossip girl , shameless ( esp season 4), Evangelion, the end of Evangelion, fight club, all quiet on the western front, nope, panty and stocking, wild child (2008), Charlie’s angels (not the newest one), class of 2009, serial experiments : Lain , silent hill, lady bird, they cloned Tyrone, birds of prey, moonlight, possession (1981), will update when I’m not fucking lazy

it is also intertwined with like a MILLION different songs

[mariacallous]

Twitter may be slowly decaying, but it still finds a way to generate a minor sex panic. The latest micro-iteration blazing through one corner of the pop culture sphere: Penn Badgley, best known for playing Dan Humphrey on Gossip Girl and as the star of Netflix’s You, said that he no longer wished to act in sex scenes, citing fidelity to his wife. According to his podcast, Badgley asked You showrunner Sera Gamble for a reduction in intimate scenes in the show’s fourth season, which premiered last week; his character, the disarmingly bookish serial killer/love addict Joe Goldberg, still has sex in the new season but less so than in prior ones, and fully clothed.

Specific contractual clauses regarding intimacy on camera are not new – Julia Roberts is one of many actors who’ve said they’ll never do on-screen nudity, for example. And Badgley is certainly entitled to his own boundaries. (A new Variety story connects his reluctance to film intimate scenes to his feelings of discomfort as a child actor.) But a segment of the Twittersphere’s extension of his personal logic into an argument against sex on-screen in general, and the conflation the professional performance of intimacy with individual fidelity, feels disturbingly puritanical. Some have expressed distaste at any on-screen nudity, or asserted that most sex scenes are gratuitous, unnecessary and rife with issues of consent.

(Badgley, to be clear, only suggests an anti-sex scene argument beyond his own work: “That aspect of Hollywood has always been very disturbing to me – and that aspect of the job, that mercurial boundary – has always been something that I actually don’t want to play with at all,” he told Variety. But his claim to fidelity doesn’t feel too far removed spiritually from Christian actor Kirk Cameron insisting that he’ll only ever kiss his wife.)

This line of thinking is, to be clear, absurd, and admittedly much of the dreaded “sex scene discourse” is classic Twitter behavior, ie morality circle-jerking or over-dunking on easily dunkable takes. But it is concerning insomuch as it reaffirms Hollywood’s pivot away from sex on-screen and the sexlessness of culture in general – the gamified, optimization-driven, personal brand-laden, uncanny valley landscape of life online. The final CGI-constructed kiss at the end of the new Netflix romcom You People, Lindsay Lohan’s body double for the kiss in her comeback vehicle Falling for Christmas, the scolding attitude to eroticism on Twitter – it all feels apiece with the depressing decline of the Hollywood sex scene (and, as some have argued, the decline of young Americans having actual sex).

It feels a bit odd to defend the utility of the sex scene, because its importance to cinema (and my personal interest in movies and TV) seems so obvious – think the box office dominance of Fatal Attraction, the groundbreaking tent scene in Brokeback Mountain, even the car tryst in Titanic. But Hollywood has managed to get by with fewer and fewer of them: according to a 2019 report in Playboy by the Black List’s Kate Hagen using IMDb data, sex in cinema in the 2010s was at its lowest point (1.21%) since the 1960s, half a point (1.79% ) lower than in the 1990s, the heyday of the erotic thriller (and adult mid-budget films). (This is significant in relative terms, as four times as many movies were released in the 2010s as the 1990s.) That’s despite demonstrated interest for sex and pleasure on the big screen – see: the surprise success of the Magic Mike franchise, one of the very few to cater specifically to female desire, from 2012 through to this month’s Magic Mike’s Last Dance, or the blockbuster Fifty Shades of Grey series.

There are economic as well as cultural reasons for this. With the rise of streaming services, studios have gravitated toward films with maximum audience potential, including children and international markets – the Middle East, China – with strict morality codes, especially around depictions of gay sex. (Hence completely desexed Marvel movies.) The death of the sex scene owes in large part to the decline of the adult mid-budget drama; it’s not just the absence of sex on the big screen, but “the absence of the general environment in which the sex scene would be warranted”, as New Yorker writer Doreen St Felix put it in a 2022 critical roundtable on the state of the sex scene. The widespread access to porn online, according the magazine’s Vinson Cunningham, raised the bar for a sex scene from titillation to plot. It wasn’t enough to make people horny; a sex scene had to move the story forward or serve a stylistic purpose.

Narrative momentum can in itself be a turn-on. As a teenager growing up online, I was significantly less interested in porn, which felt obviously fake, than in Youtube compilations and cuts of various sex scenes, which had the trappings of real characters, and thus real life. The scenes felt fascinating, shocking, spellbinding, adult. Maybe not actually realistic, but vibrant and vital, validation of my own capacity for eroticism. Sex is an essential part of humanity, sex scenes an essential reflection of the human experience.

The anti-sex scene scolds seem to have forgotten that, and instead conflated many legitimate concerns about filming intimacy with the act itself – the idea that the possibility of violated consent invalidates the entire enterprise. Of course sex scenes can be exploitative and violating, such as director Bernardo Bertolucci’s refusal to prepare Maria Schneider for the “butter rape” scene while filming Last Tango in Paris in 1972. Just last month, the stars of 1968’s Romeo and Juliet sued Paramount for sexual exploitation, alleging they were manipulated into nude shots as teenagers. Several Euphoria cast members have discussed working with writer and creator Sam Levinson to lessen their nudity on-screen, which can be screengrabbed and memed across the internet without context and out of one’s control.

It’s interesting to see a backlash to sex scenes just as Hollywood has reckoned with how to do them better and more ethically with the rise of intimacy coordinators along the #MeToo movement. An intimacy specialist worked on the Hulu show Normal People, for instance, to specifically make the sex, including a nine-minute scene which seamlessly simulates the entire act from start to finish, feel naturalistic, entrancing, good. Television generally has been better territory for the sex scene, more accurately and vibrantly reflecting desire and eroticism than most big-budget films. Sex in shows such as Euphoria, Bridgerton, Pose, Industry, Normal People, Conversations with Friends, Hulu’s erotic thriller-adjacent Tell Me Lies and, in a watershed way, Girls, is used for fun, for character development, for shock, for representation, for expressions of gender dynamics and power.

There are of course still films that play with sex and narrative in provocative ways – for self-actualization and revelation (Good Luck to You, Leo Grande), to skewer the power dynamics in a relationship (recent Sundance breakout Fair Play), or to impart the horror of an actually exploitative relationship (the upcoming Palm Trees and Power Lines). But most of these films exist within the arthouse or are dumped on streaming services, not at the multiplex. Even Magic Mike’s Last Dance, while still a desire-forward romp, is relatively tame compared to prior installments.

Perhaps the most frustrating element of this particular anti-sex scene argument is its fixation on a justification for sex on-screen, as if people wanting to have sex or wanting to be turned on is not character-driven or important enough. To deny the power of sex on-screen is to deny one of the core reasons to watch anything in the first place: desire, a basic human impulse and a gift. Long live the sex scene.