#tutubeanie917

[redheadbigshoes]

Hi! I hope you’re having a nice day and happy holidays!

So this is kinda rant with a mix of asking for advice. So I have this close of friend who’s bi with a heavy preference for men since she doesn’t feel comfortable dating women for her own reasons. At times when we will talk he conversations majority of the times will center men whether it be crushes, dating etc. When she talks about this I have no response except listening to her and trying to fit in conversation(by the way I’m a lesbian and she knows this as well). Even at times showing me the men she’s talking to and wanting me tell her are they attractive or ugly bc I’m a “lesbian” I will be more honest. It at times makes me uncomfortable bc she’s putting me in a position to study a man’s attraction when Im not attracted to men but being a lesbian will help her better chose guys. So in response I kinda try to change the subject or push through the convo. But at times she has been complaining that I always push her off when she talks about guys but she doesn’t do the same when I talk about girls and I never try to push her off and told her my reasons but she sees it as that everything that involves men triggers me. It’s already difficult enough being closeted, and not being a safe place to express myself or find other irl lesbians near me, and dealing with my own internal things so yeah at times I would like to step away from a society centers men all the time and have people always talk about men all the time. It just makes me feel more isolated. I love my friend but I just don’t know what to do.

I really understand. Sometimes when we bring up how someone is always talking about men and how we just can’t relate with topics involving them in a sexual/romantic way people will get mad (I don’t know why considering we don’t choose who we’re attracted to).

The comparison your friend made doesn’t seem fair. She’s bi, even if she has a big preference for men she’s still attracted to women, so she still can relate with you whenever you two talk about women in a sexual/romantic way. You simply can’t. Not only you can’t relate with that at all, but the feeling of since ever being pushed to like men, after we realize we’re lesbian, talking about them can make us even more uncomfortable than it did before figuring out our lack of attraction to them.

If you really care about your friend and she really cares about you the best thing to do is to have a honest conversation about it. Tell her you really try to fit in those conversations centered around men and you really try to give your opinion and relate with what she’s talking about but it’s costing you your mental health and it’s been triggering you. Also it’s probably important to bring up the fact that it’s difficult enough to be in the closet and pretend you like them to everyone else, and she’s been a safe space for you to be able to talk about your identity.

If she’s really your friend she will understand.

[studbunniez]

To the person who spam liked me... like do u wanna make out abt it orrrr 👀

But srsly omg thank u pls be my friend❤️‍🔥💗 @tutubeanie917