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#turns out classical composers were gay as hell
yuripoll · 9 months
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making good headway in reading (or rereading) everything for propaganda collection & rec writing, but @whysapphics suggested posting the list of titles for season 3 in case anyone wants to read things beforehand
still subject to change if i end up quibbling over what to include, but here's the current roster (under the cut)
dark forest, white road <- yoshida chiyu (high school drama including a blind girl)
ayaka is in love with hiroko <- sal jiang (silly office romcom)
the moon on a rainy night <- kuzushiro (high school drama including a deaf girl)
serendipity <- mimiyori (webcomic about an overworked magical girl)
handsome girl and sheltered girl <- majoccoid & mocha au lait (silly miscommunication romcom)
aoi hana <- takako shimura (classic schoolgirl yuri)
composing spring in this room where cherry blossoms bloom <- tokuwotsumu (angst. ough.)
makoto no momoka <- sumiko arai (oneshot)
i decided to fake a marriage with my junior to shut my parents up <- kodama naoko (exactly what it says on the tin)
sakura namiki <- takahashi makoto (OLD old. proto-yuri)
i'm not cut out to be a princess, so i'll elope with the villainess <- yamagata atsuka (isekai oneshot)
netsu wo obiru veil <- sakura togane (oneshot about unrequited love)
muted <- miranda mundt (fantasy webcomic)
the girl that can't get a girlfriend <- mieri hiranishi (autobiographical lesbian dramady)
a lady's table <- hwemi (girl dinner <3)
because you are a red rose <- mokuzuko (oneshot about unrequited love... again. im not having issues i prommy)
that time i was blackmailed by the class's green tea bitch <- xian jun (silly high school romcom)
2dk gpen aftertime <- yayoi ohsama (anthology including an epilogue to 2dk gpen alarm clock)
kanojo ni naritai kimi to boku <- takase umi (kind of a stretch to call it yuri (for spoiler reasons) but about a girls crush on her childhood friend who recently came out as trans)
indigo blue <- yamaji ebine (down to earth josei drama about a writer cheating on her bf with a woman)
destroy it all and love me in hell <- kuwabara tamotsu (so THIS is the toxic yuri ive heard so much about)
mahou josei chimaka <- kaiju (webcomic turned real comic about an ex-magical girl who needs to save the world again; no longer available online which unfortunately means i wont be able to read this one at the moment... hmu if anyone knows of an ebook sale for it ToT EDIT: oh im dumbbb i looked at the submission to double check for content warnings and its on IA)
savior <- junqi & jo9 (vampire yuri)
to die in june <- kuragenanami (alternate history where young girls were recruited to the jp army in ww2)
soulmate <- wenzhi lizi & ke ran bing (woman gets bodyswapped with her 17 year old self)
yuki and the authoress <- nagori yu (historical romance)
blooming sequence <- lee eul (college student romance)
you are my angela <- murasakino (short romance about an angel)
maria-sama ga miteru <- konno oyuki & nagasawa satoru (classic schoolgirl yuri)
a kiss and a white lily for her <- canno (modern schoolgirl yuri)
ohana holoholo <- torino shino (gay josei family drama)
kakegurui <- kawamoto homura & naomura tooru (not strictly yuri but, like teppuu, ive been led to believe its homoerotic enough to break that barrier)
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what your favourite classical composer says about you
j.s. bach: you know how to make your hustle work for you, and in high school you probably made money doing all the popular kids' homework for them
vivaldi: you play support classes in all your RPGs but it's because you know for a fact that the entire team would fall apart without you there to take care of them; it's 2018 and you've still got a polyphonic ringtone
purcell: your perm is even bigger than your social media following, but it's totally well-deserved because your brand™ is 100% wholesome
handel: you will fight l i t e r a l l y a n y o n e because they cut you in line at the supermarket checkout or just because they may possibly have looked at you funny in traffic, you don't care
haydn: your entire snapchat story is just you in the green room before orchestra before performances; you started as first violin in your school's string ensemble when you were eight
mozart: you're a bit of a basic bitch but you were also super gifted in primary school and your inevitable early end though predictable self-destructive behaviours will be lowkey iconic
c.p.e. bach: middle child syndrome is your middle name but you're actually more talented than people realise
j.c. bach: STOP TRYING TO MAKE FETCH HAPPEN, IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN
tchaikovsky: a messy bitch who lives for drama but knows where all the best parties are and will get all their friends into the VIP
mahler: in an effort to salvage your reputation as a socialite, you have altered all of your personal stationery to read "from the desk of maris crané"
beethoven: moody, temperamental, has a poetry instagram that's actually pretty good
wagner: your work uniform was made by hugo boss, if you know what I mean
rachmaninoff: writes a critically-acclaimed fanfic, gets seventy five-star reviews, one one-star review, obsesses over the one-star review for six months, starts a hate blog dedicated to the one-star reviewer and eventually retires from the fandom forever
berlioz: not only were you a scene kid in high school, you're still a scene kid now
debussy: the guy in your MFA who thinks they're a marxist because they read das kapital once and extremely overidentifies with at least one of the students in les mis
satie: the guy in your MFA who thinks he's sensitive because he watches chick flicks sometimes and would absolutely write you bad anonymous love poetry and leave it in your bag for you to find after class on valentine's day
saint-saëns: gifted kid with a fandom tumblr who reads reddit creepypasta at 3am, author of at least one iconic novel-length fanfic, has a devoted following who constantly pester them for updates, probably has an aesthetic blog
bartók: you submit subversive anti-colonialist short fiction to literature magazines and then give melancholic author interviews about reclaiming the motherland from the comfort of your pricey manhattan studio apartment that you moved into after your third poetry anthology made the new york times bestseller list
kodály: you get along really well with kids, but that might just be because you're, like, weirdly obsessed with nursery rhymes
dvořák: president of your campus DSA chapter, leads a hell of a sit-in, actual woke bae, plays the ukelele
chopin: just so you know, everyone hates how perfect you are and they all talk about it behind your back
john cage: just so you know, everyone hates how quirky you are and they all talk about it behind your back
arnold schoenberg: you know people talk about how quirky you are behind your back and it's what gives you strength tbh
prokofiev: you know exactly how perfect you are and you resent that regular people would even dare to expect you, an actual hero, to stoop to their level by doing regular person things like working for a living or participating in the social contract
grieg: you are probably re-reading the lord of the rings right now, you giant nerd
holst: you're a frustrated schoolteacher who really and truly thinks that if you just try hard enough, your students will suddenly find classic literature interesting and fun (spoilers: they won't, but you'll be having too much fun to care)
shostakovich: relationship status permanently set to "it's complicated" on facebook, can never pick the restaurant, but a sassy bitch who writes vicious yelp reviews when mad
sibelius: enthusiastic movember participant, unironically cries while singing the national anthem
arvo pärt: some people just want to watch the world burn
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werewolfpropaganda · 4 years
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Sébastien - Male Werewolf x Male Reader
not sfw. 4886 words. you meet and fall in love with werewolf and busker, sébastien.
You missed seeing the stars. 
You missed seeing the stars deeply — a horribly indescribable feeling you felt deep in your core everytime you looked up at the night sky — because Manhattan had no stars. It hadn’t had stars for a long time, and it probably never would. 
Growing up in rural suburbia had few pluses, but at the very least there was space. Between the lack of restaurants, idealistic white picket fences, and families with two-and-a-half children, there were glimpses of beauty: picturesque forests, a wide open sky, and the stars. You used to go stargazing just about every week with your father well into adolescence (and partly into adulthood), until he died and left you with this mess. You moved to the city, and, well, here you are.
You looked out onto your balcony. It would have been a good spot for stargazing. Only 22 and you were living the American Dream: renting an apartment with an okay view of the adjacent building and a shittily constructed fire escape. You felt like it could collapse at any moment and you would get to recreate “Fire on Marlborough Street.” Truly the American Dream.
It was time for your daily walk. Despite the fact that you lived in Manhattan, you never left your apartment except for work and this walk. You had no real friends and Upper Manhattan was basically just banks and pharmacies, anyway. 
You lived within walking distance of the park, so your routine was partially through there. You put on a jacket and left, not completely sure that you locked the door. 
There was a guy playing the violin about six feet from where you were sitting, and he looked to be about your age. He was really good at what he did, playing a song that sounded nothing like the Suzuki viola books you played from as a child. You never learned the names of any classical composers so you guessed. Debussy? Bach? Vivaldi? Who knows?
He had an open case next to his boots, with about 20 dollars in various amounts. There was also a small card linking to his social media. You pulled up his Instagram, and, well, you hated to admit it, but he was really attractive. In all the pictures, his hair was styled into a wavy bun, although in real life his hair was down. He was currently wearing a bomber jacket and black jeans, and he was fit. Not fit enough to be gross, but in a casual way where you pretend to not care about how you look but you really do.
You dropped five bucks into his case. He looked at you and smiled a cute smile. You smiled back, and then tried to hide it by speaking. “That’s so beautiful. How long have you been playing the violin?” you asked.
“This is a viola,” He stated back, ceasing the music and holding his viola out. He ran his hand down the back of it like that meant anything to you.
“Shit,” You recalled when you played viola as a teenager. Anger was the only emotion you could feel when people called the instrument the wrong name, even though it was a pretty benign mistake. For a split second, you considered telling this to him, but doing that felt like it would make the situation about you and, subsequently, worse. You decided on a simple: “I’m sorry. Fuck.”
“Hey hey hey, you’re fine, darling,” He responded warmly. No one had called you a pet name in a long time. “Most people don’t apologize. Some people argue with me, as if, no, Sébastien, you’ve lost it and you’re actually playing a violin,” You laughed. “I’m Sébastien, by the way.”
French. That was a gross first thought you had, but he was indeed French. You told him your name.
“Oh, I love that. I’m going to apologize for snapping.”
“Sébastien, it’s so totally fine. I know the feeling of people assuming the instrument you play,” Apparently you were going to tell him. Okay. 
“I must say, it’s always violinists,” Sébastien said. 
“Oh my god, I so fucking know!” You unconsciously stamped your feet into the dirt to let out the emotion you were feeling.
“I hate violinists.”
“Hate ‘em. So stuck up.”
“I know. I actually used to play the violin religiously, but then my teacher told me I would have better luck finding a job if I played viola because there were so many violinists. Guess what, I can’t get an orchestral job anyway,” You both laughed. “I do think viola jokes are funny though.”
“Wait,” You said with a bit too much excitement. “What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?”
You could tell Sébastien knew the joke about halfway through, because he smiled and tried to hide it. “The coffin has the dead person on the inside. I love that one.” He laughed. 
You talked for what felt like an hour — about your musical experiences and upbringings and hobbies and pretty much everything — although it was realistically a lot longer. Sébastien was born in France and moved here when he was young, and has been trying to do music ever since. It was still midday when you went out to walk and it was dark now. You stared at him illuminated by a streetlight that didn’t particularly flatter his face, but he still looked good. 
“Would you…” Sébastien hesitated and spoke quietly. “Would you want to get coffee with me?” 
You smiled. “Hell yes, dude!” Your mind flooded with first date spots. “There’s this really cute place by my apartment we can stop by now and then we could probably go starga-” You abruptly stopped and looked at him. Sébastien’s lips were pursed. Fuck. There aren’t any stars in Manhattan. 
“Sure, darling!” He got down and put the money from his case into his bag. He started to put his viola away. “I’ve been busking for a while now and believe it or not fingerless gloves don’t warm you up all that much.” Sébastien paused. “Although maybe no stargazing.”
You felt the smile on your face start to lower. You hadn’t even noticed you were smiling until now. “Not even for the fuck of looking at an empty night sky except for the moon and the beeps of a satellite?”
“It’s like a metaphor.” He picked the case up and looked up at the sky for slightly too long. “Alright, I’m just gonna say it.” He’s a murderer. He’s already murdered you and you’re a ghost. This is the afterlife: talking to a conventionally attractive viola player.
“Yeah?” you asked.
“I’m a werewolf.” He didn’t necessarily look ashamed but you could tell he wasn’t exactly confident in what he was saying.
You had never actually met a werewolf, because the suburbs had no diversity and you never left your apartment. You actually did quite like werewolf porn, but admitting that you had both never seen a werewolf in real life and fetishized their existence would make you look really weird. “Nice.” You were excited. 
You had been seeing Sébastien for about a week now, and were about to go through with your promise of coffee and shitty stargazing. The coffee place had been closed the first time because it was too late, so you tried again earlier. You deliberately planned this for the full moon, and, although you told yourself you wanted to feel guilty about setting up the date for werewolf sex, you didn’t. You could feel guilty after he pumped his jizz into you for the first time.
“Hey, Yasmeen,” you said. “I love your new hijab.” You really did. Yasmeen’s hijab was eggshell white with small gold stars. 
“Thanks, love. You’re paying for it. Literally. You’re buying my coffee and thus paying my salary.” She chuckled and motioned to Sébastien. “Who’s the piece of ass?”
“Aren’t you in a relationship? And gay?”
“I’m like an illiterate nun, love.”
“Right…?”
“I can look at the menu, I just can’t order.” 
“God, Yasmeen.” She laughed at herself again. “Anyway, I’ll have a black coffee and one of those stupid little sandwiches, and Sébastien’s gonna have a pumpkin spice latte.”
“Sébastien? French.”
“I know, right?” You said this a little bit louder than you should have.
“He has some audacity asking for a pumpkin spice latte in early January, especially since this isn’t a Starbucks.”
“Just make it for him.”
“Alright, love.” She put her hands up to indicate innocence. “You’re not normally this snappy.”
“He’s hot. And interesting.”
“Fair enough.” Yasmeen got to work making your drinks, and you sat down across from Sébastien. It was a communal style table, which felt strange for such a small place, and the lighting was slightly too yellow to be flattering. You and Sébastien were probably the last customers. He was typing into a document when you sat down, and promptly put his phone away. 
“Do you know them?” Sébastien asked. 
“Yeah, actually,” you responded. “Yasmeen used to live in the apartment above me and we met like it was La Bohème. I actually used to call her Mimi until she eventually told me she didn’t like it.”
“Huh. Did she need to light a candle?”
“You know it.”
Sébastien gazed down to your chest for a second, before reinstating eye contact. “Wait, am I just being used as cannon fodder to boost the popularity of your friend’s cafe? Do you take men and force them to pay 10 dollars for coffee and a sandwich? Daily? Shame, darling, shame.”
“You aren’t the first man to realize that, Sébastien, although you are the first man to realize that on the third date.”
“And you just tell them when they find out? You must get a lot of wrong numbers.” He laughed a gross laugh — hearty, somehow accented with French, and you felt the vibrations of it just by touching the table — but you enjoyed it nonetheless. 
Yasmeen walked over. “Here is your black coffee,” She said, placing the drinks down. “And here’s your pumpkin latte, love. The sandwich will be out in a bit.” Sébastien looked at you with an empty, but seemingly loving stare, his lips pursed, before turning and thanking Yasmeen. Yasmeen walked away mouthing something to you. You assumed this was her approval, but assuming doesn’t get anyone anywhere. 
“Thank you so much for ordering the coffee, darling,” he said with a smile. The way he said “darling” felt less like a filler pet name tacked on at the end of the sentence and more like a deliberate choice. 
“Hell yeah, dude! It’s payback for the photos you sent me. Also because I love you.” Sébastien had sent you a few pictures of him in his werewolf form before your date with the attached message “I love you!!” That was the first love confession you had received in a while. He used more exclamation marks then you expected, but it was really cute. 
The first thing you noticed when you opened the picture was his sense of aesthetic — sensible, if not a bit too minimalist. The second thing you noticed were his eyes, which were far more yellow than his human form. His fangs protruded out far further than most of the werewolves you’ve seen, his fur was mostly gray except for his white chest and tummy, and he was fluffy as shit. The only thing he didn’t show you was his cock, which you asked him to save for today.
“I love you too,” he said in a soft and light tone, which made you feel one too many emotions. 
“I swear,” You said with a whisper and a lack of inhibition. “When I got to the last photo, the mirror selfie, I literally had to put my phone down because I was just like… that’s so hot.” He was wearing a pair of black boxer-briefs that didn’t do a great job of hiding his erection in the photo. “I saw your bed in the background and it shocked me how huge you were compared to it.”
“I’m not actually that tall in werewolf form, despite being 6 foot in real life. Most werewolves are, say, a foot larger.”
“Really?”
“I… I feel like that’s kinda common knowledge.”
You took a sip of your coffee. It was disgusting. You erred on the side of caution as you said: “What do you mean?”
“Have… have you never seen a werewolf before?”
You laughed, not because anything was particularly funny, or awkward, or even to relieve anxiety. You just laughed to have the noise out there. “Um..”
“Oh, God.”
“No.”
“WHAT.” Sébastien laughed, not deliriously or angrily but in pity. That isn’t what you were expecting. “How have you not… you did go to a shitty public school, huh?”
You were drinking coffee just to do something, and took a large gulp before speaking again. “I will not blame my upbringing on my ignorance, but yes.”
“Question, when do werewolves come out?”
“The full moon.”
“Really, darling?” He pitied you. “Were you born in the 1800s? How much funding did your health class get?”
“I didn’t have a health class.”
“Okay…” He rubbed his temples light-heartedly, you hoped. “Do you know what a period is?”
“Like… blood?”
“No, a werewolf period.”
“Explain.”
“This is common knowledge. This is what you learn when the kid you’re babysitting turns into a werewolf and you don’t realize so you call the hospital.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s my duty to explain this to you. Your information about what werewolves are is really wrong. You’re getting it from, like… fringe articles about the Dendera light bulb. People become werewolves for a few days a month.”
“Okay…?”
“Like a period cycle.”
You smiled, because you found a way to turn your anti-werewolf slight into horrible flirting. “I don’t think I understand. I might need hands-on experience. With a werewolf.”
Sébastien raised one eyebrow. “...Oh, thank fucking god, you’re just flirting.”
“Yeah. Definitely.”
“Yeah, of course I’ll show you, darling. I’ll do anything if you don’t scare me like that again.”
The full moon was going to come out, but it’s not like that mattered, because apparently werewolves aren’t controlled by the moon. Okay. Whatever. The sky had nothing else to offer you, anyway.
Sébastien put his viola case at the base of your bed and sat down. “I love your place, by the way,” he said. “You have a fire escape?”
“Those things are death traps,” you responded, laughing and putting your black coffee in the fridge. You would never end up drinking it and only through it out 2 months later to make place for Thai food. “I’m way too anxious about it to step on it.”
“You’re not that high up,” Sébastien said with an abrupt pause. He pursed his lips. “Not suggesting you risk your safety if you don’t want to. Just-”
“Nah, I get you.” You sat down next to him and took his hand. “God, I love you.”
“I love you too.” He breathed in a breath deeper than necessary, and stared at the ground. Uh-oh. “...Are we a thing, darling?”
“We’re multiple things: Human beings. Lovers. A French violist werewolf and a poor 1893 poet.” Sébastien glanced at you with an empty stare. “Hell yeah!”
“Nice.”
“Just gotta consummate it first,” you said.
“You’re a loser, darling.” 
“Are we not gonna consummate it?”
“No, we will, you’re just a loser that’s bad at flirting.”
“I’ll take it.”
“That’s not the only thing you’ll take.”
“Oh, fuck you.”
Sébastien fell backwards onto the bed with his wonderful, beautiful, gross laugh, feet slightly dangled off. His tank top rose slightly and exposed his navel. “Alright, let me get these off and you can climb on, darling.” Sébastien put his thumbs into the hem of his sweatpants and pulled them to his feet. You were sad to see them go because they did particularly flatter him, but this sadness was replaced with a fluster when you saw his thighs. 
His hips protruded out from his midriff with a strong curve, and his thighs were massive. Sébastien’s thigh and calf muscles were defined in a natural way, from time spent outside and on his feet. Almost his entire thigh was exposed by the short, black briefs he was wearing, and he had a nice amount of hair which grew in thickness as it got closer to the inner of his thigh. You could imagine the feeling of running your hands against it, and it was pure bliss. His bulge was nice and hefty and you just wanted to shove your face into it.
“Alright!” He said. You moved and adjusted yourself to be sitting on his thighs. This was the highest above him you had actually ever been, and you briefly pondered what you looked like from his perspective. 
You reached to grab his hand, but before you could he had already taken your hand and placed it underneath his bulge. You lifted your hand and felt his balls as if trying to determine the weight of a bag of fruit, which was a weird comparison but was also the only thought in your head the entire time, besides: “fuck me.” 
“You like that, huh?”
“It’s like I’m at a farmer’s market,” you said without thinking. He laughed.
“Oh, shut up. You are SUCH a loser.”
He placed his right hand onto the small of your back. You could feel his cock harden in your hand, the tip underneath his balls and lying against your palm. His cock began to stretch out the fabric of his underwear. He began to grind his dick against your hand and it grew even more, to what you estimated to be about eight inches. “Good. Good, good boy,” he said with a gruff voice.
Sébastien fixated his eyes onto yours and used his free hand to pull your head closer to his. “Wait,” he said. You felt Sébastien’s body stiffen and his grinding stop. “Oh, god, this is such a stereotype.” 
You snorted. “What’s happening, dude?”
“I’m transforming.” He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “I swear to God, darling, most werewolves don’t transform on the full moon. My cycle just happened to line up with it.” “I trust you, dude,” you responded back.
Sébastien smiled and pulled you in for a kiss. You closed your eyes and let him do his job. He pushed you down into the bed and climbed on top of you, maintaining a kiss the whole time. You put your hand down the back of his tank top and stroked, feeling the fur of a wolf grow in at a rapid pace. Your heart fluttered and you were almost too in awe of what you were feeling to do anything. It was soft and lovely to touch.
You felt the lips you were kissing become more furry and his tongue longer. His fangs grew in and pushed against the meat of your mouth, which was a foreign, but not painful experience. It became less kissing and more him licking at your mouth and face with a strong passion. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how it felt for him right now. A mixture of both of your spits ran down your face, and you could feel a cock far different from the one you felt before hitting against your midriff. 
Opening your eyes, you saw a werewolf before you. He was much, much larger than you expected, and you didn’t just want to be fucked by this creature, but rather straddled and used as his personal cum dump. Sébastien pulled away from the kiss and you caught a glimpse of his dick, bright red and huge. Just one sight of his knot made you want to scream. 
“How am I?” he said with a gross amount of confidence.
“Sébastien, fuck me.”
He was moving his ass left and right and his cock followed, the tip running against your midriff. His tail was straight in the air, although from where you were you could only see the tip of it. He took his hand, or rather, at this point, paw, and began to unbuckle your belt, careful to not destroy any fabric with his claws. He took your jeans and underwear off with one motion.
You could see his intentions without thought. The tip of his cock was leaking a clear fluid and already at the base of your asshole, just begging to push in and destroy you.
“Ready?” he asked.
“You did NOT lube me up, dude.”
“I- Well.” He stuck his tongue out, and it reached far further down than you expected. “Fine.” He bent down and licked your hole vigorously, lapping in and out as if he were drinking water from a bowl. Sébastien made a mess of spit down there, and you were ready.
The noise you made as he pushed his cock into you was both disgusting and ungodly.
“Are you-”
“Shut up and fuck me.”
He barked, and somehow there was a tinge of French in it. “Don’t talk to me like that.”
“Or what?”
Sébastien responded by pushing his cock a few inches further into you, stretching you out even further and rendering you unable to speak. He licked your nose and woofed. “Good boy.”
Sébastien went at you for the next few minutes, grunting the whole time. He held you down into the bed with his paws and pushed his doggy cock in and out of you, in and out, in and out. You could feel his knot slam against the base of your asshole, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to take it.
His pace quickened and his grunts started to turn into whimpers — desperate whimpers. He needed to dump his load into you and it needed to happen now. Your entire body had turned to nothing and you wouldn’t be able to move for the next several days, but you tried gripping the bed sheets anyway. It didn’t work. 
You heard him howl and you felt his cum enter you. The neighbors would not like that. 
He knotted you and you saw stars. Not in a positive sense, though. You didn’t see the literal stars you saw stargazing growing up, the stars that Manhattan didn’t have and that you so desperately wanted to see. You didn’t see Sirius, or Proxima Centauri, or the Pisces constellation. What you did see was your vision clouding from the pleasure of feeling his jizz fill you, the pain of his knot, and every other emotion humanly imaginable before you passed out. 
You woke up to a tap from a claw and the horrible sensation of Sébastien pulling himself out of you. “Dklfhsdkfshj,” Sébastien said.
“What?” you responded.
“DKLFHSDKFSHJ.” Sure. Whatever. You were barely awake and didn’t care, and somehow managed to take a pillow and bury your face in it. You could feel a wetness on the inner parts of your thighs and the bedsheets below you, as well as your own on your stomach. 
Sébastien took a fabric you were decently sure was his tank top and wiped up the seed he had left on you. It felt good, being pampered. Just the sensation of the touch of a human, or werewolf for that matter, could send you into a frenzy, so you were living the dream right now. 
Sébastien reached over and took the pillow off of your face. “Oh, you did such a good job, darling. You’re such a good boy.”
You groggily smiled. The sun was just about to set and the lighting was actually beautiful for once in your life. An orange and pink glow emanated from Sébastien’s fur. He was still naked, although substantially less horny. The fur on his chest was so thick and furry that you just wanted to shove your face into it. 
More of his nut left your body and he quickly wiped it up. “Yeah,” he said. “That’s not going to be fun.”
“How… how much did you...” you tried to ask.
“I’ve been pent up, alright?”
“I can tell.”
“Do you happen to have some spare… like… everything in my size?”
“You don’t prepare for changing size as a werewolf?”
“I wear elastic clothing before I become a werewolf, because I’m not a loser. Like you.”
“Hey.”
“I mean like underwear. And a tank top.”
“You just came so much, huh?”
“Do you want to have to wear clothes covered in massive amounts of dried wolf nut?”
“Fair point.”
You moved your hands to prop your body up, and while you expected to have a difficult time getting up you didn’t expect to yell from the pain.
“Sorry.” Sébastien pretended to be humble.
“You’re proud of this.”
“Yeah,” he snorted. “I know.”
Sébastien wrapped the blanket around you and adjusted you upright. You touched your hand to the bottom of his muzzle, pulled him in, and kissed him.
“I’m going to reheat my coffee from earlier. You want yours, darling?”
“No thanks.”
Sébastien bent over to take his coffee from the fridge, and the one benefit of living in a studio apartment was that you could see his ass as he did it. You couldn’t tell if he was deliberately moving in a promiscuous manner, but the sight of the lighter fur below his tail was wonderful. He put the coffee in the microwave and leaned against the counter, and for the first time you saw just how big he was. Sébastien crossed his arms and stared wistfully at you.
After a moment with only the sound of the microwave, he spoke. “Y’know what, darling, let’s go sit on the fire escape.”
“It’s almost dark. And it’s cold.”
“We can watch the moon come out, and I’m a giant fluffy werewolf if you don’t remember. We can take the blanket out if you want.”
“Oh, god, Sébastien, that would be so nice.”
Sébastien took his coffee out the microwave and picked you up, the blanket wrapped around you, and carried you over to the window. You were surprised by how easy this was for him, considering he was holding a hot coffee as well. 
“You’re not even gonna cover your ass?” you asked. 
“You’ll be covering up anything I can’t show to the public.”
“What if the people below us decide to have a nice, romantic evening on their fire escape, and they look up and see giant wolf butt?”
“If anything, that would be even more romantic.” You both laughed. “Fine.” He took the blanket and wrapped it around himself.
Sébastien opened the window and you felt a cold rush of air on your face. He climbed out, carrying both you and his coffee, and sat down on the ledge. You sat on his lap and could feel his soft member against you, although you definitely were not in the mood to take it. You told yourself you wouldn’t be able to take anybody ever again, although you knew that was a lie. Sébastien wrapped his arms around you, and you felt warmth everywhere except for your face. He put his paw onto the top of your head and started to pet.
“Are you cold, darling?” he asked. You could feel his bottom jaw hit the top of your head as he spoke.
“Nope!” You marveled at the sky in front of you. It was vast and empty except for the tops of buildings, and the sun was just about to go down. You sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, taking in the environment and general feeling of love.
Sébastien moved his paw from your head to your thigh, and continued petting. You broke the silence. 
“Teach me some French.”
“In school, you’d start with the pronouns, so, I guess, ‘Je’ means ‘I.’ ‘Je.’” He said ‘Je’ with such a strong intent. 
“No,” You laughed. “I mean like romantic things.” 
“You don’t know ‘I love you’ already? ‘Je t’aime’?
“Je t’aime.” You spoke. You somehow couldn’t pronounce it correctly. “Je t’aime.”
“I love you too, darling, but the vowel in ‘Je’ is a schwa.” He demonstrated. You tried again and still pronounced it wrong. “You’ll get the hang of it eventually.”
You laughed and stroked your hand against his thigh, just to get to feel his fur even more. You felt him press his chest into your back.
Sébastien woofed a small woof and then you returned to your comfortable silence, watching the sun fall beneath the horizon. You realized you wouldn’t actually be able to see the moon rise if you were currently watching the sun set, but you didn’t want to say this out loud and break the atmosphere.
“I just realized we’re not gonna be able to see the moon.” Thank god Sébastien said it before you did. 
“Hm.” You pushed your head back to be closer to Sébastien. He wrapped his arms around your chest.
“We can still look at the sky, even if it isn’t stargazing, per se.” He adjusted you slightly. “Like, look at the beep of the light on top of that tower. It’s beautiful in it’s own way.” “Yeah.” It really was. You smiled, overwhelmed by everything that was happening. “I love you.” “I love you too, darling.”
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backpfeifenguy · 4 years
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The Boy’s No Good: Chapter 1
Note: This story is a sequel to All In Your Head
TW: Emotional abuse Beast Boy was feeling… excited? Maybe? He wasn’t sure exactly what he was feeling right now, but he was feeling it, because today was definitely a special day; today was the day that Raven brought her boyfriend to the tower. Her boyfriend? You fool, YOU should be her mate! He was really happy for her; she’d had to deal with so much, it was nice to know that she had someone. She could be yours if you weren’t such a coward! His Beast… wasn’t quite so supportive. She hates you. And his anxiety issues were, as always, unhelpful. But honestly, he didn’t care; Raven was an amazing woman, and she deserved to be happy. If Raven’s mysterious boyfriend could manage that then he was alright in Beast Boy’s books.
Pathetic! You spent years trying to make her smile; years! And now someone else was having some better luck; just as long as she had a reason to smile. It’s not as though you’d ever be that reason. He really needed to meditate; ever since Raven taught him the basics he’d come to rely on it to keep himself centred. It wasn’t a daily thing like in Raven’s case, just when he really felt like he needed to; usually about three times a week. 
About an hour later, Beast Boy was feeling a lot better; his head was much clearer, and his Beast seemed to have gotten the message and shut the hell up. Funnily enough, Raven seemed to be the opposite of his relative calm; it was honestly a novel experience. She was pacing back and forth, scowling and muttering to herself; the picture of anxiety.
“He’ll be here any minute, so be on your best behaviour, okay?” Raven turned to face their leader. “Nightwing, no interrogating him.”
“I already said I wouldn’t!” Nightwing chuckled; he’d mellowed out more than a little. Beast Boy suspected Starfire was the cause.
“Cyborg, take it easy on the ‘protective big brother’ act this time.”
“I know, I know.” He grinned sheepishly. “Sorry again about the goth kid.”
“Starfire, I know that this is difficult, but please don’t hug him too tightly.”
“I will endeavour to avoid causing any harm or discomfort.” Starfire replied solemnly.
“And Beast Boy…” He braced himself; this was likely to be thorough. “You’re probably fine.”
“Wait, seriously?” Beast Boy asked, mildly stunned.
Raven shrugged. “You’re good at making friends. I trust you.” 
“I, uh… I won’t let you down.” Said Beast Boy, blushing faintly.
“I know you won’t,” replied Raven. The doorbell rang. “He’s here,” she noted, making a beeline for the door. After a moment, she walked back in, a man on her arm. “Guys, I’d like you to meet Leopold.”
He was, in Beast Boy’s inexpert estimation, handsome enough. Well, if you liked 6’2”, broad shoulders, lean muscles (they’re all for show) and a strong jawline; personally, Beast Boy considered the whole ‘classically handsome’ look to be kind of overrated. That said, he could see the appeal of those big, cobalt-blue eyes and that swept-back chestnut-brown hair, at least in theory. But he supposed that, if you were looking for the sort of conventionally attractive guy who had tanned skin and perfectly straight white (blunt) teeth, Leopold wasn’t too shabby. 
To his surprise, Leopold went right past the other Titans and walked right up to Beast Boy, hand extended. “It’s great to finally meet you; Raven’s told me so much about you.”
“That’s a loaded sentence,” Beast Boy quipped, shaking Leopold’s hand. It practically went without saying that Leopold had the sort of firm handshake that was typically associated with honesty and overall strength of character. And of course he had a relaxed, disarming smile; at this point, anything else would have been ridiculous.
“Relax,” Leopold chuckled. “It’s mostly been good things.” There was no denying it; Leopold had some serious charisma. Beast Boy had known the guy for less than two minutes and he already liked him. And yet… something about him felt a little off; Beast Boy had learned to trust his instincts, and they were telling him that something was wrong.
“So Leopold, how did you and Raven do the meeting?” Starfire asked politely.
“We met at the library,” He explained. “Our hands touched when we both reached for Fear and Trembling, we got into a conversation, and suddenly it was closing time.”
“We spent three hours talking philosophy,” Raven said, a tiny smile on her face. “After that, I figured I’d take a chance and ask him out.”
“That sounds about right,” Nightwing chuckled. “Flirting over Kierkegaard.”
“Raven’s nothing if not consistent.” Said Cyborg.
“I just don’t get why no-one beat me to it,” said Leopold. “With her brains and beauty, I couldn’t believe she was single.”
“I believe we have all expressed similar opinions.” Said Starfire.
“The dudes in this town are idiots.” Beast Boy said, firmly and confidently.
 “Yeah, but seriously; it’s just so weird!” Leopold exclaimed. “Normally when a girl like Raven’s single, you expect there to be something wrong with them.”
“Yeah, well I’m not exactly perfect,” said Raven. “I’ve got a few issues.”
“Well obviously, but I mean something wrong. Like, ‘everyone’s afraid to talk to you’ level stuff.” 
“So what do you do for a living?” Beast Boy asked brightly, eager to change the subject after seeing Raven’s discomfort.
“Well I’m working in marketing at the moment, but I’ve also been shopping some scripts around.” Successful and creative. 
“What are your scripts about?” Asked Cyborg.
“Well, my favourite’s about a brilliant, misunderstood young man struggling to make it as an artist.” Well, not THAT creative.
“Sounds great.” Beast Boy managed after a second. What must his other scripts be? A genius who’s a prick? A gay couple tragically dying for two hours of runtime? Hack. It occurred to Beast Boy that, for an entity originally composed of raw instinct, the Beast had gotten pretty good at sarcasm. 
“Very classic.” Nightwing noted, a barely audible tremor in his voice telling Beast Boy that he was struggling not to laugh.
“I’m already working on a few changes though;” He looked fondly at Raven. “The words have just come so much easier since we started dating. I think she might be my muse.”
“That is very sweet,” said Starfire warmly.
Leopold shrugged. “I’m just saying how I feel.”
They made conversation for another twenty minutes before Raven announced that she and Leopold were heading out. Moving quickly, Beast Boy was able to stop Leopold before he left the tower, the two of them alone in the lobby. “Hey Leo, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure,” said Leopold. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Look, I know this might sound a little weird but… just be good to her, okay?” He sighed. “Raven’s had a tough life, especially when it comes to love, so don’t hurt her.”
“Understood,” said Leopold. “I’ll take care of her. But since you’re here, I have to ask… do you have a thing for Raven?”
“WHAT?!” Beast Boy’s eyes bugged out of his skull.
“It’s just that, you know, you just walked right up to me, did the whole ‘don’t hurt her’ bit; feels kind of like you’re into her. Seriously, I’m getting some serious ‘unrequited love’ vibes.” His features arranged themselves into a confident, self-important smirk. “I’m a scriptwriter, after all; we know about this kind of thing.” Asshole.
“Relax dude, you’ve got nothing to worry about from me.”
Leopold’s shoulders sagged with relief. “Okay then; sorry if I got weird for a minute there. I know it’s dumb, but sometimes I get a little territorial about stuff like this. It’s like an instinct or something.” His face split into a grin. “I guess you’d know all about that, huh?”
“About what?” 
“You know, instincts and stuff!” He clapped a hand on Beast Boy’s back, a little harder than necessary. “I figure you’re the expert when it comes to raw animal impulse.” 
“Yeah,” Beast Boy chuckled awkwardly. Is he mocking us? How DARE he?! Tear him to shreds! “Total expert.”
“So,” said Cyborg, his tone measured. “Leopold.” 
“He seems nice enough.” Nightwing observed.
“Indeed,” said Starfire.
“Sure,” agreed Beast Boy. “But… did he seem kind of weird to you?”
“Weird?” Cyborg’s eyebrow shot up; he’d long ago learned to trust Beast Boy’s instincts.
“I dunno, I just got kind of a weird feeling from him. And the Beast really didn’t like him.”
That was worrying; as Cyborg understood it, the Beast wasn’t especially interested in most people; it viewed the world in the basic categories of friends, threats, and Raven, who it was strangely obsessed with protecting… oh. Oh! “What’s the matter grass stain?” Cyborg leered. “Feelin’ a little territorial?”
“Come on, dude!” Beast Boy exclaimed. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation here!”
“A serious conversation about Raven.” Cyborg replied, grinning hugely.
“That’s no surprise,” Nightwing quipped. “All his serious conversations are about Raven.”
“I think it is quite sweet, if misguided.” Opined Starfire, smiling indulgently.
“It’s not like that!” Beast Boy squeaked, blushing faintly. “The Beast just wants her to be okay; I just want her to be okay!”
As tempting as it was to keep teasing his best friend, Cyborg knew it was time to ease up a little. “Okay, so you’re sayin’ your upstairs roomie doesn’t like Raven’s boyfriend, so you’re feeling a little bit of totally platonic concern.” The sarcasm in Cyborg’s voice made it clear just how ‘platonic’ he thought BB’s thought process was. “Well, your instincts are usually good, so I think I’ll run a quick background check on the guy; criminal record, news headlines, that kind of thing.”
“He had an East Coast accent,” Nightwing noted, slipping effortlessly into ‘detective mode’. “Almost a Gotham, but not quite. Considering the Germanic name, I’m guessing Bludhaven; I’ll ask around with my contacts, see if anyone dangerous matching his description skipped town in the last couple of years.”
“And I will do the talking with some of the other Titans ladies,” Starfire offered. “We shall keep an eye out for untoward behaviour. I assume you would prefer that Raven not be informed of your concern?” 
Beast Boy shrugged. “I don’t want to worry her if it turns out to be nothing.” 
Starfire smiled warmly. “I keep my lip fastened around friend Raven.”
“That went better than expected,” said Raven. “Nobody did anything weird or stupid, and they all seemed to like you.”
“I don’t know about that,” said Leopold. “I was getting kind of a weird vibe from Beast Boy; I don’t think he likes me much.”
“Seriously?” Raven could hardly believe what she was hearing. “Weird; Beast Boy usually gets along okay with pretty much everyone.
“Yeah, well he seemed kind of… off around me, like he was on edge or something. Said some real weird crap to me just before I left.”
“Weird?” 
Leopold shrugged. “I’m not sure, but I think he might have threatened me.”
“He threatened you?” Raven asked, incredulous. “That’s… crazy.”
“Like I said, real weird.” 
“Don’t worry about it,” said Raven. “I’ll talk to him about it.”
Leopold smiled. “Thanks for that Raven. You’re the best.”
Well, that marks the end of chapter one! I hope you enjoyed it and, just for laughs, here’s a little game you can play; it’s called “spot the red flags”. Just read through the chapter looking for things that Leopold says or does that feels like a red flag to you, list them in the comments, and if you spot the most red flags by the time I start the next chapter, you win! Winners will be acknowledged every chapter, so have fun!
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Survey #222
“hold your breath, my dear, we’re going under.”
Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No. Have you ever stayed online for a long time waiting for someone? Ha ha, yeah... I did that for Mini a lot when I was younger. Would you survive in prison? I can almost guarantee I'd find a way to kill myself, no. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Probably ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Obsess over if I'm making eye contact correctly. Like the WHOLE time I will be thinking about it. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? I had a lot of childhood cats run over, and that was always hard to see. As for coping, I just... did. What else do you do. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. Mini skirts, slutty or stylish? Um, what you wear doesn't determine whether or not you're "slutty." They don't bother me. Do you like a partner who is clean cut or rugged? A mix. Pale or tan, which would you rather be? I like pale skin, I just don't like the texture of mine. The negative of pale skin is the fact you can see flaws more clearly. Is walking cats strange? (like walking dogs) No. What about kids on leashes? What do you think about that? That shit is wild. Teach your children better, or keep them in your sights at all times if they have some kind of condition that makes it challenging to teach them properly. How many piercings have you had, BESIDES ears, no one cares. Two. New tats in your near future? Whenever I myself have the money, my next tattoo appointment will be to enhance my Mark tribute one to better the galaxy texture. I love the guy who's done my tats so far, but there are better out there, and I don't feel he achieved my vision. This tattoo is WILD important to me; it has to be perfect. After that, a "new" tattoo probably won't happen until I have a job or I'm gifted money. How about piercings or re-piercings? "In the near future" is the criteria I'm guessing is still relevant? It depends on how quickly I lose enough weight for my collarbones to be clearly prominent to get dermals. I've been fucking stagnated for a year, though, so I don't know when the hell that's happening... Who would you like to hang out with? There's a lot of old friends and acquaintances that fit this. Next new thing you are wanting to try! Idk. Some sort of job I can actually accomplish. Would you ever visit a psychic medium? Definitely not; I don't believe they're legit. Are some days a waste of makeup? Um so idk if you know, author, but people wear makeup for their own satisfaction. If it makes you feel beautiful, then hell no it's not a waste. Do you watch any beauty gurus on YouTube? Okay I fucking adore Jeffree Star y'all. He's a goddamn Mood and inspirational as ALL hell in terms of his determination, work ethic, and open-mindedness. I watch everything he uploads ever, even though I'm not really interested in makeup. It's cool to watch though; it's an art to me. Do you have a PillowPet? No, but omfg. One of my favorite Christmas memories ever is the night my niece, when she was around two or so, was given one (or something like it?) the night before, we turned the lights out, and lit it up so the colorful stars were all over the room. She was absolutely marveling over it. That was the same night my sister revealed she was pregnant with my nephew, actually. That was a great night. Actually felt like a family. Do you have sleep paralysis? Thank FUCK no. Have you ever wanted an ex back, but found out they were dating someone? I've talked about Jason and Ashley before. God that was a bad. Bad. Fuck-ing. Time. Do you like Placebo? I don't listen to them. Has anyone ever carried you to bed? I mean as a kid, yeah. Idr as a teenager or adult. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? The greyhound. Dachshunds are precious, but as of semi-recently, I'm personally against breeding pets with damaging/unhealthy traits, and dachshunds are very susceptible to spine issues. Idk if greyhounds have any issues like that. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Bitch we poor, no. What is the next craft you are going to make? Probably something for Sara for some special event. I don't think that's much of a spoiler, so I don't mind sharing it. Do you learn choreography easily? I was decent when I was a dance student, but no, I can promise you no. My memory is laughable. If you had to choose, would you rather be taller or shorter? Taller, I guess? Idk. Do you believe that Jesus will come back in your lifetime? No, I don't believe he ever will. What color is your winter coat? ... Shit dude, idr. Idk if I even have one, actually. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Gimme all ur Reese's cups. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? No. Have you ever had a themed b-day party? I'm sure I did as a kid. Were you afraid of heights as a child? No. I am now tho. Which dollar store is your favorite? Here, Dollar Generals are everywhere and generally the preferred one, I believe. What food gives you diarrhea? Totally serious, most exceptionally "fancy" foods; by that, I assume things with lots of intricate spices and other ingredients. At least severe gas pains are almost guaranteed when I eat out somewhere. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Ha ha man, I remember as an elementary school student though, we had a play where I SO wanted to be Snow White. What is the most fascinating part of nature? Evolution. I don't know how I once didn't believe in it. Would you ever go vegetarian? I am serious about returning to vegetarianism when/if I get to a weight I'm satisfied with (losing weight w/o meat is more difficult than with, particularly for an extremely picky eater). I wish I could be a total vegan, but I know I'm not capable of that. Once you actually learn about slaughterhouses and farm life... no. What berry is your favorite? STRAW!!!!!!!BERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is your dream house? Something in the woods with a nice yard/outdoor decor, flowers, wildlife... What was the reason in you crying last? PTSD. Are there any movies in the theater that you’d like to see? The new IT and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. What do you think of Coca Cola? It's my third-fave soda. What about polar bears? Gorgeous animals. I will R I O T if they go extinct. My best friend(s) are/is... Sara. When do you want to have your first kid? Never. I am faaar from cut out to be a mother. Which stovetop burner do you use the most? I don't cook, so. The times I've made eggs, uh... I think I use the bottom right? Do you use a dishwasher or wash dishes by hand? Ugh, we don't have one. What year did you graduate high school? 2014. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I should with how paranoid I am. What is your favorite gas station? Sheetz is the way to go down here. What have been some of your best garage sale finds? *shrugs* Idr the last time I went to one. Ever worked two jobs or more at once? Hell no. I wouldn't survive. How often do you check your email? Every day, mainly for school. What would you do if your ex came to you crying? It would depend on who. "The" ex, I don't give a fuck how I feel about him, he's getting a tight-ass hug because seeing him cry is awful, and I will always care about him to a certain degree. Well actually, I'd ask him before hugging; I don't know if he'd be fine with me touching him. Girt would get a big 'ole hug for sure. Juan, Tyler, and Aaron I'd ask if they wanted a hug. I'd definitely ask any of them if they wanted to talk/vent to me about whatever is wrong; I can't stand seeing people cry. What school do you go to, what grade? I'm a super late freshman in college. How do you feel about school? It's been a drastic change in my daily life and thus has caused stress, but nevertheless I'm ecstatic to be back because I'm actually making progress towards going somewhere. Are you still a virgin? So I know it sounds like it makes NO sense w/o details, but seriously, I don't know. We had "cheaty" ways to just barely skirt around it because at the time I was abstinent, but pretty sure at some point it became sex. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Man, I haven't had chips in a loooong time... though I love them, man. We have crackers at the house usually, and I snack on them occasionally. Is your bed next to a wall? Who doesn't have their bed against at least one?? Is your bed next to a window? There's one beside me against the wall. Do you have neat handwriting? I think so. The only thing I don't like is I write SOOOOOOOOOO slow. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? Dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? Painter. What did your hair look like in high school? Long and normally brown, but sometimes I dyed it black with colored highlights. Favorite flavor of hot chocolate? Normal?? What is your top priority in life? My happiness, probably. Have you ever made a gingerbread house? Yeah. Sucky ones, but they were gingerbread houses, lol. Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? EW both are gross. Skeletons or scarecrows? I'll see you in the Skeleton War, fuckers. Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? My Writing teacher. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? I did a TOTAL 180 on LGBT rights, and my former, intense pro-life stance has altered quite a lot to mostly pro-choice. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? Man, a lot... A total ban from plastic and finding an alternative for it would be great, as well as the cure of cancer and H.I.V. Make gay marriage legal worldwide. Make great progress on cleaning the oceans. I could go on and on. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? As far as personally, possibly. Like, obviously my doctors do. How do you feel when you’re the center of attention? *buys that red button that says "no" in various fashions solely for this occasion* Are you and your S/O Facebook official? She doesn't have a FB, but mine does say "in a relationship." Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Not that I know well anymore; a former best friend is in the process of becoming one, though. So proud of her. Which would bother you more: being told you’re not likable or being told you’re not sensible? Being told I'm not likable would really hurt. How many bedrooms does your house have? Two. Have you ever had a dream in which you died? Yeah. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not really. Everyone gets them. Do you use Snapchat? No. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? Yes. What was your first job? And how long did you work there? I was a sales associate at GameStop. I was employed for like two months, but I worked very few days before I crumbled. Where is the last place you were other then where you are right now? School. How do you feel about the last person you kissed? I adore her. Lol, Lawl, Rotfl, Lmao, or Lmfao? (Which you use most) Lmao or lol. Have you/Do you know anyone that grows weed? Not knowingly to me. Do you really care about name brands? Not just for the sake of being a certain name; I do, however, care about the quality of brands, of course, such as taste for foods or being comfortable in clothes. Describe your favorite pair of jeans to me please. I don't have any. When I was actually slim though, I had a pair of maroon skinny jeans with a black dappling texture, and there were holes in them where the fabric was just black, and I loooooved them. Those and my leather boots was A Look. To wash in the shower, do you use a loofa? That's not the technical name for what I use according to Mom when I've called them that, but rather a body sponge or something like that, but it's like the same thing. Have you ever ridden on a horse? Yes, though not at a gallop or anything "real." Just at things like school fairs. Are you polite? I think I'm very polite, honestly. Do you prefer bright or muted colors? Bright, usually. Can you roll your tongue? I used to be able to after practicing all day once with a friend ha ha, but I haven't been able to for a long time. Definitely can't now with snake eyes. Are you a light weight when it comes to alcohol? No, apparently. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? British and country. How loud do you listen to music? Too loud, I know. Are you more awkward talking to people in real life or online? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, real life. I don't think I'm half bad online. Do you bruise easily? So easily that I was tested for anemia or whatever it's called where you bleed easily (the test was negative, thankfully). Despite feeling bruised, though, I usually don't have an actual mark. Have you ever bought pre-ripped jeans? All my jeans were. I hate plain, boring jeans. What are you most likely to spend money on? Tattoos, lol... I genuinely think I'm good with money, I feel because of the financial position I've grown up and lived in, although I have never had a stable source of income, so it's hard to really determine that yet. I'm quite sure I'll be fine, but I really do hope I handle my money well when I do and don't invest all my spendable (as in, not money that I'm saving for emergencies) money into just tats. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Welcome to my life, lol. I'm at an age where it's starting to get embarrassing, but. Idk how to change it. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever heard somebody die of? *shrug* When was the last time you (dis)liked someone without really knowing them? I dunno. I try to not do that. When was the last time you wore a mask? What did it look like? Hell if I remember. I don't even remember wearing any on Halloween as a child. What comes up on your recommended list on YouTube? Mainly let's plays or music. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? Hell no, that wouldn't last long. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? My mom has a gay cousin. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? No; I don't care enough about them too. I wish they were smaller. I liked mine when I was a healthy weight, so, let's get back to that size, please. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? Aaron, I think he actually is. Juan, trust me, he's not. Jason couldn't convince me he was gay even if he tried. I very highly doubt he'd be bi/pan, either. Girt, I would be surprised, but not like, immensely. I don't have a clue about Tyler and if he has any gay tendencies/history. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? NO SIR-REE. Do people ever compliment your eyes? Yeah. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? I don't know. I used to feel REALLY strongly about porn just being a big 'ole fucking nope, but whatever man, we're sexual animals. Better you take care of urges yourself rather than, you know, raping someone or something. If I personally caught my s/o doing it, idk how I'd feel, but knowing me and my self-esteem, I'd feel I'd probably jump to the whole (if we were serious) "um hi I'm your fckng gf what am I not enough" thought path. I don't think I'd be livid, though. Ask the old Britt, and we would've broken up there, probably. Who’s the last person that hung up on you? *shrug* Do you have a common first name? Yeah. Have you ever been engaged? No. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Four, currently. They're gonna be covered one day. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? No. Have you ever been punched? No. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? I will, without fail, get the spicy shrimp fritas and be the happiest human being on Earth. How do you feel about bats? I absolutely adore them. Do you get excited when you learn you have to dress up? Quite the opposite, actually. What brand of hair spray do you use? I don't use it. Do you like it when guys wear hats? I have zero opinion on this. Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's? I prefer Wendy's. If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? No. Are you the type of person who would study for a test for hours? No, I'm not. I generally don't even have to like, intensely study; I tend to learn upon reading things, or in like math, performing the actions just a couple times. "Studying" doesn't tend to work for me; if it gets to that point, it probably won't stick, regardless of how many times I try. Are you a lazy person? I hate admitting just how lazy I am. But I mean again, it also depends on what is at stakes. Does your house have a doorbell? Yes, though I actually don't know if the doorbell works... Favorite album? Ozzy Osbourne's Black Rain. Favorite farm animal? PIGS! Has your Facebook ever been hacked? No. Do you spell gray with an A or an E? I use the American spelling ("gray"). Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? I would be perfectly and entirely happy with purely money for my birthday, because that equals tattoos, lmao. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Have you ever played laser tag? Once on a double-date with Jason and our old roommates/friends. Do you ever share things on Facebook? Almost all I do are share things I support, find funny, find as inspirational or cute, stuff like that. I can confidently say the majority of people I even have as "friends" on there do not care that much about my personal life. Is anyone you’re close to in the hospital right now? I mean, define "close." My grandmother's going through chemo, but we're not like... my definition of particularly "close," though she's close-ish family, so idk. Is your Wifi protected? Of course. What did you have for lunch today? I didn't eat lunch. How often do people write on your Facebook wall? On my birthday, lmao. Does your phone have a cover on it? No. I'd say I want one, but way more than that, I want a new phone. Mine is godawful. What color was your swim suit this year? I mean my most recently-worn is black, but I think it'd probably be too big for me now. I haven't swam in a long time. Do ladders scare you? Yes. Do you have any pictures of you and your friends in your bedroom? No. How do you eat Oreos? I'm one of those people that breaks the cookie to eat the cream first. Who or what sleeps with you? My cat Roman. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yes, but spelled differently. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? Honestly, it's become almost embarrassing to say I was ever pro-life. I'm vehemently pro-choice now. What color LED is the display in your car? Okay so Mom's has a rainbow of options, but I think it's currently stuck on... purple? I think? How am I unsure???? I'm in it every day?????????? Who was your first kiss with? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. What kind of milk do you drink? I'll drink anywhere between skim to whole milk, but I'm not really a fan of skim despite having grown up with it. What aren’t you afraid to stand up for? I'd stand up for gay rights if it killed me. Do you know anybody in the military? Loosely. What was the last hotel you stayed at? I don't have the slightest clue. Do you have any STDs? No. What’s your preferred salad dressing? YO the Olive Garden dressing is b o m b. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver? No. Who’s your celebrity crush? I'm almost 24 years old ha ha ha hahaha I'm too old for a celebrity crush aha hahaa haa aahha ah hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa- What color is your fridge? Black. Do you know the metric system well enough to live in Canada? No, admittedly. What was the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? Tell me the place (on your body) and the story of it! Idr. If you have Etsy account - show the very last item you added to the favorites. If not - either skip or just visit Etsy and find one thing you like: I think I have one, but I don't use it. I don't feel like looking. What would you do if you knew that you will be single to your very death (even if you’re in a relationship now)? Nothing would change...? My relationship status doesn't alter my goals and such. Are there any exchange students at your school? We have a LOT of foreign students at my school, so I'd assume so. Have you got any half or step siblings? I have three (actually four, but I don't know one tho) half-siblings and technically a step-brother, but I don't see him as a "brother," really. What cars do your siblings drive, if they do drive? My older sister has a red car, and my younger has a... black Kia, I think? It's dark is all I know for sure, and I only know the brand because it's new. I don't live with either or see their cars frequently elsewhere, so idk. What about your parents? Idk what kind my dad drives, but BOY do I know my mom's car, lmao. It's an older white Kia (I think?) with the bumper fuckin zip-tied onto the car bc it was given to us after a dance friend hit a poor deer, lmao. Look, we don't complain, shit was free. Do you like kid’s movies? Yo I do NOT trust you if you claim you like NO "kids' movie." Describe your handbag. I'm actually gonna look it up. (https://sourpussclothingwholesale.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/night-owl-bag.jpg?w=584&h=364) When was the last time you had to take someone home? ME, never. I don't have my license because I'm terrified of driving. Who was it, and where did you take them home from? N/A Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? Sara Jaaaaaane!!! :'> There are other friends I'd like to meet, too. If so, which website did you meet on? Sara and I met via YouTube when it was actually community-oriented. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, multiple times. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, I guess. She didn't actually like, force me outside, but I had to call my mother to pick me up. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. Did you get swine flu? No. What is your favorite type of cat? Aesthetically, I find Persians to be way too cute, though I don't support their continued breeding. It's literally abuse to breed animals that deformed. Do you support the LGBTQ community? I'm bisexual, so like- Have you ever eaten a veggie burger? Yeah, the Morningstar brand from Burger King (not the Impossible Burger one). It's genuinely not bad. If you could meet any major political figure, who would it be? I'm not educated enough on like, any, to properly answer this question. If you drink Monster, what is your favorite flavor? N/A Do you own any Webkinz stuffed animals? I was that Bad Bitch(tm) with like,,,, almost all of them back in the day. If so, do you have a Webkinz online account? It exists, but idr the password sobs. If you had/have a Club Penguin account, how old were you when you got it? I would have a character for like two days, not go back on for years, repeat a couple times... but idk how old I was. Do you own any Nintendo video game consoles/handhelds? GameBoys and a DS Lite, yes. What religion were you raised in? Roman Catholicism. Are you still that religion, if you had one? Far from it. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Buddhism and Wicca. What ancient culture intrigues you the most, if any? Idk. Were/are you a teacher’s pet? Not like, the kind that sucked up to the teacher for their personal benefit, but if you mean just as in the teacher's favorite, yeah. Do you like pink lemonade? Hell yeah man. What’s your favorite U2 song, if you have one? I don't listen to them. Were your parents born in the United States? Yeah. Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? I want it to be perfectly and violently clear that I fucking despise you if a child being fed fucking offends you. Why or why not? Because women's bodies aren't sexual fucking objects designed for your viewing pleasure. Write an unpopular/offensive opinion of yours here. I’m interested. Buckle up, lads. Seatbelts fastened? Ass properly in the seat? Airbags in place? There are two genders.
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stellarbisexual · 6 years
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Unsung Reddie fics
Hey, y’all! There’s sooooo much content for Reddie that a lot of fics slip under the radar and don’t get nearly the amount of love I think they deserve. I try to rec them individually whenever I read them, but I thought I’d start a post as a centralized place to keep them.  Not a comprehensive list by far, but I wanted to get this started. I’ll keep adding periodically, so feel free to bookmark/whatever.
UNSUNG REDDIE FIC RECS
heaven isn’t too far away by @reddieforlove
AU. I am an Absolute Sucker for any fic where one person has mental or emotional blocks around sex and turns to the other person to lovingly guide them through it.  And this does it so, so, so fucking well.  According to the author, it was deeply personal for them to write, and it shows--and frankly, it was deeply personal for me to read, and it really affected me.  It’s also joyful and super fucking hot and just wonderful. 
with or without you by @bitchin-eds (aka alliegaga on AO3 - you changed your name!)
AU. WIP. Eddie and Bev co-host a radio show where Eddie gives advice to call-in listeners. Eddie is a recovering alcoholic and Richie is an escort, though it’s not the focus of this fic, at least not so far, which is pretty refreshing and interesting. We drop into this story with a Richie and Eddie With History, and I CANNOT GET ENOUGH. Everything this author writes is SUPER emotionally effective, but this is probably my favorite. The inner life of the characters is written super well. Bonus Bev/Eddie friendship <3 
all i wanna do is go home with you (but i know i’m out of my mind) by wishie
Flawless, classic Reddie realizing their feelings for each other fic. Eddie POV. Just... wonderful. Excerpt:
“Love you,” Richie says sleepily, and Eddie pauses, a little more awake, because Richie hasn’t said that to him since they were seven at least.
“Love you too?” Eddie says cautiously. Richie beams.
“Cute, cute, cute,” he says, reaching out and pulling Eddie into his arms. “So cute. Did you know my best friend Eddie is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen? So cute. Even though he’s mean and pushes me off the bed.” He buries his nose in the top of Eddie’s head. “Love him to death.”
Eddie’s eyes are wide, searching for something, anything, through the darkness. Darkness. He’s thankful it’s dark. His cheeks are hot and he thinks he just might die and it’ll be all Richie’s fault.
In Over Your Chest is Way Too Deep by @speakslowtellmelove
That Surfing AU. WIP. Seriously, I think speakslow writes the best Richie; everything out of his mouth just crackles, and all their stories would be worth it for how he’s written alone, but everything else is so wonderfully spot-on too. On top of that, this is just a Delightful slow burn UST situation that makes my heart and my loins go pitter-patter.  Plus, sexy beachy times. (I love a golden, confident Eddie.)
Lipstick by @trash-the-tozier (aka littleboxesofstars on AO3)
AU. I tend to love everything by this author, so check out their other work, too!  While Richie’s trying to convince his parents he Isn’t Gay, he just happens to spot an in-drag Eddie across the street and, thinking he’s actually a girl, stops him and asks him to do him a favor by posing as his girlfriend.  You start this one expecting all the cliches, but the author avoids every single one and writes something genuine, effective, and honoring both characters as multidimensional humans.  Really unexpected and well done. +side Stenbrough
stop calling, stop calling (i don’t wanna talk anymore) by ironicallyinternational
Awesomely in character Richie, and Eddie’s confession of feelings is one of the best I’ve read in the fandom. 
Eddie Chronicles by @nb-richie (shipit) 
Angsty as hell Eddie character study, heed the warnings. Gorgeously written.
Telephone by @themightychipmunk
AU. Based on one of the storylines in the film New York, I Love You. Richie is a composer for anime films, and Eddie is the assistant to the director--who often calls him to give notes on the director (Ben)’s behalf. God, I love a neurotic Richie and a (mostly) calm, collected Eds.
youth by oakshields
I’ll just rec this by copying and pasting one of my favorite parts: Richie had shut him up by grabbing the boys smaller face in his hands, bringing his lips in so close Eddie was convinced Richie was going to kiss him. His lips had parted, just slightly, in shock (or anticipation) and oh shit what the fuck, what the - Richie blew the smoke from his lungs right into Eddie's face, right through his parted lips. Eddie had coughed from the shock of it and Richie had laughed, this crazy and beautiful sound and ran his thumb over Eddie's cheekbone before letting go.
Shed Your Skin and Expose Your Bones by @namingtheruins (inoubliable on AO3)
Honestly, I would rec this author’s entire oeuvre, as it doesn’t get nearly enough love and it’s always motherfucking consistent. 
This one takes a simple premise - Richie takes Eddie’s virginity - and makes it impossibly sweet and hot and hits you right in the fucking feels. Richie is sweet and concerned, and Eddie is inexperienced yet bold and demanding, and I am here. for. it.
only love could ever hit this hard by @reddieforlove
I fucking love a bottom Richie, and this is exceptionally well done. 
Careful Creature Made Friends with Time by @namingtheruins (inoubliable on AO3)
AU. Selkie!Eddie. Gorgeously written, like a fairytale. Just lovely. 
Scorpion Grasses by @pimpedoutgreenears
Mostly canon compliant, follows the Losers through the end of high school and Eddie and Sonia moving to NY. This fic fucking GUTTED me, especially the last chapter, which focuses on all the Losers anticipating forgetting each other and Eddie PREPARING to forget everyone. I was a bucket of tears the whole time I read it. This will break your heart, and if you relate to Eddie’s relationship with his mother (like I do), it will kill you, be forewarned. Super, super effective. 
takes one to know one by @trash-the-tozier (littleboxesofstars on AO3)
Another perfect, classic Reddie realizing their feelings fic. Canon divergent, in that Richie joins the Losers later than in book/movie canon. 
*Aged up-30s/40s-Reddie* recs
Lovesong by the wonderful @waxagentwrites - a sprawling, novel-length WIP that spans decades.  The latest section of the series (Seven Nation Army) takes place with all the Losers around 40 and receiving the dreaded phone calls from Mike.  Canon divergent and what that means for the canon major character deaths is still TBD, but there’s PTSD/Pennywise stuff all up in here.  Even if that’s not your jam, this is beyond worth it for the amazing characterization, writing, and breathtaking aged up established Reddie, who are soulmates and intensely in love and just can’t get enough of each other.
*Seriously, this is my #1 Reddie fic by far - it hits every emotional note, and it is an Event whenever it updates. I drop anything and everything to read it. It’s that good. 
Reunion by @richie-trashbrak (whyyyy can’t I tag you) :(
Slightly canon divergent. Richie returns to reunite with the Losers and face It again. Eddie’s closeted and in an unhappy marriage to Myra.
give the past a slip by brodayhey
Canon divergent. Gets me right in the feels. On his way to a live show for his popular podcast, Richie stumbles into a person from his past (Eddie), and they remember each other. Excerpt: Richie bent his head to kiss Eddie again. Eddie walked him forward, so that his back hit the wall. It was cold through his tee shirt. They kissed fiercely, Eddie biting on his lips, hard. The remember me was felt, not said.
Fight Club by @namingtheruins (aka inoubliable on AO3) - part of a much larger, wonderful series Skin&Earth - this is *canon compliant*, and as their tag says, you know what that means. Get ready to cry.
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fapangel · 7 years
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Since I first issued my dire predictions of civil violence in the not-so-distant future, I’ve been looking, exhaustively, for evidence I’m wrong. III Have you considered this angle: The traditional media's hyping that up? I mean, we know in the early/mid 60's the newspapers and cameras focused on the small number of violent protestors during anti-war protests and made them out to be the majority. If the media has no shred of integrity left, why are you looking at them for evidence of integrity?
That’s just the thing - I’m not. I’m looking at people. at the “man on the street” and in both my personal life (as in actual meatspace, not online) and in actual journalism (some people still do it, outside and inside the mainstream establishment,) I’m seeing a decidedly worrisome tone. 
We all remember “literally shaking” on Twitter the night of the election, but there were other words going around quite a bit - sick, disgusted, afraid, scared, etc. Twitter - as it’s used by the majority - gives a quick insight into the personal emotions of the people using it. (This is why PR uses that bank on the presumed intimacy - like Trump’s twitter - tend to be more successful, and more careful, sterile treatments, like the Clinton campaign that took 12 staffers and 10 drafts to compose a single tweet, typically lack traction.) Sure, us seal-clubbin neocons and tree-hugging liberals had a good giggle at the triggered snowflakes breathlessly predicting the Right Wing Gestapo emerging from the woodwork to bash the gays - but then a friend of mine told me it’d actually happened, post-election, to a friend of his, and that’s when my laughter stopped. 
As was explained to me, the LGBTQ folks feared that Trump’s election would be seen as “permission” by all the knuckledraggers, and it seems it was. So it’s time to ask yourself the question - how did the knuckledraggers get that impression to begin with? Maybe - just maybe - it had something to do with the media screaming, 24/7, for months, that Trump was literally Hitler and that he was going to oppress all the gays and Jews and Muslims and fluffy bunnies. “Of course he’s Our Guy,” the Illinois Nazis said with glee, “the entire news media keeps screaming about it!” 
Also consider that the media’s reinforcing the left wing’s narrative, which makes people on the left wing much more likely to believe it since it’s validating their own beliefs. Vox.com has an excellent article on the Russian conspiracy blitz and why it’s playing so well with Democrats, and the author is neither a Trump fan or apologist (as is abundantly clear from the article itself.) It’s worth reading entire, but this quote stands out: 
“Misinformation is much more likely to stick when it conforms with people’s preexisting beliefs, especially those connected to social groups that they’re a part of,” says Arceneaux. “In politics, that plays out (usually) through partisanship: Republicans are much more likely to believe false information that confirms their worldview, and Democrats are likely to do the opposite.”
The article accurately compares the current phenomena to the entire “birther” movement on the right - it’s the exact same psychological phenomena, so unsurprisingly you see it manifesting with human beings on both sides of the spectrum. A lot of politics falls into that category, and it’s where most of that “political common ground” I keep talking about can be found. The difference is that the Left controls the lion’s share of the communication media and in turn, our culture. Hollywood - a cultural engine if there ever was one - is extremely left wing and has been since before McCarthy’s day. The modern telecommunications and internet media, which lives and breathes in Sillicon Valley, is likewise invested in the left wing; Erich Schmidt, chairman of Alphabet (Google’s parent company,) founded a PAC to give Hillary’s campaign IT support during the election, and we all remember how the CEO of Mozilla was hurled out of office because he dared to cast a private, anti-revolutionary vote. The next time you hear leftists talking about how “de-platforming” is legitimate, remember that the leftists literally own the fucking platforms. Nobody’s gonna find your conservative site if Google de-lists it. This is the problem - both sides have their lunatics willing to swallow any shit they’re being shoveled, but only one side has a massive megaphone that’s actively colluding - complete with sticky-handed twitter high-fives - to push the same narrative across the board, and cross-validate it. 
Hilariously, the Vox author (Kevin Drum) doesn’t see it, making the article a self-demonstrating one: 
Luckily for the Democratic Party, there isn’t really a pre-built media ecosystem for amplifying this like there was for Republicans. In the absence of left-wing Limbaughs and Breitbarts, media outlets totally unconcerned with factual rigor, it’s much harder for this stuff to become mainstream.
… except he does see it, because he goes on to name some examples (and some tweets) of people chugging the kool-aid… but all of them Democratic politicians or DNC staffers who should know better, not the media itself. He’s clearly intelligent and well-balanced, he’s standing in the middle of a bullshit cyclone he knows is bullshit, but he’s only just now starting to smell the rot and he hasn’t even noticed objective journalism’s decaying corpse yet, despite standing in its ribcage. If someone like him can be so stymied, how do you think That Guy - you know, [the bitter old man |the aging hippie creep] who always [ sits on his porch yelling at birds | shuffles around Trader Joe’s in grungy sandals comparing kale prices] and blames everything on [ dat gal-dern Mooslim Obongo | the military-industrial-jew-lizardman-complex] is going to react?
Some people do actually believe this shit and they are mostly Democrats - hell, here’s a Gallup poll with the numbers if you doubt my analysis. And to re-iterate, they’re inflaming extremists on both sides of the spectrum, because the more violence antifa commits, the more the Illinois Nazis will croon “see, we were right all along!” 
The traditional mass media engaging in this shit is much, much worse than the right-wing “alternative news ecosystem,” the blogs, the talk radio hosts, infogiggles, etc. They’re all personality-based and those personalities differ and disagree (if they didn’t, how would they offer content distinct from what the others offer?) This is natural, because conservatives argue. They argue a lot. It might surprise some of you given how often the media portrays the NRA as triple Satan, but there’s gun rights groups that exist specifically because some conservatives think the NRA is too wussy. You’ve got social conservatives, business/free market conservatives, REEE TAXES conservatives, etc., and they rarely see eye to eye. Ann Coulter - the Screeching Enchantress herself - once wrote that “Republicans can’t put together a two-car funeral without writing six books denouncing each other.” 
You don’t see this on the left - not in the media, at any rate. There’s more to this than just the obvious mainstream media collusion; the back-slapping and twitterwank, although their deliberate and conscious effort plays a huge part. There’s also how the left wing thinks. 
If you’re old enough to remember the Bush years, you’ll remember how often the left would attack Rush Limbaugh - even though an entire ecosystem of conservative, national talk-radio had sprung up by then, so he was no longer The One And Only Conservative Voice In Mass Media. Liberals treated - and attacked - him as the de facto leader of the right wing, and this puzzled conservatives no end, because a pundit, however clever, is not a goddamn politician or leader. 
The left wing, however, thinks differently. Unlike classical liberalism, which is mostly concerned with balancing the inherent rights of individuals with the rights of every other individual in a social contract, the leftists (communism/socialism/etc.) focus on the  collective as the central, essential point, and move from there. This is why “virtue signalling” exists; leftists care very much about what others think of them. Emmet Rensin’s essay on smugness in liberalism, which I’ve mentioned many times, showcases it well; while describing his subject, he also illustrated the mechanisms by which it manifests - left-wing culture. Everything he described - the virtue-signalling to others that you know the correct facts, the knowing, even the “Eye roll, crying emoji, forward to John Oliver for sick burns,“ exemplifies it. This Mother Jones writer’s reaction to his piece has a telling line: 
“I’ve long since gotten tired of the endless reposting of John Oliver’s "amazing,” “perfect,” “mic drop” destruction of whatever topic he takes on this week.”
They key here is John Oliver. When leftists look at Rush Limbaugh, they see a conservative John Oliver - in short, a demagogue. Demagogues and cults of personality have always been of prime importance with the left wing - remember how Obama was lionized by the left during his first campaign? To say nothing of the Kennedy’s being immortalized as “Camelot.” Yes, conservatives liked Reagan a whole lot, but we don’t vote in entire fucking royal dynasties, which is why Low-Energy Jeb is cooling his heels right now. And these demagogues, you’ll note, are all on the same page when it comes to ripping into conservatives… and their epic, wicked put-downs then become The Big Joke that the left wing retweets and reblogs and parrots to each other ad nauseum. Remember Tina Fey’s mockery of the only working mother leftists have ever despised? I’ve seen people on facebook quote “I can see Russia from my house” fully believing that Sarah Palin herself said it - the Tina Fey skit is the reality, for them. Truth is lost around the twentieth re-tweet, or so. 
And these “comedians” - in truth, pundits and opinion columnists - base their jokes on whatever quote-unquote “revelations” aired in the mainstream media’s news broadcasts that morning. 
If you’ve ever noticed how quickly a new catchphrase or word gets onto every leftist’s lips - like “fake news” - this is how it’s done. It’s not just the mass media moving in lockstep co-ordination to get the message out; it’s how the phrases become the newest “in-thing” with the entire leftist culture, that then get bandied about in the social sphere, on and off-line. After the cruise missile strike on Syria, I watched, on /pol/ alone, about thirty different varying interpretations, everything from “Assad and Putin are unironically heroes shove omfg I love facism Trump why u blow them up” to “I HOPE HE DROPS A MOAB ON RUSSIA NEXT FUCK THE REDS NUCLEAR WAR NOW” to a bunch of “he’s really playing 64 dimensional chess check this shit just you wait” that covered everything in-between. And that’s just on /pol/, which is so full of bullshit and jokes they literally made a fucking containment board for the containment board - called /bantz/. You don’t see this in the leftist blogosphere - the opinions all align the same way and vary only in magnitude of gibbering lunacy. And the John Oliver quotes don’t just define the conversation, they define the fucking language - for instance, “Drumpf.” 
Do not, for one second, think that the media doesn’t know how all this shit works. They may be delusional, but they don’t control and run vast media empires because they’re stupid. And a lot of them have been at this for a long, long time. 
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thefaeriereview · 4 years
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Blitz: Bad Apple
https://ift.tt/2ZFIYwT
RELEASE BLITZ 
Book Title: Bad Apple: A modern mpreg fairytale 
Author: Colbie Dunbar & Trisha Linde 
Cover Artist: Fantasia Frog Designs 
Release Date: September 17, 2020 
Genre/s: Contemporary M/M Romance, mpreg, reimagined fairy tale 
Trope/s: Forbidden love, bad boy romance. Fated love. 
Themes: Starting over. Second chances. 
Heat Rating: 4 flames 
Length: 36 000 words 
It’s the first book in the Once Upon an M/M Romance series, but each is a standalone. 
Goodreads 
Buy Links - Available in Kindle Unlimited 
Amazon US | Amazon UK
There’s no such thing as fairytales—until there’s a happily ever after.
Blurb There’s no such thing as fairytales—until there’s a happily ever after. When mob boss Nico Drakos dies, his son, omega Zane, knows the time is ripe for change. Just because all the mob’s business dealings have always been illegal, that doesn’t mean they need to stay that way. Zane is well-loved by everyone, and the council is ready to follow him wherever he might lead them. Time to put his business degree to work! The only person that stands in his way is his father’s second-in-command, Donovan Morelli. Alpha Blaze was practically raised by the mob, groomed and trained to follow orders, no matter how dark. But, seething with jealousy, Donovan gives Blaze a command. One he can’t refuse. While Blaze keeps a wary eye on Zane, he falls under the omega’s spell. Then the alpha does the unthinkable. He defies his order. Zane needs a safe place to hole up, but he doesn’t give a damn about his surroundings because the alpha everyone considers a bad apple lights a fire in his heart, one Zane is powerless to extinguish. With a memorable cast of supporting characters, this classic fairytale gets a modern mpreg twist. For fans of alphas and omegas who give everything to be with the one who they love, this first book in Colbie Dunbar and Trisha Linde’s Once Upon An M/M Romance series checks all the boxes. It includes an alpha and omega who refuse to be defined by their past; seven men and women with whimsical quirks whose fierce loyalty to Zane earns them a place in his heart; plus a baby who arrives safely, despite the odds. And while there is no once upon a time, they do live happily ever after.
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Excerpt 
Chapter 3 Zane I studied the man on my doorstep. He seemed kinda familiar and his scent washed over me, reminding me of coffee and something else I couldn’t pinpoint. Why? He smelt nothing like a good brew. One of Sam’s co-workers, I guessed. I was disappointed and hoped my favorite delivery man hadn’t been fired or taken another job because I didn’t fancy this creep on my doorstep every time I craved a taco or quesadilla. I made to grab the bag and hand over the tip, but the guy held on tight to the food. That’s my dinner! My right hand crept to my pocket as I asked, “Is there a problem?” He nodded and his muffled voice said, “Payment didn’t go through.” He shrugged. “Gremlins in the app.” Seriously? Gremlins? No hit man I’d ever met—and I hated that I’d made the acquaintance of more than one— ever talked like that. Tension released from my body as the guy held up his phone showing what I owed. “Okay. I’ll get the money.” I was searching for my wallet, tossing cushions across the room and swearing, when an aroma that commanded attention struck me in the face and had the hair on the back of my neck standing up. A pair of boots appeared in my line of vision, and I reared away. “Fuck me sideways with a broomstick!” The words exploded from my lips. I’d never seriously considered having someone order a hit on me, but faced with potential death, my pulse sped up and my mouth became dry. Seconds passed, but time stretched out and it seemed like hours. It was as though everything was moving in slow motion. The grandfather clock ticked in the corner and dust particles floated past my head as my trembling fingers reached for the gun. The intruder cocked his head. “Wouldn’t a broomstick be painful? Not a place you want to get a splinter. Ouch!” He put his hands on his hips. I froze. Who is this guy? Air whooshed out of my mouth and I took a moment to compose myself. “You scared me. What in the hell are you doing barging into my house?” “You said you’d get the money.” His voice was echoing in that stupid helmet. “You must be new. Or been raised by wolves.” Come to think of it, wolves would have taught him better manners. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” I rubbed my forehead, convinced I’d aged ten years in the last few minutes. “Nothing. But next time, wait at the door.” I shoved a fistful of bills in his palm and curled his fingers around them. And that was my first mistake. One of many. Skin to skin. My breath fogging his visor. The warmth of his hand seeped into mine and a tingling sensation spread over my body. I should have let go. I should have taken a step back. I should have shoved him out the door and complained to the restaurant owner about the lousy service. But I did none of those things. I didn’t move and neither did he. If this was his first day on the job, he might think all his customers held his hand. Poor guy. I pulled away and he made a strangled sound. It was hard to tell with that stupid helmet. “You okay?” If he was choking, I could give him mouth-to-mouth. He bobbed his head. “I’m Zane.” He mumbled something. “Hayes?” More gibberish. “Rays?” Were there two of them? Ray One and Ray Two? “No.” Okay, I heard that loud and clear. “Take off that thing, please. If you’re going to be bringing my dinner a couple of times a week, we should introduce ourselves.”
About the Authors
Colbie Dunbar
My characters are sexy, hot, adorable—and often filthy—alphas and omegas. Feudal lords with dark secrets, lonely omegas running away from their past, and alphas who refuse to commit.
Lurking in the background are kings, mafia dons, undercover agents and highwaymen with a naughty gleam in their eye.
As for me? I dictate my steamy stories with a glass of champagne in one hand. Because why not?
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Trisha Linde
Trisha Linde spends all her time immersed in books, both reading and writing, mainly because she lives where it's too cold to do anything else, and what better way to keep warm than a hot book. The first time she read mpreg, it was love at first sight, and there's no turning back now.
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