#turning off reblogs because I know in the wrong context this could look like “no one can ever criticize any art ever”

[good-to-drive]

I know it’s annoying as hell when someone won’t shut up about a piece of art when you know there are better examples of that genre or concept that they should be looking at, but there’s an alchemy that happens when someone connects with art that just can’t really be explained or explained away and you will literally always look like the asshole if you try to facts-and-logic someone out of knowing that they've experienced it

[howiscallmewhateveridctaken]

Lmfaooo what a week 😅

So a lot of people are, understandably, leaving the fandom. Drama like this always tends to put people off and unfortunately that affects the media they’ve come to love. I’m not going to be one of those people bc honestly, I don’t even know if I was ever that “in” the fandom in the first place to even leave it. My account isn’t and never was a nevermore account, yes I’ve made a few nevermore post but those were infrequent and amongst posts and reblogs of multiple other fandoms. I’m also in the discord server but I’ve only ever been a lurker, and usually only ever go in it when I want more context to something I’ve seen on tumblr. With that being said however, I still plan on reading nevermore when (or if) it continues because in THIS particular instance I can easily separate art from the artist and I’ll explain why in a moment.

Like I said I’m not and never have been very active in the fandom. I learned about this drama through a post from an account I follow and went through the server to find more context. I was not present through any of the actual conflicts but I’ve seen the conversations.

So why am I commenting on this?

Well mainly I want to make a point about para social relationships as well as moderation of servers and fandoms as a creator.

I just want to preface this by saying that after reading through all possible context, perspectives, takes and evidence I could find or come across, I genuinely don’t think red is necessarily a bad/morally wrong person. I DO however think she is in the wrong in this situation especially due to how she handled everything. As for how a lot of people are reacting to everything, there’s a couple of things I’d like to note:

From what I’ve seen, all of this is just one big thing of “he said/she said” and pointing fingers as well as just picking sides. If your absolutely distraught because red didn’t turn out to be the person you thought they were simply because she said things you didn’t like, I understand the disappointment and frustration but please remember that content creators in general aren’t your friends. You don’t know these people, they just do things you happen to like. Now I’m not saying you SHOULDN’T feel upset about it, it’s ok to and you even should if it’s an issue to you feel strongly about but please keep in mind that this isn’t a “sign of their true colors” or anything because you don’t know what they were actually like to begin with. Ofc I don’t mean that to say “expect the worst from people” but more as a reminder that can hopefully help you to look at the situation more critically and logically before jumping in guns blazing. It’s understandable if it affects you emotionally, you were emotionally invested in their work; but please realize this before you let it get to that point. Now on the other side of the coin, there’s the people who I feel as though will just pick the creators side simply because they’re fanboys and will stand by them no matter what. I’m DEFINITELY NOT saying that’s what everyone who’s on red side is, but naturally there’s bound to be a few that are going to dickride for the sake of dickriding. Regardless, there’s a lack of willingness to listen and understand from both sides (at least from what I’ve noticed) and that’s a problem because when no one wants to listen then what’s supposed to be a community coming together to resolve an issue just turns into a giant flame war. Also this should go without saying, but at least give the mods a chance. They obviously handled the whole situation horrendously but they aren’t going to do their jobs any better when they’ve got people coming at them with pitchforks.

Speaking of the moderators. I genuinely can’t wrap my head around how red and the other mods have managed to fumble this badly…….like it’s almost funny. All said and done they all had ONE very simple job and they blew it. Although I very much disagree with it, I do understand red’s decision to unban crimson. They wanted to give them a second chance, sure whatever. What I DONT GET is why would they not at the very least check to see if anyone else would be comfortable with a decision that would possibly affect them or even impact their safety. At the very least a warning to or a discussion with the victims would have been something. Not only that but even after they unban them, once red saw the NUMEROUS amount of people that were upset about it they, they should have immediately banned them again and then apologize after instead of some rushed explanation. But I get it stress gets the better of you. I understand their desire to keep things as transparent as possible (which i appreciate and I’m sure so do many others) but from that first apology/explanation it felt more like red trying to shake responsibility off themselves and pointing fingers in the guise of being transparent. I did see where red was trying to get at in her first statement, but there was also things that she honestly should have just had the foresight to realize wouldn’t put her in a better light, and this is aside from the victim blaming-esque wording. red basically says that she felt like a group of people (including Laci the one who reported crimson) were just out to get crimson, which is absolutely insane but then again it’s the internet so who knows. However it’s super clear that Laci obviously wasn’t lying bc the things she accused crimson of did in fact happen. So even bringing that up was enough for me to raise my eyebrow at but I digress. Then red practically says it was hard to handle the situation bc the evidence provided was censored, but Laci literally offered to give the uncensored versions so that was completely disingenuous on red’s part at best. To me it just seemed like the mods were looking for excuses for what could be there own laziness at best and negligence at worst. Their biggest fault so far is not being very good at actually listening to their audience and taking them into consideration. She also brought up that fact that Laci was apparently the only person to report crimson which I did not like to say the least. One of the victims confided in Laci and Laci brought it forward. I understand reds suspicions about Laci not being in the actual server where it happened but how are you going to immediately jump to “well why did no one else bring it up” instead of stopping for a sec and thinking “ hm clearly these victims feel uncomfortable stepping forward”. Which they had to do now anyway because of how bad the issue became. They should not have had to do that. Better it be just one person reporting, even if it’s someone you don’t like, than no one reporting and the issue persists under the radar.

And then there’s red’s formal apology…

First off, girl why are you dropping names??? A bunch of who are supposedly minors? Like let’s be so fucking for real right now😭

And then the audacity to be like “please don’t go after or dm these people” like babes if you were genuinely worried about them you wouldn’t have used their names at all. ESPECIALLY when in the end it was completely irrelevant and borderline inappropriate since it really had nothing to do with crimson, their actions or how you handled them. Not to mention the act of calling them “cliques” when literally all they were was side servers. Like if they’re cliques then what does that make red and everyone who’s on her side? It was very clearly just a biased reaction to people saying things she doesn’t like about her, which by all means she has the right to respond to but not in a way that is clearly trying to sway how everyone else sees them. The way red describes everything is as if it’s middle school drama and then proceeds to play directly into it. Don’t get me wrong her apology was fine, when she was ACTUALLY apologizing. Everything else felt like a last ditch effort to drag others under the bus with her. It was lowkey embarrassing to say the least.

Again, it’s important that I make it clear that I don’t believe red is a bad person. I just think she’s an immature person, or at least she is in how she handled everything and continues to handle it bc like I said I don’t know her, and don’t care to frankly. I didn’t start reading nevermore to be buddy buddy with her. Like if we look at the grand scope of things, this is a grown woman beefing with kids. Obviously they aren’t all kids, most of them aren’t I believe but she’s practically stooping down to school yard conflict in how she’s responded so far. Especially at one point in the server when she was being called out and jumped to “yeah I guess I’m the bad guy and totally evil. You all should hate me”. Like actually cut that shit out, what are you doing. I mean honestly.

And my final point because I’ve ranted long enough. I mentioned before that in this instance I am willing to separate the art from the artist, I stand by that because I genuinely do think this is a situation where red could hopefully grow from this and rectify things. The actual unbanning was a stupid and inconsiderate move on her part, but I don’t think she meant any ill-will or had any malicious intent. I disagree with the people calling her a r@pe apologist because that’s honestly just a huge reach. I’ve also seen some accusations of red and/or Flynn being racist, promoting inappropriate art knowing there’s minors around and from what I’ve seen it’s pretty iffy. Regarding the racism, I don’t believe that they are. Their characterizations of the characters regarding their ethnicities IS stereotypical and was obviously just very surface level research into those respective cultures but I chopped that up to ignorance rather than racism. As a woc I was frankly just relived they didn’t make the poc characters centered on some kind of discrimination or tragedy from their era, which yes is something that shouldn’t be ignored but also I don’t know if rednflynn could accurately and more importantly, respectfully portray those types of issues. Nor is it even their place tbh. With that being said however I don’t belong to most of the cultures the characters belong to. To me it never seemed like they were making a caricature out of these cultures, especially since their ethnicities are barely relevant to their stories anyway but I acknowledge that it’s not my place to deem what’s offensive or not.

As for the promoting inappropriate art of the characters and creating some themselves. Yeah they do. I’ve never been shocked about that nor did I think it was something that they are wrong for doing, I mean it’s their own work. Granted I didn’t realize how many minors were in the fandom but that’s literally every fandom, there’s only so much you could do about it. I don’t know if nevermore has a rating but it’s not like it was something ever promoted to be kid friendly, it’s obvious that some scenes are just straight up fan service. While I personally don’t like fan service it never was enough to impact the story so I personally never saw an issue. But point is I don’t think they should have to monitor what is and isn’t appropriate for minors but things get tricky when they have a server where they are clearly aware of minors.

And then there’s other things like people accusing them of promoting SA or some shit like that bc of a lot of stuff involving Montessor which frankly, that’s just a media literacy issue on the readers part. So yeah with that being said I don’t think red is a bad person, although I understand why a lot of people are done with them which is completely fair. I’m pretty much in a grey area about it, who knows if they end up getting in an even bigger scandal, hopefully they come out better from this but only time will tell. The best/smartest thing red has said throughout this entire debacle was that they’re taking a step back from the fandom. I think it’ll be good for everyone, especially them. It seems like it’ll take stress off them anyway. Plus the hole they’ve dug for themselves is already halfway to china by now so there’s that

[starglitterz]

serendipity. (vii)

─── chapter 7 ! ~ my bff thinks she’s sherlock holmes (…what?)

summary; when you, a waitress at the local coffee shop, are paired up with the new recruit scaramouche, you’re pretty sure both of you are going to get fired within a week. he’s just quit being a social media influencer and after being forced to work here to make ends meet, he’s ready to let everyone there know how much he hates it. the worst part? you can’t shake the feeling that you know him from somewhere. but as he slowly warms up to you, scaramouche realises that having a fresh start isn’t that bad after all, and perhaps the two of you meeting like this was pure serendipity.

a/n; hiii it's me again ! i'm so back >:) hope you missed serendipity bc i definitely did hehehe,,, also for further context on some details mentioned in this chapter, you should totally read cynosure 👀 (shameless self-promo LOL) anyways i hope u enjoy this chapter !!

warning(s); a lot of swearing, scuffed pics 😔

previous.┃masterlist.┃next.

please reblog w comments ! it helps a lot :)

private messages #1 !

phone call !

incoming call from kokomi at 1.30 p.m.

kokomi: hi, y/n! it's your lunch break now, right?

y/n: yep! i'm surprised you remember.

kokomi: hey! i just visited you the other day, my memory isn't that bad!!

y/n: yeah, yeah, whatever you say. anyways, what did you want to tell me? it sounded important.

kokomi: well… you know how we met childe and signora the other day, right?

y/n: yeah, i could barely believe they knew scara. i mean, this is the same guy who complains about the stray cats making a mess outside the cafe but still leaves leftovers for them. i wouldn't have expected him to have such famous friends.

kokomi: me too. and i actually wanted to talk to you about that.

y/n: why, what is it?

kokomi: i was curious about how scaramouche knew them, so i asked gorou to do a little digging.

y/n: what? kokomi, why would you do that?

kokomi: this guy shows up out of nowhere and ayaka hires him, and it turns out he has friends in such high places? it's suspicious!

y/n: what the fuck, kokomi? what's gotten into you? this is my colleague we're talking about. he's literally just some random guy ayaka hired, why do his friends matter? it's not like they're bad people!

kokomi: they might not be, but he is.

y/n: and what's that supposed to mean?

kokomi: check the link i just sent you.

y/n: fuck off, kokomi. i'm not dealing with this today. what's wrong with you?

kokomi: y/n, please just click it. i really think you need to see this.

you click on the link kokomi sent you - it's a youtube video titled 'the rise & fall of scaramouche'. you watch it in silence with kokomi still on the phone.

kokomi: you see? he was a drama youtuber and he got clout off of ruining other people's lives - he even got fired from genshin impact! when genshin threatened a lawsuit, he agreed to settle privately by deleting all his accounts. genshin must have paid to scrub all the traces of him they could from the internet too. i knew there was something fishy about him!

y/n: honestly, fuck you, kokomi.

kokomi: what?! why me?!

y/n: because who cares what his past was like? yeah, maybe he used to be a shitty person, and yeah he's still a pain in my ass, but he's changing. scara hasn't done anything bad since he started working here, i don't know why you're so against him.

kokomi: i just don't want you to get hurt, y/n. we all know you're still looking for that mystery guy from when you were younger, and this is the first time you've liked someone without mentioning that. i'm worried he's taking advantage of you.

y/n: get a grip, kokomi. i'm a grown adult, and you're not my mother. i can make my own choices and deal with the consequences.

kokomi: well forgive me for being worried about my FRIEND.

y/n: just… leave me alone. goodbye, kokomi.

call cut from y/n's end at 2.17 p.m.

private messages #2 !

twitter !

i'm curious, what do u guys think abt what kokomi did? are you on her side or y/n's side? i've personally experienced a lot of friends getting defensive whenever you point out anything wrong with their rs/bf so i guess this is partially inspired by that LOL

© starglitterz 2024. do not repost or modify in any way.

[ayoharuko]

Haiwo ! I see your request are open !

You can ignore this if this is too much for you, I don't mind fufu~

As for the request, hm..

Fluff with Shu? Context.. how about clingy shu? If not, how about clingy ver/hex? Fufu~

Your choice if you want to do all or just one of them it's okay too ! If you're actually doing this request, thank you so much !~

Hellooo! Thank you so much for the request, I'm a big fan btw hehehehe~

Anyways, I'll be doing all of them because me love all of them~

Reader here will be gender neutral and this will be in the form of a min scenario, I hope you enjoyed this! :3

REMINDER: Please know that I'm only writing about their persona’s and not the people thats behind them! This is also a work of fiction so please try not to take this too seriously :)

''Jagiyaa~, notice me~'' Ver said as he clings to your side.

Currently, you were doing some work for your upcoming streams and it seemed like your boyfriend. Ver, had finished with his own work and is now bugging you.....

Now...you thought his antics were quite cute but....

It was starting to get annoying

''Babe...sorry but I gotta finish this....I'll be done in a few minutes'' You said, removing Ver's hands on your arm to focus on the task at hand.

Ver sighs and gets up from his spot, and you heard your office door close, so you assumed that he had left. You crack a smile and continued on doing your worked until......

You were suddenly carried off your chair!

''V-Ver! What are you doing!?'' You yelled at your boyfriend who just chuckles at your reaction.

He put you down on your shared bed and wrapped his arms around you, ''Ver.....I have work to finish...'' You said sighing, ''Nu....Yeobo you need a break'' He responds snuggling his head on your neck.

Your Kaichou was so cute for doing this that your eyes were actually starting to droop down slightly.......

''Hey....I'm getting sleepy so you better let go..of......me'' You trailed off as you finally drift off to a deep slumber.

Ver knew you were tired, I mean the dark circles under your eyes are proof, and good thing his plan: Forcing you to take a rest. Worked!

''Salanghae nae salang~''

Your boyfriend was the type that didn't wanna brother you with his own needs, so it was hard for you to read him due to the fact he was often stoic and monotone.

But you knew something was wrong when Hex started being more clingy than usual.....

I mean....yea you found it cute but it was just so.....out of character for him.....

Right now, you had Hex hugging you from behind while you are prepping dinner, he was so quiet that you din't really mind, but it was hard moving around with a huge body behind me ahahahaha~

''Honey, could you pass me the salt?'' You ask your boyfriend, he hums and passes the salt to you.

''Is there....any reason on why your being so cling today Mr.Hex?'' You ask in a teasing way, Hex berries his head dipper onto your neck blushing

''I....I just missed you..'' He responds with his honey filled voice, you chuckle at this and turn around in hi arms to look at him, and you surprised to see him flustered.....

My, his so cute~

You put your hand on his cheek and he leans into it sighing, ''I...I've had so much work to do that lately we don't get to spend as much time together unlike before'' He said as he looks at you with his beautiful golden green eyes.

You smile at this and lean up to kiss Hex and he did the same as well, and when your lips touched you both got so lost in the moment that dinner had to wait~

Lets just say your entire night was passionate and filled with love~

Shu Yamino respects you a lot, enough that he puts your own needs above his sometimes. But today, he choose to follow his needs.

By following you around like a puppy

''Shu....babe....you don't have to follow me to the bathroom ya know..'' You said looking at your sorcerer of a boyfriend who just chuckles nervously at your words.

''Sorry....'' He saids and you shake your head and do your business inside the bathroom as Shu waits in your shared living room.

After your bathroom break, you come to the living room and find Shu waiting for you patiently......

You smile and sat beside him at the couch, ''Soo what do you wanna watch?'' You ask him, ''Anythings fine'' He responds and you nod, putting on a romance-type movie.

An hour had passed and Shu had fallen asleep in your arms, his face looked so peaceful yet so cute~

You took a couple of pictures and than tried to wake him up, ''Shubert~, come on. Lets change to the bedroom'' You said slowly shaking him.

Your sorcerer boyfriend just grumbles and wraps his arms even more tighter around you.....

Ah....he doesn't wanna let go

''Babee, we'll wake up sore tomorrow....'' You said trying to reason with the sorcerer but he still wouldn't move.....

After a few minutes of you trying to wake him up, you finally gave up and cuddled beside him trying to be more comfortable.

You soon drift off to sleep and Shu opens his eyes while smiling and kissing your forehead while whispering something in Japanese to you.

''Ai shiteru, watashi no kokoro~''

Done!~

Tysm for the request! I enjoyed doing it :3, I hope that you loved it~

Btw Ver's and Hex's headers were made by me, Shu as well ofc~

Thanks for the request again and see you all on my next post!~

Korean words spoken by Ver: Jagiya(Baby), Yeobo(Honey or Darling) and Salanghae nae salang(I love you, my love)

Japanese by Shu: Ai shiteru, watashi no kokoro(I love you, my heart)

Please tell me if I got the translations wrong, I will gladly correct it.

Reblogs are appreciated and Feedback/Comments are always appreciated! :3

(Note: please don't copy and paste my works anywhere, and if you do see them on other platform please inform me.)

[ashsostrange]

"averagegirlie" is just "xxoxobree", formerly known as "breeandhermunches" on a burner. newsflash, your "fav" miles writer isn't who you think she is!

ik a lot of us must be VERY confused so let me help you out. @/averagegirlie and @/xxoxobree are the same mfkn person! why did bree make this account? i assume that it's so she could fend for herself and keep the "unbothered" act up on her main page. that's why she deletes all her reblogs after arguing w someone then comes over to this account to start bsing. not to mention she can say extremely problematic things with no repercussions, because she doesn't have a following on that page + it's not tied to her.. at least it wasn't before! bree's a very messy liar. i peeped the truth so lemme share it w y'all.

bree if you're seeing this, go take a couple shots before you read. you should've kept it cute but you didn't, so let's get nasty mf.

i have receipts! let's start right here cz i find this the funniest:

nobody but her spells "internet" like that... this is one of the many examples of the two accounts talking alike, even though bree said she wouldn't refer to "yao" as a friend when the whole rashad thing was going down. yesterday, i reminded yao of that. she said "i like bree, so what" but she deleted that and changed it to "when are y'all gonna catch on to the fact that we talk?" mhm.. bree's a lil confused, but next!

y'all see "yao's" tag? telling alexa to play some bs... then y'all see bree?? NEXT!

go look on miss average's page. she only comes online to defend and ride the hell out of bree's dick. remember ts w amani? why are you going so hard for someone who says they dk you like that LMFAO. not to mention, when the rashad shit was happening, bree said "this my girl and she never been wrong" but then she turns around and says "i wouldn't say we're friends" WHICH ONE IS IT MISS MUNCH??! 😭🤣🤣 next!

why we praising tf out of bree's oc? ts was ai bro. we got a self supafan. next...

look at this smart anon, putting tg the pieces and shit. "ash and dalia fight your battles every time" is literally.. a lie. what battles are we referring to? talia's never in drama as much as you're implying. and ima ride for my friends anyway, tf? but my entire blog will never be centered around ONE human being. it ain't that serious ever. "yao" and bree need hobbies cz writing obv ain't doing it for her. next.

bree has also said she's messy lol. she likes drama. hm!

look at how she came on her white horse when bree was battling the great war w anons over miles morales smut (which i don't fw, js to be clear.) who summoned her? BREE LMFAIOFHDGFKJAS... NEXT!!!

here's miss xxoxo munches being ableist, much like her alter ego. bro went silent and blocked lia after this. now let's get into miss average again.

look at this bs. ion even gotta say much.. this girl is black & not chinese!! y'all should know why this is weird. here's the "evidence" she gave me btw:

here's me proving her wrong! she tried! next.

y'all see the way they're tagging their posts w their usernames? mhm.. ik you do.

HMMM....

these are both bree. i don't mean to bring up maye again, but i have to for context. what happened wasn't js "drama"... the things she said to dalia were racist + that post she was lyin' about lia in. she also liked the post.. dead giveaway you silly bitch! 🥱 nd she was also instigating in honey's inbox. i know her typing style and her emoji colors lol. it's common sense atp. it's not hard to tell when an anon is bree. and from what i'm seeing not even maye is fw her.. LMFAISAIDHSAY GIRL YOU'RE DONE! 😭 feel free to go thru their accs, you'll see ts too. she's funny asf for this, i'll give her that and that only. i've never laughed so much in under 24 hours. 💓

in conclusion, bree is messy, bored, insecure, ableist & miserable! she thought nobody would ever find out but here we are today. she fronts not gaf but then switches to this acc to let off some serious steam... as miss freeman once said: "Alexa, play yikes!"

but bless bree 💗 maybe if you change now, you'll still be able to collect your tokens like dalia says.

[eggonthemoon]

I don’t fully agree with this anymore, but I did feel this at the time of writing and I’ll keep it up as a post I can look back on (check reblog on further context to my change in opinion)

Alright…I’m gonna say it. This is actually something I’m saying mostly to myself. Don’t know how popular of an opinion this is but anyways…

If you’re planning to write off PM completely because of their controversy because you have decided this issue hits too close to home,

That’s completely okay!!

If you decide to write off PM completely because it doesn’t feel the same anymore after the controversy,

That’s also completely valid! More than understandable!!

If you plan to write off PM completely only because they’ve done something controversial,

That’s where you’ve lost me.

Because literally everything companies and corporations touch has some kind of unethical practice behind it.

If it’s not the employees, it’s the higher ups.

If it’s not the higher ups it’s the system.

And the system was made by a capitalist society.

“There is no ethical consumption under capitalism”

Wasn’t that the entire theme behind Canto IV?

Anyways my point is:

If you don’t have a reason beyond the controversy then it just feel’s entirely performative to me.

If it’s only about if something is right or wrong then how do you decide that?

Even if you’re right about this situation, how many other controversies are you choosing to turn a blind eye to because ‘if you choose to acknowledge it, you’ll be admitting to liking something problematic thus making you a hypocrite’

What I mean to say is, if you don’t really have a reason outside of that then what are you even doing? Aren’t you just being outraged for the sake of being outraged then?

Anyways I’ve decided having to constantly monitor if the things I enjoy come from a problematic source and cutting them off is just too exhausting and paralyzing for me.

I don’t really have any anger left in me and it seems Jihoon is (at least I’m hoping) being more honest about the situation, even if there are some contradictions.

I was mad because I felt betrayed (silly I know, even if it’s a small company, companies will be companies) by a company I thought was unshakable in their beliefs.

But now the water feels so muddled that I’m not even sure what it was that happened (I still don’t know if Vellmori was fired or willingly resigned)

I don’t want to accidentally spread the wrong narrative (hence me deleting most of my posts surrounding the controversy)

This was just a bunch of word vomit that I’ll probably delete later but I felt like getting my thoughts out there and seeing what other’s perspective is could help me gain some perspective of my own

[chipped-chimera]

I enter the cyberpunk 2077 tag. I see a post about the game not being 'punk' because of all the triple A gaming company typical shit 'means it's not punk'. I roll my eyes so hard I exit the tag.

Points, context, rebuttal, whatever beloooow (I am not reblogging post because I don't want to attract hate to OP, but I am writing this cause I'm sick of seeing it).

Yeah triple A dev treatment fucking sucks. It sucks CDPR vowed to do different and didn't but that is missing a bunch of context. Here comes the context -

I've been following CDPR since about 2010-ish. They've always held onto older era gaming attitudes and respect their consumers. I guess in a way they were still made for an older era around the Cyberpunk release for the following reasons.

They shot themselves in the foot with their own marketing. Hiring a big name may have done that. If you look at the teaser trailer for Cyberpunk 2077 on announcement it basically says release date wise 'its done when it's done'. Being part of that older era they want to put out a COMPLETE game. Well tested. They came from a time where game updates were a LUXURY and that's why I trusted them to release a good product.

Marketing however got so big that it exited the realm of core fans and into the general public (derogatory). When they announced another delay, I was chill. I trusted them. Shit takes time man, whatever it takes to make it good AND treat your employees well bro. General public however was out for blood, sending death threats, pulling preorders.

There's this fine line you have to tread in marketing. Too little hype, no one knows about your product. Too much hype, you skyrocket expectations. Hype at the wrong time - you end up peaking at the wrong moment and end up losing momentum for release. You can see the conundrum here. They were arguably in the skyrocketed expectations and the losing momentum risk region.

So they did crunch time for release. In a way they had to. I mean sure they could have been 'punk' like OP suggested and said fuck you to the non-core fanbase but unfortunately punk doesn't pay bills. It doesn't keep the lights on. It doesn't keep your employees employed. It doesn't stop them from getting sent death threats for a delay.

So they rushed it out, it bombed. That sucked BUT it brought them peace. Because while everyone was making fun of them and quickly forgetting about it to go laugh at the next bomb of the month - it meant they could actually get onto fixing/finishing their game because people like ME knew them. It wouldn't be left as is. Also let them work at a less insane pace.

I started playing it (I finally had a PC that could handle it) right before the Edgerunners release and the public reboot. It was a fucking. Solid. Game. I studied game design and if I didn't get sick and had to stop this game would have been my goddamn final paper. There are so many good choices narratively and mechanically to the point you can't separate the two. It was everything I expected.

They worked hard to get there. We currently live in an era where entertainment is treated like fast food and people can be fucking incoherent when they're told to have patience. Why do you think so many games release in a scuffed state? Why do you think this new 'redemption arc' story in the game industry has become increasingly common? Because Devs keep getting sent DEATH THREATS just for doing work. That's fucking insane. No wonder they're working overtime and sleeping at the office because the general public has turned gamedev into an industry that basically uses psychological torture as a whip to get your game out 'on time'.

Yes there are absolutely horrible triple A gamedev companies, usually under the stable of a larger company (EA, Activision etc. take your pick) but CDPR ain't that. In my eyes their hand was forced.

You know what is punk? Going with a little, 'unpopular' (basically not DnD) ttrpg written by a black man and building a new IP and experience from it - AND having him on board and getting his active input during development. Because dear lord current media in general seems to be allergic to taking risks and new IPs.

You know what else is punk? Releasing free DLC updates that would be a micro transaction otherwise (no I am not talking about Phantom Liberty and I argue that's an 'expansion' though I guess no one uses that word now) and putting the goddamn pdf of the ttrpg handbook they based it off with the game download. Putting stickers in physical releases (going by my witcher experience), giving you goddamn HIGH RESOLUTION IMAGES of in game posters to print for yourself FOR. FREE. No one DOES THAT anymore.

Also arguably putting out Cyberpunk is punk just in the narrative it tells in the goddamn first place - especially in the current climate, but I think I've made my point here.

Also my last point, in big letters because it's driving me fucking insane:

CYBERPUNK. IS. A. GENRE. A GENRE. THEY DID NOT INVENT CYBERPUNK. BLADE RUNNER. NEUROMANCER. ALTERED CARBON. IT'S A GENRE. THE PUNK ELEMENT IS IN THE NARRATIVE. IT'S NOT SOME KIND OF 'STATEMENT' ABOUT THEMSELVES, IT'S A GENRE AND ALSO THE LITERAL TITLE OF THE TTRPG THE THING WAS BASED OFF IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Anyway I'm sick of seeing CDPR being thrown under the bus and being treated in ways that will actively end up affecting future development. I really, really hope they haven't been too affected but if they end up feeling forced into modern day gamedev cycles and all the bullshit that goes with it ... well I know why.

And it starts with people who spout shit like this.

[quicktimeeventfull]

hello everyone i am posting a preview of my kpop au -- an in-universe callout for one light yagami. rainfalls50 is L. (eight god is the alternate & more common kanji spelling of 'yagami'; 50 is the roman character for L)

ifyoubloom

ok i hesitated on writing about this for a while because i knew people would be mad but someone needs to say something. @/eighthgod/light is one of the most toxic people in the entire fandom. yes this is a callout post in 2023 but it needs to be done. problems with eighthgod: - he is an akage. no, not just a solo stan, he REGULARLY posts about how he thinks other members are untalented or ugly and how they should be kicked out of the group and he even celebrated when A had to go on mental health leave in 2021 because ‘they could have more time to focus on beyond.’ YES beyond gets sidelined sure but thats still no excuse to be negative about other members - tags hate - posted ‘kys’ when people tried to explain CALMLY to him about how his behaviour was causing hurt - toxic judgement about beyond and misa dating, idols are allowed to have private lives, they give so much to us and its not our place to say what they do in their personal life - accused of running a group order and switching the photocards so he could get the beyond photocards. this was not proven but there’s a lot of evidence - has had a harassment campaign against @/rainfalls50 for more than a year. you can look through his twitter or tumblr and see this, he posts negative things about him and reblogs his posts to add hate hate and makes up lies about him. rainfalls has a lot of hate anons and hate comments on ao3 because of this. its weird and could be a sign of a bigger problem. but he still uses his translations which is hypocritical  - a lot of people have shown evidence he’s lying about being a lawyer, this is not proven either but there are a lot of contradictions there’s a lot of other things too but these are just the major ones. i blocked him so he won’t see this PLEASE don’t screenshot. do not harass him. just block and ignore. i know people are going to be angry because ‘he’s joking’ or ‘he’s mentally ill’ but its not a joke if it’s causing stress and harm and mentally ill people are still responsible for their actions. i won’t tell people what they should do but he has shown AGAIN AND AGAIN he does not care about the effects of his actions. just because he’s a big account and posts good analysis doesn’t mean he’s a safe person to trust

regardingreaper

isn’t rainfalls an akage too though

ifyoubloom

no people just say that because he made a few vent posts that were taken out of context plus even if he is it’s still wrong to harass him. and if you read the rest of post you will know it’s not just his harassment of rain that’s the problem, he harasses other people too and is problematic in other ways 

yoxingisthighs

op is a beyond/A shipper btw

ifyoubloom

SO WHAT IF I AM how does that change anything??? and it’s not like they’re going to see it????? anyway the company encourages it i’m pretty sure they wouldn’t hold each others hands and FAKE KISS if they cared that much. everyone on this post is so obsessed with shipping and ‘rain is an akage’ when eighthgod is SCAMMING PEOPLE AND TYPING KYS. i’m turning off reblogs this whole post was a mistake sometimes im embarrassed to be associated with any of you

[bioethicists]

Your post about unfollowing people who’re really combative online made me think about someone in particular. Apologies if this is out of nowhere so feel free to ignore.

If somebody (with thousands of followers) who isn’t a part of a specific marginalised group habitually seeks out bad takes regarding them to dunk on, isn’t that a little weird? I’m not talking about defending your friends when they’re facing discrimination or dunking on the main bigot character of the day, but regularly seeking out bad takes from small accounts that’d otherwise never seen the light of day.

It’s nobody on here I’m referencing. I feel a little crazy because this person gets heralded as a huge ally and has a lot of people in this marginalised group who’re really devoted to and defensive of them but it just really rubs me the wrong way because they seem really discourse-brained more than anything else.

yeah haha ironically i think some of the ppl on that post are seriously missing the point (which i probably could have made clearer) in terms of some of them are like. people who clearly think being told they're racist is the same as the type of behavior i'm talking about.

but also yes! this is more what i meant- people who are seeking out fights with those who would otherwise never get any attention! especially when it's takes that are NOT popular or the response is just totally disproportionate. or just building a social media brand off of over-exaggerated hatred/meanness towards people who "deserve it". it reminds me of all the cis people on here who constantly reblog shit about like... putting terfs in meat grinders but then never even lift a finger (or, more likely, are part of the mob) when trans women are sexually harassed or viciously bullied.

i don't think joking about harming bigots is some grand moral wrong, but it's often just gratuitous in a way where... are you actually expressing outrage or are you using the performance of outrage to get followers? what if that outrage is directly putting people in danger (e.g, if you find a terf with 45 followers + start sending her death threats, is that helping anyone or is it potentially provoking more violence, which you know full well you will NOT be the primary target of). i can see how this behavior can result in members of certain groups defending you, because if nobody has shown their willingness to defend you, isn't it refreshing to see someone who will? it's not so simple, either, cuz i do think ppl who do this do CARE, but i'm not sure the way that they care is sustainable or would hold up to a real, complex situation where allyship is needed.

it's so contextual + i'm not arrogant enough to pretend like i'm the one who can see the context right 100% of the time. this is a little sappy but i feel like the difference is whether the root of the anger is love/hope or if its fulfilling your own desire to lash out/release tension/look good. like "i'm pissed because i care about my trans siblings + it hurts me to see them treated this way + nobody else is saying shit for them so i'm stepping up" vs "raging online meets a need in me that i'm not willing to acknowledge + here's the perfect target". not exactly that simple but sometimes u can tell someone would be a kiwifarms bro if they didn't need social capital from a different crowd, ykwim (which btw we regularly learn that certain leftists will comb through + disseminate kiwifarms shit if it fits their vibe, which is an automatic red flag to me that you only care about drama, not morals)

it reminds me of how some "callouts" are clearly written with the intention of preventing harmful people from maintaining the power to do more harm (e.g x popular artist sexts underage fans) while many others are clearly written with glee about someone turning out to be Bad (e.g x popular artist has a private twitter that i, op, SCROUNGED to find, where they say horny things about genshin impact characters)

[basket-of-cats-and-witches]

Dress

The amount of brainrot I have around this game is unreal. That being said, I wanted to write something playful and light while I work on my longer WIPs (which is...hm. Certainly a way to procrastinate).

This time it's Caleb x Kit, from before their eventual complicated break-up and Kit ending up with Sylus. I just wanted to explore what it looked like, especially if the rumor is true and we'll be getting Caleb as another LI at some point. (You don't need context to read this fic, although Grief is a fun angsty read.)

If so, that'll be some tasty angst.

A reminder that Kit is NOT the MC, although Kiri (mentioned in this fic) is.

If you liked this or just wanna support a writer, please feel free to like or reblog! It lets me know people like what I'm doing and encourages me to keep writing!

✈️🐈‍⬛✈️🐈‍⬛

“Alright, get up.”

Caleb didn't look up at the sudden voice, carefully marking which questions he'd gotten wrong. “I have to study, Kit. My exam is less than a week out.”

There was an audible huff behind him. “And I get that, but you've been locked in here for three days. Even your grandmother is worried. It's time to take a break.”

Caleb set the pen down, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “It hasn't been that long,” he said tiredly, turning around. “I just have to finish a few more…questions…”

He trailed off at the sight before him. Kit shifted nervously in front of him, tugging at the hem of her outfit. She was a vision in pink and white, the off-the-shoulder collar baring her soft skin.

“Are you…” his voice faltered for a second. Clearing his throat, he pushed through. “Are you wearing a dress? Voluntarily?”

Kit’s face reddened. “It's part of the incentive,” she mumbled. “We have tickets to the amusement park nearby.”

Caleb stood up, his studying completely forgotten. “No.”

“No?” Kit looked at him, bewildered. “I- Your grandmother bought the tickets, Cay. If you don't want to, you get to be the one to tell her.”

He walked towards her, crowding her space until she was pressed up against his bedroom door. The blush was beginning to spread up to her ears and down her neck.

Kit looked up at him with wide eyes, her lips parted. “Cay…leb?”

“Shh.” He looked her over with a slowly spreading smile. “I'm admiring my gift. Did you pick this out yourself? I didn't think you liked pink.”

“Um…your sister helped me a little. I wanted it in blue because that's your favorite color, but someone bought it right before I could.” Kit couldn't tear her gaze away from his, especially as he caged her in with a forearm above her head. “D-do you like it?”

Caleb nodded, leaning in. “Mmhm. But I don't think I want anyone else but me to see you like this. They'll want to try and steal you away.” His lips brushed against the shell of her ear, and she shivered.

“My little Kitty-cat,” he purred, a hand settling on her waist. His palm was like a brand, the heat of it seeping through her thin dress to her skin. “Let's stay in.”

Someone banged on the door, making Kit jump and squeak in surprise.

“Hey dumbass! Grandma wants picture evidence of you two at the park, so stop trying to bang your girlfriend!” Kiri’s voice came through loud and clear.

Kit covered her face, mortified. “We'll be out in a moment, Kiki,” she said, her voice strangled.

“I'm gonna set a timer,” Caleb’s little sister said warningly. “And if you're not out and downstairs in five minutes, I'm picking the lock and barging in there! Even if I have to bleach my eyes afterwards!”

“When did she learn to pick a lock?” Caleb muttered.

Kit smiled sheepishly. “I might have taught her. It came in handy when I lived in the Vagrant's Quarter.”

He sighed. “You've created a demon, is what you've done.” Glancing towards the door, he called out, “Don't worry, Pipsqueak. We'll be down by then.”

“You better!” Came the reply, followed by fading footsteps.

For a moment, all was quiet in the room. Caleb didn't move from his spot, causing Kit to look up at him curiously. His hair was slightly mussed, dark circles under his eyes. She wondered when the last time he'd eaten was.

Then, the full force of his gaze returned to her. “She's gone. Now, where were we?”

Kit squawked in protest. “Cay! We're supposed to be down there soon!”

He grinned, leaning down. “Then we'll have to make the most of it, won't we?”

Bonus:

- Later -

"My eyes, Cay."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"I'm going to have that burned into my retinas for the rest of my life. And how am I supposed to explain those photos to Grandma? 'Sorry, Kit got her neck and shoulders mauled by a rapid octopus'?"

"Oh, is that all you saw?"

"'Is that-' EUGH, CALEB! I don't need to think about what you're doing to my best friend! Get back here so I can throttle you, you nasty fucker!"

[cosmicjoke]

I barely know what happened with qafi so I'm not pretending to know better but I'd like to know why did you still put qafi's name in your new post if qafi asked you to not put your answer on their post? I understand that it's frustrating to be asked not to engage if you have something to say about it, but also you have a rather agressive way to answer (which is fine, you do you) and some people come to tumblr to have very casual conversations and don't want it to become a stressful place, while still engaging... You may not agree with them, but you also didn't really say anything to point out what is interesting about their take, just what you think was wrong... like qafi's take was purely bad reading and no interesting thoughts...

Also I'm under the impression that you kinda misread it. Qafi said they were talking about Levi as a narrative tool, while you talk about him much more like a person. Like when you say they were blaming Levi for how things eventually turned out with Eren, I don't think there's any blaming in what they say, they just say that the way the story turned out, Levi's choices ended up not being the ones that spared the more lives but not as in "he made bad choices" but just... "the story turned it that way". Your take is also interesting, I think you both had interesting things to say!

So people know what I was talking about and also because I was pissed. There was also nothing aggressive about my initial answer to them. I was just trying to have a conversation, and they could have simply ignored what I said if they didn’t want to “discuss it”, as they put it. But instead they told me to delete it, all while having no issue with engaging with other posters who disagreed with them. How do you think that looks?

There wasn’t anything I agreed with in qafis post, so I don’t know why I would be obligated to talk about what I found interesting about it. I chose to focus on what they said about Levi personally, and what was motivating him, because that was my largest, central issue with what they said. I could have talked about why I didn’t agree with their take in a broader sense, as in narratively, which I did in further discussion on my own post, if you want to read it. About why singling Levi out in that regard is odd, and also why it’s a moot point they were making, because Eren truly was their only option. There was no other course anyone in the story could have taken with the limited knowledge they had. Calling anyone a “failure” in that context is unfair and needlessly negative. I also think it’s a basic misreading of Levi’s character to say he wanted to “save” people. Levi was well aware that he couldn’t save the lives of the people around him, and he accepted that. Of course he wanted them to live, and did what he could to keep them living, but he also knew it was their choice to sacrifice their lives for a cause and it wasn’t his place to interfere with that choice. So to then use this idea of Levi only fighting to save lives to frame how they thought he was a failure was, I thought, a bad take, because it necessarily paints all of Levi’s actions as misguided or wrong.

Levi wanted to help people. He wanted to support them in whatever ways he could. In that regard, he didn’t fail at all. He helped countless people, and also, subsequently, saved many lives.

If qafi wanted to adddress any of that with me, they could have. But instead they decided to tell me they didn’t only not want to engage with me, but sent me the message they didn’t want my name associated with their post at all. It pissed me off, and yeah, including qafis name on my post was petty of me, I’ll admit it. But I also think they deserved it for being petty themselves to begin with. If you don’t want people engaging with your posts, all you have to do is turn off reblogs. But clearly that wasn't the issue for them, I was. They just didn't want me, specifically, engaging with their post. I’d never had any previous issue with this person, other than them one time accusing me of accusing them of being an eruri, when I’d never even mentioned the term in the post they were referring to, so that was pure bullshit. They constantly commented on my posts, and I never told them they couldn’t, or asked them to remove their replies, and instead always engaged them back. So… I think I had a right to be pissed.

[starsscarmyceiling]

the only thing i have ever known about merrical is what i've seen you reblog over the years, and i was always fine with that like go off...but now idk, i have seen so much of this pairing on my dash and i find myself being a little more curious? i feel kind of insane going to your askbox about this, but it seems to have certainly intrigued me ngl. and since you are the og merrical i've been following forever (reylo 4 life!), is there any sort of way you could give me a crash course on it? 🥺🙏

Holy gee WOW did I smile so very hard at this nonnie, I can't even tell you omfg. I was kind of wondering if Merrical would reach others in the SW fandom. I just know it's a smaller ship, especially in comparison to Reylo...and let me just tell you, Reylo Merricals, I think are mighty cool people.

Alright, well, I had another ask where I just gave all my fic recs and stuff like that, so you can find all of that here!

Okay okay okay, damn...where to start? I mean coming from Reylo you're still getting that enemies to lovers the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine goodness. Just imagine like...a Dark Rey/Jedi Ben AU? Yeah that seems like the right vibes to me.

Alright, so like the absolute 🤌thing🤌 for Merrical imo is all of the unspoken understanding between them. When I first played Jedi Fallen Order, what truly got me to start shipping is the moment Cal looked into Merrin's eyeballs and dropped the "I know what it's like to lose everything" line, like damn. That fucking--that ruined my life. He looked at her and validated her and then told her that how she'd been treated was wrong, and I just like fainted the old Katie can't come to the phone right now because she's dead. Here are two people, who both have been through so much, all of the same traumas of losing their entire people at such a young age and they found each other...like...do you know how special that is??

I think that is just another thing that I love about these two. There really is so much unsaid understanding between them that it seems like no matter the universe, they just seem to just naturally want to be around each other, and maybe they don't always understand why, but what it has is the potential to turn into is like *chef's kiss* of building something together that may have a foundation of joint trauma, but can then turn into everything they have been seeking and not even knowing they were. About two broken people, finally feeling like it's okay that they are, like they don't need to be fixed, like they don't need to explain, and they can just be.

It's about what they can build together.

They are so very healthy, have such amazing communication, and ISTG Star War if you don't give us this one pairing that won't end in tragedy I am setting everything on fire.

Alright, so obviously I would suggest playing JFO and then Jedi Survivor to get like the full story, but if you're not a gamer and want to commit to watching the "movie" version JFO, I thought this one was the best of the ones that weren't like 5+ hours but still providing enough context with cut scenes and some game play. I know it's still long but I tried to pick the best one under 3 hours!

For the JS movie. I thought this one was also a good balance of game play and cut scenes to get context. Let me just, like wow Respawn really made this game for the Merricals. Oh shit, these two are going to fuck your life up...in like the best way.

Also...HEH you're still gonna get all the freckle and hair appreciation in the world. Yes, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Fellow Merricals, if there was like anything that I left out that you think is important, just comment on here! I hope that was as succinct, you know, for me, and efficient of a Merrical crash course that I could give you anon.

This was fun, thinking this all out, and I truly hope you enjoy just another lovable set of space idiots over here. Also don't be shy! If I've successfully converted you, please show some love to the amazing authors and artists that this fandom has to offer.

AW YEAH guys we could have another convert to the house of Merrical I am kicking my feet in the air and screaming love all of us always 💖💖💖

Also, yes, our home base is Applebee's. Come join me for a drink sometime 😏

[notemily]

Well, ladypfenix seems to have blocked me, which is a shame because I adore her stuff about morality in MDZS and would love to read more from her. But before blocking me she reblogged my post and I just wanted to defend myself against some of the things I'm accused of.

For the record this is the post, which I can't reblog because of being blocked.

I keep saying things about what I personally like and people keep interpreting that as me saying that my preferences are objectively better or that I think gay stories are better when they're sexless and subtextual, which is not what I'm saying at all.

(And yeah I'm probably missing some context, but expecting everyone in a fandom to have read every post people make in order to Have All The Context is unrealistic. There are new people joining this fandom all the time with no context whatsoever and it'd be nice if they didn't immediately get attacked for daring to express an opinion.)

As for Wangxian, of course I don't prefer for them to be best friends instead of husbands. I have read many an E rated fanfic about them on Ao3. People accusing me of just wanting sanitized queer stories where nobody has sexual desire are missing the mark. But I do get turned off by things like their first kiss being nonconsensual. "I just couldn't help myself, I had to kiss the guy even though he didn't know who I was" is NOT what I'm looking for in a fictional love interest. The Lan Wangji of The Untamed seems like he wouldn't do that, so I was more drawn to him than the version in the novel.

And yeah, I do think book Wei Wuxian is pretty oblivious. He catches up fast once he realizes what's going on, but as evidenced by the fact that he tells Jiang Cheng that he and Lan Wangji are "just friends" when they're at Lotus Pier near the end of the story, he doesn't realize what's going on for quite a long time. Yeah, there are reasons for that, but again, it's not what I prefer in a romance. And the trope of one person being oblivious while the other is pining is one MXTX seems to like - I'm reading SVSSS now and Shen Qingqiu is similarly unaware of how Luo Binghe feels about him for most of the novel. (And even when he does realize it, I have some trouble buying that he's attracted to Luo Binghe in return.) (Obviously Shen Qingqiu LOVES Luo Binghe, but I've been reading him as gray-ace and I don't think I'm alone in that headcanon.)

Another trope she seems to like is one where the first time the couple has sex is painful for one of them, and I just really don't like that. This DOESN'T mean I think she's wrong to write it or that people who do like it are wrong to like it, just that it's not my thing!

I prefer it when fictional couples both want to kiss each other, and when they take their time and make sure nobody is hurting when they have sex (and use lube). Preferring those things doesn't make me anti-sex or anti-gay. But I was disappointed by those scenes when I read the book, while I wasn't expecting the show to give me any sex scenes at all, so it didn't disappoint me in that sense. (I was disappointed by the show's ending where they separate, but it was ambiguous enough not to bother me too much.)

Anyway. I think the show is remarkably good for how much they had to cut out of the book in order to fit the censorship guidelines, which makes me wonder how much better it could have been if they didn't have to adhere to those. But I do think there's a romance there and it's a romantic show. Subtext isn't text, true, but it's also not nothing. The people making the show clearly knew they were adapting a romance, and the relationship between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji is the heart of the show.

Anyone who thinks the part with "the feeling of sticking to the single log bridge is indeed not bad" isn't a romantic scene because they don't explicitly get together later... I just do not get that. (Some people have even pinpointed the part in the show where they are implied to get together - it's in episode 43 - and yeah it's not explicit, but it's there if you look for it.)

Anyway now that I'm blocked by half the fandom I'll go back to shutting up, at least until the next time I get it into my head to Have Opinions, which is clearly not allowed around here.

[alvie-pines]

You might wanna turn off anon until this entire mess blows over. This should have been a DM not a public post.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you 🫂

thank you for the support. i agree that it should have been a dm.

my mistake was genuine and came out of a fear for my friends, my congregation, jews i dont even know across the country-- it scared me to think that one of the popular blogs giving this site their news would invoke the holocaust like that, in the tags where its hard to see. the rise in antisemitic attacks and rhetoric is scary and IS something we should be concerned about-- being concerned about rising antisemitism does not take away from pro-palestine activism. because we arent anti-jew, we're anti-israeli occupation. that distinction needs to remain distinct. and so long as its distinct, there should be no problems with being worried about antisemitism. this is especially relevant to me as someone who was beginning to look into conversion before the october 7th attack and who regularly attends shabbat services where i have met several wonderful and kind jewish people and found appreciation for a religion that speaks to me.

i also hold that my mistake was reasonable. the 🔻 emoji is a very vague way to express something and, in the context of a video of an israeli man, i believe it is reasonable to assume the reference was to this:

i WAS wrong, but i dont think i was terribly irrational in my assumption, and i think this could have been easily resolved via an ask or dm.

anyways, i need to go back to blocking zionists and sending messages to the other people who reblogged that post about the update.

[ayoharuko]

Hiiii can i request arguments with Love and Deepspace trio? Like really angsty but ends with a fluff.

Because yeah, i want to be sad, but i want a happy ending hehehehhe. Thank you ^_^

-🍓

Hello 🍓anon!! Make to prepare your tissues cause I love making people cry! (Pls don't take that outta context-)

This will be 3 one shots in one post because I wanted this as detailed as possible lol, so yes this will be quite long; sorry for that!

Reader here is Female (she/her) :)

Reminder: The character belongs to INFOLD/ its respective creators; this is all just fictional work so please try to not take these too seriously :)

T.W: Lots of kisses and a little spice. Maybe OCC.

With all those aside. Lay back, grab a snack and drink... andddd

Enjoy reading~! ✧

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦ ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Usually you were calm and collected but everything around you was starting to test your patience.

A huge wanderer incident had had happened during a festival that was happening in Linkon City and a few people had gotten hurt.

Seeing Captain Jenna's disappointed face directed at me and my teammates make me tip over the edge as I rushed to get back to my apartment, planning to drink my heart away.

While I was walking my hunters watch went off, and it seemed like the wanderer was near where I was so I quickly went to the location and saw it being taken care of none other then Xavier.

He turned towards me and softly smiled at me.... however I didn't return any soft or gentleness he showed towards me as I spoke in a cold, hallow tone.

"Where were you?"

I asked clenching my fists, the plastic wrinkling.

"I... had to take care of some important stuff, sorry... I tried to go and catch up but I was too lat-"

"How could you be so careless?"

I asked, now my voice spitting with venom as I glared at him.

"This is always the problem with you Xavier! You're so distant and secretive that sometimes I don't even know you anymore... I don't even know if I'm.... of I'm even as important as you say I am"

"I... didn't know you felt that way.... i.. didn't't mean to be so ignorant.."

"Save it Xavier... I'm too tired to deal with you right now."

I was such a jerk yesterday.... I can't believe I let my anger out on Xavier like that.

He has always been so patient and understanding with me and I go and scream at him almost like i... i...... I don't love him....

"Hey hey heyy! Earth to Y/n~! You alright?" I heard Tara ask beside me.

"Sorry.. yea I'm fine, I'll head home first alright?" I responded and we both said our goodbyes to each other.

As the elevator doors open, I was shocked to see Xavier sitting next to my apartment door and he was..... snoring?

I quickly shake him awake.

As he rubs his eyes and looks up at me while still being drowsy, I sigh and help him up as we both enter my apartment.

I sat him on the couch and go to get some warm tea for him.

After we both settled down and he was wide awake we both sat in silence..

"Are you.... still upset with me?" Xavier asked, breaking the silence.

"No.. I'm not, it was irrational for me to get upset at you for the first place..." I responded, looking down at the cup filled with tea I held in my hand.

"But.. I can't help but still be upset with you." I said, now turning my gaze towards him.

"I can't help but feel as if I'm... unimportant to you.. I can't help but feel as if...... you don't love me." My lips quivered as I uttered those words.

After a brief silence of me looking at his figure, he finally spoke.

"I didn't mean to make you feel that way.... i.." He seemed as if he was thinking about his words before saying them to me.

"You've got it wrong i... I do love you and you are important to me- so much so that I can't help but think about you all the time..."

He looked directly into my eyes as he spoke those words as I looked back into his.

"I feel frustrated at the fact that I have to keep secrets from you just to protect you...."

"You know I'm then capable of taking care of myself right? Xavier I just want you to be honest with me and show me all of you."

I said, my cup now sat at the table as I moved closer to Xavier.

"Why are you keeping half of yourself from me!? Am I that unworthy and untrustworthy? Xavier i... please just tell me-"

"Because I don't want to lose you again."

"H u h . . . . ?"

"Because. I don't want to lose you again."

"Again? What? What are you..."

"I... I can't explain everything to you right now but... I'm doing this to protect you because I LOVE you."

He pulled me into a hug and I felt his breathe tickle my neck as he nuzzles into it.

"Please... please don't force me in saying it... I can't lose you... I just can't.." He saids in a broken tone as he tightens his hold on me.

I contemplate for a bit and wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes to breath in his familiar scent.

"Ok. Just promise me you'll tell me everything when you're ready."

He nods and we both decided to sleep on the couch tonight.

The next morning me and Xavier were back to normal, as if we never have fought....

As much as I want to press him for the truth I'll back off.

He'll tell me when his ready.

. . . . . . . . .

"I love you My Star" He whispers to the young woman's ear as she drifts off to sleep.

"Thanks for taking over!" I yelled over to my colleague as I happily skipped over to my motorcycle and rode back to my apartment.

Me and Zayne had planned to dine/have dinner at a new restaurant that specialized in sweetened foods!

I quickly got ready and got a message from Zayne saying that I should head over first, so I did and walked to the restaurant as it was quite near my building.

As I entered the restaurant I was led to me and Zayne's reserved sit, I smiled excitedly as I was given a menu.

However, since Zayne wasn't here yet I ordered a strawberry smoothie and just pulled out my phone from my pocket to scroll mindlessly on Lintok. (A.n: Seemed funnier in my head sorry-)

. . . . . . . . . . .

Its been a whole hour and he still wasn't here......

I tried calling his phone and bombarding him with messages but to no avail..

I calmed myself down and waited....

And waited.....

And Waited....

And Waited...

And.....

W a i t e d..

I started feeling the anger build up inside of me as I got up and left the restaurant, heading straight to Akso Hospital.

"Yvonne, is Zayne inside his office?"

"Y/n! Doctor Zayne is in fact in his office, he actually just finished a surge-"

I walked away as soon as she answered my question, almost sprinting to his office.

"-surgery... y/n?" Yvonne sighed as he leaned back on her chair, as a fellow nurse giggled behind her.

"It seems like Doctor Zayne has found himself in a pickle."

Yvonne sighs again and looked at the direction of their Cardiac Doctors office with a face filled with pity.

"He does."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

3 knocks was heard as the famous cardiac surgeon/doctor was working on his computer with his usual stoic face on as he mindlessly asked the person who knocked to come in.

Only when he saw your figure enter did his face softened at the sight of you, but It son faded as you looked at him with sorrowful eyes.

Concerned, he stood up from his desk and walked towards you in a slow manner but you seemed to back away from him.

"..... Darling? Whats the matter?" He asked as he continued to look at you with genuine concern.

You winced as it seems like Zayne had forgotten your date.... again.

Yes. This wasn't the first time that Zayne forgot dates.

"You forgot again." I said as I looked up into his pretty orbs that I loved to stare at so much.

I watched as the realization hits his face.

I watched as he uncomfortably shifts around before setting his gaze at me with an unreadable emotion present on his face.

"I.." He stops midway and seeing this I just clench my fists together and made sure to give him a piece of my mind... and heart.

"Zayne, this has been happening too recently... I feel like you're trying to slip away from me." I said but I swallowed the rest of the wards that itched to come out.

"I'll... I'll make it up to you. I have the day this coming weekend, I apologize. The patients of Akso Hospital had increased over the weeks and we became understaffed.. I didn't mean to-"

"Stop.. just stop it Zayne." I turned my back on him as I felt my eyes burning.

"I think... we need a break from each other.. at least until you have enough time for me." I opened the door and preceded to walk away from his office.

. . . .

Zayne stayed standing at the same spot you had left him for an hour. Thinking about the events that had occurred.

He decided that he didn't want you both to end it like this- even if you said 'taking a break' he just didn't want to.

So he clocked out quickly, got in his car and drove straight to your house; hoping that you both could solve this by having a conversation... but if you don't want that the, I guess he really screwed up big time huh..

After finding a parking spot for his car, he made sure to buy flowers first (Your favorite ones of course) along with a heartfelt apology.

. . . . .

You plopped down on your comfy bed and closed your eyes in exhaustion.... however, your mind started drifting to the events that happened an hour ago.

Were you too harsh?

Did you do the right thing?

Were you selfish for not understanding Zayne's situation more?

Those were the type of thoughts swirling through your head as you desperately tried to get some sleep.

After sometime of you still not being able to get some sleep, you grabbed your phone from your desk and opened your boyfriends cell number, staring at the nickname and picture you set for him.

You pondered on whether you should call him or not...

After giving it some thought- you decided that why not? But as your finger hovered the call bottom the doorbell of your apartment rang.

Blinking confusingly, you set your door back down to its original place and walked outside your bedroom to the front door.

Looking into the peephole, you were shocked to see Zayne- holding... flowers... Jasmines to be more specific.

I unlocked the door and opened it wide, he briefly looked surprised for a moment.

"Zayne.. why are you here? I though that the hospital needed you." I said, my own voice betraying me as it came out in a bitter tone.

"Could i...come in?" He asked and I thought about it moment before sighing and stepping aside to let him in.

He ushered a 'thank you' to me as he walked inside my apartment.

I instructed him to sit down on the couch as I make tea for him and me. I looked at him from the corner of my eye and saw him deep in thought.

I gave him the tea and sat down beside him, I let a few moments pass before I speak.

"I-" "Plea-"

"................"

"You go first.." I said sipping my tea as he cleared his throat.

"Please accept these Jasmines that I grew inside of my office" He said as he nudged the Jasmines towards me.

I hesitantly took the freshly looking Jasmines from him and let out a meek 'Thank you'

"And please also... accept my apologies, even if I know that I'm undeserving of it-"

"Zayne plea-"

"You don't deserve this-"

"Zayne.. I should be the one to apologize."

He looked stunned for a moment and was about to refuse my statement but I spoke before he could.

"You always made time for me, I just... I just didn't realize nor have I seen it.... You were always there for me not only as my physical physician but also as the... love of my life." I said clenching my heart as I let out this confession of mines.

"Could i... hug you?" I almost let out a sigh of relief as I nod and wrap my arms around him tightly.

"Can I be... selfish tonight, my love?" He said our faces inches away from each other.

I slowly nod as our faces got closer and closer...till our noses touches... our breathes and finally...

Our lips touch and It eventually evolves into a deep and passionate one.

"I took a day off tomorrow, so we won't have to worry about sleeping in or waking up late..." He said as he breaths heavily.

I blush but smile slightly.... maybe me and Zayne will be alright...

As she drifts away into a deep sleep against his chest, he swiftly bridal carries her and walked inside her room to setting her on her bed, tucking her in nice and warm- leaving a warm forehead kiss reserved just for her.

He gently sits himself on her bed and looks at her with warm, softened eyes as he began caressing her hair.

"I... love you more than anything. My Jasmine"

"I won't let this mistake of mines happen again.

"You ready Rafayel?" I asked as I make sure my makeup was perfect.

"Just a second!" He said, his voice echoing inside the bathroom.

I sigh and get up and walked towards the bathroom door, leaning against the door.

"You sure are taking awhile..." I said a nonchalant expression present on my face as I saw him with his shirt unbutton as he turned towards with a smug smirk on.

"Thomas and you said that I should look as formal as possible for the auction so I am just taking my time to make sure I do look good~"

"Your just making sure we're late enough to miss the entire event aren't you?"

"...... Ugh- why are you siding with Thomas by the way? I'm your boyfriend... not him!" Said by the artist, pouting at me and crossing is arms.

I shook my head and turned around from him, planning to just text Thomas that maybe me and Rafayel would be late but I felt two strong arms wrap around me.

"Rafayel...?"

"You smell nice..."

"Stop kidding around and just hurry up-"

"I'm not kidding you do smell nice!

He turned me around to look at him and I blushed at our closeness and the look he gave me.....

"You also look... gorgeous" He said, smiling down at me.

"Hurry up so we can go.. you goofy fish." I said and boop his nose as he chuckles and went inside the bathroom.

I sigh and tried my best to fan my face, as it was hot and probably red.

After a few minutes Rafayel was finally finished and we both drove to the auction place via Rafayel's sports car.

"Rafayel! Good that you're here... some potential buyers wanna meet you, could you spare them a moment?" Thomas yelled as he walked towards us as we both entered inside.

Rafayel looked at me for confirmation, I nod and he was led away by Thomas to the other side of the room.

I sat down by the bar and asked a drink for myself, as the bartender put my drink in front of me; I took my purse out to pay for it.

"Here. I'll pay for the lady." I heard someone say beside me.

I quickly looked to the person sitting beside me. It was a man, seeming to be in his late 30s.

I force a smile on my face as I thank him for his 'Kindness'.

"You really are beautiful in person... even from across the room" He said as he scanned me up and down.

I swift uncomfortably and take a sip of my drink, remaining silent as I silently prey that this man would just leave me alone.

"Not a talker? Didn't expect that as you were all but smiley when you were with that famous artist. Rafayel."

"...."

"Still not gonna talk sweetheart? Well I-"

"What do you want with Rafayel..?" I cut him off and glare at him slightly.

He chuckles as he leans closer to my face and lets his neck words out in a whisper.

"You see, I want that painting for myself. However, Thomas said that it's an auction so I should just... fight for it when the auction starts."

I urge him to go on as I lean even closer, as the music was starting to get too loud.

"I'm willing to pay a great sum of money for that painting without even bidding..." He said and his next words bought me chills on my spine.

"And I'm willing to pay to have you as my own as well."

I quickly get up from my sit but he grabbed me by the arm and chuckles.

"I'm not letting my prey get away that easily..." He said darkly.

I was about to kick him when a hand grabs his that was on my arm, it was Rafayel! I almost fall back but was caught by the arms by Thomas that was behind me.

I saw Rafayel gripping the mans arm hard as he cries from pain.

"Rafayel! Let the guards handle this, we shouldn't create a-"

Rafayel throws the man on the ground and grabbed me away from Thomas.

Thomas calls for Rafayel, saying that the auction isn't over yet but I doubt he'd want to go back there.

I stare back at Thomas, silently apologizing as me and Rafayel walks over to his car.

Driving back to his place, it was quiet- painfully quiet.

As we come to a stop, he opens the passenger sits door and grabs me by the wrist; pulling me out of the car in a rough manner.

"Rafayel! You're gripping onto me too hard!" I yelled but he ignored my cries and took me to the bathroom.

I watched as he turned the bathtubs tap on.

"Ra...Rafayel?"

"Get in."

"Huh?"

He then tried to get me in the bathtub that was already overflowing, "Rafayel! ..... Stop!" I yelped as my legs hit the front of the tub and I fell into the tub, I closed my eyes as I felt the warm water embracing my whole body.

I coughed and rubbed my eyes as my glared at the man who was on top of me, I guess he also fell inside the tub as his clothes were wet as well.

"What is.. WITH YOU RAFAYEL!?" I yelled angrily at him, my eyes burning from the water and my frustrated tears.

"You let him get close to you Y/n! Now you smell like him and it.. it infuriates me!" He argued back at me with emotions I couldn't understand.

I scoffed at this.

"How could you be so childish? Not only did you underestimate me, you also made a scene! Thomas must be running around like a deer in headlights because of that stun you did." I said, breaking heavily.

Rafayel silently got off the tub and walked away, as I tried to processed the whole situation.

After a couple hours had passed, and me putting on some more comfortable clothes that I had left in Rafayel's place just in case.

I decided to try and look for him as I haven't seen him in the last couple of hours, just as I was about to give up I saw the bathroom door slightly ajar.

I peeked inside and saw Rafayel inside the tub, half naked and surrounded by water, his eyes were closed and he seemed relaxed.

I slowly walked inside and kneel beside the tub, I brought my hand to his cheek brushed the flesh slowly.

A lot of things were swirling inside my mind, i... obviously want to apologize for my behavior but.... I was also upset at him for not even considering his reputation.

I sigh softly and was about to bring my hand back to my side but a cold hand firmly gripping mines keeps it in place.

"Rafayel?"

He opens his eyes and we both stare at each other for a good minute.

"I... Rafayel, could you get freshened up? I need to talk to you."

"Why not talk here?"

"Your in the bathtub, I want us to talk seriously."

"I don't want to get out yet."

Ugh.. every so stubborn.

I sigh and got up from my kneeling position but he still wouldn't let go of my hand....

"Rafayel... I can't do this with you right now, please jus-" My sentence was cut short as I let up a small scream, pulling me inside the tub with him; soaking the clothes I had just wore a couple hours ago.

"Rafayel! Ugh... now my clothes are-"

"You wanted to talk right? Let's talk."

I gave up and let him position me properly on his lap.

"I'm sorry for the words I said earlier.. I was just... upset with what you did even if I should have thanked you for saving me." I looked down aka away from him as I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes to save myself the embarrassment.

"Hmph. Good thing you realized." He said and I pouted at his response as I thought he would be more grateful at my apology.

"But I know I'm wrong as well." I looked up at him in surprise at this as I didn't expect it from him.

"I know that my actions hurt you, cutie." He gently stroked my cheek with his cold fingers.

"I let the passion and my desires take over me, turning me into a beast thats possessive of you." I gasped as he bites the end of my palm, pulling me closer to him.

"Shouldn't you take responsibly? And make me feel... better?"

He whispered against my lips as our faces inch closer and closer....

Our lips touch and danced in a soundless rhyme, our hearts beating in harmony- both loud and fast.

I put both my hands on his chest and slowly push me away from my lips even if I knew we were both hungry for more.

He presses his forehead against mines and the other noises that can be heard is our heavy breathing and maybe even our beating hearts.

I sigh as he then presses his head deep inside my neck, his hands caressing my sides.

"You still... have that lout's scent on you, and thats a problem."

"Ra...Rafayel.."

"Don't worry, cutie. I'll make it up to you for making you upset."

Thank you so much for this wonderful request!

I apologize deeply for how long it has taken for me to complete your request. However, I hope that I have done your request justice and that you enjoyed reading this well!

Thank you once again for this request! ♡

Reblogs are appreciated and Feedback/Comments are always appreciated! :3

(Note: please don't copy and paste my works anywhere, and if you do see them on other platform please inform me.)

[betzabobababi]

Stages

Hello Hello! This is 2/3 for my fics today. 1000% cried. Don't judge. The stages hit close to home. If you now what I mean with "I added one more" (you'll have more context around the end of the fic) then congrats! Anyways enjoy. Don't hesitate to like and or reblog really helps an author out <3

Warnings: Major character deaths/5 Stages of grief/ mentions of blood

for now I think thats it let me know if I missed some warning

Pairing: None

Summary: The way you grieved. How does someone put their life together after half of the universe and family are gone?

Type: 100% angst

It all happened so fast. One second you were standing next to your family, the only family you’ve ever had. The avengers were your family. And now half of it had disappeared into thin air. They dissolved into who knows what. Everything was just so confusing. 

FLASHBACK

“Yo-You should have gone for the head….” a gruff voice who you could only assume was Thanos said and in a split second there was a clink. And even faster than you could blink your friends and family started to disappear. 

You turned around and bucky was gone. You closed your eyes and you saw t'challa dissolve. You saw a group of people somewhere that didn’t look like earth dust away. You saw Peter. And you saw the pain that Tony had on his face. Sam. Doctor Strange. Wanda. Nick and Maria. Clint’s family. 

Half of everyone that you grew to love and learned to care for just disintegrated. 

END OF FLASHBACK

.

.

.

Five years went by and each represented one of the stages of grief

YEAR ONE

Your first year was denial. Denying the truth that most of the people you knew were gone. Denial helped you survive. The world became meaningless and overwhelming. Life made no sense. You were numb. The first year you stayed with Natasha in the compound. You helped her keep track of everyone that was left. Other than going out to help Natasha for a few hours a day, eating, going to the bathroom and sleeping were the only things that you’d do during a day. As you began to accept the reality of what happened you unknowingly began to heal. You became stronger and the denial began to fade. But as you moved on, all the feelings you spent a year burying, ignoring and denying began to surface.

YEAR TWO

The anger you felt was more like blinding white rage. You were angry with yourself for not doing things better. Your rage went towards thanos. You hated him for taking the people you loved away from you. You worked so hard to get here, and he just gradually showed up and took it away. Starting with the attack of 2012 and then in 2018 when Banner showed up at the sanctum sanctorum. And even though you weren’t there you knew. You knew something was wrong. So when Steve’s flip phone went off indicating tony was calling it just supported your knowledge. You felt angry that you werent there when Tony went missing. Around September of your second year you decided you would stop feeling angry all the time. Sure you’d still be angry but it would only be on a low level.

YEAR THREE

Bargaining was something that you just couldn't let go. As much as you would have loved to let go of all the nightmares and bad memories of the day on wakanda you couldn’t, so you replaced it with trying to find a different outcome. Your third year Tony and Pepper saw how bad your stages of grief were getting. Tony went through his stages rather quickly unlike you where they were taking a year per stage. So they invited you to move in with them, because they knew that bargaining would definitely be hard for you. Possibly even harder for you than it was for Tony.

You threw yourself into studying parallel universes. Dead end. Time travel seemed like the most logical thing at least to you it was. But when you conversed with Tony he denied the possibility of time travel. 

“Y/n, the day that time travel is invented then I’ll put you on the will.” 

“You sure you’ll put me on the will? Because all of the research points towards time travel. All we need is something that connects point to point.”

“Yes. I will. I’ll put you on the will, I swear.”

You bargained until you knew it would be possible to change the way things happened. The only reason you didn’t act on it was because you didn’t have the resources. Time travel was the only answer. No bargaining with higher power, you’d tried that and it’d never work. You bargained yourself from time to time. Your mental, emotional and physical health were at risk because of your bargaining. If only you’d been with Thor, you could've helped him. All of your if onlys and what if’s kept you up at night. If only the attack of 2012 would’ve been more descriptive as to who started it. If only you would have joined the battle earlier. If only time travel was possible.

YEAR FOUR

Depression hits you like hell. After bargaining your attention moved to the present. Empty feelings presented themselves, and grief entered your life on a deeper level. Deeper than anyone could have imagined. Your depressing stage felt as if it could last forever. Now that you had moved on from all your past stages you focused on what was in front of you. Nothing. Nothing was infront of you. After the snap, you stayed at the compound. Then you moved in with Tony, Pepper and Morgan. But that was almost all you had. Sure, you checked in on the rest of the team, and you made sure everyone else was ok. Before Thanos you had been known for being able to fix anything. Broken mug? Done. Squeaky door? Done before someone could say Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. But your life had been cut in half. How were you supposed to fix that?

You withdrew from anyone and anything around you, staying in your room, left in an intense fog of sadness and emptiness. Wondering perhaps, if there was any point in going on alone. And yes you did know it was selfish of you to take years to move on, it was selfish of you to shut everyone out when you knew that all they wanted to do is help. But why go on if only half of the people you loved were going to be there with you?

YEAR FIVE

You knew that this situation would never be ok or it’s never be “right”. But you learned to accept it. You learned to accept the reality that your loved ones were now physically gone. 

“Personally I believe that when I recognized that this new reality was going to be permanent I decided to start moving on” You said to Tony out of the blue one day. Tony being Tony he decided that he’d do everything to help you move on with your life.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“See you in a minute” 

Only she never did

And then Bruce stapped. As soon as he had snapped you saw how everyone was holding in their breath. You were too. When Clint’s phone started ringing you knew that it worked. You knew that they were back, you felt it. You closed your eyes and you saw them reappearing where they stood five years ago. But you felt something was wrong. You felt a presence you felt you only felt in wakanda. Thanos. And even though you knew it was not possible you realized, if you and the team figured out time travel. Why can’t he? Turned out he had.

You were now under what was left of the compound. Covered in dirt and hair mucky. You found a way out only to realize the scene in front of you wasn’t the best. There stood Steve Thor on one side and Tony on the other. All looking like they were about to have the fight of their lives (kinda were). Although you knew that three of them wouldn’t be enough to defeat thanos You wanted to see what they’d do. 

“You could not live with your own failure. What did that bring you? Back to me.” Thanos says, looking at Tony, Thor and Steve. Feeling light headed you slowly started to lose consciousness from your injuries. A few seconds go by and you pass out. 

When you wake up Steve is standing a few feet away from Thanos when he starts to turn around. Slowly he brings his hand up to his ear where the coms should be. All of a sudden you see yellow little sparks appearing behind steve. All around his background you see the sparks. As the portals fully form you see a portal that leads to wakanda, T’challa, Shuri, and Dora emerge from the portal. Sam comes flying out of there as well.  Another portal leads to a place that looks nothing like earth (nothing new there) where Peter and the guardians come out of along as Doctor Strange. Wanda, the students of the mystic arts, Wasp, Valkyrie, people you’ve never met, and people who were definitely not people. Although it may have seemed like a lot of people you knew it would mean anything compared to Thanos’s army. But you could at least try.

TIME SKIP

.

.

.

.

You were at the point in the battle where everyone was exhausted from fighting and they were nowhere near done with the fight. When you saw Pepper fight next to Tony you felt happy for them, especially since she was wearing the suit Tony had made for her. You took a breather, stopped fighting and looked around. When you notice Strange slowly and shakily lifts his finger showing one. Now you weren’t there on Titan but you knew from what Tony told you that there was only one combination where they’d win. All of the people around you were ready to sacrifice themselves for humanity. To save other people from what had happened five years ago. But you, you were determined to not make other people go through the five fucking stages of grief. So you did the logical thing. You let your family and friends around you have their happy ending.

You knew that if you didn't get the glove on time, Tony would snap. He’d sacrifice himself for everyone, even when he had a daughter and home to go back to. You on the other hand didn’t have a home to go to. You had family but you knew it would be difficult for you to adjust again and you being there, going through more grief while others tried to adjust to missing five years of their life, didn't sit well with you. Now there might only have been one outcome where everyone would win, but you being you forced your way into being two. So, you snapped. You sacrifice yourself for everyone you love. And you won. Now you’d be able to see Natasha and your parents. The last five years of your life, you spent grieving. Tony came up to you once you'd snapped, "I added you to the will kid, you were supposed to be there to read it." "don't worry T, *hoarsley* they say there are five stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, and T you know what? I added a stage" "what was that kid?" "revenge." With that Tony chuckled laid his forehead on yours and slowly broke apart walking towards pepper with tears in his eyes. Slumped down sitting on a piece of rubble everyone said there tearful goodbye to you as you drifted into death. Ending your stages.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Side note:

Tony did put you in the will. Because time travel was possible and also because he thought he'd be the one snapping.