#tumblr kept ffing up this post like i almost popped a vein off.

[whatstheoccasion]

1.54 p.m.

Toji continues to play with his food, chopsticks moving around his ramen cup aimlessly.

You weren't there. He despised the sound of silence that filled his kitchen, that made him do something he hated doing these days— thinking.

He was trying not to. He really was, but somedays, the heavy weight of guilt tightening around his heart wouldn't let him.

Somedays, feeling content felt wrong.

Undeserved. Like the people he lost all these years ago deserved him being sad, lonely, broken. Living in misery had been the only way he could think to cope with it. To make them not hate him, wherever they were.

Until you came along, that is.

"We can go slower." You told him this morning, laying softly on top of him.

Your words confused him, breaking the comfortable silence. But he still smirked, strong arms squeezing suggestively around your middle. "You sure weren't saying that last night."

It made you chuckle, but you didn't let it go. "I'm not talking about that."

"What are you talking about, then?"

"Us."

Toji's throat bobs painfully.

"You were made for me," he said a few months ago, balls deep inside you. "This ass was made for me. Just me."

Your moans fill the room with sin. He's so deep inside you swear you feel him on your throat, cock swollen and big, fucking you right into his sheets.

Hearing the familiar sound of your cries, skin slapping against skin, Toji tries to keep his mind from wandering anywhere else. From thinking.

But you look at him with teary eyes and mouth open with a silent moan, back arching so prettily and vulnerable and looking undoubtedly like you belong to him it makes his heart beat faster. It's then he realizes he can't see himself with anyone else from now on.

From now on. Because there was someone before, but he shakes the thought before it can grow roots on him. There's only you, now.

"Tell me you're mine." 'I need to hear it', he doesn't say, instead just watches your body bounce deliciously to the brutal rhythm of his hips.

"Yours! Toji, I'm– ah, ah, there, please!– I'm only yours."

You're quite the sight, moans turning to sobs when you lose yourself to his deep thrusts, eager to feel his cum drip inside you. It's his. This view is only his.

Smirking with satisfaction, his hips snap harder towards you, wet, sticky noises only spurring him on. Your walls are fluttering on his hot length like they have a mind of their own and he curses, feeling his gut tighten with pleasure.

Toji hisses as you cry out, and he drops his hand to where your bodies meet, rubbing you fast and steady and so good you swear you see stars.

He grabs your knees to press them fully against your chest, your screams making his cock twitch inside you. He’s not going to last like this, not when you look like the hottest wet dream he’s ever had, but he needs to see you fall apart first. "Hold them for me, pretty thing."

You lift your arms to obey him with whatever strength you have left, the sight making his dick drip with precum, painting your insides white, and your lips are bleeding from constantly biting them, but you can't keep shut for the life of you.

"That's right, fucking scream," he slaps your cheeks, red marks making his heart swell. "I'm the only bastard you'll let fuck you like this. You’re all mine."

He's lost in the bliss that your body gives him, pounding into your tight heat like it’s the last time he will, until he hears you say something that paralyzes his fucking soul. "But you, ah, you're mine too, Toji."

You bring him to your friends, too.

Well, not exactly bring him. But when they come over to visit, he's there, and you don't hide him. You do the opposite, actually.

You introduce him as Toji, nothing else, and it still is so much more than what he's used to. They greet him easily, teasing you, and then you start talking. And that's it.

The world doesn't stop around him, he doesn't feel like he's walking on eggshells, as if any wrong word could get him killed, or worse, disliked.

It's a damn normal interaction, and his heart shouldn't feel so light afterwards.

(Toji had felt this same level of tranquility long ago, shared with a beautiful woman he loved and a small baby with eyes like the sky.

He now feels it when your two closest friends know him by name.)

Toji didn't stay with you that night. He couldn't, had to visit some poor sorcerer with bad luck to make himself some money, but it was the first time he's promised to come back to you in one piece.

His goodbye kiss never felt gentler.

"Don't need to go slower." He spits, voice embarrassingly defensive. "Don't fucking treat me like I'm fucking weak—"

He makes the mistake to look at you in his rage, your body tense and eyebrows furrowed into disappointment.

He knows that expression. He's seen it before, in the face of a ghost.

It makes his heart ache, and the sigh he lets out is long and tired. Tired, he's so sick and tired of running away from what's good for him. From you, and whatever it is you both have going on.

He can allow himself this. He can let himself come home to welcoming arms, to a safe roof over his head. He can sleep in the same warm bed with the same person more than once without feeling like dying.

He knows it's not that easy, though.

The chuckle that leaves his mouth is self deprecating.

A scum like him can only hope you want him in your life, but there's hope hidden in your eyes when you look at him, and he holds on to it. So he clicks his tongue, and says, "Don't wanna go slower. I want more."

The way you slowly smile at him makes his vicious thoughts disappear one by one, if only for a little while. You light up. He finds it’s the most efficient medicine for his sore mind. "Okay."

And when you kiss him, Toji thinks that maybe, he wants to be as important to you as you are to him. Maybe. In the future.

Right now he kisses you back, hungry and passionate, determined to take your breath away.

It's a start.

So Toji was trying.

His troubled eyes soften when you walk into the room, wearing a smile so innocent he knows he doesn't deserve, yet all he does is pat the space beside him on the couch, and hope it will be okay someday.