#tuesday they did the exam and just said i need to get all my wisdom teeth out . this much i already knew but its so spensive :'-)

[cauldroncreations]

why did god think it would be so funny to give me a terrible terrible phobia of anything to do with losing teeth or tooth pain or infection while also forcing me to go through some of the most horrifying tooth related ailments

[acciomalfoy]

Tangled Roots (Neville Longbottom x Reader)

THIS STORY IS A COLLAB WITH THE EVER WONDERFUL @fromashescomephoenixes !! GO CHECK HER OUT !!

Summary: Professor Sprout is renowned for the scarcity of apprentices she accepts each year. In a surprising turn of events, the ever shy Neville Longbottom proves just why he’s in the house of red, and it certainly isn’t for his bravery.

“Y/n! Can you stay behind for a moment dear.” Professor Sprout called out to me as she dismissed the class, and I nodded eagerly. Rumour had it that Sprout was giving out two herbology apprenticeships. The past three years she hadn’t given any out, since she was extremely particular about who she mentored. I walked over shyly to the desk, and she smiled.

“Y/n, I was wondering what you were interested in doing after you left hogwarts?” All the fifth years had heard this too many times already, and I shrugged hopelessly.

“I have no idea, Professor.” I replied honestly. She nodded slowly.

“What subjects are you taking next year?” She asked.

“Advanced potions, herbology, divination, transfiguration and standard potions. The herbology will help majorly with my potions classes. Snape’s made it clear he only accepted the best, and I somehow got in.” I chatted excitedly. Snape could be an incredible teacher when he wanted to be, despite how much of a cow he was.

“Have you considered taking an apprenticeship with anyone?” Oh, Godric, this was it. She was about to ask me. 

“I’m hoping to be offered one, which is why I’m only taking five classes. It gives me flexibility.” I shivered in anticipation.

“I would like to offer you a herbology apprenticeship. You’ll be working alongside another student, and I’ll be your mentors. This is an incredible opportunity, and one that you shouldn’t take lightly. I don’t expect an answer now-“ For the first time in five years, I cut her off.

“I would be honoured, Professor! Honestly, it sounds fantastic!” She smiled at me.

“The apprenticeship will begin tonight. I know you’re only halfway through your fifth year, but I believe I have two of the best herbology students Hogwarts has ever seen, and I intend on taking advantage of that. The course will be incredibly dense, and incredibly hands on, but the payoff is worth it. As you said, this is a huge advantage in potions, and in the herbology class. If you’re still interested, come to this greenhouse at half past seven tonight.” I nodded, and before I could say another word she ushered me out the door. 

As I walked to potions, I pondered about who the other student would be. Would we be mentored at the same time? In my Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff herbology class, no one seemed exactly thrilled to be there. That meant it was a Gryffindor or Slytherin. Slim pickings, but I had a few friends in there. 

I slipped into the potions classroom undetected, and stealthily pulled out some parchment and a quill. I sat beside Harry, and he smiled at me. Snape continued his lecture, and I began writing down notes.

“Why’re you late?” Harry asked, and I grinned.

“Sprout offered me an apprenticeship!” I whispered excitedly. Snape paused, and so did we. When he continued, Harry spoke.

“That’s amazing! Neville’s doing the other one.” Neville. That’s who the hidden herbology genius was. 

“Longbottom?” Harry nodded. I didn’t know how I felt about Neville, but I suppose it didn’t matter. I caught his eye at the end of potions, and he flushed red. This was going to be interesting. 

I finished dinner early and made my way to the greenhouses. I knocked hesitantly, but I needn’t worry.

“Come in!” Professor Sprout called eagerly, and I walked in, shutting the door tightly behind me. Neville was already there, and I smiled at him. He looked away, and I shrugged.

“Welcome, Y/n. Today your classes both worked on the beautiful fanged geranium. As you both know, this is a garden plant, and is incredibly senile when taken care of. It’s fangs have many uses and properties, making them excellently versatile in potioneering. Y/n, make sure you write that down. I imagine you’ll be covering this in advanced, though Neville you needn’t worry. These shouldn’t appear on your exam, however if they do then you’ll have much more preparation than the others.” I scribbled across my parchment quickly, eager to take in as much as I could. Sprout continued, and before I knew it she was ushering us out of the classroom. 

“We will be meeting each night at half past seven. If you are unable to make it on a particular day, let me know the day prior.” Sprout shut the door.

“That was incredible!” I breathed as Neville and I stood outside the door. Neville nodded with a content sigh.

“The best! Can you believe we have another two and a half years of that?” We started walking, though our towers were on opposite sides of the castle. I cast a tempus as we walked, to see that it was half eleven.

“Rowena!” I exclaimed, and Neville increased his pace.

“Don’t worry, Neville. I’m a prefect. I’ll walk you back in case we run into anyone.” He slowed down enough for me to catch up.

“Isn’t the boy supposed to escort the girl?” He murmured.

“Wha-Oh!” I felt red creeping up my neck, and I involuntarily shivered. We walked in silence, my mind playing on what he had said. Neville Longbottom! I must have shared two words with him prior to this. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know the way from here. You’ll have to guide me.” I broke the silence, and Neville took the lead. For some strange reason, I was committing the way to Gryffindor tower to memory.

“Our portrait’s a fat lady who thinks she can sing. Impossible to miss her.” Sure enough, I could hear a voice cracking in an attempt to reach a high note. I laughed.

“Is it always hear her before you see her?” Neville laughed as well. 

“S’ppose so.” The warbling voice got louder and louder as we went up a staircase, and I finally met her.

“Oh! Hello, you two lovebirds. Is that Neville? Gosh, you’re dating a pretty little thing, aren’t ya?” She laughed and stared at us expectantly.

“No! We aren’t dating.” Neville shook his head, and she giggled. “Horntail.” His voice dropped, but I still heard it. The portrait swung open, and Neville looked back at me.

“Goodnight. Thanks for walking me back.” I smiled at him.

“No worries. See you tomorrow.” 

-

“The new seating plan is as follows.” Flitwick stood in the middle of the room, with his students standing in front of him.

“Granger, Boot, Longbottom, L/n, Potter, Goldstein..” His voice continued, but I didn’t need to listen. I high-fived Harry, and I smiled tentatively at Neville. He gave me a small smile back, and I figured it was due to his shy nature.

“Neville, did you finish Sprout’s assignment?” I had finished it, albeit with difficulty. He nodded.

“Yeah, it was tricky but Hermione helped me a bit.” Hermione overheard and smiled at us. I nodded in return. It was a wonder how Hermione didn’t snag one of the apprenticeships, considering she was the smartest witch in Hogwarts at the moment.

“I struggled with it, like, majorly. This is her first chance to assess us and I had no clue what I was doing. I think I might quit the apprenticeship.” It was a horrible thought, but it was the truth. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for a herbology apprenticeship.

“No way! Sprout offered it to you over Hermione, even! She thinks you can do it, so you have to at least try. I had no clue where to start, but by the end I was really happy with it.” Neville stared at me with his doe eyes and I felt something inside me change. I found myself slowly smiling.

“I guess. I’ll give it another week, I suppose.” Neville smiled back and the charms class went on.

All throughout the day I thought about my first herbology assignment. I knew it wasn’t to standard. I had no clue where to start, and it had been messy and rushed. At the end of advanced potions, I caught Hermione.

“Hey! Hermione! Neville said you helped him with the herbology thing, any chance I can get some wisdom?” I asked hopefully. She frowned.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I have a class now, and I tutor on Tuesday nights. Is it due tonight?” I nodded, knowing I was fucked.

“Why don’t you ask Neville? I’m sure he’d be happy to help. Bye!” I watched her retreating figure before she was lost in the crowd. There was a reason I hadn’t asked Neville for help, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. 

“Hey, Y/n!” Harry nudged my shoulder, and I fell into step beside him.

“Hey, Harry. Are you doing any apprenticeships this year?” Harry looked at me for a long time before he spoke.

“Kinda. It’s sort of a secret.” I squeezed his hand briefly before letting go.

“That’s cool! Are you struggling as much as I am? I’ve failed the first assignment already, and Hermione can’t even help me!” Harry laughed, at least someone thought my life was funny.

“Yeah, I definitely am. Snape’s my mentor. He’s a right cow, I want to shove my head through the desk every time he speaks.” We both laughed, and it was nice to have a friend.

“I’m going to the library. Care to join me?” I couldn’t do my herbology first, since at least I had done some of it. The rest of my subjects, annoyingly, gave me enough homework for a week due in a day.

“Sure! Only if I can copy your notes for both potions and transfiguration.” I shook his outstretched hand.

“Deal.” As we turned a corner, Malfoy and his goons approached us.

“L/n and Potter. What a pretty pair.” Harry tensed beside me.

“Wow, thanks! I’ve always thought you and Harry were the prettier pair, honestly.” Parkinson caught my eye, and for some reason she smiled.

“Wh-What?” Harry and Malfoy both stuttered out a response. I grabbed Harry’s hand and pushed past them before laughing. 

“When’s dinner again?” I asked. Harry shook his head.

“Okay. One, you’ve been at this castle for five years and your dumbass can’t remember what time dinner is. Two, what the fuck was that?” We entered the library, and Pince glanced over at us before returning to her book.

“It shut him up, didn’t it?” I whispered, sliding my stuff onto a table. Harry sat next to me.

“At my expense!” Harry argued.

“And his. He didn’t even notice it was about you. Here’s my standard and advanced potions notes from today. Standard is the procedure for brewing the fake amortentia, and I can’t even remember what advanced was. Something about the forest?” Okay, maybe I should have paid more attention in advanced. In my defence, Harry paid even less attention. Harry’s face was still red, and I wondered why he was so fixated on a comment. 

“You’re lucky you’re funny or I wouldn’t grace you with my presence.” Harry huffed as he pulled out his parchment and quills, and I handed him my notes. I then pulled out my herbology textbook and notes from the previous lesson. There was a lot.

“Blimey! Who would have thought herbology was so annoying?” Harry exclaimed as he stared at my desk, and I shrugged.

“It’s different when you like the subject, ya know?” We gradually shifted to working in silence, and the only sound was the occasional page turn and the rough scratch of quill on fresh parchment. I didn’t know how long had passed, but I did know I had finished the work for all my other subjects. Herbology had to be done eventually. 

“Tempus.” I murmured, and I had exactly an hour before meeting with Sprout.

“Fuck.” I said, and Harry nodded.

“Mood.” He said as I opened up the textbook and flicked through the index, but nothing was catching my eye. A light tap on my shoulder made me turn around, and I smiled when I saw Neville.

“Hermione mentioned you might need my help with the first assignment? I’ve got a copy of mine here, and we can write a rough draft of yours. A self-inking quill can do the rest, right?” I stared in shock. Never  before had I heard Neville speak so many words at once, let alone to me. 

“Um-yeah. Sure. Thanks for the help. Did you want to grab a seat from that table?” I gestured to a nearby empty table, and Neville headed over there. Harry was gesturing wildly when I turned back around.

“You like Neville.” He accused me, and I shook my head.

“I barely know the bloke Harry.” I defended, but I began to wonder. I could very easily see myself falling in love with a guy like Neville, who loved herbology and all magical creatures, who smiled like he was the luckiest guy on the planet, and who loved his friends with everything he had. I didn’t quite know what my feelings were, and now they were an even bigger mess than I had initially thought.

“I started mine with an introduction on who initially discovered the fanged geranium, a muggle-born wizard Charles Heritier. He isn’t in any of our herbology textbooks, so I had to use a book on the success of wizards amongst muggles. He has like, half a page, but it was enough. Here.” Neville arrived and pushed a book towards me, and I picked it up, flicking through the pages. 

“Thanks. Charles Heritier, that sounds strangely familiar.” I said, and I began jotting down the beginning of my essay. 

“Probably because Charles also discovered geraniums. He must’ve had a thing for them, right?” I quietly laughed at the unexpected joke, and quickly wrapped up my introduction.

“You did the first body on Tilden Toots I’m guessing. She went on to discover how vast the use for fanged geraniums was, and revolutionised the use of the plant in potions.” I didn’t wait for Neville’s response as I kept writing.

“You barely need help at all.” He accused me, and I laughed again.

“You’re kidding, right? The intro is the hardest part, it sets the scene for the whole essay.” 

We continued working on the essay, and at some point our arms had begun touching, our heads had drawn closer and our smiles wider. When we had finished the essay, I looked at the time.

“Oh, Rowena! We have got to hurry, Nev!” I began packing up my belongings when I realised a certain bespectacled Gryffindor had disappeared.

“Where did Harry go?” I asked, and Neville shrugged, as clueless as I was.

“No time to find out! Sprout is going to have our heads!” We flew out of the secluded corner of the library that Pince never seemed to check and into the corridor. I was already panting.

“Godric, am I unfit.” I sighed and Neville was struggling beside me.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have left it to the last minute.” He said between jagged breaths, and if I had had the energy to reply, I would have agreed. We arrived at the greenhouse a minute late, and Sprout had her hands on her hips.

“Honestly, you two. It’s scarcely been a week and you’re already late. Hurry along now, we’re beginning preparations for our case study on Lykos roots. Yes, Mr Longbottom, you heard me correctly. I received permission from Professor Snape and Headmaster Dumbledore, not to worry.” She bustled around, and Neville followed as I dumped my bag on my desk. 

“Today’s lesson will solely be focussed on studying the types of potions that Lykos roots play roles in. Arguably the most important of these being the Wolfsbane potion. Can either of you tell me every ingredient in a Wolfsbane potion? And how each ingredient reacts?” 

-

“Hey.” I sat down with a huff and Harry nodded, mouth full of food.

“Hmph.” He chewed quickly. “Hey. You look right tired. You sure you’re sleeping okay?” Harry said, and I piled some fruit onto my plate.

“Yes, dad. I’m sleeping okay. This apprenticeship is just super intense.” Harry snickered.

“The apprenticeship, or your relationship with a certain Longbottom.” He said, and I death-glared him.

“For the last time, there is nothing going on between Neville and I.” I huffed again and chewed the handful of blueberries on my plate.

“Really? Then why did he ask if we were dating? Why did he ask if he could use the map?” Harry smirked and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re annoying. Remind me never to sit next to you again, will you?” Harry only laughed, and things were looking okay.

“I’m going to the library. You coming?” I said, and Harry shook his head quickly.

“After being forced to watch you and Neville flirt for almost an hour? I’d sooner watch Ron and Hermione.” We laughed as I stood up, my eyes going to the very pair. As usual, Ron was as red as a tomato. Surprisingly, Hermione was also blushing, making me wonder if they had heard him. My favourite spell revealed it was 6, and the library was open until 9 tonight. 

I headed up, and before long found myself struggling to continue reading. Herbology of the 19th century sure could be a mood killer. Little was written about the Lykos root, and it seemed that this had been a complete waste of time. Well, I wouldn’t exactly call my nap a waste of time. 

“Y/n,” I felt a gentle tug near my elbow. No one's hands were quite as soft as my favourite Gryffindor’s, and I sighed.

“Y/n it’s time for our apprenticeship again,” My head felt impossibly heavy to lift up, but another tug of my elbow forced me to open my eyes.

“Godric it feels like midnight,” I yawned. Neville simply nodded while stacking my books into a pile. “Really! I can get those,” I felt my face flushing as I reached for my books, but he gently swatted my hand away. 

“It’s no trouble Y/n,” he smiled softly, and when our eyes met I knew I was in for it.

-

Another day, another lesson. Last night Sprout had promised that we would truly begin our notes for the Lykos roots in preparation of what was to come. Whatever it was, we were completely in the dark about it, Sprout was keeping it a secret.

“As you both have learned this past week the Lykos Root, which is an essential ingredient in Wolfsbane potion, will be maturing on the next full moon.” Professor Sprout lectured. I nod, hoping I look interested. “The full moon happens to be tomorrow, and I have an incredibly special opportunity for you both,” Neville, who is three steps ahead of me tonight, has a glowing look in his eyes. “Tomorrow night you will both camp out here and harvest the root. I recommend lots of blankets and hot chocolate,” Suddenly all of this registers, and it’s all I can do not to groan at another night of little sleep. 

As we exited the green house Neville brushed my elbow. Strangely, I felt warm for a moment while he began talking to me. 

“I can take care of the preparations for tomorrow,” he paused trying to gauge my reaction. “I’ve seen how hard you’ve been working. You know I’m taking less classes,” 

As much as I want to jig and shout that of course he can do everything to get ready, I remember my manners. 

“What if I take care of the snacks? I may or may not know exactly where the kitchens are,” I throw in a wink as a strange burst of energy powers me to the door of my common room. Being friends with Harry really does have its perks. Neville nods and waves goodnight, realising it’s rather late. For a moment I think he might want to say something else, but he simply turns on his heel. 

-

That night I walked down to the greenhouse at twilight. The gentle rising rays of the moon kissed my face, and I felt something other than excitement rise in my stomach at the thought of harvesting these roots, an experience derived to many.

I could hear the echo of heavy footsteps, and when I turned around I saw Neville pop around a corner. He nearly stumbles on stray stones a couple times, but manages to stay upright.

“Hey,” I said quietly as he came closer.

“Hullo,” Neville grinned, and for a moment I found myself admiring his smile before I snapped out of it. He’s just Neville! I reprimand myself before tugging out the thermos I brought.

“I’ve got plenty of hot chocolate!” I said, blushing for an unknown reason.

“Ah, good,” he nodded. “I already set up the blankets and everything,” We enjoyed idle talk about his discoveries with the mimbulus mimbletonia until we reached the greenhouse.

There right next to the lykos root is a large pile of fluffy blankets and pillows of varying house colours. Candles were flying above the space similar to how they did in the great hall. This must have taken poor Neville ages.

“Wow,” I breathed as I pictured how well I could sleep here.

“Is it alright Y/n? I know it’s not as comfy as an actual bed, but it should be okay,” He hesitated, a blush gracing his cheeks. “I just set up one giant pile of blankets, but I can make a seperate one if you prefer. I’m sorry I know it’s awful!” He continued to ramble and blush until I cut him off.

“Neville!” He paused. “It looks lovely,” I found a warm blush on my cheeks as well.

“I’m glad you like it,” he whispered. We sat down on the cozy cushions and began to plan how best to handle the harvesting. Lykos root can only be harvested between midnight and 1 A.M during the full moon. However, there are a couple issues. 

According to our research, the root is manageable until it is in direct moonlight, yet as soon as it is touched by a speck of moonlight, it begins to wriggle and attack. Once harvested, it must mature in the moonlight for two hours.

Unfortunately, there are tons of these plants, so it seems like we’ll have to work separately. Neville looked slightly disappointed once we decided this, and suggested that we do the first few together. I only nodded in response, my head still spinning from the effort Neville had put into our bedding situation. 

Yet it is still about three hours before we can do anything with the plant. And we’ve already prepared the baskets that will hold the root with a magic barrier. I felt the warm air of the greenhouse inviting me to rest, and though I tried, I couldn’t hold back a yawn. 

“You can rest if you want to y/n,” Neville said. Although it’s a tempting offer, my stubbornness wins out. That, and the strangely enticing thought of getting to spend more time with Neville.

“No, it’s alright. Let’s just talk or something so I can stay awake,” I said, and Neville seemed as happy as I was about my plan.

“Why do you love herbology so much?” Neville asked after a considerable silence. Naturally, I was dying to ask him the same question. Not many people were as dedicated to herbology as we were. Most kids squirm away from the dirt, flobberworms, and deadly plants. 

“My grandma had the most beautiful garden,” I shared. There’s something about Neville that feels trustworthy. So even though I never usually share much about my family at all, I continue. “When my dad left, I ended spending a lot of time with her. And whenever,” I paused, feeling a little emotional, even though I’m not a crier. “Whenever I felt sad the garden was always there, reminding me that magic and love is real.” I sighed slightly. The love that my grandma put into that garden was the kind of love I longed to have from someone...

“That’s how I feel sometimes,” Neville responded looking a little teary. “I know my parents love me, but it’s- well it’s hard,” I could only nod. I’ve never been good at emotional discussions. I guess that’s a fault I have as a Ravenclaw, I approach everything analytically. 

And so we continue to talk while we wait. Some of it about herbology, some about friends, some about our favourite colours. Neville is so easy to talk to. We have the longest conversation that I’ve probably had in a long time. 

Luckily, the previous tempus charm I set alerts us that it’s time to begin the harvest. For the full hour we are both rushing around the greenhouse, careful not to step on each other’s toes. It’s a whirlwind of activity but somehow we harvest all of the roots.

Finally we’re able to lie down to sleep. Our different towers both look so far from here we agree to simply sleep in the blankets Neville brought down. We settle into our separate makeshift beds. Although it is so cramped, they are very nearly just one large bed. Letting a peaceful sleep wash over me, I slowly drift off.

-

The dawn sun filtered softly through the greenhouse windows. I didn’t want to open my eyes, and I didn’t know how long I was laying there, basking in the soft sunlight only provided by a sunrise. As I slowly became more aware of my surroundings, I remembered where I was, and the steady rise and fall of the chest below me. My eyes shoot open and I realise somehow Neville and I ended up a tangled mess of limbs throughout the night. I stood up as quickly as I could without waking him, and I slowly stretched. I didn’t want Neville waking up and getting the wrong idea.

Or would it be the right idea? Honestly it’s just too early for these kinds of thoughts. I folded up the Ravenclaw blankets I was meant to sleep in, and began to write a note for Neville. While I’m thinking of what to write, Neville’s sleepy voice calls out, and Godric did it make my heart race.

“Y/n, is it morning already?” He props his head up. The sun makes the pool of honey in his eyes glow brighter. A warm blush was already creeping up my neck so I turned away.

“Yeah Nev, it is. I’m just heading down to breakfast now.” I turned on my heel and made my way out, but before I could reach the door Neville interrupted me.

“Oh great! I’ll come too!” I smiled, although I’m not sure why! I certainly don’t have a crush on Neville Longbottom.

We rushed to the Great Hall, hungry from all of the work we did last night. I turned to sit at the Ravenclaw table, because right now I simply can’t face Harry. 

“Morning Luna,” I smile slightly before grabbing a fresh croissant.

“You look chipper this morning,” Luna smiles. “I heard you had to study with Neville?” I nodded as my mouth was full of buttery croissant. “So when is your first date?” I nearly choked, so Luna patted my back firmly. 

“Oh, er,” I stumbled. I shouldn’t be this nervous! But I don’t want to make Neville think I’ve been spreading rumours.

“Oh it’s just a crush!” Luna giggled. Looking at her I realise.. I don’t want to object. She tends to be right about these things, and I find that she is right again. Blushing even harder now, I mumbled about all of the homework I have. She only giggled again before taking a bite of her toast.

-

“Don’t look at me like that.” I sighed as I slid into my charms seat. Harry only raised his eyebrows higher, and I absentmindedly noticed Neville hadn’t arrived yet.

“He said you fell asleep under the stars. Do you realise how romantic and utterly adorable that is?” Harry continued to stare at me incredulously, and I pulled out my parchment paper.

“We fell asleep in a greenhouse because we were too tired to walk back to our towers. You’re starting to sound a little too much like our favourite reporter.” Harry wrinkled his nose at the mention of Skeeter, and I smiled as Neville sat down on the other side of me.

“Hey Y/n! You’ll never believe what just happened.” He exclaimed happily, and I didn’t miss the way Harry stared at me.

“What happened, Nev? Don’t tell me the Lykos root’s weren’t harvestable? I did not lose a good night’s sleep for nothing!” I sighed at the thought of having to harvest the roots for another night, but he shook his head.

“I saw Sprout at breakfast and she said that she had never seen Lykos roots harvested so well! She said she told Snape and that he’s going to be using all the plants from our greenhouse moving forward! Sprout said that there was a real possibility of us opening up an ingredient shop that specialises in plants!” He declared, and I stared, open mouthed. Snape, of all the professors, approved of our ingredients? I ignored Harry’s eye roll and I cheered.

“This is awesome, Nev!” I high-fived him, and he grinned back.

“Have you considered doing advanced potions? That would really help if you were planning on becoming a supplier.” I asked, and he shook his head.

“If anyone but Snape were the teacher, I definitely would.” He said, and I got a strange flashback to third year. More specifically, to Neville’s boggart.

“I totally get it! You never know, maybe we’ll get a new teacher next year. It’ll be okay.” I faced the front as Flitwick began his lesson, and I felt Neville’s arm brush mine. I smiled softly, and nudged it back. Maybe it would be okay.

—

I stood at the exit of our shop, our very own creation, and slowly flipped the open sign to closed.

“Can you believe we did it?” Neville’s arms were wrapped around my waist, and he leaned his head on my shoulder. We watched in comfortable silence as the witches and wizards gradually apparated out of Diagon Alley for the day. When the last witch vanished, I turned to face him.

“If I’m honest? Absolutely not.” I laughed into the chaste kiss that he gave me, and we wandered further into our shop, our little dream.

“Do you want to do the cash float?” He asked, and I wrinkled my nose.

“My dear, sweet Nev. You know that I’d rather work at Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes for a month than do the cash float. I’ll take inventory stock.” He kissed me again, and I smiled.

Never would I have thought I would be so happy with life as this. Never would I have thought I would be so loved.

Never would I have thought that a perfect night would be a supper with Neville, followed by cuddles on our worn maroon couch. 

Never would I have thought that Neville Longbottom was my soulmate. I wouldn’t live a life with anyone but him.

[fromashescomephoenixes]

Tangled Roots

I’d like to say thank you, and give credit to @derrysdenbrough who collaborated with me on this. They were fantastic to work with, and please check out their AMAZING work!

warnings: none. just fluff and cuteness.

word count: 4.5k +

summary: you and neville are chosen by professor sprout to participate in a treasured apprenticeship. Will it bridge your friendship into something more?

-

“Y/n! Can you stay behind for a moment dear.” Professor Sprout called out to me as she dismissed the class, and I nodded eagerly. Rumour had it that Sprout was giving out two herbology apprenticeships. The past three years she hadn’t given any out, since she was extremely particular about who she mentored. I walked over shyly to the desk, and she smiled.

“Y/n, I was wondering what you were interested in doing after you left hogwarts?” All the fifth years had heard this too many times already, and I shrugged hopelessly.

“I have no idea, Professor.” I replied honestly. She nodded slowly.

“What subjects are you taking next year?” She asked.

“Advanced potions, herbology, divination, transfiguration and standard potions. The herbology will help majorly with my potions classes. Snape’s made it clear he only accepted the best, and I somehow got in.” I chatted excitedly. Snape could be an incredible teacher when he wanted to be, despite how much of a cow he was.

“Have you considered taking an apprenticeship with anyone?” Oh, Godric, this was it. She was about to ask me. 

“I’m hoping to be offered one, which is why I’m only taking five classes. It gives me flexibility.” I shivered in anticipation.

“I would like to offer you a herbology apprenticeship. You’ll be working alongside another student, and I’ll be your mentors. This is an incredible opportunity, and one that you shouldn’t take lightly. I don’t expect an answer now-“ For the first time in five years, I cut her off.

“I would be honoured, Professor! Honestly, it sounds fantastic!” She smiled at me.

“The apprenticeship will begin tonight. I know you’re only halfway through your fifth year, but I believe I have two of the best herbology students Hogwarts has ever seen, and I intend on taking advantage of that. The course will be incredibly dense, and incredibly hands on, but the payoff is worth it. As you said, this is a huge advantage in potions, and in the herbology class. If you’re still interested, come to this greenhouse at half past seven tonight.” I nodded, and before I could say another word she ushered me out the door. 

As I walked to potions, I pondered about who the other student would be. Would we be mentored at the same time? In my Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff herbology class, no one seemed exactly thrilled to be there. That meant it was a Gryffindor or Slytherin. Slim pickings, but I had a few friends in there. 

I slipped into the potions classroom undetected, and stealthily pulled out some parchment and a quill. I sat beside Harry, and he smiled at me. Snape continued his lecture, and I began writing down notes.

“Why’re you late?” Harry asked, and I grinned.

“Sprout offered me an apprenticeship!” I whispered excitedly. Snape paused, and so did we. When he continued, Harry spoke.

“That’s amazing! Neville’s doing the other one.” Neville. That’s who the hidden herbology genius was. 

“Longbottom?” Harry nodded. I didn’t know how I felt about Neville, but I suppose it didn’t matter. I caught his eye at the end of potions, and he flushed red. This was going to be interesting. 

I finished dinner early and made my way to the greenhouses. I knocked hesitantly, but I needn’t worry.

“Come in!” Professor Sprout called eagerly, and I walked in, shutting the door tightly behind me. Neville was already there, and I smiled at him. He looked away, and I shrugged.

“Welcome, Y/n. Today your classes both worked on the beautiful fanged geranium. As you both know, this is a garden plant, and is incredibly senile when taken care of. It’s fangs have many uses and properties, making them excellently versatile in potioneering. Y/n, make sure you write that down. I imagine you’ll be covering this in advanced, though Neville you needn’t worry. These shouldn’t appear on your exam, however if they do then you’ll have much more preparation than the others.” I scribbled across my parchment quickly, eager to take in as much as I could. Sprout continued, and before I knew it she was ushering us out of the classroom. “We will be meeting each night at half past seven. If you are unable to make it on a particular day, let me know the day prior.” Sprout shut the door.

“That was incredible!” I breathed as Neville and I stood outside the door. Neville nodded with a content sigh.

“The best! Can you believe we have another two and a half years of that?” We started walking together, though our towers were on opposite sides of the castle. I cast a tempus as we walked, to see that it was half eleven.

“Rowena!” I exclaimed, and Neville increased his pace. “Don’t worry, Neville. I’m a prefect. I’ll walk you back in case we run into anyone.” He slowed down enough for me to catch up.

“Isn’t the boy supposed to escort the girl?” He murmured.

“Wha-Oh!” I felt red creeping up my neck, and I involuntarily shivered. We walked in silence, my mind playing on what he had said. Neville Longbottom! I must have shared two words with him prior to this.  “I’m afraid I don’t know the way from here. You’ll have to guide me.” I broke the silence, and Neville took the lead. For some strange reason, I was committing the way to Gryffindor tower to memory.

“Our portrait’s a fat lady who thinks she can sing. Impossible to miss her.” Sure enough, I could hear a voice cracking in an attempt to reach a high note. I laughed.

“Is it always hear her before you see her?” Neville laughed as well. 

“S’pose so.” The warbling voice got louder and louder as we went up a staircase, and I finally met her.

“Oh! Hello, you two lovebirds. Is that Neville? Gosh, you’re dating a pretty little thing, aren’t ya?” She laughed and stared at us expectantly.

“No! We aren’t dating.” Neville shook his head, and she giggled. “Horntail.” His voice dropped, but I still heard it. The portrait swung open, and Neville looked back at me.

“Goodnight. Thanks for walking me back.” I smiled at him.

“No worries. See you tomorrow.” 

-

“The new seating plan is as follows.” Flitwick stood in the middle of the room, with his students standing in front of him.

“Granger, Boot, Longbottom, L/n, Potter, Goldstein..” His voice continued, but I didn’t need to listen. I high-fived Harry, and I smiled tentatively at Neville. He gave me a small smile back, and I figured it was due to his shy nature.

“Neville, did you finish Sprout’s assignment?” I had finished it, albeit with difficulty. He nodded.

“Yeah, it was tricky but Hermione helped me a bit.” Hermione overheard and smiled at us. I nodded in return. It was a wonder how Hermione didn’t snag one of the apprenticeships, considering she was the smartest witch in Hogwarts at the moment.

“I struggled with it, like, majorly. This is her first chance to assess us and I had no clue what I was doing. I think I might quit the apprenticeship.” It was a horrible thought, but it was the truth. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for a herbology apprenticeship.

“No way! Sprout offered it to you over Hermione, even! She thinks you can do it, so you have to at least try. I had no clue where to start, but by the end I was really happy with it.” Neville stared at me with his doe eyes and I felt something inside me change. I found myself slowly smiling.

“I guess. I’ll give it another week, I suppose.” Neville smiled back and the charms class went on.

All throughout the day I thought about my first herbology assignment. I knew it wasn’t to standard. I had no clue where to start, and it had been messy and rushed. At the end of advanced potions, I caught Hermione.

“Hey! Hermione! Neville said you helped him with the herbology thing, any chance I can get some wisdom?” I asked hopefully. She frowned.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I have a class now, and I tutor on Tuesday nights. Is it due tonight?” I nodded, knowing I was fucked. “ Why don’t you ask Neville? I’m sure he’d be happy to help. Bye!” I watched her retreating figure before she was lost in the crowd. There was a reason I hadn’t asked Neville for help, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. 

“Hey, Y/n!” Harry nudged my shoulder, and I fell into step beside him.

“Hey, Harry. Are you doing any apprenticeships this year?” Harry looked at me for a long time before he spoke.

“Kinda. It’s sort of a secret.” I squeezed his hand briefly before letting go.

“That’s cool! Are you struggling as much as I am? I’ve failed the first assignment already, and Hermione can’t even help me!” Harry laughed, at least someone thought my life was funny.

“Yeah, I definitely am. Snape’s my mentor. He’s a right cow, I want to shove my head through the desk every time he speaks.” We both laughed, and it was nice to have a friend.

“I’m going to the library. Care to join me?” I couldn’t do my herbology first, since at least I had done some of it. The rest of my subjects, annoyingly, gave me enough homework for a week due in a day.

“Sure! Only if I can copy your notes for both potions and transfiguration.” I shook his outstretched hand.

“Deal.” As we turned a corner, Malfoy and his goons approached us.

“L/n and Potter. What a pretty pair.” Harry tensed beside me.

“Wow, thanks! I’ve always thought you and Harry were the prettier pair, honestly.” Parkinson caught my eye, and for some reason she smiled.

“Wh-What?” Harry and Malfoy both stuttered out a response. I grabbed Harry’s hand and pushed past them before laughing. 

“When’s dinner again?” I asked. Harry shook his head.

“Okay. One, you’ve been at this castle for five years and your dumbass can’t remember what time dinner is. Two, what the fuck was that?” We entered the library, and Pince glanced over at us before returning to her book.

“It shut him up, didn’t it?” I whispered, sliding my stuff onto a table. Harry sat next to me.

“At my expense!” Harry argued.

“And his. He didn’t even notice it was about you. Here’s my standard and advanced potions notes from today. Standard is the procedure for brewing the fake amortentia, and I can’t even remember what advanced was. Something about the forest?” Okay, maybe I should have paid more attention in advanced. In my defence, Harry paid even less attention. Harry’s face was still red, and I wondered why he was so fixated on a comment. 

“You’re lucky you’re funny or I wouldn’t grace you with my presence.” Harry huffed as he pulled out his parchment and quills, and I handed him my notes. I then pulled out my herbology textbook and notes from the previous lesson. There was a lot.

“Blimey! Who would have thought herbology was so annoying?” Harry exclaimed as he stared at my desk, and I shrugged.

“It’s different when you like the subject, ya know?” We gradually shifted to working in silence, and the only sound was the occasional page turn and the rough scratch of quill on fresh parchment. I didn’t know how long had passed, but I did know I had finished the work for all my other subjects. Herbology had to be done eventually. 

“Tempus.” I murmured, and I had exactly an hour before meeting with Sprout.

“Fuck.” I said, and Harry nodded.

“Mood.” He said as I opened up the textbook and flicked through the index, but nothing was catching my eye. A light tap on my shoulder made me turn around, and I smiled when I saw Neville.

“Hermione mentioned you might need my help with the first assignment? I’ve got a copy of mine here, and we can write a rough draft of yours. A self-inking quill can do the rest, right?” I stared in shock. Never  before had I heard Neville speak so many words at once, let alone to me. 

“Um-yeah. Sure. Thanks for the help. Did you want to grab a seat from that table?” I gestured to a nearby empty table, and Neville headed over there. Harry was gesturing wildly when I turned back around.

“You like Neville.” He accused me, and I shook my head.

“I barely know the bloke Harry.” I defended, but I began to wonder. I could very easily see myself falling in love with a guy like Neville, who loved herbology and all magical creatures, who smiled like he was the luckiest guy on the planet, and who loved his friends with everything he had. I didn’t quite know what my feelings were, and now they were an even bigger mess than I had initially thought.

“I started mine with an introduction on who initially discovered the fanged geranium, a muggle-born wizard Charles Heritier. He isn’t in any of our herbology textbooks, so I had to use a book on the success of wizards amongst muggles. He has like, half a page, but it was enough. Here.” Neville arrived and pushed a book towards me, and I picked it up, flicking through the pages. 

“Thanks. Charles Heritier, that sounds strangely familiar.” I said, and I began jotting down the beginning of my essay. 

“Probably because Charles also discovered geraniums. He must’ve had a thing for them, right?” I quietly laughed at the unexpected joke, and quickly wrapped up my introduction.

“You did the first body on Tilden Toots I’m guessing. She went on to discover how vast the use for fanged geraniums was, and revolutionised the use of the plant in potions.” I didn’t wait for Neville’s response as I kept writing.

“You barely need help at all.” He accused me, and I laughed again.

“You’re kidding, right? The intro is the hardest part, it sets the scene for the whole essay.” 

We continued working on the essay, and at some point our arms had begun touching, our heads had drawn closer and our smiles wider. When we had finished the essay, I looked at the time.

“Oh, Rowena! We have got to hurry, Nev!” I began packing up my belongings when I realised a certain bespectacled Gryffindor had disappeared.

“Where did Harry go?” I asked, and Neville shrugged, as clueless as I was.

“No time to find out! Sprout is going to have our heads!” We flew out of the secluded corner of the library that Pince never seemed to check and into the corridor. I was already panting.

“Godric, am I unfit.” I sighed and Neville was struggling beside me.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have left it to the last minute.” He said between jagged breaths, and if I had had the energy to reply, I would have agreed. We arrived at the greenhouse a minute late, and Sprout had her hands on her hips.

“Honestly, you two. It’s scarcely been a week and you’re already late. Hurry along now, we’re beginning preparations for our case study on Lykos roots. Yes, Mr Longbottom, you heard me correctly. I received permission from Professor Snape and Headmaster Dumbledore, not to worry.” She bustled around, and Neville followed as I dumped my bag on my desk. 

“Today’s lesson will solely be focussed on studying the types of potions that Lykos roots play roles in. Arguably the most important of these being the Wolfsbane potion. Can either of you tell me every ingredient in a Wolfsbane potion? And how each ingredient reacts?” 

-

“Hey.” I sat down with a huff and Harry nodded, mouth full of food.

“Hmph.” He chewed quickly. “Hey. You look right tired. You sure you’re sleeping okay?” Harry said, and I piled some fruit onto my plate.

“Yes, dad. I’m sleeping okay. This apprenticeship is just super intense.” Harry snickered.

“The apprenticeship, or your relationship with a certain Longbottom.” He said, and I death-glared him.

“For the last time, there is nothing going on between Neville and I.” I huffed again and chewed the handful of blueberries on my plate.

“Really? Then why did he ask if we were dating? Why did he ask if he could use the map?” Harry smirked and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re annoying. Remind me never to sit next to you again, will you?” Harry only laughed, and things were looking okay.

“I’m going to the library. You coming?” I said, and Harry shook his head quickly.

“After being forced to watch you and Neville flirt for almost an hour? I’d sooner watch Ron and Hermione.” We laughed as I stood up, my eyes going to the very pair. As usual, Ron was as red as a tomato. Surprisingly, Hermione was also blushing, making me wonder if they had heard him. My favourite spell revealed it was 6, and the library was open until 9 tonight. 

I headed up, and before long found myself struggling to continue reading. Herbology of the 19th century sure could be a mood killer. Little was written about the Lykos root, and it seemed that this had been a complete waste of time. Well, I wouldn’t exactly call my nap a waste of time. 

“Y/n,” I felt a gentle tug near my elbow. No one's hands were quite as soft as my favourite Gryffindor’s, and I sighed.

“Y/n it’s time for our apprenticeship again,” My head felt impossibly heavy to lift up, but another tug of my elbow forced me to open my eyes.

“Godric it feels like midnight,” I yawned. Neville simply nodded while stacking my books into a pile. “Really! I can get those,” I felt my face flushing as I reached for my books, but he gently swatted my hand away. 

“It’s no trouble Y/n,” he smiled softly, and when our eyes met I knew I was in for it.

-

Another day, another lesson. Last night Sprout had promised that we would truly begin our notes for the Lykos roots in preparation of what was to come. Whatever it was, we were completely in the dark about it, Sprout was keeping it a secret.

“As you both have learned this past week the Lykos Root, which is an essential ingredient in Wolfsbane potion, will be maturing on the next full moon.” Professor Sprout lectured. I nod, hoping I look interested. “The full moon happens to be tomorrow, and I have an incredibly special opportunity for you both,” Neville, who is three steps ahead of me tonight, has a glowing look in his eyes. “Tomorrow night you will both camp out here and harvest the root. I recommend lots of blankets and hot chocolate,” Suddenly all of this registers, and it’s all I can do not to groan at another night of little sleep. 

As we exited the green house Neville brushed my elbow. Strangely, I felt warm for a moment while he began talking to me. 

“I can take care of the preparations for tomorrow,” he paused trying to gauge my reaction. “I’ve seen how hard you’ve been working. You know I’m taking less classes,” 

As much as I want to jig and shout that of course he can do everything to get ready, I remember my manners. 

“What if I take care of the snacks? I may or may not know exactly where the kitchens are,” I throw in a wink as a strange burst of energy powers me to the door of my common room. Being friends with Harry really does have its perks. Neville nods and waves goodnight, realising it’s rather late. For a moment I think he might want to say something else, but he simply turns on his heel. 

-

That night I walked down to the greenhouse at twilight. The gentle rising rays of the moon kissed my face, and I felt something other than excitement rise in my stomach at the thought of harvesting these roots, an experience derived to many.

I could hear the echo of heavy footsteps, and when I turned around I saw Neville pop around a corner. He nearly stumbles on stray stones a couple times, but manages to stay upright.

“Hey,” I said quietly as he came closer.

“Hullo,” Neville grinned, and for a moment I found myself admiring his smile before I snapped out of it. He’s just Neville! I reprimand myself before tugging out the thermos I brought.

“I’ve got plenty of hot chocolate!” I said, blushing for an unknown reason.

“Ah, good,” he nodded. “I already set up the blankets and everything,” We enjoyed idle talk about his discoveries with the mimbulus mimbletonia until we reached the greenhouse.

There, right next to the lykos root is a large pile of fluffy blankets and pillows of varying house colours. Candles were flying above the space similar to how they did in the great hall. This must have taken poor Neville ages.

“Wow,” I breathed as I pictured how well I could sleep here.

“Is it alright Y/n? I know it’s not as comfy as an actual bed, but it should be okay,” He hesitated, a blush gracing his cheeks. “I just set up one giant pile of blankets, but I can make a seperate one if you prefer. I’m sorry I know it’s awful!” He continued to ramble and blush until I cut him off.

“Neville!” He paused. “It looks lovely,” I found a warm blush on my cheeks as well.

“I’m glad you like it,” he whispered. We sat down on the cozy cushions and began to plan how best to handle the harvesting. Lykos root can only be harvested between midnight and 1 A.M during the full moon. However, there are a couple issues. 

According to our research, the root is manageable until it is in direct moonlight, yet as soon as it is touched by a speck of moonlight, it begins to wriggle and attack. Once harvested, it must mature in the moonlight for two hours. Unfortunately, there are tons of these plants, so it seems like we’ll have to work separately. Neville looked slightly disappointed once we decided this, and suggested that we do the first few together. I only nodded in response, my head still spinning from the effort Neville had put into our bedding situation.

Yet it is still about three hours before we can do anything with the plant. And we’ve already prepared the baskets that will hold the root with a magic barrier. I felt the warm air of the greenhouse inviting me to rest, and though I tried, I couldn’t hold back a yawn. 

“You can rest if you want to y/n,” Neville said. Although it’s a tempting offer, my stubbornness wins out. That, and the strangely enticing thought of getting to spend more time with Neville.

“No, it’s alright. Let’s just talk or something so I can stay awake,” I said, and Neville seemed as happy as I was about my plan.

“Why do you love herbology so much?” Neville asked after a considerable silence. Naturally, I was dying to ask him the same question. Not many people were as dedicated to herbology as we were. Most kids squirm away from the dirt, flobberworms, and deadly plants. 

“My grandma had the most beautiful garden,” I shared. There’s something about Neville that feels trustworthy. So even though I never usually share much about my family at all, I continue. “When my dad left, I ended spending a lot of time with her. And whenever,” I paused, feeling a little emotional, even though I’m not a crier. “Whenever I felt sad the garden was always there, reminding me that magic and love is real.” I sighed slightly. The love that my grandma put into that garden was the kind of love I longed to have from someone...

“That’s how I feel sometimes,” Neville responded looking a little teary. “I know my parents love me, but it’s- well it’s hard,” I could only nod. I’ve never been good at emotional discussions. I guess that’s a fault I have as a Ravenclaw, I approach everything analytically. 

And so we continue to talk while we wait. Some of it about herbology, some about friends, some about our favourite colours. Neville is so easy to talk to. We have the longest conversation that I’ve probably had in a long time. Luckily, the previous tempus charm I set alerts us that it’s time to begin the harvest. For the full hour we are both rushing around the greenhouse, careful not to step on each other’s toes. It’s a whirlwind of activity but somehow we harvest all of the roots.

Finally we’re able to lie down to sleep. Our different towers both look so far from here we agree to simply sleep in the blankets Neville brought down. We settle into our separate makeshift beds. Although it is so cramped, they are very nearly just one large bed. Letting a peaceful sleep wash over me, I slowly drift off.

-

The dawn sun filtered softly through the greenhouse windows. I didn’t want to open my eyes, and I didn’t know how long I was laying there, basking in the soft sunlight only provided by a sunrise. As I slowly became more aware of my surroundings, I remembered where I was, and the steady rise and fall of the chest below me. My eyes shoot open and I realise somehow Neville and I ended up a tangled mess of limbs throughout the night. I stood up as quickly as I could without waking him, and I slowly stretched. I didn’t want Neville waking up and getting the wrong idea

Or would it be the right idea? Honestly it’s just too early for these kinds of thoughts. I folded up the Ravenclaw blankets I was meant to sleep in, and began to write a note for Neville. While I’m thinking of what to write, Neville’s sleepy voice calls out, and Godric did it make my heart race.

“Y/n, is it morning already?” He props his head up. The sun makes the pool of honey in his eyes glow brighter. A warm blush was already creeping up my neck so I turned away.

“Yeah Nev, it is. I’m just heading down to breakfast now.” I turned on my heel and made my way out, but before I could reach the door Neville interrupted me.

“Oh great! I’ll come too!” I smiled, although I’m not sure why! I certainly don’t have a crush on Neville Longbottom.

We rushed to the Great Hall, hungry from all of the work we did last night. I turned to sit at the Ravenclaw table, because right now I simply can’t face Harry. 

“Morning Luna,” I smile slightly before grabbing a fresh croissant.

“You look chipper this morning,” Luna smiles. “I heard you had to study with Neville?” I nodded as my mouth was full of buttery croissant. “So when is your first date?” I nearly choked, so Luna patted my back firmly. 

“Oh, er,” I stumbled. I shouldn’t be this nervous! But I don’t want to make Neville think I’ve been spreading rumours.

“Oh it’s just a crush!” Luna giggled. Looking at her I realise... I don’t want to object. She tends to be right about these things, and I find that some he is right again. Blushing even harder now, I mumbled about all of the homework I have. She only giggled again before taking a bite of her toast.

-

“Don’t look at me like that.” I sighed as I slid into my charms seat. Harry only raised his eyebrows higher, and I absentmindedly noticed Neville hadn’t arrived yet.

“He said you fell asleep under the stars. Do you realise how romantic and utterly adorable that is?” Harry continued to stare at me incredulously, and I pulled out my parchment paper.

“We fell asleep in a greenhouse because we were too tired to walk back to our towers. You’re starting to sound a little too much like our favourite reporter.” Harry wrinkled his nose at the mention of Skeeter, and I smiled as Neville sat down on the other side of me.

“Hey Y/n! You’ll never believe what just happened.” He exclaimed happily, and I didn’t miss the way Harry stared at me.

“What happened, Nev? Don’t tell me the Lykos root’s weren’t harvestable? I did not lose a good night’s sleep for nothing!” I sighed at the thought of having to harvest the roots for another night, but he shook his head.

“I saw Sprout at breakfast and she said that she had never seen Lykos roots harvested so well! She said she told Snape and that he’s going to be using all the plants from our greenhouse moving forward! Sprout said that there was a real possibility of us opening up an ingredient shop that specialises in plants!” He declared, and I stared, open mouthed. Snape, of all the professors, approved of our ingredients? I ignored Harry’s eye roll and I cheered.

“This is awesome, Nev!” I high-fived him, and he grinned back.

“Have you considered doing advanced potions? That would really help if you were planning on becoming a supplier.” I asked, and he shook his head.

“If anyone but Snape were the teacher, I definitely would.” He said, and I got a strange flashback to third year. More specifically, to Neville’s boggart.

“I totally get it! You never know, maybe we’ll get a new teacher next year. It’ll be okay.” I faced the front as Flitwick began his lesson, and I felt Neville’s arm brush mine. I smiled softly, and nudged it back. Maybe it would be okay.

—

I stood at the exit of our shop, our very own creation, and slowly flipped the open sign to closed.

“Can you believe we did it?” Neville’s arms were wrapped around my waist, and he leaned his head on my shoulder. We watched in comfortable silence as the witches and wizards gradually apparated out of Diagon Alley for the day. When the last witch vanished, I turned to face him.

“If I’m honest? Absolutely not.” I laughed into the chaste kiss that he gave me, and we wandered further into our shop, our little dream.

“Do you want to do the cash float?” He asked, and I wrinkled my nose.

“My dear, sweet Nev. You know that I’d rather work at Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes for a month than do the cash float. I’ll take inventory stock.” He kissed me again, and I smiled.

Never would I have thought I would be so happy with life as this. Never would I have thought I would be so loved.

Never would I have thought that a perfect night would be a supper with Neville, followed by cuddles on our worn maroon couch. 

Never would I have thought that Neville Longbottom was my soulmate. I wouldn’t live a life with anyone but him.

[damienthepious]

HEY NOT ONLY IS IT LKT BUT IT IS ALSO ZINE DAY BABEY!!!! Please go check out the @seasonsofthecitadel​ zine! Orders opened today and all profits go to The Trevor Project! 

As far as my typical weekly offerings go, I’m on a roll with this fic now, so...

Scattered On My Shore (Chapter 7)

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [Ch 3] [Ch 4] [Ch 5] [Ch 6] [ao3] [Ch 8] [Ch 9] [Ch 10] [Ch 11] [Ch 12] [Ch 13] [Ch 14] [Ch 15] [Ch 16] [Ch 17] [Ch 18] [Ch 19]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla, Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Rilla, Lord Arum, Sir Damien

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Pre-Relationship, (for the three of them. it’s established r/d), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Injury, Injury Recovery,  Hurt/Comfort,  (this will also be), Enemies to Lovers, (for damien and arum eventually lol)

Fic Summary: Strange things wash up out of the lake near Rilla’s hut, on occasion. But this monster… this monster is certainly the strangest.

Chapter Summary: Damien is dutiful as ever, and Rilla- Rilla has the situation under control. She does.

Chapter Notes: Not much to warn for this time, I don't think? They're all still bad at self care, and Arum is still... being passively suicidal, but if you've read the rest so far, I feel like that's expected. Love you! Happy LKT!

~

Damien wakes after Arum has already eaten, when Rilla is retrieving his dishes, and he careens back into consciousness with a shuddering gasp. His hand clutches his bow like a lifeline, and he springs to his feet in half a heartbeat, kicking the blanket aside without even seeming to notice it, his eyes wild until they land on Rilla.

Rilla, who only raises her eyebrow at him.

"At least you got some sleep, even if it was on the floor," she says mildly as Damien pants, standing and flicking his eyes around the room, looking away quickly when he meets the monster's eyes. "You okay?"

Damien swallows, then tries to press his hand over his heart, but he realizes that his bow is in the way and blinks in momentary confusion. "R-Rilla, I-" he cuts himself off as he remembers the monster watching them, violet eyes drifting between them curiously. "We can- we should discuss- we should move to the kitchen, I think, if we- if we wish to discuss-"

Rilla tries not to make it obvious that she wants to laugh, at that. Damien… it's not unfair for Damien to feel at least a little bit concerned, for him to want to talk to her privately. It really isn't. Even if it feels silly to Rilla, especially with the blatantly amused look Arum shoots the both of them. She bites her lip and nods, instead, then shoots Arum a look in return, both knowing and warning.

"I'll be back to check on you in a bit, okay Arum?" she says, and Arum wrinkles his snout very slightly as he nods. "Just… shout if you need anything."

Damien stares at her through this exchange, that wounded, mournful expression back in force, but she only smiles lightly and takes his hand (the one not still stubbornly wrapped around his bow, of course), and starts leading him back towards the front room. Arum's eyes flick to their clasped hands, his expression going momentarily puzzled before he flattens it out to neutral again, and Rilla doesn't have time to wonder about that because when they exit the exam room, Damien's mouth is already twisting down into a scowl.

"He- that beast- it tricked me into- into-"

"Into sleeping?" Rilla releases Damien's hand so she can go dump the dishes from breakfast onto the counter, and then she turns and leans against it, watching Damien unhappily begin to pace. "You were exhausted, Damien. If you didn't want to fall asleep in a room with him, you should have just stayed in bed with me," she says, and she knows she hasn't quite kept the hurt out of her voice when Damien's eyes dart to her in surprise.

"Rilla," he murmurs, and his pacing falters so he can come close to her instead, lifting his hands to gently touch her shoulders, his thumbs brushing her skin, just gently. "I… I am sorry. It isn't that I did not want to rest with you, my love. I always do. If I had my way, I would never sleep anywhere but beside you. But- but I couldn't- with that creature still beneath your roof, I could not-"

"I know," Rilla sighs, leaning into his touch. "I know once you get a thought in your head, it's hard for you to… I know."

"He is…" Damien's expression twists, his eyebrows furrowing deeply and his lips turning in a frown so deep it approaches a pout.

"A lot," Rilla finishes with a half a smile. "He's a lot."

Damien purses his lips, and then after a moment he nods lightly. "I suppose that is one rather concise way to put it, yes. He…"

Rilla raises an eyebrow. "He… what?"

Damien doesn't seem to know how to continue for a long moment, and then he shakes his head and takes both of her hands in his instead. "Rilla, oh Rilla, I must speak my heart."

"Had you stopped at some point?" she says, but her teasing tone falls a little flat, and his expression goes hurt as well as pleading. "Sorry. What- what do you need to say, Damien?"

"You know that I love you," he says, almost tearfully, "and I trust you. I trust your brilliance and I trust your judgment, but I am terrified, my love. I trust you with the whole of my heart, but- but I could not possibly trust him."

Rilla clenches her teeth, exhaling sharply. "Well, good. You don't have to trust him. All you gotta do is trust me, and everything will be fine. I have the situation totally under control."

"But…" Damien trails off weakly. "But what do you plan to do with him, Rilla? Surely- surely with your skill he will be mended in no time at all, but what happens then, my flower? You cannot keep him here like some sort of- of broken-winged pigeon, like some sort of pet-"

"Damien, he's not an animal-"

"Exactly, Rilla. What will you do , when he is healed? Do you intend to mend him and then let him traipse out your front door, to send him on his merry way? Do you intend to escort him home, to keep other knights at bay? What will you do?"

"I-" Rilla laughs uncomfortably, pulling her hands away. "Look, he's in no state to be considering all that just yet, Damien. He still can't even get out of the cot, really. There's no reason to get ahead of ourselves-"

"Rilla."

"That's so far down the line, Damien, you can't expect-"

"You cannot continue to treat him without a plan, love. An injured monster-" he sighs. "This creature… he does not currently pose a threat. That, I will concede. But when he is well again, you cannot know what he will do. Even if he feels he owes you to the point where he shall not harm you, how can you know he will not harm others, Rilla? How can you be certain that your kindness will not visit misery and death upon others?"

"He hasn't tried to hurt you either, Damien."

"I am armed, Rilla. It would be foolishness itself to attempt to-"

"Wouldn't be that hard to kill a man while he's asleep," Rilla says.

"I-" Damien pauses, swallows, looks decidedly uncomfortable. "I… I will concede that point as well. Though, it may be for your sake alone that he did not harm me. Clearly the debt he owes you is enormous, perhaps even a monster would understand the weight of such a mercy. But you cannot know he will not harm others when he is- if you allow him to leave this place."

Rilla narrows her eyes, just slightly. "Alright. So far, you've basically said that I can't keep him here and I can't let him leave, either. Kinda get the feeling that you're trying to paint me into a corner here, Damien."

"Rilla… my dearest, my love, you know what I must do." He gives a shaky sigh when she scowls and looks away from him. "Rilla, he cannot be allowed to live. It is far too dangerous-"

"Oh, so you're back to calling Arum an it again, now that you wanna talk about killing him?"

"N-" Damien cuts off, winces, then wrings his hands for a moment before he continues in a muted voice, "n-no, I- I was referring to- to the situation, not to the b-beast himself." He pauses again, visibly uncomfortable. "His… Ar- that is his… his name, then?"

"Yeah," Rilla says, still frowning. "It is. Though sometimes he gets pouty if you don't put Lord in front of it."

"Lord?" Damien echoes in surprise. "You- he- a Lord?"

"I mean, I don't know exactly what it entails, but apparently he rules that big swamp up north."

Damien blanches. "The Swamp of Titan's- that swamp? A deadly, dangerous, dire place! Oh, all the more reason for caution, for fear! Oh Saint Damien above, oh grace us with your Tranquility and wisdom, protect us from the cruelty of a beast who could tame such a place-"

"Alright, that doesn't seem fair. The jungle around the Citadel is dangerous too, Damien, but that doesn't mean you'd call the Queen cruel."

Damien swallows, his wild expression calming slightly as he fixes his eyes on her again. "I- I suppose that is- but, but! Rilla, that swamp has been even more dangerous than in the past, as of late. There are rumors, there are some truly frightening tales coming from the north recently-"

Damien pauses, then, and Rilla's face has gone blank as well. They stare at each other for a moment, both thinking quite similar things, and then Rilla's eyes flick to Arum's door, which is-

Still cracked open, just barely. Rilla swallows, uncomfortable, and when she speaks again her voice is more muted.

"That seems well beside the point, Damien, and I think you know that."

"Very well," Damien says, equally uncomfortable. "But you have not offered any solutions either, my love. You may say that the time when the beast will be well again is distant, but such time will slip past long before you are ready for it if you do not have a plan."

"My plan, Damien, is definitely not gonna be you killing him, even if I don't have another answer for you right now." She crosses her arms over her chest, trying not to let her voice become a shout. "I've been a little busy, if you haven't noticed, just keeping him alive in the first place. I haven't exactly had any time to plan out something that won't be an issue for- for a while, yet."

"A while," Damien echoes. "Do you not have an idea of how long, then? Is his situation still so precarious that you cannot speculate yet upon that?"

"He- I mean, his progress is still slow. It might speed slightly after I treat- well, there's a chance he'll start improving faster soon, but I don't exactly have a lot of experience with patients like him. It's not like I have a great idea of how long lizard-dragon-bugs take to get back on their feet, you know?"

"Indeed," Damien says. "Is that not all the more reason to be prepared, in anticipation that he may heal faster than you expect?"

"I haven't talked to him about it," Rilla admits. "I just- I'm not sure he trusts me completely yet, and there's a decent chance that a question like that will make him suspicious."

Damien blinks. "He does not trust you?" He scoffs, then shakes his head. "Of all the absurd-"

"I'm engaged to a man who's practically begging me to let him slay the beast," Rilla drawls. "If I were a monster, I wouldn't be the most trusting of someone like me either."

"But you saved the creature," Damien says dismissively. "Surely that-"

"Yeah, and I'm still trying to save him, Damien."

Damien inhales as if preparing to counter that, but then his eyes flick to the window, to the morning light outside, and he sighs. "I- I cannot stay much longer. I am- I intended to mention, last night, but my mind-"

"What, Damien?"

"I will be leaving, for- for a few days, at the very least. The new Investigator General will be bringing a rather small team to- to resolve a situation a little ways north." He pauses. "Not- not quite so far north as our previous discussion," he adds. "But- I am needed. As much as the idea of leaving you alone with such a creature terrifies me-"

"I don't know how many times I gotta say that he's not gonna hurt me before you get it, Damien."

"I don't know how you can be so sure, my love," Damien says softly, achingly. "I trust enough that I- that I will leave, I will leave you with the creature under your roof and your care, and I will not… I will not harm him, this day. But when I return… when I return, we will need to… to resolve this discussion. A decision must be made, and I think we both know that there is only one possible outcome. There is only one way to return our lives to normalcy, to ensure safety for the people it is both of our duties, in our own way, to protect."

"Uh." Rilla scowls. "We definitely don't both know that," she says, tone going sour with mocking. "Saints, I should make you a recording of me saying all the shit you seem determined not to understand. Maybe on the twelfth repeat you'll get the picture. He's my patient, Damien, which means it's my job to keep him safe. And if you want to hurt him so badly, that means I'll have to keep him safe from you, too."

"Rilla, please don't- don't-" he pauses, furrows his brow, and then sighs deeply. "No."

"No?"

"I cannot stay but a few minutes more. I believe this conversation is larger than our current time will allow. I do not enjoy the thought of leaving words unsaid-"

Rilla snorts a laugh. She really can't help it. She winces when he gives her an injured look.

"Er- yes. Regardless. We will resume this… discussion upon my return. Please, love, just- please do not grow complacent with this creature. Please take care. I love you too dearly to think that you could be in any sort of danger, but especially not danger that could be easily avoided with just the barest breath of caution. Please, love."

Rilla stuffs down her frustration, and instead comes close to him again. She touches his shoulder, and then just damns the whole situation and slips her arms around him in a hug instead. "I love you too, Damien," she sighs. "And you damn well better be careful out there too, whatever it is you're gonna be doing. Promise me you won't let yourself be distracted by this when you should be worrying about what's out there," she says, and then she pulls back enough to meet his eyes. She wonders for a moment if she looks quite as worried as he does. "I don't want to be the reason you get hurt, Damien."

"I promise," he says gently. "I assure you that I will be entirely focused, entirely engrossed in my mission until it is complete."

Rilla doesn't really believe that. Damien isn't exactly the best at keeping his mind from running away with him, but- it's nice to hear him say it, anyway. She sighs.

"C'mon, then. I'll help you get your armor back on, and then I'll walk you to the bridge, at least. I could do with a bit of fresh air."

~

Arum curls his claws in the sheets when he hears the door click shut, when he hears two distinct sets of footsteps maunder off into the day. Ten minutes or so, Amaryllis had casually (or less than casually, if the light strain in her voice had been any indication) called out to him through the door before she ran off with the knight. Ten minutes. That is how long she will be gone.

Not enough time to do everything he needs, but-

He waits only until he can no longer hear them, and then he pushes the blankets off. With a care bordering on the absurd (he cannot risk falling, he refuses to be set back again), he swings his legs out, letting his claws click on the hardwood below. Behind him, he curls his tail down and retrieves the first of his stolen prizes from beneath the bed. A crutch: primitive, so far as such tools go, but just tall enough to be useful to him, and he positions it beneath his lower right arm and grits his teeth and he stands-

He stands and does not fall, this time.

(Kicking the crutch back beneath the bed when he had fallen two days ago had been an exercise in flailing panic. He has rarely been more mortified.)

Arum stands, balancing carefully with the help of the crutch and his tail, and he breathes unsteadily for a long moment before he does anything else.

He has his goals in mind. He knows precisely where this little creature keeps everything he will need, even if he is not entirely steady enough to enact his plan just yet.

He has a deadline, now. When the knight returns from his newest expedition, Arum does not think Amaryllis will be able to keep him from slaying Arum, and- and now that Arum's suspicions about the Keep are all but confirmed-

(Rumors. What rumors? When Arum overheard those words he wanted to tear the blankets apart, wanted to roar and rage and demand that the knight explain- what does he mean, that the swamp, Arum's swamp, is becoming more dangerous? That it is growing more frightening? What does he mean? What is the Keep doing? What is happening to Arum's home, in his absence?)

He has a deadline. Arum will not wait, not a moment longer than absolutely necessary.

Either he will die in his planned attempt, or he will return home. One way or the other, his Keep will have a familiar again.

He grits his teeth, focuses on his balance, and step by careful step he begins to cross the room.

~

Arum is still safely in his cot, giving Rilla a baleful glare as she returns, and she stubbornly pretends that she hadn't been worried about that. It wasn't like she expected him to disappear, or to hurt himself by accident, but- Rilla hasn't really left the hut since she found the lizard. It just feels weird, to leave him alone.

"Here," Rilla says brightly, pressing a vial into Arum's hand as he blinks up at her, startled. "Take that, please."

"Wh-why?" he barks suspiciously, holding it away from himself. "What is it?"

"The antidote. It should neutralize what's left of the poison from that basilisk," she says, and she grins sharply when Arum flinches in surprise. "Yeah. I told you I was gonna figure it out. Honestly, it's a good thing I did, because even without that talon still in there, the poison would have taken a while for your body to naturally work through. So yeah, I'm just gonna reiterate the whole, it's important to just tell me things, thing. Y'know. If you actually want to get better."

Arum wrinkles his snout, narrows his eyes at the vial, then uncorks it and takes it in one go. His expression goes even more dour at the taste (understandable, Rilla thinks), and then he presses the empty glass back into Rilla's hands. "I would say I apologize, but I would be lying," he hisses. "Perhaps I would be more likely to trust if I were not receiving such wildly different messages from my two ambassadors to humanity."

Rilla snorts. "Yeah, that's not entirely unfair," she says. "Damien's not gonna be back for a few days or so, though, so you don't have to worry about him hovering for a while."

Arum raises an eyebrow. "Hm."

Rilla tucks the empty vial into a pocket and starts the routine of checking the monster over. It's becoming almost too familiar, by now, she thinks. She talks through it again to keep him comfortable, and he frowns deeply when she tsks at him over his frill, which she is beginning to worry might permanently bear some nicks and tears if he can't stop flaring it so frequently.

"It hardly matters," he mutters, looking away from her. "It's not as if it will kill me. It is only a frill."

"Yeah, but- well, I'm sure it still hurts, and whether or not you care about the aesthetic appearance, reopening the wounds over and over certainly isn't good for you. Just- try your best not to move it if you can, okay?"

Arum rolls his eyes. "Yes, doctor."

He tugs the blankets back up on his own (he's getting stronger, she notes with some satisfaction) and then he sighs, frowning and looking towards the window, despite the curtains in the way of his view.

There's something elegant about him, a sad sort of tension to his stillness, and Rilla has to bite back the urge to just ask-

What happens when you're healed?

She wishes Damien hadn't stuck the question in her head. It's just- a pain in the ass, really. She picks a different question instead.

("I think the creature is… I think he is restless," Damien says uncomfortably, when they are in sight of the bridge.

"Of course he's restless, Damien, he's barely better than bedridden."

Her voice bounces on the b's, and she smiles as she sees Damien tilt his head and file her words away for some later composition.

"Yes, needless to say," he says after a moment. "But what I mean is that he seems… understimulated? Or- bored, I suppose," he says with an awkward smile. "Perhaps it would be worthwhile to- to provide him with something to occupy his mind. To keep him out of trouble," the knight mumbles, his soft and calloused hand lightly squeezing her own.

Rilla wonders, brow furrowed, why she hadn't thought of that already.)

"Hey," she says, and he turns his face back toward her with a suspicious look. "Do monsters have their own written language?"

"No," he says, less suspicious now but certainly more concerned. "We have several. Many of them complex and individual and private and certainly not the business of some nosy human."

"Can you read our language?" she prods, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course," he grumbles. "It is only one language, it is easy enough to understand."

"Huh," she says. "Good to know."

He looks suspicious again at that, but he also looks tired, and she's familiar enough with that expression on his face to know that he'll probably be asleep again in ten minutes or so. That's fine. She's not sure exactly what kind of books a monster like him might enjoy reading, but Rilla can use his time napping to sift through her little library and find something that might just catch his interest.

Hell, if she's already going for treason, she might see if he'll have some insight into some of the books her dads left behind, while she's at it.

[->]

[milatherese]

Being sad is part of life.

(the following is just me talking to my future self who is reading stuff I wrote to get it all out of my head so I don’t cry mid-exams... aka it is insanely long, unimportant, and depressing)

On November 29th, I got a notification that read “Father Adrian San Juan’s Birthday tomorrow.” I had already been counting down the days until his birthday and didn’t need the notification to remind me. But when it did remind me, it hurt.

The following day I shared a post on Facebook:

Yesterday, Father Adrian San Juan turned 44 in Heaven. I’ve faced grief before (4 times this year, c'est la vie) but...

Posted by

Mila Reyes

on 

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

but I didn’t share the full story because it was already long (and no one cares lol).

This isn’t the full story but the truth is, 

goshdangit, 

I miss him.

I miss his loud laugh. I miss his smile. I miss his savage comebacks. I miss his nerdy music moments. I miss his criticism. I miss his tidbits of wisdom. I miss his random rants. I miss his leadership. I miss his guidance. I miss his witty sense of humour.

I know I’m not the only one, but it certainly feels like it. I feel alone in this.

I still remember the day he died. 

I had a rough start to the day and had skipped breakfast (because I had planned on just eating a big lunch) and lunch (because I was too hurt to eat [for reasons I won’t mention]). I was still crying in my room when a friend called to ask about some logistics for a relative’s memorial Mass I was coordinating. Around that time, my mom informed me she received a call from an unknown number in Norwalk. Because I was in a sour mood, I didn’t look up the number and simply dismissed it as a telemarketer. A few minutes later, I received the news that Father Adrian was hospitalized and was in critical condition. When I learned that the cause for his hospitalization was his collapse right before Mass, I knew he had died at the scene. (collapse + delay in CPR + critical condition [usually] = death) It was not officially confirmed that he had died until 1-2 hours later when I received another phone call. I was still in my room but was now on a video call with a friend (discussing the music for the Mass). My friend got the call first so I was already mentally prepared for what was to come. I got called right after and that’s when we (my friend and I) decided to hang up and just spread the news.

I called Ken Weber. Father Adrian had invited me to attend his parish’s 50th Anniversary concert and I did. Little did I know that he had plans for me to study under Weber’s tutelage. We had dinner with Ken Weber and Father Adrian after the concert and after Father Adrian shared that I love church music (and hinted that I may be interested in learning how to play the organ), Ken offered to give me my first organ lesson the following day. We continued lessons over Skype when Ken returned to Hawaii and Father Adrian had me provide music (on the organ) for Sunday Masses.

Me: Hi Mr. Weber, I just thought you might wanna know this... Father Adrian passed away not too long ago. Ken: What was that, Mila? Me: Father Adrian died Ken: Oh no, not Father Adrian?!  Me: Yes Ken: Oh no, oh no, no I was just there with him at his parish! Oh God no... 

I told him what happened and after he learned I had not even told my parents, he had me hang up and share the news. I didn’t.

I called Alexandra Ramos. Or at least I tried.  I met her at the same concert. She was the featured soprano. Beautiful voice. I had seen her perform in the musical where I first saw Father Adrian and I was in awe. After we met, we worked together on concerts featuring Father Adrian’s music from the musicals. When that was over, she left the country to discern with an order and we lost contact. When she returned, we discovered we had a lot in common (that we had never talked about) and decided to keep in touch. Unfortunately, her return from that order left her without a personal number and we lost touch again. I left a voice message at the answering machine instead.

I decided it was time to break the news to my family. I opened my door and walked out.

“Guys, Father Adrian died.”

There was no sugarcoating it. It was the truth. I went to each of them. My dad was in his “office”, my mom was in her “office”, and my brother was in the garage. We were all surprised and I was beginning to lose it. After they asked “San Juan? Father Adrian San Juan?” I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I burst into tears. My parents went to me and my dad pulled me into a hug - something he has never done before. After a few seconds, I pulled away and said I needed to be alone. I ran to my room and stayed there for as long as I could.

When I was finally alone, I realized that phone call from that unknown number in Norwalk was from the parish school. Father Adrian’s staff was trying to reach my mother, who Father Adrian had asked to put on his emergency contact list. I had forgotten he did that. And that’s when the guilt set in.

I never got to thank him in words for everything, especially his most recent gift when I last saw him. I told myself “I’ll wait until after this semester to properly thank him.” I didn’t know that would be too late.

My family regularly prays at 6pm but this day I could not even utter a single word of prayer. I was in so much emotional pain that I barely made it to our prayer room without nearly falling. I had cried myself into a headache (yes, it’s a thing) and vertigo. All I could think about was Father Adrian. I couldn’t believe it. Apparently I looked so bad (I did not feel well) that my mom considered taking me to the hospital.

The days that followed weren’t any easier. I thought I would be okay after the funeral (which happened a month later) but I was not. I thought I would be okay after my birthday but I was not. I thought maybe, just maybe, if I celebrated his birthday with his sisters I would be okay. I was not. I still am not okay. I poorly estimated the time I would need to grieve. (I based my estimation on my grieving period when Father Suarez had died which lasted ~90 days.)

I have a monthly calendar in my room. I am usually excited to flip the page when the month is over but I still haven’t flipped the calendar to December. It was hard enough flipping to my birth month, and then to his, but to flip to a month of the year where we made some of the most (and best) memories is a big step. I’m already two weeks in and I still haven’t flipped the page.

I have not figured out how to grieve. I typically turn to music but this year music has failed me. When Father Suarez died I listened to praise and worship until I couldn’t – this song played and I lost it while walking to work.

With Father Adrian, I can’t just listen to music. Nor can I just play an instrument or sing and grieve that way because for much of my life, Father Adrian = music. We listened to the same songs, which was pretty much everything. He used all my musical talents in some way (yes, singing, too). I tried music, but it was much too painful to have anything to do with music.

I even stopped singing at Mass. At first it was because I was always crying at Mass because I could see him celebrate the Mass I was attending. But later it was also because whenever I would sing I would hear his voice sing, too, in my head.

I haven’t exactly figured out how to grieve yet. And it also doesn’t help that I keep on pushing people away. I didn’t notice it at first but now that people keep reaching out to me it has become clear that my first instinct when faced with strong emotions is to distance myself.

A friend sent me this:

I knew all of this already; he didn’t need to tell me. But I think I needed to hear it from someone else for my heart to understand it. 

There are no time constraints for grief and I shouldn’t put any on it either. It’s all in God’s time with God’s grace. Jesus knows how I feel. And I am not alone. 

I have to remind myself it is normal to feel this even though it is something new to me. I am trying to accept that it is a normal feeling.

Today would have been the first day of Simbang Gabi at the Cathedral. I would have been playing violin and he would have been conducting the choir of priests for the fourth time. But, it’s 2020 and that didn’t happen. Instead I “attended” Simbang Gabi on YouTube. And they decided to share two old recordings of what I had hoped would happen.

I have to remind myself that he is easier to talk to now that he is not limited by time and space and that he now knows my heart better than I can express.

I feel ungrateful. I found it difficult to be thankful this thanksgiving after all that has happened this year even though there is physical evidence God has been taking care of me despite everything going on.

I feel angry. I feel like someone unjustly took away something that belonged to me even though I only own my decisions. I wish I had been the one to go Home first.

I feel sad. I can’t talk to him like I used to and he’s no longer just a text away. He always said “See you in the Eucharist!” and I need to remember that.

I feel weak. I often think that the sooner I do the will of God, the sooner I get to be with Him and can leave this world. I know it’s wrong to think this but I can’t help it. His death makes my journey to holiness more urgent. And I feel like I don’t try hard enough.

I guess I don’t really know how I feel right now. Maybe it’s normal to feel all these at once. I hope it is.

This was definitely a wake up call. Memento mori. (here is something I made on my birthday to try to cope)

There’s no such thing as “I’ll do it later” anymore. There’s no “after I do this thing then I’ll do it.” Whatever it is, it has to be now. 

That’s what Father Adrian learned when he beat cancer (among many other near-death situations). It sucks that it took losing someone for me to actually learn this but at least I know now. If I am not actively doing God’s work, I might as well have not been born. 

Alrighty, now that I’ve poured most of it out, I really need to get to studying.

[captain-unlikelynutbouquet-blog]

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I have a 2003 Grand Am. I've had it for a year. Until recently I had it in my mothers insurance policy. But hers has expired now and I would like to have it put under my own policy. I've had my license since I was 19. I've never had any violations, not even a speeding ticket. What are some cheap car insurance for my situation. I live in Kentucky.""

Can you have Oklahoma auto insurance in Texas?

A friend of mine lives in Texas. Her dad just bought her an SUV and is going to pay the insurance. He lives in Oklahoma. Can her car have his insurance or does it have to be from Texas?

Best car for a broke teen driver?

I'm 14, so I wont be getting the car for another year or so. I'd be paying for it myself, so I'd like it cheap, with good mileage and cheap insurance. I'd also like it ...show more""

I'm looking for decent but affordable health insurance that includes maternity...anyone know of some?

I'm looking for decent but affordable health insurance that includes maternity...anyone know of some?

What are the requirements to be taken off my parents car insurance?

I plan on getting my own car insurance and moving out but my parents need my new living address and I don't wanna give it to them cause I don't want them knowing where i'm going to be living. Does the insurance require this type of information to remove my name?

DO i NEED TO PROVE MY G.P.A. TO MY AUTO INSURANCE COMPANY BEFORE I RECEIVE THE DISCOUNT?

Has anyone had to show proof of their grades to get this discount. I know one of my friends did not. Do I have to send a transcript? an official one? Will the take my word on it? Which insurance company did you have that did require it?

How do i get insurance for a party?

having a party and venue request a certificate of insurance..i have no other insurance other than auto..how can i get a coi cheap and fast

Is cure auto insurance a scam?

is cure auto insurance a scam. they seems to good to be true

How much would the average car insurance for a 17 year old be with a 2000 model mazda protege?

How much would the average car insurance for a 17 year old be with a 2000 model mazda protege?

What is the average cost of having your wisdom teeth extracted without insurance?

My dentist has referred me to see an oral surgeon to have my wisdom tooth extracted. At the moment, I have no.16 & 17 3rd molars vertically impacted. I do not have dental insurance and I would like to know the average price per molar extraction with anesthetize?""

Can you answer this about Allstate Insurance commericals ?

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says Not available in all states ?

What's the insurance estimate for a 2003 Toyota Celica?

I am turned 17 recently and I want to buy a Toyota Celica because I think its cool. i understand that if I want to know the insurance I just get a quote but that takes long. And if someone has other suggestions for a cool list of cars for teen drivers please help.

Cancelling car insurance?

i recently passed my test, got a car and insurance. i have now found a cheaper car insurance, although i have only been paying for three month, will i be able to cancel the car insurance and go with a cheaper one?""

How to get cheap insurance for bike?

I'm 24 and trying to find cheap insurance for bike 125cc in Ireland. Can somebody help me please. I'm girl and having provisional driving licence. Thank you.

What are the cheapest cars to insure for a 17 year old boy with just 1 month of obtaining a full uk driving?

license my budget for the car is 500-2000 for my first car im going to be looking at getting insured under a parents name with over 20 years of driving experience but they dont want to put no claims down on my insurance so i will be a additional driver. Please give me a big list of cars you suggest within my budget to purchase a car for 500-2000 pounds as i dont have a car yet and need a cheap one for a run around and i need cheap insurance. the insurance has to cost 2500 maximum for the cars you suggest

How much lesser is car insurance every 6 months ?

I pay car insurance every month. ON AVERAGE do you think I would pay less every 6 months?

insurance quote for driving 30 miles per day

insurance quote for driving 30 miles per day

How much would a 2005 Honda Civic Coupe be worth?

I probably totalled my car. What is the estimated value of the car? How much do you think my insurance company will give me for a new one? Is there a site I can go to?

Insurance companies offering restricted hours driving to get a cheaper quote?

Insurance companies offering restricted hours driving to get a cheaper quote?

Can the insurance handle it?

I was parking and accidentally bumped into someones car and made a small scratch. The bmw driver made a big deal over it and got my insurance information.he supposedly got an estimate and tried to handle things under the table without having to go thru the insurance.however I think the estimate is tooo much money for fixing a little scratch that literally can be buffed out.I think he already got it fixed and still wants me to pay cause he said the supposed estimate also incluided a three day shop fee.will the insurance still cover me?what can I do?how do I handle this situation?this accident happened last week on Tuesday and he gave me the estimate Saturday.

Where do you get good rates for dance instructor liability insurance?

I am a dance instructor and I need to get liability insurance. Anyone know of a place to get the best quotes. I tried Markel and they are expensive. I also plan to have other instructors that I train and work with me. How do I get insurance for them? Is this per instructor, or can it be as a dance school? Please let me know. I need this info ASAP. Thanks for your help""

Can kaiser health insurance drop me?

I'VE been vomiting and been feeling sick but i dont know what is causing it so i applied for health insurance and got approved. On the application, it askedif i was diagnosed with any illness and i was not. But if i go to a physical exam, telling them of my symptoms and do get diagnosed with something, can theinsurance drop me? I feel like i did not lie on my application because i dont even know if i have a disease but i am worried that they will say that i had a preexisting condition?""

Car Insurance Costs.?

Coverage Type: Your Basic needs Collision: $250 Deductible Comprehensive: $250 Deductible Medical: None Bodily Injury Liability: $100,000/300,000 Limit Property Damage: $50,000 Limit Towing: Yes Rental Reimbursement: None ^^ Does anyone have an clue towards how much that would be monthly?""

First year car insurance for 17 year olds for a small car?

Has anyone recently passed there driving test and brought car insurance? If so how much did it cost and for what car? I don't want answers just saying thousands , I would like people who've recently got car insurance.""

""No insurance company will quote me, dckheads..?""

They won't even give me a quote... Ive tried all cars even 1.1L fiestas/corsa/clios and 700cc Smarts... wtf is wrong with insurers in UK. im 17, just got licence.""

Does anyone know any good cheap insurance companies to insure my car?

Does anyone know any good cheap insurance companies to insure my car?

Can i cancel my car insurance after my claim?

hi all, i have a car insurance policy with churchill and have recently written of my car.. the claim is being processed and i need to know some stuff. i am 19 and pay 1200 a year for my car insurance from sept2009-sept2010. I made the claim this week. i am planning to go to america in may for summer camp america and also due to there being a 900 excess ( god tell me about it) i wont be buying a new car and wont need a new car.. my car is only worth 1000 but i am claiming to recover the costs of recovery as i tipped it upside down. so therefore i need to know if i can cancel my insurance policy and if i can do that now or if i have to wait unil the claim has been processed. some people have said tat i might not beable to cancel???""

Car insurance for a teen?

Hello, I am 16 years old looking for my first vehicle. I am wanting a diesel car so I can make it run on vegetable oil. However the car I am wanting is a volkswagon TDI. Which stands for turbocharged direct injection. And I know turbochargers affect your insurance greatly. So I look at different cars that can be ran off of veggie oil. And most of the are TDI. What do I do? Best answer gets 5 stars""

Non owners insurance?

Where can I find good quality, affordable non owners insurance I live in Elmwood park,Il...""

Is motorcycle insurance expensive?

I am 18 looking to get a bike want a CBR 600 or something along those lines. My question is how much is it to insure a bike my mother said that the personal protection would be very expensive how does this work and do i need two different kinds of insurance for riding? Like is the personal insurance separate than the insurance on the bike? And don't tell me thats a big bike i have been riding all my life and have took my friends CBR out more than one time i know i will probably kill myself lol

Car insurance for young drivers? uk?

how can i ( a 17 year old) get car insurance before im 25 without the stupid prices and without getting a car that says it has the cheapest insurance when its 4 grand. i bought a 106 but the insurance is 6 grand. please help. best answer gets 5 points. please list where i can get cheap insurance, what car is the best and cheapest for insurance, how i can cut the cost. in total i will pay up to 1900 in insurance and about 800 on a car.""

Wht car insurance is better for full coverage and cheaper..... ?

car insurance help....

My insurance is like $300 a month...help?

I just got a free quote from whipers.com but my insurance is still a little high...what can I do to lower it to like $75 a month or is that not realistic?

Car Insurance - Excess and Premiums after a bump?

I am asking this on behalf of someone else, not sure which ins company with but the scenario is- reversed out of a space and made a dent in this guys car- swap details and he has rung to say cost for repairs will be 500 quid. IT IS going through on insurance so we know its all legit and he cant mess us about. The excess on the car ins policy is 500 and the claim is for about 500. Will the insurance company just bill me that? As they will be paying the full amount of the claim, will it affect the premiums alot? (20 yr old male, pass less than a year!)""

""Looking for auto and home insurance recommendation in Castle Rock, Colorado?""

We will moving from Wisconsin to Castle Rock, CO in January, 2007. We are building a new home there. We would appreciate any auto and home insurance company recommendations & comments in that area for the best coverage & service at the lowest cost.""

""Getting my first motorcycle, need some help picking one out with my current financial status?""

So, I'm 16, and getting a bike is basically a tradition in my family. My grandpa has been riding since he was 14, my deceased grandpa was in a biker gang called the Blue angels which was made entirely of cops, my step grandpa currently has a golden wing and has had 4-5 bikes before that. And my dad had one sport bike until he found it was inconvenient because of how tired he got after riding it [like he didn't expect it from a sport bike though, right?]. Anyways, I need help finding a bike I can afford. Seeing as it's my first bike, (and im only 16), I don't want to spend 15 grand on a bike that I'll probably end up laying down. I'm probably going to buy a used bike for under 2 grand. I'm not picky about the year and what company it was made by. But I'd prefer not to get a sport bike because of this insane insurance costs. And I'm not going to be leaving the state very often, so I don't need a touring bike. Summary; I'm leaning towards a Cruiser. And I'm not gonna be the Jack *** going 80 across the intersection while doing a wheelie, I enjoy life too much. And I've ridden a few dirt bikes before, so I have a bit of experience. Any help is appreciated for finding a bike model that I can get fairly cheap used. And I'd like something larger than 250cc, but I don't want a Ducati Monster engine... You know?""

Cheap motorcycle insurance for 18 year old?

Im 18 an looking to get a street bike this year but the insurance company my parents have(some local small insurance company) saids they cant even give insurance until ive had lisense for 5 years which is bullshit. Even after 5 years they said it would most likely be around 4 thousand a year which is rediculous! All i want to do is own a motorcycle an ride but damn insurance is too high! Any cheap insurance that gives full coverage to 18 year olds. Btw my driving record is clean with no accidents or tickets

Need help wit chosing car insurance!!!?

I AM 19 AND I AM TRYING TO FIND CAR INSURANCE FOR MY VEHICLE IN THE STATE OF VA. I AM LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THAT IS CHEAP BUT HAS PRETTY GOOD COVERAGE. I AM ABOUT TO START SCHOOL IN THE FALL AND I PLAN TO COMMUNTE TO SCHOOL AND TO WORK. I AM A FEMALE AND I JUST GOT MY LICENSE.

Car insurance coverage?

If i have a provisional license in California (been driving for under a year) and I get in a accident with someone in my car under the age of 20 years old, will my car insurance still cover it? I know I am not supposed to be driving anyone yet but I am trying to prove a point to my dad! Please help! thanks:)""

What is an average price for mobile home insurance in california ...los angeles?

12 ft. by 50 ft. 0r 20 ft. by 48 ft. and the year matters too if 1970s...1980s...1990s... ? and my age is 50

What do you pay for your motorcycle?

I'm a 23 year old guy in FL and looking to buy a sportbike. Probably a used GSX-R 600 or a ZX-6R. My question is what are you guys paying for your bikes? I'm looking to put about $1000 down on the bike itself. So financing probably $5-7,000. I know things will vary with interest rates and all that. But what are you paying total monthly for your bike payment (amount financed/interest) plus insurance. Trying to get my budget together. Thanks.""

Why did my car insurance with geico go up?

I'm always in a 6 month payment plan. My insurance just got renewed today. now i pay $208/month instead of $190/month and i didn't even get any driving violations for the past year. before i used to pay $250/month till they gradually decreased it to $190/month but now what happened? does anyone know where i can get a cheaper car insurance? I have a 2006 coupe cobalt and i'm 22 years old. Is geico trying to rip me off?

insurance quote for driving 30 miles per day

insurance quote for driving 30 miles per day

Car insurance for teens?

Can a teenager have thier own car insurance and if so what companies let them im in delaware. And which is the best all answers welcome

Will Health insurance costs be lower now that they are making us get it?

How much will we be Taxed if we still can't afford it ?

I need help choosing insurance for my car?

im 16 and i just got my license. I live in southern california and need help choosing a car insurance company that is reliable and easy to afford. i have a 3.5 gpa but dont know what company will give me a discount. Please help

Dealing with insurance company after accident and trading my repaired car?

I have had a car accident caused by someone else in california last year in August. Now I am trying to trade in my car bmw but they said the car is not tradable due to the carfax showing that it has structural damages. The dealers offer me to get a new loan with them and let my lender repossess the car. They said i cant trade in my car now the book value is too low compared to what I owe on it. any suggestions? Can I go after the insurance company for damages because i cant get rid of my car now... or what can I do to get into a different car. The bmw i costing too much to repair

If your 18 how much do u pay for your car insurance?

If your 18 how much do u pay for your car insurance?

What is an insurance quote?

Can someone explain to me just what the heck an insurance quote is?

When will the U.S. government stop the gender discrimination on Car insurance?

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/02/business/global/02insure.html The court of justice of the European Union (CJEU) has ruled that from December 2012, insurers will be prevented from charging different premiums on the basis of an insured person's gender. When will america pass a similar law. Not everyone is the same. Girl drivers are the worst, how on earth could their insurance be lower than ours when half the time they are in the car they are laughing so hard into their cellphone that they can't see anything but the roof of their cars. Mix a bunch of girls in one car and it gets even worse. And don't try to say it's because of statistics, obviously since there are more male drivers than female drivers there are going to be more crashes and etc.""

How much do you think car insurance will be...?

I've been to sites with free quotes but they always give me like 4.7k dollars a year with like 300$ monthly payments but my friends say insurance for them is like 1800. I am 18 male and drive a 4 door 2001 sedan I just started driving how much do you think it will be?

Will my insurance?

well my insurance pay for i iud.

Is it covered under insurance?

i want to change my old cavities to the white cavities to match my teeth. i hate to open my mouth in front of people because i have so many cavities. the thing is, is it covered under insurance and is it expensive?""

Cheap car insurance!!!?

hello i am a 17 year old boy looking for cheap car insurance what is the best car and the best company to go with with to get the cheapest prices.

I have a question about cars and insurance....?

i just bought a car and im going to go register it today and put insurance on it and i was wondering , can my husband drive my car even though the insurance is under my name only and the registration is also under my name? our insurance is basic (not full coverage) like if the police stops us... will we get in trouble? thanks""

Do you have to apply for California Training Benefits when receiving Unemployment Insurance?

I just filed for UI and received a letter in the mail about the California Training Benefits program but no where does it say I have to apply for it.

Should I drop collision from my auto insurance this renewal?

I have a ten year old Honda Civic, just over 40,000 miles, has a crack in the driver's side rear bumper that I ignore. I have an excellent driving record, no points, am the only driver, am at that age where I'm not young enough or old enough to be considered a threat, but I live in a high rate state and money is more than tight and they just shot my house insurance through the roof, even though I never put in a claim, because, get this, there is a chance that someday we may have a hurricane! Am I being pennywise and pound foolish, or am I paying for something that won't pay off even if I need it? Thank you!""

How much is car insurance for a teen?

I'm 16,I have a 2002 Camaro SS,I live in Las Vegas,Nevada.(don't stalk me lol).My dad has Geico insurance.What else do you need to know?""

Can I still use my provisional car insurance?

I passed my test today, but my mum won't let me alter my insurance because she says I can still use my provisional insurance, as long as I have somebody in the car with me and don't go on motor ways . Is this true, or do I need new insurance?""

Can my mom insure my car she does not own (California)?

So I am 21 and have a car with a learners permit and I wont get a license until Jan. Can my mom insure the car even though her name is not on the registration until I get my license and will then be the primary driver? In this case I would only be driving with her under the learners permit guidelines. My mom would be driving the car on a daily basis to take my little sister to school and stuff because right now it's our family's only car. In Jan. I would have the insurance put under my name and have her added as a driver.

How much would insurance be on a 1987 Fiero GT?

I don't know much about insurance rates and all that stuff, I'm only 17 and haven't taken the time to learn it. I just need a quick estimate on how much insurance would cost for such a car as that is what I'm looking at. Details welcome. Please don't start giving me advice on cars and trying to tell me what type of car I should get for my age. I would just like to know the answer to my question. Thanks.""

Car Insurance - Accident (Please Advise)?

Today an OAP came driving down a one-way carpark (trying to get my car parking space). In the process, she attempted to drive along the side of my car to get to the space, and scraped the side of my car and bumper. She said she would give me 20. But i said that i haven't got a clue how much the cost would be and im sure 20 wouldn't cover me. So she decided for us to drive to the local police station. The LSTO took both our details, and said for us to go through the insurance company, as the OAP was in the wrong and liable. When we left the police station she said she has previously written off a car earlier this year, and doesn't want to go through the insurance company! She gave me her home telephone number and said for me to get a quote and she'll pay for it. I got the quote - its 450. after she offered 20, i don't know if she will pay this amount! If we go through the insurance will i have to pay my excess. and what exactly happens!? I'm clueless!! I am fully comp...""

""I'm being low balled by an insurance claims adjuster for damage to my car, now what?

I had a claim against a guys insurance company for damage he caused. They came out today and did an evaluation and now the insurance estimator is saying that the vehicle needs to be totaled and that I will be offered some low ball figure because my car has prior damage which was only cosmetic and minor nothing structural at all. I know that the vehicle will be worth more than they are going to offer. But I just want a fair price for the car. They suggested that it might take some back and forth negotiations and I need to know how to prepare for that and succeed at getting something fair? Are there any angles or cards that I can play that should give me some leverage against their claims adjuster? Your help is appreciated and thank you for your answer!

""I accidently backed into a car, but the owner doesnt want me to turn it in to my insurance?""

She doesnt have car insurance and is scared she'll get into trouble. Its at least 500 worth of damage. Do i have to pay her out of pocket? I pay insurance for a reason!!! My deductible is only 100, and i dont feel i should pay anymore than that.""

What should I expect to pay for car insurance?

I am 18. I got my permit in March 2011 when I was 16 and I got my license this month. I will be taking a defensive driving course, the 5 hour course and I might also take a course with a driving school to reduce insurance cost. (I live in New York) I have enough money saved up to lease the car I want but the insurance seems like it will be very steep. The cars I'm looking at are a: 2012-2013 Mercedes Benz C300 4MATIC 2010-2013 BMW 3 series or 5 series What can I expect to pay on insurance based on this information and do you think I'd be able to get a quote for $400 or less? Also, what type of car do you have and how much do you pay for your car insurance?""

Will I get my licence quicker if I learn in an automatic? Will the insurance be cheaper if I go on my dads?

Before you say it, I know I wont be able to drive manual if I just learn in an automatic""

Can I put car insurance in someone else name when financing a car?

Im gonna be financing a 04 mustang soon. Thanks.

Would insurance on a 1992 lexus sc 300 be expensive? im 18 year old in riverside california?

yes i recently just got my license and im only 18 in riverside california

insurance quote for driving 30 miles per day

insurance quote for driving 30 miles per day

Will my insurance go up?

I recently got a speeding ticket and y parents are going to kill me. I need to know of my insurance will go up. I'm only 16 and we have State Farm Insurance and the insurance is liability. It is in the state of Tennessee. I really need to know if the insurance is going to come up or if I can just pay it of without my parents knowing.

Insurance 2 be a cheer leader???????

do you have to have health insurance to be on a high school cheer team? and if you dont then do they not let you on the team?

Auto insurance for a 19 yr old with a 1989 corvette?

My uncle is handing his 1989 C3 Corvette over to me as a present for getting my license.. I was wondering how much insurance would probably run me..I'm 19. College Student. Good GPA. Employed. I Live in Vegas if that helps. Thanks much!

When is the best time to cancel car insurance?

Car insurance is coming up to renewal. Found a cheaper company to go with for the next year. When is the best time to cancel, before the renewal date or just after? I want to keep my NCB I have built up with them and move it over to new company for the next year, also if I cancel before the renewal date would this affect my NCB that I have built up with them?""

How much will car insurance be for a sixteen year old girl who lives in California?

My parents don't have the money (plus they don't want to) to pay for my insurance, so even though i'm turning seventeen this year, I still don't have my license. I'm trying to get a job, though, and was wondering if anyone could give me a ballpark for how much it'll cost a year...I get good grades, I know some places will give you discounts if you have good grades...so yeah. :)""

Can I buy insurance even though I have no car but I drive other peoples cars regularly?

I find myself needing to borrow my boyfriends car every once and a while but my mom recently took me off her insurance plan since I dont drive the car anymore (i moved away to college and dont come home often). All the insurance quotes I've seen require me to list a car. Can't I just get general driver's insurance to cover me when I'm borrowing cars? BTW, I drive a vespa-style scooter that doesn't require insurance, so I have transportation but when it rains or when I need to drive far I borrow a car. I also offer to drive whenever the driver is tired, or if I'm taking a road trip, or if the driver is drunk and can't drive, that kind of thing.""

What insurance is available for those who are between ages 18-24 and can't qualify for Medicaid?

Any low cost health insurances out there?

Will I need an SR-22 insurance?

My license was suspended for one year, I get it back this year. 18 year old male. Wisconsin. This is my record, 12-31-2011 Driving 1 to 10 miles per hour over the speed limit (3 POINTS) 04-15-2012 Imprudent speed (8 POINTS) 06-08-2012 Driving 20 miles per hour or more over the speed limit (12 POINTS) 08-19-2012 Imprudent Speed (8 POINTS) Also, what should I expect the insurance to cost and is it required?""

Free health insurance for the unemployed?

i am unemployed and have no health insurance. is there a program in pa. where i can get health insurance for free or at a very low price?

How to find cheap insurance for my 318i bmw 1999?

How to find cheap insurance for my 318i bmw 1999?

Cheapest car insurance for 17 year old?

Taking my driving test soon and buying a cheap car (500 - 700) it will probably be a citron saxo or something like that. Who are the cheapest company to insure with?

How Much Does Insurance Cost?

Okay, So Im 18. Ive Been Driving For A Year And Haven't Had Any Type Of Tickets, Wrecks, Or Anything. And, I Was Told That With This Your Insurance Is Likely To Go Down For Being ...show more""

Do you have to pay for a full year of car insurance if your car is written off part way through that year?

I pay my car insurance every month as a direct debit out of my bank account. My policy actually expires in March each year and I'm sent a renewal letter saying that if I wish to continue with my policy I just need to keep paying it monthly as I always have. Then come July my car was total written off. According to the insurance compay I still need to pay for a full years insurance, that is I need to pay all the insurance premiums up until March next year as this is when the policy expires. I figure if I don't have the car any more as it's a write off, and I'm able to cancelled the rego on it, why should I have to pay. I would have thought that if I'd paid a full years insurance in March that I would be entitled to a refund if my car was written off part way through the year. Any help would be appreciated.""

Older cars and Insurance..?

Im young..I don't know too much about cars yet. I was wondering, do older cars typically cost less to insure??? I know it sounds dumb but I really dont know. I had a 99 explorer, 91 sentra, 86 accord, and now I am probably getting a 74 Dart. I know insurance changes depending on your age and violations on your record..but it seems like older cars cost less than 'newer' cars. Will my Dart cost more since it is a classic? It is not restored yet, or sportin classic plates either. Does that change anything??? Is there a difference because of color, or model (ss, suv, convertible, truck, etc?) Let me know..""

So im 18 now and i am currently going to school. Iam trying to find out the cheapest auto insurance out there.?

My parents currently have me under mercuary, but i would like to buy my own insurance. Any suggestions?""

What aspects of insuring a car make it cheaper?

I'm new to insuring a car, i haven't bought a car and i'm open to ideas. I know i'm looking for a small engine around 1.0 litre but what else helps to keep the insurance as low as possible? And i've heard Ford KA's are one of the cheapest cars to insure? Any help and advice you give me about what to look for and insurance would be very appreciated Thanks, Drew :)""

What is the difference between group health insurance plan and individual health insurance plans?

What is the difference between group health insurance plan and individual health insurance plans?

""How much insurance(fully comprehensive, USA) do I have to pay for a 400,000$ car?""

For a 400,000$ car in the state of New-York how much car insurance will I have to pay fully comprehensive insurance. Like a Rolls Royce Phantom Coupe how much insurance has to be paid for that type of car. Don't want an exact number, just round it off.""

I have auto insurance in SD but currenly in MN for college?

I'm currently in college and looking at switching my auto insurance. My permanent address is in South Dakota which is also where my car is insured and I'm going to college in Minnesota. I know I need to have my policy in South Dakota but will using my college address require I have minnesota insurance and register my car in minnesota?

Unlicensed Driver / Settle w/o car insurance?

Someone borrowed my car and got into a minor accident. Turns out they have a suspended license :( He told the other driver he would pay for damages, just give him 2 estimates. He didn't get the other drivers info at all (grrr!) .. only gave him info from my insurance card and his cell number. A few days go by and no contact from other driver. Today my insurance company calls me asking for details! :( Now what do I do!? Can this still be settled without the insurance company?? I've never had to deal with insurance companies before so I dont know what to tell them and I want to minimize any trouble I may be in now thanks to friend who borrowed car!""

Where can i find a cheap mustang and a good deal on insurance?

im 18 and my insurance is cheap but i dont no how much it will go up if i get a mustang. i live in ohio and need a place near me so i dont have to go far

Health insurance for immigrant children?

can someone please help me out im a 17 years old immigrant in florida and i want to try out for soccer and i need insurance but i don't have it what is the cheapest solution you can give me

Help on auto insurance decision.?

What company would you go with when getting insurance on your first car? I am 25 and this will be my first car. However, I have been driving since i received my permit at the age of 17 but i received my license at 24. I consider myself a good responsible driver but i know that no matter how good of a driver one is, there is always an idiot on the road who drives wildly. Anyway, Since i lived in Brooklyn, NY all my life i have never needed a car because of the City's Transit but now i moved from Brooklyn and need a car. Geico has been recommended from some people i know but lets put it this way... a quote for the car i want (05 Merc E320) is $2,310 for 6 months. I thought it was just because of the car but then i played around a bit and got a quote for a Chrysler 300 and they wanted $1950 for 6 months. Any better recommendations for insurance in NY? Thanks.""

Can someone tell me what the cheapest car insurance is for college students?

Can someone tell me what the cheapest car insurance is for college students?

Will my insurance go up if i wrecked in a ice storm?

there was an extremely bad road conditions in my area on dec 15, and i hit a mailbox coming home, i was only going 15 MPH but the rear end of my car went out of control and hit a mailbox, will my insrance premium go up if i turn it into insurance? also will i get into any trouble since i hit a mailbox if i turn it in?""

insurance quote for driving 30 miles per day

insurance quote for driving 30 miles per day

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10-yr-20-30-term-life-insurance-alexander-james/"

[dangerouscrusadefire-blog]

Question about home insurance?

"Question about home insurance?

can u give me an idea how much home insurance would be on a 75000 home?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

What's the average cost of car insurance for a 20 year old male?

I'm shopping around for car insurance and I'm trying to get an idea of what's average. I'm a 20 year old male living in Florida with no points on my license.

What are the recommended coverage i should have for auto insurance?

i don't know anything about auto insurance, so im trying to figured out what i should include in my policy, not just standard, but recommended coverage, so that if anything happen the insurance company can't say this or that doesn't covered...im a person that rather be safe than sorry later... so far i have statefarm in Florida, and here are my coverage and limit so far: liability bodily injury 10/20, property damage 25 per accident. no-fault coverage comprehensive collision uninsured motorist bodily injury 10/20 is there anything else i need to add or missing? is there different between the personal injury protection and no-fault coverage? is my limit enough? my friend has 50/100 limit and pays much lower premium than me (about 40% less).""

Whole Life vs. Term Insurance?

People always ask about whole life vs. Term Insurance and the insurance salespeople always defend Whole life and trash Suze Orman (not a fan of her anyway)... But they fail to prove the point with real hard numbers. Show me how Whole Life beats Term with the additional premium saved being invested in a Total Stock market index fund or other no load investment at a Vanguard or other low cost provider.

""21 Year old, Need Car, Low Insurance Please Help! :(?""

Ive now had 3 years driving experience initially on my car, under my mothers no claims, then my (then) girlfriends 2 cars. However, during that time I have accrued no no claims and it has been a year since I've been insured on any. I know how to drive, I need a car. Since then it is not possible for me to get a quote on any car I try which have included family cars, small cars and even extended to classic cars in order for classic car insurance. My grandfather said I could use his no claims, however my quote goes up?! No one else has any NCB years for me to use. I have had no prior crashes, I also live in a good area for insurance. At this stage I will gladly accept a car that would get be under 1.8k on the insurance, So I'm looking for any suggestions! PLEASE HELP :(""

Plz recommend good/affordable health insurance for 55+?

Looking for a good health insurance for my parents who are 55+. Is there such a thing as good and affordable??? Thanks!

What is the best affordable health insurance plans?

I am 20 years old and do not have health insurance and I need to get my wisdom teeth pulled! So i'm looking for an affordable health insurance.I've already applied for Medicaid and was denied.I need help please!

Nissan 350z owners how much do you pay a month for car insurance?

Nissan 350z owners how much do you pay a month for car insurance?

Car Insurance - No claims bonus-?

As I understand it no claims bonuses can be retained for a maximum 2 years after expiration of last insurance. Its approaching two years since I owned a car and had insurance for it. My father added me to his own policy to be able to drive his car , does this mean I will be allowed to keep my no claims bonus when I eventually get my own car and insurance again ?? I dont want to lose my 8 years no claims. Many thanks in advance to all answerers :)""

Quick insurance question?

Can i put my insurance under m uncles name that way insurance would be cheaper and i drive my car? is it possible hes 45, and i'm 18""

How much is my car insurance?

Im 17 i want a vw golf mk4 tdi, it will cost me for the car 800-1600, i wanna no how much is the car insurance""

""Medical insurance, c.a.?""

i live in california,,, i am a guy, have a good job,, but i cant get medical insurance due to i have a pre existing condition,,, reiters syndrome, my job doesnt have medical though,, and i barelymake to much for the state medical program,, medi-cal,, any advice""

How to become a GEICO auto insurance agent in california?

i've been doin alot of research to find this info but they all just have the positive characterisitics of the job. they all just say y i shud become one, not how i cud become one. all i want to know is HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE AND HOW MUCH DOES IT COST to become a GEICO auto insurance agent in california. and where shud i go to learn how? if there's a site that lists all the requirements and such, plz send me the link! of not, that's ok""

Affordable Health Insurance?

I was in a pedestrian accident earlier this year. The case has since been settled and I was awarded $25,000. That was the maximum insurance the driver had, after lawyer fees, etc., etc., I didn't end up with much. I am unable to work and have no health insurance. My back is still scarred. Everyday, all the time it aches. I stopped treating with the chiropractor because he was making me feel worst the entire 2 months I treated. I need prescriptions and medical attention period! I have about $4,000 left, but I am unemployed and do not want to continuously dip into my savings. Since my lawyer has been paid, I seem to be of least concern.""

What are some cheap to insure (0-1500and cheap to buy (between 0-1000) that don't look like crap ?

i want a car for my 17th birth day to gop to college and work in but all the cars ive looked at are stupid prices to insure, any ideas ?""

What's the best health insurance company for a self employed family?

Self Employed. In Georgia. What's the most cost effective company that pays great? Thanks

Will a 9 mph over speeding ticket effect my insurance in NC?

I got a ticket for 53 in a 35. When I went to court the DA lowered it to 44 in a 35.. 9 mph over. Will it effect my insurance? I live in NC.

Around how much is Driving Insurance for a 17 year old?

Or is it car insurance...w/e What would be the cost? Allstate is the insurance my parents use. What would it be from.

Where can I get low cost life insurance for my parents?

My parents are getting older now and I was wondering where was a good reliable place I can obtain low cost life insurance for them in case something happens to take care of their bills and wishes? I've seen ads on TV and the internet, but I can't tell who is a reliable company and it would be great if they don't have to go through a medical exam. I'm not looking for a million dollar policy or to get rich, just something reasonable to help take care of their bills and stuff should the worst happen.""

Why do we care about the people who have no health insurance?

they chose not to get insurance... they chose to by 200 dollar shoes over health insurance.. why do i have to pay for them?????? why am i responsible for someone elses well being? i thought adults were good on their own. i would pay taxes for sal healthcare for ALL children but the adults can go **** themselves who dont have it. its not my problem. i dont have many things that i want to get... i dont see anyone else buying the things i want...

""For a new driver 21 or younger, how much did your monthly car insurance decrease every six months? Every year?""

If you are 21 or younger, and pay for your own car insurance. If you have not had any accidents, or ticket violations applied to your driver's license....How much did your monthly car insurance decrease each year? What was your monthly payment from 16-21 years of age if you did NOT drive a sports car? Please list the state you reside in, and whether you live in the city or suburbs. Thanks.""

Speeding ticket.. insurance increase?

okay soo I just turned 18 last tuesday, and today, I got a speeding ticket. I was going 58 in 40, but I really didn't notice that. the cop went by me in the other direction and apparently his radar said I was going 58. I know I've sped on that road before, but this time I honestly don't think I was. it was my second speeding ticket.. I got one last year that didn't go on my record or something so the insurance company never found out. but this time, I can't imagine I'd be so lucky. I've been googling car insurance and how much it would go up, but I can't find it anywhere. I believe we're with arbella. my parents are going to kill me and I don't know what to do that will help this situation. so I guess I have two questions: one, how much will my family's insurance increase? and two, what to do I do to minimize the penalty, or whatever you want to call it. I'm perfectly willing to pay the fine..if I was speeding, I deserve that.""

Average cost of insurance and registration in Utah?

My husband and I are looking into getting two different vehicles and I am just trying to get an estimate on how much its going to cost to register them and how much I may need up front for insurance. I am 24 years old, my husband is 23 and a former truck driver. The two cars are a 1996 grand caravan (red if needed) and a 1980 Chevette (black if needed). I do not know mileage yet for either one.""

Do you know any Insurance companies that would do 6m Car Insurance?

For various reasons, I would like insurance quotes for my car for 6 months. Has anyone had any dealings with companies that have or would? It's not a money saving exercise, thanks :)""

""Closing on a house, need the title insurance?""

So far this home buying process has been hell, and I am ready to close this month rather than next month... But our broker said, to close by the end of July, it depends on when they recieve the title insurance... Everything is done on our end, basically we are just waiting on the sellers to do their part... Could it really take longer than a month to get the title insurance? And, what is title insurance? Thanks in advance""

Medical insurance coordination of benefits help?

Husband & wife both have group medical insurance with their employers. His insurance is a bucket plan through Cigna called an HSA. It pays for the first $750 & then he has to meet another $750 before anything else is pd. Her insurance is Healthlink PPO with $250 deductible. If husband's insurance pays for his chiropractor bills in full (as not over $750 total) can these bills be submitted to her insurance to help meet the family deductible of $500? We live in IL. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Question about home insurance?

can u give me an idea how much home insurance would be on a 75000 home?

How much will my insurance increase after I got a DUI?

I'm an 19 y/o male. I already know I made a bunch of big mistakes in my life, I just want to know how much this portion will cost.""

About how much does a car alarm save on auto insurance?

I know this depends but just give me a GUESS. or how about; use yourself as an example. How much do you save, or would you save, if you had a car alarm?""

What kind of business insurance is needed for a small business retail store?

& on average, how much does it cost (it will be in Brookly/NYC)""

How much do Hyundai Coupe S's cost to insure?

Annual Insurance 2002 worth 600 17 year old male driver

Car insurance??????? UK?

where can i get a rough idea of what i might pay for insurance, if i pass next week?!!!!!!! Everywhere i try wants a reg. no. But all i want for now is a rough idea so i can see what insurance groups i can choose a car in. Fanx :0)""

Suggestions for car insurance?

I have preferred insurance and have been paying by the year for over 5 years with this company, with no claims in over 10 years. They have raised the entire states rates, and I'm not staying with them. Any suggestions? Any reviews on that little green lizard insurance company?""

I need super cheap health insurance?

I need super super cheap health insurance in San Diego, California. Its for a school soccer club, so I don't care what kind... I just need outside insurance and quick... and SUPER cheap!! Any suggestions?""

Health Insurance for adults!?

My mother is 62 and has no insurance. Im being told she needs tests run and needs to be seen immediately. Is there any type of insurance that can help her?

Does anyone have 21st car insurance?

I am thinking of switching my car insurance, this is a lot cheaper... Just looking for some feedback... dont know much about this insurance...I have never really heard of it... Thanks!""

Why is the insurance prices so high?

OK from what I have seen from my friends they have been getting car insurance for there cars for about 1000 a year, now when I check on gocompare.com the cheapest quote is around 7000, what is wrong I've only been searching a vauxhall corsa 1.2l. I don't see why it would be that much.""

How can our teen get health insurance in California?

He's 19 and a part-time student. so he no longer qualifies for our Kaiser Permanente coverage. We seemed to have missed the deadline to cover him by COBRA. In a few months he'll be taking full-time classes again, so he can go back into Kaiser, but knowing him he'll catch the flu or Dutch Elm Disease or something just to bug me. Is there any affordable way to get him covered for the next few months? Would he qualify for Medi-Cal (Medicaid)?""

Geico or Progressive Car Insurance?

I live in Chicago, IL. Which company offers better car insurance?""

What are the best health insurance plans in Massachusetts?

...for individuals available through the Mass Health Connector?

Where can i find individual health insurance?

Looking out for individual health insurance plans in India

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deductible do you have? Also Feel free to answer if you do not have insurance and do you support Obamacare?""

""Is there any health insurance programs, other than Medi-Cal or Medicare to help the nearly indigent in Calif.?""

Is there any health insurance programs, other than Medi-Cal or Medicare to help the nearly indigent in Calif.?""

Best Insurance out there...?

Okay so I am a subcontractor for a company who does not offer insurance. (The main company this is) We are a 3rd party vendor, so we are subcontractors of another company if that makes sense...There are about 7 of us that are interested in purchasing insurance. Who would be a good company to go through? Blue Cross Blue Shield, Colonial etc? I know this type of insurance can be expensive to purchase as an individual but since there are several of us interested, would it be possible to purchase this insurance through our small company so that it may be cheaper for each of us? Anyone with helpful info or first hand experience would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!""

Fully comp car insurance?

ive got full comp car insurance,what i want to know is.im buying a car off someone in a few days and want to know if im ok to drive this car home on my insurance.thanks""

Will my insurance still go down if I have a really cheap car for my first year then a more expensive one after?

When my sister first got her car she crashed. I don't want to buy a new car and have that happen to me because it will cost a lot to have it repaired so I have decided to get a car for no more than 600 for the first couple of months, hopefully a year if it will last that long. I'd like a fiat 500 after that year and because I want to personalise it I would have to buy it from the showroom and it's 14,000 :-|. The money isn't the problem because I've been saving for ages to get this car but I am worried about the insurance on it. If I get a car for 600 first (it will be my first car), and have no accidents for a year and get a more expensive car (the fiat 500), will my insurance on that car still be high? I will be 18 when I get the cheap car and 19 when I get the fiat and Im a girl, if that helps.""

""1yr with my license and I want a new car, will insurance be high?""

I have about 12 months with my license. I have had 2 accidents. One was from the snow last january, but I didn't hit any car. The second one was this september and it was for careless driving. Now im thinking of getting a used car by august. A car around 5-8gs, and im planning on financing it. And putting full coverage on it, because now I have a baby on the way. Does anyone think I should get a car or will my insurance be to much? How long should I have my license before I get a car around $10,000?""

Auto Insurance question...?

If my teen neighbor (with a licence)borrowed my car and he/she wrecked it, would my insurance cover it? If so, why do teens that are driving, have a licence, have to be covered on parents insurance if they are driving their parents car? Isn't the car already covered by insurance? Why do I have to pay insurance on my teen and not my neighbor?""

Is Kaiser HMO a good health insurance plan to buy?

Here's the thing. My current doctor told me that he's leaving and he's going to Kaiser. I don't want to lose him so I my only way would be to purchase Kaiser. So if I already know the doctor I want, does that make Kaiser okay? What are the benefits and drawbacks of Kaiser Health?""

How much is an average ttuck insurance quote? ?

I'm planing on geting a 1999 Chevy silverado 1500 and I'm wondering how much insurance is

How are forced health insurance and auto insurance the same?

Many on here say that forced health insurance i sthe same as auto insurance, but how is that? I do not need auto insurance if I do not own a car. I make that choice whether to drive or not. I do not get fined if I don't have a car for not having auto insurance. So in what way are these in any way the same?""

How much is an occasional drivers insurance in ontario?

I am 16 i have a g2 i drive and 2003 dodge caravan sxt its my dads how much would it cost to list me as an occasional driver with TD insurance

Question about home insurance?

can u give me an idea how much home insurance would be on a 75000 home?

Is four wheel drive worth it for where I live concerning insurance costs?

I want a jeep cherokee as a first car and I cant decide between 4x4 and 2x4. My friend told me that four wheel drive will increace the car insurance. I already thought insurance was expensive, does anyone have any idea how much more this will increase insurance on average. Should I even get a 4x4? I'll be getting the car off craigslist so its not the cost of the vehicle that concerns me its all about the insurance. I live in florida so its not like ill be going through snow or anything i just thought it would be handy if I ever wanted to go off roading once or twice.""

UK ONLY: Cheap car insurance for 17 years old male?

I passed my 1 and half months ago, and insurance seems to be no less than 3000 on every sites i look. I havent bought a car but the car im looking to insure is 00-02reg VW Polo 1.0ltr or 00-06reg Vauxhall Corsa 1.0-1.2ltr Both of them are manufacture standards without any modification or accidental repaired. I dont think i will be buying a car before i find a cheap and affordable insurace, happy to pay under 2000 Cannot have an additional driver as my parents do not drive. So can anybody please help me out or recommend me a company? Thank you in advance.""

I'm buying my first used car when I turn 18 next month. How much am I going to pay for insurance by myself?

I just want to know how much money I will have to pay each month for car insurance. The used car is about $5,000.""

""When it comes to your car insurance, when is it cheaper to let your kids get their licences?

is it smarter to wait until they are 18; if they get their licence before they are 18 do your rates go up higher or lower then if they waited until they're 18.

We were just in a no fault car accident and we're uninsured?

How should we proceed? Our Insurance has been canceled and we were just hit by another driver while driving. I have heard that you have less of a claim when you're uninsured even if you're not at fault, but I just wanted to get some advice... Can anyone help?""

Car Insurance Single Vehicle Wreck?

Well, I'm am a 17 soon to be 18 year old male driver who had his first wreck today. A truck decided to come into my lane I braked and swerved to avoid went into the grass over ...show more""

Someone at fault with no insurance suing my insurance?

I was t-boned at an intersection by a lady who had no insurance, no license and who ran a red light (she was ticketed for all 3). I filed under uninsured motorist claim and my deductible is $250. She tried making a claim against my insurance, but it was obviously denied. She is now saying she is contacting an attorney because the officers at the accident were corrupt ...Can she sue and will she likely get anything? Can I counter sue for the decidable?""

Vw lupo gti insurance!!?

hi there, im nearly 17 in a few days and i want to buy a VW Lupo GTI for my first car but im not sure how much the insurance will cost because it is a GTI. does anyone have any ideas how much it will cost????? thanks :)""

Where do I go to find public liability insurance?

I am starting to run workshops, teaching creative recycling crafts and require public liability insurance. Could you point me in the right direction please?""

Do I need to have insurance on my leased car even though im not going to use it?

I'm leaving the country and will leave my car in my garage. I will be returning the plates as well. I dont want to pay insurance on a car im not using.

Difference between term life insurance and permanent policies?

My insurance company is offering a term conversion credit if I switch to permanent insurance. What's in it for them, and what is permanent insurance? Whole life? Any benefits for me to change?""

Are VW Polos quite cheap to insure?

I'm looking for my first car, and I know which cars are cheap to insure, but was wondering whether VW polos are cheap to insure, as I seem to be getting quotes ovr 2000 for majority of the cars I'm browsing. I know that polo's are fairly cheap and reliable and I love them :) Thanks.""

How much would car insurance be for a 16 yr old driver in indiana?

I took drivers Ed and have good grades just wondering like an estimate of how much it will cost Also what is the consenquence for driving wit no insurance

""I just got married, does my parents health insurance still cover me?""

I got married on the 5th of december of 2010, neither my husband or I has health insurance through our work, and neither of us are still attending college, I know they have made a lot of changes with Health insurance lately and I have a prescription that usually costs about $200/month, but with the Insurance it is only $15, I stumbled upon a website that says I can still be considered a dependent even if I am married, since my job doesn't offer Health plans, but it doesn't say anything about being married in the middle of the insurance plan year (starts and ends in August). The website is http://quinnscommentary.com/2010/03/24/no-child-left-behind-big-changes-for-employers-and-employees-as-adult-children-remain-in-health-plans/ If anyone can dicipher if it does in fact state anything about being married within the insured year, or if you know of any other websites, or anything about how marriage affects health insurance with all the new plans and Amendments to those plans. Any and all help will be greatly appreciated!""

""Silly car insurance cost, why so much?

I am a 40 year old woman who is taking my driving test next week. I have run through some quotes for a car (nothing flash or sporty) and the cheapest I can find is 1450 fully comp. I thought this was some kind of joke but it appears to be true. Why is it so much? I'm not a young person but this has priced me out of affording a car for the foreseeable future. I've just wasted 4 months learning. Why on earth is it so much and why are they getting away with it? It would be cheaper to take the risk and get a fine if I was unlucky enough to be stopped surely? Not going to do that before anyone gets on their high horse but just saying.

""How much does insurance cost, for a trail blazer??

thats the car i have but the insurance exspired

Where does car insurance go when yo do not have an accident?

what happens to the money you give to car insurance companies when you dont have an accident?

How much is equine medical insurance?

I know equine medical insurance differs form breed, age, and value of the horse but what would you think a 9 year old $13,000 TB's life insurance would be?""

""How good would a 1.6 Renault Clio RXE for road tax ,insurance running costs be?""

How good would a 1.6 Renault Clio RXE for road tax ,insurance running costs be?""

How much would insurance be on a Mustang GT for a 16 year old driver?

Please give me a price range. Not any comments like a lot or to much. Please give me a price range. Many thanks.

How much would homeowners insurance cost on a 1.2 million dollar house?

It's in southern California. I'm just asking for a rough estimate please.

Learning to drive questions?

From england. Ok so a few quetrions. On average, how many lessons does it usually take before you can take the test? Is there a set minimum of lessons or do you take the test when you feel ready? How much on average does each lesson cost? Is it true i wont be able to get insurance on a 1.8 or 1.6? How much did you spend on your first car? Answers to do with England please !""

I need affordable health insures help?

I need affordable health insures help?

Does she have to pay the no insurance ticket?

My daughter just completed her drivers ed class so I let her drive to school. she was stopped and ticketed for no license and no insurance my car is covered and current. Q does she have to pay the no insurance ticket

Help Car Insurance help?

Im 16 and im gettin a 2003 cadillac CTS when i get my licences and i have a few questions. The car is $10,932 how much would the down payment be also how much monthly plus insurance?""

Question about home insurance?

can u give me an idea how much home insurance would be on a 75000 home?

How much does it cost to fill up a 2008 Chevy Malibu and how much is the insurance?

How much does it cost to fill up a 2008 Chevy Malibu and how much is the insurance?

Is car insurance for young people cheap in america?

just wondering in contrast to UK car insurance.

Motorcycle insurance question?

Hey, I dropped my motorcycle on the right side yesterday during a turn. It's a 2009 Kawasaki Ninja 250r. Two pieces of fairing were damaged pretty badly (right side and front piece). I just got insurance the day of the drop (before dropping it). Will insurance cover the damage? Also is it even worth getting them involved? I already have very very high insurance ($400 a month for a Honda Odyssey) due to previous car accident. I don't want to get any more things on my record. Will my insurance go up if I call them? The replacement fairings will cost me $560 out my pocket. I have a $250 deductible on the bike. So I would save about $300. Is it worth it?""

""How much, on average, does it cost to add an umbrella policy to your homeowners insurance? i'm just looking

for a starting point. a general ballpark figure or range for how much this type of additional insurance costs. thanks in advance for any help.

Types of car insurances?

types of car insurances available?

How much would insurance cost for a '92 ford thunderbird?

How much would insurance cost for a '92 ford thunderbird?

Auto insurance question in Michigan?

i am making monthly payments on a brand new 2008 colbot that i got in dec 2007. I have shopped around for cheaper full coverage auto insurance, that what i already have. I can't seem to find no car insurance cheaper than what i have. My car insurance is more than my car payment. I have talked to a few insurance companies and we went over different things that could make it cheaper. But, they can't beat the price that i already have. My credit isn't the best, but shouldn't a car payment be more than insurance? Anyone have any ideas where and how i could get a cheaper car insurance policy?""

I am a newly licensed 6-20 Florida Insurance Adjuster. My goal is to eventually become an independent adjuster?

I'm thinking since I have no experience, I would start out as a staff adjuster but no one will hire me. Any tips on how to break in? All info is greatly appreciated.""

How and where can I get car insurance how much will it cost?

I called rent a wreck and they said in order for me to rent a car I need car insurance?

I want to know how much the car insurance is going to cost me if i get a peugeot 106 quicksilver or?

a Golf Mark 4 with Pass plus and Without Pass Plus? TY Im 17years old aswell and havent passed yet will do soon

""Looking for good, yet affordable dental insurance. (Have health insurance -- only need dental)?""

Looking for good, yet affordable dental insurance. (Have health insurance -- only need dental)?""

How much roughly would car insurance be for a new male driver aged 25?

My husband is going to take his driving test soon so we can buy a car but i dont know how much to budget in for car insurance as neither of us has driven before and haven't dealt with car insurance before. We would probably just buy a cheap runaround like a ford fiesta 1.4 engine or a car like this (roughly 500 in value) and wondered hw much we should expect to pay for a years insurance on this. i know it will be more expensive than other drivers as its for a new driver and a male but I would really appreciate it if someone could give me a rough figure. thanks :D ps. i dont need links to any comparison sites as they only work if you have a car already and all the details! thankyou! :)

Will I be able to buy car insurance?Thanks?

Im 19 and I was on my dads Metropolitan insurance company. I had 2004 Honda Civic but my dad had the car title in his name. I crashed my car and I was at fault so now we're waiting for the case to settle. My dad wants to wait for the case to settle before I buy another car. The case might take another year or more before its settled. I would like to buy my own insurance and my own car. How will the insurance work out or whats the cheapest insurance? Thanks

How much would it be to insure an Acura RSX if im 22?

Im getting an Acura RSX but i want to know how much it will be to insure it. I know this is going to sound funny but my gramma wants to put it under her insurance and it covers who ever is driving the car but how much cheaper id that gonna be?? shes like 63 i think l0l...

Does the insurance rate go up or more if I get my license?

Ok my mom and dad both have a car and they bought a car just for me. It already has insurance and license plate and everything. I'm planning on getting my license soon. So when I do would my dad have to pay for more money because of me driving it? I mean the insurance is on my dads name. Thx for replying.

What is the average insurance amount yearly for a mitsubishi eclipse?(1996-2000)?

What is the average insurance amount yearly for a mitsubishi eclipse?(1996-2000)?

Can I get a life and health insurance license in GA with a misdemeanor Disorderly Conduct?

can anyone find the link that explains the rules for persons with convictions when attempting to obtain a life and health insurance license? I used to have a license, but let it lapse during my divorce. It seems like I remember something about misdemeanors on the application. Thanks.""

Car insurance?

So im thinking of getting a car... but im 16 so i know insurance is gonna be insane, and im in MA so its mandatory. Anyways from what i understand it cost way less to get added to your parents policy. But can i do that if im not driving their car, but my own car i bought (not yet)? I cant buy the car in their name... has to be in mine...""

What are the benefits of getting insurance through your employer?

I know this is a broad question, since there are so many different types of insurance policies as well as the incentives that a company may have for their employees. I was just looking at insurance that you can buy online (not through your employer) and was wondering the main advantages/benefits that come with paying for insurance through your employer.""

Car Insurance?

I just need some really cheap auto insurance for the next 6 months...... The cheapest I've found is ESurance but I've heard that they're known to drop you for absolutely no reason? I don't care about the whole they take forever to get back to you and stuff I just don't wanna randomly be dropped, being that it's only for 6 months....... anyone know anything about esurance? Thanks:)""

""Can a car insurance provider cancel your insurance quote, without giving a refund?""

I recently renewed my car insurance with the Cooperative, I was charged and thought I was insured. After a few days I received a letter from the cooperative saying they have decided to terminate the insurance quote. If i want to know why I have to write a letter. After noticing Ive been charged and not given back a refund, I called and asked why this is. They said they wont refund the money, and all I could do is appeal for the money! They said the appeal has to be a letter sent to them, not email. Can they do this? Not only did they refuse to insure me (when they have done for so many years now), then they sent a letter saying they've decided to terminate it, without giving a reason, and they dont even mention anything about the money theyv charged me, I had to call in, and they tell me they wont refund the money?????""

Is it possible to get affordable life insurance and dental insurance if i am not employed?

.........and if so, roughly how much money would this cost per month?""

How does multiple car discount work on insurance? ?

Ok so I have an sr22 and my friend said I could add a car for a discount, so I added my moms car. I only have liability. So does my moms car have liability too? Sorry the insurance guy didn't explain it all that well.""

What is the average annual/weekly contents insurance cost?

What is yours or what is the average?

Does my car have to have insurance even if its not being driven?

I bought a car that needs a little work. So its not being driven and it is sitting in my driveway while i drive my other car. Does it have to have plates and insurance on it if i am not driving it at all??

Question about home insurance?

can u give me an idea how much home insurance would be on a 75000 home?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-can-happen-i-refuse-pay-company-worked-my-house-took-jose-powers/"

[kenbinru]

I Can’t Believe I Have the Girlfriend of My Dreams! (An Unromantic Love Comedy LN) Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

         Sigh.

         A 70.

         Thank God for Yuki-san’s chocolates...

It’s been a few days since Valentines’ Day and I noticed a lot of tension the school was feeling died down. In fact, the school’s vibe changed towards something more light-hearted, where you could hear small teases and occasional bickering from the new couples. I wish that was the case for me and Yuki-san in this world, but my goal was at least one step closer. She and I have been somewhat more comfortable than before. Like last Tuesday, she woke me up when the teacher asked me a question. I knew the answer of course. But other than that small incident, it is kinda awkward between both of us. There’s an indescribable distance between us, even though she did give me chocolate for Valentines. I’m still trying to think of a proper way to thank her, but I have no clue!

         Daisuke Akatsuka, my best friend since forever comes up to me at the right moment. He was still wolfing down the chocolates he received from the girls all around school. If anyone had any tips about how to deal with my dilemma right now, it was him.

         Play it smooth Kazuki! Don’t make it so obvious what you’re trying to do.

         “H-hey buddy ol’ pal.”

         I pat him on the back like he does to me. It makes him cringe.

         “Uh…what are you doing?”

         C’mon Kazuki you can still save this!

         “N-nothing! Just wondering how my partner in crime is doing these days…haha” I try to laugh it off.

         Daisuke wasn’t falling for it though. But he’s been through my charades long enough that he simply sighs and lets it go.

         “Well…things could be better, but that’s for another time. I guess if you don’t need my help I’m gonna go back to class…”

         “No wait!”

         “Hmph! I knew it!”

         Daisuke turned around with a smug grin.

         He knows me too well…

         “Well…here’s my problem Daisuke…”

         I explained to him my current dilemma of what to do as a thank you for Yuki-san’s chocolates last Valentines’ Day. I had to make my shot count, since Akane wanted me to “surprise” her other self.

         My girlfriend didn’t even give me a hint! How cruel!

         “I see…” said Daisuke.

         “You see Kazuki…when a man likes a woman, it can make you do very stupid things. Things like you when you confessed to the Ice Witch in front of the whole school…”

         “Y-you don’t have to remind me!” I exclaim.

         “But…you managed to someone recover from that and are now on good standing with her. If anything…you gotta be smooth…” as he slicked back his bleach blond-tip hair.

         “Smooth…?”

         “No no! You gotta be smoooooooooth…”

         I don’t get it.

         “Ah…smooooooooth…” as I copied his exact motion for slicking back his hair.

         “But you get confessed to like on a daily basis Daisuke!”

         “W-well…it’s because I’m not interested in them! There’s someone else…” he steps back.

         “Wait! So that means…!”

         Who does Daisuke like?!?

         “Yeah…I’m just waiting for the right opportunity…”

He cunningly smiles to me and rubs his hands together.

         “HEY! What are you two dummies talking about?!?”    

         Suddenly comes Kaneko-san the school’s roadrunner from Class 2-A. She ran in here like her usual entrance, leaving a dust cloud behind her. It was like she used instant transmission since she suddenly appeared right behind Daisuke.  

         “N-nothing Mary!” said Daisuke.

         He and I were trying very hard to hide our embarrassment from Kaneko-san catching us off guard while bro-talk.

         Now’s not the time…

         “U-uh…I got something to do. Bathroom. I feel an uh…stomach-ache! Bye!”

         Daisuke runs off leaving a dust cloud behind him exiting Class 2-B.

         “Okay….” said a confused Kaneko-san.

         “Anyways…KAZUKI! What was your score on last week’s test…?”

         Kaneko-san had a smug look on her face. She was trying very hard not to burst out and straight up say her presumably high score. I suck up my pride and tell her the truth.

         “You win this time Kaneko-san, I barely passed…”

        I was ready for Kaneko-san to start laughing or teasing me, but this time she didn’t. She took my test and looked at it thoroughly. Instead of a simple beck and call like usual, she had a genuine look of concern. I’m not sure what would be worse.

         “Wow…you really messed up Kazuki. You know I was sort of joking about you being an idiot…”

         Yuki-san overhears our conversation and turns towards me. Since Valentines’, I’ve noticed that she tended to smile more, ever so slightly though. Both Kaneko-san and I are waiting for her to grace us with her wisdom.

         “I’m sorry Kaneshiro-san, but what happened?”

         Well it probably had to do with the chocolate…but I can’t say that!

         “I’m not sure Yuki-san, I just didn’t have enough time to study given what’s happened recently…”

         Besides Valentines’ Day, none of us spoke about the “rescuing Yuki-san” incident that happened. We were all glad to be alive and mostly come out of it unharmed. Even Daisuke didn’t want to talk much about what happened, even though I was completely fine afterwards except for a knock on the head. Being his best friend, I couldn’t be cruel and make him relive memories of thinking his friend was dead. Kaneko-san, Daisuke, Yuki-san, and I all grew a newfound appreciation for each other, as we were all connected with that experience.

         “I hope you do better next time Kaneshiro-san.” said Yuki-san.

         With that surged a newfound motivation in me.

         I won’t let you down next time Yuki-san!

                   I’m back in Dr. Mori’s office. Needless to say she wasn’t a big fan of Valentines’ Day. This time she wasn’t drinking coffee at all. Instead she was dumping a whole box of candy into her mouth. I never thought of her having a sweet tooth, but I saw that the clearance sticker on the box was too good to pass up. It was still part of our usual check-ins after my accident. So far, I like to think that I’ve been progressing well with my recovery process. Although I still had some small headaches here and there, it was nothing in comparison to what was happening with my apparent “World-hopping” power. Dr. Mori said the closest explanation was lucid dreaming, but even then that theory still had some holes.

         “Y’know Kazuki-kun, I’ve heard that you barely passed the latest exam. What’s my favorite idiot-student doing?”

         “I’m not sure myself Dr. Mori. I just didn’t have enough time to study given what’s happened recently.”

         “I see…”

         Dr. Mori ripped open another box of candy and continued stuffing her mouth with chocolates.

         “Even Mary’s been doing better than you-” She almost chokes but manages to gulp down the last piece. “-and your job was to teach her!”

         “I-I’m sorry Dr. Mori!” as I bow my head in shame.

She gave a long sigh.  

         “It can’t be helped. Why don’t I find someone to tutor you? How about…I don’t know? Akane Yuki from your class?”

         Dr. Mori grinned from ear to ear.

         Oh. Oh!!! Thank you Dr. Mori! But I can’t show her I’m ok with that, she’ll make fun of me more!

         “Uh…sure. You’re right it can’t be helped. I’ll swallow my pride as a man and accept my new teacher.”

         Dr. Mori pats herself on the back with her genius idea.

         “Yuki-san isn’t in any clubs either, and don’t worry, she won’t say no. Word goes around there’s a popular cat café across town…and the school forbids students from having jobs.”

         She was seconds away from maniacal laughter, but she held back. It was like she had been waiting for an opportunity to bring down Yuki-san.

         What does she have in store???

         “Also, you’re welcome Kazuki-kun. Ah young love!”

         Someone marry her please!

           It was time for my regular study session with Kaneko-san. However, Dr. Mori already told me that Yuki-san should be joining us today. I tried to go to the study room with her but she left too quickly from my class. As I’m heading towards our usual room, I see Kaneko-san.

         “Hey Kaneko-san wait up!”

         I run up to her from behind. She slows down and I catch up with her.

         “You’re running late idiot.” said Kaneko-san.

         I can tell that she wasn’t in the right mood today. Ever since the results of the test I’ve been getting weird mixed signals from her. Our previous tutoring sessions were mostly quiet, and it was me doing most of the talking, when it would usually be her screaming in frustration of being unable to figure out the questions.

         “Are you ok Kaneko-san?”

         “Yes, everything’s fine.”

         The thing is, Akane told me that when girls say they’re ok like that, they’re not really ok.

         I may be dense, but not that dense!

         It was obvious to me that something was bothering Kaneko-san, and I asked her a few days ago what was wrong. She simply replied that nothing was wrong. Kaneko-san was the school’s best athlete after all; I can’t even imagine the expectations everyone else had for her.

         We reach our room, and Kaneko-san being the impulsive one slides the door open with a bang. Only she suddenly stops and blocks me from entering with her tiny frame.

         “Hey…what’s the hold up?”

         I look over Kaneko-san’s head, and there she was. Yuki-san was already inside our room, reading her usual black-covered book. With her presence, the atmosphere changed from a happy-go-lucky vibe that me and Kaneko-san built up, into something that was more serious. She was sitting at the end of the table, like a queen sitting on her throne. She was patiently waiting for both of us and it seemed that she didn’t even notice that we were here. Kaneko-san and I come into the room, finally catching her attention.

         “What are you doing here?” said Kaneko-san.

         Kaneko-san was biting her tiny lips, as Yuki-san promptly closed her book and stood up from the chair.

         “I have been assigned by Dr. Mori to help you two raise up your grades.”  said Yuki-san.

         Yuki-san sat right back down onto her chair, and popped open her book, trying to find the part she left off. She didn’t even glance at the two of us still standing in front of the table. Kaneko-san slammed her bag in front of Yuki-san.

         “I don’t need your help. I already have Kazuki. Don’t you have a job?” said Kaneko-san.

         “I do. But Dr. Mori made me an offer I cannot refuse. I have already told my manager that I would do more shifts on other days instead.”

         Despite all that, Yuki-san was still unfazed, reading her book.

“Besides, you two would be hopeless without me.”  

Yuki-san closed her book finally, and let out her cold gaze, befitting of her “Ice Witch of Kasumigaseki High,” reputation.

         “Nghhhh…” Kaneko-san didn’t have a rebuttal to Yuki-san.

         I better say something before these two kill each other!

         “Kaneko-san c’mon. I’ve been doing badly lately and I need some help too. A student can’t be better than his master right? Even a master needs a refresher or two every once in a while haha…”

         Kaneko-san stops pouting and gives up. Defeated, she pulls out her notebook and starts looking over her work. I open up my science notebook and we begin our study session.

         “Alright you two, I have already analyzed your strengths and weaknesses. Kaneko-san, you have improved in English, but it leads more to be desired. However, your literature score was better than your previous score. So let us start with English. For Kaneshiro-san, you have been in a disappointing downward spiral ever since your incident. My condolences for your situation, but your literature grades have been slipping, so we will start there with you.”

         It was the cold calculating Yuki-san that everyone of Kasumigaseki High knew. Both Kaneko-san and I were hit in our pride by her thorough examination of our weaknesses. It was different from my tutoring style, and I had to admit that it felt weird. I put away my science notebook and pull out my dusty literature textbook. I look out into the window and see gray clouds forming in the skyline.

         This is gonna be a long afternoon…

           I’m in my bed now. What’s crazy was that it suddenly started raining! The weather forecast only gave about a 10% chance of rain, but it still happened anyways. Luckily for me, I left before it started pouring.

Oh Wait! It would’ve been perfect if I had an umbrella for Yuki-san!

I grab my pillow to the side and yell into it. For some reason, I was still bothered by Kaneko-san. Kaneko-san’s been weird since Valentines’ Day, and I haven’t been making much progress on Yuki-san either, even with Akane’s help. Akane said that Yuki-san probably doesn’t what to do either. Those two have a lot more in common than you would expect.

         This is giving me a headache…

         In a few hours I’ll wake up in the other world, World A(kane). Like usual, I wake up to see the bedhead of Akane Yuki sleeping next to me. It feels like a dream when I see her, but it’s all real. So far she and I have been studying together more than anything. To be honest, even though we’re apparently a couple, we haven’t really done anything “couple-y.” We haven’t done anything that other couples do, it’s like we’re both too busy with school for anything like that. We’ve been trying to have some spare time to do something together. Akane likes to think of it as “practice for Yuki-san.” She’s been planning a date together sometime soon, because it’s been a while since our last date at the amusement park. She wouldn’t let me on the details either, except to expect a surprise.

         We didn’t even do anything for Valentines!

         I open my eyes to confirm that I was in the other world now. I see Akane sleeping softly next to me with her red ribbon. I can feel her breathe as her sweet air hits me in the face. It feels pleasant. Even with her snoring and some random mumbling, it was undeniably cute.  

         “Nyaaaaa kitty cat…”  

         How cute! My heart!

         I head down to the kitchen to start making breakfast. Mother already left since she and dad were still on their Valentines’ Day trip. It was my turn to cook something, since Akane would wake up earlier than me usually and cook anyways (not that I didn’t mind, her cooking is on par with my mother’s!). My mother hasn’t revealed her secret recipe just yet, but I managed to come up with my own from observing her closely. The aroma of the spices and grilled meat starts to diffuse around my house.

         “Hamburg…steakkkkkkk my favoriteeeeeee…”

What the?!?

A zombie-like Akane suddenly appeared behind me! She was dragging her body forward, with her arms in front of her like she was in a trance. She paused, only to continue follow the scent with her sniffing.

She’s not wearing any pants! I can see her pant-!

         Akane starts getting closer and closer to me in the kitchen, until she finally wakes up in front of me.

         “AHHHHHH!”

         Her scream and push both knocks us down onto the floor.

         She’s on top of me!

         Her long black hair covered most of my face, so I couldn’t see her as clearly. I could however see the blush that was powerful enough to seep through her hair. She stands up and helps me off the ground.

         “I-I’m sorry Kazuki!”

         “I-I’m fine really!”

         We’re both started by a loud sizzling noise on the stove-top.

“Oh the hamburg steak!”

         Before I could react, Akane already managed to take off the hamburg steak to let it rest on a plate. In one quick motion, she managed to cut the veggies and started to sauté them in the same pan.

         “Y’know, it’s my turn today Akane.”  

         “Yeah, but I don’t mind. You should be grateful considering you knocked me down like that…”

         Hey wait a minute!

         “You knocked me down since you can’t stop your appetite!”

         Akane starts to fake cry again.

         “How can you say that to a fair maiden like me?”

         She stops the comedy routine and promptly serves the veggies along with the hamburg steaks. I’m not sure if my hamburg steaks would have come out as well as hers.

         “Dig in!” said Akane.

           I help her wash the dishes since that was the least I could do. Akane was unusually quiet this morning. Too quiet. She was staring off into space, randomly blushing here and there during our meal. Despite the rather awkward moment this morning (not that I didn’t mind!), it felt like she wanted to say something but was hiding it.

         “H-hey Akan-“

         “H-hey Kazuk-“

         We both have the same thought and I’m interrupted. I can’t help but laugh, and she does as well.

         We’re in sync this morning.

         “You go first Akane.”

         “I didn’t know when to bring this up, but I’ve planned a practice date for you Kazuki! It’ll be fun sinc-“

         She gets interrupted by the doorbell.

         Strange, who could that be?

         “I’ll get the door!”

         I dash to the door to see who’s already here this early in the morning. I open it only to see Daisuke and Kaneko-san together.

         What are they doing here? Not that I don’t mind!

         Akane comes to the front entrance door and stands behind me.

         “Hey it’s Daisuke and Mary-chan!” said Akane.

         It’s strange since Daisuke and Mary-chan both looked away from me when Akane appeared behind me. Until I realized that Akane still wasn’t wearing any pants. I whispered into her ear and let her know.

         “U-uh…like I was going to say, Daisuke and Mary-chan will be joining us on a double date. After I change haha sorry!” and she scuttles away.

         Wait what?

         Upon further observation, I notice that Daisuke and Kaneko-san were equally embarrassed; looking away from each other. But Kaneko-san had a slight smile of satisfaction. I look and notice they were holding hands, albeit reluctantly.

         Then that means…?

         “U-uh…let me change too guys. Come in.”

         So they will be joining us on a double date?!?

           Good grief…I was just walking back from the hospital when it suddenly started pouring. It’s just my luck that a 10% chance of rain actually happens. I try to dry my wet hair the best I can.  

         “Achoo!”

         A cold is the last thing I needed. Now I was stuck here at the old dusty bus stop along the road, and all I could hear was the loud cacophony of pouring rain, hitting the metal covering above my head. I hear what sounded to be splashes coming closer and closer to me.  

         “NGHRNGHRNGHR!”

         A girl in a red track suit wearing a Kasumigaseki High uniform underneath appeared! She lowers her track suit that was covering her head, and her blond hair flows out from it. It was Mary! She was pouring wet from running in the rain. The Roadrunner of Kasumigaseki High was standing in front of me at an abandoned bus stop.

         “M-Mary?!?”

         She tries to move the wet hair out of her face, and her blue eyes meet mine. Her cheeks were bright red from the cold.

         “Oh! Daisuke-kun! What a weird coincidence haha! Thankfully I found someplace to stay dry until it stops!”

         It was indeed a weird coincidence. I didn’t know Mary lived around this part of town.

         “Do you live around here Mary?”

         She untied one of her shoes and tilted them to the side, trying to get some water out of it. Her socks were wet enough that I could see through them.

         “No not really. This is just my usual route I run for track after having tutoring sessions with Kazuki. When it started raining I ran even faster!” said Mary.

         School was almost 2 km away. When she showed up she barely showed any signs that she was running for that long. She finally sits down next to me.

         “Achoo!”

         I cover my sneeze with my arm and move in the other direction away from Mary.

         “I-I’m sorry! I think the rain’s gonna give me a cold.”

         I try to laugh it off. But Mary reaches into her bag and pulls out some paper tissues.

         “You have snot all over your face haha!” said Mary.

         She and I joked around a lot. As I reached for one of the tissues, I can see that the white shirt that was part of her uniform was soaking wet. I could see through! I quickly grab a tissue blow my nose into it.

         “T-Thanks Mary!”

         I can feel my face was getting heated, and my forehead was burning up.

         “Uh…are you okay Daisuke?” said Mary.

         “I-I’m fine!”

         Any other girl I was normal around. Confessions were almost on a daily basis. It was just with Mary for some reason I felt weird. I knew everything about this girl over the year. I knew her favorite color, I knew her favorite song, I knew her favorite food. We’re both sitting at the bus stop together, waiting for the rain to subside.    

[aspenrosearts]

Anthony Metivier E: 161 S: 4

Butterflies of Wisdom is a podcast where we want to share your story. We want to share your knowledge if you have a small business if you are an author or a Doctor, or whatever you are. With a disability or not, we want to share your story to inspire others. To learn more about Butterflies of Wisdom visithttp://butterfliesofwisdom.weebly.com/ Be sure to FOLLOW this program https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/wins-women-of-wisdom/id1060801905. To find out more about Challenge Aspen go to https://challengeaspen.org. To see how Win walk and about Ekso go to http://www.bridgingbionics.org/ or email Amanda Boxtel at amanda@bridgingbionics.org.

  On Butterflies of Wisdom today, Best-Selling Author, Win C welcomes Anthony Metivier. Bestselling author Anthony Metivier is the founder of the Magnetic Memory Method, a systematic, 21st Century approach to memorizing foreign language vocabulary, dreams, names, music, poetry and much more in ways that are easy, elegant, effective and fun. Metivier writes his books for a variety of people who need help with some different memory needs. What separates him from other authors on memory skills and development is that he doesn't focus on long strings of digits or training for memory championships. He offers simple techniques for memorizing the information that will change your daily life: foreign language vocabulary, names, and faces, material for tests and exams. There's no hype in his books, just techniques that work. To learn more about Anthony visit http://www.magneticmemorymethod.com/. To find out more about Win Kelly Charles visit https://wincharles.wix.com/win-charles. To follow Win on Twitter go to @winkellycharles. To follow Win on Instagram go to winkcharles. To support Win on Snapchat go to Wcharles422. To follow Win on Snapchat go to Wcharles422. To see Win's art go to https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/2-win-charles.html. "Books for Books," you buy Win's books so she can purchase books for school. "Getting through school is a 'win' for her fans and a 'win' for her." Please send feedback to Win by email her at winwwow@gmail.com, or go tohttp://survey.libsyn.com/winwisdom andhttp://survey.libsyn.com/thebutterfly. To be on the show please fill out the intake at http://bit.ly/bow2017. Butterflies of Wisdom sponsored by Kittr a new social media tool that is bringing about new ways of posting on Twitter. It's fun, full of free content you can use, helps you schedule at the best times, is easy to use, and it will help you get more followers. Visit Kittr atgokittr.com. This is a 20% off code for www.gracedbygrit.com. The code will be XOBUTTERFLIES. If you would like to support Butterflies of Wisdom go to https://www.patreon.com/wcharles. If you want to check out what Win’s friend, Dannidoll, is doing (a.k.a. Dannielle) go to https://www.facebook.com/dannidolltheragdollclown/?notif_t=page_invite_accepted&notif_id=1492366163404241. To learn more about Danielle visithttp://www.dancanshred.com. To learn about the magic of Siri go to https://www.udemy.com/writing-a-book-using-siri/?utm_campaign=email&utm_source=sendgrid.com&utm_medium=email. If you want to donate Butterflies of Wisdom, please send a PayPal donation toaspenrosearts@gmail.com or aspenwin@gmail.com. Please donate to Challenge Aspen or the Bridging Bionics Foundation. Please send a check in the mail so 100% goes to Bridging Bionics Foundation. 

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  Tuesday notes from fans:

  Jennifer is inviting you to be a part of Jenny’s Tutoring in Jackson, NJ area. She can tutor online, SKYPE, or on the phone as well. She can tutor in the following areas:  American Sign Language, English as a Second Language, Psychology, History, Special Needs, basic skills (reading, writing and math), career services and essays etc. Jennifer Beilis is a current American Sign Language Professor on the college level and past Psychology Professor as well. She holds her Master’s degree in Education and Deafness Rehabilitation, New York University, SCPI, BA in Psychology, Rowan University and AA in Social Sciences from Brookdale Community College. You can email or call her at Jenny08520@aol.com or (732)534-6422, FB Jenny08520@aol.com or Twitter @JenniferBeilis and Linked In #JenniferBeilis.

  Dear Ones. Beloveds. I am writing to you with so much deep Love, Joy Gratitude towards this new Passionate Powerful Prayer of a Project that I feel CALLED to NEED. In 2014, Mama and I so excitedly (you have no idea how excited I was) had the beyond beautifully blessed Blessing of attending Dear Oprah Winfrey's "Live Your Best Life Tour" in Newark N J at the Prudential Center. Among the MANY illuminaries there, Iyanla Vanzant. Dear One. Dear Illuminating Iyanla was there and she shared this beyond incredible insight that has stayed with me ever since (that really had not become an "aha" moment for me in my life until about 3 years after this unforgettable event).She said...you ready Beloveds? She said "You are all going through the Labor Pains of Life..." Yep. And it wasn't until a few years later that I have come to the Radiant Realization that I AM just becoming FULL TERM...let me share a little about what I mean by that...for those of you that don't know my full life story, I was born permaturely. I was born 3 1/2 months early, weighing only 1 pound 5 ounces. I did not know my parents did not know if I was going to survive...but by the Grace of God, I AM here and I DID survive and thrive and just NOW I AM being born. I am going through the "Labor Pains of Life" and I am just NOW coming into my OWN as a Warrior Woman. And I NEED YOUR help in helping me help myself towards my "Rites of Passage" into deeper denser delicious Warrior Womanhoodness. This women's retreat means more to me than any of you will ever know. 2017 is the year of Warriorness for me on many levels in my life and to have the amazing unforgettable beyond beautifully blessed experience of studying with none other than Ms. Ilunimating Iyanla Vanzant...oh my goodness! I will love you guys forever!

With this AMAZING INCREDIBLE Rites of Passage, I will come into my OWN as a better more connected Woman, Partner, as a better Yoga Teacher, student, disability activist writer, aspiring author, passionate conscious activist, speaker...

I thank you all BEYOND for this generous gift of gratitude of life of BECOMING. I love you all.Blessed Be. Onward.xx

    Thank you Win. Thank you Everyone!

  Ela W

Check out this episode! life of win

[divyap23-blog]

Thoughts & Reflections on MS-I

I’m sitting at the airport, waiting to board my flight home as the first year of medical school has officially come to a close. It’s hard to believe that a year ago, I was just establishing that I would be moving to Maine to start a new life. I can’t remember a time of my life where dreams of this chapter weren’t floating around in my brain. However, I was also moving to a new state, 1300 miles away from home, to a place I did not know a single soul, to start what would become the hardest year educationally, emotionally, and mentally thus far. Since then, I felt this ongoing whirlwind of emotions and vibes: excitement for my future to begin, fear of not being good enough, anxiety for creating new friendships, love for the people who had continued to support me regardless of the sacrifices I was making, worry that those sacrifices were not always worth it, commitment because I knew that they were, strength for every step I was able to take, inspiration from those who walked this path with me. 

Every step of this journey so far (with many more to come) has brought its own challenge, its own sense of accomplishment, its own joy, and its own lesson. I'm still processing through how fast this year went.  I could try to put this year into numbers: 6 blocks, 175 classmates, 182 tests, 1302 hours of class, 3 visits home, but that would never be able to accurately paint a picture of this year. 

This year, a year where I learned more than I thought possible. A year that I went from not knowing how to properly palpate a clavicle to being able to feel tissue texture changes in every part of the body and perform countless OMM techniques and provide relief for future patients and my peers.  A year where I went from not knowing the basics of taking a history (LOPPQQRSTU.... what in the world do these letters mean...?) to being able  to not only take every piece of that history, but also to continue with a specific review of systems and further present that information to my professors and future attendings. A year I went into barely able to scratch the surface of basic sciences to learning the depths of physiology, biochemistry, microbiology, pharmacology, immunology, evidence-based-medicine, molecular diagnostics, virology, and more. A year I went into with no concept of clinical skills and came out of the first week learning to take blood pressure, vitals, and eventually leaving knowing how to perform a musculoskeletal exam for upper and lower extremity, a respiratory exam, a cardiovascular exam, a GI/GU exam, and a Head-Ears-Nose-&-Throat Exam. This year, I learned so much more than all of this, though. I learned about interacting with patients. I learned about the physician I hope to be. I learned from families whose children have been affected by lifelong congenital diseases, from amazing people whose spouses have dementia, from chronic pain patients, from professors with personal experience working with and being in the patient’s shoes. I learned about the medicine, but I also learned about the people. I learned from the medical students who came before me and who dedicated their time to teaching us about the book-knowledge and about the life-wisdom they had gained along the way. I learned about myself, starting to develop my own doctor persona as I began interacting with Spex patients and gaining the first step of my clinical experience. I learned from female physicians who paved the way for me to walk this path. I learned and learned and learned  until my brain felt so full, I didn’t think it could retain anymore, and yet, I knew there was still so much more to come. This is a profession that the learning will never end , and I couldn’t be more grateful for that opportunity. 

This year, as amazing as it was, was not always glamorous. More often than not, it looked like a messy bun, leggings, mugs filled to the brim with coffee (& plenty of spilt coffee along with that), eating most meals at the library, highlighters (Thanks to my perfect COMpanion for starting the year off with a great collection of them), and a large table in the library near the window scattered with textbooks/my laptop/pens of every color/print outs/handwritten notes/chargers/empty bags that had held fruit or almonds or vegetables at one point. It was a year full of selfishness and sacrifice. I was selfish. I put the lives of my future patients above almost everything else. I put my medical education above socializing, above phone calls with friends, above the support system that continued to show me love and understanding despite all of that. For the first time in my life, I put my dream and myself first. & there were plenty of times it almost broke me down to do so. I had to sacrifice phone calls and Facetimes with people who meant and continue to mean more to me than they will ever realize, with my family, with my most precious relationships. I had to ask so much of them consistently -- for their love, for their understanding, for their kindness...and how unbelievably lucky am I that so many of them did this and more. They sent me so much support, so much warmth, so much luck. They believed in me and pushed me to believe in myself. They let me make the sacrifices I needed to make and did so with grace. For that, I could never be more grateful. 

I could never do enough to repay those people. My family, my boyfriend, my best friends. I could never expect everyone to understand, and there were friendships that had and continue to face their hardships because of it. There are friendships that I know will continue to fade. My heart hurt to not be able to give the people I value most in life the priority I felt that they deserved, but this is part of the process. This is part of the sacrifice. This is part of fighting for my dream. That being said, I know how lucky I am to have people who will allow me to make these sacrifices and love me all the while. 

On top of that, med school gave me a new support system, a group of amazing individuals who are able to understand and commiserate in the hardships but also push each other to do better and strive for more each day. This group is one I couldn’t be more grateful for. Each one with their own incredible story and their own inspiring ‘why’ and each one so supportive in their own way. My support system here is made up of people I met in so many paths, who continue to remind me how lucky I am to be where I am. This year was filled with days of loneliness and solitude. It had more than its fair share of moments of doubt and fear that this support system would not emerge or that it was not as authentic as it felt. However, every doubt was answered with a reminder that I am where I have dreamed of being my whole life. I am here, finished with my first year of medical school, on my way to saving lives. Each concern of authenticity or love or friendship was greeted with a dinner date, a walk for coffee in the library, a new study resource, an invite to practice OMM with wine, a date to Elements, an answer and explanation to my many questions, and so much more. Med school is made up of so many competitive individuals, individuals who are used to being the best of the best, so it is a difficult transition to come to a place where everyone is used to feeling that way. It is difficult to not want to compare yourself to everyone around you-- compare yourself to what they have done, to how much they studied, to how they were able to take a longer more exciting break than you, to how they did on this test. However, it is these people that get you through it. These people that choose to work together to ensure we all succeed. These people that make you go into anatomy lab at the crack of dawn on a Sunday morning. These people that make you go in on Tuesday nights after you’ve already had a full day to practice your physical exams. These people that go through and talk through the same concept 518305x just to make sure you are all on the same page. These people that keep you sane and order pizza with you after you all just took two HUGE exams but still find yourselves in the OMM lab at 8 pm practicing OMT. These people that become your spontaneous Friday night post-lab plans. These people that convince you watching an hour of Grey’s Anatomy is basically studying since even their latest patient experienced bi-temporal hemianopsia from a pituitary tumor compressing the optic chiasm. These people that push you to be better, work harder, and have fun while you do it. I couldn’t have made it through this year without these people. 

All in all, the first year of medical school was everything I imagined and also nothing like I imagined. It was full of struggles, obstacles, doubt, fear, nerves, and sacrifices. It was not nearly as glamorous as we sometimes imagine it to be. However, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. While that may all be true, this year was also the most inspiring, enthralling, invigorating, life-changing year thus far. This year, I caught my first real glimpse of what it will be like to be a doctor, and now, I know I’ll continue to fight for this dream harder and with more passion than ever before. This year, I learned more about life, about medicine, and about myself than I could have ever expected or imagined. I learned about the things I will sacrifice and the things I won’t. I learned about the balance that I will have to continue to strive for everyday for the rest of my life, but I also learned about my own abilities. I learned about how capable I am. I learned about how much I have yet to learn. 

For anyone dreaming a dream that hasn’t happened quite yet, believe me when I say, when the timing is right, it will happen. Don’t give up. Keep fighting. Keep dreaming. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. You can do anything. It might take all you’ve got, and it might require more than you ever imagined, but if you want it badly enough, it will be out there waiting for you. 

With that, I close out the first year of my newest adventure. I come out of this the same dreamer I went into as, but a dreamer that is a little stronger, a little more knowledgable, and more excited than ever for her future...and also for a couple months she gets to spend at home with her family. 

Cheers for now & here’s to what’s next... 

[itstoughstartingover]

Reviewing Amsterdam and settling into being unsettled

I’m tired of jobs I don’t like. I have grown tired of and disenchanted with every job I’ve ever had. The thing is, this one has been different. I started being disenchanted with it from the week I started. It’s only been about 5 weeks, and I was out of the country for one of them, and I’m counting down the days until I can quit. If I didn’t need my insurance for dental surgery in two weeks I’d put in my notice tomorrow. I’ve had enough dread and nightmares and panic about this job in the short time I’ve been here to be comparable to the end of my time at Perspectives and ECCM. It’s sad, really. I was looking forward to this job, but I hate it. I hate having to respond at a moment’s notice if a call comes in, even if I’m supposed to be going home. There’s an OD in the ER now and if I get a call in the next 55 minutes, I’m expected to go for as long as it takes. It sucks. 

As much as I would love to quit now, it does make sense to stick it out. Rehearsals start on March 20, which is the Monday after my tentative last day if I give my two weeks after the surgery on March 2. So, I have two weeks until I’d be off for surgery, then two weeks afterwards. I’d rather put off the surgery, but after the nasty infection I just had in my wisdom tooth I know I’m better off just getting it done. Besides, I do get bored just sitting at home. I get bored sitting in the office trying to find things to do. Granted, I’m more comfortable at home and don’t worry about the phone ringing and sending me out beyond the end of my shift, but at least I’m paid to be here (however little it may be). Evan will be in Pittsburgh in March, so if I gave notice now I would be sitting alone in our house every day with nothing to do until rehearsals start unless I found something else. I’ve already been looking and applying for other jobs. I’m kind of surprised at myself that I registered for the Civil Service test next Tuesday morning for a supervisor position. I keep trying to get my application to Stairways. I called Chris at ECCM to discuss any openings and am not entirely surprised that I haven’t heard back yet (though I did only call yesterday).

The bottom line is that this job has made me unhappy from the beginning and I don’t want to do it anymore. When I started here after leaving Perspectives, I was excited to be doing work I care about again. It turns out that I’ve just been feeling like I took a big step backwards in terms of what I’m qualified to do, what I’m being paid, and the conditions of the job. I need something with normal business hours so I can perform. My audition Monday night was the happiest and most welcome I’ve felt since I moved back, maybe aside from the Hanukkah party. I’m excited to be going back to A3 and doing something that brings me joy. I’ve stayed depressed in large part due to this job. It’s hard to know that I’m essentially forcing myself to stay unhappy so I can have insurance. 

I don’t like that Tumblr doesn’t date posts. I’m coming back to this about one week later. I just read over my entries from Amsterdam. I have been focused on being unhappy in my job but not knowing what I want to do, and knowing I need theater back in my life. I may not have been completely cognizant of how much this job has been hurting my relationship because I’ve been so unhappy with it. It has also impacted my sense of self worth and my happiness and anxiety tremendously. So, quitting was smart. I heard back from ECCM and have an interview on Friday. I changed the date of the civil service exam for the 14th and started the process of applying for a music therapy online program. In my appointment with Barbara today, I realized that most of the fighting Evan and I did in Amsterdam, since we got back, and even beforehand was because of my anxiety and depression being so enhanced by this job. Before I started working I was a little resentful of being bored, but I wasn’t having panic attacks on Sunday evening or crying on the floor thinking I’m a failure as an adult. I’ve never had so many nightmares about work before; I had another one last night even though I put in my notice. It did make sense to stick it out, until Evan and I had the blunt conversation that it is hurting our relationship. I’d rather be bored at home than bored or crazed at work and miserable at work. Going back to A3 will give me something to look forward to and start working on, and maybe Evan and Barbara are right and I’ll find a new job quickly. I hope so.  I’m already less miserable with an end date. Even if I’d waited, there would still be questions and uncertainty.

It was interesting to look at my entry from the day Evan was sleeping and I was trying to pick out aspects of who I am apart from the eating disorder. It’s so inextricably tied to my self hatred - it’s how I express it. I ate and drank as I liked in Amsterdam and came home with a overzealous body image issues and fears. Yes we walked a lot and I didn’t go crazy, but I had cheese and bread and wine every day. If I can do that without compulsive exercise and not gain weight, where will I find my sense of control? It’s remarkable how much comfort I take in that routine sense of control the eating disorder provides. It’s almost dyspmorphic - I can’t wrap my head around the idea of eating things I like and not gaining weight. I never ate to the point of feeling uncomfortable or sick - I stopped when I was done. Did my body change? In reality, probably not, but I can’t stop my mind from thinking about it. Then again, I’ve been so focused on my misery around the job I’ve actually been less focused on the eating disorder. Now that I’ve put in my notice and have to deal with the uncertainty as I submit application after application and hope for the best, I wonder if I will be able to go back to focusing on recovery. I feel like I’m slipping again. I’m glad I’ll be seeing Barbara weekly for the foreseeable future. 

I was all over the place in my appointment with Barbara today. When I got to the part about thinking that I should have figured out who I am and gotten through the self hatred in my twenties, Barbara reminded me of how much happened to me in my twenties. So I thought about it: I went to HUC, lost my father, didn’t go back to HUC and had to figure out a new career. I got engaged. I did AmeriCorps and got into my MSW program. Evan applied for med school 3 years in a row before being accepted. I lived with Randi while Evan started med school. I finished my MSW and got married and moved to Erie. Our marriage started to fall apart quickly. I took the first offered job and it sucked but I learned a lot. I started working at ECCM and started doing theater. I left Evan. We got divorced. I turned 30. I left Erie and moved back to Chicago. Less than two years later, out of nowhere Evan and I reconciled and I decided to move back to Erie. Now I’m 32. So much change and upheaval... of course I didn’t find out who I am. All I knew was the loss and upheaval, and I was consistently aware when something wasn’t right for me and able to change the situation. 

I got an email from Bob on my birthday and after I thanked him I got another just checking in. I was honest about the job not working out, but that things with Evan have been going well. His response was regret that the job didn’t work out, but he said that it served its purpose and it got me home. When I think about it that way, I smile and feel better. In spite of how much anxiety this job has caused me, I took comfort in coming home to Evan every night. I realized it more last night since it was his first night shift since I started. It helps so much to have someone to come home to and talk to at the end of the day. I think it would have made my time at Perspectives so much better. Evan can make pretty much anything better. It’s odd to prioritize my relationship over a job, but in this case it really does seem like the right thing to do. 

So I will throw myself into the abyss of the unknown, trying to figure out who I am and what I’m looking for and try to trust that it will all work out. I’ve been living in a state of being unsettled and not knowing since I graduated from college. At least now I’m able to piece together what I know I don’t want in my career, looking into possible avenues for the future (music therapy), and will have some time to think more about who I am and what matters most to me outside of the eating disorder. I also have one thing in my life that feels strong and I know is more important to me than the eating disorder - my relationship with Evan. I’m okay with making that my main priority. It’s why Erie is home and why I left my life in Chicago behind. It’s not all I am, but it’s something strong and good and healthy. As long as I have that foundation, I can manage the unsettling unknown.