#ttid

[bre3zycoins]

i meant to post this yesterday but i was trying to romance a boy and fumbled so hard 😭

anyways @tiredstressedemotionalmess SCENEMO KILLJOYS I LOVE YOU MARZ ! /p

[deepend-swimmer]

okay but TTID being hidden for two years is driving me fucking crazy!! this shit was written alongside you're losing me and I AM LOSING MY MIND, because it means Taylor wrote Midnights with TTID already on her sleeve and she released Midnights not as the ultimate break up album, but as the ultimate nights that will drive you crazy before you break up but in the end you win The Great War, bc at that point she thought her and Joe had prevailed, so she kept all the torturing thoughts she bared out on TTID to herself, bc she had won The Great War. AND THEN, BOOM! So she gives us You're Losing Me, that was probably written as a piece of TTID, but it wouldn't fit, it wouldn't fit on TTID, bc it kept her awake all of those nights, all of those nights she spent wondering if she was losing the great war, so it had to go with Midnights, it had to.

[spursdontplaybasketball]

No matter what I would 1009900000% rather support a “Spursy” team than an oil club. Because I have a fucking conscience.

[angu1973]

[jessiangravelblr]

Cara Delevingne - don't let me down

[blood-injections]

Rereading the amazing Tongue Tied, In Distress by the amazing @tiredstressedemotionalmess

[whitehartlane]

142 years ago a group of schoolboys stood under a streetlight where the south stand sits now and came up with a way to play sports during the winter time, and so tottenham hotspur football club was born. think they’d be amazed with where we are today. through all the highs and all the lows tottenham will always be my club, my one and only club 🤍

[del-uxie]

finished an old doodle

[bre3zycoins]

ok i know i said i fucked up my shoulder and i wouldnt draw for a bit to heal but then i realized id rather die than stop drawing for a day,,, n e ways yeayyy!!!! more scenemo killjoys!!!!! @tiredstressedemotionalmess

[sophieebridgerton]

when spurs implodes and everyone follows a different player to another team but we still see each other on the dash and nod like exes in the supermarket

[bre3zycoins]

SCENEMO GHOUL!!!!!! little thingy for @tiredstressedemotionalmess :D (also fun fact i fucked up my dominant shoulder so i wont be getting any art done soon i hate it here)

[fagdykebassboy]

ok ive gone through polyamorous horrors i better not get any more it better be polyamorous wonders and delights and good times from here on out

[whitehartlane]

i’m so nervous i’m gonna throw up

[bsideheart]

@tiredstressedemotionalmess

One of the really fun and interesting things about writing a polyamorous romance as someone who is ambiamorous/polyamorous is finding new ways to make sure the narrative hits the expected genre beats without just sort of... mushing it into a pre-existing monogamous romance mold, which is what I'm afraid happens a lot of the time.

Trust me, it was my job in the publishing house to make them fit that mold. I hated it.

Reading other poly-centric romances, I can always somewhat tell when someone is writing polyamory from a sexual fantasy aspect (zero shade; I'm here for all the group sex) without actually considering how it functions as a relationship dynamic, which can often come off as... well.

It's lacking for me as a romance.

Erotica-wise, it's fine. But it misses the romantic beats for me that I want as a polyamorous-leaning person.

There's so much emphasis on the polycule and never the individual dyads within the larger relationship.

For example, in a triad, there are actually four relationships to handle.

The dyad between A + B. The dyad between A + C. The dyad between B + C. And the overarching relationship between A + B + C.

With monogamous-leaning authors or authors that've been pressed into conforming to the pre-existing genre beats, there's a tendency to treat the relationship as a homogenous mass where everything is fair and equal, and you treat all your partners the exact same way.

And I get it. It's easier to write everything as peachy-keen and to have external conflict be resolved with either acceptance or a brave confrontation.

But it doesn't always land for me as someone who wants to see my style of love represented in the genre.

In healthy polyamory, either closed or open, each relationship is unique in its own way. Taking the example of a triad again, the way A acts with C likely differs from how A acts with B.

And that's a good thing!

Because C might not want the same things as B, so trying to treat them both the exact same is a surefire way to make sure someone isn't getting their needs met, and that will lead to conflict.

Polyamory isn't striving for equality between partners but rather equity.

What are your individual needs, and how do I meet them, as well as meet the needs of my other partner(s)? What do you want from the larger relationship as a whole? How do we accommodate everyone without making someone feel neglected or uncomfortable? How do we show this in the narrative? How do we make sure character A isn't just treating B the same as C in every interaction? Do they ever fall into that pitfall? How do they remedy it?

It seems like common sense when you write it out like that, but it's a major pitfall I see time and time again. The characters never alternate their approach between partners, if there's any focus on the individuals at all.

The other major telltale thing I've noticed is that taking time to be with one partner is seen as a step down from the "goal" of the greater polycule.

The narrative is framed in such a way that they might start out with individual dates, but the end goal of the romance is to eventually be together 100% of the time all the time, and wanting individual time alone with any one partner is somehow "lesser."

Which is the goal of romance in monogamy, but it's not the goal of romance in polyamory.

Granted, you do need to end on a Happy Ever After or Happy For Now for it to fit the genre requirement. And a nice way of tying that up is to have everyone together at the end as a happy polycule all together all at once. I'm not disputing that as a narrative tool. I'm just pointing out that there's a tendency to present those moments as the sum total of the relationship when in actuality, there are multiple relationships that need to end happily ever after.

The joy of polyamorous love is the joy of multitudes. It's the joy of experiencing new things, both as individuals and as a polycule. If you're not taking care of the individual dyads, however, your polycule is going to crash and burn. You cannot avoid that. So why, then, is there such avoidance of it in stories meant to appeal to us?

Is it simply inexperience on behalf of the author? Or is it that they're not actually being written for us? Is it continued pressure to meet certain genre beats in a largely monogamous-centric genre? All of the above?

Either way, I'm having fun playing around with it and doing all the things we were warned against in the publishing house.

I'm having fun with Nathan and Vlad enjoying their own private dynamic that is theirs and theirs alone. I'm having fun with Ursula and Nathan being so careful and vulnerable around each other. I'm absolutely 100% here for the chaos of Vlad and Ursula without a chaperone. And I'm here for the chaos of Vlad and Ursula together and Nathan's fond, loving eye roll as he trails after them, too enamored to tell either of them no because where would the fun in that be...

Anyway. Don't mind me. Just getting my thoughts out while everyone else is in bed.

[bre3zycoins]

guess what; NEW SCENEMO KILLJOYS ONESHOT THATS WHAT 💥 love how this entire "au" of @tiredstressedemotionalmess 's ttid (whixh is amazing go read RN) was a literal accident bc its description of jet reminded me of like, kandi n scene stuff

[fagdykebassboy]

cant believe im the one that the polycule broke up over💀