#tryna censor names because that might prevent this from showing up in searches

[beforethesunsetends]

dream 5 13 2024

had a weird little dream that i was in a polyam relationship with chri.stian yu and da.bin. i was actually in the process of entering their existing arrangement, because they were basically already together and somehow i inherently knew that we would all end up together; it was just a matter of me putting myself in their line of sight. or specifically christian's line of sight, lmao. (i got the sense that dabin was only into men but that christian was bisexual)

i thought it was interesting that i never saw them kiss or anything, but they were very clearly intimate with each other in how they interacted. da.bin was actually sick/injured or maybe both, and christian was doting on him constantly. i'm not sure how he got that way, but it seemed that there was some sort of crime syndicate background to all of this (like they were in the mafia or something similar) and that da.bin had been targeted by an enemy but lived.

and i was never jealous of da.bin, but more like i enjoyed seeing their interactions because i knew i'd have that too soon. i was basically staying in their house/compound with them, because i think christian had invited me or let me stay around. it was a very...impersonal place? but the whole crime syndicate lived there, so i guess it wouldn't have much personal decoration. it was just a lot of cold steel and glass and stairs.

this was all just one component of a much larger dream-series i had last night, but i found it interesting.

anyway, how can i find some tips for how i can make my real life self as confident, in control, and level-headed as my dream self, because damn bitch...lmao

and no i don't even remotely ship these two IRL, they're like childhood friends or something, but my brain does whatever it wants to do with the information it sees throughout the day, so.