#trying to use this to get more practice making finished pieces even if its mostly digital focused so far

[cozybearz]

hoping i can finish my next fat liberation month drawing this evening or tomorrow morning and then the other one im working on soon after, n then i also have that little ynez character sheet experiment i wanna finish this week too

[purpldawne]

for an akifuyu stan i sure do struggle to draw autumn and winter troupe

[monzabee]

viva las vegas - mv1 (+18)

masterlist ||

Summary: The one where you and Max celebrate his win in a way you’ve never done before.

Pairing: max verstappen x reader 

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, having sex tipsy but there is consent?, manhandling, unprotected sex (are you even surprised at this point), oral (fem receiving), sex (duh), cursing, cockwarming (oops), minors dni!!

Request: “Hey babe! I’m obsessed with your last Charles piece, I’ve been wanting to read something like that for such a long time and you did it perfectly 😍🥹 I was wondering if I could request kind of the same concept with Max Verstappen? Like he always is pictured as a tough guy and stuff, but when you see him in videos he’s kind of a goof, so I imagine the first time he’s intimate with his gf they’d both laugh and have the sweetest time together” 

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! is this my best work? no but it is something i managed to get done for the first time in like a month so here it is!! finishing this fic was a journey within itself, but i can honestly say that it was also kind fun? also, i saw a picture of max in his suit from vegas and that just inspired this whole thing, so i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

Max is buzzing with life, quite literally, you can feel him practically buzzing the whole time he’s trying to take you back to your hotel room as fast as possible. It’s most likely due to the amount of alcohol the two of you have consumed after the race. Honestly it is pure luck that you found your way back to your room, given your current state, but instead of joining you when you jump on the bed, revelling in its comfort, he chooses to stand at the end of the bed as he watches you with an entertained smile on his face.  

“What?” you ask, a laugh washing through you as you raise yourself on your elbows, “Why are you looking at me like that?”  

He lets his eyes wander over your figure, his smile becoming more boyish as he lets it widen on his face, “You look pretty,” he murmurs, bending down so he can lower himself over your body better, “have I told you how beautiful you looked tonight?” 

“Um, yeah, Maxie,” you giggle as you point out, “you’ve been telling me that the entire night.” Using your hands as support while raising yourself more so that you could be face to face with him, “I think you look pretty too, you know?” 

“Yeah?” Max murmurs, cradling your jaw in one of his hands, his thumb quick to caress the apple of your cheek, which causes you to lean into his touch. “What if I wanted to kiss you, would that be okay?” 

The smile you offer him in return is sweet, the way your eyes seem to shine at the offer of feeling his lips against yours makes his heart beat faster in his chest. “Yes, please.” Your voice is softer, almost comes out as a whisper due to you suddenly feeling out of breath.  

And who is he to deprive his girl? 

He doesn’t waste any time pressing his lips against your awaiting ones, in fact, the movement of his lips are rushed, if not almost desperate. It's as if he can't get enough, as if he's afraid this moment might slip away like sand through his fingers. The taste of alcohol lingers on both your lips, and normally you would be weirded out about it, but you realise it only adds to the intensity of the kiss you’re sharing with Max. His fingers gently tangle in your hair as he deepens the kiss, and you find yourself responding eagerly. You let him take control, mostly because it’s so easy for you to lose yourself in his kiss. He’s lost in it too, if you had to guess, because the way his tongue is fighting over yours for dominance is so different compared to the way Max usually kisses you. You whine at the loss of his lips when he reluctantly pulls away, and if he wasn’t already hard, the sound makes Max’s cock instantly harder. His head is thrown back, eyes closed as he lets out a groan, and he has to stop himself from pulling you in for another kiss. But you clearly have other plans as you drag your lips down towards his jawline, leaving kisses in a random pattern until you reach that one specific point on his neck that absolutely drives him crazy.  

And you know it’s only a matter of time until he stops you, again, as he has done for the past whatever months of your relationship. It’s not that you are not attracted to each other, because the attraction is as clear as day, and you have done stuff – not sex, but stuff. You’re not sure Max does that, but you also don’t want to be the one who pressures him into having sex with you if he doesn’t want to. Unbeknownst to you, the same goes for Max, who thinks you’re not ready to have sex with him and wants your first time together to be as special as possible.  

So no, you’re not surprised as he gently peals himself from you, causing you to whine again at the loss of him, but instead he gives you a small kiss on the forehead as he mumbles, “Why don’t you take a shower? We’ll go to bed after that.”  

“Is that your way of telling me I smell?” You ask in a playful tone, and he responds to you with a roll of his eyes. “What if I don’t want to go to sleep?”  

“No?” He asks, actively searching your expression for any sign of discomfort or reluctance. “We’ve had a long day, are you sure you don’t want to get some sleep?” The look you give him in return for his question is enough, and he knows this, but he also wants to actually hear the words, so he points, “Use your words, liefje.” 

A puff of breath leaves your lips in annoyance, but, nonetheless, you give him the best puppy dog eyes you can muster as you whine, “Please Maxie, you know what I want.”  

“Do I?” He muses, pulling you onto his lap as he ghosts his lips across your jaw. “I don’t know what you mean.”  

“Maxie,” you drag out his name, whining as your attempt at rolling your hips against his thighs don’t work. “You are being mean.”  

“Oh, baby,” he mockingly copies your pout, “I’m sorry. Can I apologise with a kiss?” To make his point, he presses a couple of soft kisses along your jawline.  

“Will you kiss me the way I like?” You ask, slightly out of breath, but his agreement that comes in the form of a hum makes you smile mischievously. His lips trail more kisses towards the neckline of your dress, and eventually through the valley between your breasts that is exposed by the lack of fabric. And you have every intention to let him have his way with you, you really do – after all, he won another great race. But a part of you also knows that making him suffer, even if just a little bit, in the process is so much more fun. So, just as he’s about to free of your breasts from the bustier of your dress, you quickly move away, slipping from his hands, trying your hardest not to laugh at the bewildered expression on his face. “On second thought, I think I’m going to take that shower after all.”  

“I—what?” Max mumbles, his slightly swollen lips pulled in a pout, and you can’t help but give him a small kiss.  

“I’ll see you after my shower, Max Emilian.” Sauntering over to the bathroom, you make sure to add an extra sway to your hips – and the sigh that Max leaves cause the smirk on your face to grow. 

It’s pure torture for Max to wait until you come out of the shower. Not that he doesn’t think about just joining you, especially after the show you just put on, but that would be giving into what you want – and though Max is a generous lover, he is also stubborn. He is more than happy to give you what you want, as long as it is on his terms. And so, he waits patiently, until you come out of the bathroom, a robe draped over your body, and he can’t help himself but let his eyes roam over your body.  

“How was your shower?” Max asks, trying to keep his voice as nonchalant as possible, a wolfish grin curving up on his lips. He rests his hands behind his head, relaxing onto the pillows behind him. He watches you give him a shrug, the soft-looking material sliding of your shoulder slightly as you collect your hair onto your shoulder. “Are you giving me the silent treatment, pretty girl?” 

There’s a coy smile on your face as you shake your head, once, twice, as your teeth press down on your bottom lip. Max wants nothing more than to release your lip, pull you into his lap and have his way with you, but no. No, because Max is nothing if not disciplined. “Come here,” he asks, straightening up in his place. You, being the ever-loving girlfriend you are, oblige his request. “That is a nice robe,” he murmurs, tilting his head as he grabs the towelette belt with the tips of his finger, “is it as soft as it looks?” 

“Mhm-hm,” you nod, “do you want to feel it?” 

“Do I want to feel it?” Max muses, “Sure.” His arms wrap around your middle so quickly that you don’t realise he’s pulling you into his lap at first. But he positions you with your legs on the either side of his. “You’re right, liefje, it is very soft.” His hands roam on your body over the soft material, but soon enough, his hands dipping underneath it to feel your skin. His eyebrows shoot upwards, a mischievous grin spreading on his lips, “No underwear?” 

“Well, I just came out of the shower, Maxie.” You give him an innocent look, shrugging once against as you rest your hands against his shirt-clad chest. “The shower pressure was great, you should’ve joined me.”  

He lets out a noncommittal hum, his hands roaming on your bare skin, revelling in the softness. “I’ll have to take your word for it.” He’s methodical as he slightly shifts you in his lap, tearing a gasp from the back of your throat. That gets a satisfied smile from him, “Something wrong?” 

“N-no,” you mumble, shifting again to get the same feeling, but his hands still you in your place. “Maxie,” you whine, silently pleading with your eyes.  

“Am I being mean again?” He asks, attentive eyes fixed on you, “I would offer to make it up to you with a kiss, but you seem to find ways to evade me when I do.”  

“No,” you whine again, lips pouted in disagreement. “I promise I won’t this time.”  

His eyebrows shoot up again with amusement, “Oh, yeah? Shall we test that theory, pretty girl?” The smile you give him is shy, but the way you nod is nothing short of coy. With a satisfied sound leaving his lips, he quickly presses his lips against yours. You sigh into the kiss, immediately, when you feel him deepening the kiss, more than happy to surrender yourself to him and let Max take the lead. Though, that doesn’t necessarily stop you from attempting to relieve the pressure between your legs by rolling your hips against his thighs. Your efforts, however, prove to be useless as he stops the movement before you can actually relieve any of it. He slowly pulls away, pushes a stray piece of wet hair behind your ear and tuts – condescendingly, you might add – “Slow down, liefje, I think I’ve had enough speed for one day.”  

Groaning at his words, “But Maxie,” you whine, dragging out his name as you let your hands wander on his chest over his shirt and receive a warning look from him in return, “I promise I’ll be good, please just fuck me.”  

“Baby,” he coos, his fingers working quickly to unfasten the belt of your robe and push the offending clothing off your shoulders, “I literally just told you to be patient, no?” 

You ignore the raised eyebrow, the look of faux-disappointment, and even the way his fingers grab your waist because you’re too busy trying to get him out of his shirt, suddenly feeling too exposed as you sit on his lap naked. “Please,” you whisper against his skin, peppering kisses across the column of his throat as your hands make their way inside his shirt, “I’ll be patient next time.”  

“I’m suddenly realising that I spoil you very much,” Max mumbles, pulling his head back to get a look at you.  

Pulling back as well you give him a mischievous grin, “Maybe, but you’ll give me what I want this time as well.”  

“Yeah?” He asks, “Why?” 

“Because I think I’m getting your pants very messy right now.”  

Max can’t help the groan that escapes past his lips, his eyes quickly following yours as he takes in the ‘damage’ your wetness has caused on his jeans. He takes a moment to assess the damage, drags his eyes up to look at you when he notices the way your eyes stay fixed down, as your nervously bite down on your lower lip. He loses all the composure he managed to muster up, and he finally gives in, quickly pushing you off him onto the pillows on the bed. The squeal that leaves you is followed by a string of giggles that leave your lips, and when Max looks at you, he takes in the darker look in your widened eyes.  

“I was going to be patient; I can’t believe you’re making me not be patient.” He mumbles, taking off his shirt and the rest of his clothes before starting to leave kisses on your feverish skin as he slides down your body and places himself between your thighs.  

You open your legs wider to accommodate his body, a breathy laugh escaping past your lips. “You mean, impatient?” 

That earns you a nip on your upper thigh and a warning look, but instead of commenting on your quip, he lowers his face, keeps his eyes locked to yours and gets to work. And it’s not that you and Max haven’t done stuff – because it’s the opposite; although you haven’t had sex, it’s safe to say that the two you have explored every option bordering on sex. But how he’s acting right now is much different than the way how he is usually with you. His movements are almost rushed, and the way he drags his tongue through your folds is just enough for your eyes to roll back as your moans fill the room.  

Normally, he would be extra careful and make sure he is being gentle with you; but right now, he’s just trying to savour you before he loses all his composure. A choppy gasp leaves you as you feel his fingers enter you – two at first, and the way he pumps them in and out of you makes breathing harder. The speed of his fingers matches his tongue, and for a moment, you think you’re going to pass out. With his free hand, he blocks any type of movement you try with your hips; his palm sneakily presses down on your lower stomach to keep you in your place, but it’s jokes on him because if anything, it just makes you feel even better, and you’re not shy to let him know just how much he’s making you feel good with your moans.  

“Max,” you say his name in a breathy whimper, fingers threading through his hair to guide him, “fuck, I’m so close.” You can practically feel the way his lips curl up, and suddenly, everything about his actions gets faster. His fingers are pistoning in and out of you in an unforgiving pace, in sync with his tongue that works your clit just the same. So, it’s no surprise when you find yourself coming on his tongue as his name leaves your lips for the umpteenth time like a prayer.

The smirk he gives you when he pulls himself from between your legs is sinful – he looks absolutely debauched with the way his lips glisten with your release, and he wastes no time before coming up, and capturing your lips in yet another bruising kiss. But this time, you taste yourself on his tongue and this time it makes you lose the whatever little resolve you’ve had left. So, you hook your leg around his thigh to push him next to you on the bed as you practically throw him next to you on the bed.  

Though he has other plans.   Of course.  

So, as you’re trying to fight the seventy-kilogram-something driver into staying under you on the bed, he has no problem manhandling you into rolling on your side. And as you’re pressed flush against his chest, you turn your head backwards to breathlessly whisper, “You promised, Max.”  

“And I am a man of my word, aren’t I?” He retorts, his hand that is splayed on your thigh positions it so that it’s bent towards your stomach, “Just needed to get you ready.” You can’t help the guttural moan that escapes you when you feel him pressing the tip of his cock into your entrance. The pleading look you give him must’ve worked, because this time it’s his turn to let out a guttural moan as he pushes himself into you. There is no sign of his mood from mere moments ago as you feel his hands caress your bare hip, an entitled smirk on his lips as he asks, “Out of breath?” 

“Fuck you,” your response comes out as a breathy laugh as you’re pushing your hips closer to his to take him deeper.  

“Lifje, you are fucking me.” Max giggles into the crook of your neck as he pushes himself in fully. You would be furious with him if it didn’t make you laugh also, and although the laughing decrease, the smiles remain on both your faces as he starts slowly moving his hips. 

It’s sweet, unbelievably sweet, considering the sexual tension that was in the room an hour ago, but the way Max is fucking you can only be described as sweet. His hands caress every part of your body that he can reach – your thighs, to your hips, to your stomach, to your chest and then wraps one of his hands around your throat; not in a way that is rough, but in a way that he can still keep you still as he captures your lips for another kiss. The movement of his hips is languid, almost lazy as drive into you, but he still manages to hit all the spots along the way. Breathy chuckles are exchanged when he pulls away for you to organise your breathing, but your smiles still stay on, even when he raises your bent leg and rests his on his own leg. The new angle makes your moans get louder, your hips to move against his faster, and you can feel your orgasm approach speedily.  

But Max is so in tune with your body that he knows what’s coming (or rather who) before you get a chance to actually have to say anything. His hand slides down your body so that he can press his fingers to your clit and move them in tight circles, and as if it was possible, his you can suddenly feel him fucking you even deeper. “You are going to come for me pretty girl, I can feel it.” He murmurs into your skin, and all you can offer as an answer is a nod and an affirmative whimper as you squeeze your eyes shut. “Come on, give it to me, come on my cock.” And though he is not the most verbal person to ever exist, except for when he’s in the mood to be an absolute yapper, his words urge you to let go of the feeling that has been starting to brew in your stomach.  

Your hips start moving to meet his in choppy movements as you seek any and all kinds of pleasure to reach your high, and he meets your every move with increasing intensity of his own. “Max, yes!” Your exclamation hits his ears as he hits that one particular spot, making you instantly become lax in his arms as he guides you through your orgasm. His name spills out from your lips in constant repetition, “So good, so good,” you keep mumbling in breathless whimpers, trying to press yourself further into his body.  

With all things considered, it doesn’t take Max long to reach his own high following your own, since you insistently move your hips in a way that makes you take his cock even deeper when he’s helping you ride your orgasm. So, when you hear him groaning your name in the crook of your neck and feel him spilling himself into you. “Fuck, you feel so good,” he croaks out, holding your hips in place with his hands splayed on your feverish skin. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?” 

“How am I supposed to know, dummy?” You ask, throwing your head back to get a good look of his dishevelled state, “Why do you look so good after mind blowing sex?” 

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, pulling you with him as he lets himself fall back on the bed, “genetics?” 

“Mhm,” you murmur, trying to find a comfortable position on his chest as he is still inside you, “remind me to send your mother a flower arrangement when we get back, or something.” 

A deep blush covers his cheeks, as if he hasn’t been fucking you for the past hour or so, as he stammers, “I– I mean, yeah.” This time, it’s your turn to give a non-committal hum, followed by a satisfied sigh as you snuggle him closer and close your eyes. “Just go to sleep, baby, we can deal with it in the morning.” 

“’Mkay,” you mumble, feeling his hand draw soothing circles on your back. “But you’re still gonna fuck me tomorrow, right?” 

This gets another loud laugh from the driver laying down under you, and both of you know that he’s going to do just that when you wake up in the morning. 

[pigeonpeach]

Genshin men as cats!

Prompt: the genshin men are temporarily turned into cats for one day and you as their lover must take care of them and make sure they stay safe

A/n: idk what happened but apparently half of the post got deleted? I’ll have to rewrite it later ;(

Ayato

Oh he’s not happy. He’s probably a shorthaired white cat in terms of appearance. But he is quite annoyed with this predicament. No one is allowed to tell anyone that the Yashiro Commissioner is suddenly a cat. But being a cat is nice. He can lounge and nap all day. He’s probably demanding of attention though. He simply must have your eyes on him. He adores being brushes so lovingly too. Maybe he should have you brush his hair when he’s back to normal.

Al Haitham

Virtually no change. He may still try to read though he won’t be able to turn the pages as easily. He doesn’t mind a few pats but he mostly prefers to be left alone in the nice warm sun to nap the day away. He’s definitely a grey tabby.

Kaveh

He is so distraught! He meows a storm in fustration as he finds he is completely incapable of finishing his projects! You simply must take care of him! You need to have him strapped in like a baby carrier on your chest because he’s just so clingy. He needs constant reassurance and attention. He’s so needy but so cute. Probably a cute little cream colored kitty.

Kaeya

He is also probably a bit annoyed. While yes he gets a complete day off, he can’t do much as a cat. So he’ll probably try to find some entertainment if you don’t keep him thoroughly entertained. He will find a way to sneak out and go play with Klee or annoy Diluc if you don’t keep him in your grasp at all times.

Neuvillette

He is very confused but also curious. On one hand this form is verrrry different than he’s ever had before but its also very beneficial to him. People are far less intimidated and strangely he enjoys being coddled and pet more than he would. Of course miss Furina is teasing the crap out of him but he doesn’t really care. Sitting on your lap, small and warm. Its such a unique experience he will probably never have again.

Wriothesley

Once the dust settles he’s quite relaxed. This is temporary so might as well enjoy it. Sigewinnie has become very attached to him as she constantly makes sure he’s okay. But in particular he loves being held by you. He’s used to being the big strong man who lifts you all the time etc etc. its nice actually being the reverse here. He gets fed special fish from the cafeteria and gets to spend his day in your arms! The perfect break for him! He’s almost sad it’s temporary but he knows he can’t stay like this forever.

Childe

Oh he’s mad! Even when it’s confirmed to be temporary, he is annoyed! How can he improve his fighting skills if he’s a kitty! Sure he’s a adorable little kitty of course but he looks like a baby! Oh his ego is in shatters. It’s unfortunate too because it wasn’t even around his family so he could play with his little brother at least. He’s practically quarantined to keep him safe. He can’t go on kitty adventures. Therefore YOU must make it up to him. He spends his time sulking and trying to play with anything he can. Dangling uniform piece? New toy! Someone’s foot? New toy! He bites! He meows! He hardly naps. He does love cuddling with you though. Still he’s a ball of energy and he cannot simply sit still for long! No doubt will his office be trashed. You’re making him clean it up once he’s back.

Thoma

Stressed! So stressed! He has so many chores! He cannot hold a broom with two paws! You have to make arrangements for him to have the day off which was hard because everyone was upset by his sudden cancellation. Even so he tries to help. He tries to drag the broom but it doesn’t do anything unfortunately. Oh he feels so useless. You must pamper him. Lavish him with kisses and gentle praise. Call him the cutest little kitty in the world! Oh he’s such a affectionate boy too. He acts like a cat with separation anxiety almost. He cannot sleep if you’re not there with him. Therefore you end up spending the day with him, trying to dissuade him from trying to clean a mess and just making it worse, distracting him with a warm blanket and pets.

Zhongli

He probably did so on purpose actually. Perhaps he was a bit bored and decided to spend the day exploring Liyue from a different perspective. It was quite fun for him actually. He watched as people came over to pet him. Unfortunately they also tried to feed him seafood which wasn’t too good. But after the long day he returned home to see you panicked as to where he could be. He decided to come on over to you, still in his cat form, and distract you. It worked as he helped you relax.

You werent too amused when you found out that cat that broke in was him.

Pantalone

He is quite annoyed. Angry in a more agitated way. Don’t mess up his fur! Pet him properly! Don’t ignore him now! He is a demanding little feline. He is not content unless you are entirely focused on him. He even wants you to break up the fish ro serve to him. He isn’t going to eat like a animal! Oh but he is such s cute kitty. Entirely black with big expressive yellow eyes. Oh you can’t help but comply and spoil him a little more! And he has such lovely fur! He does like hearing your gentle praises as you pet him. He never knew how lovely it felt to be small, sleeping on a nice warm lap, being gently brushed, and told sweet little compliments. He may actually want to do this again sometime.

Diluc

Biggest drama king! How can he protect you or Mondstadt like this! Therefore you cannot leave his sight or he’s convinced you will immediately die. You must stay with him so he can protect you? He is a very warm kitty though so it feels nice to snuggle with him. His fur is a bit messy so you’ll have to brush it. Despite him trying to stay vigilant he ends up falling asleep quickly.

[anonymouslosersworld]

♡ Succubus♡

Prompt; Mc/reader armed with the teaching Solomon decided to mess around with magical creations and like Icarus flew too close to the sun before falling... in their case fell victim to horniness.

Fandom: Obey me shall me date

Characters: Beel, Belphie, and Asmodeus.

Genre: Smut (M)

Contains: dubcon, unprotected sex, dom reader, sex toys, voyeurism??, and corruption kink.

Credit goes to @asmology. They have wonderful blog and written pieces. I was so in love with their charmed series and just wanted to try my hand at writing it myself. Please don't hesitate and check out their blogs.

[Obey me masterlist]

Prologue; After you had successfully enrolled in the sorcerers' academy and become Solomon's one and only apprentice after a couple of months. He had encouraged you to explore magical items and such. Due to many lonely and hot nights, you settled on magical items. Using your knowledge you created a life-like magical dildo/vibrator of your love interest. Unknowingly to you {or maybe knowingly you did but wouldn't admit it}it was also charmed with your love interest feeling whatever you did to it.

Beelzebub

The water trickled down Beelzebub's achy body. He had just finished a late training session for Fangol. He had been feeling this empty pit in his chest since you had gone to the human world, and nothing seemed to fill it. It practically hurt him to be so far from you, even though he knew you would be back eventually. It didn't stop him from missing you.

The lathered loofa that he was using reminded him of you since you bought it on one of his many shopping trips with you in devildom. Just the thought of you brought some warmth to his chest.

Beel groaned as he felt the telltale sign of your touch on his body. Beel muttered your name as your hands roamed around his body. He found it comforting. He felt the warmth of your hands all over his body, stopping for a short while at his tits. Your hands moved to pat his stomach; he was sure you could tell that he lost a little weight while you were gone. He felt the wet kisses you seemed to leave around his body,mostly his face.

"M-mc?" he whines as he closes his eyes. If he really concentrated, he could pretend you were here. Your hands were so small compared to his. You could barely cup his tit or even fit it into your mouth. He can feel when you move to his cock, where you struggle to take him into your mouth. He smiles as you give him kitten licks all over his cock.

"Please more.'' he softly begged you as the water kept running down his body. it was almost like you heard him, and you finally took him into your mouth. His breath hitched as he felt your warm and wet saliva hit his cock. His cheeks go red as he realized you just spat on his cock. No matter how many times you took him, you struggled to take him. Your tongue danced around his tip and played with veins that ran across his cock.

"I'm cumming!~" Beel groaned as he felt his balls being handled with care. Beel panted, finally managing to catch his breath. His body felt relaxed, sore, and tired, but he finally felt at ease.

" I miss you, come home soon" he whispered into the wind, hoping you would hear him.

Belphie

Belphie's face was hot and flushed. If anyone had paid attention to the 7th born, they would have noticed he was awake and trying to keep from making any sounds. The pleasure finally was getting to him. His mind was in a daze, he felt dizzy and he could barely hold a thought in.

"N-no, please w-aah~" Belphie whimpered quietly as another orgasm was taken from him. His ass felt hot with all the cum; he was surprised he hadn't leaked all over his chair.

Belphie panted heavily as the thing wrapped around him finally stopped for a bit. He was growing weary, and he was tired. He just wanted to go to bed, but he couldn't ignore it anymore.

"Sss-sshiiit~'' he whined as he felt its walls contract around his cock. His cock twitched as you began to move again. He was so sensitive already; he didn't know how much more he could take.

"f-fuck!!" Belphie moaned as you moved. Getting fucked in class was one thing, but being fucked by nothing in class was another.

"Let me sleep," Belphie begged mentally, "it's too much now."

Belphie's balls emptied out whatever last cum it had into whatever little trap you made.

Asmodeus

"a-aah~" Asmodeus relished the feeling of his cock in something. He knew only two people were capable of doing this, and he was perfectly happy to let them use him as much as they wanted.

He could recognize that warm and sloppy wet hole-blowing technique anywhere, and it turned him on more than anything. You missed him so much. Your tongue swirled around his tip.

"Yes!!~ deeper please." He moaned with no shame in his dressing room. He had unbuttoned his shirt and peeled it off to play with his chest. The clothes he was trying on were long forgotten.

"s-so dirty,~" Asmodeus whimpered as he felt something at his entrance. He bites into his hand as he feels your fingers inside him, warming him up to fuck his ass. "You must really miss me."

"w-wait! too soon!" Asmodeus whined as you worked his ass and sloppily sucked his cock. it was too soon for him to cum.

"p-please w-ahh~!" Asmodeus's back arched as you finally hit his favorite spot. You didn't waiver as you fucked your way into Asmodeus's hole. Asmodeus tried to withhold his orgasm but you kept screwing him like he was really there with you. You fucked him like -

"n-no faiir~" he exclaimed as he came.

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[roseltheteacup]

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk: Headcanons, Red

Inspired by a couple other users! @mechanical-magician @dragonmarquise @robotredhead @hccupit

Major story spoilers under the cut.

The TDLR being: taking the postgame character select at face value; Red is reborn as a true cyberhead with Faux’s body. He still retains the memories of his journey due to his memory chip being present in the cyberhead that held Felix. In fact, quite a few of his systems were present in that cyberhead during the journey, minus an actual AI component. It was simply a matter of finding all the pieces of him and putting him back together.

His memories of the final confrontation are a little fuzzy, mostly because he willingly passed the reins to Felix during his last sit in DJ Cyber’s chair. It was then that he realised only Felix could finish things with Faux. Red was quite literally just along for the ride at that point, unable to influence or understand much of what Felix was saying and doing. Everything ended for him once the cyberhead was shattered. He still wishes he could've spoken with Faux.

He and Felix have agreed that the best way to describe their situation is: “He's me, but not really.”

He's maybe like Felix’s younger sibling? Maybe?? Red hasn't asked.

Technically, he's died about three times (four if you count as Faux.) Always being rebuilt, always coming back. It confuses him as much as it disturbs him.

He died two times in Mataan. He swears he felt what it was like for each piece of him to be scattered while retaining something akin to a consciousness.

Because of his lack of a human consciousness uploaded to his cyberhead system, he's basically a robot. All AI. And yet, he's still surprisingly human. DJ Cyber surmises that it's because he's based on Felix. That being said, Red has been having fun figuring out things he can do as a full cyberhead.

His eyes glow in the dark and turn off when he's asleep. He's scared the hell out of Tryce at 2am multiple times.

He has a habit of getting straight to the point when speaking. Not out of frustration, he just doesn't quite understand how to turn conversations naturally in a direction. He also tends to be a little slow to process things. Please be patient with him.

Red’s lack of a human consciousness also leads him to be fairly oblivious when it comes to understanding the rules of human society. It's one of the things Tryce and Bel noticed about him once he was recreated, but they're more than willing to help him understand things. A lot of the crew find it endearing.

The dreams he has are as vivid as he remembers, but a little different. He now has a full machine mind, so it's taken a while to get used to.

He finds it a lot easier to learn by doing. It's even better if it's a practical skill and he has something to touch and fiddle with and figure out the intricacies of.

Despite temporarily sharing a mind with Felix, a man in his late 20s, Red seems to be more naïve and youthful. He's also noticeably more enthusiastic and impulsive than Felix. This, combined with him using Faux’s body (being in its early 20s,) results in Red coming across as someone aged 18-22.

For someone so young to have experienced death multiple times, it does tend to bother him. He worries about wiping out or sleeping for too long and having to be stuck back together again.

Bel has been teaching him how to make beaded bracelets. He hasn't quite gotten it yet, but constantly wears the one Bel made for him.

Back when they were still searching for Faux’s head, Red would try to be as careful as he could with his body (though he wasn't always successful) and wouldn't allow any changes to it without Faux’s permission. Today, Red feels comfortable enough in his own skin and even likes to paint his nails with Bel.

He has a 3DS! His favourite games are Miitopia and Pokémon Mystery Dungeon.

Whenever he gets flustered or stressed, the fans in the back of his head whirr quickly. Once you figure out when he's actually flustered instead of stressed out, it's really cute. His face also tends to be warm to the touch when this happens.

He was required to think of a legal name for himself for the books, and decided on Redmond. He knows it's not very creative but doesn't really care.

Back when he was first named, he took to ‘Red’ immediately and quickly designed a tag for himself, too. It always felt like him. Simple and to the point.

Faux’s body is scarred up because of the confrontation in Mataan. Red has been used to this body ever since he was created, but has to be reminded that it's perhaps a little more fragile than he remembers, at least until he's all healed up. He's also always had a neck scar, but finds it a bit more itchy now that he's been re-attached to a body two extra times.

His cyberhead is painted. By default, his model is white (like Escher.) Because of this, whenever he wipes out and gets scraped up Tryce and Bel are always offering to repaint his scratches.

Red has been getting into more installation-based artwork. He likes finding small trinkets and mechanical parts and sticking them together. He says it speaks to him somehow.

He sleeps like a rock. (It's not a cyberhead thing, it's just him.)

[nahisummerhold]

Not All Losses Are The Same

Wiping sweat from her face, Nahi made her way back to the camp. It was no wonder she got odd reactions from the people of Dornogal, she was the crazy woman running up and down stairs late at night. Sleeping was a luxury that had yet to grace the performer, so exhaustion was the next best thing, at least exhausted she could relax, trying to make herself sleep was an impossibility. Not only was she used to keeping bar hours but her life was turned on its head, and only bats could sleep upside down.

The evening had offered her a chance to connect finally with Fio, Dice and Kai, it made her feel a little less alone. It was odd, feeling alone, she spent years cultivating a lifestyle that had her excluding most people, and yet it was now that she was in a group of mostly strangers that she was experiencing the sensation of isolation. Meeting Stellan had been interesting, there was an edge of dark humor to him that made her a little uncomfortable considering the subject, yet she didn’t really mind it. Life around her wasn’t exactly comfortable in any way so it fit right in with all she was feeling. 

Dalaran had been discussed, but she wasn’t really sure how to work through all the losses in her life, so the topic was like a bee circling around her and she was standing perfectly still hoping it would just go away and spare her the sting. She was glad that at least some people she knew, like this group, were alive, the thought of all those she would never see again, or the things she would never see again, made a knot form in her throat that felt like she couldn’t swallow past iit. This had been a constant companion since Dalaran was lost. If she was honest with herself, she wasn’t sure she would feel comfortable for a very long time. The decision to join the mercenaries was probably good for her, when the ground shifts under your feet sometimes it was best to just dance along with it. Everything was moving in her life and this was just another shift in trying to find the tempo of this new chaos. Maybe that was why she had latched onto those text exchanges with Pathyn, it was a bit of comfort, he had been a constant in her life for a couple of years, even if the relationship had shifted so very recently.

When she talked about settling the score in her mind and Fio had questioned it Nahi had stumbled in her thoughts. How do you explain that music was so much of your life that you thought in it? The score was the flow of it in her thoughts, right now it sounded like an orchestra of children on their first week of practice, and Nahi needed to begin to mold that into a piece that might not be beautiful, but it would be ordered at least. 

Once she was settled in and finished stretching she picked up her comm and made a nightly check in. Nahi to Iren: How is my favorite step-father?

Iren: Missing his favorite daughter. Nahi: When mother is more settled. Is that going any better? Iren: Losing home has made her swings more drastic. I don’t know how she sensed the fall but… Everything is safe, right? Nahi: Yes, I got everything out that I could. Wish I could have taken the house itself for you.

Iren: You did what you could Nahi. Stop feeling guilty about this, you didn’t cause the fall.You got us into a new home and have taken care of all you could prepare for, except the fall itself. Have you found some new places to work? How is the apartment?

There, there was separation she was trying to avoid in her life, except this time she was hiding her family from what she was doing. Maybe she would never be able to really reconcile who she was. 

Nahi: The apartment is great, I got everything tucked in that I could. Little pieces of home, you know? Found some work, but not much for me to do yet. It is hard, war and all but I am sure everything will settle into a new pattern. You should get some sleep.

It was so much easier to obfuscate through text.

Iren: Your mother is struggling with a day to night schedule, so I am up with her as it is Ysoli’s night off. 

Nahi: I am sorry Iren. I would be there if I could.

Iren: Stop it. You can’t fix this and we all agreed this was the best for her. Once you reconcile that in your heart you will probably admit this will be good for you too.  Nahi: I should get some sleep, I want to work on some dance practice in the morning. Iren: Go daughter, I love you. I miss you, make us proud. Nahi: I love you too. Give mom a kiss from me, just don’t tell her it was.

Some losses were not from the fall.

( @fio-renze @dicenne @kaisinasunblade @inistellan for mentions @themercenaries )

[vestigialpersonality]

100-Question Durge Ask Game: Answered

The words weren't flowing today and my focus was too jittery to read, so I filled out Durge Ask Game 10th Edition instead. I know it's not the proper way to do things, but it was this or watching my in-laws play sportsball videogames and this was significantly more entertaining.

@daemon-in-my-head I had already finished when I sent that ask...but I was fucking mortified by what I had done and saved it in my drafts instead of posting. It took about two hours including intermittent breaks for doom scrolling. 😅

For clarity I'm referring to pre-tadpole as just Durge because he had five different names for every day of the week, whereas post-tadpole is Rune.

1) Any major physical changes? Any impairments? What are they and when did it happen?

As a whole Durge is basically a fancy flesh golem. He's not a shapeshifter like Orin, but pre-tadpole he practically lived behind the disguise-self spell. For the few people who got to see his actual face, he looks like an elf, or at least a half-elf, provided they don't too hard. Skin the color of a decaying corpse, black eyes, teeth that came from at least four different creatures. He's covered in scars in all shapes and sizes and kind of looks like he was pieced together like a cheap leather coat. Much like a tiefling, he's an obligate carnivore.

2) Post-Tadpole Durge is pretty messed up, what does past Durge think of these changes? Do they think it won't matter as they'll still be daddy's favourite assassin even with a head injury?

Pre-tadpole Durge would probably kill Rune out of ableist pity. Rune is suffering from speech aphasia, migraines, chronic pain, dissociative episodes, and damaged bones/musculature in his hands. The memory loss has also exacerbated some pre-existing conditions, like dietary restrictions not being met. Anxiety and depression have been cranked to eleven, self-worth is at rock bottom, self-control is all but gone.

3) Out of all the companions, which one would've been an easy victim for past Durge and why?

Gale, probably. Soft, friendly, easy to get in his good graces, but powerful enough that Durge wouldn't want to try to take him in an even fight. And Gale is probably the least inclined of the party to just straight up kill someone.

4) Would any companions have had any chances with past Durge? Who and why?

Astarion, full stop. They knew each other and Durge felt like Astarion would be a welcome addition to his stabby family.

5) What sort of 'real world' clothingstyle would past durge have loved? Are they the type to join a subculture like punk, goth, etc. (Aesthetically at least)?

Durge is a social chameleon, so really all of them. But given the choice he'd be wearing a three-piece suit. Rune is less picky and would probably wear whatever he could find in dark colors at goodwill. Jeans that mostly fit and a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off.

6) Speaking of clothes, streetwear or formal clothes?

Durge prefers formal all the way. He wants to make an impression. Rune doesn't care as long as it is comfortable.

7) Durge is old money incarnate, but what do they think of new money? Did their view change after their homemade lobotomy or meeting a young man with a quick and easy smile?

Durge thought the concept of social climbing was fascinating and watched Gortash's evolution like an experiment. Rune has little concept of money or wealth.

8) What's their aesthetic like? Describe it to me. Or better yet, hand over the link to that Pinterest mood board we all know exists (at least in theory, go do it).

Vulture culture at its finest. Bones and shiny things.

9) Any favourite flower? Did they actually decorate things with it or was it a secret hidden pleasure? Do they maybe just like the symbolism, smell, what have you?

Durge had a garden where he grew useful flowers and plants. He liked foxgloves in particular, though there was no special reasoning behind it. Rune has no feelings one way or the other.

10) Did they ever get to enjoy receiving gifts? From whom and which one was their favourite?

Not really. Gifts always come with strings attached and those that don't aren't actually meant for him, they're meant for someone's fictionalized view of him. Even Stillmaker was mostly unwanted and only accepted, strings and all, because it was useful. He did, however, collect trinkets brought to him by crows.

11) Hot or cold foods?

Hot.

12) Do they drink? Which is their favourite liquor? In what situation would they prefer a nice glass of a little something?

They drink, but don't feel any particular way about it. Alcohol is useful for social posturing.

13) How entitled is Durge on a scale of 1 to 'gods favourite little gorebaby deserves the world (or its end)'?

Probably at the lower end of the scale. Too much internalized guilt.

14) Favourite body part? And of whom?

He likes teeth in all shapes and sizes. Hyoid bones. 

15) Can durge ride a horse? Did they sneak around the cities rules pertaining the ownership of horses?

Yes. He grew up on a farm, but he doesn't own a horse of his own. He rode on most occasions when he had to leave Baldur's Gate. Rune may or may not remember.

16) Bribing or threats, which is their preferred method? (Murder excluded)

Depends on the day, though he leans more towards bribery. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

17) Bhaal, of course, has his favourite colours, but which colour is your Durges absolute favourite? Did it change after their brain was messed with? Can they even see colours?

He prefers a relatively monochromatic colors. Grays, dark reds, midnight blues, deep plums. His favorite color is similar to hex code #2a4d6b (dark steel-blue)

18) Their love language? Did anyone ever experience it in the past? Did they survive it?

Murder. Acts of service. Gortash and Astarion are both still alive-ish at the start of the game, so it wasn't always deadly.

19) Did they ever consider leaving the gate? What for and where would they go?

He has no particular desire to leave until his work is done. It's not home, exactly, but it's easier form a stronghold when not roving the countryside like a bandit.

20) Did they maybe even leave the Gate in the past? Why or why not? What kept them there or drove them away?

He's traveled a bit. He's been to Waterdeep and Elturel at least once, though had no desire to stay.

21) Bhaal despises hope, but what does Durge think of it? Is it fun to play with? A lil bit of sadism never hurt somebody or do they despise it too?

He won't give them the hope that they'll survive, but he will give them the hope that it will be painless. Durge doesn't play with his food unless someone has particularly stoked his ire. He feels he's acting out of kindness, that whatever horrific acts he's committing are for the greater good. In his twisted little psyche he's not evil and people should be thanking him for their deaths. 

22) What's their favourite crime? Excluding murder of course, pick another one beside that.

It's relatively minor, especially in the grand scheme of Durges, but busking without a permit.

23) Did they carry money around with them or was their name enough to pay for anything they'd desire (or the explicit death threats they'd mumble)?

They carried money. It was easier to buy silence.

24) The temple has a lending library. Did Durge use it too? What was their favourite genre or did they stay far, far away from books?

Durge loved to read and had a particular fascination with the rites and histories of other gods. Rune can read if he tries really really hard, but it's extremely slow going and gives him a headache.

25) City or village? What would they choose if they were given the choice?

Durge prefers the city. Rune wants a hovel in the woods with no one around for miles.

26) Durge is well spoken and presumably well read as well. Who taught them? Did they attend an academy?

Learned a bit at home before the incident, just enough to help handle inventories and read recipes. All the rest was learned at the temple and through determination.

27) At one point or another Durge had friends. What were they like? What was Durge's position in the friend group?

Durge was a social chameleon who was a lot of things to a lot of people, but there were very, very few he considered friends. Thomas was loveable if weird and would befriend just about anyone who spoke with him. Sterling was gruff and ran his band of thieves and cutthroats with an iron fist. Lily was a kind, grandmotherly figure who knew all of the neighborhood gossip. But he could count on one hand the number of people who knew him and he kept them all carefully separate.

28) Did they ever attend a street fair or similar city festivities? Did they enjoy it? What was their favourite part?

Durge loved festivals. So many people, so many emotions. Plus it was an excuse to be a bit goofy. Rune would hate them.

29) Did they ever attend a ball or banquet? Run me through their typical evening at one of these 'parties' and tell me whether they hated or reveled in it.

Durge hated them. He hated them with a fiery, burning passion. It was always a congregation of the worst of the worst and very rarely was he allowed to let his control slip. Rune would also hate them.

30) Which of the seven deadly sins would represent them best? Also pride is banned from the list, pick a 2nd one that would fit instead (listen I know y'alls Durges)

Envy, pride barely even factors into it.

31) Gambling? Yes, no, are they good at it?

Occasionally. He isn't great, but will absolutely cheat like a motherfucker. Rune is even worse, but may have a better poker face

32) Cigarette baron lord Enver Gortash would like to know if Durge would indulge themselves in his business or if they prefer not to? Did they try before or quit already?

Social smoker. Never buys his own, but will absolutely mooch.

33) What's one unique trait that you think really sets them apart from other Durges? It may be physical, mental, a worldview or a part of their backstory.

He genuinely doesn't believe he's evil. If you take away the murder and cannibalism he'd probably be chaotic good.

34) Flowery, sweet or spicy scents? Not to say, perhaps, musky?

He's fascinated by smells and tends to equate them to emotions and abstract concepts. His favorites are sharp and angry. Teak, cedar, steel, clove, etc. 

35) Melee or ranged? Arcane? Sketchy deals in a dark ally? (Fighting style, I mean fighting styles.)

Dual wield daggers or bare hands. He likes being close. But he's also flexible. Magic? Sure. Poison? Why not. Big fuck-off axe? Great. Whatever it takes to get the job done.

36) About the author; do you love them in a 'oh my precious baby' sort of way or rather 'I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do to you' way?

I'm sorry for what I'm about to do to you.

37) Do they like fish? Baldur's Gate is a port city, I'd imagine they've tried it at least.

He'll eat it, but they don't particularly care for it.

38) Also can they swim? How did they even learn it?

Yes. He lives in a port city at the mouth of a giant river. There were a few incidents that were literally sink or swim so he learned which.

39) Heat. How do they deal with it? Do they deal with it? What's their body temperature like, as in warmer, colder, perfect average? His body temperature runs unnervingly low. If given the option he'd nap on a rock in the sun like a lizard.

40) If you have any other ocs, do they exist in the same universe and did they ever meet Durge? What was it like and if they didn't, what would it be like? Would anyone survive?

Tav exists in this version of the universe. They've met. Larian made a browser-game about it. It didn't end well for either of them. They're still causing trouble for each other post-tadpole, Tav has just assumed a new name.

41) Dragons, Bhaal, Bane and Gortash love em. How about Durge? Are they somehow incorporated in their design?

Nothing particularly dragony, no. Maybe some teeth or a bone here or there. Bhaal just picked his favorite bits and pieces and slapped them together like a weird sculpture when making him.

42) What's a trait they have that you could never, ever guess from the way they look?

He really, really likes animals. Not just to eat. Rune collects animal friends like a Disney princess. Durge just had a murder of crows that he fed at the park.

43) Children, yes, no, how many, what's the best way to prepare them?

There is a lot to unpack in this one, though most is going to be answered in fic-format eventually. Want kids? No absolutely not. Full stop. He's meant to end life not create it. Have kids? None living. Like kids? Indifferent, but typically friendly toward them. Favorite Recipe? There is this apple-based glaze……… 

44) Abdirak my baby girl, what would their interactions have looked like? Did they ever meet pre tadpole? What is the gore baby thinking about the lady of pain's priest?

Still not sure if they've ever met before, but Durge would have absolutely LOVED to have an in depth discussion about religion with him. Maybe find some meditations on pain that helped with self-control.

45) Can Durge drive a carriage? Are they good at it? Would anybody survive if they were in control?

Nobody would survive. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

46) Night owl or early bird?

They sleep so little that the answer is both. But it's easier to work at night.

47) Also, open book or mysterious stranger?

Yes to both. Durge is an open book that is easy to read in the beginning, but the pages get harder to turn the further you get. The last pages are glued together. Rune wears his heart on his sleeve.

48) Pants or skirts/robes? And I mean this for every durge regardless of gender.

Given a choice, always pants. But choices aren't always available.

49) Top 3 favourite past times, cannibalism and vivisections excluded.

Music, reading, and people-watching (in the park, in the street, in their home at night while they are sleeping). Rune just seems to stare into the middle distance and snarl like a feral dog.

50) Do they do their own laundry or is it Scels job? How many shirts have been ruined by Scels hands already?

He is very possessive and doesn't like people handling his belongings, even something as trivial as laundry.

51) What do they prefer to be addressed as? Their name, title, nickname, pronouns or just as 'you'?

Another complicated answer. They prefer to not be addressed at all, but usually just nod and say "yup that's my name now". There are certain names and titles he hates less than others. If he had to choose The Inevitable would probably be his favorite. Chance and Rune are special. He actively hates Keres and denies Asphodel ever existed. Crane, Lily, Sterling, Thomas, etc are all masks he wears. He doesn't feel any particular way about them, though it makes him uneasy when certain people use them.

52) Open and honest duels, or back handed trickery? What do they prefer?

Surprise attack, roll with advantage.

53) Art gallery, opera or hunting tournament? Let's just play pretend those exist.

Art gallery.

54) Are they more of a sweet tooth, do they love it savoury or do they prefer their mouth burning from the hot spice? Perhaps they just prefer a neutral taste?

Savory. He's got dietary restrictions that prevent him from branching too far.

55) Did the gazette ever print an article about them (or their deeds), what's the headline and what did they feel about it?

Amusement. Typically it was a page-six type of article filled rumors or gossip. He's the embodiment of the black-eyed children urban legend.

56) Outdoors or stay at home kinda person?

Durge typically wants to be out with a crowd. Rune doesn't much care as long as it's quiet.

57) Did they ever hear about the great Wizard of Waterdeep, Mystra's Chosen and if they did, how? What do they think of him then vs now.

Probably, but it was discarded as currently irrelevant information.

58) Was it them who came up with the cipher or Gortash?

Gortash. Who likely also didn't come up with it and just stole it from somewhere.

59) Story behind their name? Is there any story?

Originally he was named after the flowers that were blooming where he was found. Astarion has now named him twice. Gortash named him once. He dislikes the name Gortash gave him, but can't quite explain why and has never mentioned it.

60) Their most treasured memory with Orin? Why do they treasure it? Love, spite, sibling rivalry win?

He got to teach her how to properly use blades. Taught her sword forms, how to properly clean a carcass, how to maintain her weapons, and he was proud of how quickly she took to most of it. She hated cleaning and sharpening her tools, though.

61) Dear creators, would you like for your own Durge to meet the Durge of another creator? How would that look like? Who would survive?

I can't pick. There are so many cool ones. Most would probably snap Rune in half like a twig, though. 

62) Hats. Yes, no, why? Took too long styling their hair? Everyday is bad hair day?

Preferably not, but a lot of times it can't be avoided. It's a sensory nightmare.

63) The sweet sweet smell of gore, we've all heard about it. But is it really sweet to them? Or does it just smell like metal and rot?

It smells like metal and rot. But it also smells like dinner.

64) Did they debate stealing anything else from Mephistopheles vault while already down there? If so, what item was it and what can it do? (Maks up some stuff)

There were a lot of sharp and shiny things, but it all went tits up about half way through and there was no time for detours.

65) Their sign(s)?

66) Jealousy, is it a problem, could they care any less?

Jealous? Not really. Possessive? Like a dog peeing on a fire hydrant. You can borrow his things, but never forget that they are his.

67) Speaking off, did they have any partners before the whole tadpole in their brain bit? If not was there a reason?

Durgetash is already canon in this version of the universe. He was also desperately fascinated with Astarion and his siblings. 

68) Pretty much 99% of the nobility and political leaders in Baldur's Gate is corrupt. What did they think of it? Did they enjoy the infighting and maybe took advantage of it?

Absolutely took advantage to make an obscene amount of money. Though only half of the jobs paid in coin. Anything conducted on Gortash's behalf was paid in weapons.

69) Worgs or Gnolls, which species is their favourite?

Gnolls.

70) Have they ever been imprisoned? Why, by whom, how fast did they escape?

Yes. Though usually it just served as a time-out when he couldn't play nice with Gortash. Made a scene at a nice event? Time out. Killed a person Gortash was trying to make a deal with? Time out. Light stabbing over dinner? Time out. It got worse as time went on, Durge got meaner with age.

71) Would they survive in modern times? Could they adapt easily or would they be desperate to return home?

It's a coin toss as to whether Durge would blend in perfectly or be incarcerated in the first ten minutes. Alone and without medical intervention Rune would sleep in subway stations until he snapped and ate someone's face. With assistance he'd probably become a semi-functional member if society.

72) They don't exist in Faerûn, but hypothetically speaking, which TV show/series would be their absolute favourite?

Durge would really love documentaries of all shapes and sizes. Rune would like trivia-based gameshows even though he'd never have the right answers.

73) What's their usual mood/state of mind like? Happy, focused, grim, about to snap someone's neck from irritation?

Happy on the surface, constant inner guilt and turmoil.

74) Graveyards, a nice place to hang out or a crime scene to be avoided? Did post tadpole Durge ever discover a gravestone dedicated to them?

There's at least six of them. Hell, there's a statue in The Wide, though it has a face that makes his skin crawl.

75) Would they prefer a small and cute pet or a large and scary beast? Besides Gnolls and Worgs that is. Just as a vibe.

The smaller they are the more he can have. Durge really likes birds. Rune doesn't care as long as they're soft

76) Did they ever tell the other Chosen about their own plans to rid the world of all life in father's name?

Gortash knows, Kethric doesn't as far as me knows.

77) Also, did they know that the others would probably betray them? Did they perhaps even prepare for it already, or were they oddly naive enough to trust them?

He had a feeling Orin's betrayal was coming, but he had a feeling that Gortash would be more agreeable once there was nothing left to rule over.

78) Do they wear accessories (earrings count)? Which one is their favourite?

Durge loved jewelry. He typically leaned towards silver. His favorite was a pair of earrings made of Orin's baby teeth. Rune adores his Ring of Resistance to Ants and he's going to turn Timber's skull into a necklace. 

79) What languages does Durge speak? Is there any interesting story as to how they've learned them?

He knows common and abyssal. He learned Abyssal thanks to his father (in Minsc and Boo's Journal of Villainy, The Slayer's statblock has abyssal as a known language). He also casts speak with animals without thinking.

80) What went through your head when you crafted these little Durge doll, dear creator? Are they a self inserted of sorts or as far removed from you as possible?

He has become the projection of my traumas and insecurities, just cranked up to eleven and with an extra dose of malice.

81) What do they think of bugs and arachnids? Annoying, gross, fun little creatures? How do they treat one of these things when they see them?

Bugs are fun. He'll clean up empty cobwebs and move living spiders to more prime locations. Rune is about to become the father of four phase spiders.

82) Sleeping. Do they do that? Do they avoid it? Are they generally unable to for one reason or another?

Avoid at all costs, both pre and post tadpole. Durge would stay awake until he was hallucinating and couldn't properly hold a weapon because there was too much to do. Rune is afraid to sleep because he horrified by the things lurking in the dark corners of his mind.

83) Coffee or tea and why?

It's a rare day that he says no to a hot beverage of any kind. He prefers tea because there is so much variety.

84) Realistically speaking, would Durge be able to sit down long and still enough for a portrait or would they move within 5 minutes tops? Any reason for that?

There have been at least two portraits. He burned one. Last he knew the other was locked in a vault he couldn't access in the counting house.

85) Would your durge like you? Why or why not? Would it depend on whether it's pre or post tadpole and would it change if they knew you're the reason for what happened to them?

Durge would probably leave me alone. Rune would almost certainly kill me if no one else was around. If they knew I was the author of their discontent they would both absolutely kill me.

86) Most Durges have piercings, tattoos or both. What's the story behind them? What's the story behind the lack thereof?

Two piercings in the lobe of each ear. No tattoos, but scars everywhere. Most of the scars are a running tally of murder. The rest are accidents, surgery, Kressa's delightful vivisection and, underneath it all, are a faint patchwork like his skin is made from different scraps and pieces.

87) Durge needs to spend a day with someone and they aren't allowed to simply murder their companion. What would they do instead? How would they spend that day?

Durge would go somewhere fun, preferably with music and dancing. Rune would go for a long, silent walk in the woods.

88) How do they wear their hair? What's their preferred style? Did their hair go thru any kind of changes, whether length or texture, at any point during their story?

Durge's hair is short, black, and impeccably groomed, though the color, length, texture and style vary wildly depending on his face. Rune's hair is black, unkempt, and looks like he cut it with a dull knife and no mirror because that's exactly what he did.

89) What's the easiest way to piss them off? Interrupt them when they're focused, wake them from a nap, ignore them?

Touching. Do not touch him if you want to keep your hands. Rune is only marginally less stabby about it.

90) Old blood gets crusty, a feeling most don't particularly enjoy. How do they deal with the plethora of blood and viscera they often face?

Durge spent an inordinate amount of time and money in bathhouses under many different names and faces. It was a good place to pick up useful gossip and bathing was practically a second religion. 

91) Does Durge have a loud voice or are they always asked to repeat what they said because nobody audibly understood em?

Durge typically wasn't particularly loud, but he was well spoken and liked using five dollar words. Rune has trouble stringing two words together.

92) Nail Polish. Yes, no, what colour, do they get someone else to do it for them? Do they even take care of their nails are they crusty and each one has a different length?

No nail polish. Despite looking (mostly) like an elf he has claws closer to a tiefling. Durge took rather meticulous care of them, Rune's are shattered and broken.

94) Dried fish/meat and jerky, apparently a really hot debate, but where does Durge fall? Do they like it, do they detest it, do they have a secret stash hidden somewhere?

Jerky is fine. It's better than fish, but only just.

95) Hyperfixation. Yes, no, what topic has their mind in a chokehold and how much do they enjoy info dumping?

As I mentioned above, he's fascinated by other religions. Specifically their funerary rites.

96) What's their personality type? Talking about the '16 Personalities' test.

Not doing this one. These personality tests give me anxiety.

97) How many blankets and pillows are in their bed at any given moment? Just one set for them to catch a bit of rest or is it more akin to a fabric fortress with comfy things galore? Any teddies?

Small bed with about thirty million blankets. All mismatched, nothing particularly fancy.

98) What's their sexual/romantic orientation? Do they themselves know? Do they simply not care as they're too busy being gods favourite little flesh baby?

Gender and physical appearance play no part in their attraction to someone. Durge likes them sharp and angry and willing to not touch him goddamned ever. Rune just wants someone who doesn't flinch when he looks at them, who will maybe pat him on the head and tell him that they can see he's trying.

98) Their favourite piece of clothing? Any story behind it or is it just too darn comfortable?

Durge will never admit it, even on pain of death, but he stole a nightshirt from Gortash once. Rune really likes the tattered blanket he's turned into a cloak, mostly because it's warmish.

99) Wild card - tell us a story, fact, idea you'd like to share about Durge or their creation.

Rune only happened because of a co-op playthrough with my spouse. It was a double-Tav party but their Tav was malicious. The initial spark for the whole thing was when I was talking to Timber and they came over and just punted her into a tree. As Tav. I really, really wanted to see what it would be like if an objectively evil Tav recruited a Resist-Durge, especially if they had history together.

100) Wild card 2

Every installment of my Durgetash series is going to be based off of a song from this album because it crawled into my brain nearly 25 years ago, hid in the walls, and died before I could get it out.

[minniethemoocherda]

Iridescent: Chapter 6

Summary: When Jazz is promoted to Head of Special Operations, the last thing he expected was to have to work with a face from his past.

Ao3

FF.net

If there was one thing Jazz regretted about becoming Head of Special Operations, it was the paperwork.

It had never been his favourite aspect of the job and now he had at least ten times the amount that he'd had to do when he was just a field agent.

Honestly how anyone in command had time to breathe after they'd finished all their paperwork, was beyond him.

And in the time between Blackout's death and Jazz assuming command, the amount of overdue reports and mission briefs had piled up. Literally. Jazz couldn't even see out from behind the desk thanks to the mountain of datafiles stacked on top of it.

It was odd to be sitting on the other side of Blackout's old desk. But Jazz was going to have to start using eventually so he might as well get it over and done with.

Plus he could use a distraction after yesterday.

Jazz started with the simple stuff first. Catching up with status of the rest of Spec Ops, most of which he was already familiar with. Sliverstreak had recently been loaned to their MacCadams base. Hound was still tailing Lockdown. And of course Mirage had been called back from their mission early.

The only name that Jazz didn't recognise was Bluestreak, a sniper who's been tasked with the elimination of a Decepticon scientist. Judging by her appearance, this Bluestreak couldn't have been much older than Bumblebee. She must've joined the Autobots as soon as she had gotten her final upgrades. Jazz hoped the young bot could handle the mission they'd been given. It looked like the cons had been trying to create synthetic energon again. Unsurprisingly Optimus and Ratchet had voted against the mission, stating that the creation of synthetic energon would be beneficial to their species as a whole especially as they were rapidly running out of the real stuff. But they had been outvoted which Jazz couldn't but felt bad for agreeing with as leaving the Decepticons to create a potentially unlimited supply of fuel and power would practically guarantee the Autobots to loose the war, even if it could be detrimental to the survival of their race. Anyway, Jazz would find out soon enough as the bot was scheduled to be coming home soon.

After that, the reports got a lot more boring. Mostly just repeats of what they'd gone over in the few meetings he'd been too.

Jazz had always struggled with paying attention to anything written down. And he really didn't want his mind to wonder.

So he hooked the data pads up to his desk computer, configuring them with an app, that he was forever grateful to Blaster for making him long ago, that would read the reports out loud.

The voice was a bit robotic and would stumble over abbreviations or call signs but it did its job. And Jazz no longer wanted to bang his head into his desk.

It would still take a long time to get through all of the reports though, so Jazz caught up with the leg stretches he'd been neglecting to do before moving onto some training katas.

Six hours later Mirage would find him sitting upside-down on the couch, fiddling an old piece of scrap into the shape of a crystal-tree whilst a disembodied voice proclaimed the reasons why the twins were no longer allowed within one hundred meters of the med bay.

"Am I interrupting something?" Mirage asked with a raised optic ridge from where he stood in the doorway.

"Only the desire to offline myself from boredom." Jazz replied, putting the sculpture to one side before allowing himself to collapse off the sofa into a heap in the floor. "Have you come to put me out of my misery?"

"Unfortunately not. Our communications expert has been trying to call you for the past hour, so he sent me to check up on you."

"Everything okay?" Jazz asked, dragging himself off the floor and onto the chair behind his desk so that if someone barged in demanding their overdue paper work at least he'd have some sense of decorum.

"Yeah, Blaster was just wondering what day he should book a babysitter for Bumblebee's final upgrade party." Mirage said, crossing his legs as he sat down in the chair in front of him.

Jazz groaned, dropping his head onto the desk with a thunk. Between everything else that had happened, he hadn't had anytime to dedicate to keeping up team morale.

"Can't you plan the party for me mech?" Jazz asked, looking back up with his best cyper pup eyes.

"You do know that the last party I planned was a five course gala right?" Mirage replied.

"Just ask Blaster to sort out the basics and I'll add some special Jazz touches later!"

"I can ask."

"Thanks mech! If I don't get these reports done then Prowl might actually kill me!"

"I assume the mission was a sucess then?" Mirage deadpanned.

"Urghh no! I've tried everything! But the guy still hates my guts!" Which yeah Prowl was far from Jazz's favourite person either right now but even if he didn't like Prowl he still wanted the former enforcer to like him! Rung would probably have a field day psychoanalysing him if he ever bothered to show up for his long overdue psyche evaluation. But Jazz already knew what his problem was so there wasn't any point bothering the ship psychiatrist when there were other who needed their help more.

"Look sometimes people don't want to be your friend and most of the time it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. And you've just got to accept that." Mirage told him, the royal tone of indignance that he'd been raised to speak in failing to hide the hurt he'd been through.

Jazz winced with an apologetic smile. He should've realised this would be a bit of a soar subject for Mirage. When the former aristocrat first joined the Autobots there weren't too many rushing to be his friend and an outlier ability of turning invisible didn't exactly help to build trust either. It had gotten better now, mostly thanks to Jazz integrating him into parties and rec room drama. Now the only person who treated Mirage with an suspicion was Cliffjumper still didn't entirely trust him after the whole pretending to go traitor for a mission fiasco.

"Fair point. Doesn't mean he had to break my electro-base though."

"HE WHAT?!"

Jazz nearly jumped out of his seat at Mirage's reaction. His friend was always so composed, it was part of what made him such a great spy. Jazz could count on one hand the amount of time's he'd seen Mirage loose his cool. Well, he guessed it was on two hands now.

"That's not turning you down, that's being an arsehole." Mirage continued.

"Hey its no big deal. Its just a stupid intrument." Jazz shrugged attempting to act nonchalant. Which was pointless as Mirage was one of the few bots who knew him well enough to see through it.

The next thing he knew, Mirage was up on his feet and marching for the exit.

Jazz had to vault over his desk to catch up with him.

"Woah mech where do you think ya going?" Jazz asked, blocking the door.

"To give Prowl a peice of my mind." Mirage replied, that regal voice of his cold with anger.

Jazz let him pass, knowing that whilst if it came down to it, he could beat Mirage in a fight. But that even if he won that match that wouldn't stop the spy from tracking down his prey. Because if there was one thing that outweighed Mirage's strength of composure, it was his loyalty.

A/N: Yeah so I've switched Bluestreak's gender to a girl and as you can probably tell I've also done with some of the other characters too. I just felt as if I had so few female characters in this story and I thought this would be a good way to add some more. But let me know how you guys feel about it! Xxxxxxx

[agbpaints]

2022, A year in minis

Well we're almost at the new year so I decided to drag everything I've painted out of its many boxes and lay it out to see what I've done. Overall I think this is the most productive year of painting I've had yet, with 123 figures finished in total. I crossed some big milestones with my admech, surpassing 1,000 and 1,500 pts of total painted models. I also started collecting necrons, started collecting battletech, and finished the last few stragglers from my cursed city box. My speed at painting increased this year considerably and I've definitely improved my confidence in my own skills- I've started using basic freehand and weathering techniques on my models and my airbrush is becoming a significantly more used tool even if my motor coordination isn't good enough for it to be a tool for anything more than monocolor base coats.

My favorite 2022 projects

Scrap-mech. Equal parts infuriating and awesome. Cawdor bodies have some of the jankiest connection points I've ever seen but their aesthetic is top notch and slots right into admech. This was the first project I did using citadel contrast paints, and while I don't think they're the one stop replacement for normal techniques they were billed as they work fantastically as like an 'extra thicc' wash.

Battletech. I really did not expect to have as much fun as I did with these big stompy murder bots. The models are appropriately chunky and gave me a lot of practice with panel lining. I also discovered how much fun flocking is!

Vargskyr: One of my favorite monsters that I've painted and my absolute most favorite piece from cursed city. I had a lot of fun getting the hair to blend in with the skin on this big chunky boy.

Tech-wraith Kitbash. This was an idea that came like a bolt from the blue while I was buying discount models that went from notion to build to done in less than 3 days. It's mostly bits and pieces from a kataphron kit welded into a cairn wraith but I'm super proud of it.

Flayed One Kitbashes. Flayed Ones are one of my favorite necron things period and after my initial spooktober idea hit a roadblock I fell into my backup plan, a flayer killteam. The lord is probably my favorite model I built out of the mix- he's mostly a primaris intercessor mashed together with an old warrior sprue.

Goals for 2023

Pile of shame busting: holy shit do I still have a lot of bare plastic to get rid of. My biggest goals for next year are going to be finishing my warcry and infinity starters that I've left to molder in their boxes and building/painting the rest of my admech backlog. In total I believe this is about 60 models

Spooktober project: last year I recieved a Seraptek heavy construct second hand that's been hiding in a box in my attic ever since. After reading twice dead king I've decided to make it the Seraptek from That Scene (you know the one) but life and the overwhelming size of the project meant I wussed out for spooktober this year. With another year of experience and time to plan ahead, it's gonna happen this time.

Advanced techniques: I've been experimenting recently with non-metalic metal and its absolutely nerd sniped me. I suck at it, but I see a glimmer of something I could get better at that I'm gonna try to claw towards. I'd also like yo try messing around more with various blending techniques in general.

Model photography: so far all of my models have had their photos taken using a desk lamp, a piece of calligraphy paper, and the phone camera on my Samsung. They're OK but I want to devote some time and resources into upgrading my kit and skills here.

[pancakeke]

Is it hard to make a hoodie from scratch? I kinda wanna learn to sew so I can make the cool outfits I see in games but as everyday wearable clothes

I've made jackets and hoods before but never together lol. But hoodies shouldn't be very complicated to sew. They don't have many pieces and the assembly is straightforward.

The only issue I really foresee would be that you probably want to practice sewing stretch/knit fabrics before trying to sew a hoodie. Newbies often have difficulties sewing knits due to the fabrics' tendencies to stretch out rather than move when a sewing machine tries to feed them past its needle. You need to make a few adjustments to how you sew as well to allow the fabric to stretch once it's sewn (otherwise you'll snap some threads when the fabric attempts to stretch). There are a number of resources on YouTube you can check out to learn about sewing stretch fabrics and get tips if you have problems . This video covers a number of them.

Also, I recommend sewing basic clothing before jumping into more complicated video game style designs. Once you're more confident in your skills and understand more about garment construction it'll be easier for you to understand wilder patterns (if the patterns you want even exist). If they don't exist, you can modify basic patterns to suit your needs.

For example: the jacket in that third pic is mostly the pattern for this regular hoodie, but I needed to modify the design to give it a sailor style collar since it was for an Omori cosplay. So I drew a collar on a big piece of paper (specifically a big cut from this roll of paper), matched it up to the collar of the hoodie, and trimmed the paper down until the shapes meshed well. That became the pattern piece for my collar.

The Squid Game cosplay was also made with an existing pattern (Simplicity 8722) but the hood from the pattern was stupid as hell so I had to draft a better one myself. I also had to modify the actual pattern to use a front zipper because it wanted to use velcro (??? bonkers). You cant really see but I made up my own pockets too.

The Disco Elysium jacket in the first photo has no serious shape alterations unless you count that I extended the zipper up the collar material. My real issue was that the original pattern didn't use a lining, which worried me the finished product would feel kinda cheap, especially since I wanted to wear it as a normal jacket. So I added a lining to make it feel comfier and better quality.

I hope that helps out!

[ghostwise]

Tag game, tagged by @bigcheezey 💖💖

1) describe a project you’re planning to work on over this summer:

This summer I'm going to write as much of Quinta de Talpa as I can. I'm really set on finishing the story in its entirety before I begin to share it, because I want to make sure that the pacing is tidy. The first arc alone seems like it'll be about a third of the length of FSISAP… if that keeps up, QDT could wind up being well over 150k. It's intimidating but exciting :)

2) recommend a book:

Small Gods by Terry Pratchett. It's a Discworld novel that mostly stands alone, and it's beautiful.

3) recommend a fic:

I sincerely apologize, but I don't actually read a lot of fic! Was wondering about it so I went to look at my #fic rec tag but the only fic in there is this lovely piece by Jay. I'd recommend anything by them wholeheartedly, they have a gorgeous and arresting writing style.

One fic that has stuck to my brain over the years is Untangled, a one-shot Anthy/Utena future fix-it fic. It's so sweet.

Oh, once I read a DS9 fic where Julian Bashir had a near-death experience and faced his own mortality head on, and for some reason it was so cathartic that it grounded me from an acute weeks-long anxiety episode?? Wish I could tell ya the title, but. I forgor.

4) recommend a song:

I have so many favorites. Listen to Dull Flame of Desire by Bjork if you haven't already.

5) share some advice:

Go on solo outings. Especially if you are struggling right now. Get comfortable going places alone. Go to the movies alone. Go to diners for breakfast and sit at the counter, so you don't have to wait to be seated… or perhaps do the opposite, and ask for a booth! A WHOLE BOOTH TO YOURSELF. And hog it for as long as you feel comfortable. And tip the waitress for her trouble, and for the coffee refills. Bring a book, or a sketchbook . Go to the park, or go to the next city and find a bakery to try. Go to used bookstores , but instead of looking at book titles, look at the edges of the smooth pages of the books; some will have gaps, where people have left ticket stubs or photographs for you. Go to antique stores and sketch the items.

As you begin, some of these outings will feel disappointing and you won't feel any better after them. Some might even be dreadful. But some will be so special, and the practice is what matters more anyway.

Tagging anyone who feels up to it?

[moonshine-nightlight]

Peppermint: What’s your favorite way to overcome writer’s block? 

& Rosehip: First person, third person limited, or third person omniscient? 

from the tea ask game?

@myers-meadow

thanks for asking!

Peppermint: What’s your favorite way to overcome writer’s block? 

Tricky - depends on what type of writer's block.

If I'm not writing because life is super busy or stressful, then I wait for life to chill or start more officially setting aside time write. Often that can be frustrating because even if I manage to find a bit of time, my mind is still too stressed to actually use it well. It sucks to have to just wait, but often that's the best solution--if I'm in that sort of mindset where I realize I can't write, I stop trying because that'll just make more frustrated and stressed when I can't. Instead, if life is busy/stressful and i do find a bit of time to myself, I try to read.

If I don't want to write (which is usually because of stress tbh), then I either work on outlines or notes or worldbuilding--writing adjacent things. Or, per above, I read instead. I feel like reading makes me want to write, I think its good practice for writing, and it helps me de-stress: all of which encourage writing. Or I go do something else. Or I watched a new TV show or movie. Writing isn't my job and my livelihood doesn't depend on it so I get to just...wait til I want to again. And it was hard to give myself permission to do that, but I think my life and writing and my feelings about my writing are better for it.

If I have writer's block in the sense that I don't know what to write, then I usually just start jumping around between stories. I write out of order too, so sometimes trying to force myself to write the next piece of the story just isn't working, so I just write whatever scene or part I do want to write--even if its the last scene or for some story i don't think will get finished in a while.

If I get writer's block because I literally can't figure out what happens next in a scene or its not working for me or something doesn't make sense, then I focus on trying to articulate what isn't working and what I do want to be happening (literally or vibes wise). Or I might just again, skip that part for now, write the aftermath of the fight rather than the fight, which normally makes coming back to it easier. I also have some friends who are happy to be sounding boards or help me think of solutions (which is just the first thing but with my friend making considering noises as I ramble at them lol). Or maybe that part isn't necessary or however much I like the specific character beat, it doesn't fit there or at al and so it needs to be scrapped.

I realize this got super rambly and doesn't address "favorite" so TL:DR either reading or talking out the problem with a friend.

Rosehip: First person, [second person], third person limited, or third person omniscient? 

A blend of third person omni and third person limited is probably my instinct, but I've been trying to stick more closely to third person limited because writing mostly limited with just random sentences of other ppl is ultimately distracting (in a negative way) for the reader. Then second person more recently is my second choice. I never write first person and I hardly ever read it--just not a fan.

[kaeyazuha]

𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 (𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮)

ft. childe, diluc, kaeya

❝ s/o who always tries to help others and is always there for them, but can never get/accept any affection in return. They feel unlovable, alone, distant, lonely. They think no one cares about them and only exist to entertain others and then get thrown away ❞

; I’m sorry people have treated you so poorly, love. I hope this is okay!!

; 3/11/22

; Comfort/Fluff

; CW: physical touch, kissing, poor mental health

     𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗲 '𝗧𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗮'

✧ Why do people hurt you like this? How can someone so altruistic and kind receive nothing after giving so much? He’s completely baffled, watching you help person after person with that beautiful but forced smile when they leave without giving you more than a glance. It doesn’t take him very long to figure out just why you’ve been so tired and isolated as of late, distancing yourself without meaning to as your head drowned in swirling depths of insecurities and grief. At this point, Childe wouldn’t even bother to try and use his coy flirtations or overexaggerated cheerfulness to try and make you smile again- no, you deserve better than that. You deserve more than the happiness you’ve given out and away so willingly. 

✧ Childe’s love language is a strange mixture of physical touch and gifts, and you’ll see a lot of that. Anything you want, it’s yours. A hug? Done, he pulled you into his chest before you could finish speaking. A certain meal or snack? He’s either making it himself or he runs to the nearest restaurant to buy it for you. Anything he can give you, he will. He’d offer to give you the world, but the world can be a disappointing and corrupt place. No, even Celestia wouldn’t be enough for you, with its cruel ideals and lies. Instead, he gives you himself. It would take the Tsaritsa herself to drag him away from you at this point, he’s practically attached! He’s got to make up for everything those assholes didn’t do, he’d say. Now that you’ve got him, don’t expect him to let go. 

✧ From there, after he’s bought out every store in Liyue (and a few in Mondstadt), he mostly focuses on giving you little reminders. Most are reminders that he loves you and to take care of yourself, others are reminding you to be a little selfish; don’t throw yourself at people who will take advantage of you. It’s okay to say no, he’d remind you. If you can’t bring yourself to decline someone, Childe will happily do it for you. A little while later, a very excited Ajax would eagerly suggest you come to Snezhnaya to see his family- because if nobody else other than himself, he knows his family would accept you with open arms and shower you with the love and appreciation everyone else took from you.

- ✧ -

Tired eyes flitted from the clock to the setting sun shining through the window, your expression sullen and meek. Another day would soon pass, a new day…then why did it feel the same as all the others? Be at everyone’s beck and call, receive nothing in return, watch them leave with the piece of your heart you lent to them, and then wake up and do it all once more. 

How sickening.

“Angellll~.” A chipper voice greeted, the distant sound of a door closing urging you to sit up and plaster on your best smile. “Sorry I took so long, a few recruits needed more training than expected.” Childe slung an arm over your shoulder, resting his head on yours before narrowing his eyes- your expression hasn’t changed once since he walked in. 

“I’m sorry, any way I can help?” The words felt all too familiar on your tongue, bitter and vile after repeating it so many times. Gloved fingers moved from your shoulder to your chin, where he cupped it and turned you to face him. You found it hard to look him in the eyes; the piercing blue coaxing you to spill every secret you’ve ever kept, every emotion you’ve ever felt. “Hey, I’m missing your pretty face- look at me, angel.” Those same eyes came into view when he tilted his head to rest his forehead on yours before pulling away and opening his arms for you, a silent invitation. You debated on it for a moment, but ultimately leaned into his arms, and he held you tight to his chest- was his heartbeat always this fast? “Ah…they’ve got you at it again, hm? You really gotta stop wasting yourself away on selfish bastards, it’s just hurting you. Sure, it helped them, but they’re just going to need help again later on. It’s not worth killing yourself so they can have an easier day.”

A pause, then he spoke once more. “I’m grateful for you, (Y/n). I hate to admit it, but you’re my one and only weakness; just the thought of seeing you again is enough to get me through the day!” Ignoring the burn in your throat, you buried yourself further into his clothing to stifle the small sobs forming. “It’s okay, let it out. You deserve it.” His voice lowered into a gentle whisper towards the end, and he brought you closer to him. One hand protectively rested on the back of your head, the other hooked over your back and held you securely. “...I worry about you, y’know. Every day I leave and come back to find you in shambles, I don’t like it. You don’t deserve to feel like this…and it’s taking me everything to not become your bodyguard at this rate.” He laughed, finding solace in the way you clutched onto him and burrowed deeper into his clothing. “I’m trying to give a speech here, c’mon--” His hands guided you to look up at him, a surprisingly doting expression donning his face. “There you are~. Now then, I need you to promise me something.”

Hesitantly, you nodded. “Promise me you’ll take better care of my (Y/n)? They have a tendency to let themself waste away for the sake of people who don’t deserve it. Too kind-hearted for a world like this…” He sighed dramatically, and you stifled a laugh at how woeful he made himself look. Moving one hand from your shoulder to the space in between you, he stuck his pinkie out and grinned. You smiled warmly at the gesture, finding it much easier to breathe, and looped your pinkie around his. Slowly, a mischievous grin stretched over his face. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life.”

“Childe, no-”

“You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” He mused, holding your pinkie tight.

Playfully hitting at his chest, you groaned. “I get it! You can stop!”

“The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue offffff-?” Childe tilted his head, waiting until you reluctantly joined in.

“So you never lie again.”

     𝗗𝗶𝗹𝘂𝗰 𝗥𝗮𝗴𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗿

✧ Honestly, he doesn’t understand at first. He’s straightforward, blunt, and doesn’t waste time- especially not with selfish idiots; so why are you? Why are you subjecting yourself-- hurting yourself for the sake of someone who doesn’t need it? He’s a bit harsh with his words, but he means well. The mere idea of you handing out your heart to others only to have them toss it away, it’s infuriating. You, especially you, don’t deserve that. He reminds you of that with little actions for a while- fleeting touches, soft gazes, a kiss to the forehead, and the occasional hand on the shoulder. But it just…wasn’t enough. More, you deserve more, what can he do more of? From there, he doesn’t take long to notice how you lean into his touches or stare at him so longingly when he pulls away- and then the gears start turning.

✧ He’d take you by surprise, because it probably took him awhile to gather his wits and swallow his nerves before wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his head on your shoulder. A moment of silence, then he starts whispering sweet nothings in your ear. It’s bold of him, but he keeps it up. When you come home, he’s waiting on the couch for you to tell him about your day. When you walk together, his hand’s either protectively resting on the small of your back or holding your hand- maybe intertwining pinkies if he’s more shy. Diluc’s not good with words, so he prefers to show his love for you through actions.

✧ However, he still sees the distant look in your eyes when insecurities and unwelcome thoughts starts to cloud your vision- instead, he tries to fill your head with words of adoration and reassurance. Granted, he’s still awkward and not very good at being suave or poetic with his declarations of affection, but every word he speaks is beautiful nonetheless. It’s beautiful since those words are about you, everything is beautiful when it’s about you, so please don’t pull away. He’s cold, he’s harsh, he’s bad at expressing things, but please d-

- ✧ -

“-don’t ever doubt yourself or how I feel about you.” Out of the blue, his words pierced the silent atmosphere. It almost scared you had it not been for the quietness, almost meekness of his tone. 

“Is…something wrong? Where’s this coming from?” Averting your eyes from his steel gaze, you set down your shoes and moved to sit on the couch. You found it rather difficult to try and focus when scarlet eyes practically burned holes into your very being; but it held no anger. No, his stare was pleading, desperate, confused, utterly bewildered- he stared at you so intently to try and pick you apart, figure out just what was wrong so he could help you properly. Despite your nervous smile, he still glared, even as he walked closer and sat adjacent to you.

“I can see it, you’re distancing yourself…I’m assuming because you’re starting to doubt. I’m not hurt, nor am I angry, I’m just…concerned. I don’t want you to feel this way, especially not because other people are incompetent and selfish.” Diluc sighed breathily, raking a hand through his loose hair before he hesitantly brought you to lean on his shoulder. Though he jumped and accidentally shook your head off his shoulder when he heard small sniffles from you- crap, you started crying, oh no-

“Wait, wait, I apologize, dearest. I didn’t mean to make you cr-”

“No! Nono, I’m sorry, I-I don’t know why I’m like this, I’m sor-” Then he was the one to cut you off with a quick kiss to the corner of your lip, then one to your cheek, and then your forehead. You bit down on your quivering lip, willing the tears to stay behind your eyes and praying he didn’t see just how close you were to falling apart. 

“Please, don’t apologize. You especially have no reason to apologize.” Diluc cupped your jaw, easing your lip out from between your teeth with his thumb before pressing you into his shoulder, resting his head atop yours. “If anything, I’m sorry. I apologize on behalf of all the selfish pricks that took advantage of you, of your kindness. I’m sorry I haven’t noticed just how distant we’ve both been…” He trailed off, taking a moment to brush away the nearly silent tears streaming down your face, then held your face in his hands as if he were holding fragile glass. Scarlet eyes gazed lovingly down at you, though they swirled with concern, sadness, anger, regret, and determination. 

“Are you…” You hiccuped, debating whether or not to continue when he nodded slowly, urging you to do so. “Are you going to leave me…? After I’ve done enough?” He flinched, eyes widening and shoulders tensing at your words.

“Leave you? Archons, no, I’d never even consider the thought unless it was you who wanted to leave me.” Finding comfort in the way he held you closer, you rested your head atop his chest and found solace in his reverberating heartbeat. “I don’t want you to ‘do’ enough for me, you are enough for me. I can’t get enough of you, I love you more than this city I’ve vowed to protect. I want you beside me, not as some sort of servant, but as my equal. You are my lover, and I fully intend to keep it that way…at least until you’re willing to become something more.” Diluc chuckled softly, pulling you into a full embrace and then running his hand up and down your back, trying to soothe the quivers running through your spine.

“Something…more?” He tensed once more, forgetting he’d started to speak his thoughts aloud. Stammering and tripping over his words like a clumsy teenager, Diluc coughed nervously and averted his gaze to the window just behind him. 

“Only if you’d want that, of course. Either way, I love you as you are…please don’t doubt that. I know I struggle to show it sometimes, and I thank you for being patient with me on that. Do me a favor, if you will.” You whined under your breath when he pulled away to look at you fully, missing the warmth of his embrace. “Value yourself more. Your time, your heart, value yourself as more than a vessel for others to use and then throw away.”

“Even if it’s just for tomorrow, allow me to spoil you; tomorrow is yours, as you are mine. We’ll do everything and anything you’d like, because that’s what you truly deserve.”

     𝗞𝗮𝗲𝘆𝗮 𝗔𝗹𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗵

✧ Similar to Diluc, Kaeya also struggles to understand why you bend over backwards to help everyone. Can’t they solve their own problems? Or find someone else, someone less overwhelmed to help them?? Ah…but you’re too kind-hearted to say no. Even if it takes your time, effort, energy, you still take it all with a smile on your face. But for what, and to what end? He hasn’t seen you without that forced grin that practically begs for help. Then it clicks, and he practically shoots up from his desk while pondering all of the things he hasn’t done for you. At this rate, was he any better than those who’ve hurt you? Thinking about all the nights he spent away from you in favor of a few drinks, all of the times you had to take care of him after said nights, how you put up with his antics-- gods, why is he such an idiot?

✧ Kaeya would beat himself up for awhile after noticing just how miserable you truly were. But! It doesn’t take him long to swallow his self-pity and instead find ways to make up for everything. Less nights spent at the tavern, more spent holding you close in the comfort of home. More time dedicated to you, less dedicated to meaningless affairs. More and more, less and less, he slowly chips away at the holes in his schedule and fills them with time with you. Kaeya prides himself on the intricate and suave words that roll so easily off his tongue, but when it comes to real feelings, he finds his tongue tied and heart in his throat. Being vulnerable scares him, but if that’s what it takes for you to feel even a bit more loved, he’ll sit down with you and have a heartfelt conversation that leaves your heart beating rapidly and a giddy smile on your face.

✧ However, he also addresses just how easily you give yourself to people. He absolutely adores just how altruistic you are, but not at your expense. Not when every time you give a little bit of your heart to someone, they take and take until there’s nothing left for yourself. If you let him, he’d encourage you to be as kind as you are now, but to yourself. Treat yourself to a special dinner, lay in bed even when the sun tells you to get up, spend the time you use on others to spend time with yourself (and him please). From that point on, he reminds you daily of just how incredible you truly are.

- ✧  -

A puppeteer, tugging and pulling at strings thin as air and miserably guiding the doll day after day- waiting for the strings to snap and fall apart; that’s what you felt like. A puppeteer of your own body and mind. It almost felt like you were far away from reality, watching through a doll’s eyes. It hurts, you’ve helped everyone- you’ve given it your all, why are you still alone? Where is everyone? 

You sighed, leaning against the wall and stared off into nothingness with a faint ghost of a smile resting on your face. Time seemed to fade slowly, farther and farther away, and then a gloved hand rested on your shoulder and shook you back to reality. “No, no, this won’t do…” He sighed, taking a seat in front of you on the floor before leaning his head against the wall to look at you fully. 

…Gods you look miserable.

Kaeya inwardly frowned, scooting closer and cupping your cheek, pressing a chaste kiss to the crown of your head before speaking again. “I’m proud of you, y’know.” Your eyes shot up, words of praise falling so easily from his lips and sounding like flowers and honey into the open air. “You work so hard…don’t think I don’t see it, angel, I know you’re doing your best.” His gaze, usually unreadable and clouded, seemed to hold all the love in the world as he stared at you. Noticing the way your lip started to tremble, he wrapped his arms around you and held you close- close enough to hear his heartbeat.

“Why- Why does nobody care…? What am I doing wrong?” Heated tears flooded your gaze, small hiccups keeping your throat in a chokehold with the uproar of emotions. “Kaeya, why don’t they care…?” Kaeya did his best to suppress a tear or two of his own, biting on the inside of his cheek and stroking small circles into your back. He went to speak again, having to think his words ove- “Do you care?”

He tensed, pulling away with a bit too much force and cupped your cheek; his thumb brushed away the tears that continued to wet your skin. “Yes! Yes, of course, I care.” Eyebrows drawn tight, eyes widened into a look of desperation. “I care about you more than anything, my love. I care about you more than words can describe- sometimes it hurts, adoring you so much but not having the words to tell you. I can’t say the same for the lowlives who used you so cruelly, but never, never doubt just how important you are; to me, and everybody else.” You sputtered out a laugh, leaning into the hand that continued to caress your cheek. 

“Thank you…’m sorry, didn’t mean to melt down.” Your heavy sigh was muffled when he brought you back into his embrace, the fluff of his clothing tickling your nose.

“No, no, don’t apologize. I’m glad you entrusted me with this.” His gaze darkened, though you couldn’t see it. “...Please be more selfish, I can’t fathom seeing you hurt like this. I care about you immensely, so please care about yourself a bit more too. Those people will be fine, they can help themselves or find somebody else. But you, you need a break. Let’s take a few days off, yeah? I’ll make up for all of the heinous things those idiots did…” He pulled back once more, a small smile tugging at his lips and a mischievous glint reflected off his eye. 

“And do remember, I love you. Ah ah- no, don’t say anything yet. Just…let me appreciate you for a bit.”

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✧˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Word Count: 3230

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✧˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

- Ky♡♡

𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧; 𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻!

@storytravelled ; @irethepotato ; @paradise-creator ; @lordbugs ; @straymoon96​

[jade-parcels]

The genshin men: fatherhood edition

With: Childe, Zhongli, Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, Venti, Albedo and Baizhu

—————————

Childe:

Ajax loves kids and he’ll make that known early on in your relationship

Like...This man wants five or more kids but he’ll settle for four. He dreams of a big family, getting to surround himself with you and your kids every night for family dinners, everyone getting together for big birthday parties or reunions! That’s his dream life! Plus, in Snezhnaya, most families have more than two kids anyways

He will cry so hard when his babies are placed in his arms for the first time, I mean he’s a mess. Nose is running, eyes puffy, lost of sniffling lmao he is so excited to be a dad!! Don’t you dare tell the other Harbingers how much he cried...What do you mean you took a picture when he wasn’t looking??? Hey??!?!

With his obscene amount of mora, he’ll buy a huge house that will accommodate everyone. Anything you want will be purchased that day or within 48 hours, the same goes for the kids

But they’ll all learn to be thankful for what they have. They’ll learn to fight, fish and speak multiple languages. He has high expectations but let’s face it, he’ll be proud of them no matter what

You’re gonna have to be the one to put your foot down though because Ajax doesn’t enjoy being the ‘mean parent’, he has trouble saying no to the kiddos which can create some tension between you and your husband. He has good intentions of course!! He doesn’t wanna say no to those cute, freckled faces!!

Zhongli:

Zhongli is nervous about having kids because he’s immortal. So this will go one of two ways. 1. You have the baby and the baby ends up not being immortal (or you adopt a baby who is not immortal) Then he loses you both. OR 2. You have the baby and it inherits his immortality and becomes an adeptus. Now he and the baby will have to watch you die while they both life forever.

Either way...It hurts him to think about because he loves you!! He wants to have a family with you!! He wants to give you that perfect family life every human desires!! But he’s torn

You two will just have to figure it out.

Zhongli will be a strong, male figure for your kid(s) and he will instill that traditional kindness and respect into their behavior. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ always, always offer to help someone who needs it, do good deeds and you will feel accomplished, be the best you you can be, alway try your hardest because that’s all that matters

He will be sure that your kid(s) always feel loved ALWAYS. Zhongli will tell them stories, cook for them, take them to school, anything that needs to be done. When you’ve had a rough day, he’ll step in to take over for the night without being asked. He shows interest in everything your kid(s) like and he will do his damn best to display every piece of artwork they make or every pretty rock they find

He...will make a great dad :’)

Kaeya:

Ooooh brother, at first Kaeya says no he doesn’t want kids but...Then he starts thinking about it

He observes the happy families that walk around the cobblestone streets of Mondstadt, how the kiddos smile and laugh with their parents. He’ll patrol in the afternoons, usually rounding the corner just in time to see the city’s kids leave school for the day, watching as they all run down the street to go home to their parents or play in the fountain together...Yeah, that really warms his heart

He’d want one or two kids, preferably two to avoid an only child being lonely. He isn’t on the best terms with Diluc but he can admit that they had a great childhood together, playing at the winery and running around as brothers do

Kaeya would be a very patient, understanding father. He doesn’t have much of a temper so he’d use the kids’ mistakes as learning opportunities instead of getting upset at them

He would be obsessed with the kids when they’re babies though oh man if you thought you had baby fever, he has it times ten! He loves holding the baby, watching with a twinkling eye as his baby grasps his thumb with its tiny hand... adorable

And if your kids inherited his eyes, his star shaped pupils that his ancestors passed down to him...He’s gonna get emotional

Everyone at the knights’ headquarters and the Angel’s Share will get sick of him REALLY fast cause he won’t stop bragging about how cute and smart his kids are lmao

Diluc:

Diluc would be such a soft dad don’t even get me started

He loves you so much of course he wants to have kids with you! Is that even a question?? He won’t be the one to bring it up unless he gets the feeling that you want kids but once you ask, he’ll agree so fast

He’ll be grateful to even have one kid with you :’) and he’ll be fine with however many kids YOU want. You want one kid? Perfect! You want four? No problem, the manor is big enough for ten! You...you want ten...? Time to hire some more maids then lmao

Diluc is a worry wart though, he’ll be afraid to hold the baby, feed it, bathe it, he’s terrified of hurting the baby or the baby suddenly hating him. So just help him out!! Cause when he gets comfortable with the baby, he’ll be in full dad mode

He isn’t embarrassed to walk around the manor, conducting business with a baby strapped to his chest!

Diluc is a very kind, gentle dad who will always offer helpful solutions to the kiddos’ problems. He’ll make sure all of their needs are met while also trying to avoid spoiling them... Too much... There will be a fair amount of spoiling...

His own father wasn’t too affectionate with him so that’s why he’ll be affectionate with his kids! Hugs and kisses when he tucks them in at night, big dad hugs when they get home from school, holding their hands in the busy streets of Mondstadt. His father was a great dad! He just aims to be better.

Xiao:

Like Zhongli, he worries about the mortality thing. Since he’s an Adeptus, his kid will certainly be an Adeptus too if you have kids together.

He also worries that his kid(s) will hate him. His duty is to kill demons which means that rain or shine, holidays, special occasions, day or night he’s gotta be ready to go slaughter demonic beings. So he’ll inevitably miss out on important stages in the kiddos’ lives

And admittedly... He’ll be scared of his kids lmao

They’re screaming, crying, barfing, pooping, laughing, screaming again...He can’t predict their behavior. It’s unsettling. All of that goes away one night when you sit him down and place your sleeping baby in his arms. His eyes go wide...And he just watches. This tiny, little baby...Feels no fear for him. It’s comforted by his presence. He almost cries...ALMOST

He’s still pretty much the same Xiao we all know and love but now he has a kid. “Slaying demons is what I do...Hey, go back inside and finish your dinner. Yes, even your vegetables. I don’t care that you don’t like them-...Fine. Don’t tell your mother, bring them to me. I’ll eat them” cute :)

He’s a protective dad and husband, he’d never let anyone or anything harm his beloved family

Venti:

Venti....does not want kids. He thinks they’re cute! He likes the idea of kids but he knows he wouldn’t enjoy actually having kids

You two already have so much fun together!! You don’t need a kid!! You guys have dogs!! Dogs are like kids! But they’re more independent and they’re cuter!

He’ll feel bad if you want kids and he doesn’t, he really will! But it’ll be nearly impossible to convince him cause he’s made his mind up :/

Venti’ll make it up to you somehow though, he’ll take you out more and show you all of the adventures you guys can have if there aren’t kids around

But for the sake of fatherhood headcanons, let’s pretend he gave in. Venti would be a very caring dad. He would cuddle the hell out of this kiddo and sing to them :’) the only problem is that Venti doesn’t like being tethered to one place for too long so he tends to take off and not come back for a few days... :(

Albedo:

Albedo wants kids mostly just to see what fatherhood would be like. He’s always been curious about what that part of his life would be like so why not have a kid

He’d be good with one kid, two at most cause after practically raising Klee, he knows how some kids can be and...He doesn’t have the mental capacity for more than two kids at a time lmao

He tries his best to show more emotion in his face. We all know he usually sits like this 😐 and goes ‘wow im so happy right now’. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he was bored out of his mind right? So he’s gotta work on that. And when he musters up a smile for the baby and it smiles back at him????? Yeah...He’s gonna try to smile a lot more now

He definitely softens up once he becomes a dad, he shows emotion more than he used to and surprisingly, he takes time off of work. Shocker, I know! He decides that he’s been in the lab long enough and that he wants to be able to be there for these moments with you and his kid(s) :’) :’) He trusts Sucrose and Timaeus to take over for him for a couple hours

He keeps a journal for each kid and writes down the date and time they have their firsts or just interesting things they do ->

- 8/4: Baby sees and plays with a cat for the first time

- 9/5: Baby smacked me in the face and laughed so hard she threw up

-9/12: Baby learns that pulling my hair gets my attention. She now continues to do so

-10/15: Baby stays at Aunt Klee’s house for the first time

Baizhu:

Baizhu really loves kids, he works with them a lot and he considers Qiqi to be his daughter anyway but in terms of you guys having a kid together, with his condition he can probably only handle one kid running around

He will do his absolute best to be a good dad. Even if he feels like death, he’ll help change diapers, feed the baby, care for it when you need a break. He isn’t contagious so when you’re sleeping and he feels gross, he’ll sit back against the pillows with the baby on his chest, the three of you resting together (though he doesn’t fall asleep...that would be dangerous for the baby)

Baizhu already tends to nag at you about your health and lifestyle choices but now?? He’ll be a menace. He’ll be constantly evaluating your baby’s condition, checking to see if a certain food is giving them a rash or making sure their skin isn’t drying out. He’s hyper aware of your baby’s health and will be the one to treat them if they get sick

He’s a busy guy since he runs the pharmacy but he will always do his best to be present for your baby’s big milestones! And when your kid cries cause Baizhu’s medicine tastes like shit, he’ll do his best to not be disappointed in their reaction lmao

When you leave him alone with the baby, he’ll wrap a scarf around himself to tie the baby to his chest while he works and...he looks so cute :) dad baizhu <3 <3 <3 <3

Bonus points for him buying the baby toy medical equipment so he can get your kiddo interested in medicine :)

[makeste]

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol