#trying to sleep in on your day off? too bad the kids wanna scream bloody murder at 8am

[softbromley]

nothing better than when your apartment neighbors don't give a shit

[teddypickerry]

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍.

pairings: harry potter x reader, ron weasley x reader, george weasley x reader, fred weasley x reader, cedric diggory x reader, draco malfoy x reader, blaise zabini x reader, théodore nott x reader, and lorenzo berkshire x reader.

warnings: suggestive dialogue! the reader can be gn but there are mentions of them wearing a dress!

a/n: i had to redo this twice bc it literally randomly deleted and then when i was trying to do the read more thing it deleted again. so funnnnn. :|. ALSO i received a bunch of requests today, those will be coming soon!

harry potter !

• never having a chance to go trick or treating as a kid with the dursley's, harry was more than delighted when halloween rolled around during hogwarts.

• although the depressings of his parents lingered he knew they would want him to have a good time so he never let it get to him. and if he did, you were always right by his side.

• so as a teenager, harry still remained roaming the streets of hogsmede with a pillowcase in his hands. dressed as han solo and luke skywalker with ron, begging for candy.

• you and hermione stood back and watched as if you were their parents, arms crossed as you shared giggles about silly costumes in your view.

• the rest of the month, however, harry remained in dark sweaters and jeans. the aura of the fall weather balanced perfectly with his look.

• candy corn lover <3

• the night of halloween you're both preparing for fred weasleys party

• ron had changed into "a cooler costume" so he wouldn't get bullied by malfoy and his gang for his star wars costume. but harry couldn't care less and stayed as a leader of the rebel alliance.

• you don't mind though... han solo's pretty sexy

• when you arrive at the party you spend half an hour discussing the costumes around you and the dance moves coming from ron.

• finally harry asks you to dance and of course it's awkward, but he tries

• when you arrive back at his dorm, he immediately digs into his halloween candy eating the chocolates and saving the sours for you

• even though he likes sour candy he knows you like it more

• by one o'clock you're lying in bed, eating the candy as his favroite muggle halloween films lull you both to sleep

ron weasley

• acts super tough... mortified.

• he literally cannot even watch a horror movie without screaming his head off

• he had this whole plan to invite you to his dorm to watch muggle horror movies and you'll scream and run to his arms but it's the COMPLETE opposite

• you would think for like saving the wizarding world a million times he would at least not be scared of a guy running around with a knife.

• "um so do you wanna-" *jumpscare* "BLOODY HELL JEZ- that wasn't even that bad."

• acts too cool for costumes and shit but you KNOW that man is a twelve year old deep down and goes trick or treating with harry

• he's definitely a jedi with harry when trick or treating BUT joel from risky business for fred's halloween party and you're lana of course.

• "um harry and i are off to do some... manly things." "are you guys going trick or treating?" "BYE Y/N."

• "we're having a horror movie date night!" *watches it's the great pumpkin, charlie brown* but you don't mind because you get to spend the night cuddling with ron

• he's a BIG cinnamon roll kinda guy especially the ones molly makes. so you decide to surprise him with your cooking skills and make him a homemade batch... with one spell of course. nonetheless he ate them all within the first five minutes of the movie.

• avid pumpkin spice hater 😐

• you're eating your pumpkin pasties and he's side eyeing the shit out of you

• "idk how you like punpkin. i am not letting those pumpkin-fied lips anywhere near me." oh this only results in you covering his face with pumpkin kisses. which of course, he doesn't mind despite his joking cries for you to stop.

• calming him down after fred and george prank him every day

• "ron, ron... it's okay. it's okay trust me. it's just a silly prank." you tell him as you wrap your arm around his shoulder. he sighs as he turns to you, "yeah, i wasn't scared anyways." LIES.

fred weasley

• he doesn't just love halloween, he breathes it

• fred pranks everyone he possibly can but he knows to not even try with you because well.. you'll kill him if he tries to get you

• MUGGLE HAUNTED HOUSES

• he doesn't just love people attempting to scare him, no, he LOVES scaring the scarers.

• he hides in the dark corners of the haunted houses and jumps out at people and laughs his ass off when they get scared

• once he made a little girl cry. he gave her a bunch of candy to make up for it.

• he's been pitching costume ideas to you since march

• "you'd make quite a hot frankenstein's bride if i do say so myself." ;)

• he ADORES passing out candy to the first and second years. he saw it in muggle films and just had to do it.

• he compliments all their costumes and always goes along with whatever they are

• "we'll you're a very pretty princess, if you need a dragon slayer i'm your guy! oh and you- well aren't you the scariest ghost i've ever seen in my entire life. sir nick has nothing on you, mate!"

• the night of halloween is his FAVORITE after the parties and the passing out the candy and the snacks and all, he's ready to have a good time.... if you know what i mean.

• his favorite muggle halloween movie is definitely halloween (1979). he's a big michael myers kinda guy.

• you and george team up to try and scare him several times throughout october but you always fail.

• "bloody hell, darling. you gave me quite the fright." *sarcasm* "at least you're pretty."

george weasley

• four words. rocky horror picture show.

• he makes you watch it every single halloween since you met

• his ideal halloween date is watching horror films and eating all the candy he smuggled from ginny

• "if you're scared, you know you can hold onto me..."

• comfy fall sweaters are his go to

• he likes passing out candy with you and his friends to see the kids costumes. he much rather prefers that then the rager fred throws later that nights

• he'll of course make an appearance, but he'd much rather get back to your dorm room to spend some alone time together

• george doesn't care as much about the spooky aspects as much as his brother but he's always down for a good prank on ron.

• they have an annual prank that consists of filling ron's bed with spiders and always results in the same reaction

• "BLOODY HELL!" "Aw, taking it like a man." "You're such a beast, Ronald." sarcasm.

• he takes you out for a little autumn day in the muggle world. you go buy pumpkins to paint at his parent's house, and get apple donuts with apple cider, and of course he can't stop staring at you while you ponder over the costumes at the halloween shop. he somehow landed in the sexy costumes "mistakenly" and of course, is willing to buy you all of them

• he settles on david bowie for himself which you're all for

• he spends most of his month, however, attempting to prank fred since apparently no one can. he needs your help and he's always telling you all about his ideas

draco malfoy

• too cool for halloween

• he appreciates the dark demeanor though

• when he was little he dressed up as a death eater for like every halloween for the first ten years of his life

• then you came into his life and he stopped thinking all that horrid stuff was cool. so he kind of avoided the holiday.

• it was so hard though, considering you're such a massive fan of it. and he's such a massive fan of you.

• "draco, can you dress up please?"

• it takes A LOT of convincing. but then you finally hit his soft spot. "i'll do anything you want."

• so now you're lathering black paint on his face to be a hot skeleton guy. of course he's wearing it with a black suit, and you're helping him slick back his hair. he looks so hot.

• he's only doing this for you, he keeps reminding you to hopefully make you feel bad and let him back out. but of course you're not.

• draco's only thought is what's going to happen after the party in his dorm room with you. he has no interest in his best mate theo's party, but you promised theo you'd both make an appearance.

• he's skipped the candy and treats this year and gone straight for the cigarettes. he couldn't harm his figure, he is a malfoy after all.

• he was used to galas his mother threw on halloween but watching you interact with your friends as you raved about one another's costumes was much more pleasurable

• green apple suckers. HIS WEAK SPOT. "maybe one..." turns into five

• "WHY are these children wanting their feet to get smelt?" "DRACO, THATS NOT HOW IT GOES."

• you make him watch muggle witch movies and he's critiquing them like he's getting graded on it "um, there is a SPELL FOR THAT?" "bloody fucking hell, that's not how you do that!"

cedric diggory

• pumpkin spice LOVER.

• pumpkin coffee, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin bread. all YES.

• he's taking you to muggle diners and you're getting everything pumpkin on the menu. while you sip your hot coffee and watch the leaves fall to the ground outside.

• brown pants all for october. with sweater vests or tshirts or crewnecks or anything really. he's wearing brown pants.

• cedric's in between dressing up as one of you're celebrity crushes or fictional character crushes. he can't decide who would make you blush the most.

• walks around the grounds to watch the sunrise and look at the crisp orange leaves

• when halloween finally arrives, he's up early in the morning to get the both of you - you guessed it! pumpkin coffee and donuts

• by the time he's back you're already playing halloween tunes while you get ready

• he's of course attending fred weasley's halloween bash which you both heard is going to be close to epic

• by five o'clock sharp he's complimenting first years on their halloween costumes as they're off to trick or treat in hogsmede. he would go chaperone only if it weren't for the party

• cedric finally decided on johnny castle from dirty dancing since he knows how much you love the film. and of course, how beautiful you'd look in baby pink

• he's dancing with you the moment you walk into the party. no matter the song he's dancing and laughing with you the entire evening. (probably from all the donuts he ate and coffee he drank)

• he attempts to do the lift from the film which ends... differently. but nonetheless you had the time of your life (no pun intended) which is all he wanted

• "no fair, you ate that last piece!" eating butter beer fudge from honey dukes on the walk home

• ending the night in his halloween jumper lying in his bed and engulfing your entire body weight in candy corn

theo nott

• the party thrower

• the one who's most likely to get arrested for intoxication and just stupid ass things on halloween night

• that guy, he never had a date for halloween. so that's why everyone was so shocked when you start dating right before the spooky month.

• he started out the holiday month by taking you to a muggle haunted house, holding onto you the entire time so he wouldn't accidentally punch the workers

• "MERLINS BEARD THAT WAS AWESOME" every two seconds throughout the haunted house

• he wastes no time carving pumpkins with you a few days later "accio pumpkins!" "accio kniv- nevermind, that could've been a blood bath."

• theo carves the most innocent unhappy face on a pumpkin while you're is genius and looks incredible which only results in him talking about it in astonishment for hours

• it's two weeks before the party and he's already sending owls to every person in the universe it seemed, for party supplies

• "how many kegs is too many kegs? TRICK QUESTION THERES NEVER TOO MANY." "theo, someone's gonna die at your party."

• his guest list isn't just random hot people like it normally is. so many people give you glares in the hallway. which only makes theo wrap a protective arm around you and shoot a glare in their direction

• it's the day of the party and he's already stressing so of course you calm him down and make him breakfast. (well cast a spell at least)

• which he only gets two bites in before his friends burst through the door exclaiming how brilliant the party's going to be

• green lights dimmed the dungeon to make it even spookier for the party. he really went all out with the scariest stuff possible, there was even waiters who were dressed like butlers from a 1950s horror film

• gomez and morticia addams as the guest hosts felt right so he was more than delighted to see you standing beside him in a black dress he couldn't stop staring at

• and so the rager began.

• it was even more wild than you had anticipated

• you lost track of theo every five minutes, not really getting a chance to see him until the final hours of the party. which resided in the mid morning. which of course he still wasn't tired

• but by the time you both made it back to your dorm (his was occupied with blaise and a girl from the party) and took off your makeup and changed into something more comfortable, you were practically passed out in one another's arms.

• "happy halloween, baby."

blaise zabini

• blaise zabini is a halloween lover in SECRET.

• the month of october he seems disinterested. he likes that he can wear his turtlenecks now.

• and that his black coffee matches the gloomy weather.

• he can't be scared, no matter how many times you try. he always knows it's coming probably because theo tells him

• "i have to practice every chance i get this month, it's quidditch season. im sorry, baby." when you ask him to go do halloween activities with you.

• on halloween morning you cuddle against him while he reads you halloween classics, because of course he owns them all. specifically he chooses frankenstein because it's his absolute favorite. his mother read it to him growing up.

• he runs his free hand through your hair as you lay against his chest and listen to the soft sounds of him reading to you.

• blaise's dark room matches the thunderstorm outside the window. it only gives into the goth aspects of the holiday

• your face of shock is all worth it when he pulls out his red and green striped sweater and clawed hand.

• "FREDDY KREUGER?"

• he looks so good in his costume just like he does anything.

• the moment you arrive at the party he's heading to theo for drinks, leaving you to talk to enzo about how shocked you are blaise actually dressed up

• chocolate covered strawberries are his shit. the only unhealthy food he's eating but he uses the excuse of the holiday.

• he also uses the excuse of the holiday to buy you a crimson colored promise ring, that cost more than your house.

lorenzo berkshire

• "do you wanna go to a pumpkin patch?"

• he's the flannel and hoodie uniformed kind of guy in october. and you're not complaining.

• you watched casper on october 1st to start the mood and he became obsessed. you've never seen someone find something so cute before... except maybe you and him.

• enzo gave you his quidditch jersey for when there's not games to wear since the months are getting chillier. and god, is he proud to see you in it.

• he even said you could be a quidditch player for your costume

• he and draco dressed up when they were kids all the time and he'd always send a photo of his costume to his mother, who never responded. so he kind of despised the memory of halloween.

• you spent most of halloween day kept to yourselves in his dorm. watching muggle halloween thrillers with his friends for a few hours before theo's big party.

• you and enzo stayed together in his room a little longer than the others though, still stuck in a discussion on who's the best horror killer (the correct answer is obviously michael & jason)

• enzo showed up to the party as ferris bueller and you as sloan (or cameron). which is one of his favorite muggle movies

• you already know enzo has the best halloween mixtape made for you. billy idol, bowie, talking heads, the smiths, the cure, radiohead, etc. you feel like you're stuck in one of those slasher films.

• he takes you to a pumpkin patch, and to the shops in hogsmede to get you all the halloween candies.

• enzo never had a good halloween until he met you and now he has an amazing one<33

[sleepwalkersqueen]

(Ignore this post, it’s just fucking... headcanon fluff.)

- Let’s just imagine... what it’d be like, if Enji had been a wholesome dad!

[Calculating 16 years back in the canon: Enji was 30, Toya was 9, Keigo was 7 (Rumi was 11) ]

- Enji saved Keigo from an abusive home, but when the HPSC notices Keigo’s bloody potential and wants to buy him... Enji just - adopts Keigo.

- Rei was angry about his sudden desicion: Because they already had huge responsibility with their other children! - But then she saw the tiny malnourished child who just escaped the abuse, without a home or anyone to turn to- and her heart just snapped. 

- Tiny Keigo knew he wasn’t wanted, so he made himself smaller and bowed to her. - But Rei just fell to her knees and hugged him really, really close.

- Toya next to them was like: “Yeah... actually, I wanted a dog - but a bird’s fine too.”

- The whole family went shopping to buy a bunch of wing-fitted kid-clothes. Kei’s just happy to have clothes and’s still too shy to ask for anything specific so fucking Toya ends up deciding what he tries on. Fuyumi next to them is like: “Tou, That’s just black. There’s no color- Wait- I think thats a mini-skirt, what the- What do you want with the lipstick!?” - Enji has to bring half of the clothes back.

- Enji starts to read guidebooks about therapheutic parenting for Keigo, but ends up overwhelming all of his kids with love and attenttion. He talks with Keigo that its okay to cry when he feels like it, but Keigo still just swallows everything down and is scared to make noise.

- Rei and Enji made sure Keigo’d eat and sleep enough, helped him preening his wings and constantly reasurred him that his accidental lil chirps are nothing to be ashamed of.

- But in the first month, instead of playing with his new siblings, Keigo constantly helps with hard work in the house and gardens without getting asked and doesn’t stop until they tell him to. Toya asks him about it at night. Keigo admits that he loves this place more than anything and is horrified of being tossed out again, so he tries to be worth their money.

- Toya punches him (softly, with love) in the face and tells him that he’s part of the family, even if he’d burn down down their house.

- Keigo feels like a stone falling from his chest, but the fear just doesn’t go away. One day he helps Enji do the dishes and he breaks a plate. And his whole world just cracks with that plate. He’s starts trembling and is like- “You can hit me and all, but please don’t toss me out!”

- Toya heared that and he’s like :O And Enji’s like >:O

- And then Toya stares at his father, grabs a plate and smashes it to the floor so it breaks. He grabs Keigo’s hand and screams: “If you wanna punish Kei, you gotta punish me too!”.

- Enji just hugs both of them, holds them really close: “Kei, we won’t ever toss you out, we love you and you’re a Todoroki now. That was just an accident. And Tou- I’d never hurt one of you!” - Touya’s like: “I know, I just wanted to smash a plate”

- After that Enji takes a day off and they all just play in the gardens. And one moment, Keigo just stops and looks at them laughing about a really bad joke he just made and he thinks: “Woa, I’ve a family now!” And he’s so happy, he starts crying. It’s the first time he cried since a long time, and it’s because of joy.

- Enji isn’t the no. 2 hero, since he spends more time with Rei and his kids. So he moves between 2nd and 4th place in the rankings, but he really doesn’t care. 

- He is still a kinda-dick to the public, but he actually talks about his family, when you ask him about them. (”Yes, my family is way better than yours. Are you blind?” *Pulls a picture out of his wallet* “Just look at my amazing sons and this pure-hearted angle of a daughter. Now out of the way, my wife said I should grab milk on my way home.”) And when he comes home can’t but smile when he sees Rei and his kids. He is really proud of them.

- Enji helps Natsuo with his homework and he makes soba with Fuyumi, plays referee for a sparring-match between Keigo and Touya. But neither of them accepts their limits or defeat, escalateing their fight until it get’s so heated, that Enji has to put a end to it, because he can’t see his kids hurting each other like this. So he let’s them fight him instead, forcing them to team up, and even though he just fakes defeat, he sees their potential.

- The kids are super scared sometimes that he doesn’t make it home after a huge fight, but Enji always returns to read the bed-time story before giving good-night-hugs, So they don’t have nightmares.

- Shoto is born and he’s allowed to sleep in his parents bed. So the other siblings want the same and they fall asleep in a puppy-family-pile. Enji sleeps half on the floor that night.

- Natsuo sees in a TV documentary that male baby-chickens get often killed instandly after they hatch... And so he freaks out, cries and hugs Keigo, like wanting to protect him. - They need the whole night to reassure him, that Keigo is in fact, not a chicken.

- One day the kids should help move some boxes up the staircase to Enji’s study. - And Keigo’s is like: “We can do that later, right guys? Let’s go see what’s inside first, play with it and then try if we can make it look like we never opened it. That’ll be fun!”; And Toya’s like: “Fucking finally” - Inside were reports about unsolved crime cases in the city. Toya and Keigo talk about it the whole month. They decide that they wanna become heroes together. 

- Enji “trains” with Fuyumi, Natsuo, Toya and Keigo - But it’s actually just goofing around and playing villan-attack. (So they know what to do if someone tries to harm them, but he always watches so noone gets hurt.) Toya and Keigo are the only ones to take the play seriously, since they want to become heros for real.

- Enji tells Toya that there’s no need for him to become a hero, if he isn’t fitted for using his quirk. Toya thinks about this, but works out extremly reffined techniques where he uses his fire more defined to avoid burns.

- Toya and Keigo constantly fight about who’s the strongest. (But they are careful not to seriously hurt each other and instandly stop when the other is down. They also teamed up, when a guy in Natsu’s class stalked and tried to bully him. There isn’t much stronger in this world than their big-bro-insticts.)

- Natsuo always cares for their injuries and then Rei gives the two household chores as punishemt.... - And then they fight about who should do the dirtier work.

- Later they met Rumi hanging around in the dangerous parts of the playground and started a fight about a last soda-can. Rumi just obliterated both of them. (since she is 3/6 years older.)

- Toya and Keigo go to UA and both win the sportsfestival first place in their year. They sparr and work-out together with Rumi. They go to different agencies during their internship and try to out-do each other in solved cases.

- They were supposed to babysit Shoto once. The kitched burned.

- Toya becomes a top ranked hero and the todorokis have a big family dinner twice a week. They always cook together and everything is chaotic but in the good way. 

- Toya pierces Keigos ears, because Keigo lost a bet. They start a big fight about it on the stage of the Hero-billboard-charts, live on TV. (- But they do team ups on every big mission to keep their backs safe. They’d litterally die giving the other cover.)

- Enji always tries to get team-ups with Toya, but Toya always dodges. (Because it’s kinda fucking embrassing to work with your dad, who has your baby-pictures in his wallet.)

- They are super fucking happy and nothing will ever change that.

EDIT: If anyone feels like writing this into a fic or something... I’d kiss ya feet and read the crap outta that!

EDIT 2: Like, really man. I need that fluff.

[plaidbooks]

Hey 🥰 could I request working with Sonny and you two used to date but broke up, you remained friends but never really got over each other and your end up going through a pretty bad time with work or personal stuff and you’re struggling mentally and not eating etc and when he realises he comes over to your place to check ur ok and you just breakdown and he tells u he still loves u and that it’ll always be u 🥺

Some Space

A/N: I am so sorry that this took so long! I was so burnt out of writing, but I'm here now! I hope that this makes up for the wait!

This takes place before Sonny joins SVU--and his timeline is a little wonky to make this fic work, but oh well.

Tags: death, shootings, blood, disassociation

Words: 2590

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @redlipstickandplaid @reading--mermaid @dreamlover31 @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell

“So, do you wanna move in together?” Sonny asked while you cuddled on his couch. You turned to look at him, and his face fell as he saw your expression. “…you don’t?”

You sighed. “It’s not like I don’t love you, Sonny, because I do. It’s just…I mean, we’re still in our mid-20s. I want a little more, uh, freedom before I settle down, you know?”

“I’ve known since we started dating in high school that I was in for the long term. I was thinking of maybe…I don’t know, getting married…having kids…. Now that we’ve settled into patrol, I thought it would be the perfect time to take the next step,” he muttered.

You sat in silence, debating. You loved Sonny, and you did want to marry him…someday. Not right now. You’ve barely lived any of your life; hell, you lived at home still. Sonny had his own apartment, but you didn’t want to go from living with your parents to living with him. You wanted space, time to figure out who you really were. And you didn’t think you could do that with Sonny. If he couldn’t give you your independence, if you both wanted different things, then you were going to have to break up with him, as much as it would break your heart to do it.

“Listen, Sonny, I need to live my own life for a little bit, discover myself. I-it’s nothing wrong with you, I promise—”

“Are you breaking up with me?” he asked softly.

Hearing the words out loud made tears form in your eyes. “I…yes, I guess I am. At least until I find myself…. I’m so sorry, Sonny. I’ll always care about you. We can still be friends?”

“Y-yeah…okay, sure. I…yeah…” he trailed off, unwrapping his arms from around you. You both sat there awkwardly, and the tension was thick. You stood, moving to grab your jacket, and Sonny followed you to the front door.

“This isn’t…goodbye. I promise you, Sonny Carisi. It’s just—”

“See you later?” he finished.

You gave him a smile, and a kiss on the cheek. “Yeah. I’ll see you later.”

*****************************

That was months ago now, and you had transferred out of Staten Island patrol, unable to see Sonny every day, those big, sad blue eyes trying to avoid your gaze. Now, you worked for Brooklyn, an officer in their Homicide department. You settled in quickly, and you found a cheap-ish apartment in Brooklyn.

It was nice living by yourself, and you highly enjoyed it. You missed Sonny dearly, but you thought it was too soon to reach out. Your heart still strained when you thought about the breakup, so you kept your distance. But it was getting easier and easier to let those feelings fade away in your new line of work. Brooklyn Homicide was a lot busier than Staten patrol, and you got along great with your partner, Drew Zimmer.

“We keep making these busts, and we’re gonna make detective in no time,” Drew said, grinning at you.

You smiled back as you shoved a cuffed perp in the backseat of your squad car. “Then we get paid halfway decently for doing much of the same as we are now.”

“Plus, normal clothes! Not this suffocating police uniform.”

You agreed, then moved to the front seat, Drew sliding in behind the steering wheel. You and Drew were close, but you never crossed a line. He was engaged to his high school sweetheart, something that made you slightly sad. Sonny was your high school sweetheart, and you wondered how different your life would’ve been if you moved in with him.

*************************

As Drew predicted, you both made detective later that year. You were officially the youngest detective, having moved up the ranks so quickly. You both went out for drinks to celebrate, and you had the wild impulse to invite Sonny. It had been almost a year since you broke up, and you could finally think about it without tearing up. But would he be okay with it? You fought the idea, putting your phone back in your pocket.

“Everything okay?” Drew asked, seeing the look on your face.

You shot him a fake smile. “Fine, fine. Just…thinking. Don’t worry about it.”

He gave you a hard, knowing look, as if he could read your mind. You had told him about Sonny, but you didn’t want to bring the celebration down. Instead, you took your glass and cheers him before taking a sip.

You jumped when your phone rang, and you pulled it out of your pocket. Your Captain’s name flashed across the screen, and you answered with a brisk voice. Drew watched and listened, then sighed when you said that you were both on your way.

“What do we got?” he asked, putting money on the table and standing.

You pulled your jacket on, heading for the door. “Body found in Prospect Heights. You okay to drive?”

“Sober as a fox.”

*************************

You both showed up quickly, seeing the officers who called in the body. Drew parked, and you made your way over. One of the officers started walking you both through the details when a gunshot rang out from down the alley that the body was in. Instinct took over as you hid behind a wall of the building, grabbing the closest officer to you and pulling them with you. Gunshots echoed in the alleyway as someone—or someones—unloaded on the entrance to the alley.

Drew was on the other side of the alleyway, and one of the officers was flat on their back, blood leaking from a bullet hole in their head. You ordered the officer next to you to call for backup, then waited until the gunfire stopped. Taking a chance, you snuck a quick peak. There were three individuals at the end of the alley, making their way quickly towards you.

You motioned to Drew, letting him know, before you reached your hand around the corner, firing blindly in an attempt to at least slow their advance. With the cover fire, Drew came halfway around the wall, actually aiming his gun as he fired.

“You got one of them,” he informed you. He got a few shots off before a bullet went through his neck, knocking him off his feet.

“Drew!” you screamed before whipping around the wall, shooting with deadly precision. There was only one man still standing—Drew must’ve got one before going down—and you shot him quickly. Then you dropped to your knees by Drew’s rasping form. You ripped off your jacket, pressing it to the bloody wound.

“Stay with me Drew, do you hear me? You have a fiancée to go home to,” you ordered, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. “Call a bus!” you yelled at the officer, who was staring in shock.

Drew reached up, grabbing your wrist. “T-tell Steph I—I love her…please,” he gasped, voice weak.

“You’re going to tell her yourself when you see her, okay?” you said, trying to smile at him.

He shook his head. “Tell her…please. I-I—” Drew let out a death rattle before laying still.

“No! No! Live, damn you! You can’t die on me, Drew! W-we’re partners!” you screamed. But he was gone. Tears spilled down your cheeks as you leaned over him.

Time meant nothing as you knelt there. You had no idea when the ambulance arrived, nor when your Captain showed up. You’re not sure who moved you away from Drew’s lifeless body, and you didn’t notice how you ended up at the hospital. You were still covered in Drew’s blood as the nurses ran tests, making sure you were uninjured. Your Captain ordered you to take time off, and you didn’t hear him, didn’t argue. You blinked and you were home, sitting on your couch, a bottle of whiskey in front of you.

***************************

IAB had been delayed by your Captain, but eventually, you had to face them. You couldn’t recall what they asked, or what you answered. The first emotion you felt in days was fleeting anger; the body that you had been called to investigate was left as bait. The men who shot at you, who killed your partner and an officer, were part of a gang, attempting to become cop killers. It was all a ruse to kill whichever cops arrived on the scene. Drew, one of the nicest, most genuine people you’ve known, was killed for street cred. But your anger soon disappeared, just like everything else.

***************************

It had been a week since Drew died in your arms. You visited his fiancée—she had already been informed of her love’s death—but you had to see her, pass on his final words. You held her as she cried, but you had no tears left. You felt nothing; you were just a shell. You stopped eating, stopped showering, stopped drinking, even water. You stopped sleeping; you just passed out nowadays, at any and all times of the day, wherever you happened to be laying. Your Captain called you a few times, trying to get you into therapy, but you never left your apartment.

One night, there was a knock on your door. You moved on phantom feet, unlocking and pulling your door open. You felt a dull punch to the gut as Sonny stood on your doorstep.

“H-hey doll…. I heard about your partner, and I thought I’d check up on you,” he said softly.

You nodded, not even attempting to fake a smile. “I’m fine,” you said in a monotone voice, ready to close the door on him. But Sonny was quicker.

“No, you’re not.” And with that, he pushed into your home. “When was the last time you’ve eaten? Washed? Brushed your teeth? Anything?”

You had no answer for him, and he quickly went to your kitchen, pulling open your fridge. Normally, you’d follow him, but instead, you went and collapsed on your couch, your legs unable to hold you up anymore.

Sonny came out with a glass of water. “Drink that,” he ordered, then stood there until you did. “Most of your food has gone bad; I’m going to run to the store. While I’m gone, I want you to shower, okay?”

You didn’t nod, made no indication that you had heard him. He ran a hand through his hair, hating seeing you like this.

“Okay…if you can shower, please do. Otherwise, just at least…drink another glass of water, okay?” He took the glass from your hand, refilled it, then came back and handed it to you. “I’ll be right back.”

You were unsure for how long he was gone; you dimly heard him come back. Sonny went to your kitchen with full grocery bags, and soon, the sounds and smells of cooking emanated from within. He came out soon after—or maybe it was longer, who knows?—with a plate of food.

When he noticed the full glass of water in your hand still, he shook his head, then sat next to you. You didn’t fight him as he fed you small bites, nor as he raised the glass of water to your lips. You tasted nothing as you ate half the plate. Sonny was afraid to make you sick with too much food at once, so he put the rest back in the kitchen. Then, he pulled you to the bathroom. He undressed you, then himself, before guiding you into the shower. The hot water brought you partly to your senses, just enough to feel Sonny’s hands washing your hair and body.

“You may have to get your hair cut short—it’s pretty damaged from lack of care,” he muttered, trying to work the knots out with his fingers. You nodded gently, letting him care for you. Once done, he wrapped you in a towel, patting you dry. Then, he took your toothbrush and put paste on it before handing it to you, lifting your hand to your mouth.

“Brush,” he softly ordered, and you did.

After finishing up in the bathroom, Sonny tugged you to your room, where he dressed you in your pajamas. Then he pushed you down into the bed.

“Sleep, okay? I’ll stay here with you until you fall asleep,” he promised.

You laid on the pillow, and fresh tears came to your eyes. “He died in my arms,” you muttered.

Sonny’s expression softened. “I heard, doll. There was nothing more you could’ve done. Just rest now.”

As promised, he sat next to you until you drifted off, your hand in his.

*******************************

Sonny practically moved in with you after that, just until you could take care of yourself. He took you to a therapist, and a hair salon. He made you meals and made sure you drank water. At first, he would shower with you and made sure you brushed your teeth; those were the two things you started doing yourself the quickest. It took you a few weeks to break out of the shock-induced disassociation you were experiencing. Eventually, you started helping Sonny cook in your kitchen, and doing small chores around your apartment.

“Thank you, Sonny, for everything,” you said one night while you were eating dinner.

He smiled at you. “Of course, doll. I care about you.”

“I care about you, too. I—I should’ve called you earlier. I was just afraid that it was too soon.”

His smile faltered slightly. “I understand. I…it’s probably still too soon….”

“What do you mean?”

Sonny put his fork down, looking everywhere but at you. “Look, I’ve…I thought that enough time had passed, especially when I heard about your partner—” you flinched at the mention of Drew— “but when you opened the door and I saw how much it affected you, I realized that…I still love you, have always loved you. You were literally wasting away, and I couldn’t stand by and watch.”

You froze, not in shock at him, but at yourself. Because hearing the words out loud, you knew that you loved him, too.

“I’m sorry; you don’t need this right now. The last thing you need on your mind is—”

“I love you, too, Sonny. God, I love you so much,” you replied, throwing your arms around him, and leaning against his side.

He hesitated a moment before he wrapped an arm around your back. “Are ya sure? You’re going through some pretty traumatic stuff right now. Your emotions going a little haywire.”

“I’m sure. I-I was afraid to call you because I couldn’t handle seeing you. Because I never got over you.”

Sonny nodded. “I never got over you, either. Look, if you still want your space, I can live with that, as long as I don’t lose you again. I never want to lose you again.”

“I don’t want to lose you, either. I love you; I want to marry you one day. Let’s just…see how it goes, okay? I’ve learned a lot just in the year we’ve been apart—”

He cut you off with a kiss, his lips soft against yours. He felt so familiar, so much like home, and you realized how much you had really missed him. You kissed him back, holding him to you. He leaned his forehead against yours, lips brushing over yours.

“We’ll figure out the details later. Right now, I just want to get to know you again,” he breathed.

You nodded. “Please, yes. I want to remember you, Dominick.”

He pulled you closer, promising his whole self to you in a searing kiss.

[starlightxsvt]

Fated

Pairing: Seungcheol x female reader

Genre: mafia/gang au, exes to lovers, action, slight smut

Warnings: cursing, fighting and stuff

A/N: Happy Seungcheol Day everyone! This is for our birthday boy~ I tried to keep it short but it got outta hand so whoops, strap in for the ride. Also, I'll really appreciate it if you took a minute to let me know what you thought about this cuz this took me a looot of time to write and my eyes and hands hurt really bad. Anyway enjoy!

Never in a hundred years did you expect to meet Seungcheol in the club your cousin had invited you all to. She had just returned from abroad and her wedding was taking place the next week hence it was a long awaited get together. Of course she had arranged it in one of the finest clubs in the city, the one you always wanted to visit but your regular plain desk job couldn't really afford.

You first took notice of Seungcheol when you were on your way back from the restroom, him sitting in the back, more secluded area of the club with a glass of whiskey in his hand. His eyes met yours and they went wide like saucers, a look of displease crossing his face, a rather exaggerated expression - you thought. Sure, you two were exes and went through a salty breakup but his expression was rude and brought back unwanted, sad memories. You contemplated on talking to him but he saved you from that. Standing up in a flash, he walked over to you and hissed, "What are you doing here?" His tone made your blood boil and your initial thoughts of being polite to him went down the drain, "Gee, Mr. Choi, I know I'm not someone your worthy but this is a public place and you don't own it!" You snapped at him. His eyes turned dark as he clenched his teeth and spoke, "For fucks sake, what the fuck are you doing here?" His eyes raked over your body covered in a snug deep wine colored dress.

"I'm here for shopping. Why the fuck would I be here Seungcheol?" You spat, clearly annoyed by his behaviour. Seungcheol let out a frustrated sigh, hands combing through his hair as he muttered curses under his breath.

"Listen, you shouldn't be here, Y/n", he spoke trying to calm down and held your arms. "Woah there, Choi, get your hands off me. Who are you to tell me where I should or should not be?"

Seungcheol looked like he could punch someone as he clenched his jaw tight and gave you a look that made your knees weak, "I'm not fucking around, Y/n, you should not be here."

"What the hell Seungcheol? What is your problem? I'm here to attend my cousin's party. And for the record, we're not together anymore so stop interfering in my life."

Seungcheol opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by one of the suited men behind him who murmured something in his ear that only seemed to infuriate him. He turned towards you, "You- fuck, you should not be here. A deal is gonna go down here."

It took you a couple seconds to put two and two together and a sudden wave of agitation passed through you. You whispered, "You're kidding, right?"

Seungcheol was no ordinary man. He was tenacious and confident- too confident for someone who regularly killed people and ran his underworld business. You figured it out during the time you two were together and you didn't try to dig further for your own good.

"You have no idea what-" Seungcheol was interrupted when one of your cousins appeared out of the blue, "Hey Y/n! Where have you-" her voice trailed off when she saw you with Seungcheol and a smirk appeared on her face, "Oops, sorry, I'll leave you two to it." And as quickly as her came, she left, leaving a panicked you and an outraged Seungcheol. "Can you please explain what's going on?" You whispered to Seungcheol in hope of some enlightenment.

"They got Chan, okay? These mother fucking group of traffickers got Chan and asked for a ransom. They're now here for the money."

Oh no. Your heart sank at the mention of Chan's kidnapping, Seungcheol's younger brother. He was always a pleasure to spend time with when Seungcheol left for business for a long time. "That's bad," is all you could mumble as your mushed brain tried to decipher the situation. "Are you gonna give them the money?" Seungcheol scoffed, "Of course not. Those fuckers are long due for jail. Once I get Chan we're gonna blow out their brains."

You gulped. " It's too late to leave for us right?"

"Yes," Seungcheol replied, his lips forming a thin line. He looked past you, probably towards the entry of the bar and quickly shoved you away, "Go to your friends and stay put. When the firing starts hide behind the counter. Only try leave if there's no firing. Otherwise stay put, you hear me?" You nodded your head robotically, mind racing a mile a minute as you walked back to your cousins, trying to appear calm. Every nerve on your body was alert and goosebumps rose on your skin as you watched a man in a flashy white suit walk up to Seungcheol and his guards, followed by a disheveled looking Chan. You felt bad for him, seeing his normally lit face etched with exhaustion. You ignored the comments your cousins made about you and Seungcheol, waiting for things to start. You carefully looked over to the entrance of the bar and sure enough two tall men stood over there. You really had no way out.

And as expected, all of a sudden, loud gunfires echoed through the room followed by people screaming as you and your cousins quickly took shelter behind the bar counter.

"Oh my god what the fuck is happening?"

"Y/n what the hell is your ex doing?"

"You never told us he's a gangster or shit."

You ignored your cousins rather untimely interrogations thinking of a way out. The bar was a mess, broken glass pieces everywhere, the people who came to enjoy all crouched down covering their heads. You heard continuous gunfires, people groaning and bodies slumping on the floor which only made your cousins voice their panic more.

"Shit we're gonna die."

"My wedding is next week, fuck."

Your eyes peered over to the entrance which was now not occupied by any threating looking men as they were busy fighting. You all could've gotten out if it weren't for the continuous firings.

You and your cousins held your breath for a few moments until a particularly loud firing was heard followed by the sound of breaking glass. You spied from behind the counter to see Seungcheol dropping down on the floor with a groan and Chan's scream of his brother's name.

Shit. Seungcheol was shot.

Chan seemed furious, no more exhaustion on his face as he lunged for the man in the flashy white suit and hitting him square in the jaw.

"Guys, now's the chance, get out of here. Go, go."

"What the fuck Y/n? Don't tell me you're gonna stay here."

"We're not leaving you to die in the middle of a crossfire."

"No, guys, I'll be fine. Seungcheol's shot."

"What? I thought you guys weren't a thing anymore-"

"Please, get your asses outta here if you don't wanna die."

Despite their will you pushed your cousins towards the exit with a promise of calling them as soon as you could, while they called you names to point out your less than smart decision and of course your never leaving feelings for Seungcheol. As soon as they were out the door, you rushed over to Seungcheol who sat against the wall, jaw clenched as he held onto his shoulder.

"Y/n what the fuck? Get out of here- why the fuck- ugh, dammit."

"You're shot Seungcheol, maybe stop talking" You applied pressure to his bloody shoulder while Chan who sat atop of the man in the flashy white suit and twisted both his hands back and gave you an incredulous look, "Y/n? Wha- uhm, I thought- you two broke up...?"

"Uh...it's a.... coincidence, I guess. I think we need to get your brother to a doctor, you know" You murmured.

"Yea right," Chan agreed and handed his hostage over to Seungcheol's guard not before punching him in the lower stomach. "I'd kill you but that'd be a mercy. You deserve to suffer, you son of a bitch."

He helped Seungcheol to stand up with you as you both gently took him out of the club and into his limousine, all the while Seungcheol saying that he was alright.

The car ride to his place was quick but silent, except Chan who sat beside the driver once spoke to let you know that it was good to see you. Seungcheol rested his head on your shoulder as he let out uneven breathes and you applied pressure to his wound.

"I guess you... really... can't escape...fate, huh?" He whispered and you frowned at him. "What do you mean?" You asked him but he only replied with a chuckle, his body getting heavier against yours. Your heart ached for the man. You were never over him, you knew that deep down. Hell, your cat even knew that.

Seeing Seungcheol's large mansion again brought back sad memories but you couldn't really focus on them. His servants rushed Seungcheol into the small infirmary of the house where a doctor was waiting.

You stayed outside, anxiously tapping your foot against the marbled floor while quickly typing a message to your cousin letting her know you were okay before putting your phone on mute.

The family doctor appeared with good news, saying his wound wasn't that bad and only a few stitches had it covered. While Seungcheol was transferred to his bedroom, Chan called you to the large dining hall to offer you a glass of water.

"Are you gonna stay the night? Should I set up a room for you?"

"Uh, um, no maybe I'll stay by Seungcheol's side," you replied, avoiding eye contact.

"Sure," was all he said as a smirk took over his lips. We're you really that obvious?

It was past 12 when you decided to peek into Seungcheol's room, after you stole a pair of night suit from his closet which was uncomfortably large for you. You sat by his bed, taking in the way he looked while sleeping. His injured shoulder was casted in a sling and his hand rested over his naked chest. Small scratches were painted over his chiseled face and you lightly stroked them. You relished the bittersweet memories you had with him in this room, from all the romantic nights to the fights. Before you knew, you were asleep.

You woke up to Seungcheol's hand softly stroking your cheek. Your eyes met his and warmth spread on your cheeks. You looked at the clock. It was almost four.

"How do you feel?" You croaked, sitting up from the stool by his bed.

"I'm good." Seungcheol was a strong man. You knew his body had gone through a lot and judging by how he looked, you took his word for it.

"You stayed," he whispered. His face was illuminated by the moonlight coming from the open balcony doors, the face of an angel. You only nodded, transfixed by his beauty, hoping he couldn't see your embarrassed face. "What did you mean by that? The thing you said in the car," you spoke and Seungcheol carefully sat up. He sighed and leaned against the headboard before meeting your eyes. He looked...pained. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I never broke up with you because you weren't enough. You were more than anything I ever wanted. I broke up with you because...I was...scared." He swallowed. "Things were not really going according to my plan back then and...this mother fucking gang was threating to harm you. I... couldn't let that happen, Y/n, so...I broke up with you."

You stare at him, incredulous. "You...you have some serious issues, Choi Seungcheol." You whispered. Seungcheol chuckled softly, " You- you mean the world to me. I was so scared something would happen to you if you stayed with me. I know I made an awful decision and I said awful things to you-"

"No shit, Seungcheol, your words weren't exactly the most helpful for my already insecure self." You spat.

"I know, and I'm so, so sorry." He sighed, his head dropping down, "What happened yesterday only proved that I really can't escape fate."

"So you are saying we are fated to be together?"

"Aren't we? I mean, look at us."

You laughed softly before saying, "I'm still mad at you, you know." Seungcheol smiled at you as he took your hand and planted a soft kiss, "You can take out all your anger on me if that means you're gonna give me another chance."

"I'll...have to think about it," was your reply even though you knew your answer. "That's great. That's more than I deserve." Seungcheol mumbled. "Can I hold you?" He softly asked. You scooted closer to him, careful to avoid his injured shoulder as he passed his other hand around your waist. His faces inches away from you, he spoke, "You are the most beautiful thing that happened to me, Y/n and I'm sorry I let you down like that. I promise you, if you give me another chance I'll make it all up to you. I'll make you the happiest woman alive. Come back to me, baby."

You gulped feeling emotional as you replied, "Okay but you need to get well first you know." Seungcheol's eyes bored into yours, his chocolate orbs getting more intense by the seconds before he pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was soft and short before he pulled back to assess your reaction. When you didn't resist, he pulled you in for a messy, hot kiss that left tingles all over your body. Before you knew it, you were in his lap, tugging at his hair as he nipped across your neck and shoulders. There was no way this wasn't gonna end up with you underneath him if you didn't stop him. "Seungcheol...stop it. You're hurt."

"I could have half of my body ripped open and still not resist you baby, you are divine."

"Uhm, that's concerning but okay. Why don't we get some sleep now?" You pulled back from him and a pout took over his face.

"You are seriously not thinking about having sex right now, are you?"

"Why not? It has been so long and I miss you."

"I get it horny boy but no. How about we cuddle now and when you are fully healed you can keep me in your bed all day."

A devilish smirk took over his face that made you squirm, "Is that a promise sweetheart?"

You nodded shyly before gently lying on his uninjured arm and wrapping a hand around his torso. Damn, it felt good.

Seungcheol kissed the top of your head as you snuggled closer. He whispered, "Promise me you'll stay."

"I will," you smiled.

"Unless my cousins find my location and drag me out of here tomorrow."

[the-hopeless-haze]

A Dwindling, Mercurial High

Pairing: Elliot Stabler/reader

A/N: Okay so I had a dream about Stabler the other night and he’s my original SVU crush (sorry Barba) and I had “Illicit Affairs” stuck in my head the whole day after so I had to write this. Thank you to @caked-crusader​ and @detective-giggles​ for encouraging my insanity lol!

Content Warning: NSFW due to sex. Brief mentions of cases that Elliot is working on. Infidelity.

The first time you met Elliot, it was because Dickie had a bad asthma attack and had to be hospitalized overnight. You were fresh out of nursing school, more anxious than confident, and it was a night from hell in that pediatric ward, maybe the worst you’d seen in the couple months since you’d started working. The charge nurse could only start one thing before she was asked to help with something else, two nurses called out and only one could cover, and everyone had at least a three-patient assignment. Suffice it to say tensions were high on that floor, and because Dickie wasn’t the sickest of your patients, you didn’t get to see him as often as you should have. Doing your best felt akin to doing nothing, and every time you came in the room, you apologized you hadn’t been able to come in fifteen minutes ago.

Elliot and Kathy told you it was okay and that they’d been through this before and knew what to expect. But it wasn’t really okay, you knew that. No one wanted to think that their nurse was too busy taking care of other sick children to pay attention to theirs.

Needless to say, you were far too busy that night to pay much attention to Elliot that night, but it wouldn’t be the last time you saw him, so maybe it didn’t matter. Still, sometimes you want to remember that glance that started everything because you have so little to hold onto.

You nearly have a heart attack the next week when your nurse manager says an NYPD detective needs to speak with you, and you nearly have another when you see Elliot’s face. You’ll remember the glance vividly this time; you look down at the linoleum hospital floor before finally sweeping your eyes across his face. He’s not mad; you can tell he’s the kind of man who’d let you know if he was angry, so you try to still your shaking hands.

“I just wanted to let you know Dickie’s doing a lot better,” he says, the hint of a smile on his lips. “Thank you.”

“Um, you’re welcome. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been more help—"

“Don’t beat yourself up, kid. It was a madhouse in here that night. Besides, I know it was you who got the doctor to switch his meds. They’re working a lot better now. He can actually sleep through the night.”

“Well, that’s great!” you say brightly, genuinely feeling a lot better about that night now. “Did you really come out all this way just to tell me?”

He chuckles, shakes his head. “No. I’m working. Victim’s getting a rape kit done here, so I thought I’d see if I could find you while I wait.”

“Oh,” you say, your eyes widening. “What unit do you work on?”

“Special Victims. I’d say I hope I see you around, but I really don’t want my work to bring me to this floor.”

“Me neither. I sincerely hope I never see you again,” you say, smiling, and he smiles back, claps you on the shoulder and thanks you again before leaving.

“He was hot,” Tammy, your best friend on the ward, says as she comes over. “And he came back to see you. Maybe you should ask him out?”

“Well, he’s married,” you laugh. “All the DILFs are. Wives don’t wanna let that go.”

And you really thought that was that. You did have your fair share of DILFs come through that floor, and on slower shifts you’d fantasize about what it would be like to be the other woman, especially when couples would argue to the point of tears. Sure, tensions were always high when children were ill, but those screaming matches were always the result of a more systemic issue within their relationship. Some marriages were destined to fall apart, and sometimes it was exhilarating to dream about being the catalyst, even if you’d never actually act on it. No harm done in imagining yourself with a man you’d only see once in your life.

But you’d see Elliot again in a few months when his job did in fact bring him to your floor. He’s accompanied by a brunette woman, who you later learn is his partner, Olivia. You have no idea how they do their jobs. Sick kids you could handle, but children that had been abused, that were put into that hospital bed, not by the hands of a virus or disease process but by the hands of an adult... it was enough to turn your stomach. But now, at least, you had a direct line to call whenever you thought something iffy was going on between a family, as Elliot gave you his card. He said he trusts your judgment. You tried to suppress your heart fluttering. You’re too young to be having palpitations, but you can’t help staring at him longingly the whole time he’s there talking to the doctor, and you hope neither he nor Olivia notices. He just cared so much, and there’s nothing that gets the ovaries into action like seeing a man that protective over children.

You have to realize, though, that he was just being nice, and he just wanted another set of eyes out there to make sure no one got away with hurting children. You were all too happy to fill that role, anyway. It was a noble one. It had nothing to do with you specifically, and you had to be okay with that.

But fate is a funny thing, because even though you dated around throughout the next couple years, even though you had plenty of other things to occupy your time... Elliot always came back into your life somehow. Just when you thought you forgot about him, it seemed like he was waltzing onto your floor, or, god forbid, there was a child’s family you wanted him to speak to and make sure was alright.

Most times he came empty-handed and almost every time he came with Olivia, but on occasion, he’d show up by himself and with two coffees. And you grew up a little in those couple of years, even if you never grew past harboring your little crush on Elliot. You lost your anxiety that came with being a fledgling nurse and enrolled in a nurse practitioner program. You had your heart broken a few times and you broke a few hearts of your own. You moved out of your parent’s apartment and got your own place.

As for Elliot? Those years didn’t treat him as kindly. He wasn’t growing up as much as he was going down. Kathy wanted to leave him, he felt like he was losing touch with his kids, and his career path only fueled the anger that gnawed at him day after day and night after night. How the hell did his life get this fucked?

Of course, you weren’t privy to this information until he punched a hospital wall. It was a long night, and one of the children he rode on the ambulance with didn’t make it. You were upset, too, of course, even though he wasn’t your patient, and you couldn’t wait to get out of here and cry over a bottle of wine. But when Elliot’s fist connected with the wall, you knew your night was going to end much differently.

“(Y/n)! Are you busy? I need you to take your cop friend out of here. We don’t want the parents seeing that. Go! Clean up his hand and make sure he’s billed for that wall,” the doctor barks at you. “You gonna move?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on it, Doc,” you murmur, but you’re frozen in place at the nurse’s station. You can’t help staring at Elliot as he steps out of the room, with his chest heaving, his hand bloodied, his blue eyes ablaze. Eventually, your legs cooperate with you again, and you nod at him, motioning for him to follow you down the hallway. You grab some gauze and alcohol from the supply closet on the way and lead him into an empty room, taking his hand in yours. “Can you make a fist for me? I need to see if it’s broken.”

Elliot doesn’t say anything; he barely even looks at you, but he does as you ask.

“Okay. Good. You're just gonna be a little sore. You can relax it now. The alcohol is going to sting—“

“I know,” he says hollowly.

“I’m sorry. You’re the oldest patient I’ve had since I was in school,” you say, feeling your face flush as you grab the alcohol and wipe his knuckles. "This isn't the first time you've attacked a wall, then, hm?"

Elliot shoots you a withering look and you swallow thickly. Was he going to yell at you now? Thankfully, he sighs and the anger in his eyes fades. "Listen. I'm sorry you had to be here for that.”

"It's alright. I've seen worse. And I know it's tough, Elliot," you say. "Everyone handles grief differently."

"It ever get any easier for you?"

"No," you whisper, letting your hair fall in front of your eyes so he can't see them well up with tears as you lean over to bandage his hand. "Guess it never does. I don't get angry; I just get depressed. You don't want to get desensitized to it, though. I'd rather see people punch walls than not care."

Your breath catches in your throat as he pushes your hair back with his good hand, and he keeps it there on the side of your cheek. All this time, in the four years of knowing this man, and he'd never touched you like this. Come to think of it, you never exactly stood this close to him, either. Your relationship was always professional, despite all the times you wished it wasn't. Wasn't there a reason you two kept ending up in the same rooms? Wasn't there a reason you ended up in this one, alone? And you could get drunk off his scent, couldn’t you? The slight musk of sweat from his earlier exertion, the woodsy headiness of his cologne, the hint of spearmint on his breath from his mouthwash... it was all too much, and it’s all you have in you to not lean into his touch, to not lean over and press your mouth to his...

“Elliot—“

"Don't talk," he murmurs. "Unless you want to stop me. Do you?”

You wouldn’t dare.

When your lips finally do connect, it's electric, even though the only thing running through the back of your mind is how you'd probably be fired if anyone stepped into the room at this moment. You can't very well deny yourself what you've been wanting on and off for years, though, even if it’s wrong. His hands grab your waist and yours find purchase on his shoulders, feeling the muscles flex underneath you as he moves you to straddle his thigh. You have to try very hard not to search for that friction your whole body aches for, not yet, not when you don’t know how far he wants to take this and when you’re still on the clock.

“When do you get off?” he asks, and you both chuckle at the unintended double-entendre.

“At eleven.”

“Come have a drink with me.”

“I don’t want a drink. I want to continue this,” you purr, getting off his lap to fix the bandage and tape it down.

“You sure?”

“Elliot, I thought you’d never ask me. I would’ve been sure four years ago,” you say, feeling slightly guilty at that, but it was true. The more you saw of him without his wife and children the easier it was to forget that they were the reason you met him in the first place. And if at any time he kissed you like that? You know you’d be putty in his hands just like you were now. “You don’t need to go back to the precinct?” You don’t dare ask about home. Selfishly, you don’t want that to cross his mind.

“I’ll be back here by eleven.”

It’s another breathless kiss before you’re out the door, heading back to finish your shift.

“The hell are you all red for, (y/n)?” Tammy asks as you round the corner.

“Nothing,” you say. “Just ran up here. You need anything?”

“Ran up here? Weren’t you taking care of... oh. You’re playing with fire, girl,” she says, smirking.

“Shut up,” you say, but you can’t force your cheeks to cool down. “Nothing happened.”

“Mm. Be careful. He’s still married, isn’t he?”

You wouldn’t listen. You were only after chasing that high, even if it was only born to die in front of your eyes. —- You’re straining against your handcuffs, and you can’t see Elliot at all through the blindfold, but you can feel his hands and his mouth, hot and heavy, touching you everywhere. You have no clue where to focus, and you still can’t quite believe he’s here in your apartment. Part of you expected him to stand you up and realize that he should be going home instead of taking you to bed. But he either didn’t have that epiphany or he didn’t care - and you were desperate enough for him that you’d take either - and so began your first illicit meeting.

“I told you to stop pulling at those, baby,” Elliot says, his tone stern. “You’re going to make yourself bleed.”

“Maybe if you gave me what I wanted, I wouldn’t have to—“

He cuts you off with a firm kiss, and you can feel his cock hard against your thigh, and not being able to see only heightens the sensation. “You gonna give me attitude, baby? I don’t think so. Why don’t you relax? I’m gonna take care of you. Gonna take my time though. Been four years of seeing your ass in those tight scrubs and not being able to do fucking anything about it.”

“You noticed me…. Like that?”

“You think I’d be here if I didn’t? Don’t act innocent now. You know what you do to me.”

Of course, you had noticed him looking at you sometimes, but you never let yourself read into it, but now, everything was coming back to you and… oh, fuck, finally he slips two fingers into your entrance and you’re drawn out of your thoughts, arching your back as he drags his fingers across your walls, painstakingly slow.

“You’re fucking soaking, baby girl,” he grunts. “You think you can take three? Mm. Gonna stretch you out a little.”

His bandaged hand comes to still your hips and you can’t believe he’s fucking you this good with his non-dominant hand, his thumb flicking against your clit every so often, those little shocks of pleasure bringing you closer to the million little deaths you deserved. Sometimes you’d feel his mouth where you’d least expect it, too, his tongue licking a trail up your stomach to take your nipple in his mouth or his teeth and tongue working on leaving a mark on your collarbone.

“Please. So close, El,” you pant, rolling your hips in vain.

“That’s it, that’s it, that’s it, come on, let go, baby,” Elliot growls in your ear. “Just let go.”

And you do, falling apart with his name on your lips before he kisses you again, swallowing down all your moans and whimpers, his hands leaving your lower body to find purchase in your hair.

“You good?” he asks, barely pulling away from your mouth.

“So good,” you gasp, straining upward to press your lips to his again.

“Gonna fuck you now, baby, that okay?”

“More than okay.”

You’re so wet he doesn’t meet much resistance, but you’re still sensitive from your orgasm so soon before, and combined with the fact that you can’t see or touch him - it was almost too much at once.

“Oh fucking hell,” Elliot grunts. “You good?”

“Yes. Please start fucking moving,” you whine. “Fuck me hard.”

You can tell he needs that; he needs to let go of all his pent-up anger and frustration, and you didn’t really care if at the expense of that you couldn’t walk tomorrow. You’d do anything, anything for just the chance to occupy a sliver of his life.

And God, once given permission, he doesn’t hold back at all. He sets a brutal pace, the bed shaking and moving in tandem with the force of his thrusts. You can’t see him, obviously, but you can feel the weight on the bed shift and his angle change as he grips the headboard, driving into you so roughly you think you might black out. He starts grunting softly with every thrust, and then, oh - you feel him move back down, his lips catching yours and his hands cupping your breasts and it’s all you can do to fight with your body not to come yet; you want to come with him, experience this high together.

“Fuck, (y/n), so good,” he groans, his tongue running over the bruise he’d sucked onto your skin earlier, and you whimper in response. “So fucking good for me, taking my cock so good. Knew you’d be fucking amazing.”

If his dirty talk wasn’t enough to send you over the edge, well, he adjusts his angle with a particularly strong thrust of his hips and you’re pulling on the handcuffs again, the sting as they slice into your wrists a sharp contrast to the impending pleasure - if you could just hold on - and thankfully, Elliot’s panting brusquely in your ear that he’s close, that you should let go again. Coming together is a beautiful euphoria - one that was desperately needed after the night you had, after the four years of longing stares that neither of you, apparently, knew was reciprocated until now. But like the end of all highs, you have to come down at some point. Elliot lifts the blindfold and looking into his eyes for the first time since he stripped you naked, you can’t help but feel like a fucking mess. But you know you’d do it again, and again, and again...

“I told you not to pull at those,” he tsks, leaning over to unlock the handcuffs and free your wrists. “You’re bleeding, (y/n).”

And, like some bad deja vu, Elliot’s cleaning your wounds with alcohol like you did for him only hours prior.

And after, he stays and talks with you a little, mentions vaguely his marriage is going downhill, which you could have easily figured out yourself, and when you wake up in the morning, he’s gone without a trace. You had to expect that he couldn’t stay, and you wonder what lie he fed his wife. You wonder if she believed it. Was this just a one time thing? Maybe you just both needed to get this out of your system, as almost half a decade of sexual tension needed to be dealt with somehow.

But no. Like always, you see him again, and on most occasions, now, he ends up tangled in your bedsheets. It feels like you’re always competing with other women for Elliot’s attention, whether it be Kathy or Olivia. But you take solace in the fact that you’re the only one he’s going to fuck like this. Olivia’s his partner, and that relationship is already too close for comfort to bring sex into. And if he came home with handcuffs and a blindfold to his wife, she’d drag his ass to therapy. You’re the only woman in his life that he can use for this, and that thought alone could get you high, could get you off. And sometimes, that feels like all he’s using you for, a sense of release for the moments when he doesn’t want to be at home and he can’t be at work. But other times - he lets you in, tells you jokes, tells you stories - and in some ways you’ve never felt this close to another person. He played such a different role in all the other areas of his life - but with you - he didn't have to play one, and sometimes you caught a glimpse of the man he was before all his burdens were placed onto his shoulders. You know you’ll never have a relationship like this with anyone else.

And for that reason, you’ll always answer the phone when he calls, even if you ruin yourself every time. You would for him. You always would for him.

[tickleraptorss]

Rise and Shine, Princess

Based on the “Rise and Shine” cutscene from the FFXV demo. Noctis is known to have trouble getting out of bed, so he gets a little help from his boyfriends.

a/n: hiiii what can i say i’m a sucker for wake-up tickles and noctis is a sleepy baby man so i couldn’t resist. anyways here is fic.

Noctis was many things, and his boyfriends knew he had many qualities. He was a picky-eater, a well-trained fighter, and a bit lazy at times. Noctis wasn’t perfect, and at the time being he didn’t have to be. The habit of picking vegetables off his plate? The boys found that somewhat endearing (except for Ignis, of course, who considered it quite a hassle). They were constantly impressed with Noctis’ fighting skills, and despite Noctis’ flaws, his boyfriends loved him dearly.

However, there was one thing that proved to be a bit more tedious than Noctis’ other traits.

His stubbornness when it came to sleep. 

They all knew this, Noctis had been like this since he was a kid. Ignis remembers having to drag him out of bed. Gladio remembers trying to convince a very sleepy prince to train with him. Prompto remembers seeing Noctis fall asleep in class when the lesson wasn’t very exciting. It’d always been a problem, and while they could all admit that Noctis was quite cute when he slept, getting him out of bed was another story.

Ignis, as per usual, was awake before the alarm had even gone off. He’d always woken up early to prepare breakfast for everyone. When the alarm went off, Prompto was the first one awake, groaning and sitting up to face Ignis.

“G’morning,” Prompto mumbled, shielding his eyes from the daylight peeking into the tent.

“Morning,” Gladio was up next. 

The three boys looked over at Noctis, who was still curled up in his sleeping bag. Ignis put the alarm closer to the sleeping prince, hoping that would motivate him.

It did not.

“C’mooon Noct! Wake up!” Prompto pestered. “We can’t get moving if you don’t get moving!” 

“Prompto’s right, Noct,” Ignis shook Noctis’ shoulder gently. “I know you can hear us.”

Noctis proceeded to groan in response, further curling up in his cocoon. He put his pillow over his head and mumbled something into it. 

“You’ll have to speak up, Your Highness,” Gladio chuckled. “We can’t hear you.”

“Five more minutes...” The prince repeated, this time removing his face from the pillow. 

“You say that every day!” Prompto complained, and he wasn’t wrong, either. Noctis always asked for extra time to sleep, especially when they had someplace to be. “Don’t you wanna get the car fixed?”

No response. 

“Noct, we’ve gotta get moving. Here, I’ll help you up,” Gladio pulled on Noctis’ sleeping bag.

Again, no response.

If anything, it only made Noctis bury himself deeper into his warm sleeping bag. Prompto and Gladio looked at each other, and then looked over at Ignis. They watched as Ignis shuffled towards the sleeping prince.

“Noct, if you don’t get up, I’ll have to make you,” said Ignis. Prompto and Gladio exchanged glances, before looking back at Ignis. 

Noctis simply grunted in response. 

Rolling his eyes, Ignis reached his hand underneath Noctis’ sleeping bag and located his neck. Upon contact, he felt the prince shudder.

Ah yes, another thing that the boys adored about Noctis. Something no one would’ve ever guessed from his outside demeanour.

Noctis was extremely ticklish.  

While each of the boys shared their own set of weak spots, none of them came close to Noctis’ sensitivity when it came to the lightest of touches. He would squeak, snort and squirm at the gentlest brush to the sides, or the softest kiss to the neck. While it remained a secret to the four of them, Noctis’ boyfriends couldn’t help themselves but take advantage of it at every opportunity. 

Ignis dragged a single finger down the length of Noctis’ neck, and then up again right up to underneath his ears. Noct’s shoulders came up to try and defend against the ticklish sensation, but Ignis’ fingers would somehow find a way to worm around his defences. 

“I-Ignis...” Noctis stuttered, trying to keep himself from giggling. 

Gladio and Prompto quickly caught onto Ignis’ plan, creeping over to each side of the raven-haired prince, ensuring he couldn’t escape. 

“Last chance, princess,” Gladio smirked. “You either wake up, or we tickle you half to death.” Prompto giggled at that, seeming way too excited. 

As expected, the prince didn’t say a word.

Ignis chuckled, hoisting Noctis by the arms and dragging him further out of his sleeping bag. Noctis grumbled, trying to fight off Ignis, and immediately started complaining.

“‘s just five minutes...” He mumbled, clearly still half-asleep. His head sat in Ignis’ lap, and in any other situation Noctis’ would’ve liked using Ignis’ thighs as a pillow. “Just lemme- h-hey... whaha?! Hehehey!” Ignis had began digging his fingers into Noctis’ underarms while he was complaining, allowing giggles to freely flow out of his mouth.

“We have you plenty of time to reconsider, Noct!” Prompto laughed, his fingers scritching the sides of Noctis’ ribs. His giggles rose in volume, and he arched his back to try and escape Prompto’s fingers.

“Ahaha!! P-Prom! S-Stop it!” He squeaked when Gladio’s hands joined in, squeezing his sides and massaging them in a way that tickled really badly. Noctis’ giggles turned into laughter as his boyfriends tormented him.

“Still as ticklish as ever,” Gladio commented. He noticed Noctis’ face flush at the statement, and Prompto must’ve as well.

“Aww, what’s the matter? Is our little prince too ticklish for his own good?~” Prompto teased, his fingers now targeting Nocti’s lower ribs, a spot he knew to be quite sensitive. 

“Dohohon’t sahAHAHAY THAT!!” Noctis squealed, squirming to get out of Ignis’ hold. Ignis now had him trapped with his hands under the adviser’s knees, allowing him easy access to his underarms and ribs. 

“What, you don’t like being told you’re ticklish? Is that it?” Ignis smirked. “You don’t want to be reminded of how sensitive you are?” 

Noctis didn’t know whether to shake his head and lie, or nod and admit the truth. He’d get tickled no matter what he did. Before he could make a decision however, he felt Gladio straddle his waist and Prompto sit on his ankles. They’d stopped their previous ministrations to settle into their positions, and Noctis realized he was in trouble.

Oh Gods.

“Okay! Okay, I’m awake!!” Noctis pleaded. “I’ll get up!”

“Oh, dear, Noct,” Ignis chuckled. “You were so adamant on staying asleep a minute ago... Whatever changed your mind?”

“You know what!”

“Hmm... I don’t seem to recall... Was it because I was doing... this?” A poke to his ribs. “Or this?” Another poke, this time to his neck. “Or... perhaps it was this?” He gave the spot underneath Noctis’ ear a small scratch, and the prince became undone. What was worse is that he could feel Gladio lifting up his shirt, and Prompto’s fingers holding his toes back. 

“N-No... nonono p-please, Specs, I’ll do anything,” Noctis found himself begging, something he wouldn’t do unless in a situation with tickling involved, of all things.

“Anything?” 

“Anything!”

“Then perish.”

With that, all of Noctis’ worst spots were targeted, and he screamed bloody murder upon first contact. Between the shrieks and howls he could feel Ignis scratching at that one soft spot underneath his ears, a spot that would make him melt in seconds. He could feel Gladio’s calloused fingers scritching at his tummy, chuckling at the way Noctis arched his back as if he was asking for more. But most of all, he could feel Prompto’s fingers tickling underneath his toes, his worst spot. 

Noctis could say he was definitely awake now.

“So, how about it, princess? You gonna get up now?” Gladio asked, leaning down to blow a raspberry on Noctis’ tummy, which in turn made him shriek.

“YEHEHE-! YEHEHEHEHES!!! G-GODS, I’M AWAHAHAKE!!” The prince yelled, and the tickling stopped. His boyfriends didn’t move, however, still pinning him to the ground. Residual giggles bubbled out of Noctis uncontrollably, and Prompto couldn’t help but giggle with him.

“Dude, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as ticklish as you,” Prompto teased, giving Noctis’ foot a tiny poke, watching as his other foot came in front to protect it. The blonde giggled at this.

“I-I’m not... that bad...” Noctis panted, his face flushed completely red.

“You are,” Gladio said, running his hands over Noctis’ tummy, watching the boy underneath him squirm and squeak. “See? Can’t even give you a belly rub without you gettin’ all giggly.”

“Ohohokay!! I get it!!” Noctis giggled, and when Gladio stopped, he opened his eyes to see Ignis staring at him.

“Oh, don’t be worried about it, darling,” said Ignis. “It’s absolutely adorable.”

Noct whined, pouting and crossing his arms. That didn’t last long though, as Gladio gave him one last poke to the side before climbing off of him. Ignis and Prompto followed, and they watched as Noctis sat up and rubbed his eyes. 

As Ignis prepared breakfast, with Prompto and Gladio fooling around on the campsite, Noctis couldn’t help but think how grateful he was for his evil boyfriends. 

I guess I won’t be sleeping in anytime soon...

[rubykgrant]

I’m gonna write out little high-lights of my RVB Monster AU for Halloween reasons~ Things happen in a mostly normal-world modern setting, but obviously with monsters/fantasy creatures and such. Things plot-related happen almost the same way, but some stuff is earlier/later, shuffled around to work for my own purposes (so some of the key moments still happen, but occasionally in a different order). Here is the beginning, which as always, starts with two morons asking a big question-

“Hey?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever wonder why we’re here?”

“Well, that’s one of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it?”

The two men were standing on the rooftop of an old warehouse. The building had gone through several owners, being used as a storage facility, a garage for fixing up cars and various vehicles, a shipping business, a veterinary clinic for large animals and livestock, a recycling center… and possibly some kind of drug lab at one point. It was none of these now, but if a stranger saw the inside, they would assume the new owner was a combination a mechanic/pet doctor, using the left-behind equipment (and considering how shady everything appeared, a stranger would also probably assume this was a front for yet another drug lab). It was still none of these things. In truth, it was much stranger.

One man stood slouching with the late-afternoon sun on his back. The other was leaning against a vent that came out of the roof, in the shadows. He had a red long-sleeved button-up shirt on (despite the hot temperature), and black jeans. His shirt was neatly tucked-in, and his matching red hair was trimmed short in what was decidedly a “going to a job interview” style. His eyes were two different colors. Once, they had both been a soft brown, but now one was glass, the color of the iris some kind of magenta… or maroon. The other eye (the one that was still organic) was a golden-yellow. He looked like somebody who had gone through a growth-spurt some years back, and still hadn’t settled into himself; too lanky and gawky for his own good.

His companion in the sun was a little shorter, and considerably larger, but completely at ease with his shape and his weight. His skin was mostly a warm copper brown… but he had several patches of mis-matched skin tones on his left side; around his eye, his chest, his arm, his leg. Each area also showed several scars, signifying that it was the result of surgery and skin-grafts. His dark brown hair was parted in the center, falling down around his shoulders in long curls, and stubble on his chin. His eyes were so dark, they almost looked black. He wore an old faded baseball shirt (once white with orange on the collar and short sleeves, now a dingy-peachy color), and loose gray jeans that were worn-out at the knees. They were quite the odd pair, opposites in many ways that were obvious (and more that were evident in their interactions), yet it was clear they were used to each other’s company.

“Why ARE we here?” the man in the sun continued, answering the question from his friend in the shadows. “I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a god watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night…”

“WHAT?” the other man stood up a little straighter, but remained behind the vent. “I meant why are we out HERE, in broad daylight? Sarge KNOWS it’ll burn me, and there’s not even anything for us to do! The only reason he sends us out to keep watch is because there’s that building over there he thinks is haunted, but we can’t see anything from here… and if there WAS anything going on over there, like ghosts or whatever, they could definitely see US! We don’t have any cover on the roof, but whoever might be over THERE is hidden behind the windows!”

“Oh… uh, yeah…”

“What was all that stuff about god?”

“Nothing,”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,”

They both decided to just skip it, and move on.

“But seriously, why ARE we out here, and why does Sarge care about that building so much?” the taller man waved his arm, gesturing to the building in question.

“I guess he wants to try catching ghosts next, or something?” the shorter man shrugged.

“Then we should just GO OVER THERE, right?”

“Pfff… nah, are you kidding? Just standing around, looking at a building? This is the easiest job I ever had,” he sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Grif, you- OK, first of all! This isn’t a JOB, we aren’t getting paid! Second, you don’t even remember most of your life before a few months ago, you have no basis of comparison!”

“Fair point, but come on Simmons… seriously? What job could I have possibly had that would be easier than this?”

From his spot in the shadows, Simmons looked away for a moment, thinking.

“Hmm… well, I remember reading about people being paid to take part in sleep studies. You just nap and keep a dream journal, or whatever…”

“Oh man, are you kidding!? I WISH that was my life!” Grif kicked at an old rusty can, causing it to fall off the roof. “Instead, here I am, stuck in this stupid building, in this stupid town, in this stupid canyon-”

“Where we have to look at a potentially haunted building, at random intervals, day and night…” Simmons added.

“All because Scruffy the Vampire Slayer is paranoid!”

Despite himself, this caused Simmons to snort laughter. Grif grinned, pleased that his pun was appreciated.

“Even if that building IS haunted… it doesn’t seem like something bad, you know? I never see anybody running out of there screaming bloody murder. If we just ignored it, what would happen? Nothing. It would just be a boring building with boring ghosts, and we’d just be another boring building with boring… whatever we are,” Simmons leaned once more on the vent, glaring up at the sky that was still dangerously bright.

“I think monsters sums us up pretty good,” Griff suggested.

“Right, monsters who don’t do anything. Over there are ghosts who don’t do anything. Whoopty-fucking-doo…”

“You gonna actually SAY that to Sarge? Hmm? Gonna finally stand up to him, use your big-boy voice, and tell the crazy old man you don’t wanna follow orders anymore? Is this beginning of your rebellious phase?” Grif reached over, shoving Simmons lightly on the arm.

“Well… no… but! I’m gonna remind him that me being outside in the day is a bad idea! YOU should get the day shift, and I should get the night shift. It just makes sense,”

“Aww, but Simmons… then we wouldn’t get to spend quality time together, having all these deep and meaningful conversations!” Grif gave him a look of fake-concern, like he was hurt and might start crying.

“Oh, right. I forgot. We’re philosophers discussing the secrets of the universe, life’s great mysteries, right?” Simmons smirked.

“Exactly… like, if you could only taste one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? No matter what you ate, it has the same flavor?” Grif asked.

“That’s a stupid question for a vampire, man. Everything I eat DOES have the same flavor now. It all tastes like blood, because guess what? I have to drink blood. Because I’m a VAMPIRE,” Simmons shook his head.

“No, but I mean, if you could magically taste something ELSE, whether you were drinking blood or eating a salad, or whatever, what would you pick?” Grif pressed on. “I’d want everything to taste like chocolate. Milk chocolate. That’s my favorite, and I’d never get sick of it…”

“Jeez… it would’ve been impossible to get you to chill out if you tasted chocolate every time you tried to eat a person!” Simmons replied, remembering how it had been with Grif when they first found him.

“Yeah, I don’t know what those other zombies were on about… brains and human flesh is GROSS. Chocolate, though? MMM, I could do the zombie-shuffle-walk for days to get some good chocolate,”

“Uh-huh, and  that’s EXACTLY how we caught you!” Simmons almost reached out to return the arm-punch, but managed to hesitate and stop in time… Grif was still in direct sunlight, and Simmons would get scorched if he left his little patch of shadow. Grif seemed to realize this, in that quiet and easy way that caused both of them to somehow pick-up each other’s habits. Grif leaned over to nudge Simmons with his shoulder, and they both laughed together.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

My Clarity ~ Shikamaru x Kitsune

A little fic in which Shikamaru isn’t the only kid who gets advice from his dad through Shogi.

Honestly tho, I’m in my exam session, 9 exams, thankfully, only 2 more to go next week, and I have a burning urge to re-watch all of Naruto for some reason, and my love for this beautiful Deer boy resurfaced very VERY powerfully.

Oops.

Little fox, little fox, what are you hiding behind that sly, cheerful smile of yours?

Little fox, little fox, why are you all alone?

Little fox, little fox, what's going on through your mind?

Little fox, little fox...Do you wanna play?

---

Shikamaru always knew there was something off with the red haired girl in his class -

She just seemed too perfect. 

She was beautiful, she was smart, she was talented, she was kind, she was helpful, she was selfless..

And his parents were best friends with her parents, so they would often meet up for play dates and whatever.

No matter how much he tried to avoid her like the plague, she didn’t give up, and whenever he asked her why the hell she wanted to hang out with him so bad, she’d just say

“Because I like you, little fawn.”

That stupid nickname, that soon turned into “Deer boy” irked him big time...But in a way...

He was the only one to whom she gave nicknames, so he felt kinda special.

Actually, he was the only one with whom she actually seemed completely genuine...So maybe he should actually enjoy it?

Yeah, why not, right? 

She’s not so bad, after all, and if he gets to learn something form her, all the better!

----

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ the obsessive mutterings went on and on like grating. She was trembling, not even realizing her cheeks were soaked, not from the rain, but from the tears her beautiful green eyes that now resembled a rainforest, were producing.

 What was going on? This can’t be happening…This was supposed to be a simple mission with her dad and her dad’s best friend…It was just a B mission at most…How could things escalate this much?

 Being a ninja, she knew things are dangerous and would put you in impossible situations…That you can even lose your life or your friends and comrades…But…

Why now…? Why so soon…?

She’s barely 10 years old…She wanted to go on this mission to see how beautiful the world outside the Country of Fire is…But this…?

 “Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ she continued rambling, standing there, on her knees, on the wet grass, all muddy, all bloody, not having moved from there for at least a whole hour, so much that she almost thought she started growing roots into the ground.

 “Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ she went on and on and on with no stopping, with no equivalent of time and space, of self, of body, of identity. She was lost. She was not only broken, but completely shattered. She was blank.

 “Kitsune, that’s enough. Snap out of it. He’s dead. We have to get out of here before the enemies find us. We’ve been here enough.” the man who was her dad’s best friend went on his knees in front of her and grasped her wrists, pulling her hands away from her eye sight so she will stop looking at her father’s blood. “He’s not…He’s not…He can’t be…He can’t…He won’t…He wouldn’t…Leave me…No…He’s just…R-Resting…Don’t mess around with me…” instead of focusing on her hands that were painted with clotted blood, her eyes were now in the vision of the body laying in a pool of its own blood, its chest being cut to access the heart. “I know it’s impossible to accept this, but your parents wouldn’t want you to die here because you froze up. Let’s go home. We’ll get his body in a scroll and I’ll arrange for a funeral.” the man tried to reason with the child, who, in turn, moved for the first time since the incident. “HE’S NOT FUCKING DEAD! STOP LYING TO ME, SHIKAKU, HE’S NOT DEAD!!! HE CAN’T BE DEAD! HE’S NOT! I HEALED HIM! I RESTARTED HIS HEART! HE’S NOT DEAD! I DIDN’T LET HIM DIE! HE’S TOO STRONG TO DIE! HE WOULDN’T LEAVE ME AND MUM! I’M TELLING YOU, HE’LL GET UP ANY MINUTE NOW! I DID EVERYTHING BY THE BOOK! JUST AS THE MEDICAL NINS TAUGHT ME! I DID NO MISTAKE! I DID NOTHING WRONG! I’M SURE!” the red haired girl lashed out at the man, shrieking so loud that her throat felt raw, almost bleeding, her emotions pouring down harder than the rain as she shook hit the man’s chest and shoulder, but he could only look at her with pity in his dark eyes, almost imagining his own son, should that have been him on the ground. “It’s not your fault, Kitsune. You did everything you could, but sometimes, there is nothing anyone can do. Some injuries are so severe that they can’t be healed, even if you are the most skilled healer. It wasn’t your fault, it was the enemies’ fault.  I promise you.” the Nara put the ANBU captain’s corpse in a scroll and picked the girl up, running back to the village and reporting to the Hokage.

 The girl was lost, had no idea what to say, what to do, what to feel – Not when Shikaku was explaining what happened to the Hokage, not when he broke the news to her mum, hell, not even when she was staring at a beautiful picture of the three of them together, at his funeral.

 No children were allowed at the funeral, as per her request – She didn’t want any pity, and she wanted to give no explanations.

She wanted nobody involved. Things were bad enough as they were.

So the only people from the school who knew were the teachers.

Not Shikamaru, not Hinata, not Sasuke, not Shino…

Nobody.

Definitely nobody.

 Her dad wasn’t dead, after all.

She didn’t kill him.

She did everything she was taught to do.

She did the cardiac massage, she was sure she felt his heart pumping again, she definitely saw him breathing…

…Right?

She did, didn’t she?

She didn’t imagine it, right?

She didn’t try to get his heart to pump again when he was already irreversibly dead…

…Right?

  ----

The little red haired girl smiled dazzlingly at the children in her class, who were also her friends. She knew she was the most popular girl in the whole Academy, but she didn't let it bother her, or change the way she behaved with everyone - Everyone was equal in her eyes, even if they were obnoxious or annoying - And in turn, she got invited to everyone's birthday parties or hang outs, and so on.

But most of the time, she couldn't go to those hang outs because she was constantly training with her parents to become an excellent ninja, and in the future, a member of the ANBU - It wasn't only her dream, but her parents jobs too.

ANBU captains

What greater honour could there be?

While other 10 year olds were playing around, she was hanging around adults, learning how to perfect her fighting styles, ninjutsu and genjutsu, but not only -

She wanted to learn medical ninjutsu, she wanted to help people, to save them, for all the times she heard all those scary stories from her parents and their friends...How they lost people, comrades, partners, friends...Because in the Great War, there was barely any medical ninja around to save them...

She couldn't allow that to happen - Not on her watch.

"Okay, class. Today, we are going to do a team activity, and we need 2 captains. Who wants that position?" Iruka-sensei asked his class, and, as expected, most of the kids nominated Kitsune, while Sasuke, Naruto and Kiba wanted to be captains themselves, and Sakura and Ino nomitated the Uchiha. This class' dynamic was always the same, and in a way, this exhausting routine was sort of comforting for the red haired fox-like girl. "Kitsune, Sasuke, step forward. As Kitsune was nominated by the most of you, she will choose first."

"I choose Shika!" in front of the class, the girl with sparkling green eyes grinned enthusiastically as she extended her arms in front of her, as a way of cordially inviting the friend she cherished the most, despite all the gasps of shock she received.

"Sh-Shikamaru? Kitsune, why not choose me first?! I'm so much stronger than that guy who just sleeps all day and is too lazy to move!" Naruto yelled at her, but she merely sweat dropped and chuckled awkwardly.

"But Shikamaru is the smartest in this class and I believe we get along very well. When forming a team, you don't have to always get the ones who are more energetic or physically stronger, but the best strategists and those with whom you can create a perfect synergy and your abilities and skills compliment each other. Having Shika on my team means that we're definitely going to win against Sasuke's team!" the girl shrugged casually, ending her explanation with a sly, incredibly fox-like smirk - One that screamed 'Victory'.

"Uh...Thanks for picking me, I guess." Shikamaru awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, before muttering his usual catch phrase "What a drag..."

Sasuke glared at the girl, despite knowing very well there was barely anyone with any kind of potential in this class, but he got around to choosing Kiba. Then, Kitsune chose Shino, while Sasuke got Choji. Kitsune got Hinata and Sasuke could barely stop himself from facepalming, but chose Sakura. Grinning at the brunet captain, Kitsune chose Ino, so Naruto was stuck with Sasuke - It was the perfect plan.

The two groups went out in the forest, in the opposite parts, and had 15 minutes to come up with a plan to steal the Captain's bandana.

"First of all, I'd like to apologise to Shika for not being able to get Choji as well. I know that the Ino-Shika-Cho formation is incredibly powerful, and that the three of you would have had an amazing synergy, but there's that. However, I'm happy that we have Shino with us, I'm sure the insects are going to scare off both Sakura and Naruto...Which reminds me, Naruto an Sasuke are going to work against each other most of the time. With Shikamaru and I as the strategist, Hinata’s Byakugan and the maturity and knowledge of Shino and Ino, we are going to make the perfect team. Besides…Ino, if you show off how strong you are, and you beat Sakura in the process, I’m sure you’re going to impress Sasuke!” Kitsune clapped her hands together, charming all of her team mates, as per usual. “Oh, but Sakura doesn’t stand a chance! She will swoon over Sasuke-kun all the time and will be completely useless! That Naruto will screw everything up for Sasuke-kun and will be loud enough to give away their position, and I’m sure he’ll argue with everyone, especially Kiba. And Choji eats all the time, I doubt he’ll do much, especially if he sees how everyone argues among themselves and does nothing good. He’s a pacifist, y’know.” Ino grinned condescendingly as she berated almost everyone in the enemy team. “Very well, then I will tell you my plan, and when I’m done, I’d like you to tell me your insight and how to perfect it, if you have any ideas. The main idea is to distract Sasuke while Shika uses his shadow to immobilize Sasuke, so I can steal away the bandana. Ino, you have to stay away from Sakura, so you won’t bicker. I need your Mind Transfer jutsu. Hinata, your Byakugan will be detrimental in finding out everyone’s location, and I have faith in your fighting abilities. Shino, of course, apart from the fact that I’m sure your insects are going to scare away some of those guys, you are a very strong fighter and very intelligent as well.” Kitsune explained simply, and everyone seemed to nod in agreement. “Actually, I think Ino, Hinata and Shino should stay together, at least in the beginning. Ino can incapacitate one person for a short amount of time, so if she stops Sasuke, I can catch him in my shadows, and you can steal away the bandana, while Shino and Hinata fight the others. Those two are sensory types, so they can find out everyone’s positions and the bugs can guide us to them.” Shika pointed out, which made the red haired girl widen her eyes at him in shock for a few seconds, only to grin widely and almost literally glow in happiness. “You’re the best, Shika! It’s always so great hanging out with you! Come on, 15 minutes passed, let’s go and win this!” she cheered to hype the others up, and it worked well enough, and it seemed to give them a little boost of confidence.

 And so, they went to the middle of the forest while Hinata and Shino searched for the enemies – Who they easily found – And Kitsune and Shikamaru split up around Sasuke in a pincer formation. Just as planned, Naruto easily gave away his position, so Shino and Hinata went to fight or scare away Sakura and the others who went down faster than expected, considering they were all split up, not in groups.

When Sasuke was the last one standing, Ino used her Mind Transfer jutsu on him, Sasuke immobilized him and the fox girl stole away the bandana.

 However, just as they were making their escape, Sasuke got out of his immobilized state and went to attack the group – The fox girl gave shadow boy the token of victory and told him to take the team away and make their escape, while she quickly beat the Uchiha and went back to them, only to see the Nara didn’t actually go with the others, but returned to make sure she was okay.

 “Very well played, everyone. Now, the 2 captains, shake hands, and you can all go home for today.” Their teacher smiled at them, while also pointing out the obvious problems in the other team. “Hey, about about we go to the BBQ place to celebrate our win?” Ino asked, smiling triumphantly. “We can invite Sasuke too, since he tried his best, but he didn’t have a team.” Was her plan, and everyone seemed to agree – Of course, the other team wanted to join as well, so there was that, but…

“Oh, uh-uhm…S-Sorry, but I can’t come. I, uh…My parents and I are pretty busy today, haha. But I hope you have fun for me as well! Take care, guys, see ya tomorrow!” Kitsune chuckled awkwardly, rushing to go home and train with her parents.

 However, she didn’t come to school the next day. Or the one after…Or the whole week, for the matter.

She was absent for almost 2 whole weeks, for the matter.

Until she wasn’t anymore.

But when she returned, she was as radiant as always.

For those who weren’t as observant as Shikamaru, that is…

What was he supposed to do, anyway? Go and confront her? No way, that would be a drag…And besides, if she wanted to talk, she’d come to him…Or someone, right?

 The biggest shock of his life was, however, to come home one day from school and finding a certain red haired girl playing Shogi with his own father, and they seemed to be very comfortable with each other? And they were smiling?

“Hey, Shika! Welcome home! Oh, you got here just in time, I and your mum managed to finish cooking earlier! Go and eat something, you don’t want the food to get cold, right?” Kitsune waved at him, smiling sweetly, but the boy could only stare at both of them, incredibly confused, his eyebrows raised so far up that they almost got into his hairline. “Wh-What are you doing here? Dad, what’s going on? Why are you playing Shogi with Kitsune?” the poor boy asked, his head almost snapping from going back and forth. “Oh, w-well…I was pleasantly impressed with your intelligence and strategy, so I came here to praise you to your dad! Also, my mum said she always enjoyed learning and playing Shogi with him, so I thought I’d give it a shot too! You should have heard her, honestly, Shikaku beat me again at Shogi, you should have seen the new stunt he pulled today! It was completely revolutionary, we could totally use it in our next mission!” Kitsune laughed lightly, trying to calm the boy down a bit. “You have to be careful, son, she might just win against you if you slack off too much.” Shikaku teased his son, who could only groan and leave to eat. “Tsk…What a drag…Troublesome woman…” the boy muttered, leaving the place that got immediately much darker. “You can stay for dinner, Kitsune. We can call your mother as well, if you want. I doubt she’d have been up to cooking anything after what happened.” the Nara sighed deeply, crossing his arms and looking attentively at the frail girl in front of him, who may as well be close to shattering. “N-No…I-I…I couldn’t…Do this to her…I’m afraid…Something’s coming…Something incredibly bad…If I’m not there, who knows what will happen…Uhm…Thanks for today, Shikaku. I appreciate it. And he would have as well. See you tomorrow.” She got up and left the place in a hurry, going back home.

However, as soon as she opened the door, she called out to tell her mother…Who didn’t answer. Worried, the red haired girl went to the kitchen, hoping to do some cooking for her mother, who may have been still resting in her room…

But the sight in front of her shook her to the core, for the rest of her life… And since then, the last thing Shikamaru saw of her was her fox necklace that she left over to Shikaku the next day she went for a Shogi play.

He hated to admit it, but this woman…This woman, he actually missed, but no matter how much he pestered his father for an answer, he would only say  “Soon”.

What was such an enigmatic and vague answer supposed to do to reassure and inform him in any way that he will meet her ever again?

He never even had the time to play Shogi with her, or chat properly, hang out by the field to watch the clouds go by…And graduate together, maybe even get put in the same team…

He couldn’t believe this was really happening, and for a while, he actually hated the girl for just leaving like that, without even saying goodbye to him.

Oh, if only the poor boy knew the truth…

  ----

Years passed, Shikamaru was already the first Chunin from his class, they already went in enough missions as teams, and were old enough to see the world in new eyes…Yet nothing could compare to what their parents saw in the Great War, so they were still green ninjas, unaware of the true horrors of this world.

 He was already 16…He couldn’t believe 6 years passed since he last saw that little firecracker named after a cute fox that he used to call “friend” in his Academy days. Every year, when the day of her departure came by, he’d take the day off and go to the spot they would both spend time, watching the clouds – And for some reason, he would always see a fox shaped cloud.

 It was such a drag.

 However, on the 6th year, his father stopped him from going to the field, instead, asking to play Shogi, something that confused the boy greatly, but he decided he should listen to what his father had to say.

 But never, in his life, would he have expected that his father finally saw him as old enough to tell him what happened to that mysterious girl who disappeared so suddenly.

He told Shikamaru everything that happened on that mission gone wrong – The Kirigakure ninjas attacking them, Kitsune’s father saving her and dying in the process, and the little girl snapping, going on a rampage, and when returning to her father’s side, she tried to revive him for so long, that he thought he wasn’t going to be able to pry her away from his body. The shock that completely stunned her, seeing herself in the reflection of the cold water, trying to scrub away the blood from her hands – Blood that wasn’t there anymore, but she kept seeing it – She tried and tried and tried to wash it off – To even claw it off – aggressively scrubbing away with her nails, leaving trails all over her arms.

 And that day, when Shikamaru caught them playing Shogi – When she got home, she saw her mother hanging in the kitchen – She couldn’t take it anymore. Her mother loved her husband so much, that she couldn’t handle being without him anymore, nor could she handle staying in the same house with the daughter who looked so much like him.

 Her mother committed suicide.

 It was a clear sign to Kitsune that she should get the hell out of Konoha, before she would lose herself completely.

But even then, she held Shikamaru in her heart, which is why she asked Shikaku to give him her necklace before she left.

 She had no idea where she wanted to go, but she had to.

 And that day, when she played Shogi, the strategies she took, influenced by Shikaku’s aggressiveness in the game, made the both of them realize that the deer boy was too precious to her to sacrifice, as a mere Shogi piece.

So she left to get better and protect the last person she loved who was still alive.

And Shikamaru felt guilty for resenting her for 6 years.

 ---

“I wonder who’s our other team mate. Lady Tsunade didn’t say much about this person.” Ino asked, dangling her feet, bored, staying on a tree branch. “I heard it’s a girl!” Choji munched on his crisps, not really caring much. “Dad said it’s some ANBU captain or something. What a drag, that means this mission’s going to be more difficult than before…” Shikamaru groaned, slouching down. “As usual, you come up with the best strategies. It’s weirdly nice working with you again, and –“ the angelic voice of a woman was heard by the trio, who immediately perked up in curiosity, as in their field of vision, Shikamaru’s father walked by, wearing a relaxed and joking smile on his face, side by side with a much shorter individual, with long hair, kissed by fire, dressed in the usual ANBU outfit, with a fox mask covering her face, and a few weapons strapped to her back. “Is…Is this our team  mate?” Ino gasped at the beauty in front of her. “I sure hope so.” Choji chuckled, nudging Shikamaru, but the boy could only stare at her, frowning, unable to utter any word. “Here’s your team, Kitsune. I’m sure you missed being around your friends –“ but Shikaku couldn’t finish his sentence, for as soon as the girl saw the brunet boy, she got rooted to the spot for a few seconds, before squealing and throwing herself in his arms, hugging him as tight as possible. “Shika!!!”  she cried out, twirling around with him, not wanting to let him go. “I missed you so much, Shika~!” “K-Kitsune…? Is that really you…?” poor Shikamaru couldn’t even hug the girl back because of the extreme shock he was in, but his father’s chuckle snapped him back to reality. “Yes, silly, it’s me! I’m back.” The girl quickly took off her mask, putting it to her waist belt, flashing the same dazzling white smile of hers – The same one that completely stole his heart many years ago. “Remember me?” “Y-Yeah, ‘course I do, uhmm…” he tried to stumble over his words, despite the blush creeping on his face. “My…! You grew up so much! And you’re absolutely gorgeous! …Eh…~? Look at you, you’re so cute with red cheeks! And you’re even wearing my necklace! I’m so happy, Shika…! Your parents must be so proud to have the smartest and prettiest child in the whole Country of Fire, right Shikaku~?” the red haired girl giggled teasingly, making the poor deer boy so flustered that he had to fry her off and look away, while his friends and dad were laughing at him. “What a troublesome woman…! Tsk…Stop being so familiar with me, you’re annoying.” Shika tried to fend off, but the girl feigned that annoying puppy dog eyes that she always did when she was little and she wanted to spend time with him. “Th-Then…You didn’t miss me, Shika? At all? Not even a tiny bit?” she asked in the most pitiful voice, pouting and getting closer to his face, which in turn, killed him instantly. “…Fine, yeah, maybe, whatever. Let’s go on our mission.” The poor boy grumbled, walking ahead of everyone, not even bothering to say goodbye to his dad, as his friends were already teasing him and laughing. “He’s so cute~!” the girl grinned, carefree, following his lead.

 The road to the mission’s point was filled with light chatting and some catching up, but for Shikamaru, the situation was different – Every word she uttered, he analysed and scanned, as if looking for any string of white lie that sewed together a perfectly made up story.

 She wanted to learn a more diverse range of skills so she went to learn from other Ninja villages and random renowned rouge ninjas and samurais…

And, allegedly, 2 years prior, she returned and joined the ANBU, and chose only the longest missions that led farthest away from the Country of Fire.

 How dubious…

  “Shh, stop, here we are.” Kitsune stopped abruptly, crouching down on the branch carefully, squinting and watching like a hawk every one of the grouped up ninjas, almost as if she was peering at them under a microscope – Every micronic detail, she sketched in her mind and carefully created a plan to take them down, before snapping her fingers once to draw her team’s attention towards her. “See that guy with blue hair, tied up, and black eyes? That’s our guy. We capture him, and kill everyone else. Easy enough?” despite muttering in a low voice, her piercing gaze didn’t move for not even a single pico-second. “But…Kitsune…? I don’t mean to sound doubting…But there must be at least 50 ninjas out there, and they seem to be at least Chuunin level. And weren’t Kirigakure ninjas supposed to be bloodthirsty and to be using poison?” Ino asked, obviously very worried. “They aren’t Kirigakure ninjas, but yeah, you are right about those guys. These ones are in disguise, but not great ones, I’d have to say. See that guy with orange hair? His sleeve is raised up, and a brown tattoo can be seen, which indicates they are from Iwa. Very annoying and strong. Those stupid guys have an Iwakage who can eradicate everything in sight with that stupid particle-something jutsu of his…And they have an explosion department…Thank God I didn’t remain in Konoha…” Kitsune muttered, the corner of her mouth raising into a triumphant smirk that meant she was going to create a blood bath. “Explosions?! How can we protect ourselves against that?” Choji was almost comically trembling, eating crisps even more rapidly than before. “Unfortunately for you, neither has a Lightning chakra nature, so we can’t actively deactivate them…However…I trained with the best puppet master in the world, who so happens to have as a partner the most fanatic, yet talented bomb artist, so I know how to go against these guys. Shika, Ino, I want you to make sure you get the leader away from the group. Since you can get in his body, just say you need to pee or something, and that you’ll be back, which is when Shikamaru will use his shadows to get him towards us, and then three of you will protect him, while I kill this lot, got it?” she asked, finally snapping from her hawk-like self and taking out her weapons, soaking them in poison with a wet cloth. “That’s not the best strategy, I’d say. We do nothing, while you do all the work. I am more than one-man hit, y’know? I grew up and trained too. I can get at least 20 of those guys.” Shikamaru’s annoyed voice perked up, surprising the girl, who could only blink and look at him with big, almost fawn-like eyes. “I never doubted any of you for a second, and if it seemed that way, I apologise sincerely. Thing is, I’m an ANBU, and out of all of you, only you, Shikamaru, promoted to Chuunin. Now, I’m not saying that these grades matter, because they don’t, but at the same time, I’m responsible for you, and I don’t want to go home with one of you dead in my arms, and having to hold your funeral. I told Tsunade to let me do this alone, but she insisted I pair up with you. I want you all to promise you won’t get in my way and attack, unless necessary, got it? As I said, I absolutely REFUSE to get your blood on my hands, capiche?” Kitsune’s voice became very dry, dark and poisonous very fast, which made the blonde and chestnut haired ninjas gulp and nod fiercely, while the brunet only frowned in anger. “We aren’t 10 year old anymore, Kitsune, and neither are you. This ain’t the mission you went to 6 years ago, and nobody will die on your watch, got it? If you keep being afraid of taking risks, you’ll fail.” Shikamaru got closer to her face, arguing her plan. “Shikaku told you what happened, didn’t he? Well, I should have known, it was bound to happen. Nonetheless, as I said, I’m the leader of the team. You do as I say, or you go home. I will have NOBODY’S blood on my hands. Now go do your jobs and do NOT put yourselves in danger unless I say so.” Kitsune, for the last time, warned the trio, then got up, took off her konoha forehead protector and switched it to a rogue-one, then put back her fox mask and raising her arms up, she attached chakra string to each and every ninja, except the target. “Now, Ino, Shikamaru, go get him.” She commanded in such a dark and monotone voice, almost as if she suddenly transformed into the villain of the series.

 Despite disagreeing with the plan, the two did as were told, and very easily, lured their victim into the perfectly placed trap, and now, the trio were his guard.

Further, Kitsune grinne widely behind her mask, chuckling and jumping down from the tall tree, as she used her fire chakra to burn the string, and in turn, the victims they were attached to. With incredible speed and agility, she jumped in the middle of the group and started slicing left and right mercilessly, losing herself in the bloodlust that was surging through her veins, her mind completely away from reality, but in a whole new universe – Of killing strategy.

 …That is, until familiar voices – Screams, rather – Resounded through the forest, which completely snapped her away from her concentration, and in turn, getting cut and scratched in various places.

 Her eyes saw it easily – The leader escaped their grasp and ran to attempt to kill her, but Shikamaru tried to fight him, and failed, and now Ino was trying heal him. But she was crying. She wasn’t a good enough medical ninja yet. Kitsune knew that feeling all too well.

  “Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ kept going into her mind, unusually loud, almost throwing her off her game.

With a raw growl, close to animalistic, she saw red in front of her, and burnt everything in her paths, slashing, dashing, cutting and ripping apart every living being there, sans the leader, whom she managed to immobilize and knock out with the help of Choji. Without sparing any second, she ran to Shikamaru’s side and fell to her knees, roughly pushing Ino aside.

It was an impulsive rush of rage, for she snatched away her mask and forehead protector and threw them as far away as possible, before shrieking at the deer boy for being so stupid.

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ those words just wouldn’t stop screeching at her.

“YOU FUCKING IDIOT, SHIKAMARU, I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL, DAMN IT! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!” she gripped so tightly at her hair that Ino thought she was going to rip it all off. “If you dare die…I will never forgive you. Never, you get it? Never. Not you. Of all people…You’re the last one alive…So you can’t. I refuse to allow you that. You don’t have the permission to leave me. Ever. Got it?” the red head growled lowly, getting one of her hands inside his chest, performing cardiac massage, and cursed herself for remembering that mission long ago, when she had to do the same thing with her father – But this time, Shikamaru was still alive, and she was sure this time around – No more lies or delusions.

  “Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ she needed bloody therapy, she knew that, otherwise those words were going to be the death of her.

With her other hand, she used her other hand to prop up his head and give him CPR, once again, cursing herself for having to do something like this, when she hoped everyone would remain safe and she would, one day, share a sweet kiss with him – Not have to save his life like that.

  “Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ they were louder and louder, causing almost a physical discomfort, as if someone was grating her brain.

Once, twice, thrice, and more, so much more – Sasori taught her healing ninjutsu well, and she was confident in her abilities, but there was always that speck of fear and PTSD that was creeping in the back of her mind, reminding her of her past failure.

But the puppet master was an excellent teacher, and she, in turn, was a hard-working and diligent student, so there was no way she was going to put the man she loved on the list of people she let die.

  “Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

“Argh…Too close…” a hand suddenly pushed her aside weakly, and a cough snapped her out of her focused mindset – And blinking away to reality, she realized that the Nara boy was sitting in front of her, breathing normally, and coughing a bit, wearing a scowl on his face.

  “Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ the threat is over now, you can stop already, he’s not dead...Like your parents.

“…Oh thank goodness…” Kitsune groaned, letting herself fall on her back, looking up at the sky, her nails digging into her arms now, trying to snap herself back to reality completely. “I won’t forgive you for the stunt you pulled.” She muttered absent-minded, not caring about anyone around her anymore. “…What a troublesome woman. She’s gonna scold me all the way back home. Great.” Shika tried to chuckle, lighting up the mood, but the red haired girl was already on her feet, tying up the target and carrying it, walking in the direction of the village, without saying another word – Her face now again, covered with her mask, showing that she didn’t want to be approached in any way. “Shikamaru, you insensitive idiot! You, jerk! Is that how you treat the woman you love?! She was just worried about you, and you throw away words like that?! Go and apologise right now!” Ino shouted at him, nagging him like she was his mum, so much that the boy could only sigh and drag his hands down his face in annoyance and resentment.

And he actually tried, for once, to reconcile properly, but the only words that she told him were “You have to rest properly when you get home.” And then she just rushed farther and farther ahead.

And that’s just what he did, as the girl guided him home, let the others go to theirs as well, while she went to the Hokage to report to the mission.

After taking a nap and resting, as advised, he left his bedroom and went to the kitchen, seeing his mother frowning, which confused him.

“What happened?” he asked, knowing something was up. “Well…Nothing, really. Your dad is playing Shogi with Kitsune…And I just remembered her mother and the good times when we were friends. Too bad the good ones always die first.” Yoshino sighed, sweeping absent-minded. “Uhm…Y-Yeah…I guess.” He muttered, not having a clue what to say in such a situation. “Won’t you be a dear and tell her to remain for dinner? Poor girl, she’s been all alone since she was 10…I can’t imagine how horrible it must have been…” but she stopped herself before saying anything more that would have upset her, so Shikamaru left the room, believing that letting her just be would have been better.

 However, instead of making his presence known, he decided to just open the door ever so slightly, enough to peep from behind and watch the interaction going –

Kitsune was sitting in front of the Shogi table, her head slightly hung, her outfit still unchanged – And she said no word, but it wasn’t clear if she was listening to his father either.

  “You can take off your mask now, Kitsune. The mission is over. You can get dressed in Shikamaru’s clothes. Why don’t you sleep over?” Shikaku tried to get a response out of her, even beginning the match, but she seemed to be in her own mind. “No.” she finally muttered after a while, yet she made her move as well, almost robotically. “Kitsune. The mission is over. You can relax now. You are allowed to. You did well and nobody got hurt. Get out of your mission-mind,  you’re home now.” The man tried again, but it was clear the aura around the girl became more and more agitated. “Shikamaru almost died.” She pointed out bitterly. “As far as I’m concerned, my son is sleeping in his room as usual. He didn’t complain about his team leader, nor of any injury or danger. If he is fine, so should you be. You can’t take anyone’s pain.” His father spoke again, and with each word, he found himself nodding in agreement. “I ALMOST KILLED YOUR FUCKING SON, SHIKAKU! ARE YOU DEAD? ARE YOU BRAIN-DEAD?! GET ANGRY! YELL AT ME! BEAT ME UP! SCOWL, CURSE ME, INSULT ME…FUCKING DO SOMETHING! YOU ALMOST HELD YOUR SON’S FUNERAL BECAUSE OF ME! I am the one who killed your 2 best friends, and now I almost killed your son too! Why aren’t you reacting in any way?!” the fire outburst of the girl scared the boy out of his wits, flinching when she slammed her fist on the Shogi  table, breaking it in two, all pieces getting propelled in different directions, as she shouted at the irritatingly-calm man in front of her. “I will do no such thing, Kitsune, because, first of all, I am not mad at you. It was not your fault, I tell you now, the same as I told you before. It wasn’t you who killed your parents, nor was it you who endangered my son. We are all ninjas, and we serve with our lives on the line. Unexpected surprises always happen, and we can’t predict everything, but we can do our best to avoid them.” Shikamaru’s heart was close to bursting with emotions and words that he wanted to let out, as he felt his fingers digging deep into the wood of the sliding door. “I. Almost. Killed. Shikamaru.” The girl hung her head down, prying away her mask and throwing it away in disgust, her long, fire-red hair completely hiding her tear-stained face. “I argued with him. I insulted him. I cursed him. I yelled at him. In the end, he almost died…Because of me. And…It was just like back then. Almost perfectly like back then. They weren’t paying attention, the enemy escaped, he tried to protect me and got hurt…And I got soaked in his blood. My hands was grasping his heart, and I was helping it pump more and more blood…I was helping him breathe…And all I could do was pray…And pray…And pray again…That he won’t end up like them…But I’m selfish, Shikaku. I didn’t think of you, nor that I almost killed your son. I was only thinking about my own self.  I’m selfish and I don’t deserve him.” Her voice become so soft, so broken, as she trembled and sobbed in her hands, not being able to stop the flow of tears and emotions from running astray. “Kitsune…Shikamaru doesn’t hate you, nor is he blaming you for what happened. Stop blaming yourself for things that were inevitable. The most important thing is that you were able to save him and bring him back home safely.” His father sighed, yet his eyes were looking with understanding at the pitiful girl – He knew very well the heartbreak of loss and he didn’t wish it upon anyone, especially such a sensitive young girl. “Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off...That’s the only thing that kept going through my mind, over and over and over again, and I couldn’t stop it! Just like back then...I couldn’t control it. I swore I was going crazy. I was sure he was going to die, and I would remain with his blood on my hands for ages, no matter how hard I’d try to wash it off or even burn away the skin on my hands.” she was shaking so much now, digging her claw-like nails deep into her arms, dragging down and scratching her skin, almost giving herself a sort of comfort, knowing she was still alive, and so was Shikamaru. ”You have nobody’s blood on your hands, Kitsune, understand that. It wasn’t you who killed your parents, no matter how you put it. You tried to save them, but they were beyond saving from anyone. There was nothing you could have done.” Shikaku tried to remind the catatonic girl once again. “…If Shikamaru dies, all the people I ever loved won’t be on this Earth anymore…So there is no reason to live anymore…No matter what, Shikamaru, out of all the people in the world, MUST live. If he gets in danger again, I think I’ll go insane.” She gritted her teeth as her hands made her way into her hair, gripping at it painfully, until the whole world stopped – And once again, time and space were absent from this house –

“I think he feels the same about you.” Shikaku smiled, seeing his son frowning at the girl from behind the door, and motioning to him to get out of there and take the reigns properly, like a man. “What would you know?!” she sneered at him, snapping her head up, only to see the man getting up to leave, and, to her surprise, a pair of arms sneaking around her, pulling her into a tight hug from behind. It was the deer boy, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck.

“You’re such a troublesome woman, you know that, right? When I said you were going to scold me, I was hoping you’d do that. I hoped it would help you relax and vent away your frustrations. I never imagined you’d get so upset over it. Sorry I screwed up your plan, neither of us were paying attention to our target…We were worried about you so we were looking at you…I’m sorry.” He spoke in the most sincere voice she ever heard him speaking, and she couldn’t help but start crying again, turning around and letting herself melt in his embrace, burying her face into his chest and gripping tightly at his shirt. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I screwed up everything – From 6 years ago, to even now, I’m so sorry, Shika. I should have told you everything, but I couldn’t and I screwed up everything.” She kept apologizing over and over, but the boy couldn’t understand why, so instead of saying anything, he cupped her face and placed a short, yet very soft and sweet kiss on her lips, hoping to snap her out of it. “Stop blaming yourself for nothing. I won’t die, and you won’t die, okay? We’re the smartest people around, I’m sure we can screw with everyone. Just the two of us, together. Now, come on, get up, fox girl. It’s getting late, and mum’s gonna yell at me if we don’t go eat dinner while it’s still hot. Let’s find you some comfy clothes.” He helped her get up and guided her to his room, giving her a loose white Tshirt and some comfy pants. “Well…I guess I make even leisure clothes look fashion.” She admired herself in the mirror, posing and grinning in amusement, making the boy chuckle. “Yeah, ‘course you do. But, before that…Here. It just wouldn’t be fair if I was the only one wearing one.” Saying that, Shikamaru took out a deer necklace from his pocket and put it around her slender neck, before taking his own fox necklace from under his shirt, and letting it dangle out to compliment hers. “…Haha, you kept it. How nice. I don’t know about you, but if you ask me, we can’t get more soulmate-y than that.” She chuckled, squishing his cheeks and pulling him into a deep kiss that was more playful than anything, yet still dazed him a bit, as he let himself get dragged to the kitchen where his parents were waiting for them. They smiled at each other seeing the two teenagers smiling so carefree, so happy at each other – And those symbolic animal necklaces, almost dangling towards each other, like Yin tried to get closer to Yang, and vice versa. “Tomorrow, we are SO going to go and make fun of Ino and Sakura for being obsessed over Sasuke, when we have the perfect relationship right here! Ha! They’re gonna be so jealous!” she smirked mischievously, and the boy could only shake his head, but chuckle at her nonetheless. “What did I get myself into…You troublesome woman.” He nudged her playfully, and it was one of the first times that anyone around saw him not so lazy. “Fine, fine, we can go to BBQ after with Choji, if you want. Sounds fair enough, doesn’t it? My treat.” She flashed him a charming smile, and he could only shrug in agreement. “You’ll get broke, but you said it, can’t take it back now. You clearly forgot how much Choji eats.” Shikamaru teased her, but she only smirked wider. “I lived as a bounty hunter for years before I got back, Shikamaru. I could buy a villa right now. I’m sure I can afford a meal for my friends.” She flipped her hair and winked playfully at the boy next to her.

The next day, just as promised, she dragged her new boyfriend around to brag about him and how awesome he is, and all that, all while he would just blush and grumble in the background, but at least the BBQ hang out was fun and they had a good laugh, as all friends do.

When all was over, she had him go by to her home to get a neatly wrapped, big gift from her living room, and then went back to his home, before handing him the present.

“Here, open it. It’s not the best…But I’m sorry for my outburst. It was uncalled for, and I’m really, really sorry for destroying it. This…This was my parents’ Shogi table and…You should have it. And my parents were best friends with your parents…So yeah. Please take it. And I’m sorry again.” She urged him to open it already, and inside, as she mentione, a beautiful Shogi table, on the back of it, her parents names being carved, inside a heart. “O-Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. You can have your dad shave it off, cover it, or something, I don’t mind. It’s yours now.” She awkwardly scratched the back of her head,  but the boy merely shook his head. “No, it’s perfect as it is. Come on, why don’t we go out in the forest? I’m sure you want to see the deer.” He carefully placed the Shogi table on his futon and guided her out. “And we can watch the stars in your garden tonight?” she smiled at him sweetly. “Yeah, sure, we can do that. Sounds nice.”

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

“A GOD’S GIFT”.

HAPPY LOWMAN X READER

Prompt 54 requested by @HOOOLI13 and an anon. “She’s my girl”. “I’m what?”

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

WARNINGS: Smutt and fluffy Happy.

AUTHOR COMMENTS: I hope you all enjoy. English isn’t my first language, I’m sorry if I have some mistakes with grammar. The gif isn’t mine.

Tag list: @STARRYNITE7114 @CHIBSYTELFORD @DAZZLEDAMAZON @MARA-MPOU @SAMMSKELLINGTON 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

** Flaco = skinny man.

The first yawn appears near to twelve in the morning. You've been working for the last six hours with the motorbikes of the crew, after deciding that it was a good time to go over the bodies. Covering your mouth with a hand, making a bad move, you cut the back of the other. A slight scream goes out of your lips. Seeing how the blood begins to sprout, you jump from the floor to take a cloth to wrap it. It's not a deep one, but goes all over the back of your hand and it stings too much. You're not the kind of girl who has a low pain threshold, but you've been feeling weak these last few days and sounds like someone has cursed you.

Walking through the yard, with the work jumpsuit knotted to your waist, you notice that your shirt is stained with your own blood and seems more exaggerated than it really is, just because you shook your hand as a reflex act.

“AYE! The bloody hell, kid?!” Chibs is the first one who practically jumps off of his chair, leaving the cards on the table, to take your arm between his fingers. You release the cloth to show him with a smile forced on your lips.

“You ok?” Happy is worried too, placing his body behind yours, looking over your shoulder. He's not surprised, not as Juice, who has a look of horror in his face. Unbelievable he's a Son' and all the thing he has done.

“Not sure if I should gotta' the hospital. It's not... deep, not even painful, but the body of the bike was covered in grass and oil”. You raise your gaze to the president with a soft shrug.

“Ya' shoul', kid”. He nods after some seconds looking thoughtful.

“Got you, love”. A tattooed arm surrounds your abdomen, pushing you to follow him in his way to the parking on the front yard. “How you did it, uh? What were you thinking about that distracted you?”

Happy looks at you intrigued. He knows you well, he knows how concentrated you are when you're taking care of their motorbikes, but you don't have a correct answer for him. The man clicks his tongue, leaving some hidden caresses on your belly now that you two are so close. And with the hand you placed before on his shoulder, you give him some tickles, with one of your nails trailing the skin of his neck. He pulls himself away abruptly from you, with a shy smile on his face, rubbing the area where your finger was.

It happened seven months ago. You were drunk and you lost a bet against him. One thing led to another, and you began to be friends with benefits, with the difference that you don't fuck with other people. You never talked about it, but seemed like Happy was satisfied with you, and you with him. Even if Chibs told you it was fine, you're not the kind who mixes business and pleasure; but sometimes, you like play soft games like this one. Happy is not someone dearly, and you're sure that you are the closest thing to having a girlfriend for him, but he tries to make you feel comfortable all the time.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

You don't know what's going on, but the emergencies are almost collapsed, so seems like you're gonna have to wait. Another yawn forces your mouth, shaking your head hoping this helps you to stay awake. Happy has an arm on the back of your seat, turning slightly with a raised eyebrow. Now he knows what happened, making him snort looking away. Last night you were talking until very late with Tig and probably you didn't sleep much longer than three hours.

He's not jealous. But he is. But he's not gonna tell you. But you feel it. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's annoying. You come closer with the intention of giving him a kiss on his cheek, next to his lips, before he pushes his face away under a deathly silence that is going to give you some problems today. You try again, and again, till you notice how he's hiding a smile.

“I could do it all the fuckin' day, until you kiss me”. You say proudly, and he already knows it. “Kiss me”. You demand in a whisper with pursed lips, and his eyes challenging you. Your fist goes straight to his shoulder, making him rub it with a mock wince on his face. “Kiss me, you fuckin' jerk!”

“You're so aggressive. You should work on that”. He finally says, making you frown.

“‘YOU’ are calling me aggressive? Seriously?”

Lying his back on the chair, he nods very sure about his words. Fortunately or unfortunately, when he's about to kiss you, with his lips so desperately close to yours, your name sounds through the megaphone. It's been thirty minutes since you came and probably your hand is gonna fall into pieces, if they don't clean it quickly.

Crossing the hallway, you go to the indicated query, having a seat on the hospital gurney unwrapping your hand to show the wound. The nurse moves a small side table, having a look before healing you.

“What happened?” Shanon asks wetting a cotton with alcohol.

“I was working in the workshop, with the bikes”. You say, while your friend shakes his head starting to clean it. “It was with one of the bodies”.

“You're coming to the dinner, tonight?” She inquiries, while Happy is on the opposite corner against the wall.

“Yea'course!”

Wednesday is for girls, because Thursday is your free day. You and your crew meet at Shannon house to have some dinner together, before go to drink some beers in Charming. Usually, you end at Happy's house.

Five minutes later, your hand is covered by a bandage. The nurse gives you a prescription for some analgesics in case you continue feeling pain on it. With a kiss on her cheek, you head out having a look at your hand, moving your fingers for a second. Happy walks by your side, opening you every door on your way, to avoid you have to do unnecessary efforts.

“You wanna me 'ride you home?” He asks, helping you with the helmet.

“Club, please. I've to talk with Chibs”.

He nods. Man of few words. Sometimes it's maddening. But you take advantage of a traffic light a red, tightening your arms a little more on his waist, to kiss his nape dearly. He tries to avoid it pulling away as he can, making you laugh.

“Stop, I'm pissed off”.

“Why? 'Cause I was talking with Tig? He called me, why didn't you?”

He doesn't answers, rolling your eyes with a heavy snort. Dealing with Happy is fucking hard sometimes. He's not the kind of man that talks a lot, mostly in silence listening and judging. And you like it, but just sometimes. And of course, not in a moment like this one.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

“Ya' good, kid?” Chibs walks towards you, hitting softly your forehead with the palm of his hand. “What 'da docta' said?”

“That I should rest the hand today and tomorrow. But I finished your motorbikes, so it's practically like I'm enjoying my free days”.

“If Friday ya' don' feel rai', stay at home. Or come to see us. Three days without ya' is pretty much”. He nods, putting an arm on your shoulders in a warm hug. 

“Wanna whisky, ah?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Hey, what happened”. Tig goes out of the main hallway, walking next to you to take your hand carefully.

“Just a cut”. You shrugs, even if he looks worried.

“Yea', if she had slept more hours, she wouldn' have been distracted”. Happy says, 'cause of course he can't keep his mouth closed as always.

“I'm not talking to you”. He replies with a frown.

“But she's my girl and it's your fault, shithead”.

“What?” You're not sure if your asking for the first thing that he just said, or about the second one.

“And why it's my fault, genius?”

“'Cause she couldn' sleep enough, listening your cocky problems about which legs you should open, 'cause hers are closed”. Happy is sitting calm on a chair, raising his feet and supporting them on the table.

“Ya' know? I'm gonna fuck you up, man!” Tig is angry, looking that the poisoned dart of the other has hit him right where he wanted.

“C'mon! 'Am fuckin' wishing kick your ass!”

Two deer fighting, horns against horns, in a time of constant mating. This is what it looks like, when you have to push them away from the other.

“You're not gonna fuck her! Put those words in your fuckin' damaged brain!” Happy is truly screwed, pointing him with a finger.

“Gentlemen, stop!” Chibs yells sharply, before taking a deep breath. “(Y/N), have Happy and get him the fuc' outta my clubhouse”.

You obey, with your hands on his chest to pull him out. But you know he's not gonna talk to you. Not after you didn't say anything to Tig, feeling like you're defending him. He's walking fast to his motorbike, but so are you, grabbing his forearm to make him stop his footsteps.

“Hey! What has come?”

Happy is staring at you with an impassive grimace on his face.

“What was that I'm your girl?”

“Aren' you?” He asks curious waiting for an answer.

“No, 'cause you didn't tag me”.

“And I'm not gonna do it. It's not necessary. Everyone knows what's between us”.

“Tig does, the bitches around the Sons' don't”. You weren't going to say it, but you couldn't help, spitting it out at last.

The man rolls his eyes taking the helmet of the top of his motorbike. You push his shoulder, calling his attention again.

“Say it!” You shout at him, really upset with the situation, hoping that he finally makes it real.

But there are no words coming out of his mouth, starting the bike before leaving you there alone. You bit your cheek inside, assuming it's over. And hurts. It hurts a lot actually.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

For the first time in years, you're missing the girls night. You're not in a good mood for drink with them, preferring to lie down on the sofa with some tv show that you aren't paying attention to and a big bowl of ice cream resting on your belly.

It's not that difficult, and you don't know why the hell he doesn't say ‘yes, you're my girlfriend’. You feel jealous too, with all these women walking towards the club almost naked, but you have never said anything, drowning your feelings until you couldn't help it anymore. Is he afraid of something? Or, does it mean he only says what you wanna listen to take you to bed?

Some knocks on the front door have your attention, leaving a sigh hoping that it's not a workshop emergency. Leaving the bowl on the table, you go barefoot to the entry, opening it. Happy is there, staring at you.

“Not today, Satan”. You roll your eyes, with the intention of closing the door on his nose, 'cause you're not going to listen the bullshit he has to say.

“I gotta go some days”. He says hoarsely. “Stockton need us. I came to say goodbye”.

Yes, he always does. He drives to your house, gives you a kiss and asks you if you're gonna wait for him, even if he knows that you're going to.

“Enjoy the ride”.

“You're fuckin' annoying, you know?”

“Yes, it's a god's gift”.

“Why is so important to you that I tag you as my ‘girlfriend’?

“If you have to ask, then you don' get it, Happy. And the only reason why are you so jealous of Tig, is because you're fuckin' possessive. Not because of you care about me”.

“You know what I feel for you, don' play fool”.

“No, I'm not. And I'm tired of being your ‘maybe yes, maybe not’, flaco. So it's over. Enjoy your ride”.

You close the door without giving him the chance to reply, holding your tears inside your eyes until you hear the roar of his motorbike.

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

One week has passed. He called you and texted you every day, but you didn't reply. So, when you find him at six am at the door of the workshop, it doesn't surprise you. Keeping the headphones in your pocket and throwing away the cigar, you unlocked the big door of the garage, pressing the button of the remote control. And yes, you're ignoring him, but he's waiting to go in the workshop to talk.

Leaving your bag on the main desk, giving him your back, you hear how the metal shutter goes down again. You snort shaking your head for a second, turning on the laptop to check what's on your day.

“You're gonna give me the treatment silent?”

“I have work to attend, Happy. If your bike doesn't need anything, leave”.

“You don' have nothing to do till seven. I asked Matt”. He catches your lie. “We need to talk”.

“No, we don't”. Turning at him, you rest your waist against the desk cross-armed. “I told you what was tormenting me, and you shit in”.

“You wanna hear it? Fine. You're my girlfriend”.

“No, I'm not, Happy. I was”. You sentence. “In past”.

“You are. In present. And you will. In future”. He adds walking towards you. And, even if he looks calmed, he's fucking pissed off. “And I care 'bout you, not only 'bout your pussy”.

“And when did you realize that? After one week practically ignoring your bullshit?” You join to shorten the distance between both, facing him.

He doesn't say anything keeping your gaze.

“You're like a fuckin' mime five years old”. You joke on him in a bad mood. “When you get bored of a toy, you pull it away. And when someone takes the toy, you get furious 'cause you don' have the balls to fight for it”.

“I'm here”. He says, pretending that it's enough for you, pointing his chest with both hands.

“Yea' like a fuckin' statue”.

Losing his mind, he takes off the heavy gold ring out of his finger, putting it in your forefinger 'cause is the only one where fits in without falling off.

“Everybody knows that it's mine. You got it. 'See what it means?”

“I see what it means for the world, but not for me”. You're pushing him into the limits of his patience, till you got what you really want. “Who hurt you so bad that you're not capable of saying ‘I love you’ when you love someone? I'm not asking you to say it all the fucking time, I'm good making it real by just one damn time”.

“These are only words. And I think I've shown you in the last few months”.

“Fuck off, Happy”. You say tired of the talk that is not going to anywhere, taking off the ring and pressing it against his chest.

But before you can continue with your task, he puts his hands around your body pushing you against him. His furious mouth finds yours in a kiss full of anger, guiding you to the nearest table. And even if you want to pull him away, you can't. You missed Happy and you're fucking weak. The ring falls on the floor when you place your hands on his head.

“You're like a fuckin' nightmare”. He groans turning you, to stick your back to his chest, before pull down your jeans as he does with his. “But I fuckin' love you”.

Those words sounds like a sweet melody dancing in your ears, being interrupted when he thrusts his cock inside you making you moan needy. One of his hands travel to your hair, getting tangled in it to tie you arching your back, while he uses the other to stimulate your clit. You don't have much time, but the enough one for an angry quickly to mark his territory again, in case you forgot it.

“Shit, love... You're so fuckin' wet and so fuckin' hot”. He gasps hoarsely in your ear, with your hands clinging on his nape. “'You missed me, uh? 'You missed your flaco?”

“Fuck... 'course I did”. You say with your eyes closed.

With his free hand, he pushes your back on the table making you lie on. Pounding you hard, listening the dry sound that his abdomen produces against your buttocks, he clings his fingers on your hips. You're so close and he knows it when your legs start to tremble.

Happy holds your throat with a hand, getting you up putting your back against his chest, moving faster and deeper, with the free arm around your body.

“Fuck... don' stop... don' stop”. You beg as he loves hearing you.

“Cum for me, love”. He demands you, biting your shoulder and leaving a slight trail of saliva in the mark he's making.

And he doesn't need to ask twice. Crying out his name, without mattering if someone hears you, the orgasm shakes every inch of your body making it burn. But Happy doesn't stop till he fills you completely with a growl full of desire drowned in your neck.

You rest your arms on the edge of the table, with his forehead against your nape and his warm breath bristling your skin, taking a break in which you both recover. He pulls himself away of you, making you moan one last time, to take a rag and clean all the mess. But you're gonna take a shower anyway. Getting dressed again, Happy picks up the ring from the ground, putting it back in your forefinger.

“You're fuckin' beautiful after bein' fucked by me”. He says proudly, leaving a kiss on your cheek with one of his hands in the other. You hold it, closing your eyes for a second, drawing a smile on your face. “Only ‘your flaco’, love”.

You lick your lips nodding, seeing how he presses the button to raise the metal shutter again.

“Good luck working with those shaky legs”.

“You fuckin' disgrace...” You chuckle crossing your arms on your chest.

“Yea', but you love me”. He shrugs with no gesture on his face, as always like a statue, walking away from the workshop.

[shinymooncolor]

Heyy I LOVE THESE CHATS BABE C-Can we have more Cap + Re? Maybe some Dumo too?🥺❤️👉👈 Either way they're so much fun to read! You have such a beautiful creative mind! Love it!

HI! Of course - I was writing up this little bowl of fluff. :)

@lumosinlove‘s Sweater Weather wolfstar fluff featuring several of her lovely OC’s. 

This is for @siriuslyqueer - I can’t fix everything but here’s a dose of fluffy shenanigans to help a little bit <3. 

Sweater weather chats #7. 

Kris has a blinddate. Remus has an emergency. And he gets a sugar daddy. Sirius babysits. Dumo tries to be sneaky. Logan tattles. Leo shows graphic images. Ava is adorable. 

Enjoy <3 

Friday 3.43 pm

Kris: Hey Re, I’m sorry this is last minute, but I’ve sort of gotten dragged into this blind date thing with Olli and I’ve run out babysitting options. I’d bail on the date but I’m honestly scared what Nado will do as I lost a bet… 

Remus: Of course Kris, when do you need me to look after Ava? 😌

Kris: well it’s tomorrow night… they set it up for 8, so will try and rush it…

Remus: no it’s alright! She can stay. It’s no problem at all or do you want me to go to your house? 

Kris: well, if she’s going to sleep on her own, it’ll be best at ours. I’ll promise to get back and let you go out and live your best kid free life! Haha 😅

Remus: I’d love to! Sirius wants to come too, is that ok?

Kris: haha of course, Ava loves him… It’s unfair.. 

Remus: he’s got that effect on everyone. it’s impossible not to like him. I’m biased. But still! Everybody loves Cap! 

Kris: Thanks Re… and yeah, haha he’s a good one our cap 😉

———

Saturday 4.22 pm

Mom: hi love, I’m so sorry to text this urgently but Jules crashed his bike and is in the hospital with a concussion. He’s inconsolable and asking for you. I know you’ve probably got plans but is there any chance you can fly out here? We’ll help pay for the ticket. 

Remus: Of course!!! Is he okay? What happened? I’m looking at tickets now!!! 

Mom: thanks love. Let me know ok? ❤️❤️❤️

———

Remus ❤️: Shit sorry!!! I have to get to home now!! Jules crashed on his bike and he’s got a concussion… I’m looking at tickets!! And I promised Kris we’d babysit… Fuck I feel so bad!!! 😫

Sirius <3: hey! What? Do you want me to come with you? 

Remus ❤️: I’m sorry but I think it’s best if I go alone. Shit, I want you to come but. You’ve got that interview tomorrow and I don’t know how long I have to stay and there’s practice. I’ve cleared the next few days with the management team. You have practise!! Sorry 🥺❤️❤️

Sirius <3: that’s ok Re. No worries. I hope Jules will be alright. I know tickets are expensive and BEFORE you say no. Please let me pay ok? I just looked online and there’s only first class left. Just charge it to my card, it’s on the table in your kitchen I think. 

Remus ❤️: absolutely not. I might call when he’s better so he can say hi. I bet that’ll help. I’m not charging it to your card. 

Sirius <3: Re please. It’s not a problem and I want to help. How about it’s a loan? 

Remus ❤️: I’m not going to owe you money. It’s fine. I’ve saved up some for emergencies.. I’m not taking charity 

Sirius <3: awww. What if I was your sugar daddy? 😉 We could find a way for you to pay off your debts. 

Remus ❤️:STOP! I’m not even going to think about this. But fine. I’ve charged your card. Better send a list of demands then. Daddy… 

Sirius <3: 😛😛😛😛that’s hot. fuck. 

——— 

Saturday 6.34 pm

Remus: Kris I’m so sorry but I’ve had a family emergency and have to fly home ASAP. 

Kris: whoa are you alright? What happened, is everyone ok? It’s fine, I’ll cancel! 

Remus: I’m so sorry!!! 

Remus: Sirius says he’s happy to come over an babysit 😊

Kris: oh..

Kris: sorry yeah okay.. That’s fine.. Ava does love him! 

Remus: You wound me krissy - you don’t think I can babysit your baby????🤨

Kris: what? Did you steal Re’s phone..

Remus: I’m driving him to the airport. Or he’s driving so I’m texting for him. I can babysit fine. I’ll come over once I’ve dropped off Re. We’re going to have fun!!! 

Kris: thanks Sirius. It means a lot 😊

Remus: well you need to get some action. As your captain I command you to go out there and get some. 

Kris: you sound like Nado. 

Remus: normally that would scare me. But he’s not wrong. You deserve to be with someone okay? ☺️

Kris: thanks Cap! See you soon I guess :) Ava is excited to see you. She’s asking if you want to watch beauty and the beast with her. 

Remus: TALE AS OLD AS TIMEEEE

Kris: see ya! 

———

Saturday 7.21 pm

Kris: hey cap forgot a few things. 1) She can’t sleep with the purple bunny wearing a baby Kuny shirt. Yes I know. The jerk got it for her last time they baby sat and she’s screaming bloody murder when I try to replace with my shirt. 2) she can have the one pudding in the fridge, no more than one 3) she pretends not to know French when she’s shy but be careful, she’s fluent… tricked Nado last time and she knows some unsavoury words now.. 

Sirius: thanks buddy but I got this. Used to babysit for Dumo you know. She’s braiding my hair :))))

———

Saturday 7.22 pm 

Dumo: Kris, you still need a babysitter? Adele can watch Ava tonight. 

Kris: no it’s fine, thanks! Sirius is watching her at home 😊

Dumo: Cap is watching? Is Remus there? 

Kris: no he had something come up. It’s just Sirius 😊

———

Saturday 7.25 pm

Dumo: LOGAN TREMBLAY PICK UP YOUR PHONE WHEN I CALL😡😡😡

Logan: WHOA calm down old man. What’s up? We’re watching a film… 

Dumo: I need you to drive to mine and pick up some cupcakes and then go check on Sirius and Ava. 

Logan: what? Re is there right? 

Dumo: no. just do as I say for once… 

Logan: calm down. I’ll go. Leo is driving. Is Adele home? 

Dumo: yes. And please also check she’s not got “secret” guests. She was very eager to get us to leave. I count on you and Marc to tattle on her. 

Logan: hehe I’ll check. And I’ll scare any potential suiters away. 😏

Dumo: maybe let Leo scare them. Most of the class mates are taller than you. I also called Kasey. Him and nat are checking in too. 

Logan: 😬🤨rude

——

Saturday 8.22 pm

Sirius <3: REMUS THEY’RE ALL CHECKING ON ME?!?!?!?!? NAt and Kase came by to “borrow” a shovel?! THEY LIVE IN A FLAT... That’s the lamest excuse since Leo claimed that hickey on his belly button was from his shaver. He’s got like three body hairs. 😳

Saturday 9.02 pm

Sirius <3: Re, you landed yet? Now Logan and the rest of the muppets are here. With cupcakes. And a cranky car full of Dumo babies. NO ONE TRUSTS ME WITH BABIES

Remus ❤️: I’m sure they’re just checking to see if you’re all okay 😌Be happy your team cares so much. 

Sirius <3: it mean. We had fun. Look she braided my hair 

*sirius with braids by 5-year old Ava*

Sirius <3: I want to keep her. Can we get one? 

Remus ❤️: SIRIUS. Do you want me to get a heart attack? We’re barely out. 

Sirius <3: so. I want to keep her. Hehe 

Remus ❤️:I think you hit your head. But yes. Grab her and run. We can live here 🥰

Sirius <3: 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

——

Saturday 8.33 pm

Siriusly: YOU ALL THINK I CAN’T BABYSIT? WE WERE DOING FINE BEFORE YOU SENT THESE PEOPLE TO CHECK ON US 

DumoDad: I don’t know what you’re talking about. 

CarbO’Hara: haha you’re not subtle Dumo. Also you’ve got your own problems. HAHA 

DumoDad: WHAT DID SHE DO NOW? I swear to god that girl is worse than the lot of you combined. 😡

Newt-leo: she was just studying with a classmate calm down. IF it helps, I showed them pictured from Celeste’s pregnancy book. Adele vowed to never talk to me again. But rules are rules. 😏

LoganTremblayzzz: I warned her Dumo. Hehe don’t worry Leo chased him off with the book. It’s overly graphic. 🥴🥴🥴🥴

Siriusly: BACK TO THE POINT YOU DON’T TRUST YOUR CAPTAIN!!! THAT’S SUICIDES FOR THE LOT OF YOU TOMORROW 

RussianGod: what I do? 😦

Siriusly: you probably did something else to warrant suicides buddy. 

——

Sunday 10.22 am

Kris: Hey Sirius! I’m really sorry about yesterday. Ava is asking when she can next see you :) Thanks! 

Sirius: no worries buddy. But this doesn’t get you out of suicides. ❤️

Kris: worth a shot

Sirius: 😉 you are cute but you’ve got nothing on tour daughter. She’s a menace when she turns the puppy eyes. 

Kris: tell me about it. She’s currently decorating Nado’s arms with glitter cause his tattoos “are too dark Jackie” - apparently she can call him that…

Sirius: she’s adorable 😊 you’re lucky, both of you! 

Kris: thanks cap!! 

——

Sunday 4.56 pm

Remus ❤️: hey babe. Jules is doing ok. You wanna call him? He’s asking for you 😍

Sirius <3: just call! 🥰

[werezmastarbucks]

portland

honeymoon masterlist

word count: 2731

music: silently by axel flovent, tear in my heart by twenty one pilots

You got tired of driving at around two in the morning. Somehow Kennewick did not satisfy neither of you in terms of sleeping. Perhaps it was the road, nervousness of traveling, and Kai’s indifference about the current situation you got stuck in, but as soon as he snuggled against you at eleven o’clock, you felt all the sleep has escaped you like a butterfly that leaps away. He was already deep in sleep, when you decided you wanted to drive at night, and Parker was sorely unhappy about getting out of bed. While you still had moral high ground as leverage on him, while it worked, you elected to use it. Then, a couple of hours later, the tiredness returned in full swing, and you stopped in the middle of the highway (the liberating truth was that you could now stop at any point while driving, without even thinking) and made him switch seats with you. 

The portable loudspeaker he had manufactured out of a big boombox was incredibly loud and workable, and you prepped it just below the windshield. As you drifted into sleep you were thinking about how practically useful this boy can actually be, and how underrated his skills were back in the real world. Even without magic he was extremely handy. He was an amazing cook, he was insanely masterful with electronics, he was more savvy about the internet than you, the child of the web world...

You woke up because he whispered right into your ear, the most gentle order you’ve ever received in your life,

“Wake up now”.

Your neck ached, crooked unnaturally, but, as you opened your eyes, you saw what he woke you up for. Kai seemed relatively unaffected, probably having seen this a million of times; perhaps there was already an alarm clock in his head going off when it was the time for sunset. It was a first for you, though. You were already in Portland, and the car was lazily crawling along the street as the sleepy houses passed you by. Bright pink and raspberry was blooming in the sky indicating the new day, again. The light was so intense that, when you caught the reflection of yourself in the rearview mirror, you saw the shade of red on your own face. Your eyes looked sleepy and foggy. 

“Are we there yet?”

“Yeah. Are you hungry? It’s almost time for breakfast”.

You looked at the electronic wristwatch you nicked from an Epson store. It was a real nineties neat cute wrist watch, and it had lighting button which drove you insane. 

“It’s not even five yet. You’re always hungry”.

“I’ve been driving for nearly three hours. It’s draining. You fell asleep in my car, I drove the whole time, but that’s okay, I’ll just avoid the holes, so you sleep fine”, he declared. You couldn’t hold back a chuckle. He gestured towards the speaker.

“That was a good song”.

“It’s my car”, you argued benevolently, feeling very kind after three hours’ sleep. Due to the fact that Kai has been decent enough to just drive the car without waking you up. And the fact he even turned down the music a little.

“I stole it”.

“You didn’t steal it. It had no owner”, Kai replied. 

He stopped the car in a romantic gesture, and you two drowned in the morning silence, ever quieter than it even was before. The wind lay still, and no bugs buzzed in the grass. You left the car just to be in the moment, to step on the ground and feel its matter, and raised your face to the sky. This was all for you and you only, and that was the first time you asked yourself,

why do they even consider this torture?

The Parker house turned out to be more like a palace. Your head swung back and forth comparing Kai with the wedding cake looking family dwelling, trying to picture him on the porch. There was a traditional old oak that yearned swings, and the big lawn, greener than that of the Salvatore’s possession. There was whiteness of the façade and the depth of the invisible basement.

Soon Kai crawled up the stairs, and sighed, in the yellowish glow of the waking skies. 

“Welcome back home”, he murmured. You tried reading his face to see if it’s hard for him, but then reminded yourself he’s been here already, probably many times.

He’s been suspiciously tolerable these first days, you thought to yourself quietly as you wandered wordless through the living room. The first red flag fluttered in your mind when you threw a look at the banisters of the stairs leading up, and saw two ropes tied to them; they hung down, empty, with loops, like dead cat tails.

“Kai, why is it here?” you asked. The boy was already head first into the fridge in the kitchen.

He walked back to you, and sighed knowingly.

“Oh, yes. They kept the house as I left it at night. As a reminder. Go up the stairs, there’s still blood on the walls, and everything. Let’s go”.

He suddenly grabbed your hand with determination, and you sensed, on the run, like he needed to hold it. Not to guide you. You ran up the stairs, and you threw a quick look at the living room, amazed at the normality of it. One would think Malachai Parker’s house would look horrific, but his tragedy was very American. Pretty cover, bloody insides. The living room had two big couches (big family, it used to be), a very curious L shaped coffee table, and a fireplace. On the shelf above, there was a neat row of photographs of the family: everyone but Malachai, of course. They wished to forget he existed, for one reason or another. Kai’s hand led you on and you went into the long, spacious wooden hall of the second floor out of three: the blood on the walls was fresh, it glistened in the first cloud light. The patterns were thick and wide, like Kai’s been deliberately pouring it around; on the floor, there was a faint trace of his bloodied steps and something else, like he was dragging... a baseball bat? with him.

You tried not to step on the blood. The little window at the end of the hall was covered with a curtain, so it was bleak. 

“Here”, he said enthusiastically. It was obvious Kai has been psyched that someone would share the whole thing with him. No matter what part of prison it was: whether the beautiful sunrises of Washington, or the evidence of the massacre he conducted in his own house.

“Wow, whose room was it?”

“The twins. Luke and Liv”, he pushed the door to let you in. The bed was turned on the side, and there was a puddle of blood under it. The wardrobe was thrashed. 

“This is where I stabbed Jo. She hid them from me with the cloaking spell. I made her talk...” Kai muttered. His eyes were opaque, and he was focused on the memory. His sight shifted under the window.

“The-ere it is”, the witch stepped to the dark spot and picked up the bat, wrapping his fingers around the handle. There was blood on the tip of it. He swung the bat in the air in a motion that made you understand he could be a baseball star. Could have been. 

“And the banisters? Who was there?”

“I hung Ashley and Sam”, he said, putting the bat back against the wall. You observed the room. His siblings, they all had names. Ashley, Sam... those who made it to the future, the twins and his own personal enemy, Josette, felt more real because you have met them. You were there when Kai merged with Luke, you witnessed his death. But to think that some of the Parkers were left in the ninety-four, hung down from the stairs, and they were children who had names... Ashley and Sam. You didn’t even know whether Sam was a boy or a girl. You asked him.

“They were best friends, Sam and Ash. Samantha was two years older than Ashley, and she was so uptight I think somebody would have killed her one way or another. She was unbearable. So bitter she didn’t have a twin, she told everybody Ashley was her age, and that they were twins, although everyone in the coven knew they weren’t”.

“She was just a child, Kai. She wanted to be a part of this important thing, too”, you shrugged.

“Yeah, so did I. You wanna see my parents’ bedroom?”

He probably saw it in your eyes that you were slowly growing anxious about the whole murder night replay. 

“What did you do to your mom?”

“I stabbed her in the throat. She had to go first, she was a very powerful witch”, Kai said quietly, watching you closely. He was cruel in a way, leading you deeper into the bleak reality of his, trying you, curious as to how much you can take. 

“I made a mistake with dad. Should’ve stabbed him, too, but I thought I’d be untrivial, and I poisoned him. Which obviously backfired right into my face”.

Kai put his hand through his dark hair, and you realized his eyes are glowing nervously.

“What made you snap?”

“When our birthdays were coming up, I realized they’d never let us merge. Even Jo herself didn’t want it. Just so you understand, merging and even dying, as a Gemini twin, is the biggest event of your life. Even if you lose, you’re not gone. You live through your twin. You give them your power”.

You weren’t saying anything. He went on,

“You think I’m inherently evil?” there wasn’t a trace of indignation in his voice; just sheer curiosity. He never had a chance to ask that anybody. He never had this conversation. He just didn’t know at all. “They always told me I was”.

“There’s no such thing as evil, Kai. It’s a tale created for kids, to make them afraid of giving in to their instincts. There’s only pain and its consequences”.

You looked away not to seem too invested. You wondered how one can let a fellow human go on for nearly fifty years with such a grave misconception about themselves; how one can allow such violence upon their own child. Violence and negligence so intense it makes them act out so aggressively, so loudly. Every single blood stain, every broken wooden thing, every swing of a bat in the hands of now twenty-two year old Malachai, was a cry, not a roar of evil deed. He was so disfigured. He was so wounded he had to inflict pain on others to be heard. And yet they didn’t hear anything except their own screams. 

You wanted to ask him the same question, am I bad for liking you so much? But you knew he had no answer. Kai was very knowledgeable about many things; he understood many things you didn’t, but he knew nothing about the philosophy of morale. He had no deep feelings, he had no deep core in him. It was burnt clean long time ago. 

Am I evil for not feeling sorry for the kids you hung from the banisters? 

Am I bad for rooting for you when you were merging with Luke?

Am I bad for siding with you against my oldest friends?

Am I bad for being the only one who gave you the benefit of the doubt, just for the sake of being the only one?

After all, it takes just one person to keep someone from breaking. But when Malachai finally killed his family, when he reached the breaking point to never be innocent again, you were still a month away from being born. 

“Take the books outside”, you asked him.

Kai looked up from the table. He was reading diligently, not skipping pages, and watching him got tedious after three hours. While he was on it, you trod through the front and back yard; made sandwiches; studied the pictures of the kids; sneaked into the basement and got horrified at the sight of Kai’s ‘room’ there. 

(Yeah, it became my room for a while, he yapped from the kitchen. He laughed at your eyes, widened in horror, yeah, it was real pain. They kept me there when they had people over... pretended I don’t exist)

His real room used to be upstairs, underneath the roof, but it became Jo’s space eventually, and there was no trace of Malachai there. It was sad how there were so very few signs of the oldest child in the house. No posters, no shoes at the door, no jackets, no used tissues, no sports awards. No clothes, no mess, no boy things, no magazines, no CDs, no skateboard. There was a TV in the basement, and a bed, a nightstand, and a couple of comic books in the drawers of it, and you felt there was a huge chunk of Kai missing, as if they had got rid of all the things reminding of him, as if it was him who died. 

“Take the books outside”.

“Why?”

“I’m tired. I want to sleep. Let’s go into the city, find a hotel or a big house, and you can read there”.

Kai looked around as if saying, isn’t it the house enough?

You didn’t know how to explain to him that staying in this place was terrible. Kai clearly missed this place although you didn’t know what he was holding on to. The family he missed was clearly an illusion. He craved the real bond, the concept of loving community, not the actual Parker people. 

“I want to burn down this house”.

He tilted his head and his mouth twitched. 

“Have you ever done it?”

“Why would I burn my own house?” 

“You’ve spent eighteen years here, and...”

“Look”, he put up his palms defensively, “obviously, you are a very creative individual with a different way of thinking, and I haven’t done half of the things you come up with, while I was here, but if you’re gonna ask me this question every time you have an idea...”

“You know fire is cleansing, right? You should know, you’re able to control it. Isn’t fire an important element of witchery?”

“Mhm”.

He wasn’t offended by the idea. He was just a little susprised. 

As Kai stepped outside, bringing the last books into the trunk of the (ugly) Buick parked in the driveway, you watched him there on the lawn. Maybe he really was the cancer his family made him to be. He looked like a hyena looking around for a dying animal to chew on. He despised this place, and its lightness, and the fact his surviving relatives thought of the exquisite way of reminding him about what he’s done. And he went around busily, like a bee mama, at the same time.

The house still reeked of blood, and frankly, you didn’t know how he could even think about sleeping here. 

You threw a match on the couch, and another one down into the basement. You knew the house would restore as soon as midnight comes, but by that time you’ll be far away from here. Wherever the books send you to. 

You’ve never seen a house on fire so close. The heat was burning your face, and you knew it burns Kai, too, so you pulled on his hand to make him step away. 

“What sucks the most is that I had every right to merge with her”, Kai said suddenly. You had to step closer to hear him over the immense screech and cracking of the house.

There was deep, pure hatred in his voice as he spoke about his sister. You realized that his bitterness about her betrayal is still fresh, and the merge did nothing to heal it. It was personal. She was his to kill.

“I would’ve shown her if she only had given me a chance. You know? Nobody believed I could win, because I’m a siphoner. But if they only gave me a chance, I would’ve tried my best and I would’ve been a good coven leader”.

“You are already”, you said. Kai squeezed your fingers with his stiff palm.

“Once we get out”, he said, dead eyes staring into you, “there’ll be no coven. I will end every single one of them”.

[nachotrash]

MORE INCORRECT QUOTES WITH MY MOOTS

ft: @catchmewiddershins @lilikags and @paradise-creator // no haikyuu boys this time

Pauline: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Wid, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

------------------

Pauline: We're having a baby. Shiyu: Oh, congradu- Wid, slamming adoption papers onto teh table: It's you, sign here.

---------------

Pauline: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Shiyu, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Wid, whispering: Because I have little hands. Shiyu: Because they have little hands.

------------------

Wid: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

--------------

Lili: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

---------------

Wid: Pros and cons of dating me. Wid: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Wid: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

(cons. you're the smart one😔)

----------------

Shiyu: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?

-------------

Pauline: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.

-------------

Shiyu: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

(*lipbites in 166 cm*)

--------------

Wid: I don't dab. I stab.

(nOw WhEarE HAvE i SeEn ThIs BeFoRe)

----------------

Shiyu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

(t-pose to assert dominance)

---------------

Shiyu, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because... Shiyu, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

(lmao baby nacho really be bold)

--------------------

Shiyu: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

------------------

Lili: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.

----------------

Pauline: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

--------------

Pauline: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Pauline: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

(we are the squad now)

---------------

Lili: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

---------------

Wid: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Wid: I need my socks.

------------------

Pauline: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

(yes yes you are how dare you)

------------

Shiyu: Yeah I'm LGBT. Shiyu: cuLt leader. Shiyu: God hates me personally. Shiyu: cowBoy hat. Shiyu: *sniffles* Trying my best.

(my asexual ass be like;)

-------------

Wid: *plays shreksophone* Wid: Woo. Wid: Time to listen to this on loop for all eternity. Shiyu: ...Genius coping mechanism my friend

---------------

Shiyu: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Pauline: Killed without hesitation.

----------

Pauline: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

---------------

Pauline: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

-----------------

Pauline: I hate Lili. Shiyu: "Hate' is a strong word. Pauline: I have strong opinions.

(oh no)

----------

Wid: How does that even work? Shiyu, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?! Wid: Your face doesnt make sense.

(...fair enough)

------------

Pauline: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

-----------

Pauline: My stomach growled super loud in French. Pauline: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Shiyu: Bonjour. Lili: Le growl. Wid: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

(reminds me of the 'ill speak french between your legs' tumblr legend and im wheezing)

------------------

Shiyu: *tapping fingers on table* Lili: *taps fingers back furiously* Wid: …What’s going on? Pauline: Morse code. They’re talking. Shiyu: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - Lili: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

-----------------

Shiyu: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Wid, Lili, & Pauline: Okay. Shiyu: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Wid: Bold of you to assume I have money. Lili: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Pauline: Bold of you to assume I can die.

(pauline is a goddess. goddesses cant die)

------------------

Lili: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Wid: Strong. Shiyu: Weak. Pauline: An idiot, is what your are.

(as long as you dont flinch or scream youre strong. unless you get punched in the gut by someone like ushijima ofc)

--------------------

Shiyu: Those darn tall old people. Wid: Darm em' indeed. Pauline: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough. Lili: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead. The Squad: Lili: Hahaha. Lili: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?

-----------------

Wid: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Pauline. They're mad at you. Pauline: No, it's Shiyu. They're just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Shiyu: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. Lili: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Shiyu: I stand by my choice.

------------------

Wid: What do we think of Shiyu? *pause* Lili: *sighs* Nice pal. Pauline: I think they're gay.

=------------

Wid: Where is Shiyu? Pauline: I'll do you one better, who is Shiyu?? Lili: Here's a better question, why is Shiyu?

(i dont know man. ive been trying to figure it out for the last few years)

--------------

Wid: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake? Wid & Lili: One, two, three- Wid & Lili: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks! Shiyu: Our turn, Pauline! One, two, three- Shiyu: Vanilla! Pauline: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake?

----------------

Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Wid: A doll. Shiyu: A cinnamon roll. Lili: A sweetheart. Pauline: Pauline: ...stop it.

(cant deny the truth bby)

---------------

Wid, Pauline & Shiyu: *screaming* Lili: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Shiyu?! Wid: Wait, why are you asking Shiyu that when Pauline and I are also here? Lili: Because Shiyu wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

(i mean... its true )

-----------------

Pauline: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Wid: Fucking Shiyu and Lili were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

(manifests dvalin cause i wanna ride on their back and fall off)

-------------------

Lili: Wake me up- Wid: Before you go go Shiyu: When September ends Pauline: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

(cant wake up- WAKE ME UP INSIDE)

--------------------

Shiyu, watching Pauline & Lili panic : What's going on? Wid: Pauline is having a midlife crisis and Lili is just having a crisis.

--------------

Lili: *Gasp* Pauline: wHAT?? Lili: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? Pauline: *inhales* Wid, in another room with Shiyu: Why can I hear screeching?

(shiyu: same shit different day)

----------------------------

Shiyu: Christmas is cancelled. Wid: You can't cancel a holiday. Shiyu: Keep it up, Wid, and you'll lose New Year's too. Wid: What does that mean? Shiyu: Lili, take New Year's away from Wid.

--------------------

Pauline: So, are they your friend or... Lili: They’re like Wid, but if Wid was ordered to be around you. Pauline: Oh, so Shiyu. Lili: Precisely!

(if its about how annoyed i always look then you ahve a point)

----------------

Wid: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Pauline: When have I been paranoid? Wid: Um, when you first met Lili you thought they were an undercover cop…? Pauline: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Wid: And last year you were sure Shiyu was a mermaid! Pauline: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! *Later, when Pauline’s theory is proven wrong* Wid: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Pauline: I still think Shiyu is a mermaid.

(id gladly be one)

--------------------

*Wid drunkenly wanders around the manor and Lili is drunkenly giggling* Shiyu, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Pauline. Pauline, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

----------------

Wid: We need to distract these guys. Lili: Leave it to me. Lili: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Pauline & Shiyu: *immediately begin arguing*

(*pulls out dictionary*)

------------------

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Shiyu, with Wid and Lili behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Shiyu: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Shiyu: Pauline FUCKING FELL OFF!

----------------------

Wid: What is love? Pauline: An emotional minefield. Shiyu: A neurochemical reaction. Lili: Baby don't hurt me.

(BECAUSE FUCK EMOTIONS)

--------------------

Pauline: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Wid: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Lili: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Shiyu: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am no longer taking suggestions.

------------------

Shiyu, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Pauline: Gray. Lili: Grey. Shiyu, turning to Wid: Now tell them what color you think it is. Wid: Dark white.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Dating Jason Todd would include

-YOU ARE LITTLE PRECIOUS BUNNY I SWEAR YOU BRING OUT THE SOFTEST PART OF THIS BROKEN MAN

-like this dude will literally let you get away with ANYTHING and no one better stop you

-“Hey Jay I just robbed a bank and took a lollipop from that kid next door.”

-“Aww you’re so cute, Doll. Let me put out this cigarette and I’ll help you count the money, okay?”

-“Jay, Dick said I can’t have anymore ice pops!!! I really want some, it’s not fair!!”

-“ He said what?! hOld On iM gEtTinG mY Gun nO OnE TelLs mY lItTle Babe sHe caNt haVe anY iCe popS.”

-wearing his thick leather jackets that smell like cigarettes and expensive scotch 

-Stealing his 1/16263819827 Red hoods and waddling around the house while he’s out on patrol

-“Hey I’m RedHood and I have DaDdY IssUes, prepare to diEee!!! *pew pew*”

-“is that how I sound to you?! Because I don’t *pew pew* I *brrraaatratratatataaa* get it correct Y/N”

-Your tough edgy boyfriend 

-If he has an off day, he’ll take you on a ride on his motorcycle to wherever you want to go. If it’d make you happy, he’d drive to Paris for you if he could.

-You guys usually end up drifting by the waterside, taking in the longing smell of the sea, feeling the subtle warmth of the setting sun and melting into the welcoming breeze

-There’s this really good Sandwich stand by the oceanfront and you guys always get a large one, and share it with a nice cold bottle of Coke. There’s also this really nice private beach that you two have no business being on, you guys would sometimes just sit on one of the lifeguards stands for a while and just enjoy each other 

-“Hey Jay Jay?”

-“What’s up, Love bug?

-“Your eyes have a hint of Aqua Green in them. It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. I just wanted you to know that, that’s all.”

-IN HOME CONCERTS EVERY SATURDAY AND OR FRIDAY. 

-every week you guys make a list of your favorite classics and you build a Spotify playlist and dance around the house screaming *cough* I-i mean singing on the top of yalls lungs.

-weird adventures around the city! Like you guys sometimes go to weird parts of the city to see some weird crap to laugh about later on. 

-“Why is he wearing a tutu and dirty socks-“

-“keep walking baby girl don’t question it.”

-monthly movie nights where you guys watch a movie that has crappy 1 star reviews while eating a bunch of unhealthy garbage all night.

-“but why did he do that?”

-“according to ‘moviecridictbooiiii12’, he’s an uncultured swine who has no Character development, 1/10 trash person totally.”

-If you guys are just sitting in a comfortable silence, just cuddling, he might open up a bit about his childhood or maybe talk a bit about how he’s feeling. But that’s a rare rare occasion he doesn’t like talking much about it.

-This sometimes can cause a bit of a rift because it almost feels as if there’s a lack of trust but you understand he’s been through a whole lot and if it were you, you’d probably be the same way

-he does not like pills in the house but if you have health issues and have to take them, he won't crucify you because of it, but he will monitor you and make sure there is no drug abuse. He wants to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself. He doesn't wanna lose you that way.

-He’s a depressed crackhead 

-“Hey Y/N, can you tell me what’s in the drawer in the kitchen. The one next to the sink”

 -“Hmm? There’s nothing in here Jason.”

-“Nothing you say? Just like my relationship with Bruce haha.”

-“Are you okay?”

-“No I am not and neither is my sleep schedule.”

-Oh yeah this Poor boy barely sleeps. Mainly because he’s out on patrol all night and when he finally gets home, he’s being called back out. Or sometimes he’s just so restless thinking about everything he needs to do. Other times he’s just scared to sleep.

-Yeah he’s pretty reluctant to go to sleep. He’s scared to have a bad dream and wake up in a vulnerable state. Or to accidentally wake you up from tossing and turning and wails of agony.

-You lost a lot of hours of sleep already do to comforting him at night so as much as he can function without a nights rest, he’ll do it to spare you

-You hate when he does this because you actually don’t mind comforting him, it makes you feel like he trusts and can rely on you.

-nightmares about the joker or the pit. Cryinggg this boy is really traumatized

-“Shhh, Jason it’ll be alright. I’m right here love.”

-Even though he avoids sleep at all costs, this doesn’t stop him from napping on the recliner or at the kitchen table from time to time.

-He’s a bit self destructive with drinking, smoking, betting himself up, not sleeping or eating properly. You really have to help him and work with him. Be patient and kind pLz.

-He doesn’t like exposing you to the stuff he does, he doesn’t like you seeing all the gore or what not so he doesn’t try to come home bloody much actually. He might stop at dicks house or some other friend’s house to clean up a bit before coming to you

-Todd doesn’t like you to see and be around all that. He wants to keep that life very very separate, he even tries to keep the news off and away from you. Although you already know and if it bothers you it not, it’s not much you can do to stop him.

-The only time you might see him bloody or hurt is when he can’t make it to a friends house and he needs you to patch him up and put him to bed quickly.

-argurmentssss

-Yeah you guys do little annoying antics back and forth but it’s not something super crucial. The only time where it heats up is like if something he’s doing really really bothers you, like his killings or if he does something super reckless. The arguments usually end up with

- “I’m sorry Doll, I’ll do better for you.”

- “Sorry JayBird, I wasn’t being fair” 

-The worst an argument had ever gotten was when he didn’t come home for weeks without telling you he was out on a mission and you were scared out of your mind and ended up cursing him out for scaring you. 

-You didn’t talk to him for about a week and he was a wreck

-“JASON DONT YOU DARE TRY TO KISS ME OR HUG ME I THOUGHT YOU WERE F*CKING DEAD OR WORSE! YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME SOMETHING LIKE I LITERALLY HATE YOU RIGHT NOW I COULDN'T SLEEP FOR WEEEKS JASON I WAS WORRIED SICK-“

-“Hey, it’s okay Y/n- I’m here no-“

-“NO IT'S NOT LITERAL I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE, GET AWAY FROM ME.”

-He cannot stand when he breaks your heart or makes you upset like he beats himself up a whole lot. He will apologize to you and do anything to make it up.

-“Stupid Todd? How can you upset the one person that seems to be so patient and loving to you? Ugh you idiot.”

-yeah he literally kissed up to you for months he felt so bad even after you apologized for overreacting and told him he didn’t need to do anything 

-Yeah speaking of kissing up to you, he Buys you anything you want just ask. Looking at that super nice outfit in the mall? Check your room, it’s on your bed with a cute little note. Want an ice cream sundae? Yeah he got extra fudge/caramel for his princess. 

-He just loves you like so so much he doesn’t care what you look like, how big or how skinny, how light or how dark you are. He literally adores you and wants to protect you with all his heart. He’d buy the whole world for you.

-“Jason, literal listen to me. 600 dollars for a charm bracelet I liked in the mall is too much, go return it”

-he’s a bit overprotective with you. Not in a “HEKDJEHEHEHINEEDTOKNOWWHEREYOUAREATALLTIMESSENPAI.”  Kind of way but in a like “Check in every once in a while will ya babe? I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

-He doesn’t let you go outside after a certain time for ANYTHING unless it’s an emergency. It’s too dangerous in Gotham for you to be out scrolling going to a convenience store at 10pm at night. So if you need something from the store he’ll go get it for you or already have it in the house.

-Will 100 throw hands for you

-actually makes sure you can defend yourself and trains you a bit every month to make sure if trouble comes and he’s not there, you can protect yourself

-Intimacy

-Honhonhon. Although what many believe Jason has a high sex drive and wants it a lot or what not. I don’t think it’s 100% true

-I believe that like if his partner wasn’t the type of person who wanted it, or didn’t feel comfortable with it, he’d be okay with it. Like he doesn’t need it to survive although you look hecking good in that outfit today

-I feel like he’d be more kissy and rough touching than the full 100 yards with a more soft/standoffish sexually significant other. 

-Yeah if he gets from a stressful mission or just needs to feel you, he’s gonna wanna kiss and touch on you but if you’re not into all that then like he’d back off because he respects you enough 

-neck kisses and thigh kisses 

-“jaybirdy I wanted to wear that new skirt I got yesterday, now I got your bites all over my legs.”

-he's a totally Dom and that’s on that period boo

-dAdDy KiNk I’m sorry

-His voice somehow becomes super raspy when he’s aroused?!?!

-He will tease you to a point you moan out his name and then turn around and act innocent 

-“let’s watch Frozen! What’s with that face dear? You didn’t think I’d let you have it that easily now did you?”

-*wears anything short*

-”WOOOOO DAMMNNNN Y/NNNNNN LOOKING FOINE TODAY I SEE YOU! CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER?!?! YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S DAMN LUCKYYY!”

-Highkey finds it so hot when you sit on his lap like damn it feels so nice to him like you know you’re his and that’s like arousing to him. Will play with the hem of your skirt if your wearing them and your thighs aren’t safe

(Anyways I ain’t trynna make this NSFW but I might do a little something for my 200 follower special)

-On a softer purer note, you guys are like the roasters of the fam, okay! Like no one is safe, especially Damian.

-“Tch- Todd and his little pet.”

-“Dami, didn’t know you’d be here, and apparently your hairline didn’t know either.”

-*Jason, Tim and Dick were dying*

-“Hey you little accident, why you standing like that, you look like you’re bout to enlist in the army.” 

-“shut up Todd, at least I have good posture unlike you.”

-“Hey leave Damian alone, Jason. Dami just has a pole in his ass that makes him stand in first position all the time. It’s a serious condition, y’all need to stop laughing.”

-“Hey Selina! Your Sugar Daddy is in the kitchen, try not to steal anything though because he might cut down your weekly allowance.”

-“Haha Y/N and yours is in the living room getting drunk, careful he might end up with me tonight.”

-“Hmm, a gold digger and a cougar? Wow you got your careers set don’t ya! Ooops you should check in the mirror tho! I think your Botox is drooping.”

-yAlL CAnT sTop ROaStinG PeOpLe anD it’S wOrse When yaLls DruNk

-You’re actually pretty close to The BatFam and like Bruce Adores you he thinks you’re a wonderful influence on Jason like you changed him a lot. Dick sees you as a baby sister and like he literally baby’s you so much it’s sad. Tim and you like to joke around a bit and talk you guys get along decently. Although Damian would NEVER admit it, he actually is kinda fond of you even though you guys insult each other. He might stab someone for like hurting you or something. But watch your back because he might stab you as well.

-going to Bruce’s Galas and charity events like by force. 

-“yYyyYYyyY/NnnNnNnNiEeeeEEee PLEaSE COmeEeeee sO iWOnT DrInk MySelF ouT oF tHeRe!!!”

-“Jason let go of my leg.”

-You don’t actually mind it too much, you’ve made some nice connections and plus it’s a little date night with Jason so Win Win!!

-He actually wears a nice Tux and styles his hair real nicely. Might even be wearing that nice watch Bruce gave him a long time ago on his birthday.

-*sniff sniff* is that Cologne? *sniiiiiiffffffff* *HIGHLY* Expensive cologne he’s wearing?! And *pat pat* HAIR GEL OH BOIIII

-He actually picks out a dress for you to wear. One he’s been dying to see you in. The super expensive one he found while shopping with Dick and Bruce one day.

-If some rich guy try’s flirting with you, it’s over for them. Jealous Todd Mode activated!

-“Doll Face, I found you. Love wandering off don’t you babe? When we get home, I’ll make sure you won’t want to wander off again,” He kisses into your ear hungrily “wHo’s tHiS, Y/N? Is he bothEriNg yOu?” He asks like he didn’t see him there

-“No but Jason you are.“

-“:o”

*later*

-“I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID WRONG Y/N!! HE WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU AND I HAD TO INSERT MY DOMINANCE.”

-“JAY HE WAS A BUSINESSMAN LOOKING TO INDORSE ME AND MY WORK! YOU JUST EMBARRASSED ME AND MADE HIM FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!! LITERALLY NOW HE THINKS I HAVE AN OVER POSSESSIVE BOYFRIEND.”

-“oh-“

“YEAH ‘oH’! serIouslY I CanT stAnd yoU.”

-Jason’s drinking and smoking. Let’s just say you’re not the biggest fan of it because of his health, you’re so worried about it. He’s already taking shots and stabs but like the drinking and smoking on top of that? You’re worried about him

-You always voice your concern and he’s never too phased and he’s always like 

-“Don’t worry L/N, I’ll be okay. If this kills me, don’t let Dick take my meat stash in the freezer. Tell him I’m coming back to life in like 3 months give or take and I’ll be hungry for steak.”

-Actual best boyfriend! Like if you’re insecure about anything he’ll make you feel so much better, in every way possible. He makes it so know how much he loves you it’s so sweet and super cute like I’m crying.

-makes weird faces at you randomly and it somehow gets you to laugh?!?! 

-cooks breakfast or dinner for you every once in a while but messes up a few times 

-“sorry y/n I accidentally burnt the cookies I was trying to make for you. I-I can go run and ask Alfred to make some? I know how long you’ve been waiting to have some.”

- Did I mention he’s best boi? Like ugggghhhh he’s so blind to all that superficial mess people get caught up in. You talk down about yourself and he’ll like attack you in love I swear he will. He doesn’t like the self deprecation you do. He completely detests it.

-“Say you’re ugly one more time I’ll slap you with this heart of mine. Don’t make me do it Y/N. I’ll give you so much love, the only thing you’ll be able to say is “Omg I love myself so much like damn I’m so sexy and so fine and my personality? Perfect! thanks  to my totally handsome boyfriend, I see myself so clearly now.”

-You guys Also like spend his birthday with just each other. But it’s really special to him and he always looks forward to the small marble cake you make, that has strawberries on top. He loves when you sit on his lap with your face in the crook of his neck, whispering into his skin ever so gently telling him to ‘make a wish old man’

-something about the birthdays you spend with him, brings him back to a happy place he once felt as a child. Or wanted to feel. He always wishing for the same thing…..to always see you happy

-“Jay I love you.”

-“I love you too Y/N. Remember that okay?”

(Request open)

[aw-eather]

Heather Watches SG1 s7ep13: Grace

Hello friends! I asked on twitter which one you wanted to see next and this was the one so.. I genuinely really enjoy this episode but I don’t think it would be top five? The Kiss TM obviously is up there but its so... sad.. BUT I think its a beautifully shot episode and the director is wonderful. Also if I ever meet Damien Kindler, I have a list of questions. 

I watched this a few weeks ago but am posting it today (11/085/2020) because I forgot I had even typed the notes until the other night when i asked. 

As always, I swear quite a bit but I also cried quite a lot in this episode becuse well I’m a hopeless romantic, I love Space Dad and I had just been dumped so all the angst hurts haha

also also, I leave most if not all my typos in here because I think it makes it funnier and I don’t usually look at my keyboard when I type so I make mistakes. I’m not perfect at touch typing by any standard and I still don’t do it properly anyway. 

Previously on which I don’t need because I’ve seen this show soooo many times 

Fucking Ronson man

Mum says she’s prepared but she’s not

Thers a storm coming and she doesn’t know how bad its gonna be

Two hours top turns into 4 days, 

HER FUCKING GRIN OH MY GOD

Remember your mission, bitch this is Samantha Carter, she forgets nothing and always stick to the mission plan (see The First Commandment, etc. etc.)

Uh oh

Not a ship on its way

I wonder who or what is on it. Well we never find out so no point asking

CREDITS

I am trying to eat and type at the same time this will  not go well

END CREDITS

Love that black curtain with tiny lights they’re using for stars

Cute ship, foe

Of course you wanna talk to them, Ronson but I don’t think its gonna go well babe

Powering up weapons but you won’t get awwwwaaaaayyyyy

Straight into the unknown not-quite-nebula 

SAM NO

WHAT A BAD FUCKING IDEA

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

DAMIAN KINDLER

And BAM baby hit her head

Silence

More silence 

Fucking creepy kid

But if you wanna feel old she’s married and has a kid on the way

You are alone my love

Poor Sam

Of course you do hun cause you’re a good solider 

The didn’t leave you alone honey, they were beamed out

Cuts gone 

Just saying 

Poor Sam

She’s all alone and nothings working and I just wanna hug her

Teal’c being a sweetie 

Being the voice of reason

Stopping her from dying 

“If you sleep, you will die” *Sam falls asleep*

FUCKING KID GIVING ME THE CREEPS

Sam: Is someone there?

Me: IDK Are they? 

Cuts back 

Smart girl <3 

We don’t wanna play with you, you scare us

Cuts gone

“Were you this annoying when you were ascended?”

“Depends who you ask”

The answer is yes, Sam

He is always that annoying 

Her subconscious brain is trying to provide her people to bounce her ideas off of

This is the part of her that wants to explore the cloud, the scientist that battles with the military side of her

Beautiful shot of him standing behind her

Uh oh the ships making noises 

Peter Woste (director) makes some really beautiful shots

Ooooh 

This hurts

Daniel has no idea how lost Jack is

Of course he heard, ya bloody dick head

Jack is so worried about his girl

“Tok’ra can’t send a ship” no they ever can

What is the point of an alliance if only one side ever does anything? 

Is this the first time Daniel is realising Jack’s feelings for Sam? 

Because he seems shocked at Jack’s anger/frustration

THIS FUCKING KID

TEAL’C

He calls her Samantha which he NEVER calls her its…. An interesting choice

He’s right, everything is not as it seems 

Sam thinking of other ideas that she would normally bounce off her boys so she’s bouncing it off… subconscious images of her boys 

And she passed out again

Poor babe :(

Awwww I wanna hug her and protect her 

Honestly I think this way would have worked if it weren’t for that FUCKING KID

She’s not real Sam! 

Who is this kid anyway? 

Alien? Gas cloud?

Her face at the idea of it being a sentient cloud 

“Because its corrosive?” LOL

And shes out again

Did she?? Interesting

 Yeah but actually talking would have helped kid

Ooooooh no

Dad’s about to be here 

I’m Grace… https://youtu.be/688OPQ9WFpA

Hold on while I cry

HES NOT TALKING ABOUT JACK SAMANTHA 

HE WANTS YOU TO BE WITH JACK YA BLOODY GOOSE

DON’T BE AN IDIOT

Oh an initial trace huh? 

Useless fucking shits

They all know he loves her

Its written on their faces

And he’s been doing such a good job of holding it in, damnit

That little look down

A brother to Teal’c awww 

JACK HE JUST TOLD YOU SAM STILL LOVES YOU 

AND YOU LET HER GET ENGAGED TO PETE IM A CREEP SHANAHAN 

WHY YOU DO THE THING AT THE END OF THE EPISODE 

Oh NO NOT THE BUBBLES 

Baby Sam wondering how a bubble can exist 

Adorable 

I’m gonna cry again

Interesting that jack is in street clothes not uniform 

Because this is how she pictures him

Samantha 

I’m crying at this conversation

I could write out everything they say And what it all means because it all HURTS but we all know it off by heart I’m too lazy to rehash it here

I HAD TO HOLD IN A SCREAM

THE KISS AND LETTING HIM GO (she never really did tho let’s not kid ourselves) AND OH MY GOD IT HURTS

THIS FUCKING KID

Bubbles

Dead ass tho i nearly threw something during Sam and Jacks scene 

And whats worse is when she’s back, he would have sat there the entire time until she woke up

And the fear of anybody else hearing her call him Jack

And making an assumption that they’re together and therefore ruining her career 

Makes him shut her down and then she really knows that she has to move on

Because she doesn’t know how scared he was when she was missing

And that he was just as scared as she was when he was gone

But she’ll never know that 

Because he’ll never tell her 

I’m crying again

The way he looks at her

And says shes fine and says you are 

And her sad look

I fucking can’t handle it y’all

I just want them both to be happy and with each other but they’re too emotionally inept to say anything to each other so this is what we have to deal with

And now I have to deal with PETE 

FUCKING PETE 

Final Thoughts: 

I literally cried three times in that episode. Normally its once with Jacob’s scene but this time it was every time Jack was there too. I think my recent breakup is making me soft and all I can handle right now is fluff. Anything else hurts. 

I love that episode with my entire being but fuck me does it hurt

Also who or what is Grace? I have SO many questions. 

Its a beautifully shot episode though

And Amanda’s acting is ace. So is RDAs. 

BUT FUCK MGM FOR NEVER LETTING US HAVE CONFIRMATION OUTSIDE OF ONE PICTURE AND A PASSWORD

[antihero-writings]

The Boy with the Unspeakable Name (Ch10)

Fandom: Harry Potter (and the Chamber or Secrets)

Fic Summary: Tom Riddle may have won his battle with Harry in the Chamber of Secrets, but there were a few unforeseen consequences; loss of Tom’s memory being the most obnoxious of them. Is it possible to stop Tom’s past from becoming his future? Or is the young Tom Riddle doomed to repeat his mistakes?

Chapter 10: Missing

When Harry woke up, Ron wasn’t there. There was only one day left of term, and his stuff was still by his bed, so Harry assumed he hadn’t gone home early, still…

The previous evening Harry and Hermione had stayed up a while, sitting silently by the fire, and the silence was far more comforting than words ever could be. When he went back to his room, he didn’t get much sleep that night. He knew he wouldn’t. And when he did, his dreams were fraught with snakes, and screams, and the color red.

When he woke up and turned over, hoping to see that Ron had made it back safely, and an empty bed greeting him…the pit in his stomach grew teeth.

He’d lost Ginny. He didn’t want to lose Ron too.

How much time had Ron spent with Ginny before someone came to fetch him?

Did Dumbledore take the Weasleys down there? Did they see her lying there all—?

What did they do with her body?

No. He shouldn’t think about those things. There was nothing he could do about any of it even so. Spending too much time thinking about it was only going to make him sad, and anxious, and angry.

When he went to the common room Hermione was standing by the window and—

And Ron was sitting in front of the couch, staring at the fire, his eyes glazed.

He felt a rush of relief at the sight of his friend. Just knowing he was okay—or at least there—was enough to soothe the thing gnawing at him at least a little. He made a move to run towards Ron but paused. He should probably talk to Hermione first. She could let him know if he’d rather be left alone. The last thing Harry wanted to was upset Ron further

“Well, there is one bit of good news.” She said softly as he arrived.

“What’s that?” Harry asked, wanting nothing more.

She pointed out the window.

He came to her side and looked out. Hagrid’s hut had smoke billowing out of the top.

“Hagrid’s back.” She gave a weak smile.

Whaddya know? That was good news.

“We should go see him.” He smiled back with the same weakened quality.

“Definitely.”

His smile slowly faded as he looked back at Ron.

“Have you tried talking to Ron yet?”

She looked over at Ron too, and nodded. “He…he doesn’t seem to feel like talking.” She mentioned softly. She looked at her hands and started fidgeting. “Percy hasn’t left his room. …And we-we don’t know where the twins are.”

The thing in his stomach writhed and churned.

“Do you think it’s a bad idea to try to talk to Ron?”

She shrugged. “He might be more likely to talk to you than me.”

He nodded, and made his way over and sat on the carpet beside Ron.

“Hagrid’s back.” He offered softly.

Ron didn’t say anything.

“Hermoine and I are thinking maybe we could go see him later. We thought you could come too.”

“Mm.” Ron grunted.

Harry, seeing that Hermoine had assessed the situation rather well, turned his attention to the fire. For a while he just sat there and didn’t say anything, unable to bring himself to leave his friend’s side.

“You-You wanna come down to breakfast with us?” Hermoine asked softly after a while.

“Not hungry.” Ron finally spoke, though his voice was distant.

Hermoine looked at Harry and bit her lip, clearly unsure how to proceed.

“Why don’t you go down to breakfast, Hermoine?” Harry offered. “Bring me back some sausages or something.”

Hermoine opened her mouth, likely about to say she’d rather stay, but nodded.

“Sure you don’t want anything, Ron?” She asked as if pleading with him to get up and go with her.

He didn’t reply. Hermoine looked at Harry. Harry tried to give her a reassuring, I’ll-hold-down-the-fort, look, but he wasn’t sure he accomplished it, as she looked nervous, and a little hurt as she turned to leave.

For a while Harry just sat with Ron in silence. Harry knew it was best to wait for him to speak; prodding him with questions, or else annoying him with answers, wouldn’t make him feel better. He knew from experience. So they sat in silence, the common room slowly draining of activity as the other Gryffindor’s went down to breakfast.

“You know,” Ron said a few minutes after everyone had left. “There…There was this one time when some neighbor kids…they bullied her.”

Ron didn’t say who, but Harry knew immediately.

“She came home crying. The next day we—Bill, and Charlie, Fred and George and me, I mean—were out for blood. I don’t know what we would have done to them, but it wouldn’t have been pretty. But…when we got there one was sitting there holding his bloody nose, and the other one ran away screaming when we arrived, smelling faintly of urine. And there was Ginny,” a smile crept onto his face, along with tears to his eyes, “standing there with her hands behind her back, not crying or anything.” The smile broadened. “Turns out Ginny had punched him. Mom was furious. Said we’d filled her head with violence. We’d never been so proud.

“She had the sweetest laugh.” Ron murmured. “Fred and George would would tease her and prank her. Sometimes she’d get upset, but she’d always shake it off. A few times she even pranked them back. One time they had an all out glitter war. Wish you could’ve been there. My underpants sparkled for weeks.

“…You know sometimes I think she was gutsier than all of us combined.”

He paused a moment, his smile sloughing off his face, his eyes traveling somewhere far from here.

“I can’t believe I’ll never hear that laugh again. Funny how that is. I never noticed how pretty it was before.”

“She sent me one of those valentines this year, you know.” Harry swallowed. “I thought it was silly at the time but now…” Harry bit his lip.

“Now you can’t stop replaying it in your head.” Ron’s words were cracking.

Hermione came back a little while later with breakfast—enough for Ron, even though he said he wasn’t hungry—citing that she tried to pick the best sausages she could find, and that she couldn’t remember what kind of jam that they liked on their toast, so she just grabbed them all.

When the topic of going to see Hagrid came up again, there was no debate, and barely any conversation. They were walking across the grounds to Hagrid’s hut before they could put much thought into any other options.

The sight of Hagrid’s face was like aloe on an intense sunburn, and they could almost convince themselves his hug squeezed all the sadness out of them. They asked how Hagrid was doing—he said he was a little worse for wear, but they couldn’t keep him away for too long—and tried to avoid any dangerous topics. When they walked back up the grounds, they did so feeling a little lighter, like the day might be a little brighter from here on out.

They were barely back inside the castle when a voice behind them severed that notion:

“Potter.”

Harry nearly jumped at the sound of Snape’s voice, not to mention the image of him materializing from the corner like a bat.

“The Headmaster wants to see you.”

Harry looked at Ron and Hermione, and they gave him looks that were fearful, sympathetic, and curious all at the same time.

Harry knew he couldn’t refuse, and also wanted to know what Dumbledore wanted to talk to him about, and if it was about Tom, so allowed himself to be escorted to the office. He could get there just fine by himself, but it seemed Snape thought if he didn’t watch him he’d just run off.

Snape was silent the entire time, but when they arrived, he spoke rather harshly:

“Let me make clear that I am not thrilled about this either.”

And with that ominous proclamation, he shut the door.

*****

Harry sat there, sure time had stopped moving. The clock on the wall had stopped ticking. His body had been doused in ice. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Could barely breathe.

The whole summer with Snape. The whole summer with Snape. The whole summer living with Snape. Not just having lessons with him—two hours summoned straight from hell, as far as he was concerned—but actually living with him, in the same house, occupying the same space, at every hour.

Harry dreaded the summer, hated going back to the Dursleys for any amount of time, and two months always seemed like a lifetime. Last year he’d sat at the window dreaming of what it would be like to stay with one of his own kind. At this prospect, however, he thought he’d rather live with the Durselys for the entire year than spend even a week in the same house with Snape.

After what had clearly been a longer-than-natural amount of silence Harry asked feebly.

“But…” The words sputtered on his lips. “But-But why?”

“If we are going to make any strides at reforming the young Tom Riddle,” Dumbledore explained, “in addition to confirming he does not intend to make the mistakes of his predecessor, we must help him relearn magic over the summer. It is imperative that we have someone watching him at all times as well. He needs to stay with someone who is trustworthy. Who will not hesitate to act if he shows any signs of returning to his old ways. I thought professor Snape would be uniquely suitable for this job.”

Whatever Dumbledore said Harry didn’t think Snape was trustworthy, or suitable to teach kids of any age. Though he wouldn’t say the image of Tom hanging upside down getting an incorrect answer was unappealing. Still Snape would probably grow to favor him like he did Malfoy. Which brought him to his main concern.

“I understand that, Sir, but what I was wondering is why I have to live with him too?”

“As Voldemort has now returned in such a form, the rules for your summer arrangements may have changed a bit, don’t you think?”

Harry blinked. “You mean about me needing to stay with my aunt and uncle? That’s great! Then why can’t I stay with Ron?! Or…Or you?!” he gestured to Dumbledore. The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

Dumbledore smiled pleasantly. “I am flattered you would be interested in living with me, Harry. But, on that account, I find it would be much more advantageous if you and the young Tom Riddle were to become…” He paused a moment, clearly being careful about choosing his words. “friends. Or something approximating the like.”

The word surged and burned down from his ears down through his blood, curling his hands into fists.

“Friends?!” Harry shot up, the chair groaning against the floor. “You want me to become friends with the guy who murdered my parents?!”

“I know I am asking a great much of you, Harry,” Dumbledore said calmly. “And if you think I am asking too much of you, I will understand, and attempt to discern another way to go about this situation. But please try to look at the big picture. For one thing, we would like to try our best to keep the identity of Tom Riddle between you, myself, and professor Snape—as well as a certain number of portraits and ghosts.” He gestured to the portraits, who crossed their arms and glared at him. “It would be rather telling if, well…” He paused again. “Forgive me, but your attitude towards him is not overabundant with kindness.”

Harry couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was being asked to live with both the teacher he hated most in this school, and the young version of the literal Lord Voldemort, and it was all because of that very hatred. Because Dumbledore thought living with them would make him hate them less, as opposed to the answer Harry thought much more likely: that they would all come out of this hating each other a hundred times more.

“Kids hate each other all the time! I hardly think that’s something that needs a drastic remedy! You told him yourself he was a bully—it would be weirder if I wasn’t glaring hatefully at him! Why is this any different?!”

“You yourself know full well why it’s different.” Dumbledore never ceased his calm, cool tones. “This isn’t just any childish rivalry, nor do I think things will remain that way, if they continue on as they are.”

“Again! Why would you ask me to—?!”

“Because hatred of this brand corrupts even the purest of souls. It is one thing that everyone is capable of falling prey to. Kind people would never think of torturing or killing innocents, but hate, well…there is always evil in the world. And kind people struggle with the presence of this evil most of all. It is the mark of a good soul to be appalled by evil. However, we cannot allow that evil to infect our own souls with hate, lest we become like the very thing we are fighting so hard against.”

Harry swallowed. Whatever Dumbledore said, he didn’t much care if his soul was ‘infected by hatred’ as it were.

“If we intend to allow the young Tom Riddle to live,” Dumbledore continued, “I cannot in good faith allow things to go on this way. If you continue to hate him as much as I see you do now…it is my belief that you will certainly become the rivals you were always destined to be—or perhaps I should say, you once were.”

“What’s wrong with that? Why shouldn’t we be?! Why are you defending Voldemort?!”

“But he is not Voldemort. Remember Harry,” Dumbledore walked around the desk to stand in front of Harry. “At this moment the boy in the hospital wing is not, in fact, the man who murdered your parents. He is not the man who tortured so many. He is not the evil warlord, twisted by his own depraved experiments. I am not asking you to become friends with that man, nor would I advise it. However, he is a boy who might become the man who murdered your parents, if he falls upon the wrong path again. That is to say, if we fail to lead him down the proper path. I am asking you to try to become friends with boy he was before he became a killer. That boy right now is merely a boy like you. One who is, yes, a bit cold and self-serving, a bit too cunning and clever for his own good, but—though he will not admit it—who is also unfathomably lonely. That it why it is so crucial that we do our best to give him the proper guidance and support he so desperately needs. Just think about it. I won’t force you. But please note that your presence in his life may be the distinction between success and failure.

Harry slumped back in his chair. “You’re placing an awful lot of pressure on me, Sir. What makes you think you can lead him down the right path?”

“Oh I don’t have any delusions about leading him down the right path myself. As I’ve said, I think you, Harry, can lead him down the right path. And, most likely…only you can.”

“Why me?”

“Professor Snape can teach him magic, can try to discern the workings of his mind and if he intends to return to his old ways, but Tom Riddle has never been one persuaded to change by authority. On the contrary, he is prone to manipulate authority to his will rather as much as his peers—a trait, I imagine he will likely pick back up quickly. Hence why I have specifically chosen Professor Snape for this task. He is particularly resistant to flattery and the like. I would do it myself but something tells me his past hatred of me is not so easily forgotten. But as for someone who can be a more positive influence, rather than a disciplinary one, I think you would fit that role rather well.”

“If he doesn’t listen to you, why would he listen to me?! Did he ever listen to his classmates—let alone someone younger than him?!”

“When Tom was at school yes, he was surrounded by obedient followers who would not hesitate to throw themselves headfirst into danger for him. But Harry I believe you are uniquely suited to such a task, in no small part because you are aware of his past sins—or perhaps we should say, his future sins. Your awareness of what he is capable of, in tandem with your kind, resilient spirit makes you particularly adapted to helping lost souls such as Tom, and guiding them back to the light.”

“But this isn’t some lost soul! This is Voldemort we’re talking about! You really think someone like that is capable change?! Of compassion?! Of-Of anything?!”

“It is precisely because this is Voldemort that it is imperative we try. What would you prefer? That we stand idly by and watch him become the same man he was, without even attempting to reform him? We have a unique opportunity to rewrite history, to try again. I find opportunities of this nature do not come around twice.”

“We…” Harry paused. Swallowed. Not sure he should say what he was thinking. “We could…We could…get rid of him…Then the threat would be over…”

“Oh? But didn’t you yourself make the decision not to kill him in the Chamber, even when you believed he was still Voldemort? And have I not already told you my thoughts on the that decision? I, for one, am very grateful you didn’t. If you did, we wouldn’t have the opportunity we have now. Besides, we need not split young souls such as yours with such acts. Would it not make us uncomfortably similar to Voldemort if we decided to kill a defenseless boy without memory?”

Harry sighed. He was feeling less and less grateful for his decision by the day.

“I know it is a great burden I am placing on you.” Dumbledore added. “But it is also the greatest compliment I can give: that I have full faith that you could reform even the darkest of souls.”

Something in Harry wore out. His words were soft: “He killed Ginny.”

Dumbledore blinked up at him.

“I am not entirely certain that he did.”

He jerked up his head. “What?”

“Lord Voldemort, unlike with most other incidents, didn’t use the killing curse upon her. Instead, he used a very unique method to return to the land of the living, one that required a young girl’s life.”

“Exactly! That’s what killed her!”

“Do you understand what I’m saying? It required her life. Voldemort would have assumed this meant that her life was used up in the process, but what if it wasn’t? What if her soul was not destroyed, but transferred?”

“Transferred?” Realization hit him as soon as he asked the question, and horror twisted in Harry’s gut. “Y-You’re telling me that Ginny’s soul is inside—?!”

“It is my theory at least.” Dumbledore spoke as if they were discussing what to have for lunch. He folded his arms in front of him. “Whether it is fact, or nothing more than an educated hypothesis, only more research will yield the answers.”

Harry sat on the edge of his seat, thinking hard.

Ginny might still be alive. Her soul at least. Alive but trapped in the body of Tom Riddle. Hope and horror enacted a bloody duel in Harry’s gut.

“Do-Do you think we could save her, Sir? Get her out, I mean.”

Dumbledore sighed. “I am not certain but, considering as her body is already—”

“What if we could preserve her body?!” He stood up. “You know, make it so, if we could just get her soul out then…”

Dumbledore looked down, running his hand over his beard. “I hadn’t considered that.”

“Then maybe—maybe we could return her soul to her body!” He began pacing. “She could go back to living with her family! She’d be—”

Dumbledore held up a hand to stop him.

“It is a …possibility, but a possibility nonetheless. We must remember that this is nothing but a theory in the first place, and the prospect of preserving her body on the slim hope that we might be able to retrieve her soul from his body—if it is even there in the first place—would be rather a lot to put her family through.”

Harry was barely listening, his brain moving a thousand miles an hour. “We just need to find a way to get her soul out! There must be some way! Then everything can go back to normal!”

Dumbledore paused. “Before we make any decisions, I am wondering if perhaps we ought to consider another route as well.”

“What’s that?”

“Being unsure if we will be able to salvage her soul from its current state, I’ve been considering the possibility that the presence of her soul within Tom would grant him a level of compassion he has not previously exhibited. This is something which I have already seen exhibited during our previous conversation with him. While I am unsure we can return her soul to her body, this is something that, if my theory is true, is already in place. It is one of the reasons why I believe we might be able to reform him.”

Harry allowed himself to consider this a moment. The presence of Ginny’s soul within Tom…In some ways it was more appealing than simply viewing Tom as Voldemort, still, he didn’t much care for the thought of her trapped within the body of his parent’s murderer. It felt gross and wrong.

“I also must say that, due to her life being the thing that allowed him to return to life, I am unsure we could remove her soul without killing him.”

Harry wasn’t sure that was such an unwanted side effect.

Ginny was still alive. That changed everything. The prospect of living with either Snape or Tom made him feel sick. But both? He’d likely be needing a barf bag. However, at this prospect he felt a little more up to the challenge.

So he agreed to live with them over the summer, not to reform Tom, but to save Ginny.

*****

Considering it was the Leaving Feast, and he hadn’t done a very good job of eating well the past few days, Harry decided it was time to have dinner in the great hall. Ron could only say no to his stomach for so long, so he came with them.

When he entered the room his stomach sank. Last year the room was decorated with the colors of the house that won the Quidditch cup, but today they black, he knew why.

He found his place at the Gryffindor table and tried to ignore the questions fluttering around about the color of the banners.

He also tried to ignore the heat he felt as his back. It was as if he was being watched, but not just that, it was as if whoever was watching him could shoot laser beams out of their eyes. He was pretty sure he knew who it was, and sure enough, as he turned around he found it was coming off the potions master. He didn’t think it was possible, but Snape’s usual distaste had amplified tenfold.

He turned back to his food and tried not to exhibit that same distaste.

What he didn’t ignore was the sight of Percy and the twins at the table. Percy’s eyes looked just as veiled as Ron’s had, and he looked a bit green. When Fred saw Harry, he gave him a small nod, as if thanking him for his service, and George put his arm around Ron—something Harry had rarely, if ever, seen him do—and Harry tried not to feel worse.

After they’d finished dinner Dumbledore walked up to give his end-of-year speech, he said a few of the things Harry remembered him mentioning last year, then proceeded:

“This feast is a time for both celebration and loss this year.” He folded his hands in front of him.

“This year has been a strange one for Hogwarts. Throughout it many of you have no doubt heard the rumor that the Chamber of Secrets had been opened, as well as seen the strange messages and incidents that gave credence to this rumor.

“Well I will inform you, if it is not already clear, that the rumor is indeed true. The Chamber had been opened. And I thank whatever higher power might be out there that, for the most part, petrification was the only real consequence.

“I am even more thankful to inform you at this time, that the threat has ended.”

There was a general consensus about the room that this was a good thing, though the celebration was tinged with curiosity at what had happened.

“We can thank none other than Harry Potter for this.” He gestured to Harry, and too many heads turned for Harry’s comfort. “With the help of his friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger”—Ron tried to make himself look small, and Hermione waved awkwardly—“they were able to discern the mystery of the Chamber of Secrets, and defeat its monster. The Chamber will bring no more harm to any of you.”

More cheers and clinking of glasses.

“However, as some of you may have heard by now, that victory came at a great cost. Harry arrived as fast as he could, and fought his hardest, but—through no fault of his own—our dear Ginny Weasley, who had been taken by the heir of Slytherin into the Chamber itself tragically…” He paused now, taking a deep breath. “lost her life.”

The room was simultaneously spiked with loud gasps, exclamations and cries, and hushed as if a dampener had been placed over it.

“Those of you who knew her know she was fiery, brave, kind, and compassionate, possessing these and many other qualities that embody Gryffindor. We have lost a wonderful girl, who could have, in time, become a great woman.”

Harry bit his lip, looking down, trying not to let those words make his mind wander. He felt a squeeze at his hand and turned to see Hermione, holding his hand, as well as Ron’s, turning to each of them sympathetically. Ron was staring at the table.

“The heir of Slytherin had been working through her by virtue of a diary. Seemingly innocuous, she did not realize this diary was in actuality an object of extraordinary dark power.”

Anger rose in Harry’s gut when he thought of the boy in the he himself had seen in the diary, the one who had framed Hagrid, and lured Ginny in with that famous flattery Dumbledore mentioned earlier. He hoped he wasn’t listening now.

“Harry did everything in his power to keep her alive, and risked his own life several times over the course of the night, but in the end…” He trailed off. They all knew what it meant.

I couldn’t save her.

“Slytherin’s monster is no more, and the diary through which the heir of Slytherin worked has been destroyed. But Ginny Weasley’s memory lives on. Her body will not—as the writing on the wall so crudely and cruelly proclaimed—lie in the Chamber forever. Her body will return home with her parents to receive a proper burial.”

“Ron, you’re hurting me,” Hermione whispered, and Harry turned to see Ron relax his grip on her hand a little.

“A spirit like hers is not one so easily lost. Those of you who knew Ginny, do not let the pain of this incident cause her soul to fade from memory. Let her sprit live on in your hearts. Let the part of her that lives on in each of you guide you in your darkest moments.”

At this Harry wondered if Tom was indeed there, and the words were intended for him specifically. Though, when he looked around, he didn’t see him anywhere.

“I ask you not to pester the Weasleys, nor Harry, too much with questions about this incident. They have been through a lot and should be allowed to grieve in peace.”

At the painful, distant looks from each of the Weasleys present Harry wished more than anything he could tell them the truth of the situation, that Ginny was still alive it was just…a little more complicated than that. That he was going to everything in his power to save her. Yet he could do nothing but sit there silently, feeling sick.

And after a few more closing words, he left them all with the silence in the room, tragedy hanging over all their heads like the black curtains draped across the room.

*****

It was with a heart heavy as coal, a lump in his throat that hadn’t left since the feast, and the gnawing pit in his stomach that Harry packed up his things that day. He’d be going to the Dursleys first, still, but just knowing that he wouldn’t be able to talk to Ron, to make sure he was okay, and that he’d be living with Snape very soon didn’t make him at all eager to leave—not that he would be anyways.

He was then reminded of another boy who once wanted to stay at Hogwarts over the summer, and internally smacked himself for thinking that way.

It was a quiet ride on the train, too quiet. Even Fred and George, who usually never stopped cracking jokes, had developed an interest in their own shoelaces. Hermione tried to cheer everyone up by suggesting they practice disarming spells. They did so without much real heart--though Harry found he was getting rather good at them, even so. Still trying their best to enjoy what few moments of magic they had left, they then played Exploding Snap, and lit off the rest of Fred and George’s Filibuster fireworks. All of these things helped distract them at least a little, but nothing could fill the emptiness that threatened to swallow them, the emptiness that spawned from the seat where Ginny was supposed to be.