#trying to remember everyone's names im going insane

[cvldbones]

okay so not to sound insane but im convinced beyond all belief that one of langdon’s kids has to end up in the ED at some point……with mel treating them as abby and langdon have it out, of course. it’s just something ive been marinating with because Everyone Else Of Significance to these characters has been shown (becca, jake, jake’s mom whose name i cannot remember) and what better way to show how On The Rocks their marriage is than by a family reunion in chairs! july….no school……a case of dehydration at summer camp? i can see the vision so clearly

okay so i included something like this in my emotional infidelity fic because the idea of abby being in the ER is sooo juicy to me (especially if they're having issues and langdon is pretending everything is Totally Normal)

but i'm picturing, like, frank's been put on chairs for the morning because it's not like he can administer medication anyway, and that feels like the safest, smoothest entry point for him. (bonus: it pisses him the fuck off. the rational part of his brain knows that this is not, in fact, a punishment, but it does sort of feel like robby's just rubbing salt in the wound for no reason.) he's paired with one of the new med students who keeps asking about whether he's ever seen or performed an amputation (??) so he's already in a foul mood and it's not even nine a.m.

and then he hears a voice that is way too familiar, bright and excited. "daddy!"

frank whips his head around and, sure enough: there is tanner, sitting with his arm held close to his chest, tears streaking down the dirt on his cheeks. abby is sitting next to him filling out paperwork, a frown pinching between her brows as she follows their son's gaze. she pales a little when frank strides forward, trying and failing to repeat all those mantras he learned in therapy about balance and finding your zen.

"hi, buddy," he says, running his hand over his son's head. "what happened?"

"i hurt my arm," tanner tells him, wincing a little when he tries to lift it. "i was running too fast, and - "

"i told you his cleats were too big," abby says under her breath, and frank glares at her.

he turns to the med student. "go get dr. king," he says, and the student looks at him for one beat before doing as she's told and heading back through the double doors.

frank picks tanner up, mindful of his arm - probably broken, he thinks with an internal sigh - and gestures for abby to follow. there are mutterings from the other patients in the waiting room that he chooses to ignore, leading his soon-to-be-ex-wife and son onto the floor.

dana spots them first. "tanner, buddy! what the heck happened?"

"i hurt my arm," he repeats with a pathetic sniffle. dana smiles at him.

"that's no good." to frank, she adds, "mel is ready for you in central 8."

he gives dana a grateful smile. true to her word, when they get into the room, mel is already there with the med student, looking through tanner's chart. (he was born in this hospital, actually. always a weird thing for frank to remember.)

"dr. mel!"

"tanner, what did you do?" she asks, mock serious, and tanner puts on a very brave face to recount the story for the third time, gesturing with his good arm. something about trying to steal the soccer ball from the other team, and tripping, and hearing a scary noise. frank is only half paying attention. he loves his son, but coordination is not really his specialty. they should've put him in art camp instead of soccer camp, he thinks forlornly.

abby makes some sort of noise, which reminds him: "why didn't you call me?" he demands, crossing his arms over his chest.

"i was going to," she defends immediately. mel is doing a commendable job of keeping her focus on their child, distracting him by asking him to sing his favorite ms. rachel song for her. loudly.

frank is going to owe her, like, fifty dinners after this, probably.

"you shouldn't have been waiting," he continues. "we could've taken care of it as soon - "

"frank, it's not that big a deal," abby protests in a quiet hiss. "can we please not fucking do this in front of your coworkers?"

"it's just mel," he says without thinking, and abby raises an eyebrow. it's just mel had been a refrain he'd been using since the first time she visited him in rehab, and abby has long since grown tired of that particular turn of phrase. he pauses. "i mean, just - "

"oh, i know what you mean," abby says harshly. she fixes the back of mel's head with a sunny smile. "i'm going to try and find a cup of coffee. i'll be right back."

frank runs a hand over his face. when he looks up, mel is peering at him over the lenses of her glasses. "having a good first day back?" she asks, teasing.

he snorts. "yeah." when she smiles, he pretends he can't tell the way his chest lightens. "perfect first day."

[girlbossdarkiplier]

moar mark ocs as lps (ゝω・´★)

[marsbotz]

DAMN its insanee even after so long… undertales story is still fucking crazyyyy

[hexados-on-a-string]

please PLEASE dont spam my dms. esp if its abt polls that could cause like fandom drama or something of the sort. there were no rules before when it came to dms and asks but this is the one (1) boundary i am now putting in place. its better for me and its also better for u bc i will start lying to get out of an uncomfortable situation like that and i dont think ppl like it when they get lied to. probably. taking a wild guess here.

dont get me wrong i love dms, i love asks even more, i love talking to people, but god bless i have autism i can only handle masking so much and this is supposed to be a safe space for me, i am terrified of fandom drama, do NOT put me in a situation. thank you.

[reidrum]

darwinism

A/N: being really brave and posting this bc i wasn’t sure about it but i hope u like it! a reminder to show love to ur favorite writers/creators :) scheduling this post while im omw to halsey’s opening show tonight BUT we hit 3k and that’s so insane to me that people want to read my silly little stories thank you thank you thank you

summary: the you that broke up with spencer to follow your dreams in london isn’t the same you that returns a year later

cw: spoiler content warning at the end of this post! angst, hurt/comfort, bau!reader, ex!spencer, implications of past trauma, descriptions of torture, medical jargon, cm typical violence, throwing up, spencer is kinda mean but he loves you i promise

wc: 6k

The familiarity strikes you like a knife as you walk through the doors of the BAU. Over a year since you’ve been here and it seems nothing has changed—Hotch still surveills from his office atop the landing, Emily and Derek sit opposite each other. Even your desk has remained untouched and the way you left it, still next to the desk you’d begged to be next to.

A year since you left it all behind in pursuit of furthering your career, a shiny new position across the pond at Interpol. A year since you left behind the only family you had in D.C., the BAU. A year since you left Spencer, the love of your life.

Before you left, Spencer thought everything was going great between you both. You seemed happy, content with his company and love. Falling in love with a colleague, especially in his line of work, has its risks but he’s found that having you will always outweigh any consequence or worst scenario his mind can think of.

Spencer would never tell you they actually offered the job to him first, but he turned it down so he could stay with you. He still remembers the fight you had the night before you left, how he couldn’t understand why you would risk throwing away what you had. You knew he never would, with his multiple degrees and high caliber of success he didn’t need that extra validation. To be a mere mortal in the presence of such excellence is humbling and harrowing.

So you left.

You love him, you really did—still do. Nothing about where you were in the world would ever change that. Making the decision to leave was the hardest but you knew it would be better for your career. Spencer might never comprehend how easily you made that decision to take the job in London when it seemed like the hardest thing for him. How could he, when everything he encountered with his Midas’ touch of knowledge only served to expand his beautiful brain. When you left and parted ways, it was for good.

The thing is though, you’re back.

No one actually knew you were coming back until a week ago, when Hotch announced your return to the team as soon as you landed. The job offer was a permanent one and the details are unclear as to why you did come back so early. Bunch of sealed, redacted documents. All Spencer knows is that you are home and back here with him. Maybe not with him, but you were here and that counts for something. 

The desk next to yours is empty but clearly occupied, the satchel slouched over on the ground with a cardigan haphazardly thrown over the back of the chair. You walk up to yours and see it practically untouched, up kept even. You sling your bag off the shoulder and take inventory of your desk, your name plate and tchotchkes aligned. 

You don’t hear the footsteps coming up behind you.

“Hey.”

You still at the voice and turn slowly, “Hi, Spencer.”

He takes a good look at you, the first one he’s gotten to have of you in over a year. You look the same more or less. Your hair is longer, you’ve lost weight, you stopped wearing makeup. There’s something else surrounding you unspoken, he can’t place his finger on it.

“It’s um, it’s good to see you.” he nods awkwardly, trying not to cringe inwardly as he attempts normality.

“Likewise.” you hum.

Hotch calls your name from the landing, “Welcome back. I need everyone in the conference room in two minutes.”

You both nod, each secretly glad your interaction was cut short. 

Derek rounds your desk and opens his arms, “Good to see you, pretty girl. It’s been too quiet without you.” You try not to let your heart squeeze over the term of endearment, a stem of his nickname for Spencer coined specially for you after Derek had figured you both out.

You squeeze him back, “Missed you too, Morgan.” 

Emily loops her arm through yours as you pull back from Derek, slowly starting the walk up to the conference room. “How was London? Was the apartment okay?” Former Interpol agent perks, Emily had her own flat in London she so graciously lent to you.

“All good, Em,” you say softly, slowly trudging up the steps, “I’ll show you pictures later.”

Emily continues talking as you both get further out of earshot from Spencer, whose eyes follow until you disappear into the room. There really is something different about you that he can’t quite figure out yet, no way of even proving that something is wrong–just a sheer feeling of knowing you from the way you’ve imprinted on him. He decides it’s probably just jet lag.

“You alright, kid?” Derek nudges him, “Must be a lot for you,”

He forgot he was even still down here, “Yeah, fine. We should go,”

—

The first time Spencer noticed he didn’t think anything of it.

It’s paperwork week after a long few weeks of traveling, to everyone’s delight. In desperate need for caffeination you grab your mug from your desk and trudge to the break room to make yourself a coffee. You place a pod into the slot and press start, the machine whirring to life as it prepares to brew your lifesaving coffee. 

You’re about to bend down to the cupboard under the table when you hear footsteps. 

Spencer slows as he walks in, not wanting to startle you, “We moved the sugar by the way, it’s above the sink now.”

“Oh, thanks.” you mumble. You reach a hand up to open the cupboard, hiding a wince as you stretch up.

He clocks the change in your face immediately, “Are you okay?”

Your eyes widen as you come back down and school your face back to normal, “Yeah, why?”

“You look like you’re in pain. Did you get hurt or something?” he prods, eyes looking questionably between your face and your waist. Your shirt raises slightly and he can see the tail end of what looks like a nasty scar. He attempts to walk closer but with hypervigilance on your side and great timing by the coffee machine you grab your coffee and side step him towards the door.

“Oh did I? Must’ve stretched weird this morning.” you say from the door.

“You stretch now?” he humorlessly chuckles.

“It’s important to stay limber,” Your hand subconsciously rests over your abdomen, unnaturally to the side as if you’re covering something. “Got to go, bye.”

He watches you duck out of the room, “Um, bye?”

Weird, he thinks. You didn’t even end up taking the sugar, the evidence of it still scattered on the counter. You were so quick to leave but Spencer lets himself entertain the idea that you wanted to leave so fast not to get away from him, but because he noticed a crack in your facade.

He tries to school his own face back to normal as he returns to his desk and drops two sugar packets on yours.

–

The second time he notices, it nearly breaks his heart.

It’s a hot day in the Houston precinct where you and Spencer tackle the geographical profile while the rest of the team works out the victim’s details and witnesses. It was a no brainer to pair you two together, you’d been doing geographical profiles since way before you ever got together. It’s how you both fell in love, actually. Countless hours hunched over a map, late night conversations getting weirdly philosophical, something about the way you worked together just clicked. Like you completed something he didn’t know he didn’t have, something he didn’t know he craved so subconsciously.

You made sense to him, you always do.

Things are little different post your breakup, your skill sets are still above par for crafting the geographical profile, and therefore it only served to make sense to pair you both again. He knows it’s for the better, you’ll always make sense to him—even in times like this.

You’re more defensive than he remembers, more meticulous and stubborn than his darling girl who left him. You were always stubborn, but here you were finding faults in everything. The attack sites are too scattered for an accurate comfort zone, you’d argue. The victimology doesn’t add up, you’d jab.

Since you left Spencer’s patience has diminished dramatically, even for you now as he’s about to discover. Normally he’d welcome your counterpoints with respectful criticism and counters while you both talk it out. But right now you’re arguing like you simply want to be right, like you need to be right.

“You’re being ridiculous.” Spencer sighs, “The unsub clearly is frequenting these places for a reason, and it matches the victimology perfectly. How can you not see it?”

“It doesn’t add up!” you jab, “He’s kidnapping high risk victims in a high risk environment, that goes against what we think he’s even killing for.”

His voice raises, “What he’s killing for doesn’t even matter if we can’t predict where he’s going to strike next! The next body could surface tonight, we don’t have time to be childish like this.”

“Childish? Suddenly my analysis is childish? Fuck you, Spencer.”

“Okay, look I didn’t mean—“ He reaches his hand above your figure to grab the marker atop the white board.

A normal motion for him.

But you flinch, hard.

Spencer rarely if ever yelled at you when you were together, he certainly and definitively would never lay his hands on you. Any argument you had with him was resolved civilly, safely. Even when you get disciplined at work by Hotch or Strauss they go easy on you, a stern warning and a passing Be Better.

What you did now is stitched from his nightmares. The sharp yelp you let out will ring in his ears for who knows how long. He can’t figure it out, he’s not sure if he wants to. You’re part of a team of profilers, trained to analyze micro expressions and behaviors to predict what happened. Spencer knows what it means for the way you reacted, his training clearly outlines it.

Previous trauma suffered. Reflex response. Learned.

Wherever you learned that response, it cannot be from him—it’s impossible. It’s offensive. It makes him sick to even think it could come from him, even sicker to think about where it did come from. This wasn’t you, not the you that Spencer knew and loved. 

Yet you flinched, and to his horror you’re now shaking.

He says your name like broken glass, “I…I wasn’t going to hurt you. You’re shaking, I…” He tries to move closer again, like he did in the break room, and instead of ducking out you back up and bump into the whiteboard, startling yourself further.

“N—Nothing, I’m fine. It’s fine. I…need to go get some air.” you stutter, the jitters clearly consuming you.

You run out of the precinct before he can say anything else, evading Emily’s calls and JJ’s brush of your arm as you leave.

Spencer lingers on the ghost of your figure as it haunts the door, and turns to the rest of the team sporting matching confusion. “You all saw that right?”

Morgan nods slowly, “Something’s up with her.”

“I know,” he rasps, “I’ve never seen her look so scared.” The look on your face will surely haunt him every time he blinks.

JJ speaks, “Do you think something happened in London?”

It had to, Spencer thinks. You were not like this before you left. Not skittish, not hypervigilant of your surroundings—fearing a familiar hand. 

The team looks to Hotch, knowing if someone knew it would be him. “Her records are sealed,” he mumbles, feigning professionalism yet unable to hide his concern for you, “Interpol informed me it was a need to know basis, and we were not cleared for that.”

“But she’s not okay, Hotch.” Spencer protests.

Hotch gives him a stern look, but his eyes soften in understanding, “I know, we can figure this out when we get back. For now, let her cool off and let’s focus on the case.”

Everyone exchanges uneasy looks and begrudgingly returns to their tasks.

When you return the team offers you the grace of pretending what happened didn’t even exist. You’re inwardly grateful, you know it doesn’t show on the outside. Spencer keeps an eye on you but maintains his distance lest you get triggered at his hands again. He wouldn’t survive watching you react to him so viscerally, in a way that couldn’t be further from the love he showered you in.

It’s in this moment Spencer realizes he misses you. When you left he obviously missed you, but in a way in which he knew you would return home eventually. You broke his heart by leaving, but he knew you would come back to the BAU, where you belonged. A you he honestly believes he took for granted, because it looks like that you didn’t make it home to him. Right now, he’s missing that you. The you before London. 

—

The third time he realizes, he acts on his own–you didn’t even have to do anything.

He knows something happened in London. He just can’t figure out what it is, but he’s going to.

Spencer should feel bad asking Penelope to hack into your medical records. He can’t find himself to actually care though after seeing that stab wound on your hip, and how quick you were to brush it off like it was nothing. It was massive, and by the position of it had to have required some medical intervention. When he got shot in the knee all they needed to do was stabilize his leg from the outside with a brace, yours looked dangerously close to a lung.

“Is there a reason we’re violating her privacy like this? She’s my friend, I feel icky.”

“Garcia, please.” his tone holding something deeper.

She glances at him and returns back to typing, breaking down the many firewalls of the bureau medical records.

“And…done.” a flurry of documents floods her screens, Spencer leans in closer to read them but she whispers under her breath, “Oh my god, my sweet girl.”

“What is it?”

Garcia pulls up your medical record from London, and makes the sheet bigger. The glaring title reading Emergency Room Admit. He reads the preliminary injuries of stab wounds, bruises, mild concussion.

Emergency services were called to a warehouse where you were unconscious and bleeding out. You still weren’t conscious when you were admitted, and they had to resuscitate you after you’d coded in the ambulance en route. They took you to emergency surgery, your broken ribs causing major arterial damage in your abdomen. Line after line listed another injury, another note where they performed a life saving measure on you. He couldn’t believe it, how had all of this happened and no one knew about it? How he didn’t know about it?

“She was attacked.” he mumbles in disbelief, poison hanging on the tip of his words.

Penelope says through watery tears, “How could they not tell us? This says it was nearly nine months ago.”

“I don’t know,” he breathes out shakily, “but something still feels off.”

Everything he was thinking and felt becomes obsolete as he scrolls further down to see a note that takes the final blow for him.

Miscarriage due to sustained injuries. Pt suffered stab wounds to the lower left quadrant of the abdomen, fetus not viable upon admission.

No.

No, that can’t be right.

The nausea builds in the back of his throat as he processes. He looks at the dates of the report again and anxiously does the math in his head. If your assault happened only three months after you left then—No.

All the questions begin to swirl in Spencer’s mind. Did you know you were pregnant? You didn’t tell anyone it seems, and then you chose to still stay in london for another nine months even after the incident. It made no sense, an event as traumatic as what he read you went through should have sent you right back home. Right back to him.

The nausea catches up to him and takes over his body, hurling into the nearest trash can he can find. Penelope, through sniffled sobs, attempts to rub her friend’s back as soothingly as she can. 

He wipes his mouth, “I need to talk to her. Is she still at the same address?”

“Spencer, I don’t think—“

“I don’t care what you think, Garcia. Tell me where she is.” he snaps.

Penelope widens her eyes in shock at his outburst, knowing she can’t blame him for how he’s reacting. “Y—Yeah, same address.”

He speeds out of the room, stopping by the bathroom to rinse his mouth and splash water on his face. His hands rub harshly down the sides of his face as he stares at himself in the mirror. All the color is drained from his face, nowhere in sight of returning. He doesn’t know what to feel–let alone what to think. He’s angry, hurt, confused. He’s not expecting to feel scared, yet he’s not sure what he’s scared of.

In Spencer’s life his role has always been the protector, the parentified child that had to grow up too fast to care for their sick mother. He wouldn’t have it any other way, some help would have been nice, but his 187 IQ served him better than others would in his position. Perfection, as his mother fondly called him. All he’s ever known is to protect, joining the FBI helps him continue to actualize this ability he’s honed. Meeting you gave him purpose to protect–a conscious choice he could make that wasn’t a result of his circumstance. A choice to protect you, because he loves you.

Yet his choice to let you go, to not follow you, has led him to face this awful consequence at the cost of your safety. Right now, he feels like anything but a protector.

Spencer gets in his car and drives to your apartment complex, parking in the same vacant spot he always did when he came over each time. He climbs the stairs fast and knocks harshly on your door, hearing you shuffle a minute later and opening it. “Spencer? What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk.” he says urgently, moving past you to get inside.

You furrow your brows at his intrusion and mumble, moving aside passively, “No please, come in.”

You lock the door and walk towards your living room, where Spencer is pacing back and forth running his hand stressfully through his hair. He makes no effort to speak first, still in his head about everything.

“So, are you going to tell me why you showed up here?”

“I know what happened.”

You tilt your head, “What do you mean?”

“In London. I know what happened to you.”

Your face drops instantly and suddenly the world stops. All your windows are closed but a sharp and brisk chill runs up your spine, goosebumps erupting all over you as a pathetic defense against what feels like a vocal attack. Trapped. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say under your breath.

He stops pacing and faces you, “No?” he steps closer, “That’s why all your medical records are sealed shut?”

“You looked at my medical records?”

“I had to, you weren’t telling me anything.”

“Maybe because I didn’t want you to know.” you yell, “Those are private documents.”

“I don’t know how I didn’t notice it at first—you were in pain reaching for the sugar in the cupboard, suddenly you don’t wear anything shorter than pants and a long sleeve. The big scar on your torso.”

“That doesn’t mean anything—“

“You flinched. The other day.”

You falter, “What?”

“We all pretended it didn’t happen when you came back, but you know what happened. I raised my hand for something and you flinched.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” you repeat less convincing this time.

He steps closer, trying to hide his hurt when you take a step back as well, “I think you know exactly what it means, and it scares you that I know now too.”

“You’re not supposed to know.”

“Why not?”

“Because no one’s supposed to know! I had them sealed for a reason.”

“So you were just not going to tell any of us you were attacked?”

Your face contorts, “I had to do what was safe for me. You may not understand my choices but I was counseled into believing this was the best option for me.”

“Counseled,” he laughs humorlessly, stepping towards you and staring you down, “Did this counsel inform you that notifying the father of your miscarriage wasn’t necessary?”

The bile rises in your throat, the room unhinges upon its axis as it begins to spin. “N—No, that’s not—“

“Did you tell anyone?” another step, “Were you ever going to tell me it was mine?”

“Spencer you don’t understand.”

He flails his arms in anger, “No, I fucking don’t! First you leave me behind like I meant nothing to you, but then you were pregnant with my child. You didn’t even care to tell me! I wanted a life with you, I loved you. And you just left.”

You stare at him in silence, unable to think of anything to say.

“How could you not tell me?” he whispers brokenly, “I thought you trusted me.”

“I couldn’t tell you, you have to know that.”

“You couldn’t or you wouldn’t?” he pricks.

The tears well up in your eyes, “That’s not fair.”

“No? You don’t think so?” He knows he’s being mean, he can’t help it—he was supposed to protect you, even if you wouldn’t let him. His guilt is rearing its head in an ugly manner. “Was the baby even mine? Or is there something else you’re also not telling me?”

The hurt splays on your face clear as day, “Why are you being like this?” you mumble.

“I just want answers,” he exasperates, carding a stressed hand through his hair, “I want to know why you felt like you couldn’t tell me, or any of us, that you almost died nine months ago and kept living in London until now.”

Your mouth is entirely dried up, your eyes burning deeply. How long you’d been running and carrying this weight alone on your shoulders starts to reveal itself when your exhaustion finally catches up to you, begging you to wave the white flag and surrender.

You take a deep and shaky breath, “My records were sealed because it was an Interpol agent that attacked me.”

Spencer is stunned into silence. Interpol agent? 

Someone turned on the bureau—turned on you, and decided you would be the scapegoat for the brass’ wrongdoings. Someone you trusted laid their hands on you, and caused you such irreparable damage you felt compelled to carry it alone if the agencies had anything to do with it.

He’s nearly shaking with anger, “We need to report it.”

“I can’t.”

“He hurt you!”, he looks at you with disbelief, “We have to make sure they’re held responsible for it.”

“Spencer,”

“I don’t know why you’re so against it, you should know how important it is to make sure people like him don’t get away with this—“

“Spencer,” you plead.

He stops, finally meeting your eyes and faltering when he sees the tears welling and red rims forming. He takes a sharp breath, “You did report it…didn’t you?”

You can’t help the way your face drops, “I did, yeah.”

Spencer couldn’t believe it. Actually he could, he knows very well the statistics of women getting justice for assault crimes against them and how the odds are rarely stacked in their favor. Still, he feels appalled to think that the same system that he works to uphold—the same one you work for—has failed you so terribly.

If you reported it, then that means you knew your attacker.

“They didn’t know Mark was working both sides until he took me.” you whisper shakily.

Mark, the one who’d been your mentor when you were offered the job. Spencer remembers conversing with him when he was still in talks for the job too,

Spencer knows it should’ve been him instead of you. If he had just taken the job, maybe you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. If he didn’t love you as much as he did to not leave you, maybe you’d be here—safe—while he worried about you from over there. The light that guides him home every night would still be shining in your eyes, and he wouldn’t be stranded in the middle of the dark ocean wondering what you would look like with the swell of his child.

How you looked, with the swell of his child.

At first Spencer is angry—at himself, at you, at the bureau for letting this happen. Then he’s just sad, over what could’ve been, what might be. Spencer would always joke that your stubbornness would lead to your downfall if he couldn’t help it. But you shut him out entirely, left him in the dark wondering if you even still loved him. Repetitively thinking about how easy it was for you to leave him alone back in Quantico. You were always too independent for your own good. It’s then another cold guttural realization stuns him—you were all alone when this happened.

“Oh, angel.” his voice cracks.

At this point, you’re just trying hard to keep it together. You weren’t expecting to have to reopen this wound again, although you should be considered a fool for thinking you could hide it from the very person you sealed it up for. You’re stubborn to a fault, constantly desperate for complete and total control over your life. Paining yourself is a valiant effort you invoke to protect others from the torturous reality you’ve spun for yourself. It seemed like the best option.

After all, a self inflicted wound is enough control for you–if you’ve already hurt yourself another cut can’t cause worse damage. Most people would show mercy at some point, not willing to cross the lines of depravity to wound you so badly. 

But you? Crossing the line leads you right back to yourself, a circle even. Boundless to the restraints of humanity and unfiltered to the consequences of shame and guilt. 

It’s why not telling Spencer was doable. Keeping it from him hurt you more than anyone could ever begin to comprehend. 

If nothing in this world can be created or destroyed then the pain you feel must be arbitrary, a remanifestation of your own being returning back to where it came from. Angry to be disturbed in the first place, entitled to return home.

Everything will always go back to the way it was. 

Even Spencer. 

Even you.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you,” you sniffle, sitting down on the couch “I really wanted to.”

“So why didn’t you?”

You whisper, “I was so embarrassed.”

He dares to step closer, “Why embarrassed?”

“I—I know they offered you the position before me,” his eyes widen as you continue, “I was so mad at you at first because you didn’t tell me, and then I realized why you didn’t take it and I felt so shitty about it. But I needed it, you know? It was supposed to be good for my career! I don’t have fancy degrees and publications and the reputation you have. You know how hard I’ve worked to get to this point? But I kept feeling like I couldn’t measure up, wouldn’t measure up no matter how hard I tried.”

“Measure up to what, baby?”

“You!” you wail, “I wanted to prove that I could do it, on my own.”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me or anyone. You never did, you know that.” he says tearfully, finally taking a spot next to you.

You sniffle, “Well, I didn’t think I could. I felt so out of my element when I got there, Spence. But then Mark started watching me, helping me out where he could. He told me he saw potential in me, and made himself my mentor while I was there.”

His blood boils at the mention of Mark but lets you continue. “I…I trusted him. He said he wanted to help me, that he understood what it was like coming fresh from the States.”

“But then,” your face crumples, Spencer’s hands itch at his side to reach out for you, “I was walking to my car one night. I stayed late, because I was finishing a case study. Next thing I knew, there was a bag over my head and I couldn’t breathe.”

Spencer subconsciously inches closer, his hand ghosting the expanse of your body. “Then what happened?”

“When I woke up I was in a warehouse, they tied my hands to the chair I was sitting in. And I waited for someone to come in. Then I saw Mark.” you whisper.

His hand moves to bravely rests on yours, knowing you need all the courage you can get right now. “Was Mark the one who hurt you?”

You nod erratically, “He thought I knew something about the Silk Road, that trafficking network.”

Spencer remembers investigating the Silk Road affairs, they were slowly but surely getting every single person involved in it. You were a big help when you were here, able to pinpoint when and where these people might be hiding.

“I was telling him the truth, there wasn’t anything I knew about active Silk Road members,” you strain, “He didn’t believe me, and it wasn’t what he wanted from me anyway.”

His other hand rests on the couch ledge behind you, “What did he want, baby?”

You let out a soft whine, “I had a contact in London who knew the password to the Silk Road database. I met with him before my first day, and he told me.”

His fingers ghost your shoulder and you don’t move to his relief, letting his touch be more intentional. “But Mark knew you met him.”

You nod, “He knew I knew the password. That’s what he wanted. I—I wouldn’t give it to him, it was too dangerous to let him have it.” A sob breaks through your voice, “Everytime I said no, he’d hurt me.”

You gently pull your shirt up to reveal the scar he saw in the break room that day, but you pull it further up to reveal a few more scars and bruising that still hadn’t faded.

His breath catches like a fish on a hook. “Oh my god,” Each scar is meticulously placed, intentional. The scars have mostly healed, but the remnants of the marks are so expansive it physically pains him to think about what you suffered when they were inflicted. This wasn’t supposed to happen to you.

The guilt settles in him like a rock when he thinks about how strong you had to be to survive this. All alone in a new country with no one you could trust anymore. You’ve always been a different breed of strength, something he marveled at about you. But you’re still in the fight or flight mode of standing strong in your surroundings. A prey who knows the predator routine all too well, knowing the second you falter is when they strike.

He tucks your head into the crevice of his neck—you don’t need to be strong anymore, he’s here now.

“It looks worse than it feels, I swear.” you tug your shirt back down, “I really didn’t know I was pregnant until I woke up in the hospital, Spencer. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey no,” he shushes, closing the distance between you to gather you in his arms, “don’t even think about that okay, I’m not mad.”

“I should’ve told you.” you cry.

“I know why you didn’t, it’s okay. You were just trying to protect yourself.” Spencer hushes, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”

“I wouldn’t let you,” you lament, “I shut you out.”

His hand gently runs up and down your spine, “I’m not mad at you, angel.”

“You should be.”

Another question burns his tongue, “Why didn’t you come home?”

“I wanted to, but…when I tried to report it they acted like they already knew. And I told them what happened to me, what he did, and all they said was that they’d look into it. I saw him at work the next day. I transferred to a different building the day after.” you recount, “I think there’s more Interpol agents working both sides, Spencer.”

“Does Mark still work there?”

“Yeah, I think so…What are you doing?”

He grabs his phone and opens his message thread with Penelope, drafting a text about calling the team and booking flights, “I’m telling Garcia to find flights to London.”

Your eyes widen, “Why would you do that?”

“Because I’m going to kill him.”

“Spencer,” you chide.

“And once the rest of the team finds out what happened I’m sure they’ll be on board with it too.”

“Please don’t do anything. I don’t want to cause any more trouble. It was nearly a year ago now, it’s okay. ” you mutter.

He pauses typing and sets his phone back down, scooching back to you and holding your face to his, unable to break eye contact with him, “No it’s not,” he says sternly, “what happened to you was not okay. Do you understand?”

“But–”

“No. You can’t do that. You won’t. This isn’t some sort of inconvenience we move past. You were taken advantage of, and someone hurt you. You did not deserve that at all.”

You pause and look at him, the tears spilling over down your cheeks. You’d spent the last year in solitude convincing yourself that it was all your fault. Your ambition was too strong, you were too eager, you should’ve been tougher. You lived a truth in which you were the problem. Spencer wasn’t there to remind you otherwise, but he’s ready to spend forever making up for lost time. “I…I didn’t deserve that.”

His eyes soften and his thumbs move under your eyes, swiping gently, “No, you didn’t.” A few more quiet sobs leave you, “So why did it happen to me?” you ask meekly.

“I don’t know, angel. I really don’t.” he smooths your hair back, “I’m going to make it better, though. It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

You nod and hug him tighter, letting a few more tears fall and stain his shirt. “I should be the one to tell the team, I know they’re probably wondering too.”

“They were really worried about you.”

“I’m sorry for worryin—“

“Shh,” he presses a kiss to your forehead, “No more sorrys, okay?”

“Okay.” you curl into him.

“For the record,” he hesitates before he speaks, “I’ll always worry about you. Even if we’re not together, in different universes, or whatever. I’ll always take care of you, and I’ll always love you.”

“I thought you hated me.” you whisper.

“Impossible.” he kisses another part of your face he can reach.

“I love you too, thank you.”

For being here. For saving me. For still loving me.

“He’s going to pay for this, I promise.” You open your mouth to protest and Spencer continues, “He will get what’s coming to him. We’re going to make sure of it.”

You nod softly and listen to his heartbeat. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, baby.”

“You know I did die in the ambulance for a few seconds.” you whisper quietly.

He swallows, “I saw that in the report. I’m so sorry, sweet girl, that must have been so scary. I know what that feels like.”

“Did you…see anything, when you died?”

From when he almost succumbed to the hands of Tobias Hankel and his father. “I saw a light, it felt warm. Enveloping. Why, did you see something?”

“Yeah,” you tuck in closer to his chest, “I saw you.”

spoiler cw: pregnancy, miscarriage, reader is tortured, reader sustains injuries

[spideyanakin]

james 'bucky' barnes - fic recs

other fic recs | navigation

works by @danysdaughter

the soldier and the vixen ➾ 40s!bucky x 40s!fem!reader & winter!soldier x hydra!reader & post!tfatws!bucky x fem!reader, once comrades bound by war and affection, two soldiers-turned-weapons are reshaped into monsters by hydra, their humanity fractured and memories blurred. now free but haunted, they struggle to untangle love from programming, grief from guilt, and healing from the wreckage of who they used to be (THIS IS MY FAVORITE BUCKY FIC EVER. I took this to my mind palace so many times im sobbing. I love it so much)

cетка ➾ civil!war!bucky x widow!reader, when you, a former red room widow crosses paths with the man who once trained you���now a ghost of the monster you remember—your collision reignites memories neither of you can outrun. in a world that only ever taught you two to survive, you find something you were never trained for: each other. (HOLY SHIT!!! the whole start where they meet and its just them rediscovering life together and hanging out is insane. like I could bathe in that all day, and then the ending!!?? like babes this is brilliant)

works by @buckysleftbicep

bent and bruised (series) ➾ new avengers!bucky barnes x fem!ex-hydra!reader, you were built by HYDRA to please the soldier—then left for dead. years later, bucky sees your face again. but no amount of time can erase the way you once whispered his name through tears. (HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT. THIS THIS THIS this is brilliant, this is magic.)

cradles and chaos ➾ new avenger!bucky x pregnant!fem!reader, you wanted to surprise bucky with the news—you’re pregnant. the only problem? everyone else on the team found out first. cue the chaos. (the banter and character dynamic have me CRYING. in love with this, I could read it 500 times)

high for this ➾ new avenger!bucky x fem!reader, during a mission, you and bucky are exposed to a gas meant to strip away restraint. he resists, and well, you try. but when the heat fades, it’s not the mission that haunts you both, it’s what happened behind that door. (I needed a good cold shower after this, holy crap)

for better or for worse ➾ new avenger!bucky x fem!reader, you and bucky are forced to play newlyweds at a luxury honeymoon resort. he’s controlling, you’re reckless, and now you’re sharing a bed. the problem? it’s getting harder to play pretend. and you’re not sure either of you will survive what comes next. (I- this whole series had me HOOKED. the tension. the yearning, the banter, the angst? obsessed)

works by @buckyseternaldoll

seargant's magic mouth ➾ you thought you were just his fling. He thought you were his girl. then you overheard steve teasing bucky about his legendary skills in the bedroom—particularly his mouth. bucky gets flustered. you get curious. a week later, he proved he’s still got it. (THE DYNAMIC? the yearning? im here, im sold. I love this)

five seconds, five years (series) ➾ bucky barnes proposed just days before the world ended — afraid he might never get another chance. Then he vanished in Wakanda. Five years later, he’s at your door — unchanged, while your whole life has moved on. Some love survives time. But what happens when life doesn’t wait? (stop this made me cry- genuinely on the edge the whole time, loved it)

works by @artficlly

lessons in lovemaking (series) ➾ bucky x blackwidow!reader, you and bucky barnes go undercover as a married couple, but when a fake kiss gets too real, he unexpectedly finishes in his pants—leaving you both stunned. (WAAAAAAAAAA, STOP THIS IS A MASTERPIECE IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE, SOBBING CRYING THROWING UP. genuinely think this is one of my fav bucky series out there. the way the reader is torn with her own demons and the yearning for it to be normal but- AGH. I'm stunned and obsessed w this series darling.)

this is (not) fine ➾ personal assistant!reader personal assistant rules: don’t crush on bucky barnes. definitely don’t misinterpret a flower delivery and spiral into silent heartbreak, and absolutely never ever get stuck alone with him in an elevator. (OH MY GOD. STOP. THIS. THIS. im obsessed w the amount of detailing of what the team needs ect.. I adored it so much and the way everythning is descried and bucky noticing shit ;') stop im crying. and the smut?? holy cow I- I think its killed me)

works by @barnesonly

yearning ➾ you and bucky have been together for a while now, but haven’t had sex yet—he’s insecure, afraid he forgot how. but one night, things finally happen… (holy shit this was so sexy and amazing and SWEET, and just ugh. I loved every inch of this fic thank you for the masterpiece AGH)

(series) lust ➾ professor!bucky barnes x reader, you’re a literature student. he’s your english professor — brilliant, composed, and entirely off-limits. But the more you write, the more he notices you. And what begins as admiration quietly unravels into something far more dangerous. (THE WAY I ATE THIS SERIES UP. Its still on going, but I just could not stop reading. oh my god. there's just something about it.)

other works by amazing writers

manchild by @houseofhyde ➾ bucky can't help but wonder why they always come running to you,, or your living fossil of a roommate disapproves of your taste in men and its totally not because he wants a taste of you. (HOLY COW, the yearning? the pinning? the LAYERS, the banter? the slutting out on the floor of her kitchen while repairing her sink? yes. amen.)

come back to me by @peterparkive ➾ post-thunderbolts!bucky x fem!reader, it’s been three years since you and Bucky called it quits. you learned to live without him, to stop waiting for a knock that would never come. until tonight, when he shows up at your front door with his team and tired eyes, asking for a place to crash. his presence, bathed in the soft light of your doorstep, stirs feelings long buried—ones you thought had vanished the night he did. (OH MY GOD. the yearning??? the angst?? im living for it. Yelena being a menace, and the whole dynamic!!?? crying sobbing throwing up!!)

one dance by @daxisyzz ➾ mafia!best man!Bucky Barnes x moh!Reader, bride!Natasha Romanoff x groom!Steve Rogers, Your best friend Natasha is marrying a man whose world you don’t understand. At her extravagant wedding, you’re just trying to blend in — until a pair of blue eyes finds you from across the aisle. James Buchanan Barnes, Steve’s right hand, watches you like you don’t belong here… and maybe like you do. (HOLY SHIT. this was absolutely stunning. I ADORED every bit of it. and just the dynamics oh my god.)

reckless fever, lover girl by @rosesaints ➾ avenger!reader, you think it’s nothing—just a one-off, a fluke—when bucky softens at the sight of a baby in your arms during a cookout. but then it keeps happening. babies at airports. babies on recon. babies in vending machine ads. and every time, he looks at you like you’re the answer to a question he hasn’t asked out loud yet. he starts carrying gum “in case someone’s kid gets fussy on a flight,” stares too long at tiny boots in store windows, and once, unironically, asks if your hypothetical child would like goats. you’re not dating. officially. no one knows. but you’ve been sharing a bed for months and he makes you tea without asking and you’re starting to have dreams about pacifiers. he’s subtle about it. until he’s not. until he’s standing at a target, holding a baby hat like it cracked his ribs open, and says he wants a family—with you. not someday. now. (THIS WAS SO WELL WRITTEN. I- I-. The dynamic, and the yearning, and the way Bucky was written, STOP- I- I'm going to cry. I'm on my knees for this, this was so beautiful)

[lesbikaiser]

I love ur writing so much maybe even more than I love ness 😸😸 could you do ness w/ a biting kink?? I just know he'd probably be so possessive and want to put his mark all over you so everyone knows you're his hehe TYSM if u do it ilyy

hii babe! im glad you like it that much omg! ofc i can, i loooove the concept of jealous ness because it's so him to be like that! really hope you like this one <3

cw for a bit of blood!

ness' lips feel hot against your neck, his tongue licking down the column of your throat as sharp teeth drag against your flesh, teasing to mark your immaculate skin. his hands clutch the fabric of your clothing tight enough to get to your waist, it's probably bruising your sides but you don't seem to care when his hips are literally pounding into you, cock dragging on your sensitive walls and each thrust reaching a particularly pleasurable spot that has your eyelids fluttering shut and moans getting higher.

your sounds mix with ness' desperate whimpers right in your ear, his fluffy hair tickles your chin and the smell of his shampoo fills your senses, it's so sickeningly sweet – just like him. you shove your face into his locks when his dick reaches deeper, tip hitting harder against your g-spot and making you bite back a whine of his name. but he hears it, and it almost makes him cum.

your cunt feels incredible around him, wet, tight and warm, clamping down on his dick in a vice grip and sucking him in every time he pulls out, it nearly makes him forget what got him to bring you to the lockers and fuck you right on the sink.

keyword: nearly. he can't forget it though, how you showed up at his practice looking prettier than usual – he didn't think it was even possible. a sweet smile tugging at your lips as you waved your hand towards him, showing the bag he forgot when leaving your shared apartment and he swore your orbs were sparkling, hair silkier than how he remembered and skin glowing under the sunlight in a way he could get blind if he stared for too long – and he was ready to risk it because you looked exceptional. he couldn't take his eyes off your figure bouncing towards the benches, and it would be a perfect memory if he hadn't noticed how all of his teammates were suddenly too interested, beyond the acceptable for just being curious about the intruder.

no, they were all gawking at you, seated prettily and waiting for him to go talk to you.

that's why he interrupted practice, excusing himself from the field and running towards where you were patiently sitting, he could feel his colleagues' gaze piercing holes at his back as he grabbed your hand and pulled you with him, guiding your confused self into the lockers and glueing his lips to yours as soon you both got in.

he needs them to know you're already taken, needs it to be as clear as day that he's your boyfriend and you're the happiest with him.

he moves away from your neck, watching your glossy eyes and swollen, slightly parted lips with your tongue lolling out, you are so fucked out already, quiet whimpers leaving you as you try in vain to hold back, brows furrowed as you stare back at him. shit, how is he supposed to control himself when you look so pretty, so hot while getting railed?

and he's the only one who can get you like this. no one other than himself is able to satisfy you the way he does, and no one will ever get to love you the way he loves you.

with his fingers wrapping around one of your knees, he pushes your leg further open, drilling his cock inside your hole faster – harder, ripping a loud moan out of you as you bring your hand to cover your mouth, trying your best to stay quiet. the helpless glare you give him is enough to drive him insane, doe eyes silently pleading him to have mercy on you because the others might just hear it with how loud you both are being, the sounds of skin slapping against skin, his whimpers and your whines bouncing off the walls and echoing through the tiles.

but he needs to make it clear what you two are doing right now, and if he can't have them hearing, they'll surely see the evidences of it on you.

"they were all–ngh! all ogling you... filthy bastards, gotta make sure they know you're mine." circling your waist with his free arm, he brings your body even closer to his – it that's even possible. kissing down from your cheek to your jaw, then reaching your neck, he sucks a bruise right on your collarbone, where he knows your shirt won't cover and it's gonna catch the attention of whoever looks at you – anyone will know you're taken at first sight. you whine at the feeling, nails scratching his nape and ness thinks he might just cum on the spot – you're marking him too.

he doesn't stop at just one hickey, painting your neck red and purple from your jaw to your shoulders, tongue licking at every new mark to soothe your fragile skin, and with each one he can feel you clenching tighter and tighter around him, your inner thighs getting slippery with the amount of slick your sloppy cunt is gushing out, soaking his dick, pelvis and even the sink you're sitting on.

he knows you're about to cum anytime, and so is he. letting go of your knee, he brings his fingers to your neglected clit, rubbing the soft pad of his thumb against it and the moan you let out is simply insane, how you call his name so desperately as you seek your high – and he knows he's the only thing in your clouded mind.

you're his, and his only, and the way your throw your head back, presenting your bruised neck for him – he knows you want him to give you everything he got. and so he does, sinking his teeth on your flesh, biting you hard enough to draw blood – the metallic taste all over his tongue, it's delicious, even more when you cry out as you cum on his dick, walls spasming around him.

"mmph– alexis!" it's all too much for him, the taste of your blood, your moan of his name and your sweet pussy gushing all over his cock and abdomen, practically milking him dry, he cums so hard his vision goes white for an instant.

still mouthing on your soft flesh, there's a comfortable silent in the room as both of you come down from your highs, panting heavily against each other and whining when ness pulls out of your spent hole. he bathes in the sight of your colorful throat, admiring like a proud artist admires their art, it takes all out him to not get hard again when he spots the bite mark right where your shoulder meets your neck.

"mine~" he licks and kisses the print of his teeth on your skin, muttering a small 'sorry' when he sees you wincing at the stinging pain. coming to look you in the eyes, he showers your cheeks with smooches, making you giggle before giving the fatest kiss on your lips, orbs practically heart-shaped when he speaks. "love you, mein schatz. won't let anyone take you away from me."

let's say, nobody dared to look at you for too long when you both showed up a few minutes later, your neck covered in purple marks and ness' nape red with scratches.

[exhaslo]

OMG HI IM BACK I HOPE UR HYDRATED

FAST AND FURIOUS MIGUEL AND READER WHERE THEY’RE RIDE OR DIE, STREET RACING WHERE MIGGY WINS AND GETS HIS PRIZE IN THE BACKSEAT OF HIS OLD 2000s MODELED SUZUKI ?????

NEVER WATCHED A SINGLE FAST AND FURIOUS

BUT I'M NEVER ONE TO BACK DOWN ON A GOOD OL' BACKSEAT RIDE OR DIE CAR SEX HAHAHA

Sorry this was so late to be posted. I'm still backed up with requests from last month!

Warning: MINORS DNI, smut, car sex, fingering

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was never a dull moment in the city of Nueva York. Every street had something to offer, no matter the time of day. From the sunrise to even past the sunset. There was a reason why this city was given the name, 'The city that never sleeps'.

Amongst its citizens was you. A lovely night owl, just gearing up to be entertained by your fantastic boyfriend. Honestly, this was something that you had never thought of as entertaining. Car racing in the middle of the city was what kept you up most nights...

But Miguel showed you otherwise.

That man was going to drive you insane. When you first met him, you swore that all he cared about was his car. He treated it more like a woman than you sometimes, but...you opened up to his point of view. You saw how much Miguel cared about both you and his night life activities.

That, and he was goddamn hot when working on his 'baby'. Miguel was a mechanic during the day and one of the best street racers at night. You on the other hand just worked a normal office job; however, you easily became one of the most popular flag girls for the race.

"Amor (love), are you trying to temp me before the race?" Miguel said with a low hum as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

You felt your cheeks fluster as Miguel pressed you against the wall. His kisses against the back of your neck were sweet and hungry. With a soft press of his hips, you felt Miguel's erection right into your booty shorts.

"Miguel, this is what the other flag girls told me to wear," You said with a soft whine, turning around in his grip, "They mentioned something about a special prize I'll be offering."

"Hn," Miguel grunted lowly as he glanced at the time, "Whatever prize it maybe, this body is only meant for me to see."

"Haha, they're just booty shorts. I haven't worn something like this in such a long time."

"And the tight tank top?" Miguel rested his head by your breasts, inhaling deeply, "Ay dios mio (oh my god), I better win this race and fast so I can tend to you."

You chuckled at Miguel's possessiveness. Pecking his lips, you stroked his cheeks, rubbing against the small gruff he had growing. Miguel pouted and quickly went to clean and shave. Sometimes he forgot about himself when he worked.

Once ready, you scooted yourself into Miguel's passenger seat. Miguel leaned over to land a deep kiss against your lips before driving off to the event sight.

You remembered the first time he let you in his, 'baby'. You were confused as to why he took so much care of an old 2000s Suzuki. Miguel gave you quite a story when he explained everything in detail. How even the smallest mod could change the way he drives.

There were a lot of do's and don'ts in his car too. You followed them since you knew how much Miguel cared about his car. Glancing at his backseat, you wondered what Miguel was working on there. He had been making some changes and improvements that always left you curious.

"Alright, make sure you wave that flag extra high for me when I win," Miguel said with a low chuckle as you got out of his car.

"Hopefully the prize is just as good."

"I could always use some more parts," Miguel hummed and winked towards you before driving off to the others.

You smiled brightly as you hurried to the other girls. This was going to be a first for you. Taking part in Miguel's hobby made you happy. The other girls giggled towards you as led you to the starting line. Everyone cheered once you all arrived.

"Shake that ass!!" Some of the men in the crowd cheered.

You felt your face burn up and looked around for Miguel. Once you found him, you giggled towards the glare he gave to the crowd. This was probably going to be the last time you became a flag girl. Miguel was far too possessive of you to have men drool.

"Alriiiiight, who's ready for tonight's race?!" The announcer yelled out, followed by a wave of cheers, "We got a special prize today! Been a while since we've gotten a new flag girl, so you all know what this means!"

"Trophy! Trophy! Trophy!"

"Thaaaaat's right! (Y/N) will be the delicious trophy for today's prize! Here that racers! You get a special night with our lovely (Y/N)!"

You felt your face pale as you tried to ask the other girls what the announcer meant. They all just smiled and reassured you that it was fun and no harm done. You knew better. Staring at Miguel, you frowned as you saw the scorn on his face.

Miguel hurriedly got in his car and revved up the engine. You trusted Miguel, so you had faith that he was going to win, but if he didn't...Miguel might end up fighting someone.

-------

Miguel was beyond furious. He knew that some of these races got a little out of hand, but to use you as a prize? Cussing lowly as he gripped the wheel, Miguel slammed the gas petal once the flag was raised. He refused to let anyone else have you.

Hearing another engine rev, Miguel hissed as he saw his main competition catch up to him. The nerve! Gripping onto the stick shift, Miguel just smirked as he decided to go full out. He had to show these people that he was number one for a goddamn reason!

-------

You were shaking in your seat as you watched the race from one of the monitors. Biting your thumb, you nearly whimpered as some of the other racers came a little too close to Miguel. Miguel was still far in the lead, but it didn't stop you from worrying.

After another few go arounds, you gasped in awe as Miguel took the victory once again. Unable to contain your excitement, you rushed over to your boyfriend as the announcer cheered him on.

"Are you ready for you-Oh, hey, wait! We're not done!"

You were giggling to yourself as Miguel carried you with in and threw you in his car before driving off. Glancing back at the annoyed announcer, you cheered and wrapped your arms around Miguel's neck from the back seat.

"I was so worried! No one told me I was going to be the prize!" You said with a soft whine. Miguel kissed your hand as he drove to a remote spot,

"Neither did I, babe. I wasn't going to let anyone win." He grumbled as he parked, "But, since I did. I should claim my prize."

You raised a brow before laughing as Miguel made his way to the backseat. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you smiled as you gave him light kisses around his face. Miguel hummed in response before licking your lips.

You parted your lips for him, moaning softly as Miguel ravished your mouth with his tongue. His hands roaming your upper body, slowly sliding your top off. A shiver ran down your spine as the cold AC from the car hit your exposed nipples.

"Are you sure you want to do it here?" You asked, humming softly as Miguel kissed your neck.

"Made sure its comfortable," Was all he said as he started to rub your clit through your pants, "But, can't make a mess in here."

You whimpered in response, arching your back as Miguel licked your breasts. His tongue swirling around your nipple as his rough movements against your clit made you tremble. You grabbed onto his arms, trying to balance yourself as you moved your hips.

Miguel grunted in response as he undid your shorts, throwing them on the ground. He proceeded to bite and suck against your nipples while his fingers went under your panties and circled against your sensitive bud.

"M-Mig~"

"So wet already for me." Miguel chuckled as you moaned, "If you make a mess in my car baby, I'll have to punish you."

"I-I won't." You whimpered, tugging against his arms.

You shuddered in pleasure as Miguel moved his fingers down to your cunt. It was hard for you to move since Miguel's body was pressing you into his seat. Another whimper of a moan escaped your lips as you felt him play with your folds before slowly entering a finger into your pussy.

"Miguel~" You cried out, throwing your head back.

Your moans grew louder as you felt your loving boyfriend pump his thick digits into your core. His tongue still against your breasts, sucking against them. You body was burning up, shaking and ready to burst...but you couldn't make a mess.

Part of you wanted to cum all over his seat and take the punishment, but the other part of you was enjoying Miguel's game. Gasping as Miguel entered another finger, you moaned loudly as he curled his fingers into your gummy core.

You finally burst when you felt his fingers press against your sweet spot. Crying out his name, you panted softly as Miguel pulled his fingers out. His smirk was wide as he licked his fingers clean, holding your hips up.

"Good girl, keeping my baby clean." He said with a low chuckle.

"Mhpm," You nodded and trembled as Miguel slowly pressed his tip inside your hole, "M-Miguel~"

"You're doing so good." He hummed, slowly pushing himself deeper inside you, "Always taking me in so well."

"Mig~ Miguel~" You cried out, feeling him fill you.

You squirmed in place, clenching against Miguel's dick as he furthered entered you. You could never get over the feeling of Miguel splitting you open, filling you to the very brim. His dick always bruising your cervix, giving you a reason to stay in bed for days.

"That's my girl," Miguel hummed as he sat his dick nice and deep inside of you.

You whined in response, reaching out for Miguel to move. He kissed your hands once more before starting his ruthless charade of thrusts. You cried and moaned as the car shook under you. Miguel's cock was slamming into your wet cunt, claiming you as his.

Arching your back as Miguel bullied his cock into you, you cried out a series of moans as you felt your orgasm approach again. Miguel held your hips, slapping himself into you. The sounds of your bodies echoing throughout the small car.

"Keep it in, baby. No messes," Miguel grunted as you came again.

You gasped and shuddered as Miguel changed positions, placing you on top of his lap. His grip was tight on your ass as he made you bounce against his cock. Pressing your chest against his, you whined as Miguel gave you his first load of cum..

"Good girl," Miguel hummed. You rested your head against his chest, your pussy sucking his cock dry,

"D-Don't bully me too much," You whimpered. Miguel stroked your cheek, kissing you deeply,

"I'm just claiming my beautiful prize," He teased, holding your hips as you started bouncing on him again, "Maybe we can make this an every victory reward?"

"Ah~ Mhm~ Y-Yes~" You moaned, panting heavily as you felt drawn into pleasure, "I-I'll reward you....for each win~"

"And if I lose?" Miguel asked, pinching your clit. You cried, cumming against him once more on the spot,

"T-Then...I'll ah~....mhm...c-console you."

"Awe, what did I do to deserve you?" Miguel chuckled, pressing you against his seat before pounding you from behind, "I'll reward you too, baby. You did cheer me on."

"Yes~ Yes!" You cried as Miguel bottomed out inside you, "M-Miguel~" You whimpered.

Miguel chuckled as he pulled out, using his fingers to keep his cum inside your abused cunt. You shivered in response and whined as Miguel put your clothes back on.

"No messes. Keep me inside." He whispered in your ear. You shivered in response and nodded,

"...So...When's the next race?"

"In an hour."

Your face turned bright red as Miguel roared in laughter. He kissed you once more before returning to the driver's seat, making his way back to the event sight. You behaved and sat in the back seat, anticipating his upcoming win.

You just had to make sure not to make a mess in his car.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!

[sturniolo04]

hiii! could you make a chris fic where reader and him have been dating since they were liek 12-13(you lost your virginity to him at around 15) and it shocks everyone like nick, matt, tara, jake, johnnie, quen, larray, sam and colby bc one day you guys all hang out and it shocks them how long you two have been together? once you start writing/see this request could you message me or something so i know!

A/n:  ofc! I absolutely love these requests I have coming in, you guys are amazing!! I hope you love it! And remember to leave requests in my inbox! If you don’t like the pre added name in my works you can simply put in your own or don’t read it, it up to you :)-Charli

Dividers: @issysh3ll

Childhood best friends you always assumed they would end up married or even dating for a very long time and when it came to you and Chris that’s exactly what happened between the two of you.

“Hi chris”

Your 10 year old self squeals running outside to meet Chris since you two planned to ride your bikes together for a while.

“Hi Hannah”

Chris chuckles out as  he gives you a soft quick hug. You not really sure when things started to shift for you and Chris feelings wise, you just knew that you were in love with Chris’ eyes and you could get lost in the all day every day. You remember exactly when it clicked for Chris though because he told you.

“What are you looking at you weirdo”

Your 13 year old self chuckles nudging your shoulder into Chris’ as you two were sitting on his front lawn hanging out.

“You”

Chris sighs out a pink tint rising on his cheeks as he scratches the back of his neck. Your eyes gleam into his as he seems to be struggling to find the words.

“Chris what’s up”

You slowly trail trying to pick his brain. Chris clears his throat finally building up the courage.

“Listen Hannah-“

Chris trails off turning his body to face you and take hold of your hands  in his.

“Chris you’re scaring me”

You giggle softly still begin serious.

“I don’t know what it is but I like you a lot and I don’t know if its because im grew up with you but I just-can see myself not hanging out with you and doing more with you”

Chris trails off as you quickly bring your lips up to his cheek placing a quick kiss to it silencing him.

“You’re cute”

You giggle out as chris’ turns as deeper she of pink and that’s where it started  and honestly you didn’t know that it was going to end up leading to you and chris to feeling comfortable to give each other your guys virginities at 15.

————————

“Are you sure about this”

Chris questions you as you take your shirt off sitting on his bed.

“More than sure”

You giggle looping your fingers through chris’ jean belt hoops pulling you into him as you two fall on the bed together linking your guys lips together.

Which brings you to now you and chris being at the prime age of 21 hanging out with a few influencer that you two have made through moving to LA and having your influencer careers. Sometimes not only does it amaze you and chris that you two have been together that long just as much as your friends are amazed by it.

“This is literally insane”

Colby states out of the blue as you all are sitting in the Triplets living room.

“What is insane”

Matt chuckles at the randomness of the statement.

“I mean Hannah and Chris have been together since they were 13”

Colby chuckles trying to still wrap his head around it. 

“Shut the fuck up that’s crazy”

Tara gasps out as everyone illicit the same reaction.

“Y’all don’t realize that you guys were together that long”

Sam asks you two.

“I mean not really I mean chris and I fucked at 15 and took each other virginities”

You causally state out shrugging your shoulders.

“WHOA okay did not need to hear that”

Nick gasps out as Larray and Queen laugh.

“Damn at 15 is crazy but good for you guys you know”

Larray gasp out making everyone chuckle. 

Taglist

@mintsturniolo @wh0resstuff @spicymuffins03 @stayingstromboli @emely9274 @ksturnz @chaoswithus @ivysturnss @courta13 @sturniolo-szn2 @chrepsi @lezleeferguson-120

[cultofcola]

would you tap about regulus? i never see anyone talk about him and i’d like to know what he is like!

omg omg yes so, i have just this….idea (??) of him because i haven't shifted to my dr, but because i am a seer there i got some actual non scripted memories of him and us (apparently i can do this???) and like. brrrrrrrrrrr. ok.regulus. arcturus. black.

he is a pain in the ass. but only if you are not that smart. no wait…even then. he is the guy who would hate pretentious people but doesn't realize he is one of them. (maybe he does but he is not saying that out loud loooool). curious but not enough to be transgressive & always remembers things about people. he would notice a guy dropping a pen in class and him being too anxious to take it back, and remember it for the rest of his days. when your parents say to you 'no one is watching and no one cares about what you do' they are wrong, because regulus is watching. if you are thinking 'stop being anxious, no one cares!' you are wrong, he is secretly judging you. those cheekbones are that high for a reason. the more he is a evil little shit the more sculpted they become

dude stares. he grew up with a family who is not afraid to say their bitchy opinions, so i fear he inherited that. at least he says them with his face and not with his words…….and i think it's better?

he absolutely hates his second name but says to everyone else that he is proud to have it because he thinks his grandfather (same name) is some type of god. he doesn't like green that much. he says he hates my pink hair but he's sad when i make them of a natural colour. he loooves reading (& i plan on making him watch muggle movies. if he becomes a cinephile like his beautiful girlfriend aka me im going to love him even more) and absolutely hates his family members who try to ban books because of different ideals (he is very against censorship)

like every other person on the planet he is a quidditch fanatic and he's the slytherin seeker (ew!!!!!!!! seriously am i the only one who hates quidditch or??????? but it's ok i will root for him, except when he plays against my girl @lyraxnova sorry mate) and he, like his father, is very much into politics. he would be great at making propaganda now that im thinking about it……….mm

his sarcastic comeback would make me laugh if they weren't said towards ME. i like to think that i make funny jokes, and i also like to think that i am miss sarcasm. apparently he is the mr. but he is neat with it. he says it in a tone so serious that you start asking yourself if he is actually joking or not. and he doesn't break into a laugh…so you just keep worrying. sometimes a smile and sometimes a smirk. he takes his jokes seriously *insert clip of me rolling my eyes* (he is the perfect man for me)

very smart. very ambitious. typical slytherin. calculating and kisses the ass of the teacher in a sublime way. people just think that teachers love him because he is smart but i NOTICE those little smiles and nods he gives them. he is such a teacher's pet. he loves charms but says to everyone that his favourite subject his potions. (sirius knows he's lying but never brings that up)

HE LIKES THE COLOUR PURPLE I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYSSSSS RAHHHHHHHH

he is very proud of his friends and would never change them for anything in the world. #bromance. cute.

he is so babygirl not the movie. likes a good debate. doesn't get mad easily but you can easily annoy him. he is so cute when he wants to be and sometimes i forget that he is (lowkey) an asshole. but he is a gentleman, in the most anthony-bridgerton-type-of-way. when i am going insane he is calm and when he is coward i am brave. heart heart heart heart.

he doesn't like flowers. which is okay because me neither. we bond over it because apparently everyone thinks it's romantic giving each other flowers. we think it's more romantic sharing a book and reading each other's notes. i think im also pretentious. but it's ok because he loves that 😌

when he is bored as hell he traces the lines on my palms with his fingers……..cute ngl………….gonna sob brb

his curls are always perfect like bro can you share your secrets with your brother because he looks like a dog (hah you got the joke right)

ok bye i’m getting embarrassed now

emotions closed

[aayakashii]

my thoughts abt the whole episode

Lyca being considerate of MC's curse........ LYCA LEARNING CERTAIN SOCIAL CUES IN ORDER TO KEEP MC CALM.... I LOVE MY BABY

mc is so nice 😔 giving the doll a proper name that fits the Kirisaki family :(((( the little quiver in Zenji's voice :(((( man I cant, Zenji makes me so sad LMAO I love him but he's such a tragic character... every time I look at him I remember how his max affinity line is saying he hopes to meet MC in their next life because he was too late in this one... god that DESTROYS me

SOMEONE JUST TELL LYCA THAT TOWA REFERS TO MC AS DANDELION PLEASE

ALAN GRUNTING OOOHHH GOD HAVE MERCY ON ME

HAKU JESUS CHRIST. that man is horny 24/7... asking for a picture.... WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT PICTURE AFTERWARDS THEN ARE YOU GOING TO JERK OFF TO IT AND [GETS SHOT]

Oh my god subaru looks so pretty asking us to take his hand....... oh my god and he's being so? Protective? Am i going insane or what

I LOVE THE SIBLING BANTER BETWEEN TOWA AND LYCA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 TWO BIG BABIES while Lyca is the nicest kid and Towa is the one that misbehaves the most

The Sky King......... is so gorgeous. I Need him

HARUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LET ME HELP HIM ON HIS BOOTH PLEASEEEEEEEEE

LYCA WANTING TO PAY FOR OUR SODA ://////// HE'S SUCH A GOOD BOY (he's doing better than most irl men and he canonically barely had any human contact)

HARU IS RHIS A CO FESSION. BECAUSE YES I DO GIVE U MY HAND IN MARRIAGE

ZENJI IS BEING SO SAD FOR WHAT REASONNNNNNN IM SO WORRIED

Lyca loves Sho's food 🥹🥹🥹 im so happy he's interacting more with other ppl (even though he still skipped the line w Towa lmao)

Also why is Sho so hot when he's cooking and being nonchalant goddamn

Towa and Lyca are like. The dumb brothers that enable each other's bad behavior

Btw I talked to Mal abt this, but I was a bit worried Towa would treat Subaru weirdly but I'm glad they get along okay!!!!

SHO IS SO KIND MY GODDDDDDD HE'S SO SWEET TRYING TO GIVE THAT HUGE CANDY TO THE DOLL :(((((((( UGHHHHHHHHH

Also not Alan acting as if Sho is his vice captain while Leo is nowhere to be seen

Zenji is being so melancholic this episode 😔 I wish I could wish for him to be a living being again

STOPPPPPPPPPPPP NOT ALAN GETTING SO LOST HE ENDED UP IN THE SPIRIT WPRLD LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I KNEW LYCA WOULD LIKE ALAAAANNNNN FINALLYYYYYY PLEASE BE FRIENDS IM BEGGING

Also Subaru being happy Alan agreed that they're allies :'))) cute

I MISSED LUCA AND KAITO SMMMMMM MY CHAOS DUOOOOO

My god I wanna kill everyone that's prejudiced against Lyca. Like legit I want to explode them with my mind. I hate hate hate them so much UGHHHHHH THE WAY I WOULD SNAP AT THEM SO FAST LET ME IN THE GAME RN

If Zenji doesnt speak up and say whats wrong im gonna go insane

THESE FUCKING PRICKS ACCUSING LYCA ARE MAKING MY BLOOD PRESSURE RISE SO MUCJ I WANNA KILL THEM ALLL

SUBARU OH MY HOD LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO FINALLY HE SNAPPED FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAA

Man I'm so sad. Why does Lyca have to always be blamed for EVERYTHING all the time :( I'm glad he has more people supporting him, even Towa, but goddamnit

What the fuck. This ending was so sad. I would stay behind with Zenji btw wth? I wouldn't just leave him all in his lonesome 😭 and yet another reminder that the 3rd years are leaving..... where is this story going bruh

Idk I'm sad. This was such a fun episode but it ended so bittersweet :/ im sad....... i dont want the 3rd years to leave and I want Zenji to be happy again ughhhhhhh I'm SADDDDD

[comet-forgot-you]

heyy idk if you're taking requests, but could you write River x reader where she's more dominant?? and maybe reader is more feminine?? I'm obsessed with River...

ofc bae, kinda hard to write for fem reader bc im more masc, so if this is bad im so sorry :[

remember

dealer!river x fem!reader

summary: river loves leaving you hanging, but she just thinks you’re so hot :(

warnings: 18+ pls, smut, strap use, top!river, orgasm denial, marijuana use, fingering, oral, teasing, river takes a picture, rivers a lil mean. like a lot a little. lots of cursing idk, lmk if theres more! do not repost this work as your own.

a/n: this took me so long to write lol, im sorry anon 😭. i kinda dont like this, i tried im sorry. anyway i kept accidentally writing amber instead of river and i literally don’t know why. enjoy :D

the air of river’s room was humid, the sounds of you panting being the only thing heard over the blaring music of the ongoing party outside of the room was the sounds of your pants and river’s endless remarks.

“gonna cum? already? we haven’t even been here that long,” her strap is bottomed out in you as she whispers the words mockingly in your ear. you whine against her jaw, hips struggling to keep up with the quick pace river had set.

"m' sorry," your words are slurred, thoughts jumbled together, the only thing the actually makes sense in the moment is river.

river chuckles, pulling back to get a better look at you. "what? my cock making you feels so good you can't even speak properly?" she asks mockingly, rolling your nipples between her fingers.

“riv.. please lemme,” your sentence is cut off by a shaky exhale. “lemme cum. please, riv.” a knock comes from the door and you hold back the cry that threatens to escape as river halts her movements and pushes herself off of you.

“what?” she yells, head snapping to the door. she glances down at you, your eyes brimming with tears, hips trying to grind down on the strap still nestled inside of you.

“you have a client,” a voice yells from the other side. river holds your hips down, your head shaking “no”

you knew how this would play out. river would be a huge fucking tease all night, hands crawling up the skirt she picked out, whispering dirty words in your ears, kisses on all the spots she knew drove you insane. you knew that if you didnt cum now, you wouldn’t until everyone left.

“please, river, don’t- fuck,” river’s thrust into you, your own moan cuts your words off.

“i’ll be right there,” she yells back. your eyes widen and river’s lips curl up into a mocking smile. “be a good girl, yeah? get dressed and join the party,” she mumbles. she pulls out of you and you whimper out at the emptiness.

“riv,” you whine her name, hoping to draw her back in. her eyes never leave yours, that stupid smile doesnt leave as she tucks the strap back into her pants.

she leans down, pressing kisses from your thighs to your jaw. “cmon, baby, dont wanna make the customer wait forever now, do we?” she pulls back slightly, her face so close to yours, you want nothing more than to kiss her. she grabs something off of her bed, and once she starts strapping it to your thigh, you know what shes about to ask you. “hold this for me, hmm?” its not really a question, though. you know she’ll tuck the lighter into the thigh garter whether or not you say yes or no.

shes off of you in seconds, heading to the door and looking back at you with that stupid smile. you groan. god was it going to be a long night.

—

river’s endless teasing and “innocent” words had you dripping. the cotton covering your cunt was stuck to your folds. you hated how much of a tease she was. every single movement she made had your head spinning with want.

even now as you sat on the couch, room filled with guards that were there solely to make sure things didnt go south, your legs draped across river’s thighs, she was still teasing you. hands trailing against the soft fat of your thighs, that pit in your stomach had yet to cool down, there was no way you could wait until the end of the night for her to fuck you.

river reaches into her pocket, taking out a small cigarette case she put joints in instead. she looks at you for what feels like the first time since you left her room. “you got a light, baby?” its a dumb question, really. she knew you had one, after all, she was the one who had tucked it into the thigh garter. you nod and river wastes no time sneaking her hand under your skirt to fish the lighter out.

she acts as if there werent eyes on her at all times. she brushes against your clothed cunt and it takes everything in you not to whimper at the feeling. she quickly grabs the lighter before removing her hand and lighting the joint hanging loosely from her lips.

you cant focus on the words she says to the client, only on the movements she makes. the way her jaw flexes as she clenches when the man makes a stupid remark, the way she stares him down like hes nothing, like he cant do anything. everything about her radiates so much power and confidence.

as soon as the guy leaves, you press yourself up against river, hand on her thigh as you lean in to whisper in her ear. “need you s’ bad, mamas. need you t’ fill me up again. please? i’ll be so good i promise.” your words are filthy, but every word was the truth. you knew exactly what buttons to push to make river fold. you knew that if you kissed her jaw, or left marks across her neck, she’d do anything you asked of her. so you did exactly that. holding her jaw with your free hand, you leave a cluster of red marks that would soon bloom to a shade of purple. river grips your thigh, a rush of hear spreading throughout both of your bodies.

“god, y’know just how to rile me up, dont you. so fuckin’ needy.” you smile against her neck.

“cant help it, mamas,” you mumble. the name makes her close her mouth to prevent the groan that threatens to escape. but you feel the vibrations against your lips. she stands, guiding you out of the room, leading you through the crowded hallways to her room.

your back is against the door in an instant, her lips against yours as she tries to undo the belt around her waist with one hand, her other eagerly groping at your tit. you whine at her neediness, it matches your own and your hands fly to the belt to try and help her. your kisses are so messy and hungry, its hard to think about much of anything else. you manage to unbuckle the belt and slide her pants off. she makes quick work of undressing you, guiding the two of you to her bed. her strap pressed against your clothed cunt and your moaning against her lips.

“fuck, river please just,” you groan, arching up into her as her lips attach to your nipple, “jus’ fuck me, mamas please. need you t’ fill me up,” you a whining mess. amber pulls your soaked panties down your legs before parting your legs to look at the mess between your thighs.

“fuck, you’re so fucking wet, y/n. were you that fucking needy for me?” you whine, trying to close your legs, but her hands keep them spread. “nuh-uh, you don’t get to hide it now. not when you begged me to fuck you in front of my guys,” she sounds so mean, you swallow thickly, worried you had genuinely upset her. but the way she wraps her lips around your throbbing clit, you know its not genuine. your moans echo off of the walls, you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your sounds, hyperaware of the crowd of people just outside of the doors.

two of her fingers sink into your cunt, her other hand pulling your hand away from your mouth. “don’t do that, let them all hear how good im fucking you. let em know you’re mine.” she laces her fingers with yours, her lips returning to wrap around your clit. her fingers curl up into your cunt and your fingers lace into her hair.

“fuck, river!” your hips are bucking up into her her warm mouth. “gon’ cum, you feel so good.” she squeezes your hand, and your gushing around her fingers. she’s quick to lap up your juices before standing to tower over you. she presses her fingers against your lips and you take them in your mouth to suck your juices off of them. shes rolling your nipples between her fingers, her strap prodding at your entrance. you buck against it, your cunt sensitive after the orgasm river had just given you.

“need you to fill me up river,” her voice is mocking your previous words. “need you so bad, god im just such a fucking slut i just cant wait for you to fill me up,” her words cause tears to prickle in your eyes. did you really sound like that? were you really that needy? her strap pushes into you, her lips wrapping around the plush of your tits to leave marks that she’d be taking so many pictures of later. the familiar stretch of your cunt has any thoughts of insecurity rushing out of your mind in an instant.

“riv,” you whine out at her slow pace.

“riv,” she mocks in a high pitched voice. “what is it baby? not enough for your needy cunt? need me to be pounding into just to be satisfied?” your eyes roll back as she bottoms out. a tear slides down your face. you cant tell if its from the pleasure or from her words. river had never been this.. mean before. you didnt mind, the pit in your stomach growing with every word.

river’s movements speed up. her strap fills you up so good, hitting spots inside of you that have you seeing stars. her mouth feels so good against your body, her hands keeping your thighs parted. “so fucking pretty,” she groans against your jaw, her breathing heavy against your skin.

“feels s’ good mamas, fuck,” your thighs shake against her hands, the coil in your stomach getting tighter and tighter with every single move river makes.

“yeah? gonna cum again? so fuckin,” she shudders when your fingers brush against her nipples, “fuck, so fucking needy. this cunt is practically sucking me in, shit,” she exhales sharply against your skin. you can tell she’s close to hitting her own high with the way her thrusts get sloppier and her breathing gets shakier

“fuck, river,” your moans are loud.

“c’mon, cum for me, go on,” your high hits just as river’s does. her strap stuffed so deep inside of you, “did s’ good,” she mumbles against your ear. “so fuckin good, shit,” shes rolling her hips against yours, trying to make both of your highs last a little longer. she lifts herself off of you, admiring the sight beneath her. “fuck,” she groans lowly.

she reaches for her phone off of the night stand, snapping a picture of you in your fucked out state. “so fuckin’ hot, baby.”

[zhvakinnn]

Hello! May I be ⚡ an)on? If that's ok? Anyways! Wondering if I could request a tyler x reader where they thought reader couldn't go to the phantom world but one day while they are there, they are running from a group of Phantoms before a flash bang goes off and reveals reader, holding a machete, and a huge light that was keeping the Phantoms away? You may edit it as you wish! Just keep the basic plot pls! -⚡anon

I was thinking about they flash the light at reader, I don't understand the basic plot but i goggle it (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

I'm choosing if i should choose the

while 'you' were running

Or

While' i' was running

Warnings: none ig?

Character: Tyler

G/N reader

Relationship

✨as always i don't know much English so if something is wrong correct me✨

Let's start on how you went to Savannah

You didn't know why you went to Savannah you didn't even have friends but your parents insist you on going there to make friends

But instead of making friends you look like a lost cat

You wonder around the place then you saw a mansion you went close to it trying to peak but ran away when you heard a rattling sound

You panted as you ran when you look back you froze for a moment you scared of the sight, while you stare at it, it suddenly came running towards you, you shriek while holding your arm up in defense

You fell down when you felt it scratch you

That's when a woman came running towards you

"hey! Are you okay?!" A brown haired woman with yellow shirt came running towards you

You look up from her then your arm, you were shock 'i swear i felt it scratch' then you look around but nothing was there it was just you and your embarrassment

Screaming without anyone harming you is kind of embarrassing

You stand up but the woman help you

"yes I'm fine sorry, i just saw snake came but i guess it disappear?" You lied because you always saw in movies they don't believe ghost or monster ti'll they see it in their naked eye she nodded believing it

"hey? Do you have anyone with? Like a friend?.. sorry to say this but ever since you walk out of the bus you look like a loner" you were offended but she's telling the truth anyway

"well yeah I was just force to be here, no friends" you said smiling softly while scratching your nape

You were shock when a hand was Infront of you "well then i will be honored to be your first friend, im Taylor Hernandez, im on the mechanic club" she smiled brightly at you

"oh, well hi Taylor im (name) , and glad to be you're friend" you smiled back as you were about to shake hands a group came running

"hey Taylor everything ok?" "Yeah just them seeing a snake" Taylor and.. tyler the baseball player that you're inlove with

"(name)" you can't help staring at him his so beautiful "(name)?" His brown eyes "(name)!"

You jump all the sudden only for Taylor apologize "oh no need to apologize, sorry i zone out, what are you saying again?"

"oh just introducing them let's start again this is Logan fields the genius of our group friend" she said pointing at the blonde boy with glasses

"and that is Aiden the uh? Hmm the insane one of our group" he yelled a 'hey' making everyone giggle

"and that is Ben the tall one of our friend, Aiden and him are cousins" Ben waved at you and you wave back

"and that is Ashlyn the quite one sorry not sorry" she shrugged it off and just said hi raising her hand

"and last this is-" "oh yeah i remember him being in the baseball club right?" She nodded and telling you their twins

"so that's why you two look alike"

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

When on that night you were in a different room all by yourself when you heard a banging you woke up the sky is red you looked out of the window seeing there's already the black monster it bang its head on the window and you search the room you were shock when you saw a machete

'weird but okay?!'

You swing it in its head and they died

You ran into the bathroom wishing this wasn't real you remember you have your phone on the bed

You cursed why didn't you didn't think to get it first

You open the door looking if there is anyone you quickly snatch your phone and went back in the bathroom you tried calling someone but there are no service

'of course there isn't, am i now in the horror movie ' you thought as you look at the time 12:00 for you it was passed by minutes now yet the clock was still 12:00

This made you cry with fear you tried calling for someone out and you just noticed you have a bleeding arm, you remember that from earlier you look for a wrapping bandaid

Once you find on you wrap it

'i knew it i was scratch!'

That's when you felt your body being pulled

You woke up gasping, you look out of the window and regretting it when a bright light came to your face you closed it immediately

They're are many thoughts on your mind but glad that it was a dream, while thinking that you felt something coming out of your throat

After all that vomiting you still felt sick

You kept vomiting then vomiting so you went home, you ask your teacher permission and he agree

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Present time

By the time you made friends with the six but you came more close to Barron

He was sweet and caring and he asked if you could help him do his assignments and you agree only regretting it

"hey Barron i thought im gonna help you but instead you kept playing baseball" you said looking frustrated and scared at the same time

"oh sorry but can you do my assignment i never had baseball before cause my mom always wanted me to study" he looks at you smiling, you only nodded and went to do his assignment and he added his friends assignments too

But day after day he started to get violent kicking you, Punching your gut, beating you up

You didn't dare to confront him you were to scared of him

.

You were at the arcade like Barron said you were meeting up there

"hey (name)! It's nice to see you again after weeks, how come i don't see you around" you saw Taylor and his twin Tyler i mean

You were about to speak up but Barron already pulled you away making tyler glare at him

"heyy (name) who's you're friends" Barron glared back

Then you notice Logan looking worried at you and mouthing 'are you okay?'

"oh i.. i i just met them on the camping, its nice seeing you again you wave goodbye as Barron lay an arm around you

"they're not okay" Logan said looking at everyone then you

Ben might not know you but he was mad whenever he saw someone encounter with Barron

But when they got there you were no where to be seen

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

They were now in the phantom realm Logan was at the top of the wall looking out

Ashlyn suddenly said "hey Logan how many phantom are there they kept getting louder"

When Logan looked with his sniper he can see a group of phantom chasing someone

"there's someone there running!" "Someone? Quick put the light on the direction it might be another person!" Ashlyn said as they all climb up because of curiosity but Ashlyn went out to grab you

When Logan put the light he can see a person when all the phantom became a slime you look at the light seeing someone you were happy that you're not alone anymore

Then you felt a hand grab you and ran towards the wall

Once you got inside the wall you Taylor and ben and Logan, Ashlyn and....tyler

'stop with your thoughts (name) its not healthy

.

"how did you get here, how long have you been here, when did you get here"

"calm down Taylor don't ask them many questions" Tyler said as he look at you then looked away

"I got here ever since the field trip then I had a dream well... Now I know it's not a dream then woke up vomiting and this been happening for a few weeks now "

They also explain that's what happened to them

"okay okay now thats done what the hell does Barron have to do to you?" Tyler said changing the topic you let out a small 'oh' before being silent

Logan sigh and look at you "Barron also force me to do his homework and violently beat me up" when you heard that from him you started to open up to them

"just letting you know if Barron came to you again I'll beat the shit out of him" you started to feel the warmth of your cheeks when you heard what tyler said

Who would've thought you would fall for him even though he doesn't know you

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

"woah you use machete" Aiden said with a big grin on his face

"well yeah i found this on the room where we slept while having the field trip, weird they have this things"

Ben tapped you then showing you a board "hey (name) question how did you survive these weeks?! I mean you didn't have any light"

"oh! Well we have a Bunker and I hid there with these torche but when im running out of food i decided to run in a market nearby but none was there only finding those creatures and your light lead me here" you explain to them

"but did you know in the human realm you can put anything, anywhere and it will be on the phantom realm like those lights, before we don't have those but them we figured out we can transfer anything in the phantom realm by being in the human realm" you only nodded but still couldn't catch up to what his saying but you get what he was saying

"okay okay how about we get some rest for now, and here eat you said you ran out earlier you must've hungry" tyler said giving you a snack

"whoa this is not like you tyler, where's a grumpy old Tyler" Tyler glared at him like there was flaming fire around him

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

You all are quiet while you ate the snack you thank Tyler for it

This tiny things can make your heart jump you were inlove with him but now being this close you were every much now falling and falling inlove

-

The next day you we're getting pinned by the wall because you forgot to do his homework and so as your homework

"seriously are you really that dumb?! It was an easy task and you couldn't do it?!"

Barron kicked you gut and you fell on the ground

"if it was an easy task why can't you do it?" You heard a familiar voice you knew that voice, you love that voice

"If it isn't prince charming what your gonna save your helpless s/o" they all laugh as Barron did too you grunt in pain holding your stomach

Tyler saw you then quickly get blocked by Barron when Tyler was about to punch him a teacher appeared out of nowhere making them run

Tyler didn't care he was worried about your situation right now he asked if your okay, you nodded and look at him if you were and emoji you could've have been the emoji with heart eyes

"from now on your sticking with us, were gonna protect you from that maniac like we protected Logan from him" you smiled at him and lead you to the group

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

It was months now you were officially their friends

You suddenly didn't regret going to the field trip thought you regret being in the phantom realm but you were also glad you have them

You've been hangout most of the time with the twin their mom loves your company aswell

-

"oh hey ty-ty" you said when he sat down next to you

"congrats its been months your now our officially friend" heh right friends...

You two sat there in a comfortable silent while in the background there was a chaos you laugh when Ben suddenly went flying on the spinning thingy

"hey.. i know we don't know each other much but.. nevermind"

"no go on im listening"

" we were classmate ever since grade 6 and we aren't close but ever since we became grade 8 i suddenly catch feelings for you... Even now" you were shock at his words he fell for you ever since grade 8 while you fell for him at first sight

When you were silent Tyler stand up "sorry I just ruined our friendship we just started and I already ruined it im-"

"no.. no Tyler im.. i accepted your confession though i already fall for you ever since grade 6" you grabbed his hand then he sat back again

"really?..." Another silent was made but then tyler held your hand " so does this mean we're you know... Together?" "Well i guess yes" you giggled at him

When his face started to get close you closed your eyes when your foreheads was at each other Aiden suddenly shout

"GET A ROOM"

"SHUT UP!!"

This story doesn't make sense but I hope you liked it🙏🏻

Masterlist | about me | rules

[scopophobia-polaris]

Do you have any manga or comics you recommend/enjoy?

This MIGHT be mostly Manga but.

I have MANY to recommend

In no order just as I remember

Some of these recs may just be me trying to cause psychic damage but most arent

BESERK by Kentaro Miura

Beautiful Darkness by Fabien Vehlmann and Marie Pommepuy

IDW SONIC, please its very cute and go read the Scrapnik Island chapters they're COOL 🗣

Also GOSTS OF THE FUTURE by Evan Stanley, it's unfinished but the art just progressing how it does? OOOOOO

Golden Kamuy by Satoru Noda

A Bride's Story by Kaoru Mori, please note this is a more historical manga so if you're uncomfy with agganged marriages and an age gap between two of the nore main chracters don't read, its not bad theres no sexualization of it, but I know people can be uncomfortable.

Inuyasha by Rumiko Takahashi

Anya's Ghost by Vara Brosgol

Beneath the Trees Where nobody sees by Patrick Horvath Warning right now this is about a SERIAL KILLER and has anthro gore

Witch hat Atelier by Kamome Shirahama HIGHLY RECOMMNED. A must read. I'm not joking.

Like....All of the Elric Comics, 2014 The Ruby Throne and the 1997 one done by P. Craig Russsell

MF Jojo's Bizzare Adventure by Hirohiko Araki i dont gotta say anything about this, go read Diamond is Unbreakable it may make you laugh

The Goddess gives a cry by Yamahiko-Nagao im linking this one cuz it's a doujin but I'm fascinated by the art, wish I could read it and find out if it's good or not.

Kingdom Come written by Mark Waid and the Artist is Alex Ross and if you know, you know

You know I get to put ONE dogshit manga on here that changed the trajectory of my life because it sucked but it's funny so Black Bird by Kanoko Sakurakoji

Dungeon Meshi

A Comic book adaptation of The Hobbit with art by David Wenzel.

Keep your hands of Eizouken by Sumito Owara

Just go read the OoT mangas 😭 I have such a big soft spot for them 😭

Buddha by Osamu Tezuka

This one makes me sad as hell, there was this one comic artist I liked on Twitter and after they drew this transmasc Madoka Magica art they got harassed offline and I dont know where they went and I dont have their name anymore...but I have some pages of a work I LOVED of theirs

Oyasumi Punpun By Inio Asano, who has MANY works in like

I am a Hero by Kengo Hanazawa

The manga of World Apartment Horror by Satoshi Kon and Otomo Katsuhiro

Momo and Manji by Sawa Sakura

Lone Wolf and Cub by Kazuo Koike and artist Goseki Kojima

Cuisine Chinoise: Tales of Food and Life by Zao Dao

The Boondocks by Aaron McGruder

+Anima by Natsumi Mukai

You know what, Jotakak snail doujin it's bullshit. I love it. It's bad. I can't get it out of my mind because it reminds me of the JOTAKAK MOTH COMIC

The Culdcept Manga by Shinya Kaneko,

Its hard to find but if you see this you're on the right track

the rose of versailles by riyoko ikeda

Do NOT read the Utena manga just go watch the anime do not thank me for this information it is VITAL TO KNOW FOR EVERYONE.

Innocent and Innocent Rouge by sakamoto shinichi, im MIXED about this one, i love the art but I'm soso on the story, I just think Anime Oscar is a better chracter than Marie. But I like this series.

Okay this is gonna sound fucking insane but Sonichu by whoever but Christine Weston Chandler, it's fun sometimes but 😬 and Rosechu's Story by Trxie D. CAT

Elfquest by Wendy and Richard Pini This one is complicated, it's very much written in it's time and is fairly outdated by most standards but it ain't CEREBUS bad, it's a pretty good read and has good art

Mob Psycho 100 by One

Go read these guys @ezlo-x @parksrway @doomed-era @ezdotjpg @frulleboi that's who I'm able to @ RIGHT NOW WHAT THE HELL.their work.go read it.

Fox&Bunny by Anatola Howard

My name is Nero by Yasuhiko Yoshikazu

Seaside Stranger: Harukaze no Étranger by Kii Kanna

Vinland saga by Yukimura Makoto

Vagabond by Inoue Takehiko and Yoshikawa Eiji

Whatever this weirdass yaoi was I found as a middleschooler

Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi PLEASE and MAUS now that it's on the mind that's by Art Spigelman

Full Metal Alchemist by Hiromu Arakawa

THE KINGDOM HEARTS MANGA IS BANGER, CHILDHOOD FAVORITE, DID ROXAS RIGHT

FOUR SWORDS MANGA ON ITS OWN ITS PRETTY GOOD

The Ocean Soul by Vimeddiee

Discommunication by Riichi Ueshiba

If it has Junji Ito on it READ IT.

WAIT GO READ LADY LIONESS BY @tsukuyomiland @lady--lioness

Aaaaaand that's all I can think of right now I'm going into a doctor cuz I may got strep throat of I think of more ill update this

[exquiviaa]

TOO SPICY!

featuring — chuuya x gn!reader

sypnosis — in an attempt to at least be an acquaintance to Chuuya again and for him to be famous again out of pity, you offer him a chance to perform with your group and yourself so that he could at least be fond of you and get publicity.

a/n: hopefully im publishing this on the same day and yes this is based off aespa's song, "spicy" LMAO and yes, I've been writing out of pure boredom and I just wanted to get this draft out the way 😙😙

Word count: 1.2k

———————————✸————————————

You and your group were currently at Tokyo Dome, preparing for your performance, "Spicy". It seemed like everything was going well, until you spotted him. The most insufferable person in the whole wide world, Chuuya Nakahara.

For context, you guys always had a rivalry against each other ever since when you guys were about fifteen, and it still went on. Every single person that was a fan of either of you knew about this scandal, only because you guys had briefly talked about it, and they did some digging.

Anyway, you were walking down to your individual dressing room, when you saw Chuuya’s name labeled on the laminated piece of paper stuck on the white door, right on top of yours in bold print. You were confused, but entered anyway, and there he was, sitting on his makeup chair, fixing his hair. “They weren’t lying..” You grumbled, setting down your bag. Chuuya whipped his head around, only to see you, and his eyes widened. “Why the hell are you here?!” He hissed, scowling.

“Was going to ask you the same thing, but turns out we have to share this dressing room. Not the best thing to happen today anyway.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. You sat down on your makeup chair, and took out the makeup supplies you needed. “Like my day could get any worse..” Chuuya grumbled, but, he had to stay respectful anyway. He fiddled with his makeup brush, adding more dark blush. “Right..” You mumbled, holding an eyeshadow brush.

Although he wasn’t super thrilled to be in the room with you, it gave him a sense of relief that he at least knew someone in the venue since he hadn’t been to a place so big with very famous artists. While he scrolled through his phone, you did your makeup, adding light green and dark eyeshadow, applying clear lipgloss. You added a bit of green blush, making sure that it fit the outfit you were planning to wear for the performance.

Chuuya looked at you, and he had to admit that it actually looked good on you. You changed into a pair of bell bottoms, a green bodysuit corset with a white collar shirt underneath, and put on green and white shoes. You added gold jewelry, your fingers and neck being adorned with gold rings and necklaces. As you added the finishing touches to your outfit, you saw Chuuya muttering, looking outside the window that was attached to the middle of the dressing room wall. It showed the full view of the stadium, everyone walking to their seats, and current artists or groups currently performing.

"Chuuya, I’ve seen how you’ve been performing on the charts. No. 69? I remember when you used to be just below me, No. 2. What happened?” You spoke quietly, hearing a lot of commotion happening outside in the hallways. “Well, it kind of went to shit after one of most popular members left for somethin’, I dunno.” He shrugged, looking fully at you. “Dang..” You felt pity, and you looked outside the window. “When are you performing?” You suddenly had an idea come to mind, smiling. “Uh, like right after this is done?..” He raised an eyebrow, trying to examine your facial expression. “I have an idea, and I’ll think you’ll like it..” You smirked. “What is it?” Chuuya inquired, wondering what could POSSIBLY be brewing up in that brain of yours. “How about after your performance, you perform with my group? I’m sure that it’ll get you some publicity.” You said, poking at the playbill. “Ugh—what?! Are you insane? There’s no way I can dress on theme on time—“

You cut him off, shaking your head. “Dumbass, there’s a full hour and a half wait after your performance so during that time, I’ll just get you ready!” Chuuya thought about it, and made up his mind. He sighed, speaking up. “Yeah—sure, whatever. But you better make sure I don’t look like a fool out there.” He poked at your arm. “I promise, I’ll make sure you look good.” You smiled. He left the dressing room, and went backstage with his group. You watched from the window, and silently cheered him on.

He performed, and there were a bunch of fans screaming for him, cheering and hollering. Most of them were holding signs like “Marry me!” And signs like that type of stuff. After he was down with the successful performance, he quickly left the stage, went through a shortcut backstage and went up to the dressing room. “You looked cool out there.” You smiled sincerely, and he was slightly blushing. “I ain’t the one you should flatter, dear.” He spoke, grinning.

“Okay, sit down!” He nodded, and sat on your makeup chair. You removed his makeup, grabbing a few dark and light green eyeshadow colors and lightly applying it. You added a hint of your lipgloss on his lips, and you prepared his outfit. A pair of leg cropped jeans, a loose white tank top and green accessories that fitted him along with a pair of full white shoes was all that needed to make him look good for the theme. Your group helped him learn the dance, and he got it in no time.

Finally, after what had seemed like an eternity, you guys were ready to perform. You, Chuuya and the rest of your group headed over backstage and the stage lights turned into a dark green, and the background changed to a velvety green. The stadium was fully black with no lights, and you guys snuck onto stage and got into your intro poses. The song, “Spicy” started to play, and the beats helped you start the dance. You sang the most lines, and you had very good vocals, and so did your group. Hi guys were in sync the whole time, and once the performance ended, the whole stadium cheered, hollered and screamed. Chuuya smiled at you, and understood why you were loved the most in the music industry. You just had that spark in you, and it was refreshing.

After the performance, you guys went up. “You did really good.” Chuuya spoke softly. “Thanks, you too.” You smiled back, sitting on top of the vanity. “You’ll thank me later when you see how you rise to the top of the charts again.” You giggled. He chuckled, smiling softly. “Will I? We’ll see.” The day ended in fun activities, and you and Chuuya rekindled with each other, exchanging numbers and talking during the night.

The next day, he woke up to a ton of messages, emails and posts spreading all over the internet about how he danced with you, and he immediately looked at the charts and sure enough, he was back at No. 2. But the worst part? There were people SHIPPING you and him.

“Shit.” He grumbled. Maybe it was a bad idea.

exquiviaa — AHHH I LOVED WRITING THISS!!! I dunno if it’s up to par but we’ll let the people who reads this decide 🫡 also if you perchance see this note, comment on here and give me some ideas on what I should write 😽😽 I PROMISE SMUT WILL BE COMING, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN 😿

[good-beanswrites]

what if es snapped? they should be allowed to be a little insane towards the audience and/or the prisoners.

(im thinking like: either obsessively checking to see if the prisoners are dead to an unhealthy extent, ignoring what the prisoners say (thinking of them like voices), and/or just randomly passing out and denying it) (OR: do whatever !! :D)

Ah yes, our perfectly healthy and normal warden! Aasfsd this was so interesting to write, there’s so much going on for them this trial… I really loved all these ideas (I’m a little insane over them mistaking the prisoners for the voices omg 👀) but I went with the good ole panic attack and passing out 😎👍

“Warden-san, are you, um! Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“R-really? You look a little pale, like –”

“I’m fine, Haruka!” They snapped at the empty room.

Es really was fine. Grief manifests differently in different people, after all. Some people cry, some people get angry, and some people have little lapses in memory like this if they don’t get enough sleep the night before. Hallucinations probably happened to everyone. Es tugged at their shirt collar, trying to get a breath of coolness after the incident. They were fine.

Muu’s absence from her cell irked them in its inconvenience, but mostly just confused them. The majority of Milgram’s occupants preferred to stick to their own privacy these days, themselves included. They left the room, thinking how ironic it was that Muu would leave her hiding spot the exact moment they wanted to ask her about the prisoners’ deaths.

They peered in the neighboring room to ask Fuuta if he knew her whereabouts, and maybe some of their original questions about the incidents. Conversations between them remained as tense as with the others, but at least he’d give them the straightest answer of the group. 

They froze, met with only dark space through the bars. Then they let out a short sigh. Yet another lapse in memory – of course he was with Amane.

Back past Muu’s cell, their quickened steps took them around the panopticon. As hard as they tried to keep their eyes fixed ahead, they couldn’t help but glance into the stillness of cell number five. Cell six was just as desolate. Their pulse raced when the next room’s occupant was missing as well. They pulled at their uniform again – they’d have to confront Jackalope about turning up the temperature in here.

The clicking of their boots grew louder as they rushed the next few paces to Amane’s cell. Es’ breath caught in their throat – it was empty.

“Amane? Fuuta? Muu?”

They tried to remember the original trip out of their room. Had they seen any of the prisoners? Their head spun. It was mere minutes ago, but they were having trouble remembering. 

Why did they come here in the first place? They had a question. A question about death. Images of swinging fists and desperate tears rose up in their mind. They saw crazed eyes and bloodied hands. Were those others’ hands, or their own? Their voice raised.

“Is anybody there? You answer your Warden when they speak to you!”

Es grabbed onto the next set of bars with a rattle. Then the next, then looping around the panopticon entrance to the first few cells. Nobody.

Lightheadedness washed over them. Everyone was gone. Were they also…?

“Answer me!”

They lost all pretenses of their authority, taking off at full speed and throwing open the creaking doors at each stop. They started calling names as loud as they could muster through a squeezing throat. 

Every single prisoner under their care had disappeared. This was their fault. Tears prickled their eyes. They didn’t mean for any of this to happen.

The echoing concrete bounced their desperate cries back at them. It hardly sounded like their own voice. What did they sound like, again? There were always too many voices…

Heat pressed in on their ears, muffling all sound around them. It crawled to their throat, making it impossible to breathe. Their hand clutched at their chest. The floor teetered under them.

Whatever had happened to the others, it was happening to them, too.

They tried to make it to the next cell – they’d lost count of whose they were approaching – but their legs gave out before they could. Their cape knotted around their arms as they tried to catch themselves from sprawling on the ground. Darkness swam at the edge of their vision. A pounding around them sounded like footsteps or their own heartbeat or something breaking. They wheezed in air.

Their lips mouthed, help, but no sound came out.

Then the world disappeared around them.

---

“What happened?” Muu poked her head around the tight gathering. Everyone had run ahead at the commotion, but her new uniform meant she always arrived last. “Are they okay?”

“They will be.”

Slipping into the group, she found Kazui carefully gathering up the heap of cape of limbs that was their Warden.

“They’re burning up,” he muttered. “I’m going to bring them to their room, they need some rest.”

“I heard them calling for Muu.” They were calling out for the others, too, but everyone’s expressions told that they didn’t need her reminder.

“A fever and an outburst like that… I think all the stress is catching up to them.” Kazui unfastened their cape, placing it aside as he hoisted Es up. Their hat tumbled back to the ground, rolling to Muu’s feet.

She stooped to grab it. She picked up the cape through her sleeves as well. “Why didn’t they just come talk to us?”

“I’m not sure. We eat at the same time every day, and that breakfast bell is difficult to miss.”

Mikoto frowned. “They’ve been pulling some all-nighters in their room. They must have lost track of the time. I’ve been there myself – it’s crazy the things you can miss when you’re like that…”

The room fell into silence, everyone guiltily watching Es' frail frame shrink into Kazui’s arms. Muu spent so much time fearing them this trial – between their fury upon hearing about the deaths, and the intimidating silence they fell into once the news sank in – she sometimes forgot just how small they really were. 

She didn���t know why she followed Kazui to Es’ quarters, or lingered so long after dropping off their cape and hat. Her uniform prevented her from helping as he laid them on the bed, but she still watched as he settled them onto the perfectly made sheets. She wondered the last time they’d actually slept there.

Kazui checked their temperature again, giving Muu the opportunity to stare a moment too long at their sleeping face – pale and clammy, devoid of all strength but little bursts, which appeared just long enough to spasm in pain, altogether exactly as Rei had looked – before she turned away with a jerk.

“They’ll be okay,” she pretended to reassure Kazui. “They will be…”