#trying to plot out a romance timeline on that is a mess for the record.

[diredeliverance]

I have come to accept that it's impossible for me to know at the beginning of imagining any dynamic I'm interested in where it will actually land in a few months when it starts to settle into its final shape. With that said it's still funny to cook for several months and drift from "this is a pure mutually affectionate True Romance, which is great because I never spend much time on those" to "this is a mess of blind devotion on one side and near contempt mixed with fascination on the other and it will be Lethal before it can ever be mutual." I'm drawn to mess like a moth to flame

[kangaracha]

tell me about your ocs tho

you asked for this

so it’s been like, a while, since i really looked at my ocs outside of zombies, and also my work with the most proper ocs for zombies isn’t published yet, so i’m just going to do the three from other fandoms that i have big fics for and if you wanna hear about my little zombies ocs you can ask about em. okay. okay.

this is also really hard cause these characters go through so much change over the course of these fics, and i’m trying not to give away spoilers xD i will try. my best.

the OG. the one and only. the working-through-your-teenage-frustrations character. i love her.

IMOGEN HAYLOCK

mcu -  read sparrow

so the thing with imogen is that i wanted to do something different to the other oc fics I’d seen so far in this fandom. which is not to say those fics were bad or anything, i love them, i just want to be different. I was interested in writing a character that was like....not the perfect fit for the avengers, or the girl that got along with everyone, and then i saw TWS and related media (lookin at you, agents of shield), and i was like, ‘okay but if you were just hydra by name and working by shield values and principles all that time, and then suddenly you had to get up and kill your coworkers....’ and imogen Began.

i find her interesting for her wit and dry humour, her sarcasm and her big attitude - but also, her frustration with life, the deep-cut anger that she’s carrying with her like a rock, her struggle with self-worth and the way she presents herself to the world, and her complete average-ness in a place where everyone is exceptional. she’s nothing special - she’s just skating by, actually, she’s a high school dropout and on probation as a shield agent, and she’s really only off the streets because hydra value her as an object that might hold some valuable information related to a twenty year old cold case that doesn’t even have any relevance anymore in the grand scheme of things.

in sparrow, she finds something to relate to in clint barton - avenger, but also human disaster zone, making things up on the fly, most overlooked superhero of the century, completely regular guy with one unusual skill. she has to learn to be open to change and to want to be a good person, instead of an angry, ignorant person who will blindy follow whatever order she’s given and pick fights with anyone that disagrees with her. she also realises a lot of things that she should have realised sooner - that what’s left of her family is toxic as hell, that she’s been blindy following the forces of evil for years, that she doesn’t have to be an angry child from a broken home anymore, and that there’s a whole, scary world out there waiting for her and she can go and find anything she wants.

the rest of the trilogy, flicker and swift, follow her finding her way in the world, figuring out who she’s going to be and what she’s going to do, which is very relatable to me rn. it’s like therapy. flicker is also a great opportunity for me to have a crack at writing a romance as a side plot, and getting to let this character grow and realise her own self-worth and that yes, she can actually love and be loved in lots of different ways, is so satisfying. swift is just the icing on the cake, swift is her coming into her power, in her own way, it’s her looking back and realising that she’s changed her life and that she could do it after all, it’s a satisfying ending, i promise. i’m going to share it with you one day.

the slaughter of the lambs is kind of the sequel to the very first ac game that i always wanted and never got - except it’s not about altair because. i’m ~special~. the fic is set 20 years after the game, in the Levant, and is split into 4 parts spanning most of marwa’s lifetime, starting in 1211 AD and ending in 1257 AD and following her through the golden era of the assassin’s and the brotherhood’s downfall. it’s canon complaint, but runs like....canon adjacent. it’s its own story.

MARWA ABADI

assassin’s creed - read the slaughter of the lambs

marwa begins this story as a novice training in masyaf, the only female assassin in all of the levant. she’s raw and half-trained, never seen combat, her strength and ability put into doubt every day - but she’s talented too, and she works twice as hard as the boys, determined to prove everyone wrong. she’s tough and scrappy because she has to be to survive in the world she’s put herself in, and just a little too self-confident, which leads her to a downfall but also an important learning curve about wit and wisdom and loyalty, and the importance of striking a balance between free will and service to a cause. 

the rest of the story follows these themes on through the times of most upheaval in her life, as she struggles with following the creed and the beliefs of the assassin order and playing her role as a soldier for this cause, and with doubt and acting in accordance with her own personal morals and beliefs, which as time goes on and the assassin’s change, she finds do not always align. she has a strong sense of right and wrong and a strong character to back this up, and she strives throughout her life to become wise like her mentors were and to guide the world as best she can towards the right kind of future, as an assassin is supposed to. 

i wrote this character to explore the idea of being a servant to a higher order, to being faceless and lost to time and serving your cause knowing that, and how you find peace with giving your life over to that. especially coming from this day and age, when everything is recorded and everyone wants to be remembered for something, i found this interesting to explore. as marwa developed as a character, the other things came; her struggle with blind loyalty and festering doubt and the careful balance that she needs to strike between them, the folly of youth and the wisdom that she gains as she grows older, and the struggle of being a woman living in a male-dominated period of history and dedicating herself to a craft usually reserved for men. 

the first thing you need to understand about this fic, and this character, is that this is the therapy fic. this is me working through my own issues, but like also add +10 drama so that it’s interesting. and a romance plot, because i need the practise.

ANGIE SOMMARS

pokemon - read to go beyond your borders

angie’s story is mostly a sword/shield fic, though i borrowed some characters and stuff from diamond/pearl. the timelines are not canon. it’s set the year after the events of sw/sh, in galar. it follows angie through the gym challenge and her own personal conflicts, of which she has a laundry list. the fic finds her freshly arrived in galar from her home region in sinnoh, having run away from her responsibilities and the pressure of them at home looking for some kind of answer to her problems, or reassurance that she’s still good at what she does.

angie’s main conflict centres around her being the champion of the sinnoh league, a talented and experienced pokemon trainer sitting painfully exposed in the public eye. she struggles hugely with the reality of this position, and all the expectations that are put up to the person that holds it - she’s expected to be the strongest trainer in the region, to keep up a positive public image as the figurehead of the pokemon league, to be on the job most days of the year and ready for whatever it might throw at her. there’s always someone pushing her to be better, to present herself the way they think she should - and she’s used to being pushed and to being shaped, but there’s only so far you can bend a person before they will break.

angie is burnt out. she’s been in the public eye since she was five years old and competing in pokemon contests, and she’s far from the perfect princess of the league. her mistakes follow her around like a black cloud, creating controversy every time she reaches a new goal and drawing more and more bad press every time she messes something up. she doesn’t know what her own goals are anymore, and she doesn’t know where to go from the platform she’s found herself stranded on - she’s clinging to a position she’s too afraid to admit she doesn’t want anymore, and she’s scared to fall, or to break, or to look out to different horizons.

angie’s story explores the double-edged sword of fame and fortune, the satisfaction of being the best but also the scrutiny people place you under, the impact of ‘cancel culture’ on an individual, depression and anxiety and the endless circles of guilt in a toxic family environment...but also the hope of finding new horizons and finding the courage to take those first steps into the future that you want. it’s a coming of age kind of story, it’s young people finding their feet and new friends and new dreams and supporting each other through hard times. and it all ends well, which, to me, is the most important thing.

[bookwormdeen]

Love 101 (Aşk 101) Theories and Connections

Hi! I am back again! This time I have theories. I was reading some theories about the TV show and guess what? I played Sherlock and investigated some of them. Follow me! 

I did a playlist to you listen while reads my crazy text.

--------------The playlist -------------  

I put there some 1990-2000′s songs + covers + songs from the show

I don’t know turkish songs, if you know share.

SOME FINDINGS AND OBSERVATIONS

1. Eda is the source of problems

Don’t judge me. Eda is a good person and character, I love her draws and attitude. I want to prove another thing here. Let’s focus in three big confusions that happened: the debate one (EP1), the broke up of their early friendship (EP3) and the laboratory fight (EP7). All of them had Eda involved in the first moment or as a catalyst that only made things worse. 

In the debate she messed with lights and threw a sticker in Kerem’s face. When Sinan panicked with Işık act, Eda said “We were not friends anyway” and she hurt Kerem’s feelings too. She burst and everyone went sideways. And she played with Burak, that later provoked that huge fight in the laboratory. 

“Troublemaker is you middle nameeeeee” - Olly Murs song. 

I think that Eda is a match to where is the fire. This can explain why she feels guilt of something. She was the center of another problem. 

Also, the older Eda feels sorry for what she became: what her parents wanted. She lost her attitude, angry and fire. Something happened to her prefer marriage and children. Remember when Sinan told her that she prefers someone making her decisions? This happened because she was running away of something, a problem that hurt her feelings. She ran away from who she was. Heavy.

2. Something surely happened to Sinan

Now don’t cry thinking he is dead. I will present some things to push that away. First: Love 101 is a comedy-romance. Meaning: they don’t go really deep into mind problems, they make it a trait (like eating disorder, depression, mania). So, Sinan did not commit suicide or died, because is too heavy to let the story proceed.

Second: Is love 101. How to love. How love create, ruin and heal. Is admiration, passion, entertainment.  If he dies the episode will be named after what: Lost, Hurt? I will not even come closer to it.

Third: Is a kid’s show (PG-13 rated). Do something big as a death will hurt the plot’s drama quality. And, suicide can’t be portrayed, so chill out kids. A thing that is possible is accidental death (Sinan, the guy that was hospitalized in the fight, Kemal or Burcu). 

Fourth: He is the narrator big love. Sinan appears a lot because Işık likes him the most and wanted to know him more deeply. Even if something really bad happens to him (STOP), we will not know now but very later in the show. She would crash with his death and she seems quite calm now, not crying or grief, just nervous to see them and not lose the house. She even sits in his bed, upstairs. So they were quite a romance. 

YES. I AM HOPEFUL. Stop saying that Sian dies because I will not take it. I will hate Netflix and the world.

Sinan is a good person reader. Is impressive actually. He hides his emotions but read it very well. He has scars. They eventually will come between him and Işık. Surely.  

If he is not dead, then what?

Something, maybe his grandfather’s death or university mixed with group fight and love problems will make him go away and never look back (that house for him is a sad place guys). Maybe he left without talking to anyone and Işık couldn’t contact him, but, for love, she stayed looking his house. Or maybe they were not a thing anymore (runs away).

Oh, and the prison choice (cringes). Seriously? He spend all his life alone and then, maybe, more 20 years alone? Unacceptable. 

People told me that his name appears in the prison scene but I really couldn’t see it. Does anyone have it? In my opinion, would be unfair make a person so lonely like this all his life. The show wants to end it with hapiness, how it would be possible after all this pain? If Sinan was in prison, no one visited him? that hurts.

The thing is, we will know what happened to him slowly because it is a result of what made the group went sideways and don’t talk for 20 years. What I mean: big huge separation situation --> Sinan leaves or dies.(no,no,no). 

So his abandoned house is a proof that something surely happened.

3. The show may have a format to keep interest

Cliffhanger = More seasons, more public. Smart move. The show is simple but want it to get attached emotionally and mentally. I learned with Sinan, yay.

The plot may go: (counting 8 episodes)

Take in count that the house is dangerous to stay in. So, they might take it to another place and see each other’s lives closer. This is excellent to the plot. I don’t think they will cry and hug in front of the door. 

We will also supose that is 5 people. 2 we already know.

1 --> More story, solve some mysteries (who is at the door); things get good at first moment (love and self acceptance); 

2 --> Things get bittersweet (love but parents and more problems). For me is by the end of the Ep 2 and on. 

3 --> (if only one more season, a forth person appears by S2E4, then a fifth by the end or S2E7). This person (for me not Sinan yet), will clarify somethings and contribute to the story with more details. Problems that start to hurt them. So, EP 5 - Ep7 will hurt.

4 --> Things get really bad; if they have a third season, we will not have the forth person, will end up just like S1E8 or, as I said, he will appear in the S2E7. 

If only a second season, EP 7 - EP8 the fifth person appears and they finish the story together, end.

Following all my theory it will go like this: Osman - Kerem or Sinan. I am not sure who will take up all the heavy stuff and end up being the last. For now they put this weight in Sinan and maybe is to play with us. 

4. What bound them, can destroy them

The thing is, they are a thigh fit as a group. Emotional and explosive. They lash at each other and have some friction along the way. Osman is more neutral. In the episode 3, where they cry and do crazy things after their fight, Osman is simply not there. He is simple, only said: You got what you wanted Sinan. Done. 

So, they can fall apart actually without big evens like death and murder. Somethings hurt deeper, like words, misunderstandings and separation. Their parents evil powers for example. I mean, in their first fight they were arguing about a test. Simple things + emotion = BOOM

5. Character development 

Here we go. Remember I said that Osman doesn’t have emotional outbursts? 

He goes on with his business and things. We see him crying with his father and being upset about his business fail but he always get over with using a plan. Unfortunately, his leadership will not keep the group bonded but he is the healing remedy, surely. I hope he open up more. Be more more emotional besides his carisma and soft friendship. He is a good boss, good son, good friend, bad student; what else more? He is such a good leader. Will he sacrifice himself for all them?

And, who is Kemal really? He is a sweetheart with an armor but what happened to him, besides being an ex-basketball player? Will his romance really last? The characters in the show are deep, they have personality. Kemal seems simple to me sometimes. His relationship with Sinan can develop and we can see more of his demons (besides his attitude) and story.

All they got better but we have a way to go. Kerem has to be less violent, Eda has to try being herself again; Işık has to be more mature because Sinan will need her a lot and if she can’t stand up her mother it can go really wrong. Sinan has to confront his parents more, get less lonely somehow. He is the only one that is slowly healing himself but nothing changed: he still lives alone, this still hurts. 

We will see they get much better, but, again, they end up not really good 20 years later. We will see a regression in so many points.

 6. They maybe can be students still

Words matter. A lot. Before the boarding Karakis (the principal) said that a friend of his would call the Minister and make that a majority board. Maybe he rushed it to grab the teens and the expulsion is not valid. Also, for me, Işık was only suspended. Why burn her uniform? (Her mother will kill her, I would too).

The scholar year in Turkey ends around June. Why expel them so close to the end? And, I think that are finishing the 2 year of High School, not the third. If not, they lose the hole Burcu-Kemal arc and their common place.

Maybe they can all move to a nearby school, even with bad records, and have another challenges. This is unlikely, even if I think that school conflicts got saturated. 

The other part of this theory is my home-made timeline. In 19th May, the would have an event that is important in Turkey (the red umbrella ones). They were close to finish the year and go to summer time (I want this really, would be fun).

7. No earthquake okay!

I saw some theories about it. Nobody will die in the 1998 and 1999 earthquakes. They were far away from Istanbul and the only one that got to the city were far away (geographically) from the school and Sinan’s house. I made a post about the locations, see here.

I received more of Burcu dying in a earthquake. In my CURIOSITIES post I said that Sinan was taking Işık home after being in Eda’s house. Eda lives in   Kadıköy in my opinion, so Burcu does too. This neighborhood is in the Asian side, while the earthquake affected the European side. Very far away. For me is kinda impossible to make this a bid thing. Why Burcu would be so far away from her house, the school that she teaches? Strange.

8. New challenges

Burak told Eda: You don’t get to play with people lives. Ouch. Is true. Not only him had his chance being the “villain”. We have...  The english teacher that likes Kemal; the professors; the parents being mad about the speech thing and even a few classmates (if they come back). 

Their parents seems to be in a contest of who is the worse, maybe not Osman’s father, that’s why I think that he is more calm and centered, despite being money drived. Society pressure (college, money, marriage) will get to them too.

9. The true always comes out

Well, well, well. When one makes a plan, in the movies and TV, they always confess it, but in Love 101, this moment is not entirely solved. Sinan told the group that now Kemal knows about the set up? Probably no. Eda finds Burcu’s behavior strange but it ends there. Oh-ohh. Ops.

 Maybe their teacher now will not stick out for them anymore. She was afraid of deciding their lives but they were deciding hers. If they come back to school and do something wrong again it will be worse. 

What if Karakis discover about Burcu’s bold move with the fire alarm? He is pissed more than never now. No laboratory; he didn’t get to humiliate the group. He will be worse than ever if they come back;.

10. Yes. 5 plates, cups and chairs. 

The camera angle wants to play but if you pause, you can see two times the same thing, inside and outside the house.

11. The guy in the farm is Osman. End.

Now, Sinan may be in prison or a successful person (the one that is eating). If you consider that the one that has his letter in the pocket is Osman again, Sinan is the only one that is hidden. He did not appear yet. Pick one and Kerem is the other.

If you have questions like me, see HERE.

Leave comments so I can investigate your theories, haha!

See my first edit here (Sinan x Isik). With HALSEY’S SONG, BE KIND.

XOXO. 

[ofravensandgenesis]

F, O, and P for Declan and Josh!

Putting it all under the cut bc it got long. xD

F: Fun1. what do they do for fun?Joshua’s a hands-on kind of guy, he likes finding something to do even if it’s downtime. He’s picked up a lot of craft-related hobbies to varying skill levels, largely driven by the whole impending-end-of-the-world fear. x’D Cooking is his passion, but he also dabbles in gardening, knapping, woodworking, some blacksmithing, sewing, and leatherworking as his top preferred areas of interest. Very DIY. He was pretty hellbent on trying to figure out how to make stuff himself once he got his act together in his teen years. That’s not to say he’s good at all that. He’s passing fair on basic stuff, is kind of going for a jack of all trades deal. If he’s too tired to mess with something like that, he reads or watches movies. Prefers cooking series for their predictability and the “safe” topic when it’s movies or TV series, fantasy/adventure or slice-of-life and other light fare when it’s reading. Will watch nature documentaries and other interesting historic series too. That’s the fun he gets up to on his own that’s legal. If we’re talking illegal, he does get a thrill from stealing stuff simply because he’s good at it, and he’s keen on stockpiling stuff. He stopped doing that once he went into the police academy—though he made sure he’d stolen enough to further his plans before then, scheming little doomsday prepper that he is. Never got caught either, so his record is technically clean. With others though? He likes to hang out with Sharky, Staci, and Hurk Jr. in particular for just drinking and doing fun dumb and questionably-safe activities. Hangs out with Jess, Joey, Dutch and a few others too, doing significantly less dangerous things, like hunting lessons from Jess.Declan is a fucking jock, okay? x’D He likes his martial arts practice, likes going on nature hikes, going to the gym, sports in general, etc. If we’re talking inclement weather or just a rest day or something, he’s probably watching chinese dramas or reading romance novels. No for reals, he does read more broadly, he just is a squishy sap and likes happy endings, typically leans towards fiction over nonfiction, but is willing to read anything recommended to him. Is less of a fan of horror, but will read some selectively, prefers more old school gothic horror if so. He’s not as much of a dabbler as Joshua is, but does a little houseplant care from time to time, and tries to take care of the garden. Emphasis on tries. He gets by. x’D Nothing’s died prematurely, but he steers clear of any real gardening commitments. He’d be better with more clear-cut instructions of figuring out what a plant needs on a set schedule. Gardening’s complicated in his opinion because it’s more by feel from his perspective. Declan’s not really an eyeballer sort. Likes to dance in his own home when no one’s looking to whatever dance music he’s got on. This happens a lot during chores.2. what is their ideal party?Joshua would prefer to keep it small with people he’s comfortable with, and probably with the more “we don’t quite care so much if it’s illegal but Sharky stop trying to get yourself a federal warrant” crowd of friends. He likes his more-law-abiding friends too, just…well. Joshua’s shady, though he tries not to be. x’DDeclan likes BIG parties of friends and family. The potluck kind where everyone brings food and there’s games and gossip at all hours until a reasonable bedtime. The kind where people are squashed together in small circles everywhere because there’s nooooot quite enough chairs or seats to go around. Small parties are nice too, but he feels most at home with more people around, preferably 3+. Dinner parties with friends invited over count in this regard too.3. who would they have the most fun with?Sharky, Hurk Jr., and Staci for Joshua, for the above reasons. xDDeclan has more fun with Joey, Staci, Whitehorse, and Nick and Kim Rye.  Declan got to talking to Earl about how to get into fishing, which led into fishing lessons, which led to just hanging out with a nice beer on occasion. He absolutely adores the Ryes’ weekend barbecues and gets along particularly well with Kim. Kim thinks him and Nick talking are like putting a pair of nerds from different fields together and watching them chatter, they’re both such dorks. xD Declan’s family ofc also applies, but that’s a given at this point.4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?…yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, for Joshua. He’s learned!Declan absolutely, he’s just a few notches shy of being a rules-lawyer. xD5. do they go out a lot?Yes and yes.——————————————————O: Optimism1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?That’s an interesting question for Joshua because he’s got a lot of conflicting beliefs and he knows it. He’s ultimately an optimist, though he has his moments of utter existential despair and feeling like everything’s going to end badly and there’s no point in trying…but he takes the time to recover from those low bouts, because he wants to believe that it’s at least worth trying to change it all for the better, because maybe it’ll work. Maybe things will turn out better, if they try. He’s resilient in his optimism, bending with the wind, compared to Declan who is more rigid in his beliefs.Declan is definitely an optimist. He can’t believe that it’s all for nothing, that the universe doesn’t care, that there isn’t a greater good. That’s part of what trips him up in his AU storyline, because he does believe virtues like justice are inherent to the universe among other things. That belief is challenged in his story a lot due to the cult’s doings, and the ultimate fallout of it.2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?Well, Joshua doesn’t throw it on people, but he does try to support people who are feeling down or such about the state of the world. Declan is similar, if more resolute in his presentation—or he was. He’s a bit more on the strong-and-silent-type in his “present” timeline. x’D3. are they good at giving advice?On what topic? If you want to know how to quickly pick a lock like you’re a level 20 rogue with a maxed out dex stat, best ways to stake out and plan a home invasion, and how to do rapid inventory turnover on the black market, Joshua’s your guy. He is also your guy in select areas of research and experience. Morally in general though? Crapshoot. He’s morally flexible and will adjust depending on the audience, but generally strives to get everyone sooooooort of in the neighborhood of being a good person. His lines in the sand are mostly regarding violence and harm. Stealing and kidnapping in the context of the impending Collapse? If you have principles and rules guiding the actions he’ll side eye strongly, but let it slide. Moreso the stealing, he’s fine with that provided it’s not Extra Assholery like stealing from impoverished people or such but well…he’ll take kidnapping while waiting for the nukes to drop if there’s no torture or brainwashing or murder involved. If only. In more normal circumstances, he’s against kidnapping. Stealing…well. He and Jess used to shoplift from Lorna’s when he hitchhiked to visit when he was younger. He’s got history in Hope County whether most folks know it or not, even though he was technically living in a different state at the time.Declan? Will do his best. He gives reasonable advice before plot happens, afterwards…he doubts himself more. Doubts everything more. Once he squares that away though, he’ll be more like his old self. Not entirely, but he’ll always try to do his best and give what good advice and support he can, or go find someone who can help, etc.4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?We’ll interpret “throw” as “is influenced by” here. xDJoshua gets some good optimism or down-to-earth-solidarity from various friends. Definitely Joey, she helps him believe in the inherent good of humanity just by being herself most noticeably, but it’s true as an influence in different ways with all his friends. People being there with him means a lot, even if he’s not been totally forthcoming about his life’s details and some major aspects of himself yet.Declan gets it from friends and family alike yes, it’s part of why he’s such a lil ball of jock-y sunshine. xD5. were they always optimistic?Joshua? Not always. He veers back and forth even now, but ultimately tries to remain optimistic as stated above.Declan? Also no. He was optimistic all his life up until Plot Happenings, namely the in-game events of both Far Cry 5 and Far Cry New Dawn.——————————————————P: Personality1. what is their best personality trait?Joshua’s determination to try to make things better even in the face of crippling self doubt, supernatural issues, and overwhelming external problems.Declan‘s inherent belief in the greater good and the attempt to uphold himself and everyone to being the best they can be.Kind of similar, aren’t they, though different in how they go about it.2. what is their worst personality trait?Joshua can be incredibly violent if threatened and stressed out to the max, and impulsive at times. He regrets it later, and tries to do better, but he does have a temper he tries to rein in. He’s a petty and vengeful little fucker when pressed, though he tries not to be.Declan’s would be ironically his strong point: thinking people can be better than they are because he can see their potential. It’s hard for him and takes a while to accept that sometimes people don’t want to be better, and other related aspects of that. He works on this, but he just has a hard time accepting not trying to make a situation or such better. Well. He used to have a hard time accepting that. Plot events have gotten him a bit more jaded somewhat. Not entirely, but somewhat.3. what of their personality do others love?Joshua’s loyalty and supportiveness. Get you a friend who doesn’t judge how many bonfires you want to start per week and actually wants to help out with finding stuff to burn, while keeping you on the right side of legal enough to not get arrested. He’ll object to melting Angels’ faces off, but that’s a moral debate.Declan’s unwavering faith in humanity and individual people. He believes in you!! You can do it!! Somehow, someway!! And if there isn’t a way, he’ll help you make one!! He is your favorite gym buddy if you need a cheerleader who will encourage and compliment you.Well, he was, but needs some time to get over his more heavily trauma-induced selective muteness to get back to cheering people on.4. what of their personality do others envy?Hm, not sure people would envy either of them, though I guess maybe Declan’s do-gooder attitude? Joshua’s momentum and ability to keep going, perhaps.5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?Joshua hates how emotionally whiplashy he can get. He’s not sure if it’s [unrevealed backstory elements] or just how he is. He’ll learn to accept it at some point...eventually. He’s surprisingly more accepting of people being emotionally whiplashy than he is of himself being thus, up until they start hurtful comments. Then he’s potentially going from 0-60 of sympathetic to aggressive. Hard to tell, it’s chaotic at times to figure out how he’ll respond, and he wishes he was more stable in general. He’s working on it though, and has made some progress. Declan...wishes he was more pro-active in thinking for himself. It’s not full on hate so much as sad, angry, hurt, because hate is very hard for him to feel let alone sustain. At most, he might feel a flicker of it for a flash of a moment, but if he believes someone or in this case himself is doing their best, he won’t fault them for not getting a perfect or desired result. Life is full of mistakes, and you do your best to learn from them.

[textualdeviance]

OK, so, Endgame spoilers ahoy–last chance to tap out. Also, I may be mis-remembering some things, so there’s that. 

First, the cringe:

-The extended fat joke. I’m so. fucking. tired. of being a punchline. Really tired of it. There are a lot of other ways that people can be affected by years of PTSD, and they’re rarely played for laughs. Why is this one supposed to be funny? There’s a tiny bit of redemption in this in that they didn’t show him magically going back to buff, but otherwise, grossss. Fortunately, I knew it was coming, so as soon as I figured out what was happening, I noped on out for a bathroom break. 

-The “hey we had a queer character, aren’t we awesome?” thing. Sorry, guys, but tokens don’t count, especially if they’re only in the movie for five minutes and happen to be played by one of your directors. At least they didn’t play that one for laughs, though. For the record, I do understand why big-screen productions can’t go there when tons of stories in other media regularly have queer characters now. When half of your potential foreign audience lives in a country where being queer is at best frowned upon, and often deadly, you can’t get away with that. A tiny scene like that, not involving a major character, can easily get cut for the foreign market. 

-As soon as they talked about getting all the stones, I knew someone was going to have to die to get that soul stone, so I was prepared for that. And in a way, the person it ended up being makes sense. She’s way underpowered for the fights to come, and an awful lot of her character arc has been played out already over the course of several movies. The interesting stuff left for her (they are still doing a solo movie, I presume) is more origin-story stuff. And thank goodness they didn’t really keep pushing that ridiculous Bruce romance along with this. The fact that they had a massive funeral scene for Tony but very little in the way of grieving for her pisses me off, though. 

-Also some of the timey-wimey stuff made no sense, but, well, that stuff rarely does. And the intro for Professor Hulk really needed more background, but when you have six dozen different plots to run, it’s understandable that we didn’t get much of that.

Now, the good stuff (and there was a lot more of that than the bad, so yay for that.)

-The unexpected “Let’s kill Thanos in the first ten minutes and then spend the next hour and a half being morose” thing. It really upends expected story structure for something like this, and that was refreshing. It reminded me a bit of the Last Jedi in that respect: Playing with plot tropes to keep the audience on their toes. 

-The final battle was just a gleeful mess. Everyone popping back in (Oh hai, just had a nice cat nap and suddenly it’s five years later. Miss us?) and the rugby game with the gauntlet was just preposterous fun. And Cap with Mjolnir!! OMG! 

-I know everyone else probably thinks it’s cheesy, but I loved the all-woman-army shot. Despite losing Nat, that was a reminder of how many other wonderful women are in this universe, and how many more stories they have to tell. And I think that reminder was especially important given…

-Nebula’s character arc! I have been dying for more from her, and I was so pleased that we got so much of it. The worst aspect of Thanos’ villainy wasn’t just his blithe disregard for life in general, but his active abuse of his “daughters.” Giving the one who got the worst of that a chance for revenge was fantastic.  

-Everything Carol. Just. Everything. From the haircut to rescuing Tony and Nebula to blowing Thanos’ ship to smithereens… holy crap. Anyone who didn’t see Captain Marvel probably didn’t realize exactly how massively powerful she is and I hope they got a good photon blast upside the head. In a way, it makes sense that they had Thor retire, because she overpowers him by so much it would’ve been ridiculous. That she could nearly take down Thanos *while he had the glove on* is amazing.

-Speaking of Thor’s retirement: Handing it off to Valkyrie was fantastic. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him, but I love love love that we now have a woman of color heading the Asgardians. Breathtaking. 

-Speaking of Asgardians, however: How *very* interesting that Loki got away with the tesseract. That’s not a throw-away moment. There has to be something else coming from that. It’s possible that part of the reason Steve decided to stay behind was to be ready to solve that problem when it came up, instead of having to bounce around in time trying to fix it, but I can also see a branched timeline with Loki traipsing around the universe with the thing. 

-All the little cameos here and there were also cool. Jarvis! Hi! 

Lastly, I know there are a LOT of Stucky shippers who are pissed off. I don’t blame them, really. But I’m actually not nearly as upset about this as I was about what the Magicians did. Queliot was in fact canon that got intentionally blown up, but in the case of Stucky, that really was just a slash ship. Not based on nothing, mind, but anyone who ever thought that was actually going to become canon is being silly. When they couldn’t even keep a gay character on Agents of Shield for more than half a season, they sure as hell weren’t going to make Cap canonically queer. SHOULD they have actual queer characters? Of fucking course. But they won’t, for the reasons I noted above. Don’t expect that stuff from any big-screen blockbuster, and you won’t be disappointed.