#trying to do The Simplest Edits
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why were you digging? what did you bury? before those hands pulled me from the earth
#good omens#ineffable husbands#hozier#my edits#text edit#f15#i'm sure this has been as done to death as from eden and take me to church but it was calling to me#crowley believing that all this time aziraphale has been turning rocks over trying to find an angel hiding under them#and has been disappointed to just keep on finding nothing but the snake over and over again#(of course it's not so plainly cruel as that and there is SO much love there but damn. brutal.)#ouhfgfbfhgf i love when characters do something so incredibly fucked up and hurtful and then have to somehow come back from it#the purest simplest most quintessential distillation of my blorbo formula#god’s perfect woobie#bastard [affectionate]
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#mmm.. 👀
#tglapppsedit#tglappps#the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society#filmedit#juliet ashton#dawsey adams#mark reynolds#my gifs#I guess she has a preference#I wasn't trying to be mean to mark lol but really tho#what is she gonna do with so many bouquets??#sometimes the simplest gestures mean a lot#edit: clearing my drafts from 2018 heheee whoops 🙃
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Writing Notes: Sex Scenes (The DON'Ts)
Here are 7 things to avoid when writing a sex scene
Disappointing the reader
You can make the reader wait but don’t disappoint the reader by not including a sex scene that’s integral to the story.
Your scene doesn’t need to be lengthy to be satisfying.
Getting lost in the character’s thoughts
While the reader needs to know a little bit of what the character’s thinking and feeling, the sex scene needs to focus heavily on the action—show what’s happening. But don’t muddy the moment with too much exposition. It will dull the scene’s excitement.
Missing the beauty
Unless you’re writing a rape scene, sex is meant to be beautiful and soulful.
It may show the vulnerability of your characters, or the way that the light hits their skin. Take a moment to find what’s beautiful in the moment and explore it.
Getting cutesy with your word choice
Euphemism are great, but the ones used for sex can get really cringe-y really quickly. For your consideration: honeypot, the heart of her femininity, bulge, appendage, staff, pink pearl… You get the idea.
Instead, the simplest words are often the best.
When in doubt, say “penis.”
This keeps the reader in the action instead of trying to figure out what you mean.
Not studying sex scenes
You're a writer. This is your craft.
And this may be your only chance in life to devour a romance novel and watch R-rated movies for work.
See how other creatives use sex to explore characterization and take notes.
Writing in public
Sex is an intimate affair.
It’s pretty difficult to write about it when you’re with others.
If you're doing it right, you'll get a little hot and bothered yourself, and the last place you want to be is in your local cafe when you’re flustered.
Edit furiously
Pro tip: Always remove the word “moist” whenever it pops up in your narrative.
A certain portion of the population gets freaked out when they encounter it.
It was even voted the most cringe-worthy word in the English language by several outlets.
Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Word List: For Sex Scenes ⚜ Part 1
#requested#on writing#writing tips#writeblr#spilled ink#dark academia#fiction#writers on tumblr#writing prompt#light academia#novel#poetry#poets on tumblr#lit#creative writing#literature#writing reference#writing advice#konstantin somov#writing resources
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Modern!Reader x Alastor Headcanons | Third Place Giveaway Winner
This is very funny to me. Alastor dating or befriending someone who's more similar to Vox to say the least than him when it comes to...technological advancements
CW: none, just some bickering between what could be seen as an old married couple
It's a little hard for almost everyone to tell, but you and Alastor are close
I say it's hard to tell because you two are constantly throwing jabs at each other and honestly, it couldn't be helped
He was just so...old
Everything about his habits and interests were outdated and Alastor wasn't the type to do his own thing quietly
There's always a comment, a sideways glance, a light scoff which leads to,
"Don't be upset because you don't know how to use a cellphone."
"Me? Upset over such a device? You confuse me with someone else, dear."
"I don't think I am. What'd you have again? Messenger birds?"
"Very funny."
You would simply chuckle at Alastor for the most part. You've heard it all before, your love and talent did lead to you VoxTech for a bit of your afterlife, but you didn't stay.
You found it more enjoy using what you know to help Charlie with her cause.
You were a helpful person in your own way. It was the only reason you kept trying to introduce Alastor to some form of modern tech.
"I can make you the simplest most basic cellphone Hell has ever seen. Only phone calls and texting--"
"You lost me."
"--Only phone calls and we'll get to the rest eventually?"
"No."
You'd groan out, "even Lucifer has a cellphone! He's older than you!"
"Was that supposed to help you convince me?"
"...You're such a loser."
You have special nicknames for Alastor when you feel like picking with him.
Old Allie
Old Man Red
Ye Old Alastor
Arthritis Strawberry
Alastor: Great Gatsby Edition
He hates all of them, of course, and that's why you love them
Alastor is completely uninterested in what you do. His focus is just more on your talent and passion than what you're making
You argue that what you're making is your passion so he should show a little interest
This would lead to a breakthrough!
"Only for phone calls."
"Right."
"Don't add anything else."
"Mhm."
"______. I mean it."
"Don't go using that scary tone with me, mister. I'm your friend, so trust me!"
It took all your willpower to not add anything extreme to the, in your opinion, useless cellphone. Phone calls only, just as promised. You knew Alastor agreed to shut you up, but you were still satisfied with your win
That's why you were very surprised when you got a call from him and you knew he wasn't in the hotel. You of course told everyone who would listen (AKA everyone in the hotel)
You yourself were always on the move and it made you happy that the chance to hear Alastor while you were both away was significantly higher (he lowkey hates the thing, so he doesn't always answer)
After a while, like a lot of elderly, Alastor would just straight up not take the phone with him.
"Al."
"Yes, my dear?"
"The point of a cellphone. You get it, yeah?"
A roll of the eyes
"Al."
"I still use the thing."
"You leave it in the hotel!"
"I forget it here and there."
"You can't tell me you're not someone's fuckin' grandfather with that lame excuse. At this rate, I'm gonna glue the phone to you."
Honestly, he kept it on him for almost two months. You expected to be having this conversation sooner.
After nagging him for a few days, Alastor made sure not to "forget" the cellphone anymore, much to his annoyance. He, of course, couldn't be seen with the thing, so it was just easier to leave it at the hotel
Two more weeks in, and Alastor would definitely be thinking of ways for this device to get in an unfortunate accident, if you will
While fiddling with the damned thing one night, Alastor finally found the one extra feature you decided to add. After a small click sounded, the small phone extended in his hands, making him let it go. The small screen was now larger; touchscreen.
Alastor's eye twitched. He could almost hear you cackling.
He was going to end you.
@theblueslytherin Here as promised! I really hope you like it!
Alastor Taglist: @alastorssimp @saints-wrapped-in-plastic @dasimp777
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin imagine#hazbin hotel x you#alastor altruist#mgwrites
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(part 3 of November Paramedic; part 2 is here.)
When Gareth mentioned a plan to locate Eddie’s paramedic in shining armor, Eddie assumed it'd be him getting into various accidents all over Indianapolis. It's something the little shit would've found funny, okay! But, Gareth's plan is much less hazardous and slightly more logical: lurk around the university until they spot him. Like a pair of drug dealers trying to tempt the goody-two-shoes protagonist into addiction and sin on an 80s Saturday morning cartoon.
It's not the simplest task since they don't know when Steve might be there. Also, other responsibilities mean they can only spare so many hours loitering. So, thirteen days post-hatching plan and nineteen days post-meeting Steve (not that Eddie's been counting or anything), with nothing to show for their ethically questionable behavior, Eddie is ready to give up. Especially since both of them have a rare simultaneous day off. Usually, those are spent jamming, smoking, playing D&D… literally anything other than this.
"This is fucking stupid," he says, cigarette clenched between his teeth. "We're not gonna run into him."
"Sure we are," Gareth says. He drops his butt among the dozens they've chain-smoked and lights another without meeting Eddie's gaze. "We're getting closer. I can feel it."
"The only thing you're feeling is delusional. It's time to give up."
"Eddie, c'mon-"
"Nope." One last drag and Eddie stomps out his cig. "Fuck this; I'm out."
He stalks toward his van at the far end of the parking lot. Gareth curses before running after him.
"Dude!" he exclaims, jogging to keep up with Eddie's longer strides. "You can't just give up! What about what you said-"
"I was being stupid. What was I even imagining? We orchestrate another meeting and, what, I use my freakish wiles and seduce him? And then we'll live happily ever after…" Eddie shakes his head. "It doesn't work like that. He'd probably turn out to be a douche anyhow."
"No, listen!" Gareth seizes Eddie's arm and yanks him to a stop in the middle of the lot. "You always do this. Self-sabotage and cut things short, even when there's potential."
Eddie scoffs. "You know what else always happens? I end up liking them more than they like me. It's not fun."
"You don't know it'll be like that this time. You have to try."
"No."
Eddie takes a step back. He's done; he's out. Gareth reaches for his wrist to pull him back in. He jerks away, almost losing his footing and stumbling into the burgundy car behind him. Gareth's arms shoot out to help, but Eddie steadies himself before crashing. For a second, silence reigns as they assure everyone's on solid ground. Then Eddie opens his mouth to once and for all-
"Eddie? Gareth?"
Their heads snap to the side, eyes landing on… Max? Looking unusually dressy in high-waisted shorts and a fitted top under an oversized jacket, and her hair in a high ponytail. She's got her skateboard under her arm, a messenger bag with a textbook sticking out, and a confused furrow between her eyebrows.
"What are you doing here?" she asks.
Fuck. They can't tell her the truth – she'll never let him live it down. Fortunately, Gareth realizes this too, because he says:
"Uh, I go to school here? What are you doing here? The math building is way over there."
She rolls her eyes and leans on the burgundy car. It's a shiny BMW M5 – the limited anniversary edition. Jesus fucking Christ, Eddie almost dented that thing! It's worth more than his life. And Max is slouching against it like it's nothing. He could warn her not to scratch it, but she's unlikely to care; she's always been metal that way.
"Waiting for my friends," she says. "We have dinner on Tuesdays."
Eddie's ears ignite. Dinner? With friends? While wearing what's basically a date outfit?
"Ooohhh…" he says, sharing a grin with Gareth. "And do these friends include someone special?"
She shrugs, looking anywhere but at him. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"C'mon, Red! You're killing me! I need to know if he's good enough for you."
His fingers hover over her ponytail, as if to tug at it. She slaps his hand away.
"You're annoying."
He laughs. This terrible day just became infinitely better. He won't rest until he gets what he wants – or until she punches him, which'll probably come first. He's about to tell her so when a voice calls her name. Both turn to look, and…
It's a boy Max's age. He's beaming and waving, quickening his steps toward her. She smiles too, almost shyly, as she waves back. It's the perfect opportunity for teasing, if Eddie's day hadn't just become infinitely better.
His tongue is heavy, his skin is itching, his heart is bruising his ribs from the inside. Sweat is gathering in his pits and it's getting a little hard to breathe. Because walking half a pace behind the boy, carrying a huge duffel with such ease it might actually be stuffed with feathers, is… is…
"Yesssss!" Gareth hisses next to him. He may also be fist-pumping. Eddie isn't looking.
"Hey!" The boy stops in front of Max. "Sorry, practice ran late."
"It's okay," she says, cooler than ice, though her eyes are glittering. "I just got here."
She says something else, or maybe the boy does? It's all background noise, because Steve has caught up. Steve, in jeans and a polo that must've been tailored to his exact measurements because oooooooooohhhh boy. Steve, unshouldering the bag, muscles shifting and straining under his shirt with the movement. Steve, smiling, his golden eyes flying over Eddie.
"Hey! Eddie and Gareth, right?"
Eddie draws a sharp breath. He remembers!
"Y-Yeah!" he squeaks, hands fluttering to either wave or shake hands, ultimately doing neither. "Hi! You're here!"
"I am," Steve says, casual, as if inane conversations with former patients happen on the regular.
(It better not – Eddie doesn't do well in competitive settings.)
Max, keen eyes darting between them, asks, "You know each other?"
"Met at work," Steve says. "Or, I was working and he…"
"Ah." Max taps her temple. "That."
"How do you know them?" the boy asks her.
She points at Eddie. "Neighbor. And that's the guy who dumpster dives outside our apartment building."
Gareth flips her off. Eddie would laugh, but he's busy pretending he doesn't know what Steve looks like shirtless. It's hard (pun slowly growing more relevant) – his gaze keeps dropping to the polo's undone top button. Steve is just as gorgeous out of uniform, and now Eddie's thighs are tingling with want. He could stare at him forever…
Unfortunately, 'forever' is cut short by a woman arriving in a flurry. Wait, no. 'Flurry' implies some sort of graceful whimsy, while this person… she's a hurricane crashing into a house.
"Sorry I'm late! Nielsen wouldn't stop talking and got angry when people started leaving because it's an important lecture so this girl called him out for not keeping time because he goes on all these tangents and he said they're interesting tidbits and she said it's disrespecting our time and-" She pauses for breath. "You don't care, do you?"
Max, Steve, and the boy shake their heads.
"Right. Sorry." The woman turns to Eddie and Gareth. "Hi! I'm Robin. And you are?"
"My neighbor and his friend. Steve treated his concussion," Max rattles off, glaring at them. "You didn't answer my question: why are you here?"
Gareth frowns. "I told you," he says, pointing at the building. "School." He points at himself. "Student."
Max glares harder. "You don't have class on Tuesdays. And Eddie doesn't go here at all."
"I had stuff I needed to drop off."
"Is tagging along a crime? Jesus."
Max doesn't reply, though her glare remains.
Robin hums. "Okay, so this is super-enjoyable, I love just standing around, but I'm starving, so…" She looks at Steve, who nods.
"Yeah, we're going," he says, but neither moves. He glances at Eddie, which makes her glance at Eddie, and then they make a series of eyebrow-movements at each other, ending in a shared smile. Steve asks, "Have you guys eaten yet?"
Eddie shakes his head, pulse racing. Is this going where he thinks it is?
"D'you wanna come with? There's this diner we like…"
Holyshityesitis!
"Yeah!" Fuck, too eager. "I mean, uh, sure, sounds good."
"Cool." Grinning, Steve clicks a remote car key; the burgundy BMW beeps. What the fuck? How high is a paramedic's salary?! "Did you drive here?"
"I, uh…" Eddie falters. Shit, wasn't he supposed to? It's been three weeks and he feels fine – he thought he was in the green!
"Nope! I did!" Gareth says, 'proving' it by hauling his house keys from his pocket and jingling them.
Steve nods. "Should be safe for you to drive again, but the less strain you put on your brain, the better. Even a mild concussion isn't anything to sneeze at."
"Y-Yeah, I've been taking it easy. Basically done nothing. Until now."
Max snorts. Eddie is going to pour coffee through her mail slot.
They decide Eddie and Gareth will follow Steve's car to the diner, since Steve can't fit all of them (the real reason he asked if they drove here, duh). It's good because Eddie gets the chance to panic/gush/collect himself in the privacy of his van. It's bad because Gareth drives, lest their fib be revealed. Gareth spends the ten-minute journey gloating about driving Eddie's beloved girl, interspersed with 'I told you so!'s.
The diner is cozy, all wooden furniture and sepia photographs on the walls. A graying waitress who smells like tobacco directs them to a booth and takes their orders. An awkward silence then falls as they wait for someone to speak.
The boy clears his throat. "My name is Lucas, by the way. I don't think I said." After shaking his hand and introducing themselves, Lucas says to Eddie, "I think Max has mentioned you."
"Oh yeah? I've been dying for her to mention y- Ow!"
Eddie rubs where Max kicked his shin. Her glare is murderous. Lucas is blushing happily, though.
"So, what d'you guys do?" Robin asks.
Right. Time to small-talk like adults. Eddie gets his job as a mechanic out of the way, then gives the word to Gareth, who tells them he's a creative writing major. Robin turns out to be getting a masters in linguistics and Lucas studies biology.
"I don't actually know what I want to do, but biology feels broad enough to give me options, y'know? I can go to med school, or forensics, or, I don't know, paleontology?" he says. Max glows brighter with every word that comes out of his mouth. Cute.
This then segues into talking about their friends, who by the sound of it lead incredibly interesting lives.
"Dustin's at MIT, Mike's at Oxford, Will's in San Francisco…" Lucas says, counting on his fingers.
Max interjects, "El's in Africa building houses and teaching kids English."
"Erica is still at home, finishing high school and drowning in early acceptance letters to, like, every Ivy League there is," Steve says with a look of pure pride.
"Nancy and Jonathan – they're our age – are chasing scoops in Afghanistan… " Robin says.
"... and Argyle is also in California," Lucas finishes.
Eddie whistles. "And here we are, still in Indianapolis."
"Dude, I'm surprised I got this far," Steve says. "Wouldn't've managed without her."
He jerks a thumb in Robin's direction, who preens at the acknowledgment. Robin's cool, Eddie decides. Garrulous but fun and nice… and verrrrrrrrry close to Steve. The kind of close where they're always in each other's space. Where they wordlessly transfer food between their plates. Where Steve unceremoniously wipes a speck of ketchup off Robin's chin after she repeatedly fails to get it. They're comfortable, but not necessarily romantically affectionate. Like they're siblings rather than lovers.
(Dear God, if you are in heaven, let them be siblings.)
Conversation flows. They joke around, tell stories, swap opinions. Robin gets passionate about tonal shifts when stage shows are adapted to film, and Eddie tries not to stare at Steve's mouth as he eats. And then, once their plates are cleaned and they're waiting for dessert, Gareth leans his elbows on the table and fixes Steve with a purposeful look.
"I figured out where I've seen you before."
Eddie stiffens.
Steve blinks. "At campus, right?"
"Thought so, but no. I realized it's actually…" Gareth chuckles. "It's ridiculous, but uh, my mom had this calendar…"
Steve recoils, red flooding his face. Robin, Lucas, and Max shriek in delight, Robin grabbing Steve's arm and shaking it as he hides behind his hands.
"And my mom," Gareth says between bursts of laughter, "she's shameless, all right? She kept it in our kitchen. So during, what was it, November?"
"November," Steve confirms, muffled.
"For 30 days, if I wanted to check the date or make a notation… I saw you."
Tears stream down Robin's face, she's laughing so hard. She and Max have started chanting 'Slut! Slut! Slut!' at the still crimson Steve.
"You don't understand," Lucas says, gesturing for emphasis. "We've been waiting for someone to come up and say 'hey, weren't you…?' for years. Thank you so much!"
"Hey, thank my mom," Gareth says. Eddie's quite stunned he'd throw his own mother under the bus like that. She's a really nice person, too!
"Makes sense," Max says. "Moms love Steve."
"All parents do," Lucas says.
Cackling, Robin pinches Steve's cheek. "Gotta hide your mom and your dad around Steve!"
Steve bats her off, flushed but smiling. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. You got your wish, now shut it."
That only makes the three restart the chant to ridicule him for his harlotry. Steve's indignant squawk that 'it was for charity!' merely has everyone laugh more.
And Eddie? Well. As he sits beholding this man who works as a paramedic and drives a luxury car, who models for charity and allows his friends to mock him for it, who blushes and giggles when they lovingly call him a whore…
All Eddie can think is that he's in fucking trouble.
Afterward, it only makes sense for Eddie to drive Max home. Steve shakes his hand outside the diner, saying it was nice to see him again. Eddie, not knowing how to ask for Steve's contact info without seeming weird, agrees. He waits until the BMW drives off, then tells Gareth to get the fuck out of his seat. Gareth relocates to the backseat, whining since Max already called shotgun.
The initial minutes, they're quiet. Then Max turns to Gareth and says:
"When were you telling me Eddie is your mom?"
"Huh?"
"You said you knew about the calendar because of your mom. But that's not true."
The warmth drains from Eddie's face; his knuckles crack around the steering wheel. Gareth's expression is the epitome of 'oh shit' when he meets Eddie's gaze in the rear-view mirror.
"Yes, it is," Gareth says.
"It's not," Max says.
"It is!"
"It's not! The calendar was for 2021, and in November '21 you were a freshman and had already moved into the dorms! If your mom kept it in her kitchen, you wouldn't have seen it!"
She scowls at Gareth, mouth pinched and eyes flashing, daring him to contradict her.
Gareth swallows thickly. "It… wasn't for 2021."
"Yes, it was."
"How do you know?"
She puts her hands in her lap and lifts her chin, almost primly. Eddie gasps as the penny drops.
Gareth screams, "WHAT!"
"You have it?" Eddie cries. "Why do you have it?"
She scoffs. "You know why – you've seen his pecs."
"I don't- Okay, how're you so sure it's me?"
"Because you spent all of dinner looking like you wanted to crawl inside his mouth and live there." Her nose wrinkles. "At least I hope it was his mouth you want to crawl into-"
She's cut off by Gareth shouting "I can't hear you! Lalalalalalala-"
Eddie crumples in his seat. He's depleted of blood, air, life, everything. Behind, Gareth is grilling Max for information: are Steve and Robin together? Is Steve single? Is he queer?
Max replies: no, yes, and 'that's not for me to tell, moron'.
Gareth nods, satisfied. "That means he is. If he was straight, you'd say so." He slaps Eddie's arm. "You got a shot, man!"
"You… don't know that…" Eddie wheezes.
Max tuts, shaking her head. "You actually want to hit on my chauffeur."
"He prefers the term 'seduce'," Gareth says.
Eddie smacks his face into the steering wheel at the next red light.
------------------------------
Tag list: @rougenancy, @raisedbylibrarians, @yourebuckingkiddingme, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @emma77645, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @eddielives1986, @stevesbipanic, @the-redthread, @fandemonium-takes-its-toll, @henderdads, @gay-little-bitch, @lordofthepointygerbils, @lenore1232, @imzadidragonfly, @zerokrox-blog, @eddiemunsonswife, @cherrycolas-things, @ediewentmissing, @princess-eddie, @atombombbibunny, @ajamlessbaby, @dogswithforks, @grimmfitzz, @cutiecusp, @cuips-not-cute, @manicallydepressedrobot, @messrs-weasley, @madaboutmunson, @mightbeasleep, @suikatto, @brassreign, @snapshotmaestro, @bea-sayan, @courtjestermunson, @csinnamon-fox, @steveisabicon, @spectrum-spectre, @spinmewriteround, @just-super-fucking-gay, @escapingthereality, @oneweirdcryptid, @deehellcat, @misticageri, @lovelyscot, @olivethenerd16, @linkydinky06, @rynnytintin, @anything-thats-rock-and-roll,
I won't be adding more to the tag list because there are already so many of you. Instead, I'll be tagging the four remaining parts (it'll definitely be seven in total, btw) as #steddie fic: november paramedic. Hopefully, they'll show up in the tags and you'll see them that way.
Thank you for reading 🖤
Part 4
#the entire conversation in the van - and the purpose of max's role - came to me late at night#and i was so excited i could barely sleep afterward#everything fell into place after that#steddie fic: november paramedic#steddie#steddie fanfic#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#eddie munson#steve harrington#gareth stranger things#max mayfield#my writing#ok so about the car:#(first off i want to admit i know nothing about cars)#in the show steve drives a bmw 733i. the car is gorgeous imo. however while luxurious at the time it's not expensive today.#so i looked up modern luxury cars and found the 30 jahre m5 - the limited edition from when bmw m5 celebrated 30yrs in 2014#only 300 got made and only 30 were sold in the us. they were as you might imagine expensive.#so the story here is that steve got one for his 16th birthday (would've been in 2015 in this fic)#probably from a doting grandparent since i doubt his parents would've given something so expensive to a teen#fun fact: every 30 jahre m5 is colored 'frozen dark silver' (gray. they're fucking gray.)#but since it's NOT steve's car if it's not burgundy and since i've already erased covid's existence... i don't think this change matters
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Statement of : Gordon Martinez Freeman, 30 year old MIT graduate,Regarding a peculiar video game he’d found.
Recorded direct from subject, May 16, 200-
Statement begins.
Pt 1 > here
ABOUT 👇
Hello! I am the author of this AU, you can find my main at @inkzectz , for more meta questions about this AU, or for general comments about it, please go there.
What is the AU about?
LA : AI is a crossover AU of sorts, in the simplest way put, it’s TMA but with HLVRAI characters, TMA stuff happens but altered to fit the general HLVRAI narrative, and with my own changes, headcanons, etc. added
I will be updating/editing this post as I progress.
Will it have spoilers?
Disclaimer!!
The AU will have a lot of the original themes of hlvrai and more so TMA, more so, horror themes, this will include gore, body horror, worms, decomposition, cult themes, psychological horror, arachnophobia,flashing imagery, etc.
(Will update as I go on)
I also feel it is important to mention this is the first time I have ever made a ask blog/ web comic/ published a story online, I will make mistakes, please bare with me as I am trying to figure things out.
English is not my first language, I do my best to grammar check and write well, but at the end of the day I will also be making mistakes.
Please be patient with me.
This au is a passion project of mine that I am doing on my free time because I want to, it is important to remember as a reader, I do not owe you anything.
It is best if you’ve seen it but as of writing it right now (early ep 4) there aren’t any spoilers. Once I am a little further ahead then you may want to listen to it.
Yes, not a lot, but vague/mild spoilers about how the world works, plot points, and character.
Again the spoilers will be vague and mild at worst, as it progresses I would recommend listening to tma, but it’s sort of like how while half life knowledge is helpful in hlvrai it isn’t exactly necessary to enjoy hlvrai bc it’s different enough from it to not really matter (?) I hope that makes sense.
Asks rules
- No telling [ player ] exactly what happens ex : “omg [ player ] when you weren’t looking [ npc ] said this very important thing that is supposed to be kept secret for lore reasons”
- Please avoid asks like “tell this character they’re pretty” while I appreciate the compliment, I am trying to write a story and want to keep things as on topic as possible. Instead tell me on my main if you like the art, I’ll probably reply with a doodle or something, just not on here.
- Less so of a rule but more so of a general statement, I will be avoiding asks that either are too close to what happens or if answering would mean progressing the story too quickly, there’s a lot I want to happen and I want time to do it all.
- Another one that’s less of a rule and more of a general thing, if I don’t like what you said I won’t be answering.
- I also sometimes just don’t know how to answer some things.
- Please be respectful of the ships I choose to include and don't force your own, ship wars and such will not be tolerated.
- Please be respectful of others and do not spoil anything, not everyone has listened to TMA and knows it's themes.
I will not be answering everything, I cannot always get to every message so please be respectful of that.
Select character
Character abouts! [ Will be updating as I continue to work on the story ]
[ select ] > Mr. Freeman
> Gordon Martinez ‘Martini’ Freeman
30 y.o . 6’0 . 230lb . Romani / Puertorican . male [ he/him ] . bisexual
[ PLAYER ]
> Lives in Seattle, MIT graduate, left Black Mesa, works as a librarian IRL but also makes money via streaming video games occasionally, in real time it is 2018.
> Believes in the paranormal out of fear but tries to rationalize out of denial, he will never admit something is supernatural and will jump through hoops to rationalize even if deep down he does believe.
> Has a son named Joshua Medrano Freeman, who is 6 years old, Gordon and his old partner met in college but split up before Joshua was born, they remain civil but are nothing more to each other than Joshua’s other parent.
> Gordon rents an apartment with 3 rooms, his own room, Joshua’s room, and a third that used to be a guest room but he has so little visitors he’s just chosen to revamp it into a gaming room.
> Gordon works primarily in a library for now as he’s looking for a better job.
> Gordon often wears hoodies, sweaters, t-shirts, crew necks, and any general outfit one would wear at home, long curly hair that is beginning to grey due to stress, unkempt goatee, and almost always wears green tinted glasses [ he doesn’t need glasses he just thinks they’re cool ]
> His hair is usually pulled back in a ponytail but can also be found in a bun or just down.
< [ select ] > Mr. Coolatta
> Thomas ‘Tommy’ Coolatta, primary researcher, and technical head of the institute.
39 y.o . 6’7 . 190lb . Chinese/filipino . Male [ he/him ] . ???
[ NPC ]
> His father owns the Lambda institute and he grew up in it, he officially started working in the archives when he was 24, and of all the employees in the entire institute he has worked there the longest.
> No one knows who his father really is, Tommy being the only one who’s ever actually seen / spoken to him, his father is the real head of the institute but gives most his orders through Tommy, so Tommy is also technically the head as well.
> Not much is actually known about him, besides his father he doesn’t appear to have any other family, nor does he ever speak of his personal life much.
> Tommy primarily works as an archival assistant, specifically in research, he is the one who will verify details regarding statements or do further investigations into aspects of the statements.
> Tommy is quite the colorful character, often wearing colorful clothing and accessories, he seems to think doing so brings some cheer into an otherwise boring environment, he often wears patterned polo shirts, cheap company bracelets, pins, lanyards, pant chains, but is never without his signature multicolor propeller hat.
#Lambda archives : AI#LA:AI ep 1#hlvrai#hlvrai au#la:ai#tma au#half life vr but the ai is self aware
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hi could you please write smth about accidentally revealing your relationship with quackity? preferably with cc!reader <3
of course!! thanks for the request 🫶 ; ik I did a preference about accidentally revealing relationships but doing a little different thing and going in depth w it was fun!
QUACKITY ; softlaunch ❌ hardlaunch ✅
summary ; you and Alex accidentally reveal your relationship
warnings ; language, little bit of buzzed ranting, use of pet names (babe)
genre ; fluff
word count ; 1k
masterlist
You and Alex have been together for about ten-ish months, keeping it on the low since you'd been traveling around for QSMP meetups, events, and the Streamer Awards for a little bit.
You'd finally gotten home, your shared apartment with Alex, with Cellbit and Roeir tagging along. The three were planning to make a 'trying mexican candies' video in the morning while you were planning to edit and maybe stream til you felt tired enough to quit and sleep. The three guys sit out in the living room, watching some TV show as they sprawl out on the couch, buzzed from the aftermath of award winning.
You were more than proud for your boyfriend, but it being so late now, and your need for comfort after being overstimulated for hours on end, called for a little alone time. You sit in your office, the clock reading 1:30am as you hit the Go Live button on your stream.
You decided to chill out behind the closed door, just chatting with whatever viewers were still awake at this hour, or were just beginning their day, depending on timezones. After five minutes, you greet your chat, snacking on some cookies you'd picked up from the store before returning home earlier, a glass of milk sitting on your desk next to the plastic box.
You sit in your very comfortable chair with a QuackityHQ hoodie, with the signature duck in the corner and design on the back, and some long, patterned pj pants, colored dark blue and black with a floral design. They were thin enough to wear in the warm heat, which was perfect for you. You looked tired but didn't really feel that way, like your eyes were sewn open from adrenaline and happiness.
"Good morning, everyone" You chuckle, "Alex just won an award, feeling good! He, Cellbit and Roier got some drinks and have been watching TV on the couch, so sorry if you can hear them. I closed the door just in case but don't mind any shouting or music"
Your chat explodes with messages, congratulating you, even though you lost in your category, and spamming hearts and heart hands emojis. Someone sends in a small donation, asking for clarification why they were at your house.
"Oh, Alex didn't wanna drive all the way back to his place and he had his car parked here from earlier. He drove the other two and we all left together. They're staying the night" You nod, clarifying with a little bit of lying, not wanting to slip up.
You'd known for a while that Alex was just a secretive person over the smallest things, and he didn't know why. You were totally fine being open about your relationship with friends, but made sure to respect boundaries for him. He reassured you in his own panic that he wasn't embarrassed to be with you and didn't want to hide his love for you often.
He explained it in simplest terms as he was weirdly secretive and he didn't want his weirdo stans attacking you or only watching you for him, he didn't want to ruin your fanbase that you built from the ground up. You'd been friends since forever, a good percentage (if not all, then most) of your fans also watched Quackity's content, which kind of made sense to you, but you didn't question it.
"But yeah, it was fun, just like... there were so many people, and so much was happening all at once and shit. I'm just trying to calm down and get tired." You lightly smile, taking a bite of one of your cookies. "I'm so proud of everyone who won and everyone who was nominated, good night for everyone"
You sit and talk to your chat for a while, occasionally listening to the trio's laughter outside your office. Before you can even snap your head around to inform whoever entered that you were live, they were already speaking, slightly laughing, and stumbling.
"Babe, oh my God, I'm so sorry! I accidentally dropped one of your plates in the kitchen and it fucking shattered everywhere, I'm so sorry. I cleaned it up, I just wanted to tell you than wait for you to notice and make you mad, I'm sorry, Y/n/n"
Your jaw hangs slightly agape, and you stare with a silent expression. You slowly turn back to your stream, the chat absolutely exploding with messages. You saw probably a hundred first time chatters even making an expression about it.
"Lex, I'm live" You speak between your teeth, muting your mic. "Ah- uh, it's, it's fine"
He quickly regains his composure, staring over at you, then looking over to your PC, showing that you were a thousand percent live and five thousand people heard him say that. By the morning, it'd be all over Twitter and YouTube Shorts and TikTok, people were already clipping it.
"Shit"
"Alex, holy shit"
The two of you sit in silence for a minute, trying to rationalize what to do. Cell and Roier bust into the office as well, seeing both of you silent before asking, where you both talk over each other very loudly to try and explain.
They both look over to your monitors, confirming you were live. They both laugh in a light hearted way, looking to Quackity.
"You're cooked, dude"
"Rest in peace"
"You say that like I'm embarrassed to be with them, I mean, it's not like that... I think. Y/n, are you embarrassed to be with me? I'm not embarrassed to be with you, I wanna post pictures of us on adventures and experiencing shit so people can see us for us and what we are-"
"My brother in Christ" You sigh with a chuckle, rubbing your temples. "It's said and done, it's fine. And no, I'm not embarrassed to be with you" You turn back to your stream, unmuting yourself under the red LED lights and lamp on your desk.
You sigh and shrug before speaking, throwing your hands up halfway in defense.
"Y/s/n real"
#lowkeyrobin#mcyt x reader#mcyt preferences#mcyt oneshot#quackity x reader#quackity oneshot#quackityhq x reader#alex quackity x reader#gn reader#gender neutral reader#they/them reader#qsmp x reader
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How the fudge are you writting so fast??? I sit down to write and end up with nothing or reworking plot instead of writing 😭Have any tips you want to share? Perhaps the ingredients to the dark ritual you perform to get the motivation and remain focused 👀👀👀
So, first of all, you'll need half a newborn, shaken, not stirred…
lol jk (don't shake babies)
Believe it or not I'm the same as you, so here are some stuff that helped me tremendously, especially with my squirrel ADHD brain:
NUMBER ONE that I needed 20 years to learn, is that… forget editing, man. You can't edit if there is nothing to edit, so first you have to sit ya ass down and just fuckin' do it. It doesn't matter if it's shit at first. It's called work in progress for a reason. Who cares if it's shit? You can edit it LATER when the whole thing is already done. What you're reading in my game is literally my first draft. Lots of scenes might change later. In fact, I'm already changing scenes in the background, I'm just not always telling you. It doesn't matter. If anyone gives you shit for it, tell them to kindly fuck right off.
Have a plan for the book (written down. Not just in your head). Don't even start writing until you have a plan for the entire book. It doesn't have to be detailed. Mine is just bulletpoints, but you should know which chapter will contain what, including plot points, character development, relationship progress etc, otherwise you'll get lost, especially in a big IF. And then as you get closer to the next chapter, you can work out more details in the plan to help the actual writing.
If you don't feel like writing a scene, then don't write it. Leave a placeholder word there (I use 'mandarin' because that word likely won't come up anywhere else in the text), and instantly move on to another scene that you have inspiration for. Later, you can just search for 'mandarin' and add the scene when you feel like it. If you accidentally come across any MANDARINs in my game, that's the reason lol.
If you are writing an IF, it helps to start simple. Write the story until a choice comes up, then write the title of the choices, and continue ONLY with the route you feel the most inspired for atm (use mandarin for the rest). Don't let your momentum die by getting bogged down in choices. That's why I have so many greyed out choices when I start a new origin or chapter. I just write write write until the end of the chapter, THEN I go back to whatever choice is the simplest to add, and put the variations in the already-existing text if needed. Repeat until all the choices are written and coded in. This way, the text might feel more organic too, because you already have a pre-written skeleton that you can just add variations in.
Keep notes. It helps to have them on paper, next to you, so f.ex. when you make 9 different deities to choose from, you don't have to go back to the beginning of the chapter every single time to look up which deities those were and what they mean, you can simply turn your head to the side lol.
Take regular breaks. Exercise, stretch. Keep a daily schedule. Eat and drink enough. Try to keep a good health. Your brain won't work if it's starved.
Know yourself and your habits, and be honest with yourself. I know of myself that once I start working on the big plot points, I won't have any motivation to come back to the beginning again. That's why I'm writing all the origin stories first, because I know that if I start going into chapter 2, I definitely won't feel like coming back to start yet another route from the very beginning. So if you don't feel like doing something, then just… don't do it. Or do it simpler. Do it smarter. Trick that asshole brain into cooperating.
Last but not least, guys, 90% of my motivation COMES FROM YOU! Your engagement, your messages, your feedback, every little interaction is what keeps me going! So write me! I will answer! (if you aren't a dick). Literally, about anything. Even if it's just "hey I really liked this small detail here", that will already make my day, seriously. I LOVE talking about my work, and I'm pretty sure every author is like that, so keep engaging with writers, because that's 90% of the reason when a novel gets finished! I'm writing for YOU! Your enjoyment, your fun, because I love telling stories, but those stories don't mean anything if no one is reading them.
#interactive fiction#weeping gods#writing advice#how to not be a sack of potato aka me#i honestly surprise myself every single time when i write more than 3k words a week#i have to keep my brain constantly entertained otherwise no productivity will happen
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L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 12
PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader
WARNINGS: mention of food and eating, swearing
GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff
P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)
SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?
TAGLIST: closed
W♡RD C♡UNT: 6,009
A/N: we only have a few more chapters of the ones that I pre wrote to last when I think this hiatus will last so I spread the releases of these chapters a bit so they can last a bit. sorry for the wait.
PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT
©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
You mindlessly scroll through Twitter while you wait for Changbin to join you for breakfast. Your notebook lays open next, ready to add any last-minute questions you might come up with that you should ask him or if you see any questions that fans want answers to that are reasonable.
It's early—almost too early—in the morning for your brain to be working. But with the lack of an itinerary, you had to schedule the meeting with Changbin this early so you can try to figure out how the day is going to go. The concert went slightly longer than it should have last night when Felix's "Let's go one more!" turned into five more. After that, you got caught in traffic on your way back to the hotel. You’re not sure if it’s the post-concert adrenaline that you’ve grown accustomed to or pure anxiety from your one-on-one day with Changbin, but you couldn’t sleep when you got back. So you decided to get some work done editing pictures until you felt tired enough to sleep.
Unfortunately for you, that came an hour before you needed to wake up. And even then, it was more like your body forced you to go to sleep than you actively decided to go to bed. You’re glad you had some sense to set your alarm ahead of time or else you definitely would have overslept.
Ding!
You let out a deep sigh as you click over to the message you just got from your team leader. Seoul is only 2 hours ahead of Bangkok meaning that he’s already back home from church and decided to torment you all before lunchtime. He may be a worse workaholic than you.
“You’ve got to be fucking joking,” You grumble under your breath as you scroll through the message he sent you.
“If you’re fussing about me being late, I still had 10 minutes before I needed to be here, noona,” Changbin speaks lowly as he takes the seat across from you.
From the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of a staff member, a babysitter as you like to call them, taking a seat at a table nearby. They sit just out of your view but right in Changbin's line of sight. There's a rotation of the same four staff members who accompany you and the group on official outings. It's annoying asking the members a question and watching their eyes drift off to the side to get approval, even for the simplest questions. If you were a bolder person, you'd take advantage of the times you hang out with the members off the clock and ask them questions without their babysitters. But even you know when to draw the line between work and pleasure.
"You're fine. Honestly, I expected you to be a little late. You're part of insomniac-racha, no? We got back pretty late so I thought you'd sleep in a bit." You exit out of the message from your team leader and slide your phone into your camera bag. You'll worry about it later.
"Of the four of us with bad sleep schedules, I have the best one. I can guarantee you that Chan hyung, Hyunjin, and Jisung aren't leaving their beds before noon." He jokes a little louder as he sets a jacket down in the chair next to him.
Changbin's a bit more dressed up compared to the other times you've met up with him. Photo ready. His hair, a now faded dark green leftover from last month's Japanese comeback promotions, is straightened again, his bangs only giving a slight preview of his forehead. He is wearing a short-sleeved button-up shirt that is a similar green to his hair. The green shirt is unbuttoned, revealing the white tank top tucked into his blue jeans and accessorized with a matching black belt. A simple outfit for probably one of the more complex members of the group. Even his accessories are simple. A single, silver ring on his right ring finger, two small layered silver chains, and black-rimmed glasses that you know he doesn't need but somehow ties the whole outfit together. You didn't manage to see his shoes before he sat down but you wouldn't be surprised if they matched the color scheme of his outfit. If you didn't know any better, you would have thought that he touched up the color of his hair to match his shirt.
He's certainly dressed better than you are with your baggy blue jeans, oversized black graphic shirt, and red Converse that you threw on before you left the hotel. It's the least professional outfit you've worn on a workday, but you didn't really care. You're too tired to care. And besides, your job is to be behind the camera not in front of it. Nobody is going to care that you aren't wearing makeup or that you're wearing a face mask and glasses to cover up the dark circles under your eyes that are permanently etched into your face. Or that your hair is going to spend the day in a messy bun or loose ponytail. They're only going to care that you get exemplary shots of their bias.
"Good morning, by the way, noona," Changbin lowers his voice again, so as to not to disturb the other people in the diner.
You chuckle at the delayed greeting. "Good morning, Changbin,"
"Did you order already?" Changbin takes one of the menus that is sitting on the table and skims through it.
"Not yet," You shake your head as you take the other menu. "I didn't know when you'd be here and I didn't want you to feel like I was rushing you. This is one of those places where you have to go and order at the front though so just tell me what you want and I'll get it."
"I'll order for us. It'll probably be easier." Changbin says casually without looking up from his menu.
"You know Thai?" You tilt your head to the side, dumbfounded.
"Chan hyung is close to BamBam seonbaenim and one of his love languages is learning languages. He always tries to teach us what he knows." You can't see his face beneath his mask but you can hear the soft fondness for Chan in his voice. "Plus, I believe that there are five fundamental things you should know in terms of foreign languages: how to order food, how to ask for directions, how to shop, proper greetings...and how to ask where the bathroom is."
You can't help but laugh at the last addition. You can only imagine how many times he's gotten in trouble before he realized he needed to learn the last one.
"Okay, you can order for me. Your Thai is probably better than mine anyway." Truth be told, you were fully prepared to head to the counter with your broken Thai and the menu and just pointing at what you wanted to order. Part of you is grateful that Changbin offered to order instead.
"What do you want?" He sets the menu down, finally settling on what he wants.
"This," You turn your own menu upside down and point at what you wanted. Thankfully, the menu had English descriptions right next to them. "And the largest, strongest ice coffee that they have."
There's an expression on his face that you can't read for a moment before he nods. You watch as he walks over to the Skzigi sitting near you and has a brief conversation with her before going to the front counter to order. You laugh to yourself when you finally see his shoes: white sneakers with green on them.
You quickly jot down what Changbin said about Chan and BamBam and about the five fundamental things of learning a new language in your notebook while they're still fresh in your head. You have a tape recorder for the actual interview portion, as old school as that sounds. But you don't want to pull it out now and be rude. You're extra cautious around Changbin and any sort of recording device you have after what happened in Sydney. You two may have reconciled, but you know he still doesn't fully trust you.
Changbin comes back from the counter and walks straight back to the Skzigi, handing her a receipt. It only now just dawned on you that he went up to her earlier to ask what she wanted to eat and ordered it for her. You take note of it in your notebook. It's one of the few things that you've noticed about all of the members, their kindness towards their staff. You've been around groups that treat their staff members as poorly as you can imagine. Or, if it's not the entire group, it's a few members. It's refreshing to see that the entire group treats the staff like they're a part of the group as well.
"How much what my stuff?" You ask Changbin when he sits back down with you. You pull your phone out and open up to a money transfer app.
"Don't worry about it." Changbin waves off as he puts his receipt in his pocket.
"I can pay for my own food." You blink.
"I'm using the company card. All of our meals today are on JYP PDnim."
You'd believe him if you hadn't spent months hearing the other members saying the same thing despite the fact that you say them using their personal cards. Most of the other members already blocked you on money-sharing apps or disabled their Apple Pay so you couldn't pay them back. You're almost certain Changbin hasn't done that yet.
"Changbin--"
"It's fine, noona," He sits up straighter in his chair.
"...I'm paying for lunch. But thank you" You sigh as you see that Changbin also blocked you. At this rate, you're going to be pulling out a suspicious amount of cash by the end of the tour and sneaking it into all of their suitcases.
"We'll see," He laughs. "What pissed you off earlier?"
Your mind trails back to the text from your team leader that you never responded to. You quickly go back to the message and put a thumbs up to it so he knows that you saw it. If you didn't, he'd end up sending you a bunch of emails and texts later until you acknowledge him despite it not being a work day and you're technically out of the office.
"I was just reacting to the list of comebacks and debut albums for January. Which just means I'm going to have more reviews to finish over the holidays." You can already imagine how many albums and eps are currently sitting in your inbox.
"Isn't The Seoul Star a big company? Are you the only one there who can review albums?" You can feel the concern in Changbin's voice leap across the table and float around your head.
"It's...it's complicated. The short story is that I'm apparently too good at my job. The longer one is that it's all bureaucratic bullshit and I like being employed so I just keep my mouth shut and do what I'm told."
"If you're that good at your job, shouldn't they treat you better?"
"Am I the one getting interviewed? What's happening right now?" You laugh, but not because it's funny, but because you're too tired to get into that topic right now.
"Technically, the interview hasn't started yet." He says smugly.
"Speaking of which," You quickly shift the topic off of you, "where are we going first today?"
Changbin nods, realizing that you don't want to get into it. Instead, he follows your lead into the new conversation. "We'll see,"
"Excuse me?" You freeze. You want to hope that you misunderstood him or that he's playing coy. But you know him enough to know that he's being serious.
"We'll see," He repeats nonchalantly, picking at the nonexistent lint on his shirt.
“I hope that means you already planned everything today, like I asked you to do, and you’re going to wow me with your amazing travel guide skills.” You laugh nervously.
You know that if Changbin’s concept doesn’t look half as good as the other members, you’re in deep shit with their fanbase. While Changbin isn’t your favorite member because of how rocky your relationship started, you’ll have “Changbin anti” rumors circulating as soon as the magazine is released. Not to mention other rumors that will completely derail your career and everything you worked hard for.
“It means that we’ll see where the day takes us,” He clarifies, not that it makes anything better.
“I’m entirely too tired for this,” You mutter under your breath as you lay your head against the table. “I knew I should have planned something just in case.”
You sit there for a moment, your forehead pressed into your forearm, trying to even your breathing. Crying first thing in the morning in front of Changbin is the last thing you want to do. Crying in front of anyone is the last thing you want to do in general but in front of the man who most likely hates you is worse. Instead, you focus and try to remember some of the events that you looked up a few months ago.
We can try to do something with the floating market. It'll be harder, there'll be a lot of people around, and I'll have to edit their faces and hope the concept comes out well. There are too many Christmas events going on right now. Which would be nice if we were releasing the magazine now, but it's not coming out until the middle of next year. Going to The Grand Palace or temples might come off as distasteful and cause a scandal that neither of us would survive. Well, Changbin might survive it. His fans might just shove the blame on me. Which, in this case, would be correct. Maybe we can do a "Date with Changbin in Bangkok" concept and just have him eat street food. Even then, that's a pretty desperate and lame attempt that would reflect negatively on me. Not to mention the lack of permits for any of these places. It might be more complicated to explain to locals what's going on, especially since we can't really advertise for them. Maybe we can--
"Noona?" Changbin's voice calls out softly, his fingertips graze your arm almost shocking you out of your spiral.
"Hm?" You plaster on a fake smile and lift your head to meet Changbin in the eyes.
You've unlocked a new expression from Changbin. It takes longer than normal to register the furrowed brows forming three perfectly parallel lines between them, his lips pressed into a thin frown, and the way his eyes carefully looked over you as concern. It's similar to the one that Wonseok had on his face when you spent your first Christmas in Seoul and the two of you got drunk in his room after opening presents with his family. Right after you hit your soju limit you told him that it was the happiest Christmas you've ever experienced.
"Wipe that look off your face, you're weirding me out." You laugh as you push his hand off of your arm.
"I didn't think it would stress you out that much." He whispers, almost as innocently as a child who got caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing for the first time.
"You're saying that you wouldn't be stressed out if someone told you, last minute, that you had to freestyle your performance?" You scoff.
"I'm a rapper, I'm supposed to freestyle," He sits up straight again, finally removing his hand from the spot on the table where you pushed it to.
You pinch the bridge of you, throw your head back, and let out an exasperated sigh. You don't care how this comes off to the staff member sitting not even 3 feet away from you. "It's been so long since I've met someone who manages to piss me off every time they talk. You really know how to wear my patience down, don't you, Changbin-ssi?"
"I'm not--"
"Here's your food," The waiter says slowly, making sure that you and Changbin understand every word. He sets down the two plates towards the end of the table, not sure what belongs to who, but also not sure if the two of you would be able to understand him if he were to ask. He only heard you and Changbin speaking rather loudly in Korean earlier.
"Thank you," Changbin says with a smile and a nod. After the waiter leaves, he slides over your food, which had been placed closer to him. He leans in slightly over the table and whispers, "I'm not doing it on purpose."
"Could've fooled me," You mutter as you roll your eyes. You ignore the plate of food and take the glass of iced coffee that has, thankfully, been placed close to you and take a large lip of it.
You can't hide the face that appears on your face as the bitter taste of the coffee hits your tongue. Still, you force it down and set the cup back on the table, deciding to let the ice melt a bit to lessen the flavor. Changbin wordlessly slides the sugar packets towards you.
"Thank you," You whisper without looking at Changbin. You take four sugar packets and one of the vanilla creamers, pour them into your cup, and mix it quietly with a spoon from the table.
The two of you sit in relative silence in the diner, the only comfort that makes it not completely awkward is the white noise coming from the kitchen and the other patrons. You watch as Changbin fiddles with his utensils and his food, seemingly having to have lost his appetite.
"Look," You take another sip of the coffee and set it back down on the table, "I'm sorry. I'm just extremely sleep-deprived right now and it's making me act unprofessionally. Let's just eat and then we'll figure it out."
"It's fine. I'm sorry too. You're just so wound up and focused on your job all the time, I thought that I could...I don't know, force you to slow down today by being spontaneous." He finally stops playing with his food and shovels some of it into his mouth.
"There's nothing wrong with a strong work ethic." You shrug while taking a bite of your own food.
"There's a difference between working hard and working yourself to death." A hushed tone replaces his usual, booming voice.
You stop chewing for a second, studying Changbin. He keeps his head down as he eats, almost like he's refusing to look at you. You set your fork down and lace your fingers together as you place them on the table in front of you. You twiddle your thumbs together as you think about your words carefully. The caffeine coursing through your veins is already causing your previously sluggish brain to work faster than it did earlier.
"We've been on tour for three, almost four months now. In that time, you've done 18 shows in 10 different cities." Changbin glances up at you as you lean in a bit closer. "And during that time you've also promoted a Japanese comeback, performed at and attended award shows, completed countless interviews, worked on and promoted collabs, worked on an entirely new comeback for next year, and filmed content for future projects. And that's just you. The other members had their own schedules--hell, some of them attended fashion week or flew back home to help other artists produce songs. And I know for a fact that you're planning that comeback to be released in between the gap between the first and second leg of the tour. The call is coming from deep inside of the house."
"You've got me there," Changbin sets his utensils on the side of his plate. He takes his napkin and dabs the corner of his mouth before placing it on his lap. He pauses for a moment before making eye contact with you again. "But at least I know how to relax on my days off."
You smirk as you let out a huff of air, your patience wearing thin again. "You have seven other group members that you can lean on when work gets to be too much. I don't have anyone. I may wear a Skzigi badge, but I'm not one of them. I'm an outsider to them. My team back home only sees this as a glorified vacation, I can't even complain to them without coming off as entitled. I don't have the luxury to relax."
A sinking feeling in your chest overwhelms you, filling you with dread. You've become concerningly aware of the staff member sitting near you, who is most likely going to gossip with the other staff members about you later about how unprofessional you are and how rude you've been to Changbin. You squeeze your eyes shut, almost like a child.
One...Two...Three...Four--
"Noona--"
"Forget it," Your eyes snap open as you quickly cut Changbin off, not really wanting to hear his pity for you. You pick up your fork and go back to picking at your food. "Just eat and find something for us to do with lax photography policies. We're wasting time with the conversation. It's not going to change anything."
***
"You don't cook a lot normally, do you?" You ask Changbin as you go over the pictures in your camera. The tape recorder you've been using all day sits between you. Both of you have small mics so that you can be heard loud and clear when you play it back later.
The day ended up well, despite its rocky start. The two of you went to the floating market after agreeing to do a food theme. You got pictures of Changbin "buying" fruits and vegetables from merchants on the boats. You even bought some actual fruit and got pictures of him eating them. You did some walking around and got pictures of Changbin at some food stalls, one of which the three of you actually ate at. You found a Thai cooking class for tourists and rented the space so that you could get pictures of Changbin cooking. Overall, it looks like another date concept, but it comes off almost like the Stay is going through a sort of farmer's market with Changbin and then cooking dinner with him. You got some amazing shots of Changbin feeding the camera that you're really proud of. You even had some time earlier to explore the more scenic routes around Bangkok, which is why the two of you are taking a bus ride over an hour back to the hotel.
Click
You turn to Changbin, who sets down the disposable film camera you gave him earlier in his lap. He peers over your shoulder to see what you're looking at. It's a picture of Changbin looking at an egg that he dropped on the floor. You know there's a picture somewhere of him holding a pan on fire that you took almost 20 minutes after that.
"It's not that I can't cook. Like most things, if I focus and try my best, I can do it." He speaks clearly and loudly so his voice isn't muffled by his mask. He lets out a soft chuckle like he's remembering something fondly. "But I don't trust myself in the kitchen. I'll end up wasting more things because of mistakes so I just order food or let one of the members that can cook take over. I know when to step away and let the professionals take over. I'm not as bad as Yongbok...Ayen, or Kim Seungmin though."
"So you're asking Minho to cook a lot then?" You set your camera down and rub your eyes. You're not sure if sleep is catching up to you or if your eyes are tired from looking at the camera screen.
"Yeah but...Minho hyung is a bit funny." He laughs as he leans his head against the back of the seat.
"Funny how?" You tilt your head.
You watch as Changbin's eyes shift over to the Skzigi sitting in front of you, asking permission to talk about it. You hate when the members do this. Especially when they do it over questions that are nowhere near controversial. The Skizigi's back is facing the window of her seat so she can keep an eye on the two of you and prevent anyone else from sitting near you and hearing your conversation, not that they would be able to understand you anyway. She pauses for a moment, looking up from her phone, before giving him a soft nod. She glances around before gesturing for Changbin to answer. There are not many places for people to sneak up on you since you're sitting in the back of the bus.
"I don't know if it's because he has that tsundere thing going on or because he's an only child so he's not used to all of the attention, but...Like if one of us asks him to make something directly, he'll say 'No.' Or if one of us just mentions that we're craving something and he happens to be in the room he'll say 'Just use your food delivery app.'"
You laugh, you've witnessed similar scenarios with Minho where he's done things like that with the other members more than enough times for you to believe it. "That sounds like Mr. Cat."
"Right?" He continues. "But then a few days later he'll call and say 'Come over, I made too much food to eat by myself' and it's the food we asked him to make or mentioned. And no matter how difficult it was or how much time he took, he'll play it off like it was no big deal. You've heard about the Beef Wellington story, right?"
Changbin's voice has a certain...soft fondness that you don't think you've heard in anyone's voice as he talks about Minho. You only just now noticed that he does that when he talks about any of the members.
"You mean when he spent like...four hours making Beef Wellington for Felix's birthday?" You recall.
"Exactly! He's always taking care of us like that. He pretends like he doesn't care about us or that he can't be bothered but..." Changbin glances over the Skzigi again. This time she hesitates to answer. Instead, he ignores her and turns his attention back to you before she can object. "It's all an act for the camera. But he truly cares about and loves the members. Even if he won't admit it. He is more of a 'showing his love through actions' person than a 'speaking his feelings' person."
You glance over to the Skzigi this time, mentally taking note of the annoyed look on her face. You know she's going to say something to you later.
"You know," You speak loudly so she can hear you as you turn back to Changbin. "I've been around a lot of groups where it's blatantly clear that their relationship is just a business one. But, after spending these past four months with you guys, I can see that you guys are an actual family."
"A family?" Changbin's voice trails off as he looks past you and out the window behind you. "Yeah, we are...I used to beg my parents and pray when I was little for a brother. And now I have two older ones and five younger ones."
You almost miss the worried look that appears on the Skzigi's face. Changbin catches it and thinks to himself for a moment.
"Take out the part about me praying about it. You can just say that I begged my parents for a brother." He says softly.
"Understood," You nod. You make a note of it on your phone just in case the mic didn't pick it up.
You understand why he said it. Even though his contract renewal gave him more freedom, there are still things he can't talk about. Or rather, he shouldn't speak about to protect his idol image. You remember the backlash Felix received just for being seen holding his Bible and mentioning that he'll pray for fans.
"I think we're done for today," You yawn as you turn off the tape recorder and shove it into your bag, along with your phone.
"Are you tired, noona?" Changbin asks, snapping back into his normal self.
"I think all the caffeine I've consumed today has escaped my body," You yawn again. If you're being completely transparent, you've lost track of how many coffees you bought today after the third one.
You squeeze your eyes shut and open them as wide as you can to keep them from staying shut. You slowly take apart your camera and pack it away in your bag as well. Still, the low lights in the bus, the quiet ambiance from the few passengers, and the stillness of the night are starting to make your eyes feel heavy and unfocused.
"An hour? Noona, that's not healthy." Changbin nearly shouts.
"It's fine. You guys have your own schedules for the next few days before we leave for Jakarta. I'm going straight to bed and sleeping in tomorrow since you don't need me." You grab your bag from your side and set it between you and Changbin on top of his jacket so you're sure you won't forget it.
"Yeah, but that's..." Concern laces Changbins voice as it trains off. "We're still far from the hotel and it looks like we're in traffic. Why don't you rest? I'll wake you up when we get there."
"Hm, maybe just for a moment. I'm probably going to end up knocking out at this rate anyway." You yawn again as you rub your eyes.
You settle a bit more into your seat, resting your head against the back of your seat and crossing your arms across your chest. You let your lead heavy eyes and don't try to open them again.
The three of you sit in silence for a while. You can hear someone typing away on their phone. Somehow, it doesn't annoy you. It's almost like ASMR.
"I'm sorry for being a bitch this morning," You mumble.
Thud
You force one eye open to see the Skzigi bending over to pick up her phone. You let out a soft chuckle at her reaction to hearing you swear. You don't do it often. Another sign of how tired you are. You close your eye again.
"I-I wouldn't use those words," Changbin clears his throat nervously. "But you're fine. I was being rude and frustrating earlier. Your frustration with me was completely valid. I'm sorry,"
"Apology accepted."
The two of you fall silent again and the soft typing resumes. The bus moves forward a little and then stops, almost like it's rocking you to sleep. Only, a thought pops into your head as you try to drift off to sleep.
You try to shake it out of your head to no avail. The more the louder the thought gets in your head, the more away you're becoming.
Fuck,
“Can I ask you something else off the record?” You break the silence again.
“Go to sleep, noona,” Changbin sings softly.
“Just one last thing, I promise.”
Changbin pauses for a moment, debating letting you ask the question. You crack your eye open again to find him deep in thought. After a moment, he turns to you. “If I don’t feel comfortable, I’m not answering.”
“Okay,” You nod, closing your eye again and resuming your previous position. You sit there for a moment, thinking of different ways to phrase the question.
“Noona?" Changbin whispers softly. "Did you fall asleep? Or are you having second thoughts?”
“I’m not having…It’s just a complicated question to ask.” You breathe.
He gently knocks your knee with his. “Stuff like that is off the table, you know that.”
“This has nothing to do with your romantic life, family, or private life.” You say quickly.
He pauses for a moment again. You're not sure if he's thinking or trying to read your thoughts. You're too tired to open your eyes and check to see what he's doing. You hear a soft sigh before he opens his mouth. “Then why are you having trouble asking it?”
“Because it’s…” You press your lips tightly into a thin line as you try to find your words. Your brain is nearly mush in its current state. You give up trying to find a diplomatic way of asking the question and just go for it. “Why did you hate me at first?”
More silence. You're almost certain that he's planning on getting out of the question by waiting for you to fall asleep. You hear him clear his throat again.
“I didn’t hate you." He says faintly. "I don’t hate anyone.”
“Bullshit,” You snort.
Thud
“I’m telling you the truth!” He says a little too loudly.
It's enough to make you jump and open your eyes. You scan the bus, none of the passengers seem disturbed by the volume.
You place your hand on Changin's forearm as you shush him.“Shh, okay, I believe you,”
“Sorry,” He lowers his voice, almost whispering. “Look, I didn’t hate you. Hating people isn’t good for your health and it takes too much energy away from you that you can use on something else.”
“But, you definitely didn’t like me,” You push.
“Not because of who you are.” He reassures you.
You think for a moment as you go back into your sleep position. “Because I'm a reporter?”
“Exactly,” He hums. You can almost picture him nodding his head as he says it.
"But you do interviews all of the time. I saw the Rolling Stones article. The journalist is a good writer, but you seemed comfortable."
"That took a while to get to that point. But after what happened at the MET Gala...I've been cautious around photographers and reporters. And this situation is...it's different because you're always around. Always watching and listening."
"Not always," You laugh to yourself, "As you pointed out earlier, I'm always working and I'm not around to that often."
"I know...Anyway, I was just worried about the group. It's our seventh year. It's a scary time, anything can go wrong, even if we don't do anything. We've reached a new level of fame this year and with that comes unwanted attention. It's hard to know, at this point in our careers, who is there to help us and who is here to harm us."
"...I'm here to help."
"I know that now. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize."
"It's fine," You yawn loudly.
"Go to sleep, noona," Changbin whispers softly. You can almost feel his breath on your ear.
Satisfied with the conversation, your brain rapidly returns to sleep mode. You offer a hum in response to Changbin. The bus starts moving again, pulling your body deeper into the state of sleep.
Your body is in a weird state where you have no real concept of time. It feels like you're only resting your eyes. You can hear the low hum from the bus moving and gently squeaking as it slows down. But your brain and body also feel like you're asleep. It feels like it's only been a few moments, but your eyes are glued shut. You can't even open them to check the time on your phone.
You feel warm all of a sudden, almost like you've been covered with a blanket. A few moments later, or soon after you can't really tell, you feel like you're falling. A few more moments later you feel something touch the side of your head, making you fall faster, just before the other side of your head hits something soft. You feel a soft smile creep on your face, but you're no longer in control of any part of your body anymore.
Click
—
Buy me a coffee?
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𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄 y. jeongin ( 양정인 )
synopsis | you really needed a new computer, but at least your boyfriend was there to ease the burden.
pairing : jeongin x fem!reader genre : drabble, fluff, est. relationship warnings : language, bit of angst word count : 0.7k authors note : this wasn't bc i couldn't get my fucking computer to stop downloading everything as pages and cried about it... no...
You shut your computer with the loudest groan you’ve ever let out. Your hands found their way into the roots of your hair as your head collided with your palms. You tugged lightly, trying in some weird attempt to get the pain inside to ease up.
“What the actual fuck,” you mumbled into thin air, “if this damn computer doesn’t work again, I’m actually going to fail this assignment.”
You had the worst—and oldest—version of a laptop you think anyone could ever have. It lagged out, stopped working and wouldn’t let you convert anything into a pdf, much less an editable copy. Of course, besides it sounding like it was going to explode while you played the sims, or acting as a make-shift heating pad when you dared open more than two tabs at a time, it had its charms… Most of them, however, were the stickers it was adorned with over the years.
You really needed a new one.
Your eyes welled, but you shut them quickly before any tears started to fall. It was frustrating having to try anything and everything to not inconvenience your professors; always trying to have the piece of hot-shit up to date so you could keep up with the deadlines. But, you weren’t sure how much more of the jumping through hoops you could do before it completely inconvenienced you.
Why couldn’t they just bring back the paper days? you thought. You could definitely find a pen or pencil somewhere in your house—maybe even a typewriter would work better.
Everything piling up in your life was getting a little overwhelming. It was mentally and physically taking a toll on you. Your shoulders had become more rounded, and your blue-light glasses were barely working anymore. You kept getting stress related headaches, and you seemed more anxious than normal.
You felt the warm touch meet the skin of your shoulders, dragging from one side to the other. “Are you okay?” The corresponding voice asked. Your so-very sweet boyfriend, of course.
You looked at him through the parted hair in your fingers, “No, it’s already past due by four days.” You groaned again, completely letting your head fall onto the closed metal. “this piece of shit, in, like what am I supposed to do now? I’m so stressed and I’m already on the verge of having a non-passing grade. This stu—”
He cut your tangent short, “Hey, baby, let’s take a deep breath.” His other hand took the opposite shoulder, thumbs digging into the knots that had formed over the last half a semester. “It’s all gonna be fine, we’ll figure something out. It’s not the end of the world, I promise.”
You turned your head to the side, visibly pouting. He moved to the base of your neck, massaging the tension away just a bit more.
“But Jeongin,” He broke away momentarily to take the bridge of your glasses between his forefinger and thumb, dragging them off and putting them aside. “If this damn computer…”
He kept at it, letting you rant about your outdated computer. At least it was closed, he thought, you needed a break anyways—late assignments or not. He knew you were tired, not having slept well the last couple days. He was the man sleeping next to you afterall. He also knew that you rarely wanted to stress him out, so you bottled it inside. The depths of the night made it obvious however, tossing and turning and sitting up to stare at the wall.
Jeongin hmphed, hearing the lightest breaths leave your parted lips. He examined closer, you had fallen asleep under the simplest of touches from him. You must have needed to relax (and lay off the caffeine) bad, he thought.
He knew you’d also probably wake up in a panic in a couple of minutes, spewing something about your schoolwork. However, he’d just take you to bed and run his hand up and down your back all night if he had to. Whatever to get you to stop overthinking—and putting everyone else first.
You were a very dedicated person to your studies, but even the smartest person in the world needed a break once and a while.
And maybe a new computer…
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Do you ever start something as a joke and lose complete control over your life?
In a world of dwindling hope, love has never mattered more... [read the full blurb here]
What is Hunger Pangs?
Hunger Pangs, often shortened to “Phangs” by the self-proclaimed phangdom, is my debut romance novel, published in Nov 2020, featuring a deaf, disabled werewolf, a neurodivergent, mad scientist vampire, and an all-powerful enchantress who is the last of her kind.
It is the first book in a slow-burn, polyamorous gaslamp fantasy romance series focusing on the relationship(s) and antics of the three main characters, Nathan Northland, Vlad Blutstein, and Lady Ursula, as they work to save the world they love from imminent magical and ecological disaster.
The first book primarily focuses on the relationship between Nathan and Vlad, with Ursula heavily alluded to in the next book (Pride and Folly) via some shameless flirting and stolen, impulsive kisses.
No love triangles here. Just three highly competent, world-saving bisexuals sharing the same brain cell the closer they get to each other.
There are two editions of the novel. The Flirting with Fangs edition depicts on-page sexual acts, and the Fluff and Fangs edition which uses alternative scenes/fade-to-black scenes for those who prefer not to read depictions of sex. You can read more about why I decided to do this here.
How Did Phangs come to be?
Like most things on my blog, the original concept began as a joke. My friend and enabler, @jeneelestrange, and I were talking about our least favorite tropes in romance/erotica, including but not limited to toxic “alpha” werewolves, brooding stalker vampire boyfriends, and the absolute profound bullshit that is the Conflicted Love Triangle and Bury Your Gays.
Eventually, it culminated in this post:
(source)
It was meant to be a joke. I really cannot emphasize this enough. It was meant to be a shitpost between friends.
A throwaway ADHD impulse.
Tumblr, however, wanted more of these posts, and like a swarming mass of drift-compatible rats in a trench coat, grabbed hold of my lack of impulse control and Ratatouille'd me into becoming an international bestselling author, and, well, here we are.
I also started writing the series while dying, which I highly do not recommend as a functional creative process.
Absolutely do not start a 500k five-part novel series about love and hope while dying from an undiagnosed genetic disorder. Or if you do, make sure you actually die so you don't have to edit the damn thing. (I am mostly kidding.)
What are the themes/tropes/character dynamics of the book?
In the simplest of terms, Phangs is a queer-polyamorous-paranormal-satirical-romance series featuring vampires, werewolves, and all other manner of creatures that go bump in the night.
It is set in a pseudo-regency meets fake-Victorian Gaslamp Fantasy world, complete with gothic castles, enchanted forests, and just a smidge of industrial coal dust.
Style-wise, Phangs has been described by readers as "like reading the queer, goth love child of Terry Pratchett meets Jane Austen," and I've never been more proud of anything in my life.
If Game of Thrones ascribes to the idea that the night is dark and full of terrors, Phangs is the monster-fucker politely sidling up to them at the bar and asking if they can buy them a drink.
It is also primarily a love letter to fandom, which has led some people to believe it’s fanfiction with the serial labels filed off. But as the person who spent five years agonizing over the world-building, I can assure you this is all very much the product of my weird little ADHD brain picking up tropes, shaking them upside down, and running off with whatever fun and interesting things shake loose.
As already stated, the first book, True Love Bites, focuses primarily on the relationship between Captain Nathaniel J. Northland and Viscount Vlad Blutstein.
The first part of the book primarily focuses on Nathan coming home injured from war and trying to find his place in the world as newly deaf and disabled -- something which alienates him from his werewolf family, who don't know what to do with an injury that can't be mended by a full moon.
While working on the island of Eyrie, he encounters Viscount Blutstein -- Vlad-- a neurodivergent, mad scientist dandy vampire with an enthusiasm for demonic botany and a streak of unfailing kindness as broad and expansive as the sky.
It's not so much love at first sight for the pair as instantaneous lust hampered by the restrictions of polite 1880 society and old ingrained prejudices that make them think the other couldn't possibly be interested in them that way. They're just misreading all those heartfelt stares and sexually charged chess games.
(The love is requited, your honor, they're just idiots.)
Both characters are explicitly queer/mspec, as is Ursula, who drops into their world like a magical atom bomb going off, but not before she spends her own parts of the book desperately trying to figure out what manner of dark entity is killing the magical shrines around the world that keep the world alive.
Thematically, the series touches on many things, but the book’s overriding theme is love. Romantically, of course, and love between families, both found or otherwise. But also love as an act of courage. As a choice. An act of defiance in dark and troubling times, and what it means to be loved and belong even though you’re different.
Especially when you’re different.
And I really fucking hope you enjoy it.
To read the full synopsis and check out the heat ratings, buy links and content tags, go to www.joydemorra.com
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I have a question and you might’ve been asked before, but animation, do you have any tips for beginners? Love your content btw 🥰
Even tho my degree is in animation I must be honest…😬 nowadays I very often don’t have the patience for anything more complicated than animatics. So I’m trying to stick to tried and true advice lol…
Probably the biggest tip would be that, yes the beginner exercises may be boring, and not look very cool, but they are essential to getting those skills you need down. The flour sack exercise, the wave principle—doing squash and stretch, and timing studies to really nail the way that movements should “flow” properly. These are absolutely necessary skills to master if you want to make fluid animations.
Planning is also another important, but sometimes overlooked aspect of animation. Some ppl (read:me) wanna just jump straight to animating. But planning in those first simplest stages really helps save you headaches in the later stages, when things are getting more complicated and all over the place. Storyboarding helps you plot your timing, choosing where key shots will go, camera angles, pacing ect.
And speaking of camera angles. STUDY STUDY STUDY cinematography! Something doesn’t have to be animated for it to be applied to animation. Perspective is a massive beast to tackle once you start storyboarding and unless you want boring shots and stagnant compositional framing, you need to learn all the ways you can frame a scene and your characters! Idk if you’re up for watching some horror movies, but those are a great source to pull from, as they tend to always frame, pace and even light their shots in really interesting and dynamic ways!
It’s also great to practice with free programs before you spend money on things like a subscription for photoshop or any other fancy software. Most interfaces are similar enough, that beginning with something free like Rough Animator or Blender can give you some good practice before you commit!
That’s all I can think of right now! And sorry if that wasn’t exactly what you were looking for…if you want me to try to give more specific advice on something just drop me another ask—I’m willing to keep rambling on!
Lastly, just few good videos I have saved!
Good traditional habits for digital animators <- basically Toniko Pantoja’s whole channel is a goldmine of knowledge!
Drawing figures in perspective
Every Frame A Painting is also a great channel for breaking down film/composition/writing—there’s a video for virtually every aspect of cinema
-Chuck Jones -the evolution of an artist
-Akira Kurosawa- composing movement
-Satoshi Kon- editing space and time
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Ahhhh that Jason fic was so good! I loved how you write him so stern and caring!
I was wondering if you could do another Jason fic where reader is sort of working herself weary, maybe she feels like she has something to prove especially with how powerful everyone is so she’s been volunteering for watches and missions and helping hedge and just everything she can around the ship and she starts to crack a bit so everyone tries to get her to take a break but she’s super stubborn and no one can except Jason on like his third try she finally gives in and rests?
(Like when he told Hazel to eat in your last fic, sort of that vibe it makes me weak in the knees!)
Overworked, Underappreciated (by the gods)
pairing: jason x gf!ares!reader
summary: Jason notices you're overworking yourself again, and despite him and everyone on the Argo II trying to tell you to take a break, you never really sit your ass down until he finally convinces you to do so.
genre: angst/comfort
wc: 2.6k
warning/s: cursing, fem reader, she/her pronouns, overworking, jason being stern, stubborn reader, mmm godly father issues, breakdown
note: thank you for your request anon!! i hope it's fine that i made this one kind of a continuation of this oneshot, but it can be read seperately. enjoy!
oneshot under the cut :: not edited
Jason always admired your hard work and determination.
Sure, you were constantly aggressive about it and telling everyone to fuck off if they complimented you on that, he still considered it one of the countless things that he loved about you.
But of course, there were times where that hard work and determination would lead to something unmanageable, like your tendency to overwork yourself.
You were an expert at hiding it, but Jason knew that beneath your tough and angry exterior, you always felt like you weren't giving enough despite giving a little too much already. You were a daughter of Ares, and your godly lineage didn't grant you much except for anger issues.
You weren't as good with weapons as your siblings. You definitely weren't as good at anything as Clarisse, your half-sister and your dad's favorite kid. Actually, all your other brothers and sisters had at least some sign that Ares acknowledged their existence. You on the other hand got nothing except that you could reach your boiling point seven times faster than the average person.
They have to thank Jason for being there to calm you down, because they all don't just feel like, but they know that if he wasn't with them, the ship would have sunk two days in the water or air.
They never really expected you to be the type to give all — and I mean, all your energy into whatever you need to do.
Replacing the ripped sails after a battle with some pirates? Step back. If not, you'd just push any one of them out of the way and grab the new sails from them and replace it on your own. Frank was a constant victim, despite being the burliest of them.
A large tentacle wrapped around the ship? They don't dare to think about chopping it into pieces before you came in, sword weaving through the monster like it was made of clay. Percy steps out from below decks to give the monster a little chat but slips on the blood it left in its wake.
Zeus/Jupiter decided to fuck around with them and send a lightning bolt striking almost right beside Percy? You'd immediately push him into the nearest demigod's arms and put out the fire yourself before the water boy could even process what was happening.
Even the simplest tasks around the Argo II, like cleaning the stables, rearranging the medbay, cleaning up the kitchen either after a meal or after the ship was constantly swaying and made a mess of fallen plates and food, you'd curse someone out just for trying to grab a broom or open their mouth to tell you that they can do it instead.
Jason was no exception to this treatment, and he didn't expect to be; he just wanted to make sure that you knew your limits as well as he did.
"You're low on medical equipment," Hedge grunted, stepping into the small dining room one afternoon while everyone was eating lunch. "I'm gonna go restock it."
Today was a slow day for the eight demigods, and they were grateful for it. All they had to do was the usual chores before they could chill anywhere on the ship.
Which is why no one was surprised you were the one who wanted to break the mundane routine. "I'll go with you," you huffed, standing up with your plate in your hands, maneuvering around the short half goat man to put the dirty dish in the sink. "I'll make sure your stupid fur brains doesn't get the wrong shit."
"Us satyrs are damn good healers, mind you!" Hedge bleated angrily.
You rolled your eyes. "Yeah with colored leaves and rituals and shit."
Before Hedge could retaliate, Annabeth stepped into the conversation. "You should rest today. I can go with Hedge and help him pick out the right items."
"No need, Brains," You shot her down. "I can do this. Are you suggesting otherwise?" Your voice raised threateningly, making Annabeth raise her hands in surrender.
"No, but I —"
"Good." You turned back to Hedge. "Let's go before you get more dirt on floor I just mopped, old man."
You left the room without waiting for the satyr to follow. Hedge muttered colorful insults under his breath, moving to exit the dining as well before Jason stopped him by asking, "Coach, can you watch over her? She's been working constantly these past few weeks, and she hasn't really caught a break."
Hedge rose an eyebrow. "Can't you do that yourself? Aren't you her boyfriend or something?"
"I tried, but it's hard to convince her," Jason sighed, leaning back in his chair exhaustedly. "Just — look out for her, yeah? And don't tell her I told you."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Hedge waved him off. "It'll be my head."
The coach left without another word.
"I'm worried about her," Percy confessed, Frank and Piper nodding in agreement. "I tried asking her if she needed help yesterday, and she almost bit my head off."
"And you would've thought that she'd learn by now to stop herself when she starts to overwork again," Leo commented.
Hazel sighed. "If she doesn't give herself time to recharge, she's going to shut down."
Jason simply played around with his leftover food, deep in thought. "Yeah..."
—————
Thank the gods you returned without any issues besides the usual profanities exchanged between you and Hedge. He left soon after that, claiming that he had "business elsewhere," and said that they should get going on their journey without him.
They left the day after that. They knew he'd make his way back to camp eventually.
The streak of calm continued, even as the Argo II departed from the sea and launched into the air. There weren't as much monsters that showed up to annoy them like flies hovering in their ears.
You and Jason were on watch that night. Thankfully, there wasn't much of a threat in the clouds, so Jason just sat down on a random crate while you paced around, playing with the straps of your leather breastplate.
"Hey, you can sit down for a while," Jason said, watching you go to and from the large wooden post in the middle.
You scowled at him in response. "We're supposed to be on watch. If we relax, we fall asleep. If we fall asleep, monsters attack. If monsters attack, the others could get swept up in that shit knowing how stupid they are."
Your concern for your other crewmates was evident despite how much you tried to hide it by insulting their abilities.
"Sweetheart, its okay," Jason said, still trying to convince you. He wasn't feeling all that tired, which is why he could cover for the both of you. You, on the other hand, looked like you were going insane, the dark half-circles under your eyes apparent even in the weak and diluted moonlight. "You can for now. I promise I'll wake —"
"I can't rest!" Your voice cracked slightly as you whipped around to face him, your eyes wide with a wildness that caught Jason off guard and made him stand up in concern. "I... I just can't..."
You tried to walk away, but your knees collapsed from below you. "Woah careful!"
In a flash, your boyfriend was by your side, barely being able to catch you before you could fully crumple to the ground. "Easy, easy..."
He tried to put your arm around his shoulders so he could lead you to sit down on another crate, but you pushed yourself away from him. Being unable to support yourself, you fell down on your ass.
"What are you doing?" Jason asked, moving to approach you, but you put up your hand to stop him.
"Fuck off, I don't need help," you said, trying to sound angry, but all Jason could hear was your exhaustion.
"Hey, stop being stubborn," Jason frowned, stepping towards you and putting your arm around his shoulders successfully this time, despite your protests and your struggles to get out of his iron grip.
"Fine, just — just put me down there," You gestured to the crate he was sitting on previously. He was originally going to bring you down to your room, but judging from the glance you gave him from the corner of your eye, you could still snap his arm in half if you wanted to.
And so, he obliged, making sure that your feet barely touched the ground as he basically carried you to your destination. He gently set you on the crate, making sure to stand close in front of you so that you wouldn't try to bolt.
"Explain," he said, crossing his arms and peering down at you. You turned your head away from his gaze, and he realized how vulnerable you looked: your eyes were darting around in a desperate attempt to stay alert, but they constantly glazed over, unfocused. Your hands were now fiddling with the strings of your hoodie, their movements slow and groggy. Your upper body was even swaying.
"I..." You started, but sighed and looked up at him. "It's stupid."
Jason's brows furrowed even more at your dismissal. "You almost collapsed from exhaustion. There has to be at least a valid reason for you to compromise your health like that."
You wanted to clamp your jaw shut, but Jason's intense glare made you open your mouth and speak. "You want to know? Fine, I'll tell you. Everyone relies on me — besides Twitchy Fingers — to do what is needed to keep this ship afloat by making sure it doesn't get completely destroyed by the Tartarus-spawn. Every time someone tries to do my job for me, I don't want them to because what if they fuck up and something bad happens? That's gonna be my fuck-up too. I —" You looked away again. "I just can't relax knowing that some bad shit might happen and it'll be my fault."
"I think you're underestimating how well the rest of us can do," Jason said lightly, chuckling a little as he tried to make lift the atmosphere up a little. It didn't work. "We can't do as well as you, of course, but we can manage."
"Oh please, I know damn well how good the rest of you are," You hissed, catching Jason off guard with the anger behind your words. "You all got your own skill sets that your godly parents planted in you that you got to fucking nurture. Even Annabeth, who doesn't have any actual powers, is more of a smartass than all of us combined."
Jason opened his mouth to retaliate, to say that you're downgrading yourself too much, but you didn't let him speak as your voice rose. "And what in the Tartarus did I get from my shitty dad? Fuckin' — fuckin' anger issues, that's what I got. Everything I'm good at — my fighting, my speed, everything — I did that. Ares gave me none of that. That was all me.
"And the moment I thought he'd actually look at me, that he'd acknowledge that I was his kid besides when he claimed me seven months after I came into camp," Your voice got louder still, cracking a little as your eyes got mistier, "is to pay a little visit to Frank in his Roman counterpart."
You stood up now, your body fueled with anger and frustration and other emotions that can't be described. "You wanna know the real reason why I work myself to the brink of exhaustion every time I do what I do, Jason?" Your smile looked maniacal. The few tears that escaped the confines of your lashes didn't really help. "It's because I don't fucking deserve to stand among you. I don't deserve to be on this quest. I don't deserve to be called a 'hero' when we return home as your godly parents shower you with love and attention while mine just thinks 'oh, my kid survived? I had a kid involved?'"
Your body was shaking, but you were done. You fell back down on the crate, holding your head in your hands.
Jason blinked, processing your breakdown. His own chest was contracting painfully as the weight of your words settled in his brain and his heart.
You were feeling this the entire time? Why didn't you say anything?
Your body flinched as you tried to contain a sob, snapping Jason back to reality.
He sat down beside you and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. "Oh sweetheart," he sighed sympathetically. "It's okay to cry. Cry as hard as you need."
Jason expected you to push him off of you again, to tell him to not be stupid and to try and bottle your emotions up again. He hoped you wouldn't.
And you didn't. Instead. you took your face out of your hands and planted it on his shoulder, your own shoulder shaking terribly from your suppressed sobs. "Let it out," he cooed, and you didn't hesitate to drown your sobs on the fabric of his t-shirt, subconsciously moving even closer to his body.
He wrapped both his arms around you as he fixed his position, his upper body now almost fully facing you to give you more comforting hug.
He stroked the back of your head and whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you let all your pent-up anger, frustration, disappointment, and just overall sadness. He even planted light kisses over the parts of you that he could reach; your neck, cheek, temple, crown.
It took you a little while for your sobs to turn into little hiccups, but eventually, you were able to calm down. Jason didn't mind that his shoulder was soaked from your tears. He didn't mind that his spine was stiff from being in a slightly uncomfortable position for a period of time. He didn't mind that you were feeling weak and stupid.
Because even after all that, he still saw you as the strongest and most powerful person he knew.
"What about we go back to my room and rest?" Jason suggested softly. You lifted your head in protest, but Jason pushed it back down to his chest. "I'm sure Hazel and Frank are having trouble sleeping from the good nap they had earlier. They can cover for us."
"I don't want to burden them," You said weakly.
Jason immediately shook his head. "You're a burden to no one on this ship, okay? They won't mind. And besides, it's not weak to ask for a little help once in a while. No one thinks you're weak."
You looked up at him. "You sure?"
Jason nodded, smiling softly. "Absolutely. From what I can see, you're the strongest person here."
You raise an eyebrow. "You sure there's no bias there?"
"Yes I'm 100% sure," Jason said seriously, before breaking into a smile when a breathy laugh escaped your lips. You don't do it often, but Jason loved your laughs. They were always genuine, and Jason would do anything to make you laugh again.
"So, what do you say? Let's go to my dorm," Jason said, supporting you when he felt you moving to stand up.
"You better not do anything weird to me, Grace," you threatened, but there was no heat behind your words.
Jason smiled softly, leading you back below decks. "Never."
He left you in the dorm before he went to convince Hazel and Frank to cover their shift, promising that he'll make up for it. They didn't care. They were just happy that you were finally resting.
Once the blonde boy returned, he found that you were already curled up under the sheets, face relaxed and breaths coming out of you evenly. His eyes softened fondly at your peaceful and stress-free features.
He flipped the light switches, blanketing his room in darkness as he navigated under the sheets to join you. He gathered you up in his arms and curled against you, sighing in content.
"Good night, sweetheart," he whispered against your head, placing a small kiss on the back of it as he felt sleep slowly invade his vision. "I love you."
#jason grace#jason grace x reader#hoo#heroes of olympus#heroes of olympus x reader#percyverse#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#percy jackson#annabeth chase#piper mclean#coach hedge
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Just had a random idea that might be funny, Amy with a female exe reader that took her form. I think it'd be funny to have them start dating and all of Amy's friends being confused as hell as to her dating what kinda looks to be herself.
Amy Rose Dating An EXE!Reader
Hey there thanks for the ask!
Honestly I like that idea. Just imagine dating an existential being who just so happens to be a look-alike of you. Anyways hope you enjoy reading this.~Blaze/Dawn
Pronouns: She/Her
Warning: ❌
Requested: Yes/No
Characters: Amy + Sonic + Tails + Knuckles
Proofread: ❌
Credits: Art by Sapphire_Art_ on Twitter + Banner by narahverde (Edited By Me) on Pinterest
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- It was definitely a surprise for Amy when she first met you. She managed to stumble upon you just by chance she didn’t mean to. Seeing someone with her looks sort of at first kind of weird her out I mean if you were to see someone who just so happened to look like a demonic version of you you’d be freaked out as well, right? But at the same time she’s oddly flattered that you chose her out of everyone but still slightly weirded out. She didn’t want to get into any trouble from you so she just decided to leave you alone and prayed that you won’t do anything to bother you. Luckily for her you wouldn’t but after seeing the actual Amy who you based your form off of you couldn’t help but grew curious towards her. What was she like? Oddly enough even though you didn’t know why you wanted to get close with. So without much thought you eventually found her and decided to attempt to have a somewhat conversation with her.
- At first she was slightly panicky wondering what you were doing here but once you managed to calm her down then explained yourself about why you were here and just wanted to get to know her she managed to calm down and decide to at least hear you out. Surprisingly she actually enjoyed hanging out with you, she was interested in getting to know about your existence and powers. Now getting to know you a bit more she honestly didn’t mind that you just so happened to be a somewhat look-alike of her. She was more than happy to accept you for who you were, no matter what you were or what you do.
- After developing a friendship with you she pretty much treats you like all her other friends. She treats you with respect and is often very happy to see you come visit her. Sometimes she finds the simplest things to do just so she could have an excuse to go visit you, even if it means she’ll have to change plans with sonic and the others. In return you made a vow to protect her with your life. If you found someone being rude to her you immediately went into defense mode and personally made sure they would learn a lesson. Maybe it may cost them their life depending on how ‘kind’ you were feeling. But you made sure to keep those things away from her to not make her worried about what people say. But sometimes she does become aware of what people say about her but you reassure her that they don’t mean what they said and they are clearly idiots who don’t know what they are talking about.
- Due to yours and her close relationships she eventually developed a crush on you. With you protecting her and making sure she’s alright she couldn’t help it. But she wasn’t sure if you would accept her feelings due to the difference between the two of you. But that doesn’t mean she hasn’t expressed them mostly towards the others. Once they’ve heard her having a crush on someone else (especially sonic) they thought they were hearing things at first. Amy has a crush on someone who wasn’t sonic? Even Sonic himself was surprised but if Amy was happy then they were as well. They did try to ask her for information about you and she was more than happy to tell them. Once hearing what you looked like they just assumed that you just so happened to be a pink hedgehog just like her.
- Eventually though Amy couldn’t keep her crush for you a secret and decided to risk it and ask you to be her girlfriend to which you accepted. Making her shed a slight tear out of happiness and hugging you all giddily. She was more than happy that you accepted her feelings she never thought any would accept her feelings.
- Expect her to be really clingy towards you. I can imagine her love language being a combination of physical touch, quality time and gift giving. She’s a very affectionate person regardless if she’s with friends or a lover. She likes giving gifts to people ranging from items to food.
- She really wants you to meet her other friends Sonic, Tails and Knuckles since she’s already said so much about you to them. At first you were slightly hesitant but eventually you agreed being unable to say no to her so with your permission she gathered the other three so they could meet you.
+ As soon as she heard the three of them at her door she happily ran towards the door and opened it with a smile on her face “hey you three glad you can make it” she said “Don’t worry about it Ames we’re just really excited to meet her” Sonic slight chuckled to himself “yeah especially since for once you aren’t going after sonic” knuckles jokingly said before receiving a slightly above whisper from tails telling knuckles off before Amy waved off what knuckles had said standing to the side to let the other three in to which they did. Amy then went off to go and get you so you could meet them creating a slight tension as they asked questions between them like what your name was? What were you like? Things like that, however as soon as Amy returned with you a slight confusion yet surprised expression formed on their faces. “This is my girlfriend [Name], they’re a bit quiet so please be patient around her.” Amy said wrapping and arm around yours as you introduced yourself to the others. Honestly they were surprised when they saw you, they were somewhat surprised because you seemed to be a nearly identical look-alike of Amy but they didn’t want to say anything about it so they just gave you a smile as they introduced themselves to you.
- Out of the three of them ironically enough I can imagine you being the closest with Sonic. Since he’s pretty much used to having Amy chasing him all the time he’s now got to get used to actually being left alone by her. I like to think that due to her constant affiliation with him he knows what she likes or not so if you're struggling to figure out what to give her Sonic can tell you. You still are somewhat close to the other two but mostly sonic.
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#sonic the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog x reader#sonic series#sonic series x reader#sonic#sonic x reader#amy rose#amy rose x reader#amy the hedgehog#amy the hedgehog x reader#amy rose the hedgehog#amy rose the hedgehog x reader#sonic.exe#x reader#request
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Toying with you during sex OP Edition N/SFW
Featuring Law, Ace, Marco, Mihawk and Hongo TW: Sexual Content, Masturbation, Suggestive Language WC: 710 (not edited)
Your toes were curling tightly together as you felt his cock sliding in and out of your slippery warm cunt. His larger body towering over your frame with each thrust your breast bounced. The sound of your wet skin slapping against one another. His hands gripping the back of your thighs pressing them close to your chest. The mess you were making on his cock as he slid inside of you, pleased his sight. How much of a mess you were each you both were intimate he knew he would make you go a bit crazier with the magic of his finger. These fingers pressing against your overly sensitive clit. “Shiiii~ ahh~” you felt your hips buckle as if you were playing with your clit.
~~~~~~~~~~
Law
The doctor of death fingers was always so skilled and knew how to make you quiver with the simplest touch. Law keeps himself level-headed making sure he doesn’t cum too fast. He could feel you clenching around his cock tighter. Letting out a low growl as he clenched his jaw tightly together. You cried out his name repeatedly. Nothing more appealing than hearing you cry out his name. He didn’t stop messing with your clit as he leaned forward in a deep low voice. “Keep saying my name like that ya, when you make me cum I won’t stop playing with you.”
Ace
The little bit of warmth coming from his fingertips was a completely different sensation to your throbbing clit. The freckle face commander licked his lips as he watched you trying to compose yourself but it was becoming far too hard for you. You felt a bit embarrassed how you were yelling his name aloud knowing some of the other crew was listening to the little fuck session. Managing to place your hand around your mother as you muffled your moans displeased him. It didn’t take him long to bring your hand down from your lips. “I don’t want you quiet babe, let them hear, let them know how good I’m fucking you.”
Marco
Your juices coat his fingers as he continuously stimulates your clit to make you sensitive. Feeling his thick lips latch onto your breast he continued to suck on them leaving his own mark. Your hands gripping the blond's hair. The whimpers pour out of your mouth. The sweet melody to his ears brings his head from your breast. He slowed how his finger motion which seemed to make you way more sensitive than the motion he was doing “I can see you want to cum yoi. Cum for me~~.”
Mihawk
Mihawk's had your hands tied up above your head you couldn’t even touch the man as his fingers worked on your clit. This thumb rubs your clit in a circular motion this drove you crazy. A bead of sweat trickled from his forehead down his neck. He looked down at your swollen cunt seeing the dripping mess landing on your sheets. Mihawk being the ultra dom he is has to hear how well he is making you feel and he won't settle for a simple answer from you. He needs to hear you cry for it and beg him for more. “Tell me, Mi Amor, how much more can you handle? I don’t think your body withstand what I can fully make your experience with just a simple touch”
Hongo
You were never mentally prepared for multiple orgasms when it came to you and Hongo being intimate with one another. Just when one orgasm hit you another one was ready to come shortly after. His hair was messy a few blond strands were sticking to his face. Another Doctor that was good with his hands with a lot of experience throughout the years knew how to get you riled up. Bring his two fingers to his lips, coating them in his saliva, bringing it down to yours once more is rubbing it. Pressing ever so slightly you felt your vision becoming blurry you knew it was approaching once more. The cocky grin on his lips as he proceeds to quicken his finger motion. “You can cum all you want. I promise to take care of the mess you make right after.”
#valerie's writing#the witch of one piece#one piece#one piece x reader#marco the phoenix#one piece scenario#marco the pineapple#op marco#marco one piece#fushichou marco#marco#law one piece#fire first#trafalgar d law x reader#tragalgar law#hongo x reader#one piece hongo#dracule mihawk#mihawk x you#mihawk x readr#mihawk#one piece marco#one piece headcanons
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Still With You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Nine
Summary: Filling in Grey on everything that happened came with a rude awakening but you calm yourself down like you always do...even if it's to your detriment Pairing : Luna (reader) x Jungkook and Jimin, f2l love triangle Word Count: 5.1k~ Warnings: Explicit language and a heated discussion that talks about death and not grieving their lost love ones (idk how else to put it) a/n: Barely edited per usual 😅 Start from the beginning
Jimin goes home after I insist on making him breakfast, using it as a sort of apology for last night. He assures me he didn't mind while giving me a tentative hug goodbye and leaves before he can see my reaction.
I smile as I watch him scurry off and catch a glimpse of a rosy blush on his cheeks. That boy is way too easy to read and it's so endearing but I just hope he'll learn soon that not everyone has the purest of intentions at heart.
I finally take the time to look through my notifications after cleaning up the mess left over from breakfast and out of habit I search for a sign of life from Jungkook but come up empty handed.
I did ask him for space but I didn't realize how much I was going to miss the simplest things like a good morning text or a funny video left in my DMs.
I push past those feelings and check the notifications I do have and see a few from Grey and a message from Jin letting me know that he got home safe as well as a good morning text to check in on how I'm doing.
I reply, being completely honest with him and let him know that I'm feeling pretty down today, but leave out the events that happened after he dropped me off. I'll tell him eventually but I don't want to burden him with it or have him accidentally tell Jungkook.
We both need time to ourselves and bringing him in after I told him I need space is gonna be way too confusing for the both of us.
My uncle texts me right after I close my messages with Jin asking me if I can come in to cover someone's shift and I groan at the thought of it. It's late at night though and Grey's gonna be there so I reluctantly agree. I need to tell her everything anyways so might as well get paid to do it.
Jimin texts me later to check on me and asks if I wanted him to come over tonight. I let him know that I'm gonna be working late so I'll be fine but he jumps at the opportunity of accompanying me to work and he doesn't take no for an answer. Laughing at his antics I let him know what time I'm leaving and he says he'll wait for me outside.
I decide to take the rest of the day to clean up my apartment and get some laundry done.
Going through my room I grab my dirty clothes basket and take it over to my washer and dryer and as I'm placing the basket down on the floor next to them I hear my phone ringing in my room. I answer it but before I can even say 'Hello' I'm already being cut off.
"What crawled up Jungkook's ass and died?" classic Grey, I think to myself.
"Yeah about that..." I start but trail off.
"Luna, what did you do?" she asks in a serious tone clearly sensing that something big happened between us.
"What time do you start work tonight?" I question hoping she has time to come over beforehand since there's no way she's waiting for me to tell her tonight.
"I'm only working four hours tonight so I start at the same time you do" she says filling me in on the rest of the information my uncle left out.
"Can you come over?"
"Shit it's that bad huh?" she says before continuing with a quick "Yeah I'll be there in 15" but knowing her she'll be here in 30.
I thank her and she hangs up the phone, quickly getting ready to come over since I know the suspense is killing her.
I dig through the basket and throw my laundry in but notice that the shirt at the bottom is Jungkook's. I start thinking about the past few days we spent together and I can't help but worry about him, wanting to know how he's feeling.
Before I crack and try to reach out to him I throw the shirt in and close the lid in an effort to close off those thoughts as well. After starting the washer I send Jimin a quick text letting him know that I'll be going to work with Grey so he won't need to come pick me up. He offers to walk with the both of us but I assure him we'll be fine.
We end the conversation there and he tells me to stay safe and lets me know he'll stop by the store later to give me pepper spray. I decline but he said he already bought it and it's nonrefundable so I laugh and tell him to come around 10.
I'm pulled out of the conversation by the sound of Grey punching in the code and swinging my front door open. "What did you do?" she asks immediately, throwing away the possibility of me distracting her with small talk.
"Why do you assume I'm the one who did something?" I say as a weak defense. "Because you're always the one who did something" she says giving me a knowing look and I can't help but nod my head in agreement knowing that she's right for the most part.
"Okay but this time it wasn't like that" I say continuing to defend myself. "This is gonna take a while" she says walking over to the couch and plopping down onto her spot. "So, what happened?" she says getting tired of the momentary silence. "You know how Jungkook and I got together the other night?" she nods her head encouraging me to continue. "Well he kinda sorta told me he's in love with me".
Her jaw drops momentarily before jumping in "He told you? Why didn't he tell me he was gonna tell you? After all of these years of keeping his secret and he doesn't even tell me! That's fucked up man" she says with a look of utter betrayal.
"Wait, he told you?" I ask, completely shocked that even she had known. "Girl he didn't even have to tell me. He's been in love with you since before I met you guys. But yes, he told me like sophomore year of high school or something like that" she admits.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I question feeling slightly betrayed. "Do you tell me everything Jungkook has ever told you?" she questions crossing her arms over her chest. "Well...no" I say in defeat. "Exactly, you guys have your secrets and him and I have ours. To be fair most of ours were pretty much about you but I guess since it's not a secret anymore we don't really have any" she says with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Did you really not know?" she continues. "No! I had no clue! I mean, I always knew that we were close but I always told myself that he didn't like me like that" I admit. "Well then you're more clueless than I thought you were" she says while picking up her phone to check the time. I let out a slight groan and cross my arms over my chest, already haven beat myself up about all of this.
"Girl, that man has been following you around like a lovesick puppy ever since you guys were kids" I grow silent having a few memories flash through my mind of when he really did show that he liked me and as much as I hate to say it there have been a lot of them.
"So, what happened after that?" she prods further. "Well I sorta freaked out on him and had a panic attack" I say rubbing my neck. "You did?" she cringes gaining secondhand embarrassment and I nod my head, mortified that I have to live through it and talk about it again. I see almost a look of pity in her eyes but it's gone in a flash and is replaced with curiosity, silently waiting for me to continue.
"He got worried and told me that I didn't have to say anything, so we just stargazed for the rest of the night. We went back to his place after we were done and nothing really happened. He said something to me when he thought I was sleeping though. Something like 'I know you're hiding something from me and I wish you would let your guard down'" I relay and he nods her head, thinking about what he could possibly mean but also knowing that she's been feeling the same way.
"I hate that he can read me like that. I can never hide anything from him but I guess that just shows how well he knows me. Same with you" I finish off, poking her bicep. "Hey, it's not my fault you forced me to be friends with you" she says rubbing her arm. "Oh come on it's not that bad" I tease.
"Yeah yeah whatever, but what I wanna know is why Jungkook has gone all moody on me. I texted him because I wanted to see what happened with the whole stargazing thing and all he responded with was 'I don't know ask y/n' and I was like 'Shit you used her government name? What the fuck did she do?' and he left me on read". "He said that?" I say feeling somewhat downtrodden. "Yeah..." she says trailing off.
I take a deep breath and decide to tell her the whole story about what happened yesterday...
"So yeah we're not really on speaking terms at the moment" I end after filling her in on everything.
"Shit, that's heavy" she says under he breath, "I know. I've been over thinking this whole thing but this is Jungkook we're talking about. I don't want to lose him if things go wrong" I say feeling myself getting choked up at the thought.
"Luna you're not gonna lose him, that boy loves you way too much to let you go" she says while rubbing my back trying to reassure me. "You know everyone keeps telling me that but none of us really knows what Jungkook is gonna do except for Jungkook! It's seems like it was pretty easy for him to shut me out right away so what's stopping him from just disappearing? Grey I'm fucking terrified, and I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing" I say, reaching my breaking point.
"Oh yeah, and then on top of all of that I guess I have a fucking stalker now" I say letting out a laugh dripping in sarcasm. Grey looks at me clearly confused and all I can do is nod towards the envelope on the table.
She picks it up and gives me a questioning glance before she empties out the contents on the table. The frown on her face keeps on getting deeper and deeper with every picture she sees.
"Luna, what the fuck?" is all she says waiting for me to explain. "Yesterday when I came back home from the whole fiasco with Jungkook, this was waiting for me on my doorstep. No one was in the hall, and no one was on the street outside" I explain plainly. "Do you think one of your neighbors did it?" she questions picking up some of the pictures that she's in.
"Maybe? I don't really know though, I haven't had a chance to really process it, let alone think about who it could be" I pause for a second when she gets distracted with a picture of Jungkook and I kissing.
"I asked Jimin to come over last night" I say nervously, not knowing how she'll respond. "Jimin? You mean that kid that came into the store the other day? Don't tell me you guys-" "No! No, nothing like that" I say cutting her off.
"When I opened the envelope up for the first time I started to freak out you know, the whole nine yards. I meant to call Jungkook because he's the one who, well you know, the one who usually helps me get through it but when I went and clicked on my most recent texts I guess Jimin was close enough to Jungkook that I accidentally called him" she nod along, understanding the situation and waits for me to continue.
"I told him I called him on accident but I was already too far gone that he could tell something was wrong. He offered to come over, and I said yes. Thinking about it now, it might've not been the best decision" I admit and she cringes, a clear sign that she agrees with me.
"He knows about Jungkook now... more than I would've liked him to" I say picking up a picture of Jungkook and I from when he came over the other night. "What are you gonna do?" she asks trying to figure out where my head's at. "What can I do? My best friend is in love with me, and tells me at the same time a new guy conveniently walks into my life. Now I'm confused because I already started to like Jimin, but Jungkook and I have so much history and that's the problem. I love Jungkook, I've loved him for years but I pushed those romantic feelings to the side because I thought it was hopeless to even try. Everything is just so confusing and I keep on telling myself that and everyone that talks to me knows it's my excuse as well. I feel like the world is caving in on me and I don't know why. I have two guys who have a crush on me, big deal" I say sarcastically, letting out a shaky breath.
"It's so stupid and I don't know why I'm taking things so seriously" I let out, tired of holding it all in. "I wish everything would just stop so I could catch my fucking breath" I finish ending my rant for the moment. "I think I know why everything is hitting you harder than usual" Grey says trying to bring me back down from the fit I've worked myself into. I look at her expectantly waiting for her to continue but I wasn't prepared for what she said next.
"The anniversary just passed didn't it?" hearing it now makes me feel stupid, seeing as she found the cause for all of this pent up anxiety so quickly.
"I guess I forgot..." I lie but she won't let me gloss over it. "No for fucks sake Luna you didn't! I know you like to go around and pretend like everything is fine but you can't just forget about what happened to them. Keeping all of these things to yourself isn't going to magically make it all go away. Your parents died Luna, don't you think they at least deserve to be acknowledged?" she finishes the lecture she gives me every year and I never know how to respond.
"When was the last time you went to their grave?" she asks in a softer tone. I shake my head and wipe away the tears that are threatening to fall "I don't know" I say getting choked up. "I know you would like to think that you've moved past that part of your life and that you've healed but in all the years I've know you, you really haven't given yourself time to do anything about it" she says taking a hold of one of my hands.
"I love you, you're my best friend and I want to be there for you but there's only so much I can do. At the end of the day you're the only one that can choose to heal".I know she's right, fuck she is so right but I can't bring myself to fall apart like that. If I do...well then I don't know what'll be left of me.
I've dealt with this pain bubbling under the surface for so long, giving fake smiles and crying behind closed doors, but just enough to be able to force that fake smile again. The only ones who have ever really brought out that true smile have been Jungkook and Grey. Without them, I don't know who I would be, or if I would even be here anymore.
"I can't do it" I let out just loud enough for her to hear, tears free falling. "Why can't-" "Because I don't know how!" I say raising my voice at her. "There's too much, too fucking much that I just... I don't know how to let it all out. I feel like if I do I'll shatter into a million pieces and I'm afraid that the next time I look in the mirror, I won't recognize myself. I've been like this for so long that I don't think I could put myself back together again once I fall apart" I choke out and stop to catch my breath.
"Don't you want to let all of that go?" she tries but I can't accept that. "That's all I have left!" I yell through a sob. "That's all I have left of them, the pain, the trauma, that's all I fucking have left of them. Call me sick but holding it all in feels like I'm holding onto the broken pieces that they left behind. If I let that go... then there's nothing left" I finish trying to wipe off all the tears that were streaming down my face, only letting go for just a second like I always do.
"I have no memories from before the accident, everything is gone. All the times we spent together and the love that they gave me, it's all gone. It's been suppressed for so long that sometimes I don't even remember what they looked like" I say looking up at the ceiling and blinking back the rest of the tears before they have a chance to fall again. "I only have one picture of them here and I put it in a drawer because I can't bring myself to look at them without falling apart again".
Grey takes a moment to think and I take that chance and get up to grab us both a bottle of water from the fridge, slowing my breathing and trying to calm myself down.
"I didn't know..." she trails off, not knowing where she should take this. "No one does, not even Jungkook" I say curtly not wanting to elaborate further but she presses anyway hoping I'll let her in a little more.
"But didn't he meet you right after it happened? You guys didn't talk about it when you were kids?" she asks but I shake my head. "Jungkook wasn't like that when we were little. He knew I was hurting but he never pressed me to talk about it. I would open up to him sometimes but he knew my limits and he didn't want to push past them. Once we got older he talked to me about therapy a few times but I always brushed it off saying I was fine and that I was just feeling a little sad that day and we would drop the conversation" I explain.
"He seems pretty pushy with you though, or at least from what I've seen" she says tilting her head, confused at the explanation I've given. "He makes me open up and talk about other things sometimes but when it comes to my parents or my family in general he tends to leave it alone. I'm pretty sure he knows I need professional help to unpack all of that shit" I chuckle dryly.
"But you still don't want to go? I could go with you if you want" she offers but I shake my head, "Jungkook has said the same thing to me many, many times and I also told him no so can we just drop it, please?" I ask, taking a drink of water to break up the conversation and luckily she complies, taking a drink of her's as well.
We sit there in silence for a bit before I decide to break the built up tension thats been created between us. "Well," I say patting my thighs before standing up and clearing my throat, "why don't we get out of here? There's this new place that Jimin took me to the other night and I wanna show you!" I say quickly changing the subject.
She shakes her head at me and rolls her eyes "Yeah, but you're paying" she says, standing up and grabbing her bag to go. "Fine, but give me like ten minutes to get ready and then we'll go" I say and rush into my room to get dressed while she lets out a big sigh of annoyance and slouches back down onto the couch.
Going into the bathroom to brush my teeth I notice how bloodshot my eyes are from all the crying so I quickly open the cabinet behind the mirror and search for my eye drops, hoping they will soothe the burning sensation that had been a natural consequence of showing more emotion than I had planned to.
I blink a few times after I apply them, letting the drops settle in my eyes and wipe away the excess before brushing my teeth and washing my face hopefully getting rid of the red tint thats still splayed on my face and dry off before getting dressed for the day.
Stepping outside the building was a lot more jarring than I had anticipated, feeling the violent urge to look over my shoulder every few seconds but I do my best to shake off those feeling and focus on getting to the subway station. I try to keep a constant conversation going with Grey about her new kitten Smokey and how he's been driving her nuts to distract me from it all and for now it seems to be working.
"If I would've known how difficult it would be to take care of a kitten I would've gotten a goldfish instead" she huffs as we get off at our stop but when we start to walk towards the exit I see a figure lurking in the shadows as we pass by and my body goes stiff in response. I'm only brought back once Grey pulls on my arm to keep going, trying to get us out of the busy stairwell.
I follow her wordlessly until we get to the top of the steps and it's then when she takes in my body language. "You okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost" she says with a crooked smile. "I thought I saw someone watching us so I got a bit spooked but it was probably just my imagination" I say physically shaking off those feelings. "Come on, the cafe is just around the corner" I say now switching rolls, with me now pulling her along instead.
It's pretty easy to spot the place as it's the only one that's doused in a violet hue and I get even more giddy the closer we get.
"This place has pretty much become once of my favorite places in the city" I say proudly even though I've only been once. "Bora?" Grey says unamused, "As in Purple?" she asks and I nod my head while dragging her in, secretly hoping she'll love the place too. "Very creative" she says still criticizing the name of the establishment but I don't take it to heart. She's never the type to get excited about cute or themed anything so I'm not phased by her reaction.
Once we make it past the entryway and are greeted with the ever glowing neon lights is when her interest starts to peak. "I'm surprised it's not one of those girly fairy like cafes you've taken me to in the past" she says as she roams around on her own, checking out the interior and I smile knowing that deep down inside she's loving it.
"I'll go get us some drinks, are you hungry?" I ask and she nods and continues to make her way over to the records displayed in the far corner that I failed to notice before. Seeing as music has been a big interest of hers since before we had met I'm not surprised to already see her flipping through their collection and messing around with the record player.
Making my way over to the counter I place our order and head back to pick out a table close to where she seems to be still tinkering with the poor thing.
"You know it's probably more for show than anything else" I say teasingly and she sits down with a silent huff confirming my suspicions. "You could always ask them if they ever thought about getting a real one" I suggest but she waves off the idea.
"Too much of a bother" she says and shrugs her shoulders "They've got a pretty good sound system in here anyways so I'm sure they don't plan on it. The records they have are cool though" she says while letting her eyes wander around the rest of the place.
"Well then they must have good taste if even you like them" I say before someone joins our conversation making me jump. "I guess that would be me" a charming guy with a purple apron says as he walks over with our order. "You like Deftones?" Grey asks giving him a once over."Is that so hard to believe?" he says with a sideways smile but before Grey has a chance to open her mouth to utter something that I'm sure would come off as harsh I jump in changing the subject.
"Oh um, we didn't order those" I says glancing down at the pair of lilac macarons "It's on the house" he says giving me a smile while placing it on the table along with the rest of our order. "It's new to the menu so let me know what you think" he says giving us a shallow bow and tucking his tray under his arm before he walks back over to the counter.
"He was cute" I say to which she responds with narrowing her eyes at me, clearly meaning that she thinks the same.
"What, no insults? You usually say 'Ew he looks like a piece of gum that's been stuck to the bottom of a garbage man's shoe' or 'He looks like how the sewer smells' or the dozens of other insults you've thrown out whenever I've pointed out a guy to you" I continue with a teasing smile grabbing one of the macarons left in between us.
"This one isn't too bad though" she mumbles under her breath. "I'm sorry what was that? I couldn't hear you" I say continuing to embarrass her even more. "Shut up" she says copying me and throws the whole pastry in her mouth, her eyes widening when she takes in the flavor and lets out a groan.
"Shit these are good!" she says, clearly sad there isn't another one. "I could go order more if you'd like?" I say making moves to stand up but she grabs my hand and pulls me back down into my seat. "It's fine we've got other stuff here already. By the way, what the fuck did you order me?" she says glancing at the beverage that was placed in front of her.
Yours is called 'The Stars' and it's a lavender lemonade with a splash of butterfly pea tea and popping lychee boba. Mine is called 'Rain' and its a black cherry iced tea" I say taking a sip of my more conservative dark purple drink compared to her bright colorful one, both in stark contrast to our personalities.
"Why'd you have to get me the girly one?" she grumbles taking a sip of the purple concoction, surprised at how much she's enjoying yet another one of the menu items. "Because I knew that you would like it...even if you didn't want to admit it" I say with a sideways smile before taking a glance down at my phone seeing a message from Jin.
'What's got you feeling so blue?' he asks, hoping not to sound too pushy.
'Just Jungkook stuff. I still haven't made up my mind but I'm worried about him, he's never blown up on me like that so I feel like something else might be wrong' I send quickly before placing my phone face down and cutting the croissant I got us in half, smiling at the huckleberry filling cross section.
"They really wont let up on this purple theme huh?" Grey scoffs with a shake of her head taking half of it for herself. "I guess not" I say laughing at her clear disgust with the mystery substance but takes a bite anyways trusting my judgement.
"Well I guess it wasn't a huge chore coming here seeing as everything here tastes alright" she says, admitting that I have good taste this time around.
"Wow high praise? Looks like someone woke up on the right side of the bed today" I say never letting up on the teasing. She's always teasing me mercilessly at work so I don't feel bad poking fun at her today. Gotta take the opportunities when I can.
"I take it back you have shit taste" she says trying to fight back. "Nope what's done is done, can't back peddle now" I say playing coy and she finally accepts defeat, slouching back into her seat, her preferred state of being in almost all situations.
After finishing up Grey heads towards the exit while I place our dishes in the designated bin.
"Everything was amazing and those macarons were to die for!" I say fulfilling his request for our impressions. "I'm glad you liked them! Here take a few more for the road" he says bagging up two more.
"Oh I couldn't possibly take those! You already gave us the other ones for free" I say shaking my head no. "Well I've already boxed them up so they can't go back in the case. It would be a shame to waste them" he says and now I am on the receiving end of his coy antics.
"Well, thank you" I say as he places the small box in the palm of my hand but I quickly slip a few dollars into the tip jar before leaving with a shy smile. "Come back again soon...both of you" he says clearly telling me he's curious about Grey without telling me. "Don't worry we will" I say and wave him off before running out the door to catch up with Grey.
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