#trying to be less shy when my partner is over and offering to take pics of me but 🫣🫣🫣 hahaha it’s so hard

[blueberry-boyfriends]

Got tied up and used recently, so I’ll be posting fun pics from that to my fanzly if you wanna check it out 😘

[ramblings-of-a-depressed-gay]

Catfishing - Misleading photos and bios to trick others into meeting.

I'm sure a lot of us are suffering from boredom, during the Covid-19 lockdown. I have spent my time masturbating a little too much, videogaming a little too much and bulk watching entire seasons of tacky US reality tv. In particular, after 3 bottles of wine with my housemate, we fell into a loop of watching Catfish : The TV show.

Laying in my bed lastnight, not able to sleep, I started thinking about the few times, that I know of, that I have been catfished or mislead on dating profiles.

The weirdest by far and most recent was on Grindr. A guy sent me an opening message that was just a picture of a very impressive physique and even more impressive cock. I was horny and intrigued and asked for a face pic, as I normally do. He was hesitant at first and it triggered some red flags as he kept saying he was discreet and married but had a camper van he wanted to pick me up in, drive into some woods and fuck....Eventually, he gave in when I insisted I needed a face pic. I had no plans to go ahead with his creepy camper van plans but it became a bit of a personal mission to get a face pic. When I got one, I was even less interested in meeting. The face clearly did not match the torso of the first image he sent. It just didn't seem likely. Getting annoyed at this point, I confronted him. Again, zero intention to meet but I was pissed at the idea that I was being lied to. He agreed to send me another pic to prove it was him and sent another picture of a cock...Except it was a different cock. As beautiful as the first one but different. The first one was clearly uncircumcised - the second was not. I mean, he could have been circumcised before the second picture was taken but there was something really off about this guy and the situation. The messages came across very desperate and I just knew I was being lied to. I pointed this out to him and he sent me another picture. This time. It was my own picture. Then it all fell into place...I remember taking the picture for a specific guy who I had never met but had talked to for a while. I quickly made the point that it was my own cock and was blocked instantaneously. I still don't know whether the first guy, the one I sent the cock pic to, was the real person or the guy who sent me my own pic was but either way. I was blatantly being catfished.

Another time, was years ago. I think I was maybe 19 or 20 at the time so about 7 or so years... A naive time before I discovered Grindr and only wanted to date and fall in love not hook-up and fuck. My childhood friend and I had recently reconnected after going to different high schools and we talked about dating. Neither of us had romantic partners and we both wanted one. I told him that I was on POF (Plenty Of Fish) but wasn't really getting anywhere. Chatting to guys but no dates yet. Me and my friend, Xander (not his real name but close), stayed in touch and met regularly from this point. I don't remember exactly how long it was after this reunion but it wasn't long - I started talking to a lad on my POF profile. He messaged me first and was exactly my type. I was young and optimistic and after a few weeks of talking to him, I felt like I was in love. He seemed to really get me as a person. He was handsome and cultured and always made a point of messaging me back. We talked for weeks and weeks but the subject of meeting up was never broached. Eventually, I took the plunge and asked him. He was evasive about it at first but agreed that we should, at some point. I had seen enough pics of him to believe wholeheartedly that he was real. One night, we were both horny and we even sexted and sent private pictures of ourselves. The pics he sent back matched the pics of his face and tattoos on his torso, so I had no doubts that it was really him. But he still wouldn't agree to meet. Eventually, I lost interest and we stopped talking. I hadn't seen Xander for a while, as he had moved to Liverpool with work. About a year later, I got a message on POF from the guy who I had been speaking to. We swapped BBM pins and he agreed to meet me and asked when I was free. I jumped at the chance and we planned to meet the following weekend. We planned a coffee at Costa and a walk round the local park. Saturday came and I dressed and re-dressed probably about 20 times out of sheer nervousness that I was getting to finally meet this guy. I went into the town centre and walked into the costa early. I was pleasantly surprised to see my mate Xander working at one of the tables with his laptop. He seemed surprised to see me and I sat with him while we waited. My date hadn't shown up an hour later and hadn't had any responses to my messages and so I took it that I had been stood up. I needed a drink and Xander agreed to come with me for some food and a pint. At some point, I went to the loo and I finally got a message back telling me that something had come up and he was sorry. His message said he also had something to tell me. It turns out....Xander had been this lad all along. He said he had been thinking to come out as bi-sexual to his family, for some time and wanted me to know before he did but didn't know how to tell me. He said he had made the profile to ask for advice because he was too shy to ask. He said he had always had a crush on me but felt like I would never be interested. I felt betrayed and I couldn't see why he would do this to me and so I left the bar without saying goodbye. I paid the tab and left. Some years later, me and Xander became very close, for a about a year (before he fucked me over again. I'll save that for a future post) but it took quite some time to get over the betrayal. He never did tell me whose pictures he had been using or how he got the nudes.....

The third time I can recall, wasn't a massive catfish scenario but his motives scare me, when I think about it. Again, I was on POF and I was messaging a guy from Leeds. He was attractive and seemed genuine and within hours we had planned a date for the next day. Sean (real name, as far as I know) turned up and was a lot older than he said he was and clearly used pictures that were a few years old. He apologised for misleading me and plied me with drinks to make up for the fact that he hadn't been honest. The date didn't last too long though, he got arsey with me for not wanting to go to his hotel room and have sex with him. He even offered to buy me an iphone or a laptop if I agreed to let him snort cocaine of my hard dick. I decided it was best to leave when he told me that he had picked me over another lad that he was messaging at the same time as me and I should be grateful for all the drinks he bought.....Needless to say, I never spoke to him again.

It does make me wonder....All the other guys I have spoken to over the years who I never met....Where they genuine or was I being catfished. Why do people do it? I don't think it's right but at least I can kind of wrap my head around why somebody would use older pics of themselves to almost lure somebody in but can they really expect somebody to be okay with being okay with this when their lies are exposed? Should we be more careful who we send our intimate pictures to as they could be used to complete this fake identity that somebody else has created using your pictures? How common is catfishing and what exactly constitutes as being a catfish or catfishing somebody? Is using an older picture of yourself just as bad as using somebody else's pictures to try and entice somebody to meet and ultimatelybinto bed? In some way, is it your own fault if you fall for a catfish's lies and should you be more cautious about who you are talking to?

I would love to hear the catfish experiences of others and hear how this affected them and how they have learnt from the experience(s).

[hurghhhh]

Stardom and Romance

A/N: After hours of browsing the works of others, I’ve decided to try my own at writing a quackson imagine. No summary. because my aim is to see if I can create a story instead of directly telling it. Tom x f!reader, but it’ll take a while for it to actually become obvious. Please give it a chance and send me feedback! Thanks!

“Look man, it’s a school night, and I’d prefer to get back home earlier today. Can’t we just have a little verbal spat and be on our ways?”

Your mask covered your face, so the man in front of you couldn’t see your scowl. “I’ve spent almost two years looking for you, so I really don’t give a damn if it’s a school night, Spider-man.”

The red and blue masked man let out a sigh. “Well, we better figure out some way to make this quick.”

With a snarl, you leapt forward, “Trust me, I don’t plan on making your death quick.”

“Cut!”

You stumbled to a halt, blinking as the microphone near your face was whisked away and the street suddenly erupted in a flurry of voices. Jon sat in his director's chair a few feet to your right, his face arranged in a thoughtful scowl as he watched the playback from one of the cameras.

“Think this might be the perfect shot. Good job, guys!” he yelled while flashing you a thumbs up.

A chuckle erupted next to you, followed by a “Cool! Nice work, (Y/N)!”

With a rueful grin you raised your hand to recuperate the high-five. “Same to you, Tom.”

Tom Holland’s face was covered by his Spider-man mask, but you knew he was also wearing a grin. You both took off your masks, and chuckled at the sight. His hair was a tousled mess, and you were pretty sure you looked the same.

“Alright, I believe that’s a wrap for today! Let’s start cleaning up, and we can call it a day!” Jon yelled. With a nod of acknowledgement, you shuffled into a trailer to change.

Fifteen minutes later, your suit now hung neatly along your other costumes, you jogged over to where Tom and Zendaya was waiting. You were now wearing a pair of athletic shorts with a hoodie, while they sported t-shirts and sweats. Zendaya pulled you into a side hug which you gladly recuperated, giggling into her shirt.

“Gotta’ say, (Y/N), you looked pretty hot on camera,” the actress remarked.

You jammed your hands into the hoodie pockets. “I needa’ look my best if I want to be your competing love interest, Z. Shame my efforts have to be wasted on lil’ Peter Parker, though.”

“Excuse me!” Tom complained, “I think most girls would love to be in a relationship with Spiderman!”

With a chuckle, you moved to tackle the guy in a hug. “To be honest though, I feel a lot hotter when I’m in villain mode instead of lovesick high schooler mode.”

Tom recuperated the hug with a ruffling of your hair. “Make sure you don’t let the reporters hear that. Gotta’ keep the secret of the movie, huh?”

“Dude, if anybody’s gonna’ spill my secret, it would be you, bigmouth,” you teased.

“Speaking of reporters….” Zendaya pointed to the right, where your manager was quickly hustling over, “Something tells me she’s gonna’ ask if you could do a last minute interview.”

“It’s almost midnight, man! Can’t I get a break?” You complained. Your limbs were already heavy with exhaustion and you wanted nothing more than to crawl into your hotel room to sleep.

“Hey, guys,” your manager approached you, an apologetic look on her face, “(Y/N), Tom, Hollywood TV want an interview with you both. I told them yes, but only if you two are feeling up for it. Tom, your manager said the same thing, too.”

You exchanged looks with your costar and achieved a mutual decision. “We’ll do it, Jane. Just give us a few minutes.”

“They’re at the East Gate whenever you’re ready. I’ll be there, too.” Jane offered another sympathetic smile before hurrying away to her next task.

“Jane’s a good manager,” Zendaya noted while you disentangled yourself from Tom’s arms to stretch.

“She looks out for me,” you agreed, “What else would you expect from a family friend?”

“We better get going. Don’t want to keep them waiting too long,” Tom murmured while gazing around the set

Zendaya let out a yawn. “Have fun, you two. I’m gonna’ see if there’s anything to help with and then head back with Haz and the others. Meet you guys at the hotel.”

As the actress walked away, you couldn’t help but slump with exhaustion. Tom slung an arm around your shoulders and you gladly leaned towards him for support.

“Let’s get this over with, and we can celebrate back at the hotel with some tea,” he said lightly.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Only if it comes with sugar.”

.

.

“Now of course everybody’s familiar with the friendly neighborhood Spider-man Peter Parker, AKA Tom Holland, but (Y/N), your character is certainly new. Care to give a little insight?

You smiled. “Of course! So my character, Katie, is this new girl that transfers to Midtown during senior year, which is already just a bit sketchy. She’s more of the quiet, shy type and it’s obvious that she doesn’t really want to talk to anybody, but she ends up partnering Peter in chemistry class and develops a huge crush on him. Safe to say that she’s not exactly fond of MJ.”

“I would think not,” the interviewer, a petite young woman, agreed with a chuckle, “Any word on how big of a role she plays in the plot?”

You inwardly smiled at the warning look Jane was giving you from behind the camera. “Guess you’ll just have to watch the movie to find out!”

“Of course, of course,” the interviewer laughed, though you noticed just the smallest trace of frustration on her face, “And to Tom now. What’s it like to be playing this guy who’s caught in a sort of love triangle?”

“To be honest, I’m a little jealous of all the attention Peter’s getting!” Tom joked, and you playfully swatted his shoulder, “But this is definitely something new for Peter, since he’s always seen himself as kind of the loser at high school. It already took him more than a year to figure out his relationship with Michelle, and now he has his new girl to deal with, and pretty honestly, with his whole Spider-man gig and his lack of actual experience, he’s just really oblivious to the tension in the situation.”

“Last question,” the interviewer announced, “Even if Tom and Zendaya are the leading couple of the movie, the few set pics we’ve seen show that in particular, you two have an awfully close relationship. Anything to confirm or deny?”

Tom chuckled, though your experience as his close friend detected the annoyance under his smile. “She’s the sister I never had.”

“And the brother I never asked for,” you finished, “But appreciate all the same. Seriously though, just really good friends. Nothing more, nothing less.”

The interviewer nodded, obviously unconvinced, and turned back to the camera. “So there you have it guys! Spiderman: Graduation coming to theaters near you on August 17th! Make sure to check it out!”

You flashed another cheeky smile at the camera, while at your side, Tom did a classic Spider-man pose. After holding the position for a few seconds, the cameraman gave a small thumbs up, and you both immediately relaxed. The interviewer hurried forward to shake your hand.

“Thank you again for agreeing to this interview, especially when you’re still in the middle of filming!” she gushed, before moving to grab Tom’s hand and enthusiastically shake it as well.

Tom laughed. “No problem! Anything’s cool as long as (Y/N)’s here to make sure I behave.”

“More like make sure you don’t spoil anything or let out a few curse words,” you teased. Tom rubbed the back of his head, a sheepish grin on his face, while the interview giggled. “I should let you guys get some rest,” she said, “Thanks again!”

Fifteen minutes later, you and Tom finally walked away, free from the lapel mics and cameras and managers. “So...ten bucks the interviewer has a crush on you?” you asked, your eyebrows raised.

“Ehh...Doubt it,” Tom replied, his eyebrows scrunched in thought, “She’s too busy being obsessed with what our ‘relationship status’ is.”

“That’s like the hundredth time somebody’s asked us that.”

“And it gets more and more annoying every time.”

You gave him a sympathetic smile. “You’re an A-list movie star. Girls all over the world are dying to know if you’re single or not.”

Tom made a face. “It’s sweet that people care and all, but it’s my business if I want to date somebody, isn’t it?”

“You’ve been in this business way longer than I have and you’re still clueless?” You nudged his side. “We’re actors. Our lives are out for the world to see.”

With a sigh, Tom slung an arm over your shoulder. “At least I have good company through it all.”

You grinned ruefully. So much had changed in the past five years, and you couldn’t have been more grateful for the friends you had at your side. “Ditto.”

A/N: Please say that you were able to discern some plot points from the vagueness of this. Thx for making it here!

[nothingbutthefix]

Teaser

Authors Note: I’m testing the waters on my hand at fan fiction. This is only a little of what I have written. If I see there is an interest, I’ll post more. Otherwise, I probably will keep it for personal stock. Feel free to let me know of any errors I might have over looked.

Warnings: This piece contains strong language as well as reference to adultery, implied drug use and male/male preference.

Tags: Erwin, Eren, Levi, AoTAU

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of AoT. This is a work of fantasy and in no way mirrors the thoughts or beliefs of AoT. Reader discretion is advised.

Eren stared up at the daunting, slate grey building from under his umbrella while rain drizzled down from the sky. His lips puckered like he had just sucked a lemon. He was aware that this was just a formality to appease his new employer but it still made his stomach feel like rot. No matter how little he had in the way of sexual history, testing for STI’s was no joking matter.

Eventually, he got his feet to move up to and through the sliding glass doors. Immediately his nose was assaulted by the scent of antiseptic and he had to squint as the too-bright over head lights that bounced off the sterile white walls. The receptionist hadn’t looked up from her computer as Eren approached. Her nameplate said Annie.

“Hi, I’m-,” he started but her ice blue eyes looking up silenced him. They were narrowed and Eren felt a little naked under their gaze.

“Eren Jaeger? Yes, you’re the only one who would schedule an appointment last minute on a Friday afternoon, you’re lucky the attending Physician is a workaholic, otherwise the clinic would have been closed two hours ago leaving some of us a little bit more of a weekend,” she spoke quickly and with a cold undertone.

“I’m sorry?” Eren ventured, taken aback by her chilled nature but she merely shrugged and handed him a clipboard by her computer.

“Fill that out completely, if you have any questions feel free to ask,” she replied but her face told him that he should keep his mouth shut.

He quickly took care of the paperwork and before he knew it an exuberant looking brunette bounced into the reception area.

“Eren?” She requested, glancing around at the emptied waiting room, eyes zeroing in on the only other occupant beside the pissy receptionist.

Eren swallowed and stood. His knees almost gave out, the weight of his nerves finally catching up to him.

“Hi Eren,” the brunette started cheerfully, standing to the side so they could walk down the hall together, “I’m nurse Hange and I’ll be doing the preliminary exam before Dr. Smith sees you.”

“O-ok, um, will I have to…uh,” he made a vague gesture at himself and Hange laughed at his coyness.

“For a boy requesting the works I’m surprised you’re so shy,” she teased and Eren couldn’t find any way to respond other than to shrug helplessly.

Suddenly the nurse became serious as she showed him into the exam room. There were posters reminding patients to wash their hands and diagrams of the male reproductive system as well as a small replica of what the female uterus looked like. Eren cocked an eyebrow at it as Hange instructed him to sit on the crate paper covered bench.

“Ok, so let’s get your vitals and see what we are working with,” she muttered as she burrowed through a cabinet hanging above a small sanitary station, “Woah, woah, woah! What are you doing?” she exclaimed as Eren stood and began removing his jeans.

“I thought you wanted to see what you were working with,” Eren started, his face turning red as he really thought through what she had said, “ Oh god, I’m sorry.”

Quickly he redid his fly, sitting down hard and burying his flushed face in his hands. It was deadly silent after that before Hange burst out in laughter.

“Sorry about that,” she said wiping her eyes, “I definitely was a little vague just then.”

“I-…it’s ok,” Eren finally managed, forcing out a chuckle. The situation was rather comical and he was sure he’d laugh more genuinely…someday.

“Well anyways, stick out your arm and open your mouth,” Hange smiled.

 Hange left with a cheery, “Dr. Smith will be right in!” after having gone through the ringer with him, to include him having to pee into a cup.

He stared at his ring finger where a hello kitty bandage was placed. The prick on his finger was for an HIV test. The testing was far better than when he was younger and just starting out. But it had been five years since he was 15, visiting a local planned parenthood.

His quiet contemplation about how much had changed was interrupted by a soft rap on the door. Starting slightly he looked up as the doctor entered the room. Eren had to swallow hard to keep his mouth from dropping open.

The doctor was mid-thirties, dirty blonde and had a jaw line that could cut steel. His eyes were the most striking ocean blue behind a pair of sleek glasses. Eren could drown in eyes like that. They crinkled a little around the corners as the doctor smiled kindly at him.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Smith,” he started, holding out a slightly calloused hand. Eren regarded it with confusion before his senses came back to him and the voice in his head screamed, “What are you doing idiot?! Shake it!”

“Oh-uh, I’m Eren Jager,” the young brunette managed to sputter as he gripped the doctors hand. His flesh was softer than it looked and warm like spring sunshine.

Good god, did he just compare the doctor’s body temperature to a season? He had to snap out of it. Sure the guy was extremely attractive and his voice was like honey but if Eren followed those thoughts any further another awkward situation might ‘pop’ up.

“So, nurse Hange says you want to update your sexual history, as it were,” he smiled again, trying to put Eren at ease as he took a seat on the rolling stool Hange had previously occupied. Eren nodded gazing at the doctor and really taking a look at him.

Though he was smiling, his eyes were pained, his rather prominent eyebrows slightly furrowed. Oh no, was something on his chart bad?

“Yes,” Eren said firmly even though his hands began to shake. He gripped his thighs tightly to stop, hoping Dr. Smith had yet to notice.

“Okay,” Dr. Smith nodded as he looked back to the chart, his face becoming blank as he examined it. Eren felt bile rise to the back of his throat, he couldn’t do this and he didn’t want to know.

He was about to bolt from the door when the doctor sighed quietly and smiled up at him.

“Well, the HIV test came back negative and as for the urine test, the results should be back by Monday, however, seeing that you’re asymptomatic and that you haven’t had much in the way of sexual partners, you should have nothing to worry about,” Dr. Smith stated as he stood, walking over to the sanitary station to rummage through the drawers much like Hange had done before him.

Eren felt himself sag in relief.

“However, unless you are in a serious relationship where both you and your partner have been tested, I would recommend always using a condom and dental dam,” Smith continued as he pulled out a few packages of the aforementioned items and handed them to Eren.

Eren felt himself start to get a little heated as he nodded and took what the doctor was offering, his fingers brushing Smith’s wrist as he did. The young man felt a small jolt of electricity that seemed to go straight to his dick as his eyes met the doctor’s.

Dr. Smith held his gaze for a few seconds before clearing his throat, his pale cheeks turning a soft pink. Eren stammered his thanks as he hastily stuffed the condoms in his jean pockets.

“So, unless you have any other questions for me, you’re free to go,” the older man murmured, seeming a little shaken himself as he handed Eren his test results. Eren made no comment and opted to shake his head. He was afraid of what would come out now if he opened his mouth. Besides, he had to get his results back to his boss.

 Levi made a grunt of disapproval as he looked at his watch. His model was 20 minutes late. Figures, we should have never looked at strip clubs, always stick to the burlesque that Pixis owned, always. At least the old man had common business sense as well as an eye for aspiring talent, male or female. Just like Levi, or so the raven haired photographer had thought.

He had been banking on this girl to show, it was a part of his Midnight collection which was set to premiere in less than a month and his inspiration had run dry. The girl in question had a nice gothic vibe to her which he was hoping would cultivate some creativity. Her pale skin and gaunt eyes must’ve been from something other than lack of sun light however…

“Tch,” Levi made another noise as he turned and went into a nearby coffee shop. At least a tea for the road might not have made this a complete waste of a Friday afternoon.

Patiently, he stood in line, his camera slung over his waist. He got a few glances and frowns of annoyance. People must have thought he was one of those hipster bloggers that ordered the most complicated drink just to snap a few pics then toss the concoction in the trash after a sip or two. He didn’t care too much however as he approached the counter as a young man was finishing up.

Levi was set to brush past this stranger until he turned to scan for a place to sit and they locked eyes. Granted, the young man was taller than Levi but that wasn’t saying much as most people, even teenagers, were taller than him. However, his piercing green eyes gave Levi pause from moving on. Then there was the rest of his face.

“E-excuse me,” the young man’s voice was slightly lower than Levi was expecting but they had that in common. His cheeks colored red when Levi did nothing but cock an eyebrow and offer one of his seductive smiles. Even if the young man wasn’t gay (but Levi was absolutely sure he was) he was definitely affected by the alpha male vibe the photographer gave out, he could see it in the widening of the young man’s pupils.

“You’re excused,” Levi finally said, his voice barely above a low murmur but the young man stiffened as his body almost gave way to an involuntary shudder.

Levi tried not to chuckle as the brunette retreated to the pick-up side of the counter, allowing Levi to order from the young woman who had been waiting during the entire exchange. Levi asked for whatever tea they had that was strongest while he watched the young man’s backside as he fled. He had a nice ass, Levi would give him that,

           “Eren?” the barista asked loudly causing the young man to wince as he indicated he was standing not three feet away. Levi did chuckle then, getting Eren’s attention. The brunette stuck his lip out in a slight pout before taking his coffee and heading out the door.

           Levi cleared his throat and looked down, slightly ashamed of himself, which he rarely felt. He hadn’t meant to embarrass the kid.

           “Levi?” the barista practically barked and Levi baulked slightly. Jeez, this guy vastly overestimated the noise level in there.

             Erwin scrubbed his face with a sigh before checking the time. 6:30pm. He knew he should head home, Annie and Hange went home hours ago but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. That entire apartment reminded him of how empty his life now was.

           Sure, he was the one who kicked Rob out after catching him fucking their maid but every time he thought about it he wondered what he had done to drive his ex to that. Did he work too much? Did he not treat Rob well enough when he was home? His thoughts were starting to turn toxic when his cell phone vibrated harshly against the desk.

           “Hey Levi,” he answered without looking at the caller ID. Only one person ever bothered to call him instead of text.

           “You sound like you’re about to kick a chair out from under you and end it all, you know that?”

           “Someone must’ve gotten laid, you’re much more brash than normal,” Erwin bantered back as he leaned back in his chair, his spine cracking softly, He winced and made a mental note to keep better posture when he was slaving away over patient charts.

           “Nah, I actually got stood up and need to find a new model as soon as possible,” Levi replied, sounded disinterested but Erwin could hear the under tone of annoyance.

           “Stripper end up not being your golden goose?” the doctor questioned, logging out and shutting down his computer.

           “Big shocker, right? I’m going to go back to The Steel Rose tonight, Pixis always employs the cream of the crop,” the photographer replied and Erwin could hear the jingle of keys in the background.

           “I take it I’m coming with,” there was no question there, really. The only time Levi drove was when he had someone to drive him back when he had one too many.

           “You got anything better to do?” the raven haired man asked before unceremoniously hanging up.

           Erwin sighed as he pocketed his phone. With one last glance around his office he hung up his lab coat, rolled up his sleeves and ventured out, making sure everything as locked up tight. Levi was correct, he had nothing better to do except wallow in misery. At least now, he’d have company.

[em44owls]

Joshler Fic

I Think I Lost My Halo- “When the boys end up lab partners at the start of last semester, Tyler finds a new good little Christian boy to lead astray, and Josh finds new reasons to feel guilty. But if it's so wrong, then how can being with Tyler feel so right?” (96041 words) 18/18

Isle of Flightless Birds- “It wasn't a soulbond. It couldn't be. Because they hadn't met. But this boy in Josh's dreams with the hazel eyes almost black with fear felt more real than the chair Josh was sitting on. And the pain in his wrist felt as if there should be healing lines. And the emotions washing over him didn't always fit. (75837 words) 15/15

My Treehouse Is On Fire- “Tyler's apartment complex gets evacuated at 3am because of a fire and he ends up talking to some pink haired guy wearing a hoodie and boxers.” (61372 words) 43/43

Million dollar man- “josh just needs a good story to keep his less than thriving journalist job, and tyler probably has enough dirty laundry to break the news.” (56278 words)

We're Young, We're Dumb, and We Don't Care- “In which Tyler leaves home for his reasons, and meets Josh who left school for his own” (49099 words) 48/48

Tyler and Josh vs. The World.- “An angel and a devil in a suburban Ohio high school. What could go wrong?” (48748 words) 58/58

falling for you, literally, three times- "I don't wanna be responsible for getting you into trouble." "Ah, I have a feeling you'll be doing a lot of that, Tyler Joseph." Tyler moves to London and finds himself falling for Josh, quite literally, and Josh wonders whether the shy new kid is exactly what he's been waiting for.” (43130 words) 17/17

Still high with a little feeling- “Josh offers Tyler to be his pet in the mafia, not knowing it’ll lead to something different.” (40658 words) 12/12

Innocent High- “Josh Dun, a Sex ED teacher at Columbus High, is receiving letters everyday from an unknown source. The letters are rather...sexual.” (39961 words) 51/51

Josh hates his job.- “It's not that he doesn't like helping omega's in need or that he can't manage the tasks, it's just that it's hard to watch them go when they don't need him anymore. He wants an omega that stays.” (33861 words) 14/14

every little thing is gonna be alright- “Josh is kinda stoned, Tyler is kinda broken, and this is the start of something kinda beautiful. (the chapters are all connected drabbles and are out of order. the chapters are numbered in the title in the order they should be read in! sorry for any confusion)” (31890 words) 15/15 

Take Care of You- “Business trips hardly feel like trips at all when you hardly leave your hotel room. Tyler hadn't planned on seeking company, but it seemed like making a friend for the week would be the most convenient thing, even if he was a little pricey.” (31180 words) 5/5

I Will Make You Believe You Are Lovely- “It's Josh's 18th birthday and he's finally going to receive his Soul Mark and find out who his Soul Mate is.” (30230 words) 13/13 

Entertain Mit’s always sunny in ohio- “Uh, my date—my date is, uh.” Tyler stutters, feeling his cheeks flush. “Spill, Tyler.” Maddy leans forward, her elbows resting on the table.“Josh,” Tyler blurts out. (26781 words)

~long way down- “a knock at the door leads to more than what Tyler was expecting, and it ends up being the one thing that saves him.”  (26013 words)

Let Me Take Care of You- “Josh is the Tyler is his boyfriend. Some of his teammates don't like that.It's almost exactly as high school as it sounds” (21140 words)

Into The Wild- “Two boys from two completely different worlds collide and things get interesting. Trust is shared. Feelings develop. And none of them suspects what the future brings.” (21734 words) 5/5

Safe- “Tyler is one step away from losing hope. Josh happens.” (21504 words) 

I'm trying to sleep- “Tyler is abused by his dad and bullied at school, until Josh comes along and gives him the love he always needed.” (21381 words) 22/22

I Don't Wanna Fall Away- “Lately, Josh has been having these weird, inappropriate thoughts about his best friend. He doesn't know how long he can fight them, but he doesn't want to risk their friendship either.” (21313 words) 14/14

Blue neighborhood- “brown eyes with colored hair covered in tattoos and piercings makes Tyler forget the differences between wrong and right.” (20903 words)

Wild Geese- “No offense,” Josh replied, unfolding his arms. “But the straightest thing about me is my middle finger.” In which the summer before college becomes the summer of Tyler, and Josh learns how to care.” (20598 words)

Her name is Tyler- “Josh didn’t typically pick up other guys in a bar and take them home but then again he also didn’t see many guys wearing a soft pink skirt.” (20147 words)

you belong to me (you must obey me)- ”hating someone more than Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun hate each other is not possible. but what are those strange feelings they get?” (19435 words) 16/16

Fanfic reading- “One, Josh has a secret: he's obsessed with reading Joshler fanfiction. And not the PG stuff either.” (19247 words) 2 works

Caught in the Act- “Tyler and Josh are best friends. Tyler and Jenna are happily married. But all hell breaks loose when Tyler finds them in bed together.” (18909 words) milk and honey- “Tyler doesn't like to be touched. Josh shows him he can touch him without using skin.” (17938 words) It's as good as I can be (This is all that I can be)- “Tyler struggles with the meaning of being religious as well as his developing sexuality” (16575 words) Bro.- “Tyler moves to Los Angeles, where he discovers his next door neighbor has gone from punk to hunk, and oh nooooo he's falling for him.” (15828 words) When You Really Gotta Go- “Just some really great Joshler omorashi” (15960 words) 10/10 Don't Leave (When Winter Comes)- “Josh and Tyler live in an unfamiliar city, far away and disconnected from the local culture and the homes they once knew. Tyler performs in grimy, alternative bars, and Josh idolizes him. They get involved, but Tyler seems hell-bent on destroying himself and everything in his path. Josh is really earnest and tries to hold on for the ride.” (15788 words) 7/7 Mustard- “The one where Tyler sits on street corners and plays his ukulele for money and Josh hates his life.” (14828 words)

He’s Got The Midas Touch- “So Josh, do you know why I called you in here?” Tyler starts.Josh closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before replying, “because I accidentally sent you a dick pic?”Tyler looks visibly surprised, he stops pouring his glass of wine when he sees the nervous look on Josh's face. “Accidentally?” (8838 words) 2/2

Screen- “Tyler is a camboy and Josh is an awkward young man.” (6432 words)

Cold Mocha- “Josh finally agrees to fuck Tyler.” (5712 words)

got caught under the covers- “Or, 5 Times Tyler and Josh Got Caught, and 1 Time They Didn't.” (5195 words)

get down on your knees and tell me you love me- “Tyler gets a new job as an assistant at a huge publishing company, and he doesn't make a good first impression on the boss' son.” (4570 words)

Fluffer- “Originally, Tyler applied as a camera assistant.” (4193 words)

everytime you come around (i feel like glitter)- "I accidentally grabbed your notebook and i found a crap ton of gay writings/doodles and they're amazing. Wait, are those combinations of our names all over the pages?" (4137 words) 2/2

Liquor- “Tyler likes instructions, Josh needs them.” (3857 words)

a little taste of heaven- "Can I touch you?" came the question. Tyler sighed, the sound turning into a sweet whimper. He nodded affirmatively, letting go of his own cock and placing his hand on the pillow instead, giving Josh better access” (3533 words)

Snowed In- “No power, no heat, no clothes, no problem.” (3490 words)

 Entertain Me (under lips)- “After three years, Tyler knew subtlety was dead. So when Josh poked Tyler's thigh and said, “I'm horny.” (2769 words)

Perfect Symmetry- “Josh likes his drums, but he also likes Tyler’s hips.” (2648 words)

Cedar Point- High School AU, Smut (2606 words)

A Milano- “After all the running he's done today, Josh is eager to get back to his tent for some alone time. Good thing Tyler's only a phone call away.” (2397 words)

get naked (i got a plan)- “Meeting fans after shows is great and everything, but sometimes you just need some private time with your boyfriend first.” (2005 words)

lights low, mouth open- “josh is a slob when it comes to the theater and tyler is just trying to do his job.” (1978 words) 

Variety- “prompt: "dom tyler with shy josh and dirty talk !!" (1846 words)

scarlet harlot [because you’re mine]- “He doesn't want to admit it, but this whole situation is slightly hot: Him bent over a sink, Tyler tugging his hair.... In which Tyler dyes Josh's hair and also gives him an orgasm.” (1810 words)

It’s not what it looks like- “Tyler underestimates the time Josh is supposed to be home at.” (1776 words)

Use me until ever little piece is gone- “Tyler is willing and adores being used for Josh's pleasure Josh is dominant and adores how Tyler lets him fulfil his darkest fantasies” (1761 words)

yellow- “has anyone ever told you that you’re beautiful?”- Josh  “n-no.”-Tyler “you’re absolutely beautiful.”-Josh (1695 words)  

100 kinks.- “100 kink challenges". they start off cute and fluffy and gets more kinky as i go.” (14688 words) 6/? 

Indecent- “Tyler loses his virginity on his birthday in the back of a pickup truck.” (1453 words) 

somber- “Come here and kiss me some more.” Tyler says then, and it takes Josh by surprise, going over the sentence in his head, trying to figure out if it’s a simple joke between friends or not.” (1433 words)

room with a view- “They really didn't mean to put on a show like this.” (1399 words) (a series)

the best things happen at the worst of times, tyler thinks- “tyler Loved jenna. it took him too long to realize he loved josh more.” (1321 words)

angel- “tyler is a 50 year old ghost who haunts joshua's house, but is an absolute adorable lil' peach that joshua adores, but pouts when the brunet catches him doing something embarrassing.” (1183 words)

sweet- “ty and j turn into soft pants and delicate groans after a show.” (1102 words)

Dare me- “Tyler choked on a sip of his drink. Did he hear that right? Did Josh really say that?” (1181 words)

Fuck Fake Friends- “Fuck fake friends, we don’t need them, the only thing they’re good for is leaving.” (1136 words)

grinding Together with occasional Touch of  enamel- “Some pure Tyler and Josh being Tyler and Josh” {sex, masturbation, and smut} (1013 words)

It’s our hearts that make the (dubstep) beat.- “Tyler likes to play games and make challenges. Josh has only one rule when it comes to music during sex. Tyler is a little shit.” (982 words)

Caught in the shower- “Where Josh thinks dirty thoughts about his best friend in the shower and Tyler catches him.” (683 words)

Frozen Still- “Josh's lips tasted like champagne and new (670 words)

Pretty Sounds (Stick Around)- “You know what I want to do today?" (622 words)

Wendy’s- “Josh is popular but doesn’t realise it. Tyler’s always new.” (439 words) 

Frottage- fics with frottage in it

Already Read...//

(Part 1) Almost - “Five times Tyler almost told Josh he loved him and the one time Josh told him.” (2702 words)

(Part 2) Angry - “Five times Tyler gets angry with Josh and the one time Josh gets angry with Tyler.” (1510 words)

(Part 5) Care - “Five times Josh falls asleep and the one time Tyler almost does too.” (2111 words)

Nobody looks up anymore - “ Tyler staring up at the sky. Josh comes up to see if there way anything wrong.” (1302 words)

Friction - “Tyler needs something that Jenna can’t offer up and they turn to Josh for some help. Aka Josh is a-o-k with tying Tyler up and fucking him” (3418 words)

And Then There Was Pink- “Josh finds himself in Tyler’s flower shop and Tyler finds himself seeing color.” (6581 words)

1. Kissing - “Tyler has the sweetest and fullest lips Josh has ever seen, and he loves taking complete advantage of that.” (175 words)

Detention- “Josh and Tyler get trapped alone together inside their schools building when a vicious snow storm hits their town.” (5528 words)  

He’s Got The Midas Touch- “So Josh, do you know why I called you in here?” Tyler starts.Josh closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before replying, “because I accidentally sent you a dick pic?”Tyler looks visibly surprised, he stops pouring his glass of wine when he sees the nervous look on Josh's face. “Accidentally?” (6021 words)  

i get around- “Josh really hates parties.” (1882 words)

Million Dollar House- “Tyler loved to paint, and Josh's body was the perfect canvas.” (1395 words)  

Careful What You Wish For- “What’s more awkward than having front row tickets to your friends having sex?” (2233 words)  

The one with no electricity- “The electric goes off in Josh's and Tyler's apartment and Tyler is scared of the dark...” (1054 words)

Truth Hurts (Literally)- “Tyler drinks this weird foreign liquid and now he can't keep his big fat mouth shut.” (3361 words)  

Doritos - “Tyler picked up his packet of Taco Doritos before walking out into the living room and sighing when he saw Josh, who was sitting on his phone once again.” (589 words)      

14. Sex toys- “Ty...deeper...please..." His rasp is without pain but sweetly desperate.” (403 words)

24. Rimming - “Tyler holds to his chest like he’s forgotten what air is and whispers the sweetest blasphemies as Josh pays worship to his body.” (464 words)

94. Giggly sex- "Babe, we're already boyfriends. You don't have to pick me up. I'm yours!" (344 words)

Cheat - ”one finds the other one cheating.” (608 words)      

Mentors- Josh mentored Tyler and they like date and Tyler leaves his house because of his fucked up family. Oh and Josh was like dating Debby in the beginning woo (sarcasm)  (43659 words) 36/36

30 Day Smut Challenge (Joshler)- 30 days of smut basically. (36663 words) 29/30 

Brat- “Tyler is feeling ignored by Josh, so when they go to a bar Tyler kisses Brendon so Josh’ll see and punish him.” (706 words)

Hopeless | Joshler- “one where josh finds a boy in the school bathroom and knows he as no other option” (759 words)

Baby Boy- “Tyler has a diaper fetish.” (330 words)

Truce- “In the future, anyone can apply for assisted suicide. Josh works helping people end their lives in a peaceful, painless way, and he's okay with it. But it hurts so much when a brown eyed boy comes asking for his assistance.” (3162 words)

Get Through This Together- “Tyler and Josh are the type of people who can call each other 'best friend' after knowing each other for about 2 months. They share everything from food to their bed to their wildest dreams. They've even developed a routine together. Sadly, that routine gets shaken by something they weren't expecting…” (2971 words) 

The X-Files Fic- “In which Josh delves into the world of X-Files fanfiction, and decides that there needs to be X-Files fanfiction starring him and Tyler. But it’s totally not gay, okay guys? Just a story about him and his bro solving crimes about aliens and maybe they kiss sometimes.” (4782 words)

The Red Bull Fic- “The milk fic only with joshler and Red Bull.”  (3465 words)

itty bitty- “Tyler finds Josh on his heat. Josh needs his teeny tiny cock played with and a massive cock to fill his dripping hole.” (2509 words)

Come On and Work it All Out- “Tyler and Josh wake up only remembering their own name, and try to figure out who they are.” (2665 words)

85 Percent- trans Josh gets pregnant on Tyler’s wedding (2991 words)

oh boy, did tyler fuck up.- "it's not like he actually wanted to sit in an almost empty emergency room in his local hospital a saturday evening, sipping on watery coffee that barely counts as lukewarm with a dildo stuck in his ass" (3753 words) 

Something Wicked This Way Comes- “Tyler is an urban witch. Josh is a bounty hunter. A lot of shit goes down.” (15440 words)

Frozen Still- “If he left this party knowing that Josh had been sitting alone, available, not having kissed anyone at all… he wouldn’t forgive himself for the entirety of the new year. This, Tyler thought, as Josh rested his chin against his knees, was a boy who should be kissed.” (1021 words)

there’s only one virgin left and that’s you- “tylers the last virgin in a sex crazed high school that even awards you points for the amount of people you get with. tyler thinks it's dumb and plans on keeping his virginity till he graduates, but with everyone after him it seems like a challenge.” (1306 words)

Lead Singer- “Tylers the energetic lead singer Josh didn’t expect to be fucking.” (940 words)

Discovering The Waterfront- “Tyler lives in a sexless village, where the very concept of even having a sex drive has become obsolete. Josh moves in from the city and changes that.” (9947 words) 5/5

He Belongs to the Game- “In which Tyler is kind of a stripper, Josh is kind of an asshole, and they both kind of figure it out.” (3207 words)

Handful- “adorable first date gone wrong.” (fluff) (3012 words)

Never Gunna Give You Up- “Prompt: Tyler goes into rut, and Josh helps him through it.” (2149 words)

gets off on being down- “tyler would do anything for attention.” (1352 words)

Fire In Every Sign of Winter Marasa- “Dude, I'm freaking out.” That’s a complete understatement.” (6262 words) 3/3 

Decode- “Josh is punk. Tyler wears floral skirts. They fuck on a bet.” (4337 words)  

Fifty shades of pink- “When Jenna's away the boys will play, but what happens when they lose track of time.” (2894 words)

Lights On- “Prom night is coming up, and Tyler knows that his date might have certain… expectations. The only problem? Tyler’s never done anything with a girl before. Fortunately, Josh has.” (4525 words) 

Show me what you've got- “Joshua dun is in love with his brother-in-law, Tyler. It's disgusting and wrong but he can't help it. It's worse when Tyler takes advantage of it.” (4118 words) 2/2 

Bold & Fearless In The Risks We Take- “The first time they met, Tyler made Josh bleed. But as blood brothers, the friendship endures all life's growing pains.” (42176 words)

Spicy cycle (dirty laundry)- “There were many tweets warning others ‘don't share the pics. You’re an asshole if you do. Be respectful!' but it didn’t take Tyler too long to uncover the first of the photos. Everything changed after that.” (26584 words) 7/7 

bold and fearless in the risks we take- “tyler doesn’t remember much of what transpired to have him walking down the side of an empty road well past midnight, gently clutching his broken nose, fingers dripping with his own blood.” (72677) 22/22 (never finished; Read: 3/16/18)

i wanna make you mine (but that's hard to say)- “in which tyler's an idiot who chooses to study for exams at two in the morning and josh wants to be cranky but tyler's lips are kinda distracting” (1290 words) 

let me love (let me touch)- “The atmosphere was light, the moon shone through the curtains, and there wasn't a thing that Tyler wanted more than to make his boy feel good.” (1289 words)

this love- “josh is trans and having a bad dysphoria day. tyler tries to help him out.” (1260 words)

Stateless- “Send me a pic. And then I'll help you out.” (1288 words)

Soul Love-”Tyler and Josh have a swap.” (1189 words)

No homo- sex on tour bus while tyler says no homo ironically. (1166 words) 

Idk what to title this- “In which Josh likes to take it and Tyler likes to give it.” (1165 words) 

you're the holiest thing i know- “Tyler is nervous. Josh is the biggest sweetheart in the world.” (1156 words) 

A Little Time Off- “Josh just wants to have a lazy day off watching cartoons, but Tyler misses him a little too much” (1146 words) 

In His Arms- “Tyler has a nightmare. Josh gives him a hand *cough cough* to help him sleep.” (1134 words) 

He keeps me warm- has exhibition and sex. (1104 words) 

Sweet Lovin'- “Tyler wants cookies and Josh's love.” (1025 words) 

Famous Last Words- “The one where Josh has Tyler cum trained.” (1015 words) 

keep my eyes closed and try to feel all of the effects- “Josh needs Tyler to help him with something.” (1013 words)

grinding Together with occasional Touch of enamel- “Some pure Tyler and Josh being Tyler and Josh” (1013 words)

Fluff blowjob stuff- “Tyler is an intern at the bakery where Josh works and they're so gay for each other and after closing time, things happen” (1010 words) 

In Tents- “Tyler's mind doesn't think all the way through at midnight.” (1421 words) 

I think I lost my halo- “A one shot where Tyler misses Josh desperately and decides to Skype him.” (1408 words)

Every You, Every Me- “Tyler no longer wanted to nap - he wanted to kiss Josh until both of them came in their pants.” (1357 words) 

you're out of the band- “josh 'helps' tyler after he is told he is out of the band, and maybe finds his way back in after he 'helps'.” (1335 words) 

Texts for Josh Dun- “Josh gets a text from an unknown number.” (1314 words) 

Light Me Up Inside- “It's Tyler's birthday, but an unexpected snow storm and the dropping temperature has him and Josh canceling their plans to have a little fun inside.” (1296 words) 

we do believe what's on tv- “tyler drunk calls josh. one thing leads to another, cause that's always how these things happen, right?” (1707 words) 

you give me lovin' (that good kind of lovin')- “phone sex b/c tyler and josh are away from each other for some reason.” (1661 words) 

Naked Noises- “Crappy motel porn.” (1670 words) 

I can do that- “Tyler sees him at church.” (1619 words) 

you're the reason i'm alone and masturbate- “He doesn’t have a problem with masturbation; put a bunch of horny guys in their twenties together on a bus and you’re bound to hear someone at least once. It’s just, Josh could at least try to act like he wasn’t jerking off almost every single night.” (1540 words) 

Why not, we're buds- “When Tyler wakes up to Josh moaning his name, he gets hard himself. He asks Josh to fix it for him. Because why not? They're buds.” (1595 words) 

Øn his knees- "Gonna ride you, but you can't touch me," Tyler smirked before looking Josh right in the eyes, "you can cum whenever you want to." (1500 words) 

Secret Ways- “Tyler has a humping kink. Josh is okay with it. They're both a little desperate for each other.” (1440 words) Warm and wet- “Tyler wants to make Josh squirt” (1428 words)  

It Feels Better (Biting Down)- “Tyler masturbates for the first time ever in the most awkward, yet strangely hot way possible.” (1490 words) 

Get Through This Together- “Tyler and Josh are the type of people who can call each other 'best friend' after knowing each other for about 2 months. They share everything from food to their bed to their wildest dreams. They've even developed a routine together. Sadly, that routine gets shaken by something they weren't expecting…” (2971 words) Variety- "dom tyler with shy josh and dirty talk !!" (1847 words) Halo- “He's got an early class tomorrow and he doesn't know why he came here but now there's a drink in his hand and he can't turn back.” (1828 words) knowing everything is fine- “Tyler is a powerbottom, and Josh is a meek lil nugget.” (1824 words) odi- “Tyler smirked. "Why? Is Joshie gonna cry?" He said in a baby voice, his bottom lip coming out into a pout. Tyler's tongue was sharp. So sharp he once brought Josh to tears, and he never let Josh forget it.” (1793 words) Incomplete- “Tyler brushes his thumb over Josh's mouth. Josh doesn't stir, but Tyler wishes he would, because he needs something to tire him out. They could indulge in something simple like pillowfights or jumping on the bed until it groans.” (1778 words) Surprise, surprise- “Tyler wants to surprise Josh, but he falls asleep.” (2121 words) Perfect Symmetry- “Josh likes his drums, but he also likes Tyler’s hips.” (2648 words) your taste is so inviting (now i'm living in a dream)- “Josh and Tyler take a shower together after a muddy game of soccer and Josh can't fathom why he suddenly wants to put his dick in his best friend's asshole.” (2645 words) Loud and Quiet- “At such a close proximity, Josh suddenly catches a whiff of something vaguely familiar. He chases it to Tyler’s hair and inhales discreetly. Josh blinks. “Are you...are you high?” (1851 words) Fetish: Joshler- “Josh is sick of being alone and can tell by Tyler's posts that Ty is missing him too. After two weeks of separation and anger, Josh goes to Ty's house and works out his pent up frustration.” (1964 words) had me shakin' (just mine all mine)- (1949 words) It's not what it looks like- “Tyler underestimates the time Josh is supposed to be home at.” (1776 words) Use me until every little piece is gone- “Tyler is willing and adores being used for Josh's pleasure Josh is dominant and adores how Tyler lets him fulfil his darkest fantasies” (1761 words) We are so fucked- “This is my first work on archive so go easy on me. Okay so Tyler and Josh are teenagers who are madly in love but are convinced the other is straight so Jensen and Jared the cutest couple in school try to make them come together but will Tyler's worried that his past will get in the way But Josh has a secret of his own that might be just a little bit strange.” (1643 words) 4/4 And You May ask Yourself- “He’s never been with a boy before. But this isn’t just any boy. It’s Josh.” (1717 words) Clumsy- “Josh applauds Tyler's knot work; it's gotten better since last time and he can barely move his wrists at all. It's when he hears the soft patter of socked feet on carpet does he start to fumble.” (1717 words) periwinkle suits you [who i adore]- “Josh likes to secretly dress up in pretty lingerie. Tyler accidentally sees Josh's pretty panties when he's drunk.” (1451 words) 

Your Body Is My Wonderland- “Tyler is such a special person…he’s so soft and angelic looking…so fragile and pure. And yet at the same time he’s the pure embodiment of sin.” (1471 words)

Ferris Wheel- “Josh and Tyler take a break from their busy tour lives and head to a carnival. Tyler treats Josh with all the drinks he wants, which backfires. Aka the pee kink fic where josh gets fucked in a Ferris wheel then a bathroom” (1465 words) 

i get around- “Josh really hates parties.” (1882 words)

so where do we begin?- “Sometimes Tyler thinks of Josh as something a little more than just his best friend, and when Josh walks in on him with his hands down his pants moaning his name, things get a little awkward.” (1928 words)

House Of The Lord- “Sundays are meant to be spent in the bathroom, panting, and guilty.” (1940 words)

Back to school- “Tyler has some other desires he's been suppressing — desires to also be with men — more specifically, his openly gay college roommate, Josh. Desires he's ready to fulfill.” (2018 words)

[travisandersondatingblog]

How To Start Dating Again: 5 Powerful Tips To Get You Back Out There

8You’ve been out of the game so long, you’re not even sure where to begin. Whether you’ve been married and then divorced or simply were in a long-term relationship that recently ended, it’s understandable that you’d be apprehensive about how to start dating again.

After all, the dating landscape has changed. Significantly.

Where in your 20s, you didn’t worry about much beyond whether he was going to call (on your landline, at that), now you have to deal with online dating, dick pics (yea, they’re real), and textiquette. All that on top of not being entirely sure what you want in a man at this point in your life.

At one point, you were desperately looking for a husband so you could settle down and have the whole 2.5 kids and white picket fence.

Now? You’re not sure you need that anymore. And if you do still want it, you want to ensure you don’t make the same mistakes you made with the last bozo.

It’s scary to get back to dating, for sure. But trust me that once you take that first brave step of getting started, you’ll quickly learn how to start dating again.

It’s like riding a bike. You never really forget what you’re doing. The bike might be electric these days, but you’ve still got the skills. Trust me on that.

How To Start Dating Again Tip #1: Make A List Of What You Are Looking For

Making a list of what you want in a man can bring you clarity.

If you’ve genuinely healed from whatever past pain you suffered in your last relationship and are ready to find love again, start by using your past to shape your future.

You already know what you don’t want in a man (a cheater, liar, or lazy good-for-nothing), so focus on what you do want. Making a list of the qualities and characteristics you want in a boyfriend or partner is an excellent way to get clear on what you’re looking for.

Your list can be as detailed as you want. Hell, it can be as superficial as you want. No one’s going to see it but you.

I want a man who…

is rich.

is funny.

drives a red sports car.

has a big…

You do you, lady. Be honest about the things that are important to you, because that’s what you want to attract.

And while you might be tempted to write what you don’t want (I don’t want a man who can’t express himself), it’s been proven that using negative statements produces negative results. There’s a belief with the Law of Attraction that if you say I don’t want a man who can’t express himself, the Universe only hears a man who can’t express himself, and assumes that is what you want.

So try rephrasing it: I want a man who can express himself fully.

Think it’s mumbo-jumbo? Give it a try anyway. What’s the harm in putting what you want in a man out there as you learn how to start dating again?

As you start learning how to start dating again, your list of what you want in a partner may look significantly different than it would have in your 20s, and that’s okay. Here are a few things you might want to include:

Whether he should want to get married or not/has been married before

Whether he wants kids/has kids

Physical appearance

Income and education

Personality (funny, intelligent, witty)

Interests (sports, travel, reading)

Bonus Tip: Keep your list where you can look at it often. As you start to meet men, see how many items they can check off your list of wants. While you might not meet a man with 100% of the items on your list, you can at least keep focused on what you want so that when you meet men that in no way fit what you’re looking for, you can quickly move on.

How To Start Dating Again Tip #2: Get Into The Mindset of Having Fun

I’ve met a lot of women that, as they’re learning how to start dating again, simply get paralyzed at the prospect of getting back out there. The idea of getting on a dating app, meeting someone for coffee, or even texting a man fills them with fear.

Do you feel the same?

Him: So, tell me about yourself.

You: [thinking] Uhhh…what do I say? What does he want to hear? What’s the right thing to say to make him fall in love with me?? AGGG!

Let me just say: dating isn’t a job interview. It’s not the Miss America pageant. You will not be graded.

The man you go out with next does not have to be your life partner. Heck, you don’t even have to go on another date with him if you don’t want.

Dating is supposed to be fun!

Once you can shift your thinking away from it being a stressful chore and toward it being enjoyable, you’ll be able to lighten up and relax. And when you’re relaxed, you’re better able to open up to the guys you meet.

You’ll likely go on a lot of first dates as you look for The One. If your attitude isn’t ugg, not another first date that will end abysmally, you might actually have a good time. At the very least, you get coffee or a meal out of it. And even if you don’t feel romantic sparks, you might find a new friend. Maybe your next date will be your new hiking buddy. Maybe he’ll eventually introduce you to his friend, who you fall for. You just never know.

So don’t set your expectations so high for dating. As you adjust to how to start dating again, be open to dating being another activity you do to be social and have fun.

Bonus Tip: You might get tired of going on the same types of dates over and over again, so take control next time and suggest a fun venue like mini golf, hiking, or a picnic to shake things up and keep things new.

How To Start Dating Again Tip #3: Try Something New

Give something new like online dating a try.

You might have sworn that you would never ever in 1,000 years try online dating.

Let me ask you: why?

Why would you write off a proven channel for meeting men who are looking for a relationship?

Dating apps aren’t just for people looking to hook up on Tinder. In fact, you might be more likely to find the guy you’re going to marry on an app.

In a study funded by eHarmony and published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers found that people who had met their spouses online had more satisfying marriages than those who met their spouses offline. There was also less incident of separation or divorce for those who met online.

So what’s the harm in trying it out? Set up a profile, peruse a few men’s profiles, and see what happens. I bet you’ll get a message from a hottie that will get you excited and thinking differently about online dating.

Bonus Tip: Try at least two different dating apps or sites to start with, because they all have slightly different features. Bumble, which allows you to swipe right on guys you’re interested in, lets you make the first move in starting a conversation. OKCupid and Match have large pools of men and more detailed profile data, and either the man or the woman can initiate conversation.

How To Start Dating Again Tip #4: Update Your Routine

Learn to start dating again by updating your routine.

The older you are, the harder it seems to be to meet people. While in some ways that’s true if you have continued the same patterns you’ve always had (go to work, go to store, come home), it doesn’t have to be your reality. The trick is to get into a new routine that will maximize your opportunity to meet potential dates and to see opportunity everywhere.

You might not have considered the gym as being a great place to meet men, but 47% of Americans find that to be true. And just think: it’s one more motivating reason to put on your yoga pants and head there, even if you feel like eating ice cream on the couch.

Singles mixers are another place that can be great for making contacts.

Check Meetup.com to see what events target the demographic of men you’re trying to meet, then grab a single girlfriend (or be brave and go alone) and have a good time. Again, set your expectations low; you may not meet Prince Charming, but you might get your dance on, which you might not have done for years. Be confident, talk to as many people as possible, and don’t be shy about giving your number to that cute guy with the nerdy glasses.

Make being open to meeting someone part of your new routine. If you’ve taken my advice offered on how to start dating again by venturing into online dating, plan to spend 5-10 minutes each day browsing men’s profiles, sending messages, and responding to messages. Schedule at least one singles mixer event a month. Fit more opportunities into your schedule.

Bonus Tip: One great way to invite new opportunities into your life is to start saying yes more. If a friend invites you to a party with people you don’t know, resist your habit of saying no. You never know who you’ll meet. Say yes to trying new things like attending a ball game or kayaking. Even if you don’t meet a man, you will expand your experiences, and that makes for a more well-rounded and therefore attractive woman when you do meet a guy.

How To Start Dating Again Tip #5: Be Optimistic About Love

Believe in love again.

One of the biggest barriers to adjusting to how to start dating again at 40 (or 30 or whenever) is a mental one. You’ve been hurt before, and your heart wants to protect itself from future pain.

If I date again, I’ll attract the same narcissistic asshole.

I can’t risk being vulnerable again.

If my 17-year marriage wasn’t love, then love doesn’t exist.

Your mind tells yourself all kinds of things to keep you from risking pain again. But you know the saying: no pain, no gain. Look, I can’t promise you that you’ll never get hurt again in love. Probably you will. We all do. But that’s part of it. That’s the price you pay for eventually finding the kind of lasting and beautiful love you have only dreamed of until now.

So believe in love again. Be open to falling madly, deeply into it. Because if you base your opinion about love on the last guy who broke your heart, you’re doing yourself a disservice. He wasn’t love. If he was, it wouldn’t have ended. So yes, you might have wasted years with the wrong man, but now you’ve freed yourself from him and are completely open to finding real, true love.

And this should make you feel better: a study by Kingston University found that women are happier after divorce. They’re no longer settling for a Good Enough relationship. They know they’re worth more than the last man made them feel they were worth. They’re optimistic about love. You can be too.

Bonus Tip: Even if you can’t possibly believe that love is around the corner, pretend that you believe it. Use the “fake it ’til you feel it” strategy to convince yourself that you can find love. Don’t believe that will work? A study waaay back in the 20th century by Victorian philosopher William James proves otherwise. James had a theory (though, unfortunately, no one really took it seriously until much later) that forcing a smile should make you feel happy, and frowning should make you feel sad.

He further hypothesized that people could create any feeling simply by acting as if they were experiencing that emotion. So go ahead. Prove William James right. Pretend that you believe love will come your way soon and see what happens.

How To Start Dating Again Tip #6: Take Your Time

Take your time getting to know him.

One issue I see time and time again with women who are getting back into the dating game is that they rush it. Some may simply want the comfort of being in another relationship quickly and may rush the dating process to get to that familiarity. Others may simply not want to be in the dating pool and may settle for the first guy that looks their way.

What’s your excuse? Why do you want to rush into a relationship?

The first reason I urge you to take your time as you navigate how to start dating again is that you’ll probably need more time than you imagine to heal from the pain you’ve been through if you had a traumatic breakup or divorce. I know that just a few months after the end of one relationship, you can feel like you’re totally ready to move on, but believe me: you might not really be.

What will dating do to you when it reminds you of those unresolved trust issues you thought you were past? Will you come undone the first time you have sex with someone new? Will you be defensive with every guy you date, assuming he’ll break your heart like the last one?

And even if you have fully healed from past relationships (experts say it can take 6 weeks for a shorter relationship, and months or even years for a long marriage), there’s still plenty of reason to take things slow when first getting to know a new man.

Think about how long it took you to really know your past partner. It might have been a year or more before you knew every quirky thing about him. Every fear. All his past stories. When you learn how to start dating again, the first thing you might realize is: wow, I don’t know this guy at all. You’ve got to start that getting-to-know-you process all over again.

And that takes time.

But take it from me: there’s something completely beautiful about the process of getting to know someone and in falling in love. So go slow. Don’t rush it. Savor every last minute of it. Because if this particular guy is the one, you’ll one day look back and remember these early days fondly. Even if you’re going on dates with multiple people, take your time and enjoy the single life. One day you won’t be single, and you want your memories of this period of your life to be pleasant.

Bonus Tip: If you get frustrated with dating, take a break in between. It’s perfectly okay to have some “you time” in between where you aren’t focused on finding someone to quell your loneliness. Because in truth, you have to be okay being alone before you can be a good partner to someone else.

How To Start Dating Again Tip #7: Accept That Some Things are Different

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