#tryign to not be agoraphobic but its getting harder to be brave enough to leave my yard
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Before it eats my brain up I will type out weird interaction with the neighbor diagonal from me. I'm walking Stol, he pees on a tree on the side of the street opposite from my house. It's not a yard, it's an empty spanse of grass, weeds, and trees that are between the parking pad of the apartment building, and the street.
Guy (tall, large, older man maybe 50s-60s) pulls up into his driveway and gets out. At first I don't even register that he's talking to me. But I finally realize he's asking me "is that your yard?"
I said "sorry?" Not sure if I heard him right.
"is that your yard??" (He sounds slurred , perhaps drunk?)
"No that's not my yard."
"don't let your dog go in other people's yards."
At this point I'm ?? Not sure how to process this but my alarm bells are going off due to this man's body language and tone of voice. So I just say "my dog peed on the tree." cuz I don't know what else to say.
He says even louder "don't matter, that's not your yard."
I wanted to say well is it YOUR yard?! But I just said "big deal, he peed on a tree, it's fine."
I continue walking Stoli, trying to ignore the guy but I can tell he's following me a little down the street which makes me even more nervous. I hear him saying something but I dont catch the whole thing.
Stoli stops to poop (and again I must stress this is NOT a yard. It's essentially a no-mans land, unkempt side of a residential street with overgrown weeds, invasive plants, bare dirt, etc.)
I am getting poop bags out when I hear the guy about "AND NOW HES TAKIN A SHIT? HES SHITTING?"
I don't say anything at this point but NGL my temper is spiking. I pick up the poop and debate on yelling back that if he doesn't shut up I'll throw the shit bag in his face. I keep walking though. I don't know why but it got my blood pressure up SO much.
I hear him say one more time "THAT DOG IS SHITTING!" But I continue walking around the loop and the guy stops following me after I ignored him over the shit comment.
This is the first time I've ever seen this man or even interacted with people in that house.
The place Stoli peed isn't his house or yard or land. What a bizarre thing to get angry about, my dog hiking his leg on a tree that's by the street. I picked up his poop as I always do. It makes me nervous bc no matter where I go for walks I have to walk past this guy's house because it's RIGHT there, corner lot diagonal from ours. Low key was afraid of being assaulted or shot, but it may just be my PTSD hyper vigilance. He was giving off some rancid vibes.
#anyway.#idk why this made me so angry and aggressive but im gonna guess#trauma and hyper vigilance.#sadly.#im to the point where if another man lays hands on me i will lash him across the face with the clip end of my leather leash#sorry to be so aggressive but. im tired.#of being assaulted#if it happens at my own fucking house i will snap#tryign to not be agoraphobic but its getting harder to be brave enough to leave my yard#now this?!?#come on.#let me mash a poop bag in his face#let me get one good whack with the leash#ok im calm now.#cw violence#personal
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