#try to make cartman feel better
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
We all know who Kyle will prioritize the most, sorry Stan better luck next time when he isn’t too “busy”
#south park#south park fanart#fan art#art#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#eric cartman#kyman#sp kyman#sp stan#sp kyle#sp cartman#sorry Stan but#Kyle kinda don’t#give a fuck about you#and would rather be in another country#than actually help you#unless it’s cartman#than he’ll put all the effort to#try to make cartman feel better#yes this is a dunk on#style#rlly do not like that ship#and yes he’s glowing#and that’s his elephant from that season 1 episode
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
why kyle actually knows how to help cartman and heidi doesn’t
i swear this wholeass special is a PERFECT example on why kyman works and heiman doesn’t lol. like ya’ll remember when heidi tried to help with cartman’s weight by making him go vegan, and then cartman retaliated back at her by making her gain weight? well in “the end of obesity”, we see kyle going full boyfriend mode trying to help cartman with his weight and cartman is cooperative as hell abt it and listens to kyle. like idek how people can say cartman is the abusive one at this point bc there are a lot of aspects of their dynamic where kyle is the one who takes charge and dominates which he did in this episode lol. and i also feel like kyle did a WAYYY better job than heidi trying to find a weight loss solution cartman would be ok with. kyle knows damn well that if he were to try to get cartman to go on a diet like heidi did, that would NOT work. he knows cartman well enough to know cartman can’t stand vegans and would never eat that crap lol. so yeah i feel like kyle did a good job of rlly taking cartman’s feelings into consideration and trying to help him in a way that ACTUALLY WORKS that he wants to be helped with. i also feel like kyle was waiting for a moment where cartman wanted to HELP HIMSELF and would be appreciative about it. i’m sure kyle rlly appreciated seeing cartman genuinely concerned and upset about his weight in that beginning scene where cartman was crying abt being fat, so yeah ofc kyle pounced on that opportunity lol. something else i loved abt this episode is it showed how truly patient kyle is with cartman LOL. like when they were on that wholeass navigating the healthcare system montage the fact that kyle did NOT give up and kept taking cartman from one place to the next to fill out all those forms even though it was annoying and tedious was admirable af. this is something i’ve ranted abt A LONGASS time ago abt how everyone acts like kyle is easily irritated and annoyed with cartman, when in reality he has more patience for his bullshit than any other character and is willing to spend long periods of time with him when the other characters won’t. so yeah HEIDI COULD NEVER. kyle was working his ass off to find a rational solution that could help with his weight, wheras heidi just gave up right away when the first thing she tried didn’t work. i also feel like i have to point out how much i loved how touchy and feely and possessive kyle got in this special, which just further adds more validity to the jelly kyle theory (which rlly isn’t a theory bc it’s true) we had during the heiman drama back in seasons 20-21. like yeah no SHIT kyle is gonna get mad over a girl holding hands with cartman bc HE WANTS TO HOLD HANDS WITH CARTMAN and he’s used to being the one that gets to touch him and be in his personal bubble.
215 notes
·
View notes
Text
SP characters with a Reader that is clumsy/prone to getting hurt<3
Stan❤️:
• He is definitely gonna make sure he is holding your hand or locking his arm with yours as an attempt to keep you from getting hurt
• Sadly something always happens, last time you and him were holding hands you walked face first into a pole at school (He felt so bad, he took you home, bought you different snacks to eat and even held your ice pack on your nose so you didn’t have to move a muscle)
• You can try and tell him that you get hurt a lot and that you’re just clumsy but he will still have that little bit of guilt in the back of his mind when you do get hurt
• Trust he will also be the type to carry a few bandaids and numbing cream in his backpack for you to use if an accident occurs (There will be plenty so you’ll be needing it)
• Definitely the type to let out a long sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose if you run into a wall, trip, stub your toe but it doesn’t leave you extremely hurt (He cares for you a lot but lord does he wish you could stay alright for 5 minutes)
• Overall he is very sweet to you and tries to make sure no harm happens but because it is you, something is always happening
Kyle💚:
• Probably the most stressed out of everyone, even more than you when you’re hurt
• He stays strapped with bandaids, creams, alcohol, ect., there is no way he is going to let you get some sort of random ass infection or let you get hurt to the point you’ll need to go to the ER (he is very dramatic about your clumsiness)
• It’s almost like he can see you hurting yourself before it even happens, you’re stumbling about to faceplant, he is there grabbing your arm to pull you up, you turn around a corner too quick and almost run into someone, he is yanking you back by your shirt (He tries his best to be gentle but sometimes he has just gotta yank and grab you quick, lol)
• Will definitely give you lectures while he is patching you up or making sure you’re alright, it just stresses him out to see you like this
• There have been a few instances where he has to keep himself from yelling at other people if he feels they might have been the reason you got hurt (He means it all in your best interest because he can’t see it only being your fault even if you say it was)
• Overall he can get stressed but enjoys taking care of you when you’re hurt, he could never be mad at you or the fact you’re clumsy
Cartman💛:
• Will absolutely laugh at you if he sees you run into something or trip
• If you don’t laugh too and get up after your fall or start grabbing wherever you got hurt at, he is gonna go quiet and get serious (He may be mean but if you’re really hurting he won’t be giggling)
• If you cry he is gonna be all like “Omg, I didn’t think you were that stupid.” and grab by your arm to take you somewhere to sit and maybe if you’re lucky he will give you a quick hug to try and make you feel better
• Definitely going to bring it up later and tell you something about being more careful and not being so dumb (He is really tying his best to sound reassuring)
• Is willing to help bandage you up and put alcohol or cream on your wounds if you have them but will complain about it until he’s finished
• Overall he is so…Cartman about it, not the worst but not the best, He won’t ever tell you that he is worried about you getting really hurt but drops hints in his own way
Kenny🧡:
• He is also the type to giggle a little if you stumble or trip but ONLY if he knows you’re perfectly fine
• Says something like “Oh you got a little ouchie here let me kiss it and make it feel better.” In an annoying baby voice to try and make you laugh (It does and makes you focus on whatever pain you might feel a little less)
• He is definitely going to be a bit more level headed about it, not too worried but not too apathetic to the point you feel he doesn’t care
• Definitely going to watch over you as much as he can, like connected at the hip, where you go he goes just so he can try and prevent you from hurting yourself as much as possible (The effort is sweet but with your clumsy self, that ain’t doing too much)
• Also the type of person to draw the attention from you if you trip or hurt yourself in public just so you don’t feel embarrassed
• Overall he has the right idea and sometimes can save you from your little mishaps (It’s the thought that counts!!)
Butters🩵:
• Oh poor, sweet Butters, his heart can’t take it when you hurt yourself
• Whether its tripping over a piece of dust, hitting your head on your locker, running into a pole on the sidewalk, he feels so bad for you
• He will take you home right away when you get hurt, don’t matter when or where, you’re one of his top priorities especially if you're injured
• There was once an incident where he was trying to open his locker and you tried helping only for him to swing the locker open and hit you in the face (The guilt he felt that day still stays with him and he still tries to make it up to you…it was over 3 months ago)
• Isn’t the best with keeping creams, antibacterial soaps, and all that fancy stuff, so he sticks to his hello kitty bandaids to patch you up, obviously you don’t complain, it’s cute
• Overall Butters is a sweetheart like he is most of the time just with a bit more anxiety and worry when you're hurt (Man even if you aren’t he will be worrying about your next injury)
#south park x y/n#south park hcs#south park x reader#south park headcanons#south park#kyle broflovski#kenny mccormick#stan marsh#leopold butters stotch#eric cartman
143 notes
·
View notes
Text
Craig Tucker headcanons!
{sfw+nsfw} {fem reader}
when you first met Craig your freshman year of high school you were put off by his “i don’t give a fuck” demeanor
but after getting to know him, you found out he was just a sweet kid with many walls
when you first started dating it came as a surprise to the school, that Craig wasn’t fully gay
Tweek was hurt at first to see his past lover move on but he decided to move on also
he is extremely territorial of you, he hates when other men try to talk to you
during football games he can’t stop staring at you on the sidelines in your cheerleading uniform
for homecoming week you wore his jersey for there homecoming game and he was smitten
pda is sometimes okay, he likes to hold your hand out waist when you walk
he is a secret admirer, even when you are dating he will sit there and admire your beauty
writes love notes to you for every month anniversary
since stripe passed away you guys got a new guinea pig and named him spot
his love language is physical touch, he loves holding you close
is super big on cuddles, every time you hang out there is a cuddle sesh
says i love you in the first month because he is smitten with you
plays with your hair
the first time you ever saw him cry is when you had your first fight,
it scared you at first because you have never seen him so vulnerable 
“the reason why i am upset is because they don’t have good intentions, they want to use you!”
“your the only person i love, i would give you the whole world if i could”
comforting him was a little bit of a struggle because you didn’t know how
when you cry it’s the same for him
he doesn’t know how to respond to your emotions
ok Fridays you and Craig’s gang hang out at Tolkien’s house because he rich, and they have a pool
you and Jimmy are besties 👯
he loves when he lays on your chest so you run your hands through his hair
is actually a very extroverted person when you get to know him better
6’3, fucker is tall
when he kisses you he holds your head with both of his hands on each side of your head
always updates you on what’s happening when your not in class together
“dude Cartman just swung at Kyle”
“ wtf why💀”
“because remember how we have a presentation about WWII?”
“yeah..?”
“well Cartmans presentation was about hitler being right about jews and shit like that and obvi pissed kyle off and he just swung out of nowhere and it was great”
“damn i wish i had history with you guys😭”
late night drives are very common for you, it’s when you can be alone and talk about anything
always kisses your neck or forehead
when you are stressed he will rub your back until you fall asleep
he loves movies and makes you watch them with him
is you do any activities, he is always there with a smile on your face watching your every move
for valentine’s day he gets you a huge bouquet of your favorite flowers and a poem he wrote for you
he sells vapes for easy money
gives you free ones if you want any
his family really likes you
his mom always tells you stories of when he was young, and you guys always gossip🤭
his dad thinks your a good match for his son
Tricia really likes you and asks to hang out with you guys all the time
Craig usually says no😞
your name for him in his phone is “Mrs Tucker🫶🏼”
will always listen to what you have to say he is more of a listener then anything
when he gives you a sweater of his or a stuffed animal, he sprays his cologne on it
he loves when you wear his hat he thinks it looks so cute on you
always tells you how beautiful you look, it is an everyday occurrence
he sees you being together for a long time in the future but he doesn’t want to say anything to jinx it
he really likes eye contact, it feels so sensual to him
tells you all about his hyper fixations, aka all the space facts he knows
always asks if you ate today
is extremely good at reading people and knows exactly when your upset
“hun what is wrong?”
“nothing is”
“yes, something made you upset your shoulders got tense”
“you know me too well”
his parents are pretty layed back so they let you have sleepovers
once his dad flipped you off and it scared the shit out of you because you thought you did something wrong
almost all the photos you have together, Craig’s flipping off the camera🤦🏽♀️
he really likes to lift it helps relieve stress
he has a photo of you in his car, locker, phone case and room
you made a scrapbook of all the things you have done together, it contains dried flowers, the love notes he gives you, pictures of you guys and special dates
he def listens to R&B
always play fights with you, he usually body slams you on the bed
when you facetime him he always puts spot on the phone so he can say hi to his mom
you babysit Tricia whenever his parents are away and Craig is busy
she loves you though so it’s always a win win
if you ever ask Craig to be in a Tiktok with you it always takes you begging him for 19 straight minutes
when he snaps you it’s always a photo of him doing this face 😐
he loves the simple things in life like taking a walk or a picnic with you
calls you Mrs Tucker in front of his friends
if anyone tries to flirt with you he will go psycho
he will rip that guy a new one and swing, and yes it’s happened before
he hums or taps his finger to a beat when concentrating
he loves music and has a collection of vinyl records
sometimes he will put on his Frank Sinatra vinyl and you guys will slow dance
NSFW!!
he is a dom 100%
low key a sadist, he is also very kinky (it’s always the quite ones)
he loves to see you a wimpering mess begging to be touched by him
his favorite is edging
to see you so excited about your release but then being able to take it away makes him feral
6’5 inches but he is pretty girthy
he loves toys, especially paddles
brat tamer all the way
if you have been bad he will bend you over his knee and make you count and say thank you after each spank
he is not lacking muscle, god no, his arms are very defined and he has a great v line and soft abs
is very rough during sex usually
if he is in a very romantic mood it will be slow and passionate
he loves to mark you up, especially on your thighs
loves degrading you,
“god your such a slut”
“you stupid whore, you like it when i fuck you senseless, yeah?”
“be quite slut, you don’t want to be punished, huh?”
loves face fucking
his favorite position is doggy style because he can pull your hair and arch your back
is very into bondage and always practices on you
when he does he makes sure to be careful the first time to make sure it’s safe, if he hurt you he would never forgive himself
nipple clamps are also one of his favorites and gags
he loves to see you tied up, a submissive mess, begging to cum
his favorite part about you is your boobs and stomach
loves to be called sir or daddy
when you first did he swore he almost died because of how hard he came
really likes to go raw, he loves how it feels and really likes to cum on your face
when you suck him off he holds your head so he can be in control
loves to give you head, usually overstimulates you on purpose
“p-please sir i c-can’t anymore!”
“yes you can, i need to taste you again”
aftercare is usually really sweet
he usually apologizes if he went to far or said something that hurt your feelings
will get you water and ibuprofen incase your sore
he will get you all cleaned up and dress you
holds you in his arms with a grip of steel
kisses your forehead and your lips
.
.
i really enjoyed writing this, and i’m always open to requests i love writing for you guys. i hope you enjoyed this❤️
#south park#sp craig#craig tucker#south park craig#craig x reader#south park headcanons#south park x reader#craig tucker x reader#craig tucker x you
891 notes
·
View notes
Text
Kenny is so empathetic, sweet and almost too forgiving it's crazy. Of course, we see this the most with his sister. As we have established he has taken on a caregiver role when it comes to Karen, and we see him get angry at his father for shouting at her in "The City Part of Town" and goes to follow her when she walks away sad, most likely to comfort her. Later on in that same episode, we see him spending his wage on a doll for her, reaffirming that its for her when she asks "this is mine?" in shock, because she rarely gets nice things. This carries on in "The Poor Kid" when he uses Mysterion to comfort and protect her, as well as trying to do the same when he's just Kenny.
He shares his empathy with his friends, particularly with Butters in "Going Native", he could have ignored the others who insisted he was the one who should go and bring him back home from the airport but he went anyway. He held his hand, he stopped him from shooting his mouth off and he pursued this journey with Butters in order to get him to calm down when he didn't have to.
But while it is clear that Kenny is kind and unassuming, his friends do not extend the same kindness back. They turn their backs on him in "The Scoots", saying they can't carry on their tradition of Trick Or Treating together, even though they do it every year. They don't rent out a scooter for him or abandon their idea altogether when they realise Kenny can't get one. No, they see his sadness, see him walk away with his bucket that he was so excited to get and they let him go in order to fulfil their own selfish needs. It's not just Cartman, the easily identifiable asshole but also the seemingly moralistic Kyle and Stan who give into classism and allow their friend to feel bad. But when the scooters breakdown, Kenny joins them as if nothing happened, ignoring their prejudice and welcoming them back with open arms. In the end, he was just happy that he was "able to spend the rest of the night with my friends, because we were all equal again." Even though they aren't equal, and they made that abundantly clear, he was happy to give into the illusion of equality for the night just to be with them once more.
To me, Kenny's kindness is directly linked to his working class roots. It is well documented that people who are in less advantaged or part of a social minority are more likely to show up for others (we also see this with Kyle and Wendy, both being in minority groups) whether that is through community organising, mutual aid, political activism or simply being a kind person. His lived experience of not having much, of living on the bad side of town, of having to step up as a caregiver at the age of 9, of seeing his parents inebriated and physically violent, has made him more emotionally mature than anyone else his age. Therefore he is kinder, better and that makes me love him that much more
#my precious lovely son#south park#sp#kenny mccormick#sp kenny#south park kenny#karen mccormick#sp karen#south park karen#sp mysterion#south park mysterion#mysterion#eric cartman#kyle brovlofski#stan marsh#sp kyle#sp cartman#sp stan#south park kyle#south park stan#south park cartman#sp carol#stuart mccormick#carol mccormick#sp stuart#noreen’s think pieces#txt post#south park meta#south park analysis
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
What does Stan's friend group love about you? (Sp x F!y/n) </3
Warning(s): Slight NSFW
Reader is Female, and in these scenario you and your dp (Desired person, for example: Kyle) are already in an established relationship.
</3
Stan🎧💙 :
Dude loves any form of affection you give him, whether it be quick kisses to long, warm hugs, he feels like he'll throw up any second.
He wishes he could call you pet names but he's gonna get sick in the stomach REAL fast.
he also makes playlists of songs that remind him of you and sends them to you + puts them visible on his Spotify account
he doesn't show any clingy-ness or PDA around his friends bc cartman's such an ass and he'll get teased for days, but in private all he wants to do is cuddle w/ you and watch a Christmas movie together
loves loves loves when you mindlessly copy his actions, he think its soso cute. Like for example if he does a secret handshake with one of his friends and catches you trying to make one with yours, he's gonna die of how adorable it is.
He likes to go skating with you, if you don't know how to skate he'll gladly teach you
Get's hard whenever he sees you in a skirt 🙏🙏
Whenever he texts you and you send him pictures of yourself being all cute n' shii, his eyes widen and he automatically saves them to his camera roll with a sly grin on his face.
bro thinks he's mf swiper with his devious ass
he gets realllll horny whenever you sit with your legs crossed on a desk/table, or when you twirl your hair and make eye contact while talking to him. my guy's gonna be walking around with a huge boner the whole day in pain until you relieve him.
Kyle 🎮💚:
He tries extremely hard not to get flustered whenever you hug him from behind
Especially when you compliment his hair and play with it/start flirting with him while you do it. ITS JUST SO ENLKBVJVBENKJJ FOR HIM HE GOES WILD
"Kyle baby, you look so cute with your hair out like that .." "I- h-hah .. T-thank you .." Then he legit MELTS INTO YOUR TOUCH HE'S SO DESPERATE
he wants to act all tough and whatnot 4 you but you make him so vulnerable
what makes him hard as a fucking rock is when he's sitting down on his chair and you bend over towards him with your titties on the desk, arms crossed. HANDS DOWN CATCHES HIM OFF GUARD SO QUICKLY HIS EYES DART STRAIGHT TOWARDS YOUR TITS 😔😔
He lovesss seeing you wear his hoodies, something about it is just.. makes him feel some sort of way..
he gets really excited whenever you ask him to tutor you, it means you two get to spend more time together
If someone insults you he's gonna get MADD ANGRY
Like his anger issues will not allow someone to disrespect you like that.
he's always at your beck and call, if you need him, he's there.
Send him a bikini pic and he's gonna have a seizure.
"SHIT Y/N IM WITH MY FRIENDS WHAT IF THEY SEE IT?!??1!?!?!/11/1/ FUCK WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME AMEOIDOAEINAMSLKN"
STUDY DATES ARE HIS FAVOURITE BUT ALSO GOING OUT TO CAFE'S >>>>>>>>>>
He gets really blushy and nervous whenever your showing him so much affection to towards him infront of his friends, but he secretly likes it, he just doesnt wanna seem like a baby.
Whenever you get better grades than him he either celebrates for days or cries in a corner for hours. There's no in between.
Kyle is honestly so overprotective like if he sees a guy staring at you hes gonna straight up smack their face with a stack of graded homework assignments.
He jealousssss 🤭 he HATESSS admitting it though hes so whiny abt it too.
"Y/nn, I'm not jealousss babeee shutt uppp-uh 😠😠" Like a frickin 10 year old, LMFAO WHY DO I ACTUALLY IMAGINE HIM SAYING THAT THOUGH
Kenny 🏠🧡:
Lovesss showing/giving PDA doesn't matter where you are or who you're with
Bro is soso touch-starved its insane
He holds you by the waist while he leans in for a kiss, he low-key smells like cigarettes and car gas but I'm kinda into it ngl 🤷♀️
Whenever he gets touchy, it's not always going to be sexual but this man has some pretty horny thoughts but you cant blame him
Hes so whiny and wants you to touch him REALLY BADLY.
"Y/nn please please please I love you so much please just this once oh my God please your so hot I'm gonna suffocate I love you just this once please please PLEASEEEEEE-" "Kenny omg calm down wtf-"
His weak spot is seeing you in clothes that bring out your figure, I mean, girls look better in a real tight sweater ifkwim 😋
The only time he will EVER be the submissive one during sex is when hes balling his eyes out about something that's happened at home, or when he's high on sumthin'
If he's going to see you, he sometimes brings karen with him because he loves the little relationship you two got going on, also his parents are always arguing so it'd be a huge relief for both Karen AND Kenny.
Send him ONE picture and he'll be begging on his knees for more
"MOMMY SORRY MOMMY SORRY- OH GOD SEND MORE- I NEED- creams aggressively YOUR A FUCKING GODDESS OH LORD HAVE MERCY GOAWDH DAYHUYHM 😍😍"
It's a big bonus if you come from a wealthy or rich family cause then you can spoil Kenny and his siblings rotten like how they deserve 😔💞
Please treat karen well she really looks up to you, your like her idol and shes def your #1 fan, she'll always be talking about you and how amazing and thoughtful and pretty you are ITS JUST SO AAAAAAA KAREN IS SO CUTEEE 😖
Kenny doesn't have much but he'll try to save up ENOUGH money to get you something nice like a headband or some nail polish 😚
He's trying.
He just wants you to be happy with him.
Please get married.
Cartman 🍗❤️:
Oh no.
When people started finding out that Cartman had feelings for the one and only, Y/n, they felt so sorry and started giving u random things and being oddly kind around you.
You were like: ???
If he sees a guy flirting or talking to you, he's gonna lower their self esteem to the MAX.
Like he'll be soso rude abt it too
"What kind of dumb fuck like you would get any girls? You got to be kidding me, your dumber than Kahl."
Once you started dating him, man everyone in the school was either shocked, no- not shocked, literally flat-out concerned for your well-being.
Cartman, REEAAAALLLYYYY .. ?
He always wants your attention, even when your busy doing something he'll be texting you at the most randomest times saying "I'm coming over", and shows up at your door in less than 2 minutes.
If you give him a hug or a kiss in public, he'll be acting all tough and start bragging to his friends. But once he's alone, he'll start giggling and twirling around like a fangirl (😨)
He has so many bad pictures of you on his camera roll but it takes all of your convincing skills to tell him: DONT. POST. THE PICTURES.
He doesn't wanna participate in any tiktok couple challenges bc he thinks their stupid. Buttt unless you offer Kyle to do it then he's def gonna cave in 🤭.
He's such a toddler too
He'll secretly want to be the little spoon often but if you offer him his face starts looking like a whole-ass sunburn with an offended look on his face
"AHEM? No we are NAWT doing that. You? Cuddling ME? No no no, its supposed to be the other way around, "Y/n" 🙄"
He'd diss your music taste and then you'll catch him twerking to your favorite song
He just like that y'know?
#south park#south park x reader#south park fanfiction#south park headcanons#south park x you#south park x female y/n#south park x remale reader#south park kyle#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#eric cartman#kenny mccormick x reader#female reader#female y/n#eric cartman x y/n#kyle brovlofski x female reader#kyle x reader#kenny x reader#kenny x female reader#kenny x female y/n#south park fanfics#south park fandom#south park and y/n#y/n x south park#you in south park#everybody loves y/n
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
On the night of November 6th, 1983, twelve year old Jimmy Kern* heads back home from a night out with his friend. However… he never arrives. Now, Craig, Clyde, and Token must band together to find out what happened -- while getting entangled with supernatural forces... and a supernatural kid.
^Fan S1 Poster - S1 Redrawn Scenes
A/N: I don't what possessed me to write/draw this, but here it is. Since this an AU there has and will be changes. For now I just listened below the characters in the poster, and who their Stranger Things counter part is. I'm finishing up some scenes I redrawn, so hopefully I can get those up too (And introduce you to more people in the universe).
So, first up, we got the boys. We got...
° Craig Tucker - 12 - Dungeon Master/Thief - Middle Child - "Leader" of the group. Basically, I saw fan art of Creek being Mileven and I just had to try doing it on my own. Craig, just like in SP, is like the leader of his own group in this AU. I also made his D&D counterpart the same as TSoT, a thief instead of a paladin. But despite being a thief, he's still the heart of the group. Just like in Stranger Things, he's the one to find and allow Tweek to stay in his home. ° Token "Tolkien" Black || 12 || Ranger || Only Child || "Brawns over Brains" of the group. Still a bit of a rich kid in this AU, and lives with his two parents. He tends to butt heads with the others when Tweek comes into the story, feeling a bit left out and untrusting of the kid with superpowers; But eventually that all gets cleared up. In this AU, he's the one that goes to camp in S3, and has a long distance relationship with his GF, `Nicole, whom he met at camp. ° Clyde Donovan || 12 || Elf Cleric || Only Child || The "Voice of Reason" of the group. Lives with his single mother, Betsy, and their cat: Mr. Kitty (Stealing Cartman's cat here for this). I see him sharing a lot of traits with Dustin, but he's also a bit like Lucas too in this AU (He's more of the sporty one, and his GF, Bebe appears in S2 taking the place of Max). ° 011 - AKA: "Tweek" (Later: Tweek Marsh) - 12 - Mage - Superpowered Lab Rat Same kind of origin, stripped away from his mother and placed inside South Park Lab. After escaping he's found by the boys and ends up staying at Craig's house. He has the 011 tattoo on his wrist, but instead of being given the name "El", Craig gives him the name "Tweek" because of his fidgety moments (I see him being spazzy in this AU from the stress he felt from the lab, rather than the drug-induced coffee).
Then, we got the Kerns, which replaces the Byers. Seeing that Sharon has multiple last names in SP, I chose Kern 'cause it sounded better than the others.
° Jimmy Valmer Kern - 12 - Bard - Youngest Child - "Ride or Die" Comedy until he's very last breath. May or may not have punched Vecna in the face while in the upside down. I unfortunately have to make our poor boy Jimmy as Will. I promise he won't be as neglected once he returns like his ST counterpart. He's D&D character is a bard like in TSoT, and for now, I have no romance planned for him. Just good old family love.
° Sharon Kern - 40s - Single Mother - Will do anything for her children. I thought she was the perfect choice for Joyce after seeing the "Spooky Fish" episode. Sharon literally was burying bodies for her son Stan, and making sure he wouldn't end up in jail (For something he didn't do). I could definitely see this woman communicating with X-Mas lights to find her son. ° Older! Stanley Kern - 16 - Oldest Child - Excellent Photographer - Can actually talk to girls without vomiting. And yes, we're getting Blond Stan in this AU because I said so. I made him Jonathan in this AU after deciding who was going to be playing Nancy. Stan's kind of an outcast until he meets Wendy, who's trying to look for his lost friend, while he looks for his brother. Together, with their determination combined, they'll make anything work.
Other Characters. We've got...
° Older! Wendy Testaburger Tucker - 16 - Older Child - Total Badass in the second half of the 1st season. Typical sibling love-hate relationship w/Craig. After realizing her friend has gone missing under mysterious circumstances, typical "All-American" girl Wendy transforms into someone better, as she will do anything to find out what happened. She teams up with Stan... giving her boyfriend the wrong idea (Not spoiling who the BF is just yet). ° Randy Marsh - 40s - Town Sheriff - Has the hots for local single mother, Sharon (If it isn't obvious). Randy, just like Hopper, in this AU had an ex-wife and a daughter who passed (Sorry, Shelley). He lives a sad life of donuts and alcohol, until the search for Jimmy sparks something inside of him, and spirals his life into the supernatural forces caused by the lab. He eventually has to get Sharon involved to solve this crime. ° Dr. Alphonse Mephesto - 50s - Genetic Engineer/Crazed Local Scientist - "Papa" to a lot of children that ain't even his (I mean, he named his kids after numbers. Can we call CPS now?). I didn't know who else to pick, but for some reason Mephesto might actually be a good choice for Brenner. You'll learn more about him later on.
For now, that's all I got. I'll try to finish those screencaps soon! (And if anyone's interested, maybe I'll write a fanfic? Or a fan-comic?)
#craig x tweek#south park#stranger things#south park au#stranger things au#sharon marsh#randy marsh#stendy#blond stan marsh#tweek tweak#craig tucker#clyde donovan#token black#jimmy valmer#south park fanart#stranger things fanart#south park fandom#creek fanart#mileven#south park x stranger things#merry christmas#2024 christmas
50 notes
·
View notes
Note
HEY TOBESS!!!
ok so i maybeeeee want main 4 ( or main 3, i really don't care for cartman ) x reader
but like them playing BOARD GAMES (or video games) with reader
like pure fluff and it's so cute and yadadada
I'M NOT CREATIVE OK.
anyways LOVE U TOBES
– an🎱n 🤭🤭🤭
( i'm lttr requesting u every 2 seconds keeping u on ur toes fr. ur never getting rid of me HAHAHAHA )
ANONNN FINALLY I GOT UP TO THIS REQ OF FUCKING COURSEE
main 3 playing games
kyle :
- okay i better not hear ANY fucking complaining in the comments because i play this game
- he plays valorant.
- NOW I KNOW IT SOUNDS BAD BUT HEAR ME OUT
- having you sit on his lap as you watch him play
- giving you kisses in between rounds where he dies or buying
- if he’s playing competitively and he’s losing the ONLY and only reason why he’s still calm and not losing his shit is because of you.
- if you’re getting bored he’ll purposely die just to cover you in kisses
- i feel like i should add some valorant and kyle headcannons so LET. ME. COOK.
- clove // killjoy main
- he loves playing support, not a duelist type of guy
- doesn’t like playing heals
- rank is definitely bronze
- peak at one point was probably gold
- prob spent all his allowance on skins
stan :
- whoever disagrees on this, fuck you
- hear me out
- league.
- HEARRRR ME OUT.
- toxic league boyfriend and supportive girlfriend dynamic
- he likes you on his lap, not facing the screen but him.
- like when hes playing and your head is buried into his neck.
- you’re also probably one of the thing that keeps him calm at this point
- … and not loud
- literally if he’s alone he will scream to fucking loud at teammates
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING??”
- besides that.
- the toxicity on him is crazy insane when it comes to league
- one time some girl tried to hit on him and he literally got comm banned for being toxic..
- whoops?
- he is one of those people who will whisper i love you in your ears during rounds and plays with your hair if he died.
- knowing him, hardstuck bronze 3
- peak silver 2
- watches dantes ngl
- main Vayne or Darius
kenny :
- as much as i hate to admit it. this man is poor.
- his favourite game is roblox
- unlike stan and kyle he actually wants you to play with him
- as much as he prefers you to sit on his lap, playing with you is so much more fun
- i can see him having those new avatars with face tracking
- definitely plays a lot of arsenal
- 1v1 ‘s between him go crazy
- blames every death on ping.
- HE HAS ROBLOX VC
- hear me out dahood vc with him would go crazy
- once there was an ‘deep voice’ eboy trying to hit on you.
- lets say that ended up with a community voice chat banned for 3 days and also a bunch of stomps
- hes so protective of you
- literally FORCES you to wear matching fits with him in roblox
- you guys get called edaters.
- kenny also unironically plays dress to impress and royale high
- he also unironically MAKES THE BEST FITS???
- hes special like dat ;-;
#kyle broflovski x reader#south park x reader#southpark#southparkheadcannons#southparkimagines#stan marsh x y/n#eric cartman#eric cartman x reader#kenny mccormick#kenny mccormick x reader
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
craig is so fucking emotionally repressed and afraid of being vulnerable and open about his feelings and bottles them up way too much until he cant handle it and it never gets resolved i love him
he thinks he "is in control of his emotions", but in reality it seems like he's moreso blocking them out or ignoring them, or trying to rationalize the situation. (at least that's what it seems to be the case judging by the fact that's how he tried to help tweek feel better in Put It Down.) But it's literally canon that his primary weakness is communication so its definitely moredifficult for him to express his emotions unless he burts them out (like in his argument with tweek in put it down.)
love his relationship with tweek, it really forces him to confront an important part of life he is shown avoiding - emotions. and by talos it is difficult for him but he's learning.
though at the same time he's overwhelmed and overburdened, since tweek is pretty emotional and sometimes potentially clingy (due to him being naturally insecure of himself and somewhat relying on craig for encouragement), this might be perceived as a threat for craig who's practically afraid of emotions or vulnerability, and probably doesnt know how to manage them the best.
this is best shown (but not resolved) in Buddha Box where Cartman says the buddha box can help him block out anxiety or other people that may overburden him. he begins to talkabout tweek and feeling like hes always asking for his attention. so he just tries blocking everything out instead of confronting this or communicating this to tweek. its pretty interesting how they practically made it canon that he actually struggles with anxiety, despite him being the monotone, deadpan and calm one, especially when compared to tweek. im pretty disappointed they didnt resolve this by the end, but boy am i glad they showed the part of him that struggles as much as others. from what we know, craig is really not that close to many people, or much things, besides stripe, his guinea pig... so given his difficulties with communicating and accepting his feelings accompanied by the fact that he isnt and never was close to that many people, i dont blame him for finding it difficult to exactly manage his relationshiip with tweek, especially as tweek is really emotional himself. and craig does care, a lot, and does want tweek to be happy, and he tries helping him by simply being logical and coming up with solutions, rather than thinking emotionally, but sometimes that's simply not enough. and he does learn that in put it down but sort of starts struggling again in buddha box, except this time instead of learning to be emotinally vulnerable for tweek, he shuts himself off from everyone. though hopefully one day he learns to be more open, because that's pretty important in general but especially in a relationship, i think.
eurghhhh they complete each other so well. they are so different which does prove itself to be an obstacle but also is important for both of them, because they learn soo much from each other. Tweek learned how to be more confident in himself 'in a way he never has before' thanks to craig. and tweek is helping craig learn how to manage emotional relationships and life better and understand emotions in general.
Im not sure where exactly his emotional suppression comes from. It could be due to his family being more closed off. it could be due to him possibly being autistic. it could be due to both. it could be due to neither. but i love him nonetheless.
anyway sorry for small rant. the post was initially just gonna be one sentence but i felt like elaborating on what i meant. i love craig tucker soooo much. he makes me soooo happy.
#craig tucker#sp#south park#sp craig#craig sp#south park craig#craig south park#south park craig tucker#craig tucker south park#sp creek#tweek x craig#toki rambles#<3333333333333333#he.#autistic craig tucker#nd
75 notes
·
View notes
Note
Need head cannons of the main 4 comforting someone on their period 👉👈
Main four
Comforting reader on their period (disclaimer everyone is around 16-18, can be read as platonic or romantic)
Cartman
"You're on your period? Gross."
Let's be honest he would tease you and make fun of you (it's cartman bruh what did you expect?)
If you were emotionally to the point where you're crying he might be nice
[Keyword: might]
When he's in his nice era he'll get you some snacks and drinks but that's it anything is weird
Kenny
he would know enough about periods cause of karen
He doesn't have the money so he can't really get you any snacks and drinks or pads
But he can be sweet and be your little therapist when you're feeling down
He'll try his hardest to distract you from the pain
Kyle
He would know most of it so he'd understand how you feel (not really he doesn't have a possa-)
He would probably ask his mom what pads and or tampons are better
He would also buy you snacks and drinks, does your homework for you and cleans your room for you.
He would go full mom mode, tucking you in getting you panadol and some water.
Stan
Sweetest boy but has no idea what he's doing, doesn't know the basic basic stuff just kinda knows it bleeds down there.
Has Shelly but they're not very close but Sharon is there
Definitely a mamas boy so he'd ask his mom about what periods are and how to handle them
Would buy snacks and WATER only, would try to do you're homework for you but ends up forgetting lol
Thanks for reading I have been stuck with school and blah blah blah-
Anyways pls keep requesting ima get back into this for real this time :3
#south park x reader#southpark x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#eric cartman x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#stan marsh x reader#daisyyvoid#south park
278 notes
·
View notes
Note
HIIHII I LUV UR BLOG SM OMG CAN I BE 🃏-ANON?!?!?
Uhhh heres a request!! What about Kyle x childhoodbestfriend!reader (who was apart of the main 4's gang) and their first time doing the naughty??? *GIGGLES AND KICKS FEET*
OF COURSE YOU CAN BE 🃏anon!!! HEHE IDK WHY BUT IT MAKES ME SO GIDDYS HAVING ANONS TEHEHEHEH
ITS ALSO BEEN YEARS SINCE I WROTE SMUT SO BARE WITH ME AS I TRY TO GET THE HANG OUT IT AGAIN
Also I apologize for any mistakes, I’m like hella sick rn and super tired so I’ll try and edit this better once I come back from NAP ITS CALLING FOR ME
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Kyle x childhood best friend reader and their first time
Established Relationship ₊ ⊹
All characters aged up! Highschool AU! ‧₊˚✩彡
Kyle x reader 𐙚
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: smut/NSFW
“Cartman, if you’re gonna say it then do it dude, you always say shit and you never do it” Stan rolled his eyes, tossing his hat off onto the dewy grass and sighing. Cartman only glared. “What? You saying I’m not honest?! Everything I’ve ever said I’ve always lived up to and done? Right? Right guys?” Kyle lifted his head off the hammock, his hand slowly sliding down your back as you laid with him. You’ve always been apart of their group. The four of them took you in almost immediately when you moved to South Park in the fourth grade and you’ve all been friends ever since, though Kyle and you had always been the closest and everyone knew that but never really looked much into it. I mean you’ve both only ever just been friends. His slender fingers found their way under your shirt, tracing your spine in slow motions. “Cartman you’ve only ever lived up to your words when it benefits you. You sadistic fuck” he laid his head back down, one leg dangling off the hammock to softly push the both of you. Cartman mumbled something under his breath before he stood wiping off anything on his pants from the grass “well I’m out, I’ve had enough of you losers for one day” your head popped up from Kyle’s chest saying goodbye to the chubbier boy and looking at Stan and Kenny for a moment. Kenny was passed out on the grass of your backyard and Stan sat beside him smiling softly at you. “He’s a hoot isn’t he?” You giggled softly before looking up at Kyle who was already smiling down at you. Over the years it wasn’t exactly hard to tell that Kyle had developed feelings for you.. but he didn’t know how to tell you nor did he think he ever would. He didn’t want to ruin what you two had right now, and if that meant he could only cuddle like this? Hug you like that.. then he’d keep it a secret, well all except from Stan who met Kyle’s eyes with a sly smirk. “Well,” Stan spoke up once more still staring at Kyle and softly smacking Kenny’s chest to wake him up in which he woke up with a startle. “I think it’s time for me and Kenny to head out, I need him to help me with band shit” Kenny slowly stood up, his lanky form stretching “I do..?” “You do.” He glared at him before grabbing his hat and saying a goodbye as well as Kenny. There was a moment of silence and amongst the birds singing sweet melodies, Kyle’s soft noises almost intertwined with their chirps. The sun dusted over his face exposing many freckles, his curled hair much brighter in the sun. Your finger reached up to curl it more, admiring his face. “I remember when your hair used to be so long, messy” he opened one eye, green gems staring down at you “and you don’t like it now?” Your eyes softly widened. His hair was shorter now, a bit of shag but he kept his hair neat and short. One curl always dangling against his forehead, whilst the others were somewhat swept to the side. “No! I.. do, just reminiscing i guess.” He stared down for a moment. You made it so god damn hard to not kiss you, to not pull you in and crash his lips against yours. You were so tempting.. “Kyle!!” Kyle’s eyes were suddenly widened feeling your hands against his chest and you were sat up right. Your finger tips traced your lips as you watched him through frowned brows. “What was that?! You.. you can’t do that to me.” He kissed you, he kissed you and he wasn’t even thinking. You quickly stood, bare feet against the grass. He did the same swallowing thickly “I..” you didn’t like it? Was that it? Did he fuck up? Ruin everything that he could have just kept if he kept to himself? But at the same time.. did you not feel the way he felt for you..? Sure he always kept it a secret in fear of ruining the friendship, even the group itself.. but you just didn’t feel the same? Was that it? Was this it.
The pages slipped between your fingers, eyes darting over words that felt like honey melting the ridges of your mind. Your feet rubbed against each other, biting the inside of your cheek a love story so sickly sweet yet so sad. The boy who always got the love, but could never keep it for long. You sighed unsatisfied with the boys fate once more. You closed your book, bookmarking your spot and resting your head against the fluffed pillow beneath you. Sleep felt so close yet so far when the rock at your window kept you awake, and then.. another. “I swear to god Kenny if that’s you, I’m not sneaking to your god damn par- Kyle..” the wind blew through your curtains, you hair absorbing the cold breeze as your face was inches away from Kyle’s. “Let me in. Please..” you stared at him before nodding slowly, backing away to quietly rush to your door and lock it. Sure Kyle’s stayed the night before but sneaking in, never. He was a goody two shoes.. a loser you may say. He would never do anything to get him in trouble. He was.. the good boy. “Can we talk?” His hands rubbed the back on his neck as he sat on your bed, you slowly following him and sitting next to him. “Kyle if this is about earlier..” he looked at you almost immediately “yes it is. And I’m so sorry okay, I don’t know what I was thinking, I just.. I’ve, I like you okay? A fucking lot and if you don’t feel the same that’s fine I can’t force that on you but I also can’t change how I feel for you, I-“ your hand came to rest on the side of his face, your lips interlocking with his before pulling away and resting your forehead against him, noses softly brushing against each other. “Kyle, I’ve always liked you, I was just taken back that’s all..” a sigh of relief left his lips as he ran a hand through his hair. Before he could speak again you were quick to latch your lips onto his, finding your way onto his lap, arms wrapped around his neck. His hands came to hold onto your thighs, eyes wide for a moment before he eased himself into the kiss. Kyle’s lips left yours to travel down your jaw, whilst doing so he lifted you enough to place you underneath him before diving back down to suck at the soft spot against your neck. Your hands found their way underneath his shirt to allow yourself to scratch at his back earning you a low groan from him. He lifted his head “we don’t have to go any further.. if you feel like you need to stop just tell me” with a soft nod and impatiently waiting for him to stop speak you lifted his shirt over his head, his torso littered in soft freckles, soft abs prominent. “You’re so handsome..” a blush creeped onto his face feeling your hands against his chest and torso. “Shut up…” he bit his bottom lip before kissing your lips and gripping at your sweatpants, pulling them down, slowly kissing at your thighs as he did so. “Mmph Kyle~” his eyes flickered up his body sitting up fully now as he watched your hands reach for his own sweatpants, untying the strings. Before pulling them down you slid your hands up his torso again feeling the slight happy trail. Fingers laced under the hem of his pants, pulling them down slowly and almost immediately groaning at the size in his boxers. “Don’t stare..” he groaned and held your face softly pulling down his own boxers earning a soft slap to his lower stomach as his member popped up. Your eyes widened before cleaning your throat and watching his fingers move closer to your underwear. “Can I?” He asked sweetly waiting for your consent to continue. When you nodded he pulled them down your legs. He was almost shaking, he felt his nerves working their up to his stomach as your legs spread open for him. His teeth tugged at his bottom lip whilst lining himself up with you. “If you want me to stop just say it okay? Please.” You nodded “I know Kyle I know it’s okay, I’m okay” he nodded at your statement, his hands finding yours to place them beside your head, squeezing them as he pushed himself further and further into you. His head hung low for a moment, lips slightly agape as he squeezed his eyes shut “fuck..”
He spoke breathlessly, his face hiding in the crook of your neck. He stayed still for a moment, waiting for you to adjust. When you tapped his shoulder blade he slowly began to move, his lips attached to your neck, shivering at the feeling of your nails gripping at his back, dragging down to his sides to hold onto him as he continued to move. “Feels.. so good..” he mumbled against you, his arms pushed himself half way up, his hips rocking back and forth in a painfully slow pace. “Ky more, m-more please go faster” you Practically begged him, clenching around him as his hips snapped against yours in quick ruts. Kyle lifted himself up fully, grabbing your legs and placing them over his shoulders, his hands coming back down to rest at either side of your waist whilst his eyes stared into yours. He was half lidded, lips pulled tight between his teeth “i’m close.. so close, cum with me please I w-wanna feel you cum on me” he whispered, his moans so beautiful. His thrusts became sloppier though he tried to keep his quick pace his hips would snap and stutter occasionally and when your hands came to either side of his face pulling him into a kiss, he whimpered. His body tingling all over. It wasn’t long before you were calling out his name, legs wrapped around him fully and cumming in unison. Your hands tangled in his curls, his own hands gripping at your hips, trying so desperately to push and bury his cock deeper into your warmth. When he pulled out he practically groaned at his load dripping out of you. “I guess that’s one way to tell your best friend you like them” you giggled tiredly, your fingers tracing at his forearm. Kyle smirked softly before getting ready to clean you up “so..” he was quiet for a moment, softly wiping down your body. “Do you like me?” You pushed his shoulder a bit “of course you idiot, I’ve liked you for like ever, just never knew how to tell you” you spoke quietly, letting him finish cleaning you up. When he was done he laid down beside you, pulling the covers up over yours and his shoulder. “You think you’ll parents will kill me if they find me in your bed?” You looked back at him, wiggling yourself into his body. “I’ll tell them your parents had a fight so you came to stay” you smiled gently at him, gripping his hand and pulling it so it wrapped around your body. There was silence.
“I love you.” Kyle spoke groggily.
You smiled, a blush creeping to your cheeks.
“I love you too Ky”
#🃏 anon#south park x reader#south park x y/n#south park x you#kyle broflovski x reader#kyle broflovski x y/n#south park hcs#south park headcanons#south park#south park fanfiction
242 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bunny poly headcanons
I know it took a long time but I hope this makes up for it! But I have moved into my new place and I’m feeling more better than before! I hope these headcanons make up as an apology for my absence.
SFW
• Nobody in South Park College thought that you would be dating both Kenny and Butters.
• Butters and Kenny had a talk before confessing to you about their feelings and with mutual communication and understand you three decided to be in a poly relationship
• Butters is the one to always initiate cuddle time and has blankets ready to proceed. Butters constantly thinks about you and Kenny and wants you both to have a relaxing time after an exam or doing a hard project in class
• Kenny is a natural flirt he loves teasing you and Butters often in public and in private. However, Kenny can be territorial when it comes his partners so be prepared to have a hickey on your body when you leave the home including butters.
• Butters and Kenny doesn’t appreciate when anyone bullies you because you’re dating them even when it’s Cartman. Butters had knocked his out once after he was ripping on you for being with him and Kenny joined in on the beating because Cartman made you and Butters cry for the words he said about your relationship.
• You three share an apartment now due to the abuse Butters family always put him through and yes Stephen and Linda Stotch hate your guts and Kenny’s for not letting them take Butters back home.
NSFW
• Butters is a switch leaning bottom while Kenny is a switch leaning top. The dynamic in the bedroom is very interesting
• “Oh Y/N you’re so beautiful” Butters will non stop compliment you during sex. He loves it when you ride him and take control. He’s a sensitive switch and loves it when you praise him and call him a good boy. Please run your fingers in his hair. He loves melting to yours and Kenny’s touch.
• “Fuck baby you’re too gorgeous” Kenny will praise you and Butters non stop during sex. He loves to worship both of y’all’s bodies during it even marking it up. But when there’s a time for him to bottom he becomes a whiny bottom that wants so much affection and just overall love. Kenny does like receiving love once in awhile but he loves giving you and Butters so much affection
• There will be a time where you guys skip class one day so you three can have sex in an empty classroom. Double penetration can be intense especially if you’re trying to be quiet. Poor Butters worries constantly over someone catching them in the act but he doesn’t care and just loses himself to the pleasure. Kenny can be a jerk during by being too rough and trying to make you moan so you can interrupt classes. He’s a huge risk taker.
• If you have to work Kenny and Butters do make love to each other even suck each other off. Be prepared to get some photos from Kenny and Butters with their cocks touching each other as they pose for the selfie while holding a sign saying “Come home soon Y/n” with love and lust in their eyes
#south park#south park headcanons#south park smut#kenny x butters#kenny x reader#butters x reader#kenny mccormick#butters stotch
344 notes
·
View notes
Text
another reason why kyle is obsessed with making sure cartman remains an asshole
ok so like we’ve talked alllllll about how kyle loves to keep cartman as an asshole bc he’s jealous of him and likes bringing him down a peg AND bc kyle likes using cartman as a pawn in his game to make himself look like the good one in comparison bc he’s a rlly shit person himself. BUT ALSO another reason that i feel like i haven’t touched on or just not as much is bc of kyle’s POSSESSIVENESS over cartman too. we’ve seen repeatedly how whenever cartman cuts kyle out of his life he can snatch up a bitch RLLY easily, which rlly goes to show how much of a chad cartman truly is and how much rizz he has. & i feel like kyle lowkey knows this already, he can sense that girls are actually EXTREMELY attracted to cartman (i mean maybe not in looks but at least in personality), bc i mean kyle is attracted to cartman himself so he gets it LOL. so honestly that’s probably been like one of the #1 reasons kyle has loveeeeeed keeping cartman toxic all this time (whether he consciously realizes it or not) and why in like seasons 1-3 he went out of his way to turn cartman into a monster and wore down his self-esteem over time by projecting all of his terrible traits onto him lol.
it’s also the reason why kyle constantly bitches at cartman to change and be a better person, yet when cartman actually does, he gets mad LOL. kyle knows damn well that cartman has it in him to be a good person and is really nice deep down (and we’ve talked abt how in seasons 1-3 cartman was actually a decent person with empathy 473837282382 times). that’s why he purposely tried to destroy that and made fun of cartman every time he showed his soft wimpy vulnerable side, and why to this day kyle is soooooo fixated on “fixing” cartman bc he knows he’s responsible for making him a monster in the first place lol.
and here’s the thing, kyle’s delusional ass truly believed that cartman being in a happy relationship was impossible. like when he saw cartman with heidi he was all shocked and couldn’t even process it. i love how in s21 when he was trying to sabotage their relationship even the other boys like stan & butters were telling kyle to stay out of it bc heidi just loves cartman and that’s that LOL. bc yeah even when cartman is at his absolute worst being an abusive piece of shit he still has likable qualities and the other boys know this so they didn’t rlly care nor question why heidi wanted to stay with him. and then in the future when kyle sees cartman as a rabbi happily married, his first instinct is to go, “cArtmAn iS jUsT mESsiNg wiTh mE,” as if the idea of cartman building a normal, happy life is so out of the question that it has to be a trick. but the truth is kyle has known all along that cartman can actually be a pretty likable and charming person, and that’s exactly why he’s kept cartman toxic for so long. he was just mad and shocked that his plans to convince everyone cartman is this irredeemable monster and gaslight the wholeass school abt it didn’t work and that there happened to be a girl who could see through cartman’s soul and want to be there for him and help him.
kyle’s obsession with keeping cartman toxic is a subconscious thing he does bc he doesn’t want cartman to become a better person than him, so he can keep cartman allllll to himself and loyal to him and the other boys. i swear stan & kyle both act like they’re these two amazing dudes who are just being friends with cartman to do him a favor bc they feel bad for him, which is complete bs. they obviously need cartman wayyy more than he needs them (hence why cartman can make friends outside the group pretty fast with characters like butters, tweek, and clyde) which has been shown REPEATEDLY. but mainly kyle likes keeping cartman toxic bc he’s in love with him & he doesn’t want cartman to leave his side for someone else bc kyle is lonely af and no girl wants to be with him bc of how annoying and crazy he is LOL. that’s why kyle’s worked sooo damn hard to make sure cartman hates girls as much as he does, like how the two of them would both tease stan in the early seasons for liking wendy (and then later teased kenny for being with tammy too), but yeah when cartman moved on from kyle easily and got a girlfriend just like that 🫰🏼 it rlly showed how all this time KYLE was actually the selfish terrible toxic one who’s bad with women NOT cartman lol.
i also love that subtle moment in “the list” when kyle is all like “who tf cares what the girls think abt our looks” and then cartman backs him up and is like “kyle’s right screw it we have better things to worry about” that says A LOT how cartman & kyle were the only ones who didn’t give a shit abt the girls’ list BUT ALSO how much kyle had cartman under his control over this shit, it shows how whenever kyle would trash women or show disinterest in them (either bc he’s gay or bc he knows he could never be with a girl bc he’s such a toxic loser) cartman felt like he had to join in on that lol. but yeah u can tell that all the way back in s11 cartman still had a little more enthusiasm for girls than kyle did bc cartman got all hooked on the list drama right away when he devised that plan to steal it from the girls lol, AND ALSO the fact that kyle got sooo upset when cartman was ranked above him too and let cartman’s teasing get to him about how ugly & unattractive he is (even tho kyle clearly ain’t ugly), is more evidence that shows how much kyle knows damn well cartman is lowkey attractive AF and can snatch up a bitch easily if he wanted to lol.
57 notes
·
View notes
Note
I saw your twt about holding back on telling stories with serious and deep tones and it reminded me of an issue I had a while back. Im a south park fan and I loved reading deep analysis of the characters. and south park being south park, people dont take it seriously and think its just funny so it doesnt deserve deep analysis like other forms of media. I always came across comments saying "its not that deep" or "doing all of that for south park" and I used to hate that so much because why are you commenting that under the authors post? In media there is like a "spectrum" of how deep you are in it as a fan, and it doesn't make you less of a fan if you like to binge watch the show when you feel like it because its funny. Someone who makes fan fiction and psychoanalyses the characters doesnt make them a better fan than you. I hate "it's not deep" because it is that deep to me, I enjoy it, but it dismisses critical thinking and discourages deep discussions about our interests. I want to learn more about the turning point for eric cartman and the friendship dynamics between the main 4. I want to read psychoanalysis of the characters and understand why they do the things they do. I loved reading fan fics with an author that understood how the characters work and put them in situations while making it believable. Whether the content was deep and serious or lighthearted and silly. I don't see those as cringe at all. What I see as cringe is trying to downplay someones time and effort. you dont care for it. cool, just dont make it our problem.
I believe in recent years, this cringe and its not that deep mentality is linked to media literacy/reading comprehension issues. On top of the fact, that fandoms right now has been "normalized", so alot of mean and rude kids and adults are in this space not having a mature and respectful conversation and discussions, as well as zero fandom etiquette. (I understand the past wasnt this magical respectful place but this behaviour has increased compared to past years).
Please don't worry about making deep content, its super fun and there will be fans of what you write/draw that will definitely be into it.
GOSH anon you are absolutely right. cringe culture has done some serious damage to people's creativity and freedom of expression. doing things in earnest is now cringe to so many people (specifically that 18-21 age where they think they're better than everyone else and everything is cringe to them, image is everything) and they actually give you shit for it?? it's crazy. the most harmless thing in the world. whenever my hey arnold comics would leave my target audience on instagram i would get the meanest comments for no fucking reason, because i was taking hey arnold "seriously" (nevermind that hey arnold is probably the nicktoon with the most emotional depth and moments besides ginger but i digress) but hey at least i'm not the one losing my marbles over some random cartoon comic on the internet.
i think rudeness in general has been too normalized not just in fandom, but in social media in general. it's sad. the only thing you can do about it is be kind as much as you can to counterbalance it. i'd like to think that rubs off on people just like how being rude rubbed off on them.
i said that thing about holding back because i'm admittedly too hard on myself sometimes. no one is calling me cringe or making fun of me for what i do, thankfully, people have been super cool and supportive. and it means a lot to me because i'm very earnest about everything i create, even when i try to hold back. i literally cannot help being myself. it's all i know how to do. i'm just glad i was able to grow a platform where i'm free to be openly passionate about the things i like, talk about them and why i like them, the little things that i find fascinating, the emotions they make me feel, all of that shit is awesome and i wish more people did that.
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
sp main 4 with a reader who has an eating disorder; platonic headcanons
includes: stan, kyle, cartman, and kenny
A/N: kyles and kennys look so much longer than the rest oops LOL, also the ed is restrictive n implied as anorexia but others could fit it too 🤫
stan marsh
he notices when you don't eat your lunch, and how you tend to leave after meals. he doesn't think it's weird though, acknowledging that it's normal to have something not agree with your stomach or just not being hungry.
but, it started to worry him a little as it became more frequent, and how you were losing weight rapidly
he probably doesn't ask about it at first, but sometimes he'll mention little things or try to subtly express concern
"do you not like your lunch? you can have my fries, if you want."
he might confront you about it, and assumes that there's something else going on in your life that's been affecting you. he figures that would explain the lethargy, the dizziness, and how pre-occupied you are.
he has no idea what an eating disorder is.
you have to explain it, and he probably does some research online about what your disorder is and it just kinda. clicks for him. like the puzzle pieces snap into place
he thinks of all the times you've shown symptoms and warning signs, and he feels like a complete asshole for ignoring them
he keeps it in mind afterwards. he'll offer you pieces of his lunch, and invite your family over for dinner. he also reminds you that he's there for you, whatever that means.
he tries to spend more time with you, sort of as a way to ease his mind that you're safe. and he has his mom make your favorite snacks when you two hang out!!
stan tries to be more mindful of his words, and takes other peoples mental health more into consideration. it's kind of a wake-up call to him
"damn, Y/N, you got sand in your vagina? you look awful."
"lay off, cartman."
"what?! i'm just saying! we were all thinking it!"
if you get really dizzy and nearly faint he gets really scared and immediately takes you to the school nurse. like he's very concerned that you're dying or something and falls asleep in the nurses office waiting for you to recover
he doesn't fully understand the disorder, but he still feels really bad about it!!!! he hopes that one day you'll have a better relationship with food. until then, he's happy to do everything he can to make it easier on you
kyle broflovski
he's probably a little ignorant of your symptoms at first, like he'll tell himself in his head that it's probably nothing.
in fact, he probably thinks you're sick. puking, not eating, always tired. he assumes it's just the common cold, and doesn't pry.
he can't help but worry though. bringing your own lunch with barely anything in it, never staying still, always drinking diet drinks. it was little things that added up and made him suspicious
he wants to mind his own business, but he figures he would be a bad friend if he just let you go through whatever you're going through on your own. he has to be there for his friends.
"Y/N? dude, can i talk to you? over here." kyle pulls you out of the hall into a secluded area.
"uhh, yeah, what's up?"
"uh, listen dude, are you sick or something? like, you haven't been eating any of your lunches, and to be honest... you look terrible."
"gee, thanks."
"ah, i didn't mean it like that. you look exhausted, i mean look at your eyebags! is.. is something wrong?"
you struggle to find words.
"yeah, no, i'm.. i've been fine. a cold, is all."
".. are you sure?"
"...yyyeah."
he keeps an eye on you after that, giving a worried look and furrowed brow when you refuse to eat, but you dismiss it every time.
he starts to research online about what could possibly be going on. not eating, always tired, low-energy, regurgitation...
he comes to the conclusion you might have an eating disorder, and he's honestly super lost on where to go from there. does he confront you about it? does he say nothing and leave you alone? is it any of his business?
he decides to start trying to ease his way into conversation by packing you a lunch one day. that way, you have to eat it!
he does little things like that, like following you to the bathroom after lunch or stopping you during laps around the school. it's... a little manipulative, trying to pressure you into cracking or stopping your bad habits. but, he really doesn't know how else to approach this.
once he talks to you about it, he tries his best to be emotionally available for you. he tries to keep his mouth shut and listen to you talk.
afterwards, he'll give you little pats on the shoulder as encouragement, or bring little chocolates from home for you in his lunchbox. he knows he isn't the best with stuff like this, so he tries to show his care by inviting you to play video games at his house.
to him, quality time can be one of the best ways to bond with someone. he's always inviting you to hang out or go out for dinner with his family!
eric cartman
"you gonna eat that?"
"like you need anymore food, fat-boy."
he's mainly confused on why you're acting so weird. it's sloppy joe day, dude. what the fuck are you doing staring at the wall??
most definitely takes the food you don't eat
"dude, Y/N, what crawled up your ass and died? you've been picking at your food all period."
"..nothing."
he huffs and turns back to his tray, mumbling under his breath. "well, fine, be a dick."
if you were to ever pass out, he'd assume you didn't sleep enough or have like. heart issues or something. which wouldn't be that far off
he only really cares if it causes some sort of medical problem or something. like heart disease, fainting and hitting your bead. then atp it gets him a little nervous. mostly because he isn't prepared to rush anyone to the er anytime soon
it bugs him. like it gradually gets more and more under his skin how you're obviously starving yourself. yeah, he knows. and he wish he didn't, because it's so confusing to him
why???? what is the purpose??????
honestly might subtly try to talk to stan or kenny about it. not cuz he cares. definitely not
"have you noticed Y/N lately??"
"what about them?"
he sighs. "god, you really haven't noticed? they're totally ana-recks-it or whatever it's called. they hurl in the bathroom after lunch every day."
it's kind of hard for him to grasp his mind around,,,, so he chooses to ignore it. it still pisses him off though to no avail
he knows a bit about eating disorders from the internet and stuff, and that you're probably doing it out of insecurity or something. he really doesn't care about that part, but your habits gradually annoy him more and more
sometimes he'll just. push food to you at the lunch table. and when you ask why he's like huffing and reaches to take it back like "well damn i'll have it myself then"
he does get actually concerned if you get super light-headed or something. like if you stand up from your seat and fall back gripping your head he'll look at you from across the room all curious
and might take you to the nurse if nobody else will. maybe
kenny mccormick
yeah, he notices. he doesn't bring it up very often, how you don't eat a lot at lunch, mainly to save you any embarrassment.
he honestly just assumes you don't eat around him in particular out of sympathy. he thinks that you see his measly sandwich and apple and don't eat out of guilt. which he himself feels really bad about
tries to ask you what's wrong and ask if you don't want your food,, but tries not to make a big deal out of it
observes you a little closer, taking mental note of your weird little behaviors. going to the bathroom frequently, always walking, never quite seeming comfortable at your lunch table. he couldn't put his finger on it!
it was one day when you fainted and had to be sent to the nurses office that he pieced it together. he hadn't learned a lot about eating disorders, only a few bits and pieces off the web.
he felt guilty, for some reason. like he had failed you as a friend
i feel like if he were to confront you about it, he'd do it in a subtle way, not like an interrogation. he already feels like he's invading your privacy by mentioning it!!
he might bring it up while you're playing video games in your room. "mmph, mmmph? mm mm mmph mph mmphph? (hey, Y/N? can i ask you something?")
you pause the split-screen game you two were playing and look at him. "sure dude, go for it."
he looks around a little before his eyes land back on you. "mmphh.... mph mmphph mph mmph mph mmph mmphph mppphpm mmph mmmph. (so, i wanted to talk to you about something really important.")
you raise your eyebrow a little. "ookay."
he fidgets a little. "mph... mph mph mmphph? mmph.. mp mmph mph mphph mhp mmfmf mmphph mmphph. mmph mph? (well... are you okay? i've noticed you've been kinda distant lately. what's up?")
you feel your heart drop a bit, anxiety starting to swell. "uh.. i've been fine, i don't know what you're talking about."
his eyes look a little rejected, but he keeps trying. "mm.. mphm mph mphph mmf mm mph mph mmph mph. mp.. mp mph mmf mmf.. mphpmf mphhfm? mph mmmphph?(uh.. i'm just gonna say it. do.. do you have like.. eating problems? a disorder?")
he appreciates that you're talking to him about it, even if you're being honest or not.
he won't treat you differently afterwards. he'll give you a good pat on the back and a smile (you can only tell by the crinkle of his eyes), but he treats you the same.
he'll point out your funky mannerisms even less, and reminds you that you can talk to him. he isn't great at talking but he's great at listening!!!! also tries to be nicer to you. but he doesn't do it consciously, he just feels more of an urge to help you out and even protect you. specifically from cartman.
#south park#sp x reader#south park x reader#sp fandom#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#eric cartman x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#platonic south park x reader#platonic sp x reader#sp headcanons#pineappleciders
584 notes
·
View notes
Text
[TWO] — The haunted shed
☆ `` SPECTRAL SCAMMERS ``
☆ — summary: when cartman comes up with yet another 'get rich quick' scheme, he forces his friends, and you, into starting a ghost hunting service. armed with a mix of makeshift equipment, a questionable van and no actual skills, you begin taking jobs to "exorcise" haunted houses.
warnings: strong language, cartman being cartman
(a/n): it's so short and it feels pretty bland, but I'll try to get better and make the chapters longer :(( also, it looks like there's no ghosts in this chapter! at least for now.
wc: 2.7k+
★m.list
★series m.list
<- [PREVIOUS] — [NEXT] -> (uncompleted)
The next day, you all met in Cartman's basement, which now served as your official 'Specter Squad Headquarters'. Cartman paced in front of the whiteboard, still scribbled with your chaotic business plan, a smirk glued to his face.
"Ladies and gentlemen..." He began, pausing for a dramatic effect. "We have our first job!"
Everyone exchanged uneasy glances, except for Tweek, who was already trembling.
"Who's the poor sucker?" Stan asked, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
Cartman waved his phone in the air proudly. "My mom's friend's neighbor. Apparently, their shed is haunted by some ghostly menace. Creepy noises, things getting knocked over, the whole paranormal package!"
Kyle frowned sitting on the edge of the couch with his arms resting on his knees. "Let me guess. You told them we'd take care of it for a ridiculous amount of money?"
"$50." Cartman replied with a smug look on his face.
"Fifty bucks for a shed?!" Kyle repeated, eyes wide.
"Hey, ghost insurance isn't cheap." Cartman shot back. "Do you even know how much ectoplasm containment costs? Exactly. I'm giving them a good deal."
You snorted, leaning back on the couch. "More like you're scamming them. What's next, charging a consultation fee?"
"That's not a bad idea..." Cartman muttered, trailing off as he mentally added it to his list.
Stan sighed. "Alright, so what's the plan? Just show up, wave a flashlight around and hope no one notices we're full of crap?"
"Uh, no, Stan." Cartman replied, rolling his eyes. "We need equipment. Real ghost hunting tools! If we show up empty handed, we'll look like amateurs."
"We are amateurs." Craig pointed out, but Cartman ignored him.
...
Within minutes, you all had rummaged through the basement for anything that could count as equipment. Flashlights were passed around, most of them barely functioning, as Cartman dragged a vacuum cleaner from a corner.
"This." He started, holding it up. "Is our spirit vacuum. It sucks up ghosts and traps them inside."
"That's literally just a vacuum." You stared at Cartman, crossing your arms.
"Not anymore." Cartman declared with a smirk, sticking a few glow in the dark star stickers on its side. "Now it's paranormal tech. You're welcome!"
"This is so stupid." Kyle groaned, running a hand down his face.
"You're stupid!" Cartman snapped. "But guess what? The customers don't care. They just want results. And results are exactly what we're gonna give them. Fake or not!"
You grabbed one of the flashlights, testing it's weak glow before glancing at Kyle. "You think this thing's gonna last the night?"
"Not a chance." Kyle shook his head, the corners of his lips tugging upwards, forming a faint smile.
His gaze was fixed on you for a moment longer than necessary as you felt heat rushing to your cheeks.
"Alright, lovebirds!" Cartman interrupted, snapping his fingers in your direction. "Save the awkward flirting for later. We've got ghosts to catch!"
"We weren't-" You quickly spoke up, but Cartman was already moving on.
.
.
.
The group assembled just outside the neighbor's picked fence. Cartman stood at the front with his back straightened and a clipboard in hand.
"Alright, listen up." He began, his voice hushed. "This is our first gig, so we're going to nail it. No screw ups, no whining, and definitely no blowing our cover."
"Cover? You mean the fact that we're not actual ghost hunters?" Stan raised an eyebrow.
Cartman glared at him. "Exactly. So shut up and follow my lead." He turned back to face the house, his face lighting up with smug confidence.
You all exchanged glances but followed him up the driveway anyway. You stayed close to Kyle, who was mumbling under his breath.
"This is going to be a disaster." He muttered, his hands shoved into his pockets.
"Probably." You agreed, giving him a small smile. "At least it'll be entertaining, right?"
"You have a weird definition of 'entertaining'." Kyle glanced at you, the corners of his lips tugging upwards.
Before you could respond, Cartman knocked loudly on the front door. A moment later, it creaked open to reveal a middle aged woman with dark circles under her eyes.
"Thank goodness you're here!" She exclaimed. "It's been awful! Just awful!"
"Ma'am, you made the right choice calling the Specter Squad. We're South Park's best paranormal investigators, and we're here to solve your ghost problem." Cartman faked a professional tone, which wasn't really convincing.
"Oh, I just don't know what's in that shed. Every night, I hear the strangest noises... Scratching, banging, sometimes even growling... It's terrifying!"
"Sounds like raccoons..." Kyle muttered under his breath.
Cartman elbowed him sharply, giving the woman a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, ma'am. We've dealt with worse. Now let's talk about payment..."
"Payment?" The woman blinked, caught off guard as her brows raised in surprise.
"Of course! Ghost hunting isn't cheap, you know. We've got specialized equipment, years of experience-"
"Years?" Clyde interrupted, but Cartman ignored him.
"And we offer a guarantee of satisfaction. For a case like this, we'll charge a base fee of $50."
"Alright... Fifty... But only if you can get rid of whatever's out there." She hesitated, looking towards each of you in the group.
"Deal!" Cartman exclaimed, sticking out his hand. She shook it hesitantly before leading the group around the side of the house and into the backyard.
.
.
The shed came into view, at the far end of the yard. It was old, its wooden walls splintered, with rusted hinges hanging off the door.
Cartman took a deep breath, clipboard clutched to his chest. "Alright, this is it. Stan, [Y/N], you investigate the area. Kyle, you're with me. Clyde and Kenny, guard the door. Craig, Tweek- uh... Just stand there and look useful."
"This is a bad i-idea! What if it's not a ghost?! What if it's like, a demon or something?!" Tweek panicked, fidgeting nervously.
"It's not a demon." Craig replied flatly, but even he looked a bit uneasy.
You and Stan both glanced at each other as you both began walking around the shed, flashlights in hand.
"So... What do you think we're actually dealing with here?" You asked as you waved your flashlight around.
"Probably racoons." Stan answered with a shrug. "But knowing Cartman, he'll find a way to make it sound like a ghost."
"That sounds about right." You smiled softly.
On the other side, Cartman was crouched, pretending to examine the ground. Kyle stood nearby, arms crossed as he had a tired expression on his face.
"What exactly are you looking for?" Kyle asked as he sighed loudly.
"Ectoplasmic traces." Cartman replied, nodding to himself.
"You don't even know what that means." Kyle ran a hand over his face, sighing for the nth time that day.
"Shut up Jew! I know what I'm doing."
Kyle rolled his eyes but gazed at you when your flashlight beam caught something shining in the grass.
"What's that?" He asked, walking over to join you.
You bent down and picked up the small, glinting object. A broken piece of metal that looked like it had come from the shed's roof.
"Probably nothing." You responded as you held it up for him to see.
He leaned closer, his face inches away from yours.
"Still, good eye."
You felt heat rushing up to your cheeks, but before you could say something, Cartman's voice cut through your sweet moment.
"Alright, idiots! Enough playing around. Let's get inside and find this ghost!"
...
The shed's door creaked loudly as you pushed it open, earning a whimper from Tweek. Your flashlight glow cut through the dark, revealing cobweb, scattered tools and a floor with littered leaves. You quickly turned off your flashlight as you looked away from the sight.
"Alright assholes, try not to screw up." Cartman declared, clipboard in hand as he gestured towards the shed.
"We have to act professional!" He whisper yelled, eyes narrowing.
"How professional can we look with a broken vacuum and dollar store flashlights?" Craig muttered, but his words were drowned by Cartman's loud, fake cough.
"Why do I feel like this is going to be a disaster?" Clyde mumbled, rubbing his arms for warmth.
"It's always a disaster when Cartman's in charge." Kyle replied in a dry tone.
You smirked, catching the way Kyle's gaze studied the shed. He glanced at you, his eyes softening, though only for a moment, the tension in the air didn't feel so heavy.
"Are we doing this or not?" Craig asked impatiently as he crossed his arms.
"Yes, Craig, we're doing this. But first, we need to assert dominance!" Cartman sighed out in an exaggerated way.
"Dominance?" You repeated, raising an eyebrow.
"I like how that sounds." Kenny snickered, and so did Clyde as he nudged Kenny's shoulder.
"You don't just walk into a ghost's lair! You have to show it who's boss!" Cartman pointed at the shed dramatically.
"We're ghost hunters, not wrestlers." Stan stated as Craig chuckled.
Ignoring him, Cartman turned to the neighbor, who was watching nervously from her back porch.
"Ma'am, we're going in. We've got this under control." Cartman spoke up confidently.
"Please... Just be careful." The woman clutched her cardigan tightly as she nodded. "It's been making horrible noise lately."
"No worries, we'll take care of it. By the way, there's a $10 fee for ghost insurance in case it tries to follow us home."
"Ghost insurance?" Kyle repeated, squinting his eyes at Cartman.
"Do you want to get haunted, Kyle? Didn't think so." Cartman shot him a glare.
...
The group gathered their supplies, which were only some barely working flashlights, an old vacuum cleaner Cartman had given the title of 'Spirit Sucker 3000', and a few random tools from Clyde's garage.
"I still don't understand how this is supposed to work..." Tweek muttered, holding his flashlight like it might explode.
"It works because I said it works." Cartman replied, adjusting the vacuum strap on his shoulder.
You rolled your eyes and turned on your flashlight again. The shed wasn't particularly big, but the barely standing wood made it seem more sinister. Plus the cobwebs, creepy old tools and leaves left on the floor.
"Let's just get this over with." Craig sighed as he stepped up to the door.
"Hold up! The leader goes first!" Cartman held up a hand to stop him.
"You're not the leader." Kyle shot back.
"Yes, I am!" Cartman snapped. "I made the website, I set up the payment system, and I'm the only one here who isn't a total pussy!"
"Fine. Go ahead, fearless leader." Craig mocked.
Cartman smirked as he confidently pushed the door further and stepped inside.
...
The air inside was heavy and barely breatheable, carrying the scent of mold and rotting wood. Your flashlight flickered as you swept it across the space, revealing shelves packed with rusted tools and boxes stacked carelessly.
"Wow..." Kenny's eyes scanned the area. "This place is charming."
"Spread out, assholes! We're looking for signs of paranormal activity!" Cartman waved his clipboard dramatically.
"What exactly counts as a sign?" Stan asked as he stares at a random jar with unidentifiable substances.
"Anything spooky." Cartman answered simply. "Weird sounds, cold spots, glowing slime... You know, ghost stuff."
"You're making this up as you go, aren't you?" Kyle groaned.
"Shut up, Kyle! Do your job!" Cartman yelled.
You held back a laugh as Kyle mumbled something under his breath. When he caught your eye, his gaze softened, giving you a small smile that made your heart pound in your chest.
...
You all explored different corners of the shed, examining and looking out for 'spooky stuff'.
You crouched near a stack of boxes, brushing away cobwebs to get a closer look. The wood beneath your fingers felt slightly wet and splintered. You noticed a faint light coming from above.
"Hey..." You called out, shining your flashlight towards the roof, standing up. "There's a hole up here."
Kyle joined you, squinting up at the opening. "That could explain the noises. If wind's getting in, it might make the walls creak."
"Or it could be the ghost's escape route." Cartman interrupted, scribbling something on his clipboard.
"Pretty sure ghosts don't need escape routes." You sighed.
Cartman ignored you, turning his attention to a nearby workbench.
Kyle stood by your side, tilting his head thoughtfully as he examined the roof. "Good catch." He praised, his voice quieter now.
"Thanks." You replied, smiling to yourself like an idiot as you felt your cheeks warm up.
All of the sudden, a loud crash echoed from the back of the shed.
"What was that?!" Tweek yelped, clutching his flashlight like a weapon.
"Relax." Kenny spoke up, moving towards the source of the noise. "It's probably just-"
His words cut off as he stumbled upon a crate.
Kenny crouched down, shining his flashlight on the wooden box. It was old and had a loose lid that looked like it hadn't been touched in years.
"What do you think's in it?" Clyde asked, creeping over Stan's shoulder.
"Only one way to find out." Kenny replied, slowly taking the lid off.
Inside was a trio of small and furry bodies. Wide eyes reflected the flashlight glow as tiny claws scratched against the wood.
"Aww, raccoons!" Kenny cooed as he pouted. "They're adorable!"
"They're so cute!" You purred as you admired them. They were so small and it could fit perfectly in your palm!
"I wanna pet them." Kenny said as he reached out to pick one up.
The once cuddly creatures now hissed loudly, lounging at him with surprising speed.
Kenny screeched, stumbling backwards as the raccoon latched onto his sleeve.
The other two raccoons bolted from the crate, darting across the shed.
"Jesus Christ!" Stan yelled, jumping out of the way.
"Get it off! Get it off me!" Kenny screamed, waving his arm around crazily as the raccoon kept clinging onto his sleeve.
"Stop moving!" You shouted, grabbing a broom and trying to swat the raccoon away. It hissed at you, revealing its sharp teeth.
Another raccoon climbed onto a shelf, knocking over jars and sending their contents crashing to the floor. Tweek jumped onto a crate to avoid the mess, grabbing at his hair.
"Where are they coming from?!" Cartman swung his flashlight around wildly.
"They're everywhere!" Craig noted, dodging another raccoon as it ran past him.
"We need to get them out of here!" Kyle tried to block one of the raccoons' paths.
"And how do you suggest we do that?" Stan yelled, ducking as another jar flew above his head.
"Loud noises!" Cartman quickly grabbed a rusty pot from a workbench. "Scare them out!"
You didn't have a better idea, so you grabbed a pan and started banging it against the broom handle. The others quickly followed, grabbing tools and smashing them into anything, clangs echoing through the shed.
Tweek kept flinching at the loud noise, but he also followed and helped the rest.
The raccoons screeched in protest, before finally rushing out the hole in the roof.
"Victory!" Cartman shouted proudly, slamming his pot.
You lowered your makeshift drumstick, panting from the effort. Kyle was standing beside you, his face flushed.
"Nice work." He nudged your shoulder lightly.
"Not bad yourself..." You replied, smiling despite what just happened.
.
.
You all stumbled out of the shed, disheveled but successful. The neighbor was waiting in the yard, fidgeting nervously.
"Well? Did you get rid of it?" She asked, nibbling on her bottom lip.
Cartman puffed out his chest, clipboard in hand. "It was a tough case." He started dramatically. "But yes, the ghost has been banished. You're welcome."
"Oh, thank you!" She exclaimed, reaching out for her wallet.
"Now, about the payment..." Cartman stopped her, holding up a finger. "It was an agressive spirit, so we're charging an extra $10 for chaos pay."
The woman hesitated but handed over the cash either way.
As you all walked away, Cartman grinned joyfully, stuffing the money into his pocket.
"First job: complete. We're officially ghost hunters, bitches!"
★yoyomiko ★miko
#reader#x reader#reader insert#f!reader#fem!reader#female reader#x reader insert#south park#south park x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#stan marsh x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#eric cartman x reader#craig tucker x reader#tweek tweak x reader#clyde donovan x reader#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#kenny mccormick#craig tucker#tweek tweak#clyde donovan#kyle x reader#stan x reader#kenny x reader#craig x reader#tweek x reader#clyde x reader#★yoyomiko#★miko
27 notes
·
View notes