#trust your own judgement always. but never about your own art

[zu-is-here]

Hi! I'm a healing antishipper, as of somewhat recently. I always hated the idea of it. I found your blog a while back and thought your UTMV art was incredible. I remember you posting some Dreammare, which made me pause. I found myself thinking it was cute, and my inner self was like 'shouldn't this feel weird?' but it never really did. I went to other blogs and specifically searched up proshipping and Dreammare to see their stance on things, and to my surprise, I found more proshippers, as well as people who were more in the middle. But most people I followed were antis. I explored the topic more and have thought long and hard about it before. As of now, I'm not really a proshipper, but I do enjoy Dreammare, drawing, writing, and reading about it, but I keep them all private. I don't hate proshippers at all, and if tags or topics make me uncomfortable, I just block them. It's scary being in this grey area though, because many of my favourite artists and friends are antis, hence why I'm doing this anonymously so that my mutuals and people I follow don't think I'm gross. I just wish people would let people ship what they ship because fiction≠reality. It saddens me that people dehumanize and bully people who are proshippers and it makes me scared about enjoying Dreammare. But I just wanted to say I'm grateful for your blog, because you have no judgement in ships and I feel safe here. You're doing great work Zu, I'm so happy I found you!

Hii!╰(*´︶`*)╯

Thank you so much for waiting, and for your kindest words too (〃ω〃) I'm so happy that you've found not only a safe place for yourself, but also yourself ♡

I know how hard it is to remain “good” for others — and true to your own interests. You're already doing the right thing by respecting others' choice and taking care of your own media experience (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

Trust me, you're not disgusting for what you love. I do hope more people will understand this simple truth, and I'm looking forward to seeing your beautiful works one day (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) Keep it up! ☆

[redbleedingrose]

Girl Dad!Eris x Reader and The Henna Chronicles

+ a mood board

A/N: No one asked for this, but you are getting it anyway!

okay lemme tell you, Eris is obsessed with mendhi. He grew up seeing his mother wearing henna all the time, and he loves the intricate designs that one can use to express their emotions and their souls.

Beron firmly was against Eris pursuing artistic expression, and so Eris never really got to try putting henna on others until you.

He cannot get enough of the way you look while wearing mendhi. Your wedding night henna is still ingrained in his mind, the way it extended from your fingers all the way up to your forearms with autumn leave print, vines, and different flowers, to the way the henna on your feet extended from your toes up to your knees.

They almost look like fae tattoos, but Eris gets anxious at the thought of you having those. It is not that he doesn't trust you, he trusts your judgement completely. But he sure does not trust others to hold up to their end of the deal, and thus Eris doesn't ever give you any reasons to make promises to others.

The only three indigo ink tattoos you have from promises made are from when you bound your soul with Eris at your mating ceremony, accepting him as your mate, promising to love and cherish him for the rest of your shared lives, and the the promises that you made to each of your babes, Marwa and Twila. A promise to love and protect them with your entire being, to attempt to be the best mother for them, to provide a home that is engulfed with joy and laughter.

Anyway, Eris here, is a little artist. Male knows exactly how to hold a henna cone, and how to use the right amount of pressure to make the designs that he has in his head. You are his first model, and he uses henna to create designs all over you. There is something about you being a piece of art to him, and then having part of his own creativity temporarily etched into your skin that has him on his knees nearly every night for you.

Ugh, and when the babes are born????

He starts to do little designs on them as well. Their little chubby hands always have some sort of design on them, and when they fall asleep in your arms, he will attempt to do designs on their small tubby feet. He might have to ignore you glaring at him because you are terrified the babes will wake from his minstrations, but they never do. Maybe its the fact that they feel completely safe in the presence of their mama and papa, or maybe its the fact that Er can use just enough pressure to get the henna onto their skin, but not enough to tickle their feet.

As the babes grow older, the love waking up to the designs their papa has created for them, often climbing into each others beds before coming to your room to babble about comparisins in the designs they have on their little feetsies and hands. They love to "ooo" and "aah" at each other, and ugh.

On a side note, Marwa and Twila are literal besties. The way they talk to each other, so soft and gentle, kind and sweet, is the most adorable thing. Even when they were infants, they would babble at each other like they completely understood what the other was saying. They would be having full conversations with themselves in baby talk. You and Er would turn it into a game, trying to guess what the 7 month old girls could possibly have to be ranting about at their little age.

Anyway, here are some of the designs that Eris has created on you and your babes. They are so cute and sweet. And I just love girl dad!Eris.

[mari-lair]

It’s wild when I see people say Aoi is written only to be Akane’s love interest, cause Akane never hid that he is her boy.

He goes the extra mile just for a hint of her attention and had given the classic childhood friend heroine speech of "I’ll love my crush even if they never look my way."

It's framed as a joke but he is genuinely happy as long as Aoi exist, he can enjoy his life and look forward to all his days no matter how shitty they are (Teru bullies him, the clock keepers work him dry, he gets rejected constantly, and so on,) as long as Aoi is alive and happy.

He is ridiculously easy to please when it comes to Aoi.

And while Aoi does loves Akane, visibly being affected by him: As seen by her possessive attitude, her wish to be closer to him, and the way his hard work influenced her, she doesn’t try or want her world to revolve around him.

Yes, she will cry and crumble if he doesn’t like her because she cares deeply, their relationship is a solid part of her character, but she has plenty of hobbies and plans without him, most of her problems are caused by herself or society's views and expectations of her, she wouldn’t do what Akane asks of her or change for him, not unless he is asking for something she also wants for herself.

Let’s compare how they talk about each other for a bit.

The only time Aoi talks about her feelings for Akane is in chapter 84, which is very far into the manga.

And this exposition shows her envious and insecure side, how she admires kindness and wishes she was as lovable: It shows a conflict that says as much about Aoi’s character as it does about Akane’s character.

Meanwhile, Akane consistently talks about her, and most of his expositions don’t offer any substance to his character, other than “he is in love”.

The only exposition that says as much about himself as it does about Aoi is the one in chapter 24, which shows he stalks her, and Aoi encourages it, since she trusts him, and unfortunately, she have been in need of constant protection from a young age:

Even when Akane explicitly says he’ll talk about himself.

He doesn’t.

He  proceeds to spend the whole chapter talking about Aoi.

The only thing he says about himself in that entire rant is “I hate that part of you”, which he later admits was a lie, something that he used to have her stay and listen.

He isn’t just her boy, he has a life outside her, a very busy life.

As Aoi put it, “He works hard and is dutiful.” which mostly translates to ‘helpful and trust worthy’, so he is constantly seen giving other characters advise that works or making them snap out of their bullshit: He is the reliable one.

His classmates respect him , Teru trusts his judgement, and hell even Kou, who barely interacted with Akane had called him and not a close friend like Nene, when he felt powerless and needed help.

But no matter how seriously he may take his duties or want to help people, Akane has decided he was born to love and protect Aoi.

That’s his priority, always.

His only long term goals involve Aoi, he devoted all his heart and soul to her.

If she wanted Akane to change his style to clothes he would never wear on his own, or make him get into new hobbies, or tell him to score lower than her, he would do it right away: He is comfortable being her boy, he’ll throw his pride away with no hesitation for her and do anything to make her happy to an extreme even most ‘heroines’ I see wouldn’t cross.

The one thing Aoi made VERY clear despite never saying out loud is “Keep your eyes on me. Don’t flirt with anyone else.” and that’s a wish that Akane took to heart, to the point that he is the only character that stays ‘loyal’ to his love interest even on silly extra events, like the ‘kiss day’ arts.

Everyone else send a kiss, no matter if they have a love interest or not, since is just a fun little bonus.

Akane only starts to touch her when he is confident Aoi likes him too: When he assumes she wants him, before that he always kept a certain distance, understanding he ain’t entitled to shit just because they are childhood friends.

Akane is far from perfect, he can be selfish and self centered, his approach to help usually tactless, but at his core, he always seek to do what Aoi wants, no questions asked.

His devotion is extreme to the point of being unhealthy, but he isn’t lying or trying to please Aoi here: As long as she is alive, and enjoying life, he will be delighted doing any of the things she wants. Her best hairstyle in his eyes is always the one she chose to style, the best clothes are always the ones she wants to wear.

There is nothing he likes more than her. Or to make her happy.

Even what Akane loves to do the most, which is to gush about Aoi nonstop until he looks batshit insane, is something that she had encouraged and never complained, no matter how much it escalated, so he was convinced she loved the attention.

Once she is honest and admits she doesn’t like it, he immediately tries to drop it.

He still has an ‘I was born to love you’ mentally, he just stop putting on a show, or trying to make her heart flutter. Most of his displays of worry, affection, or ‘ill protect you’ became either quiet or casual.

...Still.

He can’t help but show his love loudly from time to time, he is cringe at heart, truly hopeless, but he is trying his best.

In short: Aoi is in desperate need for more character focus, but the one determined to make their life revolve around their love interest is clearly Akane.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

I am LIVING for the Chris reblogs. He truly is one of my favorite whumpees of all time. You have mastered the art of a subtle “perfect victim” with him. I may be dead wrong but realistically, what has he done that was even controversial through his whole storyline, you know what I mean? Like just as a few examples of your wonderfully written Not Perfect victims and (this isn’t to victim blame or shame at all,) Jameson did sign up for WRU, his and Kauri’s recoveries were FAR from smooth or perfect, and don’t even get me started on Antoni, yikes! Even Nat, who is doing the lords work now, has a shady past! But Chris genuinely perfect. Even the things he thought were his fault weren’t. And like I said it’s not his main character trait is being THE perfect victim, it’s one of those things that was nicely left not outright said, and for the readers to use critically thinking and I LOVE IT. I think that’s a really difficult feat to pull off and you did a fantastic job.

Also like I said I may be dead wrong but I genuinely can’t think of one true misdemeanor committed by Chris.

Having said all of that I also love all of the character flaws you bestow upon the rest of the gang! Either them being fucked up before, or the aftermath of all of the traumatic experiences leaving them fucked up and with significantly poorer judgements that lead to them getting in situations they maybe would not have if it wasn’t for having a new and definitely not improved way of thinking! Okay, yap over. Keep up the great work!!

So this is kind of an interesting thing for me, because I really do try as much as I can to steer away from that "perfect victim" archetype, but Chris kind of fell into it despite how hard I tried not to have him do that.

His basic disposition was always going to be a sweet kid who had been absolutely tortured and who had nonetheless come out of it with a resilience that would allow him to start rebuilding from that shattered foundation.

Unfortunately, it does mean that he didn't end up with a lot of the more kind of exciting to write and interesting faults and imperfections and occasionally outright malevolence that I have in other characters who are not bad guys, they're just people who had to do bad things to survive horrifying situations.

But of course, the biggest impact there as far as Chris's story is that he never saved himself. He didn't do anything against his own moral code to escape. He was saved by a woman who realized what she was looking at, driven several hours in the middle of the night by a man he'd never met before, and dropped on the doorstep of a whole new group of strangers he had no idea whether or not he could trust.

So Chris does hit that damsel in distress archetype in a way that I don't normally like to go for in main characters. But he really insisted on it, and I think there's this thing about archetypes where we see them so often that we get kind of tired of them, but one of the reasons we do see them so often is because they resonate. And there really are people like that in the world, not everybody of course.. probably not even most people put in the same situation would react the way that he reacted to things. But people do.

And what Chris did to survive was pull back inside of himself so thoroughly that when he started to come out of his shell, all the basic goodness in him was more or less intact and untouched. They could destroy so much of him, but they could never make him anything less than inherently a good kid in a bad situation.

If you were to ask chris, he would probably tell you that the biggest character flaw in him is cowardice, because even as an adult he doesn't really fully understand why he has the freeze and fawn, and hates himself a little for never having been able to fight in any real way. He would call himself a coward, not just for not fighting back but also for the times he's been too afraid, like when he walked away from Rafael the first time they met. That he was able to screw up the courage in the museum to talk to him then was an enormous feat of bravery for Chris. He was absolutely wrecked for days afterward. It took everything he had in him to do it.

[seriiousgiirl]

𝒴𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒶 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝑜

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ݁𝒽𝒾𝑔𝒽 𝓃𝑜𝑜𝓃!𝒿𝒽𝒾𝓃 𝓍 𝓈𝒽𝑒𝓇𝒾𝒻𝒻!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇.⊹ ₊ ݁.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓃𝓉 . ⊹ ₊ ݁. cowboy!au, enemies to lovers, tension, mutual pining, partners in crime, nsfw!!

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ���𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 . ⊹ ₊ ݁. In the dusty frontier town of Frontier Dusk, Sheriff Y/n and her partner Caitlyn face a series of escalating crimes that lead them to a desperate decision: to seek the help of Jhin, a notorious assassin known for his chilling artistry in murder. Despite their mutual disdain and complicated past, Y/n reluctantly hires Jhin, who proves to be both a formidable ally and an enigmatic presence in her life.

➜ ┊ a/n: Jhin might be a lil OOC, I’m sorry in advance!!!! But he is still his flamboyant self.♡ But I actually don't expect a lot of people to read this.

➜ ┊: oneshot ⋅ 14K words.

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting an orange glow over the dusty streets of Frontier Dusk. 

Shadows lengthened, creeping over the wooden buildings and silent alleyways. The town was eerily quiet, save for the occasional rustle of tumbleweeds tumbling lazily down the main thoroughfare and the distant, mournful call of a coyote.

You leaned against the worn wooden railing of the sheriff's office, eyes narrowed as you scanned the street for any signs of trouble. The rough-hewn boards creaked under your weight, a familiar and oddly comforting sound. Beside you, Caitlyn, your trusted partner, adjusted her wide-brimmed hat and sighed, her breath visible in the cooling evening air.

"It's too quiet," Caitlyn muttered, her sharp blue eyes mirroring the concern etched in your own. Her hand hovered near the rifle slung over her shoulder, always ready for action.

You nodded in agreement, your senses on high alert. "Something's brewing. I can feel it."

For weeks, you had been embroiled in a particularly thorny case. What started as simple cattle rustling had escalated into outright violence. Ranchers were finding their livestock slaughtered, and in some cases, their homes burned to the ground. It was clear that someone powerful and ruthless was pulling the strings from the shadows. The townsfolk were terrified, their eyes filled with a mixture of fear and desperation whenever they looked to you for answers. You knew you had to bring the culprits to justice, but every lead you had chased down had turned cold, leaving you at a frustrating standstill.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair, the gesture weary and frustrated. "We might need some outside help on this one."

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow, her expression sceptical. "You don't mean...?"

You looked away, unwilling to meet her piercing, judging gaze. "Yeah. Him."

Jhin. 

The name alone made your skin crawl, conjuring images of shadowy alleyways and whispered rumours of his macabre exploits. He was an assassin, renowned for his deadly precision and his penchant for turning death into an art form. You have worked with Jhin a few times already. Working with him was never a pleasant experience, to say the least. But despite your mutual disdain for each other, there was an odd sort of respect that lingered beneath the surface, buried beneath layers of bickering and taunts.

From the moment you laid eyes on him, you knew that Jhin was trouble. His cold, calculating gaze behind his goggles seemed to pierce right through you, leaving you feeling exposed and vulnerable. And yet, there was something undeniably magnetic about him, a dangerous allure that drew you in despite your better judgement.

It wasn't just his chilling demeanour or the unsettling aura of danger that surrounded him. It was something deeper, something more primal that stirred within you whenever he was near. Perhaps it was the enigmatic mask that obscured his features, hiding whatever emotions lurked behind its cold, expressionless facade. Or perhaps it was the fact that you knew next to nothing about him, while he seemed to know everything about you.

It was an unsettling thought, to say the least. 

Jhin had a way of making you feel like a pawn in his twisted game, manipulating events from the shadows while you stumbled blindly through the darkness. He always seemed one step ahead, his movements calculated and precise, as if he knew exactly how the pieces would fall long before they ever hit the board.

And yet, for all his mystery and intrigue, there was a part of you that couldn't help but be drawn to him. It was a dangerous attraction, one that you knew could lead to nothing but trouble. And yet, you found yourself unable to resist, unable to turn away from the allure of him.

The two of you clashed like oil and water, constantly at odds over even the smallest of details. Every decision was met with resistance, every suggestion met with scepticism. 

But for all your differences, there was one thing you could agree on: getting the job done. And so, begrudgingly, you set aside your differences and worked towards a common goal, each of you pushing the other to be better, to do better, even if it meant enduring endless rounds of bickering and taunts along the way.

And so, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the shadows grew long, you found yourself once again contemplating the unthinkable: reaching out to Jhin for help. It was a decision that filled you with a sense of dread, a realisation that you were willing to make a deal with the devil himself if it meant protecting your town and its people. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and right now…

There was no one more desperate than you.

"I don't like it, Y/n," Caitlyn said, her voice tinged with concern and a hint of reproach. "But if you think it's necessary..."

"I do," you replied, your voice firm and resolute. "We need someone who can get into places we can't, someone who can think like a killer. Jhin is our best shot, as much as I hate to admit it."

Caitlyn nodded slowly, her face set in a grimace of reluctant acceptance. "Alright. But as long as you’re keeping a close eye on him."

"Of course," you agreed, the thought of turning your back on Jhin for even a moment is unthinkable. "I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him."

With a heavy heart, you turned and made your way to the back of the office, where an old, dusty telegraph machine sat on a rickety table. The device had seen better days, its keys worn smooth from years of use. The thought of contacting Jhin made your stomach churn, but there was no other choice. You sat down, the chair creaking under you, and began typing out the message. The clacking of the keys echoed in the silence, each tap a reminder of the gravity of your decision.

‘Jhin. Need your expertise. Meet at dusk, the usual spot. -Y/n’

You sent the message and sat back, feeling a weight settle on your shoulders. The waiting began, each minute stretching into an eternity as the town slipped further into darkness.

✦·┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈·✦

The night was biting cold as you waited under the old oak tree, your usual meeting spot with Jhin. The wind whispered through the branches, rustling the leaves and carrying with it the scent of impending rain. You pulled your coat tighter around you, trying to fend off the chill that seemed to seep into your very bones.

You glanced at the moon, hanging low in the sky, and frowned. Jhin was late. He was never late. Punctuality was one of the few things you could count on with him. You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, the damp earth cold beneath your boots, and wondered if he had even received your message.

Doubt began to creep in. What if something had gone wrong? What if he had decided to ignore your call for help? Despite your mutual disdain and constant bickering, Jhin had always come through before. The idea of him not showing up now, when you needed him most, filled you with a sense of unease—or… was it truly it? 

If you were honest with yourself, you felt a tinge of disappointment, but you decided to ignore that part. 

Finally, you saw a figure emerging from the shadows, moving with an eerie, fluid grace. As he stepped into the pale moonlight, you sucked in a breath. Jhin was covered in blood, his usual orange coat gone, revealing the lean, muscular form encased in a leather outfit. The blood wasn't his; you knew that instinctively. But seeing him like this, you couldn't suppress a wince.

"You're late," you managed to say, trying to keep the shock and irritation out of your voice.

Jhin tilted his head slightly, his mask catching the faint moonlight. "I had something to finish, darling," he said calmly, his voice smooth as ever. "It took more time than I would have wished."

Your eyes flicked to the dark stains on his clothes, your mind trying to piece together what he could have possibly been involved in. "Were you working for someone else?" you asked, concern and a sharp edge to your tone. "I thought I was the only one hiring you."

Jhin chuckled again, the sound sending a chill down your back. "Sheriff, are you... jealous?" he teased, his voice warm and playful. You scoffed, trying to dismiss the thought, but you felt a twinge of truth in his words.

"Don't flatter yourself," you snapped, though you felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up your neck. "I just don't want more trouble in my town."

Jhin's lips curled into a sly grin as he watched your face flush with embarrassment. "Oh, Y/n, I see your jealousy is beginning to show—finally, after all this time," he teased, his voice dripping with amusement. He took another step closer, revelling in the discomfort it caused you.

"Now, now, don't worry your pretty little head," he reassured you, lifting a hand to brush your cheek lightly. "I'm a man of my word, as you well know. And I wouldn't have come all this way to disappoint you, would I?" There was a challenge in his tone, daring you to contradict him.

"As for working for others," he continued, his voice taking on a more serious tone, "what do you expect from an artist? We must draw inspiration from various sources, hone our techniques, and improve our craft. It is the nature of the beast, darling." Jhin stepped closer, the scent of iron and something darker wafting off him. "Every artist needs to take on different projects to refine their skills," he said, his voice silky smooth.

You shook your head, unsure of how to respond. Jhin had always been a thorn to your side, and you couldn't help but question if you had made a mistake by calling for his help. He was dangerous, unpredictable, and he brought with him a tension that made your chest tighten and your knees weak. 

"Please, Jhin," you muttered, shaking your head. "You better not be bringing more trouble to my town."

"Oh, dear Y/n, I would never bring trouble to your little town," Jhin purred, his voice dripping with false sincerity. He moved closer still, looming over you, the heat and power of his body a stark contrast to the chilly night air. "After all, I wouldn't want to give you a reason to put me in cuffs, would I?"

You could almost imagine the smirk on his lips as he said this. 

His hand rose, brushing against your cheek, the feeling of his cold, blood-slick gloves sending a jolt through you. A shiver ran down your spine, and Jhin's eyes gleamed with malicious glee. "I came for you, Sheriff, for this very moment," he whispered, his voice barely audible above the howl of the wind. "Now, unless you want to turn your back on my... skills," he glanced down at his bloodied attire, "you'll let me help you."

He grasped your wrist, his touch both cold and firm, sending electric shocks through your body. "Do not fret, darling. I have come to you, to help you put an end to this trouble, and that is all. There will be no more trouble in your town, I promise you." His gaze trailed up my body, making you feel exposed, vulnerable, and yet, strangely alive. "Though I must say," he purred, "I find it most… entertaining when you need my services."

You yanked your wrist away from his grasp, trying to ignore the lingering sensation of his touch on your skin. "Don't get any ideas, Jhin," you said, your voice firmer than you felt. "This is strictly professional."

He tilted his head, the corners of his mouth curling into a smirk behind his mask. "Oh, but of course. Professional." The word dripped with sarcasm, and he stepped back, giving you a mocking bow. 

You turned sharply, your boots crunching against the frost-covered ground as you began to walk back towards the town. You could feel Jhin's eyes on you, a heavy gaze that made your skin prickle. 

As you briefed him on the case, his responses were measured, precise, and chillingly detached. Yet, despite the bickering and the taunts, you couldn’t help but acknowledge his efficiency. Jhin was a master of his craft, and if anyone could bring down the elusive figures behind the recent wave of violence, it was him.

"So," Jhin said after a moment of silence, his voice cutting through the night air. "Do tell me, darling, what makes this case so... special that you had to seek me out? I imagine it must be quite the conundrum to require my particular set of skills."

You hesitated for a moment before speaking, "The cattle rustling has turned into something much worse. Homes burned, animals slaughtered, families threatened. It's escalating, and we don't have the resources to handle it alone with Cait. We need someone who can think like a killer."

Jhin laughed softly, a sound that sent chills down your spine. "Ah, flattery, Y/n? You do know how to make a man feel appreciated." He looked ahead, his expression hidden but his tone amused. .

“Being compared to a killer isn’t a compliment, Jhin,” you said, pouting.

He glanced at you, the moonlight casting eerie shadows across his mask. "Oh, but it is, my dear Y/n. To think like a killer is to understand the art of finality, the delicate balance between life and death. It's a skill, a gift, one that I possess in abundance."

You rolled your eyes, the tension in your shoulders not entirely dissipating. "Well, let's hope your 'gift' helps us find whoever's behind this. The town's on edge, and we need results fast."

As you continued through the darkened streets, Jhin broke the silence with a casual, almost offhand remark. "I heard an interesting rumour, Y/n. A group of bandits plans to blow up the train bridge tomorrow. They're after the resources arriving on the next train."

You stopped in your tracks, turning to face him, eyes wide with alarm. "What? How do you know this?"

Jhin shrugged, a languid, almost theatrical gesture. "I have my ways, Sheriff. Information is a valuable commodity, after all."

You felt a knot form in your stomach. The train bridge was a vital lifeline for Frontier Dusk, bringing in essential supplies and goods—especially after such accidents. If it were destroyed, the town would be plunged into chaos. "Why didn't you mention this sooner?" you demanded, frustration and fear mingling in your voice.

He tilted his head, his eyes glinting with that familiar, unsettling amusement beneath his glasses. "You didn't ask. Besides, I wanted to see your reaction. Quite satisfying, I must say."

"Jhin, this isn't a game!" You took a step closer, jabbing a finger into his chest. "People's lives are at stake!"

He grasped your wrist, his touch both cold and firm, sending that familiar jolt through your body. "Calm yourself, Y/n… I have no intention of letting these bandits succeed. But we must be strategic."

You pulled your wrist free, glaring at him. "Fine. What's your plan?"

You knew he was smiling, a chilling expression hidden behind his mask. "First, we need to gather more information—to know if it’s just rumours, or an actual plan. We'll visit the local saloons, the places where such rabble might gather. Eavesdrop, listen for any hints or whispers. Then, we strike."

You nodded, feeling the weight of the responsibility pressing down on you. "Alright. Let's start at the Broken Spoke. It's a known hangout for drifters and outlaws."

Jhin inclined his head, his movements graceful and deliberate. "Lead the way, Y/n. The night is young, and we have much to do."

As you headed towards the saloon, your mind raced with possibilities. If Jhin's information was accurate, you had less than a day to prevent a catastrophe. You couldn't afford to waste a single moment. Despite your mistrust of Jhin, you knew you had to rely on his skills and knowledge to stop the bandits.

Entering the Broken Spoke, you felt the eyes of the patrons on you, a mixture of curiosity and wariness. You made your way to the bar, motioning for Jhin to follow. The barkeep looked up as you approached. "What can I get you, Sheriff?" he asked, his voice rough but respectful.

You leaned in, keeping your voice low. "Information. Heard anything about a group planning to blow up the train bridge tomorrow?"

The barkeep's eyes widened slightly, but he kept his composure. "Can't say I have, but you might want to talk to the folks in the back. They tend to know more about... such matters."

You nodded, slipping him a coin. "Thanks."

You and Jhin moved towards the back of the saloon, where a group of rough-looking men were gathered around a table, deep in conversation. As you approached, the chatter died down, and they looked up, suspicion etched on their faces. "Evening, gentlemen," you said, keeping your tone neutral. "Mind if we join you?"

One of the men, a burly figure with a scar running down his cheek, narrowed his eyes. "What do you want, Sheriff?"

You exchanged a glance with Jhin, who gave a barely perceptible nod. "We heard there's a big job going down tomorrow. Something about the train bridge. Thought you might know more."

The men exchanged wary glances, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife. Finally, the scarred man spoke. "Maybe we do. Maybe we don't. What's it to you?"

"It's my job to keep the town safe," you replied evenly. "And if there's trouble coming, I need to know about it."

Jhin stepped forward, his presence somehow both reassuring and menacing. He reached for his belt and slowly pulled out his ornate, custom-crafted gun, placing it on the table with a deliberate clink. The intricate design glinted menacingly in the dim light of the saloon, drawing the attention of everyone present. The room seemed to hold its breath as the men stared at the weapon, their eyes widening with a mix of fear and fascination.

"Perhaps," Jhin said, his voice a smooth, dangerous purr, "we should ensure this conversation remains... productive, like this charming lady asked." His fingers traced the intricate patterns on the gun, emphasising its deadly beauty. "It would be a shame if things were to turn... unpleasant."

The scarred man swallowed hard, his gaze fixed on the gun. "We ain't looking for trouble," he said, his voice wavering slightly. "We just don't want to get caught in the middle of anything."

"Of course," Jhin replied, his tone deceptively gentle. "And neither do we. But you see, we need information. Accurate information. Otherwise," he tapped the barrel of the gun lightly—four times exactly, "we might have to take drastic measures."

You leaned forward, trying to strike a balance between Jhin's intimidation and your need for cooperation. "Look, we just want to stop whatever's planned for the train bridge. Help us out, and you'll be doing the whole town a favour. No one has to get hurt."

The tension in the air was palpable, the other men at the table shifting uneasily under Jhin's piercing gaze. Finally, the scarred man nodded, breaking the silence. "Alright, Sheriff. We heard there's a group of bandits planning to blow up the bridge around noon tomorrow. They're after the supply train coming through. We don't know all the details, but they're serious about it."

"Names," Jhin said, his voice low and commanding. "We need names."

The scarred man hesitated, glancing at his companions before continuing. "The leader goes by Black Jack. He's got a reputation for being ruthless. His crew, they're all seasoned outlaws. They'll be heavily armed and ready for a fight."

You nodded, absorbing the information. "Where are they hiding out?"

"Last we heard, they were camped out in the old mine, just outside of town. It's a good spot for them to plan and gather their explosives."

Jhin leaned back slightly, his fingers still resting on his gun. "Thank you for your cooperation. You've been most helpful."

The men relaxed visibly, relief washing over their faces. "Just... make sure you stop them," the scarred man said. "We don't want any part of their mess."

You stood up, glancing at Jhin, who gave a slight, supportive nod for you to continue. "We'll handle it. And remember, keep this to yourselves. If word gets out, it could ruin everything."

Jhin picked up his gun with practiced elegance, tucking it back into his holster. The tension in the room lingered as you turned to leave, feeling the eyes of the patrons following your every move. As you both walked away from the table, the noise of the saloon gradually resumed, though it was noticeably quieter than before.

Once outside, the cold night air was a stark contrast to the stuffy atmosphere inside the saloon. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves after the tense encounter. Jhin walked beside you, his steps silent and measured.

"Well, that was enlightening," you said, breaking the silence.

Jhin glanced at you, his eyes glinting in the dim light. "Indeed. It seems we have our work cut out for us." He paused, then continued, a hint of amusement in his voice, "But before we plunge into the chaos of stopping Black Jack, perhaps a drink is in order?"

You raised an eyebrow, momentarily taken aback. "A drink? Now?"

He smiled, the expression barely visible behind his mask. "Consider it a brief respite, a moment to gather our thoughts and prepare for the task ahead. Besides," he added, his tone light and teasing, "it might be the only opportunity we have to enjoy a quiet moment."

You sighed, the idea of a drink oddly appealing despite the circumstances. "Alright, Jhin. One drink."

He inclined his head, a gracious gesture. "Of course, darling... Just one drink."

The two of you headed to a smaller, quieter tavern on the edge of town, one less likely to draw attention. Inside, the atmosphere was subdued, a stark contrast to the bustling saloon you had just left. You found a table in the corner, away from prying eyes, and settled in.

Jhin ordered a bottle of whiskey, pouring two glasses with a flourish. He slid one across the table to you, his eyes never leaving your face. You hesitated for a moment, but you took a sip, the warmth of the whiskey spread through you, momentarily easing the tension. You studied Jhin over the rim of your glass, his enigmatic presence both unsettling and oddly comforting.

"So," you said, setting your glass down. "How did you come by that information about the train bridge?"

Jhin leaned back in his chair, his eyes glittering with amusement. "A true artist never reveals his secrets, Y/n. Let's just say I have my ways of acquiring valuable information."

You shook your head, a small smile playing at your lips despite yourself. "Always so mysterious."

He chuckled softly. "It adds to my charm, doesn't it?"

You couldn't help but laugh, the sound surprising even you. “I won't say yes, just to annoy you."

Jhin leaned forward, his eyes twinkling with mischief behind his goggles. "Ah, but your laughter betrays you, darling. Deep down, you find my enigmatic nature quite charming."

You rolled your eyes, trying to maintain your composure. "In your dreams, Jhin."

He tilted his head, studying you with that unsettling, piercing gaze. "Come now, Y/n. You can admit it. We're sharing a drink, after all. A moment of honesty won't hurt."

You took another sip of whiskey, feeling the warmth spread through you. "Alright, fine. Maybe a tiny part of me finds your theatrics... interesting. But don't let it go to your head."

Jhin's smile widened, clearly pleased with your reluctant admission. "Interesting? I'll take that as a victory."

"Small victories," you countered, trying to downplay the significance. "Don't forget, we're still on opposite sides once this is over."

He leaned back, a satisfied look on his face. "Of course. But for now, let's enjoy this rare moment of truce. It's not often we find ourselves on the same side of the law."

You nodded, the brief respite from the looming danger a welcome relief. "Agreed. Just remember, this doesn't change anything. We have a job to do, and once it's done, we go back to being adversaries."

Jhin raised his glass in a mock salute. "Understood, Sheriff. But for now, let's toast to our temporary alliance."

You clink your glass against his, the sound ringing softly in the quiet tavern. "To the hunt," you said, meeting his gaze with a determined look.

"To the hunt," Jhin echoed, his eyes gleaming with a mix of amusement and something darker. "And to the unexpected pleasures it brings."

You shook your head, a small laugh escaping your lips. "Always the dramatist."

He smiled, the expression hidden behind his mask but evident in his eyes. "It's part of my charm, remember?" He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "And to think, you've never even seen my face..."

The statement caught you off guard, and you found yourself momentarily speechless. It was true; Jhin's face had always been concealed behind his mask. The enigma he presented was both infuriating and intriguing. "Maybe that's for the best," you replied, trying to keep your tone light. “You must be ugly."

He chuckled at that, sipping his drink before setting the glass down. "Perhaps," he replied, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "But then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

You rolled your eyes, unable to resist the playful banter. "You're incorrigible."

"Isn't that what you love about me?" he teased, his gaze lingering on your lips for a moment before returning to your eyes.

Your cheeks heated at the suggestive statement. You tried to brush it off, but there was no denying the electricity that seemed to crackle between you whenever Jhin was near. "Save the flirting for when we're not trying to take down a bunch of outlaws," you warned, the tension between you somehow making it all the more enjoyable.

Jhin leaned back in his chair, his hand absently toying with the brim of his hat. "A fair warning, Sheriff," he acknowledged, his voice dropping to a seductive purr. "That’s a pity we don’t see each other apart from these types of missions… I missed you, while we were apart.” He said with a casual flirtiness. 

The confession caught you off guard, the tone in his voice making it clear he meant every word. The admission, combined with the proximity between you, made the air around you thick with unspoken desires. "Perhaps, next time we meet, we can set aside our differences," he suggested, as his finger traced the rim of his glass suggestively. "Away from danger, and perhaps, in a place more…comfortable."

You stared into Jhin's masked face, the intensity of the moment making it difficult to breathe. The thought of being alone with him, with no threats or missions to distract you, was both terrifying and exhilarating. You know his lips were curved into a smile, and for a split second, you imagined them against your own. "You're a dangerous man, Jhin," you managed to say, your voice barely audible over the sudden loudness in your ears.

Jhin leaned in, the warmth of his breath ghosting over your skin. "And you, darling, are a temptation I've yet to resist," he whispered back. Your breath hitched as he finished his words, and you found yourself unable to move, paralyzed by the intensity of the moment. Jhin sat back, the glint in his eyes leaving no doubt that he felt the same heat pulsing between you.

Your heart pounded in your chest, your breath catching in your throat at his words. You could feel the tension between you reaching its breaking point, the desire to give in to the moment almost overwhelming. But you knew you had to resist, had to maintain some semblance of control.

With a shaky breath, you pushed yourself away from the table, the scrape of the chair against the floor echoing in the quiet tavern. "It's late," you said, your voice trembling slightly despite your best efforts to sound composed. "I...I think it was a bad idea for me to follow you here."

You reached into your pocket, fishing out some coins and tossing them onto the table. "This is for the drinks," you said, not giving Jhin a chance to protest. "I'll...I'll see you tomorrow."

Without another word, you turned and headed for the door, the cool night air hitting you like a wave as you stepped outside. You could feel Jhin's eyes on you as you walked away, his lingering gaze sending shivers down your spine. But you knew that giving in to the temptation would only lead to trouble

✦·┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈·✦

The next morning dawned cold and clear, the first light of day casting long shadows across the dusty streets of Frontier Dusk. You were already on your horse, the powerful chestnut gelding pawing at the ground in anticipation. Your breath hung in the air, a misty reminder of the early hour. The train you needed to stop was due to arrive soon, and you couldn’t afford to waste any more time.

You adjusted your hat, glancing down the empty street, and then back towards the edge of town. The air was crisp, filled with the scents of leather, horse, and the faint remnants of last night's campfires. In the distance, the faint rumble of the approaching train sent a sense of urgency thrumming through your veins.

Suddenly, the sound of hoofbeats reached your ears, and you turned to see Jhin approaching on his own horse, a sleek black stallion that matched his rider's ominous presence. He rode with an almost unnerving grace and as he drew closer, you could see the hint of a smile beneath his mask, a glint of something almost playful in his eyes. 

"Good morning, darling," he called out, his voice carrying effortlessly across the distance. "I hope you’re ready for some excitement."

"Jhin," you greeted, keeping your voice steady despite the irritation bubbling beneath the surface. "You're late again."

He shrugged nonchalantly, reining in his horse beside yours. "Apologies. I had some... private matters to attend to." His eyes narrowed slightly as he leaned in, voice dropping to a conspiratorial tone. "It appears our little mission has leaked. Word's out, but it won’t stop them—or us."

You clenched your jaw, anger and frustration warring within you. "How did that happen? I thought we were careful."

"Careful isn’t always enough, Sheriff. But don’t worry. A bit of extra attention only makes the game more interesting."

You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to stay calm. “Why are you always like this…?”

“Because I’m special.” He inclined his head, a mockery of a bow. “Lead the way, Sheriff. I’m right behind you."

With a sharp nod, you spurred your horse forward, the powerful animal leaping into motion. Jhin followed closely, the two of you riding hard towards the train tracks. The morning air whipped past you, the sound of pounding hooves a steady rhythm beneath the rising tension.

As the train came into view, you could see the steam billowing from the engine. There was no time to lose.

Jhin's eyes sparkled with dark amusement. "Let’s give them a performance they won’t forget."

Splitting off, you guided your horse around the side of the station, heart pounding as you prepared to intercept the train. The stakes were high, but you couldn't afford to think about that now. Focus and determination drove you forward, and with Jhin at your side, for better or worse, you were ready to face whatever came next.

The train thundered down the tracks, its powerful engine roaring as it approached the old wooden bridge that spanned a deep ravine. The wheels clattered over the rails, a rhythmic, almost hypnotic sound that filled the morning air. You and Jhin rode hard alongside it, your horses’ hooves pounding the earth in a desperate race to keep up.

As the bridge loomed closer, you spotted a group of figures moving inside the train cars. Bandits. They were already on board—seems like they changed their plans. You exchanged a quick glance with Jhin, and without a word, you both urged your horses closer to the speeding train.

"Ready?" you shouted over the din, eyes fixed on the open door of a boxcar ahead.

Jhin nodded, his expression hidden behind his mask but his eyes glinting with excitement. "After you, darling."

You leaned forward, your horse galloping at full speed, and then you leapt from the saddle, hands gripping the edge of the open door. With a grunt, you hauled yourself inside, drawing your revolver in one swift motion. Jhin followed with a graceful leap, landing beside you with unnerving ease.

The interior of the car was dimly lit, filled with crates and barrels. The bandits turned in surprise, their weapons drawn. There were five of them, rough-looking men with cold eyes and mean grins. You didn’t hesitate.

"Drop your weapons!" you commanded, your voice firm and steady.

One of the bandits laughed, raising his rifle. "I don’t think so, Sheriff."

The car erupted into chaos. You fired first, your shot striking the man in the shoulder and sending him sprawling. Jhin moved like a shadow, his gun blazing. Two more bandits fell before they even had a chance to react, the precise shots echoing in the confined space. “Two,” he said, his voice bordering on insanity.

A burly bandit lunged at you with a knife, but you sidestepped his attack, delivering a swift kick to his gut. He staggered back, and you followed up with a punch that sent him crashing into a stack of crates.

Jhin was a whirlwind of lethal grace, his movements fluid and deadly. He ducked under a swinging club, placing a lotus trap underneath his feet as it sliced across the attacker’s thigh. The bandit howled in pain, collapsing to the floor. As you turned to face the last of the bandits, he raised his hands, eyes wide with fear. 

"Alright, alright! I give up!"

You kept your gun trained on him, breathing hard. "Smart move. Now get on your knees."

The bandit’s eyes were wide with fear as he knelt before you, trembling under the barrel of your revolver. His confession came out in a rush, desperation evident in every word.

"It was me! I’m Black Jack! I’ve been behind all the recent attacks," he blurted, his voice shaking. "Please, don’t kill me! I… I just wanted some attention, to be someone… to cause fear in the West!"

You exchanged a look with Jhin, whose eyes glittered with satisfaction behind his mask. The infamous Black Jack, finally cornered. You had waited a long time for this moment, but as Jhin stepped forward, his intent clear, you felt a strange mixture of anticipation and unease.

Jhin moved with a predator's grace, each step calculated, each motion deliberate. He knelt beside Black Jack, drawing a slender, wickedly sharp knife from his belt. The bandit whimpered, his terror palpable.

"For your crimes, Black Jack," Jhin began, his voice a low, melodic murmur, "justice must be served."

Without hesitation, Jhin's blade flashed, cutting a shallow line across Black Jack's cheek. The bandit cried out, but Jhin seemed serene, his movements an unsettling dance of beauty and violence. You should have intervened, should have stopped him, but instead, you found yourself watching, hypnotised.

There was a cold elegance in the way Jhin worked, his focus absolute. He inflicted pain with an artist's touch, each cut precise, each act of violence measured. Black Jack's screams echoed in the confined space of the train car, but they barely registered in your mind. All you could see was Jhin, his lethal grace mesmerising.

Jhin paused, his knife hovering above Black Jack's trembling form. He glanced up at you, a faint smile playing on his lips as he noticed your rapt attention.

"You know, Sheriff," Jhin said, his voice smooth and almost conversational, "I find myself quite displeased by this man's actions. Not because of his crimes, but because he caused you a great deal of worry."

You blinked, trying to focus on his words. "Jhin, what are you talking about?"

"If I had known from the beginning that it was only a pathetic man in quest of some little attention," he continued, his knife tracing another line across Black Jack's skin, his tone was outy. "I would have severed him from our story much earlier."

Black Jack whimpered again, but Jhin paid him no mind. His eyes were fixed on you, a dark intensity burning in their depths. "Nobody apart from me should get your attention, darling. I don’t like to share…" 

The possessiveness in his tone sent a shiver down your spine, a mix of fear and an unidentified desire pulsing through your veins. You clenched your fists, trying to maintain control. In this moment, you found yourself drawn to Jhin in a way you couldn't explain, the line between respect and submission blurring.

Despite your best efforts to stay composed, your breathing grew heavier, and your body felt flushed. You couldn't deny the allure of Jhin's dominance, his words arousing you further, the power dynamics between you overwhelming your senses.

As Jhin resumed his grisly work, you found yourself unable to look away. The tension between you both was palpable, the electricity in the air now mixed with a heady scent of lust. The line between the mission and your personal turmoil grew increasingly blurred—and shamefully, you could feel your panties dampening. 

"Jhin, that's enough," you said, though your voice lacked its usual conviction. 

Jhin sighed, almost regretfully, and stood, wiping the blood from his blade with a practised motion before sheathing it. Black Jack lay at your feet, sobbing and broken, but alive. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself, and looked down at the bandit.

"You're going to tell us everything," you said firmly. "And then you're going to face justice for what you've done."

Black Jack nodded frantically, too terrified to do anything but comply. You glanced at Jhin, who was watching you with an unreadable expression. The tension between you, the strange, twisted bond formed by necessity and mutual disdain, seemed to tighten in that moment.

The train had stopped just before the bridge, the ravine left behind, but the memory of Jhin's graceful violence lingered in your mind. As you led Black Jack out of the train car, the air between you and Jhin seemed to crackle with a strange, intense— sexual energy. The usual tension that defined your uneasy alliance felt different now, charged with something almost palpable.

Jhin fell into step beside you, his presence unsettlingly close. He leaned in, his voice a low murmur that sent a shiver down your spine. "You seemed quite captivated by my performance, darling," he said, the faintest hint of a smile playing on his lips.

You swallowed hard, trying to maintain your composure. "I was just making sure you didn't go too far."

His eyes, dark and unreadable behind his mask, locked onto yours. "Don't lie to yourself, Y/n. You enjoyed it. The beauty in the chaos, the artistry in the violence."

Your heart pounded in your chest, "You're delusional, Jhin." But as you said, you wondered if you were trying to convince him — or yourself. 

He stepped even closer, his breath warm against your ear. "Am I? Or is it that you can't admit how much you need me? How much do you crave the thrill I bring?"

A wave of heat flooded your body, a cocktail of frustrated desire and undeniable attraction. Jhin's words, so laden with passion, wrapped around you like a tantalising embrace. "This isn't the time for your mind games, Jhin," you managed to say, your voice trembling.

Your heart raced as his hand accidentally brushed against yours, the contact sending a jolt of electricity through your veins. "Who said anything about games? This is very real." His words dug into you, igniting a fire within. After a moment of intense silence, he continued, his voice thick with innuendo. "It has always been real—right? That’s why you keep calling for my help, even though you don’t truly need it.”

“You truly did believe I was this oblivious, darling?"

Your breath hitched, the truth in his words leaving you speechless. The reality of your feelings and the intensity of his gaze left you breathless, your body responding in kind. Your nipples hardened, your pussy wetting your panties as an aching need bloomed between your legs.

You tried to suppress the overwhelming sensation, but Jhin's dominance and sexual energy were intoxicating. The room seemed to shrink, the tension between you thick enough to cut with a knife. You couldn't ignore the longing in your heart, the pull toward him, the desire he'd awakened within you since you first encounter.

Jhin's smouldering gaze never left your face, the mask covering his face doing little to hide the intensity of his desire. He leaned in closer, his lips ghosting past your ear as he inhaled your scent deeply, his breath hot against your skin, "Good girl," he praised, his tone low and laced with admiration. "You fought well."

His hand rose and the mask shifted slightly, revealing a sliver of Jhin's full, inviting, thin lips. You felt the heat emanating from his body, the scent of his cologne, a heady mix of spice and sandalwood, intoxicating your senses. You held your breath, your body trembling with anticipation as the distance between your lips shrank. 

In that moment, the line between mission and passion blurred, leaving you both in a whirlwind of forbidden lust and dark, passionate cravings. You struggled to regain control, to maintain your composure, but the heat between you grew, threatening to consume you both. Your breath hitched, the intensity of the moment threatening to consume you. You were painfully aware of his every move and every word.

Just as your lips brushed against the fabric of his mask, in a desperate attempt to seize an opportunity, Black Jack made his move.

With a sudden, desperate lunge, he pulled a hidden pistol from his boot and fired. The shot rang out, echoing in the confined space, and pain exploded in your side. You staggered, clutching at the wound, blood seeping through your fingers.

Jhin's eyes widened behind his mask, a flash of something dangerous and furious crossing his features. "You dare?" he hissed, turning his attention to Black Jack with a lethal grace.

In one swift motion, Jhin disarmed him, the pistol clattering to the floor. Black Jack whimpered, but Jhin's focus was already shifting back to you. He was by your side in an instant, his hands surprisingly gentle as they inspected your wound.

"Stay with me, darling," he murmured, his voice a strange mix of concern and something deeper. "You're not allowed to die on me."

You tried to focus, your vision blurring at the edges. "Jhin... help me..."

He nodded, his movements swift and efficient as he applied pressure to the wound. "I'm here. You're going to be fine," he said, though there was an edge of desperation in his tone that betrayed his usual calm demeanour.

"Focus on my voice," Jhin continued, his hands working with practised precision. "You’re stronger than this. You’re the Sheriff of Frontier Dusk, remember?"

Your breaths came in shallow gasps, the pain radiating through your body. "Jhin... why do you care?"

His eyes met yours, and for a moment, the mask seemed to slip, revealing a flicker of vulnerability. "Because, Y/n," he said softly, "you are the only one worthy of my attention."

Despite the pain, a weak smile tugged at your lips. "That's... a strange way to show it."

He chuckled, a dark, melodic sound. "Perhaps. But then, I’ve never been one for convention."

You felt your consciousness wavering, the edges of your vision darkening. "Jhin, I..."

"Shh," he soothed, pressing harder on the wound to staunch the bleeding. "Save your strength. We're almost there."

As the darkness began to close in, you held onto the sound of his voice, the unexpected tenderness in his touch. The last thing you saw before everything faded was Jhin's mask, his tom a mix of anger, fear, and something almost… tender. In that moment, you realised that despite the danger and the madness, there was a strange, undeniable bond between you and the enigmatic assassin— and that's why you really didn't want to die. 

✦·┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈·✦

You blinked, consciousness slowly returning as the world around you swam into focus. The familiar sight of your room greeted you, the soft light filtering through the curtains casting a gentle glow over everything. You tried to move, but a dull ache spread through your body, a painful reminder of what had happened.

As you shifted, a figure stirred beside you, and you turned to see Caitlyn sitting by your bedside, her expression a mix of relief and concern. "You're awake," she said, her voice soft with emotion.

You managed a weak smile, your throat dry. "Hey, partner."

Caitlyn reached for a glass of water on the nightstand, holding it out to you. "Here. Take it slow."

You gratefully accepted the glass, taking small sips to ease the dryness in your throat. "What happened?" you asked, your memory still fuzzy around the edges.

Caitlyn sighed, her gaze dropping to her hands. "You were shot, Y/n. Black Jack got the drop on you. If it weren't for Jhin..." Her voice trailed off, and you glanced at her, the pieces starting to fall into place. 

"Jhin," you murmured, remembering his desperate attempt to save you.

Caitlyn nodded, her eyes meeting yours. "He brought you back here, tended to your wound himself. Said he couldn't let you die."

You felt a surge of gratitude and confusion, the memory of Jhin's unexpected tenderness still fresh in your mind. "Where is he now?"

Caitlyn hesitated, her expression troubled. "Gone. He disappeared right after he brought you back. Said something about his art… his need to resist the urge, or whatever this psycho meant."

You frowned, a mix of emotions swirling inside you. Despite everything, there was a part of you that felt a strange sense of loss at his absence. "He saved my life," you said quietly, the words feeling inadequate.

Caitlyn nodded, understanding flashing in her eyes. "Yeah, he did," she said, her voice soft. "But don't think for a second that makes up for everything else he's done."

You sighed, leaning back against the pillows. "I know," you said, your voice heavy with resignation. 

As she helped you settle back into bed, you couldn't shake the memory of Jhin's words, the fleeting moment of connection between you. But for now, as you drifted back into a restless sleep, you pushed those thoughts aside, focusing instead on the task at hand and the familiar presence of Caitlyn by your side.

When he said he would be gone, he meant it for real this time. 

In the days that followed the tumultuous events on the train, Frontier Dusk seemed to settle into an uneasy calm. Jhin's absence was like a void, a conspicuous emptiness in the fabric of the town's daily life. At first, there was a sense of relief among the townsfolk, a collective exhale at the absence of the enigmatic assassin and the chaos he often brought in his wake. But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, that relief gave way to a growing unease.

For you, Jhin's disappearance weighed heavily on your mind. At first, there was a sense of quiet satisfaction, a respite from the constant tension and danger that seemed to follow in his wake. You found yourself almost grateful for the sense of peace that settled over the town in his absence, the streets no longer tinged with the undercurrent of fear that had become all too familiar.

But as time wore on, that peace began to feel hollow, a facade that masked the growing sense of emptiness in your heart. You made countless attempts to reach out to Jhin, sending telegrams to him — then to every contact you had, but each one went unanswered. Every time you ventured out to the oak tree, you were met only by your own solitude, the wind whispering through the branches a cruel reminder of his absence.

In the beginning, you tried to convince yourself that Jhin's departure was for the best, that it was better for everyone if he stayed away. But as the days stretched on, you couldn't shake the growing sense of desperation that gnawed at you. You found yourself scanning the streets, hoping to catch a glimpse of his distinctive figure among the crowd, but he remained elusive, as if he had vanished into thin air.

The uncertainty weighed heavily on your mind, a constant presence that refused to fade. You couldn't help but wonder where Jhin had gone, what he was doing, if he was even still alive. Thoughts of him haunted your every waking moment, his enigmatic presence a constant presence in your mind.

At night, you would lie awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to shake the feeling of emptiness that settled over you. You had grown accustomed to the chaos and danger that came with Jhin's presence, but now that he was gone, you found yourself longing for the excitement and unpredictability he brought into your life.

✦·┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈·✦

The night had wrapped Frontier Dusk in a thick, velvety darkness. The town, usually so lively with the sounds of restless horses and late-night chatter, was now still. Only the occasional creak of a wooden beam or the distant howl of a coyote broke the silence. You had finally fallen into a restless sleep, your mind still circling around the thoughts of Jhin, as it had for months. The hollow ache in your chest seemed to grow heavier each night, a silent companion that never left your side.

It was deep into the night when something pulled you from your sleep. At first, you thought it was just another dream—those haunting images of masked eyes and the cold, calculated precision of his movements. But as your senses sharpened, you became aware of a presence in the room, a subtle shift in the air that sent a shiver down your spine.

Your hand instinctively moved toward the pistol on your bedside table, but before you could reach it, a voice, low and melodic, whispered through the darkness.

"Looking for this, Sheriff?"

Your breath caught in your throat. You knew that voice. Even after all these months, it was unmistakable—deep, suave and dangerous. You turned your head, and there he was, standing in the shadowed corner of your room. The moonlight filtering through the window cast a pale glow across his mask, highlighting the eerie beauty of his features. In his hand, he casually twirled your pistol, as if it were a mere toy.

"Jhin," you breathed, a mix of shock and relief flooding your senses.

He stepped closer, moving with that same unsettling grace, his presence commanding the room. As he approached your bed, he placed the pistol back on the nightstand, his gloved fingers brushing against yours as he did so. The touch was fleeting but electric, sending a jolt of something dangerously close to excitement through you.

"I must say," Jhin continued, his tone laced with an almost playful edge, "I've missed our little encounters."

You sat up slowly, your heart pounding in your chest. "Where the hell have you been?" you demanded, the relief quickly giving way to anger. "I thought you were dead, or—"

"Or what?" Jhin interrupted, his voice soft but carrying an edge of menace. "Or that I'd abandoned you? No, darling. I simply had... other matters to attend to."

He tilted his head slightly, studying you with those dark, unreadable eyes behind his mask. You could feel his gaze, heavy and intent, as if he were assessing every detail of your face, every shift in your expression. As if committing it to his memory forever.

"You had no right to leave without a word," you said, your voice tight with frustration. "You can’t just vanish like that."

Jhin's head tilted slightly, a mockery of sympathy in his posture. "I didn't realise you'd grown so attached, Y/n. How... sentimental."

You clenched your fists, the anger bubbling up again. "Don't twist this around, Jhin. You left without a trace, without so much as a sign that you were alive. I tried to reach you—"

"And now, here I am," he cut in smoothly, his tone softening as he moved even closer. He was now standing beside your bed, close enough that you could see the faint rise and fall of his chest, the slight movement of his fingers at his side. "Alive. And in front of you. Isn't that what you wanted?"

You wanted to say something sharp, something that would push him back, but the words caught in your throat. He was right there, and the months of longing, of unanswered questions, of sleepless nights waiting for some sign of him, all came crashing down on you. 

Before you could gather your thoughts, Jhin reached out, his gloved hand cupping your chin with a surprising gentleness. The contrast between the softness of his touch and the hard edge of his persona sent a shiver through you. His thumb brushed lightly against your lower lip, a gesture so intimate and yet so dangerous that it made your breath hitch.

"I didn't intend to cause you pain, Sheriff," he murmured, his voice low and almost tender. "But some things... require a certain finesse. A certain patience. Much like you, really."

His words, laced with that signature mix of menace and allure, left you momentarily speechless. The intensity of the moment, of having him so close after so long, was overwhelming. Your body betrayed you, leaning slightly into his touch, craving the connection you'd been denied for so many months.

"Jhin..." you whispered, not even sure what you were asking for. An explanation? An apology? Maybe just a confirmation that this wasn't some cruel dream.

He leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. "Did you miss me, love?" His tone was teasing, but there was an underlying seriousness and urgency that you couldn't ignore.

Your heart pounded in your chest, your emotions a tumultuous mix of anger, relief, and something dangerously close to desire. "You have no idea," you replied, your voice trembling slightly.

Jhin's fingers tightened slightly against your skin, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made your pulse race. "Good," he whispered, his voice dark and filled with a promise. "Because I've missed you too. More than you could possibly know."

In that moment, with his masked face so close to yours, his hand on your chin, you felt like the world outside your room had ceased to exist. There was only Jhin, his presence overwhelming and inescapable, pulling you into the orbit of his madness once more. And despite everything, despite all the chaos and danger he brought with him, you couldn't bring yourself to push him away.

Not now. Not when he was finally here, after all this time.

And in the silence that followed, with your breath mingling with his, you realised just how deeply his absence had affected you. How much you'd come to depend on the danger, the thrill, and the strange connection that existed between you and the man behind the mask.

Jhin's fingers lingered against your chin, his touch featherlight yet firm, keeping you in place. His eyes, though hidden behind the mask, seemed to bore into you, probing, searching. For a long, tense moment, he said nothing, just watched you in that unnervingly intense way of his. It felt like he was trying to read every thought, every emotion, every unspoken word that danced behind your eyes.

Then, slowly, he spoke, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it, almost… uncertain.

“When you were shot…” he began, his tone carefully controlled, as if weighing every word. “I felt something I hadn’t anticipated. A fear that was… unfamiliar.”

You blinked, surprised by the vulnerability threading through his words. Jhin? Admitting fear? Your breath caught, but you stayed silent, sensing he had more to say.

His hand moved from your chin to cup the side of your face, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone with an unexpected tenderness. “It unsettled me, Sheriff,” he continued, his voice almost a murmur now, like he was confessing something forbidden. “To see you bleeding, in pain… because of someone else’s hand.” His thumb stilled, and you could feel his breath, warm against your skin, as he leaned just a fraction closer. “It made me realise how much I’d grown… concerned for your well-being.”

Concerned. The word hung in the air like a fragile thing, barely held together by the tension between you. You swallowed, trying to maintain some composure. “So, you left because… you were worried?” you asked, your voice softer than you intended.

Jhin’s fingers pressed just a bit harder against your skin, almost as if in frustration, but his tone remained calm, controlled. “Worried?” he echoed, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “No, Sheriff… not merely worried. I was terrified.”

You felt your heart skip a beat. Terrified. That wasn’t a word you ever thought would cross his lips. Not Jhin, who thrived on danger and chaos, who seemed to relish in the violence and unpredictability of life. You stayed silent, letting him continue.

“I have faced death more times than I can count,” he went on, his voice growing quieter, almost confessional. “I have stared into the abyss and found it rather… beautiful. But seeing you like that, bleeding, unconscious… it shook something loose in me. I felt…” He paused, struggling for the right word. “Vulnerable. Helpless, even. It was as if… for the first time, I had something to lose.”

His admission hung between you, the air heavy with its weight. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding wildly in your chest. "Jhin..." you whispered, unsure of what to say, of how to respond to this raw honesty.

His mask tilted slightly, his eyes still locked onto yours. “So I left,” he confessed, almost too quietly, as if he didn’t want to hear the words himself. “I thought… if I distanced myself, if I severed whatever strange connection had formed between us, I could rid myself of these... weaknesses. These feelings I had no desire to understand."

Your chest tightened. "Feelings?" you repeated, almost in disbelief. “For me?”

He chuckled, a dark, low sound that sent a shiver down your spine. "You must know, darling, that you occupy my thoughts far more than I’d like to admit. Even when I was far away, I found myself wondering what you were doing, if you were safe… if you were thinking of me, too."

You blinked, trying to process his words. “And that scared you?” you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper.

“Yes,” he admitted, his voice almost trembling. “It terrified me. I have never cared for another’s safety… not like this. Not ever.”

For a moment, you were speechless, the weight of his confession settling over you. You knew Jhin was a man who thrived on control, on the careful choreography of his actions, where every step, every movement, every kill was a deliberate, artistic decision. To admit fear, to admit that he cared, to admit that his feelings for you were strong enough to drive him away… it was an uncharacteristic display of vulnerability from a man who seemed to find beauty in death itself.

You took a breath, steadying yourself. “So you ran because you were afraid… of what, exactly?”

His fingers tightened ever so slightly on your face, his mask mere inches from yours. “I was afraid,” he said softly, “of what I might do to keep you safe. Of how much I’d sacrifice… just to ensure you remain unharmed.”

You felt a shiver run through you, your skin prickling at the intensity of his words, at the way he spoke them with such conviction, such quiet desperation. “And now?” you asked, searching his gaze. “Are you still afraid?”

He hesitated, his eyes narrowing slightly behind the mask, and for a moment, you thought he might pull away, might retreat back into that impenetrable shell he wore so well. But then he leaned in closer, so close you could feel his breath against your lips, could see the glint of his eyes through the mask.

“I’m afraid of many things, Sheriff,” he murmured, his voice low and intense, “but losing you… that, I’ve come to realise, is the one fear I cannot live with.”

You felt your breath hitch, your heart racing in your chest. He was so close now, his presence overwhelming, intoxicating. "So what now, Jhin?" you whispered, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and longing. "What does this mean for us?"

He smiled then, a slow, almost predatory smile that sent a shiver down your spine. “It means, Y/n,” he said, his voice barely more than a breath, “that I am here… and I’m not going anywhere. Not this time.”

His words hung in the air, a promise and a challenge all at once, and you couldn’t help but feel a strange mixture of dread and exhilaration coursing through your veins. He was back, and this time, he was not going to leave.

Jhin lingered close, his breath warm against your lips, his eyes—a dark, endless mystery behind the mask—seemed to study your every reaction. The room was filled with a thick, electric tension, the kind that made the hair on your arms stand up, made your heart pound so loud you were sure he could hear it. You could still feel his gloved hand against your cheek, thumb brushing lightly over your skin as if memorising the curve of your face, the softness of your touch.

Then, he spoke, his voice a low, hushed murmur in the quiet of the night. “Tell me, Sheriff,” he began, his tone almost teasing but layered with something deeper, something raw. “Would you like to see my face?”

The question caught you off guard, and you blinked, unsure if you had heard him correctly. Your breath hitched, a wave of surprise and curiosity crashing over you. “What?” you whispered, barely finding your voice. “You would…?”

His smile widened ever so slightly, a hint of amusement in the curve of his lips. “After all this time, all these dances we’ve shared… perhaps it’s time to lift the veil, no?” he said, almost coy, yet there was an edge to his words, a challenge.

You swallowed, your throat suddenly dry. The idea of seeing Jhin’s face, the real face behind the mask, behind all the careful control and precision, felt… impossibly intimate. It was a glimpse behind the curtain, a moment of vulnerability that you never thought he would allow.

“Why?” you asked softly, your voice barely more than a breath. “Why now?”

He tilted his head, his eyes glinting in the dim light of the moon filtering through the window. “Because,” he murmured, his voice deep and rich, “you’ve earned it. You’ve seen more of me than anyone else ever has. And perhaps…” He paused, leaning in a fraction closer, his lips almost brushing against your ear. “Perhaps, I want you to know me… truly.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, a mix of fear and anticipation flooding your senses. This was Jhin, the man who had danced on the razor’s edge between life and death, who had made an art of violence, who had wrapped himself in mystery and shadows. And here he was, offering you a glimpse of the truth behind the mask.

You nodded, almost without thinking, your breath catching in your throat. “Yes,” you whispered, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and longing. “I want to see you.”

Jhin’s hand left your cheek, his fingers trailing down slowly, tracing the line of your jaw before he reached up to the edge of his mask. His movements were deliberate, almost ritualistic, as he hooked his fingers under the mask, pausing for just a moment as if considering the gravity of this decision.

Then, with a slow, fluid motion, he began to lift it.

The room seemed to hold its breath with you, the silence so thick it was almost suffocating. The moonlight painted everything in shades of silver and shadow, and for a moment, the mask caught the light, glinting as he pulled it away from his face.

You felt your breath catch as the mask and goggles came off, revealing the face beneath. At first, it was only shadows, but as he stepped into the sliver of moonlight streaming through your window, you saw him—truly saw him—for the first time.

His skin was pale, his features sharp and angular, like they had been carved from marble. His jawline was strong, his lips curved in a faint, enigmatic smile. His hair, dark and slightly tousled, framed his face in a way that made him look almost ethereal, like a phantom who had stepped out of the darkness and into the light. But it was his eyes that struck you most—dark and intense, carrying a thousand unspoken stories, a mixture of sorrow, mischief, and something else… something softer, something that made your chest tighten.

He looked at you, letting you see him fully, without any of his usual masks or affectations. His gaze was searching, vulnerable in a way you had never seen before, and it made your heart race even faster.

“What do you see, darling?” he asked softly, his voice barely more than a whisper, yet it carried across the space between you with a gravity that made you shiver.

You swallowed hard, feeling your cheeks flush under his scrutiny. “I see…” you began, your voice faltering as you tried to find the words. “I see you, Jhin. For the first time, I really see you.”

His smile deepened, but there was a softness in his expression that you had never seen before, a hint of something fragile and almost hesitant. “And does it please you?” he asked, his voice laced with a strange mix of vulnerability and curiosity.

You nodded, your breath shaky. “Yes… it does,” you admitted, feeling your pulse quicken at the admission. “More than I thought it would.”

His eyes flickered, something warm and relieved flashing across his face. He moved closer, his face now inches from yours, the moonlight casting a silver glow on his skin, making him look almost otherworldly. “Then,” he whispered, his lips curving into a slow, dangerous smile, “let me be closer still.”

Before you could react, his hand was on the back of your neck, drawing you in. His lips brushed against yours, gentle at first, testing, as if waiting for permission. When you didn’t pull away, his kiss deepened, a mix of hunger and restraint, passion and control, a promise of everything he had held back for so long.

As Jhin's lips met yours, you felt electric shocks travelling through your body. His tongue danced with yours, tasting, exploring, taking the sweet nectar your mouth provided. Each moan you let out, each shudder your body released into the kiss, only emboldened him to become more aggressive, his hand on your neck tightening, guiding you in a slow, slippery dance.

Jhin's breath was uneven, a low, husky sound that filled the room with a sense of raw desire. His eyes, dark and intent, never left you as he slowly pulled back, giving you a moment to catch your breath. His gaze roved over your exposed skin, his admiration almost palpable.

"Your taste," he murmured, his voice thick with admiration and something deeper, "is intoxicating, my dear." his tongue licking his own thin lips to savour the last remnants of your taste.

With a slow, deliberate motion, he trailed his fingers down from your collarbone, where your nightgown had fallen away, to the delicate curve of your ribs. His touch was light, teasing, each stroke making you shiver in response. The sensation of his fingertips against your skin sent electric jolts through your body, heightening every nerve.

His eyes remained locked on yours as he gripped the hem of your nightgown, his fingers gently tugging it upward. The fabric bunched in his hands, exposing more of your body with each deliberate inch. The anticipation in his gaze was almost overwhelming, his eyes dark with a mixture of admiration and lust.

A soft gasp escaped your lips as his fingers grazed the sensitive skin of your stomach, the cool air of the night contrasting sharply with the heat of his touch. His touch was both tender and possessive, each movement calculated to draw out every sensation.

He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, his movements slow and reverent, as if he were undressing a masterpiece. He peeled them down gradually, his eyes lingering on every exposed inch of your skin. As the shorts slipped past your hips, they revealed the black lace panties that clung to your curves, accentuating the soft lines of your body.

His hand, calloused from years of handling weapons, now moved with a careful, almost worshipful reverence. His fingertips slid beneath the lace, brushing against the heat of your core. The sensation was electrifying, and a soft moan escaped your lips, your body instinctively arching into his touch, craving the contact.

Jhin’s breath was warm against your ear as he leaned closer, his voice a velvety whisper. “You are exquisite,” he murmured, his fingers exploring with a mixture of skill and adoration. “Every part of you.”

His touch became more insistent, his fingertips caressing and teasing, drawing out your responses with a practised ease. Each movement was designed to please, to heighten your senses, to make you feel cherished and desired. His touch was both gentle and fervent, a contrast that left you breathless and yearning.

As his fingers continued their delicate exploration, your body responded eagerly, the pleasure building with each stroke. Jhin’s attentiveness was both overwhelming and intoxicating, his every touch a testament to the depth of his desire and the admiration he held for you.

In the dim light of the room, with Jhin’s eyes fixed on you, you felt a profound connection, a merging of desire and emotion that transcended the physical. His worshipful touch was not just about pleasure, but about reverence, about honouring every part of you with a devotion that made the experience all the more intense and unforgettable.

"You're soaked, my sweet," he murmured before lowering his head, capturing a nipple between his teeth, and giving it a gentle tug. Your body convulsed, a moan escaping your lips. The sharp contrast of pain and pleasure left you quivering, tears forming in your eyes, a mix of ecstasy and need.

Suddenly, Jhin released you, his eyes dark with lust, and he stepped back. "Spread your legs, my dear," he commanded, his voice deep and rich.

You obeyed, feeling vulnerable but ready, waiting for him to lead you into the darkest depths of desire.

He knelt before you, looking up at you with a smile as wicked as his deadly aim. His fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties, and he slid them down, baring your most intimate secrets. The scent of your arousal filled the air, making him lick his lips in anticipation.

"You smell divine," he whispered, leaning forward to lick your inner thigh. His warm breath made you shiver, and you gripped the sheets, your knuckles turning white from the pressure.

His tongue traced a path to your swollen clit, flicking it teasingly, and you let out a desperate whimper. He dove in, circling and tasting, his fingers buried deep within your folds, stretching you, his thumb pressing against your entrance, begging to be allowed inside.

You cried out, the pleasure building, the intensity mounting with each flick of his tongue and each stroke of his fingers. A shiver ran through your body as you felt his thumb breach you, the initial discomfort quickly fading into a deep, visceral pleasure.

As Jhin continued to tease your clit with his tongue, his fingers still working their magic inside you, your moans grew more frantic. You clutched the bed sheets, struggling to maintain your grip on reality as the pleasure consumed you. "Oh, Jhin," you breathed, your voice thick with lust, "please, don't stop."

His lips finally left your clit, a wet, sucking noise echoing in the room before he spoke against your hot flesh, "Not until I'm ready," he growled, his breath hot and heavy against your most intimate parts.

You arched into his touch as he continued his skilled assault, an avalanche of sensations threatening to bury you alive. Your thighs shook uncontrollably, and you whimpered beneath him, "Please, I can't..."

Jhin's smile was wicked, his fingers moving in a rhythm guaranteed to drive you over the edge. "Can't what, my sweet Y/n?" he taunted, his voice a symphony of lust and control, a lethal combination that left you begging for mercy.

"Don't make me beg," you panted, on the precipice of release, your body trembling.

"You'll beg for everything, my dear," he promised, his words dark yet seductive, "and you'll love it."

Jhin's skill was as precise as his aim, his touch expert, teasing and tormenting you until you could no longer contain yourself. "Jhin," you screamed, your release washing over you, your body convulsing as your orgasm shook you to your core.

He pulled away, a satisfied smirk on his lips, his eyes gleaming with desire. "You're mine," he whispered, his voice a dark, sinister promise. With trembling hands, you cupped his cheeks, hunger burning in your eyes, craving the sensation of him—inside you, completing you.

With those words, the floodgates opened. Your body convulsed, your release crashing through you like a tidal wave, leaving you gasping for breath, your world reduced to nothing but the feeling of his touch as you rode the waves of ecstasy.

Jhin pushed you onto the bed, his gaze still dark and predatory, but there was a tenderness in his eyes, an unspoken concern that you might flee. He pinned you against the mattress, his body a heavy weight, demanding submission. "Do you want me, my dear?" he growled, his voice deep and commanding. "Do you want to feel the full force of my desire?"

Your eyes met his, pleading, your desire as apparent as the flush on your cheeks. "Yes," you breathed, reaching up to claw at the buttons of his leather suit.

His lips brushed against your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "Then beg me."

A thrill of arousal coursed through you as you gave yourself to his demand. "Please, Jhin, take me. I'm at your mercy. I need you inside me."

A wicked grin spread across his face, and he pulled away, stripping out of his clothes with a swiftness that left you panting, watching as the fabric pooled around his feet.

He revealed a body cased in sinew and muscle, he was a creature of shadow and death, but in this moment, he was yours. Jhin crawled onto the bed, his eyes never leaving yours, each movement deliberate, each breath heavy with lust. "Do you still want me, my sweet?"

When his manhood finally came into focus, you couldn't help but gasp. It was a sight to behold: thick, veiny, and standing proudly at attention. A small drop of pre-cum beaded at the tip, glistening in the moonlight, a testament to his arousal. The sheer size of it left you both impressed and daunted, your wetness increasing at the thought of accommodating his girth.

"Yes," you whispered, your voice little more than a ragged exhale.

Jhin's eyes followed your gaze, taking pride in the effect he had on you. He couldn't help but smirk at the look of awe on your face. The contrast of his violent demeanour and your endearment to him was a fascinating dynamic.

Positioning himself between your thighs, he pressed the tip of his cock against your entrance, a look of hunger and determination in his eyes. He began to apply pressure, slowly breaching your wet folds, and you couldn't help but quiver at the sensation. The forceful, yet controlled nature of his advance left no room for doubt; you were at his mercy, and at this moment, it was all you desired.

He positioned his cock at the entrance of your slick heat and began to push in, a slow, deliberate pace. The pain and pleasure melded into an exquisite symphony, driving you wild with need.

"Fuck," you moaned, your eyes rolling back, as he filled you completely.

"You're so tight," he growled, his hips rocking back and forth, his thrusts slow and deep.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting more, needing him to take you to heights you'd never imagined. "Harder," you demanded, your voice thick with arousal, “Please, Jhin…”

Jhin grinned, his eyes still dark, but a hint of mischief now flickered in their depths. He pulled back, only to slam into you with brutal force, your body shaking from the impact. He began to move faster, your moans filling the room, the bed creaking with each thrust. The combination of the tender and violent, the mix of pain and pleasure, left you dizzy, your body on the edge of release, your back arching, your nails digging into his flesh.

Jhin's grin grew wider, revealing his sharp teeth, as he pulled out of you just enough to tease the edge of your pussy again. His voice was deep and commanding, tinted with a lustful growl as he taunted, "You like that, don't you? Being taken by me so hard, your body begging for more?"

He slammed back into you with reckless abandon, the force of his thrusts rocking the bed, the springs groaning in protest. You couldn't help but let out a loud, guttural moan, your hands instinctively clenching around the sheets. Jhin seized the opportunity to grab your hair, yanking it back roughly, with enough force to make your head snap back, your neck stretching like a ragdoll's.

"Ah, what a good girl," he mocked, feeling your pussy convulse and tighten around his cock, delighting in your discomfort. "That's it, take it all. I'll push you to the brink and beyond."

Jhin's gaze was dark and intense, yet there was a hint of mischief that flickered in his eyes, a dangerous playfulness that made your heart race. The moonlight painted him in silver shadows, accentuating every sharp angle of his face. With a slow, deliberate motion, he closed the distance between you, his fingers gently tracing the curve of your jaw. His touch was both tender and possessive, sending a shiver through you. “You wanted to see me,” he murmured, his voice a low, vibrating purr. “Now you have me—completely.”

You swallowed, feeling your pulse quicken at his words. “Jhin…” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Is this… what you really want?”

He studied you with an intensity that made your breath catch. “What I want,” he said softly, “is to be with you in every possible way. To know that you see me… not just the mask I wear, but everything beneath it.”

As his lips met yours, the kiss was soft at first, exploring, as if he were savouring the moment he had so longed for. His hands roamed over your body with a mixture of reverence and hunger, tracing the curves of your form with an almost artistic precision. The kiss deepened, becoming more urgent, more fervent, as he pulled you closer, his body pressing against yours with a burning intensity.

Your hands moved to his hair, gripping it tightly, pulling him closer, as if you could fuse your bodies together, erase the separation that had been so painfully present for months. Jhin responded with a low growl, his hands tightening around your waist, guiding you with a force that was both demanding and exhilarating.

The room was filled with the sounds of your mingled breaths, the shifting of the bed beneath you, and the low, primal sounds of pleasure that escaped both of you. Jhin’s movements were deliberate, each thrust a calculated push toward something beyond the physical, something deeply emotional and profound. His lips trailed along your neck, his breath hot against your skin, and his voice, a low, growling whisper in your ear.

“You feel incredible,” he murmured, his voice filled with a mix of awe and possessiveness. “I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you right now.”

You arched your back, your body moving in rhythm with his, every touch, every kiss, every caress pushing you closer to the edge. The combination of tenderness and intensity was almost overwhelming, leaving you breathless and dizzy, your mind swirling with sensations and emotions.

Jhin’s hands gripped your hips with a fierce possessiveness, his eyes dark with desire and something deeper, something almost vulnerable. “Tell me,” he urged, his voice a low, throaty command. “Tell me what you want.”

“Jhin…” you gasped, your voice a mixture of longing and desperation. “I want you—just you. I want everything you’re willing to give.”

His response was a fierce, primal sound, and he moved with a renewed intensity, his body pushing into yours with a relentless rhythm. Each thrust was a promise, a declaration of the depth of his feelings, the depth of the connection that had been building between you for so long.

The room was filled with the slapping sounds of flesh meeting flesh, the air ripe with the scent of sweat, sex, and lust. The painful tug on your hair, the unrelenting force of his thrusts, it all compounded, driving you to the edge of ecstasy. Your body trembled, a needy whimper escaping your lips, pleading for release.

"Don't think you can find solace there yet, my pet," Jhin warned, releasing your hair, only to grasp your hips, his fingertips digging into your tender skin. He leaned forward, his lips brushing your ear, whispering, "I decide when you cum." Your back arched, your nails digging into his chest, scratching furiously, leaving red lines in their wake. The pleasure-pain raging within you was maddening. Jhin leaned back, admiring his creation, the sight of you, writhing and desperate.

"Now, for your reward," he threatened, a wicked gleam in his eye. He increased the pace, every stroke filling you, pushing you higher, closer to the edge. "Come for me, my darling," he snarled, his voice hoarse with need. "Let me feel you around my cock as you shatter into a million pieces for me."

He began to thrust with every ounce of his strength, your moans echoing through the room, mingling with the creaks of the bed. It was only a matter of time before you succumbed to the overwhelming sensations, your pussy pulsating around him, your orgasm washing over you like a tidal wave. Your nails bit into his flesh, pulling marks of ownership, as you cried out his name, your release clutching at his cock like a vice. Jhin let out a roar, feeling your pussy spasm and milk his cock, his own climax imminent. With one final, powerful thrust, he filled you with his seed, flooding your insides with his hot, sticky release.

He collapsed on top of you, both of you panting heavily, your bodies still joined, the strings of your passion entwined. Jhin's grip loosened, allowing you to slip away from his hold, leaving him buried inside you, basking in the afterglow of your union.

As the final waves of pleasure subsided, you lay there, breathless and sated, your body feeling both exhausted and profoundly connected. The room was cloaked in a serene quiet, save for the soft, laboured breaths that filled the space. Jhin's touch, once feverish and insistent, softened now into a gentle caress.

He moved with a deliberate grace, his fingers brushing against your skin with a careful reverence as if he were afraid to cause you any further discomfort. His eyes, dark and intense, were filled with an emotion you had rarely seen before—an almost tender concern.

“Are you alright?” Jhin asked, his voice softer than you had ever heard it, a trace of genuine worry underlying the smooth tones. His hands, so skilled in violence, now moved with a delicate precision, easing the aching muscles of your body with gentle touches.

You winced slightly as he adjusted your position, the soreness evident in your expression. “I’m… I’m okay,” you replied, your voice a mere whisper, feeling the lingering traces of both pleasure and pain. “Just a bit sore.”

Jhin’s fingers hovered over a particularly bruised spot on your side, his touch surprisingly gentle. “I’m sorry if I caused you discomfort,” he murmured, his voice filled with an unexpected sincerity. “It was never my intention to hurt you.”

You looked up at him, meeting his gaze with a mixture of gratitude and lingering desire. “It’s alright,” you assured him, reaching up to touch his cheek, your fingers lingering against the warmth of his skin. “It was… intense. But I liked it.”

A faint, almost regretful smile touched Jhin’s lips as he continued to soothe your bruised body. “I should have been more careful,” he admitted, his voice tinged with self-reproach. “I was… consumed by my own desires and forgot to consider your well-being.” He leaned closer, his fingers gently brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “You are remarkable,” he murmured, his voice filled with an almost reverent admiration. “Even in pain, you are beautiful.”

He reached for a soft cloth and dampened it with cool water, then gently began to dab at the areas where your skin was reddened or bruised. The coolness of the cloth against your body felt soothing, and you sighed softly, leaning into his touch. His movements were careful and deliberate, each stroke of the cloth a gentle act of care.

“You’ve given me more than I ever expected,” Jhin continued, his voice steady and filled with emotion. “In your vulnerability, you’ve shown me a depth of connection I didn’t know I could experience.”

You looked up at him, seeing the genuine care in his eyes, a tenderness that contrasted sharply with his usually aloof demeanour. “I’m glad,” you said softly, your voice filled with sincerity. “I’ve felt more connected to you tonight than ever before. It’s… it’s something I didn’t think I needed, but now I can’t imagine being without it.”

Jhin’s fingers paused as he looked at you, his expression softening further. “I’m glad to hear that,” he said quietly. “I’ve come to realise that what I feel for you goes beyond mere desire. It’s something profound, something I never thought I would allow myself to feel.”

He finished with the cloth and set it aside, his eyes never leaving yours. “I will be here for you,” he promised, his voice filled with resolve. “In every way that you need, I will be here.”

You reached out, your fingers brushing his cheek tenderly. “Thank you, Jhin,” you said softly. “For everything.”

He took your hand in his, pressing a gentle kiss to your fingertips. “No, my dear,” he said, his voice a low murmur filled with emotion. “Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life. For letting me see you, truly see you.”

The room was filled with a peaceful silence as Jhin continued to care for you, his touch gentle and attentive. As you lay there, wrapped in the warmth of his affection, you felt a deep sense of contentment and connection, knowing that despite the intensity and the pain, you had found something truly meaningful in each other.

✦·┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈·✦

The sun dipped lower in the sky, painting Frontier Dusk with hues of gold and crimson. The town was winding down, its usual noise giving way to the quiet hum of evening preparations. You’d hoped for a peaceful end to your day, but the radio crackled with an urgent call—a disturbance at the old warehouse on the edge of town.

Arriving at the scene, you were greeted by a disheartening sight. The warehouse, usually an abandoned relic of better times, was now the stage for Jhin’s latest performance. Blood stained the concrete floor, a stark contrast to the grimy surroundings, and at the center of the chaos stood Jhin, looking every bit the enigmatic artist he fancied himself to be. His coat was missing, replaced by a fitted leather outfit that clung to his lean, muscular frame. The sight of him in his element was simultaneously captivating and deeply unsettling.

You took a steadying breath, pushing past your emotions. “Jhin,” you called out, your voice sharp and commanding as you approached him. “You know why I’m here. Hands behind your back.”

Jhin turned his head slowly, his dark eyes meeting yours with a mixture of amusement and something darker, more dangerous. A slow smile spread across his lips, a glimmer of mischief dancing in his gaze. “Ah, darling. Always a pleasure to see you,” he purred, his voice smooth like velvet. “Though, I must admit, this isn’t exactly the ideal setting for our meetings.”

You tried to ignore the flutter in your chest, focusing on the task at hand. “This isn’t a social call. You’re under arrest.”

His smile widened, an almost playful gleam in his eye. “Under arrest?” He said, his tone teasing, as if your stern demeanour were a mere game to him. “Well, well,” he said, his voice smooth and teasing. “I see you’re finally ready to make things official.”

You straightened, trying to regain your composure. “Jhin,” you said, your tone firm, “you’ve made quite a mess today. I’m here to arrest you. This time, you’re coming with me.”

He tilted his head, his lips curling into a mischievous smile. “Ah, but Sheriff,” he purred, “you’re looking particularly… prepared. I must say, it’s quite a sight. I didn’t realise you were so eager to see me in cuffs.”

His eyes gleamed with a playful light, and he took a step closer, his gaze raking over you with an appreciation that made your cheeks flush. “Though,” he continued, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, “I must admit, I never thought I’d see the day when you’d be so… intent on restraining me. Are you sure it’s the cuffs you’re after? Or is it something else entirely?”

You shot him a look, trying to maintain your stern demeanour despite the heat rising in your cheeks. “Jhin, this isn’t a game. I’m here to do my job.”

He chuckled softly, the sound rich and melodious. “Of course, of course,” he said, his tone mocking a serious note. “But you must admit, there’s a certain thrill in the chase. And now that you’re finally ready to catch me, I can’t help but wonder if the excitement is more about the arrest or about the... close proximity.”

You took a deep breath, trying to ignore the fluttering sensation in your stomach. “You’re incorrigible,” you said, your voice tinged with both frustration and a reluctant amusement. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Before you could react, he moved with a fluid grace, closing the distance between you in an instant. He cupped your face in his blood-stained hands, his touch surprisingly warm and intimate. His lips met yours in a kiss that was both unexpected and electric, leaving you momentarily breathless and disoriented.

The kiss was over almost as soon as it began. Jhin pulled back, his expression a mix of satisfaction and mischief. “I do believe,” he said, his voice low and laced with amusement, “that I’ve made my escape.”

You blinked, still trying to process the intensity of the moment. “Jhin—” you started, but he was already gliding toward the exit, his movements as fluid and controlled as ever.

“Don’t worry, love,” he called back over his shoulder, his voice echoing with a playful taunt. “I’ll see you tonight. And I assure you, it will be a rendezvous you won’t soon forget.”

You watched, both exasperated and oddly charmed, as Jhin disappeared into the shadows. Shaking your head with a mix of frustration and amusement, you muttered to yourself, “Only Jhin would manage to turn an arrest into a date.”,Shaking your head, you turned your attention to the aftermath of his latest escapade. The warehouse was a mess, and you had work to do. As you began to clean up and sort through the evidence, a wry smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. 

[ask-serendipity-sky]

uhm, hello! i've been lurking around some jkk blogs and finally decided to come out of the shadows,,,

one thing i noticed between most of armys collectively, be it jkkrs, tkkrs, ot7, solos, etc, is... that they don't really seem to trust JK very much? take their 10th anniversary for example. just because JK was the last one to post a message about it, people already startes doubting that he'd post anything /at all/, questioning it, wondering why he didn't post anything. but for real, its his group's /tenth/ anniversary, people really think that man wouldn't post a single message about it? JK? the man who is ever so considerate and caring to armys?

i'm using this as an example, but i feel this stretches to everything else. people doubt JK and question his behaviors every time a rumor pops up. people often times take those rumors as being the sole truth regardless of what JK says himself. i'm tired of people thinking he isn't serious about what he does and says.

and obviously, this stretches to jkk too. even to tkk, because many tkkrs love to throw him under the bus to explain their own delusions. why do his actions need to be questioned and explained and scrutinized every single time? why, for everything he does, it must have an underlying meaning, a hidden message, something that he isn't telling us? why do people feel the need to explain his every action and words? why him making a live to see JM content has to be under scrutiny? can't it just be JK watching content of someone he loves and wanting to cheer himself up? and when i say this goes for tkk too, is exactly because tkkrs love to add explanations for what JK does and to tell everyone that "it isn't what you're seeing that is real actually". and i imagine that, a lot of the biggest ot7s blogs and pages being tkkrs themselves, this mistrust spread to regular armys too.

and this is a callout for those jkkrs who throw themselves in a well of despair when JK seemingly acts like "he doesn't care for JM anymore" too. the man himself said a hundred times that he is shy, that he doesn't like to expose himself too much, that he has a hard time taking selcas, etc. how many times people believed jkk just "don't interact anymore" just for us to find out months later that they hung out as they always did, they just didn't post about it or tell us about it in their lives?

why can't people trust JK more? he more than once told he communicate his feelings and thoughts to us through lyrics, is honest and straightforward in his speeches, says lyrics have meaning to him and that he never does anything without being intentioned about it, always makes it clear to say what he means even if he doesn't find it easy or believes he isn't the best when it comes to expressing his feelings. i don't understand why many people see him as this shallow puppet, as this dumb guy who doesn't know what he's doing, who doesn't know the meanings of his /own creations/, be it songs, lyrics, GCF videos, posts, etc. as this guy who isn't to be very much trusted, when JK is so trustworthy and earnest. that's the only reasons i can come up with to explain how some "fans" rather believe in rumors and leaks than JK himself regarding what he does with his life and his art and music.

i know you're JM biased but i also know you're very fair in your judgements and is always defending both of jkk. i hope this ask make through, especially now where there are so many "leaks" and negative rumors spreading again about him.

Hi anon,

I love this. Thank you for taking the time to post this. I'm happy to know that Jungkook has a fan who defends him like this and who loves him so much.

Everything you said is on point.

"Why can't people trust Jk more?" This is my take on this question and I'm curious to know what others think.

I will speak in general terms, ok? I think we doubt Jungkook because:

-We let tkkrs get to our head and therefore don't think all Tae & Jk interactions are only platonic.

-We let the weekly Jk and random woman dating rumors get to our head.

-We believe the "fuck boy" image this fandom has tried imposing on him.

-We believe Jikook is fan service.

-Genuine people don't exist so he can't be genuine.

-We feel a hunch.

-We don't understand that he won't act according to our fantasies because he is an actual human being and not a fictional character.

-We think he plays the parasocial relationship card really well.

Maybe it's a combination of these things?

But you are right. It is unfair to Jungkook because everytime he has talked to the fans, explained, sang, and/or demonstrated his love he has been 100% genuine.

And his actions towards Jimin have been 100% genuine too.

I think the issue is not Jungkook. The issue is us. That simple. And how sad.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[scribblesbyavi]

Most of the time films mirror society and not the other way round.

Films are a reflection of what is happening in the society and captures only a part of it. Films do leave a lasting impact on our mind but what someone goes through during their childhood can stay with them forever. Only they can understand what they go through because of such incidents. And sometimes there is no one to understand them. This kind of trauma can kill them from the inside and make them something they are not.

We as a society always like to see the final outcome and give judgements based on the action but we never try to understand where someone is coming from. We don’t give a damn to see things from someone else’s perspective. Society at large neglects things that require more attention like childhood traumas, mental health issues and depression.

Of course some people don’t deserve our empathy and compassion however in the macro picture we as a society are moving too fast and some parents hardly give quality time to their kids. This is the biggest problem with this generation of families. They neglect the basic things and chase superficial things.

A younger generation deprived of love, care and understanding may lose their track in this rat race and might feel that there is no one they can trust or speak their heart out to. There is too much noise in the world and access to too much information while kids only need time with their families, just time. They need someone who can hold their vulnerable side and tell them that everything is going to be okay and also give them a basic understanding of what’s right and wrong. Kids most of time just need that direction and guidance and the feeling that someone is always there with them and that they are proud of them.

We as a society can declare a film as misogynistic which is okay because we have to point that out. However, we forget to take the other things in to consideration like lack of parenting, lack of love, childhood traumas etc. But we only pick the thing that is easy to point out and speak or bash over social media. We as a society of human beings and individuals have to show maturity and start talking about the hard things too. We have to come as a society and fix the little things right from the early stages of a child’s growth. We have to take care of them, not quarrel in front of them or expose them to domestic violence. We have to rather show them how to love and educate them about every trivial thing there is.

Also the fact is that films cannot be released directly into the theatres. They have to get an approval. They are given a rating and certification which tells which section of people may watch it. And when it is mentioned as violent and offensive then the audience who can’t watch it or gets easily triggered shouldn’t go and watch it. And if there is an issue with the national board then we should also call that out.

From filmmaking stand point this film, Animal is a brilliant masterpiece, a work of art. I’m so glad that Indian films are finally progressing in terms of cinematography, performances, production and overall execution. It’s truly grand and also entertaining at the same time. More importantly it’s unapologetic. (You can have your own opinion, free world.) If you have watched the films of Quintin Tarantino then you will know what I’m talking about. Of course there is a difference in the portrayal but hopefully we are getting there.

This doesn’t mean that the film doesn’t have its flaws. It does come with its own shortcomings like any film does. The issue with this film is that the makers tried to glorify violence and misogyny. They should try to keep it real. In the past too many films have come out which showed the justification of mass killings and portrayal of an anti hero story arc. I think directors and screenwriters should learn from this. They should put their mind in to this and show something for what it is and not glorify it.

But when we talk about the problems with a film we should also talk about problems that exist in the real world. This film has probably shown only 10% of the violence than what is actually going on in our society everyday - rapes, gang rapes, children being abused and women being molested, domestic violence, brutal killings by their own partners, acid attacks, road side murders, mass murders, an actual genocide happening, a whole country being wiped out by another… i can just keep going. Animal is nothing compared to the level of toxicity and violence that exists in the everyday world, in the news and in social media. The real world has gotten much more worse. It’s filled with terror and is very unsafe, specially for women.

If we have so much time to talk about a film then why not a minute to talk about all the real incidents happening around the world? Innocent families and children are being slaughtered everyday like animals.

When will we talk about the actual events happening? What are we waiting for?

Let’s talk about the real problems and things that are wrong in our society, in the real world and not wait for it to happen with our own family.

avis

[onlyswan]

heyy art :)

do you maybe have any advice on how to overcome a burnout??

School has been so exhausting. I have a test after test and I’ve been studying to the point where I haven’t left my room in hours. I spent about 18 hours studying this weekend because of a test tomorrow.

And the thing that bothers me the most about this situation is that I’m never satisfied with my results cause i know I could have done better than that. I feel guilty every time I take a much needed break because i know I could’ve used that time to study more.

I’m aware that I have a problem with being proud of my own achievements and I sometimes forget that it is my first time living on this earth but I genuinely feel so helpless.

(Also English isn’t my first language so I apologize if this didn’t make any sense!!)

hi anonie! 🌼

burnout has definitely been a very prominent predicament of mine too since forever, and it’s only become worse now that i’m in uni and the odds are larger :( but i think ultimately it’s important to never forget that our life doesn’t revolve around school, or work, and they’re only a part of it and one ways for us to grow 🌱 and it’s essential that we pursue other avenues to find fulfillment! there should be a balance between work, rest, and entertainment— then we can achieve harmony within ourselves :D when we rest and allow ourselves to indulge in enjoyment, we are also doing ourselves a favor in terms of academics because then our brain is filled with happy chemicals 🥺 and we have the motivation and optimism to study and reach our dreams !!

as someone who also grew up to be an overachiever 🥲 trust me you don’t want to wait until you reach your breaking point. pressure also clouds our judgement and sometimes that leads to errors, and then we hold ourselves back from improving because we dwell on what we can’t be undone. accepting that we are only human is one of the best things we can do for ourselves <3

and your english is perfect beloved 🥰 i don’t know if i was much help haha but please find happiness and be healthy always. you are so precious and you deserve all the beautiful things life has to offer 💞

[starlightshadowsworld]

Hey, what is your thought about we slowly overwrite western judgement on arabs and Palestinian as Terrorist, into us saying that France is Terrorist Lover country for funding Israel, United Kingdon into Queen/Mother of Terrorist, and United States into United Terrorist? It fits them better. We have to turn their propaganda into the most degrading and embaraasing boomerang.

I want these countries to lose their attractiveness, good images, trust, and any good propaganda that they make to their name.

I appreciate that you think I'm in any way qualified to answer this.

Because I'm definitely not.

What I will say is that I am all for it.

Because the glamour and supposed prestige western countries exhibit is something we need to be critical off.

Because it's allowed them to get this far exploiting people both past and present.

They frame Arabs as violent as savage when they are the ones being slaughtered and tortured.

Whole countries and nations have been systematically uprooted and changed forever.

And those affects are still felt today.

In Palestine, Congo, Sudan, Afghanistan, Pakistan etc.

All things that were started by and than escalated by these western countries who have than reaped the benefits.

What we've learned from the way media is covering Palestine, is that the language we use is so important.

And using that language properly, well it's the least we can do.

And we should do, those like the UK and the US have blood on their hands from this and so many other conflicts worldwide.

They are able to do shit like veto a UN Security Council resolution for a ceasefire in a genocide.

Of destabilising and assassinating world leaders in countries they don't want to succeed.

And if their own laws won't hold them accountable, we should.

But while we do that, it's important we share other cultures, share narratives and stories and art and food from all other the world.

And embrace them.

White supremacist ideology can't be upheld if there's no idealised view of whiteness.

That these countries desperately cling on to.

... I dunno if I answered this right I am very much sleep deprived and have provably gone off on a tangent.

But yes I agree.

We can't forget this, what they've done and continue to do elsewhere.

We will not forget this.

And we will mock them mercilessly for it.

And I say all this as a Pakistani born and raised in the UK.

People are walking down the streets in protest shouting Rishi Sunak is a twat and a wasteman.

I am all for this.

And using their own words against them? Oh they'll hate that.

Never let them forget they are the animals here.

That they always have been.

[elvendorx]

Hi! I really like your blog! I was just wondering, how do you manage to find canon-based marauders content? I’m pretty new to Tumblr and while I follow the main tags, I’m tired of the short and shallow Siriuses, activist Jameses, and naive Lupins that don’t seem anything like the marauders I fell in love with. And the hatred for Snape and the condescension towards his fans makes me super scared to interact with blogs since I have posted Snape content on my main blog and I feel like I’d be eaten alive. I’m so overwhelmed! Do you use filters to help you? Or is it just finding and following the right people? Thanks for any and all advice!

hello and thank you! <3

a lot of it honestly is just finding and following the right people. the exact balance of that is personal that it will take a while to feel like you're consistently seeing things on your own specific wavelength but it's definitely doable. i think once you find one blog you really align with, see who they interact with regularly, check out those blogs, then check out who those blogs follow, etc etc. i used to systematically go through likes and reblogs on posts i liked, but once you find a few blogs you really enjoy, you'll end up finding more like-minded people quite naturally. and honestly, anyone who expects you to have the exact same tolerances for different characters as they do is probably not going to be much fun to interact with anyway.

i use filters for things i absolutely never want to see but not everything gets tagged/not everything that is tagged is the thing you don't want to see (so much sirius solo art/gen marauder stuff is tagged wolfstar) but it works and i would recommend it for absolute no-gos.

the main tags unfortunately are not safe spaces anymore and tbh if there's anything worth seeing in there, someone else will reblog it so it ends up on your dash anyway. sometimes i look in the prongsfoot tag but if anything look at anti (ship)/anti (character) tags lol and sometimes finding people who dislike the same things as you is also a good way to find like-minded people - hating can work, kids.

specifically for mwpp stuff, in my broad experience, snape fans are often more comfortable with the morally grey thing so they have solid views on snape AND sirius, james and remus, tho obviously you get the ultra protective stans too. but def follow snape fans if you are even slighty interested in snape, it's a great way of seeing how other pockets of hp fandom function. also, you could have identical views on a character as someone but you love them and they hate them, for the same reasons, and i feel like the joy is in finding the same interpretation, it's very fun and just in life it's good to see different perspectives. i got unfollowed a while back for a snape post i can't even remember but it was like 5 people and honestly the right people will probably be cooler than you think about it :)

so really my advice boils down to:

know what you do and don't want to see

know what you can and can't tolerate seeing (things that annoy you or more serious triggers)

find connections through sources you trust

try finding a mix of people who like the same things as you do/people who dislike the same things you do/people who you might not always agree with in judgement but whose analyses and approaches are objective

and eventually you'll have a great balanced lil circle <3

anyway a few recommendations of people i follow who i think offer great hp ideas:

@remus-poopin @narcissa-black-supermacy @ashesandhackles @urupotter @act-more-like-a-dog-sirius

but also consider anyone i follow/interact with a lot an endorsement! hope u have fun exploring :)

[purplefeathersandblackleather]

❤️ and ☮️ for Doctor Strange (main timeline?)

616 this time huh? Alright, let me see what I got rolling around up here.

Family & Friendship Headcanons for Stephen Strange

Stephen starts off guarded because not only does he not know you, but he's also got too much on his plate to really hang around and talk for more than a few minutes at a time. He usually greets you, but it usually never goes beyond that, but it's very clear he's usually in a hurry.

The greetings turn into pleasantries over time of him actually seeing that you're going to be around more frequently than he initially thought. After about six or seven months, he finally stops you to actually get your name and properly introduce him, though you already know him. He denies everything Wong or anyone else has told you - except the library incident.

The man loves to flex; not physical strength, but with knowledge. Like What If Strange, he's happy to talk for quite a long period of time if the circumstances are right for the two of you and you both have the time. His favorite subjects are medicine (obviously), old movies, classic music, the mystic arts and literature. But the moment you even remotely try to inquire about him as a person, he clams up.

After many long conversations and missions both on Earth and outside of its dimension, he finally calls you to the Sanctum and sits you down for a long talk. He "shows himself" to you, tells you about what he went through with his accident, Dormammu, the loss of the Ancient One and the Infinity War.

Now that you've gained his trust, he allows himself to be vulnerable around you and coaxes you to do the same because he believes in equal give and take. If he can show his wounds to you, then he's more than willing to see yours and not judge you for them. This makes him extremely comfortable, and he becomes protective of you over the following months/years to follow.

"Have you eaten today?" "Yeah, this morning before class/work." "What did you have?" "A couple of pieces of fruit and a smoothie." "... Kitchen. Now."

If someone has hurt you, even by accident, he's quick to pass judgement against them. He's not proud of this, but he does it because he doesn't like seeing you upset. He always asks the person who hurt you to apologize and if they don't, you'll probably hear about their furniture being stuck to their ceiling when they come into class/work the next day.

When you go to him crying over something that happened that was particularly bad, this is when he gets a little nervous even into established friendship. It makes him feel awkward when people lean on him for emotional support because he's still learning how to even show emotions properly himself. That being said, he does not hesitate to wrap you in Cloak and hold you until either you can talk about it clearly and he can help, or you've passed out from crying, so he takes you to the guest room for the night.

Even though he's prideful and makes a point of letting you know that he prefers to be independent, you may or may not get a request from him for help cleaning the Sanctum, cooking a meal or two or even something as simple as fixing the bed when his hands are hurting so bad that he can't handle it.

After the incidents with Peter and America, it becomes clear to you that despite "not wanting children", he adopts people because he wants a family. That's not to say that he wants a biological one of his own, but he takes people in and cares for them the way that he never was: Especially children.

He cares for them like they're his own blood, and you like you're a relative, because he's lost so many people before. This includes making sure you've stayed hydrated, you're physically and mentally well or getting enough rest. He's borderline paranoid about your health partially because he was a doctor, but most because he is who he is and doesn't change.

When someone he has "adopted" is hurt, he goes into full "papa bear" mode. He starts off angry that you got hurt, both at you and at the person responsible, then it wanes into worry that you didn't ask him for help if it was a mission or that he couldn't be there to protect you if it was something in everyday life. This always wanes into fear and depression because he's scared that he's going to lose you or the kids after finally finding his "family".

"You're such a beautiful family! It's so rare to see a beautiful/handsome couple with two teenage children who they're so close to." "Oh, we're not- "Thank you for noticing."

He's very aware of what boundaries are and if they're set by you or the teens, he's very complacent. He may push on occasion to see if you're softening around the edges, but if you push back, he immediately drops it and waits for you to let him know when you're emotionally available, even if it drives him nuts. Silence is one of the worst things that you can do to this man, because it makes him get lost in his own head.

He's quiet about it, but he's terrified of the Darkhold that resides inside of him and more often than not, he'll hide away in the study or Kamar-Taj when it flares up. Wong always goes to you because you're the only one who can get him to calm down enough to think clearly, be kind to himself and make the darkness recede. He will spend the next hour holding onto you tightly and he's not ashamed to admit it.

Under his "stoic wizard exterior", he's a lot of fun to be around and knows how to spend an evening cheering up the teens when they're upset. America is having menstrual cramps? He gets her the best pain killers he can, six different kinds of snack foods and puts on one of the cheesiest movies that he can think of. Peter is having a PTSD attack over Tony? He talks him through it, helping him with box breathing. He then brings out either the board games, text books or puts on a stand-up comedy that he knows Peter likes (even if it's not his favorite thing).

The worst thing to him is when you're mad, especially if he doesn't know why. He gives you space, but by now has learned all of you soft spots and will slip in small things that you like throughout the day - trinkets, flowers, treats, etc. - until he notices that you have finally relaxed and will talk to him. Early on in your friendship, he told you that he doesn't like anger because of his past, but he accepts it's part of human nature. You always end up apologizing and sitting with your head on his shoulder as you both drink tea to let the rest of the emotions finish ebbing away.

Honest is the only thing he ever truly asks for whenever you've finally become a constant part of his life. He doesn't like to be lied to and doesn't handle it well when he finds out that you have done so. It's not ever to the point of yelling, but he gets very stern and does not budge in his judgement of what you've lied about. The only way he can understand a lie is if you did it to protect someone or protect yourself. At that point, he will ask you to be honest instead so that he can help you.

"Family time" with this variant is very important to him as much as it is to the rest of you. On certain days of the week, you all make plans to do things together as a family. Games, movies, dinner. On more than one occasion when you went out to different places, you're mistaken for an actual family. Both of you have grown used to it at this point and Wong pokes fun at you for it, which Stephen gets back at him for by calling him "Uncle Wong" or his "work husband".

This one is a lot of fun and most of these I've actually used in role-plays or personal stories, so it was very easy to write. I hope you liked my take on friendship to family dynamics with 616!

@sobeautifullyobsessed @fanartka @icytrickster17 @harlekin6 @strangelockd @cirocity @bakerstreethound @foxssketching

[its-vannah]

Haunted | Sebastian Sallow x Reader

A/N: So…I’m sorry in advance to anyone who reads this. It’s…emotionally damaging.

Warnings: So, so much angst, mentions of death, mentions of sickness, major spoilers for Hogwarts Legacy, grief, broken friendships, right person/wrong time

Speak Now x Sebastian Sallow Masterlist

You and I walk a fragile line

“Sebastian…” You trailed off, tears welling in your eyes as memories of his uncle’s lifeless body on the ground replayed through your head.

But he remained still, unable to process what had just happened. It all went by so fast: Solomon dueling you, Sebastian casting the killing curse at his uncle, and Anne sending her brother flying back when she saw what he had done.

I have known it all this time

Ominis had told you time and time again that Sebastian was taking everything too far. But your dedication and loyalty towards your first true friend at Hogwarts had sent you on a path alongside him.

But I never thought I'd live to see it break

You’d tell yourself he’d stop, that he’d realize when he was going too far. He promised you himself that if he ever found himself going too deep, he wouldn’t go any further.

But Sebastian had never been the greatest at keeping his promises.

It's getting dark and it's all too quiet

You knelt down beside him, “You promised you wouldn’t let it get this far. You promised.”

“I don’t want to get into what I promised and what I didn’t,” Sebastian hissed, “I just lost my own uncle—I don’t need you to guilt me into regret.”

And I can't trust anything now

You tensed up at his words, “You don’t regret what you did? What led up to it?”

“He almost killed you—he stopped me from saving Anne! You know I did the right thing, Y/N. I had no other choice.”

And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

You should’ve tried to stop him. All those promises he made, all the times he blindly led you into danger—nothing would ever be enough for him unless his sister was healed.

Mistakes had been made on both of your parts—but you couldn’t help but think if you had stopped him sooner, that none of this would’ve happened.

Oh, I'm holding my breath

“You just killed someone, Sebastian. How did you have no other choice?” You choked, sinking back on your heels, fingers gripping the earth around you to try and ground yourself.

Won't lose you again

The past few months had flown by, with you running to his aid in order to keep an eye on him. Ominis didn’t want to lose him to the dark arts—and neither did you. But it was too late. He was already gone—you had lost him.

Something's made your eyes go cold

Searching his eyes for any sign of remorse, the only emotion you could find on his face was one of determination and anger. He was more hurt that his uncle had destroyed the relic than he was that he had murdered his own blood.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

Blinking back the tears as your mind spun, you reached for his hand, gripping it tightly, “Sebastian—please stop. You can’t do this ever again.”

I thought I had you figured out

“If I give up now, I give up on Anne. And I will never give up on my sister.”

Something's gone terribly wrong

Sebastian was a shadow of the boy you had grown to know and, against better judgement, fall in love with.

You're all I wanted

You had always dreamt of holding his hand in yours, brushing your lips against his knuckles. But you never thought that the dream of holding his hand would be your worst nightmare.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

“Sebastian, please,” You cried, “You’ve gone too far—this is what Ominis was worried about. What Solomon was worried about. Please.”

I thought I had you figured out

Sebastian rose from the ground, his hand still entwined in yours.

“Help me, Y/N. Help me cure Anne.”

“I’ve trying to help you come to your senses, Sebastian. Stop this. Please,” You begged, but he merely tried to pull his hand away.

Tightening your grip, you pleaded with him not to go any further. But he finally shrugged your hand away, leaving you a weeping mess.

Can't breathe whenever you're gone

Watching him leave, you could hardly contain your tears. You had witness a murder and the downfall of your best friend—the boy you loved—in the span of an hour.

Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Returning to Hogwarts that night, you found yourself feeling hollow. You walked back to your dormitory numb, your ears ringing and head spinning whenever you thought about the events that had just unfolded.

Stood there and watched you walk away

At the end of the hallway, you spotted Sebastian entering the Undercroft. Normally, you’d be on his heels, ready to follow him to the ends of the earth. But now you found yourself watching him walk away, standing still as if time had frozen.

From everything we had

Memories of all the months you had spent with Sebastian by your side came racing back into your mind. The two of you were unstoppable together: at the top of your class, the best duelists in the school, and always getting into some sort of mischief.

But I still mean every word I said to you

Despite everything he had said and done, you know deep down that you’d forgive him in a heartbeat if he only asked. Your love for him easily replaced the disappointment.

He will try to take away my pain

Over the next few months, you saw Sebastian less and Garreth and Natty more. You tried to surround yourself with positivity—even though your mind was elsewhere.

Natty would try and take you on adventures of your own while Garreth got you tangled up in potion making. They understood you were hurting and they did everything in their power to try and take it away.

And he just might make me smile

But they were idiots. They knew you were faking every smile, recognized that your laughs sounded phony, and noticed your eyes were empty.

But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead

You would give anything to make things go back to the way they were before… before…

Oh, holding my breath

Excusing yourself from the table with Natty and Garreth, you exited the Great Hall, trying to steady your nerves.

Won't see you again

Pacing around the empty corridor, you tried to think of the last time you were happy. But every memory had something to do with Sebastian or Ominis. And thinking of the latter made you think of the former and that made you think of—

Something keeps me holding on to nothing

You spotted Sebastian out of the corner of your eye, his focus on you.

He’d never admit this, but he worried about you. He’d never stop what he was doing—but he took notice of your changing behavior and often watched you from afar, just to make sure you were okay.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

Your eyes met his, but the second he noticed you were looking back at him, he bolted, speed walking through the halls.

I thought I had you figured out

Against better judgement, you followed him, trying to keep up with him.

“Sebastian!” You called out, “Wait—please!”

Something's gone terribly wrong

It didn’t take long before he was trapped in the astronomy tower with no where to run. He couldn’t hide from you anymore.

“Y/N—you shouldn’t be here.”

“You shouldn’t be running!” You exclaimed, nearly out of breath from running up three flights of stairs.

Sebastian groaned, gripping the balcony railing, “You make your choice, Y/N, and I made mine.”

You're all I wanted

“Merlin, Sebastian, are you that daft? You’re the only thing I wanted—the only person I wanted to see each day. You were my best friend and I—I—Merlin, I loved you. I still do. And it hurts knowing that I’ll never even remotely come first.”

He sighed, unable to meet your gaze, “I love you, too, but I can’t…I can’t focus on anything or anyone else until Anne is healed.”

Your shoulders sank in defeat and you once again found yourself blinking back the tears that welled in your eyes.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

Grabbing his hand, you pulled him back towards you, your lips crashing on his. He deepened the embrace, his hands finding your waist while yours grabbed the color of his shirt, pulling him as close as you could.

Your back against the wall, your hands made their way through his hair, tangling in his brown locks.

When the two of you finally pulled away, your foreheads resting against each other, both of you were out of breath.

Pressing one last chaste kiss to your lips, Sebastian slowly stepped away.

I thought I had you figured out

Biting down on your bottom lip, you tried to contain the sobs that tried racking through your body.

Can't breathe whenever you're gone

You couldn’t breathe—he truly had taken your breath away. Sinking down to the floor, you closed your eyes.

Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Now, it was you who was a fraction of the girl you used to be.

I know

He had changed.

I know

You had changed.

I just know

And nothing would ever be the same again.

You're not gone, you can't be gone, no

The Sebastian you had known and fallen in love with was gone—replaced with someone you couldn’t even recognize.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

You’d do anything to see “your Sebastian” one last time. But that wasn’t possible.

I thought I had you figured out

What if you had been wrong—what if the man Sebastian had become was who he had been the whole time? Had he been lying to you—misguiding you—hell, manipulating you?

Something's gone terribly wrong

What if this was your fault? If you had said something sooner, maybe he would’ve—maybe he’d still—you could barely think.

Won't finish what you started

The truth was, it was unlikely he’d figure out a way to cure Anne. And even if he did, he’d be so overcome by the dark arts he’d probably wind up selling his soul to the wrong people.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

Rising from the floor, you gripped the railing before you, watching as the clouds shifted in the sky.

I thought I had you figured out

From now on, you wouldn’t let the past control your future. No matter how much your heart ached and long for Sebastian, you’d put one foot in front of the other until you had moved on.

Can't breathe whenever you're gone

Taking a deep breath, the fresh spring air filled your lungs.

Can't go back, I'm haunted

“Goodbye, Sebastian…” You muttered, pulling away from the balcony.

You and I walk a fragile line

From then on, whenever you saw him in the hallway, you avoided making any sort of eye contact with him. You no longer followed him into the secret corners of Hogwarts—instead, you made your own path.

I have known it all this time

Your friendship with Ominis was mending, although it would take time. Now, your time was mostly spent with Natty and Garreth.

Never ever thought I'd see it break

For the first time in a long time, a genuine smile settled over your face at one of the Weasley’s failed experiments. You and Natty just shook your heads, a small laugh escaping each of your lips.

Never thought I'd see it

It still hurt, seeing him in the hallway on his own. You never thought you’d see the day where he was walking without you by his side.

But you were healing—no matter how haunted you remained.

[middlespacekingdom]

it's wild that in quiet moments as i reflect on winding down a long high-level competition belaying career i realize that i've learned to never be cocky

i've done cocky in the past and usually for reason

it's because i've done a few things really well in my life...some say i've been the world's best at some things

(honestly, who knows if i've been "world's best" at anything, but i've always felt that i've had to do better because i've always manufactured areas and reasons to be better)

but sometimes cocky best serves a particular situation or a particular activity

not belaying...belaying, man...one bad belay, one lapse, one poor judgement, one missed safety check can ruin your career and will absolutely destroy your reputation

and reputation is all that matters in high level competition belaying; when world class athletes at world championships say, "I was hoping I'd get you" OR "Oh, now I can go for it!" OR when the entire Male Junior Championship finalists beg you to belay their category...

reputation makes champions

one bad belay and you just have to bow out of the activity and become a "fan" because all trust is gone--people whispering behind your back that you've lost it

one bad belay and athletes who used to do the riskiest shit because you were on the other end of the string now perform worse because they don't know if you can catch risky anymore

reputations are built from repetitions: repetitions make reputations

reps make reps

and people who know apparently really know and will tell you so

just this weekend and mostly on the field of play as i’m either taking athletes to their approaches or settling them down after:

a Collegiate athlete asked me how i got so good

a Collegiate athlete thanked me for being at the event and said it meant a lot to everyone

a Collegiate athlete told me that i was his first belayer at his first comp

the Youth Qualifier Head Setter told me i was his first belayer at his first Elite Comp

a parent walked up to me to, "…just say I wanted to meet you and also thank you because I've seen you everywhere"

but best of all, a young Youth Qualifier demanded of me, "Now don't deck me!"

my colleagues may have laughed but i respected her and respected the moment and i assured her that i would belay the best i could

we're morose goofballs all of the time and we're whiny divas some of the time but we're still not cocky about belaying--we may perform cocky but it's not about our belaying

we know that confidence serves us better than cocky

we also have to decompress sometimes and that sometimes becomes extremely silly--everyone knows this

what people don't know is that the best of us are absolute belay nerds; students of the art, intellectuals, artists, dancers, the like

what people don't know is that the best of us spend time practicing comp belaying and we are constantly bolstering our minds and bodies (apparently reflex and agility training is belaying too)

to belay

the greats just walk away when it's their time to walk away on their very own terms like Barry Sanders or my mentor

i'm still learning from my mentor

safe • consistent • professional is the only three things that matter--skill, instinct, reflex, and performance are all wrapped into those three words: safe • consistent • professional

[accidentalbi]

a small assortment of lyrics from my playlists, 3 - ?

" I'm sorry, but your story isn't adding up. "

" Think your religion is a lie to keep my mouth shut. "

" I won't testify to crimes you're keeping score of. "

" Why don't you throw me to the wolves? I thought you were one. "

" You were standing there like an angry god, counting off my sins just to cross them off. "

" Saying that my tongue was too loud to trust. "

" My dear, you're not so innocent. "

" You're fooling Heaven's gates so you won't have to change. "

" You're no saint. "

" Your revelations don't look nothing like the pictures. "

" You read between the lines and don't stick to the scriptures. "

" You only follow rules if others follow with you. "

" That doesn't sound so holy. "

" That doesn't sound so holy, only playing victim. "

" Keep your judgement for someone else, I've had enough. "

" How much is art really worth? "

" The very thing you're best at is the thing that hurts the most. "

" But you need your rotten heart. "

" You need to go to war to find material to sing. "

" I need my golden crown of sorrow, my bloody sword to sing; my empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology. "

" Just when you think you have it figured out, something new begins to take. "

" What strange claws are these, scratching at my skin? "

" I never knew my killer would be coming from within. "

" I was never as good as I always thought I was. "

" I was never as good as I always thought I was, but I knew how to dress it up. "

" I was never satisfied, it never let me go. "

" I'm in love with an angel, Heaven forbid. "

" Made me a believer with the touch of her skin. "

" I go to Hell and back with you. "

" I go to Hell and back with you, stay lost in what we found. "

" Worlds apart, we were the same until we hit the ground. "

" Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm weak. "

" Maybe I'm blinded by what I see. "

" You wanted a soldier, but it wasn't me. "

" So fly on your own. "

" It's time I let you go. "

" I'm in love with an angel who's afraid of the light. "

" Her halo is broken, but there's fight in her eyes. "

" Walls were built to keep us safe until they're crashing down. "

" So glad to see you well, overcome and completely silent now. "

" With Heaven's help, you cast your demons out. "

" And not to pull your halo down around your neck and tug you off your cloud -- "

" I'm more than just a little curious how you're planning to go about making your amends to the dead. "

" Recall the deeds as if they're all someone else's atrocious stories. "

" Now you stand reborn before us all. "

" And not to pull your halo down around your neck and tug you to the ground -- "

" With your halo slipping down to choke you now. "

" I used to float, now I just fall down. "

" I used to know, but I'm not sure now what I was made for. "

" What was I made for? "

" I was an ideal. "

" Turns out I'm not real. "

" I don't know how to feel. "

" I don't know how to feel, but I wanna try. "

" When did it end? All the enjoyment. "

" I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend. "

" Think I forgot how to be happy. "

" Something I'm not, but something I can be. "

" Something I wait for, something I'm made for. "

" You can be a lover or a fighter, whatever you desire. "

" Wings of a butterfly, eyes of a tiger. "

" Whatever you want, baby; choose your fighter. "

" I know this world can be a little confusing, no walk in the park. "

" I can help you solve the riddle; you're perfect as you are. "

" You're perfect as you are. "

" If you wanna break out of the box, wanna call all of the shots, if you wanna be sweet or be soft, then go off. "

" Don't let nobody tell you you can't. "

" It's giving thunder and lightning. "

" I can feel the floor shaking and the glass begin to break. "

" The air is getting thinner with every breath that I take. "

" The calm before the storm, you could hear the drop of a pin. "

" Never been claustrophobic, but now the walls are closing in. "

" I've crossed every line, broken every boundary. "

" Now it's retribution time. "

" Strike me down, take me away. "

" Debts are due, it's time to pay. "

" Face what I deserve. "

" Here comes judgement day. "

" I won't run, the guilt is mine. "

" Too long denying all my crimes. "

" Hearts are easily broken when you've been made in the shade. "

" Don't do love, don't do friends. "

" I'm only after success. "

" Don't need a relationship. "

" I'll never soften my grip. "

" I just want to make a change. "

" I know exactly what I want and who I want to be. "

" I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine. "

" I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy. "

" One track mind, one track heart. "

" If I fail, I'll fall apart. "

" Maybe it is all a test. "

" I feel like I'm the worst, so I always act like I'm the best. "

" If you are not very careful, your possessions will possess you. "

" Now real life has no appeal. "

" I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly. "

" I'm gonna fly. "

" I'm gonna fail. "

" I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna die. "

" I'm gonna die. "

[olivieblake]

Hey Olivie!! Hope you’re well :)

I have loved and followed your big sis advice for years now, and I could use some of it now.

I have always been the kind of individual who has really close 1:1 friendships, but has always yearned for a friend group. I’m in my second year of college, and last year, I finally felt belonging with a group of people, but all of them are seniors and have graduated. I know I am a loved human being, but a lot of the people I love most are long distance now, and I feel lonely in my day-to-day life. I always have seemed to get along with people older than me, but my mom put it bluntly: I need friends my age. I can get along with anyone, but in terms of choosing who I actually click with and invest in, it is very few people. My friends who graduated were all individuals who had similar vibes and energy as me—we enjoyed art, philosophy, and just being silly together. Even now, I’ll look for people with similar interests, but it just doesn’t click. I wish I had something more concrete to go off of—I like a lot of people, but I wouldn’t call them “my people”. I found one girl I really click with, but she’s super flaky and doesn’t seem reliable. I want to love deeply and be loved back deeply, to choose and be chosen.

I’d love to hear your two cents on this. How have female friendships blossomed for you? Am I being too picky or judgemental? Am I doomed to be a floater, a social nomad never belonging to anyone?

Anyways. Thanks! Love you. Boutta reread masters of death, it’s that time of year.

man, I won't lie, finding and maintaining meaningful friendship has been harder in my personal experience than romantic love. there honestly shouldn't even be a distinction! it's a difference of texture, not process. finding someone you vibe with and can be vulnerable with and can trust with your intimacy and tenderness and care and also rely on even though there is no social protocol for friendship the way there is for romantic partnership is a real mind-bender. I think it just depends on how you choose to prioritize your relationships, energy, and time. finding friends is hard, especially if you're coming from a group that already had its own dynamic and fabric, but it just comes down to being open to connection and valuing people for what they bring to your life, even if it's just the possibility of something bigger. be open, be honest about yourself and your passions, and that will take you pretty far, but also, genuine connection is rare. which means it might be hard to find (that's the bad news) and you should nurture it when you have it (that's the actionable item). I meet smart, funny, kind, thoughtful, interesting women all the time, but my openness to them is often what determines the difference between friendship and acquaintanceship.

"I want to love deeply and be loved back deeply, to choose and be chosen" is a great way to put it, and something to hold onto, because knowing what you want is a great first step to being able to make the choices to honor it

[justwannaflex]

(—) ★ spotted!! ZEYNEP YILMAZ on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 25 year old looks like HAFSANUR SANCAKTUTAN, but i don’t really see it. while the ARTIST, JOURNALIST & POLITICAL ACTIVIST is known for being CARING my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be IMPULSIVE i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME by TAYLOR SWIFT {she + her / cis female}

Headline

"Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct, or for being years ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Stats

name: zeynep yilmaz

age: 25

nicknames: Z

date of birth: 1998

place of birth: Istanbul (Turkey)

nationality : turkish

gender identity: cis woman (she/her)

sexuality: bi-curious

family : tba

occupation: journalist, activist & artist

career claim: banksy

net worth : not much lol

spoken languages : turkish, arabic & english

positive traits: caring, brave, curious, lively, creative, loyal

negative traits: impulsive, judgemental, short tempered, resentful, loud

characters/celebrities inspo: tba

zodiac sign : tba

Bio

Zeynep was born in Istanbul to university professor parents. She was raised in the most beautiful and lively city which was almost like another family member to her. Thanks to her parents she spent a lot of time around the brightest turkish minds. Her house was always buzzing with activity and visitors. Just like the city. Zeynep never knew quiet. She embodied everything hectic, passionate, lively and loud ever since she was a little girl.

She grew up around intellectuals, activists, artists and they all inspired her. She greatly admired her parents and their friends. They all encouraged the little girl to develop her voice and her artistic talents. They enthusiastically posed for portraits or debated with Zeynep about how unfair it was that she had to go to bed while everyone else was staying up. She had a beautiful childhood full of love and stimulation.

Inspired by her parents and their friends, she had a passion for politics and naturally she chose to study journalism. She wanted her voice to be heard, through a pen but also through paint. She started to graph at the age of 9 years old. Even before that, if you counted the walls of her family's house. What she could not say with her words, she would paint. Istanbul became her canvas. Whenever she would travel, she also made sure to leave a mark in any city she visited.

In 2017, at 19 years old, Zeynep moved to England to study journalism since there was no prospect for her in her own country. Since 2016, free press was basically dead in Turkey. She also had seen her own parents and many of their friends get arrested or flee the country. She knew she could not remain in Istanbul anymore. So with a student visa, she started a new life in England. She planned on one day running a turkish media based outside of the country so her voice and many others could still be heard.

She also kept graffing. After Istanbul, her works of political and social commentary have appeared on streets, walls, and bridges throughout the world. She started to get noticed and took the pseudonymous Banksy. She uses a blog to claim her works. She knows that she has to remain anonymous to retain her freedom of speech. Only her family and a selected few knows that Zeynep is Banksy.

She is enraged that her work is sold for millions sometimes and more often than not without her permission. She chose the streets and buildings as her canvas so her work would belong to the people. Yet greedy capitalists tear down walls to make a profit of her art. However whenever her trusted agency sells her work, Zeynep donates the money to fund NGOs, people and projects. She especially funds freedom of speech, the arts and war relief.

At 22 she graduated and started to work freelancing and published articles on a blog, until she gathered enough attention to get hired by BBC Turkish. While working for the British news channel, Zeynap kept her blog and was also pretty active on social medias. A few months ago, she received an offer from a billionaire who wanted to start a new media and offered her to cover Turkey and the middle east.

Now she lives in Los Angeles and tries to navigate that new world, so far away from home.

Career

Zeynep worked for BBC turkish from 2021 to 2023. She knows work for a brand new media : tba. She is also Banksy.