#truly what a show i wish there were more like it
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multific · 3 days ago
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Gifts and Cake
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Emperor Geta x Reader
Summary: Your marriage was arranged but your love for each other was not.
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Marrying him was not in your favour.
He took a liking to you at one of your father's parties and now, you were his wife.
Emperor Geta truly showed his other side to you.
While people saw a raging crazy man, he was kind and sweet with you.
An unmerciful ruler, but a kind husband.
He always made sure you had everything you wanted. 
And as your birthday approached, he came to you during the day.
Bursting into the room you currently sat, reading and eating fruit.
"Tomorrow is your birthday, My Darling Wife, I wish to know what it is that your heart desires?" his question was so sudden you froze for a moment.
"I believe I have everything because I have you, My Husband. But I do know you and you mean gifts, I simply wish for cake, you know my love for sweets and if it's not too much a new pet." you ended up saying.
"A pet? What kind? A tiger or lion perhaps?"
"No, nothing like that, I simply wish for a healthy kitten." 
"A kitten. Why a cat if I may I ask?" you watched as his face filled with confusion.
"I adore them, and I wish for a small companion to be with me when you can't." His eyes lit up at your words and a smile spread on his lips.. 
"My Sweet Darling!" he kissed your hand before darting out of the room you smiled at his actions. 
He left just as he arrived.
—-
The next morning came, you woke up to your husband missing from his side of your bed, but soon, he entered with servants.
All carried presents for you.
"My Love! This day is special, we celebrate your birth after all! To show my love for you, these are all presents from me." 
"Thank you!" you smiled as the servants placed all gifts around you and left, leaving you and your husband who eagerly watched you and waited for your reaction.
You began with a smaller box, it had a beautiful new ring inside.
"To match my own." Geta spoke up and you looked at him, seeing his hand you noticed the same ring on his pinky. 
"I really like it. Thank you."
You looked at all the presents which included a lot of different jewellery, dresses and sweet things.
"I really liked everything, Geta. Thank you." you smiled as he waved a finger at you.
"Not everything. Of course, we will hold a party tonight, there will be cake as I promised and I still have one gift for you." 
The entire day went by pretty usual.
During the evening as promised, there was a party held in your honour.
You had so many sweets and enjoyed the songs. Your husband was there as you laughed and enjoyed yourself.
Caracalla was another pleasant surprise with his lovely gift. He arranged for you and Geta a lovely bath in a popular bathhouse.
But most importantly, your husband finally gave you your last gift. 
"As promised, My Empress, your new pet. Name him as you please." a beautiful white kitten sat in Geta's arms. Such a small and gentle being.
You stood up from your seat and your husband handed you the kitten.
"Thank you, My Love. I'm very happy. Today has been the happiest." you said with a smile and a kiss to your husband's lips.
"It is only the beginning, we still have much wine to drink and we will head to our chambers." he whispered the last part into your ears, and you smiled at him once more.
"I truly love you, Geta."
"And I love you, My Empress." 
You sealed your love with a kiss.
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Taglist: 
@castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou 
@mandoloriancookie @deliciousfestsalad @lilliumrorum @asgards-princess-of-mischief 
@fallout-girl219 @dracaryxzs @snowtargaryen 
~Masterlist~
ˇAO3ˇ
/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE, TO STEAL OR TO REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/
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avelera · 2 days ago
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Something something… through Viktor’s actions we see his possible linear mental checklist of his goals in life, and those goals included eventually confessing his feelings to Jayce, but before he did he felt he needed to do other things first. Namely:
1) Make Hextech a reality - Check. Viktor and Jayce actually achieved this one by 1.04. They could continue to refine forever but you can tell they both felt a sense of accomplishment in this.
2) Give Hextech to the people - Incomplete. At the end of S1 they had the refined Hextech crystals but the full benefits of their work had not reached the masses. Nor would it/should it ever.
3) Help the Undercity - incomplete, arguably completely unaddressed or even undermined by their work. The Hexgates drew Piltover’s attention away from the Undercity, which is why it languished while Piltover looked to distant markets. Hextech materially made life worse for the Undercity, as the alternate timeline showed us.
4) Hextech innovations lead to a cure for Viktor’s disease and disability - Successful but in the most horrifying way possible, including a body count.
5) Profit - Confess his feelings to Jayce.
(Don’t get too hung up on the order here because obviously a lot of these things could happen concurrently and I don’t think Viktor is stupid he would know that Hextech innovation could take a lifetime and probably wouldn’t wait to confess to Jayce just for that endlessly moving finish line.)
BUT, joking aide, I truly DO think that Viktor is kind and empathetic at his core and he really didn’t plan to confess his feelings to Jayce until he found a cure for his disease, which would require a lot of Hextech innovation to have any hope of reaching. Literally it would take a miracle.
I think Viktor’s belief in his own inadequacy could have festered in the painful doldrums of his own rapidly advancing illness after the initial glow of making the Hexgates happen.
Any hope of finding a cure was always remote, but as his illness advanced, this is when he may have even begun to push Jayce away, knowing the inevitable was coming. He certainly wouldn’t confess feelings to someone he loved with his days so numbered.
And that’s where I think a thread of actual resentment towards Mel might have crept in. To be fair, I don’t think Viktor hated her as a person, as such, nor was he a swooning teenager wracked by petty jealousy. But I think it must have stung to have his days so numbered and have this woman who represented everything he couldn’t offer to Jayce: health, wealth, beauty, position, prestige, etc distracting his attention away during what might be Viktor’s final days.
The thing is, I think rationally Viktor didn’t say anything because again, his days were numbered and Jayce and Mel were happy and well suited and beautiful and perfect together. He had nothing to offer. And it would be cruel to drag Jayce back just so Jayce would have to mourn him even more. Then as a result, Viktor was even more consumed by trying to save his own life by a miracle, though he now had to do it more alone than he ever predicted he would have to.
But there’s that horrible catch 22. He can’t tell Jayce how he feels because he might fail and die anyway and that would be cruel to someone he loves. But if he doesn’t tell Jayce, Jayce won’t come back to his side to help him out with the research needed to maybe save it.
Then Sky dies to the Hexcore and Viktor realizes just how much he’d lost of the parts of himself he liked, the parts that cared about helping others as PART of the cure for himself, and truly just gave up on any of it. He made his peace, decided to support Jayce during the emancipation of Zaun as a sort of ambassador, and resigned himself to the fact this would be the end for him.
Well, we know what happened next. Jayce saved his life, against Viktor’s wishes, using Viktor’s now-hates innovation.
Ok so now for the part that I was trying to get to:
A newly healed Viktor now has to reevaluate his life’s work checklist. It’s a much shorter list now.
1) Save his own life - check.
2) Figure out a way to make the world a better place - check.
3) Confess to Jayce now that you’re proud of who you are both inside and outside. You are finally worthy of him. You will finally live long enough that confessing isn’t an act of cruelty. You finally have achievements that make you worthy to proposition the creator of Hextech and the man you love, who is as far as you know, currently dating the physical embodiment of perfection.
And that explains Viktor’s catwalk into the Council Chamber in 2.08. He’s decked out in Mel’s colors. He’s ready to compete. He’s perfect now. He’s found a way to save humanity from itself. He is now worthy of Jayce and in a place where he can actually offer a lifetime together.
And Jayce rejects him.
This stuns Viktor. Actually, it fully knocks him into a villain arc, because Jayce has never refused him anything before. And Viktor can’t comprehend why his checklist didn’t work. Why did becoming perfect not work?
Because Jayce didn’t need the checklist. He’d already broken up with Mel. He didn’t need Viktor to be healed or to have already saved the world or to be anything else but Jayce’s partner. Jayce would have been happier if Viktor proposed at Step 0, but Viktor thought that would be a cruelty if he didn’t have a cure yet.
But I truly think Jayce would have preferred even just a day as Viktor’s official partner if that was all they got over a decade of being held at arm’s length until “everything was perfect”.
And that’s what Viktor doesn’t understand.
And that’s what Jayce had to show him in that final act of love.
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kittymizuki · 2 days ago
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there's so much around lion that's so wildly compelling about sisterhood, family, and identity, etc. but one of the things that make me crazy is the idea of lion as a fictional construct made by readers who want to see sayo with love, but also being unable to wholly decide what would most make sayo happy bc so many parts of herself are rooted in pain. lion is literally someone who exists to show sayo that she deserved better, deserved comfort, love, everything else - that it wasn't her fault, and that even in this "perfect" world, terrible things happen. the parents are still greedy and cruel. kinzo is still a terrible person. ep7 in this context truly feels like it's written by ppl on the outside of the story who actually chose to engage and understand, and a love letter to real life readers who did so.
a big thing i consider with lion is not having to have the 'pressure' of needing to specify and that creating a 'better' dynamic in the family, but they also still have to use the name given to them by kinzo. further considering that there's a major point of the care and love will shows for lion that is blatantly intended to transcend any idea of 'gender' or 'cisheteronormativity' makes it obvious to me! lion is essentially "this is a version of sayo who never had to 'choose' which is both a good and a bad thing, as within that context, this is a 'nuclear family' kind of set-up. by being denied the option/potential of fully exploring gender identity, they take on the role of the 'ideal child', which itself is rather tragic."
i think it's also meaningful to consider that lion is still androgynous and disconnected from the idea of 'masculine gender' without any of their 'tragedy' having happened. when given the option, they choose to live outside of 'maleness', outside of that specific idea, wanting to live without the struggle of having to specify or be assumed bc of how crushing and stressful that could be.
i really feel like it's relevant to consider that they were lying to sayo when they said it was only due to the 'incident' that she experienced that they had to perform the gender reassignment surgery? to me it would make a lot more sense that the reality of this intersex child would be easier to hide! if she was already intersex, then it's genuinely easy to consider. i think, broadly, lion was given to natsuhi as a 'baby boy' before everything happened. since she tried to kill the baby so young, it's so simple to see how these realities could have been ignored, but even then, what if natsuhi did realize this child was 'improper' or had a 'broken body'? what if, for so many things.
the idea of maleness and malehood is strangling to sayo. yes, she wants to 'fit in', but she also always truly wanted to see herself as a girl. she envisioned so many versions of herself that were the 'women' she wanted to be or wanted to grow up to be. she was never a 'proper' girl, even when she was a tiny child. she was always bad at cleaning, bad at cooking, bad at succeeding, too small, too 'stupid' according to all the girls around her. kanon exists as her dysphoria - dysphoria that in ep6 is 'killed' for the sake of saving loved ones. letting go of the mask of kanon bc her self-loathinh isn't who she wishes to be. i think further, it's important to think about how kanon exists bc sayo feels she has no 'right' to her own dysphoria unless she makes herself a 'male' alter ego to shove that into, to have some slight justification for how broken her body makes her feel. lion truly feels like an intersex child negotiating acceptable gender presentation bc being a boy is too painful and they can't assert their identity as a girl, so they opt for this middle ground that feels like a compromise between the two.
sayo has always 'been' a girl and 'seen herself' as a girl! but she is now portrayed as a failure of a girl bc of her 'broken' body and i think the intersex and trans girl readings can be interwoven into one very strong narrative. her being trans is amplified with the idea of her having intersex subtext bc she was raised thinking it could be possible, maybe, for her to live as a girl, before realizing she can only be a girl in this bird cage. now that she's a teenager, it's obvious that she's not a proper girl. if she leaves rokkenjima, the spell of her womanhood is broken and she'll have nothing. what matters is the present in which she exists and that her body 'fails' to meet the ideals of womanhood. this is vital in the context of natsuhi as well - natsuhi isn't a trans woman, but we can also see this sense of how womanhood and being degendered for her failures within that are important to her narrative and also sayo's! and in this context, sayo has always been 'out' and 'accepted', so her issue is less 'i'll never be a girl'. rather, her struggle is about how she's being taught that to be a girl is suffering and that she's doomed to tragedy for wanting. constantly realizing and thinking about all the things about the girls that people want and think of them, and realizing there was something about her body that denied her what she wanted.
i think it's a vital reality that intersex people are inherently connected with trans women, as the issue (at the end of the day) is having a body that 'fails' to meet the expectations of cissexist and bioessentialist dynamics so i love to think about this...
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aventurineswife · 3 days ago
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Hello!! I saw your requests were open and was wondering if I could requests how the brothers would react to and treat an MC with chronic illnesses that cause them to need mobility aids like a cane, rollator and wheelchair to get around depending on how they feel (I mostly have to use a rollator and it's a pretty pink) but it also causes them to have dizzy spells really easily so they may have to randomly sit while out and about, leaves them with very little energy most days but they push through cause that's life but there's some days where the chronic fatigue and chronic pain keeps them bed ridden (and thus unable to attend RAD). I've been struggling for a year myself and I just really am turning to my boys for comfort. Even if you can't get to this or don't feel you can write for this I really appreciate just reading it! I'm excited to read more from you truly! Hope you have a good day!
“Rest Easy, Love, We've Got You��
Tags: Obey Me Brothers x Reader [Lucifer. x Reader, Mammon x Reader, Leviathan x Reader, Satan x Reader, Asmodeus x Reader, Beelzebub x Reader, Belphegor x Reader], Chronic Illness Representation, Disability Awareness, Mobility Aids, Fluff & Comfort, Slice of Life, Caregiving Dynamics, Emotional Support, Empathy.
Warnings: Contains themes of chronic illness, fatigue, and pain, Depictions of caring/supportive relationships, Mentions of mobility aids, Focus on emotional comfort and well-being.
A/N: First of all, thank you so much for your request! I really hope this piece brings you some comfort and makes you feel supported. I know that living with chronic illness can be really tough, but please remember that you’re strong, and you deserve all the care, love, and support in the world. I’m sending you so much warmth, and I truly hope you get well soon and take care of yourself! 🫂💖✨ Thank you again for sharing your request, and I’m wishing you nothing but health and happiness! 💖
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Lucifer was never one to show his emotions easily, but seeing you struggle with something so beyond your control weighed heavily on him. His stoic demeanor often concealed the concern that lurked beneath.
When he first noticed you using a rollator, he didn't flinch. But the moment he saw the one you picked out, he couldn’t help but offer a small smile—a rare sight for the others, as if approving your choice.
"Let me know if you need assistance, MC." he'd offer, his voice calm and gentle. "You shouldn't feel the need to push yourself too hard." His eyes softened when you mentioned feeling dizzy or fatigued, a far cry from his usual commanding tone. He'd always make sure to walk beside you when you were out, offering his arm for support or using his influence to make sure no one bumped into you.
If you had to miss RAD for the day, he'd send you a tray of your favorite food, made with care. He'd also stop by with paperwork, though the way he would look at you was soft with understanding, as if telling you that his pride in you never wavered, even if you couldn't be there today.
"I don’t mind handling things here. Rest as you need."
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Mammon, while initially unsure how to react to your condition, soon became your most fervent protector. He had a big heart, even if it was wrapped up in layers of greed and bravado. When you first mentioned you had a mobility aid, he was quick to say, "Oi, if anyone tries to mess with ya, you tell 'em I’ll handle it!"
He wasn’t always the most graceful about it, but his intentions were always pure. If he saw you sitting down because you were too dizzy, he'd immediately rush to your side, wrapping an arm around you to steady you.
"Ya don’t need to push yerself, ya know? Ye’re gonna hurt yourself!" he’d say, not fully understanding what it meant to push through chronic pain, but he’d do everything in his power to help.
He would try to pamper you on days you had to stay in bed, coming in with snacks, blankets, and random trinkets that he thought might cheer you up. "Ya deserve all the best stuff, so don’t feel bad about it!" he’d grumble, sitting by your side, even if he wasn’t the most delicate at times.
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Leviathan was the type to do a lot of thinking and worrying in silence, so it took him some time to come to terms with how to best support you. His first instinct was to ask you if you needed help, but his anxiety often made him second-guess himself. He was nervous about saying the wrong thing, so he focused on actions rather than words.
One day, you were struggling to get from one place to another, and before you could even say a word, Levi appeared with your rollator, offering it to you with a shy but earnest smile. "I-I saw you needed this... I thought maybe this would make it easier...?" he’d say, voice awkward but full of sincerity. "Y-you don’t need to go anywhere by yourself! I can help... I can even carry your stuff if you want!"
His heart would ache every time you mentioned a day when the fatigue hit you hardest, and when you stayed in bed, he’d be there with games, movies, and all the comfort items he could think of. He'd worry about you endlessly, but it came from a place of deep care.
"Please, MC, take it easy... You don't have to do everything." he’d say, hoping you knew you could rely on him for anything you needed.
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Satan was one of the few who could immediately grasp the depth of what you were going through. With his intelligence and empathy, he had no trouble understanding chronic pain and illness, as he had dealt with his own inner turmoil for years. When you talked about your mobility aids and dizziness, he listened intently and asked all the right questions to understand how he could be of help.
"Your well-being comes first." he’d remind you, offering his support without hesitation. If you were feeling fatigued, he wouldn’t insist on anything. Instead, he’d suggest the most calming ways to spend the day together, whether it was reading or simply relaxing by your side.
If you had to miss RAD, he'd make sure to bring something comforting—be it a book, tea, or a quiet space to rest. He was always gentle in his approach, never pushing you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.
"I don’t mind handling things in your stead. Take care of yourself, MC." he’d say softly, his gaze full of respect.
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Asmodeus was quick to fall into a protective role when it came to you. He absolutely adored your pink rollator, often calling it "fabulously cute" and making sure it was always in the best condition. He had a tendency to fuss over you, but it came from a place of deep love and care.
"Sweetie, you must be more careful! I can’t have you looking so tired all the time, can I?" He would go overboard on pampering you with lavish gifts, massages, and all the luxury his power could provide. His eyes would soften every time you told him how much energy it took just to get through the day, and his heart would ache for you on the days you were bedridden.
"You deserve nothing but the best, darling." he'd say, fluffing your pillows and pampering you with as much comfort as possible. He’d always remind you that he was there to help with anything—whether you needed someone to talk to, someone to hang out with, or just someone to make you smile.
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Beelzebub’s approach was simple: he just wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible. He was incredibly perceptive when it came to your needs, and if he noticed you were struggling, he'd make sure to do whatever it took to help. He was quiet, but there was a deep tenderness to his actions.
If you needed to sit down because of dizziness, Beel would sit beside you without a word, making sure you had a safe space. He'd always keep an eye on your health, ensuring you had everything you needed, whether it was food, comfort, or just some time to rest.
He was also the type to sneak in with snacks or meals when you were bedridden, always making sure you were well-fed and comfortable. If you couldn’t attend RAD, he wouldn’t push you, simply reassuring you that he’d handle things and give you all the space you needed.
"Don’t worry about anything. Just rest." he’d say quietly, always the gentle giant, putting your needs above his own.
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Belphegor, ever the laid-back one, wasn’t always the first to jump into action, but he was incredibly in tune with your emotions. He knew what it was like to struggle with energy, and while he’d never outwardly admit it, he had a quiet, empathetic understanding of your chronic fatigue.
On days when you couldn’t get out of bed, he’d quietly slip in, laying beside you, offering his warmth and presence as a comfort. If you needed a cane or rollator, he’d be there to grab it without question, lazily moving about the house to ensure you weren’t uncomfortable.
"Don’t worry. Take a nap," he’d whisper with a sleepy grin. "I’ll make sure the others don’t bother you."
Belphegor might not have been as vocal about his concern as some of the others, but his gentle actions showed his love and dedication. He’d take care of everything else while you rested, making sure you had one less thing to worry about.
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Hii! I saw your fanfic on Shadow of Wrath with Beast Y/N Cookie! I absolutely loved it! You don't have to do this, but maybe you could do a part 2? You don't need to do it! 🩵����
God- I need to stop letting my sister borrow my laptop- one shadow of wrath continuation coming up, dear butterfly!
previous part
Shadow of wrath part 2 (Beast Y/N cookie)
Simple to say things have changed drastically since Y/N cookie finally snapped. The fight between them and the beasts was short and easy for them, as though they were fighting mere children. But they weren't gonna crumble now, oh no no no. What good would it do if the beasts just get off the hook with a mere death? That wouldn't do you any justice, especially considering they're the ones who ruined your life from the start. So you'll make sure to keep them, alive but not unharmed. Your kingdom was already being repaired in any case, and having seen your new form the cookies were now scared of you. Good. Then maybe they'll be able to do the job right.
You kept the beasts down in a dungeon and weakened their powers by a large amount. In fact it'd be a miracle if they still had any powers left at all, considering you took their soul jams. Not like they'd need it in any case. They'd never leave. Never taste freedom again. Never be able to inflict more pain onto you. Nobody would. Not anymore. They will never hurt you again. And you'd make sure of it. It didn't stop at just imprisoning them, that would be far too easy. A little torment here and there would be delightful. Mental torture was implemented depending on how you felt. It was only fair since you had mental scars from what they put you through.
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Shadow Milk cookie was a bit bitter about it all. How did five of them lose to one of YOU?! It was bringing back the whole "getting sealed away" thing. And to think you had the nerve to make fun of him. How audacious. He could easily make you a puppet and crumble you if he wasn't chained to the wall and had his soul jam. Why do you have to be such a diva? Can't you take a simple joke? Hmph, well clearly whatever the joke was hadn't been funny enough to let you spare him. Every moment you were together was filled with mock care, only to switch up the next moment and become someone so cruel even he was worried. He didn't let it break his spirit though. He still believed that he'd get out one day.
"And when that day comes, you'll be nothing more than a little toy caught in the web of deceit."
"Funny you feel that way. Perhaps you truly are so deceitful that you go as far as to lie to yourself."
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Mystic flour cookie did try to remain indifferent to you, but you knew more about her than she even realized. You feed into her fears, reminding her of her failure to fix everything. And despite how she's insistent that what happens will make no difference, you know what makes her tick. You go on and on about how her quest to return all to flour was just as stupid as she was, how in the end she inflicted the one thing she was trying to get rid of. Pain. You go into how her solution to the cookies pain was nothing more than a lazy excuse to get out of wish granting. Whilst she still shows no reaction, you can se it in her eyes. She's not as apathetic as she says she is.
"It is futile to believe I'll break to mere taunting, Y/N cookie. In the end we will be return to flour, so why even bother. The suffering will end eventually."
"You truly think that changes anything? How blind are you? Your 'apathy' is nothing more than a pathetic hoax to hide your fear. And I plan to exploit that."
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Burning spice cookie was BEYOND infuriated with you. How AUDACIOUS are you to be ripping out his soul jam from his chest, then having EVEN MORE NERVE to taunt him about it?! He'll destroy you! He's faced countless powerful cookies in the past. You're no different! Just fight him! It'd be a good form of entertainment! Silly spice. He's truly not worth the energy. It's more torture when you're just standing there, playing with his soul jam so carelessly, and pretending to drop it. How dare you tease him like that. How dare you be so gentle with him. Where's that beastly fighting spirit you had when you defeated him?! Why were you being so insufferably gentle?! That's just it. That's just what makes him tick. You didn't even have to say anything.
"What is the meaning of this weakness?! Why are you so disgustingly tame?! WHERE'S YOUR INNER BEAST?!?!"
"Hm. I won't give you the pleasure of knowing, mere spice. You're a lot more enduring when you can't cause destruction."
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Eternal Sugar cookie was broken pretty quick. Why were you so mean to her?! Why so rough and harsh? Were you really choosing mere cookies over her?! How could you. Why were you feeding into her insecurities so much? Why were you so cruel to her? What happened to that sparkle in your eyes that made her ecstatic? Why did it dull away? Simple. Because you learned to grow up and stop acting like some naive child. Sure, she was pretty, but that's to mask how utterly useless she truly was. Nobody loved her. Nobody could. She was nothing more than a foolish idiot who didn't deserve the right of being beside you.
"You don't mean that. You don't mean any of that!"
"Oh you sweet little fool. The only thing that means nothing is the useless sloth I stand before right now."
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Silent salt cookie was resilient, you'll give him that. Never showing any signs of emotion with you, neither verbal nor physical. Nevertheless, you would find a way to get to him. His silent was his weapon, but who's to say you can't exploit that? Besides, what can he do? Say nothing, do nothing, he's nothing.
"..."
"Silent, yet again. Though I'm starting to wonder... Is it because you won't talk... or because you can't."
With the reconstruction of your kingdom and the beasts under your control, you could relax, if only momentarily. Knowing this place, word was gonna reach the other ancients eventually. And when it does, you ought to know how you'll deal with them.
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loversgothic · 1 year ago
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waah. so sorry i havent finished the wips ive posted but i made this reference/design for a roleplay
masquerade outfit for V1
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apocalypticdemon · 5 months ago
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so i'm finally reading through the terror scripts and i think this was designed to cause me physical pain.
crozier was supposed to be drinking to schubert..... god
#it's honest to god so interesting to see what was cut and what was rearranged#but the uh. the descriptions of the emotions that were not to be spoken?#the internal thought processes that can't be precisely conveyed without words?#i am Dying. this is Killing Me.#fucking *schubert*. god.#'it is not romantic or charismatic. it is hard to watch.' SEND HELP#the terror#i wish i had more coherent thoughts but like. jesus christ.#schubert also had some truly wretched parts of his life.#he wasn't able to marry women of higher classes than him. this was bc of a law that prohibited it but he was still restrained by his financ#*finances#a thing that sophia specifically points out to crozier in the show#aside from that there isn't much that i know off the top of my head#but his 'winterreise' is truly depressing. and 'die schone mullerin' isn't much better#actually die schone mullerin might be very apt for this.#the narrative follows a man falling in love with a woman that is beyond his grasp. and eventually ends in him fantasizing about his death.#uh. presumably the singer drowns in a brook at the end.#so! yeah! that one line in the script is making me lose my mind.#i am gonna keep reading them but i also think i will be a very sad puddle by the end of it#forgive the tag rambling. schubert isn't a main focus of mine#but i know a bit about him and a good bit about his music. it's. painful. also schubert died very young. like 31 years old young.#but anyway i guess i will find the damndest of parallels everywhere.
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valvesoftware · 6 months ago
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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eternal-reverie · 8 months ago
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Something in the back of my mind has been bothering me for a long while, and I figured out what it was. I have this tendency of censoring myself when I speak? I dance around a subject, which I keep hinting at, but never explicitly say what I want to say, and when someone doesn’t pick up on that, I get disappointed when they don’t help me open up to the topic.
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coolspacequips · 13 days ago
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I gotta give black sails it's flowers for having multiple bisexual poly relationships, mmf AND ffm at that lol
The first was such a delightful and unexpected twist that really puts a new light onto the entire thesis of the show, and then the second was literally one of my fav dynamics in the entire series, they were my favs and all got together??? Usually this only happens in indulgent fic, but not this time!!
(also something high-key funny (in a sad way) that it kinda starts as 'I'm so co-dependant I need you to hold my hand while I hook up with someone else that I was dubiously cheating on u with 🥺' and then they became a power throuple)
#i liked that there were multiple sapphic relationships but low-key wish there was more than one mlm relationship...#specifically just bc by the nature of the show it has a lot of sort of meditations on masculinity that i think would have been served by#having an active achillean relationship in the current narrative and also it's pirates come on#i guess it's fine that Jack was only REALLY in love w one woman and kind of had this complex relationship w another woman in the mix#I've said before i really like this shows take on him and Anne bonney I'm a pirate fan from way back#and Anne Bonney is an early obsession while i didn't ever give a fuck about calico Jack before specifically this version of him#but i get a strong genderqueer 4 genderqueer vibe from both of them and truly think they're bi4bi#bc you can't tell me that Jack wasn't in love w Charles Vane (and imo Charles knew and cared for him in a way but was tragically straight)#anyway this is for no one i gotta stop bc i don't even want to get started rambling and trying to organize my myriad thoughts about them lol#my original point was that i think it would have been interesting to explore more queerness in the show but what we got was compelling#and sometimes i think they had to reel in certain types of fan and making their cool manly lead bi was honestly brave#but then they have to send Charles on some toxic masculinity side quest every season to lean into the power fantasy of ruthless piracy#which i think they also had some interesting points about him unlearning some things but ugh i digress I'll start rambling bye#text posts
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unproduciblesmackdown · 23 days ago
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among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically
& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.
obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?
anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"
#another random night another Verbal Effusion of [forehead to hand]#winston billions#who needs actual questions about power or the consequences of getting to consider others Lessers & acting accordingly#when we can last minute be like uh wendy is god actually. take it away wendy (wait she just does whole other shit half the season)#okay Now take it away wendy i guess b/c the series is dead set on you being the Moral Center#if mostly b/c gosh everyone either loves owning you as pseudo wife or correctly recognizes & defers to your superiority#the scene i couldn't bear to sit through at the start of s7 way too long sequence of wendy Going To Work to the ''cuz im awesome'' song#i was like. lol. i was like okay that is wendy's mood / perspective then. Wrong. it was billions conveying Fact to the audience. rip#abt as great setup for ''the only other shoe that finally dropped was that of Yeah It's This Completely Surface Level'' as possible (:#prince has exactly the same attitudes & actions as wendy does? uh well you see. it's just bad when he does it#if only more wendys were in charge. if only we go ''well even if it's bad if wendy does it? or axe or whoever? Could Be Worse''#nothing to analyze in the [but at least it's not worse] dead end re: justification of Power Leveraging & minimization of its consequences#tl;dr just the victim blaming embraced everywhere & the idea that everything that Deviates from the Norm Too Ethically Mindedly#is just that veneer slapped on overtop of [haha but truly: the norm] like no but seriously we all know It's Not That Deep(tm)#even for the characters written to exercise this [my Extra Mile Ethics] trait regularly it's expressed as this Polite Addendum#to the [what's Really at play] normal. the And Enbies tacked on; that's that on that & it Is an extra veneer to the norm#prince asking if taylor's changing up their pronouns; no more Meant a red flag than him immediately shitting on winston i'm sure#yet yknow why tf suppose taylor more than anyone else would Change Pronouns. taylor who the series also only ever shows as being#misgendered As A Woman. whose drag / cisguise As A Woman is not treated in the same way a man's would be / is#whose emotive / expressive affect isn't either. billions like [the genders are m/f] to [perhaps also amab/afab] Tacked On#as something politely Extra you do to their face that doesn't actually change (threaten) your idea of what's just Normal & True#like it's normal & true that ugh god don't you hate the autistic people around you? don't you wish you could go sicko mode on them#so that they couldn't be around you anymore & they'd have brought it upon themself & really it was good of you b/c The Group Cohesion#thanks you & b/c you just gave them free ABA? yes yep Surely Unquestionably#problem isn't abuse & concomitant violation in & of itself. it's Bad to be someone that's done to. we will announce Exceptions#rest of you either you brought it upon yourself or you failed to Correct that you're not someone who inherently deserves it#that is: someone who just can & will Stop It if done to them. well so you see winston pushing back is ignored or treated to further#backlash & then he withdraws (expression of his experience / creation of a consequence which tells the other Stop Doing This)#&/or otherwise conveys displeasure / being hurt (same as before. ''uh well push back / express xyz'' ppl did & were steamrolled/ignored)
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boygirlctommy · 1 month ago
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ive decided that andoras almost always has crazy makeup and wigs on simply bcus its fun for him. and everin doesnt see him without any of it on until after the birthday party debacle and loses it slightly bcus she thought that was his real hair the whole time wdym youre BALD (hes not bald his hair is just short)
#my post#the wondrous oc tag#madineau#the lore is stored in the tags#world so beautiful. i love making shit up about my ocs#did this partly bcus i wanna include more ridiculous hairstyles in this bcus i realized that i can#and this is perfect for andoras bcus he literally doenst do anything all day anyways. so he just gets up spends half the day gettnig ready#and then spends the rest of it hanging around ev and bothering her#theres a bit of bright colors and markings like aposematism. like watch out hes toxic do not approach#like ev gives a shit though#ANDDDD ive managed to incorporate MOON SYMBOLISM. bcus god what is this story if not just the moon a thousand times over for no reason#(the reason is it was like 2 am i was delirious on sharpie fumes and got really emotional about the moon out of nowhere)#so like when hes first introduced his makeup includes a new moon. new beginnings and all that#during the birthday party hes got a 1st quarter moon. for intention. bcus thats when ev and an get a little normal about each other#and an specifically realizes oh hey. i actually liek this person. and i think she likes me too. i dont want this to ever stop.#smilesss he realizes this while theyre dancing. and ev is laughing and relaxed and SMILING for once and an wishes he could watch that smile#forever...#dreamy sigh. ive had that scene living in my head for years now#i think i came up with that after reading knifetrick. bcus i loved the party scene soooooo much <33#where was i. right moon makeup.#so in the very very very end andoras has a full moon#sealing of intention slash continuing the cycle. because its implied hes gonna overthrow the government and kill the current leaders#thats a big jump from where we just were. bear with me here a lot happens in this story#like the birthday party and that tender moment. is interrupted by the rev squad showing up and trying to convince a crowd of people to#murder ev#which more or less works pretty easily btw. they all just go 'ok bet' as if they werent attending HER party.#its fine its whatever its ok. ev doesnt think theres anyone she can truly trust but she does so anyways and just prays they dont turn on he#bcus the only people she has left in the world are her 2 advisors who hate her and her best friend who also maybe hates her
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iniziare · 6 months ago
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Tag drop: Guizhong (don't mind me re-dropping this with the fixed ones, shh)
#guizhong. [ many things only seem to surface beneath the moon's poignant glow. wherever its light shines; the heart is wont to follow. ]#guizhong: ic. [ wherever her spirit may be among the countless grains of sand and specks of dust between the harbor and the mountains. ]#guizhong: countenance. [ and because they are afraid; they try so hard to become more intelligent. this i understand. ]#guizhong: introspection. [ although she did not live to see the splendid sights of today: she was as much a hero as any other. ]#guizhong: meta. [ her manuscripts lie unfinished in her abode. the blank pages give cause for contemplation on what might have been. ]#guizhong: little notes. [ she always sought to make everyone happy and one must say: she had quite the gift for it. ]#guizhong: wishes. [ it took a treasure hunt just to preserve the commandments that were once the lifeblood of a whole civilization. ]#guizhong: etc. [ we think of human life as like a lantern that's lit one minute and extinguished the next. but are we adepti so different?#guizhong: mortals. [ at their full potential; they could be her equal. a human who has as much to teach an adeptus as to learn from them. ]#guizhong: guili plains. [ as guizhong once said: “it takes every blade of grass and every flower to make a homeland.” ]#guizhong: liyue. [ perhaps she will look at the liyue of today and steal a smile when she sees the prosperous land that it has become. ]#guizhong: realm of clouds. [ a voyage to a sanguine sky. ]#guizhong: mechanical arts. [ in one's heart; i knew that she was indeed the superior talent in the mechanical arts. ]#guizhong: glaze lilies. [ they were far more abundant back then. the entire fields would appear to the eye as a veritable sea of flowers. ]#guizhong: adepti. [ until the moon set and the sun rose. and only then would the banquet finally come to an end. ]#guizhong: morax. [ whoever it was that revered her so much was very clever indeed. ]#guizhong: guili. [ with shortness of breath; i will explain the infinite. and how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist. ] delusiona#guizhong: marchosius. [ who would dare snub the stove god and his wondrous creations? at the sight: we would all drop any argument. ]#guizhong: streetward rambler. [ it almost felt like she was back again. sitting right there on the stone stool next to me; chatting away. ]#guizhong: cloud retainer. [ we each had our ideals; and neither one of us would yield to the other. ]#guizhong: skybracer. [ to who lived by the mountain; he was their savior. they thought higher of him than they thought of the lord of geo.#guizhong: osial. [ she would disrupt the silence around them with a hum; as if to sing along to the harmony of water. was this his song? ]#guizhong: sea gazer. [ he was quite the braggart when it came to those collectibles he was so fond of; he always loved to show them off. ]#guizhong: ganyu. [ if we planted flowers in the guili plains; do you think that one day we'd be able to recreate the sea of glaze lilies? ]#guizhong: v. descension. [ she descended whose dominion was over dust; and whose reach shrouded the skies for thousands of miles around. ]#guizhong: v. guili assembly. [ it's great to have it back but i want to go back to the world. and start with guili plains. ]#guizhong: v. archon war. [ they fought upon the plains; where black dust choked the heavens and a thousand rocks splintered. ]#guizhong: v. present. [ all wrapped up in a city that has existed for many moons to date. all these things: they are why people chase it. ]#guizhong: inquiries. [ hmph. she always had a way with words. ]
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lesbianlenas · 1 year ago
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as i’m watching this i’m like why do i want triss to be a lesbian in the show when i romanced her as geralt when i played witcher 3 & now i’m realizing it’s bc i want to date her & that’s why i was ok w her being heterosexual w geralt in witcher 3 bc i was geralt 😭 now that i can’t romance her as him i’m like ok what if she kissed a woman 😳 lmfao….
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whiskeyswifty · 2 years ago
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#i still think it's absolutely insane of her#after we all survived 3 hours in rain at the gillette show#to give us not only 2 of the biggest DUD surprise songs ever#and for me personally 2 of my BOTTOM TIER SONGS OF ALL TIME like i won in ever other regard but surprise song total strike out#BUT THEN TO SAY THAT FUCK SHIT LIKE#laughing with my friends and gf about this and just like.........#unreal like i couldn't believe after all that she gave us ASS FUCK ALL for sticking it out with her#and if taylor swift not giving me anywhere decent surprise songs at my show is the worst of my problems in my life#then i'm doing excellent i'm doing just fine its just SO FUNNY and SO DEVASTATING#i have like 10 other way more important and incredible life changing things i'm doing this year so i tried twice for metlife and gave up#like you know getting MARRIED and going to RENAISSANCE with amazing seats and going on a 2 week trip to Italy with my fam#BUT i'm never skipping a metlife show again thats the lesson#and we're only on night one. i can't imagine the rest of this weekend#one of my best friends and fellow maroon stan screen recorded our texts last night while trying to screen record the live#we should get an oscar for that drama. i wish i could share it with you people but i will not be perceived.#we were CRYING watching it back like holy shit#what a night and i was a little drunk lmaooooo#her friend had the funniest text of the night tho when she said in the middle of our breakdown#Metlife N1 marked SAFE from wtny!!!#aDKFJADKFJAKDLFJADSF LIKE TRULY#the way n1 was so certain they'd get it that n2 and 3 weren't even worried#and now n2 and 3 are going into their shows TERRIFIED
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radio-4-is-static · 5 months ago
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Who Were We? | Yojiro Noda
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