#truly the dialogue in episode 5 is still just. chewing on it. chewing on it. chewing on it.

[isa-ah]

We both were chosen by this destiny…

Why did it have to be us?

[stunudo]

Infiltrated: Part 9

A FBI Agent reader thrusts herself in the middle of the Reaper investigation, leaving the BAU questioning if they need her. Foyet unleashes another layer to his manipulation of Aaron Hotchner and his team. Is this consulting agent trustworthy? Something about her tells Hotch that this case is just as important to her as it is him. Can she work both sides of the law to meet her means? A salacious series of smut and betrayal…. Spotify playlist 

Setting: Season 5

Series

A/N: If you haven’t seen episode 100, you’re not going to understand the leaps in this chapter. Go watch it, bring tissues. I didn’t want to do an entire episode rewrite as it is phenomenal and shouldn’t be touched. But I added some dialogue to continue the suspense of our reader’s fate. xoxo Stu

Warnings: Blood, violence, moral repugnancy, and general unsub behavior. Major Character Deaths. This is the definition of angst.

Aaron Hotchner had stepped down as acting Unit Chief after he felt pressured from his superiors to do so. As he looked Derek Morgan in the eye and admitted that he had been sleeping with a woman who had an unhealthy connection and possible vendetta against George Foyet, he finally saw that his judgement had been compromised. He was not fit to lead his team like this.

“What about Y/N?” Hotch asked Morgan after he went over everything that Garcia had compiled.

“Withholding evidence, impeding an investigation and accomplice to murder, for starters,” He replied, waiting for Hotch’s rebuttal. A lawyer always has to have the last word.

“You’re going to arrest her? She’s the best link to Foyet we’ve got!” Hotch was on the edge, his brain trying to keep up with the taste of copper in his mouth, he had been chewing the inside of his cheek as he had read the chat logs and looked over some grainy surveillance stills.

“Okay,” Morgan’s voice was calm, yet challenging. “How about we try it your way? Huh? Wine and dine her into handing over the unsub?”

“Morgan, that’s not what this is about.” Hotch started. “We need to set up a trace on her, she’ll draw him out without even realizing she’s helping us.”

“I think we both know that she’s better than that,” Morgan gave Hotch an indifferent head shake. Just then JJ rushed into Morgan’s office with a look of revelation on her face.

“What if Foyet was supplementing with over-the-counter meds?”

*

The thrill of it all, that’s what he was going to miss. Not the mindless hours of stalking his prey from afar, but the moments when sheer ingenuity paid off. Haley Hotchner fell for his distressed Marshal routine like a drunk prom date. Soon he would be rubbing Hotchner’s face in the mess that his self-righteousness had made. George had a few stops before he would be bringing the little family together again.

He couldn’t wait to see the look on Hotchner’s face when he showed up.

You hadn’t gone home since the night with Aaron, deciding to go for a run before reassessing how you could track down Kassmeyer and eventually Haley and Jack. Your burner rang in the glove compartment before you were out of the parking spot near the park fountain.

“I thought we were done with this game.” Your tone impetuous.

“I thought you should know your little buddies at the BAU caught my scent. Might want to watch your back.”

You swallowed, hard. The sweat from your run freezing down your neck and locking onto your spine. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Always so hostile the morning after? I guess Hotchner doesn’t know how to give you the release I can.” You shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still triggered your defenses.

“What are you going to do?” You changed the subject, not wanting to think about last night and what it meant now that the BAU were on George’s tail.

“Is that concern Agent Turner? You should probably look into keeping those emotions in check. We’re almost to the finish line.”

You felt it, the inevitability of trying and failing to control a force like the Reaper. He remained ahead of you, the FBI, the Boston PD and the US Marshals. You were truly frightened for the first time in a long time.

“Uh-oh, that’s my other phone. Sorry doll, but I think its your boyfriend on the line.” Without any formalities, the call went dead.

*

“After I finish you, I’m going to find that little bastard son of yours. And I’m going to show him both of his dead parents and I’m gonna tell him that all of this was all your fault.” George taunted and Hotch sprung back at him.

Each punch landing on the face of pure evil, each impact satisfying fuel to his grief and guilt. The rage of his father surged through him and he let go of his years of restraint.

“Oh, shit. You got me. I surrender,” George almost smiled up at him. Hotch was done listening. Each thing that this man had taken from him and others flashed through his mind as Hotch’s fist connected over and over to Foyet’s battered skull.

“Turner was right about you, Hotch. You’re no boy scout,” George groaned, that cocky smirk sneaking up as the life left his body. Before he even heard the sirens, Derek was pulling Hotch off of Foyet’s corpse. And he crumbled.

*

Hotch had never felt relief like this before. He found Jack, safe, in the cubby beside his desk in the home office.

“I worked the case just like you said,” his innocent voice was a choir of angels.

When Jack was firmly in JJ’s arms, Hotch lost his composure again. The gratitude and loss sending shock waves through his body. His feet took him back upstairs, finding Derek holding Haley’s lifeless hand. He drew her body to his chest and let it go.

“Get out of here, go see if they need help downstairs,” Derek’s deep voice spoke to someone behind him. Hotch’s sobs shook his entire being. Derek let him be, but all too soon, the scene needed to be cleared for processing.

*

“I don’t understand if Haley was killed in the front room and brought up to the bedroom, why is there so much blood in the pantry?” Emily asked quizzically to Rossi and Reid as they slowly walked out of the house.

Hotch hadn’t caught the details when he stormed inside, searching for his family and for Foyet. “How much blood?” His throat was raw.

“At least a quart,” Reid replied. Rossi froze and looked at Hotch, something inside them both told them Foyet wasn’t done yet.

Derek moved to the techs immediately, “I want this blood analyzed asap, we might have another victim out there.”

“Is there someplace he would take her?” Emily looked at Hotch concerned. “Would he have had time to kill her and move the body?”

“If he had killed Agent Turner while he waited for Haley to meet him, he would have.” Reid suggested.

“Wait, would she have known where he was taking Haley?” JJ asked.

In unison, Derek, Rossi and Hotch confirmed with a tense, “Yes.”

Emily and JJ shared a confused yet weighted look.

“We can’t be sure this is Y/N’s blood. Let’s send teams to search her place and mine. Derek, put out an APB and get a hold of Garcia to see if Y/N has somehow turned up to work today.” Hotch doled out instructions, over Derek’s authority.

*

Emily and Rossi led their team of agents up to the small apartment on the fourth floor. The old carpeting soft under their increasing footsteps.

“There’s no way he could have dragged her up here without someone seeing him.” Emily said in disbelief.

“Well, maybe we’ll get lucky and we’ll get to arrest her instead.” Rossi snipped, the weariness laced through his voice. With the key they got from the super, they entered the large living-dining-kitchen combination. Splattered over every reachable inch of the main wall were photographs, maps and charts. Rossi grimaced as his team members’ faces squinted into the distance of surveillance shots scattered before him.

“Holy-” Emily stepped back.

Rossi didn’t reply, he just dialed his phone. “Garcia- send a full evidence collection crew to Y/N’s place. We need to find her before she’s too far gone.”

“Gone? As in dead gone or off the grid gone?” Garcia squeaked over the speaker phone. Emily glanced over to Rossi, “I’ll get Reid over here.”

*

You had wiped the dingy studio where you had first been with Aaron. Trying to remain calm, you pulled into your regular apartment, where George had spent the most time with you. This would take a bit more effort to clean up, but you figured the BAU had their hands full today. You had missed the SUVs on the curb since you entered from the underground parking lot. But the peons in blue windbreakers sent you back down the stairwell in a single motion. You were out of time.

*

You were walking along the quaint downtown street in a daze, your arms lolling at your sides as you hopped over the cracks in the sidewalk. Your belly was full of cotton candy, the remnants sticking between your little fingers. You were six years old.

Jumping out of the truck you waved behind you, trying to sneak in past curfew through the side door in the kitchen. The ceiling fan light whirred to life as your mother’s unamused face met you from the breakfast table. You were fifteen.

Your dad barked at the ump, the Sox were down by two. You had saved up your babysitting money all summer to buy an official jersey to wear on the first day of senior year. You couldn’t believe you were almost an adult and out in the world on your own.

Running into the police department with your waitress uniform still on, your eyes burned with tears. You had heard that the FBI wasn’t able to find the bastard, but you weren’t going to let them quit, not yet. A younger agent asked you to calm down in a low tone, you balked at him. His dark eyes framed with impossible lashes which only made you more angry that he got to stand there looking pretty while you were a fuming mess.

George’s eyes lingered on you whenever Colson took notes. There was something hypnotic about them. You had learned to channel your anger into your studies, graduating early and moving on to the academy had happened in a blur. Life as an FBI agent wasn’t as glamorous or dangerous as the movies had people believe, but it got you where you wanted to go.

You hadn’t expected that playing a part in this saga of violence would have you falling in love with the very agent who had turned his back on your parents’ murders. You hadn’t expected the control you had given George over your body would have been a grounding force for your tortured mind. You had lost your mission and therefore your redemption. It was time to leave the past in the past.

You got up from the bench in the library foyer and moved on.

Walking into headquarters you held up your hands, the security guards had their weapons raised as soon as they spotted you. The few agents checking in for their shifts backed them up accordingly.

“I’m here to turn myself in, but I need to see Agent Aaron Hotchner on the sixth floor first.” The head of security nodded and a heavy set man from the cyber crimes stepped behind you, locking your hands behind your back in a cold biting pair of cuffs.

The elevator ride was stuffy and filled with bitterness, your arresting agents’ comm units buzzing over your circumstances. You wanted to make a joke, but they didn’t deserve your charms at the moment. The called floor dinged and the doors spread open to their bullpen. You inched forward with the weight of the agent’s pudgy fists on your back.

“Hey, guys, sorry I’m a bit tied up at the moment. Hotch around?” You kept your head up and waited for JJ to sprint up the stairs, pass the chief’s office and duck into the round table room. Morgan and Rossi emerged followed quickly by Hotch, who was holding Jack as the gentle smile fell from his face.

You exhaled, letting the bruises and despair of Hotch’s face tell you what you needed to know. Haley was dead. But Foyet hadn’t won, not completely. Hotch stood tall and the little boy remained untouched.

“I, Y/N Y/L/N would like to make a formal confession of my crimes, Agent Hotchner. But only if you will hear me out.”

@benedictcumberbatchstolemyheart @a-unique-girls-heaven @gummiishark @rottendaisies @sunnygubler @lovebodymindstuff @archaic-zugswang @darkheartednerdwithglasses @mikri-oneiropola @princesswagger14 @justwinchesterme96 @profiler-in-training @kennybud @onlyalittleteenwolfobsessed @conversations-with-you-61065 @dontshootmespence @moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown @cynbx @cherry-loves-fanfic @hotchnerfuckmeup @illegalcerebral @omallieallie @creativecody16 @kandii395 @tiny-potato-lives @april1535 @gabriellewritermua @daisydukes34 @fandomsxo @sonhadoraativa @nea90sweetie @mimiashton @thespaceprincess @emeliapondraggedymanfan @hgal @yellow-goddess @kindlekix @shawtygonemad @praisethetalos @fand0trash03 @sweetmurder12345 @etp666 @briannavillian  @heartsaved @beingbluntlyblount @musicalglitterunicorn @burningmusicmachine @whatwhatwhat

@fand0trash03 @mimiashton @destroyedbydickwolf @lonely-starbux-lovr @knotreallypunkrock @shadowhunterbetty @freekryptonitecloud @taniapvianita @thespaceprincess @southsiderepresent @whatwhatwhat @literallyprentissstwin @quite-weird-still-lovely @supermaddie3456 @sarcastic-ohohoh @gabriellewritermua

[kingdomblade]

Long, long final thoughts on Digimon Tri

Now that Digimon Tri is mostly over, you know, barring the dubs of the last two movies and all, I’ve been chewing it all over for the past couple of days and decided to post my thought here in one giant word vomit.

Good points:

Regardless of the quality of the series it was great to see all of the characters again and see how they’ve started to change. Don’t tell me you didn’t tear up a little when Tai and Agumon were reunited.

The Digimon themselves got a lot of great moments too, from Gomamon’s conflict with Joe, Gabumon comforting Matt, to everyone watching Gomamon comforting Matt. Tentomon’s snark in the dub is a gift.

If we're being honest then everything Gabumon did was gold though

The dub getting a good chunk of the cast back down to random characters like Tai’s mom and Ogremon, with most replacement actors either able to honor the original voice while putting their own spin on it (Kari), or do a completely different take on the character but still be able to portray them well (TK, Joe)

The dub singlehandedly redeeming the dialouge in Loss and improving the movie (Fingers crossed for Coexistance!)

Seeing all eight kids have their Digimon reach Mega level is every 90′s kids dream come true

Brave Heart Tri version is amazing! Easily

Joe, Tai, TK and Mimi had some nice character development moments - even if Mimi’s had little to do with the overall scenario - with Joe being the standout for me. While Meiko’s story was handled rather clunky, it wasn’t a bad arc either - I'm lowkey Meiko defense squad.

The art style was a departure from Digimon as a whole but was fitting for the tone they were going for with the series. While the art and animation wasn't always consistent by any means it could get quite nice when they wanted to, with Vikemon/Rosemon vs. Imperialdramon and the bit with Meiko and Meicoomon near the end of Future being some of my favorites.

Maki is confirmed for weapons alchemist

"Little Matt"

Bad points:

The characters are written in a way that makes them seem like they don't care about anyone but Meiko for a huge chunk of the series. Leomon dies in front of them and the only one to mention him after the fact is Meiko once - the only one who truly reacts to Leomon's death is Kari, who wouldn't have even met Leomon beforehand.

Tai seemingly dies and there is barely any reaction from the kids for quite some time. Gatomon and Meicoomon fuse together into Ordinemon and only Meicoomon is mentioned until halfway through Future - not even Kari brings her up!

That's not even getting to the 02 kids. Keeping them out of Tri and focusing on the original 8 + Meiko is perfectly fine, but the way it was handled only drew attention to the fact that they were missing more and more. You can't tell me that Mimi wouldn't get in contact with Yolei right away after moving back to Japan, that Izzy wouldn't send word to the others that they met a new Digidestined, or that anyone wouldn't reach out to them after several Digimon battles and getting their own partners back because hey, maybe they know something or could help. Even seeing the Digimon Emperor was treated as seeing an old villain again rather than seeing their friend betraying them. Every instance of finding them or every hint we got towards them was glazed over so much that it reinforces the fact that the Digidestined just Don't Care about anyone anymore. If the 02 characters got the exact same vague MIA treatment and lack of relevance except the kids were actively worried about them, then that would have changed things drastically for the better.

Even with all the characters having grown apart at the beginning of the series, it's out of character that at the least TK and Kari aren't in contact with Davis and the others, considering they were closer with the 02 kids, go to the same school and TK lives in the same apartment complex as Cody and Yolei.

And we have to assume like how nobody noticed the 02 kids were missing, neither did their parents so they didn't reach out to anyone or call the police or anything.

Also the 02 Digimon partners aren't saved because Joe and Mimi just straight up murdered them

The writers had a habit of bringing a lot of lore and callbacks into the series but either not doing anything with them (Ophanimon Falldown Mode and Wizardmon are completely removable) or not doing enough with them. Leomon dying in Mimi and Joe's movie -the two who watched him die before. TK doesn't directly bring up losing Patamon for a second and maybe final time which could add to the overall emotion, and TK/MagnaAngemon battling Devimon again in Future would have been an amazing way to bring his character full circle, defeating an old fear and moving past it. But they consistently decide that bringing up an reference is all they need to do.

I'm pretty convinced that the only reason the Digimon lost their memories was so Sora could have some kind of story - the other Digimon end up rekindling their relationships with their partners so quickly that in both movies 5 and 6 I forgot a memory wipe even happened until it was brought up in the dialogue. Basically the only ramification it has is Biyomon's intense personality change for the movie. While it's still one of Tri's best moments, the whole bit of Gabumon telling Matt that they will always be together loses some impact when Gabumon has technically only 'known' Matt for a couple of days at this point.

Coexistence in it's entirety - not only stopping the movie one too many times to have the same reassuring 'everything will be ok' reassurance for Meiko, but then having her suddenly turn around after all that and decide out of the blue that Meicoomon needs to die anyway so it was all just pointless in the end.

The series ended with a lot of loose ends, which in context of a potential sequel isn't a bad thing but in context of Tri makes for somewhat of an empty experience.

RIP Tokomon and Koromon's dub voices, MetalGarurumon's Digivolution sequence and Garudamon's height

Joe's girlfriend unrevealed, 0/10 series

Bonus:

Making a blatant callback to Tai and Matt holding hands during the VenomMyotismon battle, except not letting them hold hands this time because That’s Gay Now.

All in all I don't regret Tri and there are a lot of things to enjoy, a lot more than I wrote even. But the whole thing has been such a hassle from the beginning - If we 'nade nade' the egg enough then we'll get an announcement - but we did it too fast so they just full on stopped the counter. The teasers were sparse int he beginning, it ended up being a movie format where we had to wait several months between 'episodes' when what we got was still a TV quality show. And our reward for all the waiting was more bad writing, more inconsistencies, more handwaves and unexplained nonsense. It ended up being a mess similar to 02 with the difference being Tri was being written for people who grew up with the original cartoons and this was the result. It honestly kinda sucks that my list of dislikes is so much longer than my list of likes but it is what it is.Ironically enough despite all that, what they did worked. I watched all of the episodes as soon as they aired, went to (almost!) all of the movies in theaters, I'm definitely buying all the Blurays, and if they make a sequil with the 02 cast I'm going to be right there for that too. So I guess despite not putting out a great product, they're getting exactly what they're fishing for. I can only hope that things will be different next time, either better writing or making a TV anime like normal people. We'll see what the future has to hold!

[sophiie-draw]

30 Reasons Not to Kill Yourself

1. Don’t worry about being fixed because you’re not broken.

“When I am in a terrible place, I have always told myself that I am going through whatever it is that I am going through in order to be able to better empathize with other people going through similar situations, and that I will be able to use this experience to help other people get through it. Which makes the pain feel like it has a purpose. Also, I try not to label what I am going through as good or bad (or terrible, as I did above) and to remember that everything is exactly as it is meant to be.” – Jane Pratt

2. Tell yourself: “I’m so deeply proud of you. Never forget that.”

“The person in the mirror will get even more beautiful if you open your heart to others. ”

3. You won’t always feel this way.

“Feelings are not facts. Your depression and your addiction are lying to you. They want you to believe that you are worthless and hopeless and that you will always feel this way. But you won’t always feel this way. You might not even feel this way for very long. Your feelings are not facts and they are not the truth.” – Emily McCombs

4. Life will change.

“When I’m really feeling dark, it’s hard for me to accept promises that it will be better, or that the situation will improve, or really any kind of optimism. I argue with myself or with whoever it is that is trying to cheer me up, reminding them that in life there is no guarantee things will turn out well. However, reminding myself that my life will change and it will be different, though not necessarily great or better, is easier to accept.”

5. You are not alone.

“The big one for me I think is: You are not alone. There are people out there who are going through what you are going through – and many of them have been able to find an even keel through love and support. It’s okay to admit that you are struggling and to acknowledge that yes, things are pretty f-cking sh-tty right now.” – s.e. smith

6. Good people exist.

“My present self would tell my past self that life doesn’t have to be like this, that life won’t always be like this, and good people exist and adulthood truly means the freedom to discard expectations (your own and others’). You will be happy, even if your life looks totally different than you ever thought it would. I would also warn myself: depression and mutual misery is a poor foundation for a lasting relationship. Lastly, I would tell myself that Cymbalta and Klonopin really work miracles.”

7. Talk back to your life.

“My worst times and my darkest thoughts tend to be when it is literally the darkest; at night. At my absolute worst times I’ve gotten through the night by embracing the hopelessness in a way that almost makes it come full circle. It becomes me talking to my life, talking to Hope, talking to Tomorrow, like "I know you’re bullsh-t and you have nothing for me. You suck, Tomorrow. Now…a tiny part of me also knows I’m being irrational right now, so on the off-chance that I’m wrong, I’m gonna stick around one more day and I DARE you to show up, Hope.” It doesn’t magically “show up,” of course, but being a rude, foul-mouthed bitch in my mind has gotten me through some unbearable nights. I would go back further and tell myself to be as much of an asshole in my mental chats with my depression as it can be to me. Obviously this is not a long-term plan or suitable for all occasions, but at my worst times it has been about living through the night.“ – Pia Glenn

8. Everything is temporary.

"Nothing lasts forever, not even the profundity of grief. My lowest points in life have been the times I’ve felt the most challenged, the times I’ve grown as a person, and the times for which I feel, in retrospect, most grateful. What I wish I could have told myself is that I am worth coming out the other side. That I deserve to heal from pain. I used to see pain and drama as a badge that would elicit empathy or attention from other people. If I could, I would hug that person and tell her that life isn’t always nice or fair but it’s a hell of a lot better when you love yourself.”

9. Reaching out shows strength.

“It’s OK to be depressed, it’s OK to admit it, it’s OK to ask for help. You are not weak for reaching out, it is a show of strength. You are allowed to feel things, you are allowed to feel pain. But that pain and depression does not define you. You will get through it, and it will be hard, but in the end it will be a memory.” – Louise Hung

10. You got this.

“The most important war to win, will be the one against yourself, and it is winnable.”

11. Give yourself credit.

“No matter what picture has been painted, everyone is dealing with their own crippling sh-t. And the truth is, most people don’t have time to judge anyone else’s struggle. They’re trying to get through another day just like you are. If you can get just get one thing done today, you’re doing better than a lot of those people. Give yourself credit for that one thing and try for two tomorrow.” – Gabby Keegan

12. Shift your perception.

“Happiness is a choice and there is always a lesson to be learned from a difficult hardship. Whatever it is that you’re going through, it is transient and you can decide how much weight you want to put on that particular problem. Shift your perception and expect something positive is coming your way, always.” – Donna Kim

13. Breathe.

“In this moment it is NOT okay. You hurt, it’s scary how bad it hurts, I know. Remember when it hurt before? Then that one funny, great, silly, loving moment happened? When you laughed until your sides hurt? When you loved so much you thought your heart was going to fly out of your chest? That will happen again. Breathe.”

14. This too will pass.

“That this is only one tiny slice of your life, and that the farther you get away from it the harder it’ll be to remember the details.” – Kate Conway

15. Don’t listen to voices that are not helping you.

“I would say despite the overwhelmingly loud voice in your head, you are a good person. It will pass. I also tell myself that even though it seems terrifying, go outside. If I can’t bare to do it, try again tomorrow. I was crying uncontrollably two weeks ago. This was my inner dialogue.”

16. Give yourself credit for this very moment.

“This worst is over, and look, you’re making it through. Everything will be okay again soon.” – Mandy Velez

17. Don’t be ashamed of your pain.

“It is okay to hurt; there’s no good or bad reason. It’s okay to be really mad at people who guilt trip me to keep me alive. It’s okay to wish they would just say, ‘I want you here. I would survive if something happened to you. It’s not about that. I want you to stay, because I think you’re great, but if you can’t stay, I understand. I’ll love you no matter what.’ And when those well meaning people who are too afraid to say that, don’t, I would say it to myself.”

18. You are worthy, even at your worst.

“I know it is hard to see it now – but you are and will always be more than this moment in time. You are worthy, you are wonderful and you are filled with unlimited potential. Do not let the insecurities of others affect the shining star that you are.” – Brittany Driver

19. Screw stigma.

“Screw the stigma attached to using medication. It does make things better, and screw what other people think about that. I fought against going on anti-depressants for years, in part because I was afraid that they wouldn’t work and I would be out of options, and in part because of all the opinions that other people have about them (they’re no more effective than placebos, it’s what weak people do to avoid normal emotions, you won’t be your authentic self, etc.) Even though it took close to two years to find the right medications and dosage, I now have no doubt that drugs saved my life and I wish I had started sooner.”

20. Treat yourself as you would a dear friend.

“Confide in someone about how you are feeling, and let them help you. It is probably the best thing you could do for the person you know who needs the most sympathetic handling right now: you.” – Frank San Filippo

21. Go outside.

“Keep doing whatever tiny normal things you can do. Eat, even when it’s like chewing cardboard. Go outside and walk around the block, even if you have to go back to bed afterwards. Sleep as close to normal hours as possible, even if it means using medication.”

22. Focus on the things you can change.

“I can think of a very dark time where I felt everything was imploding around me – there was almost no aspect of my life that was going right. I wanted things to feel better, I hated the life I was in and I focused on comparing myself to others and focusing on my failures. And then as a birthday present I got a tattoo that says 'Que Sera, Sera.’ And since then I have developed a lighter mindset, I am more appreciative of what I have, and I try to focus on the things I can change instead of the things I can’t. But if I could tell myself one thing and knew I’d listen… I’d say 'You’ll live. And oh what an amazing life it’s going to be.’” – Liz Black

23.You don’t need to hide.

“Ask for help and let people give it. Mental illness is isolating in part because it feels humiliating. But people who love you don’t need you to hide this part of yourself. And even letting a friend bring you food can be such a relief at times when you’re afraid of the grocery store.”

24. Let it go.

“This feeling is just temporary.” – Claire Lower

25. Know you are in there.

“Other crazy people make better friends. My best friend, who suffers from anxiety/panic disorder, has been the greatest comfort to me through my last two severe depressive episodes, and through my day-to-day struggle to function. Being able to express the things I think to someone who isn’t distressed or repulsed by them is invaluable. I also am able to look at her and know that someone who has these issues is still a worthwhile and lovable person, even at times when I can’t see that about myself. After CBT and different combinations of medications, I’m mostly stable. There are still deeply sh-tty days and weeks, but not months. And once in a while, I get a day where I feel joy and know that myself is still in there and still worth trying to save.”

26. Stop beating up on yourself.

“Really – the self-deprecation you think is protecting you is only making you feel worse. You think you’re just pre-emptively saying the things everyone is thinking, but the only people thinking those things are assholes whose opinions don’t mean anything to anyone who matters. Look in the mirror and like what you see. Like yourself. You’re unique and so long as there is just one of you out there, you might as well have some fun, stop hating yourself and embrace the light.” – Allan Mott

27. Find solace in humor.

“Being alone is hard. Sometimes it feels like more than you can handle. But any time you feel lonely or ashamed, a bit of wit restores your control. This cleverness is more than solace; it is strength. So don’t despair. You will be better for it. You will be loved.”

28. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this moment.

“I still ask myself and family and friends on sh-tty days, 'Will this matter in ten years? Will I remember this? Will it be a blip on the huge radar screen of my life? Will this be an anecdote or one of those things I only half remember because it was so insignificant even though it feels like EVERYTHING now?’ Because in most cases the answer is that it won’t matter, it is insignificant in the grand scheme of your life and a minor plot device in the movie of your life that doesn’t affect the arc of the story in any important way. Okay some days your grandma dies, those days suck. But the things you think are awful and unimaginably insurmountable? They’re not, they’re just happening this moment. One of my teachers had a mantra to say during times I felt panic or anxiety, 'There is absolutely nothing wrong with this moment.’ He would say to just repeat it. Even if it felt untrue. And like mantras do, at some point, the sounds become the truth. It may sound like a platitude but it works for me.”

29. Just keep going, and look to art to show you how.

“God speaks to each of us as he makes us,

then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,

go to the limits of your longing.

Embody me.

Flare up like a flame

and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.

Just keep going. No feeling is final.

Don’t let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.

You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.” – Rainer Maria Rilke (via Hannah Johnson)

30. You don’t want to miss what’s going to happen next.

“Ride it out. The story’s not over. You don’t want to miss what’s going to happen next.” – Elizabeth Nelson

This is not mine @randomslasher left this in my ask box, so the credit goes all to them. Also that kinda sounded like Logan Sanders was talking to me. Thank you btw.