#truly the dark souls of rhythm games
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Two Stars
Chapter 1/Prologue
Heya guys! Once more, I am going feral over In Stars and Time and making fanfic. I intend to at least finish Bared Teeth and Open Hands before jumping into anything big, buuuuut this fun little plot bunny hit and I just HAD to get it out.
I meant for this to be funny but oops my hand slipped and there’s an enby crying now.
That said! Post game and 2hat spoilers below! Read at thine own risk! Enjoy~
Now available on AO3
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Loop and Siffrin get Freaky Friday’d.
*~*~*~*
“I wish that Loop could be themselves with us, I wish Loop could be themselves with us, I wish Loop could be themselves with us…”
———
Something warm was pressed to their back, moving rhythmically, as something else wrapped securely around their front. The smell of sandalwood deodorant wasn’t quite enough to mask the scent of sweat, and for some reason that combination of stimulus was enough to make tears leak from their closed eye. The haziness of sleep was washed away in a heart-crushing wave of warmth.
Isabeau.
No, no. Not Isabeau. The Fighter. Isabeau, their Isabeau, was gone… right?
But somehow they were here.
They didn’t dare open their eye, afraid to break whatever fragile illusion was making their heart—heart, they had a heart!—twist in the best kind of pain: less like an injury, and more like stretching a long-sore muscle. It felt warm, right even. If only for that moment, they were loved, and seems they truly were still Siffrin at heart, greedily absorbing the comfort even when they didn’t even understand why they were receiving it. Was this a dream? Their own… world? (Was that how it worked? They’re pretty sure it wasn’t). Some peaceful afterlife? Maybe the Universe spun sugar for them, allowing a nice dream as they faded from existence, role finished.
Stop questioning it. Just enjoy.
“Sif…?” Mumbled a sleepy, wonderfully husky voice. “You okay buddy?” They were pulled a little closer. He was touching them. Willingly!
They meant to say something witty or clever, maybe a pun, anything disarming really! But what came out of their mouth—they had a mouth!—was a little sob.
The Fighter tried to pull his hand away, but they grabbed it reflexively. It couldn’t end, not yet! It was embarrassing, needy, taking advantage of his kindness, but they put his hand to their face, guiding it to stroke their cheek. Their eye rolled up at the sensation, the brush of skin against skin, the warmth, even the little beads of sweat. It was him.
He took over, thumb stroking their cheek, wiping away their tears, while his other fingers threaded into their hair—they had hair! Their breath caught, coming out in a shuddering, relieved sigh with only a hint of sobbing at the end. After so long with no contact, after so long stuck in that starry form, they were drunk on the sensations: the subtle pull of hair against their scalp, the in and out against their back, the way their own breath fell in the rhythm, the thrum of a heart in their chest, the grounded security of a strong arm, the smell of him, the sheer warmth.
It was dizzying, overwhelming, too much to think. They never wanted it to end.
“I’m here, buddy. It’s okay,” Isabeau crooned.
That broke whatever remained. They cried openly as the long-tangled barbed wire of stress and jealousy and loneliness that’d been choking their very soul finally snapped and left them free. Naked, unprotected, but free. And here, at least, they were safe.
“I love you.”
Caught up in the moment, Loop could pretend that was meant for them.
———
And back in Dormont, under the night-dark shade of the favor tree, Siffrin stared in quiet horror at the stars dotting what should’ve been his hands.
*-*-*
I prefer tea, but buy me a Kofi?
#isat fanfic#isat 2hat#isat siffrin#isat loop#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat isabeau#freaky friday
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I'm a loser who both spends too much time playing gacha games and loves to hear myself talk, so here's another game review style post, this time covering my first day playing Break My Case. This time I'm not even being a little hater! I'm a lover! I'm cringe! I'm free! I love you Coly! I love you ikemen gacha games!!!!!!!
Break My Case is a new puzzle-music-adventure mobile game from Coly, the developers behind Mahoutsukai no Yakusoku and On Air. More relevant to BMC/BreMai is their game Stand My Heroes, with which it shares a writer, some gameplay elements, and of course a naming convention. Coly has developed a bit of a cult following for their unique status in the Japanese mobile gaming world: they're a company that was founded by women and hires women to make games for women. They put a lot of soul into their games. From the start, BMC is no different!
"Could you have pulled a clean version of this image from the internet so it didn't have all the game junk" no. it's my tumblr and you get my screenshots.
I (with help from friends) overviewed the initial Break My Case announcement back when it dropped. You can read that here! I said in that post that I thought a "dark rhythm game" would be a really cool direction for the game… and that's more or less what we got! GO ME!!!!!
First: the game's presentation is fantastic. Super slick graphical design and just amazing atmosphere. The sound design of this game is incredible. Genuinely. Really, really, good. All the music is amazing—I'm not knowledgeable enough to say anything other than "IT SLAPS!", but it totally does slap. The illustrations for the cards are all wonderfully atmospheric in and of themselves, and are just a delight to look at on the homescreen with its chill background music. Even just navigating menus is a sleek, seamless experience. The live2d is well-done, although it clashes a tad with the art style for a bit of an uncanny look at times.
The atmosphere! The atmospheeeeeeere!!!
Of course, the draw to this game is the characters and story, so let's jump into that. I'll admit right now that I read the story through a machine translation—I have aaaalmost enough Japanese knowledge to fill in the gaps, especially since the story is fully voiced, but I'm definitely not getting the full nuance of the story that someone fluent in Japanese is going to get. THAT SAID, after completing the prologue, I was definitely intrigued enough that I want to continue slogging through the MTL just to read more! There's a great setup, centered around the bar Aporia and its three modes—a daytime cafe, a nighttime members-only bar, and, secretly, a "fixer" service who'll help anyone with any problem. Our main character, a woman who was just forced to quit her job at a corrupt company, gets hired to replace Aporia's eccentric owner while he goes on a who-knows-how-long vacation. The owner also has the role of "tail"—as in, the tail a lizard sheds to avoid being eaten. If anything in the fixer service goes wrong, it's the owner who takes the fall and the blame. This hasn't come to mean much in practice yet in the (quite short) prologue, but it's a fascinating setup. The story promises to touch on themes of the threads that weave our lives together, how small meetings can lead to massive life changes, and whether any human being is truly replaceable, even in our modern corporate world where people are treated like cogs in a machine. According to a staff interview, there are a handful of references to Stand My Heroes in BreMai, but the games' settings aren't otherwise closely linked.
Rough translation in alt text. The Aporia manager Ai may be the most mysterious, intimidating character, but he also beefs with a parrot the first time you meet him, so...
All the characters are staff at Aporia with various unique roles and background. The prologue just gives you a little bit of each of them, but everyone does show up, and they all have interesting dynamics with each other already. Ai, the stern manager, has some history with the MC that he refuses to divulge, and goes so far as to force psychologist Riku to agree to not look into it. The range of relationships among the staff run the gamut from the calm and mature friendship between fortune teller Kiho and art teacher Kyoya, to the unfaltering dedication of Yu to his ex-mafioso savior Tomose, to the ridiculous Takeru and Soyogu who spend their first appearance waking up after having gotten black-out drunk together the night before. My favorite dynamic of all so far is that of Kou and Mao—Kou is a playboy who insists he's not a playboy, and is introduced evading a woman by… asking the icy Mao to pretend to be his boyfriend so that she thinks he's taken and gay and leaves him alone. Which Mao exasperatedly agrees to, telling Kou that he's used up his allotment for this month which ohmygod how often does Kou do this. Kou if you're asking this guy to pretend to be your gay lover so often he gives you a monthly limit I think you might just have to admit you want him to actually be your gay lover, Kou, oh my god—
Rough TL in alt text. Kou is letting the implication do all the heavy lifting here. He technically never said he was dating Mao. Technically.
youtube
On to the gameplay. There's gameplay! Unique gameplay! Good unique gameplay! Oh my god, uncharted joseimuke territory! The main gameplay mode is a match-3 puzzle game with rhythm elements. As in other rhythm games, each song in the game is its own level, more or less. (Each character has two unique songs, and three songs shared with the other members of their unit.) You set up a team with cards you've collected from the gacha, which determine your power level and special skills. The "leader" of the team has to be the character whose level you've selected. The puzzle gameplay is a tile-swapping match 3—think bejeweled or candy crush—but the tiles you've matched are only cleared once a bar sliding across the screen hits them, clearing them in tune with the song. Everything cleared in a single swipe of the bar ups the combo counter. There's also a life system, where if the bar slides across the screen without clearing a single match, you lose a life… But the bar moves pretty slow. You're not likely to game over or even lose a single life any time soon. There are more difficult versions of the levels I've yet to unlock, so I'm sure the life meter becomes relevant then. There's also "auto" and "loop" features if you want to grind a level over and over for exp and items, but, of course, the computer can't score as high as you playing it yourself.
And, really, it's fun to play, so why would you want to!? The sound of matches clearing with the music is so satisfying and really makes you want to combo as high as possible. Once you've matched some tiles, you can't move them again, nor use them in a second match (eg, in a cross shape), so if you want to maximize your combo and make as many matches as possible with what's on the board, you have to think ahead about which matches you're going to make. The bar slowly crossing the screen adds a visual timed element that gives some urgency to putting all the matches together. It definitely feels like a game you can pick up an instinct for over time, which is super fun.
All in all, a really solid, enjoyable little puzzle game. It would be fun to play even without the promise of anime boys. Stand My Heroes is also a match-3, for the record, which is what really cements the two games as being part of the same series.
Admittedly, the anime boy staring at you while you play musical candy crush is a little disconcerting.
The second gameplay mode is "Snap'n Spin", a… gameplay-lite mode that just puts chibi characters in random strange situations and lets you take pictures of them. The mode is explained to be a video game within the world of BreMai, so it's not even trying to be realistic or relevant to anything else in the game. Once you take your pokemon snaps of the boys, they get a fun little caption. You can save up to 40 pictures in your album. Other than being cute, the main way this mode interfaces with the rest of the game is that it's the primary way to unlock card stories for the cards you pulled in gacha.
This gameplay mode is... cute? I guess? It being so disconnected from the style and aesthetics of the entire rest of the game felt weird. The chibis are adorable, so it has that going for it. And I do like some of the captions you get on the photos afterwards. My favorite were the scenes you catch of a character drinking, and then the caption reveals their current favorite drink. That's a delightful detail for a game set in a bar. Mostly, though, this mode left me wondering "why?" ...And I imagine the answer is something like "because merchandisable chibi characters are a requirement for joseimuke games." This mode could've been anything so long as these cute, starry little dudes were in it.
Urara here hated the drink and the caption revealed that, lately, his favorite thing is sparkling water. He's the youngest character in the cast, so I guess he hasn't grown into booze yet...
One last feature I want to mention is the jukebox. Like many games, BreMai has a music player that lets you listen to tracks from the game… But its music player is, genuinely, a fully-featured music player app with shuffle, repeat, lyric displays, and even background play that works when you're in another app or your phone is off. What! Wild! When I first learned a few days ago that BreMai had a built-in player for its BGM tracks, my first thought was "Well, what's stopping someone from downloading the game just to use the music player and never spending a cent on it? Wouldn't you rather have the songs on spotify so you at least get a pittance of ad revenue, in that case? It's more than nothing."
But having played the game now, I see what they did to prevent that, lol. You don't unlock the songs in the jukebox until you get an SS score on the song's level. Which, I mean, that's normal rhythm game stuff, of course. Can't fault that decision. But, as in other gacha rhythm games, your score in a level depends on the power of your team of cards, and the cards you get from the initial handful of pulls aren't gonna get you anywhere near an SS score without significant investment. So you're either buying in-game currency to buy upgrade items, more gacha pulls, or both. Of course, you can also put a bunch of time into grinding for upgrade items—they drop from levels. Gacha currency is harder to come by. So you're not getting songs in the player without actually playing the game lmfao. The character solo songs in particular (the ones with vocals rather than just instrumentals) also require you to build up rapport with that character—the game calls it "Nice". You build up Nice with them by playing their other songs and using their cards in levels. It takes 1000 Nice on a character to unlock their song. In my first day of playing, I was able to get one character to about 250 Nice, another to 200, and a handful more with a few points, so it builds at an okay pace. There's ways to pay to speed up the grinding for Nice and for upgrade items with things like level skip tickets. So, basically: you're not getting that music player to a useful state without investing either money or time, lmao. Is paying-or-grinding to get cool music you can listen to while not playing the game more "worth it" than the usual freemium game goals of better units, new in-game outfits, or prettier card illustrations? ...Honestly, maybe it is? It's novel, at least.
All gacha rhythm games have the same card select screen, don't they. These were my cards' levels after my first day of play, and you can see they didn't quite reach a suggested score of "A", much less the maximum "SS".
But I do want to stress, the monetization is, for the most part, pretty easy to ignore. Nothing in-your-face. The button to go to the shop screen is a different color, but it's not flashing with an eternal indicator, it's not popping up at every second, it's just sitting there alongside all the other menu buttons. The game isn't shoving timers in your face at all times—there's a stamina meter, which is mildly annoying, but you get ten plays when it's full, and if you're just playing casually you're probably not going to want to play the puzzle game over and over enough to fully deplete that. I know the bar is on the damn floor here but Tokyo Debunker seriously made me realize how bad it can be with mobile game monetization. BreMai is freemium, yeah, but as far as dark patterns go, it's not egregiously bad.
So, the verdict: if you're a joseimuke game fan and aren't afraid to play a game that probably won't get an English port and doesn't even have a fan translation yet (which I realize is already counting out 99.99% of people), definitely give this one a try. See if you like the gameplay—it really is worth trying—and do check out the story if you've got the ability. Or just look at the pretty anime boys.
#suchobabbles#break my case#do you know how self-conscious i feel posting this. its actually so bad#so many feelings like 'did you seriously just write 2k words about a gacha game you played for a single day'#'why are you trying to pretend to be a game reviewer you have no qualifications and nobody cares about your opinions'#'stop roleplaying like youre a columnist blogger in the 2010s youre literally a tumblr nobody'#but im fighting the demons and im posting this anyways
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TOP TEN GAMES I BEAT THIS YEAR
In 2023, I completed 34 games, from Final Fantasy VII to Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion to PaRappa the Rapper. These are my ten favorite, in order, and a little writeup of each I had a LOT of fun doing. Enjoy!
10. DARK SOULS
It’s a game I had to want to like, and maybe more than any of the others on the list, I had to meet it halfway. I’m a fan of challenging games, and - stop me if you’ve heard this one before - Dark Souls is pretty hard. But it’s not bullshit. Mostly. I ran into some hard walls here and there, but those walls turned into my favorite fights in the game once I finally mastered them. The reason it’s so low on the list is because the back half is… Well, it’s not very good, folks. Of the four bosses you need to defeat to open the door to the final area, I could call two of them good fights, and I could only do one of those without hesitating.
9. THE CASE OF THE GOLDEN IDOL
I love a detective game, and what makes Golden Idol really stand out is its incredible format and mechanics. Given a series of still* images, and the contents of a bunch of random people’s pockets, can you determine what happened? It feels cheap to compare games and not just speak about what I enjoyed of a game of its own merits, but I can’t talk about this game without talking about Return of the Obra Dinn, which had a similar sort of ‘fill in the blank’ approach to its mysteries. Golden Idol’s supernatural elements, twists and reveals, and charmingly off-putting art style lend themselves well to one of the most unique games I played this year.
8. SIFU
This is the best rhythm game I played this year. Finding the flow of Sifu’s combat felt like a dance, going from a steady beat to a frenetic scramble in the span of a single missed step. I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m a massive sucker for good movement in games, and Sifu’s jives extraordinarily well with its combat and environments. Really, the only problem I had with Sifu was that it felt a bit short - well, and it didn’t quite deliver the challenge I was looking for, but that’s the fault of whoever described it to me as a Soulslike first just because it has, like… a revival mechanic? Also, the first time it transitioned to a side view for a hallway fight, it basically secured a spot on this list.
7. GHOST TRICK
I tried to play through this game in high school, but got stalled out on some puzzle or another. I honestly don’t remember which, but I’m SO glad I came back to it. I’ve always loved Shu Takumi’s writing and character work in the Ace Attorney series; Ghost Trick is just as good, if not better than any individual AA game in that regard. Really, the characters feel like the ones in the AA spinoffs like Investigations, Great Ace Attorney, or the Layton crossover, which are some of the best characters in the series - but with none of the self-defeating energy of having to be largely unimportant to the mainline games. Also, Missile might be the greatest character in video games ever.
6. PARADISE KILLER
Some games make you fervently pitch their merits to friends, hoping that they’ll play it so you can chat with someone who gets it. This is the fate of many detective games, which live and die in the territory of spoilers. There are detective games that try to get around this by having procedurally generated cases or multiple endings with multiple ‘real’ culprits, which can often be antithetical to what makes a detective game truly sing. Paradise Killer’s answer is that not only is it never going to tell you what the truth is, but that ambiguity is the point. The clues never change, and the only objective is to find a truth that satisfies you. All that is made even better by the premise being steeped in synths and neon, with a vibrantly occult cast who are all just the absolute fucking worst.
5. TEARS OF THE KINGDOM
I mean, come on. It’s Tears of the Kingdom. While I’d really hoped for playable Zelda, what we did get of the character was far more moving than whatever her deal usually is. The chasm was an incredible surprise, and since Skyward Sword is one of my favorite Zelda games, I had a ton of fun with the skydive mechanics. There’s also the building system, which managed the near impossible feat of having things control basically how you’d expect them to once you slapped a steering wheel on them. It felt like there was just so much love for the previous games in the series, without being overly reliant on them. If I had to pick a favorite moment in the game, it would have to be during the Wind Temple’s boss fight, when the Dragon Roost Island theme from Wind Waker cut through the track and made me feel like I could have taken on Ganondorf with a tree branch in that moment.
4. PERSONA 5 ROYAL/PERSONA 5 STRIKERS/PERSONA Q2
Is this cheating? Yes. But hear me out. I knew Royal was going to be on the list, and then it turned out that I liked Strikers and Q2 as much, if not more than Royal. While Royal has higher highs, it also has much lower lows - Strikers and Q2 don’t engage in nearly as much of the weak parts of Royal. But they also don’t function even a little bit without it. Strikers dragged in the gameplay department a little bit, but I loved being able to play as every Phantom Thief - and Q2 was such a vast improvement over Q1 in pretty much every department. So my number four spot on my top ten games of the year is ‘every game I played this year that has Akira Kurusu in it.’ So, since I started Tactica, maybe that counts too… and if you want to be technical, I think I played a few rounds of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in June, so I guess that has the number four spot too.
3. ARMORED CORE 6
In 2023, I really and truly entered my mech era. I built Gunpla this year, I started playing in a really fun new Lancer campaign, and I played the shit out of Armored Core 6. I’d never played one before, but I was hooked from the tutorial boss alone. I beat the game once and, at the advice of a few friends, started a new game plus run - and before I knew it, I’d already beaten it again. I’ll do a third run too, at some point. Once I learned the all-consuming power of the pile bunker, I was out there decimating the arena foes like nothing else - and, once I figured out how to time out my missile strikes, I managed to slam through 75% of the final boss’ health in a single blow. That was the single most satisfying hit of this year across any game. Oh, and - keep an eye out, because I have a hankering to write some Maeterlinck-focused fic at some point. Because I sure do love me my one-off characters.
2. SCARLET NEXUS
Up until the final entry swung through and claimed the top spot, Scarlet Nexus seemed like a complete and total shoo-in for number one. Very few games have ever motivated me to complete them to the degree I did this one, including getting all Steam achievements and a ton of the optional content in game you don’t need for that. Kasane and Yuito are endearing protagonists with cool powers, genuine flaws, and vastly different outlooks. There were some plot threads from chapter one I thought had been dropped, but as it turns out they were only really dropped in Kasane’s story, and were far more focused on in Yuito’s, while he didn’t engage with most of her whole deal until the endgame. She spends most of her story dealing with causality and time travel, and he doesn’t even know time travel is a thing at all until there’s maybe 25% of the game left. And at the end, it still manages to feel complete coming from either side. The supporting cast is extremely strong, too, and the way powers flow together make the fights feel dynamic, fun, and tie to the themes of combining disparate people to make things better for everyone - to stop holding onto the past and strive for a better future, no matter how much work it takes.
1. 13 SENTINELS: AEGIS RIM
You should play this game. There’s no two ways about it. It’s a severely underrated title with incredible art, writing, gameplay, voice acting - 13 Sentinels fires on all cylinders. It’s half visual novel walkarounds with the occasional puzzle, exploring the individual stories of the thirteen protagonists across a variety of genres. One character is doing 80s high school movie hijinks with his exposition-loving best friend, while another is trying to solve the disappearance of her best friend. Said best friend is engaging in escapades with a small alien just like her favorite UFO movies, and a fourth guy entirely is doing Blade Runner shit. At one point, there’s a character who has appeared fairly infrequently and finally becomes available to play, and when he appears on the select screen, he’s standing in front of a sea of flames while the other characters typically appear in front of schoolrooms, city streets, their own homes. The emotional beat when you click through and hear him start talking about how he’s proud to be enlisting as a Japanese soldier in 1944 is one of the strongest in the game. Each story weaves around another and provides further depth to events you’ve already seen, while the entire chronological story is combined into a single timeline of events you’re free to look at whenever. But then, on the other side of the game from the character stories, you have the fights - or, rather, the fight. Because the combat side of things all takes place within pretty much a single day - a grueling, nonstop battle where the characters must drive away wave after wave after wave of invaders without letting even a single one through. Each has their own mechs and certain special abilities that gear them for different scenarios, and if you want to experience everything, you have to bounce back and forth between the stories and the fighting, constantly unlocking aspects of the other. The biggest problem with the game is just choice paralysis - there’s so much to do, it’s hard to know where to start. But once you’re able to bite into it, chipping away at the Gordian plot rewards you with a deeply moving story about the plight of a generation thrust into a ceaseless strife, burdened by the heavy expectations of their predecessors to finally solve it and the even heavier feeling that there just are no answers to find in the first place. And also, there are sick as fuck giant mechs. I told you I was in my mech era this year.
#i don't really know what to tag this or if i really even should but#i really liked writing these and i'll probably write a little for every game i beat in the upcoming year#i do a thread on twitter chronicling the games i beat#with the state of twitter as it is i'm gonna move that to here and cohost#but enjoy!
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Honest review of Shadow of the Erdtree so far, over three days of play. I haven't finished the DLC yet, and this will be light on spoilers as a result of that. All of this is from regular new game, with a high level character appropriate for the DLC.
Very strong atmosphere, and not much else. This thing has the soul of a particularly evocative oil painting. It answers the question of "what can you do to add further depth to the Elden Ring open world formula" with a resounding "graphics."
Reused enemies litter the place even more severely than the base game. If it's not the 4000th Messmer soldier, it's the sixth reskin of a base game dragon, or it's yet another lobster. Or cemetery shade. Or fingercreeper. Or dog. Or pretty much any base game enemy you were loathe to see more of. The open world is as stark and beautiful as it is devoid of actual activity, a hauntingly grim landscape with endless shades of different geography and equally endless monotony. The dungeoneering is incredibly strong, but that only makes it more obvious how much space and time is wasted between opportunities to actually do that. In fact, I might've missed a ton of fun dungeons just due to the sheer size of the map and how difficult it is to traverse efficiently.
The bosses shine as brightly as they suck, but overall it's positive. Reflexes are essential here, moreso than they've ever been in a fromsoft game. If you liked the slow, deliberate combat of Dark Souls, you won't find any of that here. It is entirely possible to be too slow with your reactions to ever be good at some boss encounters, as their massively increased moveset fluidity largely nullifies memorization for all but the most patient and least otherwise busy gamers. Every fight will be a long one, multiple minutes of concentration, due to the massive health pools each boss has, with very few exceptions. This might sound overly negative, but it's helpful to think of the boss encounters more in terms of Sekiro bosses than Dark Souls, and this isn't a point of criticism. Constant movement is essential. Positioning and reading of minute detail are essential, and not replaceable with high health or numerous heals. The bosses dance in very particular ways, and I find that for most of the better bosses I've fought so far, there is typically a rhythm you can discern to follow the fight through to the end with very little healing necessary. It's not a combat experience that feels balanced toward player success through force of will, it feels demanding of player synchronicity. You succeed by submission, by choosing to allow your enemies the lead position that they were not truly asking for to begin with. Chafe against them, and die. Move with them, keep steady with them, and win.
Loot is sparse, and quality is questionable. It took me until my third day of play to find a single spell in this DLC, and I've found about a dozen weapons so far. I was expecting to find dozens littering the grounds, but there was no room what with the very plot-important infestation of Messmer soldiers. I've found an oddly high number of new consumables that I will never use, and of course with that comes oodles and caboodles and toast strudels of new crafting materials that I only pick up because of the sheer monkey brained tendency to grab the colorful fruit. I'm sure someone is crafting festive weapon grease, and I choose to be happy for this imaginary person.
I don't have much to say about the plot. I don't believe I've gone far enough in to really know what the plot even is yet. I couldn't even tell you where the realm of shadow is meant to be, or if it is even a material place in the same way the Lands Between are. I have no idea who Messmer is, who Rellana is, or what Miquella is doing. To be honest, the questions that burn brightest for me are ones raised in the dlc rather than in the base game. Of course I was curious about Miquella before, but I find that very little of the intrigue that is intentionally being built around Miquella here actually scans to anything I was truly invested in. The DLC has put an incredible amount of emphasis on the mystery of both Miquella and Messmer, but this feels misplaced due to how unclear the stakes are. This isn't some part of becoming elden lord, this is joining a group of disparate weirdos who are under the spell of an absentee god. Hell, as far as I know Messmer isn't even name dropped in the entire main game, which makes his apparent super duper importance here seem less than credible. I'm sure whatever the plot does will be interesting, but at least the beginning lacks any strong hook for me to want to look into it. I might just force myself into the plot on purpose to have anything worthwhile to do, and this is probably the first ever open world experience where that is actually a believable problem to have.
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She, Praise her ..
The name of a broken
angel, Marryanne Judas.
They say curiosity killed the cat, O'darling, but perhaps it was simply boredom. I, on the other hand, thrive on intrigue, Marryanne Judas, a name that shimmers with enigmatic charm.
An Aquarius through and through, I crave the thrill of the chase, the untangling of mysteries. Whether it's strategizing in the vibrant worlds of Roblox or facing the heart-pounding terror of Dead by Daylight, games are my playground. But the fun doesn't stop there.
I'm equally enthralled by watching skilled gamers conquer nightmarish landscapes in survival horror adventures. From Youtubers gaming to captivating Vtubers, their battles ignite a fire within me.
They say the game is afoot, and with a name like Marryanne Judas, the stakes are always high.
.. Ready to play?
The neon lights of the city bled through the blinds, casting long shadows across the worn leather chair I occupied. My playlist cycled through a carefully curated mix – the smooth, seductive tones of Daniel Di Angelo, the dark, atmospheric beats of Chase Atlantic, and the soulful vulnerability of Chris Grey.
They were the soundtrack to my nights, a symphony of secrets and unspoken desires.
But vulnerability wasn't a luxury I often afforded myself. When the world needed a shield, I donned it with grace, seeking solace only in the whispers of Ellise & Alina's soothing melodies and the raw honesty of Nessa Barrett's voice.
Deep down, a different rhythm pulsed. Heart thumped to the beat of girl power anthems. I craved the fierceness of IVE, the audacity of BABYMON, the cutting-edge sounds of AESPA, and the undeniable charisma of BLACKPINK.
But there is BTS, the exception that confirmed the rule, proved even the most guarded heart could find a melody that resonated.
They were more than just music; they were a battle cry, a declaration of power in a world that often tried to dim the light of queens. A slow smile curved my lips, the glint in my eyes mirroring the city lights outside.
Maybe tonight wouldn't be about hiding in the shadows.
Maybe tonight, the femme fatale with a playlist for every mood would step into the spotlight.
After all.. even sirens needed their anthem.
Disclaimer!
This account exists in the shadows, a carefully crafted persona for a world that thrives on anonymity. Here, you'll find the reflections of my true self woven into random tweets, but the name you see is a mask, not a mirror.
Respect is the language of the truly powerful. Let's create a space where we can connect and engage without the constraints of reality, but always with the understanding that behind every username lies a human being.
Welcome to the world I've built, but remember, the truest stories are often left unwritten.
Ugly angels spoke to me.
The blame, i heard them say, was mine.
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I think I am gonna make a Media thread to share what I’ve played/watched this year. It looks like a fun thing to do! (Copied from my Twitter thread)
Here’s what I experienced in 2023
Dark Souls 2 Scholar of the first sin:
While souls games tend to be frustrating for me, they are also brilliant experiences, and I had a ton of fun with DS2! The Halbert in this game specifically is my favorite weapon in the entire series as of rn.
Neon White:
I hope everyone finds a game that fits their taste as well as Neon White fits mine. One of my new favorite games with such a satisfying sense of flow and rhythm that I couldn’t put it down till I got a gold medal on every stage.
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish:
I loved the TV show they did so I wasn’t totally surprised but this exceeded my expectations. Gorgeous art style, fluid animation, compelling characters, and the most intimidating animated movie villain in a long time make this a winner in my book!
Bocchi the Rock Season 1:
IT’S SO CUTE AND FUN OMG!!!! A really heartfelt and well realized story with an absolute banger soundtrack. I loved every single character and every single episode so much, it’s truly an amazing show!
Elden Ring:
This game is scary in how good it is. It’s massive, intensely difficult, detailed, and beautifully crafted. It’s so much that I’m inclined to say it’s too much. But too much of a masterpiece is still a masterpiece. I’m carrying this victory with me for a long time.
Transistor:
Holy wow, I haven’t been surprised by a game like this in awhile! It’s an extremely well designed tactical action game with an unconventional narrative structure and absolutely killer visuals and music. I’ll definitely consider returning for another run later on!
Summer Wars:
An absolute rollercoaster of a movie. I really enjoyed the family dynamic and the different ways the story unfolded. It wasn’t what I expected at all and I think it was better for it. The visual design is incredible too! It’s very pleasant to look at. A fun movie!!
Journey:
I’ve rarely seen a game so perfectly titled. It was a true journey. It was an experience that was unique to me and my own playthrough. That’s what I think is truly special about this game. The people you meet and the way you progress while linear is truly your own
John Wick 4:
Absolutely lives up to the quality of this series. John wick continues to impress me with its action choreography and cinematography. This entry specifically has a strong set of side characters, some excellent music compositions, and amazing settings. Loved this one!
Portal 2 (Co-op):
I played the single player years ago but I finally got to finish the co-op campaign and it was a blast!!! Portal is one of if not the most satisfying puzzle games I’ve played. Reminds me how much of a classic this one is. Shoutout to my cousin for joining me!
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves:
A really enjoyable action comedy movie! It did a good job capturing the dynamic of a dnd party. A super fun time with genuine humor, great performances all around, and the appropriate amount of chaos for a movie in the dnd universe.
The Super Mario Bros Movie:
A solid film! The Music stole the show for me, Peach and Bowser were huge highlights and Luigi and Toad had great performances too! I was disappointed by the Kongs voices but it’s a film with a lot of love for the series in there! Peach is great btw💕
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom :
This game somehow impresses today in the same way botw does. The improvements rocket this game into the stratosphere. While i suffered the same fatigue I did with Elden ring at the end, I also found myself in awe almost the entire time
Spider Man: Across the Spiderverse :
I um, don’t know what to say. Visual feast, extremely compelling plot, character work that hit so so hard, an animated movie the likes of which I’ve never seen. Just incredible
Barbie Movie:
It was so incredibly fun. I had a good few laughs and it had really compelling characters. Very appropriately campy with the depth to back up the camp. A well made film
Cassette Beasts:
What a fantastic game. It recaptured the magic I haven’t felt since playing Pokémon platinum for the first time. It’s battle system is so engaging, story filled with mystery, characters absolutely lovely, and a world that is just the right size for exploring. 💕
#video games#movies#anime#dark souls#puss in boots#neon white#bocchi the rock!#elden ring#transistor#summer wars#journey#john wick#portal 2#dnd#super mario#tears of the kingdom#media thread 2023#across the spiderverse#barbie
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First Sentence Game
I was tagged by @yourenotdonefighting💕
Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.
1. Lydia thinks maybe five minutes have passed. Ten at most. Ten minutes standing in the doorway of Derek Hale’s loft, him kneeling with his head in his hands while his sister’s sobs echoed in the cavernous space...
Some things you just can't speak about - Stydia, 6k, 3a angst with a happy ending
2. Every night, for the past three weeks, Stiles has been with her. She already has a permanent place in his mind, his heart, his soul. She visits him in his dreams now too. Lydia.
I thought that I was dreaming (when you said you loved me) - Stydia, 3k, 3b, coping with grief and trauma, angst with a peaceful ending
3. Life is good. Lydia is happy. Truly happy.
This Love - Stydia, 950 words, post 6x10 feel good fluff, summer of Stydia.
4. Lydia presses her palms against the cold metal of the door handle. She uses her forward momentum to push down as she steps out of the fluorescence of the school hallway and into the vibrant golden sunlight of mid-afternoon.
Falling Slowly - Stydia, 290k, post 6x10, summer of Stydia, Lydia's recovered memories
5. My brother, Dean, died on a Thursday night in November.
Lies My Brother Told Me - Sam & Dean, 672 words, post 15x20, loss, grief, emotional hurt - minus the comfort
6. It’s early morning, and the sun is leisurely rising over Beacon Hills. A dome of sky-blue anchors blush pink and pale lavender tones to a subdued earth that is canopied with streaks of silver-coated clouds. Lydia wakes next to Stiles.
Written in the Stars - Stydia, 4k, post Wild Hunt, meaningful fluff, love and a bit of smut
7. Lydia stands at her bedroom window. It’s late morning, but the sky is dark – cloaked by a mass of grey clouds that appropriately hide the sun from curious onlookers.
A Breath Between Us - Stydia, 125k, post 3b, coping with grief and trauma, ANGST with a happy ending
8. Lydia Martin stands in the operating room of Deaton’s clinic while Derek Hale clings tightly to her hand. After having spent hours crammed into the backseat of the Jeep, traveling from Mexico to Beacon Hills, she is exhausted, cranky, and aching all over.
Regression to the Mean - Stydia, 30k, alternate s4, angst with a happy ending
9. Lydia Martin wakes to the rhythm of a steady beeping sound. Her head feels heavy, her body is numb, and unwelcomed light filters through her eyelids.
Back Together - Stydia, 2k, how it should have been post 6x16
10. Lydia wades through pitch darkness using her hands to guide her. The air is cold and damp. The space around her, narrow like a tunnel. She feels intensely afraid – like nothing she has ever experienced.
Stay - Stydia, 4k, post 6a, how it should have been (if 6b existed)
Tagging @kylermalloy, @stydiashipper11, and anyone else who would like to do this.
#first sentence game#tag game#writing#stydia#teen wolf#sam winchester#supernatural#fan fiction#my writing#remember I love queue
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A little tale of an angel and a demon. Not Good Omens (although there might be some influences), I love the concept of opposing forces meeting and making up and wanted to make my own, so I chose Raphael and Asmodeus.
I’m a bit obsessed about the secularization of christian mythology, and some years ago I designed a board game about Armageddon, where you play with demonic forces and the heavenly host, so got kind of into that.
words: 1 608
After Armageddon
The sky was glowing faintly with red. There were clouds quietly assembling, giving the dim glow a dark edge. There was going to be rain later. The earth was covered in ash and flakes of burnt material hovered in the air, no breeze to be mentioned. Yet the clouds continued to gather in the higher layers of ozone.
A figure slowly ascended from inside the hollow ground. He had dark features and black clothing, that hung from his misshapen shoulders. He took a step, then another. His bare feet didn’t leave a footprint on the ash-covered ground, but the gentle movement of the dark, grubby wings that grew from his back caused the air around them to swirl, and the dust and the burned flakes followed the movement obediently. The figure slowly made his way to a hill, that broke the stable rhythm of otherwise even landscape. He stopped, as he finally reached the highest point and turned his face to the sky above.
The red glow had been breached by a golden ray of light that continued to intensify as another figure slowly materialized from thin air. Where the first figure was dark, this one shined with holy light that enveloped him quite same way his light curls hugged his beautiful face. Languidly, he descended to the ground,
“Asmodeus”, said the angel.
“Raphael”, said the demon.
The two immortal beings observed each other, maybe waiting for a sudden attack that never came.
“It has been quite a while. I haven’t seen you since Israel, as I recollect. I might have been a bit too harsh with you back then, I must give you my apologies”, Raphael announced and tilted his head in consideration.
Asmodeus shrugged and gave a wicked smile. “Haven’t been able to be near fish since then, I tell you. But yeah, I was just having fun with that gal, Sarah. To be denied a wedding night seven times in a row...the girl was absolutely begging for some action. Maybe the poor fellas didn’t really deserve such a cruel faith. But you know, me, a demon. I must fill my infernal boots in a way or another.” There was a contemplative pause. “Although it doesn’t really matter anymore, I guess. Things down there in Hell are quite a bit of a mess right now.”
“I see what you mean”, said the angel. “Things have changed, the war is over, and the earth left empty. It is quite a shame. It really was beautiful down here once. Although in the end they kind of managed to screw things up thoroughly well.”
Both turned to watch over the barren view. The field of Mediggo, as it was, was never really a place to behold but now even the grass and the few stubborn plants that once had covered the area were burnt to ashes. There were wide cracks in the ground and thick smoke ascending from them. The smell of sulphur filled the air. The two figures were alone, there was no one else to be seen.
“Have you been to other places? Is it truly like this everywhere?” asked Asmodeus warily, as if he didn’t really want to know the answer.
“Yes and yes”, answered Raphael”, “There really is nothing left, no souls to tend to.” As the angel spoke, sadness took over his beautiful features. “But this is His will and a new earth shall be built in His honour.”
“A new earth?”, the demon inquired curiously. “And what that one shall be like? A golden city filled with dance, laughter and sing-song for all eternity? Flower-picking and candy eating all day and furious orgies during the night? That last thing I could endure”, he noted. “What about all the humans? Are there any left?”
“They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life”, quoted the angel.
“Well fuck me, that sounds absolutely dreadful”, Asmodeus uttered and made a disgusted face. “No place for a lousy demon like me, it seems. I guess I just have to come up with something else.” He gave Raphael a curious look. “What about you then, mighty archangel Raphael? What shall be your holier-than-thou role in this new loony order?”
Raphael did not answer immediately. He glanced up to the skies, deep in thought. The demon saw his anguish.
“It really was quite a sight, you know. With those trumpets and bowls filled with godly wrath..it all really came together quite theatrically.”, Asmodeus told the stone-faced angel with almost complementary tone in his rusty voice. “You guys really got our people running. The big boss was not happy, not happy at all about how it all turned out in the end. Got a little nasty. Well, the burning sulphur is not exactly a beach holiday, but we are kind of used to it where I come from. Guess we just forgot it for a while.”
The demon shrugged again and joined his quiet companion in silence. It was getting darker, the red glow was almost overcompensated by the blackening clouds. The two figures made no movement, almost like waiting the universe to make its next move. Finally, Raphael opened his mouth and spoke.
“I’m really not sure if I fit into the new order”, he said warily, surprising the demon.
“What do you mean? You are an angel, the mighty Lord’s little pet, a bringer of The Good Word and all that shit. How come you would not fit into the new perfect world of the sky pope and his lamb brisket?”, said Asmodeus and made a repeating sound, that barely could be described as laughter.
Rafael ignored the demon’s casually uttered blasphemy but answered.
“My purpose as an archangel was always to be the messenger and to carry out God’s important plans for mankind. But now, God himself shall join His creations and there won’t be need for a messenger anymore.”
He didn’t seem very reluctant to admit this, Asmodeus noted. As if the archangel had already accepted his lack of purpose. Or maybe he had already found a new one, the demon wondered.
“What about Michael, Gabriel and the rest of the holy postmen? Are they as deep in an existential crisis as you are or are you the only Roquentin moping around right now?”, he inquired.
“The others have joined the higher choirs and are gathered around the heavenly throne.”, the angel stated, “I’m sure there shall be a new place made for them in the new world, whatever that may be. ”
This didn’t seem to make sense to the demon. Why wouldn’t the angel take his place beside the other holy choirs as well? There was something about Raphael, he thought. The holy light emerging from him was as radiant as always, but there was a different kind of hue to it that seemed to grow by the second Asmodeus observed the angel. It made the demon’s eyes water, but he didn’t seem to be able to avert his eyes.
“Why are you here?” he finally asked.
The angel sighed and finally turned to face the demon beside him.
“I guess I could ask you the same thing, demon Asmodeus. The world as we know it has ended and yet here we are, two immortal beings, standing on its ashes on the field of Mediggo, where it all started. There is no going back, the only option is to move forward.”
Asmodeus contemplated these words as he formed his response.
“Well as I said, it is a mess down there in the pits and there are no more souls to be corrupted. I wanted to see if there was anything to be scavenged.”
“There is nothing.”
“I can see that now.”
There was a sudden crack of thunder in the distance. The two immortals did not seem to notice as they studied each other, pondering the next move. Finally, Asmodeus opened his mouth, considering his words carefully.
“It’s a big universe out there, you know. The humans only got a tiny glimpse of it, even with all that technology. And as you haven’t smitten me yet, I could only assume you are not planning to do that in the near future”, he said, trying to sound as casual as a vicious demon only could. “Could use some angelic help, navigating around the infinity.”
Raphael raised a curious eyebrow, but kept his silence.
“Wouldn’t it be gracious, to see what else there is outside occult and ethereal?” the demon continued his inquiry “Those terms don’t seem to matter that much anymore.”
“The rules have indeed changed, for better or worse”, the archangel agreed as he considered the words of his demonic counterpart. There were surely places where even the all-reaching hand of the Lord rarely made a visit.
“It is decided then?” Asmodeus asked. There was determination in Raphael’s eyes as he slowly nodded his agreement. The demon’s mouth spread into a wide grin, the kind that was taught by the devil himself in the deepest pits of Hell. “I won’t promise to be good”, he added.
“And I won’t promise to not be”, answered the angel.
The two figures spread their wings and took flight. At last, there were no more beings left on the quiet earth. And finally, the clouds erupted, as if it had been planned ahead, and let the heavy rain fall on the desolate ground.
The Great Plan of The Almighty God occurred. And the infinite universe kept on expanding.
#angels and demons#angel choirs#raphael#asmodeus#armageddon#apocalypse#story#book of tobit#book of revelation#christianity#mediggo#long post
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JELLY JELLY JELLY.
I love these little glimpses into their past. I need to know all the details of what happened. I hate and love Eddie. I hate and love Steve. I love reader's friendship with Argyle and her relationship with Hop. You just have turned these beautiful characters into your own with this universe yet it feels like the exact people from the show. You write them so true to how they are originally, but with new depth and new stories and I can't wait to keep watching it all unfold 💛
A smile twisting his lips lifts his cheeks, putting dimples on full display as he looks up at you from the darkness below.
Eddie bounces on the trampoline, his sock-covered feet launching him into the air, arms stretched for balance. You toss everything on before climbing on with him. With a final bounce, he lands on his butt beside you, grinning.
That mash game i mentioned? Yeah up to 55 kids. Wait no, 56. And we'll absolutely be getting a trampoline for our shack 💛
The disc spins, and you both listen, the scent of lilacs wafting in on the breeze, and fireflies painting the sky with their gentle glow. Time passes in the slow way it only does for kids on a cool summer night.
"TIME PASSES IN THE SLOW WAY IT ONLY DOES FOR KIDS ON A COOL SUMMER NIGHT."
Excuse me?! Helllooo this makes me sit back in my seat every time I read it and close my eyes. 💛
You: Wrong number
Ha! I snorted. Eddie probably looked at it and rolled his eyes.
“How else am I going to keep spoiling you?” He stands, dropping the towel and picking up the black Tom Ford boxer briefs he set out before his shower.
The world is full of cliches. Many become so ingrained that we accept them as unwavering truths. Every cloud has a silver lining. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Actions speak louder than words. A rotten apple will spoil the bunch. Don’t spit into the wind. Well, that last one is just good advice, but there is one that has stuck with you. Love what you do, and you’ll never work a day in your life. Music is your deity, and working at Stax is where you worship at its altar, spreading the Gospel of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. It’s a place where your lifelong obsession is not only validated, it’s celebrated. Your journey leading up to this point feels like destiny, like the universe conspired to harmonize your two greatest loves—the lyrical power of words and the soul-stirring magic of music. Each day within these walls is a new chord, a different tempo, and you revel in the ever-changing rhythm of your life. One spent intertwined with the music and the people that create it. The magazine's pages are your stage, your canvas, and with every keystroke, you paint the stories of the music, offering them to those who care to listen.
I mean I really truly do not have the words to describe how much I love this passage. I want it typed out and hanging on my wall. It is SO beautiful 💛💛💛💛
Clapping comes from other desks as you chase the discs rolling on their sides in all directions. Pausing, you bend into a dramatic curtsey, earning chuckles as the applause dies out.
This made me fall desperately head over heels in love with reader who is me, but well, you know what I mean. I love her...me...us? 💛💛
He's pulled out your best work, often sending you back to your desk like a pouting child, making you the writer you are today. The wisdom he’s imparted is beyond the reach of any professor or workshop, and for that, you’ll always be grateful.
I told you already, but you're absolutely my Hop 💛
"See, you're no fun,” he complains, sticking out his lower lip, “So you really used to crush on that guy?
Chewing on your lip, you throw him a sideways glance.
“Yeah, you did. You crushed hard,” he laughs, “So, tell me, what happened?”
I love Argyle in this SO much 💛 I feel like you captured his voice perfectly and I'm glad we're seeing him have such a big part in readers life instead of *just* a side character 💛💛💛
His face turns serious as he explains, “It’s like surfing. We all want that wave that’s just out of reach. Especially if someone else is riding it.”
*low and slow whistle* damn.
A sliver of gold from the streetlights outside pierces the tiny gap in the curtains. You’ve been lying on your side staring so long that you can see its warm hue behind closed lids whenever you start to drift. You burrow your arm deeper beneath your pillows while your feet shuffle, searching for a cool spot on the sheets. Steve’s breathing hasn’t changed behind you. He’s having the same trouble falling asleep. He turns over, his weight rocking the mattress. He’s much closer now. You can feel the comforting warmth from his chest, filling the space between him and your back.
You know how I feel about this scene. I just fuuuuccccck. Can feel the tension through your words right here. Feel the emotions of reader just brewing under the surface during the smut.
Torn | Song 2 | Masterlist
Twelve years after Eddie Munson broke your heart for a life on the road with nothing but a mixtape as a goodbye, you finally feel like you have two feet on the ground. Engaged to Steve Harrington with the career of your dreams it feels like you’re going to have your happily ever after, but what happens when the boy that broke your heart comes back as a man with a revelation that changes everything?
TW: Femreader, Love🔺️, Smut, Mentions of DV, 18+ No minors WC:6558 beta'd by @superblysubpar
Plink.
Plink. Plink. Plink.
The old wooden frame of your window groans against the track, burdened with too many layers of paint to make the slide smooth. The swirls of creamy pinks and oranges have faded hours ago into the star-lit summer sky. The boy is below, standing in your backyard, fist full of pea gravel taken from a neighbor's garden. A smile twisting his lips lifts his cheeks, putting dimples on full display as he looks up at you from the darkness below. You raise a finger, signaling for him to wait before you turn away. Tossing a few things in your empty backpack, you take a pillow from your bed, and your comforter is wrestled free from the mattress. With careful footsteps, you creep down the stairs, stopping in the kitchen. The light from the fridge casts a triangle across the floor as you take a few Capri Suns to add to your bag. Leaving through the slider, the end of your blanket trails behind you through the grass that was trimmed that morning. You slip off your flip-flops, leaving them beside a pair of larger, well-worn sneakers with a chain wallet tucked inside the right shoe. Eddie bounces on the trampoline, his sock-covered feet launching him into the air, arms stretched for balance. You toss everything on before climbing on with him. With a final bounce, he lands on his butt beside you, grinning.
“I got it,” you tell him, tossing the pillow behind you.
“Nah-uh.”
"My dad took me to Tower this afternoon." Rummaging in your pack, you pull out a Discman and over-the-ear headphones with the cord in a tangled mess. "I could only get two. I had to choose between Rage," you begin, ticking off album titles on your fingers, “Soundgarden, STP, and Pearl Jam.”
“And?”
Taking out the CDs, you press them against his chest, letting go as soon as his fingers go around them. His brown eyes widen as he examines what’s in his hands as you pick apart the knotted cord.
“Songs from the Vatican Gift Shop AND Down on the Upside? You haven’t even opened this one.” He holds up the Soundgarden CD before using his teeth to rip open the cellophane covering the plastic case.
“I waited for you.” You smile.
His face softens. “You’re a doll.”
He lies back, his head nestling into your pillow, hands clasped behind his head, gazing up at the sky. After putting the CD into the player, you follow him, pulling the comforter over you both and resting your head on his bicep. The headphone speakers are flipped out, tucked between you, as Chris Cornell's melancholic voice begins to seep into your ears, velvety and dark like the night itself.
"Listen to this transition," he insists, his voice filled with the same awe that it always does when he talks about music, "The shift from acoustic to electric guitar is seamless."
“I wish I could hear it the way you do.”
As you gaze skyward, a slender branch sways in perfect rhythm with the chords, green leaves fluttering with the bass. The stars multiply and shimmer as if they’re caught up in the flow of the song.
“You do,” he says, his head turning toward you, “You’re the only one I know who loves it as much as I do.” He studies your face, his eyes locking with yours. The music building until it’s too intense, and he looks away. “It’s lyrics that hook you. You’ve always got so many words floating around in that big brain of yours.”
The disc spins, and you both listen, the scent of lilacs wafting in on the breeze, and fireflies painting the sky with their gentle glow. Time passes in the slow way it only does for kids on a cool summer night.
“Eddie?”
“Hmm?” He answers, eyes closed.
“Are they fighting again?”
He doesn’t talk about it, but everyone knows—an ugly secret festering on an otherwise picture-perfect street. No one wants to get their hands dirty by getting involved.
“Why won’t she leave him?” A simple question in a world of black and white.
“I want her to,” his adams apple bobs as he swallows, “She says she loves him.”
“Just stay here with me tonight, okay?” Rolling to your side, you wrap your hand across his chest, offering him the only protection that you can.
“Yeah, okay.”
When you wake the following morning, the songs and memories you were reacquainted with last night have faded to a dull throb–much like the martinis. But remnants of their lyrics persist, crawling under your skin, irritating like an itch, a tune hummed without the words to accompany it. Your phone’s screen lights up with an incoming text, the short burst of vibration sending it skittering across the surface of your nightstand. It takes a moment for your bleary eyes to focus on the notification on your lock screen.
Unknown: I admit last night could have gone better. Let me make it up to you. Coffee?
After tapping in your passcode, you open the message app to reply.
You: Wrong number
Darkening your screen, you let your phone slip from your hand onto the bed beside you. With a sigh, you lean back, staring at the ceiling, seeking answers that remain elusive. The scent of brewing dark roast and toasting bagels rises up the stairs with the sounds of Steve moving around the kitchen. A cup of coffee (or five) and a shower is what you need to wash away the past and leave it firmly where it belongs– in your rearview.
It's the bottom of your second cup when Steve into your massive walk-in closet with a towel wrapped around his waist, fresh from the shower, his hair still damp, the freckled skin of his chest looking golden in the soft glow of the elegant pendant lights.
“Is that what you're wearing to work?” He asks.
“Um, yeah.” You finish buckling the strap of your chunky mary-janes. “Something wrong with it?” you ask, catching sight of yourself in the mirror, dark distressed jeans and a band tee recut into a fitted v-neck.
“Of course not,” he sighs, running his hand through his hair before sitting down heavily on the leather bench. His shoulders slump as he looks across to the cherry built-in shelves holding the rows of tailored suits hung by progression of color. “You always look beautiful.”
Taking your watch from the marble top of the large center island, you wander over to where he’s seated. He hooks a finger into one of the large holes in your jeans, tugging you over to stand between his legs, his big hands wrapping around the backs of your thighs.
“Guess I’m just missing the days of wearing jeans and a jersey to work,” he says, his smile not smoothing the faint crease in his brows.
“You traded that in for a car service and a big fat paycheck,” you point out, kissing the top of his head and moving back to your side of the closet to select a blazer.
“How else am I going to keep spoiling you?” He stands, dropping the towel and picking up the black Tom Ford boxer briefs he set out before his shower.
“Steve, I don’t need all of this,” your hand sweeps in the air, gesturing to the lit shelves holding more clothes and shoes than you could ever need. “Just take me to a concert every once in a while.” Your voice trails off as notification chimes on your phone.
Unknown: Nice try, doll. Robin gave me your number.
“Can you imagine if we were still in that cramped apartment in Lincoln Park?” He scoffs, pulling on a light gray pair of suit pants. “We were tripping over all our stuff.”
Steve found the three-bedroom, three-bath brownstone on a tree-lined street in the ritzy Gold Coast neighborhood just after he got promoted from Metro, marking the beginning of his rise up the ranks in Second City Media. He spent a year and a chunk of his trust fund on a meticulous renovation before the two of you moved in. It is beautiful—large air rooms with lofty ceilings adorned with pristine white crown molding and wainscotting throughout, giving a modern but classic feel. Living with so much space is lavish in a city of this size. But you would be just as happy back on that ratty couch in Lincoln Park, drinking beer straight from the bottle and eating pizza without the fuss of plates, working on your laptop while he watched a Cubs game. Steve is driven–determined to be a success, and he is, but with the money came the stress. And it’s taking a toll.
Your finger hovers over the block button, but you press add to contacts instead. “Hey,” you change the subject, slipping your phone into your jacket pocket, “Did you ever look into that sailing charter you wanted to book out at the lake? We could do that this weekend?”
“I wish I could, Ace. I’ve got those weekend meetings about the streaming radio we're trying to launch. Pick out a tie for me?” He asks, pulling off a starched black button-up from its hanger.
“Sure.” You walk over and spin the rack holding up dozens of ties on shiny brass hooks.
“What do you have going on today?” The well-defined muscles of his sculpted shoulders, earned from never skipping a day at the gym, flex before disappearing into his shirt sleeves.
“Not a lot.” You pull the silky slip of deep maroon fabric off its hanger. “Lola is put to bed for this year. I just have an album review to finish up and a meeting with my editor today. Maybe a series on the Fall tours?” You propose, mostly to yourself, as you bring him his tie.
“Maroon, huh?” One brow raises with the question, “I would have picked black.”
“I know.” The corner of your lips turn up in a sly smile before you rise to your toes and place a kiss on his mouth, “I’m gonna go.”
“You want my driver to drop you off?” He asks, looking in the mirror and adjusting his tie.
“Nah, I’ll drive myself. Argyle and I are going to the Subterranean for drinks. Santigold is performing. Do you want to come?” You throw out, picking up your ancient army green messenger bag you can’t bear to part with, straining with the fullness of your laptop and notes.
“I’ll pass. Not really my scene.” As he fastens his gold cufflinks, they catch the gleaming light.
“You never come to shows with me,” you sigh.
“I know, I know. I’ll try and catch the next one,” he says, sliding his feet into shiny Italian leather shoes. “I’m meeting Robin for lunch. You want to join us?”
“No. I’ll let you have your girl time.” You blow him a kiss before heading out the door.
“See you tonight, okay?”
“Love you. See you tonight,” he calls after you.
Passing through rooms decorated with rich creams and calming moss greens, you yell over your shoulder, “Tell Robin I said we don’t have any more room for paintings of flowers that look like vaginas.”
“They’re a good investment,” his voice fades as you jog down your stairs, grabbing your keys from the stained-glass bowl on the table beside the door, ignoring the buzz coming from your pocket.
The world is full of cliches. Many become so ingrained that we accept them as unwavering truths. Every cloud has a silver lining. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Actions speak louder than words. A rotten apple will spoil the bunch. Don’t spit into the wind. Well, that last one is just good advice, but there is one that has stuck with you. Love what you do, and you’ll never work a day in your life. Music is your deity, and working at Stax is where you worship at its altar, spreading the Gospel of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. It’s a place where your lifelong obsession is not only validated, it’s celebrated. Your journey leading up to this point feels like destiny, like the universe conspired to harmonize your two greatest loves—the lyrical power of words and the soul-stirring magic of music. Each day within these walls is a new chord, a different tempo, and you revel in the ever-changing rhythm of your life. One spent intertwined with the music and the people that create it. The magazine's pages are your stage, your canvas, and with every keystroke, you paint the stories of the music, offering them to those who care to listen.
Without taking your eyes off your laptop screen, you reach for your coffee mug only to knock over the tittering tower of CDs that you had stacked on the corner of your cluttered desk. The plastic jewel cases meet the cement floor with a shattering crash, the noise echoing off the walls of the open industrial space that houses the offices for Stax Magazine in the heart of Fulton Market District. Clapping comes from other desks as you chase the discs rolling on their sides in all directions. Pausing, you bend into a dramatic curtsey, earning chuckles as the applause dies out. The perpetual chaos of your desk has become an ongoing punchline in the office banter. Your phone begins to ring at the same time an IM pops on your screen - both from your editor, the enigmatic J. Hopper.
“Art Garfunkel’s house of pizza,” you say by way of greeting, trying to get the CDs back in their cases and toppling a pile of mail in the process.
“Where are you? Why aren’t you here? We had a meeting at 2,” comes the gruff voice of a man who's clearly not amused.
“It’s only one forty,” you reply.
“Get your ass in here now,” he yells, disconnecting.
Hopper's bark has always been more bluster than bite. The towering, older man has been a fixture in this building since its days as a "hard-hitting" newspaper. While the city has evolved and transformed, Hopper and this old brick building have remained resolute, like an immovable rock in the ever-shifting stream of time. He possesses zero patience, holds a disdain for people, and dismisses any music created after 1978. You love him as much as your own father. He offered you a position fresh out of college when other magazines wouldn’t take a chance. He's pulled out your best work, often sending you back to your desk like a pouting child, making you the writer you are today. The wisdom he’s imparted is beyond the reach of any professor or workshop, and for that, you’ll always be grateful.
With a gentle rap of your knuckles against the frosted glass, you step into Hopper's office. He's seated behind a substantial oak desk, buried beneath a mountain of paperwork. A hint of cigar lingers in the air, though you've never been able to catch him smoking. He remains engrossed, squinting at his desktop screen with a furrowed brow. Settling into one of the vintage leather club chairs, you wait for his acknowledgment, your gaze drifting across the framed magazine covers and photographs lining the walls. One of a much younger Hopper clad in a tattered flak jacket catches your eyes. His face smeared with dirt and grit, standing amidst the ruins of a war-torn Kosovo street, a city reduced to chaos.
"Where’s my album write-up?" He asks without looking up.
"I emailed it to you before lunch," you reply, confirming on your phone.
He pushes back from his desk, propping up his feet on the edge, and offers you a soft smile from under the bushy mustache covering his lip, "How are you, kid? Everything okay? Harrington treating you, right?"
"Of course, Hop. He knows he'd have to answer to you otherwise. What about you?" You ask, leaning forward, "Is Joyce looking after you? Making sure you're watching that cholesterol?"
"Yup, she's got me eating all these organic vegetables, no booze, no smokes. Kinda takes all the fun outta life." He laces his hands behind his head, stretching out his back.
"Oh yeah, does that include that bottle hootch you got stowed in your bottom drawer?"
He sits up with a quick move, pointing his finger in your direction. "You don't know anything about that. Are we clear?"
The only one who can scare Hopper is Hopper's wife.
"I don't know. What are you going to do if I give Joyce a call? Seems to me that's something she'd want to know," you tease, crossing your arms over your chest.
"You'd be out on that sidewalk before you hung up the call. Don't test me." He shakes a finger at you, "Now, what are you pitching me?"
"Well, I'm going to a club tonight, so I'll have a live performance review. And I was thinking of a piece on the bands touring this Fall. Kind of like a road map that the readership could follow and hit all the good shows."
"Those sound good, kid, but I got a feature for you to cover." He leans forward, narrowing his eyes, "You know this Eddie Munson character?"
The blood drains from your face. "No. Not-not really," you stammer, "we're from the same town, but I haven't seen him in years."
"Well, it's time to get reacquainted. I want a series chronicling the opening of CursedSound Recordings, and I want you to write it."
A featured series is something that other journalists fight over, and usually, you'd jump at the chance, but not this time. Not this series. Not Eddie Muson.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you say, looking down at your lap.
“You don’t think–”
“Give it to Miles.”
“I’m giving it to you. Morales is busy with–”
“I don’t want it,” the words burst out of your mouth before you think better of it. Less than twenty-four hours after seeing Eddie, your world is spinning out of control.
Hopper's face turns to steel as he plucks the pen from behind his ear and throws it down on the desk. “I think that you’ve forgotten how this works. I give you an assignment. You write it.”
Your lips part before the protest in your brain is fully formed.
“If you’re about to tell me no again, it better be followed by a damn good reason.”
His eyes are locked on yours while he waits for a response, one brow raised in challenge.
“Listen, kid,” he picks up a stack of papers, shuffling through them as he talks, “I’ve looked into this Munson character. He has a good reputation in L.A. His name is in the credits for over half the multi-platinum releases in the last five years. And word is, his studio is booked out with big names for a year in advance.” He pauses for a moment to be sure his words sink in. “Establishing a good relationship with him is in the magazine's best interests. And what's good for the magazine is good for you. Are you hearing me?”
“Yes, Hop,” he answers for you when you remain quiet.
“Yes, Hop,” you repeat.
“Good,” he says, lacing his fingers together. "The printed word isn’t worth what it used to be. Everything's gone digital, the never-ending twenty-four-hour news cycle. The competition's cut-throat out there. Trust me, our friends over at Spectrum would eat this up for Chicago Lifestyles. Frankly, I’m surprised at you. I thought you’d be all over this. Especially since it was proposed by corporate. I figured you went around me and pitched it to Harrington directly.”
The mention of Steve’s name sets your teeth on edge. He hadn't breathed a word about this assignment earlier, and now he's reaching out to Hopper, painting a picture as if you're disrespecting your editor and exploiting your personal connections to secure a story.
“I would never do that,” you shake your head.
"Alright then. Call Byers at Metro," Hopper instructs, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest. "Bring him with you. His assignment is just wrapping up."
You nod, your blood boiling and your mind racing. Taking a deep breath to compose yourself, you finally reply with an outward calm, "Okay."
Hopper's eyes remained fixed on you, his brow furrowing slightly. "Now, why are you still here wasting my time? Get out."
You don’t need any more prompting. Swiftly, you rise from your seat and make your way out of Hopper's office, formulating plans to murder your fiancé.
With a heavy sigh, you sit back down at your desk. The Stax logo bounces off the edges of your laptop screen. Your phone lights up with a photo of Steve. You let it ring a few times before sending it to voicemail. A few colleagues linger nearby, mugs in hand, their idle chatter blending with the hum of printers and the rhythmic clacking of keyboards. Your to-do list sits on your desk with strike-throughs on only half the tasks, but the priority of the ones remaining isn’t enough to capture your attention.
Reaching down, you tug at the handle of your tightly packed bottom desk drawer. It sticks, protesting the overload. The bright yellow color of the Sony Sports Walkman stands out from among the other clutter. You hesitate when reaching for it, the beginnings of the ache already tightening your chest. But you can’t resist, your hand closes around it, pulling it and the headphones coiled around out from under a pile of old concert passes attached to lanyards.
Swiveling your chair away from the desk, you face the windows and slip the headphones onto your ears. A gentle press of your thumb produces a satisfying click, and a soft crackling sound fills your ears as the capstans start to whir.
The crystal blue of the cassette is dulled behind the transparent black window, but you can still make out the handwriting on the yellowed label.
For when you miss me.
“Did you ever listen?”
Everyday.
A bird's eye view of the stage is perfectly spaced in your viewfinder, with Santi downstage dominating the mic, her other arm outstretched to the fervent crowd. Your finger clicks the shutter as a text pops on the screen.
Eddie: Seems this city isn’t so big after all.
With a huff, you close the screen, pocketing your phone.
“What’s going on with you?” Argyle shouts over the crowd, handing you back your drink as you both lean over the black-painted railing on the balcony at The Subterranean.
"Nothing," you reply, your gaze returning to the stage where Santigold is Chasing Shadows.
“You’re moody,” he accuses, leaning closer to your ear to be heard over music.
“No, I’m not.”
“It’s true,” he shakes his head. “You’re moody. Moody dick.”
The corners of your lips lift as you roll your eyes.
“This wouldn't have anything to do with mister dark and handsome sound engineer guy from last night, would it?” He probes as someone bumps into you from behind, throwing you off balance.
Your eyes narrow as he steadies you with a hand on your elbow.
“Hey, I know things,” he says, sipping his drink and looking back out over the crowd.
“Oh, yeah?” You ask, turning and leaning on the banister to face him, “What do you know?”
He turns his head toward you, his thoughtful brown eyes connecting with yours. “I know you looked freaked the fuck out when he showed up for drinks and even more so when he said he was staying. And I’ve seen you tell off enough people to know that’s what was going on at the bar when you walked away from him last night,” he says, looking back toward the stage, gesturing with his hands, “Now we're here, with my future baby mama killing it on stage, and you’re sucking all the energy out of the room.”
The song ends with the crowd erupting in applause. “I love you!” Argyle shouts toward the stage with his hands cupped around his mouth as the bass starts back up with the opening of High Priestess. Santi looks up, throwing him a wink, her voice low and fast as the reverb vibrates under your feet.
“Future baby mama?” You laugh.
“Yeah. Do you think you could use your press pass to get us backstage?”
“No. I don’t think you need to add to the population tonight.”
"See, you're no fun,” he complains, sticking out his lower lip, “So you really used to crush on that guy?
Chewing on your lip, you throw him a sideways glance.
“Yeah, you did. You crushed hard,” he laughs, “So, tell me, what happened?”
“I don’t like talking about it,” you say, scrubbing your face.
“Keeping everything all bottled up ain’t good for you, little mama,” he pokes your arm, letting you know he’s not going to drop this, “I’m your boy. If you can’t tell me, who can you tell?”
“Circle of trust,” he says, stirring the air between you with two fingers when you don’t respond.
You lean against the rail, considering. “Alright, but this stays between us,” you threaten him with a pointed finger. His head nods as his fingers slide across his mouth like a zipper.
“There’s not much to tell,” you say, looking down at the sticky floor. “I had a crush, and he didn’t feel the same way.”
“I get it. The fury of a woman scorned. What did you do, go full bunny boiler?”
“No,” you chuckle, “Nothing like that. That part didn’t even really bother me. He was my best friend, my only friend for a long time. I thought there was something between us, that he cared about me. Maybe not the same way I cared about him, but you know, I thought we were close. I must have built it all up in my head because one day, he just takes off.” You swallow the sharp pain pressing into your chest, “He never even said goodbye.”
“Nooo,” Argyle’s eyes widen.
“It broke me,” you admit.
“Harsh,” he agrees, “And he never called you? Or gave you an explanation?”
“Not until yesterday. He asked me to lunch. You know, he actually had the nerve to say that Steve has me on a tight leash.”
“Typical.” He shakes his head, swallowing the last of his drink.
“What do you mean?” You ask, swirling the last of your ice into your watered-down drink.
His face turns serious as he explains, “It’s like surfing. We all want that wave that’s just out of reach. Especially if someone else is riding it.”
“How did you get so wise?” You ask.
“I don’t know. Must be all the weed,” he says with a hand on your shoulder, turning you toward the bar. “Let’s go get another drink.”
“You never told Steve any of this?” He asks as you join the crowd of people that constitutes the line.
“No,” you sigh.
“No?” He repeats in surprise, “This is bad news, man. Why wouldn’t you tell him? What are you going to do, just going to keep it a secret forever?”
“I guess. It doesn’t really have anything to do with him.”
“This is going to get messy.” He shakes his head as you move up in line.
“Well, I’m not real happy with him either right now. He went behind my back to Hopper, deciding that I’m going to cover Eddie’s recording studio's opening. He completely humiliated me in front of my boss. I look totally unprofessional.”
“Well, that's not cool,” Argyle sympathizes as he takes the plastic cup from your hand and tosses it into a trashcan tucked beside the bar.
“No, it was very not cool,” you agree, crossing your arms over your chest.
"Wait," he looks at you with sudden revelation, “Technically, isn't Steve your boss?"
“That’s not the point–”
“And isn’t your job to write about major happenings in the city, like when fancy L.A. sound guys open up studios?”
“You're not helping, Argyle.”
His hand lands on your head, offering a comforting pat like you're a child before the line begins moving again. "Cheer up, Bernstein," he quips with a grin, "I'll buy the next round."
Your anger hasn’t abated when you walk through the front door of the brownstone. Steve is already in bed, shirtless with the taupe velvet coverlet pulled up to his waist, glasses perched on his nose, not looking up from his laptop as you enter the room.
“Hey, Ace, how was your day? Did you write me–”
“Anything you want to tell me about, Steve?” You ask, your voice already coming out more heated than you intended.
He looks up at you, brows pulling together. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” you say, dropping your bag onto the blue slipper chair in the corner of the room, “Maybe about how you went behind my back?”
"What?” He questions, slamming his laptop shut.
“The story, Steve,” you huff, leaving the room through your closet. You’ve just put your shoes away when he appears in the doorway, padding across the carpet in his bare feet, wearing just his boxers.
“Munson’s opening, that’s what you’re mad about?” He demands.
“You totally blindsided me,” you complain, pulling a hanger off the rod and hanging up your blazer with enough force to have the other clothes swinging. “Why didn’t you say anything this morning?”
“Because I hadn’t thought of it this morning.” His hands run through his hair, tugging in frustration.
“So what, it just came to you in a flash of brilliance?” Popping the button on your jeans, you tug them down your hips, kicking them into the corner instead of putting them in the basket.
“No, it didn’t, and I hate it when you’re sarcastic. Robin wanted to stop by and see his studio. We had lunch nearby,” he informs you, crossing his arms over his broad chest, the gold chain he wears glinting in the low light.
“So the two of you just decided what I was going to be writing? Maybe that’s something you should be discussing with me.” You lay a hand on your chest before pulling your shirt over your head and giving it the same treatment as your jeans. “You know, your fiancée, not some old buddy that sold you weed a few times back in Hawkins.”
“The content Stax puts out is directly under my approval, just like Metro and the Newsdesk and every other division.” His voice, which has been steady and even until now, begins to rise, “I’m not going to call you and ask for permission every time I make a decision. Eddie and I have kept in touch. How do you think we landed that interview with Radiohead last year when they wouldn’t even sit down with Rolling Stone?”
“That’s another thing you kept from me. I had no idea Eddie was your best friend.” Your eyes narrow as your fingers yank at the delicate clasps of your jewelry and watch.
Steve's eyes roll in frustration as he shakes his head. "He's not my best friend. He’s a business contact. I know him through Robin. They were is band together, you know this."
"That feels like a lifetime ago, Steve," you remark, the clinking of your jewelry against the marble island adding a discordant scrape.
"Well, some people aren't embarrassed about where they came from," he accuses.
"I'm not embarrassed," you scoff and begin to pace as if you can outrun his words.
"Oh, please," he says, taking a seat on the bench, his knuckles turning white as he grips the edge, his gaze tracking your restless movements. "You cut off anybody we still know living there. You won't even go to visit your parents. They always come here."
“You never listen to what I’m saying. This has nothing to do with Hawkins or my parents.” You halt your steps, your hand slices through the air, punctuating your statements. “It's about you making me look like a fool in front of Hopper. Like I’m trying to go around him to corporate to get assigned the big stories. Like I’m sleeping with the boss. I’m not ruining my reputation so you can give free advertising to your friends.”
“You're being crazy right now,” he yells, wincing with regret as soon as the words leave his mouth. He stands, moving closer, making an effort to control the tone of his voice, “I gave you this assignment because you know Eddie, and it will make for a better story, not because I’m fucking you. We’ve been together since the day you started at Stax. We’ve been engaged for two years. If anyone was going to think that, they already would’ve.”
Your head shakes, rejecting his rationale. He throws up his hands in frustration. “I can't have a conversation with you when you’re like this.” He starts to walk back toward the bedroom but stops abruptly, spinning on his heel and pointing his finger in your direction. “But I'll tell you one more thing—you are going to write this story.” He waves a hand toward the bathroom. “Now, go wash your face.”
Your teeth cut into your bottom lip as you walk into the bathroom, slamming the door behind you.
A sliver of gold from the streetlights outside pierces the tiny gap in the curtains. You’ve been lying on your side staring so long that you can see its warm hue behind closed lids whenever you start to drift. You burrow your arm deeper beneath your pillows while your feet shuffle, searching for a cool spot on the sheets. Steve’s breathing hasn’t changed behind you. He’s having the same trouble falling asleep. He turns over, his weight rocking the mattress. He’s much closer now. You can feel the comforting warmth from his chest, filling the space between him and your back.
“Baby.” His breath caresses the spot just behind your ear before the wet press of his lips traces a path along your neck, latching on to the apex when it meets your shoulder. A gentle bite follows the swirl of his tongue as he moves even closer. The rough pads of his fingers glide over your shoulder and down your arm, coaxing the thin strap of your tank with them.
“Please,” he whispers between kisses, his fingers finding their way under the bottom edge of your tank top, the light scrape of his blunt nails against your ribs sending shivers across your skin. Your breathing is picking up, the fire from your argument morphing into a new kind of heat. His hips flex against your ass, his cock hard and ready. When you turn your head, his lips are there, a wet slide over your mouth until they pull back, floating just above you, lingering with a question. And when his hand cups your shoulder, urging your body to turn towards him-–you answer.
The sultry feminine voice drifts from the speakers in your bedroom, her smoky timber weaving through the air like dark tendrils intertwining with the high piano notes. Your hips rise with the flow, a slow, unchanging cadence, the stretch of his cock creating delicious friction against your velvet walls. You move higher until he almost leaves you before you start your descent, the angle finding all the hidden places that light you up beneath your skin.
"M' sorry," he murmurs.
Your eyes flutter open at his words as they carry you away from the depths.
"Hate telling you no." He gazes up at you with heavy-lidded eyes, his hair pushed back from his face, and a flush across his skin.
"I don't wanna talk about it." Your hands cover the ones wrapped around your thighs, guiding them up your body. His warm, rough fingers are eager to map out every contour. Your head falls back when they find their destination, cupping your breasts with a possessive grip.
The song shifts, the new baseline a drawn-out pulse lining up with your movements. The lyrics are raw and a little filthy, fueling the urgency of your rolling hips, your clit grazing the short hairs at his base.
"Don't like telling you what to do," he mumbles even as his hands drop to your hips, attempting to hold you still as he bucks up from underneath. "Just wanna take care of you."
"Steve," his name passes your lips in a low moan as you lean forward, taking his hand from your hips and pressing them into the pillow, "Stop talking."
Sitting up, you shift your position, leaning back, bracing your hands behind yourself on his hairy thighs. You set a new pace, bouncing harder, driving him deeper, taking what you want.
“Jesus, fuck, baby,” he groans, eyes hitting the back of his head while his hands slide across the sheets seeking any purchase as you ride him. The music surges, its tempo rising in perfect sync with the wet intimate sounds of your bodies coming together, the rhythm repeating over and over.
"So close…please," his fingers slip between you, adding pressure to the sensitive bundle of nerves that he finds there, "Need you to cum."
"No," you rasp out breathless, pushing his hand aside, your eyes locked on his as you bring your own fingers to your mouth. With a swirl of your tongue, you coat them with wetness before sliding them down to touch yourself, controlling your own pleasure.
The muscles in his neck strain with effort, his gaze darkening, fixated on you. “Goddam, so sexy like this,” he murmurs.
Your body tightens, taut like a bow-string, the tension building until the crescendo crashes over you. The music washes over your senses as you reach your peak, your legs trembling with the intensity. You push your body further over the edge, succumbing to the euphoria lost in the wave of sensations.
Floating back down, your eyes open to the sight of your ceiling, your body still arched, catching your breath. His fingers tighten on your ribs, reminding you he's there. Sticky wetness dripping between you is evidence that he reached his own climax. His hands gently urge your forward to collapse into his chest.
"Wow, that was…" He strokes the sweat-slicked skin of your back. "I’ve never seen you like that before. What got into you?"
"I think you did," you say, placing a kiss over his heart as your fingers smooth through the hair covering his chest. He chuckles, holding you closer.
The gentle croon of the music fills the quiet space between you as you lie entwined, drawing closer to sleep's embrace. With a fumbling hand, Steve reaches for the remote on his nightstand, silencing the stereo, returning the room to a restful hush. He places a final tender kiss on your temple, his eyes closing as his features turn peaceful. But for you, even in this stillness, another song lingers in your mind, its lyrics echoing like a secret.
For updates follow @tornupdates & turn on the notifications
AN: Thank you for reading and rebloging. Your comments are what keep me at my keyboard plugging away at this story. Please keep sending me your songs and asks! They have inspired so much of what's to come. xoxo- Jelly
#jelly does it again#her smut and angst make me wanna smoke and drink at the same time#eddie munson series#torn series
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Street Fighter 6: Unleashin' the Combat Mastery on the Streets
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The Dust Collectors Debut Album "Outside In" A Visceral Alt-Country Classic Enter the world of "Outside In," the pulsating debut album from Canadian-based band The Dust Collectors. Drawing upon the diverse worlds of alt-country, folk rock, and classic Americana, this four-piece ensemble brings forth an air of nostalgic wonder, peppered with a contemporary flair that keeps their fans on their toes. From soul-stirring strings to toe-tapping rhythms, The Dust Collectors expertly mix country and rock influences to create a truly unshakable impact. https://open.spotify.com/album/4jUTbkrtHGrVObCVUHpJp4 Fronted by emotionally charged male vocals that hark back to a classic era of country-rock legends, songs like "Shoulder Season" showcase the sheer uniqueness of this group's sound. Listeners are drawn into a whirling sensibility tinged with the timeless grit present in their tracks. The album's high-energy, rhythmic vibe perfectly complements the emotionally raw storytelling woven into each song. "Outside In" is a generous offering, featuring 14 captivating tracks, each presenting their spin on tried-and-true themes and styles. Dark undertones permeate the aptly named "Murder, I Wrote," an outlaw ballad that transports listeners to the seedy underbelly of the Wild West. Contrasting is the sea-shanty-inspired "Take A Dive," daring and experimental, a journey through melody and reflective introspection. “Light of the Flame”: A Journey Through John Tibbits’ Indie Folk EP The heavier rock stylings of "Waiting Game" and "Bullshit & Lies" convey an assertive and bold energy, highlighting the versatility of The Dust Collectors’ sound. This dexterity is further conveyed in traditional country confessionals like "Flush & Plumb," “Old No. 9 Train,” and "Bad Talk" – showcasing both their respect for the genre's roots and their willingness to traverse its many facets. The album’s production is impeccable, allowing each instrument to shine without overpowering its brothers in arms, while the lyrics evoke vivid tales of love, loss, and redemption. With such a rich and varied sonic palette, The Dust Collectors can evoke images of Wilco and The Avett Brothers but possess an inimitable identity all their own. Ultimately, "Outside In" is a testament to The Dust Collectors’ undeniable chemistry, which solidifies their place as a band with a bright future in the alt-country scene. A captivating first foray into the depths of the genre spectrum, the album successfully embodies the essence of past and present, ensuring it remains an enduring staple in alt-country collections for years to come. So, as you sit back and immerse yourself in the story woven through the soundscape of "Outside In," allow The Dust Collectors to reconnect you with the heart of country-rock, carved with finesse and passion. This is one dusty ride you won't want to miss. Follow the band on Website, Facebook and Instagram
#Music#christheblogger#OutsideIn#OutsideInbyTheDustCollectors#OutsideInfromTheDustCollectors#OutsideInTheDustCollectors#TheDustCollectors#TheDustCollectorsDebutAlbumOutsideInAVisceralAltCountryClassic#TheDustCollectorsDebutwithaVisceralAltCountryClassic#TheDustCollectorsoutwithOutsideIn#TheDustCollectorsOutsideIn#TheDustCollectorsreleasesOutsideIn
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Final Song Tips
I just beat the final song today after about a week of daily practice, so I wanted to share a few of the visual and audio cues I used to help! It was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done in any game (I’m also not musically talented) but it’s possible!! i noticed I had a few problem spots and came up with tricks to get me through them, after which its just a matter of practice and everything going right for the full 7 minutes, you’ll find the beginning parts easy by the end
General tips
Use L1 and R1, going back and forth for combos, but stick to just one for super fast parts in One/the final segment
Listen to the song with the chimes included when you’re not playing and try to tap along
Watch a sync video simply to learn how many rings are in some of the longer combos, and when you’re supposed to hit them
Just keep practicing, I’d get a little farther each day, and its all about learning the feel of the song so you can more frequently get to the later parts and eventually beat it
Don’t get discouraged, it’s stupid hard and takes time, and even once you’re getting pretty good at early parts you might still make dumb mistakes! Tonight I died a few times on Two even though I had mostly gotten my trick down, and even once on Three even though she was easy for me by now! But I still ended up doing it tonight!
Specific tips
Zero, Five, and Four are pretty straightforward, just hit the button when the ring reaches Mikhail, it still might take a bit to get consistent, but will be a cakewalk by the end
For Three’s blind double note, start hitting it after she tilts her head
For Three’s final note, hit it as her hand moves down to its final position
For Two’s 4 note combo with the zoomed camera, say “one mississippi” to yourself as soon as the barrier from the previous note disappears, then start the combo. Don’t be too slow with the last note. This is one of the trickiest parts imo
For One’s 4 note combo after the two blind notes, use the back of Two’s head as a guidepost, hit them as the rings reach past her head
For One’s final 5 notes, start hitting them as soon as the camera starts to pan up
For the 8 note combos in the final part, count to yourself as you hit each note, don’t be too fast
For the two groups of double notes where the camera zoom in on Zero, hit the first set right after she has sung the next two
The notes after the next 8 combo are double notes!
For the four steady notes after these, start hitting them as soon as the last one is sung, and as soon as the camera starts to move away from Mikhail
For the 7 note combo, start it as Three is on the edge of the screen, hit the first 6 like you would the 8 note combos, but the last note is delayed, I had a tendency to hit it too fast, so make sure you give it the delay! (this is another especially tricky part imo)
Start hitting the final 8 note combo as soon as the camera starts to pan up
You will probably be hyped up on adrenaline at this point, be very careful with the next two notes, don’t hit them too fast, its a relatively easy rhythm to match so mostly go by sound, but the rings will reach past Four/Five’s heads for these two and the next two
The second to last note is fully blind, you hit it along with that strumming noise before the words “aru mama” in the song, if you wait to actually hear it though you might be too late (that’s how I screwed up the first time), so just know how the song goes and hit it right then
The final note- DON’T wait until “I had a lot of fun” actually shows up on screen, that’s how I screwed up the first time, what worked for me was saying “one miss” after Zero says “Nanda” (I was using JP voices, should work with “yeah” as well?), then hitting the note... since its about when Mikhail starts to speak again but I think actually waiting to hear it made me too slow
In the end its mostly about practicing a whole bunch because its so damn hard and doesn’t play fair, but it’s fully possible! Good luck everyone!!
#Drakengard 3#final song#truly the dark souls of rhythm games#haha just kidding dark souls is WAY easier than this#this is coming from someone that has beaten all bosses in all 3... at least those are FAIR#drakengard#dod3#branch D
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He does not speak at first, though a slight raise of the Darkling's eyebrow as his gaze turns towards the other in... interest, perhaps? Intrigue? Aleksander knows that, at the very least, he is not like the others behind those doors.
The conversation here does not grate on him. The mask is one he can allow to slip away (even if only a little), for he does not dare risk its obliteration completely. At least, not yet. Not until every piece on the board is where it should be, not until he is absolutely ready to make that final chess move in this game.
A shake of his head, a scoff accompanying it as his fingers tap out a meaningless little rhythm on the stone railing. The shadows call to him, and he wants to cover this entire palace in the darkness. Blanket it so completely, so utterly, that everything within these golden walls just dies. Suffocates--
It is not like anyone inside deserves to live. Not in the Grand Palace.
And his Grisha are safe, across the courtyard, by the lakeside.
He will not harm them, if he is to act... if every single soul inside those walls suddenly dropped dead--
❝ Do you actually seek an answer to something you likely already know? ❞ Muttered words, quiet words, with his tone tinged almost with... disgust. Disappointment, perhaps, in what Ravka has been left to deal with, left to suffer with, to limp by and try and survive the leadership of humanity's most worthless, most idiotic--
❝ There is a not a single decent one among them that would pause for a moment. I could tear this entire thing down into rubble, and only when they all fell to Death's embrace would it truly register that the party had ended. ❞
"Only one man," he mused, a smile dancing on his lips. "History has been rewritten by a singular man at times. The right one... who decided to act. Those who don't?" He shrugged nonchalantly. "I suppose they get forgotten, don't they?" It's not quite a dare, but the gleam in his eyes was certainly a question. One that barely lasted a moment... after all, well, one should not be talking about treason openly, should they? "Ah," he said with a grin, raising a finger as if he'd caught the other in a rabbit trap. "I didn't say bother, only that you care. Reputation and rumour... well, that does tend to keep a man... or push him into ending up in front of a firing squad, hm? Being Grisha doesn't free you from the binds of society that you so readily accuse me of abiding," he remarked. It was a rather technical point, but well, he would hardly give up an argument that easily. But altogether, there was no real insult behind the jab. His hand grasping a glass of champagne dangled past the stone barrier. He looked out; down: he desired to drop the glass. A crash, a noise, something. "Of what else you have said... we are in agreement." A bitter chuckle slipped his lips, meant for the night air rather than his companion. "Do you think they'd hear the crash of glass with all of the grating laughter and nauseating music?" He asked, still looking out. "A scream? A gunshot? Or would they not even care to stop their drinking and come see?"
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Wolfie darling.... Doctor Geralt and mayhaps a girl he knocked up or something, but they keep making eyes at each other, and jaskier turn up alone one day (yes this is literally the summary you gave before but i crave it so i will send it becasue aahh) and there is such tension but Geralt doesn't want to break up Jaskiers presumed relationship, and Geralt is their doctor, and Jaskier is technically not the patient so they end up baning against the wall, please and than you! <333
Me: I will keep prompts short.
Also me: Here have 1.6k
This is based off the song 'Bad Idea' from Waitress
CW: pregnancy, cheating (geraskier both have partners), sexual content but not explicit.
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Bad Idea
Jaskier wiggled in his seat as he sat next to Priscilla in the waiting room. She was six months pregnant with his child after a one night stand that had gone wrong, and because he was a good guy they’d decided to give a relationship a go. His mother had been pressuring him to propose to Pris every time they spoke, which would have been a grand idea if they were in any way suited to each other. But they weren’t. Pris wasn’t even sure she wanted the kid but it was too late to turn back and Jaskier certainly wasn’t ready to be a father.
If he were being completely honest with himself then he’d admit that the only reason he even came to these appointments was because of the very hot Doctor Rivia.
Jaskier always found a way to stay after the appointment, which really had started out innocently but ended up with Jaskier being pressed against the wall, Geralt’s lips crashing into his.
One kiss.
That’s all it was.
And Geralt had practically thrown him out the room after. It was obviously a mistake that wouldn’t be repeated, so why was he so nervous? His leg bounced and he couldn’t sit still, a rush of energy making his hands shake and the world seemed all too loud and too bright around him.
The rest of the waiting room sat in silence between coughing or the odd sound of a child talking to their parent. The whole place stank of cleaning products and old people… so it was just even more humiliating that Jaskier was fighting to keep his dick under control.
Really he couldn’t be blamed, not when Geralt looked like that. He was tall, muscular, smart and yet such a fucking dork; just Jaskier’s type. Oh and let’s not forget unobtainable. They were always unobtainable and Geralt was no exception. He was happily married to a beautiful successful businesswoman and had the sweetest little daughter, or at least that’s what Jaskier assumed judging by the photographs in Geralt’s room.
Fuck.
Why hadn’t they been called yet?
“Jask?” Pris asked, startling him from his inner turmoil with a light touch to his arm. “I need to go to the bathroom. If I get called, can you let Doctor Rivia know?”
Jaskier nodded, chewing on his lips as he tapped out a rhythm on his leg. “Of course, dearest.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He’d been counting on Pris being there as a barrier between them, and of course as soon as she was out of sight the intercom pinged calling Priscilla to Doctor Rivia’s room. He didn’t even have time to panic as his head started to spin and all the blood rushed from his face. Jaskier swallowed and stumbled to his feet, walking in a daze towards Geralt’s room.
It was as if there was no oxygen left in the hospital, and he could swear he could feel the heat of everyone’s gaze burning into the back of his neck. His mind kept drifting back to the few blissful seconds of kissing Geralt, a passionate, desperate collision of lips, tongues and teeth. The memory seared into his brain, into the very cells of his body. If he lived for a hundred years he would never forget that kiss. He just couldn’t help himself. Geralt was a flame and he was the moth, the compass pointing to Geralt’s north.
Iron filings pulled towards the magnet…
“Nah, that’s shit,” Jaskier muttered to himself as he ran his fingers through his hair before taking a deep breath and knocking on Geralt’s door.
A shiver went down his spine as he heard Geralt’s gruff, incredibly sexy voice say “Come in.”
God, what Jaskier wouldn’t do to have that voice whispering all sorts of dirty things into his ear…
He licked his lips as he pushed open the door, fighting the blush that was no doubt painting his face as he met Geralt’s eyes. The doctor frowned as he raised an eyebrow at Jaskier, then smirked, cocking his head as he spoke.
“Priscilla, welcome, take a seat.”
Jaskier snorted, flopping down onto the table. “Oh haha, very funny Geralt- Doctor Rivia.”
“Geralt is fine.”
“Geralt,” Jaskier mumbled, unable to take his eyes off of Geralt, golden eyes dark as they dropped to Jaskier’s lips.
It felt as if they were bonded together, an invisible tie from Jaskier’s soul to Geralt’s, pulling them together. Jaskier’s heart was racing in his chest and he fell into Geralt’s arms before he’d even realised he was moving. Their lips pressed together for one amazing, mind-boggling second, Geralt’s hands cupping his face and holding him close. He tasted like sweet, delicious coffee and smelled like heaven; addictive, sinful… so very tempting.
A demon sent to claim Jaskier’s soul.
And then they stumbled backwards, both plastered against the wall on opposite sides of the room.
“Jaskier,” Geralt groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s a bad idea; me and you.”
With a nod, Jaskier bit his lip, hands tugging at his hair and making a complete mess of it. “I know, I totally agree.”
His heart didn’t stop racing and he had to grip onto the wall behind him to stop himself from launching back across the room. Geralt seemed to be having a similar struggle as their eyes met again, his face was flushed and there was barely a speck of gold left in his gorgeous, haunting eyes.
“It’s a bad idea, me and you,” he repeated, his fingers shifting from his nose to press against his forehead but neither of them could keep their eyes off each other for long.
Jaskier’s eyes flicked to the door where Priscilla could enter at any moment, licking his lips as he turned back to Geralt. He wanted to move closer but couldn’t leave the wall for his own sanity, so he ended up circling the room opposite Geralt. Both drawn to each other, neither allowing themself to give in.
“You have a wife,” Jaskier pointed out, as if he didn’t already know that.
“You have Priscilla,” Geralt agreed, and both of them spared another glance to the door.
The unlocked door…
Gold eyes met blue and then they both lunged for the door, dancing around each other in the middle of the room so they wouldn’t touch. The game would be over if they got too close, unable to separate with the torch that burned bright between them, melding their hearts and souls together.
Jaskier bit his lip, locking the door before turning to face Geralt once more, his back pressed against the hard wood behind him. “You’re her doctor,” he mumbled weakly but the protests were dying with every breath.
This was a losing battle and they both knew it.
“You’ve got a baby coming.”
There was a beat of silence where they both just stared deep into each other's eyes, searching for answers to unasked questions. Jaskier couldn’t seem to calm his breathing and his heart was beating so fast that he thought it might fly out of his chest. His hands were shaking in the effort to keep them from reaching out to Geralt. He wasn’t sure what it was about the doctor but he needed Geralt more than he needed the oxygen in the room.
“It’s a bad idea…” Jaskier muttered one last time, before his lips pulled into a smirk and he winked at Geralt. “Let’s just keep kissing until we come to?”
Geralt growled and they met in the centre of the room, Jaskier half kneeling on the examination table, his hands splayed on Geralt’s chest as the doctor held his face with a tenderness that surprised him. Their lips ghosted together, a breath away from touching, but before they could kiss Geralt pressed their foreheads together.
“Let's face it, making mistakes like this, it’ll just make it worse.”
“And it’s already pretty bad,” Jaskier sighed, his fingers gripping Geralt’s white coat tightly. “Just hold me close whilst we think this through?”
“Don’t have much time,” Geralt muttered. “Where’s Pris?”
“Bathroom.”
“Hmm.”
It was torturous, being so close to Geralt but not having what he truly desired, which was, to be blunt about it, to get fucked on the damn table before Pris could come back and find them…
But they really didn’t have much time.
Did they?
Jaskier’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he reluctantly pulled it out, unlocking the screen with his other hand still holding onto Geralt lest he disappear from Jaskier’s life forever.
I can’t stay in the bathroom forever, be quick about it. - P x
A laugh bubbled up and escaped his lips. She knew. The fucking bastard, he was going to buy her the most lavish present he could after this. He fucking loved her, just not in the way his darling mother wished.
Geralt looked at him, eyebrows raised as he cocked his head, his hands still pressed against Jaskier’s back. So Jaskier just grinned and showed Geralt the text.
“Fuck,” Geralt groaned, and then the dam broke.
Their lips met in a desperate kiss, both of them tearing and pulling at their trousers in a rush to get closer. It was clumsy and messy and possibly the hottest fuck Jaskier had ever had in his life, and when they were sat together after, panting as they tried to catch their breaths, Jaskier grinned dopily at Geralt.
“Geralt?”
The doctor’s fingers froze on the button of his trousers and his golden eyes flashed up to meet Jaskier’s gaze, looking flushed and completely indecent despite his best efforts. “Hmm?”
“It was a pretty good bad idea, wasn’t it though?”
Geralt chuckled, rolling his eyes as he pressed a kiss to Jaskier’s hair. The electricity between them hadn’t died down in the slightest and Jaskier was feeling completely high off the thrill and adrenaline of the affair. Geralt hummed as Jaskier pulled him into one last kiss before Priscilla knocked on the door.
A pretty good bad idea indeed.
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if the trope mashup ask game is still open,,,,, fairy tale au + dance au with damien and fl (i dont think i'll ever truly be over dancer!damien dhshsbjdjd)
Oh man, same. I'm big in love with dancer!Damien. No reason it can't be canon to some degree, right?
Anyway, FAIRY TALE DANCE AU GO!
Currently on prince!Damien brainrot so let’s say he’s a secret fairy prince who likes to steal away from his courtly duties to explore the wider world, go on adventures, watch humans from afar...
But one day, he spies a lone human living near the edge of the forest and finds himself enraptured. Despite knowing how dangerous humans can be, and that speaking to them is strictly forbidden, he visits them more and more, becoming taken with their way of life. He watches them work on their little farm, read from books he can’t see from where he hides, go into the nearby town to trade, and play a strange instrument that makes him want to dance. Sometimes, safely hidden in their hut under the cover of darkness, they even practice magic.
He didn’t know humans could do that!
One day, as he’s trying to convince himself that this is the last time, that he’ll stay away from now on, the human enchants the instrument so that it plays by itself and begins to dance. Their movements are stilted and clumsy, but it isn’t their lack of rhythm that clenches his heart. It’s the loneliness exuding from them, the way their hands open for a partner that isn’t there.
Before he can stop himself, he leaps into the clearing, disguising himself with a simple spell and extending his hand. When their fingers brush, the human jumps. Their expression shifts from surprised to embarrassed to horrified as they realize the instrument is still playing, but he quickly assures them that he won’t tell a soul.
“Your magic is beautiful,” he tells them, “but your dancing could use work.”
The affronted noise they let out makes him grin.
“Are you offering lessons or something?”
“Not lessons. Just someone to practice with. You have the basics down, and the enthusiasm. All you need is help to shine.”
They watch him carefully.
“And what is the price of this ‘help?’“
He wants to tell them ‘nothing,’ but his nature won’t let him. His eyes fall on the instrument, and so do theirs.
“Teach me how to play that, and I’ll call us even for however many times you step on my feet.”
They snort, and take his hand.
“Deal.”
#lucas!#asks#redacted asmr#redacted damien#au#tropes#trope mashup#?#ask game#damien x freelancer#freelancer x damien#writing#ohh this got long#ohh it's gonna get longer lmao#i'm#Invested#thank you#<3#!#WILL THERE BE MORE? IDK PROBABLY#i hate writing dialog kjsdknd#long post
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A Distant Dream V // Luke Patterson
Summary: In 1994 seventeen-year-old Luke Patterson had once again tried to ask out the girl that held his heart. With the belief he would see the younger Mercer girl the next morning he decides to wait confess his feelings. Only to have soft music bewitched the reader into an antique wardrobe with lots of history.
Warnings: Swearing, angst, heartbreak, fluff, talk of death and fluff.
Words: 4.4k
A/N: We’ve come to the end of the Distant Dream mini-series. I truly enjoyed writing this with my whole heart. @merceret I told you I’d use Lucy’s Cordial somewhere in the series. All parts are located in the linked masterlist.
TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!
Masterlist
The massive changes between the ’90s and 2021 slowly but surely started no longer seemed startling as it had been at first. Carlos had helped you assimilate to homeschooling once he’d admitted he knew about the boys. Ray was still kept in the dark.
2020 ended on a high note. Mostly. With the years in Narnia providing you with the knowledge you flew through schooling. Then you took a job as a waitress at a coffee shop, one similar to the shop the band performed in. The downside to the end of the year was for the band.
Despite performing at the Orpheum, the band hadn’t received as much traction as Luke had desired. They were a step closer to the dream but not as far as the entire band had wished. During Julie’s Christmas break, Luke had overworked the band with little breaks.
“Hide me.” Julie hissed from behind the counter of Ancient Grounds. The Puerto Rican musician escaped the studio to have lunch with you.
Unfortunately, Julie failed to see that without the entire band together, Luke would go to what makes him just as happy. You. That’s precisely what happened as Luke walked in through the entrance of the coffee shop.
“He’s still pushing more practice?” You asked, stacking the clean mugs on the shelf with complete focus. How odd it is to go from being Queen to working in a city as a waitress.
“I love him like a brother, but I feel like my fingers are gonna fall off from playing the piano constantly.” Julie sighed, sliding down the counter to sit on the floor hidden from the approaching guitarist and from your manager.
“Hey!” Luke grinned once his hands fell on the counter to lean over on the balls of his feet. His lips pressed against your right cheek before he fell back onto his feet.
Not a single soul in the half-full Ancient Grounds batted an eye to your awkward stance when Luke kissed you. Not since the boys had become tangible and visible to the general public when they wanted.
“Look to decide to grace me with his presence.” You teased. Your foot nudged Julie in her thigh to urge her to crawl to the end of the counter.
“I have no clue where Julie is. Reggie dipped to join Ray in his errands, and Alex is somewhere.” Luke shrugged, stepping aside when an older gentleman dropped a tip in the jar before leaving.
“Pick a number.” You told the male with one of your dimples on display.
“Eleven,” Luke responded, bouncing on the balls of his feet at the regular game you played together.
Each visit, you’d split a dessert from the menu with Luke along with his favourite mug of tea and your drink of choice; even he knew he didn’t need caffeine with his energy. That was Luke’s favourite thing of being brought half alive from the golden glow they’d received. You were sure Reggie had cried upon eating your Tia’s best recipe.
“Nanaimo Bar Cheesecake. A limited-edition from our Worldwide Treat menu. It’s Canada’s month.”
Luke followed to the counter’s end, where the sweets were kept on a glass viewing shelf. With careful movements, you slid a perfect triangle of the cheesecake onto a beautiful plate. The half-ghost retrieved it to your favourite spot in the garden patio. Julie used the time to sneak out the door with Luke’s back to her.
“What is a Nanaimo Bar?” Luke questioned upon you joining him at the iron-wrought table. One teacup accompanied by a teapot with Luke’s tea and a mug of your drink on an emerald tray.
“It’s a no-bake dessert. The base is a chocolate graham cracker and coconut base with the middle layer a cream filling. The top layer is a thin layer of semi-sweet chocolate.”
Luken nodded, “Ancient Grounds loves cheesecakes.”
“Addie adores inventing new versions of cheesecake. Her best is the Creamsicle Cheesecake during the summer. A staple on the menu.” You responded with a twinkle in your eye. You may not look like the Queen you once were, but you were just as invested in learning about people as you’d done with the Narnians.
“What’s your favourite dessert?” Luke questioned.
“I’m pretty partial to the chocolate cookies Addie makes.” You grinned, leaning closer to the male across from you. You hesitated in continuing, “In Narnia, the pastry chef Cair Paravel employed always had these gorgeous desserts with Edmund in mind. Turkish Delights with a secret ingredient.”
Luke’s smile grew as you talked about the other home you had. A place you rarely spoke about now. You hadn’t even returned to the basement to see the wardrobe like you had before.
“I wish I could have seen Cair Paravel. It always sounds so magical when you talk about it.” Luke’s tone was wistful paired with the twinkle of his hazel eyes.
“It’s a breathtaking place. Everything is lively in Narnia, and after the Witch was defeated, we ruled peacefully for the most part.” Your e/c eyes unfocused on your surroundings to recall all the wonderful times spent in Narnia.
The times you shared a table with Mr. and Mrs. Beaver in their home over the years snacking on the homemade jams. To the times you listened to Mr. Tumnus playing everchanging lullabies on his flute. Even walking the beaches with Lucy in hopes of catching sight of Aslan again. Of gossiping with Susan over the many suitors that came for her hand.
“If you could do it all over again knowing the outcome, would you still do it?” Luke questioned with a tilt of his head. He’d shed the flannel jacket as the sun rose higher in the sky.
You nodded, “Absolutely. The Pevensies were some of the greatest friends one could ever hope to have.”
As usual, Peter wasn’t spoken of in light of the ache that resonated in your heart and the awkwardness Luke felt. A poor choice of avoiding your once husband instead of communicating on the topic.
“Have you ever thought of trying to find them?”
“No point. Peter would be ninety-seven now as the oldest, and Lucy would be eighty-nine. If I recall, it was 1940 for them when we went to Narnia. It’s possible Peter may have joined the war in ’42 when he was eighteen, so who knows if he lived.” Luke was surprised by the nonchalant reaction to the potentially grim outlook on your former in-laws.
However, Luke knew the truth, that you greatly missed the four people who became family during your disappearance. You could fool Julie and Reggie, but you could never fool Alex or Luke no matter how much you tried.
“I’ll see you at home? My break ended.” You swiftly cut off any more talking of your former life. Luke merely watched as you stacked the dirty dishes, only leaving Luke’s cup and teapot.
“I should get back. Julie’s most likely back in the garage from sneaking back.” Luke’s hand pushed through his messy curtain of brunette hair. His words revealing that he’d known Julie had been in Ancient Grounds the entire time.
“How’d-”
“When she sits on the floor, she taps the heel of her shoe on the floor. Same rhythm.” Luke smirked as he chugged the last of the tea, “Don’t tell her. I like when she fights a smug smile with that certain light in her eyes.”
The brotherly role Luke had taken on with the Molina girl was heartwarming, to say the least. Sometimes Julie would begrudgingly ask for advice about her feelings for Nick to Luke’s amusement. He adored being able to tease her.
“I’ll see you later.”
The boy dropped the correct change for the tea on his way out the door into the bright sunlight. Like clockwork, he’d turn into the alley to become intangible to poof back to the studio.
The rest of the day passed by like a breeze in the coffee shop with the late lunch rush and then the dinner rush the busiest time. Jess gave you a ride home in her truck as usual with a promise of a cupcake of Julie’s as payment.
“Did you see him?”
The sudden voice startled you so much your hand couldn’t help but grasp at empty air by your side. Alex screeched as you swung to face him on the Molina driveway.
“Alex! Good Aslan, you startled me.”
“...were you reaching for a sword?” Alex questioned, appalled by your reaction. Your e/c eyes rolled in response.
“Isn’t the saying old habits die hard?” You prodded the baby blue of Alex’s long sleeve shirt. One of the shirts you’d often stolen from him, “And no. I didn’t see Willie.”
Your heart clenched as soon as Alex’s shoulders dropped in defeat once more at the absence of the skater. It had been months now with little sightings of the skater you had yet to meet. The boys kept your presence on the down-low to avoid Caleb’s interest.
“I hope he’s okay,” Alex muttered under his breath. The elder Mercer began gnawing his lower lip in worry.
Gently you interlaced your hand with his hand, his deft fingers playing with the braided bracelets on your wrist. The bracelets had been a Christmas gift from Julie and Flynn with the colours of the sunrise. It grounded Alex more often than not.
“You told me the Club travels around the world. Maybe Caleb’s not in America; maybe his ego needs to recover from his loss.” You shrugged, tugging the teenager into the house. Ray barely waved from his work computer.
Ray Molina had welcomed Alex, Reggie and Luke into the family when he met them in person the day after the Orpheum performance. He’d accepted that Alex was your older brother and had been in Switzerland for boarding school. He understood that Luke and Reggie came as a package deal with Alex, so the boys had worked to clean out the basement.
A few visits to second-hand doors brought furniture for the basement renovated into the boys’ shared suite. Alex still spent most nights in your room; he still feared you'd disappear from his life again.
“I hope you’re right.” Alex muttered in false hope that something would go his way for once, “Oh! The band received an invitation to some underground music festival in England during spring break. We’re hoping to convince Ray and Julie’s aunt to let us go.”
And you could see the band practices would be growing for that breakthrough with the band. And you were correct in your guess merely hours after going to sleep.
At five in the damn morning, Luke burst into your attic bedroom to drag your less than enthusiastic brother from his sleep. You bet your ass you hit the teen in the face with your pillow, which meant you had to crawl out of bed to retrieve the pillow.
“Asshole!” Alex exclaimed as Luke roughly poofed both of them to the studio. Julie swaying sleepily in her sweater and pyjama pants, waiting for the two.
Spring Break 2021 (March 26-April 2)
The youngest member of the tourists proudly displayed her smile, catching sight of the bed and breakfast in the English countryside. Julie had been floored when Ray had given his permission to the foreign festival.
Ray couldn’t hide his excitement for the band, plus all-expense paid, receiving the invite via a relatively small record company.
“First birthday back together,” Luke spoke from your side. Hands intertwined together in the cool wind of England. His arms were covered by his flannel coat in the unfavourable weather of the day.
You hummed, “Never thought I’d be celebrating my seventeenth birthday in England during 2021. Besides, I’ve already been seventeen.”
“I always knew I’d bring you to all the countries in the world.” Luke’s tone was matter of fact, staring at the stage being built under a woman’s guidance in her mid-30s.
The bed and breakfast had a lovely history your tour guide Martin had enthusiastically told on the train ride from the city.
The man with spry greying hair pointed towards the old train station providing facts that interested most of the group. Luke’s arm tossed over your shoulder focused on the songbook, a new one, open in lap. Luke and you had slowly but surely evolved from shy brushes of skin to holding hands and then Luke’s arm over your shoulder. Chaste kisses on cheeks while you reassimilated into the dating world.
“In 1940, this train station deployed countless trains filled with evacuating children away from London during the Blitz. Filled with returning soldiers, mothers sending children to safety and children were torn from all they knew. Each child had a tag to identify them.” Martin explained intently, speaking to the group his organization had assigned him to.
“Where did they go?” Reggie curled into the travel blanket he’d bought specifically for the trip.
“Anywhere safe for them and where they could be cared for.”
“This route is one of many the evacuations used. The bed and breakfast we’re heading to holds a great history as well. It was once the Manor of Professor Digory Kirke during his life and passed down through generations throug-”
Martin’s story faded into the black abyss as sleep took you over by the soothing motion of the train and Luke’s warmth. Luke met the gaze of Alex. The two guys shared a sweet smile solely for the relaxed features of the younger Mercer.
“This is just another step in our journey for Julie and the Phantoms.” Your words warmed Luke Luke when he noticed you cemented your position in his life. You saw yourself in the future of Julie and the Phantoms as a faithful supporter and friend.
“Luke Patterson, correct? I’m Eva.” Your eyes widened, meeting the eyes that reminded you of someone. Just on the tip of your tongue, “My wife Diana will be a few minutes. We’re still getting the stage put together.”
“It’s so nice to meet you. How many people are you expecting?” Luke questioned the older woman. His mind snapped into business mode for the band.
“This is our fourth year putting on the festival at this location. This is the first year we added a wild card option for fans to vote on. Your band rocketed ahead of the other bands.” Eva explained, keeping her eyes on the woman you dubbed as Diana. The pure love in Eva’s eyes is a call to the yearning in your chest.
“I thought a recor-”
“Technically, yes, a record company flew you out. Diana started a small record label a few years back. Cair Oom Records. She’s the first person in both our families to step into a non-traditional career.” Eva explained to the now interesting young couple.
Luke was interested in the record label’s history, whereas you focused on the label’s name. Cair Oom. A call to your Narnia days you remembered.
“Cair Oom?” You interrupted the conversation in pure curiosity. Your eyes drinking in the features of Eva, her freckles and brown eyes mirroring a person from your past.
“The label name?” Eva continued once you nodded in response, “It’s from a childhood story my family passed down. Diana was close to my great-aunt before we moved out here to run the bed and breakfast.”
“Of a dream of a dream. Spare Oom.” It was whispered in the breeze straight in your ear of a voice you vividly recalled—the disembodied voice with the same freckles as Eva but with chocolate brown hair instead of strawberry blonde.
“Y/N? You coming?” Luke’s concerned hazel eyes bore into your distant ones wandering the hills of the property. You hadn’t even noticed Eva leaving towards the Manor.
Your e/c eyes search for the owner of the youthful voice but come up empty. The only people you saw included your group with the odd workers setting up under Diana’s supervision.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Luke stepped right up in front of you, “You’ve been out of it since Eva mentioned the record label.”
“I’m fine. I’ll be right back.” You mumbled, following the woman up the path. Luke stared lost as you disappeared into the door. Eva entered.
The woman stood outside a door within the home, “I never knew what she meant. Not until I saw you Y/N.”
Your foot stumbled back when Eva turned with a soft smile you vividly recalled on a certain Pevensie. Eva unlocked the door to a room with only a picture hung on the wall.
“Narnia.” You breathed, stepping right up to the detailed painting of Cair Paravel. Your fingers tracing the beautiful frame holding it up.
“Correct. My Great-Aunt, in her adult life, adored painting in her past time. It was rare she told Narnian stories, but my mother loved them so much she told them to me as a child.
“Who’s your-”
“My name is Lucy Eva Baker. I was named after my other Great-Aunt, but I prefer going by Eva.” Eva’s words pulled a deep gasp from your throat. Tears building as the truth settled in the room.
Eva shared the same smile and brown eyes as Edmund Pevensie did, even the mature aura wrapped around her. The maturity Edmund had grown into during the fifteen years in Narnia. Without a shadow of a doubt, Eva Baker was the granddaughter of your former brother-in-law.
“Your-”
“Edmund’s granddaughter.” Eva finished with a sympathetic smile, “You featured heavily in each story. I always knew Narnia wasn’t merely a story.”
And then the conversation stuttered when you finally noticed Eva spoke mostly of learning of everything by her mom and Susan. Not a mention passed Edmund being her granddad. A piece of your heart broke, and it seemed the older woman saw it happen.
“W-what happened to…” You couldn’t even choke the question out in the room. Eva’s hand reached out to grasp yours in her own hand.
“I can’t tell you much as that reason that will become clear but in 1949 just shortly before my mom was born there was an accident. Grandpa Edmund and Peter were waiting for the train at the station. The train wrecked, killing the train occupants and many people in the station.” Eva was quick to catch you as a piercing grief-stricken scream exploded in the room.
In the Manor’s tea room, the band and Ray enjoyed a genuine tea time with Diana. Ray and Diana traded stories of their young sons while Reggie restrained himself to savour the food. English tea time begging for genuine manners.
Luke raised his cup to lips before it dropped to the saucer upon an exploding anguished wail from upstairs. Thankfully the cup didn’t break as the American guitarist sprung himself in the direction of the wails—Alex hot on his heels with a call to his friends.
Your screaming drowned out the furious stomps of feet racing in the halls of the Manor to the entrance of the room. Luke’s heart shattered at the pure anguish coating your broken features. Alex roughly pushed his way to tug you into his arms.
Alex’s large hand cupped the back of your head while he rocked you in his arms, “Shh. Let it out.”
“No!” You screamed into Alex’s shoulder. You couldn’t acknowledge Luke’s comforting hand on your shoulder, “N-no.”
“I got you. I’m here. I’ll always be here.” Alex murmured in your ear so softly you almost didn’t catch what he said. Luke dropped to his knees by your side. The three teens unaware as Eva excused herself for your privacy. Eva had watched her great-aunt Susan break every time she spoke of her late siblings.
Seconds passed or maybe years as it seemed to happen to you. But soon, you simply rested against Alex staring at Susan’s painting. Barely blinking in the room causing you suffering. You barely responded to anyone as you battled the grief. You faded in and out of daydreams as the bands performed. Days mixed together. Time didn’t exist to you. You were aware enough when Julie and Ray invited you to shop in London.
To everyone, including your surprise, you agreed. The three half ghosts joining in fear you’d shatter again. Eva and Diana held hands watching the car disappear in the distance carrying a group of musicians. An echo of Eva’s words replacing in the back of your mind.
“Three of five drink at high tide. Four of nine and five of nine stand apart by time. A drop of Valiant’s potion will begin the time once before frozen.”
“Are they-”
“Yes.” Eva spoke before her wife could finish the sentence, “She’ll be returning to Narnia. Decades separating her from the Pevensie siblings.”
Eva was correct. At the station, the location was painful as it was Lucy, Peter and Edmund’s last place they’d been alive. Ray disappeared to use the restroom, leaving the five teenagers to wait for the adult.
“Ouch!” You exclaimed, rubbing a spot on your arm with a grimace. Your eyes glaring at your tall older brother, “Don’t pinch me!”
Alex shook his head, “I didn’t pinch you!”
“Luke!” Reggie squealed, jumping away from the guitarist with a pout on his full lips. The bassist rubbing his stinging cheek, “These cheeks are reserved for my Grannie!”
Luke scoffed at his friend, “Why would I risk the chance of you biting off my finger Reginald?”
“We have bigger problems than whose pinching us! I’m losing my damn mind! First three himbos fall out of nowhere, then a girl trips out a magic wardrobe and now this!” Julie snapped, staring at their environment in the train station tunnel, “I need to be committed!”
You watched breathlessly as a strong gale storm literally tore pieces of the train and the walls of the station apart. Through the train windows, you watched as a bright blue sky increasingly grew. The colour is so clear and vivid in only one place you knew.
The train blew by. The wall behind you changed into stone—the floor into the sand.
“What the fuck?” Alex demanded, twirling around on the new scenery of a beach in what was supposed to be a train station. The poor male kept being thrown off-kilter since the alley in 1995.
You knew deep in your heart where you were. Especially when four people of different heights stood with their backs to you. One individual, the shortest, turns upon feeling eyes on her back. And at the same time, you spoke.
“Lucy!”
“Y/N!”
The two girls ran straight into each other’s arms sobbing in elation and relief at finally seeing each other after a long year apart. The seven additional people who joined the duo collapsed on the ground. Alex cleared his throat.
“Y/N? Are you going to intro-”
“That’s Queen Y/N.” Peter snapped towards the stranger with a pink sweater on. Peter could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen a man wear pink.
“That’s my sister.” Alex snapped, standing at his full six-foot height, pinning a glare on the other teenager. Peter scoffed in response. His face faltering upon finding your hand encased in a male shorter than the blonde.
Without a shadow of a doubt, Peter knew this man was the unseen third person that filled every conversation and room between Peter and Y/N. Peter was very much aware that you weren’t in love with him. He lived with the knowledge for a decade, pretending it was he that you deeply loved. Seeing the person holding your heart hurt.
“This is my brother Alex Mercer and our friends Julie Molina, Reggie Peters and my...this is Luke Patterson.” You gestured to each of them; the Puerto Rican musician shell shocked. Julie now knew why that talking lion you spoke of sounded familiar. Narnia had seen one other visitor years before Julie was born.
Rose Molina’s bedtime stories for her children involved a lion named Aslan and a magical wardrobe made from a special tree. Julie recalled the feeling Narnia birthed if in the world as Rose described it.
“Mercer as in...?” Edmund trailed off slowly.
“My horse. Yes. I guess subconsciously, I still remembered where I came from.”
“These are my friends Susan, Edmund, Lucy and...Peter.” You softly spoke of the eldest Pevensie. His blue eyes sadly meeting yours.
A fondness growing at the sight but a pain blossoming at the heartbreak in his features. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see Peter had put two and two together on who Luke was to you. And while Peter desired to fight for you, he knew it was a lost cause; time cruelly separated you outside the world of Narnia. You both deserved happiness, so with great pain, Peter let you go.
“C’mon!” Lucy shouted, racing out of the cave on the bright sunny beach. The rest hot on the heels of the youngest member of the conjoined group. As you all goofed around on the beach, you told the Pevensie family all about Julie and the boys.
“Welcome to Narnia, my love.” You murmured to the boy that held your heart in his gentle hands. Luke Patterson beamed. He finally got the girl of his dreams and visited the place you hold dear.
The fun aspect of being in Narnia with both of your family came to a halt when you discovered the ruins. Cair Paravel had become a pile of broken stone and sadness. Not a single Narnian in the distance nor the Beavers or Mr. Tumnus.
“What?”
Julie and the boys’ presence became static in the background while the former Narnia royalty pursued through the ruins. They found the chessboard and the gifts Father Christmas gave them during the Winter Revolution.
Something clicked within Lucy as she almost robotically walked to each half-dead boy with her Cordial in hand. The room went silent as Lucy fed each phantom a drop of the medicinal potion. As soon as Alex closed his mouth, all three boys were enveloped in a blinding silver light.
And the true magic happened. For the first time in twenty-six years, three hearts began pumping blood. A previously frozen clock began beating to the sound of those hearts. The magic of Queen Lucy’s Cordial finished what Julie had started; the three formerly half head phantoms became living humans once more.
What a magical place the world of Narnia is.
(Above is the teacup and pot Luke uses in the Ancient Grounds coffee shop!)
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