#truly nothing like winning on home ice god i can't deal with this

[beautifulstorms]

Deanna Stellato-Dudek / Maxime Deschamps, All I Ask • Worlds 2024

[kikuism]

here are the books i've read lately that i want to talk about!! all of them are debuts too.

the witch's heart: a story about the giantess angrboda, whose union with loki produces three unnatural children: the wolf who will swallow the sun and moon, fenrir; the world serpent, jormungandr; and the keeper of the realm of the dead, hel. they live their life at the edge of the world, away from prying eyes, in domestic idyll bliss...until angrboda’s visions plague her, and she sees her children responsible for a large part of the destruction that ragnarok—the end of times—will bring about. are her children monsters? how far does a mother's love go to protect her unnatural children destined for destruction? these are the questions at the heart of the book and they really truly tugged at my heartstrings. i wasn't prepared for how emotional this book made me feel. at its heart it is a story about family, about motherhood most of all. my budding interest in norse mythology also greatly upped my enjoyment of this book. i'm definitely going to keep an eye out for more books by this author in the future. i can't believe this is her debut!

these feathered flames: inspired by russian folklore, twins asya and izaveta are thrust apart by two separate destinies: asya trains to become the firebird that keeps magic in check in the realm, and izaveta trains to be the next queen. however, tragedy brings them back together: the death of the queen. suddenly izaveta is crowned the new queen, and asya prematurely must take on the role of the firebird. tensions rise between the sisters, who not only have not seen each other in years, but whose new positions have never really worked in tandem with each other before. the sisters must navigate growing political tensions as well as try to figure out what—or who—killed their mother.

in my personal opinion this book promised more than it delivered, and i think if the execution were a little sharper I'd have enjoyed it more. i wanted to get more of a feel for the characters. it was there, but i wanted more. i admit i enjoyed izaveta's parts more than asya's—i think i have a thing for ice queens trying to navigate their new roles (god....not to bring up frozen, but i was so excited for elsa's character and....they just didn't do anything with her). izaveta reminds me of what elsa would be like. also, i'm sorry, but...the f/f enemies to lovers romance that was a big part of this book’s hype absolutely failed to do anything for me. i so wanted to like it, but unfortunately i couldn't care for it. and i know it's because i didn't care enough about the characters that i couldn't get invested in their romance. if i can't care about them as individuals, how can i care about them together? also, the pacing of their relationship was just not it. i also expected this book to be steeped in russian folklore and culture the way the bear and the nightingale was—with that book, i felt like i had truly stepped in medieval russia; it was dripping with culture. but with these feathered flames, it felt like just a little dip into what should have been a richer world. yes, there is russian food and clothing and names, but i still felt the impression i was reading about some vague european setting rather than a fully established russian one. all in all, it wasn't terrible, but it didn't really do much for me. i give it a generous 3.5/5. i might pick up the sequel.

ariadne: ariadne and her sister phaedra are princesses of crete, who have grown up hearing the thunderous bellows of their brother, the minotaur, in the massive labyrinth underneath the palace. every year fourteen tributes are brought over from athens to be sacrificed to the beast. until one year, one of the tributes turns out to be the legendary theseus, who vows to defeat the minotaur and end this cycle of violence and bloodshed (yes! suzanne collins was inspired by the myth of theseus and the minotaur). ariadne falls in love with theseus and aids him in killing her brother. but what does this mean for her—is this betrayal worth it?

i enjoyed this book. i think by now i have a soft spot for mythology retellings (thank you madeline miller 🤍), and the writing in these kinds of books is close to my own style, so i love that. i had originally thought the entire book was going to be about the maze and the minotaur, but it's just the first part! i won't say what happens, but...things happen. like all mythology retellings, this story too takes place over the course of the subject's life, so there's a sense of the passing of time. i must say that the writing is gorgeous and so expressive. it was a real treat to read. i think the overall reason i don't Love this book though is because 1) the ending was rather abrupt, and 2) the main theme, to me, really just boiled down to 'men ain't shit'. which....yeah, valid, but also i sort of wish it was a little more substantial than that. i wish it had something more to say too. i remember sometime around the middle of the book i just paused and was like, ‘okay but what's the point? what is this book trying to say?’ but regardless, i really and truly sympathized with the women in these book, mortal and immortal alike. they had it rough....we still have it rough....the universal timeless experience of being a woman.

the poppy war: *shrieks* i'm so glad i gave this book another chance. i could not put this down. it's the better 'orphan goes to boarding school' story. in fact, the first part tricks you into thinking it's going to be cutesy boarding school antics. but holy shit....no. no. this is a horrific story about war.

the poppy war is a historical military epic inspired by the second sino-japanese war and overall china’s bloody twentieth century. knowing a bit about east asian history myself i could actually recognize some of what was going on in this book. main character rin aces the keju, a nationwide exam that seeks to root out only the most talented youth—and is accepted into the most prestigious military academy, sinegard. however, tensions are fraught just across the sea as the federation prepares to make its move against nikan, her home. rin soon realizes she has an affinity for shamanism, a mythical power that calls upon the gods, and which might just be the key for winning this war and saving her people. but is this great power worth the even greater cost?

the best way i can describe the writing in the poppy war: it's a shounen anime come to life. the action is so amazingly written and explosive, from the swords to the magic, especially the way it's interspersed with the emotional moments. the way everything is written, i can see everything happening so clearly in my mind's eye. it's such a visceral experience. the writing just flows.

but this book is about war, first and foremost, and all the horrors that come with it, down to every last garish detail. it takes a lot for a book to unnerve me, but this one did and more. it made me uncomfortable and disturbed and horrified. this book delves into war intimately, not a small dip but rather a full submersion. there's a section detailing carnage in a city that's just going to stay with me forver. it's like that scene in mulan where they abruptly fall silent as they reach the massacred village, except every inch of that carnage is described in full intimate detail. it's not for the faint of heart. at one time i clapped my hand over my mouth because i couldn't believe what i was reading.

and it asks questions about war, too. who's right, who's wrong? is any of this justified? is vengeance the way to go? and the thing is....it's not. duh. venegance is Not the way to go. we all know this. but oh my god the way r. f. kuang writes, you want Nothing more than pain and death for rin's enemies. you want to see them suffer in the worst way possible. like rin, you want to get back at them in the worst possible way. and it's like...yes venegance is not the answer but you want her enemies to hurt So Badly. you start thinking, maybe it's okay, because they're so horrible and vile and inhumane, retaliation is the only possibly course. vengeance Must be served. but then.....what does that make you? what is the cost of vengeance? can you pay it? can you ever? is it worth it?

this book is insane and epic in the best way possible. i'm so glad i gave it another chance. the world building is so rich and lavish and the cast of characters is huge and i care for each and every one of them and i'm just. So Invested in what's going to happen next. SO MUCH happened in this first book, i'm still reeling, i feel like i've read two books in one sitting. i can't even predict what's waiting for me in the next book, which is a whopping 650 pages....i'm going to be fed so well.

also, here is a list of triggers. please exercise caution going into this book as it deals with some very dark themes:

[embracethecringeside]

OK, here's one: do you think that there's any genuine good in Rick? I can't make up my mind about that one. I don't think he's evil or a sociopath (a lot of fans called him that in the early days, that term is so misused), but his intense self-hatred seems to be the only redeeming thing about him. He must have some sense of morality because he knows he's done horrible things, but he makes zero effort to stop doing horrible things unless it benefits him somehow.

My short answer is yes, Rick has genuine good wrapped up in there but my full answer is a bunch of examples from the show that I would like to call Soft Sanchez moments, where Rick either does something good/says something real and genuine/or his goodness is talked about in some fashion.

Meeseeks and Destroy 

Morty: Look, I want to leave now. You win the bet, okay? (Searches Rick's lab coat for the portal gun) Just give me the portal gun and let's go, please!

(Rick sees the badly beaten Mr. Jelly Bean walk out of the bathroom and pieces together what happened)

Morty: Please, I just want to... go h-home. (Tears up and holds onto Rick)

Rick: Okay. Listen, Morty. I just won a bunch of shmeckels. Why don't we use 25 of them to pay slippery stair here for a ride back to the village, and then we'll give the rest of the shmeckels to the villagers, huh?

Morty: Really?

Rick: Sure, Morty. Yeah. You know, a good adventure needs a good ending.

Rick: Good job, Morty. Looks like you won the bet.

Morty: Thanks, Rick, but I don't know if I should. You know, you were right about the universe. It's a crazy and chaotic place.

Rick: Well, you know, maybe that's why it could use a little cleaning up every now and then, you know. This one's wrapped up neat and clean because we did it Morty style.

(They portal away, but Rick makes another portal back and sticks an energy pistol through it and shoots Mr. Jelly Bean, splattering him all over the screaming villagers)

A Rickle In Time

(Puts his own collar on Morty, who disappears) 

Rick: I'm okay with this. Be good Morty. Be better than me. Holy shit, the other collar! I'm not okay with this! I am not okay with this! Oh, sweet Jesus please let me live. Oh, my God I—I've gotta fix this thing, please God in Heaven, please, God, oh Lord, hear my prayers. Yes! Fuck you God! Not today, bitch.

Mortynight Run

Rick: Screw this. I’m out.

(Rick forms a portal and leaves through it. Morty tries to start the car as a Gromflomite approaches, but it stalls.)

Morty: Oooh…! Come on, come on!

Gromflomite: Get out of the vehicle made of garbage or we will open fire!

Morty: *still trying to start the car* Oh no no no!

Gromflomite: Open fire!

(A portal appears directly above the guards and water pours out of it, flooding the room. Another portal appears on the floor, and the water and Gromflomites are sucked into it. A third portal then appears and Rick emerges through it, walking up to the car.)

Rick: Stupid-ass fart-saving carpet-store motherfucker! *shoves Morty out of the driver’s seat and takes the wheel* Move!

Auto Erotic Assimilation 

Rick: You got that right. But... baby, listen. Y-you're talking about taking over planets and galaxies, you gotta... you gotta just... remember to let go sometimes, you know.

Unity (Administrator): I can let go! Hey, look! You see that town across the river? Watch this.

(Planes fly past and bomb the town, blowing it all up)

Rick: Whoa!

Unity (Administrator): Ha ha! Woot!

Rick: Whoa! That's not what I meant!

Unity (Administrator): [laughing] It's okay! It's okay, I evacuated! I evacuated the town, look!

Unity (Townspeople): Hey! Right here! We’re fine!

Rick: (laughing) Oh, that was awesome! My grandkids weren't in that town, right? A-are my grandkids alive? ... H-hey, my drink is empty

Get Swifty 

Rick: Take it from me, Ice. *burp* You can’t just *burp* float around space not caring about stuff forever.

Morty: Tammy… gross. Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick, but he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He doesn’t think about the consequences of anything he does.

Birdperson: And as a result, he has the power to save or destroy entire worlds. And he is the reason you and I know each other. And the reason I’m alive at all.

Look Who’s Purging Now

Arthrisha: Wait, stop! Please, don't kill me! I-I never intended to harm you, I swear. I am trying to end the festival. W-w-what do you mean? I was going to use your ship to destroy the rich assholes that run our society and save my people from the horrors of this yearly festival.

Rick: I'm not here to judge. I'm just a guy from another planet. But this girl is one of your poor people, and I guess you guys felt like it was okay to subject her to inhuman conditions because there was no chance of it ever hurting you. It's sort of the socio-political equivalent of, say, a suit of power armor around you. But now things are evened out, so, Arthrisha?

Morty: I can't help but feel ashamed about what I did back there, Rick. I guess you were right. I've got a lot of repressed stuff. I need to deal with. 

Rick: Don't worry about it, Morty.Remember those candy bars earlier that we got in the first act? 

Morty: Yeah, what about them? 

Rick: Turns out they have a chemical in them called purgenol that amplifies all your violent tendencies. 

Morty: Oh, boy. Whew! Thank goodness for that, huh? That's a relief. 

Rick: Yep. Don't even sweat. You're still the same old Morty. Your character's totally protected. (camera pans out to reveal the label on the chocolate bars reads “now purgenol-free”)

The Wedding Squanchers

BirdPerson: The guest list at this wedding includes 17 of the federation's most wanted. We have committed numerous atrocities in the name of freedom.

Rick: But... but... Here's the thing. Birdperson is my best friend, and if he loves Tammy, well, then I love Tammy, too. (Cheers and applause) To friendship, to love, and to my greatest adventure yet... opening myself up to others.

The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy

Rick: And you know what? I’ll cop to it. I put a lot of strain on your marriage. It wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.

Jerry: What?!

Rick: I didn’t respect your marriage. I certainly didn’t do it any favors. And for what it’s worth, I’ll apologize to Beth for it when we get home. Whoo! Whirly Dirly! Yeah!

Pickle Rick

I’m trying to let the scripts show all the ways Rick is good before I jumped in but since this is really weird without just watching the episode I’ll just explain that Rick doesn’t kill Jaguar after he finds out he has a daughter and then they work together to escape. 

The Old Man and The Seat

Tony: Can I look at a photo of my wife while you kill me?

Rick: Sure, but I'm doing her a favor. She either has terrible taste, or she's trapped in a marriage to a toilet thief. 

Tony: She's dead. And I don't mind joining her. Life has been hollow since I lost her. Using your toilet was nice, though. I'm a bit of a shy pooper. I'm ready when you are. 

Rick: Stay there. (goes through a portal, comes back with another Tony) Tell him what you told me.

Other Tony: What is this? What's happening? 

Rick: Tell him what you told me. 

Other Tony: My wife's still alive. Sh... sh... she went into remission 10 years ago.

Rick: And what did you do today? 

Other Tony: Oh, I, uh, pooped on a really awesome toilet I found... Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh! (Rick shoves him back through the portal)

Rick”: Don't use your dead wife as an excuse. You ( Bleep ) on my toilet because you don't know your place, and your place is nothing. So next time you stumble onto a toilet that feels too good for your ass, trust me, it is. 

Tony: You're not gonna kill me?

Rick: Don’t tell me what to do!

Tony: You can make a perfectly-realized, toilet-filled simulation of heaven, but you can't share a toilet? 

Rick: Don't insult my craft. The chemical is Globaflyn. It connects the whatever-you-want section of your brain to the whatever-you-have section. If your heaven is toilets, that's on you. 

Tony: All of these people... 

Rick: Are living their wildest, meaningless dreams and leaving me out of them.

Tony: People you refuse to kill and refuse to let into your life.

Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerry

(Rick reveals he has saved what he could of PhoenixPerson)

Okay and on to the big one where I am actually going to talk instead of just letting the script go off Rest and Ricklaxation. We see two sides of Rick, Healthy Rick and Toxic Rick. After Healthy Morty slaps Healthy Rick, and he slaps him back, he discovers the machine doesn’t actually know the difference between what is truly healthy and whats actually toxic, it goes by each person’s individual definition. Shortly after we as the audience learn that Healthy Rick? Is actually apathetic. He doesn’t care about others. All the caring and emotions are wrapped up in Toxic Rick. Everything Healthy Rick did and said is all stuff he believes are good, he apologies, he takes responsibility for his actions, he’s polite, he’s trusting, and he doesn’t try to control others, but he is doing all of this simply because he thinks he should. So it is completely selfless when he makes the bargain so Toxic Rick will merge with him, because, and he even says it, he hates having what he considers his toxins inside of him, but it’s the right thing to do.

Then of course Healthy Rick calls Toxic Rick out, knowing that he is the one with all his, “irrational attachments” as he puts it, and as much as Toxic Rick no longer wishes to be a part of Healthy Rick, he merges with him under the pretence that he will then be able to save Toxic Morty. Both act selflessly for different reasons, Healthy Rick believing it is the right thing to do, while Toxic Rick does it for Morty. 

So do I believe that there is good in Rick?? Heck yes!! Good is stored in the garbage grandpa!