#truly an enby bi icon

[cat-sapphics]

as a white afab nonbinary person who goes by they/them (primarily) and cut purrs hair shorter, god.......... people treating this specific type of nonbinary as the only type of nonbinary and/or as a trend makes me feel uncomfortable as hell. genuinely. it angers me at this point. i hate the idea of being associated with the “quirky 🤪 abolish 😈 gender 🤗” accounts all over tumblr and seeing them makes my blood boil irrationally, admittedly much more than it should. it makes my genuine desire to know myself truly and identify outside of the gender binary feel like a joke.

i’ve stopped using the label demigirl as much because it makes me feel as though i come across to other people as a cis girl just trying to go by other pronouns and be “different” from other girls when i've known damn well for nearly a year now that i’m anything but cis due to clear experience and i only experience a partial alignment to womanhood. maybe that’s just because that label’s so common across the wider queer community, i dunno. but i’ve started to prefer less-common labels such as girlflux and even more so galactian alignment labels since they’re so broad and hard to come across in others for me. my excitement of discovering i was demifemale feels so far away now that i see past me as an “uwu enby.” oh yeah, by the way, i hate that term for myself and it should be obvious why by now.

i’m... pissed, to say the least. i didn’t mean to but i think i’ve subconsciously started to gatekeep how nonbinary should be seen overall, which i need to unlearn i suppose, but i almost don’t want to because of the need to protect how i come across thanks to other parts of the community who are rather careless. it reminds me of those “queer as in fuck you” in bio people who use an ugly picrew holding a pride flag as their icon who are all “yes sweetie, you can use whatever label you want!! 😋 don’t worry about invalidating others, they’re just mean exclus >:((( you have the freedom to identify as a male bi lesbian who only likes men if u want to 😍“ and maybe i have developed a superiority complex but i have so much hatred for those types of people, personally.

maybe this is a bad take. maybe i’m the only one who feels this way. maybe by writing this post i’m invalidating others who feel differently. and if you do, that’s great, you do you if it makes you comfy. but even other lgbt people (compared to cishets whom we shouldn’t worry about) tend to see us as a single narrow box, which we tried to fucking avoid in the first place. my final thought here is, conforming to stereotypes aren’t bad at all as long as you take others into consideration. that’s all i really ask, since we’re not as visible as the expected to people who don’t care or respect that we exist in a way that isn’t “usual.”

[simstagramstar]

This always got to me too. And like. I feel like it’s also directly related to ~representation~ and performative activism. Like. How if there’s a queer person in media I hear from all my straight friends “omg so and so is gay/bi/trans you should watch or read this!” Ok like. Tell me more? Are they interesting? What genre is the show??? Like??? My queerness is not solely for consumption and I’d appreciate it if queer characters weren’t treated as making a show worth watching just because they’re queer. Like I still hate dramas, and if you actually know me you’ll know that no amount of queer folx in a drama will make me want to watch it. You’re reducing the character and myself to their identity label rather than actually approaching me as a person or that character as a nuanced character with traits other than their queerness.

If I was famous and someone called me an enby icon I would immediately feel the need to make several public statements about how 1) that’s not the only part of me and I hope you’ll make a judgment on me as a person rather than reduce me to one aspect of my being and 2) I’m not representative of all enby people whatsoever and you should not be basing your image on nonbinaryness on me and me alone.

I get it. I also get excited about rep (especially enby rep or polyam rep which I rarely get) and will try to support media that chooses to tell those stories even if they’re not the best pieces of media because I want to encourage the telling of more queer stories, but to truly be something I love or that isn’t strongly reductionist I need more than “omg yaaaas queer icon queen!!!”

wait what's the problem with calling Lilith a wlw icon? genuinely asking (like idk if you're sarcastic or smthn;;)

no its not about lilith i simply dislike the way sometimes us as part of the lgbt+ community make a recognizable brand out of sexualities in a way to connect and turning them relatable but at the same time patronizing and making them worthy only in very specific ways and for a specific group of people, specifically a young, chronically online demographic. You wont hear two gay persons talking about how much of a gay icon is x person in real life unless they also consume the type of media that is directly connected to the internet.

its like when someone says "x character looks gay" that's either your homophobic grandma's opinion on a stranger's appearence or yours, about this character you just found out exists. Its harmful and dehumanizing