#true story!

[dear-ao3]

i'm about to embark on a hallmark worthy fake-dating for a christmas party journey with my also gay best friend, send help

i did that once except it was 8 months long and we went to a harry styles concert together. we did not fall in love but also her friends don't know it was a bit.

[peachdoxie]

Kids these days going on road trips and listening to music on the aux cords or Bluetooth with music on their Spotifys, well in MY day when you were on road trips across South Dakota with your dad and didn't want to listen to his classical music, you listened to music on a broken portable broken DVD player that would disconnect if the car went over a pothole and the only music you had was a Camp Rock CD you played on repeat.

[hesbianspock]

that wistful pining when you forget to include rockets on the supplies list for the expedition to discover the northwest passage (you would use them to shoot at arctic whales. Recreationally)

[squoble-reign]

I hate this one, but Dipper’s here now so what’re ya gonna do-

[shinshoyu]

being mutuals with your favorite fic authors is horrifying bc i be reading their shit and drooling and then i look at my notifications and they're liking my posts. don't look at me rn. get out of my head.

[motherdelores]

[grayintogreen]

Henry Jekyll wasn’t shit. I turn into a horrible, monstrous version of myself every time I forget to take my Lexapro.

[iris-polaris]

king of da Stray Cats

[jellybeanium124]

I don’t need a fancy test to discern who is and isn’t neurodivergent, I simply start discussing the deep primal urge to eat fire and lava at a social event and see who stares at me like I’m from another planet and who starts ferociously agreeing or arguing with me.

[frogmoisturethief]

”yeah, I was actually awake the whole time! my mom didn’t let them put me under 😃”

[aph-estonia]

me ~2 seconds before getting penetrated: hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on i'm reblogging something i'm reblogging something i'm reblogging something i'm rebloggi- okay there we go

[spotofmummery]

Tonight I learned... my boots are being peddled on Ebay.

Right there along with some other famous shoes...

[theenemyod]

I'll be looking at my signs of mental instability and just be like "Constantine Madden coded". Bitch trying to be friends with a fucking gravestone was not Constantine madden codes it was a sign of being really fucking lonely.

[confield]

the boypussy was so good she turned into a girl

[g0blinwitch]

My brain is not wired for survival at all LMAO

My cousin, 100% serious: I'm going to stab you with a knife

Me, who only registered that he was yelling at me: Hrng adult mad at me :((((