#true sick headed freaks will know what im talking about
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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Watching Bakumatsu Without Honor and Humanity (modern-day bakumatsu retelling with yakuza, I guess? Maybe?) and I was gonna make fun of this guy for just having a photo of Sakamoto Ryoma on his lock screen to stare at wistfully before remembering I'd probably do the same with Minekata
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i literally cant make fun of this mfer i still have john laurens as my ipad wallpaper
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sshireens · 8 months ago
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2, 6, 8, 12 👉👈?
THANK YOU YINNIE 💓💓💓
2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom
this requires me to narrow down my favs, which is so much more difficult than i ever could have expected. yin if i don’t answer the ask quickly this was why. catelyn tully would never top because ned lays pipe and she’s a freak like that. saw a ss of a reddit post that was like ‘my wife likes to get blitzed and then come home and have me fuck her brains out’ and thats her. brienne is never bottoming and jaime is never topping because jaime has some kind of reversed gender thing going on that makes him want to be a girl but not to another man. and brienne lives to serve. she literally is a sword. and thats a penis metaphor as we all know. margaery is never topping men because despite being the first ally in westeros she thinks thats weird. these are compelling arguments to me! daenerys stormborn is NEVER. NEVER NEVER NEVER. never bottoming because A). thats the prince that was promised B). jon likes to get dicked down C). i personally believe that being sold and traded will lees her to discover (amidst her several trysts with irri jhiqui and doreah (bc u cant tell me otherwise. irri is canon first of all)) that she, as the breaker of chains and mother of dragons and khaleesi of the great grass sea, is not inclined to experience things at the whim of others but rather the opposite. is that appropriate to say.
6. which ship fans are the most annoying?
oh god. SORRY PLEASE DONT SHOOT ME EVERYONE! daemyra (this might be biased bc i just dont like daemyra) some sansan ppl really get under my skin…. LUCEMOND JESUS CHRIST. almost forgot about them (was almost free). wow sorry lucemond shippers first place for annoying. its not that im an omegaverse toxic incest yaoi anti its just. Its the people it truly is i cannot even enter that circle. there is a blog on here though i can’t remember the url of that makes cute sfw art that doesnt frighten me and ive been known to browse, even hit like once or twice. lucemond still stay away from me please
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
daenerys is not going to be queen of the seven kingdoms NOR SHOULD SHE BE. if daenerys takes the iron throne the whole series is pointless
12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
what qualifies as unpopular. also what do we consider like. because i consider like as in ‘this is a fun character to see interact with the world’ and NOT!!!!!!!!! ‘i support this guy’. just to clarify for any other viewers at home. a character ive seen a lot of people Dislike but i think deserves to be heard out is criston because he’s funny and thats it thats why everyone should like him. but i dont consider him unpopular? hmm tough tough …… will i get flayed if i say larys like i mean he’s just sick i love wondering what is going on in that head. in regards to characters i think are not given enough attention: jaehaera targaryen. ‘she’s a little girl shes a non-character’ SHUT UP. she’s a little girl exactly. she didn’t get the chance to be her own person she is alicent’s pain helaena’s pain and her own. GOD MY BABY GIRL….. she names her dragon death…… AUGH DONT EVEN TALK TO ME DOONNTTT EVEN. um also rhaella, daughter of rhaena the lesbian AND! mother of daenerys. bc first of all rhaella and aerea switches thats true. so like. rhaella septa rhaella wondering if that was meant to be her. wondering if maybe it would have never happened if she hadn’t traded places. is it kinder to force her twin into the faith or to let her die? Augh. also daenerys’ mommy just… why dont we know about her i need more people on here like me willing to band together to make up canon. i guess thats not really a reason why people should like them. ALSO SHIREEN BARATHEON I DONT KNOW IF YOU CAN TELL BUT IM THE BIGGEST SHOOTER FOR SHIREEN THATS BABY THATS MOTHER THATS THE PRINCESS THATS MY DAUGHTER THATS ME I LOVE HER SO BAD OH NY GOD SHIREEN PEASE COME HOME THE PEOPLE MISS YOU. and i know everyone dgaf about baby boy bowl cut brown boba eyed broken bran. but i gave birth to him. and thats why you should like him.
i don’t consider myself a targ girlie and then it comes to questions abt asoiaf and i can only answer in reference to them 😔 tried to be diverse 🤞
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irregularsleepingfish · 22 hours ago
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tangentially re: that post i just reblogged with "romance is a social construct" in it
first of all: post is extremely true yes yes
but good lord i need to really get it in my head that romance as we know it IS a social construct. the last time i was interested in someone (months ago now) i spent about a month of my life sick to my stomach and panicking over the idea that what boils down to hormones and instinct made me some kind of morally disgusting freak for daring to think about another person that way without their knowledge or something. like the idea that thinking someone is attractive is somehow inherently violating to that person. i spent that time in legitimate fervent denial that what i was feeling was in any way real because nothing is real so why does that matter. to a point where i found out he was hetero and confessed anyway just to get the guilt off my chest. (he was chill about it though lol he took it as a huge compliment. i cannot emphasize enough that literally nothing bad happened). some people get lovesick. love just makes me sick. lmfao
and, like, the friends i was talking to about it the most did not take me seriously at all and instead opted to joke about it. and i think thats why ive somehow equated finding someone attractive to being a bad thing in my mind.
so like. i need to get it in my head that there isnt any problem with viewing romance differently because of the way my mind responds to it. im not aro either i dont think. i wish i was honestly itd be easier, but unfortunately sometimes men are sexy and i get really gay about it. so gay, in fact, that my quantity of gayness should be in the dsm. damn it.
i can think all i want about how much id love to kiss (whichever guy it is in that moment) but we all know id be frothing at the mouth for a chance to start poetically describing the hollowness of not being able to accept love at face value because surely the chemicals in my brain are leading me astray to make a fool of myself or something
idk where this was going its dumb lol. ignore this ill kill it later
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m1ckeyb3rry · 4 months ago
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Ok cue my memory loss moment part 5 I can’t tell if I sent this reply in or not before so if this is a dupe I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE hsvshshs but anyways
OMG EVERYONE CHEER!!! Guys the moment is finally upon us…another mira banger about to drop….
LMAOO fwtkac was the gateway…once you start you can’t stop its just how the Karasu rabbit hole works! Bro hollyhock is actually so good…I can’t even put it into words properly but just the whole setting giving a new depth to a diff side of otoyas characters ugh so good
True!!! I’m ngl I’m a little surprised that for marketing sake they didn’t try to throw in some like popular character bait…maybe it’s because most of the actually popular bllkers are already out and as opposed to merch I guess book sales would be a bit diff? Like fans would buy to read even if their absolute faves aren’t in but yeah…the stories were fire though LMAO new appreciation for Barou fr
And IM ON IT o7 very happy to serve the miraverse and honestly it’s good for me too because if I wanna reference something quickly I can just go command f it or if I wanna read something fast I can just read my tl LMAO I also just like having my own TL/interpretations written down just for my reference too…which is part of the reason why I also ended up TLing Hioris too even though there was a TL already out! I remember reading the TLd version that got posted and some wording kinda threw me off so I was like let me just look at this myself…LOL Also I’m kinda a lore nerd so I wanna make sure I get to see any intricacies or in between the line messages that can get lost in translation! So yeah TLDR I will most definitely be here for tabieita LNs!!!
IM CRYING they’re gonna have to scroll through our manifestations and convos just to get to the chapter like imagine the link gets passed around and the first thing people read is us screaming about mariokart in yuki’s novel or anri getting done dirty (I clicked on the links just to see what they’d have to go through and oh my god chapter 2 LMFAOOO there’s like a whole minute of scrolling worth of convo before you even reach the LN part it’s so funny)
We’re truly just built different sorry this is exclusive content gatekept by the insanely long convos we have
-Karasu anon
HAHAH this time you did in fact send this in already 😭 but it’s okay i will delete the copy!! but no worries 😋
FINISHED ROUND ONE OF PROOFREADING!! heading to monaco for my mother’s birthday dinner soon hehe but once i’m back tn i will get on round two and hopefully i’ll be able to post it by tmrw!! lowkey idk how i feel about it but at least it’ll be out in the world after i’ve been talking abt it sm 😭
you came to my inbox and showed me the ways of karasuism and i’ve never looked back since 🙏🏻 jkjk but fr though i love writing him sm now he’s so good at the one sided pining thing which i loveee in a male lead 🤩 like YESSS be absolutely sick over this girl who doesn’t even know she likes you yet YESSS 🤤💖
hollyhock otoya is so fun i love him and i cannot WAIT to write more of him and y/n…idk if you’ve heard that one tik tok sound that’s like “you belong with me” from taylor swift and then it transitions into “you belong to me” from house of balloons / glass table girls from the weeknd but that’s literally hollyhock y/n + karasu’s dynamic vs her dynamic with otoya 😭😭😭 like with karasu it’s all sweet innocent besties (they are platonic soulmates coded eventually like they end up loving each other SOO MUCH but not romantically??) vs with otoya she’s literally like “i want you to belong to me” (exact quote from chapter 2: “you wanted this ninja to belong to you”) FHDKSJSJ man atp free otoya 😰🙏🏻 but he matches y/n’s freak so well he probably doesn’t even WANT to be freed
i feel like the people who would buy light novels would buy them no matter what + they probably thought barou would be popular enough to carry it?? who knows…agreed though the stories were all rlly good (well aryu’s was a little goofy but wtvr)
LMAOOO THAT’S WHAT I WAS THINKING people will be like “why are they freaking out over mario kart??” FJSJDJS but ykw if you want to read you have to go through the trials and tribulations of our massive convos 🤩 we are elite though…carrying the bllk fandom with our translations + fics 😋
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damienthepious · 10 months ago
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hope this isn’t pestering, but mayhaps a bit of commentary on chapter 3 of raised by wolves? Whichever bit you want really. I’ve reread it like twenty times I cannot get it out of my head, would love to hear some of your thoughts!
not pestering never pestering even if i take a short geological age to respond because i am SO tired and forgetty. owo. raised by WOLVESSSSS
["How are you calm about this?" Arum growls, gesturing towards Damien as if indicating... all of him, perhaps. Which is arguably unkind, though not unfair.]
I'll be honest Damien NOT freaking out about Rilla keeping a secret from him for as long as they've known each other..... i mean, tbh i could see a number of universes where he DID freak out, but again- in those verses, Rilla probably panicked and bailed. not the specific story i wanted to write, lol. Also? Damien isn't really.... """calm""" about this. he's resigned to it, but that's not the same as calm. He's had a number of PRIVATE but SCREAMING breakdowns about this and held himself together for the sake of not causing Rilla to bolt.
because this particular Rilla is extremely prone to bolting, freezing up, and blocking people out. safety first, when your secrets could get you slain!
["How have you not driven yourself out of your mind for worry about what could be going on behind your back? She could be sick, someone could be blackmailing her, she could be cursed."]
lol she kinda is cursed tho. anyway. poor Arum honestly. he's absolutely freaking out in his own way, too. arum voice YOU must be worried about all these things! they definitely aren't things that IM worried about!!!!! god he's so bad at being vulnerable.
[Damien sighs again, and then he pushes himself to stand from his own seat, moving closer to drop himself onto the cushion beside Arum instead, leaving a hand on the monster's shoulder and ignoring entirely when Arum growls at him.]
Damien has had a lot of time to sit with this. he knows that Arum hasn't. Arum is getting all this tension fresh. Damien is extremely sympathetic to that.
["I am calm about this," Damien says gently, "because the other option I could see, before, was to lose her. I know her," Damien says, ignoring the way that Arum startles.]
Damien is, generally speaking, terrible at holding his anxieties in check, even when the results are disastrous. His exceptions seem to be when he convinces himself of something. This Damien has, out of necessity, convinced himself to pretend like he isn't worried. He's convinced himself that she will tell him, when she's ready (this has not proven true, alas).
["I know that if I tried to push her, if I tried to interrogate her… it would only push her away. And…" Damien feels his jaw tighten, his brow furrowing, and he forces himself back to tranquility as best he can. "Well, my strongest theory for the past few years has been that her… whatever her secret, whatever causes her to hide away, I thought that perhaps it had something to do with her parents and their Exile. I would certainly never wish to press her on that particular matter, it hurts her so to discuss it."]
The thing is: He Isn't Wrong. I haven't revealed MUCH about how Rilla got where she is with the whole lycanthropy thing, but....... yeah. Her parents are a factor.
annnnnnd i've probably rambled enough for now, if there's other sections you want me to talk about just lmk i LOVE rambling 💖💖💖
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kdipshit · 2 years ago
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Hard Knock Life ;
I’ve spent years trying to weed through this mess in my head, but it’s getting so clean now, It’s like the cord of thoughts in my brain was hiding some pretty cool stuff under it, pretty dope realisations. Yanno I didn’t go outside and run or walk or workout because my mum would laugh at the people who did that. I wouldn’t speak up because my mother would judge those who did. How can I say this without sounding like I’m an ungrateful daughter who doesn’t like her mum, that’s not true, that the furthest thing from the truth. I love my mother and I don’t blame her, I don’t even think I knew enough to even piece it all together. I feel like im making no sense, but im trying to read this damn chord but it’s hard. I feel like right now, im actually sick so maybe it’s the best time to talk about the rotten seeds imbedded in my brain, I’ve got a headache, im nauseous as fuck, im kinda high a little bit so im not in as much pain, my headaches aren’t fkn normal they’re fat fkn migraines that effects my neck, eye, temple, shoulder, jaw, sometimes it makes my teeth hurt or like they’re falling out lol, it’s pain I can’t open my eyes my vision goes black it’s so dramatic and so fitting for a BPD bitch lmao.
Anyways, I think that convo was getting a little like fucked up so I needed to get my mind off it, idk man I feel like I’m just rambling, I’m thinking too much about the reader and not shifting my attention back to just writing.
I have an appointment with my drug & alcohol Therapist tomorrow and like ugh. I’m feeling sick so it automatically makes me not want to go, she has only asked me of one thing, and that’s to sort my licence out, and do you think I’ve done that? No I haven’t done that, because idk why. I forgot. Like idk why I didn’t go do my licence, I guess I don’t fucking care that much. I don’t feel good today mannn, but I did still do my morning routine, most of it, which just consists on me cleaning my room, making my bed, putting music on and taking my meds lol, I’m back in bed now, but I still feel good and super grateful because my room is clean, my meds are taken, and I don’t really have to worry about anything else until a little later, I’ve given myself the space to chill, which I need sick she’s a sick girl. Oh yeah I applied for a job yesterday like full on went into the shop and handed my resume. I’m excited for the response. Sick of waiting for this other bullshit job, hours are better and it’s closer than my old job and my old job was literally 1km away.
I feel like my mum dropped me, not like physically, but she dropped her association with me when I was like 13-14 she kind of gave up on me and just let me run wild in my own brain, with no help or direction on where to go. She didn’t wanna talk to me about anything, she didn’t wanna hear anything from me, she didn’t care how I felt, what was going on at school, she didn’t care about me, or didn’t make it feel like she did, so I got a boyfriend who I became extremely codependent towards. My mum ignored me, for years, and didn’t talk to me unless we got drunk together, for years, I’m talking like 10 years she left me alone, it was awkward to talk to her, it was horrible, I missed a ghost it felt like, I missed her but I didn’t even know her.
Y’all I know I said goodbye but I’m soul tied to this man. I can’t let him go and I’m a freak for holding on still, thats how I feel, the last thing he said to me was how beautiful I am, and how much he loves me, so why is it so fucking horrible. Why does this feel so horrible, I shouldn’t reach out, thats not what I should do. Not anymore, I make myself look like an idiot, and all these thoughts are just so silly to me. But I miss him, and I don’t know if its because he’s my favourite person, or because he’s the only person to ever get that closet me… like he knows me in a way no one else can, I wouldn’t let them anyway…. I landed a job interview with a company I’m really enjoying, I don’t want to go because its a far journey, and its all too new, I just wish I had ‘him to talk to right now. I just wanna talk. It always turns into an argument, I miss him. ha. I do, I miss him, I still see him everywhere, I see him in me, I see him in everyone, and all the songs that are playing are song I was singing when we were together, yang, all that r&b shit, wee belong together by Mariah Carey just started playing, like, fuck off. Am I not tormented enough? I cant see myself with anyone else, and if that means I’m single forever then I’ve accepted that, and I’m okay with that, no one compares to my first love. And I’m not sick and tired anymore, I’m okay with that, I can understand that, and I’m okay. I guess he’s just a character that lives in my head, and thats the only way I can make peace with not being with him. Maybe he doesn’t even exist? Maybe he’s in a happy relationship, maybe I don’t even love him and I’m just in a mood swing, maybe im in love with someone else, maybe I’m in love with someone I can’t be with BECAUSE I can’t be with them, maybe I’m meant to be with someone else. Idk. Because I have loved after him, and some even more intense than my favourite person, but with my FP, I just don’t know….. I’m bound. Not for too much longer now… surely. I am so ready to let this go, soooooo ready. Omg, I still have his ring in my draw I gave him as a promise ring, he got me one swell, I know we were so married, anyways I still have his ring. Idk where it is but I know its hidden somewhere, that ring is my goodbye. I’ve always known it thats why I kept it. Just like I kept my goodbye from him for so long. The ultimate disrespect to myself. I was open for him for this long, my very first love, my first everything, it was 100% a relationship that was more grown than we were, way more grown. we were acting and living like we were so much older than we were. We were pretty locked in. And it was okay with me because I was following in my parents footsteps, young love, the seriousness, all the ugly. I accepted it all, and I loved all of him, for everything he was inside and out. ill always have love stored away somewhere for him, but choppitty chop chop Jesus Christ its HURTINGGGGGG MEEEEEEE. How??! gahh damnnn I’m tryinggg….. why don’t you fucking do it lmaooo, okay okay okay your right. Were gonna do it together girlie, aswell as let go of the anger I have towards my mother, since it all came out at the same time. Ugh, my counsellor told me to be honest tho so I am. I’m so much stronger than this, holding onto all of this bull fucking shit. I don’t need to hold onto anything, at all. The only thing that exist is this moment right now, thats it and thats all. Consciousness feels pretty trippy btw. Idk why I said that, I think I went into the void of the moment, lmao. Its good to not have to think or feel for use a little bit, everything disappears. All my problems leave, all my overthinking.
He kept me in line, and told me off, he guided me, he helped me, he loved me he cared for me. I can do all of that myself. If its really that, that I want. I guess I’m lonely, and he’s the only other person who can cure that for me. I feel a sensation of completeness when I’m talking to him, no matter the topic, or argument. I forgive him, and I let him go, please.
I love all my ex’s lol, not gonna lie, they all made me so crazy for them, all my ex FP’s , LMFAO, no one does it better, I wanna say I miss having a FP but I don’t, except for that one fkn FP that won’t loosen its grip on my mind, I’ve learned to live with him, its peaceful sometimes, but its still a fucking parasite. I’ve also decided I’m not going to take that job with that cool company in the city, its too far, ill keep an eye out for the other job I wrote a whole cover letter for. The universe has given me options and I am so thankful for that. Thank you thank you thank you. For everything, for it all <3 I was trying to whack the weeds out without looking at them in the eye, how rude.
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doexoeyes · 2 years ago
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Strangely Stranger Things
(Part 2)
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Summary: You & Steve Harrington? Well, stranger things have happened. Interdimensional monsters and all.
(Or in which the reader is a character in Stranger Things & this how I would incorporate them in the storyline).
Paring: Steve Harrington x Fem!reader
Warnings: Swearing, violence, a bit of suggestive dialogue.
Notes: This is part 2 of this series & it takes place during Season 3. Check out Part One before reading. Hope you enjoy♡
Season 3
You and Steve Harrington were living proof that the stranger, the better.
Never in a million years would either of you had thought that you’d end up dating, let alone be completely in love with each other.
Like literally devoted. Steve is like a love sick puppy around you, so inexplicably happy at being loved so fully and completely and by you. And you’re over the moon for Steve, butterflies and sparks every second you’re with him. Absolutely smitten.
The Loser and The Hair. Who would have thought.
Tammy Thompson is throwing a farewell party at her place and you and Steve attend, although he has made it impossible for you to even get out of the car.
He’s cupping your face, kissing you feverishly, one hand sneaking up inside your shirt while ‘True’ by Spandau Ballet played on the radio.
“Steve, come on..” you say as you tilt your chin away, although your words turn into a moan when he moves to place kisses down your neck.
“I can’t help it. You have me obsessed,” he mumbles into your skin, and you shiver at his confession.
“Mhm. We could have just stayed home then if this is how you wanted to spend the night,” you say, eyes rolling back when he sucks at your weak spot.
Your hands make their way into his hair, pulling at the strands. This elicits a groan from Steve, moving his hands down to slip his fingers under the waistband of your jeans.
“Mmm, not too late to turn back.”
You stiffen at this, gently pushing him away from you as you face him properly. “Steve, come on. This is probably your last high school party. You know, since the likely hood of me ever getting invited to one is very low,” you say, half joking.
You knew that when you’d go back to school without Steve there, you wouldn’t be as ‘respected’ as you were now. You knew the school would revert back to teasing or neglecting you, but you didn’t care. You had Steve at the end of the day and that’s all that mattered.
Steve looks at you with a pout, clearly unhappy at being torn away from you.
“I don’t know if I want to, actually. I think I prefer to make out with my girlfriend and have her make those beautiful sounds for me as I-”
“Is this about the college thing?” you ask him, a concerned frown on your face.
Sometimes it was a curse how well you knew him. He could never pull anything over you.
He sighs, slumping into his seat, hands running through his hair. “Im just gonna feel like shit when everyone starts talking about their futures. I already know I’m a loser. I don’t need it rubbed in my face,” he reveals.
Your heart breaks for Steve but you lean over to him, gentle hands on his cheeks as you tilt his head to face you. “Hey, you’re not a loser,” you say firmly, tone still maintaining its softness. “Getting into a stupid college does not measure your worth. You saved the whole freaking town for gods sake! And you’re the best baby sitter on the planet, hands down. You’re the most amazing person I know, Steve, and I know there’s other’s that feel the exact same way,” you state, smiling at him.
He looks at you silent for a moment, visibly thinking your words over.
“Besides, colleges are just a scam to trap us with student loans for the rest of our lives, enslaving us to the capitalistic world. And I’m not just saying that because my parents raised me to ‘stick it to the man’,” you say, and Steve laughs at that which makes your heart swell.
“What would I do without you?” he says sincerely, eyes looking into your’s with so much adoration that it makes your stomach do flips.
God, the effect that man has on you.
You kiss his forehead and his eyes close as he hums. “Hopefully you never have to find out,” you say with a wink, and he watches you move away from him with a dazed smile on his face.
With it being summer and all, you and Steve decide to both get jobs together at the Starcourt mall.
It was honestly not Steve’s decision per say, his dad forced him to get a ‘crappy mall job’ so he can ‘teach him a lesson’ on what happens to people who are ‘too stupid’ to get into college.
Those were his exact words. Sadly.
“Do you know how embarrassing that is? To have a dumbass for a son? What are you even good for, huh? You’re nothing but a disappointment. To me. To your mother. To everyone who has ever made the mistake of caring for you.”
His dad’s condescending words did a number on Steve, but you were right by his side, healing his wounds and giving him the encouragement and love he deserved.
“I love you so much. So, so much. And one day he’s going to realize that you’re a much better man the he will ever be,” you had said that night, both of you laying in your bed as you stroked Steve’s hair and held him in your arms as he cried silently on your chest.
That was the first time you had seen Steve cry, and though he resisted at first, your reassurance and kindness was enough to get him to let his guard down.
The next day he’s back to being all Steve-like, of course, not acknowledging last nights events, but you know that’s it’s a part of his process. You make sure to give him extra love and attention that day, and although he doesn’t tell you, he’s incredibly grateful.
Steve ends up getting a job at ‘Scoops Ahoy’, an ice cream shop at the food court, and you get one at ‘Tape World’, a music store on the second floor of the mall.
The best part? It was right across from Scoops Ahoy. So if you ever wanted to, you could poke your head out the store and wave at Steve (which you constantly do and he happily returns).
You’re the one thing keeping him going on the days when he feels like he’s going to explode. Especially since his coworker, Robin, seems to get her kicks out of humiliating him every chance she gets.
Despite this, you actually like Robin. You think she’s funny and has great taste in style and she gives you free ice cream when Steve is busy doing something in the back whenever you stop by.
“I still can’t believe you’re actually dating her, Harrington. You do realize she’s too cool for you, right?” Robin says one day as you walk out of the ice cream parlor.
Steve watches you walk away with a love sick smile, hand under his chin as he leans on the counter. “Yeah. I do,” he admits, Robin rolling her eyes at him.
Ew.
You actually end up liking your job at Tape World due to your love for music, but also because you’re coworker is a certain dark haired, d&d loving, rock & roll rebel.
Eddie Munson is the coolest person you have ever met and you’re genuinely surprised by how you both clicked so easily.
You knew him in school as Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson, but you never really cared for labels as your given title of ‘The Loser’ made you very aware of how bogus they were. So you’re more than open minded about getting to know Eddie and you both end up bonding over your love for horror movies and your favorite bands.
He even introduces you to music you never heard before and lets you borrow his copy of ‘Lord of The Rings’ when you mention something about wanting to read a good book.
“So, you and Harrington, huh? What’s it like infiltrating the high and mighty of Hawkins High?” he asks one day as you organize a stack of tapes into their respected bins.
“Oh it’s insane. Did you know they have their own private bathroom with like a bathroom attendant? Along with a horse drawn carriage that takes them to and from classes. It’s crazy,” you joke with a mock scandalous tone.
“I knew it. Those bastards,” Eddie teases back and you both chuckle.
“Nah, Steve is just…he’s different. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he was a real fucking asshole for like 80% of the time he was there, but he was just being a stupid, insecure teenage. We can all be assholes when we’re insecure. Turns out though, he’s the most kindest, pure hearted person I know. And it’s like..he actually sees me, you know? I feel seen when I’m with him. And I’ve never really felt that way before,” you confess, teeth sinking into your lower lip, a little embarrassed by how honest you were.
Eddie, however, doesn’t make you feel ashamed at your vulnerability and instead gives you a small, understanding smile. “Yeah, I get it.”
He reaches down to the box in your hands and grabs a couple of tapes, helping you sort them as he says “But if Harrington ever breaks your heart, I’m going to make sure he doesn’t see anything ever again,” he states and you bump your shoulder into his playfully, the both of you cracking up.
Meanwhile, Steve gets involved in Dustin’s plan to translate a ‘secret Russian code’ he overheard on his ‘cerebro’.
Robin also becomes a part of it, able to crack the code in less than a day, but Steve refuses to let you in on what they’re doing, promising himself that if he were ever able to spare you from potential dangerous situations, he would.
This unfortunately starts to create a bit of tension between you and Steve, because when you would visit him at work now, he would act incredibly fidgety and suspicious.
You were starting to think that maybe he was starting to pull away from you. ‘Maybe King Steve is over with experimenting with The Loser,” the voice in your head, which sounded a lot like Carol, said. But you try to pay no mind to it because that’s absolutely ridiculous and you know Steve loves you.
…He loves you, right?
“Hey, so umm…they’re playing that new movie tonight. The one with the DeLorean time machine, and I was thinking we can go watch it. Like a date night?” you suggest, leaning over the counter, eyes on Steve.
You see his face twitch, a mixture of pity and guilt, before he plasters on that ‘Harrington smile’. “I’m sorry, babe. I can’t. I have to stay late tonight to…to..”
You frown at him, knowing very well that he’s searching for any possible excuse to give you. He seems to notice that you’re on to him and is about to drop the act altogether until Robin chimes in, emerging from the back room.
“To clean the freezer in the back! Yeah, dingus over here accidentally disconnected it this morning and all the ice cream that was in there melted. Huge mess. It’s like, an ice cream massacre in there,” she states, feigning annoyance, but you see right through it.
“Mhm. Totally,” you say dryly, not trying to hide your disbelief. You to turn to walk away but Steve grabs at your wrist.
“Hey, we can watch it tomorrow? I’m off at 5. And after we can go to the fair and then watch the fireworks. It’ll be the perfect date night, I promise,” he says, eyes almost pleading with you to accept as his thumb rubs smooth circles onto your wrist.
You watch him in silence for a moment, chewing on your bottom lip before mustering up the tiniest smile. “Sure. Tomorrow sounds good.”
The smile isn’t convincing and Steve feels his chest drop as you slip your hand out of his grip, walking off without a proper goodbye.
He’s completely distracted by the thought of you all day, causing him to be more tightly wound up than usual. He even manages to snap at Robin, which throws her off because despite her constant teasing, Steve has not once been genuinely upset by it.
“I’m sorry, it’s just…I really can’t lose her,” Steve confesses to Robin when she asks him about it. “She’s the greatest thing in my entire life and if I lose her over this stupid Russian thing then I’m going to lose myself,” he says with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.
“Look, I know I said she’s too cool for you, and although that is true, she’s clearly head over heels for you. I just think she’s a bit weirded out over how off you’ve been acting. She can tell you’re hiding something from her. Maybe it’s better if you just tell her the truth.”
Steve immediately shakes his head. “No, I can’t. Because if I do then she’s going to want to be involved and she’s infuriatingly hard headed and as long as I’m a part of this, she’s going to want be too, no matter what I say. And I’m not putting her through danger. Not again.”
Truth is, ever since last fall, when Billy Hargrove broke your arm, he’s been living with the guilt of it being his fault. If he wasn’t so pathetic, then Billy would have never gotten into the house and hurt you the way he did. Your screams replayed in his head most nights, along with the voice of his dad letting him know that he was a disappointment to everyone who has ever made the mistake of caring for him.
You made the mistake of loving him. Which was even worse.
That night Steve, Robin, Dustin, and now Erica, are fully involved in their plan but become trapped in a secret elevator overnight and then kidnapped by Russian soldiers.
It’s in the interrogation room that Steve realizes that’s he’s probably not going to make it to your date.
As if that should be his biggest worry at the moment.
The truth is, Steve could be at the brink of death, and his thoughts would still be on you.
He pictures you in his mind as the soldiers torture him relentlessly. He thinks of your smile and the way your eyes light up when your excited and how you make him laugh more than he has his entire life and how your lips on his make him feel like the luckiest person in the world.
His eye is swollen and he’s spitting up blood but he still doesn’t break because you’re the one he’s doing this for. He’s not going to let you down this time.
When he passes out finally, he’s put into a room with Robin. Flash forward to the drugs they were given and the alarm going off right before Steve’s nail is pulled, and the gang finally escapes once Dustin and Erica come to their rescue.
They escape and take refuge inside the movie theatre where they’re seated coincidentally at the movie you wanted to watch.
“Hey! This is the movie y/n wanted to see! Where is she ?!” he shouts, and the audience shushes him harshly as Robin turns around to shush them back.
“They’re all just jealous. Ignore them,” she reassures him, crossing her arms across her chest as she sinks into her seat. “In fact, I’m kinda jealous too…” she mutters in her stoned stupor.
Steve is high as a kite and he knows it but he swears he sees you walking up the aisle and exiting the theatre so he decides to follow you out. Robin in tow, of course.
It’s not you, to the disappointment of Steve, and he actually lets out a whine of disappointment. He’s about to run around to find you (because he absolutely must apologize and explain that he didn’t ditch you, he just got kidnapped and tortured by Russians) until he gets distracted by the lights on the ceiling. They leave Robin mesmerized as well, but they both eventually get dizzy and dash to the bathroom to puke.
“God, I’m gonna lose her, aren’t I,” Steve says in between dry heaves. He hears the sound of the toilet in the stall next to him flush before Robin speaks up. “So what if you do? You’ll just move on to the next like you always do.” she claims and Steve frowns.
“It doesn’t work like that when you’re in love, Robin.” he says and there’s a pause from her. “You..love her? Like, for real?”
“Yeah. I do. I mean, I thought I was in love once before, but now I know I was wrong. This is what love really feels like, and I would rather be tied up in a chair and have my face bashed in again then lose it. I’m…I’m gonna marry her someday,” he reveals, leaning his back against the stall door.
“Wow. I just always thought that guys like you took that for granted. The fact that you can openly love whoever you want. I mean, you’re Steve Harrington. Your with a new girl every semester.”
“Maybe. But that’s not who I am anymore,” he answers simply. “And what do you mean I can openly love whoever I want? You can do that too, you know,” he says and his brows furrowed when there’s no response from her.
“Robin?” He chooses to slide into her stall and catches Robin sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees, back to the wall.
“That’s the thing. I can’t. I don’t know if I ever will.”
He eyes her, confused. Robin goes on to explain exactly why she was jealous of Steve back in school, and it all clicks for him.
The fear in her eyes are evident and there’s a tense moment of silence as she can visibly see Steve process it all before he finally responds.
“I mean, yeah. Tammy Thompson, you know, she’s cute and all, but…she’s a total dud.”
And the conversation surprisingly ends with them laughing and singing like muppets and Robin decides that she was wrong when she said you’re too cool for Steve.
Turns out, he’s pretty cool too.
Meanwhile, after accepting that Steve wasn’t going to make it to the movie, you had been walking around the mall when you realized you had forgotten your Walkman at work.
“Shit,” you muttered as you looked at your watch, realizing that the mall was closing. Thankfully, you had a key to the store and was sure your manager wouldn’t mind if you just really quickly grabbed your Walkman and left.
You do exactly that, making sure not to move anything out of place, but just as you finish locking the gate, you hear a car going off. “What the..” as you lean over the railing to see what’s going on, you notice a car lifting up the the air and barreling towards a group of men holding guns.
“What the hell!” you shout, and you suddenly see familiar faces looking across from you on the first floor.
“Y/n!” Steve calls out to you, and you immediately run down to the first floor, eyes widening when you see the state of Steve’s face. “Steve! Oh my gosh, what the hell happened?!” you say as you bolt towards him, immediately caressing his face in your hands, checking his injuries.
“Hey, I’m ok, I promise. It’s a long story involving Russians and a silver cat and a secret elevator but I need you to know that the reason why I’ve been acting so weird lately is because I didn’t want to get you involved,” he admits, words rushing out of him like word vomit.
You look overwhelmed and confused for a moment, but just as you’re about to respond, the rest of the gang shows up, including Jonathan who you immediately envelop in a hug.
“You’re crushing me,” Jonathan states, but you shake your head, ignoring him. “I feel like I haven’t seen you all summer,” you state, and he chuckles softly as he embraces you back. “Yeah, I know.”
After pulling away, you hear the rest of the group get reacquainted, listening to every detail you so obviously missed before this. Just as you’re about to ask Steve to elaborate further, Eleven collapses on the ground.
Turns out the Mind Flayer was back and it has possessed Billy Hargrove and taken victims from Hawkins. While battling it, a piece of the Mind Flayer had gotten inside of Eleven and now it needed to be taken out. You watch in disgust as Jonathan attempts to cut it out of her, but Eleven finishes the job herself, levitating it out of her leg and throwing it on the other side of the room.
That’s where Joyce, Hopper, and Murray come in.
As Eleven rests and the rest of the gang plan out their next move, you take the time to confront Steve.
“I just don’t understand why you would keep something from me. Russians or no Russians, we’re supposed to tell each other everything,” you state, clearly hurt.
“I know, and I’m sorry, but I knew this would put you in danger. And I honestly can’t imagine what it would have been like knowing you were in the same situation as I was. I don’t want you to ever get hurt again. Not if I can stop it,” he explains, and your brows furrow.
“Is this about what happened that night. With…with Billy?” you ask, swallowing down the lump in your throat.
Steve looks at you with sad eyes, confirming your suspicions. “I will never let something like that happen to you again. I couldn’t stop it then but I will now,” he promises and your chest aches.
“Steve…I love you. And I love how much you care about me. But you can’t keep things from me, or lie to me in order to do that. You need to let me make my own decisions. You need to trust me,” you say, eyes pleading with him. He looks at you with his big brown eyes and that look that makes you want to melt. You’re the most important person in the world to him and you can feel it when he looks at you that way.
“Okay. I trust you,” he says and leans in to kiss you gently. Your hand instinctively cups his cheek as the kiss deepens but he pulls away with a small hiss.
“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, I forgot,” you say, hands over your mouth as you remember the state of his face. He chuckles and kisses the top of your nose, reassuring you that it was ok.
“Steve, come on! We gotta go!” Dustin calls out to him, and Steve grabs your hand, ready to lead you with him, but you pull away. “Actually, I’m gonna stay with Jonathan and Nancy and the rest of the kids,” you state.
You can see the way his mouth is ready to protest but you flash him a pleading look and he immediately drops whatever he was going to say. Instead he sighs and wraps his arms around you in a tight embrace. “Just promise you’ll be careful. No putting yourself in stupid, risky situations for no reason, ok?” he asks and you smile softly, nodding and hugging him back. “I promise.”
When the group separates, you, Jonathan, and Nancy work on getting the car started out in the parking lot. You get in the drivers seat while Nancy and Jonathan check the engine.
“Hey, you didn’t have to stay with me and Nancy, you know,” Jonathan begins to say, approaching you. “You could have gone with Steve if you wanted. We coulda done this by ourselves,” he reassures you, hands scratching at the back of his neck.
“Maybe, but I need to make sure that my best friend survives the night. Especially since we have movie night coming up on Friday and it’s my turn to choose,” and he chuckles at this. “Hey, you know I love you, right? And you’re like so important to me and I’m just sorry that this summer we have haven’t been able to hang out as much as we used to, but you’re still my best friend and I wouldn’t ever want to los-“
“I love you too,” he interrupts, giving you a sincere smile that lights up his eyes. You smile back.
“Dork,” he mutters under his breath and you snort, flicking your middle finger at him jokingly until a roar of an engine catches both your attention.
As if meant to interrupt all the peace and happiness you’d been feeling after days of anxiety, Billy Hargrove is seated in his car, engine sputtering and roaring like an animal ready to pounce. Even from inside the car you can see his deranged expression, the anger in his eyes. You were let in on the fact that the Mind Flayer had possessed Billy, but it still didn’t lessen the hatred you had for him.
You abort the original plan and run back inside of the mall, where Jonathan attempts to start the car that Elven had thrown at the Russian soldiers. But then the Mind Flayer literally crashes in and ruins any hope of getting that thing to start.
Meanwhile, Dustin’s trying desperately to get in contact with you all but to no avail. This causes Steve to grow anxious, knowing that if no one was answering, then something was very wrong.
He runs off with Robin to go back to the mall to try to save you all, praying to the universe that you were fine and he would make it in time.
You all eventually manage to escape out of the mall, but you notice that Billy is still outside in his car, ready to drive right into you all.
Nancy orders Jonathan to start the car and the kids pile up inside, but as you look towards Billy, all you can do is remember that night at the Byers’ house, when he grabbed your arm and slammed you into the table. When he put his filthy tongue on your neck. When he said those awful words to you. When he made you feel so helpless and weak; a feeling you never wanted to experience again in your life.
You spent months with a cast after he broke your arm, a constant reminder of that terrible feeling. You knew it was the reason why Steve saw you differently now. Why he feels the need to protect you so much.
You refused to be seen as weak ever again. You will not let Billy get his way.
Nancy is screaming at you to get inside as she stands with her gun pointed towards Billy, but you don’t move an inch.
“Nancy, give me the gun,” you demand.
“What?! Are you out of your mind right now?!” she shouts, looking at you as if you grew an extra head.
“Nancy, just give me the gun and get in the fucking car!” you bark and something flashes in her eyes as she looks at you and then back at Billy.
Understanding.
She gives you the gun as she heads to the passenger side of the car and you stand with your hand on the trigger. Billy starts the car, speeding towards you and you immediately shoot. Bullet after bullet pierces through the glass but he continues to accelerate towards you. Despite the fact that he’s most definitely going to crash into you, you stand your ground to the very end, and just as he’s about to hit you, a car suddenly crashes right into him, forcing him out of the way.
You watch with wide eyes as you realize that the driver of the car that saved your lives was Steve, and you let out a sigh of relief before racing towards the trunk for you to sit in. Nancy drives over to Steve and Robin so they can get in, just as the Mind Flayer appears once more.
Once inside the trunk, you embrace Steve, who’s quick to embrace you back but not before exclaiming “you broke your promise! this is exactly what I meant by not putting yourself in stupid, risky situations!”
You all watch anxiously as the Mind Flayer tries to gain on you all, but the sound of Dustin and his very much real girlfriend Susie singing ‘Never Ending Story’ on the walkie is a welcomed mood changer. Despite everyone giving you a strange look for singing along. “Oh please, don’t act like you don’t know it,” you state with a roll of your eyes.
You all make it back to the mall and see the Mind Flayer collapse, a sign that the gate was successfully closed, which signaled the end of all this. You spot Max hovering over Billy’s body, understanding that he hadn’t survived. Although your anger towards Billy over what he did to you may never go away, you wouldn’t wish death upon anyone, and your heart ached for Max and her loss.
That night, you stay over at Steve’s. His parents are gone for the week and you’re both very clearly out of a job given the destruction of the mall, so the night turns into a few days and you spend your time holding one another, crying, healing, and trying to enjoy one another’s company.
Along with the death of Billy, you were all informed that Hopper did not make it either, and with that, the Byers’ were moving out of Hawkins and all the way to California. Which meant that the only people who made you feel like you had an actual family, were leaving you.
Steve reassured you that they wouldn’t be gone from your life and that you could always go and visit during breaks and holidays. And although you knew that was a possibility, it still didn’t lessen the pain you felt at once again having someone leave.
“Steve?” you call out to him softly, your head laying on his chest as his arms held you. “Yes?” he murmurs into your hair. “Promise you won’t leave me?” you ask, voice watery as tears trailed down your cheeks.
Steve immediately lifts his head up, causing you to do the same in order to look into his eyes. “Never. I will never leave you. I promise,” he swears, and the look in his eyes tells you he means it.
“Hey, I know what will make you feel better,” he says after a moment of laying in silence together. He gets up from the bed and turns on his cassette player, the opening chords of ‘Separate Ways’ by Journey plays and you sit up from the bed, raising a brow at him. “Really?”
“It’s your favorite song,” he claims as he air guitars and a smile breaks out on your face as you giggle. “No, that’s your favorite song.”
“Mine? Are you sure?” he asks, and he walks over to you and grabs your hands pulling you out of the bed with him.
“Here we stand
Worlds apart, hearts broken in two, two, two”
He sings to you and you’re a giggling mess, Steve laughing along with you before head banging as he begins to bounce up and down, moving your arms around with him.
“Feelin' that it's gone
Could change your mind
If we can't go on
To survive the tide, love divides”
Steve’s energy is contagious and you can’t help but sing along with him, both of you jumping up on the bed and shouting out the words to one another.
“Someday, love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched and went our separate ways
If he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
You know I still love you
Though we touched and went our separate ways”
Steve grabs onto you and makes you both fall onto the bed. You squeal, a mess of giggles as he lays several kisses on your face. “I love you,” he says, forehead resting against yours.
“I love you,” you recite back, gazing at him with pure adoration. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Just the two of you in your own little world. A world where nothing or no one could hurt you.
Little did you know, there was something lurking around the corner, getting ready to deliver more hurt than you could possibly imagine.
“Though we touched and went our separate ways”
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thenon-fictiondays · 3 years ago
Text
ok i know I've never posted anything about this fandom before but i know there's a lot of confusion in the sabikui fandom about who the kid on the cover of volume 8 is and im doing some digging so lemme take yall on a JOURNEY (spoilers for LN obvs)
so I know a lot of people have been hoping that this kid is a Milo-Bisco Iovechild and pointing out stuff like the blue highlights in the kid's hair, and referencing sources saying they raise a child together. This post may come as a bit of a disappointment in some ways particular for the shippers but like....I promise that whatever you're imagining, this is gonna be a wild ride.
so I was looking at some stuff online and came across an article on some of the plot points from the novel according to some of the readers (meaning ofc that the info is only as accurate as the readers' interpretation and translation skills) that Bisco and Pawoo get married and have a kid. Presumably, this kid
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given that she looks exactly like Bisco and her name is listed as Akaboshi Sugar. So I was just assuming that she's Bisco and Pawoo's kid and Milo helps Bisco raise her bc.....thats what makes the most sense?? So when the sources said 'Bisco and Milo's child' what they meant was the child that they raise together. BUT. I was talking to my friend about it bc she's the one who dragged me into this fandom, and she found a summary of the volume in jpn. Now, the summary states that Pawoo is pregnant.......but it also explicitly states that Milo delivers a baby. It doesnt just say that they HAVE a kid, it says that Milo gives birth. Cue me and my friend losing our minds.
but wait there's more!
after we're done freaking out in DMs Im going about my day but in my head is just wtf wtf Milo has a baby wtf and then 3 hours later it hits me
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yeah, Im dumb. this makes 8000x more sense. (But like....the word the desc used is 出産 and I've never seen that used to describe someone else helping someone to deliver a baby.) My friend and I are debating, she thinks that the kid might belong to the other Akaboshi (sexy dreds lady pictured above), I think its Pawoo's and Bisco's and we got queerbaited hard. My friend does some more digging and finds a reddit thread with commenters saying it actually IS Milo's kid via some kinda mushroom magic. I'm like please god let this be true I want this to be true so bad. but at the same time.....this is still shounen and I'm 99.99% sure society hasnt advanced far enough to allow this level of queerness in shounen. At this point we're like, okay we gotta read the novel and find out wtf is going on. So my friend bought it online and I get to work reading (ok, skimming).
First thing of note: Pawoo is indeed pregnant with Bisco's child...and by child I mean mushroom half-god half-human. Don't ask me what this means or how it works.
Second thing of note: Milo asks Akutagawa for baby names (this actually has nothing to do with anything i just thought it was really cute jdhjsjk)
at this point im like ok cool whatever the mushroom magic probs refers to the apparently super-powered mushroom baby Pawoo is carrying. Except...
Third thing of note: Milo has apparently been experiencing morning sickness. Well, it's not explicitly called morning sickness, but he's been having the same pregnancy symptoms as Pawoo and hasn't been able to find a medical cause. He's also been hiding it from Bisco so as not to worry him. Supposedly, it's a side effect of being imbued by Bisco's life force??
Fourth thing of note: Eventually he's struck with intense stomach pains and yells that there's something in his stomach. At this point I was highkey skimming bc it was very late and I had a headache, but a few pages later a child has appeared.
so.........................................yeah I think Milo just gave birth to Bisco's child
I guess I'm spending my day off doing a closer reading to try to fill in some of these gaps, lmk if anyones interested in an update 😅
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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years ago
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Can I request HSP + depression reader (who thinks they are just weak and being crybaby) x Bucky, please? I understand you are super busy right now and I didn’t mean to rush you or anything but I'm just struggling with both HSP and depression and couldn’t help but send it right now. No need to hurry, just when you are free and maybe when you had nothing to write. Thank you and I love you!
Thank you for the request, I’m sorry it’s been a difficult time for you! I’m here if you need me and I hope that this helps!!! 
It’s called empathy
Bucky x reader
Word count: 1981
Warnings: depression, HSP (highly sensitive person), low self worth, negative self talk, swearing (that’s normal for me but this one’s a little extra), angst (more so internal idk if that needs a warning), fluff/comfort
Taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @barnesplums @peggycarter-steverogers @mardema @abitgryffindorky @buckys-blue-eyes @strawberrimae @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes @bucks-bunny @broadwaybabe18 @im-sick-of-failing
Taglist     Masterlist
--------------
Breathe in
Breathe out
In 
Out 
...in…
You felt a tear escape your eyes
Goddamn it
You didn’t want to cry, you couldn’t let yourself. It was stupid, it was just some shitty remark from someone when they were in a shitty mood, it wasn’t your fault, all that bullshit you tried to tell yourself. It never worked.
You were trying to control your breathing, looking up at the ceiling trying to will the tears away, biting your lip. You would not cry, not over this. Not over something that wasn’t worth your tears
Not when you didn’t even know what exactly you were crying over. 
Yet here you were, gripping the edge of the bathroom sink with white knuckles, looking up at the ceiling trying to keep the tears at bay. And it wasn’t working.
Weak sensitive piece of shit. 
What good were you to the team if you cry in the bathroom like a baby every time something remotely stressful happens? People usually cry when they're in pain or when they’re grieving - the only excuse you had was you were stressed or sad. 
You felt another few tears escape and you angrily swiped them away, cursing yourself for being so weak. 
You hated this, you hated yourself. You were so numb most of the time, especially when you were alone. You found yourself alone in your room with racing thoughts feeling like you were falling apart. Yet when you were alone you could only stare at the ceiling wondering if it would get any worse. 
The answer was usually yes.
Whenever you would go on missions with the team, you were able to push aside your stress. You had a job to do and you would do it. But when the mission was over and you were walking back through the rubble - seeing all the blood, destruction, fear - then it would start to get to you. You would panic, you would feel tears cloud your vision. Tears for those you were leaving behind, and those who had nowhere to go, those who lost someone. That was understandable. 
It seemed to affect you more than the others though. It was understandable to be moved by so much destruction. But for you everyone felt like someone you had known and loved. 
You could feel the grief in those left behind, feel the sadness and pain that they were going through. 
The same was true when you weren’t on missions. When those who were on them would come back. Whether they were injured or their eyes were saddened - you knew when a mission was rough. You would listen, you would be there for people. It was easy to talk to you, and you were very wise. 
But it still overwhelmed you. You couldn’t say no, you didn’t want to. You wanted to help but it would be so emotionally taxing for you. So behind closed doors, you would break. Be there for others, listen when they need to talk, others come first - you took their emotional pain onto yourself. 
You were grateful that you could help - but in the process it was hurting you. 
You allowed yourself to feel sad when you were alone in your room. No one could see you be weak in the dark of your room. But you never cried much just from the pure exhaustion of your thoughts. Sometimes you wanted to, just feeling so incredibly empty that you just wanted to have an ugly crying session curled up in bed.
But you didn’t get to make that choice.
The crying wouldn’t come until the absolute worst times. If you had messed up on a mission, if Tony said something a little too harshly because to him everything was a joke, seeing something gruesome on a mission- whenever it came to someone else getting involved, the tears would come. Hell sometimes even being overwhelmed in public would be enough to start the waterworks. 
You always felt so fucking weak for it. The slightest environmental stressor could stress you out too much and move you to tears. You had no reason to be upset most of the time. But you would get angry at yourself for being upset, which would make you more upset that you couldn’t control it, making it harder to control.
It was a vicious cycle.
Lately it had been popping up more and more recently. Smaller things were upsetting you more than usual. You were becoming more sensitive to external stimuli and as a result, you spent as much time as you could in your room. You were embarrassed by yourself. Both by your emotions and by your inability to control them. 
This time you were just upset that you were upset. It had been a long night the day prior, just a lot of paperwork to do. There had been a mission earlier this week that you hadn’t been assigned to, but it had been brutal for everyone who had gone. So far today had been a normal day by anyone’s terms, an emotionally exhausting one for you. One of those where you woke up tired and the thoughts of another day were enough to draw you to tears. Nothing had even happened, but apparently nothing needed to happen. 
Your emotions came and went without your consent. 
You knew deep down it was probably some sort of emotional build up - that whole quote about bottling things up until they got to be too much - it happened every time but you still thought you could handle yourself better than that. You didn’t want to vent or be a problem to anyone. But when you are the emotional support for most of the team and you haven’t been able to get enough sleep or take time for yourself - you didn’t have much of a say as to when the bottle overflows.
A few more tears fell and you slammed your hand on the counter, wiping your tears angrily once more. “God fucking damn it why can’t you just stop fucking crying!” you exclaimed, feeling a few more tears falling “Weak piece of shit!” 
There was knocking on the door, pulling you out of your self deprecating thoughts. You gasped lightly, wiping your face again. 
Knock knock
You jumped a little, gasping slightly. No one was supposed to be here, it was the middle of the night. 
“Y/n? What’s going on in there? Are you alright?”
You took a shaky breath. Of course it would be Bucky who heard you. Why would it be anyone else?
“I’m fine Bucky, it’s late, you should go to sleep.”
“Then why are you still awake?” Bucky responded. You heard him sigh a little outside the door. “Come out here and tell me you’re okay.”
“Really Bucky?”
“Unless you want me to come in there, but I don’t think Stark would appreciate me breaking your door.”
You took a small breath and walked over to the door, opening it. You crossed your arms and met Bucky’s concerned eyes. “I’m fine, Bucky.”
Bucky sighed, taking in your appearance. Red eyes, flushed face, your hair was messy - you were definitely crying. He hated when you wouldn’t admit that you weren’t ok. “You know you don’t have to be, right?”
You clenched your jaw, trying to keep fresh tears from clouding your vision. “What?”
“You say you’re fine, you always say that you’re fine until you break. I heard you crying, I can see that you’re not feeling okay yet still you try to keep a brave face. And I just want you to know that you don’t have to always be okay.”
You let out a breath. “I - i…” you looked down and shook your head, lost for words. 
“Y/n, I’m not here to judge you. Can you try to tell me what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” you said looking up at him “It’s literally so stupid, Bucky.”
“Y/n, nothing you say right now is going to sound stupid. 
You shrugged your shoulders, still not quite meeting his eyes. “I don’t know, I just get so worked up sometimes, but it’s stupid. I tell myself I’m not going to be bothered and then I freak out again. The smallest things bother me and I get stressed out and then I cry like some stupid weak bitch. People have it worse than me, God, you have it worse than me. Everyone here has some sort of traumatic awful thing happen to them and then there’s me and I get sad because I see other people sad,” you were crying again and you wiped at your face, covering your eyes. “God Im so fucking stupid I -”
Bucky pulled you into his chest as you let out a sob. “You’re not stupid, y/n.”
“YES I AM. I get worked up over the smallest shit, I don’t listen when people tell me to take breaks, I take everything too personally and I can’t stop fucking crying when I don’t even know what the fuck is wrong!” you exclaimed, trying to push yourself away, ashamed.
Bucky held you tightly, not letting you go. “That’s not your fault. It’s not up to you how your feelings show up.”
“But I cry at the most stupid shit and I can’t control it.”
“You’re not supposed to know how to control it,” he said, pulling back to look at you. “Emotions can’t be controlled. They just happen and it’s rarely convenient.”
“Then why do I feel so weak? If this,” you gestured to yourself “is so goddamn normal then why isn’t everyone else breaking down every other day?” 
Bucky brushed some hair out of your face. “Your emotions are yours, no one else’s. No one has the right to tell you how to feel. Think of it this way - you can’t expect everyone to have the same amount of strength or stamina - no one has the same emotional response either. And that doesn’t make you weak, it makes you you.”
You shook your head. “I just feel so weak all the time.” 
“And I’m here to remind you that crying isn’t weak. You are not a weak person, you are not a bad person, you’re not any of those things your mind tells you. You’re a kind and thoughtful person. You put your heart into everything you do. You help everyone you can. Mourning someone else’s loss isn’t weakness. It’s called empathy.”
You took a small breath. “Then why does it hurt so goddamn much?”
“”I don’t know. And I can’t say for certain that you won’t always feel that way. But I know I can tell you that you aren’t weak, and I’ll be here every time you feel that you are.” 
You nodded your head slightly. “You don’t think I’m weak?” you asked quietly.
He pulled you back into a hug. “Not in the slightest, y/n.”
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slasherhaven · 4 years ago
Note
I dont think ive see smth like this in your blog and im really sorry if im crossing a line, you dont have to do this but if you could, could you do vincent and any other slashers youd like with a unplanned pregnant s/o? Like they werent expecting it, how would they react? Im sorry again if this is too specific and out of your comfort zone!
The Slashers’ and their S/O reacting to an unplanned pregnancy:
Thomas Hewitt
A pregnancy can only be good news to Thomas (unless you know it’s going to put your health at risk).
He noticed that something wasn’t right but you both just thought you were sick. It was Luda May that pulled you to the side, telling you that you might be pregnant.
But you both agreed to not tell Thomas until you had taken a test and were positive, you didn’t want him to freak out over nothing.
When you tell him, you are nervous about his reaction since neither of you had talked about it. Even if Luda May had been hinting about grandchildren.
But as soon as you tell Thomas that you’re having his child, he is overjoyed!
He wants to be a father, to have a little family of his own. So what if it wasn’t planned? That doesn’t matter, he still wants this.
He’s smiling, placing a large hand on your stomach (even though you aren’t showing yet).
If you’re still worried about this unexpected turn of events, he would be there to comfort you and reassure you. Don’t worry, Y/n. He’s going to take good care of you and your child.
Michael Myers
You had every reason to be nervous about telling Michael about your pregnancy. You loved him, you really did, and you knew that he loved you but he wasn’t the most...nurturing person.
You really didn’t know what he would think or how he would react. 
Even if you don’t think he’s the monster people think he is, a part of you worries that he’d just leave if he decided this wasn’t what he wanted.
But you had to tell him, he was going to find out eventually anyway.
Just as usual, your announcement is met with stoicism. The emotionless mask doesn’t help either. But this is one of the main reasons he wears the mask, so nobody can guess what he is thinking.
He wonders if you’re scared that they’ll turn out like him. Would you love them anyway, just like you love him?
He decides that he’s not going to be a good father (whether that’s true or not is a possibly debatable) but he also decides that he is staying put.
You’re going to be caring for this child, right? 
You do notice that he’s much more gentle with you at all times. Maybe he cares more than he likes to show...
Jason Voorhees
You weren’t all that nervous about telling Jason about the pregnancy, you knew he would be there for you both and you knew he would be a good father.
When you told him, Jason definitely had to sit down. You’re pregnant? You’re both having a child. 
This is big news! His mother would be so proud!
After wrapping his head around it, Jason will pull you into an embrace. He’s going to be good for you, Y/n!
He hadn’t thought about starting a family with you until now but he quickly decides that he likes the idea lot. He likes the idea of raising a child with you, of being a father. 
And he’s going to do his absolute best to be the best father for his child. He’s excited to be taking this step with you.
Time to babyproof the cabin!
Brahms Heelshire
Brahms had noticed that something was right, he thought that you were sick. You did at first but eventually you realised what might actually be happening. So, you got a pregnancy test in the next delivery.
You didn’t want to say anything to Brahms until you were completely sure.
Turns out, you were pregnant and now you had to tell Brahms.
He’s not too pleased at first...neither of you had talked about this, he hadn’t even thought about having children. He doesn’t like surprises and he doesn’t like that he’s going to have to compete for your attention.
He might even sulk about it but he’ll slowly come around to it.
You’re having his child...you’re going to be parents...together...maybe this isn’t so bad.
He definitely needs some time to warm up to the idea but he will eventually, probably reluctantly apologising for how he acted.
Bo Sinclair
Haha, good joke...
...you are joking right? Right, Y/n?!
Well...okay, he guesses. It’s not like he could do anything about it now.
He’s going to pull away from you slightly at first, because he’s doubting his own capabilities as a father. He isn’t meant to have a partner, he isn’t meant to have a kids, a family, any of this...and yet here you were.
He stop pulling away eventually and make up for it. However, he becomes more attentive, more protective. Is pretty much going to try to turn you into a housewife type of partner. 
But it’s not like he’s going to be doing all the chores just because you’re pregnant.
If you’re down for that, great! If not, just tell him to relax. You’re pregnant, not dying. 
He’ll ‘deal with it’ but warms up to the idea more and more as the pregnancy progresses.
Vincent Sinclair
Is he surprised and worried about his abilities as a father? Completely. 
Is he going to let that get in the way of doing the best he can? Definitely not.
He’s in awe of you. He loves you so much and you love him, you’re going to have his child...
Just places his hands on your stomach even though you’re not showing yet, there is a baby in there, his baby. God, he loves you so much.
He hadn’t thought about children, this definitely wasn’t planned but if he was given the choice to change it, he wouldn’t even consider it.
He going to be pretty anxious about it though. Both for the future and wondering if his child will like him, but also for the present. He’s so worried about you getting hurt, he fusses over you all the time, but it’s sweet.
Lester Sinclair
You told him just after you found out, when he had come home and didn’t have anything else to distract him. You could just sit down and tell him and the two of you could talk about it for as long as you needed too.
Gets a little frantic when you tell him.
First he’s pulling you into a kiss because: this is great news! He’s going to be a dad! And you’re the one having his baby! He couldn’t be more thrilled!
But then he’s holding you at arms length, eyes wide as he asks you if he can do this.
He goes through every emotion in the book in under a minute. Just let him go through it and once he’s calmed down, assure him that he’s going to be a great dad.
Because he will be!!!
Bubba Sawyer
Raising a child in the Sawyer household would be chaotic to say the least and that was probably the main cause of your anxiety, since you knew Bubba would try his absolute best to be an amazing father and to be there for you.
You need to collect yourself before you tell him, because you’re going to need to calm him down and reassure him.
When you tell him, he is going to freak out a little. He’s just worried about what this means, are you going to be okay, is he going to be a good father, this house isn’t safe for a child!
Once you’ve calmed him down, he’ll actually be pretty excited about the idea of having a child.
The two of you will have your own little family! 
He’s going to give you lots of hugs and kisses while babbling happily, he loves you so much and can’t wait to have this baby now!
Billy Lenz
You knew this was going to be messy. Billy hadn’t exactly shown many signs of responsibility at all and he doesn’t really seem like the fatherly type. Not that he doesn’t have the love to give, you know he does. Just the idea of him raising a child...it’s not something that either of you considered.
But you were definitely pregnant, it was definitely Billy’s baby, and you were definitely going to have to tell him.
When you do tell him, he panics.
He can’t be a father! What?!
Yeah, he’s really freaking out. You’re going to have to comfort him and calm him down, assuring him that everything is going to be okay.
Billy’s just kind of rolling with punches. He really doesn’t know how he’s going to be a father but he loves you so much, so this is just something you’re going to do together. 
He figures that as long as you’re there, he’ll be okay, you’ll make sure that everything is okay. 
Asa Emory (The Collector)
Yes, you were nervous to tell him about the pregnancy. You had no idea how he would feel or what he would think.
But, of course you had to tell him before he found out some other way.
You weren’t even surprised when he barely reacted. He was thinking, you knew that, so you gave him a moment. This whole thing was a surprise for both of you.
“I had my suspicions” well, that wasn’t the response you were expecting. 
But of course he noticed the little changes in you. Your fatigue, any sickness you had been feeling. He knew the signs, he already suspected that you were pregnant. So, thankfully, it wasn’t a complete surprise to him.
You’ll never know exactly how he felt when he first started suspecting pregnancy but by the time you tell him about it, he’s already come to terms with it.
(He’s also aware that this would be good for keeping up appearances. He loves you, he does, but he can’t help that his mind often wanders to more logical pros and cons of things)
He gets a little...overbearing, but it’s honestly nice to get all that extra attention from him.
Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)
You’re understandably nervous about telling Jesse, unsure of how he would react and already knowing about his past.
And when you do tell him...yeah, it brings back some less than happy memories. The last time he was going to have a child...well, it didn’t end well.
But you’re different. You know about what he does and you love him despite it. If you want to bring this child into the world, you know completely who they’re father would be and you’d love them anyway.
(Like with Asa, it would be undeniably good for his image, having a spouse and a child, but that’s not something that he’s making decisions based on when it comes to you)
It’s not always easy to throw off Jesse but this did it, and you’re just waiting for his reaction nervously.
Of course, he doesn’t say anything, but he guides you towards him. A hand resting on your stomach as he presses a kiss to your forehead. He’s telling you that he’s okay with this if you are.
Otis Driftwood
You’re not wrong for being a little nervous to tell him or have a child in the Firefly household at all.
I can completely see why you think he might react badly.
However, when you do tell him, he’s actually pretty calm. Sure, he’s surprised, but he takes it well.
Admittedly, he never thought about having kids, and if he did he might have even decided that he wasn’t interested in having them.
But you’re pregnant, you’re both having this child, and that’s okay.
He’ll pull you into him, smirking as he says something along the lines of “so we’re going to be parents, huh?” he’s a little surprised when you just pull him into a relieved hug, but returns it.
He’ll raise them ‘right’, whatever he considers to be right.
All he promises you is that he is going to be a much better parent than his were. That’s it, that’s all he wants to be and he will be.
Yautja (Predator) 
You find out at the exact same time. As soon as you start throwing up or just not feeling right, he’s taking you to get some medical attention.
And the medic tells you that you’re pregnant, as blunt as Yautja’s are.
Your mate is overjoyed. This is great news! 
Even if the two of you weren’t planning this, he still loves the thought of you carrying his child, of you having his child. Yeah, this definitely isn’t bad news to him.
But he understands if you’re kinda freaking out about this, it was a surprise to you both.
Still, he’s going to be right there for you. Super involved and supportive, assuring you that you’re going to have the best medical care (better than anything you could get on earth). It’s all going to be fine.
Gets ten times more protective, clingy, and affectionate.
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worminstuff · 4 years ago
Text
Win Win Situation
dream x reader (more fluff)
from this ask -
Hello! I'd like to request Dream fluff, where they play Minecraft Manhunt with Pandas, Muffin and Gogy. The reader's a secret weapon they hold against Dream (she waits for him in the Nether or the End; the decision is up to u), since they know he really likes her and it's mutual anyways. She's capable of killing Dream with hearts to spare and in last hopes of winning the hunt, he proposes a kiss (in MC, of course) for his life (which the reader grants him). Thx in advance! 💞😊-
i love this ask vvvv much and im gonna try my best to do it justice!
It had been quite a day of filming, this manhunt proving to be one for the books.  Dream had really been stubborn upon not dying, and sapnap, George, and bad were really trying their hardest. 
George was so close to getting a dream when he first crossed to the nether but it was futile as he had looted around a lot and got more armor then they even had time to find.
Dream was pretty sure he was set after proving himself with that battle against George, he had 9 blaze rods, ten pearls and a burning sensation in his stomach from the excitement of winning.
It had been quite a day of filming, this manhunt proving to be one for the books.  Dream had really been stubborn upon not dying, and sapnap, George, and bad were really trying their hardest. 
George was so close to getting a dream when he first crossed to the nether but it was futile as he had looted around a lot and got more armor then they even had time to find.
Dream was pretty sure he was set after proving himself with that battle against George, he had 9 blaze rods, ten pearls and a burning sensation in his stomach from the excitement of winning.
As he sat listening to the 3 weirdos giggling amongst themselves he thought about you, you would've been so proud of the way he's wiggled out of their grasps so many times from a boat chase where he managed to drown Sapnap by using a tnt to blow them up in a cave. A blush crossed his cheeks at the thought of you being excited with him. He couldn't wait to tell you about it later.
Lately you two had been talking awfully a lot and he was enjoying it a lot. You'd met through sapnap since you knew him for a long time. You often streamed with Wilbur or Tubbo too, Tubbo being another one of your favorite people.
Dream loves to watch the streams and videos you both make because you two are so entertaining. Dream thought you were absolutely adorable, especially when you and Tubbo are trying to figure out redstone for a new scheme or terrorizing Tommy for a bit. Most of all he loved your bed wars streams, he was always entranced at how amazing you were at pvp. He loved every bit of it.
He himself had a really hard time talking to you at first. In his defense, you were a pretty girl! Adorable, sweet, funny and kind and incredible at pvp. How was he supposed to approach you without freaking you out with his tiny little obsession.
The sound of an ender eye breaking snapped him out of his little day dream, realizing he was nearby the stronghold, he started his way down.
Unknowing to dream, the boys were just over a hill watching him just as he was digging down. Instead of following just yet sapnap sent a message on discord, to you.
panpas 
    he’ll be there in a second i think
y/n
    okey dokey!
There was nothing in the unspoken rules of manhunt that said nothing about a secret weapon. That's exactly what you were. Sapnap and George and bad all knew you were one of the few people that could easily beat dreams.
Dream knew it too, sometimes he liked to tell himself it was only because she got him flustered so easily, but deep down he knew you just played way too much Minecraft. 
You sat impatiently waiting for him to reach the end, impatiently sitting near a clump of endermen. You were nervous and excited at the same time, beating dreams was always fun. You'd always admired dreams and his presence on the internet but after meeting him, things changed a bit.
He seemed hesitant talking to you at first but lately he had been texting you every morning and night and even called you a few times! He gave you so many butterflies just at the thought of him.
Dream searched around the stronghold looking for the portal, as he was about to turn a corner sapnap spoke up, 
“Don't you guys think it's been a bit boring without..y/n” He smirked behind his computer screen as he could practically hear dreams heart rate go up just by that single sentence. He was correct with that bet.
“Duh! y/n would have had a dream dead like an hour ago '' George spoke with a knowing smirk.
“That's not true-” Dream tried to poke into the conversation when bad suddenly interrupted him.
“No you muffin, you know y/n would totally have beat your booty way back in the nether”
“Booty-” Dream was cut off once again by a fit of hyena laughter from his friends. 
As they giggled he finally found the portal and filled in the empty slots hopping in quickly. He was surprised he hadn't heard the boys say anything about it with the achievements popping up onto the screen. 
He was confused up until he spotted you, standing by one of the pillars.
“what?! how?! y/n? how did you- when- huh?” His flustered state was quickly made obvious by the way the boys could hear a smile even through his confusion.
You started sprinting towards him as the three boys dropped into the portal as well but not rushing over just yet, wanting to see this unfold first.
You let out a small giggle as you were gaining on him, he was running around still confused on how you were there.
“Come here Dreeeeam” You said maniacally trying to gain on him.
“Get away y/n! how are you even-”
He let out a yell as you got your first crit on him, your ax was clearly more op than his and he could tell by only one hit.
“How did you do that much damage! What are you even-”
After finally trying to fight her, he was at 3 hearts and he even had a shield. 
“Okay, okay, okay, y/n hold on for a second please” He backed up a bit facing her character as she lowered her weapon waiting on his next move.
“I have..a proposition” Dream let out a breath nervously, 
“What kind of proposition?” You smirked, ready to decimate him with only a few more hits.
“No! No propositions! y/n you have him just kill him so we win!'' Sapnap chimed in with George and badly agreed.
“No no guys, hold on, I wanna know what it is,” You said with a small airy laugh.
“If you don't kill me y/n, i'll give you something I think you'll like”
“Like enough not to win?”
“I hope so..” Dream started to regret this decision, he knew he liked you and he thought you liked him, but how could he be sure? He would bed George would call him stupid for thinking she wouldn't like him but he just wasn't sure.
“Tell me then, what is it?” You were getting a bit antsy, he was a wild card to you. You adored him so much but sometimes you just never knew what was going on in his brain.
“A kiss.” You definitely weren't expecting that. As Dream spoke the two words he'd been repeating in his head for minutes, you were silent, sitting in shock.
You were expecting one of the boys to call it bullshit and tell you to just murder him on the spot, but they were silent.
“A..kiss?” You weren't sure you heard him right, because you couldn't believe it! A kiss? From Dream? You'd faint!
“Yeah. A kiss. And you let me kill the dragon.” He was gaining a bit more confidence after he realized he made you nervous.
“What?! No! No kissing! Murdering y/n! Murdering!” George wasn't surprised you were considering it because he knew how much you both like each other but he really doesn't want to lose like this.
“In- in game or?” you were sure he meant in game, but you were curious.
“Well.. it'll do until we meet in person. But I'll still owe you a real one after you let me win.” He smiled widely just thinking about getting to kiss you, or even be near you in real life! he could burst just at the thought.
While he was daydreaming, you were conflicted. The butterflies that were creating a sick feeling in your stomach at the thought of kissing him were overtaking the thought of wanting to beat him. You had already decided but you knew the boys would be so angry their secret weapon had failed them.
“How about. I take both kisses.. and then you have to beat me to the dragon. I won't fight you, you just have to beat the dragon before I can” Your plan seemed full proof. Seemed like a win win situation, or so you thought.
“Sounds perfect to me, y/n” He was grinning so madly, Your character got close to his, just a block or so in front of him.
“This won't be nearly as good as it could be but, MWAH '' Dream made an exaggerated kissing noise as he jumped towards your character hitting into it, then turning and booking it towards the dragon as it was starting to perch.
The boys were cheering and yelling as you sat in shock, not at the fact that his character kissed yours but because of what he said before. 
Was he really going to kiss you in real life? Your mind was absolutely swimming with thoughts when you suddenly checked back in at the sound of three boys yelling your name and the sound of the dragon dying.
“You just stood there y/n! why would you just stand there?!” George tries to sound mad but he really couldn't be. He was sure dream was on cloud 9 at that moment.
Dream was out of his chair, yelling with excitement as the boys were angrily shouting about their loss while you were still silent. Your silence was taken by a laugh, your own laugh,
“Hey y/n, can I call you in a little while?” He asked
“Yeah, please.” You said shakily as you left the discord call.
You leaned back in your chair, shaking your head with a small smile. He was going to be the death of you.
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kiefbowl · 3 years ago
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sex question-ish! I like masturbating and using my vibe and everything but having sex with another person makes me feel sick. I basically never get off and just wait for it to be over 😬 other than like the first time I had sex and was really into it with my bf at the time for about a year. once that passed I really dislike it and have left partners bc I don't want to have sex anymore. I feel broken lol like I don't get the hype. Im not on libido killing drugs so idk. I just feel like a freak
Not having sex doesn’t make you broken. I understand why it can feel like that, though, and believe me you’re in greater company than you probably realize if you start talking about it with other women in your life.
If you are trying to get sex back in your life and think there’s a root problem rather than maybe it’s just not your thing, can I suggest partner tangent masturbation, since you like masturbation? you and a partner can masturbate solely in the same room, and aid each other not manually but vocally and by setting the mood (room prep can be just as intimate of an act as a physical sex act…light some candles, put on some music, and then invite your partner to come in and show you how they masturbate).
if you really want to have partnered sex (but please really think long and hard before making yourself continue to have sex you’re not into, long term this won’t do you any good), blindfolding might help. It really does psychologically work to make you “someone else” for a little bit, and gets you out of your own head. make sure you do it with someone you really trust, and make sure it’s something you can easily take off yourself, like a bandanna.
You could also just be in a stage of your life! We can’t constantly be horn dogs. Sometimes your libido drops for a couple years, and then boom you’re dying every night from horniness again. It’s completely normal.
But please know that while you’re trying to figure this out: good sex can be worth it, bad sex is never worth it. you get to decide what bad sex is, not a pretend audience. if you don’t want another person around because its actually making you sick to your stomach, then what’s it really worth? you might be struggling with some anxiety, but if you think that’s true reaching out to a mental health professional will probably be more helpful than trying to find a magical “cure” for your sex hang ups.
And in the meantime, enjoy riding that vib!! Good luck sis, keep thriving
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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years ago
Note
OK MY ELECTRICITY WENT BUT IM HERE WITH MY LIVE BLOG. Im also wearing a tiara i found during cleaning at 2 38 am...
LXI'S STILL HAVING THOSE DREAMS
You see, that’s how Lexi functioned. Unlike Selena who had a weekly planner with her name doodled on it, Lexi didn’t like having a schedule. She would decide what she wanted to do when she wanted it.
SAME LEXI SAME
IM SORRY IF THIS IS MSOTLY IN CAPS IM TOO EXCITED
lexi
lexi why are you in pain
what what what
whats happening
im freaking out
GEORGIA
There were six of them. Each handle in one colour of the pride flag.
gimme
THE ACADEMY
NO NO NO
these demons can talk as well.
that's what bothers me the most
CLARY STFU YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU FOUGHT A WAR AT 15. I know she's worried for valid reasons but im losing it right now.
calm its ok its gonna be ok
georgia collecting the ichor-
i love her so much
Lexi didn’t think it was possible, but the sight somehow made her gayer than before.
me every time i look at amy or rosa from b99
OLIVIA
“Of course you are not dying!” Lexi said severely. “Neither one of us is allowed to die before we finish binging Game of Thrones.”
with the major character death tag right there
dont make me think of georgia getting sick
dont
The bar was extremely low for shadowhunters.
yes it is
OH MULTIPLE POVS
RAFAEL
did i just sob "my child" ?
maybe i did
im so proud of him
LEAVE ME ALONE
wait but in tid sophie was over the age of ascention too
WAIT HOW OLD WAS SOPHIE AT THE AGE OF ASCENTION
WAIT OMG SOPHIE WAS YOUNG
I FORGOT ABOUT THAT
“Life is too short for bad blood,”
yeah. yeah it is
i still really like camilla
He could go to Mexico right now. His heart wanted to do it. His body screamed at him to do it.
It wasn’t the distance that was the problem. He had two warlocks at home. He had a bike. He had money to buy a plane ticket.
It wasn’t the distance at all. Rafael would walk to Mexico for her if necessary.
i screamed so loud here i was grateful for the closed door
CHAIRMAN MEOW
CYUKGUCDGYMDYUD
THE PRECIOUS CAT
WHAT IF THE MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH IS ABOUT CHAIRMAN???
“Y’all really be acting as if portals are like a bag of Cheetos!” Max pointed out seriously. “It ain’t $2.50, bro! Do you have any idea the energy it takes to make a portal? What people actually pay for it? I can’t be making portals for free. I don’t get a salary from the Clave like you do. This is how I make a living!”
SO TRUE
“I was going to say you should go stay at the institute with David,” Rafael said. “But you are right. You are not a baby. You can stay here on your-”
“On second thoughts,” Max interrupted with a grin. “I’m still a fetus in warlock years so I will go the institute.”
THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS
AHHH HE CALLED HER PRETTY THE FIRST TIME HE SAW HER
THEY WERE 7
IM SCREAMING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW
my throat hurts
JAIME MY BABY
Y'ALL I MISSED HIM SO MUCH
“All thanks to the amazing Isabelle Lightwood,” Jaime replied. “I think I am a little in love with her.”
“Who isn’t?” Rafael chuckled.
we all are in love with isabelle lightwood
no no no
where's anjali
where is she
dont fuck with me right now
why does diego look like a mess
“Diego,” the woman rasped. “She is coughing up blood again.”
no
dont
it's chapter 1
stop making me cry
THE LIGHTWOOD SIBLINGS
YUSDFGYUSDFSDGYUD
if anyone gives izzy shit for this i'll kill them
JACE STOP GOING SO FAST
“Jace, if you want to a baby so much then grow your own damn uterus,” Isabelle snapped.
TELL HIM
THIS GOES OUT TO THE WHOLE MALE POPULATION
After Georgia’s birth, they had promised each other that they would always choose the children first. If it ever came to a point, as it often did in their lives, where they had to choose between themselves and the children – they had promised each other to save the children.
dude theres a major character death here
Jace thought for a moment and then grinned at her. “No uterus. No opinion.”
“Selena has trained you well,”
selena my smart feminist child
I JUST KNOW ONE OF THE LIGHTWOOD-BANES IS DYING
AND IM NOT OK
“Do you really need those?” Alec asked, pointing at the glasses.
“No,” Jace replied. “But Clary thinks I look hot with glasses.”
“You two are ridiculous,” Alec shook his head.
Jace turned around. “Really? And your beard is for character building, is it?”
there's no use lying alec we all know why it's really there
I KNOW WHAT LEUKEMIA IS SHUT THE FUCK UP IM LOSING MY SHIT
no
no
she cant die
IF SHE DIES I WILL RAISE HELL
my throat hurts from all the shouting
“Can I get a cinnamon latte with extra cream and two sugars please?” Alec asked.
Jace raised an eyebrow.
“Magnus had a long day at the Spiral Labyrinth,” Alec explained.
“Can’t he just magic his drink?”
“Well, yes,” Alec replied. “But I like buying it for him. It’s called being a good husband.”
aww that's so sweet
THIS IS HILARIOUS
“I’m saying no one can do better than David,” Jace huffed. “He is precious.”
tru
“If you are going to be this way, things are going to be very awkward at their wedding,” Jace muttered.
“They are not getting married, Jace!”
“Do you not want them to???”
“They are nineteen!!”
“Doesn’t mean we are not allowed to think about it,” Jace pointed out. “If they get married, we will be family!”
“We are already family!” Alec all but yelled.
“Yeah, but we will be even closer!” Jace sighed happily.
“You are my parabatai!” Alec said incredulously. “My soul is literally tied to yours! How closer do you want to get?”
THIS IS AMAZING
OH MY GOD I LOVE
JACE BEING OVER PROTECTIVE OVER SELENA DATING SOMEONE IM LOSING MY SHIT
wait how old is michael
"Oh my god,” Jace gasped. “Three out of three! I win!”
“It’s not a competition, Jace!” Alec rolled his eyes.
“It is and I won,” Jace grinned. “You’re welcome, LGBTQ+ community.”
YUP JACE WON
“Can we talk about something else?” Izzy demanded. “We are not those parents who only ever talk about their children.”
Alec cleared his throat. “Right. Of course.”
“Yeah, we have lives of our own,” Jace nodded seriously.
They drove quietly for a while before they started discussing about their children’s love lives again right up until Jace pulled over at Jade Wolf.
of course...
Lily’s face was pale – paler than usual.
lily what's wrong
please lily
anjali...
lily is close to her
of course
“Then we burn all the angels,” Lily growled.
YES YES YES YES
Jace walked in that moment, sipping from his latte. “I bought donuts, y’all!”
A chuckle escaped Magnus. “Jonathan. Your timing is impeccable.”
"Is everything okay?” Jace asked, looking troubled.
“No,” Maia replied. “But at least we have donuts.”
at least they have donuts
“I love you,” he mouthed, and Alec’s heart was okay for a moment.
THE FEELS
ISABELLE
NO NO NO
NO
IZZY
PLEASE
WHY IS EVERY POV ENDING LIKE THIS
They had put on their clothes
AHEM SIR-
they grow up so fast...
no
im crying
dont please
izzy
she was poisoned
oh my god
WHO
GIVE ME NAMES RIGHT NOW
Rafael drank like a dozen a day.
understandable have a good day
OH MY GOD STOP JOKING AS A COPING MECHANISM
Im squeezing the life out of Emma (my emotional support stuffed cat) right now
seelies
the first time i heard the source was angelic my very first incstinct was seelie. I didn't wanna share it because of how absurd it sounded. but it doesn't anymore.
charlotte was poisoned by a seelie unintentionally which cost her her child
oh
OH MY GOD
NO THIS WASN'T IZZY'S COFFEE
MAGNUS GAVE IT TO HER
THIS WAS MAGNUS' COFFEE
SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO POISON HIM.
I'm losing my mind oh my god... I am so scared. Please Anjali and Isabelle please they cant...no i dont wanna think like that. tryna take deep breaths. ok. it's gonna be ok. maybe.
see ya friday!
Now I want to write lbaf while wearing a tiara. Hmmmm. I'll look for one online.
See you Friday! Also hope you had a good birthday!!!
And send pics of Emma!!!!!!!
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rainywritingsx · 5 years ago
Text
Hcs: Sting, Laxus & Rufus with a really affectionate + supportive s/o
WAIT WAIT I READ RUFUS INSTEAD OF ROGUE?? IM SO SORRY OMG- i promise I’ll make one for rogue ;-;
Hello! May I get hcs about Sting, Laxus and Rogue with a really affectionate and supportive s/o?? The type of person who goes YES THAT'S MY BF YOU ARE THE BEST SWEETIE when the boys do something cool x)??
warnings: uhm spoilers if you haven’t watched the full show yet?... I forgot in what season exactly these things happen sorry ;-;
i really enjoyed writing this! Rufus is a character that I’m very fond of and I was starting to like Sting more and more as well as Laxus ^^ I haven’t written for any of them before but I did my best and hope you like it! ^^ + please check out my post about celebrating reaching 700 followers, I need you guys’ opinions ^^
Tip jar ^^
hcs start below the cut
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Sting Eucliffe
this baby eats your praise UP
freaking loves it so much
he might have to get used to the amount of affection at first, but he loves it!
might even be equally as affectionate as you at some point
let’s say you two are together during the grand magic games
and you are in the crowd at EVERY. BATTLE your bf is at
jumping up and down
cheering so loudly he can hear you above the rest
this gives him even more motivation
also a little pressure
he wants to be the best for you
but well
remember when all the dragon slayers ended up on that vehicle
welp
he was embarrassed to say the least
but then he hears you
“Come on Sting!!! I know you can do it baby!!”
and he just KNOWS you’re face is like :D
and afterwards you continuously praise him, knowing about his problem with motion sickness
“honey i’m so proud!! you got so far!!”
whether he wins or loses, you will always tell him he’s the best
at times he feels like he isn’t worthy of your praise
but at the same time it motivates him so so much
also if you’re affectionate in public he might act different depending on who’s around
if it’s around his friends he doesn’t care and will happily return the affection!
In public he might be a little shyer about it
oh and
whenever he’s training you like to watch
and whenever he manages to do something new you’re just like
“!!!!! that’s my bby!!!!”
and baby will have the biggest smile on his face ever
and he’s so happy to have you by his side
aaaa i’m so soft for this baby
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Laxus Dreyar
okay so
he acts as if it’s nothing
as if he knows he’s the best already
nope hahah he constantly wants to prove he’s strong come on
ok so this is kinda interesting tbh
because if we’re talking about laxus before he changed, I really don’t think he would do much about your constant affection and praise
sorry
it gets to the point where some people wonder if Laxus even loves you at all
he does, he was just terrible at expressing it during this time
and you knew that
you had figured him out already
he might even scoff at times if you suddenly hold onto his arm or kiss his cheek
he probably feels a little embarrassed too
but you just
ignore it
and it has the thunder legion like ???? wot??
he’s not pushing you away???
or making any remarks??
cue a jealous freed (sorry the shipper jumped out)
however
after he changes
he slowly becomes more open to it
he might even return the affection at times in small ways like having a hand on your hip
in private he will gladly cuddle you :D
and he loves the praise so much
remember when he breathed in some strange stuff from that villain
and protected his friends or tried to at least
and basically almost died
yeah,,,
maybe you aren’t exactly proud of him being reckless and almost dying BUT
you were so happy that he was okay
and when he’s slowly getting better you keep praising him when he tries doing small things
like walking, going outside, eating full meals etc
and of course you don’t leave his side
and he doesn’t mind it uwu
OKAY WAIT I FORGOT
WHEN LAXUS WAS KICKED OUT OF FAIRY TAIL-
oh boy he felt so so happy to have you
like
he acknowledges his mistakes etc but that makes him feel bad
and you’re there to reassure him he’s not a bad person at all
that is probably the moment he needs you the most
and when he realises he really loves you and is one lucky man
he will neveeeeerr let you go
(I forgot to edit a pic like the others for my baby I’ll replace this text with it soon I promise I’m sorry rufus sweetie ;-;)
Rufus Lore
tries to be nonchalant about is while also letting you know he appreciates it??
like at the grand magic games you’re in the crowd
“YES RUFUS THAT’S MY MAN RIGHT THERE!!”
he just chuckles and quietly says to himself how cute you are
while he does often voice his appreciation for your cheerful attitude
it is only after losing to Gray during the grand magic games that he realizes how much he needs you
and you can tell that that battle affects him
yes, rufus has a lot of confidence
I mean his memory make magic is so fascinating and powerful
but he’s still a human that makes mistakes
this isn't something magic can fix
so after that fight
he’s secretly very disappointed and sad
he never loses
he knew gray couldn’t win
his magic told him so
so how did he win??
kinda starts to doubt himself
but
then you come to him
hugging him and telling him he’s amazing
“it’s okay to make mistakes babe! you’re still great. you’ve won so many times!!”
yeah that’s true
“you remember that you’ve won more times than that you’ve lost, right?”
this is the first time it really Dawns upon Rufus how much you help him and make him feel better
he realises how lucky he is to have you in his life
from here on he will be more vocal about how much he appreciates your support
he will have this small but loving smile as he listens to you praising him
he will lean his head on the palm of his hand as he fondly stares at you
will make sure to remember this
he doesn’t care that this isn’t any type of magic
your support is more powerful than any kind of magic he can use
might even return the praise
but in a more relaxed way
but it doesnt matter because he makes it clear that he appreciates you so so much
465 notes · View notes
meat--grindr · 4 years ago
Note
another trans man fixated on Martin here!! 💕
could i request some NSFW of an ftm S/O teasing Martin while hes on the phone trying to do another interview as The Count? not a lot of talking from the S/O while hes on the phone, mostly physical stuff & feeling him up thru his clothes. the rest is up to you >:)))
(def going to use as a drawing prompt im just so so embarrassed to request off anon 😔😔😔)
Alright, so, this prompt has been living in my head rent-free ever since I first read it and I am so freaking excited to finally get to it. I’m sorry it took so long. I will admit this was a bit of a challenge for me because I am notoriously bad at writing dialogue. But I feel like it was good practice. Sorry if it sounds a little stilted in spots, I’m still learning.
Please, please, please link me to that art if you ever get around to it! You knocked it out of the park with this prompt and I’d love to give the art some love if you’re comfortable with sharing!
The Count Didn’t Count on This – Martin Mathias (Trans-Masculine Reader) – NSFW.
·       It’s late, and for once, you’re exactly where you feel you should be at this late hour—not sprawled across a chair reading, or gazing out of the window, watching the cars pass and counting the neighbours’ lights as they flick on and off in lieu of stargazing. And for the first time in at least a week, you’re not trapped at your desk, frantically typing the final draft of a paper, hindered by the slow keys of a typewriter that does not care a whit about the deadline steadily hurtling toward you. No, thankfully, this night has brought with it far more comfortable circumstances—you find yourself in bed, tired bones sinking into the plush mattress, consciousness caught in the bleary space between sleep and not.
·       Even better, you aren’t alone.
·       Tonight, your bed is warmed by another body, long and thin, curled tightly against your own, as though it were some sort of crime to leave even an inch of space between you. A bony hip digs into your thigh and you’re sure the press of your head and shoulder against his chest must make breathing difficult for him. But he’s made no attempt to shrug you off or shift your weight to a more comfortable spot, so you likewise let it be. In all honesty, you’re simply too comfortable to bother and you feel it’s safe to assume the same is true for Martin too.
·       The slow, even beat of his heart pulses against your cheek, and his long fingers stroke absently over your bare shoulder. The rough texture of burgeoning callouses catches against your skin—the sensation, though not wholly unpleasant, makes you shudder. Sometimes, you forget Martin works with his hands. When you hold them, they seem so delicate—his long fingers better suited to playing the piano than tightening screws or hammering nails. But he’s good at repairs and more importantly, he seems to find enjoyment the work. It certainly keeps him busy enough on the few afternoons that Cuda isn’t running him ragged in the shop, much to your personal dismay. But his nights—the nights like this—belong to you and you alone.
·       Your eyelids flutter closed, and for the first time in what feels like weeks, maybe even longer, you feel like you can rest. Really rest. Dimly, you find yourself wondering if it had more to do with finished papers and diminished responsibilities, or the reintroduction of the physical intimacy you’ve been missing so dearly. Though you can’t say for certain, you have a sneaking suspicion it’s the latter.
·       The longer you know Martin, the more you’re convinced that there is a preternatural bubble of calm that hangs around him. You can feel it in the way even the grouchiest old women in the store seem to soften toward him—hiding small smiles behind their sleeves, sometimes even calling him ‘dear,’ or in the way Cuda’s volatile temper deflates when his cruel words slide off Martin’s back as though he’s heard it all before from people who frightened him far greater. You’ve seen it at work on the feral cats that roam the neighbourhood—while they hiss and swipe at the children who chase them through the dusty streets, they sit willingly at Martin’s feet, rubbing against his legs with a familiarity that borders on friendly. And it’s in the way he looks at you—looks into you with those dark eyes that seem far too old for that handsome, youthful face—intense and all-seeing, but never judgemental. He is a point of unflappable calm in a world which never seems to slow for even a second. That calm has settled into you now, seeping into your bones as you lay there, listening to his heart thumping in the darkness.
·       The low crackle of the radio hovers at the edge of your hearing, a burst of static cutting through the droning voices. You’d stopped listening properly ages ago—the third time the DJ had made an attempt to dismiss his latest caller. It was an old man who was seven shades of pissed about the ‘teen-age hooligans’ who were ‘tipping over his bins every night and eating his trash.’ Of course, everyone with half a brain, including the host himself, knows it’s an animal—probably a raccoon, or a family of raccoons, but this old geezer has somehow convinced himself it’s a gaggle of ‘Satan-worshipping teenagers who have been brainwashed by heavy metal music and Pepsi Cola.’
·       Okay. Sure.
·       It’s utterly ridiculous, and just the sort of thing you’ve come to expect from the people who live in Braddock. Or the ones who call in to a show like this anyhow.
·       In a way, you feel bad for the poor DJ. Sure, he welcomes strange callers of all kinds, from alien abductees and bigfoot hunters to bereaved parents who teenagers are ‘just growing up too fast,’ or ‘a little too interested in the works of William Shakespeare.’ He even encourages them at times, but you’ve got to draw the line somewhere, and in your mind, this, funny as it may be, is probably it. You’re sure whatever the station is paying the guy, it isn’t enough to suffer through being called a ‘brainless sack of human garbage’ by a crazy old man.
·       “And that’s about all the time we have,” Despite his cheery tone, the poor guy sounds exhausted. “Thank you for calling!”
·       Another burst of static drowns out the old man’s reply, but you’re sure that whatever he’d said, it was not ‘radio-friendly.’
·       “…our next caller. You are on the air, Sir!”
·       “Yeah, uh…hi, Barry.” The man sounds young—probably not much older than yourself—and very nervous. He must be a first-time caller. As he and the DJ share opening pleasantries—what’s your name, how old are you, where are you calling in from tonight, is that a cat I hear in the background? —your attention begins to drift again. You teeter for a moment on the edge of sleep, the clean scent of your linen sheets and Martin’s shampoo filling your nose.
·       “I was just wondering if you’ve heard from the Count again since last time?”
·       And just like that, you’re awake again, attention fully focused on your radio and the funny little show that whispers through it.
·       The caller is asking about Martin. A cold shiver rumbles through your body. People ask about Martin on the show all the time—of course, they don’t know that’s who they’re asking about, but you do. It’s so strange, to hear a stranger talk about someone you know so well—even worse when they speak about him like they know him too. Sometimes, they make you laugh with their outlandish theories, but sometimes they make you sick—sick with worry: when he’s threatened with violence or exposure, sick with fear: when they make guesses that hit a little too close to home, and sick with jealousy: when they claim to have had an ‘encounter’ with him, or worse, try to set one up on air.
·       You know about Martin, of course—that he is a vampire, or at least he thinks he’s a vampire. Whether or not you believe him is another question entirely. He certainly does not abide by the ‘vampire rules’ as you know them from stories and television—he doesn’t sleep in a coffin, filled with dirt from his homeland or otherwise, rather he sleeps in a bed (curled up beside you more often than not these days). He cuts a handsome figure in mirrors and the photographs that you have pinned up above your desk. He walks about in the sun most days without complaint despite his pale complexion, and though he may not be a sleek. Predatory creature that oozes confidence, grace, and sex appeal, he’s no slouch either—lithe and handsome in a boyish sort of way, all knees, elbows, and wide dark eyes.
·       In fact, the only requirement he seems to meet on the proverbial ‘vampire checklist’ is his fixation with blood—and the need to consume it. Maybe that means something, maybe it doesn’t. You’ve come to the conclusion that what you think really doesn’t matter in the end—your opinion isn’t going to sway him on the subject one way or another. This is a truth about himself he believes perhaps more deeply than anything else. Who were you to try and change that?
·       So, you do your best to take everything in stride, and when you can’t, you humour him. Still, every once in a while, something will trip you up—you still can’t quite decide if he’s joking about being over eighty years old or not. But you do your best. You had even let him feed on you once. Though only once. In the end, it was Martin who had decided the experience was not one he would like to repeat.
·       He had laid you out on your bed, “I don’t want you to get hurt if you faint.” Though you’d told him nearly a hundred times that you’d be just fine, that you’d had blood taken before at the hospital, he had insisted.
·       You had expected things to be different. For a start, you had expected him to climb into your lap, to press his lips against your neck, seeking your pulse the way it’s done in the movies. Instead, he’d taken out a little white kit from his bag. He had unzipped it and laid it out on the bed, revealing a little bottle of clear liquid, a row of sterile, hypodermic needles, and a pack of fresh razor blades.
·       His long fingers fell upon the needles, caressing them lovingly one by one. Much to your relief, he did not pick one up. As if he could sense your apprehension, he’d said, “Don’t worry, I won’t need these.” He’d glanced up at you, measuring your reaction, “I won’t need them because you’re not going to fight me. Are you?” It wasn’t really a question. You shook your head, and the corners of his lips quirked up into a smile, “Good. It’s so much easier when they don’t fight me.” Those words had made you shudder. He really had done this before, then. Part of you hadn’t believed him—he seemed so…harmless
·       He’d picked out a single blade from the package, meticulously removing the white paper wrapping, taking extra care not to tear it, or let the blade cut into it. When he was through, he folded the paper into a neat square and dropped it onto the comforter. He lay the blade flat on his palm for you to see. “I don’t have pointy teeth, you see.” He took your hand, opening his mouth and guiding your fingers along the edges of his flat, dull teeth. “They aren’t sharp, so they don’t cut deep enough. You understand?” You’d nodded and he had kissed your fingertips gently, one by one.
·       “I’ll be careful, I promise,” He’d said, “I’ll only take a little. Just enough to take the edge off.” Despite the hungry glint in his eyes, you’d known he was telling the truth. He didn’t need to reassure you of that. You trusted him. Besides, you had asked for this. At least, he’d stopped asking if he still had your permission every five minutes. Of course he did.
·       And yet. Your heartbeat had kicked up, jittering like a frightened bird when you’d seen the needles and the razor. It was as though actually seeing them had made the whole situation feel more real. There was no denying you were afraid, but you didn’t tell him to stop—you didn’t want to. You had made up your mind. You wanted this; wanted to help.
·       He’d held your hand in his own like it was a thing made of glass. His fingers gripped the razor with a practiced grace as he held it just above your palm. Watching him, you were struck for the second time by just how rehearsed this seemed. How many times had he done this, with or without permission?
·       “Take a deep breath for me, okay? There’s a good boy.” Did he talk to the others too? Even the ones who fought back? You could picture him, chattering softly against the skin of some poor soul, sprawled limp across the floor.
·       Limp or lifeless?
·       The thought unsettled you, but you did as you were told, filling your lungs nearly to capacity as the sharp edge of the blade bit into the meat of your palm just below your thumb. As promised, he had been quick, pressing only as hard as was necessary. Even so, the sting of it made your flinch, your hand jumping in his own. His fingers tensed around yours, the tightness of his grip reflected in the grimace that flashed across his face as he bent his head to seal his lips around the wound.
·       You had expected to feel him pulling the blood from you, but he simply let it flow into his mouth, the coppery taste heavy on his tongue. He exhaled through his nose, long and low—a pleased sound. Something about that set you more at ease. He hadn’t recoiled or wrinkled his nose at the taste of your blood. You hadn’t even realized you were worried about how you tasted until that moment.
·       You had started to feel dizzy beneath him—dizzy not from a loss of blood, but the wet heat of his mouth against your skin. Your heart had stuttered in your chest as his tongue probed gently around the edges of the wound, soothing your sparking nerves, even as the blood continued to drip down his throat.
·       When at last, he pulled away, his face was flushed, and his breath came hard; his chest heaving as though he’d just run a great distance. Immediately, his hand shot to his front pocket, fingers searching for the roll of gauze bandages he’s swiped from Cuda’s first-aid kit.
·       He’d wrapped the clean white fabric around your hand with such care it made your heart ache almost as much as the wound itself. When he was finished, he’d flipped your hand over and pressed a gentle kiss against your knuckles. Then, he spoke. His voice was small, barely more than a ragged whisper, “Thank you.”
·       “Was that…was it okay?” Your skin felt feverish, as though the heat of his mouth had seeped into your flesh and was burning you from the inside out. And the dizzy feeling had only grown worse, forcing you to squeeze your eyes shut for a long moment.
·       Martin was still struggling to get his breathing under control, “Yes. I-It was good…better than good, actually. But…”
·       “But?” Had you done something wrong? Had you tasted bad after all? You cracked open one eye, then the other. The spinning had mostly subsided, but you still felt unsteady. “What can I do better next time?”
·       He’d gone stiff all over then, and his reply had come sudden and sharp, “No!” He cringed, the force behind his words clearly surprising himself as well. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, “No ‘next time.’ I…I can’t stand hurting you like that. I won’t do it again.”
·       You’d gazed up at him, blinking in confusion for a second. Then you realized what he’d meant—you had flinched when he’d cut you. Oh.
·       You reached up, cupping his cheek, “Oh, Martin. You didn’t hurt me. Not really.” It wasn’t strictly true—it had hurt a little, but you had been prepared for it to. You brushed a stray droplet of blood from the corner of his mouth with a careful swipe of your thumb.
·       “Yes, I did. I saw it.” You had tried to protest further, but he’d cut you off, much to your surprise. Martin almost never talked back like this, though perhaps you’d simply never given him a reason before. “I saw you flinch. I won’t put you through this again.”
·       And he hadn’t. Though you’d brought the idea up more than once, he had dismissed it each time with the same stubborn shake of his head. If Martin was anything, he was true to his word.
·       “…and it’s been such a long time since we heard from the guy.”
·       The DJ hums in agreement, “It has indeed, my friend. Maybe we’ll hear from him later tonight. If you’re out there listening, Count, don’t be a stranger! Give us a call,” He begins rattling off the stations toll-free number. “We’re all dying to hear from you again!”
·       You feel Martin stiffen up against you. You knew about the interviews he had done; you’d even heard one of them, back when Martin was little more to you than a silent, sullen face behind the counter at Cuda’s shop. And even when he’d started talking to you, he sounded different over the radio—his voice was deeper, and he sounded so confidant, so sure of himself when he talked about his ‘sickness.’ He almost never sounded like that in day-to-day life. You weren’t embarrassed to admit you found it attractive.
·       Martin on the other hand, was mortified to know you had heard him. He had known that people were listened to him, obviously, but they were supposed to be strangers. You actually knew him, and he’d talked about sex. Of course, reminding him you’d done a lot more in your time together than simply listen to him talk about sex did little to lessen his horror.
·       Of course, you also knew he’d been doing fewer and fewer interviews now that he had you to talk to and share his life with. But on occasion, when the pleading from the DJ gets too desperate, or he was simply that bored, Martin could be coaxed back onto the other end of the phoneline once again.
·       You glance up at him, but in the darkness, his expression is unreadable, eyes cast down toward the end of the bed, long lashes throwing feathered shadows across his pale cheeks. From the very beginning, he’s been hard to read. As you’ve come to know him better, you’ve needed to get comfortable with the idea of asking when you want to know something you could easily intuit if speaking to anyone else. He’s very good at hiding his thoughts and feelings behind a neutral expression and placid silence, but he would tell you almost anything if you asked him directly; so long as he had the words to explain it to you.
·       Do you want to make a call, Martin?”
·       For a long moment, he’s silent, turning the idea over in his mind a few times. You had never actually been with him when he’d done an interview in the past. He’d usually wait until you were three days deep in an assignment with no quick end in sight, or out of town with family. Maybe he would be too embarrassed to do it with you here or maybe he’s just not in the mood tonight. But, after a minute, he tilts his head down toward you and says, “Why not?”
·       The radio crackles out a jaunty tune—a commercial for some small business or another. “I’ll call in a few minutes. He doesn’t seem busy tonight.” Martin sits up, bracing his back against the headboard of your bed, and dislodging you from your perch. You grumble a little, irritated by the loss of your comfy spot, but you crawl into his lap anyway.
·       You press soft kisses into his skin, beginning at his hairline, and trailing down over his forehead, the bridge of his nose, his cheeks—the right then the left—the very tip of his nose, and finally his lips. He smiles against your mouth, leaning into the kiss with his whole body.
·       When you pull away only a moment later, you can practically hear the pouty turn of his mouth. He whines softly, but you pay him no mind, trailing kisses down his chin. “Are you nervous, Martin?” The question comes out muffled by the soft curve of his jaw.
·       “Not really, no…” He trails off, eyes cast to the ceiling, “I like the attention, I s’pose.”
·       You pull back to look at him, barely stifling a snort of amusement, “Don’t I give you enough?”
·       His eyes slide from the ceiling, falling upon you dark and wide. For a moment, you think he’s taken you seriously, but the pouty turn of his mouth breaks into a blinding grin, “You give me lots, sure, but I’m a creature of the night, remember? We always want more.”
·       The two of you sit there for a moment, gazing into each other’s eyes, the silence stretching on into the night. Then, you collapse into each other in a fit of giggles. Martin buries his head into the crook of your neck, shaking with quiet laughter. Sure, when he’d said wasn’t untrue, but when he put it like that, it was hard not to laugh.
·       “Welcome back, everybody. It’s almost the top of the hour at 01:57! I’m your host Barry…”
·       You hadn’t even heard the ads end! Martin scrambles for the chunky landline phone that rests on the beside table, nimble fingers punching in the numbers at speed. Though his calls had become less and less frequent, he evidently kept the number somewhere in his memory.
·       Martin’s voice is hushed as he speaks to whoever manned the phones down at the radio station, muttering something about ‘the Count.’ As he speaks, he winds the coiled phone cord around a delicate finger. It’s a simple, distracted habit of Martin’s but it makes your heart flutter whenever you catch him doing it.
·       You stretch your arm as far as you can, reaching for the radio, unwilling to give up your perch in Martin’s lap for even a second. Your fingertips brush the cool metal—once, twice—then you manage to curl your fingers around it. Pulling it into your lap you turn the volume down low so only you can hear it.
·       “I’m just getting word that we have a special guest on the line,” the DJ sounds positively elated, “Folks, it looks like the Count is back in town. Hello, Count! Where have ya’ been?”
·       Martin hesitates for a moment, his jaw working as he searches for the words, “Around.”
·       There is a definite lag between the words in his mouth, and those same words coming through the radio. The dissonance confounds your ears and makes your head ache in a dizzy sort of way, but you want to hear both halves of this conversation, not just Martin’s.
·       “So, what trouble have you been getting into since we last spoke, Count? Murdered any pretty ladies recently?”
·       There’s a smile in Martin’s voice, “Not ladies, no.”
·       “Oh really? Any men then?”
Martin glances down at you, though he makes a non-committal noise. The DJ takes a breath, as though he’s going to say something, but Martin cuts him off, “I wouldn’t call what I do murder, anyhow.”
·       “No? But you still need to drink blood, right?”
·       “Oh, yes.”
·       “How have you been getting your food, then? Don’t vampires uh…kill with every strike?”
·       Martin laughs, a soft, breathy sound that sends a shudder through you. “I’ve been managing.” His tone is damn near conversational. You gaze down at him, marvelling at how easy this seems to be for him. The Martin you’ve come to know and love rarely (if ever) speaks to strangers, and when he has no other choice, he’s never this talkative. It’s strange, but by no means an unwelcome change. You nuzzle against him, letting his voice thrum through your skull as it vibrates around in his chest.
·       “Enough talk of blood and guts, Count. What about your other problems, huh? Tell me, are the streets of Braddock safe at last from the real terror stalking them? Have you…” He pauses conspiratorially, “Found yourself a girl yet?”
·       Those words drive an icy spike of hurt deep into your guts. No, he had not found himself a girl. Martin must have felt your jaw clenching, as his free hand begins to card through your hair—soothing and soft.
·       “I’ve found…someone.” The implications of that word settles you almost as much as his touch. ‘Someone.’ Not a woman, but someone of significance, nonetheless. He bends down to press a quick kiss into the crown of your head. “Someone special.”
·       The DJ gasps, sounding scandalized. “Someone special! Well, I never. Good for you, Count.” You can’t say you’re a fan of the man’s tone—pleasant enough, but with a sharp edge that borders on condescending. But there’s little you can do but grit your teeth and bear it. “How long until you suck this one dry and move on?”
·       Wow. Fuck this guy. On some level, you’d known he was an asshole—sure you felt bad for him when people were rude, but he could dish it out just as well as he could take it. Every once in a while, he’d push a caller too hard or make a snide comment the conversation could have done without. You didn’t like hearing it when strangers were involved, and now that you were the subject of such a comment, you like it even less. He makes it sound like you’re some random conquest, or worse, little more than a meal to Martin. How wrong he was.
·       Suck this one dry and move on? Fat chance, Buddy. Though, his wording did give you an idea…maybe you could make this night just a little more interesting for the both of you.
You sit back, uncurling your legs and dropping your knees to either side of Martin’s hips, straddling his lap properly. Settling your weight back into his lap, you pull a face, pointing to the radio in your lap and mouthing, ‘What a jaggoff!’
·       Martin’s lips press into a thin line as he tries to stifle his laughter. He nods sympathetically but doesn’t say anything about it to the DJ. He’s slow to anger, preferring to divert the conversation rather than cause a scene. You can’t help but admire him for that. You lean forward, stamping a kiss against his collarbone.
·       “I…uh…try not to eat the things I love.”
·       “Ooooh, so it’s love, huh?”
·       You roll your eyes at the DJ, though you can’t deny hearing Martin say he loves you sends a little thrill through you—it was the same thrill you’d felt the first time he had said it to you, and the same thrill you hoped to feel for years to come. You trail little, open-mouthed kisses up the column of Martin’s throat, your mouth feverishly warm against his skin. A shudder jolts through him like an electric shock as your teeth scape across his Adam’s apple. You grin against his flesh, sliding up to nip along the underside of his jaw. There is a sensitive spot at the very corner that you love to exploit, and now seems like the perfect opportunity to do so.
·       Your teeth graze over the spot and his body jitters beneath you. His voice catches in his throat, though if the DJ notices, he doesn’t comment. You nip gently at the spot, reddening the pale skin as you worry it with your teeth. You long to suck a bruise there—the purple-blue hue would doubtless look stunning against the pallor of his skin, but you knew Cuda would have a conniption if he saw it, and you didn’t want to put Martin through that again. Not after last time. The pair of you had agreed that perhaps in future, it would be better if any hickeys you left remained under your clothes.
·       Pressing one final kiss against that spot, you pull back to look at him. You can tell he’s getting flustered—there’s a flush beginning to creep up his neck from beneath the collar of his t-shirt, deep pink and blotchy. You know, given time, it will reach his cheeks, the colour blooming high on his cheekbones. When you get him worked up enough, you could make Martin blush to the very tips of his ears. It was adorable.
·       Your fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt as you drag your nails down his chest. His teeth catch his lower lip. You can almost hear the whine trapped behind those pearly teeth.
·       “Why don’t you tell us a little about this special someone, Count?”
·       Martin hesitates, “I don’t know about that.”
·       “Nonsense! You can tell your good ol’ pal Barry. Who am I gonna tell?”
·       Martin isn’t that stupid. He knows Barry doesn’t need to tell anyone anything—he’s live on air, he’d be telling them himself. His eyes flick down to yours, searching for something, be it permission or resistance. He pulls the phone away from his ear, resting it against his shoulder as he waits for you to make up your mind. You know he’d hang up in an instant if you asked him to—he’d likely do you one better and never call in again if the DJ was just going to ask questions about you all night long. But you trusted Martin not to give too much information away—he’d managed to stay hidden all this time, after all.
·       You nodded at him, smiling and thumbing gently over a nipple. Though your touch is light, and the sensation is dampened by the fabric of his shirt, Martin makes a sound as though he’s been punched in the stomach. He shifts beneath you, tucking the phone underneath his chin as he moves.
·       You grip the striped fabric of his shirt, working it in your hands. You lift it a little, fingers slipping just beneath it to splay against the flat plane of his stomach. His skin is warm and soft beneath your hands. You look down at him, arching a brow and asking for permission with only your eyes.
·       “Fine.” He says, and though the word is an answer for the DJ’s pleading, he’s talking to you, looking directly into your eyes—granting the permission you were so hoping for.
·       “Great! So, how long have you been together?”
·       You fall into him, hands pushing the soft cotton of his shirt up over his chest. Your lips are on his skin in a matter of seconds, trailing kisses across every inch of exposed skin—stomach, ribs, hips, and everything in between.
·       “It’s been ahh—” His words are cut short by a tight little moan as you bite down hard just below his left nipple. However, he manages a solid recovery as your tongue laves over the spot soothing the sting, playing the whole thing off as though he had needed time to stop and think about it, “—bout a year, maybe a little longer.”
·       Clever boy.
·       You drag your tongue a little higher, flicking over the sensitive skin of his nipple. He arches into your touch, hips canting up against yours, threatening to buck you from your perch. He tilts his head, trapping the phone between his cheek and his shoulder, reaching for you with both hands.
·       He takes your cheeks into his hands, pulling your head away from his chest. You grin up at him, taking in his expression—his pupils blown so wide with want they swallow all but the slimmest ring of brown iris, his lips parted and shining in the semi-darkness, flushed to the tips of his ears.
·       You surge up to kiss him, remembering only at the last moment, he needs to keep his mouth free to carry on the conversation. With a huff, you divert your course, and fix your lips back against the skin of Martin’s neck.
·       He swallows hard as you press your lips back against his pulse, pushing his hips back up into yours. You can’t keep the grin form your face as you feel him pressing up against you—the outline in his pants far more noticeable now.
·       His hands tremble slightly as they search for yours, dragging them down to the front of his jeans. You grin widens as you press down. Even through the thick denim, you can feel his cock throb under your palm. Someone’s excited.
·       You look down at him and he turns his head away, flushing a shade darker. He was so easy to wind up like this, it was almost unbelievable. A few kisses here, and gentle touch there, and he was a blushing, whining mess spread out on your sheets for you to enjoy however your pleased. You had chalked the over-sensitivity up to a lack of experience, and had expected it to fade after a few months, but it hadn’t. He was just that reactive, not that you were complaining.
·       With deft fingers, you pop the button of his jeans, quietly dragging the zipper down. He lifts his hips, wriggling helpfully as you drag his pants and underwear down over his thighs.
·       His cock bobs free, flushed and leaking already. You ghost the pads of your fingers over the soft skin of his shaft, and he shudders, his whole body tensing. His knuckles are white where he grips the phone, and his jaw is tight with the struggle of keeping quiet.
·       You wrap your hand around him, stroking gently from base to tip. His back arches off from the headboard, and he falls forward, burying his head in the crook of your neck. The phone receiver bumps against your collarbone, hard and hollow. The plastic is pleasantly cool against your feverish skin.
·       “Is it different being with a…uh…forgive the expression, normal person?”
·       “They’re a…” His laugh is breathy, almost a moan as he glances down at you, “a real handful.”
·       You barely stifle a laugh. You glare down at him in mock disapproval, and he sticks his tongue out at you. Cheeky little bastard. Though the colour still sits high on his cheeks, and his breathing comes through parted lips in short puffs, he seems to have adjusted well to your pace.
·       “Nothing you can’t handle though, I’m sure. Do they know about your…condition, shall we say?”
·       “They are aware, yes.”
·       The DJ laughs, “And how did that go? Can’t be an easy thing to hear—that your boyfriend might vamp out and eat you whole!”
·       Martin sighs, “I already told you, I don’t eat people…” His voice is much steadier now, even as your fingers brush along the sensitive spots on the underside of his cock. That means its time to switch things up. You can’t have him getting too comfortable. Where would the fun be in that? You tighten your grip—something that usually makes Martin thrash against the sheets and sob into your pillows—and begin to swipe your thumb gently over the tip of his cock with every upward stroke. He almost drops the phone as he yanks it away from his mouth. He covers the receiver with a shaking hand just in time, as a soft whine slips through his teeth, “Oh, fuck…”
·       You press a finger up against your lips, reminding him to be quiet. He presses up into your fist, his hips stuttering as your thumb traces a lazy circle around his head. His free hand flutters nervously about his mouth, as he tries desperately to keep quiet. His breath comes sharp and quick though his nose as he struggles to keep control. You shift your weight, pinning his hips back down with your thighs, and though he tries to buck back up against you, you hold him firmly in place. He whines high in his throat, shooting a pleading look up at you, but you just shake your head and point at the phone, ‘Keep going.’
·       Slowly, Martin brings the receiver back up to his ear. His tongue flickers out over his lips and he lets out a shaky breath, “S-Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”
·       “I said, ‘let’s circle back to what you said before,’ about not eating what you love. Why not? If you don’t need to kill to feed, why not feed on this special someone? Surely if they love you back, they’d be willing.”
·       You slow your hand, wanting to give Martin a fighting chance at answering. You were momentarily intrigued by the DJ’s line of questioning. You knew why Martin didn’t want to feed on you, but you were curious as to what sort of excuse he would give.
·       “W-Well…it’s come up mo-ore than once but…” Martin goes silent as you squeeze down on him, his posture going rigid, his head thrown back against the headboard.
·       The DJ lets the silence hang for a moment, but when Martin doesn’t finish his thought, he cuts in, “But…? You still there, Count?”
·       You let up, and Martin takes a big gulp of air, as though he had only just remembered he needed to breathe. “Y-Yeah, I’m here. It’s…it’s complicated.”
·       “Oh yeah? How?”
·       “Well, it’s not about whether they’ll let me or not…” He takes a shaky breath, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment as he steadies himself. When he speaks again, his voice is low, barely more than a whisper, “It’s that I want more.”
·       He tries in vain to buck up into your fist, his hips rolling in shallow, abortive little thrusts. His teeth are sunk into his lower lip, his eyes boring deep into your own.
·       ‘I want more.’ Those words were meant for you.
·       You blink down at him, momentarily dumb founded. Then a grin spreads across your face, sharp and hungry. If he wants more, you’ll give it to him—you’d give it to him until he was begging you to stop.
·       Sliding down his body, you know this is risky. Martin has never been good at keeping quiet, especially not when you’ve got your mouth on him. But the idea is simply too enticing to pass up on. When were you ever going to get the change to suck his cock live on air again? Besides, this might be good practice for him in the art of keeping his voice down—not that you didn’t love to hear him, it just might be nice to keep your…activities a secret from the whole neighbourhood for once.
·       You wriggle down onto your stomach, bringing your face level with Martin’s cock. Settling yourself into a comfortable position between his knees, you bend your head, pressing a gentle kiss against the tip of his cock.
·       He makes an involuntary choking sound in the back of his throat. You look up at him, resting your chin on the tops of his thighs. You want to give him the time he needs to make up his mind. If he tells you ‘no,’ or pushes you away, you’d gladly go back to stroking his cock and kissing his neck. You would get just as much pleasure from the shivers and whimpers you could wring out of him that way.
·       But he doesn’t tell you no, rather he pushes his hips up against you, pressing the tip hard against your lips. You flick your tongue out, ghosting for only a moment over his sensitive flesh, but it’s enough to make his eyes roll back, his long lashes fluttering against his cheeks. You do it again, and his mouth falls open. Though no sound escapes the look on his face is just as glorious.
·       This is going to be fun.
·       You crane your neck, opening your mouth and gently taking the head inside.  Martin’s free hand shoots to his mouth, and he bites down hard on the meat of his palm to stop himself from sobbing out loud. You press your tongue flat against him, dragging it slowly against his hot flesh. He thrashes beneath you, jostling the phone against his cheek.
·       Carefully, you sink further down on him, taking him in inch by inch. He lets out a long sigh around a mouthful of palm.
·       “What was that, Count?”
·       “Oohh…nothing,” Martin grinds out, “Just…closing a window.”
·       The lie was flimsy, but the DJ, despite his skeptical tone, didn’t seem interested in pressed him on it further, “…Right…so how is your control around this person, huh? Do you ever get the urge to just go to town on them?”
·       Martin’s laugh comes out as a low purr, and he bucks into your mouth once, “Mmm, sometimes.” Ever so slowly, as you’ve sunk down onto his cock, he’s been curling in on himself. His head now rests atop your own, and you can feel the heat of his cheek radiating against your scalp. If that heat is anything to go by, he must be positively scarlet.
·       “And what does that entail for you exactly?”
·       With a little jolt, his cock brushes up against the back of your throat. You swallow down a little choking noise, breathing steadily through your nose in an attempt to calm your gag reflex.
·       The warmth of Martin’s cheeks is suddenly gone as he straightens up again. His head hits the headboard with a thump. “I-I just wanna…” He swallows thickly, his breath coming hard, “Push into…p-push my teeth into their throat and just,” He bucks up into your throat, either unable, or simply unwilling to stay still any longer, “just take what I want.”
·       “Their…blood?”
·       You swallow around Martin and his back arches so far he practically lifts off the bed “Yes! Yes, everything they have to give!”
·       “Right…for a moment there it sounded a bit more, uh, sexually motivated than that.”
·       Again, your throat contracts around him, and a hiss of air escapes through his teeth, “No difference really…”
·       The DJ is silent for a moment, “Now that’s an interesting tidbit about you, Count. I’m sure all the ladies out there would love to hear more about that.”
·       Marin fucks up into your throat again with a soft groan, “I’m…I’m sure they would but,” His breath is coming harder now, “unfortunately, I’m taken.”
·       The DJ laughs, “Hear that, Count? That’s the sound of hundreds of hearts all over Braddock breaking. Sorry, folks but it looks like you’re out of luck.”
·       Oh. He’s taken alright. You can just imagine the anguished looks on their faces when you learn he gets taken almost every other night by another man.
·       Though you’d love to keep him in this position, you’re struck by the sudden, possessive urge to have him on his back. You tap his thigh thrice in quick succession and Martin withdraws almost immediately. He’s always so respectful of your wishes, even if he whines a little when his cock slips from the wet heat of your mouth. The sudden chill of the air on his wet cock sends a shiver through him.
·       You scoot back, grabbing Martin by the calves, and pulling him down into a more horizontal position. He fumbles with the phone, as it slips from his grasp, landing on the bed near his shoulder.
·       “What’s going on, Count?”
·       “S-Sorry, I just…I just dropped the phone is all. I’m…I’m feeling awful shaky these days.”
·       “Oh, yeah? How long has it been?”
·       Martin’s tone is distracted, “Ages.” He is far more focused on you, his dark eyes trained on yours as you loom over him.
·       The DJ asks another question, but you’re not listening as you slip Martin’s slick cock into your mouth, wasting no time in taking him back into your throat where he belongs.
·       Though you can’t make out his words so well over the rushing in your ears, Martin’s voice sounds strained, slightly higher than usual. He’s fighting the pleasure hard.
·       His free hand fists itself in your hair, pushing you down tighter against his cock. You swallow hard, trying desperately not to gag as he rolls is hips into your mouth. He’s come such a long way since the first time you asked him to fuck your mouth. He’d been so nervous that you did most of the work, bobbing your head faster and faster until he’d spilled deep into your mouth. He had apologized for almost an hour after, thinking the rasp in your voice was all his fault. Now? He’s practically asphyxiating you, and you hadn’t needed to say a word.
·       Martin is shaking—his thighs tremble on either side of your head, and the phone in his hands nearly slips from his grasp again with the force of the tremors passing through him.
·       You hollow your cheeks and he’s forced to cover the receiver again as a series of whimpers tear free from his lips. You press your tongue flat against the underside of his cock, and he sobs, his hips canting up off the bed.
·       “I-I’m close,” His frantic whisper comes tight through his teeth, an edge bordering on panic creeping into his voice. You grip his thigh and redouble your efforts, gaining a high whine in return.
·       “Hey, Count? Count there’s a lot of interference on your end…I can’t really hear you. I think this is where this conversation has to end, but call back another night, huh?” Martin doesn’t even respond, he simply slams the receiver back into the cradle, ending the call.
·       Almost as soon as the call has disconnected, he’s a whimpering mess. “Oh, fuck! Your mouth…I-I can’t! Is it okay? Is it okay if I…?”
·       He can’t bring himself to say it, but you know what he means and hum a soft affirmation around his cock. He cries out as the sound vibrates around his over-sensitive flesh.
·       With a whimper, he fucks up into your mouth, once, twice, then he shudders, his whole body going rigid as he cums. His knees clamp around your ears, squeezing your head as he shakes with the pleasure. His fingers pull at your hair, any tighter and you’re sure he’ll pull some out. But you press on, hollowing your cheeks, letting him ride the high for as long as he can.
·       The sound he makes as you swallow around him is nothing short of wrecked. His fingers claw the sheets as though he’s trying to drag himself away from you, from your mouth, but his body remains locked in place beneath you.
·       His cock twitches against your tongue as you slowly pull back, the wet drag of your tongue digging raw little whimpers from his throat, and a shudder passed through him when you pull of and his cock is again exposed to the chilly air of the room. His hips press forward, seeking the tight heat of your throat again. It would seem almost desperate if the motion wasn’t so sluggish, almost sleepy.  
·       He reaches for you then in the dark. His hands, hot and sweaty from exertion and gripping both the phone and the sheets for so long, grasp either side of your face as he pulls you up for a kiss.
·       The salty taste of his cum still coats your tongue, but he doesn’t seem to care as he presses his lips against yours with a desperation you rarely see in him.
·       Pulling back, you whisper against his lips, “Was that enough attention?”
·       He smiles, “For me? Yes.” He presses another soft kiss against your lips. “But now it’s your turn.”
49 notes · View notes
brelione · 4 years ago
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Just Me? (Kelce,Rafe,TopperXReader)
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Warnings:Not proof read,mentions of eating disorders,not proof read,hehehehehe yall arent ready <3
The Best Boys   Marvel Movies   Action Figures     Bird
You couldnt stop thinking about what had happened with Rafe.You had tried everything to get it off your mind.You tried going for a swim,wrapping your banadage over with plastic wrap like Kelce had told you but that just made you think of how much more fun it would be to play volleyball in the pool with the boys.
You tried watching tv,doing the dishes and baking but you had baked brownies.Who’s favorite food in the whole world is brownies?Rafe.Rafe fucking loves brownies.You couldnt even understand why Rafe would kiss you.He had literally seen you with tears in your eyes and vomit all over your face.That’s gross.You sat in your kitchen for a while,walking in circles on top of the kitchen table,debating on whether or not to call Kelce.
You couldnt talk to Rafe about it,that was just both awkward and ridiculous.Kelce would probably insist on inviting Rafe over to have a group discussion about the importance of communication and understanding.That left Topper.You huffed,deciding to get off your table and grab a diet coke from the fridge before calling him.
“Did your cut reopen?”He asked anxiously,not even bothering to say hello.He held the football that was previously being thrown back and forth to his chest,holding up a finger to Kelce as he listened to you. “An emotional one.Can you come over?”You asked,tapping your fingers against your marble countertop.
He frowned,looking at the dull sky through his dark sunglasses,letting out a small sigh. “Yeah,sure.So whats going on?Is it the type of emotional reopen that you need McDonalds and coffee or is it a tissue and Criminal Minds situation?”He asked,guessing it was probably the second one.
 “Neither.Are you alone?”You asked,intriguing him. “You want me to come over?Like just me?”He asked. “Are-are you with the others?”You asked,waiting anxiously for his answer.He stared back at a confused Kelce,humming. “Im with Kelce.Would you be okay if I brought him?”He asked you quietly.
 “No-do not bring Kelce.I dont know,just tell him that you have to clean your fishtank or that your uncle died or something.”You exclaimed quickly,not wanting to hurt Kelce’s feelings.Topper’s jaw dropped. “Dont fucking manifest my uncle dyint-just give me twenty minutes,alright?”He asked.You smacked yourself in the face with your palm,groaning. “Yeah,okay.”You answered,hanging up.
You spent those twenty minutes pacing around your house,jogging up and down your stairs until you were painting,tug at your shirt to cool yourself off.You got annoyed with the material,ripping it off your head and throwing it. 
“FUCK!”You shouted for no reason in particular.Everything was beginning to stress you out,walking down the stairs and fighting the urge to scream as the moment ran through your head once more.You always knew Rafe would drive you crazy.Your door opened,Topper standing there with a frozen coffee topped with whipped cream.
He looked over to you,surprised that you werent laying on your couch as usual.He glanced down at your chest for a split second before staring down at the floor,feeling guilty.He held out the coffee to you,eyebrows furrowing when you placed it on the table opposed to eating the whipped cream off. “What’s going on?”He asked,reaching out to grab your shoulders and make you look at him.
 “Im sorry,im really fucking stressed and I have a stomach ache and im going insane and you’re the only person I cant think to talk too.Did you tell Kelce you were comeing here?”You asked.He grabbed your wrist gently,pulling you onto the couch and looking at you with concern evident on his face.
 “I told Kelce that I left my oven on so I had to leave.Rafe is out on the boat with Sarah,Ward,Rose and Wheezie for the day.Can you tell me what’s going on?”He asked,dragging the coffee across the table so it was in front of you.You sighed,bringing your knee to your chest and wrapping your arms around it.
 “I just-god,shitting fuck.”You cursed,getting quiet as you pinched the bridge of your nose.Topper was getting more and more worried as the seconds passed,reaching out a hand to rub your thigh in attempts to comfort you.
He let out a small gasp when you gripped his wrist tightly,shaking it back and forth with slight aggression. “Literally dont tell anyone what im about to tell you,got it?Not Rafe,not Kelce,not Nemo,not your mom,not your uncle not anyone.Do you understand?”You asked,trying your best not to sound completely insane but not succeeding at all.
He nodded quickly,anticipating building up within him. “Yeah,I totally wont.I promise.Now tell me what the fuck is happening!”He exclaimed. “Rafe kissed me.”You answered,feeling your hands shake a little as Topper went silent.He didnt know what to think.He was mroe mad at Rafe than anything.They had all agreed to just stay friends with you and not to fuck anything up.
He felt jealous that he wasn't the one to kiss you but also felt more worried about how you felt about the whole situation.Clearly you didn't feel great about it otherwise he wouldn't be sitting on your couch.He was shocked that you had chose to talk to him over Kelce.You had always picked Kelce to speak to about your emotional problems.That only made Topper think more.
Why wouldn't you want Kelce to know? “God,topper.Can you please say something?You’re stressing me the fuck out.”You huffed.He licked his lips upon realizing that his jaw had dropped. “So he just kissed you?Like,it just happened?”He asked.You nodded,looking over to the coffee and the foamy white mess that had once been a beautiful swirly mountain.
 “So...how do you feel about it?Do you like him like that?”Topper asked,trying to keep himself from freaking out.You bit your tongue,looking over to your tv and deciding that this whole house was too awkward and too quiet.You reached for the remote,putting on some cartoons. “I don't even know.I don't know what to think or how to feel and I havent talked to Rafe since then and now I feel like shit.What do I even do?i cant call him or anything cause I have nothing to say.”You thought out loud,kind of wishing that Kelce was here to go through all of the possibilities to help you figure out your best option.
But he wasn't. “Thats okay.You don't really need to know right this second but if you want to keep things from getting awkward then-well,hear me out.I think its a good idea for you to talk to Rafe about this or just talk to Rafe.Right now things are awkward because you’re not talking to him.Just think about it,you’re avoiding each other which makes you both too uncomfortable to start a conversation which will make things worse.”He explained as if he had been through this type of thing before.
You bit the inside of your cheek,forcing your eyes to look at the tv where a rerun of The Loud House was playing. “You really think its a good idea for me to talk to him?”You asked.You saw him nod from the corner of your eye,hearing your stomach rumble right after. “Yeah,I do.You should call him and ask him to hang out or something.I can invite Kelce over too so its not awkward and you two can either talk about it or not.Just being around him in that setting will probably make you less nervous.”He handed you the frozen coffee and a straw,wanting you to drink it.
 “How stressed have you been?”He asked,relieved when you took a sip of the coffee.You pulled away from the straw,sighing. “Why?Do I seem overly stressed?”You asked,trying to figure out how he could tell you were anxious.On top of being friends with you for over five years he also watched Criminal Minds.He probably knew shit about your anxiousness.
He shrugged,looking around to see where you had thrown your shirt. “Your house smells like brownies.You used to bake so you’d feel closer to food and you stress bake sometimes.When was the last time you ate?”He asked,making your eyes widen and your heart thump.Shit.You hadnt eaten since the last time you saw Rafe,three days ago. 
“Yeah,its been a while,hasn't it?”He asked,knowing that he had caught you. “Did you do this on purpose?”He asked,tracing figure eights on your kneecap. “No,i've just been really stressed.”You answered.He nodded,telling you to drink your coffee while he went to make you something.You sat on the couch,stirring the coffee and thinking again.The thought of him kissing you invaded your mind as you thought back to everything that had led up to it.
You had wrapped your legs around his waist but that wasnt something uncommon for you to do.You’d wrap your legs around him and your arms around his shoulders and make him carry you around like a toddler.Something told you it was just the way the situation was,he was really close to you and no one else was around so why the fuck not?That was probably all it was but your brain kept going back to the way your stomach felt and the way your heart sped up.
It was something that you hadnt felt before and your brain was probably just trying to recreate the feeling by forcing you to think about it for 72 hours straight.Yeah,that made perfect sense.Your phone dinged,causing your heart to drop into your ass.Fuck.You picked it up,not daring to look at the screen as you built up the courage to look at it.
Three….two...one.You looked at the screen,eyes widening when you saw who it was.It was your uncle,one that you hadnt spoken too since your fourteenth birthday.That was the first red flag before you even read the message. “Your mother’s with me.She’s not coming back.”Was all it said.He was in Italy which meant that your mother was too.She had no reason to be in Italy.This had to be some sort of sick joke.Maybe your Uncle’s wife had took his phone and texted that to you just to get you on edge.
Deep down you knew that it wasnt true,that you mother really wasnt coming back.Your eyes began to water,a few tears rolling down your cheeks.What the fuck were you gonna do?There was no knowing if she would pay the bills from Italy or if you would lose your house and everything you owned because of her.You let out a muffled sob,covering your mouth with your hand.Topper heard,running out of the kitchen.
 “Hey,whats wrong?Is it about Rafe?”He asked,kneeling in front of you and grabbing you a paper towel to blow your nose.You shook your head,watching as he picked up your phone and read the message across the screen. “Its gonna be okay,I promise,okay?”He began to rub your back,wishing the Rafe or Kelce was here since he wasnt the best at comforting you.Rafe was best at cuddling and Kelce was best at talking and Topper preferred to just be emotional support. “No-no she’s not coming back and im gonna lose the house and im fucked!”You sobbed,his arms wrapping tight around you. “No,no you’re not.We’ll figure it out.”He answered,making the decision to call Rafe and Kelce to come and help with the situation.
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