#true henrietta von marzipan

[elijaheldridge]

Be Straight With Me

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Episodyssey - “Operation: C.A.R.A.M.E.L.”

Welcome to Episodyssey, my new review thing specifically for episodes of TV shows, where I talk about the best, the worst, and the weirdest episodes I can think of. I figured I’d start things off with the very episode that inspired me to make this series: Operation: C.A.R.A.M.E.L.

I think it’s safe to say that Codename: Kids Next Door is one of Cartoon Network’s best and most creative shows ever. It had a fun concept, loads of creative gadgets, a colorful rogues gallery of memorable and amusing villains, and a core cast of likable childish rogues. Throw in an incredibly intriguing lore, lots of great humor, and a willingness to reference everything from Star Wars to The Animatrix of all things, and you have a classic on your hands.

[These kids are alright]

Speaking of references, the episode I’m here to talk about contains a reference… to Fullmetal Alchemist. I mean really, what else could a massive transmutation circle be referencing? And not only that, the episode was concluding one of the best story arcs the show had done, one that had spanned many episodes and given one of the best characters a true rival while also referencing one of the best franchises known to man. All of the elements are here for a great episode, one that should be one of my favorites.

Too bad they fucked it all up.

[Galactic KND Numbuh One is very disappointed]

So to explain why this episode is a disaster, let’s rewind a bit and talk about the setup. Back in season three in the episode Operation: J.E.W.E.L.S. we were introduced to a new antagonist: Heinrich Von Marzipan. Imagine if Augustus Gloop was every single Nazi from the Indiana Jones movies at once, and there you have him.

[I bet you thought I was kidding]

This rotund German chocoholic came into conflict with Numbuh 5, who for those not in the know is a kid who could only exist in fiction due to being unbearably cool in everything she did. Throughout his appearances, he would show up, antagonize Numbuh 5, probably reference some old movie, and then fuck off again. In his second appearance he was turned into a living being made of chocolate in a Temple of Doom reference gone amok, and in his third appearance he was sent to the arctic prison base. After one more appearance came this, his fifth and final appearance.

This episode explained an incident that had been hinted at way back when he first appeared: the Guatemala incident, which is what soured his relationship with Numbuh 5 in the first place. Here it is explained that back then, he performed a ritual to create a sacred caramel that was made from the most prized quality of the human a ritual was performed on, which would create five pieces of caramel with flavor depending on the quality taken. Heinrich of course did this to himself and then devoured all the candies on his own, being the greedy bastard he is. This of course led to the side effect of his prized quality being lost forever, and he blamed Numbuh 5 for leaving him behind when she realized his greed would be his undoing.

His plan here is to use the ritual to steal the qualities from a large number of KND operatives, including Numbuh 5, and eat all their candies. With a massive transmutation circle and unfathomable gluttony, Heinrich gets ready to do the deed… until Numbuh 5 reveals she had his last candy all a long and gives it to him, allowing him to break the curse on himself. You see, all he needed to do was to share candy, and all of his problems would have been solved!

Or, well… I should say, all of HER problems.

You see, in a shocking swerve, it is revealed that Heinrich gave up his beauty. He was originally a pretty girl.

[No caption could possibly capture the sheer level of bafflement this exudes]

So this ending just… fucking comes out of nowhere. None of this was ever even remotely hinted at before, and this is a series that has some pretty solid continuity. It feels really awkward and confusing to have such a huge twist like this just be completely unforeshadowed, not to mention the fact that it was never even brought up, and there is no reason Numbuh 5 should have kept this a secret other than to shock the audience with the big twist.

It also opens up a world of kinda fucked up implications, namely that ugliness means being a fat boy. Like this is literally the conditions of the equivalent exchange here, you lose your most important trait, and it is explicitly stated Henrietta’s trait was her beauty... So losing her beauty turns he from a skinny blonde girl into the average political blogger on Tumblr: a fat, angry Nazi. I’m not sure what this says about our portly hero Numbuh 2, or his equally heoic yet somewhat obnoxious brother Tommy, or any of the other chubby characters in the show who are equally if not moreso fat than Heinrich. It just feels really weird for the show to equate being fat and a boy with being ugly, especially when not only are there at least two chubby heroic characters (the aforementioned Gilligan brothers), but the show’s art style doesn’t really make Heinrich look all that ugly. Like yeah he’s clearly a fat greedy bastard and his personality is foul, but he’s no Bling Bling Boy or anything.

[Just kidding, Heinrich wishes he exuded the raw sex appeal of BBB]

It just feels really weird and awkward, especially since the show has plenty of ways of making characters ugly - they even have it happen to a few characters here in the episode, WITHOUT changing their gender! This feels like it was only done for shock value; it really adds nothing and frankly just feels like a colossal letdown in terms of this plotline. I’m not going to pretend like this was probably going to rival the greatest episodes with its conclusion, but I think something a little more sensible than “Heinrich was a girl the WHOLE TIME! Also boys are fat and ugly lol” would have made for a more compelling ending to this mini-arc. At the very least, it would have given a far more satisfying conclusion to the rivalry between Heinrich and Numbuh 5. Instead, all we’re left with is a mediocre wrap-up, a waste of a great reference, and eight pornographic pictures on Paheal.

[For once I’m glad the internet didn’t remember to Rule 34 something]