#true fact I did read an entire chapter book by one of those souvenir light up pens

[lokidokeyartichoki]

“phones are disrupting natural sleep cycles” I mean true but also bold of you to assume I had one before the tech boom lol catch me out here reading chapter books by the light of my light up pens in the third grade

[mgsdays]

do u know any other comics/BLs like 19days? #🥪

Hey dear!

Ohh that's a good question. I don't know any quite like 19 days, an ongoing story that is ultra slow burn. I have read some other amazing BLs though. Here's some that I like:

.

Totally Captivated

• Complete | 49 chapters plus some extras

• General vibe: humor, romance

If you like the mafia background of 19 days, an amazing manhwa is Totally Captivated. Lighthearted, fun and very hot 🔥 One character gives me strong He Tian vibes, both in appearance and in attitude. Plus, the main couple has some fantastic chemistry.

Summary: Jung Ewon has always let his curiosity get the best of him, but even he could not have predicted that his latest venture would lead to him working for the mafia.

After cheating on his boyfriend and consequently being dumped, Ewon longs for the two of them to reconcile. However, his ex's new boyfriend, the handsome Eun Mookyul, begins to take an interest in him. Finding Ewon intriguing, Mookyul, a mafia boss, decides that he wants Ewon to become his underling—and that's just the start of Ewon's problems.

As the new errand boy in Mookyul's gang, Ewon must now learn to navigate the dangerous world of the mafia all while resisting the advances of his ex-boyfriend's new lover. Should he give in to his desires, he will risk more than just another heartbreak.

At the End of the Road

• Complete | 57 chapters plus extras

• General vibe: dark themes, romance, plot heavy

The summary makes this one sound pretty complicated so I procrastinated checking it out for a bit. When I finally read it I was blown away. The plot is incredible, the romantic interest is ugh so good. The entire story leaves me with a warm feeling of destiny and serendipity. It gets dark and it demands quite a bit of attention but it is definitely worthwhile.

Summary: After a car accident, Taemin finds himself in the body of Siwon, a victim of bullying at school. No longer a pushover, he starts standing up for himself but then meets Woojin, an old friend from the past. Somehow, Woojin immediately picks up Taemin's 'scent' from Siwon. What happened between these two in the past and how will it affect their future?

Walk on Water

• Complete | 62 chapters

• General vibe: romance, hot sex

Ok, this one is a delight to read. It's another one of those "straight guy goes gay for the right guy" kind of plot, but it's beautifully done. The characters' progress feels authentic. You're on the edge of your seat rooting for them. Plus, the art is amazing?? I'd stop reading sometimes just to admire it. @ the artist you didn't have to go this hard and yet you did dude!! Fantstic job.

Plus the sex scenes are just on fire. Phew 🥵

Explicit sex so don't check it out if you're under 18, stay safe, yadda, yadda.

Summary: To earn money, Ed decided to enter the pornographic industry. Secretly, he begins working under the alias of "Tommy". One day, it was suddenly decided that he would be filming as a bottom instead of a top and he's doing it with the famous Glen McQueen as his partner?

No. 6

• Complete | 9 books or 9 mangas (I read the books actually, but the manga is the same story)

• General vibe: social commentary, romance, plot heavy

My all time favorite on the list might be No. 6. No. 6 reads more like 'social political commentary ft. a couple that happens to be boys', rather than a boys love story per see. The plot doesn't revolve around their romance, their romance is also happening in the midst of the chaos. And it is beautiful to watch.

Story wise, No. 6 is a dystopic tale, and it brings up themes of consumption under capitalism, outsourcing of labor, outsorcing of inequalities and goverment control. It's not recent so you might have read it already - if you haven't I can't recommend it enough.

A PERFECT LIFE, IN A PERFECT CITY

For Shion, an elite student in the technologically sophisticated city No. 6, life is carefully choreographed. School, study, and the occasional visit with his friend and classmate Safu. One fateful day, however, he takes a misstep, sheltering an injured boy his age from a typhoon. Known only as Rat, this boy is a VC – a fugitive living outside the computerized tapestry of city control – and helping him will throw Shion’s life into chaos and start him down a path to discovering the appalling secrets behind the superficial perfection of No. 6.

Seven Days

• Complete | 2 volumes

• General vibe: school life, romance

No way you haven't read this, but just in case: seven days!! Go check out seven days!! Seven Days is the BL. School life plots peaked with this one haha It's just two volumes and the story is beautifully done. I re-read from time to time when I want a pick me up.

Summary: On a whim, high school third-year Yuzuru Shino asks out first-year Toji Seryo, who is notorious for being a weeklong lover—he’ll date the first girl to ask him out Monday morning and then promptly dump her by the following Monday! The boys start dating, and by Tuesday, the first inklings of attraction hit. Can these two put words to their feelings before Monday comes, or are old habits too hard to break?

Blue Sky Complex

• Complete | 23 chapters

• General vibe: school life, humor, romance

Another school life story for the list. Blue Sky Complex has some truly hilarious moments, with teenage fumblings that ache with how true to life they are. Zero drama, zero outside interference, just the two main characters slowly (but surely) figuring things out.

Summary: Narasaki only wanted a place where he could sit and read books in peace, but was blackmailed by his teacher into supervising a delinquent called Terashima while working at the school library.

As they spend their days in silent but close proximity, they begin to feel drawn to each other. And then...

Doukyuusei

• Complete | 2 volumes (second is called Sotsugyousey)

• General vibe: lightehearted fun

Fun fact: I went to Japan once and I wanted to buy a book in Japanese just to have it, you know? I don't speak Japanese, I just wanted a book as a souvenir. I bought Doukyuusei. Clearly I'm biased towards this story in particular haha

Everything by this author is gold. Their art style flows, the characters have a certain lightness to them that makes them almost dance in the pages. The author usually draw at least one of the leads with long hair and the hair is so well done, GOD. I could gush about the hair all day.

Perhaps one of the most realistic ones of the list, Doukyuusei is a school life story about when you meet someone at just the right time.

Summary: "A boy boy met a boy. They were in the flush of youth. They were in love that felt like a dream, like sparkling soda pop."

High school students Hiraku Kusakabe and Rihito Sajou are as different as day and night. But opposites attract and before they know it, they've embarked on a journey neither one can quite define but which anyone with eyes can see is "Love."

Mo Dao Zu Shi

• Complete | 126 chapters

• General vibe: slow burn, historical, epic romance

At the risk of being very cliche here: if you haven't read Mo Dao Zu Shi, you're wasting time. Go. This one isn't a manga, but it a fantastic book. It became uber famous for a reason, you know? All the attention is very much deserved. I can't emphasize enough how good it is.

You can watch the TV show The Untamed as well (and the acting is fantastic) but, to me, the experience is just not the same. The TV show removes all explicit romance references from the story, in order to comply with China's censorship. The book leaves nothing out. It is very much a romance, through and through, and it's an epic one. There's slow burn, pining, misunderstandings, fighting everything and everyone for your loved one and coming out stronger on the other side. Truly worth the read.

As the grandmaster who founded the Demonic Path, Wei Wuxian roamed the world in his wanton ways, hated by millions for the chaos he created. In the end, he was backstabbed by his brother and killed by powerful clans that combined to overpower him. He incarnates into the body of a lunatic who was abandoned by his clam and is later, unwillingly, taken away by a famous cultivator among the clans — Lan Wanji. This marks the start of a thrilling yet hilarious journey of attacking monsters, solving mysteries, and raising children. From the mutual flirtation along the way, Wei Wuxian slowly realizes that Lan Wangji, a seemingly haughty and indifferent poker-face, holds more feelings for Wei Wuxian than he is letting on.

[chuchiotaku]

Ok, first of all

HOW DARE YOU MAKING ME THINK I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL JANUARY FOR THE NEW CHAPTER!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE HEART ATTACK I HAD THIS MORNING WHEN I SAW THE UPDATE!?!?

Ok, now that, ehm... I'm calmed down, let me gush on your art piece once again.

I loved everything. I said last time that I wanted some shocking dose of angst, but I didn't knew how heart clenching would have been seeing Ron saying goodbye to... his friends, again, and for the last time. How many things not said, how many plans that will never see the light, how many... apologies, never to be make...

I'm happy that the mirror made him see (and hear) what his loved one truly thought of him, but I'm still bitter for the fact that he had to DIE before he actually got some vocal recognition.

But moving on from depressing topics, I loved seeing the sibling so tight with each other and Harry! I felt almost as if you anticipated Harry's second year summer, and now they get to see Sirius too? Original Harry would be terribly proud of his Ron and terribly jealous of that little Harry...

I really liked Pettigrew's breakdown at the end of the process. And I loved (and hated too, of course) his threats: making 'regret to be born' the same guy that fought and gained the upper hand on Bellatrix? Twice!? Ok buddy, whatever makes you feel better... But if in order to hurt Ron you target one of his brothers or Ginny... well, it has never been a pleasure meet you.

And it's also good seeing Pandora alive! Another Truespartan's Fateverse character added in the rooster, I can't wait to see her in action!

And at least this time Albus is actually ackwnoledging Ron, wonder if he's already planning a role for him in his chessplay againts Tom. I hope he will grow to love him as he'll love Harry.

And I know tastes are subjective but... I think the anon was just short sighted, Ron is totally the person that for his loved ones is ready to move mountains and seas (Buckbeak's trial proved it. How he started searching for past trials in his free time is proof how much is ready to invest himself if it means to help his friend) and I don't expect that everything is going to be all fine and dandy the whole time. Peter's threats scream 'FORESHADOWING' for an ipotetical plot in the third year (way less traumatazing regarding what happened with him in Fate... brrr). Ron is just... trying to sow the best he can, and only at the reaping time we'll see what he did right or wrong.

Keep it going! You are an increadible writer! See you next time, and happy new year!

(And give me some Daphne showtime damn it!!)

First off, anon, happy New Year! 🎉🎉🎉

Ahaha, sorry about the mini-heart attack.  I was aiming to post chapters 14 and 15 relatively close together because they’re initially planned to be one chapter but I hit some snags so yeah, chapter 15 got delayed.  But at least it’s up now, right?  :)

[Warning: Long response ahead. ]

I said last time that I wanted some shocking dose of angst, but I didn't knew how heart clenching would have been seeing Ron saying goodbye to... his friends, again, and for the last time. 

That part at the mirror was very relatable, I think.  There are things we will always want, but deep down, we know they can never be.  In order for Ron to move forward, he had to acknowledge that and let go, something he learned he had to do after that Owlery scene with Harry.  

Not that he entirely has, mind you.  But it’s a good step forward.

I'm happy that the mirror made him see (and hear) what his loved one truly thought of him

It’s a comforting interpretation, but I feel the need to remind my readers that the Mirror of Erised shows only the deepest desires of its viewer. The scene where the new life versions of Ron’s loved ones take over the older ones, telling Ron that they accept and love him, is Ron’s true deepest desire now that he time travelled. Not that it is what’s real.  That’s why Ron broke down, because he knows deep down it’s just a fantasy.  Weell, we know that’s not entirely true, but to him it is.  

(The Deluminator souvenir from Death and its visions, on the other hand...)

but I'm still bitter for the fact that he had to DIE before he actually got some vocal recognition.

You know what they say: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.  :shrugs: Honestly, Ron is such a taken-for-granted character both in the books and in the fandom, it’s so frustrating...

Anyway, getting off the angst train!

I loved seeing the sibling so tight with each other and Harry! I felt almost as if you anticipated Harry's second year summer, and now they get to see Sirius too? 

I wanted to show the tight knit Weasley dynamic JK claims they have but never really showed because we are limited to Harry’s narrative (which is understandable).  And as what I have planned for second year summer: safe to say, it will start off like what happened in the books before it veers off canon course.  Because Sirius and Remus are there, and Ron knows it. :)

Original Harry would be terribly proud of his Ron and terribly jealous of that little Harry... 

But of course!  I’d like to think that Ron is one of the, if not THE, characters in his age group that Harry holds such high regard for.  

And who’s to say jealous Harry won’t make an appearance? When Ron’s making more friends outside the Gryffindor house, and a certain someone may get close enough to threaten the best friend position?  😉😉😉

I really liked Pettigrew's breakdown at the end of the process. And I loved (and hated too, of course) his threats: making 'regret to be born' the same guy that fought and gained the upper hand on Bellatrix? Twice!? Ok buddy, whatever makes you feel better... 

Pettigrew doesn’t know who he’s messing with, but Ron too is underestimating the rat a little too much.  Good thing that won’t cause him any problems in the future. 😒

But if in order to hurt Ron you target one of his brothers or Ginny... well, it has never been a pleasure meet you. 

Now that would make Pettigrew wish he was never born.  Haha!

And it's also good seeing Pandora alive! Another Truespartan's Fateverse character added in the rooster, I can't wait to see her in action!

Pandora is Luna’s mother’s canon name, but yes I did get the inspiration from Fate, as well as The Red Knight.  But she won’t be around until Book 2.  Don’t worry, it will come.  I hope.  :sweatdrop:

And at least this time Albus is actually ackwnoledging Ron, wonder if he's already planning a role for him in his chessplay againts Tom. 

Of course Albus will notice a smart and wise beyond his years eleven year old who became best friends with Harry Potter, managed to take on a troll then get involved in the reveal and arrest of a mass murderer who may have something more in common with him than he originally thought (coughmirroroferisedcough).  How Ron will benefit from this attention (if he ever will) or how he’ll deal with this new complication will be part of the story’s fun.  And we’re just getting started.

I hope he will grow to love him as he'll love Harry.

I think many can already tell where I’m planning to go with Albus and Ron’s relationship.  The specifics, however, are the ones I can leave you guys guessing.  It will be good!  Hopefully! 🤞

And I know tastes are subjective but... I think the anon was just short sighted, Ron is totally the person that for his loved ones is ready to move mountains and seas (Buckbeak's trial proved it. How he started searching for past trials in his free time is proof how much is ready to invest himself if it means to help his friend)

I saw it as Guest being too fixated at what happened in the books that they didn’t take into account that the second I changed something in the fic, the butterfly effect is bound to occur.  In fact, Ron’s very presence in a world that isn’t what he left behind is already creating many ripples.  I honestly also saw it as them underestimating Ron a bit.  He’s a typical boy during most of the books: lazy with his studies because he is unmotivated.  Give him purpose and you’ll get to see him really shine, exactly like what you said about the Buckbeak thing.

It’s canon that Ron is smarter than he appears.  I mean, can a normal eleven year old remember the exact names of the laws on dragons, even if their brother is a dragon tamer?  

(It’s also another good basis on how much Ron admires Charlie that he can remember that much! Sorry, Solstice Muse turned me into a Charlie/Ron bro fluff fangirl after Ickle Ronniekins)

I don't expect that everything is going to be all fine and dandy the whole time. Peter's threats scream 'FORESHADOWING' for an ipotetical plot in the third year (way less traumatazing regarding what happened with him in Fate... brrr). 

Fate is a very heavy read, combining some of my favorite Ron-centric tropes while taking their fic to a newer, darker spin.  Truespartan has done a wonderful with it so far (I haven’t finished it yet,).  But as most of you can already tell, my story will be fart different from theirs.

That doesn’t mean there won’t be some dark moments in TBA.  And I’m so thrilled that you got the idea behind Pettigrew’s threats.  They ARE foreshadowing what is to come starting Year 3.  But what exactly?  Care to take a guess?  

Ron is just... trying to sow the best he can, and only at the reaping time we'll see what he did right or wrong.

Very true.  Although to me, it’s not a matter of whether it’s just “right or wrong”, and more of “can Ron deal with the consequences of the changes he made, and whether those consequences are worth the changes?”

Example: from a strictly moral standpoint, revealing Pettigrew and clearing Sirius’ name is the best good and what Ron should do from that thematic perspective.  However, these actions will cause some events to change from what he knew, and even cause entirely new ones (i.e. the plot of Year 3).  Is it worth the possibility of rendering Ron’s future knowledge almost useless?  Who knows? 

Keep it going! You are an increadible writer! See you next time, and happy new year!

Thank you so much for your kind words!  You guys are the reason TBA is still running even after all these years and me taking long breaks.  I hope to finish TBA Year 1 within 2021 so please be patient with me.  I’ll do my best!

(And give me some Daphne showtime damn it!!)

Oh, trust me, I have big plans for Daphne and Astoria.  Might get flak for it in the future, but for this, I’ll have to stick with my guns.  Oh dear...

💖 Happy New Year to you too, anon! And thanks for the ask. 💖

[paradisobound]

I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 16

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count: 2.6k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing and sexual themes

Rating: Explicit

Updates will be every Sunday around 1pm EST

**MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3 | WATTPAD**

“I need a week off from work.” 

Louise looks up from her desk where she is sat in front of Phil, who was currently stood with his hands in his jacket pocket. He didn’t know why he was even doing this. She wasn’t going to give him the time off and this was stupid…he was being stupid. 

“What for?” She asks, folding her hands on her desk and staring at him with intent. 

“I would like to take a holiday for myself and I’d like a week to do that.” Phil can feel his voice shaking but he’s trying to remain as calm and confident as he can in hopes of landing this week off. 

“And where are you going that’s going to require you to take a week off?” Louise presses. 

“I would like to go to Los Angeles.” Phil says. “I’ve already looked into tickets and I would like to book them today if possible. This is why I need this week off.” 

“And what on Earth are you going to be doing in LA?” Louise asks.

“I’m visiitng Dan.” 

“Daniel Howell?” Louise questions. “What for?” 

Phil feels his cheeks heat up. “I would like the time off so I can go and visit him.” 

“And when are you expecting to have this time off?” 

Phil felt himself tense. He genuinely didn’t know. He hadn’t thought that he’d get this far ahead. When would he do this? Would he even had time to find plane tickets? 

“Uh…” 

“Well, Lester,” Louise says with a smirk. “We can allow you time off for next week if you really want it. But I have one request.” 

Phil looked at her puzzled. “What is it?” 

“Bring me back a souvenir from Hollywood, please? My daughters would love something from the United States.” 

Phil laughed and smiled at her, nodding his head because he’ll try and remember to do that. He’s met her daughters Darcy and Pearl before at bring your child to work day and he’s adored them. 

He quietly left the room after the made sure everything was in fact okay for him to take the time off and he headed back to his desk, eager to message Dan and let him know he was gonna try and find plane tickets even though he―in the back of his head―feared the worst. It was going to be way too sudden to buy them and every thought in his head was telling him that he’s not gonna find anything. 

He tried not to let that deter him though. He got to his desk and sat down, opening up his laptop and temporarily ignoring the Illustrator file he had started for the new logo he was doing for the BBC Radio 1 advertisements. 

Phil opened his messages and quickly typed one out to Dan. He explained how he did get the time off but he hadn’t thought that far ahead about actually finding plane tickets and now he’s feeling a bit lost. He hoped Dan wouldn’t get mad or even think otherwise of him for that one and being a bit of a mess. 

When he’s done, he closes that window and opens up Illustrator again, ready to dive back into his work when a tap resonates on the wood of his desk. He looks up, following the noise, and sees PJ, having wheeled over to his desk. 

“What were you talking to Louise about?”

“I needed to try and get some time off.” Phil says, sitting back in his desk chair and crossing his left leg over the other. 

“Oh? Where are you heading?” PJ asks, his glasses falling slightly to the bridge of his nose. 

“I’m hoping to go to Los Angeles.” Phil says, his voice wavering. “But I’m not sure I can even find tickets.” 

“What are you going to be doing in LA?” PJ questioned. “Is it one of those YouTuber conventions? I heard that was happening but I don’t know the dates.” 

Phil shook his head. “No. I’m actually visiting Dan.” 

“Dan?” 

Phil nodded. 

“Why are you going to LA to visit Dan?” PJ pressed. 

“He wants me to go to LA.” Phil says. “He wants to show me around and he wants to just spend time with him. But he has filming around LA still for the next two weeks and so he can’t leave.” 

“Don’t you think it’s a bit…daft to go all the way to LA just to meet up with Dan?” PJ asks. “I mean, I’m not judging by any means but this is a big step and a lot of money.” 

“I don’t care about the money.” Phil finds himself saying, which isn’t entirely true. He didn’t really have a lot of extra money to spare between paying bills, paying his rent, and buying his and Spike’s food and other necessities. But he’d take a trip to LA to see Dan no matter the cost. 

“When do you leave?” 

Phil bites his lip. “I kind of don’t have plane tickets yet.” 

PJ’s eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly. “You…Phil, what do you mean you don’t have tickets yet? They’re plane tickets. You can’t just get them whenever you want, they do become sold out.” 

“I know, PJ!” Phil countered. “Dan and I just were talking the other night and he sounded like he really wanted me to come and see him and I really want to see him too. We never really thought of the logistics of it but..” Phil paused. “I really miss him, PJ.” 

“I know,” PJ says, his lips curling up in a smile. “I only hear you talk about him every day that you’re here. You have a fondness for him.” 

Phil feels his cheeks heat up as he gets ready to retort against what PJ said. He opens his mouth, about to say something when his computer lets out a beep and he turns and sees the bubble for one new message. 

He opens it and reads it. 

Dan: Oh thats not a problem ill just send my jet to pick you up

“Dan has a private jet.” 

“That’s not all that shocking.” PJ says with a light chuckle. “I imagine with the money he’s taking in that he probably can afford a fleet of them.” 

“But he’s sending his private jet for me to come to LA on.” 

“True love.” PJ says with a smile. 

“It’s not love, PJ.” Phil says. “We’re not dating.” 

“Not for long, you’re not. Maybe he’s flying you to LA to plan some big extravagant way to ask you to get into bed with him.” 

Phil blushed. “He wouldn’t have to try too hard for that one, mate. Kind of already breached that line.” 

PJ looked at Phil, his green eyes going a bit bigger again in surprise. “Do spill!” 

“It’s not like we slept together.” Phil begins, not being able to have a filter now that he’s speaking directly with PJ, someone who he considers to be his best friend. “But we did kind of get each other off? But it was over Skype. Not like directly us with each other.” 

“And how did it feel?” PJ asked. 

Phil felt his brows furrow. “What do you mean ‘how did it feel?’. It felt bloody incredible.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” PJ began to clarify. “But being with Dan intimately, even if it was over a screen, how did that make you feel?” 

Phil sat back in his chair again and thought to the way Dan looked over Skype. Dan was gorgeous anyway. He didn’t need any help to showcase his natural beauty. From his hair to his eyes to his skin to his smile, he was stunning. And Phil very much was in awe every time he thought of how he’d managed to snag the attention of such a well know heartthrob. 

“I really like him.” Phil says, not answering the question directly. “You know, maybe I’ll ask him out when I’m in LA.” Phil continues, biting his lip. “I think I’m ready now to move past this line and see where it gets us.”

PJ flashed him a smile. “I’m really proud of you. And I can’t wait to hear of the new ‘IT’ couple that comes out of Hollywood when it gets out that you guys are dating.” 

“I really don’t want to think about that.” Phil said with a nervous chuckle. “But right now, I kind of just want to focus on finally admitting my feelings regarding Dan.” 

PJ leaned over the desk and pat his arm affectionately. Phil flashed him a smile back and then they went back to work. Phil sent Dan back a message and a then he went back to finishing his logo. When it was time for them to both leave, they hopped on the same Tube train and went to a pub that they both liked for dinner and a few drinks. 

***

“Hey guys! Phil here…no, that’s rubbish isn’t it?” 

Phil leaned back on his couch and rubbed his hands stubbornly over his face. He was never going to the introduction right for his video. They all sounded so forced and rubbish and he was beginning to seriously doubt that he’d be able to do this. 

He sat back up and looked at the camera on the tripod again and took a deep breath. He let it back out, forced a smile, and tried again. “Hey guys! It’s Phil here! And today, I’m going to be answering your questions. I received a lot of them from everyone and I’m really eager to answer them so let’s jump right in.” 

He smiled at himself. That would work! He reckoned he sounded pretty good right then and there. He got out his laptop and pulled up the list of questions he had chosen and sceenshotted and began again. 

“First question is from Nicki underscore Rivera nineteen who asks ‘didn’t you used to make YouTube videos a while ago? What happened?’ Well Nicki, I did used to make videos back in…2009? Yeah, I think that’s correct. But then I got busy with life and being an adult and I kind of lost touch in something I enjoyed so much.” 

When he was done, he mentally applauded himself for getting through the first question. He just had ten more to get through but he could do it! 

Phil went through each question one by one and answered each one as honestly as he could without leaking too much of his private information. He saw so many of the questions asking for him to clarify his relationship with Dan or other prying for pictures of him and Dan. Frankly, Phil didn’t ever want to just speak so openly at him and Dan to people he knew as strangers. 

He finished up the last question and then said his goodbyes to the camera and reached over, hitting the record button again to shut it off. He slowly took off the camera from the tripod and put it into his lap as he looked at the footage the best he could on the small view finder. 

Phil turned off the camera and pulled out the SD card before taking his laptop with him to the breakfast bar and setting up a mini office there so he could begin to edit the video. 

Spike had been sleeping the entire time in his bed in the corner which Phil was grateful for. He didn’t need his little fur baby jumping into the shot every few seconds because he wanted a treat or a belly rub. Although, Phil will probably give him a treat later for being such a good boy while he filmed. 

Before Phil had sat down and begun to film, he’d briefly talked to Dan over the phone. It was surreal, really, to talk to Dan as he was waking up and Phil was just getting home from being with PJ. The time differences were still something he wasn’t quite able to get used to but pretty soon, he’d be with Dan for a short while in the same timezone. 

The thing though was that they haven’t discussed what happened over Skype that one night. And maybe Phil is overthinking it just a tad, because he does tend to do that, but it is bothering him that he doesn’t really know if Dan was having second thoughts or not. Sure, he could say something to Dan. But wouldn’t it be awkward to open up a conversation by saying “hey, are you okay with the way we got off while on Skype?”

He should talk to Dan. He knows that he should but he can’t seem to bridge that awkwardness to do so. What if he had been reading these signs all wrong? What if Dan really was looking for just someone to quickly sleep with to get his mind off from everything else? But Dan wouldn’t do that? Phil wouldn’t let his mind believe that. 

Fuck. 

Phil doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t know what to do. 

His phone suddenly goes off and the loud sound of the vibrations against the counter throw him off his balance and he jumps into the air with a gasp. He quickly picks up his phone and looks at it. 

Dan: have to attend a party tonight with the cast but id rather be on Skype with you :( 

Attached with the text is a picture of Dan half awake in his bed, his eyes hardly open and his curly hair falling over his face. Phil feels himself coo a little bit. Dan looks adorable. He looks so peaceful and dreamy and Phil can’t wait to experience what it’s like to wake up and see Dan like that, just looking at him. 

Phil: stop being so pretty :( 

This was testing the waters. If Dan replies back with a flirty text, clearly what happened over Skype will be fine and all will move on. If he doesn’t…Phil bites his lip. He really doesn’t want to think of that outcome if he’s being honest. 

Dan: im not pretty your prettier 

Phil can forgive all of the grammar and spelling mistake in Dan’s text through the feeling of the flutters in his heart. Okay, Phil feels a bit better about this now. 

Phil: I can’t wait to see you on Sunday. I really miss you. 

Dan: i miss you too 

Dan: why aren’t you in bed with me 

Dan: im sleepy and i wanna cuddle 

Phil feels his heart melt out of his chest. Maybe he shouldn’t be feeling this lovestruck over something that he’s not even sure of yet, but he can’t help it. He can’t help it when he’s texting someone as beautiful and stunning as Dan. 

He’s never wanted someone as beautiful and stunning as Dan. In just a few short weeks…barely two months…Phil has done something that he hasn’t been able to do in a very long time. 

He’s fallen in love. 

He’s fallen in love with the Skype calls. The pictures. The texts. The calls. Dan’s voice, his eyes, and his smile. 

Phil’s fallen hard for Dan. 

And all he can do is pray to whatever God is up there that Dan feels the same way. 

Phil continues to text Dan for a while until his eyes get tired and he has to force himself to end the conversation. But before he goes, he sends Dan a voice message saying goodnight and then he gets out his suitcase. 

He may still have a week before he leaves, but that doesn’t mean he can’t pack for what is about to be the most amazing time of his life. 

[lixxiecorn]

Totally Normal - Steve and Bucky

Part two of Totally Normal. Like I said with part one, Totally Normal is a multi-chaptered fic I’m writing on ao3 but since the chapters function on their own as one shots, I’m posting them here as well. 

This chapter features The Lightning Thief-The Percy Jackson Musical which if you want to know more about their official website is here. I really enjoyed it and if it’s coming to a town near you I would definitely recommend seeing it!

Read the entire story on ao3

…

It had started out with a simple statement from MJ at lunch one day.

MJ always had a book on her no matter what. Gym Class? Book. Fire drill? Book. End of the world as we know it? Book. Which is why it didn’t surprise Peter to see her reading during lunch. What did surprise him, however, was what book she was reading.

“Are you reading Percy Jackson?” Peter asked as he and Ned sat down across from her.

“Yeah.” MJ responded, not even looking up.

“Uhh, don’t you read stuff that typically have a bit more meaning?” Ned pointed out, confused.

“I’m preparing.” MJ told them.

Peter and Ned shared an exasperated and confused look. “For?” Peter prompted.

MJ sighed and put a bookmark in her book before setting it down.

“My dad was going through current Broadway shows because why not and he came across Percy Jackson The Lightning Thief: The Musical. Since he knew that I enjoyed the book when I first read it, he got us tickets for this weekend and I’m rereading the book to prepare.” MJ explained, then picked the book up and began to read again.

“Wait, Lightning Thief is a musical? Is it any good?” Ned asked. MJ ignored the question, seemingly having had enough of the conversation. 

“Let’s google it.” Peter suggested.

He pulled out his new Starkphone, he used to have an older one, but DUM-E had accidentally broken it, and pulled up google. He quickly typed in the musical’s name and hit search, surprised with all the results that came up. Going to YouTube, Peter found the trailer for the musical and with one earbud in his ear and the other in Ned’s, they watched it.

“Oh my god. Or should I say gods? This looks amazing.” Ned said in disbelief.

“Yeah, and I know just the people to go see it with.” Peter responded, an idea forming in his mind.

…

“There’s a musical!” Bucky exclaimed, excitedly. Peter had just told him and Steve about the musical, and as he expected, they were extremely excited.

It wasn’t overly surprising that the supersoldiers were excited, they both had enjoyed the Percy Jackson books and they liked going to musicals. They said it was something they could do that made them feel like normal citizens for once instead of superheroes.

“And we have tickets for this weekend?” Steve asked in slight disbelief.

“Yep!” Peter confirmed, popping the p.

“How did you manage to make that happen?” Bucky asked.

“I asked my dad who is a billionaire, he does nice things for people sometimes.” Peter said, shrugging.

…

Both Steve and Bucky dressed up nicely for the show, while Peter wore his Camp Half-Blood t-shirt and kakis. They made their way to their seats, third row courtesy of Tony, and sat down. Peter spotted MJ and threw her a wave. She barely got a chance to wave back before Steve pulled Peter down into his seat. The lights dimmed and the show began.

The three Avengers laughed all the way through ‘The Day I Got Expelled’. Peter agreed wholeheartedly with Percy in ‘Strong’ when he talked about ADHD. Bucky seemed to find ‘Another Terrible Day’ quite funny. They all loved ‘The Campfire Song’, especially when Percy sang about his dad and owned it. Peter really related to Percy in ‘Good Kid’ about how he didn’t deserve what was happening to him, because with all the hardships in Peter’s life, he understood that frustration. Steve’s face when Percy said hell in ‘Killer Quest!’ was hilarious, and Peter could hear Bucky whisper “Language” tauntingly to Steve.

…

“So, what do you guys think so far?” Peter asked at intermission, munching on some skittles.

“Steve must have hated it because Percy said a bad word.” Bucky teased, looking at his friend.

Peter giggled as Steve rolled his eyes. “That was one time!” Steve exclaimed.

“One time’s enough.” Peter informed him, grinning.

“I thought I’d see the three of you here.” A voice said. Peter spun around and came face to face with MJ.

“Miss Jones.” Steve greeted, extending his hand to her. She shook it and gave Bucky a small wave which he returned.

“Hey MJ.” Peter said, smiling.

“Hi loser.” She responded, stealing one of his skittles.

“Hey!” Peter squawked, pulling the bag away from her. “Don’t you have a random bag of M&M’s or something?”

“No, I left those at home today.” MJ replied, her lip twitching up in a smile.

The lights flickered, signaling intermission coming to an end.

“Well, I better go back and find my dad.” MJ decided, grabbing another skittle before walking off with a wave.

“She took my skittle.” Peter said in shock, staring at the bag.

“Come on Peter, wouldn’t want to miss the rest of the show.” Bucky prodded, giving Peter’s shoulder a slight push.

Peter got up and followed the supersoldiers back to their seats. They sat back down, and the second act began.

All three agreed that ‘Lost!’ pretty accurately described most of the Avenger’s missions, which was basically saying they were a mess. Bucky and Steve told Peter that he was the squirrel, which Peter agreed with. ‘My Grand Plan’ was another one of Peter’s favorites, Annabeth reminding him of MJ and Nat, two of the strongest women he knew. Everyone enjoyed ‘Drive’ because one, it was a bop, and two it really encompassed the different events that occurred throughout the book. Both Bucky and Steve got a little emotional during ‘The Tree on the Hill’, Thalia’s sacrifice reminded them of when Bucky fell off the train many years ago. Peter politely pretended not to notice their tears or the face they were tightly gripping each other’s forearms. Bucky liked ‘Son of Poseidon’, he identified with the accepting yourself aspect of the song due to his own struggles with accepting his past as the Winter Soldier. The part Steve wasn’t a fan of (Peter and Bucky liked it but that’s besides the point) was ‘The Last Day of Summer’. He liked the song in itself but the fight between Luke and Percy reminded him too much of his own fight with Tony and he didn’t ever want to go back to that. All three loved ‘Bring on the Monsters’ and the message of unity and hope it brought, plus the references to all the different songs at the end was amazing.

As soon as the curtain dropped and the lights came up, Peter ran around collecting the confetti that had been shot out over the audience, as well as some of the toilet paper that had been blown out during the water scene. Once satisfied, the trio went to the souvenir shop. Steve insisted on buying everyone a tour t-shirt, as well as buying one of the squirrel stuffed animals. Peter rolled his eyes but couldn’t deny the fact that he loved the squirrel.

“On a scale from one to 10, how much did you guys love it?” Peter asked once they had gotten into Bucky’s jeep.

“I’d say a solid 9.” Steve decided.

“I give it an 8 because Percy didn’t wear the flying shoes in the book, Grover did.” Bucky pointed out.

“But the references! Like Bianca was the one talking in the Lotus Casino in Drive and they mentioned the dam snack bar in that song too!” Peter exclaimed.

“True, but the shoes…” Bucky said, glancing in the rear-view mirror at Peter.

Peter dug through the bags to find his squirrel stuffed animal and was surprised to find two of them.

“Steve, you got two squirrels by accident.” Peter said, holding up the stuffies.

“No, I bought two on purpose.” Steve corrected.

“Why?” Peter asked, confused.

“Tony’s squirrely.” Steve said, shrugging. Peter laughed at that the entire way back to the tower.

[geek-patient-zero]

Part 1, Chapter 6

Or: Phantomas of Notre Dame

Blood War: Masquerade of the Red Death Trilogy Volume 1

Paris—March 12, 1994

The official smile of Paris is the sneer. The rich sneer at the middle class. The middle class sneer at the poor. And they all sneer at the hordes of tourists who flood their city each year.

I’ve actually remembered these lines since I first read them as a kid. I don’t know why, beyond it being Baby’s First French Stereotype Joke, but I did. I forgot what book they were from though, so when I reread Blood War and found them again, it was a nice surprise.

Their mockery, according to the guidebooks, is part of the charm of Paris. The city, with it’s great restaurants, fabulous museums, superb monuments, and long history, breeds contempt for the lesser achievements surrounding it. The average Parisian citizen considers himself far superior to anyone from outside the city.

It’s only Paris being singled out here, but still, I want to apologize to any French readers. It isn’t going to get much better for you guys in this book. But hey, at least your capital city isn’t a gang warzone.

That attitude explains, at least in theory, the joy the natives get from telling tales of the Phantom of the Paris Opera.

Not only are Parisians assholes, but they bug you into reading their Phantom of the Opera fanfics.

There’s some cliffnotes about the story (written by Gaston Leroux, demented genius living under the Paris Opera, hideously scarred, etc.), then we learn the titular Phantom is the French equivalent of Australia’s drop bears: a made up monster they tell gullible American tourists about to fuck with them.

Parisians loved to elaborate on the fantasy for gullible tourists, saying how, though he had reportedly been destroyed, the body of Eric, the Phantom, had never been found. And that every year, a few unwary tourists to the Opera House disappeared without a trace.

It was typical malicious Parisian humor. Often, the story was accompanied with a breathless attempt to sell bootleg souvenirs such as an authentic map of the catacombs or a page from the score of the Phantom’s infamous lost opera.

Or those little Mickey Mouse paper dolls that supposedly dance to music but are just attached to a motor by an invisible string. My ma fell for that one.

I don’t know if Parisians in real life actually do this, but it wouldn’t surprise me. I hear the Louvre used to give The Da Vinci Code themed tours. This sounds more fun than that, and less soul-crushing.

I admit that I’ve never read The Phantom of the Opera. I saw the play on an elementary school field trip to Broadway, but I barely remember it. I know the book begins with an intro where Leroux claims it’s a true story, but I figured it’s a true story the way The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a true story. I looked it up anyway, just so I don’t look like an uncultured moron if I dismissed it and was wrong. Turns out, the story was inspired by a real incident at the Paris Opera where a chandelier counterweight (not the chandelier itself) fell down and killed someone. There was a crackpot theory at the time that the accident was actually an assassination attempt. That’s something I didn’t know. Guess I owe Weinberg one for getting me to learn something.

Back to the story. Parisians like to use the Phantom to fuck with tourists, but there are other stories they don’t tell them. Stories that poor shopkeepers tell each other behind closed doors like the superstitious European peasant stereotypes they pretend they aren’t. Stories that were handed down from generation to generation about unexplained disappearances plaguing the Île de la Cité (aka the place where the Notre Dame cathedral is).

Common to every narrative was the same name. A title that when said aloud could cause the most elegant Parisian to blanch in terror.

What, Quasimodo’s some kind of French cryptid too? I know the original book character wasn’t as nice as the Disney version, and he’d be an obvious candidate for a Nosferatu (or a Ravnos if you wanna be a dick) but he was hardly-

Phantomas.

Oh. Alright, yeah, different literary character, but I can go along with it.

Officially, the French Sûreté (cops, pigs, po-po, babylon) dismiss such rumors as the insane ramblings of demented poets living on the West Bank. No mention is made of a file, five inches thick, hidden deep in the files of police headquarters. Contained in it are hundreds of reports, dating back a hundred and fifty years to the time of Chief Inspector Vidocq, detailing the circumstances surrounding hundreds of disappearances in the vicinity of the famous cathedral of Notre Dame.

I bet at least one report blames Quasimodo.

One actual report is a six page article, never made public, by a historical commission about the hundreds of myths and legends surrounding the church, all connected by a ghostly figure seen in the Cathedral at night. I’ll give you one guess at what it actually is.

Though he is called by a dozen different names in the tales, he is always described as incredibly ugly. And a drinker of human blood.

Yep. A goddamn mage.

In turn-of-the-century France, the vampire’s name had gained such notoriety that a series of mystery thrillers featuring an arch-fiend called Fantomas became best-sellers. None of the stories explained the origin of the mastermind. Or why he preyed on the citizens of Paris. They were works of fiction, not fact.

In case old French pulp isn’t your thing, Fantomas, spelled with an F, was a character created in 1911 by Marcel Allain and Pierre Souvestre. He’s a master criminal like Arsène Lupin, except instead of a gentleman thief he was a sadistic murderer and Grade-A pure evil bastard. There’s nothing supernatural about Fantomas. He’s just a regular human who’s really good at murder, framing innocent people for said murder, and getting away with it. Apparently, thanks to the 1960′s film trilogy, he’s usually remembered in French pop culture wearing a blue mask that covers his entire head.

You can see how that guy would inspire a Nosferatu character. Also Destro from G.I. Joe.

But as just explained, in this setting it’s the other way around. And despite being portrayed as what the French call “a homicidal piece of shit”, the “real-life” Phantomas is a big fan of the stories.

The subject of these various novels, reports, and studies found them all vastly amusing. He had enjoyed the Fantomas novels immensely and had even sent the author several anonymous letters suggesting future ideas for plots. To his intense disappointment, none of his ideas had ever been used. Once or twice he had mentally debated visiting the novelist to plead his case. But Phantomas suspected his physical appearance might do his cause more harm than good.

That... is goddamn fucking adorable. He’s just been introduced and I already hope he survives the trilogy and discovers online fanfiction.

The vampire readily acknowledged his ugliness. Standing exactly five feet tall, with skin wrinkled as a prune, eyes like raisins, and a nose the size and shape of a sweet potato, he had caused more than one drunken Parisian to swear off red wine forever. A gaping mouthful of yellow teeth and bulging red eyes propelled his face out of the realm of the bizarre into the domain of the grotesque.

Eh. Someone in this fandom would still bang him.

Wait, eyes that were both “like raisins” and “bulging”? How does that work?

Phantomas is the Nosferatu on the cover of the second book of this trilogy, if you want a visual reference.

See, he’s even still got some hair. He’s not that bad looking.

Phantomas might enjoy the fiction he inspired about a murderer, but he’s not happy about being blamed for real murders of innocent people, regarding it as “cheap slander”. The centuries of recorded disappearances were the results of more natural and obvious crimes.

While he occasionally satisfied his thirst on some poor unfortunate, Phantomas rarely killed innocents if it could be avoided. A quiet, gentle soul, all he wanted was to be left alone in his underground lair, pursuing his research.

Over the years a host of villains had used his presence on the Île de la Cité as an alibi for their murders. Their victims ended, not in his hideaway, but dumped in the Seine. Most had escaped the guillotine. However, Phantomas was less forgiving. And his justice was as sharp and final as any blade.

So other than a few accidents, the only people Phantomas “disappeared” were the criminals responsible for the rest of them.

Phantomas isn’t thinking about that dark business right now. He’s feeling great because he’s on his way to a party. The Prince of Paris, one Francois Villon, holds court once a month, and today’s such a day. Villon’s both a Toreador elder and French, so obviously he holds court in the Louvre.

Dozens of Kindred, along with several hundred of the Prince’s favorite ghouls and kine, attended the festivities. This evening the Prince entertained an important Tremere wizard visiting from Vienna. Phantomas loved such events. Though never invited, he never missed one.

There goes my heart, breaking for poor old Phantomas again...

But this time the snub isn’t a case of a Toreador being a snob to a Nosferatu. Villon just doesn’t know Phantomas exists.

The Prince was under the mistaken impression that he was the oldest, most powerful vampire in the City of Lights. He was neither. Phantomas had come to the Île de la Cité with the invading legions of Julius Caesar in 53 B.C.

I should apologize to the French again. Turns out Phantomas isn’t one of you guys. He’s a nice Italian man.

From here we’re launched into Phantomas’ pre-Phantomas backstory. In life he was Varro Dominus (Strong Ruler or Master), a young noble and soldier who worked under Caesar himself, and was in charge of recording his military campaigns. Ceasar’s legions arrived in the Île de la Cité, then called Lutetia, using it as a stepping stone across the Seine. Unfortunately for Varro, living among the easily conquered native tribesmen, pretending to be a forest god, was a fifth-generation Nosferatu named Urgahalt. The invading legions fascinated Urgahalt, what with their military strength, impressive latin names, and neat centurion helmets, and he Embraced Varro so he could introduce him into Roman society.

There’s an obvious flaw in this plan, since it’s difficult for a guy to introduce you to his culture when you’ve just made him an outcast from that culture, turning him into a shriveled prune monster with a sweet potato nose. And Varro knew it too. The Romans, or at least Varro, knew more about Kindred (or lemures, as they called vampires) than Urgahalt realized, including how to kill them. Pissed that bumping into this guy cost him his life and career, Varro staked him in the heart and turned him into a bonfire.

Convincing the legions to take him back would be a hard sell now, so Varro stayed behind on the island, pretty much never leaving during the millennia as modern Paris rose up around the guy.

He was as much a part of the city as the Eiffel Tower.

Which undersells Phantomas quite a bit since the Eiffel Tower’s only been around since 1889, but you get the point.

Turning into an ugly son of a bitch also turned Phantomas into the ultimate introvert, aside from those parties he likes attending. He stays hidden from everyone, including other vampires. Even other Nosferatu.

More than two hundred Kindred inhabited Paris and its suburbs. The Toreador Clan held control of the central city, but several other bloodlines roamed the streets, including rebel bands of Brujah, Gangrel, and Malkavians. Rumors spoke of a Sabbat pack anxious to spread dissension and revolt, with headquarters in the slums. At least a half-dozen Nosferatu lived in lairs beneath major museums and churches [sic] Yet even among the Kindred Phantomas was a legend, an unseen presence with no basis in reality. He was a phantom to the living and the undead.

Good call. If Parisians are like how the opening paragraphs describe them, I wouldn’t want to talk to them either.

In order to stay hidden, Phantomas lives in a huge underground lair hundreds of feet under Notre Dame, connected by a network of tunnels that stretched across Paris. He’s also a master of Obfuscate, the discipline that allows vampires, especially Nosferatu, to go around unnoticed, commonly by turning invisible. Right now, in order to get into the party, Phantomas is using the Mask of a Thousand Faces, the third-tier Obfuscate power that disguises a vampire as a random nobody human or an unimportant vampire, depending on whose looking at him. Looks like it also lets you pretend to hold an invitation and get away with it.

Shortly after midnight, he strolled past the two Assamites guarding the glass pyramid that served as entrance to the Louvre. They nodded without interest as he displayed an imaginary invitation and walked into the main hall.

That pyramid pissed a lot of older Parisians off when it was first built. Yeah, they complain about everything, but since the artsy-fartsy Toreador control the city, you’d think they would’ve prevented its construction. Unless the pyramid’s a Toreador idea, in which case no wonder everyone hated it.

(Parisians are over hating the pyramid these days, so don’t mention it unless you want them to think you’re in their city for one of those Da Vinci Code tours.)

Phantomas muttered a word of thanks to his Roman gods that Villon considered electronic monitoring devices provincial. His psychic camouflage worked flawlessly with humans and vampires. It was useless against cameras or television monitors.

The Louvre doesn’t have any security cameras? None at all?

In Phantomas’ opinion, the Prince was a pompous dandy who wouldn’t recognize true art if it hit him in the face.

Looks like Phantomas agrees with me about Toreador tastes in art.

Master of the Louvre, the finest art collection in history, Villon ignored the treasures of the past for the ephemeral pleasures of the moment.

Alright, In Villon’s defense, I think grandpa here might have some bias.

His mercurial tastes dominated the Parisian fashion scene. He surrounded himself with the most beautiful models in Paris, blood dolls who sipped on blood and dreamed of immortality. Like too many of the Kindred, Villon had never come to terms with his undeath.

I like Phantomas and all, but it’s not Villon sneaking into one of his parties, so what right does he have being judgmental?

But I think I get what Phantomas is thinking. Villon owns one of the most famous historical art museums in the world, but he only cares about celebrity shit and making beautiful but angry-looking women wear weird shit nobody else will actually wear.

The party was being held in the glass-roofed Cour Marley, but Phantomas was in no hurry to go there. Though he had visited the Louvre many times, he never skipped the opportunity to visit the galleries housing the Greek, Roman, and Egyptian antiquities. The museum housed perhaps the finest such collection in the world and, though Phantomas had the face and body of a monster, he possessed the soul of a poet.

This is the real reason he loves these parties so much, isn’t it. Grandpa just wants an excuse to visit the museum for like the billionth time.

Ten minutes he spent staring at the Venus de Milo.

Art appreciation, or the closest he gets to seeing boobs?

He walks around admiring other things, like “Winged Victory of Samothrace”, “Winged Bull”, and the statue of Queen Nefertiti.

The bust of Agrippa drew him to the Roman section. The famous general, the hero of Actium, had served Octavius, the grandnephew of his mentor, Julius Caesar. Staring at the statue made him feel old. Two thousand years separated him from his heritage.

I feel the same way whenever I meet someone born after Spongebob Squarepants first aired.

If not for a chance encounter in Gaul, his children might have fought against Mark Anthony. Or served in the Senate with Cicero.

Not if you stared at potential mothers the way you stared at the Venus de Milo and Agrippa’s bust.

He finishes his tour and finally heads to the party. If you’ve been paying attention to the plot, you know what’s about to happen.

As he drew closer to the courtyard, he frowned. There was no music. Villon’s parties always featured a loud rock band playing the latest hits. Tonight, the corridors were strangely silent.

Nirvana was supposed to play “About a Girl” but Villon kicked them out when Cobain let his turtles wander around and shit everywhere.

A tall, young man slender [sic], with blond hair and bright blue eyes, stood in front of the door leading to the Cour Marley. Dressed in a white suit with an open-necked white shirt, he nodded in greeting as Phantomas approached. It was almost as if he had been waiting for [sic] there for him.

Weinberg’s editor must’ve quit before getting to this chapter, after reading the part about Flavia’s rock hard leather-penetrating nipples. Also, ‘sup Reuben? What’ve you been doing the past two years?

Reuben doesn’t introduce himself. He just warns Phantomas not to go in. Phantomas is shocked that a human is talking to him at all. Mask of a Thousand Faces is supposed to disguise him as someone so boring not even Kindred are interested starting a conversation with him

“The Final Death waits inside,” continued the stranger, evidently not troubled by Phantomas’ concerns. “If you enter, you may never leave.”

“I am no coward,” stated the vampire simply. “After twenty centuries, I fear very little.”

Let’s see if that lasts longer than a page.

The young man smiled. “I suspected you would say that.” He stepped to the side. “Beware the Red Death, Phantomas.”

“Who are you?” asked Phantomas, startled. “How do you know my name?”

But the stranger had vanished. It was as if he had never been there.

Good old Reuben, scaring an old man, the trolling bastard.

Successfully freaked out, Phantomas opens the courtyard doors. To no one’s surprise, everyone’s dead. Even the regular non-ghoul humans.

The smell of charred and blackened human flesh assaulted his nostrils. A horrified glance around the courtyard revealed a dozen bodies of Villon’s favorites, their beautiful features burned beyond recognition. The fashion runways of Paris would be missing a number of familiar faces tomorrow. Mixed among the dead were the remains of twice as many ghouls. Nowhere was there life.

How he’s able to tell the models and ghouls apart, I don’t know.

Villon was gone. As were all other Kindred. However, dark shadows on the ground indicated to Phantomas that more than one had departed the Louvre permanently.

Can the French art and fashion worlds finally recover from the dark and untalented reign of the Toreador?

As if in answer to Phantomas’ unasked question, a gruesome figure stepped from behind the Marly Horses. Tall and lean, he wore a rotted shroud of funeral cloth held together by strips of moldering bandage [sic]. His face was

-that of a long-dead corpse, chalk-white skin, blah blah blah it’s the Red Death.

Slowly, the monster smiled.

“The meddling record keeper,” said the Red Death. He stretched out a skeletal arm. Phantomas could feel the heat thirty feet away. “Your termination will be a fitting conclusion to the celebration.”

Confronted by this horrifying fire monster who just massacred an entire party of vampires, ghouls, and humans, what does the famous Phantomas do? Something that both proves him a hypocrite and the smartest person in this goddamn book.

He hauls ass out of there.

Hundreds of years hiding beneath the streets of Paris had taught Phantomas an important lesson. When threatened, flee. Immediately. Don’t search for alternative solutions, don’t negotiate, don’t look back. Run as fast as possible until you reach safety. It was a basic survival technique that worked in the past. It served him tonight.

Phantomas ran. He burst through the doors of the Cour Marley, raced down the halls leading to the glass pyramid, and sprinted out into the night air without turning his head once to see if he was followed. Short and misshapen, he ran astonishingly fast.

Phantomas doesn’t stop running until he’s safely hundreds of feet underground in one of his tunnels. He escaped the Red Death.

He had escaped for the moment. But Phantomas felt certain he had not seen the last of the monster.

It had named him the record keeper. Somehow it knew of his great project. And the Red Death obviously disapproved.

We’ll find out more about Phantomas’ hobby the next time we catch up with him. For now, Chapter 6 ends on that mystery.