#trope Thursday

[stevesbipanic]

@steddieangstyaugust Day 22: Missing Scene

"What do you mean you didn't cancel Hellfire?"

Steve has his hands on his hips and normally Eddie would find Steve's bitchy attitude to be hot but not when it's directed at him.

"It's the end of the campaign, Steve!"

"It's the championship game, Eds! Lucas has been practicing with me for weeks just so he can get some good game time!"

"It's not my fault he's gone to the dark side!"

Steve's face hardens, "Eddie sports aren't evil and you know it, you used to like coming to my games."

Eddie blushes, "Yeah because you looked very hot playing, baby. But this is different."

Steve shakes his head, "No it's not and if you don't want to care about Lucas then you can sleep at your place tonight, alone."

"What, Steve!"

"No, Eddie I'm sick of you talking down to Lucas just because he has an interest in sports, it's ok to have other interests!"

"He's choosing Carver over me!"

"He's choosing no one over anything!"

"You're choosing sports over me!"

"Not everything is about going against you!"

"Fuck you!"

Steve is silent as he turns and grabs his shoes from the door. "You can either cancel Hellfire tonight, or I'm taking Sarah to the game so that she stops bothering me at work."

"Do it see if I care."

Steve wouldn't...would he?

Steve's cheeks are flushed as he glares back at Eddie, "Fine." He turns and slams the door on his way out.

Eddie huffs, it's fine couples fight over stupid shit sometimes, he's sure by tomorrow this will all blow over.

[sleepy-steve]

@steddieangstyaugust 01/08 // second chance

wc: 2.7k // rating: M // cw: mild language, references to sexual content // tags: angst with a hopeful ending, miscommunication, eddie makes some questionable (bad) decisions, post-s4 but vecna died, protective robin buckley

divider credits @steddiecameraroll-graphics

“Woah, hey, no. Absolutely not.”

Eddie is being shoved in the chest by someone before he can even register the sharp anger in their voice.

“Wait, wait, Rob, just—”

“No!” Robin smacks him on the chest after successfully pushing him back out the door of Family Video. “You do not get to see him.”

“Robin, please—”

The bell jingles as the door swings shut, and Robin is still pushing him off the curb and into the parking lot. “No, Eddie. You’ve hurt him enough, I’m not letting you do it again.”

There’s a fire in her eyes that lets Eddie know she’s more than serious, and willing to do a lot more than just shove him out the door. He holds his hands up and steps back in surrender, no doubt looking as pathetic as he feels. “Okay, okay, okay, I’m not coming in! I just…”

“Just what?” Robin crosses her arms across her chest, looking at Eddie like he’s the scum of the earth. Maybe he is. He feels like it.

Eddie sighs and anxiously pulls at his hair. His stomach rolls with nerves. “I just wanna talk to him.”

Robin scoffs and looks off to the side, understandably skeptical of his intentions.

“I know! I know, I fucked up!”

“You—” Robin cuts herself off, her sharp gaze returning to him. He flinches at the anger in it. “Do you? Do you actually know?”

“I…” Eddie had only assumed, by the way his last conversation with Steve had ended, the way all his calls had been avoided, minus the one where Robin had answered and swiftly delivered the message to never contact her best friend ever again. He had only assumed it was bad bad. “I… didn’t know.” He finishes weakly.

“And the fact that he told you—”

“I was scared!” Eddie cuts her off. “Can you blame me?”

“Yeah, I can, actually.” Robin’s tone is harsh. Eddie knows he deserves it. “After everything you’ve been through with him, after everything you know, and to just run off like that?”

Her words sting, and Eddie can’t help but hang his head in shame. “I know, Robin. But I was wrong!”

Robin scoffs again, eyes narrowed. “And it only took you, what, a week to figure that out?”

“No! No. I regretted it as soon as I left, but I…” Eddie exhales heavily. “I still—I was still scared.” The venom in Robin’s expression doesn’t change. “Please, Rob, I wanna be with him. He’s gotta give me another chance.”

“Okay, let’s get a couple of things straight.” Robin raises a finger. “One, Steve doesn’t have to do anything.” She raises another. “Two, if, and that’s a big if, he decides to give you another chance, you better be for real, Munson. I will kill you myself if you hurt him again.”

“I am! Rob, I swear, I wouldn’t’ve come back if I wasn’t. I…” Eddie hesitates for a second. Pulls on his hair again. His heart pounds wildly in his chest. “I love him, Robin.”

Robin assesses him, eyes narrowed, trying to see if he’s serious. Eddie tries to hold her gaze, hoping she sees his sincerity. Whether she sees that, or the bags under his eyes from not having slept at all the past week, or the fact that he’s begging with everything he has in him, she seems to accept it.

“Fine. But you will not do this during work. At least let him finish his shift in peace before you come and blow everything up.” Robin turns swiftly and starts walking back to the shop, not waiting to hear anything more from him.

Eddie fumbles for his cigarettes and lighter, fingers trembling as he walks back to his van. That could've gone better, he thinks. Could've gone worse too. Taking a couple deep drags, smoke filtering out with the shudder of his breath, he wills his heart to settle down. He had time to kill now. If he had to wait until the end of Steve’s shift, he would wait.

“I love you, Eddie.”

Steve’s soft voice came from above where Eddie was resting on Steve’s chest. It made him freeze, hand idly playing with Steve’s chest hair stilled. It sounded like Steve said… but no. That couldn’t be right. This… thing, this friendship, Eddie guessed he would call it, that he and Steve had been doing since all the end-of-the-world stuff, had definitely turned into something different. Yes, Eddie had very recently had Steve’s cock in his mouth. But they were still just friends, right?

The first couple of months were average enough, as far as trauma bonding friendships went. Just being there for each other, working through nightmares and panic attacks and pain flare ups. But as they healed and moved on, Eddie found himself and Steve hanging out just for the sake of hanging out.

And then there was the flirting. Eddie started it, he knows he did. A little call back to the “big boy” comment from the RV. He’d watched as Steve’s cheeks flushed a faint pink at the pet name, and found himself wanting to see it more and more. To his surprise, Steve started flirting back, catching Eddie off guard and having him hide behind his hair, cheeky smile peeking through the curls. It just seemed to be a… thing they did. It was normal to flirt with your friends.

It culminated in a night where, after sharing a joint and drinking some beers, Steve leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Eddie’s lips. Sweet, slow, romantic. Eddie reciprocated with heat and desire. Steve had laughed into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist and pulling him into his lap. They ended the night asleep in Steve’s bed, wrapped up in each other, exhausted after the bliss of touching and tasting each other. Eddie left the morning after with a shy wave from Steve. It happened again and again, the taste of Steve’s skin, the warmth of his hands on Eddie’s waist, the feeling of his chest hair between Eddie’s fingers, finding pleasure in each other’s touch, all becoming familiar.

Eddie thought he knew what this was. He thought they were just messing around, just having fun. The idea of being with Steve, in any capacity beyond this, was so laughable to Eddie, he refused to even think about it. There were moments where Eddie almost thought Steve liked him as more than a friend, but he quickly shoved them down. Pushed them deep into the recesses of his mind where he wouldn’t have to think about it. He knew Steve was just an affectionate guy. And it would never happen, so why even think about it? Eddie would just enjoy what they had. It was enough. He told himself over and over. It was enough.

But then Steve said…

“Wh-what?” Eddie managed to stutter, still frozen in shock.

Steve’s hand trailed down Eddie’s spine. “I know that it’s early, and you don’t—you don’t have to say it back. But I don’t wanna waste time. Almost lost you once. I wanna be with you, Eddie. I love you.”

Eddie’s mind sluggishly takes in what he’s hearing. When it finally catches up, he sits up so swiftly, Steve jerks back on reflex. Eddie sees the soft concern in Steve’s eyes, and suddenly his heart is pounding in his ears and he feels like he can’t breathe. Steve reaches out, back of his hand about to caress Eddie’s jaw.

“No! No, no, no, no, no.” Eddie jumps up, very aware of his own nudity.

“Woah, woah, hey,” Steve sits up, hands out like he’s placating a wild animal. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not!” Eddie can feel himself panicking, but can’t seem to stop it. “You just said you love me?” He can’t help the incredulity in his tone, the very idea so insane to him.

Steve’s confusion seeps into his voice. “I… I do?”

“No, you don’t,” Eddie argues instantly.

“What are you…? Eddie, what is this?” Steve’s eyes are widened with hurt, head shaking slightly. Eddie can see that he wants to reach out, but is holding back.

Frantically looking for his clothes, Eddie’s hands shake. “You—you’re just confused.” He finds his pants and yanks them on, not looking at Steve. “You don’t love me, you’re just… this is just…” Eddie trails off, looking for his shirt.

“Eddie, Eddie, look at me,” Steve pleads, fear starting to lace into the concern. “This is real, I do love you.”

Eddie refuses to look at him as he quickly pulls on his shirt, searching for his boots. “No, no, you don’t. I can’t Steve, I can’t…”

“Can’t what?” Steve finally stands up, trying to catch his eye.

Exhaling heavily, Eddie squeezes his eyes shut, before looking up at Steve and seeing the pain in his. “I can’t let myself believe that.”

Steve takes a step back, looking as though Eddie had pushed him. He sees the shutdown happen, the way Steve is suddenly closed off, pulling away, grief barely concealed as he averts his gaze. Unable to stand the expression on Steve’s face anymore, Eddie grabs his boots and runs out the door. He keeps running until he gets to his van, throwing himself inside and slamming on the accelerator, not daring to look back.

He doesn’t ease up until he’s halfway back to the trailer park and feeling like his chest might explode with the quick, panicked breaths he’s taking. Eddie pulls the van off to the side of the road and hits the brakes, body jolting with the force of the stop. The conversation with Steve replays in his mind on a loop. He forces himself to take a deep breath but the look on Steve’s face in his mind’s eye makes him choke on it. Eddie finally calms down enough to stare blankly through the windshield, and he asks himself what the hell he just did.

Sitting in the driver’s seat of his van, Eddie’s hands tap on the steering wheel, jittery with anxiety. The clouds grow dark overhead. Steve’s shift ends in a couple of hours, but Eddie didn’t want to leave in case he left early. He couldn’t help but feel guilty about cornering Steve at work, but he wouldn’t take his calls, and he was sure that if Steve didn’t intend to hear him out, Buckley would have come to tell him by now.

With half an hour left of Steve’s shift, Eddie opens the door to his van and swings his legs out, his last cigarette in hand. Keeping his eyes trained on the door, he waits for the last few customers to file out. He sees Buckley flip the door sign to ‘Closed’, catch his eye, roll hers, and disappear back into the store. Eddie’s heart was in his throat, waiting to see if Steve would appear, or if Buckley would come out to tell him to piss off for good.

After several agonising minutes, the door swings open slowly and Steve steps out. Eddie had never seen him look so… wary. So closed off. Not since they’d been friends. Steve catches his gaze, and Eddie watches the hurt flash briefly in his eyes before being quickly hidden. Buried deep down somewhere Eddie wouldn’t be able to see it. An impassive mask taking its place.

“Hey…” Eddie starts softly. “Can we talk?”

Steve only raises his brows and gestures vaguely between them. Eddie figures it’s as much approval as he was going to get. He tosses the butt of his cigarette to the ground, stepping on it as he hops down from the van seat, shutting the door behind him. He takes a few slow steps towards Steve, who still only regards him with caution. Eddie rubs his hands down his jeans, trying to still the trembling. Tries to swallow around the lump in his throat. Finally, he decides to sit on the curb a few steps away from Steve. He looks out and takes in the grey sky. Weirdly fitting. After a few moments, Steve sighs and sits down, leaving a bit of space between them.

Eddie, hunched over his knees, turns his head to look over at him. Steve looks straight ahead, but Eddie could see the darkness under his eyes, the overall flatness of his expression. It made Eddie ache to realise he caused it. He couldn’t decide if it was better or worse that Steve wouldn’t look at him.

“I’m… so sorry, Steve.”

Steve scoffs, still not looking at him. Still unreadable.

“I mean it, Steve, really.” Eddie continues to stare, hoping (and scared) that Steve might turn his head. “I just—I panicked. I didn’t think you’d ever—”

“I get it,” Steve cuts him off sharply. “You thought we were just messing around. It’s fine. I don’t, y’know, need to hear your reasoning. For why you don’t feel the same way.”

“No! That’s not it at all.” Eddie tries to keep his voice calm, but the wobble gives him away. “I mean, yeah, I did think we were just messing around but I… I thought the idea of you wanting more than that was, y’know… crazy.” His hands continue to shake as he gestures vaguely.

Steve finally turns to him, only to give him a look that was equal parts hurt, confused, and honestly quite harsh. “What? Because King Steve could never be capable of love?”

“No, Steve, of course you’re capable of love, I’ve seen it, I’ve felt it.” It takes everything in Eddie not to reach out and take Steve’s hands in his. “I just. I didn’t think you’d ever love me.”

The silence sits heavy between them for several long moments.

Steve closes his eyes, his tone is measured. “I told you I loved you—”

“I know, and I didn’t believe you.”

“And you ran away.” Steve continues as though Eddie hasn’t spoken, looking back to him. “You told me I was confused.” The hurt returns with full force in Steve’s eyes, the slight green in them shining with it. “You said you couldn’t let yourself believe it. That I could love you.”

“I’m sorry, Steve.” Eddie’s voice cracks. “I’m so, so sorry. For all of it. I hurt you, and I wish I could take it all back. I was just… scared. Terrified. To believe it. I thought I was protecting myself. That if I let myself believe you, it would hurt too much when the rug was pulled out from under me. But I was wrong. So wrong. Nothing hurts more than knowing I hurt you, and I know you wouldn’t say it if you didn’t mean it, and…”

Steve just waits, tears shining in his eyes but not spilling over. It breaks Eddie’s heart all over again to see how much pain he’s caused. He meets Steve’s gaze with as much bravery as he can muster.

“And… I love you, Steve. I do, I love you so much. I don’t wanna be without you.”

Steve closes his eyes at Eddie’s words, turning away from him, brow furrowed. Tears trail down his cheek and settle at his jawline. “I don’t… think I can trust you.” Steve’s words are slow and thick. Measured.

Eddie feels the knife twist in his heart. He takes a deep, shuddering breath before he continues. “I… I get it. I do. But I’m asking—begging you to give me another chance. Please, Steve. I’ll spend every single day proving it to you, until you can trust me again.”

Steve peeks over at him, wary. “Every single day?”

“For the rest of my life, if that’s what it takes,” Eddie promises. “I swear it. I love you, Steve.”

Eddie holds his breath, throat tight, and blinks away his own tears. Expression unreadable, Steve looks at him for a long moment, carefully considering Eddie’s words. Tentatively, Eddie reaches out towards Steve’s hand, leaving enough distance for him to decide. Steve slowly takes his hand and grips it tightly. He lets their joined hands hang between them, before finally whispering, “Okay.”

[steddieangstyaugust]

Event Schedule!

Music Monday 🎵

Please Please Please, Let Me Get What I Want – The Smiths

Terrible Things – Mayday Parade

Careless Whisper – George Micheal

The Night We Met – Lord Huron

Teary Tuesday 🥺

"Who did this?"

"Please, stay?"

"I didn't know where else to go."

"I thought we agreed it was over."

Wordy Wednesday ⌨️

Moonlight

Lake

Please

Tomorrow

Trope Thursday 🎭

Second Chance

Miscommunication

Childhood

Missing Scene

Future

Freaky Friday 🦇

Ghosts

Upside Down

Halloween

Skull Rock

Vampire

Speaking Saturday 🗣️

"The sunset looks lovely, don't you think?"

“Where were you?”

"Keep breathing, please."

"Go, see if I care."

"I'm not going to beg you to love me."

Sobbing Sunday 😭

Angst with a Happy Ending

Temporary Character Death

Right Person, Wrong Time

Soulmates

Can't believe we're less than a month until the beginning of this event! This is the first event I've ever run and I'm so excited!! Stay tuned for the event rules post for extra details! In the meantime, I hope the prompts get those writing worms flowing!

Rules & FAQ

Ao3 Collection

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

@steddieangstyaugust Day 1 - Trope Thursday: Second Chance

similarly to what i did for steddieweek last month, i’m challenging myself to keep all these at either 127 or 1,270 words each (each letter in STEDDIEANGST added together = 127 x 10 = 1,270!)!

“Eddie, wait! Gimme another chance!”

“Your lack of response was confirmation enough, Harrington.”

“Harring– Eddie, please, hold on!” Steve’s hand finds purchase around Eddie’s bicep but it’s shaken off immediately. Thankfully though, the touch seems to stop Eddie in his tracks.

“Eddie– Eds, will you please look at me?” Steve says to the back of his head. 

Eddie’s shoulders go slack, defeated.

“What, Steve?”

“Eddie,” Steve sighs, walking the few steps around to Eddie’s front, ducking his head to catch his eye. His face is still a bright shade of red.

“Baby,” Eddie’s gaze flashes up in surprise at the term, startling further at the gentle touch under his chin. “Kiss me?”

Eddie studies him for a moment, but this time Steve meets him in the middle.

see the collection on AO3!

[alwaysurvalentine]

Chicago Calls

Written for Day 29 of @steddieangstyaugust - prompt: Future - wc: 1.3k - cw: nothing!

enjoy! 💛

“What do you think the future holds?” 

It’s quiet at the quarry, stars glittering in the dark sky. 

“Don’t you know? I’m gonna be a big rock star!” Eddie splays his hands out towards the sky with a grin. Like always, he’s got a glow about him. He can’t help but light up a room just by showing up. Steve would point this out but he’s worried Eddie would read how endeared he is to the older boy. Instead he just basks in Eddie’s light while he can. 

He wasn’t sure what a friendship with Eddie would look like when the other boy woke up, but it didn’t stop him from visiting every day he could. If Eddie was still asleep or away at physical therapy, he’d keep Wayne company in Eddie’s tiny room talking about the latest game or on a few occasions wild stories from when Eddie was a little boy. From what he’s learned, Eddie’s always been full of energy; full of life. Nothing is going to hold him back from his dream. 

Steve can see it clearly, Eddie on a stage playing his heart out and an adoring crowd screaming his lyrics back to him. It’s a future he wishes he could be a part of. But he’s just a friend, so he’ll have to settle for cheering Eddie on through the phone line – which he’ll do as long as the metalhead lets him. 

Eddie rolls over so he’s facing Steve, brown eyes sparkling. 

“What about you? What’s the future hold for Steve Harrington?” The smile on his face softens and Steve just wants to reach over and tuck that one curl behind Eddie’s ear to see it better.

“No idea. Probably just stay around town. Visit you and Robin every so often.”

Eddie’s smile fades and he turns serious, eyes searching Steve’s face instead of forming an answer.

“Cause you know, someone’s gotta keep the brats alive. Teach them how to drive. Make sure they don’t uncover some other government secrets. Make sure-”

“What do you want to do?” 

“Hm?”

“Like, if you didn’t have to worry about anyone else, and you could just do whatever you wanted, what would you do?” 

I’d go with you and Robin to Chicago. Steve wants to say it, but he can’t – the words feel stuck in his throat and he swallows. The crickets don’t cover the noise and he watches as Eddie’s eyes dart to his throat and back up again.

“Stevie, I know you’ve got something. Would it work better if I wasn’t looking at you? Here.” And then he closes his eyes. One corner of Eddie’s mouth is ticked up, like he’s amused but trying to stay serious instead. It’s the same look he gets on his face when the kids argue over their next move in DnD. 

Steve hates that Eddie’s right and the pressure is lighter without Eddie looking at him, even if their bodies are curled in towards each other like closed parenthesis. He traces the lines of Eddie’s face before answering. 

“If I didn’t have to worry about anything?” A small nod from Eddie. “I’d follow you and Robin to Chicago. Get a tiny little apartment where we’re all cramped on top of each other because it’s all we can afford but we don’t care because it’s like one long sleepover. I’d get some job in town that lets me have the weekends off so that I can come see you play in some bar that likes loud music.” Eddie huffs a laugh at this but keeps his eyes closed. “I’d play the best wingman to Robin to make sure she gets a good girl to call her own.” Steve stops here and sighs, closing his own eyes and rolling onto his back again. 

“Why don’t you?” Eddie whispers the words, if they weren’t so close Steve would’ve missed it, and he can feel Eddie’s eyes on him again.

“I don’t wanna hold you or Robin back.” It’s the truth. And a truth he’s been trying to avoid all summer. He knows people become his friend because of proximity. Hawkins is a small town, and even though he and Robin are Platonic Soulmates, she still only became his friend because they worked and got tortured together. Eddie would never have given him a chance to be his friend if it hadn’t been for the Upside Down.

Now there’s two weeks before Robin and Eddie head off to Chicago and he’s tired of avoiding the thought that they’re leaving him behind. The blanket shifts slightly from under him and he opens his eyes to Eddie practically leaning over him, eyebrows furrowed. 

“As if you’d ever hold us back. You’re being too hard on yourself. We’d do better if you were with us. I’d do better if you came with us.”

“Eddie-”

“No, I mean it! It’d be just like you said, a sleepover every day. And if Robin got too sick of us we could stay out late and fail at being quiet when we got back to the apartment. You’d come to all my shows and make sure my crazy fans don’t kidnap me. And Robin and I would come bother you at work whenever we could. Of course your boss would love you so they wouldn’t even care about the two of us hanging out all the time.” Eddie sounds excited at this imaginary life he’s describing and Steve cracks his eyes open. The other boy is sitting up now, legs crossed so he can wave his arms around comfortably. He’s focused on the quarry in front of them and his hair blows with the wind. Steve doesn’t know if he’s ever looked more beautiful. 

“So, what do you think?” Eddie trails off, turning over his shoulder with his head tilted. 

Steve sits up and scoots down the blanket a little closer to Eddie again. Another gust of wind and he’s hit with the smokiness that always follows Eddie – it’s become one of his favorite things these past few months. 

“I think it sounds like a dream.”

As soon as he says the words, he wishes he could take them back. Eddie wilts like a sad flower, shoulders hunched in and smile gone. They’re both quiet for a minute, crickets singing their song while the trees dance in the wind. Eddie starts mumbling quietly, not loud enough to be heard, and that’s okay, Steve’s trying to focus on anything other than how this might be one of the last times the two of them hang out at the quarry before Eddie leaves. 

When Eddie talks again, he’s loud enough for it to echo. “Come with us!” He doesn’t give Steve a chance to answer before he continues, “No, listen. We leave in two weeks, come with us. That’s plenty of time for you to tell Keith you’re quitting, pack up your stuff, and then you just drive out with us when we leave town in two weeks. It’ll be a tight squeeze like you said, but we won’t care. You and Buckley share a bed every movie night anyway. Finding a job won’t be too hard once we’re in the city, and even if it takes a little bit I know you squirreled away your government money so you’ll be fine. If you’re worried about how you’ll fit in the apartment, you’ll make sure me and Birdie stay alive. Who else is going to make sure we don’t eat take out every night? So, you’ll come with us, right?”

“Are you sure?” Steve’s been doing better with his self-worth, he really has. That doesn’t mean he’s prepared for such a display of someone wanting him around though. It fills him with warmth that makes him want to just reach out and hug Eddie close. 

“Never been more sure.”

A smile stretches across his face and Steve honest to god, giggles at the idea. 

“I’d love to.”

[n33dlew0rk]

Memento Mori

rated M | 538 words | cw: vaguely explicit anal sex being performed, light dom-sub tones but that's not the point, character study -ish, exes to lovers but not really, make-up sex but not really, angst, boundaries what boundaries, hurt/no comfort

for @steddieangstyaugust prompt 'second chance' (day 1)

Second chances are a weird thing, right?

Like, the entire concept of being able to blank slate a whole event, relationship, trauma-sprinkled experience, whatever. Fucking bonkers.

Because who the fuck can really, like really, do that? I mean, how fucking many glass shards coated feelings do you have to swallow raw even to begin to try and trust someone as if nothing ever happened. As if it’s not your very own rug, the one you’re sweeping all the hurt under.

But, you see, the craziest part about second chances, the one no one tells you about when recounting grand tales of redemption and forgiveness, is that the yearning is also very much real. Just as much as the pain, if not more. 

The unsettling want, the unending what-ifs, the daydreaming scenarios bleeding into real life, infecting any piss poor try at healing.

And Eddie yearned, oh Eddie wanted. 

That’s exactly why his brain isn’t particularly focused on this second-guessing the second chance gig he’s got going on in the back of his head. 

Because right now there’s nothing more real than the sweaty skin under his hands. Reality, the entirety of it, chose one single form to express itself and it was in the soft whining coming from the body underneath him, muffled by a pillow. 

So Eddie grabs a fistful of Steve’s hair in his hand, tugging on it, pulling his head until he can see his face reflected in the mirror in front of the bed. So Eddie slows down his thrusts, watching closely as Steve’s face contorts and lets that same shameful desire burning inside himself escape his mouth. 

Because Eddie needs to see it, needs to know it’s not a fucking hallucination, not his demise alone to be slipping into habit, aching heart and traitorous horniness muscle memory acting rebellious and climbing over the precarious walls of self-preservation. 

And, like, you know how these things go, the split-second identity crisis preceding the dreaded post-nut clarity. So Eddie knows, he fucking knows, as he’s filling Steve up - Steve the all-encompassing leyline, Steve the revelation in the mundanity of sun-filled afternoon smokes, Steve the life lived out in the open, Steve the forever only makes sense if it’s with you, Steve the space-needing-I-still-feel-like-I-need-to-know-myself-better, Steve the heartbreaker, Steve the brave, the strong, the I don’t know if I can do this, Steve the I thought I was stronger - that he can either collapse on him and make a nest underneath his ribs, a chosen gilded cage of acceptance for him to stroke and soothe Steve’s repentance, or he can put the needle back on the turntable and resume the bitter agonising final track of this shitty concept album of second chances.

Eddie moves quickly then because there are only so many closing notes Lost Trust can afford him before Lost Love starts her compelling speech about things working out this time, about finally being home, about time healing every wound that bled on the damned carpet, passing through it like it’s not feeding the very ghosts of pains not-so-past hiding under it.  

As he leaves, he ties the condom and leaves it on the floor, near Steve’s discarded clothes.

A memento mori for the fucking second chances.

[i-am-trans-gwender]

I don't know what this type of character is called but I like it. Any other examples?

[mobius-m-mobius]

#choose your remix 😅

[aka-indulgence]

📓(for the thought about but never written asks please!)

I have a lot of ideas of “Outcode steals you from Sans”, and rn one of them is an angsty one. You have an unrequited crush on Sans, and the classic case of “Sans is having Emotional Constipation”, pushing you away and unintentionally hurting you, and during an emotional vulnerable moment for you, Nightmare appears, saying he can take the pain away and give you something better…

And it’s a villain “I’m stealing her to be my bride” and you get in over your head and given Nightmare more than you knew you were willing to while Sans goes “aw fuck my gf was stolen!!!!”

… The issue is I wouldn’t know how to end it because I don’t want Sans or Nightmare to be sad by the end because I don’t think they’d be willing to share after the whole Debacle kdfjglhtr

[whumpdoyoumean]

It's This or That Thursday, the day where I pit two tropes against each other and you vote for your favorite! Feel free to discuss in the comments/tags/reblogs. Have a favorite gif or fic which illustrates your point? Share that, too!

[stevesbipanic]

@steddieangstyaugust Day 15: Childhood

"Hi!"

A voice squeaks beside Eddie who's spent the last hour constructing the best sandcastle ever. He glances to the side and sees another boy, windswept brown hair and sunburnt cheeks.

"Hello?"

"Do you want to play mermaids with me?" The small boy asked, his smile gummy with lost teeth.

"No, I'm building a sandcastle for my knights," Eddie replies pointing to the collection of sticks he'd stuck in the ground.

"Oh," the boy looked sad and started to turn away.

"But we could use a mermaid to protect us, do you have any powers?"

The boy's eyes lit up again, "Yes! I can control water cause my tail is bright blue and I can also transform so I can sometimes have legs." Eddie giggled at the boy's ramblings.

"Well welcome..."

"Steve!"

"Welcome Stevie to Castle Eddie."

The boy's played by the crashing waves until sundown. "Will you be here tomorrow?" Steve asked. Eddie shook his head, "Dad says we gotta keep moving tomorrow."

"Here, have this then so you won't forget me." Steve pulls a thread out from his shirt, a dark red guitar pick was attached. "My uncle gave it to me but I don't really like playing guitar, I like piano better."

"Dude this is so cool, thank you, I'll never forget you, Stevie."

Eddie looked so pale in the hospital bed, a steady beep from the monitor beside him. Steve fiddled with the guitar pick on his neck, gently holding his hand.

"Come back to me, Eds, it took me so long to find you don't leave me alone again." Steve took a shaky breath, "I want to see you play guitar, and take you to the beach again, we can build sandcastles and swim like mermaids just please don't leave me."

The fingers in his hand twitched.

"I want my tail to be red and black."

[sleepy-steve]

@steddieangstyaugust 08/08 // miscommunication 

wc: 2k // rating: M // cw: smoking, language, character death // tags: s4 missing scene, canon compliant, miscommunication, first kiss

divider credits @firefly-graphics

“Hey, Harrington, did we have any more nails? Think I can fit a few more on this bad boy.” Eddie swings his makeshift-trash-can-lid-shield around in an arc, whooshing under his breath. He feels a bit silly, but it’s what he does. Clowns around for the benefit of others.

Steve snorts, before looking around. “Uh, yeah, I think so.” He shifts a crate of bottles over. “Somewhere around here…” Finally spotting the box of nails, he underhand tosses it over Robin’s head.

Eddie catches it easily, earning a raised brow from Steve, and points the box back to him with a nod. As Steve turns back to Robin, Eddie lets out a low whistle. Waiting for him to turn back, Eddie tilts his head, gesturing to the other side of the RV in a not-so-subtle follow me way. Frowning, Steve glances at Robin, who gives him an equally quizzical look in return, then moves toward him, following around the front of the vehicle.

“You good, man?” Steve asks as Eddie leans up against the side of the RV, dropping the shield and the nails at his side.

Eddie hums in the affirmative as he pats at his pockets, locating a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He pops one between his lips before holding the box out in offering. Steve hesitates for only a second before taking one. Clicking on the lighter, Eddie waves him in. Steve leans closer, letting the end of his cigarette touch Eddie’s, both of them lit under the flame. Neither of them moves back immediately, caught in a smoky haze where their eyes are locked onto each other. 

This wasn’t the first time Eddie had caught Steve staring at him, hazel eyes travelling from his lips back up to his eyes. It happened the day prior, in the Upside Down, where Eddie had been running his mouth, talking endlessly about being not-a-hero and unambiguous signs of true love, all but shoving Steve in the direction of Nancy Wheeler. Despite this, Eddie got the sense that Steve wasn’t listening to a word he said. Barely responding, eyes locked on Eddie instead, who wanted to ask—because, hey, what’s that about?—but they were cut off by the freak earthquake.

Then earlier, when Eddie jumped into the driver’s seat of the RV to start hotwiring, Steve was right behind him. Like he couldn’t help himself. Like he was being magnetically pulled into Eddie’s presence. Like they’d constantly found themselves since the boathouse—in each other’s bubbles. Steve never once pulled away from the invasion of his personal space. Not when Eddie got right up in his face again, not when Eddie had blatantly flirted with him—don’t ya, big boy?—and not now, when their faces had no reason to be this close together.

It’s Steve who pulls back, who finally breaks the spell between them, taking a shaky inhale of his cigarette. “Robin’s worried… thinks maybe we might not make it out this time.”

“Shit…” Eddie says with a puff of smoke. “But, y’know. Who else is gonna do it?”

“That’s what she said too.” Steve taps the ash off to the side, before taking another drag. “D’you ever feel like… I dunno, like you might be missing something that’s right in front of you? Something that everyone else sees, but you just… don’t?”

Eddie snorts. “Only every day, Harrington.”

“I think maybe…” Steve hesitates. “Maybe I am. Missing something.”

“And what is it,” Eddie says, tapping his ash. “That you think you’re missing?”

Eddie turns his head when Steve doesn’t respond, finding those hazel eyes boring into him. He feels it again, that magnetic pull, that electricity that seems to fire up between them any time they’re near each other. It wasn’t like Eddie to second guess something like this, to wonder if he might be wrong. By all accounts, he knew when someone was attracted to him. But for some reason, when it came to Steve, he couldn’t help but question it. That said, Eddie felt… something. It was there, palpable and pulsing between them.

“Enjoying the view?” Eddie’s voice drips with sarcasm as he gestures down at himself, knowing he looks a mess.

Steve jolts, a light pink dusting his cheeks as he looks away. “I don’t know. What I’m missing,” he quickly clarifies. “That’s kinda the problem, right?”

Eddie hums as he takes another drag of his cigarette. “Anything I can help with?”

Looking at him like the answer is right on his lips, Steve falters. “You—you don’t—no, I couldn’t—”

“Steve,” Eddie cuts him off softly. “It’s okay.”

What exactly is okay, Eddie isn’t actually sure. But if he’s right—and god, he hopes he is—then he’s willing to take the chance. And fuck, if he can’t find a little bravery right before jumping back into hell, then when will he ever? Eddie flicks the butt of his cigarette to the ground, turning to Steve fully, stepping right up in his space again. Steve’s eyes widen, and Eddie spots the green flecks in them, but he doesn’t step back. Watching as Steve’s gaze jumps from his eyes, down to his lips, and back up again, Eddie feels a small smile pull at the corners of his lips. From the edge of his vision, he notices Steve drop the remainder of his cigarette.

Eddie brings a hand up to cup Steve’s jaw, leaning in closer, watching closely for any sign that he’s wrong, that he should stop. He feels Steve’s breath on his lips, and watches as his eyes become hooded. Eddie closes the distance. Steve’s lips are a little dry, but he moves softly, tentatively, gently. It’s almost… romantic. Feeling a hand come up to the side of his neck, then into the back of his curls, Eddie presses a little harder, just slightly parting his lips. He feels Steve’s tongue swipe at his lower lip, and can’t hold back any longer. 

Eddie surges forward, mouth opening and tasting Steve fully. It’s sloppy and frantic, teeth knocking and lips bruising, a sense of urgency suddenly taking over their movements. The hand that was cupping Steve’s jaw is now gripping, holding him in place, the other placed against the wall of the RV, pinning him there. Steve is twisting Eddie’s hair between his fingers, other hand pulling at his waist, bringing their bodies flush against each other. Their tongues slide together and Eddie thinks he could get high on this feeling. Whatever spark was between them has grown into a wildfire, and Eddie wants to chase it and burn up in it. The desperation they hold each other with, the desire that they kiss with, the sheer need that runs through both of them, it consumes him.

“Steve…” Eddie groans against his lips.

Steve lets out a muffled whimper. “Eddie…”

Eddie moans low in return. He wants to get closer, to feel more, to live in this feeling until his dying breath.

“Eddie,” Steve pants. “Eddie—stop. Stop-stop-stop.”

Once the words register in his mind, Eddie jumps back like he’d been electrocuted. “I’m—I’m sorry,” he breathes, chest heaving, heart racing.

“No, no, it’s—” Steve runs a hand through his hair. “It’s okay, it’s fine, I just…” He exhales heavily, lips shining with spit. “I just, I’m not—I don’t…”

Eddie’s heart drops as words seem to fail Steve. Oh… Oh, he was wrong. He doesn’t need to hear the rest of what Steve was trying to say, doesn’t need to hear I’m not into men, I don’t like you that way, I’m not like you, I don’t want you, or any other sentence that’ll tear his heart out. Taking another step back, Eddie tries to look anywhere but Steve’s face, mentally kicking himself for having read the situation so badly.

“It—I’m sorry, I just thought—” Eddie stumbles his way through his words as he backs away. “It’s okay though, uh, just. We can—we can act like it never happened.”

“What? Eddie, no, it’s not—” Steve sounds like the words are getting stuck in his throat, eyes wide and glistening. He looks lost.

“It’s alright, Steve,” Eddie cuts him off. “I don’t, like, blame you for, y’know, trying something at the end of the world.” Fumbling to grab his shield from the ground, Eddie creates more distance between them. “It’s fine. Like I said, didn’t even happen. Take it to my grave.”

Reaching out, Steve grabs for his wrist. “Eddie, please, wait, just—”

“Don’t worry,” Eddie cuts him off again, yanking his hand out of Steve’s, unable to stand the feeling of the heat between them any longer. “I won’t tell anyone. Promise.” With one final glance at Steve’s hurt expression, Eddie does what he does best, and runs.

He wants to go back. He wants to ask. He wants to know what Steve was going to say. But Nancy approaches soon after and tells them they need to get moving. Eddie tries not to watch as Steve and Robin huddle together, whispering to each other. Tries not to think about what they’re saying. Tries not to imagine that it’s something good. Maybe… there was a tiny chance it could have been… But no, it hurt enough to think that Steve didn’t want him. Eddie didn’t want to have to hear the words aloud. Ultimately, Eddie picked protecting himself over everything else, that’s how he survived this long. Did that make him a coward in his own opinion? Yes. But it’s what he did. 

Still. Eddie wondered. Maybe he reacted too quickly. Got scared too easily. Wouldn’t be the first time for him. Wouldn’t be the first time he ran his mouth and got himself into more trouble than if he’d just kept quiet. Wouldn’t be the first time he jumped to conclusions. Wouldn’t be the first time he bolted to avoid a hard conversation. Maybe he should have stayed. Maybe Steve was going to say something else. Maybe Steve wasn’t going to shatter his already fragile heart. Maybe, if Eddie hasn’t completely fucked this up, there’s a way through this for them. Him and Steve. Maybe, just maybe, he can fix it.

They don’t get a chance to talk about it. Eddie catches him more than once, staring at him with those eyes, filled with an unreadable expression—Hurt? Guilt? Longing?—before they both quickly look away again. They have to focus on the plan, have to put on the front for everyone else, for the kids. This can wait until after.

Once they’re back in the Upside Down, plans in motion, they share their parting words. Steve tells them not to be heroes, big-brother mask perfectly in place for Dustin’s benefit. Eddie tries to match it, going for a joke—that they’re not heroes—but a cold sick feeling travels down his chest as he says it. Steve already knows Eddie isn’t a hero. He can’t just leave it like this, so he stops Steve again. The mask has slipped now, and Steve looks close to tears.

“Make him pay,” Eddie says, finally looking Steve right in the eyes, begging him to hear the meaning behind his words. Make him pay. End all of this. Come back to me. We can try again. Maybe we have something. All the things he wishes he could say but doesn’t have the courage to.

Steve nods like he understands, and Eddie hopes to god he does. Hopes that he’ll give Eddie another shot, an opportunity to fix whatever was between them, a chance to show that he’s not the coward he claimed to be.

They don’t get to find out.

Because Eddie needs to save Dustin. Because Eddie runs out to distract the bats. Because Eddie regrets a lot of decisions he’s made—running away from Chrissy, leaving her for Wayne to find; not getting a chance to say goodbye, to tell his uncle how much he loved him; running away from Steve—but not this one. 

Because Eddie chooses a hell of a time to not be a coward for once in his life.

[mintjeru]

[chiluc angel au]

lore drop! diluc always wears a translucent veil to cover their face, and bc of magic, it can't be blown upwards by the wind to reveal how they look. it can, however, be blown against them so ajax can see the contours of their features. all this does is make him more curious though.

open for better quality | no reposts | ID under the cut

[Image description: A three page traditional comic of a scene from my Chiluc Angel AU.

On the first page, Ajax washes dishes at the kitchen sink while Diluc sits on the couch behind him, reading a book. "You're always wearing your veil, even at home," says Ajax. "Why won't you show me your face, Master Angel?"

"Mortals cannot comprehend my appearance," replies Diluc.

A tiny Ajax face at the bottom of the page laughs a "haha" with furrowed brows.

On the second page, Ajax says, "Okay, so you're self-confident. But still, not even a little peek?"

"No, what I meant was-" Diluc starts.

On the third page, Diluc finishes his sentence with, "you would literally be blinded."

A serious air and gloom hang over the scene.

Ajax is silent for a moment, and then responds, "You know what? Nevermind then."

"A wise choice," says Diluc.]

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

@steddieangstyaugust Day 29 - Trope Thursday: Future

i’m challenging myself to keep all these at either 127 or 1,270 words each, see day one for more of an explanation!

Vecna is gone.

Max is out of the hospital.

Eddie too, and rightfully hailed a hero to the town.

Robin’s gap year is about to be over.

The future Steve had never thought would come is suddenly here.

It’s packed up in boxes alongside Robin’s new textbooks, it’s tucked between layers of the shitheads’ graduation gown order forms, it’s looming over the something that had sprang up between him and Eddie since last year..

They don’t talk about it.

They continue with their regular hangouts, getting closer and closer with each visit, neither one wanting to be the one to bring up the inevitable.

Until.

“We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“So I’ve heard,”

“And if I asked you to come?”

“Thank fuck,” Eddie breathes, “I thought you’d never ask.”

light angst for the last thing i'm writing for this month!! tomorrow's and saturday's are already queued and drafted! woo!

see the collection on ao3!

[ittybittybeastiebuddy]

whats a story trope you really like

Everyone and their mother knows I'm always down horrendously for the found family trope, so I'm gonna go for one of my less common trope favorites and say that thing in fantasy/scifi/etc. Stories where it cuts from characters doing typical genre fitting activities to more mundane shit, like having a wizard go to the fantasy dmv to get their license so they can legally cast spells in the city. I eat that shit up, anytime I can get slice of life moments that shift the tone of a story and reveal that the world is in fact more than just a setpiece for high fantasy shenanigans I'm fuckin ecstatic akfhskfj. You can tell I love this trope because it makes constant appearances in a lot of my personal stories, like my character who opens a food truck during the zombie apocalypse, or my other guy whose in a Danny phantom esque situation between the world's of the living and dead who uses his ability to phase through walls to grab his incredibly complicated coffee order from the only 24 hour Cafe in town.

[raymoohackery]

what i wish i saw more people talk about in robot related transhumanism is maintenance. shit breaks down. every machine ever has needed a mechanic to look after it. the robot as an ideal of immortality should not be seen as an ideal of independence - so long as there are parts to keep you running, you will live, but you will need people to look after you to reorganize your cables and oil your joints and tighten your screws. you will outlive everyone but not if they help you do so first. and the inability to escape being cared for by others even as you are no longer made of flesh is what makes robot transhumanism loop right back to being human