#tristan is humble

[mitternacht]

I’m sorry but this is Rip and Latla’s dynamic. To me.

[intheupside]

who would survive on a deserted island (dkpitt)

Bryan Rust: I feel like Harkins probably could. He seems like a guy who would be climbing trees and cutting them down with his bare hands, maybe even chewing them down. I think he would do well.

Reilly Smith: I wouldn't say any of us! No, you know what? Harks. Harks could survive. He can probably find weird things to eat. He'd be sufficient at just getting by.

Jansen Harkins: Ned. He just seems resourceful, and I feel like he could just chill. I don't think he needs too much.

Alex Nedeljkovic: Jars. He seems like an outdoorsy guy. Survivalist? I don't know if that's a real word.

P.O Joseph. Not Ned! I'm going to say Gravy. He's from the Maritimes, I feel like they know a little about the outdoors is my guess. On a serious note, I think Ned would definitely be someone that would be good at it, just his capacity of adjusting in places. He would be good at it.

Lars Eller: Sid. He seems to be going different ways about things, about a lot of things. He doesn't rely too much on new technology, let's just say that.

Jake Guentzel: Sid. He's just an outdoorsman, that's kind of his vibe. I'm sure he could find something to live off of.

Chad Ruhwedel: Sid or Carts, or myself. They seem like they could handle themselves in a tough situation. I think I would do OK.

Kris Letang: Sid, he lives in the middle of the woods.

Erik Karlsson: Sid. I just feel like he would be very creative and would probably figure out a way to sustain himself for as long as he needed.

Valtteri Puustinen: I would say Kopi (Joona Koppanen). He's the smartest guy, I think. He knows what he's doing. I think if I went with myself? I'm dying. But he's a smart guy.

Joona Koppanen: I'll take Carts. He has the wisdom and the dad strength.

Colin White: John Ludvig. I feel like he's pretty handy, he'd like the outdoors like that.

Drew O'Connor: Luds, probably. He seems like he would. Look at him! He seems like an animal, don't you think?

John Ludvig: I'm going to say Cookie (Noel Acciari). Cookie's a burly man, he can handle himself. I'm pretty sure he'd find a way to survive wherever he was. I'll go with him.

Noel Acciari: Rudy (Chad Ruhwedel). He has a military background with his dad, he just seems handy.

Marcus Pettersson: Rudy. I think he's pretty handy, he could make something out of nothing, make himself a good shelter. That's big, I think he could build a shelter. Raks is a good fisherman, but the problem is he's alone on that island. He doesn't touch the fish, he hates touching the fish. He doesn't do it. So it'd be a problem, he'd need somebody with him.

Jonathan Gruden: I feel like Petey (Marcus Pettersson) would be good, just being around him for a little bit. He's pretty good, he could work his way around it and survive. Not OC. But P.O could maybe survive too. (Me: Half the team picked P.O for who couldn't survive.) I've got P.O's back! Maybe he's fooling me.

Magnus Hellberg: Can I pick myself? I'm really big into the outdoors and hiking, hunting, fishing. I think I've watched every season of Alone and all those survival shows. I like to be out in nature. When I think about all the guys, I feel like I'm the most nerdy with that stuff, spend a lot of time on the water. I would say myself, but in a humble way.

Rickard Rakell: I think Sid would do pretty well. I feel like he lives out in nowhere over the summer.

Sidney Crosby: I think I'd say Ricky (Rakell). He's pretty chill, I think he's got some survival instincts. He's got the tools.

Ryan Graves: Maybe Jars, I feel like he's outdoorsy.

Jesse Puljujarvi: Maybe Jarry. I heard he stays on a farm? So that's why.

Tristan Jarry: Tanger. He'd find someone to come pick him up.

[jgthirlwell]

2024 Year In Review

2024 was another intense year. It was the first time in twenty years I wasn’t scoring a show for TV, and I got to concentrate on finishing albums and starting new projects. The year began with the premiere of my chamber symphony for Alterity Chamber Orchestra in Orlando and ended with guest-vocalizing with the Losers Lounge Band on a Bowie classic at Joe's Pub in NYC. I completed new albums for Xordox and Venture Bros, to be released in 2025. I released an Archer Soundtrack album and scored a Harry Smith film for L’Etrange Festival in Paris. Worked with Laura Wolf on a new project and premiered my Ensemble project at the Big Ears Festival in Tennessee. Recorded many overdubs for the next Foetus album, also to be released in 2025. Began a new series of sculptural wall pieces. We lost Phill Niblock in January and Steve Albini in May. We lost my colleague Roli Mosimann in September. I still woke up 5am in a panic on too many occasions. As a cultural omnivore, many sights, sounds and stimuli penetrated me.

Albums that I enjoyed in 2024

Sleepytime Gorilla Museum of the Last Human Being (Pelagic) Present This is not the end (Cuneiform) Tristan Perich/Ensemble 0 Open Symmetry (Erased Tapes) Drew McDowall A Thread Silvered and Trembling (Dais) Warrington-Runcorn New Town Development Plan Your Community Hub (Castles In Space) Extra Life The Sacred Vowel (Bandcamp) Geordie Greep The New Sound (Rough Trade) D-en Haut D-en Haut (Pagan) Aksumi Fleeting Future + Lines (Tonal Union) Louis Cole Nothing (Brainfeeder) Uniform American Standard (Sacred Bones) Zeal and Ardor Greif (Redacted) Shellac To All Trains (Touch and Go) Bangladeafy Vulture (Nefarious Industries) Ekko Astral Pink Balloons (Topshelf Records) Kee Avil Spine (Constellation) Fennesz Mosaic (Touch) Marewren Ukouk Round singing Voices of the Ainu 2012-2024 (Pingipung) Elysian Fields What The Thunder Said (Ojet) Melvins Tarantula Heart (Ipecac) Blood Incantation Absolute Elsewhere (Century Media) Aoife O’Donovan All My Friends (Yep Roc) Anna Thorvaldsdottir Aerial (Sono Luminus) Grace Bergere A Little Blood (Casa Gogol) Bob Vylan Humble As The Sun (Ghost Theatre 2) Andy Akiho Kin (Aki Rhythm) Yannis Kyriakides Hypnokaseta (Unsounds) Big | Brave A Chaos of Flowers (Thrill Jockey) The The Ensoulment (Cinéola / earMUSIC) Beth Gibbons Lives Outgrown (Domino) Beak >>>> / Kosmik Musik (Invada) Sebastian Tropic OST (Ed Banger) Chaser Planned Obsolescence (Decoherence Records) Jesus Lizard Rack (Ipecac) Ex East Islander Norther (Rocket Recordings)

Some books I enjoyed

Yuval Noah Harari Nexus Chris Stein Under A Rock Bill Buford Among The Thugs Patricia Highsmith The Talented Mr Ripley Sy Montgomery Soul Of An Octopus Malcolm Gladwell Revenge Of The Tipping Point

Some films I enjoyed

Furiosa ZEF Story Of Die Antwoord Joker Folie A Deux Kneecap Bad Faith Rebel Ridge Hundreds Of Beavers Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Behavior Teachers Lounge

I saw hundreds of concerts in 2024. Some highlights:

01.24.24 The Chisel at Bowery Ballroom 02.15.24 Jack Quartet play Austin Wulliman at Roulette Intermedium NYC. 03.09.24 Louis Cole / Genevieve Artadi at Brooklyn Steel 03.14.24 Kate NV at the Atrium at Lincoln Center 03.18.24 Sleepytime Gorilla Museum at Elsewhere in Brooklyn 03.23.24 Secret Chiefs 3 at Big Ears Festival 03.23.24 Hatis Noit at St John’s Cathedral in Knoxville TN for the Big Ears Festival 03.24.24 Kenny Wollesen’s Sonic Massage at Knoxville Art Museum for the Big Ears Festival 03.24.24 Elliott Sharp’s Void Patrol (with guests Cyro Batista and Colin Stetson) at Big Ears Festival 03.24.24 Aoife O'Donovan with the Knoxville Symphony Chamber Orchestra at the Big Ears Festival 04.01.24 Caleb Landry Jones at The Sultan Room i 04.06.24 Lovely Little Girls at Hart Bar. 04.19.24 Keith Fullerton Whitman performs ‘Playthroughs’ at Ambient Church 04.23.24 Mandy Indiana at Elsewhere in Brooklyn 04.26.24 Knower at the Brooklyn Bowl 05.04.24 Oberlin Contemporary Music Ensemble, directed by Tim Weiss, play Alex Paxton at Long Play Festival 05.04.24 Fuji|||||||||||ta at Long Play Festival 05.05.24 Ligeti Quartet perform Ligeti + Anna Meredith at Long Play Festival 05.17.23 Swans at Music Hall of Williamsburg 05.23.24 The Rolling Stones played at Met Life Stadium in New Jersey. 05.24.24 John Zorn’s ensemble, the New Masada Quartet 06.08.24 Rebekah Heller’s Bassoon Ensemble 06.25.24 Mdou Moctar at Bowery Ballroom NYC 07.12.24 C.Gibbs Review at Barbes 07.23.24 Bangladeafy at The Sultan Room in Brooklyn 08.18.24 Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds at Union Pool 08.23.24 Alarm Will Sound play Marcos Balter’s Code-Switching, 09.30.24 Uniform at Bowery Ballroom 09.04.24 King Dunn aka King Buzzo (Melvins) and Trevor Dunn (Mr Bungle etc) at Music Hall of Williamsburg + White Eagle Hall in Jersey City. 09.13.24 Steven Bernstein and Nels Cline with the Arturo O'Farrill Latin Jazz Orchestra, playing James Bond themes. At Bryant Park in NYC. 09.15.24 PJ Harvey at Terminal 5, NYC 10.11.24 John Zorn’s Cobra in a 40th anniversary performance at Roulette Intermedium in Brooklyn 10.17.25 The The played at the Beacon Theater 10.22.24 Die Antwoord at Brooklyn Steel, 10.23.24 Boris played at Racket in NYC. 11.01.24 William Basinski for Age Of Reflections 11.04.24 Growing performing for Abasement at Artists Space in Manhattan 11.06.24 Pioneer Works presented a concert of Louis Cole Choral Music. 11.08.24 Lankum at Warsaw in Brooklyn 11.17.24 sunn o))) at Lincoln Center for the Unsound Festival 11.21.24 Extra Life at TV Eye. 11.24.24 Zeal and Ardor at Le Poisson Rouge NYC 11.25.24 Axiom, comprised of Juilliard students and conducted by Jeffrey Milarsky playing Solstice Ritual by Augusta Read Thomas 11.26.24 Blood Incantation at Elsewhere 12.01.24 Pharmakon’s awesomely unhinged performance at Union Pool. 12.11.24 Jesus Lizard played a great set at Brooklyn Steel 12.28.24 Grace Bergere / Jon Spencer / Gogol Bordello Capitol Theater Port Chester

Honorable mention to the multiple concerts I attended at the Abasement series at Artist Space, as well as multiple shows by S.E.M. Ensemble and Wet Ink Ensemble

[fafnir19]

The bowtie

Tristan watched the stars twinkle faintly above the hotel's garden as he swirled the gin tonic in his glass. The soft evening breeze carried laughter and muffled chatter from the nearby pre-wedding-dinner. The soft glow of fairy lights cast a gentle ambiance, creating a serene backdrop for the upcoming wedding. Dressed in his tuxedo, he felt a touch out of place amidst the chatter and laughter drifting from the dining hall.

As he gazed at the stars, a voice interrupted his solitude. "Have you already chosen which bridesmaid you will get laid?" The words sliced through the calm, revealing the arrival of a man named Samuel, the bride's brother. Dark hair framing a chiseled jaw, Samuel exuded confidence and charm. Tristan's friend had told him about Samuel's reputation as a womanizer and a ruthless boss in an investment bank.

The question hung in the air, leaving Tristan flustered and unsure how to respond. "I, um, I..." he stammered and his heart was beating faster by stress. "I'm not... I usually... I mean, I don't..." His fingers tightened around the glass, a nervous energy thrumming beneath his calm exterior. Samuel chuckled, a low and knowing sound that sent a shiver down Tristan's spine. "Relax, mate. I was just pulling your leg," he said with a grin, a glint of mischief in his eyes. Leaning back, he appraised Tristan with a curious gaze. "You strike me as a man of numbers, more comfortable with algorithms than small talk. Am I right?" Tristan blinked, surprised by the astute observation. "Yes, I... I've always been more at ease with calculations than conversations," he admitted, a hint of self-consciousness lacing his voice. Samuel's easy confidence was a stark contrast to his own insecurities, highlighting the gap between them. One, a reserved mathematician futil trying navigating social waters, and the other, a charming banker well-versed in the ways of the world.

With a swift movement, Samuel's fingers deftly adjusted Tristan's bow tie and he inquired, “but honestly, which bridesmaid are you going to seduce?" Samuel's words caught Tristan off guard again, his cheeks flushing a rosy hue. "I-I usually don't... I mean, I'm not that assertive with women," Tristan stammered, his usual shyness creeping in. "Nonsense," Samuel chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You're a catch, you just need to loosen up a bit. Let me assist you with that."

Samuel fixed Tristan's gaze and suddenly Tristan's bowtie unfolded itself and slid into Tristan's shirt and slithered down his chest. A mix of confusion and arousal stirred within Tristan as the bowtie trailed lower over his sensitive nipples.

The silky touch against his skin sparked a fire of desire within him, and his nipples perked up at the unexpected caress. Tristan's breath caught in his throat as the bowtie gradually moved down to his waist. Moans escaped Tristan's lips as the silk bowtie continued its journey, coiling sensually around his cock and balls. The fabric embraced his manhood with a gentle yet firm grip, sending waves of pleasure coursing through his body. Tristan's breath hitched as desire surged within him, his arousal undeniable in the moonlit garden. With each subtle movement of the silk, Tristan's member responded eagerly, rising to attention beneath the fabric's teasing caress. The sensation was unlike anything he had ever experienced, a potent mix of silk and desire that left him yearning for more. His tuxedo jacket vanished into thin air, followed by the slow unfurling of his shirt buttons. Tristan's pants' fly opened effortlessly, revealing a surprise awaiting him underneath – a sleek black silk jockstrap, a transformation from his once-humble bowtie. A grin tugged at the corners of Tristan's lips as he marveled at the sight of himself clad in the lustrous garment, his manhood sheathed in silk that accentuated every curve and contour.

Before he knew it, Tristan stood there in nothing but the black silk jockstrap that moments ago was his bowtie, his bare ass exposed to the night air. Samuel leaned back, a predatory gleam in his eyes as he took in Tristan's newfound state of undress. "Now that's more like it," he purred, his tone laden with promise. Panic welled up within Tristan, urging him to flee from this bewildering turn of events.

As he moved to flee, Samuel's firm hand grasped his shoulder, halting Tristan in his tracks. He turned to face Samuel, his blue eyes wide with confusion. Without a word, Samuel's hand slid down Tristan's back, fingers tracing a tantalizing path until they reached their destination. Tristan's breath hitched as Samuel fingered his hole shamelessly and his touch sent a shockwave of sensation through his body.

The intimacy of the moment left Tristan speechless, his body responding to the unknown sensations with a primal need. Before Tristan could gather his thoughts, Samuel deftly turned him around, pressing him against the bench. The world seemed to spin as Tristan found himself at the mercy of Samuel's desires, a flurry of emotions swirling within him. As Samuel took what he wanted, Tristan's body surrendered to the overwhelming wave of pleasure and confusion.

And then, as quickly as it had begun, it was over. Tristan was left breathless and with Samuel’s cum inside of him. He watched in shock as Samuel ripped away the silk jockstrap, revealing a truth that left Tristan reeling. His cock, once a part of him, now merged seamlessly with the fabric of the jockstrap. It was a sight that defied logic, a bizarre twist in an already surreal night.

Before Tristan could even begin to process what had happened, Samuel was gone, disappearing into the night with Tristan's manhood in tow. The abrupt departure of Samuel, along with the disappearance of the black silk jockstrap, jolted Tristan back to reality. His eyes widened in disbelief as he realized the unthinkable – his very essence, his manhood, had merged with the silk and was now gone, taken by the enigmatic Samuel.

Tristan's heart raced as he sat in the church the next day and fixed his gaze on Samuel, the enigmatic and devilishly handsome investment banker, near the altar. The memories of the night before in the hotel garden flooded his mind. He wanted to approach Samuel and reclaim his manhood. But he couldn't just do it in the middle of a church during a wedding ceremony. Tristan could hardly believe his eyes as he watched Samuel gracefully adjusting a bowtie around the neck of a jock-like groomsman.

Each precise movement of Samuel's hands sent shivers down Tristan's spine, as if he was the one being touched. The realization struck him like a thunderbolt - his own cock had transformed into that very bowtie, binding him to the groomsman in an intimate and surreal manner. The wave of lust that accompanied every adjustment of the bowtie sent shivers down Tristan's spine. He squirmed in his seat, trying to focus on the ceremony at hand, but his thoughts were consumed by the torment of desire. A bead of sweat trickled down Tristan's forehead as he struggled to contain the overwhelming sensations coursing through him. The church's solemn atmosphere contrasted sharply with the carnal urges stirring within him, creating a discordant symphony of conflicting emotions. Tristan's hands clenched the edge of the wooden pew, his knuckles turning white with the effort of holding back his desires. The groomsman, unaware of the intricate connection between his bowtie and Tristan's own body, occasionally adjusted the silk accessory with practiced ease. Each subtle movement seemed calculated to drive Tristan to the brink of madness. The air around him crackled with suppressed energy, his mind clouded by a haze of lust and longing. As the ceremony progressed, Tristan's internal struggle intensified. The knot of desire tightened within him, threatening to unravel his self-control. He stole furtive glances at Samuel, whose gaze seemed to pierce through Tristan's facade, laying bare his innermost desires.

The weight of unspoken words hung heavy in the air between them, suffusing the church with an undercurrent of tension. Time seemed to stretch and distort, elongating the minutes into agonizing eternities. Tristan's breath came in shallow gasps, his chest rising and falling with the rhythm of his escalating arousal. The wedding hymns echoed through the hallowed space, their melodic strains weaving a tapestry of temptation around Tristan's senses. But Tristan knew he had to bide his time, waiting for the right moment to make his move.

As dinner finally commenced, Tristan seized the opportunity to approach Samuel and the jock-like groomsman.

His palms clammy and his heart pounding, he watched intently as Samuel nonchalantly removed the bowtie from the groomsman's neck. The motion was like a siren's call, letting Tristan squirm in uncharted desire. With a steady hand, Samuel slid the bowtie into Tristan's shirt, where it snaked down to his crotch, transforming into the familiar silk jockstrap, packed with his cock and balls.

But this time, something was different. Tristan felt a shift in the air, a transformation stirring within him. And as he looked down, he realized that he was no longer the same man. In that moment, Tristan was reborn. His body exuded a newfound confidence, muscles sculpted and a smirk playing on his lips. Tristan stood there as a reflection of the groomsman who had once worn the bowtie.

No longer the timid mathematician trapped in his own insecurities, Tristan stood tall, exuding a newfound aura of self-assurance.

As he tried to process this sudden transformation, a bridesmaid sauntered by, catching his eye with a mischievous twinkle. Without hesitation, Tristan found himself slipping effortlessly into a flirtatious banter with the bridesmaid.

Gone was the awkwardness that usually plagued him in social settings. He exuded confidence and charm, much to his own surprise. Later that evening, amidst the cozy ambiance of the fireside room, Tristan found himself entwined in a passionate embrace with the bridesmaid. Moans and sighs filled the air as they surrendered to desire. As they parted ways, Tristan emerged from the fireside room, his strides filled with a newfound swagger. It was then that Samuel appeared.

Samuel's hand clapped down on Tristan's back in a congratulatory gesture, his voice laced with a mix of amusement and satisfaction. "Your transformation is now irreversible," Samuel declared, his words carrying an air of finality. "Henceforth, you will be a vain and cocksure jock." With a flourish, Samuel produced a business card and extended it to Tristan. "Join my investment banking team on Monday. Embrace your new identity." A protest formed on Tristan's lips, a plea to retain his former self, but an unfamiliar force gripped him. A surge of bravado surged through his veins, drowning out his doubts. His once rational mind now clouded with a heady mix of power and allure.

Samuel's satisfaction only deepened as he observed Tristan's internal struggle. With a sardonic smirk dancing on his lips, Samuel remarked, "I don't get why HR always whines about hiring the right people. All you have to do is get the appropriate candidates by the balls!" His words cut through the tension, revealing a glimpse of Samuel's ruthless nature beneath his charming facade.

Tristan couldn't help but feel a mix of anticipation and intrigue at what lay ahead. With a nod of acceptance, Tristan pocketed the business card, feeling the weight of his decision settle upon him. The path ahead was unclear, but one thing was certain – he was no longer the meek mathematician he once was. His very essence seemed to shift, aligning with Samuel's vision of a ruthless and confident figure in the cutthroat world of finance. As the night faded into dawn, Tristan stood at the precipice of a new beginning, his heart racing with anticipation and a newfound hunger for success.

[y-rhywbeth2]

On the topic of “what deity could Durge convert to who would both protect them and also really piss of Bhaal?” And the fact that I’m on the final book of the Moonshaes, I think Chauntea would probably be one of the most HILARIOUS, absolute slap in the face options for Durge to convert to.

I think I only have maybe 5 or so chapters left of Darkwell (Bhaal’s only just had the idea of making the ravager) so i don’t think he’s aware of Chauntea turning her gaze upon the isles yet (since she hasn’t really done much herself and it’s just been Robyn using her scrolls), but considering how pissed he was at the Earthmother over Kazzy’s, thorax’s, and most of his perytons dying, I can only imagine how mad he’s gonna be when he gets personally defeated by He Who Should Really Keep It In His FUCKING PANTS.

I honestly can’t decide which would piss Bhaal off more. Durge converting to Chauntea or Cyric, although I’m kinda leaning towards Chauntea a bit since she’s Bhaal’s antithesis. I mean at least Cyric is evil.

(The Earthmother is actually part of Chauntea (an aspect, part of her primordial facet as the earth itself from before she was an agricultural goddess), although Bhaal seems unaware of this)

Chauntea is a brilliant choice for Durge. Not only is she Bhaal's antithesis, but she's humble and expects it from her followers. The antichrist, with all that raging ego Bhaal expects from his avatar/child... gives it all up to move to the countryside and go be a humble crop farmer and midwife. If gods could have aneurysms from rage, Bhaal would be having one.

Cyric is a personal insult, and I still wish he'd been a cleric option just because it would piss literally everyone in the game off. Cyricist Durge romancing Gale is probably the funniest way to go if you're trying to upset the gods. Including potentially your own.

I stand behind Bane as a great option, because Bane backstabbing the other two and pissing Bhaal, specifically, off is my hobby (also Bane/Durge is my crackship and I get to make tasteless jokes about it). He does offer to make you Chosen and apparently canonically likes Durge, if we trust Gortash...

Jergal's a fairly basic choice in the form of giving absentee grandad custody rights over his much worse adopted son who is an actively shitty father.

And I'm on my strange Mililan Durge kick from now on. (Milil is fun to me, because of Alfira, and because his whole dogma is about embracing life and making it beautiful and creativity and change and etc. Very antithetical to Bhaal's doctrine of death and destruction. You quit being the antichrist to go to music therapy, join the local choir and run a music shop. This is only marginally better than being a farmer! (Plus Milil is in a situation where he needs to rebuild his faded presence as a god, so he's going to be on the lookout for strong followers to sway to his worship. Durge is potentially at a crossroads of healing from 'the world is vile, everything must die' indoctrination while looking for something to fill the void that faith often leaves, it could be a fateful meeting type of thing.))

There are other good options, though I don't remember them at the moment.

And yes. Somebody whack Tristan over the head and tell him to stop sneaking around with old ladies' corpses who are actually dinosaurs who are actually Malar in service to Bhaal (Or actually Bhaal. He may in fact have fucked Bhaal. Sources vary).

[gatheringbones]

[“My Bodysex Workshops were well received, so I decided to film one. You just can’t beat the moving image; it’s an opportunity to give people images of what sex might be. The best way for us to learn is to find out what’s going on with everyone else.

My girlfriend and I used a home video camera, and it took me two years to edit it on two clunky tape decks. My films were automatically labeled porn, because if you see a pussy or a penis, it’s porn. But you can’t teach sex without getting explicit, so, again, I found myself embracing the role of pornographer.

Before the Internet, every time I said “masturbation,” it either sent folks into gales of laughter or provoked embarrassed looks as they quickly changed the subject. My articles for magazines were canceled and interviews for television ended up on the cutting room floor. The bottom line of sexual repression is the prohibition of childhood masturbation. This humble activity is the basis for all of human sexuality. The Internet was the first place in my long career that I was not censored.

My old lover Grant ran my first website. At the end, he was classified as legally blind, and held a magnifying glass, with his nose an inch from the screen. When I joined forces with law school grad and cyber geek Carlin Ross, we created a new website. I believe that once Grant met Carlin, he was able to leave his disintegrating body. He made it to his eighty-sixth birthday and died proud with his boots on, with the next upload for my website sitting on his hard drive. I miss him terribly to this day. We had the most passionate love/hate affair of the century.

Carlin and I offer free, accessible sex information, both visual and written, to women and men. We call the clips where we show sexual skills, “The New Porn.” Sex education must be entertaining, not academic, dry, boring, or stilted. I’m not afraid of the word porn. If people are going to call my explicit sex education porn, then I say embrace the word. Be the new porn, be the porn you want to see. While it’s true that a lot of pornography out there is shitty for the most part, it still works: it gets people hot. The biggest turn on for me is to have a fully orgasmic partner, not someone pretending or playing. We all know the real deal when it’s happening—authentic orgasms are unmistakable. I’m a sex-positive feminist, liberating women one orgasm at a time.

Our site represents a new feminist sexual politics that’s well beyond any victimhood of rape and sexual abuse. We represent orgasmic feminism—a new movement of women who have taken control of our sex lives, and who dare to design them in any way we choose whether we’re straight, bi, lesbian, or a combination, and we can enjoy our bodies in any way we desire.”]

betty dodson, from the porn wars, from the feminist porn book: the politics of producing pleasure, edited by tristan taormino, constance henley, and celine perreñas shimizu, 2013

[jonquilyst]

Day 28 - Finale

After weeks of battle and triumph, it's time to lay the 2nd season of Total Drama Sims to rest and officially crown a winner!

Our finalists, Liana Morris and Paulina Callaway, had the wits, guts, and strength to persevere through the entire game, outlasting everyone else in the process. Now, all of the eliminated contestants will be coming together to vote for a winner! Like last season, votes will be public and will go from the bottom of the leaderboard up! (aka last place to the most recently eliminated)

Let's see who will be winning Total Drama Sims and receive the grand prize!!

14TH PLACE - BRODY SHERMAN

"I'm voting for you Paulina, because we talked for a bit on the very first day and I thought you were pretty cool, so... yeah."

13TH PLACE - TRISTAN BACHMAN

"Liana, because you're nice, I guess, and I underestimated you a bit. But I never even talked to Paulina, so..."

12TH PLACE - ASHLEE SCHAEFER

"Paulina, the fact that you got eliminated, lucked out and joined the other team, and then just... never got eliminated after that was pretty freakin' awesome! Sooo much cooler than Liana's run, if you ask me, so I'm voting for you."

11TH PLACE - NEAL WARD

"This was a difficult vote for me since I felt like I was genuinely friends with both of you, but I'm deciding to vote for Paulina because I felt closer to her and Liana was part of the alliance that voted me out. Hope you don't take it personally, Liana, but that's just how I feel."

10TH PLACE - WILLABELLE LOWES

"I'm obviously voting for you, Liana! Ever since Toni got out I was keeping my fingers crossed you'd make it to the end! While I would have liked to win, if there's anyone who should win instead, it's definitely you."

TIED FOR 8TH PLACE - HANS SOMME

"I did a lot of thinking ever since I was eliminated. While I was watching the rest of the competition, I realized that Liana was friends with everybody... literally! She went up and became friends with everybody, and because of that no one seemed to want to vote her out. She was also so sweet and humble, never once bragging about herself and comforting others when they were in a bad mood... And I just thought to myself: 'Damn... No wonder I got out so quick.'"

"I've kinda realized I'm not the best person around... I've had some beef with a few people here, and that's kinda what led to me getting out... So, out of respect for you Liana, I'm voting for you. I wanna try to be more like you in the future."

TIED FOR 8TH PLACE - TONI STROUD

"Of course you're getting my vote, Liana! I am so proud that you made it to the finale. You deserve the entire world, girly!"

7TH PLACE - COFFEE BEAN

"I'm voting for you, Paulina, because you were very kind to me after you joined the Illustrious Star-Shines. Also, I believe that you did not deserve to be voted out of the Renowned Big-Names. It's so cool you made it to the finale despite being eliminated before, so I believe you deserve to win."

6TH PLACE - ENZO ESPINOZA

"I knew you could do it, Paulina! You're so talented. Even though I couldn't win, I really hope you can. So of course, my vote is going to you, my love."

5TH PLACE - TAKASHI ABBOTTSFORD

"Liana! I'm voting for you because you're super nice and I think you deserve to win!"

4TH PLACE - FLO HARPER

"Yeah, you're a real one for sure, Liana, so I'm voting for you! You deserve it!"

3RD PLACE - DREW PINTO

"What Flo said! But also, that morning when you comforted me Liana... You didn't have to do that, but you did, and I really, really appreciate it... I honestly think both of you deserve to win; you're both my friends, but I have to choose one or the other, so... I'm choosing Liana."

With a vote of 7-5, the winner of the 2nd season of Total Drama Sims is...

LIANA MORRIS!!!

CONGRATULATIONS @bloomingkyras!! Liana has won the competition and has therefore won the grand prize! The grand prize consists of a small real-life award given personally from me (you will be contacted), while in-universe, whatever Liana receives is up to you! Whether it's 1,000,000 simoleons, a mansion, or even a dream vacation, it's hers!

There will be 1 final post to close out Total Drama Sims: Season 2 and celebrate our winner! Stay tuned…

@cowplant-ate-my-sim @aniraklova @micrathene-w @shmoodlet @nakasumi-sims

@invisiblequeen @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants @simsinfinitylt @riverofjazzsims @seyvia

@stargazer-sims @akitasimblr @witheringscreations

[a-d-nox]

7 deadly sins as asteroids

the seven deadly sins as asteroids

i'm going to work off of what i already have posted (no asteroids discussed after this post will be included or added after the fact). i would like to state that what i am about to list out does not mean to accuse you of being sinful if prominent (remember all asteroids have to land somewhere). if you don't understand my thought process feel free to comment with questions!

tw: mentions of rape.

envy: discontentment, resentment, and/or jealousy over the acheievements and blessings another possesses.

aphrodite (asteroid 1388) - jealous lover epithet.

athene (asteroid 881) / pallas (asteroid 2) - nearly every moral she has interacted with is because she was envious of what they had... from worshippers paying "too much attention" to her high priestess to a weaver who had too much talent.

eris (asteroid 136199) - started the trojan war because she wasn't invited to a wedding.

medea (212) - killed jason's new wife and children because he didn't love her anymore.

gluttony: over-indulgence or over-consumption of what can be ingested internally (i.e. food, drink, drugs, etc.).

cerberus (asteroid 1865) - ate sinners who tried to escape the underworld.

dionysus (asteroid 3671) - he's a wine god; it's part of his nature to over consume...

poe (asteroid 17427) - might have drank himself to death and definitely did a ton of drugs during his lifetime.

tantalus (asteroid 2102) - his punishment in the underworld is constant hunger and thirst.

greed: excessive love and selfish desire for external, material objects.

beowulf (asteroid 38086) - had to see the dragons loot before he died.

midas (asteroid 1981) - asked for the gift to turn what he touched to gold.

minos (asteroid 6239) - took the offering of the gods.

nessus (asteroid 7066) - tried to steal the wife of an famous hero.

psyche (asteroid 16) - had to open the underworld box because it had something inside that she was told would even make the goddess of beauty even more gorgeous, and she simply had to have it.

sisyphus (asteroid 1866) - took the gifts of his visitors before killing them.

lust: constantly seeking sexual pleasure / gratification (seen as rape, adultery, seduction, etc.).

aphrodite (asteroid 1388) - chased after men as a married woman.

apollo (asteroid 1862) - had a long list of "lovers."

asmodeus (asteroid 2174) - demon of lust.

byron (asteroid 3306) - known for his lustful behavior.

cybele (asteroid 65) - had a sex cult.

eos (asteroid 221) - cursed to have uncontrollable sexual urges.

helena (asteroid 101) - was married and ran away with a man she just met or fell in lust with her attractive captor depending on the version/translation. tried to distract her husband by undressing when she was "saved."

isolda (asteroid 211) - under the control of a "love potion." tried to be with the nephew of the man she married.

ixion (asteroid 28978) - tried to have sex with the queen of the gods had sex with clouds shaped as her instead.

nessus (asteroid 7066) - couldn't control his sexual urges and tried to rape one of his costumers.

pan (asteroid 4450) - chased after nymphs he found attractive.

paris (asteroid 3317) - was offered power, wisdom, or the hottest woman alive. opted for the woman and didn't care that she was married - "kidnapped her" anyway.

poseidon (asteroid 4341) - very sexually frustrated, involved in a few rapes.

priapus (h22) - cursed in the womb to have sexual dysfunctions. attempted to rape a virginal goddess.

tristan (asteroid 1966) - under the control of a "love potion." tried to be with his aunt.

zeus (asteroid 5731) - had a long list of "lovers" whilst married to the queen of the gods.

pride: self-devotion, excessively believing in one's own abilities. lack of humble attitude.

achilles (asteroid 588) - only weakness was his heal; he otherwise acted invulnerable.

arachne (asteroid 407) - deemed herself more talented than the goddess of crafts.

athene (asteroid 881) / pallas (asteroid 2) - feels the need to humble everyone and appears to dislike being humbled herself.

apollo (asteroid 1862) - overly competitive in many areas of life.

echo (asteroid 60) - thought she was clever enough to distract the queen of the gods.

icarus (asteroid 1566) - believed he could fly higher than he was capable of.

lucifer (asteroid1930) - believed he should reign over the heavens and not God.

medea (asteroid 212) - believed she should be the punisher of those around her.

narcissus (asteroid 37117) - thought he was too pretty to be with any of his suitors.

odysseus (asteroid 1143) / ulysess (asteroid 5254) - thought he could fake mental illness to get out of going to war.

sisyphus (asteroid 1866) - tricked the queen of the dead into letting him re-enter the world of the living; thought that, as a mortal, he was above death.

tantalus (asteroid 2102) - thought he could trick the gods into eating his son.

voltaire (asteroid 5676) - wrote a lot about pride.

zeus (asteroid 5731) - believed only he could rule over the gods.

sloth: reluctance / failure to do what one should. apathy, boredom, or indifference to a god.

aci (asteroid 6522) - didn't move out of the way of the boulder.

ajax (asteroid 1404) - thought the gods chose wrong.

arachne (asteroid 407) - thought she was better than a god.

cheshirecat (asteroid 6042) - lazes about and gives no straightforward answers.

hypnos (asteroid 14827) - nearly always asleep.

madhatter (asteroid 6735) - it's always tea time so he can avoid his execution.

odysseus (asteroid 1143) / ulysses (asteroid 5254) - tried to get out of going to war.

pholus (asteroid 5145) - did nothing to stop the bloodbath in the cave.

wrath: uncontrolled anger, rage, and hatred.

achilles (asteroid 588) - had to get revenge on the side who killed his best friend.

ajax (asteroid 1404) - tried to kill a whole council for rejecting his ideas.

circe (asteroid 34) - turned sailors into animals. made her son kill an ex-lover.

grendel (asteroid 541982) - couldn't sleep, so he murdered hundreds of people.

hannibal (asteroid 2152) - swore at a young age to kill a specific group of people.

hera (asteroid 103) - constantly sought revenge as a jealous lover in many brutal ways.

horus (asteroid 1924) - killed his mother. had a life long revenge against his uncle.

ixion (asteroid 28978) - killed his own kin.

medea (asteroid 212) - killed her brother to escape... then killed her own children... and her ex-lover's new wife.

nessus (asteroid 7066) - even on his deathbed, he lied, so he could get his revenge on the person who killed him.

sisyphus (asteroid 1866) - killed his guests.

typhon (asteroid 42355) - his rage caused seismic activity.

let me know if you are interested in the opposition - the seven heavenly virtues - by submitting it in the ask box.

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© a-d-nox 2023 all rights reserved

[orionscelt]

[lukedanger]

Owlcatober - Day 2 - Fake Names (KM)

Day 2 of @owlcatober, focusing on a group of differently named adventurers preparing to infiltrate the Kingdom of the Cleansed...

[Ao3 Link]

And so dear readers, we leave the tale of the Baroness to follow the deeds of Sir Tristian, friend to Amalia of the Kingdom of the Cleansed! And the tale is now written not by Linzi the [insert title later], but Brynn the Ca

“Story check.”

Linzi looked up as she was interrupted by Ekundayo, her heavy maille shirt rustling as she did. They were all dressed differently, even Tristian had traded his Sarenite robes for the earthen robes of a humble pilgrim. A large black furred wolf with a riding harness was also sitting by the fire with them, next to Tristian at the moment.

“C’mon,” Amiri growled, clearly unhappy without her oversized sword in favor of the javelins, hatchet, and small shield of a skirmisher, “We went over this a bunch of times. I’m not dumb, I’m even learning those stupid letters!”

“Stories fall apart in the details,” Ekun retorted, having wrapped his head in cloth in a Thuvian style. “I will start: Taiwo, mercenary from Thuvia. Came north to see the world, offered to guide Tristian’s party. Prefer to be left alone.”

Amiri grunted, shaking head. “Fine - Valeria, thief from Numeria. Got caught robbing a League tower, sold as a slave, broke out after pushing a mill wheel for years, looking for a new life in Gevaudan.” She glanced at Octavia, “You next.”

“You had to use that as a background…” the wizardess exhaled, shaking her head despite the large pointy hat and thick black robes she was wearing. “Okay: Aurelia, necromancer from Galt trying to redeem herself. Fond of quite good whisky, late night strolls, and hates cities.”

Their attention turned to Kaessi, wearing a worn gambeson with a spear propped next to her seat on a log. “Layla. I came here to make a new life away from Qadira, joined a village militia with other settlers, and deserted after the troll attacks.” She cast a particularly harsh glare towards Tristian - the kind that stayed whether she was feeling kind or harsh that day. “So why does he not need to lie?”

“Amalia is… not fully aware,” Tristan admitted, looking down as if in shame as he was judged by kindness. “She knows me only as a humble pilgrim who was interested in how the Kingdom of the Cleansed offers redemption.”

“The covers were my suggestion,” Ekundayo added, “to reduce suspicion.” He turned to Linzi, then frowned at her notes. “I thought you left the book behind? Too iconic.”

Linzi exhaled. Yes, he had been quite firm on that. “A Cavalier of the Paw still has her entry in the annals to consider! A worthy cause sought, and a worthier one to charge into!” She stood up, the heroicness of the pose rather dampened by stumbling. Linzi was unused to the weight of maille on her shoulders, even with the belt of strength that Valerie had lent her.

“Regardless,” the bard-pretending-to-be-cavalier continued, “You can be sure to follow Brynn into gllloorrrrrrious battle!”

“Speaking of paws,” Amiri grumbled, “where’s Dog?”

Ekun sighed. “Too known. Besides, someone else plays the role of war wolf. Brynn?”

“Oh, right,” Linzi had almost forgotten the most important part! “Thank you Sir Tristian for keeping an eye on Gnaw while at Tuskdale!”

She could see Kaessi tilting her head and mouthing ‘Gnaw’ in confusion as the large black furred wolf rose and sniffed Tristian’s hand.

“Perhaps you should get her out of the harness for tonight,” Tristian suggested, gesturing towards Linzi.

“Oh, of course!” Linzi really should have known better. She didn’t have a squire, after all! Then again, I end up playing squire often enough… she thought as she started removing the strapping. Oh, if only she could write what she was really doing: she knew readers would have a laugh at it.

Hopefully the Baroness did not realize it either. That would be awkward. And embarrassing.

====

NOTES:

While I do not plan on doing as much with Kingmaker for Owlcatober, I did want to do a few things and test the waters a bit. Since KM was my first stab into Pathfinder at all I went relatively generic, and the baroness I rolled for it ended up as the proto version of Elaina. I've been mulling on ways to reroll her to stand out as her own character. Luckily, a confluence of circumstances such as the name I grabbed for the barony and certain problems like "They're In This Together!" constantly repeating offered an idea...

[lady-of-tearshed]

How to be rebellious, Tristan Flynn's guide for dummies

Ruhn Danaan week 2024

@ruhnweek @cadiawrites

Day 2: Crowned Prince

Ruhn Danaan x Reader

Sumarry: "First rule of being a prince: Rebel when you can!" Tristan Flynn's steps to turn Ruhn into a rebel.

A/N: Being rebellious is unnecessary. Do not listen to Tristan Flynn. Don't repeat Ruhn Danaan's mistake of taking Flynn's tips. Or do... At your own risks.

Warnings: Lots of warnings. Smoking, drinking, tattoos, needles, sex, mention of a threesome in a pantry... yeah. That's pretty it I think.

First step: Feel like a rebel.

“First rule of being a prince: rebel when you can!” Tristan Flynn stated, leaned in the bathroom door frame. Ruhn sighed, and looked away from him, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him to focus on trying to empty his bladder. “And how, exactly, is pissing with the bathroom door open supposed to feel rebellious?” Declan chuckled from behind Flynn, at least he had the decency to give his friend some privacy by waiting in the hallway. “Alright- just shut up! You’re distracting me.” Ruhn mumbled, teeth gritting and cheeks reddening from the alcohol they had inhibited earlier that night watching sunball.

That and from the embarrassing situation he threw himself in.

The newly crowned prince had made the calamitous mistake of confessing to his friend that never in his life had he dared deliberately confronting his father. Which had made Dec give him a comforting pat on his shoulder, but Flynn had nearly choked on his beer, staring goggled-eyed at Ruhn. Which had led him to make it his mission to teach Ruhn how to be, how to feel, and how to act rebellious. Because in Flynn's humble opinion as a noble himself, a Lord, to be precise, it was a fucking necessity to misbehave from time to time. Daily, in his case.

Ruhn sighed as the pressure of his lower abdomen slacked, and he evacuated in the toilet. The door wide open in his own house. Declan chuckled, and smugly said, “Good job, man,” Flynn still stared at him while the black haired Fae zipped up his pants, flushing the toilet before heading to the sink. Flynn walked closer to where Ruhn was, “Soooo? How does it feel?” He mused, and Ruhn rolled his eyes. “Dangerously rebellious.” He said under his breath.

But Flynn didn't seem to pick up on the Crowned Prince of the Valbaran Fae's sarcasm. “See? Told you so. Now you're ready for the next step.” He continued. This time, Declan walked into the bathroom too, exchanging a worried glance with Ruhn before asking the lordling carefully, “What next step, Flynn.”

—

Second step: Look like a rebel!

“That's a waste of money,” Ruhn tried to resonate with his friend. And himself. Because if he was being honest, getting a tattoo, or tattoos, was expensive. And those needles didn't look soft.

“Chicken.” Declan muttered under his breath, but loud enough so that the princelling would hear it.

“You're not even getting one!” Ruhn scoffed, his alphahole ego slightly bruised. Declan laughed, and said, “No, I'm not. Because I have the balls to tell Flynn no.” Flynn gasped and punched his friend on the shoulder. “You say this as if I'm forcing him!” He put his hands on his chest, as if Declan’s accusation had stabbed him in the heart.

“Are you not?” Declan smirked before getting back into his car, ready to leave those two dickheads at their appointment before picking them back up later. He just hoped he wouldn't have to bring back two wailing Fae males back home.

“No! I just… convinced him.” Flynn rolled his eyes as if he was stating the obvious.

“By telling him the tattooer had nice boobs?” Declan leaned over the opened window of his car, a knowing grin spreading on his lips as Flynn flipped him off. He dragged a red faced Ruhn towards the tattoo shop. “It's been nice to be your fucking chauffeur!” Declan yelled as he rolled back up the window of his car, before speeding down the street.

The bell rang as they entered the shop, and Ruhn gulped at the sight of the curved lioness shifter standing at the front desk, checking on the computer for their appointment.

“I'm sure you'll eat those for lunch man,” Flynn gestured with his chin to the massive pair of tits of the lioness shifter. She chuckled, hiding her annoyance, then started to tattoo Flynn first, since he had insisted that he and Ruhn got at least one matching tattoo. The lioness shifter greatly punished Flynn’s obscene comments by being not so gentle while she tattooed him, the needle hurting more than usual.

Ruhn gulped.

Ruhn would definitely not have those delicious looking round breasts for lunch.

And he received his punishment too, for his friend poor, so stupidly poor way of flirting with women.

—

Third and final step: Act like a rebel!

“This is going to end very badly,” Ruhn said, his eyes taking in the sight of their messed up place. People and red plastic cups were scattered all over the kitchen and living room. The floors, even the walls were sticky from the alcohol or whatever substance Ruhn didn't even want to think about. He was also pretty damn sure that Declan had broken his bed frame upstairs with his new boyfriend. Mark, Declan had said his name was. Or was it Max? Mike? Honestly, Ruhn’s brain was too fucked up to recall anything about that conversation. Only that Declan and Mark had smelled like mirthroot, alcohol, and arousal, which had distracted Ruhn to register whatever Dec was saying to him.

He just hoped it wasn't important.

“Why would it end badly?” Flynn raised his eyebrow at Ruhn. He gave the girl that was currently straddling his laps and eating his neck a small slap on the ass before rolling her off him, promising her with a charming smile to get back to her later. Once the female walked away, he scooted over Ruhn’s side of the couch, placing an arm around his shoulder. “This is your house, you do what the hell you want!”

Ruhn huffed at how ridiculous Flynn’s slurred voice sounds when he’s high and drunk. “Yeah, but technically it's my father’s house. He pays for it.” Everything his father paid for, he could take away from him, Ruhn thought. Before the culpability started to gnaw at him, Flynn raised his voice over the music. “So what, just enjoy the party and the pretty ladies, Little Prince!” He poked Ruhn's cheek, and the sound of furniture shattering from Declan's bedroom resonated right above them. “See? Even Dec is having fun. Just enjoy the party, and the pretty ladies, while you're at it! Come on, let it all out, little prince!”

Rhun’s head pivoted in his direction, he bared his teeth out and looked around to make sure no one had heard that stupid friend of his call him that. Ruhn’s formal title was probably not a secret to anyone here, but Flynn didn’t have to shout it from the rooftops. “Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, my apologies, your Royal high-mess.”

“Don’t call me that either.” Ruhn snarled his answer. Flynn only shrugged, watching Ruhn blabbering angry nonsense as he almost stumbled off the couch. As soon as Ruhn wiggled out of his seat to head towards where his stomach was calling him, the female that had been sprawled over Flynn all night settled back in her spot. The newly crowned prince weaved through the mass of partying people, every accidental touch against his body feeled like the most delectable caress, and the bright colored decorative neons all around the rooms made it feel as if he had been transported on another planet. A planet where everything felt, smelled, and tasted erratic, delightful. It was fucking sick, and godsdamned awesome.

He managed to reach his destination: the kitchen. His body felt like it was floating, and yet those doors seemed so heavy to pull. He tugged again on the walk-in pantry doors, and what waited for him inside looked a million times tastier than the waffles he had planned to devour. The set of females that were currently making out inside the pantry stared at him, stunned at first, then the three of them just bursted out laughing. “Join us?” The doe shifter asked, looking at the blond female pinned against her for her approval. The second female agreed, and both of them stared at Ruhn, waiting for his answer. They smelled good. The pantry smelled like sex, female hormones, and mixed food odors. That only made Ruhn hungrier.

Those waffles could wait, though.

“Fuck yeah.” He drawled.

Right now, he felt like he truly was a fucking rebel. Fuck his title, fuck his dad, and he’d most certainly fuck these two females. He planned on worshiping them like the goddesses they were.

[jgthirlwell]

playlist 06.29.24

Tristan Perich/Ensemble 0 Open Symmetry (Erased Tapes) Beak >>>> / Kosmik Musik (Invada) Warrington-Runcorn New Town Development Plan Your Community Hub (Castles In Space) John Luther Adams Arctic Dreams / Houses of the Wind / Waves and Particles (Cold Blue Music) Karl Bartos Off The Record (Bureau B) Drew McDowall A Thread Silvered and Trembling (Dais) Rob Aiki Aubrey Lowe Grasshopper Republic (Invada) Bad Ambulance Intel 95 (Nice Music) Carlos Giffoni Dream Walker (Ideologic Organ) Bob Vylan Humble As The Sun (Ghost Theatre 2) Lisa Lerkenfeldt Halos of Perception (Shelter Press) British Murder Boys Active Agents and House Boys (Downwards) Mono Oath (Pelagic) Wargasm UK Venom (Slowplay) Blossom Toes We Are Ever So Clean (Polydor)

Chris Stein Under A Rock (book)

[thatbiologist]

G’eth Character Name Bank

First Names

Masculine Names

Alfred, Andrew, Arlo, Arthur, Balthazar, Barry, Ben, Benedick, Bernard, Burchard, Cedric, Charibert, Crispin, Cyrill, Daegal, Derek, Digory, Drustan, Duncan, Edmund, Edwin, Elric, Evaine, Frederick, Geffery, George, Godfreed, Gregory, Guy, Harris, Harry, Horsa, Hugh, Humphrey, Iago, Jack, Jeremy, John, Kazamir, Kenric, Lawrence, Leoric, Lorik, Luke, Lynton, Lysander, Madoc, Magnus, Maukolum, Micheal, Miles, Milhouse, Mordred, Mosseus, Ori, Orvyn, Neville, Norbert, Nycolas, Paul, Percival, Randulf, Richard, Robert, Roderick, Stephen, Tennys, Theodoric, Thomas, Tristan, Tybalt, Victor, Vincent, Vortimer, Willcock, Willian, Wymond

Feminine Names

Adelin, Alice, Amelia, Beatrix, Beryl, Bogdana, Branwyne, Brigida, Catalina, Catherine, Claudia, Crystina, Deanna, Desdemona, Elaine, Elinora, Eliza, Enide, Eva, Ferelith, Fiora, Freya, Gertrude, Gregoria, Gueanor, Gwen, Gwendolyn, Hannah, Hegelina, Helen, Helga, Heloise, Henrietta, Igraine, Imogen, Jacquelyn, Jane, Jean, Jenny, Jill, Juliana, Juliet, Katie, Leela, Lettice, Lilibet, Lilith, Lucy, Luthera, Luz, Lyra, Malyna, Margherita, Marion, Meryl, Millie, Miranda, Molle, Morgana, Morgause, Nezetta, Nina, Novella, Olwen, Oriana, Oriolda, Osanna, Pamela, Petra, Philippa, Revna, Rohez, Rosalind, Rose, Sallie, Sarra, Serphina, Sif, Simona, Sophie, Thomasine, Tiffany, Ursula, Viola, Winifred, Yrsa, Ysabella, Yvaine, Zelda, Zillah

Gender-Neutral/Unisex Names

Adrian, Alex, Aiden, Arden, Ariel, Auden, Avery, Bailey, Blaire, Blake, Brett, Breslin, Caelan, Cadain, Cameron, Charlie, Dagon, Dana, Darby, Darra, Devon, Drew, Dylan, Evan, Felize, Fenix, Fernley, Finley, Glenn, Gavyn, Haskell, Hayden, Hunter, Jace, Jaime, Jesse, Jo, Kai, Kane, Karter, Kieran, Kylin, Landon, Leslie, Mallory, Marin, Meritt, Morgan, Nell, Noel, Oakley, Otzar, Paris, Peregrine, Quant, Quyn, Reagan, Remy, Robin, Rowan, Ryan, Sam, Samar, Sasha, Sloan, Stace, Tatum, Teegan, Terrin, Urbain, Vahn, Valo, Vick, Wallace, Waverly, Whitney, Yardley, Yarden, Zasha

Surnames

Surnames, Patrilineal - First Name (Patrilineal Surname)

Ace, Allaire, Appel, Arrow, Baker, Bamford, Barnard, Beckett, Berryann, Blakewood, Blanning, Bigge, Binns, Bisby, Brewer, Brickenden, Brooker, Browne, Buller, Carey, Carpenter, Carter, Cheeseman, Clarke, Cooper, Ead, Elwood, Emory, Farmer, Fish, Fisher, Fitzroy, Fletcher, Foreman, Foster, Fuller, Galahad, Gerard, Graves, Grover, Harlow, Hawkins, Hayward, Hill, Holley, Holt, Hunter, Jester, Kerr, Kirk, Leigh, MacGuffin, Maddock, Mason, Maynard, Mercer, Miller, Nash, Paige, Payne, Pernelle, Raleigh, Ryder, Scroggs, Seller, Shepard, Shore, Slater, Smith, Tanner, Taylor, Thatcher, Thorn, Tilly, Turner, Underwood, Vaughan, Walter, Webb, Wilde, Wood, Wren, Wyatt, Wynne

Surnames, Townships in G’eth - First Name of (Location)

Abelforth, Argent Keep, Barrow Springs, Barrowmere, Bedford, Brunhelm, Bumble, Casterfalls, Dunbridge, Falmore Forest, Folk’s Bounty, Frostmaid, Fulstad, Heller’s Crossing, Hertfordshire, Humberdale, Inkwater, Little Avery, Marrowton, Mistfall, Mistmire, Morcow, Necropolis-on-Sea, Otherway, Parsendale, Piddlehinton, Port Fairwind, Redcastle, Ransom, Rutherglen, Saint Crois, Tanner’s Folly, Tavern’s Point, Wilmington

Surnames, Geographical Locations in G’eth - First Name of the (Location)

Cove of Calamity, Deep Woods of Falmore, Eastern Isles, Eastern Mountains, Foothills, Frozen Peak, Lakes, Maegor Cobblestones, Northern Mountains, Southern Isle, Tangle, West Coast, Wild Wild Woods, Woods of Angarad

Surnames, Nickname - First Name the (Something) 

Bald, Bastard, Bear, Bearded, Big, Bird, Bold, Brave, Broken, Butcher, Bruiser, Careless, Caring, Charitable, Clever, Clumsy, Cold, Confessor, Coward, Crow, Cyclops, Devious, Devoted, Dog, Dragonheart, Dreamer, Elder, Faithful, Fearless, Fey, Fool, Friend, Generous, Giant, Goldheart, Goldfang, Gouty, Gracious, Great, Hag, Handsome, Hawk, Honest, Huge, Humble, Hungry, Hunter, Innocent, Ironfist, Ironside, Keeper, Kind, Lesser, Liar, Lionheart, Little, Loyal, Magical, Mercenary, Merchant, Messenger, Old, Orphan, Pale, Polite, Poet, Poor, Prodigy, Prophet, Proud, Reliable, Romantic, Rude, Selfish, Sellsword, Scab, Scholar, Shield, Shy, Singer, Sirrah, Slayer, Slug, Small, Stoneheart, Swift, Tadde, Talented, Tart, Tenacious, Timid, Tiny, Tough, Traveller, Trusted, Truthful, Viper, Wizard, Wolf, Wyrm

[angelbornaltruist]

The Ballad of the Two Travelers, Chapter Two

Chapter Two: First Steps to Friendship

Lyra was having a nightmare. She dreamed of an endless war, a pointless battle fueled by a rivalry fueled by things that should have been forgotten long ago. She dreamed of fire and lightning, clashing eternally in the heavens while the world broke. She dreamed of destruction and chaos, of decay and disease that festered and bred in the cracks of the world caused by that endless, pointless, hopeless war.

She dreamed of the cracks growing, laughing, spreading wider and wider still as hatred seeped within and drove everything further apart, a dark, tentacled miasma, reaching ever further in its will to consume all; this great evil Blight which threatened to consume the whole world.

She dreamed of the cracks already forming among her own people; the bitter, hurting wives, sisters, and daughters who in their hurt chose to hurt others, spreading their hate as they wreaked destruction upon the humans; and the few who begged for peace and were dubbed traitors by their kind. She dreamed of the great dark cavern between giantkin and humankind, a yawning abyss that would surely consume them all if they could not learn to cross it–

“L-Lyra? Lyra! Wake up, please!”

Her eyes fluttered open as she heard the anxious cries of her charge. She sat up quickly, looking around for any signs of obvious danger.

“What troubles thee, little one?” she asked after a moment. “I can sense no danger. Why dost thou cry out? Art thou hurt?”

Tristan shook his small head, and Lyra realized with a start he was quivering.

“I-I'm not hurt,” he said after a moment. “But....”

The human boy glanced at something just behind her. Lyra turned, and realized with a chill that the trees near her feet had been split and knocked over. She realized she must have kicked unconsciously in the throes of her nightmare, and had put the human boy in great danger.

“N-Nightmare?” The small voice of the human boy shook her from her disturbed thoughts. She looked down. His face held a look of such fear and apprehension, her heart nearly broke as her eyes met his.

I offer thee my most humble apologies if I have caused thee any distress. It is the duty of one such as I, who layeth claim to the role of maiden, to ensure that her charge is safe no matter what.”

She gently laid her hand in grass before him, a heavy feeling settling over her heart as he took a half-step backwards.

“Y-You don't have to apologize,” Tristan said with a smile that was clearly forced. His bright blue eyes were wide with poorly-concealed fear.

“Little one...” Lyra wanted to comfort him, to say the right words or do the right thing to reassure her little charge that she wished no harm towards him, but she could think of nothing.

She retracted her hand and laid on her side awkwardly, aware of an uneasy silence between them now. Again she wished she knew what to say, how to overcome the inevitable fear and anxiety on the small boy's part, but but her lips remained shut, and she remained silent.

It had been a little over a week since their meeting in the Misted Vales, and they'd made some progress on their journey. They were a day or so away from a human settlement Tristan had pointed out on his map, at which Lyra hoped to speak to the locals and tell them of their quest. She had hoped that Tristan's presence would inspire a call for peace, but she had to be sure that Tristan really trusted her, which had proven to be easier said than done.

Tensions were high on both their parts. Despite the lack of confrontation from either of them, there was a constant sense of disquiet between them both, a fact which maddened Lyra to no end.

It didn't help that traveling alongside a human was somewhat difficult, at least in the physical sense.

Tristan had at first tried to walk alongside Lyra as they made their way, claiming he was quick enough to keep up (he was not) and nimble enough to keep safe (he was not). Lyra, unconvinced, was therefore constantly on edge, afraid that she'd take one wrong step or careless motion and crush her little charge underfoot. She'd insisted upon carrying Tristan as they traveled, either in the palm of her hand, upon her shoulder, or within her pockets, much to the little one's chagrin. Though Tristan concealed his fear whenever they spoke, Lyra could tell he was just as nervous as she was, if not more. She could see it in the way he cast furtive glances whenever he thought she wasn't looking, and in his high-strung, stuttering manner of speech.

Lyra couldn't blame him. Tristan was barely the size of her middle finger, and was somewhat small and slight in build even for a human. To him, every little movement she made must have been terrifying, let alone the sight of her reaching for him, leaning close, or inspecting his body for wounds. Lyra herself felt nervous whenever her fingers brushed against the human's warm skin, feeling for broken bones or bruises. How easily she could bring him to harm with little more than a thought.... it frightened her just as it frightened him.

Lyra understood it would take time for her companion to get used to her, regardless of how desperately she wanted to connect with him. She would be patient, and gentle, and reassuring, as she always did, but she couldn't help but wonder if too gentle was a thing. Lyra had caught a few embarrassed looks and flushed expressions from Tristan as well as the nervous glances. She had considered that Tristan fancied her, and she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that. To be sure, she found feelings of a kind blossoming towards Tristan; his small size concealed a kindhearted, curious spirit and a recklessness that seemed rather disproportional to his height (it was a miracle Lyra had only found him with a broken arm, she thought. Only four days ago had she caught Tristan attempting to steal the eggs from a blight-touched vulture, nearly falling from a withered tree at least thrice before running towards her screaming as the monstrous bird swooped down at him). All of this was wrapped up by a cute face framed by dark curls and a smile that, even when marred by fear, melted Lyra's heart every time she saw it. She'd come across many humans in her travels before, but Tristan was the cutest by far.

It was a bit of a conundrum for Lyra. On one hand, it was completely normal for a hero and a maiden to share feelings towards each other (if Tristan held any feelings for her at all, that is). Yet it was certainly unusual for a maiden to be able to pluck up her hero between two fingers and cup him in the palm of her hand. What's more, she wasn't sure she had a crush on her little companion, more of an admiration or appreciation. How desperately she wished to get to know him, for their companionship to become a true friendship!

Yet instead they sat in silence, a bridge of unease between them and neither of them brave enough to take the steps to cross it.

Well, Lyra thought. If I am to change anything, I must take that first step.

Tristan looked so small to her; even as she lay on her side she could have rolled over and smothered him with her waist alone. But she had to try.

“Um,” she said in a quiet voice, as not to scare the boy too badly. “Tristan.... I would ask something of thee.”

The human boy glanced at her but said nothing. Lyra took this as a cue, and pressed on. “Um....well.... if we are to be companions on this journey, I would hope that there would be no tension between us. Thou countenance has been laden with fear since we first met,” she said in a gentle tone as a shadow came over Tristan's face. “I would hope to relieve thee of thy worries as we travel on–”

“Have I been being weird?”

The outburst startled Lyra a little, but she smiled when she saw the bashful expression on Tristan's face. The question confused her a bit, however.

“I-I've been trying to get used to it, I really have,” Tristan said, his voice nervous and shaky. “I know we pledged ourselves to the quest, and that I've been an awful companion, and I'm sorry, it's just so strange to have spent so much time alone on a quest everyone said was a foolish endeavor and a naive, stupid dream, and boom, suddenly someone shows up out of the blue and not only says she'd like to accompany you, but actually wants to serve as a maiden? And I know I'm starting to ramble but really, Lyra, this has been a very strange few days for me, especially because you're a – well, you're a....” Tristan suddenly paused, and Lyra noticed a slight blush come over his face.

“A giantess,” she prompted.

“Yeah,” the human said, nodding hastily. “That.”

There was something in his voice, something he was hiding, but Lyra chose not to pry. She had gotten him to open up a bit. That was promising enough.

“Do not feel ashamed, little one,” she said in a comforting voice, slowly moving her hand closer towards him. “This has been strange for me as well. The path of one who pursues hope is always fraught with uncertainty and confusion. To encounter one such as thee, a human of such young age who would willingly leave his home and all he knew, and would willingly travel alongside the age-old enemy of his people, is astonishing to me. I consider myself blessed to have encountered thee, little one.”

Slowly, gently, she brushed her index finger down his tiny back, figuring it was the best she could do for a reassuring pat. She felt Tristan's body tense up, and her heart froze. Did he still feel such fear, even now? But then, to her joy, she realized Tristan was slowly relaxing, his shoulders slumping and his breathing slowing. Their eyes met, and Lyra saw fear, yes, but also a quiet sort of hope, peaking through all fear and uncertainty.

“Blessed?” he asked quietly, and Lyra's heart sang as a tiny, shy smile came over his lips.

“Yes,” Lyra replied quietly, nodding earnestly. “Blessed, little companion of mine. So please, do not be afraid. I swore an oath, to protect thee and guide thee. I would not let any human come to harm in my presence. Especially not thyself.” She allowed herself a grin. “Thou art mine, in a sense. My companion, my partner.... my friend.”

She gently rested her index and middle fingers over the boy's shoulders, figuring it was the best she could do for a comforting embrace. A warmth spread through her as she felt Tristan reciprocate, hugging her fingers against his cheek.

“Friends,” he said after a moment. “I... well, I like the sound of that. Friends.”

“Tis a simple sort of beauty in the word, no?” Lyra agreed.

They remained like that for some time, enjoying each what little touch of warmth they shared against the coldness of the Misted Vales. Then, Lyra sat up, and gently laid her palm out before him once more.

“Come hither,” she said. “Let us embark once more.”

Her hand was at least twice as long as Tristan was tall. Lyra still marveled at how there could be an entire race of beings that were so small. Yet Tristan had hesitated once more, his eyes looking downward at the palm and fingers that dwarfed him.

There was a moment of silence, long enough that Lyra had just resolved to retract her hand, cursing herself for moving too fast – then Tristan took a step forward, meeting her gaze with a excited sort of nervousness upon his face.

His steps were light, almost imperceptible against the flesh of Lyra's palm. It almost tickled her, but that may have merely been her excitement tickling her instead of the sensation of little feet walking against her hand.

Tristan slowly bent down until he sat, neatly snuggled in her palm. She had an entire life, in the palm of her hand... and what was more, that little life had placed himself there willingly. She hadn't scooped him up hastily, she hadn't plucked him up despite his protests, no, he had taken his life, and placed it Lyra's hands – literally.

She felt a soft tapping sensation upon her palm, and looked directly at the little traveler, forcing herself from her thoughts.

“If we're to be friends,” Tristan said, now wearing a mischievous grin, “I'll have to teach you to speak like a normal person. All those thee's and thou's are giving me a headache.”

Lyra raised an eyebrow, and lightly prodded him in the ribs, but she was smiling all the same.

“We shall see, little one. I am happy to see that thou hast developed a sense of wit in learning to trust me.”

Tristan grinned. Lyra grinned back, and she felt it in her spirit, something ancient and unknowable. She couldn't explain it even if she tried. But there was something in sharing a smile with a friend, something that she would protect as fiercely as she would protect the little life she held in her hand.

[queer-ragnelle]

I am so sorry if you have answered this before, I was just wondering if you knew of a good way to get into Arthurian literature? Like… what to read first and what definitely not to read first?

Everything I can find when I search for a good list or order talks about modern retellings, but I am not sure how to get into the older ones. They are a bit hard to approach, so I am worrying that I may be going about it wrong.

I’ve just been slowly collecting different tellings from old book stores over the years, but there is so much that I am not sure where to begin..

hi there! no need to apologize, it's all very overwhelming and confusing. i've answered this question before, but have since added more literature, so i'll go in depth. :^) determining where to start really depends on what you're looking to get out of your reading experience.

lots of people recommend le morte d'arthur by sir thomas malory for an overall understanding of the basic premise without having to read the long and scary vulgate cycle. but as i said in this ask, it's not my favorite text, as it truncates the story so much it can cause confusion. yet it's the "shortest" (ie 1,000 pages lol) recounting of events from arthur's conception through his death, as well as incorporating the often-excluded story from the prose tristan, and adding character-defining elements we've all come to accept as part of the "canon" such as gareth beaumains's humble beginnings as a kitchen boy. (in the vulgate, his story is largely the same as the elder bros he tags along with. in fact, @lefresne and i discovered each of us had a transcription/translation of the vulgate which referenced two different manuscripts of the same story, but had swapped the names guerrehet/gaheriet [gareth/gaheris] and confused the hell out of us bc we had varied accounts of the same scene and were both right! scribes mistake? point is there's not a substantial differentiation between them until the post vulgate and le morte d'arthur, so reading that will give you needed context/depth!)

on the other hand, le morte d'arthur doesn't include some even later additions to the "canon" that are now famous and get incorporated into many retellings, such as sir gawain and the green knight and the wedding of sir gawain and dame ragnelle. (are these a deal breaker to comprehend a retelling? not necessarily. but despite gawain's track record with many ladies, if an author writes in a wife for him, on god, they always choose ragnelle. so that poem is a must<3)

so it's really your own judgment call! no matter what, you'll likely need to read more than one book for fuller context to understand the common "fandom" talking points and frequently adapted stories. in any case, i've just made an FAQ where you can go and figure out what stories will suit your needs. i hope this helps. have a nice day!

[wordycheeseblob]

The princes as Knights from Arthurian legends

Leon - King Arthur, brave and noble

Chevalier - Lancelot du Lac was extremely intelligent and known as the greatest fighter and swordsman of all the Knights of the Round Table

Clavis - Gawain, closest to Lancelot and because It was this rift between Lancelot and Gawain that ultimately set the stage for Mordred’s (Gilbert's) takeover of the Kingdom.

Note: at first I thought knight Meliagraunce would make a hilariously good Clavis because, oh boy, he 1. kidnapped the queen betraying Arthur 2. Lancelot was forced to come on a rescue facing an ambush and sacrificing his white horse to about 50 arrows 3. When they showed him mercy he challaned Lancelot to a duel in several days and then proceeded to drag Lancelot for a sightseeing of his castle 4. Betrayed him AGAIN when Lancelot fell in a trap pit, because of course 6. Waited for him on the day of the duel with Arthur as a witness (Lancelot showed up which Meliagraunce didn't expect) but then I thought Meliagraunce made a better "lord Flandre"

Yves - sir Gareth (Beaumains) he comes from noble blood, but would rather be known for his actions than for his illustrious lineage. He is said to be very good looking or "the goodliest man I ever say" as Arthur Leon put it. He's mild mannered and polite no matter how harshly others treated him because of his dubious lineage. Lancelot Chevalier and Gawain Clavis looked after him in their own ways and Gareth looked up to Lancelot Chevalier a lot. He was also a kitchen page for a year.

Jin - sir Bedivere, loyal to Arthur til the end.

Nokto - Agravain mostly because "Agravain is known for this sharp tongue and at times his ungentlemanly-like conduct. In some instances, he is even portrayed as being malicious and villainous" but maybe Agravain should be Clavis or Silvio because he helped in Mordred's (Gilbert's) insidious plot? Then idk maybe Tristan would make a good Nokto substitute because of his knowledge in arts and his romance with Isolde, still not sure about this one. The only fact stopping me is Agravain is Gaheri' (Licht) brother while Tristan is not.

Licht - sir Gaheris, often acted as Gawain's voice of consciousness and in one version beheaded his own mother (but that's another story)

Luke - Percival, came from humble beginnings raised by his mother. He has a sister too. He's sometimes portrayed as simple and almost foolish but his natural prowess lead him to Arthur's court.

Sariel - Merlin, no explanation needed

Keith - sir Kay, also known by his epithet, the Tall. Also "At times, Sir Kay was unpredictable and had a cruel and violent temper (alter Keith), but he was Arthur’s (Leon's) guardian and one of his most faithful companions.

Gilbert - Mordred. Come on, even the name is evil. Set up the stage for King Arthur's downfall by planting the seed of jealous feelings in Arthur of the closeness of his best knight, Lancelot (Cheva), and the Queen.

Emma - Guinevere, the queen, fairest of them all. Was wrongly accused of treason (twice) and sentenced to burn. Many a times did Lancelot rescue her, the last time accidentally killing Gaheris(Licht) and Gareth (Yves) because they were in the crowd and whisked Guinevere(Emma) away to the castle of Joyous Gard till the Kings anger was past. Lady of the water is an alternative