#trinity smaht

[lovelandfrogman]

blasetober day 7: lorcan smaht (+trinity smaht!!)

requested by @charaznablescanontoyota, specifically this irm!! it is SUCH a good concept omg.. appeals to me in particular (loves when ppl are different ppl but also the same person)

[wooshofficial]

lorcan and brisket are back and im absolutely vibrating about it. my funny jock lesbians are BOTH HERE. lorcan is ON BRISKIE'S FORMER TEAM. this is like double the fun for me now bc i wrote a bunch of lorcan irms during the siesta and am now thinking abt them meeting brisket as well

OH YEAH THE BRISKET LORCAN SHIP YEAHHHHH

Deadass I forgot Brisket was a mint I see them only as a garage because that’s when I learned about them. But yes there is soooo much there. Brisket is also BACK ON THE GARAGES WAIT HOLD ON this is peak content wow

[thebaltimorecrab]

Round 3 notable moments & Round 4 matches

Notable Round 3 moments:

First and foremost, because I was obsessing over this: Juke lost against Declan by 9% (Juke got 45.5%, Declan got 54.5%). I stg I checked this match every couple of hours, and it was INTENSE. Juke started out winning (because there were, like, two votes, lol), then Declan, then Juke, etc etc etc until Declan won.

The closest match was Luis Acevedo vs. Nagomi McDaniel, with a difference of 4.4%. Luis got 47.8% of the vote, and Nagomi got 52.2% of the vote.

The second closest match was Forrest Best vs. Finn James, which was DEFINITELY the most intense. Lots of propaganda for those guys. In the end, Forrest Best won with 52.7% of the vote. Finn James got 47.3%.

Logan Horseman vs. Pedro Davids had the biggest difference between votes, with Logan getting 18.8% of the vote, and Pedro getting 81.3%

The biggest upset was Axel Campbell vs. Bentley Finnegan. Axel got 45% and Bentley got 55%. Axel was seeded as 68 out of 90, while Bentley was seeded at 36. HOWEVER, Bentley was added to the popularity poll a few hours after it was posted, because for some reason, Bentley and Nico were not on the list of Every Baltimore Crabs Player Ever.

Also, I was right: Trinity beat Flattery's ass. In fact, the only new epoch Crab left in this bracket is Declan, who was the highest seed, at 90.

Just realized that I never said how many rounds there will be: There's 7 rounds total, including semi-finals and finals.

Now, for the matches! They're below the cut, and I'll add links after the polls are posted. They'll be scheduled to post around 1:30 pm tomorrow (CST).

Combs Duende vs. Nagomi McDaniel

Silvaire Roadhouse vs. Pedro Davids

Bentley Finnegan vs. Brock Forbes

Evelton "Eviltwin" "Eve" McBlase II vs. Valentine Games

Trinity Smaht vs. Adalberto Tosser

Declan Suzanne vs. Sutton Dreamy

Lorcan Smaht vs. Forrest Best

Jon Halifax vs. Kennedy Loser

[glassgob]

i’m a knockout, anesthesia

[ID: Digital Illustration of Trinity Smaht from the video game Blaseball. Trinity is a Black femme with carcinized features resembling boxer crabs. Boxer crab patterning is visible on aer face, stomach, and legs. Aer hair resembles the sea anemones boxer crabs hold in their claws. Ae is wearing a NASCAR-inspired leotard covered in patches of aer former and current teams. End ID.]

[charaznablescanontoyota]

doing some 5 minute doodle requests for the crabs on our new forum

[crowtwink]

Homecoming (WIP)

Summary: Jacoby Podcast attempts to come to terms with the Smaht Siblings and time away from Baltimore Characters: Jacoby Podcast (jhe/jhur), Lorcan Smaht (ey/em), Trinity Smaht (ae/aer) Rating: T (references to alcohol and Blaseball-typical trauma) Notes: A little unpolished fic for Blaseball WIP Amnesty. I wrote this back in... the siesta after season 17 I think? It’s set during season 17 anyway. I meant to go back and polish it up to publishable standards, but Blaseball moved on, players changed teams, and that never happened. Thanks to the creators of @blaseballwipamnesty for giving me an excuse to publish it in it’s current state, because I do love a lot of things I wrote here. --

Lorcan is currently holding two margaritas, because ey are a reasonable person who doesn’t try to hold more drinks than ey have hands, Trin.

The fact that ey’re holding both drinks in the same hand because ey’ve been pitching with the other is irrelevant.

The aforementioned sibling is showing off aer sweet new gloves to anyone on either team who makes the mistake of not avoiding eye contact. It’s hilarious watching Worms players try to politely exit conversation with the overly friendly and completely tactless batter who managed to score half the runs against them this past game.

As such, Lorcan can be forgiven for not noticing Jacoby Podcast approaching until the wiry little pitcher is standing right next to em. Jhe’s scowling – Lorcan has no clue why because yeah Jacoby’s team might have lost this last game, but jhe pitched a hell of a game against them two days ago.

“Podcast!” Lorcan greets jhur. “Up high!”

See, it’s a good thing ey’s holding both margaritas in one hand.

Jacoby eyes the attempted high five with a suspicious look. Belatedly, Lorcan remembers that jhe’s kinda new at the whole “being human” thing.

“Trin!” ey shouts, “Up high!”

Trinity bolts across the field – leaving a relieved-looking Parker Meng suddenly free – to slam aer hand against Lorcan’s with the force of a bullet train.

“See? That’s a high five!”

“I know what a high five is, Smaht,” Jacoby tells em icily.

“Lorc, you’re hogging the drinks,” Trinity stage whispers.

“Oh! Duh!” Deftly, Lorcan plops one of eir drinks into the hands of a very confused Jacoby. “Help yourself! I dunno what’s in these, but they make me feel amazing!”

Jacoby still looks suspicious, but jhe does drink from the ridiculous curly straw so Lorcan counts it as a win.

“So how’s Ohio treating you?” Trin asks, trying to find the best angle for a selfie with aer new gloves.

“It’s fine. Great.”

“Great, huh? They gonna steal you from us?” Lorcan asks.

“Already happened.”

“Yeah, but not, like, permanently. You’re coming back in a season or so, right?” Trinity remarks. “You know the guys want you back.”

Jacoby’s eyes dart to the rest of the Crabs. Jhe looks homesick, Lorcan thinks.

“Look, if you like Ohio that much, no one will judge you if you stay. Or if you want to go gallivanting around the rest of the league. But if you do come back, I look forward to playing with you.”

Trin ruffles eir hair, and Lorcan briefly sees red at the reminder that eir sibling is so ungodly tall.

“When did my baby sib get so wise?” ae croons.

“You’re three minutes older than me, Trin.”

“Tiny baby. So smol. Infant.”

Lorcan laughs and aims a friendly punch at aer shoulder. Ae ducks out of the way and catches em in a headlock.

Lorcan shrieks and almost spills eir drink.

In the excitement, neither sibling notices Jacoby slipping away.

--

The Smahts aren’t a part of the Baltimore Jacoby remembers. The Crabs jhe knew had been sullen and angry, hurting from the scars of their failed fight against the Shelled one and their time spent Up. Even when Logan had joined them for a season, he’d never quite broke through that prickly exterior. But Kennedy doesn’t flinch at the first pitch anymore, even if she seems to be joined by literal ghosts more often than not. Pedro has returned from their times in Elsewhere with a gleam in his eyes that Jacoby doesn’t remember. Bertie catches a ball Lorcan aims at him with a grin instead of barely concealed fear.

Baltimore’s changed in the time Jacoby’s been gone.

[magicicapra]

CHORBY INCINERATED FIRST GAME LOL

[thebaltimorecrab]

I'll have to stop doing player info, because I am actually a lot busier & more burnt out than previously thought. Feel free to look through the Wiki.

[thebaltimorecrab]

Round 2 notable moments + Round 3 matches (with links)

Before I get to notable moments, I'd like to take a second to recognize some of our most beloved contestants: Bentley Finnegan, Kaz Fiasco, Bevan Underbuck, and Finn James. Throughout both rounds, they have received the most propaganda (or the most memorable propaganda). Thank you to the three people who are consistently posting propaganda for these guys. And thank you to those posting propaganda for the players who are not on this list!

Now, notable Round 2 moments:

There were no major upsets this round. In fact, most of the rounds ended like I expected them to, mostly because a lot of the unlored shadows were included in this round.

Although there were no real upsets, Flattery Strewnberry beating Holden Stanton was unexpected, especially since the only other new epoch Crabs players that have made it to Round 3 are well known: Tiera Wigdoubt, Declan Suzanne, and Juke Gnocchi (perhaps not well-known outside of the Crabs, though). I'm absolutely thrilled, because Flattery is one of my little guys. However, she's gonna get her ass kicked this round. She's up against Trinity Smaht.

The closest call was Nico Sigh vs. Robbins Schmidt. Nico won 46.7% of the vote, while Robbins won 53.3%

There were several polls where one player got 100% of the vote. Combs D got 100% of the vote against Alexandria Hess, Parker Parra got 100% against Uncle Plasma II, Sutton Dreamy got 100% against James Mora II, Lorcan Smaht got 100% against Javier Howe, Finn James got 100% against Vaquita Magno, and Kennedy Loser got 100% against Uncle Plasma III.

And, of course, Round 3 matches are below the cut. Links will be added sometime after the polls are posted. The polls are scheduled to be posted around 1:30 pm CST. This post is also scheduled! I may not be online when you are reading this :P

Now that a lot of the lesser-known characters have been eliminated, it's going to be much more interesting:

Combs Duende vs. PolkaDot Patterson

Luis Acevedo vs. Nagomi McDaniel

Fish Summer vs. Silvaire Roadhouse

Logan Horseman vs. Pedro Davids

Axel Campbell vs. Bentley Finnegan

Parker Parra vs. Brock Forbes

Evelton McBlase II vs. Tiera Wigdoubt

Kaz Fiasco vs. Valentine Games

Trinity Smaht vs. Flattery Strewnberry

Juke Gnocchi vs. Declan Suzanne (GOING INSANE OVER THIS ONE. THESE R MY GUYS :( HOW DARE I PIT TWO BAD BITCHES AGAINST EACH OTHER)

Bevan Underbuck vs. Adalberto Tosser

Sutton Dreamy vs. Oliver Notarobot

Lorcan Smaht vs. Grapefruit Walnut

Forrest Best vs. Finn James

Jon Halifax vs. Robbins Schmidt

Brisket Friendo vs. Kennedy Loser

[thebaltimorecrab]

ANNOUNCEMENT + Round 1 notable moments, and the matches for Round 2

HEY! If you reblog a post with propaganda, please let me know if you want me to copy and paste that propaganda into any other matches including that player. For example: if you wrote a post encouraging people to vote for Jon Halifax, let me know if you would like for me to include your statements in Halifax's next match.

If you would like to submit propaganda, you can do so via asks, tagging me, reblogging a specific poll, etc.

I will try to ask people individually, but that's a lot of work and I've already got quite a bit on my plate, aside from the brackets.

Now, notable moments (in my opinion):

Tillman Henderson got out in the first round, proving there is a God and he is merciful. Tillman lost to Logan Horseman.

I think (I'm like 95% sure) that Oliver Notarobot beating Reese Clark was the biggest upset so far. On a scale of 1-90, with 1 being least likely to win and 90 being the opposite, Oliver was 42 and Reese was 87.

Kaz Fiasco beat Chorby Soul, which was probably the match with the most propaganda (including both actual posts and tags that say "VOTE X")

Juke Gnocchi, an incin replacement we got in Season 2, got farther than Parker MacMillan did. Considering that they're roommates/enemies, this is hilarious to me.

Brisket Friendo vs. Tot Fox was the closest match, with Brisket at 50.8% and Tot at 49.2%

Meanwhile, Monique Flowchart vs. Silvaire Roadhouse had the biggest difference between votes, with Monique at 11.1% and Silvaire at 88.9%

Now, here's the round two matches. LINKS WILL BE ADDED AFTER THE POLLS ARE POSTED. The polls are currently scheduled to post at 1:30 pm on the 15th, but who knows when I'll be able to sit down and add links.

Alexandria Hess vs. Combs Duende

Amos Melon vs. PolkaDot Patterson

Grit Watson vs. Luis Acevedo

Ilhan Latch vs. Nagomi McDaniel

Joyner Rugrat vs. Fish Summer

Jacoby Podcast vs. Silvaire Roadhouse

Avery Cascabel vs. Logan Horseman

Herring Winfield vs. Pedro Davids

Matheo Tanaka vs. Axel Campbell

Chorby Soul III vs. Bentley Finnegan

Uncle Plasma II vs. Parker Parra

Chae DeShields vs. Brock Forbes

Miguel Peterson vs. Evelton McBlase II

Lenjamin Lin vs. Tiera Wigdoubt

Aldon Cashmoney IV vs. Kaz Fiasco

New Megan Ito II vs. Valentine Games

Elijah Glover vs. Trinity Smaht

Holden Stanton vs. Flattery Strewnberry

Conner Haley vs. Bevan Underbuck

Scruffs Sunkcost vs. Adalberto Tosser

Thomas Marsh vs. Juke Gnocchi

Star Ali vs. Declan Suzanne

James Mora II vs. Sutton Dreamy

Rosa Holloway vs. Oliver Notarobot

Javier Howe vs. Lorcan Smaht

Grapefruit Walnut vs. Michelle Sportsman

Özlem Suttner vs. Forrest Best

Vaquita Magno vs. Finn James

Pierre Haley vs. Jon Halifax

Nico Sigh vs. Robbins Schmidt

Samothes Dembélé vs. Brisket Friendo

Uncle Plasma III vs. Kennedy Loser

[thebaltimorecrab]

Adalberto propaganda

[thebaltimorecrab]

Trinity Smaht propaganda: (in the replies) "I did a necromancy to bring York Silk back as a zombie for the crabs and he didn't even kill a single person. Smaht gets results." x

No Flattery Strewnberry propaganda, because I feel like I've said enough of my opinions, and nobody else submitted any.

[thebaltimorecrab]

If Elijah's name seems unfamiliar to you, that's because they were born in the Shadows, and have never seen active play.

[thebaltimorecrab]

"in half an hour" lol. lmfao.

anyway, here's the round one polls:

Combs Duende vs. Yusef Fenestrate

Alston Cerveza vs. Luis Acevedo

Joshua Watson vs. Nagomi McDaniel

Charlatan Seabright vs. Fish Summer

Monique Flowchart vs. Silvaire Roadhouse

Logan Horseman vs. Tillman Henderson

Parker Meng vs. Pedro Davids

Alyssa Harrell vs. Axel Campbell

Baldwin Breadwinner vs. Parker Parra

Ramirez Winters vs. Brock Forbes

Evelton McBlase II vs. Jessica Telephone

Chorby Soul vs. Kaz Fiasco

Squid Galvanic vs. Valentine Games

York Silk vs. Trinity Smaht

Bevan Underbuck vs. Montgomery Bullock

Avila Guzman vs. Adalberto Tosser

Gabriel Griffith vs. Juke Gnocchi

Axel Trololol vs. Declan Suzanne

Winnie Hess vs. Sutton Dreamy

Oliver Notarobot vs. Reese Clark

Lorcan Smaht vs. Nora Perez

Enid Marlow vs. Forrest Best

Tiara Loveless vs. Finn James

Jon Halifax vs. Parker MacMillan

Brisket Friendo vs. Tot Fox

Fran Beans vs. Kennedy Loser

Tournament Bracket

This is a pretty long post, because there are 90 players in this bracket. Bracket pics are below the cut, polls will start soon (hopefully in, like, half an hour). I will reblog this post with links once they're all posted :)

[charaznablescanontoyota]

jess telephone for characters!!!

favorite thing about them: remember when jess was a crab for a season. that was wild. it was especially funny because alt jess wasn't supposed to be a very good player and the crabs didn't want to like her but she played really well with the team and we started to get attached

least favorite thing about them: ??? i don't know i don't have a lot of strong opinions on jess. similarly to pedro i guess i just wish she could take a nap for a little while. stick her in the shadows for a season

favorite line: it was pretty funny that everyone including the crabs were certain that she was gonna get vaulted and she never did

brOTP: jess and seb! i think they are both kind of dumb jocks and they feed into each others' silliness when they're in the same room together. also jess and lorcan, see below

OTP: i don't think i actively ship jess with anybody but i've seen some compelling cases. sam of crabitat fame made me think deeply about jess and silvaire getting together for a bit to which i say hmmmmm

nOTP: i have no idea who people ship jess with these days i am so sorry

random headcanon: jess being lorcan and trinity smaht's stepmom is so fucking funny to me i will never let smahtphones go as a concept i think it's incredible. i also think that since lorcan and trinity weren't really old enough to grasp the day x stuff when it happened and weren't alive for most of discipline era they tend to treat jess like she's just. a person. and she genuinely enjoys spending time with them and being a regular annoying stepmom for a bit

unpopular opinion: see 'stick her in the shadows for a season' above probably

song i associate with them: hand to phone (thanks, manic's walkup song playlist!)

favorite picture of them: extremely fond of this comic