#trigger warning smoking

[theheartlandsblog]

my original character adrik grigory with a papirosa, aged 19 in the year 1876, before he quit smoking and before he grew his hair out. 🕒🕤

adrik makes his appearance in my RDR2 canon divergence fanfiction, HOMEWARD. pencil work. 29 october 2023.

[sinsdaycorp]

Every time I see I “stop doing {Addictive thing}” I immediately want to go and do said thing. Not out of spite or annoyance of being told what to do, but bc that addiction I have is so strong and just saying the word of said thing makes me want it.

My mother texting me about vaping equaling the nicotine count of 400 cigs a week made me care even less about quitting. It’s not that I don’t want to quit, I have tried, I stopped everything for almost a year, but damn it, I just don’t care about my wellbeing enough to stop again.

[zivazivc]

the morning (afternoon?) after this messy stunt. Floyd got off too easy in my opinion, but it's hard for Les to stay mad at him when he makes those sad pouting faces... 🤦

If you think Floyd's being really dumb at the start of this comic before getting a reality check, you have to take into account that he's madly lovesick and was feeling very smug atm; he's also a 15yo pop troll who thinks making out with someone means they're together now; and he assumed Les's sour mood was entirely the result of a nasty hangover...

P.S. They forgot about Hed lol (I almost forgot about him too, drew him just before posting lmao)

[tristessstuff]

I want to die from starvation with the taste of cigarettes

[st4rvingt0d34th]

"I wanna starve, but I can't with all the food cravings... 😞"

Girl, just light a cigarette??

[ro-bottt]

like father like son (but karli does it better)

[youcanbethebossdaddyyyxx]

hii so im tired of being fat and having an ed (binge) so pleaseee any suggestions on how to stop eating? or like if i eat, how can i purge and how much time after eating? please help me, i can stop food craving by smoking or drinking coffee, but please suggestions on what i mentioned before? thanks xo 🎀💗

[somelazyassartist]

Thinkin' about stuff after a rough day at work

[krikeymate]

Double whammy of the Sam with a 10 year age difference having a conniption cause Tara is trying to go around sleeping with random guys

Sam was NOT prepared for handling a teenager, let alone a teenager with PTSD. She's barely feels like an adult herself, and only two years after finally getting her mother out of their lives, her little sister is nearly killed, all because of her.

Tara's 14 (&3/4) when Amber and Ritchie try to kill her in this AU, so let's not try and make that too 😬... hmm, got it.

In the aftermath, she does not cope well.

Tara's always had moments where she's chafed against Sam's authority, where she's been distant, especially since she became her legal guardian, but nothing like this. Sometimes it feels like Amber had managed to kill Tara after all, and she's left trying to care for a ghost. Sam wishes she could kill her all over again... and again, and again, for the rest of eternity, for the anguish she's caused her girl.

The attack at the hospital and again at Amber's only makes her injuries worse. In the end, it takes her leg 4 months to heal, and she was confined to the bed full-time for a month, with another month of being confined mostly to her bed. Needless to say, she doesn't cope well. Tara's not a baby anymore, and she can't stand to be coddled, can't stand the reminder that she isn't like the other girls in her class. She can't stand the fact she can't even dress and undress herself in this state. Can't stand to think of Amber.

And the pain, it's constant, it's everywhere, in her body, in her heart, in her head. The only time she's somewhat happy these days is under the influence of the painkillers that leave her floating between awake and asleep, where everything is fine and good. Sam can't bear to see her sister in this state, drugged up and absent. It's the only time she sees her sister smile anymore, and it hurts. But it's the only thing that keeps her going, and Tara's constantly in pain, so she keeps refilling the prescription. Later, she'll wish she was stronger, she'll wish she had listened to the part of her that said something was off. But Sam's never listening to herself, to anyone, over her sister.

Tara takes painkillers long after she needs them, and eventually, they stop providing the void she's always searching for. So she finds other options. Tara's newly 17 and lying beneath some guy, drugged out of her mind, in the basement of someone's house. They'd been making out for what felt like hours, when she felt his hand slip down her trousers, and then her sister had stormed into the room, throwing fists. What happens after that is as foggy as what came before that.

They move to New York.

Apparently, Sam is best friends with Gale fucking Weathers these days, because Sam gets a job with her, and that job apparently comes with an apartment. Tara finishes her school career online, in the corner of a studio or in a dressing room or the back of a news van, wherever Sam or Gale go, Tara is stuck being dragged around by them. She knows why. She's not stupid. She kind of hates Sam for it. She hates herself more for thinking such a thing, for being so weak.

She still has her vices, despite it all Sam never took her privacy from her. So Tara still has seedy chats and pictures and videos to distract herself with when she's feeling empty. It feels good to be loved, adored, for a little while. She can't bear to expose the emptiness inside of her to Sam, can't bring herself to talk about what happened to the therapists, to talk about Amber. Or the things she said, the things she did.

She's nearly 18 when they're attacked again. Ethan, Sam's clumsy assistant with the sweet smile and who always had a kind word for Tara, and their neighbour, Quinn, who liked variety in her men. Some of those men had little brothers she would introduce to Tara. They're Ritchie's family, and they want revenge.

Tara begins sleeping around as a coping mechanism after that. She won't go back to the drinking, and the drugs, she doesn't want to do that to Sam again. Her sister already has so much going on, she doesn't want to add to that. It doesn't even occur to her how much this would hurt her as well.

[fisheadz]

More little tidbits and stuff for the In Sound Mind everyone lives au, coz while the brainrot has moved over a little to make room for my budding Bioshock hyperfixation, the brainrot is still there. Waiting. Watching…

• Allen either listens to soft pop or heavy metal. There is no in between. The only exception is sea shanties, solely because he finds it ironic.

• Rosemary gets a bunch of goldfish, and feels nervous leaving the house because what if they need her for something? It’s not their fault they’re dependent on her!

^ Desmond has offered to have an unofficial therapy session or two with her, because lord does she need it, but she politely refuses every time.

• Lucas finds random things in the forest, like funky sticks or oddly colored leaves, and brings them home with him to show his friends next time they visit. He’s especially excited to show Desmond his findings. This has not gone unnoticed by the others.

^ Similarly, Allen will collect cool rocks and seashells to give to the others. Everyone has random shells and rocks at home, and none of them are complaining.

• Virginia has made little plushies of all of her friends. She even made one of Tonia, for Desmond. He almost cried and she freaked out a little.

• Max takes Virginia on a fishing trip once, after hearing that she never fished before. She caught a big one, and he refuses to admit that he’s jealous, since he didn’t catch any.

• Lucas will show up unannounced at any time. Once he almost got clobbered by Allen, after walking into his house without warning. It’s an old habit of his.

• Rosemary is usually pretty quiet, unless you get her going about something she’s passionate about, like goldfish. She and Desmond often chat for hours at a time about anything that comes up. Lucas tries to keep up, but is content with just listening.

• Lucas decides to teach everyone how to shoot, just in case. Max and Desmond are great at it, and Allen and Rosemary know the basics. Virginia is a fast learner. Dave joins them once, and nearly blows his own head off by accident. He is no longer allowed to join.

• Sometimes one or a couple of the others will stay the night at Allen’s, so he doesn’t get lonely while working the lighthouse. He never says it out loud, but he’s very grateful that he isn’t alone, especially after "you know what", as he dubs it.

• The others are concerned about Max’s poor eating habits, so they make sure to leave him a bunch of leftovers whenever they can. Max knows, since they aren’t very subtle about it, but he appreciates it nonetheless.

• Occasionally, when they’re feeling up for it, some of them get together to smoke a joint or two. Allen doesn’t do it often for personal reasons, and Virginia doesn’t like the feeling, so she usually just sits it out, but sometimes the others spend a couple hours smoking in Lucas’ van.

• Allen suggests that Desmond adopt a cat, and he doesn’t really want to because, one, it felt like he was replacing Tonia, and two, Tonia’s situation was special. After a while though, he decides to bite the bullet and adopt a little tabby cat that he names Aster. He never explains why.

^ Tonia (if she’s there in the CU) is very amused by this.

• Rosemary is a theatre nerd, and it shows.

That’s all for tonight (this morning, actually, it’s 2am). I got a little lazy at the end, sorry. I love these sad people (and cat).

As a side note, I got a rat living in the wall next to my bed, and she’s so annoying istg. Her names Brenda and she hates me and I hate her too.

[somelazyassartist]

Decided to redraw an old nameless Ghaele OC and give them a bit more love :] decided to name them Vicerta <3

[luk4sw4sh3r3]

There once was a girl who got made of for eating.

Once she got home, she looked at herself and decided to stop eating so much.

As she grew up, she was putting on weight even though she was only eating one meal a day, so she stopped eating that full meal, saying she "felt sick".

She wasnt exactly lying, the thought of food made her feel sick.

This went on for years.

One day in year 7 she told her mum that she was learning about eating disorders.

Her mum commented on how she was underweight, that she could see her bones, and she poked fun of her, saying she probably had an eating disorder herself, and if she did she would be livid.

The girl wished her mum could see it through her eyes, the girl hated herself.

She had cuts on her legs, there was barely any skin left, and her arms too.

She saw herself with more skin than she had.

She wore baggy clothes to hide everything wrong with her, yet people still commented on her.

Couldnt they see that she needed help?

She found comfort in nicotine when all she really needed was to cry in someones arms and for them to tell her that everything was alright.

The nicotine made it easier to starve herself, and it was too late to make a change now. She was far too deep, too far gone.

She continued eating less and left deeper scars than before. They were the only things she knew how to control.

The girl, now 12, told herself that she was going to try and gain weight. Sonce she started starving herself, her family was making fun of her for being "too skinny".

She broke down in tears that night.

She couldnt unsee how big she was.

She felt fat.

She saw fat.

She was made fun of ffor wearing baggy clothes, so she stopped wearing them. Soon enough she was wearing mearly a crop top and jeans.

She realised that she was only worth something if she sexualised herself.

So thats what she did.

She kept starving.

She kept smoking.

She kept cutting.

Its been two years, shes almost 15 now. She hasnt kicked any of the habits she picked up when she was 11, and younger. No-one and nothing could stop her.

That was her.

That was me.

That IS me.