#trig is hard until it isn't

[wiria-lae]

Riddle and Idia would both be good at math. Azul too.

Riddle's the guy who solves things mostly in his head and he has all the rules and definitions memorized. He seems like the type of student who studies ahead of the material, and asks questions immediately when he doesn't understand something. Would be able to do multi-linear calculus problems within a week of presenting him a textbook.

Idia punches numbers and functions into his calculator and code until it spits out a reasonable value. Less of a math guy and more of a computer science guy, but it seems kind of hard to be cracked and comp sci and then trash at math... he's not like, tryharding calculus, but he should definitely be able to tell you a lot about probability and algebra at least.

Ortho is made of math (code) and human ingenuity and a ton of copium, and he has access to the internet pre-installed, so by default I'm not thinking about him. It's cheating if Idia just looks up everything.

Azul is like. Statistics. Whatever math is good for economics and building models and predictions for business and all that.

Everyone else can suffer. Especially Deuce. Poor Deuce. That boy has no clue what trigonometry is, and for his sake, I hope he never has to know.

If there is anything to suggest otherwise in the game... don't remember, or haven't seen it. My eyes are facing the Sun.

[sunnydust2003]

Vent:

It's official

I'm scared of her rn because since i deleted my DA account, she won't leave me alone.

She's still stalk and harassing me despissd facts, i left this god awful website.

She's calls me like a pedo, zoophilia, child murder and etc with no proof and took out of context.

Like explame this as possible i am:

1. Pedo stuff:

The reason why she's call me a pedo because i favourite parody of Cuties which was make funny of pedo which i favourite because i like people make fun of this type people who deserve that from piece of shit but i regrett favourite this art.

And one thing, i hate Cuties because you know why.

I'm glad it's got remove from good.

2. Zoophilia:

She's calls me a Zoophilia just because i comment of one my friends art of "Oh No, He's so Hot" gif of Squidward from picture of Donald being muscular (it's not fetish art btw) and she's believe i have crush on Donald which i don't have actually crush on Donald Duck.

Do i like Donald Duck, yes but do you have crush on Donald.

The answer is fuck no.

Donald isn't my fictional crush.

3. Shipping Ren and Stimpy.

She's believe i ship Ren and Stimpy just because of i comment one of person which i ask person where she's start ship Ren and Stimpy because i like heard when they start liles ship or anything.

Beside i don't ship Ren and Stimpy because i see them as friends and nothing else more.

4. She's hates when someone favorite artwork just because they don't like.

She's blame me of i favourite Spongebob x Vocaloid: Lust because she doesn't like song which okay fine but why you blame me from this.

Oh yeah because he's was prevent to female or some shit which btw i never actually listen to Lust or anything because i'm not interest on song.

Only i favourite because artwork was amazing and that's why favourite art in first place.

5. She's blame me over i ship something.

She's blame me over i made status about i cringe myself when i used ship Elsa and Selena Gomez just because i thought it's was adorable.

Keep mind, i was minor back the day, i didn't have brain development until i get olded and realized:

What the fuck is wrong with me.

Idk what's wrong with my younger self when ship this two.

I'm glad i stop ship this two because it's was weird af.

6. She's calls me a child murder.

Yup she's calls me a child murder because of i was hyper about FNAF movie and says i'm only watch movie because i want see kids get killed which wtf are you talk about?!

I'm not watch movie because kids get killed, i'm watch this movie because of how adoption of game it's was.

And i'm glad they didn't show kids get killed in movie because last time i have experince with kids get killed is was hard to watch.

7. She's rant about how i so called treat my friends shit.

Now yes, this was true i was asshole about my friends about whole of "Freddy hates his friends" but i was only mad at this because my friends is remind me of toxic cartoon community and i don't want my friends become one of them but since i watch AOSTH and Scratch, Grounxed and Coconuts are become my new favorite characters, i realized i was asshole towards my friends and i apologie to him from real this time and he's accept this apologie.

This now, we talks about Freddy fight Peck or other his interest, hell i even give him a idea and drawing based of i comment on this because i want make him a happy and i love make friends a happy.

But what really pissed me off is she's lying about me so called sent my whiteknight to my friends which it's was bullshit because i don't even have whiteknight and don't want harassing my friends over this.

I may was asshole but at least i apologie about my action and i want improve myself.

She's just lying herself with no proof of this.

8. Finally she's get trigged over i made one meme of Lincoln get kick out which was meant be make fun of toxic TLH fanbase of how overprotective Lincoln when Lincoln is no better.

Now if you see Such No Luck, i made meme this because i want pissed TLH fans off because how over sentisive about this when Lincoln is no better because he's was lying about he's got bad luck just want have free time when he's could tells his family honest.

Before you say, no i'm not defense Lynn Jr and facts, both of them are unlikable.

So yeah.

9. She's blame me over the facts, voice actor of Abby (Back at the Barnyard) is anti vaxxer and she's say i should proud of her because she's so called cares her children which i have question:

If she's so called cares her child, she shouldn't realized maybe i should protect my kids from infection but nope, she doesn't give a fuck about her children and forced on people who tells to wear mask is canceled culture which prove me a point, she doesn't care from children.

And i want talks about her double stands ass because i like how she's called me a pedo when she's also defense Rev Says Desu who is lolicon and she's defense him by saying:

"Oh he's not going after a real kids, they are just fictional characters" which is gross af.

And thing is she favourite of My Melody and Kuromi from Sanrio x Yu-Gi-Oh pillow sexual which remind me of:

"My Melody and Kuromi are underage" which is red flags because how she support this type shit.

So remember i tell you about she's thinks calling me a child murder just because i was hyper about FNAF movie.

About that, she's also double stands because she's calling me a child murder over FNAF movie but yet, she's have favourite FNAF on her DA.

Hey are you same person telling me about i'm so called support child murder just because of one movie but yet, you favourite FNAF despised facts, you just said to me i support child murder but i guess, she's become stupid af and acting like she's a innocent person.

Yeah fuck this bullshit.

So yeah, i'm done with this shit.

It's time to move on from good.

So yeah, if you reading this:

Please leave me the fuck alone, i don't want have deal with you or anything.

I just want get free from stalker and harassing i got from you.

So please leave the internet and get some seriously help.

[fan-art-ic]

I still can't believe Rick did that to Percy that author really kicked the shit out of his oc not even letting him get a full school year of no war drama fucking his life over at age 16. Percy is only fucking 17! He would be learning about trig and failing to read a shakespeare classic in class, if he ever could be in class!!!!! I started this post to re write the hoo events let me re route

This actually got super long so ha! So glad mobile had read mores now

So what I think would have been great is if Rick really had to bring in a Roman camp and all that shit then I would have him START at the Roman camp! The first book should open with Leo, because he's already favored by Hera cuz she babysat him, having a demigod dream around the last day and day after of the titan war, because we are going to start RIGHT AFTER

Leo, however, is missing his memories and is on a bus with Piper, who is a daughter of VENUS (isn't the whole thing with, um not Remus and Romulus but Adonis right? He was a founder of Rome right and a son of Venus? It just works) and the bus is attacked by monsters. Hedge is a faun, he's Roman, and basically calls for back-up, the closest Roman patrol shows up but not before Leo has to fight monsters off himself. He kills one dramatically and Jason is the first/last face he sees

In this, Jason is not Praetor. I'd like to imagine he managed to beg off being made Praetor until he turns 16 next year, because the idea made him want to bite people and he did bite Octavian and Reyna. Reyna, in my eyes, is like 17 going on 18 while Jason is 15 going on 16. Jason has an oblivious crush on her and she likes him as a faithful companion, like if her metal dogs could give tactic strategy feedback and make her laugh with snitty comments. Much more student who is a black belt but not a teacher and then a student who's a brown belt. I don't know back on track that's why Jason is on border patrol and not doing boring Praetor things

Also that nicely sets Jason up to go through the war and come out the other side as the Praetor so he might actually enjoy it this time

Back from that commercial break, the first book would basically be the quest from the lost hero but with changes to suit the divergences I've made but still mainly following that plot. They return to Camp Jupiter and celebrate and Leo finds Bunker Nine, hidden in the San Franciscan hills. I remember reading something about Rome loving Vulcan but could totally be mistaken, but that all would gel really well. On Pipers side of things, Tristan has moved into New Rome after Enceladus concussed him so hard he is blind so the Mist isn't bothering his vision. It's really hard because her father just got horribly injured, but now can be with her more often and not do stupid films, of course he wants to return to Hollywood so it's a lot of tense non arguments and treasured quality time

Book 2 would then open with Percy, the entire book is a classic fully him book like the og series. Something like: Look I don't want to waste my time or yours, we both got plenty to do. You know everything since last summer back. The more recent stuff, this past school year was okay! I got put into a couple of remedial classes, and had to deal with plenty of remedial monsters, but overall August to May? No big problems. Even arriving early back to camp had been no problem. I did it to help all the other counselors and Chiron get camp ready to shift from half-gear/winter mode to full gear/summer mode with easily quintuple the campers ready to show up. As the only Poseidon camper and the living hero of Olympus' everlasting ass, I probably could have gotten away with not helping. Annabeth asked me to, so it was a no brainer. June though? Oh boy."

And in JUNE they get Grover bringing back two demi-gods (usually he's busy being a teenage satyr equivalent lord of the wild [HE IS 28 IN TLT RIGHT BUT THATS SUPPOSED TO BE EQUIVALENT TO A HUMAN 12! HE STILL SO YOUNG]) but he ran into these two and uhuuhhhhh needed to bring them right away. And it's Frank and Hazel!!! I love Frank but the fact that he comes out a somewhat legible and not totally weird character is a miracle. He is the son of a minor god, who didn't want him going to CHB because of the shit conditions for non Olympian kids but then Frank somehow befriended a monster kid but then the monster parents tried to eat him and now that he knows his scent has gotten stronger and just bc demigods can't use phone doesn't mean monsters can't they can text their cousins and be like hey fresh meat coming your way. They probably love playing mobile video games and doing crypto trading. Anyways

On the run, he runs into Hazel. She is our lost Roman! Hera took her time with Leo and unfortunately did a rush job with Hazel. She got memory wiped, but Hera ran out of time to set up her arrival to CHB properly, and just drops her in Frank's path. (Tangent: With Frank and Hazel, I've made my feelings pretty clear, canon ages can't date, at least not till they're in their 20s. Again, like that's not something I have a problem with, bc 3 years isn't enough to really view that younger kid as baby comparatively the age just doesn't match up till their 20s. but.......) given they are demigods, I would space out their relationship the full five years to the end of the second series, so she's 18 at least.

That's right, FIVE YEARS. don't try to fucking do all that shit in one year!!!!! You're saying Gaia is this huge big bad but in a span of ONE year where no one actually fights HER she doesn't seem nearly as good a villain as Kronos! He had the pizzazz!!! The villainous razzle dazzle!!!! Because he was given time (ha...ha). I expect at LEAST as much for a BIGGER BAD. It just fucks with the pacing.

Anyway! Hazel has always had dreams and a connection to the Earth, so she's enjoying the newly constructed Hades cabin (where Nico is really fucking confused but really happy?) And also having terrible nightmares and sometimes sneaking off into the rockiest area of the woods like it's in a stream but huge boulders like st peters village creek and she sneaks off there sometimes but that's only after sleepwalking there after the dreams. She is really worried about this possible...familiar.....danger and protective of her new family so she goes back out there repeatedly to think and try to meditate

Percy, both really enjoying befriending Hazel but also somehow the only one finding her suspicious, is working himself into a tizzy because you know how he is with friends and with Silena's death and everyone else's anniversary coming close he has. A lot on his mind. So one night he's out at the wider part of the creek practicing his 'waterbending' and generally being upset, and he does have a sense for Earth so being so close he can feel the small tremors Hazel is putting put and he tracks her upstream

Confrontation time

Percy is already freaked out and Hazel is already in a weird place so she thinks he's a monster through her earth sense, yes she can have that she deserves it, so with her eyes closed she send a little rock spike at him out of fear, which he thinks is her attacking, so he fights back, Hazel comes to/opens her eyes and gets frightened and accidentally entombs Percy. She's able to bring him back up after a second, but oh man that second was possibly the single scariest second ever completely pressed in by dirt on all sides. Suffice to say he gets more fighty bc that's who Percy is, but Hazel manages to freeze his foot and explain herself and Percy calms down pretty well. Really fucking miffed and still has shivers running down his spine every heartbeat, but he's a reasonable guy, a nice dude. He has also been having visions, and between the two of them, figure that something is going to attack this other camp that exists, somewhere on the West Coast, and by a Giant and it's army

Phew! End scene, sheesh. Can you imagine how fucking long this would be if I actually wrote it out? Christ in hell.

They go to sleep! As all good demigods should at Night. The next day, Percy and Nico shove their tables together and Annabeth crouched in as does Frank, because his parents cabin hasn't specifically been done up yet. Oh hm maybe he could have his mortal soldier (booooo) mom and Nike? Doesn't matter, he still likes archery and still eventually figures out his shapeshifter shit. His candle, I think I want that honestly would work better as like, if Frank chose to save someone and took their punishment and he was given that candle. Or something. So at brunch they figure out the pieces, and then when Chiron comes over they think he's going to reprimand their shitty pavilion tableware manners, but nope he just says Rachel needs to see them in her cave

NOW Rachel gets to make a nice little debut with her cave. I honestly. Honestly. Honestly can't remember how it went it tlh if they went to her cave or the big house. Ik Jason went to the big house at some point but it's not relevant to the current topic. Anyways I get to spend an ungodly amount of time waxing about a the artsy fartsy/hippydippy sacred oracle cave of a teenage billionaire heiress which I don't care if there's a kind of canonical description this is my Rachel's cave now. So that would be like, at least half the chapter, the other half is her giving the prophecy after winning at just dance 3.

Anyways then they have a prophecy so they are sanctioned to go to find new Rome! Given the dreams, Nico Hazel and Percy go on the quest. Originally it was going to be Frank but "There's no way I'm letting you go off on another quest with my sister without making sure she's safe myself". Oof, sometimes I understand what writers mean when they say the characters have their own voice sometimes. So whenever they iris message to camp, Frank and Annabeth will be (not) enjoying figuring out his demigod abilities and just generally Frank gets to enjoy camp a little (but barely because he's very worried about his camp crossing buddy being out there without him, despite being protected by two mega powerful demi gods and being pretty strong herself, he still wishes he could message her every day, but it's not practical. Only when the questers can afford to.)

Now in New Rome: Leo, flames, Jason, wind, Percy, with a real big cool boat, they honestly make short work of the whole Alaska situation. That's more of a side thing that Percy signs himself up to do. I think they get incredibly weird in the way a bunch of future openly bisexual men would as traumatized super powered teenagers with a duty and repression around other teen like them who are also hot. NOTHING really happens, Percy is SOLIDLY dating Annabeth at the time, and Jason is too Roman and Leo is too repressed. But yknow. Solidly gay lockeroom vibes like if any of then ever saw that one id magazine of the jock and skater dude their minds would shut down for at LEAST 2 meals worth of time. But yeah they just have a fun jaunty time freeing Thanatos.

Back to Percy, he is enjoying seeing Nico come out of his shell, but also Nico is acting strangely too, but in a completely different way then Hazel. One is entangled in something dangerous, while the other is withholding something dangerous. It's driving Percy batty because after getting paranoid about Hazel earlier he doesn't want to say or push anything, and Nico is his little brother, and Hazel is his little sister, so this is practically a family road trip as far as he is concerned (he hopes) (desperately) (trying to distract from the alternative). Percy doesn't witness this, but at some point Nico comes out to Hazel and reveals his crush on him, and Percy just picks up on "something" being different. Obligatory questers send off at the Jackson household, filled with cookies and great parenting. Really a good way to lower everyone's guard to all the bullshit about to hit their ass. At this point, they are just trying to get cross country, and trying to link up with the Romans and warn them. They arrive on the same day Leo completes the Argo and Octavian butchers, like, 30 build-a-bears. Special edition ones too. Nico, at this point, has left because Hazel is pissed. She eventually remembered Nico at Camp Jupiter and there's a whole thing about that (fun little throw in about Norse and Egyptian from Percy's experiences in the ensuing conversation) so soon as they arrive safely to New Rom, he leaves immediately back to Camp Half Blood, reports, and, I dislike Nico going to Tartarus and getting captured so for right now he has been locked in his room by Hades for mentioning even doing that and he is a having a gay fume

Back in Rome, Hazel is recalling her life there, she had been there for several years, she had a few friends, and Reyna had begun to mentor her on the horse before Hera kidnapped her. As much as she loved CHB, she had never expected anything else and had put work in to feel at home among the golden hills of New Rome.

Okay also while I'm thinking of it. The fact that older Romans don't serve in the army but all the trick or treaters do? Fucking lunacy. But I want to worldbuild on this bullshit before I yank it out: what if the divinity in a demigod is strongest the younger they are, the closer their share of divinity is to the god. this is how you can get a baby Percy killing a snake in his cradle. But usually this means that a demigods peak years is 5-18, instead of a mortals 18-30. Like, of course just because they get older doesn't mean their power completely fade or anything, and of course in examples of extremely powerful demigods no one knows exactly, but, just spitballing, that's why so many monsters come after the kids, when imo they should be stronger when they are adults. So they are just less tasty as they grow through whatever divinity they were given, like expired jerky instead of filet mignon. So the 15 year old demigod serving in New rome's army is going to be to an aged out demigod of the same parent what Percy is to usual demigods. Just that much more in tune. The alternative is totally keelhauling the system and installing adults everywhere but I'm disinclined to that option

So Annabeth and Frank are in CHB, Hazel and Reyna are in New Rome, Jason Leo and Percy are in Alaska, and Nico is MIA at the moment. At this point, the prophecy of 7 is given by Rachel and after picking up Hazel, the Argo swings back to Long Island and then onto Greece.

Nico pops back up in New Rome, with warnings and looking to apologize to Hazel, but everyone is over the Atlantic. He accidentally ropes himself in to helping Reyna as Octavian is getting unruly. I think my Octavian is a total bastard but he isn't conspiring to get Rome and Greece to fight he is genuinely fucking concerned about them fighting and is acting out

I don't get why Annabeth had to get the Athena Parthenos at the exact same moment the whole Gaia is awakening it seems very stupid of Athena, so unless I'm forgetting something this is my made up reason: Athena gives Annabeth the OPTION of undertaking it at the same time or, if everyone survives, doing it later. It would be best to do it now though because she will already be in the Ancient Lands and then if Annabeth is able to recover the Parthenos it will allow Athena to regain complete control over her Minerva form and then, she SAYS to Annabeth, she would be able to help the questers since she won't be spread in two different directions. THAT is what convinces Annabeth to try and find it because Athena's aid would be invaluable for the rest of the quest

Then, when Annabeth and Percy fall into Tartarus and the Parthenos is recovered, Athena is able to manifest in front of the 7 (five). She is expecting to congratulate her daughter and bestow her blessing upon her and give everyone else a little boon, but then no Annabeth. This actually really pisses her off, and when she notices Percy is gone too and asks and they say he DELIBERATLY went in after Annabeth, well this helps boost the worthiness of the sea spawn in Athena's eyes, although this totally fucks everything up bc those two are basically the power players of the 7.

I'm kind of wishy washy on the minutiae of the of the house of hades, I honestly only gave a shit about the 411 in tartarus so no big change ups for the 5 just generally their shit goes easier with Athenas help

Annabeth and Percy are going through it of course. My personal theory is that the rivers of the underworld mess with peoples mortal souls and bodies when people interact with them. the cocytus leaves a more lasting mark on their psyches, and the phlegethon actually slowly eats at both of their mortality. If a normal person tried to drink from it, their human soul would wither away (like peeing on a flower), but with their divine side much more durable, both Percy and Annabeth's souls are growing unbalanced. Percy even more so, as I think when the Styx blessed him it burned away all but that anchor of mortality, and then when the Little Tiber washed away the blessing (which is BULLLLLLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT) his mortal soul is already spread thin and that's why when they get to Akhyls, he is able to crack past his mortal barrier and develop his powers in ways he shouldn't be ABLE to. MY Annabeth, also, doesn't have that shitty reaction to Percy SAVING them. Her mortal soul is boiling and releasing steam vapors it will never get back, so her mind has both never been more tortured but also never been clearer and faster in her life. She is able to get Percy to back off, but just so she can manipulate Akhyls properly and get her to actually help them with Percy as the knife to the throat. In/After Tartarus Annabeth is very much the cleaning/sharpening/and polish to Percy's sword edge.

Annabeth also messes with Bob/Iapetus, poking at his memories and paving the way for him to remember Percy, but doing it in a way so that Iapetus which actually like them by the time he remembers. This is mainly to show off Annabeth being different from her usual self, to have a Percy pov of him being uneasy of Annabeths ability to turn someone around and re-arrange their thinking with just some conversation. This is also because I want Small Bob to go up to the surface and be her big murder cat and if Iapetus genuinely liked her I can see him giving them the cat monster as a token of good faith and fRiEnDsHiP but it ends up being something that gives Annabeth part of her humanity back because she realizes the real impact she had on him and now she has a monster pet to take care of just like her boyfriend (this set up parallels very nicely I'm loving this now)

The Blood of Olympus would probably end up being REALLY different just because the canon book sucks so hard. And I think I'd make a plot point of Zeus breaking the Styx promise to free Calypso, I'd have it become that all of this is actually his fault because by not following the promise the consequences were Gaia waking up enough for all this to even happen. Actually this would set up nicely a next series of dethroned Zeus look at how easy that all falls together fuck I love this idea. It would take so long to write though maybe after I retire I could write it. Also how stupid is it for the gods to work with their own kid against the literal BANE of their existence? Fucking switch up the teams!!! It doesn't make any sense to me and then you could get some really interesting fight scenes and dynamics like I would have it so Percy ends up fight alongside Athena and Annabeth alongside Ares, Jason with Poseidon and Hazel with Zeus, Frank with Hades more on and so on

For that last paragraph I wanted to elaborate so I looked up a list of Greek mytho giants, but it had so much more fun info then I was expecting and has lead me to realize that the defeat of the giants should be a collaborative effort between both the Roman and Greek camps and the gods that would truly be the best way to tie up the huge finale of evil bosses, would free up some of the huge hitters to actually fight Gaia directly, and would be a fucking great fight finale that would unite both camps under one banner of the gods and OOOOH THIS is so smart my brain is shaking like a chihuahua

And then yeah! Series wrapped. Take that Rick, longer time frame, more drama, more battles, and doesn't clumsily fumble everyone's character

If you have read this far I am kissing your cheeks and hugging you thanks for having fun with me!!!!

[ladyimaginarium]

okay so. this is me& hyperfixating bc this has been in our& likes for a hot minute. just a disclaimer that i'm& obviously by no means a medical professional & idk kohske at all whatsoever so i'm not in her head when she's writing all this out in regards to the storyline & 4 the sake of my& sanity, we're& not doing anything exomemory related, but i& will be drawing personal examples from my& own life to see if it could draw some sort of comparison when discussing memories & recognition, we're& just gonna go strictly with canon & what possibly could've happened that night with the vermeil trio. also a gentle reminder to any r.amcoa survivors or survivors of intense trauma who may be reading this: if you cannot handle this because you find it too upsetting, please look away or find another post & please take care of yourself if necessary, because while this is a fictional work, i& do know that these topics can be very difficult so do what you must.

so. my& theory is that bc of her heavy dissociation due to years & years of trauma, erica doesn't remember large chunks of her life due to retrograde amnesia, which tends to be very common ( & i& myself experience this on a deep level in the sense that i& straight up do not remember years of my& life in childhood & adolescence, only small fragments here & there & if you were to ask me& how my& year was, i& literally would not be able to tell you bc i& don't remember most of what happens in a year; there was this one time where i was looking directly at someone straight in the face who i've literally known for years and didn't recognize them, that's how bad did can get ), & as such, she doesn't remember their faces. she remembers flesh memories, if you will, like how ivan kisses her forehead as a means of controlling her in contrast to when delico used to do so as a comforting gesture when they were children living in the orphanage, but not necessarily faces. it is, however, likely that she can remember names from people in her past, to a degree. it's also worthy of note that erica's visage is oftentimes emotionless & not to mention she very rarely actually speaks & the only person she actually verbally speaks to and communicates with is mikhail & her body language is often nonverbal communication so it's hard to necessarily pick up what she's thinking or feeling. here's what we DO know though. even if she isn't professionally diagnosed as far as we know, erica canonically has c-ptsd due to long, extended periods of trauma that happened for over two decades & is still undergoing that trauma on an everyday basis as a hitwoman & essentially ivan's slave in all but name as she undergoes a deeply abusive & toxic relationship to the point where she will do literally anything ivan says, because that's how she's literally conditioned & programmed under torture ( otherwise known as t.bmc or t.orture/trauma b.ased m.ind c.ontrol, is an extreme form of conditioning where a victim is tortured until they "snap" and enter an extremely dissociative state and thus are able to be manipulated and have parts of their mind and thinking warped ) & also seemingly under the influence of drugs ( otherwise known as d.bmc or d.rug based m.ind c.ontrol which is similar but with the usage of illicit substances instead of torture to cause the same amount of dissociation and vulnerability to suggestion ) to be, not rejecting his touch, but rather leaning into his touch to receive affection. isolation and solitude literally kills people, ivan abused and violated her so much growing up that she literally seeks his attention as a way of comforting herself, because... in her eyes, even the affections of a monster is better than no affection. similarly to sharp objects: "a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort".

something i've& noticed too is that she's often depicted staring into the distance and/or away from the reader because she's likely dissociating especially in scenes where her trauma may have been triggered because in all these scenes where she's looking away, ivan is saying and/or doing something terrible that likely reminds her of her own trauma, i.e daniel and ivan describing her kidnapping from the vermeil orphanage, ivan quite literally confessing that he assaults her every night in front of everyone she's ever known in the most sickening twisted & humiliating way possible.

the only time we& see erica's internal dialogue is in this panel, showing that ivan has corrupted her from the little girl delico & yang knew from when they were boys. erica likes killing. she likes murdering people. she likes seeing others she perceives as weaker than her in pain, even if she does not express this outwardly.

it's also worthy of note that erica does not seem to recognize nicolas either, despite him being the one to hold her up on his shoulders & play with her while she happily gifted flowers to everyone around her. in fact, she doesn't seem to recognize delico, yang or nicolas at all by their visage, physique or scent & she's interacted with nicolas twice now. i& think if she'd had remembered any of them, there'd probably be some kind of implication, but there's also the possibility that if she Does remember them, it's just that her memories of everything she once knew before her kidnapping is deeply hidden under layers under layers of her psyche & she's just not showing anything about how she's feeling bc that's what her trauma & conditioning did to her. not only did she lose her autonomy and freedom, she lost her personhood, she was reduced to a thing that had to follow orders from her abusive master without question. what happened to her was fucked up on every level. erica was once that little girl who used to sit on nicolas' shoulders and hand out flowers to people & now ivan, daniel monroe & corsica all turned her into this shell of her former self.

i& personally don't think it's a physical, physiological permanent age regression & that's only bc that's extremely rare afaik & the only scenario that i've& heard of where someone has permanently age regressed ( & even then as an autistic person i& do know that a lot of autistic people dislike the term m.ental a.ge so i'm& using a.ge r.egression here as an alternative ) was that the person in question was given a LOT of thallium poisoning & managed to be saved in time because it's just so rarely used & while, yes, erica was painfully experimented on & injected with various drugs, i& don't think ivan or any of her handlers would poison her, because that wouldn't be useful if they were intending on training the perfect soldier, if you will, but i& think it's a possibility that she may involuntarily age regress to cope with her trauma seeing how that's extremely common with people with cptsd & those with dissociative disorders like did, for example, ourselves& included, which in our& case the vast majority of the time is involuntary, but it hasn't been shown onscreen so that's really anyone's guess. & really the only time we see her smile as an adult is when she's collecting tags or when she's kissed on the forehead in one scene which is just... so heartbreaking.

the scene with "YANG!" really piques my interest too, especially because delico saying it then yang rushing in to help delico then erica's face isn't shown seems to depict it as ambiguous as to whether or not she recognized his name.

but i do think that over time she probably does have at least some recognition especially when you consider everyone's been saying her name multiple times over and over and over again and daniel deliberately refers to erica as "your sister" to delico right in front of her so i'm sure something must've clicked, especially when you consider yang just fucking snaps, seeing her as the poor, abused woman that she actually is, not some tool to be used and commanded, but a person who has experienced unimaginable suffering, and attempts to shoot ivan and avenge erica's honor and then erica turns around, looks directly at him and gives yang this look.

i believe that's a silent plea. she's looking at him, silently begging him not to shoot. it's all so twisted and fucked up, but as monstrous and vile as he is, ivan is all she has. it really is a "i have no mouth, and i must scream" moment. after her kidnapping and being painfully experimented on, kept isolated from the rest of the world in a lab, subjected to the same brainwashing & experiments the destroyers are under, until she was the only one who survived and likely having to kill the other experiments, her old friends from the orphanage, and later being trained and programmed into becoming the ultimate weapon and the strongest most powerful weapon they've ever had, she likely only ever had the attention her master gave her to look to for a human connection, and when someone is so heavily abused, they often form what might seem to those who haven't experienced heavy abuse to be an odd attachment to the person who brought them so much pain. and i think in her mind, ivan gives her a sense of purpose and it's safe to assume that she derives much of her self worth from him despite the abuse she suffered at his hands and daniel monroe's and uranos corsica's hands. and because of the high rates of neglect in orphanages among other things and because she was kidnapped so young, it's very possible she has no concept of what boundaries and safety let alone what healthy relationships are. it's in her very name, the erica flower represents loneliness & solitude in the victorian era flower language while also meaning "ever powerful" & "eternal ruler", ironically because she has no power over herself. she was once her own person but was completely stripped of all her humanity & personal autonomy, a shell of her former self. she seemingly can't remember anyone or anything from before she was kidnapped & was a subject of monroe & corsica's experimentations, a borderline mindless murder machine who can't remember her childhood friend let alone her own brother. whenever delico and nicolas made eye contact with her, there was seemingly no recognition whatsoever despite her previous dynamics with them before her kidnapping. she was about to kill nicolas with no hesitation even though he was once like an older brother to her who played with her and carried her on his shoulders while she gave out flowers to others. it's extremely heartbreaking to think about because she's so desensitized to slaughtering hundreds if not thousands of innocent people and only wanting a kiss on the forehead. only to be told showed off to delico that ivan assaults her every night. she's not any kind of ruler at all, she's essentially a slave to ivan, monroe, & corsica who've completely mind controlled her, she doesn't rule over anyone, not even herself. but everyone has their breaking point.

and i think yang catches onto this because this comes right after, this seems to be a flashback to whenever they were in vermeil orphanage as children and that's when yang changes his mind to shoot daniel instead then delico ends up shooting yang.

i do think, though, that there has to be a reason for all this, bc i don't think kohske would show us all this awful stuff if it didn't have some kind of purpose on either delico and/or erica's and/or yang's story other than constant trauma ykwim?? literally Every Single Abuser dies brutally at the end like what happened with alex, cursed!beretta etc., often by their own hands or someone else. i have no idea what's gonna happen next in the canon storyline but i think there's a possibility that she could survive & get better, but it'd take... a Lot of deprogramming bc i think she's been heavily programmed under many different types, i just hope she survives.

Btw does anyone have theories on Erica not recognizing Yang and Delico?

Mine is that she thinks of herself as a child--age when she was kidnapped--so to her Yang and Delico are also children as she remembers them... But now that she met them as adults, and especially post puberty (not only physical changes but also voice changes) she couldn't recognize them bc she was looking for two little boys.

But I think there are hints she recognized the name YANG. (I forgot if it was because Delico shouted the name?)