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sheepfulsheepyardinspace · 4 years ago

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Do you have any Star Wars fanfic recommendations, or have a link to someone else's list? I really wanna veg out.

oh my god, DO I. this may have been the best ask in the world. i’m not really sure what u want a feel for, so i threw together some of my favorite longfics for maximum veg time from the ot/pt and links for swr and swtcw recs. they’re pretty much all luke-anakin/vader centric, since that’s kinda my bread and butter.

let’s start with frodogenic, who wrote the first longfic i ever read in sw and might be one of the funniest authors ever. they once reviewed my fanfic & i nearly cried from joy. anyway.

The Father, 284k+, complete. “Ten years after ROTS, tormenting nightmares of his unborn child drive Darth Vader to extraordinary measures with unexpectedly drastic consequences. Clearly, experience has taught Darth Vader nothing...”

this is my og star wars fic and boy oh boy is it amazing. i will never get over this. i don’t want to spoil anything but when i say the final chapters are great? i mean they’re legendary. sometimes i still think about them & wish upon a star that i could be such a great writer. vader’s amazing, han is spectacular, and the ocs are fantastic.

Far More Than Rubies, 70k+, complete. “Nine years after AOTC, tragedy revisits the Lars Homestead. Little Luke Skywalker is suddenly plunged into chaos as the rebel movements discover a secret military project that may make a crucial difference in the war with the Empire.”

the spiritual twin of The Father, FMTR takes a look at padmé’s character and relationship with both luke and anakin/vader that’s hard to beat. it’s darker and heavier than The Father, but it hits those same sweet, sweet emotional beats while raising the age-old question: if padmé had lived, what would she have done?

The Family Tree, 12k, complete. “In which Luke Skywalker is stranded in a tree waiting for a flash flood to recede. Too bad he's got company...”

okay, i admit, this isn’t a longfic, but it is a longshot, and it’s amazing. the imagery and description always blow me away, and the interaction (canon-compliant) between luke and vader just [chef’s kiss] get me. vader’s in full, glorious form, and it makes it all the harder when luke wrestles with the knowledge that vader is his father.

Sibling Revelry, 25k, complete. “After Bespin and before Endor, Darth Vader is shocked to discover that Luke and Leia are twins. He's even more shocked when Imperial Intelligence reports that Organa and Skywalker are, erm, a tad closer than previously suspected.”

this is complete crack and humor in the best way possible. it’s crack treated entirely seriously, and you will be in stitches, i promise. no matter how many times i’ve read this i break down.

KittandChips (@kittandchips) writes what i can only describe as food for the soul. the luke-vader interaction is insanely amazing, the world building of daily imperial life and imperial governance is amazing, and vader just has a special je ne sais quoi that u must read to understand––tragic, funny, and so, so fatherly. they’re currently rewriting the Force Bond Series to fit in with newer canon, so i will joyously binge reread the entire again (including the new Force Bond: Mustafar Weekend).

Force Bond 1: Orphan, 47k, complete. “After Owen and Beru are killed by a mysterious stranger, young Luke ends up as an orphan on Coruscant. It's a race against time as Obi-Wan struggles to find Luke before Vader realizes the boy is his son.”

Orphan kicks off the series, which tracks vader and luke’s relationship through the perils of luke’s teenagerhood while growing up under the eye of the emperor and imperial court. it’s filled with slow growth, struggle and misunderstandings as darth vader tries to single parent, and pay off in every installment. the entire series clocks in around 777k+ and is the most joyful, fulfilling reading you’ll ever have. promise.

darth-nickels (@darth--nickels) writes darker, twistier, and terribly, terribly heartwrenching aus. they’ve got a whole host, but let me introduce to my two favorites. also, check out their faux-academia on vader. it’s amazing and i love it, but i admit i am an academia hoe.

Dooku Captured, Pt 2, 16k, complete. “Dooku is taken alive onboard the Invisible Hand, and Sidious' web is torn. The Sith Lord wonders if death might have been preferable to clumsy interrogation by Anakin Skywalker.”

Dooku Captured is a longshot au told from Dooku’s pov which takes the beginning of ROTS and throws it on its head. it’s a fascinating outside perspective of anakin and obi-wan’s relationship and such and interesting examination of dooku’s psyche and especially his complex relationship with the jedi order, qui-gon, yoda, and palpatine. i cannot rec this one enough.

Black Mirror, 90k, incomplete. “The Ghost crew returns to the Lothal when they hear the Empire is investigating the Jedi Temple there. They learn Vader is alone and decide to take him out-- but what they find could change the course of Galactic history.”

Black Mirror diverges into swr territory, but make no mistake: this is entirely an examination of vader and, later, obi-wan as well as ahsoka. luke makes his appearance later in the game, and boy oh boy will you love luke’s portrayal is a microcosm of luke and vader’s relationship within canon. heed the tags, though.

jerseydevious ( @jerseydevious ) is, first and foremost, one of my favorite people on earth. secondly, though, she’s an amazing writer with a deep understanding of vader’s character and psyche, a flair for beautiful depictions, and the true ability to wring every emotion out of your body.

Two and a Half Men (with a baby), 13k, incomplete. “After a long day of bargaining with Hutts and attempting to ignore his past, Darth Vader is nearing the end of his rope. When he discovers his two-year-old son, it's the straw that breaks the semi-rational Sith Lord's back; in a rash act worthy of the Skywalker name, he scoops his son into his arms, steals a shuttle from his own fleet, and punches in random hyperspace coordinates to a destination on the other side of the galaxy. Unfortunately, father and son are not the only ones on the ship.”

Two and a Half Men will stick with you, dude. like no other. i promise. it’s a whirlwind ride with obi-wan, vader, and piett and as funny as it is heartbreaking. it touches on some heavy issues and doesn’t shy away from looking at the damage done to vader––again, heed the tags.

Helioseismology, 4k, complete. “Luke gets shot down on a supply run and caught in an ice storm. It's extremely lucky that his father followed him there.“

i’ll admit. im completely biased about this one because it was a birthday gift to me and i am sucker for litcherally anything when jd puts pen to paper, but believe me when i say you will be awed by the depth and tangled relationships between these luke and vader that jersey can illustrate in a stroke of the paintbrush. im love. always.

izzythehutt ( @izzythehutt ) i am blown away by the intricate dialogue and characterization, always. and the latin puns? im sold. im also a sucker for latin puns, but that’s a story for a different time.

In Loco Pirates, 34k, complete. “A down-on-his-luck Hondo Ohnaka manages to capture the unicorn of all bounties--Luke Skywalker, which sends Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith, on a painfully familiar trip to the planet Florrum to collect his prize. The failed negotiations leave Vader in the awkward position of being stuck in a besieged pirate bunker, trying to balance keeping his wayward child safe (and in his custody) with controlling the tongue of a loose-lipped pirate who--to the surprise of no one--has a bad habit of telling 'amusing' anecdotes from the Clone Wars.”

hondo, aka the best character of swtcw, is brought to life just as vividly on paper as on screen. his entire personality brings luke and vader’s difficulties in a sort of incredulous light, which makes it as funny as it is vulnerable and tragic. the sequel, Palpatine Ad Portas, brings piett into the spotlight, and oh man do his interactions with palpatine and vader bring u all the uncomfortable vibes. relish in it.

sparklight ( @littlesparklight ) man. lemme introduce u to an amazing prolific and detailed writer. i will never get over the series they’ve written & neither will u.

Where Our Intrepid Hero Doesn’t Get Away, 122k, incomplete. “One-shots surrounding either AU situations of canon/legends works where Luke would normally have gotten away (or Vader is simply inserted into the action to come pick his child up) but in these instances doesn't, or completely new scenarios of the same. There are no deep ruminations on consequences of the situations here, just our awful Sith dad picking his son up when he'd rather not be.”

exactly what it says on the tin. u know those glorious moments of fanfic where luke’s gotten captured and ur on pins and needles, waiting for vader to show up in a moment of dark glory? here’s the moment. here’s all the moments.

Space Race, 122k, incomplete. “Owen gives in to Luke's wish to attend the Imperial Academy and Obi-Wan is too late to avert it, though he's not too late to make sure Luke leaves Arkanis before Vader can gets his hands on him. Luke spends over a month running around the galaxy before his father gets him, and from there...”

this story relishes in chase and boy is it fun. it will keep you on the edge of your seat and it’s an amazing ride.

The Suns of Tatooine, 85k, complete. “Luke ends up on a moon swamped in dark side energy after a mission goes wrong, then his father appears... and then they go on a bit of a learning experience. This could've been the only thing that would come of getting through a Sith complex with his father, but thanks to going to free Han earlier than the gang did otherwise, more revelations are had. Will that change anything?”

this series is a thoughtful, contemplative piece examining the nature of the force and the relationship the skywalkers have with tatooine. the descriptions are beautiful, the inventiveness is amazing, and you’ll be thinking about it for long afterwards.

an additional few…

Between Flight and Longing; 34k, complete. “Luke Skywalker and Han Solo journey to the planet Balen'ar on a desperate mission and find more than they'd bargained for.”

a classic and it is for a reason. the interaction between han, luke, and vader is so spectacular and the slow trudge of going through the forest with your greatest enemy and best friend is something hilarious. the end is bittersweet and fantastic.

The Sith Who Brought Life Day, 13k, complete. “An Imperial officer loses a bet and has to get Darth Vader a present for Life Day.”

somewhere between terrifying and dull, this fic presents a canon-compliant look at the hunt for luke and the grinding wheels of the empire. the oc is amazing and it echoes in true star wars spirit: sometimes it’s just some dude who can change the galaxy.

Quintessence, 5k, complete. ‘“Well, Master, I think I’ve found the one positive aspect of this situation.” “Which is?” “The Temple won’t have to pay the costs for our funeral pyres.”’

pure hilarity and shenanigans abound in pre-aotc obi-wan and anakin hijink goodness. lemme tell u––u will deeply sympathize with mace windu afterwards. additionally, check out the rest of the author’s oneshots! they’re deeply thoughtful and the interactions the author writes between obi-wan and anakin are always gold.

some extras & shameless self-promotion

here’s a full list of recommendations for star wars rebels fanfic in case this is what you’re looking for (remember when this used to be a swr blog, lmao)

i’ve also written sw fanfic, both swr and luke-vader centric. drop by and tell me if it’s any good!

#also if anybody knows these authors' tumblr accounts pls lmk so i can link them #guys remember piett?#i miss piett #firmus piett #star wars #star wars fanfic #sw fanfic #sw fic #three two one boom #jerseydevious #luke skywalker #darth vader #anakin skywalker #star wars rebels #late-in-the-day #idk if any of these r new at all to anyone #but they r my faves :)

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sw-fixit-of-the-week · 5 years ago

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by Jen425

Shadow Warriors AU. Padme is given a choice, follow her heart or protect the Republic...

And she chooses the Republic.

And in doing so, she saves it.

…After all, shattered minds may reveal more than you even knew was there.

(Note: This story is actually a collection of shorter stories that all occur in the same universe and tie into each other. For the purposes of this post, I incorporated all of the tags, categories, and warnings in the collection, and marked it at the highest rating. However, the stories range from fairly light g-rated pieces to incredibly dark and violent works. I encourage anyone interested to browse all the stories in the collection and review their tags and ratings.)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con

Categories: F/M, Other, M/M, F/F

Characters: Dooku | Darth Tyranus, Padmé Amidala, Darth Maul, Savage Opress, Ahsoka Tano, Asajj Ventress, CT-21-0408 | Echo, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, Bail Organa, Jedi Council, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda (Star Wars), Mace Windu, Plo Koon, Shaak Ti, Luke Skywalker, Mentioned Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, mentioned Rey (Star Wars), Mon Mothma, CT-7567 | Rex, R2-D2 (Star Wars), Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Cut Lawquane, The 501st, Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Father (The Clone Wars), Jar Jar Binks

Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano & Asajj Ventress, Ahsoka Tano/Asajj Ventress, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker & Bail Organa, CT-7567 | Rex & Anakin Skywalker, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker & Mace Windu, Padmé Amidala & Bail Organa, Cut Lawquane & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & CT-7567 | Rex, Padmé Amidala & Mon Mothma & Bail Organa, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Mace Windu, R2-D2 & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, Anakin Skywalker & Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Luke Skywalker, Luke Skywalker & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker & The Council, CT-21-0408 | Echo & Anakin Skywalker, CT-21-0408 | Echo/CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, 501st Legion & Anakin Skywalker, Dooku & Anakin Skywalker, Darth Maul & Savage Opress, Dooku & Yoda

Additional Tags: Shadow Warriors AU, Episode: S4e4 Shadow Warriors, Angst, Padme chooses the Republic, Dooku has a horrible plan, War, prisoners of war, I struggle with Padme's POV, I'm Sorry, Introspection, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Obi-Wan, Padme made her choice even if it will haunt her forever, Dysfunctional Family, ...pretty much defines Star Wars in two words, Anakin and Padme are as subtle as a brick to the face, And they know it, Lightsabers, Jedi Culture, A not-so-happy reminder that Dooku used to be a Jedi, Pre-Femslash, Spin-Off, Pre-Relationship, Torture, Psychological Torture, Mind Rape, The only rape is mind rape, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker: Infinite Pain, Force Visions, kind of, Mortis (Star Wars), Anakin is not in a good place right now, Minor Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Anakin is betrayed up until he find out what HE would do to HER, Poor Anakin, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, all those character tags except the first two are for Mortis, (duh), The Author Regrets Everything, Aftermath of Torture, Hurt/Comfort, This is probably a fix-it, but right now it's just making Anakin's life worse, Anakin has a crappy life, Why do I do this to him?, Eventual Fix-It, Why Did I Write This?, Anakin Skywalker knows he has issues, Anakin Skywalker is not in a good place right now, Anakin uses his brain, ...Kinda, Anakin is still in a really terible place right now, and lying to everyone about the extent of it, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kinda, Anakin still needs that hug, and he's still failing at Jedi-ing, Mentions of murder torture genocide and all the other things Vader did, and some very subtle obitine, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Again, Multiple Times, Tags Are Hard, Hugs don't count if you're the one giving them, Yelling at the Council is fun, Jedi Code, Child Soldiers, General Ahsoka, The Jedi are stupid, Anakin calls the Council on their shit, Anakin is lying to himself again, Ahsoka deserves none of this, neither does Anakin, Suicidal Thoughts, ...but they're very brief, breif mention of, Clone Rights, Umbara, Zygeria, Terrorists, I really hate the Council, Ecxept Obi-Wan, And Yoda, ...sometimes, The start of the Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Anakin is starting to consider actually SURVIVING his fight with Sidious, It's slow going, Anakin works best when he knows how to protect his family, Anakin Skywalker Has Issues, he's trying, He's also trying to protect Ahsoka from his issues, He's failing, Ahsoka is Anakin's daughter, Anakin is a good dad, the Big Reveal (not), Sheev is a creep, and Anakin is questioning everything again, but that’s not entirely bad, how much was Palpatine’s fault?, Anakin doesn’t know, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Hardeen arc, fighting with Dooku and Magna gaurds is the last thing Anakin needs, Force exhaustion, Obi-Wan is trying, but he tried hard in Canon too, Past Mind Rape, Anakin isn't doing well here people, Setup, a lot of setup, Anakin still being in that horrible place right now, Delegation of 2000, Clone Rebellion, Mace Windu hates Anakin, and Anakin knows this, Artoo is awesome, Force-Sensitive Clones, and droids, Artoo and Fives are Force sensitive. fight me, Clones are way more aware than the Jedi, and the 501st would like to join me in hating the Council, Except Plo Obi-Wan Shaak ti and sometimes Yoda, Alternate Universe - Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Fix-It, Suicide Attempt, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, The 501st love their General, ...s, I still hate the Jedi, Order 66, ...Kinda, Force-Sensetive Fives, Final Battle, these tags are a mess, time-travel, (kinda), Anakin's extra-weird Force Visions, Scenes that I wanted from TLJ, Alternate Timelines, Brief suicidal thoughts, Forgiveness, It's harder to forgive yourself, Force Ghosts, Slight breaking of the fourth wall, This was supposed to be crack, it's NOT crack, Post Fix-It, Past Suicide Attempt, After Many Hours of Meditation, Mace Windu Has Discovered that the Jedi had been cruel to Anakin, and continuing down that path would lead to someone's death, how is Ahsoka so well-adjusted, Ahsoka Tano-centric, Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Anakin is tryiNG, Anakin Skywalker ALSO Needs a Hug, Anakin calling bullshit, Windu not being terrible, Anakin is very literal, This is why I like writing out of order, jedi politics, the jedi treated Anakin like shit okay?, What is this?, The Never-Ending Council Meeting, (Don’t worry this isn’t its only appearance), Anakin finally GETS that hug, Cuddling & Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Healing, Healing takes time, Complicated Relationships, Conversation with a capital C, Jedi Apprentice references, Anakin is STILL not in a very good place right now, Padme is trying, Anakin is just a mess, Ahsoka is wonderful, honestly this normalcy is so wonderful for Anakin right now, and then he gets work shoved into his lap, Anakin is a shipper, Sith Shenanigans, Anakin Does. Not. NEED THIS!!!!!, Dooku is an ass, Anakin is an Idiot, but he's not exactly thinking straight here so..., Anakin is a mess, Kind of..., Crack Treated Seriously, council meetings, shady politics, Nightmares, Recovery, Mind Rape Aftermath, I accidentally made the same thing happen twice, when clones act like Jedi something is Wrong, happy endings, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, except Grievous and Palps, but who actually cares about either of them?

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onwardintolight · 5 years ago

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Han x Leia, ESB, Trip to Bespin, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Summary: ESB from Leia's POV. A journey from despair to hope, a blossoming, an opening to vulnerability and love.

Warnings: Deals with some heavy themes, incl. working through trauma, depression, self-harm, attempted sexual assault. Each chapter will be individually warned.

Note: I’m currently in the process of reposting the first nine chapters here in full, since when I first wrote this fic, I only shared links to the chapters on AO3 and FFN. I will try to post at least weekly. In the meantime, if you’d prefer to binge-read it, the entire fic is posted in full on AO3 and FFN.

Part: Masterlist | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Epilogue

Soundtrack

~~~

Author’s note 10/2019: My take on the first “I love you.”

Warnings for Chapter 13: reference to suicide/suicidal ideation

~~~

Leia stared at her datapad, and it stared right back. The blankness of the new journal entry she’d opened called to her—or taunted her; she wasn’t quite sure which. She twirled a finger in one of the tendrils of her hair that had escaped from its braid.

It had been two weeks since they’d left Hoth. Two weeks since that crazy, horrible, wonderful day—wonderful, eventually, thanks to Han’s return, her decision to leave with him, their conversations, the kisses they’d finally shared. Horrible, because before that, the Empire had found their base… and she’d finally given in to despair. The past two weeks had been a welcome distraction, a healing balm for her soul. She hadn’t spent much time looking back. But as she sat curled up on her (their) bunk in the crew quarters, alone, datapad in hand, she sensed that she needed to confront what had happened that day, now that there was some time and distance.

Writing it out would help, she knew. Sometimes, that was the only way she could bring any sort of sense or order to the tangled thicket of feelings inside. She’d kept a journal for years; first it had been reluctantly, as a child following her mother’s strong suggestion, but as the years went on she had clung more and more to the release that came from setting free the jumble of words caged in her mind.

She had left behind the datapad she normally used as a journal. At the time, she had assumed she’d never need it again. It wasn’t gone forever, thankfully—dear old Threepio had seen to that—but for now, she’d have to make do with the single datapad she had on hand.

It would help if she could figure out where to start. Twenty minutes ago she’d dated the top of her new entry; since then, she’d begun a sentence only to delete it again multiple times. The more she thought about that day, the more jumbled up she felt.

Well, perhaps not all that jumbled—one feeling rose to the top of the writhing heap, threatening to overpower everything else, including her will to write.

Shame.

A sick feeling rose in her stomach. Absentmindedly, she drew out the amulet her mother had given her from the pocket she’d been keeping it in. Turning it end on end, she ran her thumb over the smooth silver metal, the rough, sea-toned jewels, the delicate chain.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

There was a knock at the door, and Han came in. She closed her fist around the necklace.

“Hey sweetheart," he said cheerily. "Just going to use the ‘fresher.” A minute later he emerged. He paused on his way to the door, taking her in. “You okay?”

Leia sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“Oh, come on, it’s never nothin’.” He crossed over to the bunk and sat down across from her. “Now look, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but—”

“No, I’ll talk,” she said, though she didn’t offer up anything else in the pause that followed. As it was with her journal, she wasn’t sure where to begin.

Han broke the silence. “So, uh, what’s that?” He gave a pointed glance at the bit of chain hanging out of her closed fist. She opened to let him see.

“My mother gave it to me,” she said. “It’s… it’s one of the few things I didn’t leave behind.”

Han cradled her hand with his own, leaning over to get a good look at the amulet. “It’s beautiful,” he murmured. He looked back up at her, raising an eyebrow. “Bringin’ up memories?”

“Always.” She smiled wistfully. “But it’s more than that.” She looked down at the amulet, her smile fading. “I… I was just thinking about what happened on Hoth. How I let them down.”

“Your parents?”

“My parents, my planet, everyone. I let them all down.” She shook her head. “I abdicated my duty.”

Han frowned. “What do you mean, sweetheart? We were just tryin’ to escape—we didn’t know we’d end up floatin’ out here all by ourselves, crawlin’ towards the nearest friendly system. That’s not your fault.”

“Oh, that’s not—that’s fine—I mean, it’s not fine, but that’s the way it is. No, the problem is what happened before that. I gave up, Han. I… I was going to let myself die.” She paused, then caught his eyes, trying to steady herself in them. “I wanted to die.”

Pain flickered in Han’s eyes as they held her own. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then he changed his mind and began stroking the side of her palm instead. Leia was vaguely relieved; she already felt ashamed enough without him piling on the worry and pity.

“Do you know what my father’s last words to me were?” she continued. “He told me he trusted me, more than anyone. He said there wasn’t anything I couldn’t deal with. At the time, he was sending me on a mission, charging me with taking the Death Star plans to Obi-Wan. But ever since… ever since, I’ve felt like his words were a charge for life. He trusted me to be the person I needed to be for my people, for the Rebellion, for the galaxy. He trusted me to not give up. On Hoth, I failed that trust. I proved him wrong.”

She swallowed down the lump that was rising in her throat. “I justified it by telling myself I wasn’t going to run away anymore. That I was facing my guilt, facing my fear. But really I was just giving into those things. Surrendering to my despair. Abandoning my duty. Letting Va—the Empire—win.” Her voice broke, and she stared down at the blankets, fighting back angry tears.

“Leia.” Han spoke her name softly, searching her face until her eyes rose to meet his. “Sweetheart.” He shook his head, his thumb continuing to outline small circles on her palm. “You’re actin’ like you wanted to die out of selfishness, like you went off and abandoned the galaxy on purpose. That’s not the truth and you know it. You said it yourself; you thought you were confrontin’ things you needed to.”

“Honestly, I thought I deserved to die,” Leia muttered. “That I should. That the galaxy would be better off without me.”

“See? I’m right. Sometimes, y’know, we all get lopsided and start thinkin’ things are one way when they’re really the other. And with what you’ve been through, I’d be surprised if you didn’t get a little lopsided sometimes. Look, I know you haven’t talked about it, but I’ve heard: the suicide rate among Alderaanian survivors is somethin’ else. Losing your whole planet… kriff, Leia, that kind of thing gets to your head, even if you aren’t a princess. You know what I think?” He caught her eyes again, and flashed a disarming grin. “I think you’re really strong for holding on for so long.”

Leia huffed, looking away. The sentiment was nice, but it rung hollow. “Strong or not, I had a duty, and I failed.” She blinked back tears. “Sometimes I wonder if my parents see everything I’ve done, everything I’ve become, and regret adopting me. If being the cause of their deaths and the death of our planet wasn’t enough for them to despise me from beyond the grave, then this ought to be.”

Han rolled his eyes and threw up his hands in mock exasperation. “Okay, so you briefly tried to get yourself killed. You were lopsided and felt like you were doin’ the galaxy a favor. You know how much that changes how I feel about you? Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nothin’ like that could ever change the fact that I love you. And nothin’ like that could ever make your parents quit lovin’ you, either, not from what I know about ‘em.”

Leia’s breath caught. Her mouth hung open, speechless. Had he really just said those three words?

Han went on as if nothing monumental had happened. “You carry so much guilt, Leia, and you don’t have to. You’ve always done the best you could. You’ve fought through hell like nobody I’ve ever seen, and helped a million people while you’re at it. Believe me, Princess, you’re one of the best damn things to happen to the galaxy. Your parents would be kriffin’ proud.”

Leia sat frozen. Her arguments were being eclipsed, one by one. Finally she found her voice, quiet and shaky, but clear:

“You love me?”

In answer, Han gathered her into his arms and kissed her soundly. “Yes, your worshipfulness,” he murmured in her ear, chuckling. “I’ve been doin’ a terrible job of it, but I’ve been tryin’ to tell you that for years.” Tears sprung fresh to Leia’s eyes as he lowered her down on the bunk. With every ounce of passion and strength she possessed, she did her best to respond without words, and all she knew for a long time was the feeling of his lips on hers.

~~~

They rolled onto their sides, and Han kissed a line down the side of her neck, his fingers wound tight in her hair. Leia’s breath hitched at the sensation, and she pulled him closer, running her fingers down his spine, catching his lips again. When they came up for air Han murmured it again: “I love you.”

He looked so vulnerable, lying there beside her, saying those words over and over as if making up for lost time. She could sense his longing to hear her say them back, and she wished desperately that she could.

Because she did love him. She knew it in every fiber of her being: a love so immense it seemed like it would explode from her in a neverending fountain of light and color. A passion so deep she could fall into it forever and never return.

And that, precisely, was the danger.

Han’s face, betraying a flicker of hurt, relaxed at her expression of consternation. “Sshhh,” he whispered, and he kissed her again, more gentle this time. Tears welling once more, she leaned into him harder, trying to pour into him everything she couldn’t say, everything she hoped he’d understand. But he pulled back and searched her eyes, fingers brushing loose hair from her face. Then, tenderly, deliberately, he planted one last kiss on her forehead and rolled out of bed. It felt cold and empty without him. “Only as far as you’re ready for, sweetheart,” he murmured. He turned and left the room.

Leia wasn’t sure how it was possible for her to feel all at once so happy and so very wretched.

~~~

Han seemed glum the rest of afternoon; Leia was certain she wasn’t imagining it, despite the fact that he always flashed her a grin whenever she was near. She ached knowing that she was the source of his hurt and there was little she could do to make it better.

At first she had given him some space. She tried to write down a few words about everything on her datapad, but that was soon tossed, once again, to the side. She attempted to bury herself in another illegally-downloaded novel, but she couldn’t focus on it.

He doesn’t want space, she realized. He wants you.

Sighing, she wandered out of the crew quarters and down the corridor. The sound of welding beckoned her to the circuitry bay.

“Hey, Princess,” said Han all-too-cheerily, lifting up his goggles as he turned to greet her.

“Hey there, hot shot. Can I help?” She watched as several different emotions warred on his face, and she would have laughed if she weren’t so heart-stricken. He was never as good at hiding them as he thought he was. Affection—and the desire to have her as close as possible—soon triumphed.

“Uh, sure,” he said. “You can calibrate some of the sensors I just got back online.”

“All right.” She picked up the holo-probe from where it was lying on the floor. Han went back to his welding, sparks flying, and she went to work on the sensors.

The silence between them lay heavy. The memory of their first kiss, right here in this cramped space, made Leia ache for more despite herself.

She swallowed. Stop it, she told herself. That won’t help anything. For the first time, the thought occurred to her that she might end up being the one to break Han’s heart, rather than the other way around. He had laid his heart on the line, and if she never told him she loved him, if she were never willing to jump all the way in, if she just kept stringing him along…. I can’t tell him, she reminded herself. He’s going to leave. I can’t take another loss.

But… she didn’t want him to have to bear that pain, either. Her heart sunk.

Maybe she needed to back off. For his sake, as well as her own.

She tried to focus on her work. Too often, though, she found herself stealing sideways glances, studying him, committing each feature to memory: that mop of brown hair, as scruffy and enticing as always. His muscular arms, rippling beneath his shirt. His rough hands, so careful and precise as he set down the welder, peeled off his gloves, and sank wrist-deep into a tangle of wiring. His face, frowning in concentration, a thin mask guarding over the vulnerability that was as always hidden just beneath the surface.

Taking off his goggles with a toss of his head, Han reached up past her to activate the panel he had just finished working on. Leia closed her eyes, willing herself not to focus on the nearness of his chest.

“You havin’ trouble?”

“What?” She opened her eyes, focusing them back on her work.

“The holo-probe actin’ up?” He hadn’t moved away.

“I—”

Reluctantly, inevitably, her eyes flickered up to find his. Yes, there was the hurt she was dreading to see, and the fear, and the… fiery determination? Her lips parted in surprise. Without another word, he took her in his arms and kissed her passionately, pushing her back against the wall like he had done two weeks before. Leia sunk into it at first, desperate to close the gap between them, until she recovered her senses. She jerked her head to the side.

“Han, wait, I—”

He held a finger up to her lips. “Don’t,” he murmured. “It’s all right.”

“But I—”

“I knew when I said it that you wouldn’t—that you couldn’t say it back. Not yet. It’s okay, Leia.”

“No, it’s not. You’re—”

“Sure it is. We’re goin’ at your pace, remember, sweetheart?”

“Stop interrupting me!” Leia lashed out, frustrated. “Listen: you’ll be leaving soon. I don’t know how I’d live with myself if… if I never… but I can’t… Han, can’t you see we’re flying straight into our own graves? We’re going to lose each other. I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t—”

“Leia, I’m gonna try and come back—”

“I’m sorry, Han, but maybe we should just… stop this.”

Han froze. Leia looked away, trembling. The future once more was winding down into bleakness; she’d just have to face it and find the strength to move on, somehow.

Then slowly, Han let out a breath. “Sweetheart,” he said softly, catching her eyes again, “there are worse things out there than havin’ something great and then losin’ it. One of those is never havin’ anything to begin with. That’s the whole damn reason we decided to try this out in the first place.”

She blinked, forcing back the edge of the familiar panic, focusing in on his words.

“Now, I’m not ready to back down yet, and I don’t think you are either—and no, you don’t have to say or do anything to prove it to me. I get it. You can’t. But as for me…” he brought his hand up to caress the side of her head, tracing his thumb along her hairline. He shook his head. “…Blast it, Leia, I love you. You’re worth it to me, no matter what happens. All of the consequences, all of the whatever afters—as far as I’m concerned, they can all go straight to hell.”

She looked up into his eyes, searching. Finally, she raised a tremulous eyebrow. “You really mean that, don’t you?” she whispered.

He nodded gravely.

She exhaled, feeling a mixture of sadness and relief. Reaching up her hand, she gently brushed the hair off his brow. “You always were a reckless one, flyboy,” she murmured.

“That’s why you like me.” He grinned roguishly, resting his arm back on the bulkhead above her and leaning in closer. “Now, where were we?”

The bleakness was dissipating, replaced by cautious hope; replaced by him. While a part of her heart still smoldered with fear, she clung to the truth of his words and the sincerity with which he had spoken them.

There are worse things than having something great and then losing it.

You’re worth it to me, no matter what happens.

Somehow, she felt as if a great weight were lifting off of her, slowly fading through the walls of the ship to disperse, free, in the aether.

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cacchieressa · 7 years ago

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Have you talked at all about Luke specifically in the last Jedi? I actually really like the idea of Luke on that island, if he went there to help (or thinks he’s helping), like if he’s worried about how his presence, or power or influence, could be used or twisted - it makes sense to me that he would try to help by removing himself as a piece on the game board, especially if you don’t know who the players are. But the fact that he has more direct reason to feel responsible for Ben than we 1/

knew - I thought the guilt was a nebulous, ‘should have seen it’ thing, not a ‘my action directly influenced the catalyst of Kylo Ren’s transformation’ - I do feel like Luke would have tried to fix what he’d wrought, and I like that Mark Hamill explicitly said that he doesn’t think Luke would fail to try fixing something he’s responsible for. I mostly loved the movie, including Luke, but I’m still trying to process this aspect. Do you have Luke thoughts?

I did in fact write about Luke here and here, on DW.

If you don’t want to click through, I’ll say that I agree he would have tried to fix what he felt responsible for and that’s a pretty big part of his characterization to biff. *hands*

More blathering beneath the cut about why I thought his characterization was off, in two ways (spoilers ahoy! though it’s not anything I didn’t say in those DW posts/comments):

1. the idea that he would draw and ignite his lightsaber on his sleeping nephew just because he sensed ~a deep darkness~ in him or whatever. I realize that 30 years is a long time and people change, but he is still the person who saw good in Darth Vader, who had by that point spent 23 years soaking in darkness, committing and aiding genocide and slavery and all manner of really terrible things (before we even get to the personal ones like killing Obi-Wan, torturing Leia and Han and cutting of Luke’s hand). So I don’t understand how just ~sensing darkness~ in someone who (as far as we know!) hadn’t yet actually done anything warranted that kind of response from him. After all, the future is always in motion! And Luke knows better than anyone how rushing in to prevent the terrible future is often part of what causes it to happen!

Also, I don’t know why middle-aged Jedi Master Luke was so fearful that he had that impulsive response, because the movie (and none of the ancillary materials I’ve actually read - and I’ve read quite a few of them) doesn’t give us any information (from his POV) about what he’s been doing for the last 30 years aside from trying and apparently failing at training a new generation of Jedi. I feel like there needed to be a little more information about why Luke is the way he is in that clearly key moment, even before we get into why he is the way he is on the island.

2. I have no problem with Luke feeling guilty about what he did in that moment, even though I in no way hold him responsible for Ben’s choices afterwards - Ben’s fall is on Ben, as he is allegedly an adult (in his 20s) when it happens.

What I do fault Luke for (or rather, the writing in this movie for) is that he has apparently made no effort to get through to his nephew? That we know of at any rate. Again, I’ve only seen the movie once, but Luke Skywalker is so guilt-ridden and traumatized that he cuts himself off from the Force and makes no effort whatsoever to help Leia or the Resistance or reach out to his nephew to see if he could be convinced to turn back? When we know he was in fact conflicted early on in TFA (and also possibly conflicted about killing his mother)?

Maybe if he’d actually done more than hurt Ben’s feelings (I’m not saying that hurt feelings aren’t a true offense! but I don’t think they require exiling oneself and letting the galaxy burn either!) and quickly repent of it, I’d say Luke should have had that level of guilt, but he does not. (I’m aware that guilt is not rational and the guilt we feel is often not at all commensurate with the offense given! But I also feel like a story has to provide support and context for the choices it makes, and unlike life, they should make some sense - hopefully on a thematic, narrative, and character level, but at least two of the three.)

So I feel like this complete lack of hope in Luke, this business where he’s apparently completely ruled by fear (as was his father before him) and guilt is something that really needs to be addressed via characterization - two or three lines of dialogue would do it to give us (and Rey) context for where he was at when he did the thing! But as it stands, I don’t feel like the movie did the work to support the Luke that we see on screen there.

All of that said, I loved cranky reluctant Jedi master Luke with Rey, and I really loved his conversation with Yoda, who is still trolling him from beyond the grave, and I adored his reunion with Leia (I sobbed through it). And of course I loved his astral projection showdown with Kylo Ren, the Kenobi style robe drop, the neatly trimmed hair and less gray beard, the shoulder brush, the “everything you just said is wrong,” the twin sunset, and that he died at peace. I just don’t think the characterization is a good extrapolation from what we know of Luke previously, 30 year time gap or not.

And the thing about series is that they have to have some continuity of character to work. I might not like it much, but I understand why Han and Leia are where they are when TFA opens. I don’t understand how Luke came to be where he is in TLJ. Which is my main issue with the movie, since to me, Luke Skywalker is the linchpin of the Star Wars saga (or at least the Skywalker Family Tragedy aspect of it).

Anyway, that was a lot and I hope it made sense.

#replies #anonymouse #the skywalker family tragedy #luke skywalker #Anonymous #star wars: the last jedi #tlj spoilers

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arielsojourner · 7 years ago

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Vader Strikes Back - Prologue/Thoughts

So I should be working on my sequel to the tumblr posts of Luke and Vader saving the Galaxy that became the actual fic Back from the Future and I thought I had it all planned out. I was going to draft a fic about 11-12 year old Luke and Leia Skywalker having some summer adventure, meeting up with some of the Original Trilogy characters with different life stories living in this Brave New Future that Luke and Vader created. I had thought out some conflict points, was working on getting my characters in my heads, playing logic games about what and how people would be different in this new present when another idea hit me.

What if it wasn’t Vader that died killing off Palpatine when he and Luke faced him down with Fives, Chatterbox, and Hardcase? What if it had been Luke who died?

Sometimes I hate my brain.

Now I should be working on my Luke and Leia story (tentatively titled “Rogue Twins: a Skywalker Story” -- I know, I know, I am silly in naming my fics) but I cannot get it out of my head.

What would Vader do if Luke had died? And all I can think of is from Mace Windu’s perspective. (And I barely have any idea on how to write from his POV, his voice and character elude me!) But that is what I see. Mace trying to figure out what happened: the rogue Jedi Luke is dead killing Palpatine, but the Sith, he is still alive and the clones are hiding him/covering for him. No one knows where he is but there is a pile of suspicious bodies turning up and they are all turning out to be co conspirators of Palpatine. And Mace is trying to find him and following behind the destruction in Vader’s wake and he talks to everyone, one after another, always ten steps behind Vader.

Because Vader falls into a Pit of Despair. He has failed AGAIN. Oh, Padme has lived. He has twins-- no, Anakin has twins, Vader has nothing. He lives but his son is gone. His daughter was never his to begin with. His Padme is dead. The galaxy is in shambles and he is alone.

And the image won’t leave me alone when I should be working on the sequel, the domestic adorable sequel. Instead all my mind and my muse keeps giving me is angst. ANGST!

I see the 501st rallying around Vader. Luke’s students trying to do what Luke would have wanted them to do, protect and help support Luke’s father. Rex would finally distract Vader by doing what worked best for Luke: point Vader and his mountain of rage at an appropriate target and let Vader be. And so Rex reminds Vader of his plans for Tatooine and let us just say the campaign is bloody. It is shock and awe. It is brutal. It is what Vader was known for after 20 years of serving an Empire than never existed. The clones didn’t realize how much Luke tempered his father and so they try and fill the void as best they can in Luke’s honor.

I see the clones in general decide that Vader is adopted as one of them. That is what Luke would have wanted. When the Jedi Order comes calling, they don’t say anything. “Vader? Vader, who? Sith, you say? No, can’t say we’ve seen any Sith, General Windu. Not since the war ended. Perhaps if you provide a description?” And Mace will just give them the Eye, like really? A description? They guy’s image is plastered all over the holonet and you need me to give you a description. But no, the clones will not be helping the Order find Vader. Hells, they even try to warn him off. (99 would totally gently tell Mace off).

And the Council wants to find him. In unraveling Sith treachery and they have gotten it into their heads that that means hunting down the one wild card left-- Vader.

Obi-Wan isn’t interested in their Sith hunt at all. First of all he is helping Anakin and Padme and then he is on Mandalore and he is just done with all this shit, y’know? Anakin has severe PTSD (his son from the future is dead at the hands of his mentor, his Sith self is out and about in the galaxy with his men killing people) and Padme is not doing much better. Second, Obi-Wan in this story having actually watched the holonet vid of Palpatine’s and Luke’s death recognizes Anakin’s fighting style a light year away (he trained the boy for over a decade, he is not blind) and he knows who Vader is and what he must have lost. He cannot kill Anakin, any Anakin past, present or alternate future. He won’t do it. Not when Vader helped defeat Palpatine. He will not help the Council find Vader now when all Vader seems to be doing is taking out the last of Palpatine’s puppets with extreme prejudice.

But that doesn’t mean Obi-Wan doesn’t watch the news fearful of the day Vader crosses over the line. Because if he does, then someone will have to go after him and Obi-Wan fears that day and fears what the Order/the Force/Anakin/his own conscious may ask him to do.

So Obi-Wan doesn’t tell Mace anything, even when the man comes to Mandalore to talk to him and to Ventress trying to find out what Vader is up to. Obi-Wan doesn’t tell Mace who Vader really is/was.

And Ventress would laugh in Mace’s face. Outright laugh at the idea of Mace hunting down Vader and taking him out. She doesn’t mince words. Mace is a dead man if he challenges Vader. And Mace would be all “How do I know you’re not working with him, his apprentice? How do I know the Separatists haven’t just found a new leader and war is still going on and you are about to attack the Republic at its most weakest?”

And Satine is having none of this, you hear? There is PEACE. Luke insisted the war is OVER and his name and in his memory that is what they are going to have. She isn’t having anyone or anything jeopardize that even if it means going toe to toe with Windu and the Order. She throws him off the planet. He protests, Mace looks to Obi-Wan to support him or to leave with him. Hells, Mace looks to Vos to back him and his Council mandate up and both men are like, “No, no. We’re just fine. We’re staying right here. The Duchess said YOU have to leave. We are here to see the Reconstruction Accords signed, thank you very much.”

Mace then goes to Serrano. That doesn’t work much better than confronting Ventress. Vader isn’t there and Dooku makes it clear he has given his parole to Luke and he hasn’t broken it so there is nothing the Council can do to him. Dooku also points out Mace would be well served staying very very far away from Vader if he wants to continue breathing.

Mace doesn’t listen. He keep searching. He finally tracks down Senator Amidala (he is stonewalled and sent on wild goose chases for weeks by her aides and her friends and even Ahsoka!)

Ahsoka isn’t going to help. At first she thinks Vader has lost it without Luke by his side and is too dangerous to be left to his own devices, but then Tarkin shows up in pieces and other evidence surfaces of those willing to help back Palpatine and then news of Tatooine reaches the holonet and Ahsoka sees how it affects Anakin. She looks down at the twins in their crib and recognizes the rogue Jedi in the little baby boy asleep next to his sister. Nope, if she follows after Vader it will be to help him as Rex and the others clearly are, not to kill him for the Order. And since when did Jedi become assassins? Luke would definitely have something to say about all that!

The Noghri take Mace unawares when he tries to enter Padme and Anakin’s home one night. They decide not to wake the family and only bother to tell Padme of the intruder after breakfast the next morning. Padme insists she can handle it so Ahsoka and Anakin take the babies off on a picnic and Padme sits down to a reluctant meeting with Windu.

I don’t know where this story goes from here. I don’t know WHY I seem to have this in my head only from Mace’s perspective. I have always found him very very hard to write without dissolving into simply inappropriate “bashing” of a character. (The only one harder for me is Clone Wars/Prequel Obi-Wan, that man is like the Hamlet of the Star Wars universe). I don’t know why I can’t write this from Vader’s perspective. I don’t know why I can’t focus to write my true sequel with the Skywalker twins.

But I have this scene in my head of Windu facing Vader at some point in time. Perhaps Depa and her Padawan are with him. Perhaps some of Mace’s men are with him too (not sure how that works logically). Perhaps he has convinced them that he just wants to talk to Vader but it turns nasty and violent and Windu expects his troopers to help subdue Vader but Vader has the 501st with him and the troopers aren’t down with that, they aren’t down with that at all and there is a hell of a fight. (Or maybe that is too dramatic and silly and out of character but damn it, it is in my head).

Windu loses the fight and would have lost his head the way Dooku did in Episode III except something stays Vader’s blade. Some sense of something, or someone stops him. And then . . .

I don’t know. I just can’t seem to stop thinking about this alternate storyline but I am not sure any of it makes any logical sense. So the question is do I go down this rabbit hole and follow Vader alone without Luke wherever that story goes or do I refocus on my sequel?

Decisions. Decisions.

#star wars #vader strikes back #luke and vader save the galaxy

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astarsdarkheart · 7 years ago

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Luminesce

Medical facilities are sites of tremendous feats of tenacity and science. They are not usually sites for what appears to be some form of resurrection. Nor do they typically give rise to black holes in the Force.

A/N: Yup, Incandescence got expanded on. I liked the AU I'd posited too much to just leave it where it was, although I may have written myself into a corner on a couple of points precisely because Incandescence was originally meant to be a one-shot thing. But oh well, writing myself out of said corners might well provide a great deal of plot.

I'm still a little unsure about how Anakin's POV in Incandescence feeds into Obi-Wan's here, but it's going to have to be the way it is. It's not all about Anakin and his ideas, even if writing it that way would suit me fine.

Also on AO3 and Pillowfort.

Medical setting, reference to previous injuries.

Easy to tell himself that it made no difference that he’d not finished the job on the banks of the river of molten rock. Easy to tell himself that even had Anakin regretted his actions and pledged his allegiance to the Jedi ideals again, there was no way for him to atone for all the atrocities his cold metal hand had shaped. Easy to tell himself that there was no way to know that Padmé would have emerged unscathed from the encounter had he not been there to draw Anakin’s rage in a different direction.

He turned away from the window into the medbay, lifting a hand to support his head as he sighed. There is no emotion, there is peace. He had to calm himself. Why was it so easy to say those things, to echo truths he’d heard from every wall in the Temple for years on end, and so difficult to believe any of it?

Think, you clod. No human – not even one of Tatooine – can survive the conditions on Mustafar for long. All the younglings dead, so many Jedi dead by his treachery if not by his hand – what could he ever do to wash the blood off his hands after that? And what could Padmé have done if he’d flown into that rage with only her nearby to take it out on? I doubt she could have so much as tried to kill him...

As if he were any different. He’d had Anakin at his mercy, a defenceless breathing corpse slowly charring to pieces, and he’d –

No. Not defenceless. He shook his head, fingers tightening on his temples as he sighed. Anakin – or whatever odious title his new master had given him – had learnt enough of the Dark Side already to know how to strangle someone with it. Did it matter that he’d most likely not been thinking clearly any longer once Obi-Wan had cut him down? That the pain of dismemberment and the scorching rock below him might well have overridden any attempt at thought that Anakin had been given to?

Force preserve him, Anakin was lost. He forced himself to turn back to the medbay window. The droids moved in jittery bursts around Padmé. Intermittent beeps and buzzing noises rang through the wall. The droids had no facial expressions or living Force presences for him to read, but Padmé’s presence was growing no stronger, no more assured.

Focus. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. Padmé had still been stable when he’d brought her to Polis Massa, if weak. Why was there no improvement? His gaze flickered towards the elevator at the end of the corridor. If the droids found something they weren’t equipped to deal with, that was the route any additional droids would arrive by. Right now, the lights weren’t flashing, the elevator wasn’t moving; no backup had been summoned. The droids had no cause to believe their abilities were insufficient. And yet... no improvement.

The door to the medbay slid open. One of the droids emerged, hesitating until Obi-Wan lifted his gaze. “Medically, she is completely healthy.”

He nodded. As expected, even if something clearly wasn’t right. The droid carried on, slowing its words. “For reasons we cannot explain, we are losing her.”

Obi-Wan blinked. His brow tightened as he looked back at Padmé. One might have thought her already dead if not for the flashing pulse indicator above her, and there were no Jedi Healers to be found here. There is no passion, there is serenity. One could call the unconscious woman serene, perhaps. But for her to die thanks to Anakin’s fall...

A loud buzz from along the corridor made him jump. The droid drifted back inside the door. “We have not requested additional support.”

Obi-Wan frowned as his gaze shifted from the droid to the source of the noise, the elevator at the end of the corridor. The lights were flashing now. The elevator was rising through the floors of the medical facility. That couldn’t be a fluke. There is no chaos, there is harmony. He shut his eyes, breaths slowing as he sank his mind into a state as close to empty meditation as he could manage on such short notice, seeking some sensory purchase beyond the walls.

Red lightning slammed into him, shocking his eyes open. The whole world lit up blue-white with a roaring fire like the depths of a star. One wrist blazed under his weight as he crumpled, the other hand tight around his temples, pressing in on the fire in his skull.

For a moment, every sense was filled with a presence so raw and blinding that his composure cracked and from another star system he heard himself gasp.

“Master Jedi? Are you well?”

He shook his head. His ribs struck his lungs like a Falling Avalanche blow just to push the air out. Sith kriffing hells, what had he sensed?

He blinked and shook himself. Both hands on the floor to push himself upright. He couldn’t reach out again. Even trying to restore his baseline sensitivity, that casual awareness of his surroundings and their patterns in the Force that all Jedi learnt to maintain, brought the blaze back into his bones like it lived there.

He put one hand to the wall and forced himself to blink. The lights by the elevator had ceased to flash. He had to squint to focus on the door as it slid aside.

The figure that stepped out... His eyes widened, and with the influx of light the figure only blurred. But whoever – whatever – it was, it was familiar.

It shouldn’t have been. If he’d seen something like this before... surely he’d have remembered.

The figure drew closer, long, powerful strides that brought it close enough to stand over Obi-Wan far too quickly. A dark robe worryingly reminiscent of the Jedi cut hung draped over broad shoulders. Strimlets of burn-edged fabric shifted below the robe. Easier to look at the broken remnants of whatever clothing this searing creature had once worn than its face.

The figure’s presence made the air remarkably cold. Alarming, with the hand not covered by a dark leather glove appearing to be made of some trickster fire.

He bit together and forced himself to look up. There was a human face there somewhere, below the skin seared to charcoal and flickering facets of that inconsistent trickster fire. Red and blue and green in shifting glimmers. His eyes couldn’t find purchase on any of it.

“Obi-Wan.”

He jumped at the sudden words. Soft, drawn from a deeply damaged voice box. So this... being was familiar, somehow. Somehow. “Yes.”

“Why did you come here?” Something twitched around what had to be the creature’s eyes. “To a medical facility?”

Is this thing tracking me? Another of the Sith Lord’s... Obi-Wan’s jaw clenched, but he couldn’t prevent his gaze flicking sideways towards the medbay window.

The creature’s head turned. The flickering fire behind the ice of its skin froze in violet.

Something like a tidal wave crashed against the fragile walls Obi-Wan had raised for the first time since he’d become a Padawan, knocking them aside to bring the crying out of the wounded Force coursing through his veins. He fell together against the window as the figure exploded, past him before he could blink and next to the medical droid that hovered anxiously in the door with only a hissing whisper left behind: “I won’t lose her.”

Not just tracking him, then. Familiar with Padmé Amidala too. But how –

The figure froze in the doorway and turned to face Obi-Wan again, stalling his thoughts as his breath caught. A spark-filled hand lifted, fingers outstretched. Something tugged on Obi-Wan’s belt. His hand went to contain the tremor, but the lightsabre he’d picked up off Mustafar’s hot earth snapped off its clip and spun across the intervening paces to settle in the creature’s hand. It vanished underneath the creature’s cloak, and without a word the burning figure turned and stepped through the door.

His chest folded in as the air vanished from his lungs. How had he not... Force give him strength, he’d raised the boy since he was nine... and there is no death, there is the Force.

He lifted his head to look into the medbay. The still violet flames began to flicker again as the figure bowed over Padmé, one hand reaching out to brush her cheek.

“Anakin...” He shook his head, putting one hand flat against the window, half a surrender. “What have you become?”

The Jedi limit, the Sith embrace. For millennia the Jedi have forbidden certain techniques, quashed the undogmatic thought that its younger, brighter members are so often inclined to. They harbour a particular distaste for ‘relativists’, those who claim that darkness only manifests itself in the mind of a Force wielder, not in a true ‘Dark Side’ of the Force. As such, there can be no forbidden use of the Force, no ‘Dark Side ability’, because the Force has no such divisions.

A well indoctrinated Jedi Knight will recite by rote that those who believe that any action can be taken so long as their intent is pure will soon come to believe their intent is always right. They continue to believe that this can be counted as a counter-argument – as if to suggest that the flaw lies in always believing one is right does not indicate a darkness in the mind, independent of any darkness that may exist in the Force.

And as if their own insistence that their way is the only way to truly understand the Force does not provide a spectacular example of the very failing they claim will be the end of any relativist who rises in their ranks.

In the end, what does the Force care? It spans worlds, galaxies. It ties the burning kyber heart of a star to the little shifting, shaking nodules of life that crawl and grow on these eternally collapsing spheres we call homes. It is in every living creature and every mote of astral dust in between them. How much can the Force care – if it has enough of a mind to care at all – about things like the darkness in an individual mind, or whether its power is used in a way that some self-appointed guardians of that power have deemed righteous, when it already contains so much, more than any mind could ever truly comprehend?

The Force lives within us all, yes. But does a single one of us matter on our own?

Obi-Wan had taught himself a variety of meditation exercises over the years, many of which were variations on moving meditation easily possible to conduct even in tense situations that required immediate readiness. But try as he might to settle his mind, he couldn’t tear his attention away from the figure that stood over Padmé – whatever remained of his old apprentice.

There had to be more under that loosely gathered robe than what had remained of Anakin’s body, though. Force preserve him, he’d taken off three limbs – mou kei had always been considered taboo in the Temple’s training rooms, but how many choices had been left to him? Anakin should not have been able to stand at his old height. And he still carried the burn wounds that Mustafar’s acid landscape had given him.

How had he not died from it?

His glowing form was stationary over Padmé now. The colours of the trickster fire ran hotter, scarlet and yellow hiding the damage that Obi-Wan had done.

He sighed and let his hand fall from the window. The thought of removing what little protection his mind had against the overwhelming power contained within Anakin – whatever dark abyss that power had come from – made him shiver. But as... alarmingly intense as that power was, it had spoken to Obi-Wan’s own ability in the Force. How was he to understand any facet of it, save by letting his own ability in the Force guide him? He could only hope that the sheer luminescence of... whatever Anakin had become wouldn’t tear his mind to pieces.

He shut his eyes. He had to maintain control. If anything else distracted him from this, it could leave him far too exposed.

The presence beyond the wall swallowed up any trace he might have felt of Padmé, of the still forming lives she carried. He winced as searching thought brushed the edges of the consuming presence at the centre of everything – such wild, storming threads of life and death woven together in something entirely unlike any life form he’d ever encountered. Unlike what Anakin had been, before the Dark Side had taken root in him and changed his presence from the lightning-lit storm cloud to a tumultuous, tearing corruption of the boy Obi-Wan had raised.

Did he live at all? He shouldn’t have been able to. Qui-Gon had found some way to retain a presence in the Force – Obi-Wan had heard his voice many times in deep meditation – but that wasn’t what Anakin had done. If this had anything to do with –

His eyes opened as he drew in a shuddering, gasping breath. Force preserve him, he couldn’t keep thinking of Anakin as he’d thought he knew the man. He’d knelt to a Sith Lord, taken up a title that had begun with barbaric sorcerers practising necrotic magic millennia ago, and then... everything that had been said and done on Mustafar...

And whatever had brought Anakin here now, it wasn’t a sudden change of heart and a return to Jedi ideals. Not with that chaotic maelstrom of power drawing everything else that Obi-Wan should have been able to sense into its black hole.

The Sith code, from what Obi-Wan remembered, was one centred on gaining power. If the Chancellor – Emperor, though thinking of Palpatine that way brought bile to his throat – hadn’t shown himself the ideal of that code with his coup... and now here stood Anakin Skywalker, the Hero with No Fear, the Republic’s saviour, his old Padawan and former brother in arms, his mockery of a body bathed in a power the mere awareness of which made Obi-Wan stagger.

Below the white sheet, Padmé’s body shuddered. Anakin’s glowing hand moved away from her. But he still hovered, looming like a predator.

Obi-Wan shook his head and pushed the droid out of the way to stride into the room. Anakin lifted his head as Obi-Wan froze just inside the door.

He took a deep breath and folded his arms, hands hidden in the sleeves of his robe. “Anakin.”

“Yes.”

The words caught in his throat. He let his gaze fall to the floor and sighed. “Why did you come here?”

No answer. In the silence of a thousand sounds just out of his hearing, Obi-Wan lifted his head.

He couldn’t make out the colour of Anakin’s eyes behind the jumping fire contained in the cold glass that looked to be all that was holding Anakin’s wild being together.

“You were here.” An incredulous breath. Anakin shook his head. “Where else would I go?”

“You shouldn’t have survived this long after I left you...”

The air clenched a fist around Obi-Wan, making his breath wheeze out. The trickster fire imitating flesh darkened to blood-red as Anakin turned his head, away from Padmé on the sickbed, away from Obi-Wan. Shaking himself, he managed to draw in enough air to gasp out, “Not even with Sith abilities...”

“Sith abilities did not save Sidious.”

Obi-Wan reeled back from the venom in the hissed words. The air softened, though Anakin didn’t look back at him. At least, he didn’t lift his head. Obi-Wan still couldn’t focus on any feature long enough to discern a facial expression.

In a time now lost to him entirely, he wouldn’t have needed to read an expression to sense something of Anakin’s thoughts. But now his sheer presence overwhelmed everything.

“Sidious... came to Mustafar?”

Anakin nodded. “The Emperor is dead.”

Obi-Wan shuddered. That... simmering anger below the iced-over words... what the Council had feared all along. That Anakin would never learn the control that he needed, to be a Jedi. Never learn to be at peace.

So the Sith apprentice had killed his Master. Obi-Wan took a deep breath that shuddered through his throat. How can you stand here and talk to a Lord of the Sith – one who has become a black hole in the Force – so calmly? To even let Anakin stand there – never mind how he was standing at all – was flirting with catastrophe.

But how much more catastrophic could matters become? The Republic had already fallen. Sidious’ death had come days too late. Now they lived under an Empire without any authority, any peace keepers. Without any Jedi. Even if Anakin had lived, found a way to cheat life like this... where was Obi-Wan supposed to go?

Where are any of us meant to go? War between clones and droids was bad enough. Now... it may be every bared throat against a thousand knives.

“You don’t seem pleased.”

Obi-Wan started, lifting his gaze to Anakin and his tilted head. “The Republic... it’s already gone.” And you were the hand that choked the last life out of it... “What will killing the Emperor do now but plunge the galaxy into yet more chaos?”

“It has put an end to his schemes.”

He wanted to argue, to explain to his old Padawan that it couldn’t be that simple, but the words failed to form. He shook his head, every other process stalled in his mind.

A rolling gasp broke the silence. Obi-Wan’s gaze snapped across to Padmé, shuddering under the sheet. Anakin’s gaze followed his, and once again the trickster fire froze.

One of the medical droids was over the distressed – but alive – woman in an instant. After a few moments of whirring and buzzing, the droid lifted its head – inasmuch as the optics casing counted as a head. “She is stabilising, but it appears that she has gone into the early stages of labour.”

Burning ice burst out of Anakin with a force that slammed Obi-Wan back against the wall. Blinking hard against the flashes in his vision, he saw Anakin return to stand over Padmé, his gloved metal hand folding into Padmé’s grip.

For a creature that seemed to swallow every shard of the Force around him, Anakin’s presence remained so... luminous. It burnt through Obi-Wan’s eyelids as he crumpled together, unable to take in anything more than the blaze in the Force.

#holocron data #star wars #fic #jama's fic #luminesce #in morsum ardeo

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scriptscribbles · 8 years ago

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I know you didn't reblog it but I saw an ask post on my dash about "5 things you'd change about a TV show/book/fandom if you could" and it seemed like something you may like doing sooooo (1/2)

I give you: Davies Who, Moffat Who, Sherlock, Game of Thrones, ASoIaF (as a separate 5 things to the show), Star Wars, aaaaand Class for good measure. Have fun! 😉

Thanks, anon! This sounds fun!

Davies Who

Donna remembers. I don’t care how. Just, not this violation of her agency.

Use Donna to call Ten’s hubris out.

Kill Queen Victoria. It was the original plan for series 2, and it works far better for the story arc. The whole thing is about consequences for Ten and Rose and their behavior, them creating Torchwood through their irresponsibility, but as is I think it lacks the sting.

Have Rose not end up with the Doctor. I know, they’ve got star-crossed true love and all that. But I think part of what made them compelling was that they were so gleefully, ignorantly doomed. They were grinning and laughing and flirting from battlefield to battlefield and there’s a wonderful contrast in that. But they also need to face the consequences. I think something like Hell Bent for them would be better, something pushing Rose to realize that it’s in her best interest to leave him even as it breaks her own heart. I think the parallel world stuff is good, though, particularly since Jackie ends happy.

Give Mickey and Martha their own stories in their episodes. Let them be appreciated more for their own strength rather than sidelined by the Doctor’s dismissive attitude. And, uh, don’t have them randomly in a relationship out of nowhere. Build it up or don’t do it. Also, have Martha remain a Doctor rather than a soldier.

Moffat Who

I hate calling for monster returns, but a story of something like the Mara for Amy in series 7A or 6B. Something to suggest the trauma she’s had and the abandonment through surreal imagery. Stuff like Asylum of the Daleks or The God Complex acknowledges it well, but I want more. It’d be even better if she realizes she’s being taken over early but struggles to tell the Doctor or Rory because she’s afraid of them dismissing her. Moffat’s really good at inside head stories so it’d work well I think, particularly if they got Hurran in for it like so many in that era did.

Show us River’s wives. Clara and Jane Austen. Canton’s husband. I know these things are incidental to the plot, but the representation means so much more when you can see it. I love it as it is but I do think more is called for and is a reasonable request.

Cast something other than white people in The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People. Like, I think it’s a really underrated script, but a story about the plight of the oppressed needs a diverse cast, and it just utterly fails that.

Paternoster spinoff. Let it be the SJA to Class’ Torchwood, eh? They lend themselves so much to silly adventures, and they provide amazing representation. Only hurdle I could see is in their heavy makeup work, but I’m sure there’s ways around it, like Strax wearing the Sontaran helmet or Vastra her veil.

Get Davies back for an episode. I know Moffat’s tried, but, like, try harder. Please?

Sherlock

Make the nature of Irene’s sexuality and her attraction to Sherlock clearer because that discourse is hell

Reduce the quantity of not-gay jokes. They do make sense in acknowledging a long history of speculation and I don’t think they need to be excised entirely, but there is a bit too much

Kill John instead of Mary. It’d change up the shape of series 4 a fair bit, particularly given Mary has far less aversion to killing and would probably make quicker work of Eurus’ puzzles, but there’s gotta be stuff to be done with that. Perhaps her not being willing to kill anymore after seeing John shot? That could be interesting. I dunno. I just feel like, good as series 4 was, there’s a better version where John takes Mary’s place and Mary John’s.

More Sally. I know the actress was unavailable for series 3, but it’s a huge blow in diversity to a show that has basically none.

Cut The Blind Banker.

Game of Thrones

Get rid of all straight white men in the writing staff. Let me be clear, there is nothing inherently bad about someone being straight, white, or a man. But as there is so much ignorance towards intersectional issues in a text that needs to be aware of and critiquing them (something Martin generally does well in the books and is sort of a main point of the series), that needs to be shaken up.

Stannis would never burn Shireen and that was the dumbest plotting decision ever. No. Just no. Now, his wife, she would. Melisandre would. His soldiers would. But he wouldn’t. Seeing him pressured to burn his daughter or else the troops will leave him for not being sufficiently devoted to the red god could be a good way of keeping the beat while removing the out-of-character side to it. But as it is it just does not function. At all.

More of Sam’s book scenes. The show gets a bit too fixated on the upsetting material, upping torture and violence to extreme levels, when some of the strongest material is in the quieter character work. Sam and Gilly taking the boat south is one of those.

A different direction for Sansa. I’m not saying keep her in the Vale and out of the plot, I get why that’s an issue. But don’t subject her to Ramsay. Or to rape. Actually, too much Ramsay is easily one of the show’s biggest problems. They seem to think he’s compelling because he’s awful, but instead he’s just awful.

Make Dorne the planners like they are in the books. The show has gotten so much drama out of the likes of Littlefinger and Varys, surely the plotting of Dorne like in the books could make for excellent television. I’m not saying it needs to be the same as it was in the books, there are changes for a reason. But they were changed in the show to the most ridiculous and incoherent thing yet.

ASoIaF

Cut characters/plotlines. Yes, they all have thematic points to make. No, that does not make them all good storytelling. Many of the strands could be condensced, combined, or cut entirely. Not to say the show is the best example of that, just that there is sound logic in changing it because it just doesn’t flow as a story.

If you have to keep alluding to the sexual violence and critiquing it, please muster more sympathy for the victims. Would it hurt, for example, to have a PoV chapter for Shae, right at the end, so we know who she is? Or for Jeyne to get some agency rather than focusing just on Theon?

Have some victories. So many of the plotlines are subversions of classic narratives, like with Robb or Quentyn or Ned’s downfalls. But there comes a point when it gets too repetitive. There’s other twists stories can take that also build in the drama of the world. And if they’re so important to subvert, a standalone novella might be a better approach. For now the amount of these dead-end plots clutters an already chaotic series to make the pacing turgid and the overall scope confusing. Plus, the basic pleasure of telling a story involves victories as well as twists and horrific fates. I know this series is about subverting those pleasures, but it should do that by also finding new pleasures in unexpected places.

Deliver on teased developments. I know a lot of that’s a problem because A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons are transitional pieces to get the characters in the right place after the climactic events of A Storm of Swords, but it means after five very long books we are still reading setup for things we have been expecting for literal thousands of pages, with new characters dropping in for even more setup. It makes the books frustrating to read at times. And saving all the shocking twists in all the storylines for the end of each of the books just makes it even tougher going.

More of the original cast. The series keeps adding in new characters, and while many of them are indeed interesting, it’s frustrating when Sansa, Jon, Daenerys, and Arya’s arcs are all grinding to a halt and their chapters become increasingly spread out. At the very least, if you’re going to keep adding PoV characters, do it like, say, Brienne was done. Have them expand from a prominent character’s storyline and then branch off into their own. Like, I love Jon Connington, but the man is utterly disconnected from basically everything. And there are so many disconnected plotlines now that many of them barely move at all.

Star Wars

Erase every racial stereotype alien

Poe kisses Finn on the forehead or something while he’s unconscious in The Force Awakens. Maybe an “I love you.” I need it for reasons.

No kid!Anakin or kid!Anakin flirting with Padme.

Either make Padme or Obi-Wan the main character of the prequel trilogy. Padme is a more interesting angle to see Anakin lose it from I think, and has better access to the political storyline Lucas clearly wants to tell. And Obi-Wan gets a lot of the most compelling material, his plot in Attack of the Clones in particular feeling like a hint of a far better film.

Cut the Bodhi interrogation stuff toward the beginning of Rogue One. Just have the pilot talked about a lot like they do and have them not actually meet him until the cell. Because as is, he breaks up the first act’s pacing quite badly and distracts too long from Jyn’s story.

Class

Less dialogue. I love a lot of the dialogue, but the show really needs more showing and letting the actors emote.

Make the two-parter one part. As it is the pacing just does not work at all.

Put Detained before the heart stuff. At the moment, the characters take too long to come into focus, not really doing so until Detained. It’s a good opportunity to take an already dysfunctional group, identify their flaws and tensions, and make that a focus of the series earlier on.

A different approach to the Shadowkin. Commit to an approach. Are they comedically rubbish? Terrifying menaces? A parody of toxic masculinity? An othered evil species? They don’t quite hit right and that hurts the plot arc. Also, their voices are edited poorly and that makes them hard to hear.

Promote the damn thing. Air it in a reasonable way in a reasonable hour when people will actually see it. Don’t just cut it loose and expect the Doctor Who brand will save it. If it utterly fails to get renewed, it’s down to how poorly it was promoted.

#anonymous #replies

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