#trent alexander angst

[judeslove]

exposed

pairing - jude bellingham x gn!reader genre - fluff, a bit suggestive warnings - swearing, intended lowercase summary - this req author’s note - i didn’t really know which one to pick so i just combined them :) also this is written with the english squad !!

you were driving jude to training. the stadium was only a few minutes away, which was great.

you both stepped onto to the pitch, you settling onto the bench when jude jogged towards the grass. you opened your phone, checking your social media.

“what’s that on your back? are those scratches?” trent asked while a grin grew on his face. jude’s face became red from embarrassment. he quickly put his shirt back on while giving trent a nudge in his shoulder.

“fuck off” jude mumbled jokingly while winking to you. you let out a giggle, making jude smile.

eventually the boys were called to come to the coaches in order to start. their training went smoothly.

—

the sound of boots against the floor gave you shivers. you waited in the changing room for jude. as you were scrolling through tiktok you heard a familiar voice.

“you need to cut your nails” jude joked. you looked up from your phone and smiled at him.

“oh yeah?” you playfully giggled. jude took a glance at your lips. you couldn’t help but to admire all his features. they were covered in sweat, as he didn’t shower yet but it somehow made him more attractive.

jude’s index finger made it’s way to your chin, pulling you in. his lips were soft against yours, making you want more. you felt your breath shorten while you placed your hands on his neck. suddenly, the door swung open, revealing a disgusted phil foden next to an amused jack grealish.

“ew get a room” phil shouted. as you pulled away you hid yourself in jude’s chest from embarrassment. jude could only chuckle, feeling the heat of your cheeks against his chest.

“it’s not like you’d ever get a girl” jude argued. phil just rolled his eyes while mumbling a whatever, eventually leaving you two together while exiting the room with jack.

you and jude just laughed before leaving aswell.

💌 judeslove on tumblr.

[judebelle]

trent being a clingy needy bf? xx

menace - t.a.a. x reader

a/n : i’m so fucked w finals season but it’s almost break for me 😇 just gotta make it thru this week 😞 also i made this a drabble SORRYYYY but i think this is better short and sweet!

cw : swearing, clingy trent obv, reader getting increasingly more annoyed throughout the course of the fic, sexual insinuation, fluff

pairing : trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

wc : 704

---

it started off as bearable, but god, as the day progressed, you couldn’t deal with him anymore.

the him being sir trent alexander arnold.

it had just so happened that you and trent had aligned a few days off at the same time. this was a rare occurrence since your busy schedules kept you swamped 25/8.

this was the first of many days off. you just needed to get some things done around the house, but trent had other plans.

you almost took up his many offers to just lay in bed all day, but you knew you would feel better if you got things done first.

of course, trent wasn’t making this easy on you.

“c’mere, beautiful,”

“please stay here, just for a few minutes.”

“so sleepy, just nap with me for an hour, please!”

you had to resist the urge to physically roll your eyes at his constant pestering. you had to put your foot down and stop him before you ended up giving in.

“no, trent! i have to finish some things up, i’ll be done soon.”

he was still cuddled up in the bed when you finally left the bedroom to head to the kitchen. you began putting away clean dishes and cleaning the counter tops. as you wiped it down, you felt two strong arms wrap around your waist.

“y/n come back to beddd~” trent whined while propping his head on your shoulder to get a better look at what you were doing that was so important. you could feel him kiss his teeth when he saw you cleaning.

“i said, wait. if you keep annoying. me, it’s just gonna take longer!” you groaned when he didn’t let go of your body. “trent, let go. i need to go get-“

“you look so sexy in these shorts, just come back to bed.” you felt his hands slide down to cup your ass.

you rolled your eyes, a smile forming on your cheeks. “you can’t seduce me into going back into bed!” you sing songed as you turned to face him. his arms had you trapped in between him and the counter. he still his droopy eyes and his hair was a little frizzy.

you swiftly ducked out of his grip from under his arm and headed to your office, turning on your computer to print a few things. you heard the soft shuffling of socks on the floor, and low and behold-

“can you just come back, pleaseee!”

“stop it! how old are you? just give me a few minutes.” you had started to whine like a two year old, his complaints giving you a headache.

you placed the papers down and pushed past him to go to the living room, cleaning up blankets and books laying around. you grabbed the watering can and started tending to your wilting plants. all of a sudden-

“ah- get off me! trent! let go, now!”

your feet were hovering over the floor thanks to your boyfriend who had had enough of waiting. he threw your body over his shoulder easily and walked towards the bedroom.

you kicked your legs around, trying to wriggle out of his grip. you slumped against him when your efforts to escape from his death trap went in vain.

“this isn’t funny, y’know?”

he chucked despite your comment. “i can’t wait any longer, sorry.”

a stubborn smile broke across your face before he threw you onto the bed. you bounced onto the fluffy mattress with a gasp. “trent!”

he giggled softly before throwing himself down on top of you. “oww, trent you’re not light!” you found yourself laughing as he kissed your neck.

“shhh, just wanna cuddle.” he reached over and pulled the duvet over the both of you, wrapping his arms around your waist. he eventually let you breathe by rolling onto his side a little bit. you finally gave into his touch with a sigh, throwing your leg over his hips.

you reached your arms around his neck and nuzzled your head into his chest, his scent all over his wrinkled shirt.

“god, you’re a menace, you know that?” you laughed into his embrace and he responded by hugging you tighter.

“you love it.”

[deartrent]

a valentine's exchange — taa

summary: when valentine's day comes to an end, it's your turn to give trent your own kind of treat

warnings: contains smut (18+, mdni)

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x fem!reader

notes: this was kind of rushed and a day too late sorry!

"thank you for today," you'd just come back from the most dreamy valentine dinner date, something you didn't even know trent was capable of coming up with, let alone organise.

"anything for you baby," you both crashed on the bed, one of trent's arms around you as you cuddled into his side. he looked extra fine today, you couldn't tell if it was the all black fit he'd picked for today, your favourite cologne dripping off of him or the fact he'd dedicated the entire day to spoiling and treating you. you couldn't have imagined a better first valentine's day with trent.

he insisted that valentine's day was all about you and as you'd been dating for a little under a year, you quickly realised his love language was gift giving, taking any opportunity to spoil you rotten, just to show you how much he loved you.

you still felt guilty though, not having any surprises in store for him, on a day that is all about showing love. just once you wished you could pay him back, but you also knew you had nowhere near the capacity to ever gift him the way he gifts you.

you had to get creative and while trent was getting ready for bed—or so he thought—you changed out of your dress and slipped into a black lingerie set you kept for special nights like these. trent didn't ask, but you knew from the looks, the kisses and the subtle touching that he wanted more, and you were going to give him just that.

trent walked out of the bathroom, unaware of your plans as he turned off the bathroom lights and looked up to see you standing in front of your shared bed, your hands on your waist. a smile formed on trent's lips at the sight of you, slowly walking your way as he took in your frame, "what's happening here?" trent towered over you, a smirk on his face. you smiled back at him proudly, looking at him through your lashes, "it's my turn to spoil you," you lifted your shoulders, placing your hands on his waist as you held onto his shirt.

trent simply watched, anticipating your next move. you had no idea what you were doing, you just knew you had to blow his mind to reward him for giving you a valentine's day you could have only dreamed of. you slowly lifted his shirt over his head, trent assisting you, "i loved your outfit, but i love this more," your warm hands traced over trent's abs, all the way down, as you lowered yourself until you were eye level with his growing bulge. trent stood confidently, chewing on his bottom lip, growing impatient from your teasing.

you struggled to pull trent's sweatpants down, freeing his cock from the tight space in his boxers. you stifled a laugh, excited about pleasuring the man in front of you, whose eyes turned dark with lust. his cock twitched in front of you, as though it was screaming to be touched. you rose from a crouch onto your knees, one of your hands wrapping around the base of his shaft, as you spat onto his tip, your hand moving up to spread the natural lubricant over his tip, trent groaning at the sensitivity.

you loved teasing trent, seeing him in distress and eager to feel your touch gave you a sense of power and dominance you craved every once in a while.

your tongue circled around trent's tip, leaving kisses every now and then to get him as riled up as possible. trent struggled to keep his eyes open, his lips parted as soft moans and groans escaped, occasional curses leaving his throat. you knew it wasn't going to be long until he would take over, his naturally dominant nature surfacing. you didn't mind though, you loved trent being in control, but for now, you just wanted to see how far you could really push him.

with a soft grip around his base, you repeatedly tapped his cock against your tongue, holding eye contact as you watched him get weak under your touch. one of his hands moved to the back of your head, while his other hand held his shaft. you knew he had hit his limit when he slowly pushed himself into your mouth, your lips wrapping around his cock as you tried to take as much of him in as you could. your muffled coughs were trent's sign to pull back, your eyes shimmering with tears, a silent response to the tightness gripping your throat.

you took over from trent once again, your hands holding onto the back of trent's thighs as you moved your head at a quicker pace, attempting to take all of trent with each suck. the wet sounds of his cock pumping in and out of your mouth echoed through the room, mixed with trent's grunts. you quickened your pace, feeling trent's legs tense up. the precum leaking from his tip gave away that he was close to release.

you took a minute to catch your breath, wiping away the hair stuck to your tear-stained cheeks, while trent started jerking off, planning to release his cum all over your pretty face, "fuck," he cursed, his breath coming out in deep pants, his head tipping back a little, before focusing on you once again, "open your mouth for me," you silently obeyed, your hands still on trent's thighs as you opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue to catch every drop spilled from the head of his cock.

his strokes became faster but irregular, his groans becoming louder as his cum spewed out, marking your face and chest. coming down from his climax, the lust in trent's eyes didn't disappear as he helped you up, before turning you around, your back facing him. pushing you onto the bed, he got rid of your lingerie, the panties made of silk drenched with your wetness. you felt trent's hand on your back, pushing you further down as you arched for him, exposing to him what he'd been waiting for, "good fucking girl," trent mumbled just loud enough for you to hear, his hands brushing over the skin of your bum.

the tip of his cock grazed against your slit, your clit swollen and throbbing at the slightest contact. placing both hands on your hips, trent inserted himself into you, making sure to bury all of him inside, and keeping it there as you sunk your nails into the bedsheets, your eyes closing, your walls tightening around him. the force and pace of his thrusts increased and so did the volume of your moans, throwing around curse words as you cried out his name, not knowing whether you begged for mercy or begged for more.

"keep going," you were breathless, the pleasure almost too much as trent's hands held your waist, pulling you in with every thrust, his hips clapping against your bum with every pump, neither of you caring about how loud you were being, "fuck, oh my god-" you cried out, the climax building up inside of you almost unbearable to hold as your eyes rolled back into your head, "i'm gonna- fuck" you continued, your moans sounding like melodies in trent's ears, who started losing his pace as he reached his own climax. the final thrust threw you forward and if it wasn't for trent's grip, holding you in place, you would've fallen onto the bed.

trent plunged his cock in and out a few times, his cum leaking out of your pussy as he dragged himself out slowly, "fucking hell," trent collapsed next to you on the bed, his arm held out for you to join him, "that was fucking hot," he chuckled, as you cuddled into his side once again, your favourite place to be, "that was some going cross-eyed type of sex," you joked, sharing a laugh with the love of your life.

"you know that was my way of thanking you for today," you added, your hand resting on trent's tummy as you both stared at the ceiling. you heard trent snort, "remember the previous dates i took you? i think you forgot to thank me for those," you rolled your eyes, slapping his chest, before pushing yourself up, "you're not getting more out of me today, i'm exhausted." you tore yourself away from trent's warm body as you walked towards the bathroom to get cleaned up. trent intertwined his fingers behind his head, watching your naked figure disappear into the bathroom, a satisfied smile on his face, a content warmth settling in, his mind clouded with you.

and only you.

[afterglowsainz]

hi you said you were free to request someone you haven’t mentioned so i’m wondering if you’d be willing to write something for trent alexander arnold?? anything you won’t but i love angsty -> fluff

i look in people’s windows | trent alexander-arnold

summary: you struggle to move on from your break up with trent until one day you have to face him at your favorite coffee shop

warnings: none

word count: 1.2k

a/n: this wasn't very specific which was great (in a way) because the angst to fluff plot gave me an idea for my tortured athletes series! (i also didn't mean to make this so long, but i hope you enjoy it)

the tortured athletes department series

you're not proud to admit that you still stalk your ex-boyfriend's friends on social media just to see a glimpse of him. it wasn’t that hard considering that you live in liverpool, if you wanted to see his face you just had to go outside and he will be there in any billboard. but there was something more personal about casually watching him on someone’s post. sometimes you just look up liverpool’s account to see him during matches or making fun challenges.

you consider blocking him, blocking his friends and everyone else remotely associated with him, you even did it for two full weeks, but it was impossible not to see him everywhere you look. sure, he was not showing up on your phone, but he was in the streets, he was on the tv playing a game, or acting in a random commercial; he was even in the supermarket next to a product he was the face of.

trent alexander-arnold was absolutely everywhere and he was impossible to escape.

so you unblock him and everyone else and you just see him. not everyday, of course, you weren’t gonna get over him if you stalked his socials every day.  maybe once every week you look up one account, and then another, and then another, and you see him, and once you do you turn your phone off and do something else and maybe, you forget about him for a moment.

sometimes you wonder what would happen if your eyes met one more time. would you realize you got over him? would you fall back in love? would he even say hello?

“what can i get you?” the barista behind the counter asks you.

“hi, an iced vanilla latte, please.” you smile. the guy nods and charges you, moving quickly to the next client.

you sit down in a booth while waiting for your name to be called, and play with your phone in the meantime. suddenly, a huge shadow blocks the natural light that was hitting your face and you shift your face from your phone to the stranger who sits in front of you, only it wasn’t a stranger at all.

“y/n.” trent whispers your name with a smile.

you were a bit shocked to see him in person, like it was the first time you lay your eyes on him all over again.

“hey.” you respond. he chuckles at your lack of words.

“i knew it was you the second i heard your voice.” he points at the register. “an iced vanilla latte as always.” he repeats your coffee order and only then you register the situation.

before you have a chance to say something, you hear your name being called throughout the whole coffee shop, announcing your order was ready.

“stay there.” he says before you have the chance to even stand up. “i’ll go get it.” you didn’t know what to say so you just nodded and he made his way to the front, claiming your coffee and getting it to you.

“thank you.” you say when he was finally in front of you again.

neither of you say anything for a few seconds. you didn’t feel uncomfortable at all, but it did feel odd to be there with him, not saying anything.

“nice jacket.” you mention, just to fill the silence.

“you like it?” he unconsciously touch it and smiles at you like he always did.

“mhm, it's pretty.” you take a sip from your coffee.

“i haven’t seen you in a while. how are you?” he asks.

you were about to answer when you got interrupted again by the barista calling his name to get his coffee. he quickly made his way to the front and back, sitting in your booth in no time.

“what is that?” you ask with a grimace, looking at his order. it was some sort of juice? you couldn’t really tell.

“it’s a pomegranate lemonade.” he shrugs. you arch a brow and he shakes his head smiling. “don’t look at me like that when you drink vanilla flavored coffee.”

a laugh escapes your lips and you just agree, still confused by his drink of choice but not making any more comments.

“how are you?” he repeats his question.

“good.” you lie to him. “you?”

“bad.” he says.

“oh?” this took you by surprise. “what happened?” you try to remember if maybe he lost any big game recently or if something happened to any friend of his, but you can’t remember anything of relevance.

“i just…” he exhales and takes a sip from his lemonade. “i’ve been missing you. a lot, actually. a bit more everyday.”

your face grows hotter by the confession and you just look at him without reacting.

“why are you saying this?” you ask the first thing that comes to your mind.

“because.” he shrugs. “why not? i’ve miss you so much since we broke up i can’t think of anything else, and now i feel like i’ve think you so much i actually manifested you and now we're both at the same coffee shop at the same time, i mean, what are the odds of that, you know?” he rambles and you feel your heart beating in your throat.

to be fair, this was the same coffee shop you both used to go to while you were still dating. and you both still live in the same city. and you’ve been stalking him on social media so you might’ve manifested him as well by accident.

“you woke up brave this morning, didn’t you?” you joke lightly and the shadow of a smile takes over his lips. “i didn’t know you still think about me.” you say instead of confessing your feelings back at him.

“you’re not an easy one to forget.” his eyes clocked in with yours and you felt like everything was the way it used to be.

why did you even break up in the first place? looking at his chocolate eyes you couldn’t even remember anymore. you finally clear your throat to speak, but he interrupts you.

“you don’t have to say anything right now,” he pleads. “i don’t… if you’re gonna say something that’s gonna break my heart for good, i don’t think i’m prepared to hear it just yet.”

his eyes look away from yours, but you’re still watching him.

“i think about you too.”

your voice was barely a whisper, but it was loud enough for him to hear it and look at your eyes, straight into your soul.

“we should talk, no?” you knew he was battling a triumphant smile but he kept a straight face for you. you nod. “wanna take a walk?” he points to the window with his head, but you shake your head.

“it’s too cold outside.” you say and he laughs, shaking his head as well.

“you and cold.” he rolls his eyes amused.

“hey.” you slap his arm playfully. “i have sensitive skin.” you defend yourself.

at that moment you felt grateful for this little plot from destiny that had brought you and trent together again. you didn’t have to wonder ‘what if, you didn’t have to avoid seeing him downtown, you didn’t have to look into people's windows anymore. his eyes meet yours one more time, and now you know.

[anadiasmount]

promise - trent alexander arnold x reader.

quick sum: based on these two requests! best friends should always remain best friends. what happens when one has enough of the back and forth and begins to move on?

wc: 3k | masterlist | trent's masterlist

psa 🗣️: hi !! second trent fic as highly requested!! feel very proud of this one so i hope you enjoy!! did use promise by romeo santos ft usher bc i felt like it fit the plot 🤭🤍

trent watched from across the room, sipping on his whiskey observing the way you laugh and smiled at the stranger he didn’t know. he cleared his throat and scratched the his nose in annoyance as he watched you share a kiss, resting your forehead on his.

he felt a pan of jealousy override him, the feeling in his chest felt harsh and fire like seeing you with another man. everyone had their eyes on you, including the girl who sat in front of trent. you worse a sexy red dress, calling attention even from him.

how was it even possible for the two of you to be at the same place, at the same time? was it fate?

"you seem distracted. are you okay?" asked the woman in front of trent, he looked over at her giving her a fake smile, and nodded. "i'm okay, are you enjoying the food?" he asked cautiously, not wanting to make things more awkward than they already were.

he listened to what she said but his eyes kept going back to you and him. trent hated him, even without knowing him, he was angry because he got to do all the stuff that trent wished to do. he hid the bubble of frustration and anger, drowning the urge to go over and question you.

he knew it was partially his fault for letting you go, and that disappointed him even more. he pushed you away, lacked communication, and had commitment issues, when he promised so much. you deserved better and that was trent's only thought about when you were together.

you needed a man who'd be with you always and gave you love and support. trent was the opposite, always away for games, training, shoots, and interviews, he felt like he barely saw you towards the end of the day. trent felt like the relationship was one-sided to him, and he felt it was about him when with you.

even though there was no label, the feelings were clear. he loved you, and you loved him. he knew he loved you the first time he laid eyes on you, watching how you nervously struggled to say words but overall how dedicated, strong, and loving you were. you were a speaker and listener, which he admired.

you worked with kids a lot, earning your degree in education and speech development for kids. you were more than ready to settle down, but the hesitance within trent made him fear if he was truly "ready for more".

trent remembers the good and hard days, when you cuddled into his embrace and stroked his skin softly, pressing kisses all over his face, making dinner and cookies, watching re-runs of gossip girl, when trent felt most safe when he held you as you slept or said nothing and just stared into each other's eyes.

the bad days especially after a tough match, or he just didn't know how to handle things. where he didn't even spare a glance or word at you, leaving you hurt and confused. ignoring your calls or messages. shrugging your touches and words of comfort. not only did it sting you but also him.

trent quickly paid for dinner, grabbed the girls hand, and approached your table, where you sat with your legs crossed and sipped on your wine. you took a double take when you saw the familiar body approach you, feeling your skin heat up with nerves as you saw his dismounted look. 

you sat up straighter, giving fabian a nervous smile before speaking up. "trent, hi," you say very monotonely, glancing at the girl who matched almost similar to trent with a grey dress. "what are you doing, y/n?" he taunted, ticking his head to the side referring to fabian. you shook your head pleading to not start a scene. 

"fabian meet trent," you introduced stuttering standing up and him following your movements. the girl gave you a nasty look, wrapping her hand around trent's bicep in a protective manner, making your heart twinge with pain. "he's my-" you start.

"boyfriend. i'm her boyfriend." fabian cuts you off, coping trent's facial features in amusement, maybe even bewilderment. 

"uh..." you swift your head quickly, stunned and surprised by his words. you weren't anyone's girlfriend, so it confused you why he'd say that to trent. trent's brows perked up offering an enraged smile and licked his lips. "boyfriend huh? how come i didn't know this y/n?" trent asked, releasing his arm from her and crossing them across his chest. 

"trent, please not right now..." you begged, wishing you could've ignored him and pretended to be strangers again. trent easily got jealous, and you noticed it right away when you saw the irritation behind his brown eyes, jaw clenched and muscles tense. "just asking a question, y/n," trent shrugged, pursing his lips upside down nonchalantly. 

"outside, now," you said dragging him out before trent could continue his games any longer, and muttering a quick 'excuse me' to fabian who sat down. you felt deceived and overall embarrassed at his actions. who was he to demand questions when he threw all of it away? get jealous and angry when he wasn't even yours? 

"what do you think you're doing?" 

"i don't get it. you say we're done, but here you are moved on y/n?" trent spits out. "is that why initiated us to end? because you felt the need to be away and search for other options?" he continued stepping closer to you. you scoffed and bursted out laughing. 

"oh please! you can't be serious when you gave me the reason all along! you acted like a lost puppy and treated me like i was nothing. i tried, gave you my all, tried to support and be there for you and when i begged you for an ounce of attention you pulled away trent! im done with you, and us," you state feeling the knot in your throat build up as you spoke. 

you try to walk away but he wraps his hand around your elbow pulling you to him. "i'm not done." you try to push him away but he refuses, bringing his hand to the back of your head and hugging your waist, your struggles coming to an end when you smell the familiar cologne and sense of home in his embrace. “i’m done with playing games y/n… i swear this time.” 

“this time? or until you realize you're still afraid of commitment? i need a man trent, not a boy who will leave me when he pleases or gets scared. you proved to me who you were, and i don't want to tangle myself into that mess again…” you whisper, tears running down your cheeks as trent places small kisses on your head and below your ear. 

the words let out your mouth hurt trent, feeling his insides turn and anger disappear. all he wanted to do know was never let you go, beg onto his knees if that was what it took to plead and get you back. he’d do anything. 

your body felt tense and cold, wanting to be miles away from him, because you knew with trent you faced the reality of always wanting to come back. it wasn’t healthy, you gave him your all for him to push you away. “let go t…” 

“i can’t not now, or ever. please i’ll do anything…” 

“it’s too late, i need to move on from you or else i’m just bound to end up in the same cycle of getting hurt everytime i’m with you. It’s not fair… also what are you proving to me right now, hmm? that girl inside? who else is gonna come between us now? i can’t trust myself around you…” you let out, gripping his biceps and feeling the cool air between the space of both you as you pulled back. 

you sniffled and wiped your tears away, hands smoothing the dress and tucking you hair into place as the wind had blew. trent itched to pull you closer but he saw the mess he created in front of him. why every time he pulled back was because of this, afraid of hurting you. you were right, maybe it was too late. “i’m sorry trent, but i deserve to be happy after i moved heaven and hell with you…” 

“i want to be selfish y/n… it's taking everything inside me to drag you away and prove to you i have changed… that i won't walk away from you or us… i’ll say it now and repeat as long as it will take for you to be with me. i love you… i love so fucking much y/n,” he felt relief after holding in the words that tortured him every day since he left you. 

he loved you endlessly. the way your eyes shimmered when you laughed or smiled. held his hand and drew shapes to get rid of the nerves. he loved the charisma and energy you carried to be a new and stronger person everyday. he loved you because at the end of the day, you were his best friend and understood him like no one else did.

you scoffed out a laugh in disbelief, yet felt the hope and rushed feelings return when you locked eyes with him. “love? you don’t what that is. the love you claim to have left when i walked away,” you say with no remore, walking back into the restuarant before trent stops you again.

"y/n please. i'm being serious, just hear me out."

"so am i trent. when i say i'm done, i'm done. this isn't going to help, if you say you're a changed man then prove that to me. but right now you're the same trent i met and left me alone constantly," you felt your heart dragged out and painted along the sidewalk.

------------

you bit your lip in worry and desperation as you saw another bouquet of flowers and a small card on your desk, knowing exactly who they belonged to. you sighed and opened the card, reading it word for word before tucking into your desk drawer along with the others.

"red tulips symbolizes love and lust. i love you forever y/n." - trent

he'd sent a boquest of flowers each friday, everytime expalining their meaning and cofessing his love for you over and over again. not only that but he'd send small gifts to your flat, going from food, books, jewelry, or small frames that spoke to you. you had filled your rooms with all of them, not wanting to throw them away.

you shouldn't have kept the gifts, discarding them the chance you received them. but something inside always felt an attachment to him. unable to look away or smile when you saw a small box filled with goodies. it wasn't right especially when fabian was still in the picture.

"another bouquet?" asks your coworker, looking at them from your doorway. "erm yeah," you stutter, "seems like he wants to prove a point y/n... cause it's not only flowers he's sending also small gifts," she points out. "real question is, who are you going to pick at the end of the day..."

"i don't know," you say sitting on the chair leaning back and feeling frustration building in your head. you take a sip of water, trying to ooze the nerves and listen to your coworker. "go with the one that at the end of the day will cherish and honor you forever. the one who'd do anything and everything to be aside with you. because that's a good man."

you thought about what she said all day. her words taunting and making you shiver every time you thought of it. it followed you all the way home to your flat where you looked around and saw all of trent's gifts. you chuckle disgruntled, and remove your coat, getting ready for your date with fabian.

------------

"this isn't working for me y/n," fabian sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and clearing his throat. "i'm getting the sense either you're not ready or you're still stuck on someone from the past... and i need to know because i can't wait any longer," fabian laid the truth on the table.

words struggled to come out of your mouth, feeling defeated and overall disappointed. but fabian was right about something, struggling to move on from trent. he was all you thought about since that night at the restaurant. his pained look with tearful eyes. the way he held you along his chest begging you.

"is there someone in the past you haven't moved on from?" he asked carefully, leaning forward to where you felt your heart pump out your chest. how could you answer that without hurting him? he deserved better and here you were ruining that for him, after all along he treated you like a queen.

"fabian," you croaked giving him a small smile. that alone said enough for him, shaking his head while he tried to get rid of the wave of sadness. "you changed after that night. i don't know what he said to change your mind but if that's how you want to live your life, go for it. i'm not stopping you."

"you don't understand-"

"i don't understand? please let's be civil now y/n. you told me all this shit about him and here you are doing the same to me? you told me i made you happy, that you liked where we were headed. suddenly you're back to your old self who couldn't get over him," fabian expressed angrily and obviously hurt.

your stomach turned, reaching your hand out just for him to pull away. it felt unbearable, the misery and pain of once again losing someone in your life. the bile in your veins filled with venom, how many more would it take till you finally had your happy ever after?

"i thought you were it for me, but now i want nothing to do with you."

fabian got up from the table leaving with stained tears and embarrassment, people looking over and seeing you. you felt like you deserved it, after all you were the reason he was leaving you. with shaky hands and a heavy heart filled with sorrow, you paid and left to the only place you could think of.

"i hate you," you yelled once trent revealed the door. "i hate you so much trent," you cried out gasping for air throwing your clutch onto his sofa and facing him. "when there's finally something good in my life you go and ruin it!"

"y/n breathe... i don't understand-"

"i can't stop thinking of you or what you've said. and for that reason, i lost a man who truly deserved my time and love. i can't have or think of anyone because you're always in my head trent. i just need sanity and peace," you point to your heart, vision blurry as you feel him hold your arms.

"i feel trapped trent, under these stupid feelings i have for you. all of your flowers and gifts, messages and voicemails you leave? it drives me insane," you said sniffling as sinking further into his embrace once again. "fabian is done with me, all because i turned out to be the person who hurt me the most..."

"i didn't deserve to go through all of that. the way you treated me or never communicated what you felt? wishing an longing for your love and affection when i most needed it. even after supporting you through your tough times, promising to be with you forever? i hate it all..."

you struggle out a painful laugh, "i mean look where i am now, back into the place where all this mess started..."

trent had to hide the excitement and contentment he felt upon hearing you and fabian were done. all that mattered now was you were finally here with him, after proving to you, he was in it for all. if proving every day how much he loved and missed you took to get you back, he'd do it forever.

"no you're back home where you belong," trent corrected you, grabbing your face and frowning at your state. you looked completely hopeless and rained with energy, eyes low, and puffy lips from crying. "you're back with me. i meant what i said y/n, i'm proving to you that i want to be here for you..."

"i wake up every day hoping you text me or leave me those silly note drawings. i love you so much it hurts to see you like this because of me. i was an asshole to you then but i promise y/n, i will give you my all if that's what it takes to get to spend the rest of my life with you."

"to hear about how the kids were in your classes and what they did. to eat those amazing cinnamon cookies, to hear your laugh, to see your eyes widen when they bore into mine when we cuddle in the same bed. to be able to wake up next to you..."

"it hurts me too y/n. to see you don't love or even acknowledge what i'll do for you..." trent clamors out, still holding your face as his thumb brushes away the new fresh of tear the slid down your cheek. "i love you so much, im afraid it's too late for us and tomorrow you'll be gone."

a moment of silence passes between the two of you, hearing your ragged breaths and sniffles as you both take in the situation and what was occurring. heart beating out of each other's chest, and pulse-raising a mile high.

"it's not late..." you say with no reluctance, despite what happened trent did prove himself how much loves you. fabian couldn't ever see or read that from you, having to either ignore the signs or ask. trent knew you better than anyone else, and he knew right there and then, that hope still laid on the table. "say it... i need to hear you say it."

"its not late because i love you too trent... i think i always have and always will... i couldn't stand the fact you were with someone who wasn't me. so much needs to be changed and heard trent. i refuse for you to say all this and then go back to square one," you clarify, a sense of warmth towering over you as he smiled down at you.

"just promise me one thing hmm? that you won't give up so easily or walk away like i did. we will talk it out and solve it because i can't go through another span where you're not next to me here," trent says, tracing your lips with his thumb. "i promise trent..." you swore desperately nodding at his words.

trent closes the space, lips molding with yours as he takes a breath finally being able to kiss you. he wastes no time and pushes his tongue through your lips able to taste your sweet fondness. hands holding you tight as you completely let yourself be unrestrained and into the way he kissed you.

"i promise you y/n, this isn't bullshit. what we have is special, and i'll make sure you see that..."

[hypnotiiize]

𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘥𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥’𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘮

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: this is real old and angsty like not for fake. it’s short though. also i grew up catholic so u gotta bear w the lil references and shit. trigger warning religious talk kinda

She couldn’t remember much of the year if she was being honest. 

She could remember her best friends’ wedding.

She could remember Valentine’s day.

She could remember March and April breezing past her, a mixture of Easter and celebrating her friend’s birthday.

She could remember the drowsiness that overcame her in May. She could remember how it followed her well into June.

She could remember her friend’s baby being born, and she could remember smiling down at his tiny squished face.

And she was happy for them, she was. But, when she found herself in her newly quiet home at the end of the day, the reality remained that she was alone. Utterly alone. No one to turn to. No one to rely on. Alone. She felt that this was her fault. 

When her friend called and cried to her about new motherhood delivering a swift kick to her backside, she accepted the opportunity to stay with her friends for a few days, maybe even weeks— however long it would take for her friend to get back on her feet with a new addition to the household.

The record was three weeks. July was almost over. Amelie, ever-grateful, had even told her that she could go back home if she wanted. The woman, not wanting to overstay her welcome, accepted that as well.

She had been accepting a lot of things, it seemed. She would leave the following week, after the event that was planned meticulously for the baby.

It was when she was getting ready to go to sleep early— the baby had a habit of scream-crying at the break of dawn and she liked being up with him— that she received a knock at the guest bedroom door. Curious, she tip-toed across the room and found herself opening the door to reveal her tired friend whose smile grew as she rocked her fast-asleep son. [y/n] invited them in and grabbed the baby at once, sitting on the bed with his little body cradled in her arms. 

“Okay, I wanted to tell you so that you weren’t, like, bombarded with this,” Amelie began after a small chat about how the baby had just done something cute.

She involuntarily put pressure on her eyebrows, furrowing them together.

Amelie folded her hands in her lap. “You know his baptism is next week and you know you’re his Godmother, of course... I tried to talk Trent out of it, but he’s going to make you know who his Godfather.”

She could feel herself gasp at the mention of you know who. She definitely knew who. 

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I get it. And I get it if you’re not ready to see him. I can have someone else step in as his Godmother for the ceremony if you can’t do it. You don’t have to go to the party. What are you feeling?” Amelie asked.

She bit the skin of her bottom lip. She looked down at the almost two-month-old who looked so much like her friends that it was crazy. He was blinking up at her with his bottom lip poked out, looking scandalized. She laughed and rubbed the pad of her finger over his dark waves.

“I’m feeling a little overwhelmed… But I can do it. I don’t care about him. This is for my Godbaby. Right? This is for my Godson,” she cooed to the baby who half-smiled. 

“You’re sure?” 

“Sure. Yes. Yeah.” She was trying to convince herself more than anything and she knew it. “No one cares about that man, anyway. It’s just Rayan’s day..” The baby smiled as if he knew what they were talking about, and the women fussed over him a bit more. When the familiar weight pressed itself against her shoulders, She sighed. “I need a drink.”

“Go raid Trent’s cabinet, girl. You know he’s not shy about Don Julio,” her friend joked about her husband.

There was a painful twang in her chest at once. Her husband. Her friend was joking about her husband. A man who she shared a child, a home, and a life with.

She could taste iron. She would later realize that she had bit the inside of her cheek open. For now, she chopped the stinging sensation up to the of moths fumbling about in her stomach. 

Her friend took her Godson and she was left alone once more. She laid her head on the linen pillow and stared blankly at the room before her. Wistfully, she imagined Amelie and Trent embracing each other at the end of the very long day. She imagined them nuzzling against the other as they gazed down at their sleeping baby boy. Then, she imagined everything that could have been.

She fell into a slumber with remnants of saline tears on her cheeks, and she woke up days later wearing a crisp white blouse and her best earrings. Rayan’s baptism. 

He barely left his mother’s arms that day. He was tiny and it was a big day for him and he was wearing a long, pristine white dress that used to be his grandfather’s when he was that small. So Rayan slept, and she tried not to kick open the church doors and run as far as her legs could take her. 

She knew he was in the room. She could feel it. If she opened her mouth to speak, she could taste it. If she inhaled too deeply, she could smell it. His presence was the sustenance that her soul had been missing for far too long and she was being punished for it. Her hands were shaking. She slipped off to the bathroom three times before she realized that her issues could affect the day. Being unreliable or looking flaky was the last thing she’d wanted to do after making it so far through the day. When she sat back down in the pews, she crossed her hands extra tight in her lap and kept her neck arched high. She would shake it off. This was for Rayan. 

After some time she stood with her friends and made her way to the front of the church. She could feel him behind her. Then beside her. She willed herself not to look at him and focused solely on swearing to remain a key figure in the baby’s life.

For you, I’ll do my best. 

He made his pledges after her. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe. He was so close to her. She could feel the echo of his baritone in her feet. She could taste iron, far more pronounced this time.

The baby was placed in her arms, and the metallic flavor dissipated at once. She secured her arm around his head and tugged his gown down. He whined, only to stop a second later when his mother kissed his hand. 

The priest asked the Godparents to move closer. She stepped forward and nodded when appropriate. The priest said something that she didn’t really catch. She had been too busy making sure Rayan was comfortable. Brown hands came forward and untied the loose strings around the baby’s neck. He pulled the baby’s hat off. She could hear the ocean in her head. 

She leaned forward and lowered her elbow an inch. The priest placed his hands in the tub of water before him and her. He poured water on the baby’s dark tufts of hair. One hand, then two, then another for good measure. Rayan let out a short cry from the temperature of the water.

“It’s okay, honey, you did great,” she whispered to her Godson when it was all over. She held him tighter, closer to her face.

“Maybe he’s cold,” the familiar voice said. “Here, let me put his hat back on.” Brown hands came into view and she watched him make the loose loop-the-loop. Rayan calmed down. 

Rayan’s parents came and uttered softly to their son. His mother fought tears. His father let them glide down his cheeks freely, rubbing the top of the baby’s bonnet with a thumb. 

“Hey,” the Godfather’s low voice was saying. He was not whispering. Anyone could have heard him. Though, when she thinks back on the moment, she can remember the soft, whispering tickle of his breath hitting her ear. She wanted him to be whispering. 

 She greeted him back weakly and she did not try to hide it. With everyone focused on Rayan, the awkward encounter would just be their own and she could not muster the strength to make it anything but. 

The corner of his mouth quirked up, weakly too, and he said, “You look really nice.”

All at once, she could hear the ocean. She could hear volcanoes erupting. She could feel the familiar sharp chill of ice, and she could smell the smoke of paper burning. 

She could not remember what her response was, or if she even responded at all. She could only remember the pain of living without the only man she had loved for months after being together for so long.

Through the fog, a voice prompted, “Let’s get a pic with the Godparents.”

She craned her head and found herself staring at a man that she had gone to school with. Kareem was known for being tall, charismatic, and a photographer. Therefore, she was not surprised that her friend had invited him to the gathering. Though she wished that someone would have filled him in on the current situation before he suggested such things. 

Rayan’s parents moved away. She took a half step closer to Rayan’s Godfather. Rayan’s Godfather took a half step closer to her.

For the first time in months, they were pressed against each other. 

Her chest felt hollow. Icy. It burned to inhale. It took too much effort to exhale. She lifted the baby so that he was perfectly between them. A brown hand fixed the baby’s dress. Fingertips grazed fingertips. She could taste iron pooling just behind her teeth, and then she smiled. 

Her first tear fell when the camera shuttered for the last time. The people were emotional, too. They spoke to the baby in whispers. The Godfather left her side to go gawk at his Godson. 

It was only her in the center of that stage. She was alone. There was no one in her corner anymore. 

She had no husband. No new baby to baptize. No boyfriend to envision her future with. 

She felt as if she was going to drown. She sucked in a burning breath. 

She tasted the iron.

[cinnaleaf]

「 Between Two Worlds | One Shot 」

Anon Request: Trent fic x "Chihiro - Billie Eilish"

genre: angsty af warnings: pregnant reader, relationship issues wc: ~1.8k a/n: ngl this made me want to cry lol i will be taking time to create the filthiest smut anyone has ever read to lift our spirits 🫡

The bathroom door slammed shut with a force that shook the door frame. You locked it without thinking, your fingers trembling as you slid down on the cold tile floor. Your heart was pounding in your chest as your breaths came in short gasps. You were fighting to keep yourself together, but there was no use. The tears spilled down your cheeks in thick, angry streams as you pressed a hand to your mouth to stifle your sobs behind the closed door that separated you from Trent. He had no idea why you were falling apart. 

Your stomach twisted from the nausea that had been gnawing at you for days, holding a secret that was too heavy for you to handle alone. You had a realization that things may never change, no matter how many times you tried to convince yourself that you and Trent were just going through a rough patch. He didn’t see you anymore..at least not in the way he used to.

You tried to breathe through your tears, wiping your face. Constant fatigue, nausea, and the feeling of being alone made you feel like an anchor was weighing you down. Like you were being pulled under. You wanted to tell him so badly, but you also hoped that he would notice the changes himself. You prayed he would ask you why you were so tired and distant, but he never did.

You were pregnant, and the father of your child was completely oblivious–too caught up in his own damn world to notice yours had been permanently turned upside down.

“Y/N!” Trent’s voice came in from the other side of the door, riddled with concern. “Open the door please. We need to talk.”

Your chest tightened at the sound of his voice but you couldn’t bring yourself to answer him. You were too tired..too broken. You grazed your hand over the barely there bump that you hadn’t really had time to process just yet. It was so early, but it felt like the secret had been eating you alive for months. 

“Y/N…” Trent called again softly, like he was trying not to scare you. “Please talk to me baby..what’s wrong? Tell me.”

A bitter laugh escaped your lips. Talk. All he ever wanted to talk about these days was everything and everyone, besides the two of you. 

Besides you. 

You pulled your knees up to your chest, resting your forehead against them as tears continued to stream down your face. The weight of everything was pressing down on you and it felt like you were suffocating. You wanted to open the door and let him in, but at the same time you didn't know how to face him. How were you supposed to tell him you were pregnant with his child when he couldn’t even notice you were falling apart? 

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me Y/N..” he sighed, his voice closer now as if he was pressing his forehead against the door trying to reach you through it. “Please baby..I hate seeing you like this.” You took a deep shaky breath, feeling your throat and face burn from sobbing so much. “Why?” you choked out. “Why do you care all of a sudden?”

There was a long pause at first, and then you heard him exhale like he had been punched in the gut. “What?? I do care. I love you Y/N…” The words hung between you like a lifeline, but you were too afraid to reach for it.

Love

That’s what he was saying but was that really what this was? How could he say he loves you when he didn’t even notice your world was crumbling? How could he say that when you spent the last couple of weeks terrified, without him asking you what’s wrong?

“You don’t see me anymore Trent” you whispered in a trembling voice. “I’m always here and you don’t even see me. It’s like I’m a ghost to you.” The silence was deafening. He was standing on the other side of the door, trying to make sense of what you just said to him. “But I do see you baby..” he said finally, voice thick with confusion and guilt. “I just..I’ve been distracted I guess. With footie and everything. It’s hard to balance all this.”

Distracted

That word felt like a slap in the face to you.

“Have you noticed how long it’s been since you asked me how I’m doing??” you asked, the words spilling out of your mouth as you continued to cry. “You haven’t even noticed something is wrong with me…” Trent went quiet again before speaking. “I didn’t know,” he said in a strained voice. “I thought…” You cut him off, feeling your anger bubble up to the surface. “You didn’t know because you didn’t care enough to fucking find out! I’ve been tired, throwing up, and you just…you didn’t notice at all. You never fucking notice.” There was another pause, this time longer and heavier. 

His voice was laced with confusion. “What are you talking about Y/N? Are you okay?” Your stomach twisted up as you felt a wave of nausea flare up again. Your hand instinctively went to your stomach to try and steady yourself. You knew you needed to tell him.. he deserved to know. But how were you supposed to trust him to be there if he was barely there now? You took a deep breath, wiping the tears from your face as you began to speak. “I’m pregnant, Trent.”

Your heart pounded in your chest waiting for his response. The only thing you could hear for a while was the sound of your breathing and the thud of your heartbeat through your ears. Finally, you heard him shift on the other side of the door. “You’re pregnant??” he repeated, his voice sounded like he was struggling to comprehend the words you had just told him. You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. “I found out a couple of weeks ago when you were out of town..I’ve been so scared.”

He exhaled and you could hear the guilt in his breath. “Y/N..I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Your tears slowed but the ache you felt in your chest was still so unbearable. “I didn’t know how. You’re so focused on everything else..I really didn’t think it would make that much of a difference.”

“I should've been there for you..really been there. I didn’t know baby. I’m sorry.” You let his apology wash over you. Those were the words you were waiting to hear for a long time, but now that you did, the words didn’t feel as comforting as you thought they would. Words and apologies didn’t hold much weight anymore. Trent needed to show action. 

“I–ugh. Fuck. I just don’t know if things will change.” you said in a trembling voice. “I can’t keep fucking feeling like this. I love you, I really do. But it doesn't feel like you love me anymore. You don’t show it.” You were terrified of what he might say, terrified that he may agree with you. When he finally spoke, his voice was desperate. “Y/N. What the hell? I do love you. I love you so much. I know I messed up..I haven’t been here. But I’m here now. I wanna fix this. I wanna be there for you and our baby. Please…just let me in.”

Your heart ached at the weight of his words as you bit your lip. You wanted to believe things would change and he would be there for you this time, but you had been down this road before plenty of times. And every time, it felt like you were the only one who was really trying.

But you loved him. 

And despite everything, the love was still there, flickering in the darkness like a weak flame. 

You pushed yourself up from the floor as you made your way to unlock the door. The click echoed through the bathroom walls as you took a deep breath before opening it. Trent was standing there, his face filled with anguish. “I’m so sorry baby.” he whispered as he stood closer to you, his hands reaching for yours. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there but I’m here now. I swear I’ll do better.”

“I don’t know if I can trust that Trent,” you whispered in a barely audible voice. “I’m scared I’ll keep waiting for you..and you’ll slip away.” He gripped your hands tightly as if he was afraid to let you go, as if you would vanish entirely if he did. “I’ve been selfish, I’ll admit that. I let you down Y/N. But I swear I’ll do whatever it takes. I can’t lose you, not now, not ever.” You searched his face, looking for a trace of the man you missed–the one that was always present, so loving, and attentive. You knew there were glimpses of him still buried under the exterior he built, but was that enough to believe the old him would come back to you?

“I’ve been doing this alone for so long Trent” you said, your voice trembling. “I didn’t think you’d care.”

“I care, baby.” he said, his voice starting to break. “ I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I can’t take it back, but I’m here. For you. For our baby.”

His hand gently moved  to your stomach, your breath catching. This was the first time he touched you since you told him you were pregnant, the first time he acknowledged there was a little life growing inside of you. His fingers were warm against your soft skin, trembling slightly as he rested them on your belly. You took a deep breath, placing your hand over his. For a moment, you both just stood there, the silence was still heavy but it wasn’t unbearable. You wanted to believe that he’d be the man you needed, and the father your child deserved.

But there was still so much uncertainty. 

So much fear.

“I’m really scared...” you admitted. He pulled you closer to him as his arms wrapped around you tightly. “I’m scared too,” he whispered. “I’ll fight for you though. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect but I’m gonna try.. every day.” You closed your eyes, leaning into him as you let the weight of his words settle. 

It wasn’t a guarantee. It wasn’t a promise of ‘happily ever after’. But it was something. It was a start.

For now, that was all you could ask for.

You pulled back slightly with your eyes meeting his, “Okay..we’ll try again” you whispered.

Trent relaxed his shoulders, his grip on you loosening enough to pull you into a kiss that was so gentle, like he was afraid to push too hard. You let yourself melt into the kiss, believing that maybe things would get better. 

Not perfect. But better.

You imagined a future where he was by your side not just in words, but in action. 

It was enough..

Enough to try again.

[pdriesta]

CHAPTER ONE

“even when it’s bad, i love you”

pairing — trentxblack!girl

genre — angst, angst and more angst

word count —5k

summary — y/n and trent's once strong relationship is strained by his growing distance and her unexpected pregnancy. as they clash over their future, y/n faces the painful choice of leaving or staying. will they overcome their struggles and rebuild their love, or will their fractured bond break beyond repair?

an — i’ve been so excited for this series! i’m so happy to finally post it

masterlist

trent walked through the front door, the usual warmth of their home replaced by an unsettling chill. the house was too quiet, a stark contrast to the life it once held. the silence only made the tension between them more palpable, like a storm that had been brewing for weeks.

he dropped his gym bag in the hallway and glanced towards the kitchen, where y/n stood with her back to him. she was moving slowly, almost mechanically, and didn’t turn to greet him like she used to. the knot in his stomach tightened as he noticed how withdrawn she seemed.

“hey,” he called out, his voice lacking the warmth it once held. “how was your day?”

she didn’t answer right away, her hands stilling on the counter. “it was... okay,” she finally replied, her voice so soft he almost didn’t hear her.

“hey,” he called out, his voice tired, lacking the warmth it used to carry. “how was your day?”

she paused, her hands stilling. “it was... okay,” she replied softly, not turning to face him.

he walked over, leaning against the counter opposite her. “you’ve been crying,” he observed, his tone accusatory without meaning to be.

y/n stiffened at his words, her heart racing. she had been crying, but for reasons he couldn’t begin to understand. she had spent hours that afternoon staring at the positive pregnancy test, her mind a whirl of emotions—fear, uncertainty, but also a small glimmer of hope. she thought about how to tell him, how to make him see that this wasn’t just a mistake or a burden, but something they could embrace together. but now, looking at his weary face, she wasn’t so sure.

“we need to talk,” she said, her voice trembling despite her efforts to stay calm.

trent’s eyes narrowed, suspicion and defensiveness flaring up inside him. “about what?” he asked, his tone clipped.

she took a deep breath, her fingers gripping the edge of the counter. “i’m pregnant.”

the words hung in the air between them, heavy and suffocating. trent’s reaction was immediate—his eyes widened in shock, and then his expression hardened, a mix of confusion and anger twisting his features. “what? how is that even possible? we’ve always been careful.”

y/n felt the sting of his words, her heart breaking a little more with each passing second. she had expected shock, maybe even fear, but the coldness in his voice cut deep. “i don’t know,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “but it happened.”

trent ran a hand through his hair, pacing the length of the kitchen. “this... this can’t be happening,” he muttered, more to himself than to her. “we’re not ready for this. i’m not ready for this.”

“we can figure it out together,” y/n tried, desperation creeping into her voice. “we’ve always figured things out together.”

he stopped in his tracks, turning to face her with an expression that sent chills down her spine. "did you forget to take your pill or something? is this some sort of trap?" the accusation was like a slap to the face, and y/n recoiled as if physically struck.

“how can you say that to me?” she choked out, tears welling up in her eyes. “do you really think i would do something like that to you?”

the weight of his accusation settled on her chest like a boulder, crushing her beneath its unforgiving mass. it wasn’t just the words—it was the disbelief, the mistrust, the implication that she could be so calculating, so cruel. the thought that he could even entertain such an idea ripped through her, leaving her raw and exposed. this was the man she had given everything to, the one she had loved unconditionally, and yet, here he was, questioning her integrity, her love.

every tear that welled up in her eyes was a testament to the betrayal she felt, each drop a piece of her heart that had been shattered by his words. she could barely recognize the person standing in front of her, the person who had once vowed to trust her, to stand by her no matter what. his assumption felt like a knife twisting in her gut, the pain of it almost too much to bear.

trent didn’t answer immediately, his mind racing with a thousand different thoughts. the pressure of the season, the constant scrutiny from the media, the weight of expectations—it all came crashing down on him, and he felt like he was drowning. "i don’t know, y/n,'"he finally said, his voice cold. "i don’t know what to think right now. this is... this is too much."

y/n’s anger flared, her hurt turning into something sharper. “so what, you want me to just get rid of our child?” she spat out, the words tasting bitter on her tongue.

trent’s eyes flashed with something dark, something she hadn’t seen before. “maybe we should consider it,” he said harshly. “we’re not ready for a kid, y/n. we’re barely managing as it is.”

y/n’s heart plummeted at his words, the world around her narrowing to the crushing reality of what he was suggesting. every breath she took felt labored, as if the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving her gasping for something solid to hold onto. “barely managing”. the words echoed in her mind, slicing through her like a cold blade. had their love really come to this? to the point where the idea of their child—their child—was something to be feared, something to be discarded?

the ground beneath her feet felt unstable, like it could give way at any moment, sending her tumbling into an abyss of despair. she had always thought of trent as her safe place, the one person who would stand by her no matter what. but now, as she looked at him, she realized that the man standing before her was a stranger—someone capable of suggesting something so unthinkable.

“'i can’t believe you’re saying this,” she whispered, her voice trembling as she tried to keep herself from falling apart completely. “this is our child, trent. how can you be so heartless?”

“heartless? or realistic?” trent shot back, his voice rising in frustration. “we have plans, y/n. dreams. a baby wasn’t part of them—not now.”

the words stung like a fresh wound, and y/n could feel herself spiraling. “why is it always on me?”, she demanded, her voice sharp, filled with hurt. “why is it my responsibility to make sure we're careful? you haven’t used a condom in years, trent. you just assumed i’d handle it, like it’s only my problem.”

trent’s face hardened, but there was a flicker of guilt in his eyes. “we were both in this, y/n. don’t try to make it sound like—“

“your convenience, trent,” she interrupted, her voice trembling with rage.”'it was always for your convenience. you wanted me on the pill because it was easier for you, and now you want to blame me for this?”'

the truth in her words cut deep, and trent struggled to find a response. “it’s not about blame,” he said, his voice quieter now, but no less tense. “i just… this wasn’t supposed to happen. not like this.”

“'and what if it’s never the right time?” she demanded, her tears blurring her vision. “'what if we keep waiting and waiting, and it never happens because we’re too busy being ‘realistic’?”

trent looked at her, his heart heavy with regret and confusion. he could see the pain in her eyes, the devastation in her words, and it made him feel like he was losing her—losing everything. but instead of pulling her closer, he felt like he was pushing her further away with every word

“y/n…” he began, his voice softening, but she cut him off, her voice choked with emotion.”'if you can’t see that this is a blessing, then maybe you’re right. maybe we’re not ready.”

trent’s chest tightened as the words hung in the air, suffocating him. he knew he had made a terrible mistake, but he didn’t know how to fix it. the fear and doubt that had driven him to say those awful things still clung to him, but now they were joined by a deep, gnawing guilt. "y/n," he whispered, his voice barely audible, “i’m so sorry. i’m scared and i don’t know what i’m doing.” but she didn’t turn back, didn’t acknowledge his words. she just kept walking, leaving him standing there, drowning in the consequences of his own actions.

desperation clawed at his throat as he watched her retreating form, and suddenly it all came crashing down on him—the weight of his insecurities, the overwhelming pressure he felt, the fear of failing her and their future. but none of that mattered if he couldn’t fix this.

"you think i do?” y/n shot back, her voice cracking as her tears flowed freely now. she spun around, her eyes ablaze with emotion, each tear a reflection of the pain she was carrying. “i’m terrified, trent. but i thought... i thought we could face this together. i thought you wanted us to face this together. but all you’ve done is make me feel alone. unwanted.”

trent’s heart sank at her words, the guilt tightening its grip around him. he stepped forward instinctively, his hands trembling as he reached out toward her, desperate to make her stay, to say anything that could take back what he’d done. “y/n, please,” he begged, his voice hoarse and raw with emotion. “i didn’t mean it. i’m just... i’m overwhelmed. i love you. i want to be with you. i want us. please don’t leave.”

but y/n shook her head, her face hardened by the pain he had caused, her tears still glistening in the dim light. “i’m leaving,” she said, her voice steely despite the way it trembled. “i never want our child to feel this... this unwanted. the way you made me feel tonight. i can’t stay here, trent. not after this.”

her words hit him like a punch to the gut. unwanted. the very thing he feared—the thing that had eaten away at him for months—was now the very thing he had made her feel. and it broke him. his knees felt weak, his mind raced for something to say, something to do, but nothing felt right. nothing would change the fact that she was walking ou

trent stepped towards her, his hands reaching out in a desperate attempt to fix what he had broken. “y/n, please,” he begged, his voice hoarse. “i didn’t mean it. i’m just... i’m overwhelmed. i love you. i want to be with you. please don’t leave.”

but y/n shook her head, her resolve hardening with each passing second. “i never want our child to feel this... this unwanted. the way you made me feel tonight. i can’t stay here, trent. not after this.” she said, her voice steely despite the tears.

“y/n, please, don’t do this,” trent’s voice cracked, his heart breaking as he watched her move toward the bedroom. he followed her, his panic rising with every step. “don’t go, baby, please. we can figure this out, i promise. i’ll do whatever it takes to make it right.”

“i can’t do this anymore, trent,” y/n cried, yanking open the closet door and pulling out a suitcase. her hands shook as she grabbed clothes, shoving them inside with little care. “i thought i could, but i can’t. i can’t raise a child with someone who doesn’t want them.”

trent felt the words like daggers to his heart. he tried to reach for her again, his hands trembling as he touched her arm. “i didn’t mean it,” he whispered, his voice cracking with desperation. “please, y/n. i love you. don’t leave me.”

she pulled away from him, her eyes red and puffy from crying. “if you loved me, you wouldn’t have said those things,” she said, her voice raw with emotion. “you wouldn’t have hurt me like this.”

trent’s knees almost buckled at her words. “i’m so sorry,” he whispered, his eyes glistening with tears he was too proud to let fall. “please, baby. i’ll do anything. just don’t leave.”

but y/n had already made up her mind. she zipped up the suitcase and grabbed it, brushing past him as she headed for the door. trent stood frozen, his heart shattered, watching the love of his life walk out of their home.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered again, but it was too late. the front door closed behind her with a finality that echoed through the empty house.

trent sank to the floor, his mind reeling with regret and sorrow. he had pushed away the one person he loved more than anything, and now, he didn’t know if he would ever get her back.

y/n gripped the steering wheel, her knuckles white as she replayed trent’s words in her mind, each one cutting deeper than the last. the quiet hum of the car did nothing to drown out the echo of his voice—harsh, unyielding, and completely unlike the man she thought she knew. her heart felt heavy, burdened by the weight of the hurt he’d inflicted on her.

“maybe we should consider it.”

the words rang in her ears, over and over, as if they were etched into her mind. he’d spoken about their child as if it was nothing more than an inconvenience, something to be dealt with rather than cherished. the man who once promised her the world, who had knelt before her with a ring and vowed to love her through anything, was now the same man who had suggested they rid themselves of the very future they had created together.

she wiped at her eyes, her vision blurred by tears she couldn’t seem to stop. how had it come to this? how had they gone from dreaming of a life together to this—a chasm so wide between them that she couldn’t see a way to bridge it? the ring on her finger felt heavier now, a cold reminder of promises that suddenly felt so fragile.

the miles between cheshire and london stretched out before her, but she barely noticed the distance. she needed her mum—needed the comfort of home, the warmth of arms that had always been there to catch her when she fell. she didn’t know what else to do, where else to go. all she knew was that she couldn’t stay there, in that house filled with memories now tainted by the cruel words trent had thrown at her.

as she pulled into her parents’ driveway, the familiar sight of her childhood home brought a fresh wave of tears. the house was dark, the neighborhood quiet, the world seemingly asleep while hers was falling apart. she sat there for a moment, the engine ticking as it cooled, trying to gather the strength to move.

finally, she climbed out of the car, her legs trembling as she walked up the steps. she hesitated for a moment before knocking, her hand shaking. it was late—too late to be arriving unannounced—but she had nowhere else to go.

the door opened slowly, and there stood her mum, her face etched with concern as she took in the sight of y/n standing there, tears streaming down her face. “y/n?” she whispered, her voice thick with worry.

at the sound of her mum’s voice, the dam broke. y/n let out a sob, her knees buckling as she fell into her mother’s arms. “mum,” she cried, her voice muffled against her shoulder. “i... i don’t know what to do.”

her mum wrapped her arms around her, holding her tightly as if to shield her from the world. “oh, sweetheart,” she murmured, her own eyes filling with tears. “it’s okay. i’ve got you.”

they stood there in the doorway, y/n’s sobs filling the quiet night air, until finally her mum guided her inside. the warmth of the house was a stark contrast to the coldness she felt inside, but it did little to ease the ache in her chest.

they settled in the kitchen, the familiar comfort of the space doing little to soothe y/n’s heartache. her mum moved around the kitchen, making tea like she always did when things were bad. it was something she’d done since y/n was little—a small gesture, but one that made the world feel a little less chaotic.

as they sat down at the table, y/n finally spoke, her voice trembling. “he said we should consider getting rid of the baby,” she whispered, her eyes staring blankly at the cup in her hands. “he actually said that, mum.”

her mum’s eyes softened with sadness, but she didn’t interrupt, letting y/n get it all out. “he said we’re not ready, that this wasn’t part of our plans. but... but we’re supposed to be a team. we’re supposed to face things together, not like this. how could he say something so cruel? how could he suggest...”

her voice broke, and she couldn’t finish the sentence, the words too painful to speak.

her mum reached across the table, taking y/n’s hand in hers. “oh, my love,” she said gently, her voice filled with compassion. “i can’t imagine how much that hurt you, hearing him say those things. but you know trent loves you. he’s been part of our family for years now, and i’ve seen how much he cares for you. whatever he said, it wasn’t out of malice. he’s scared, y/n. this is big, and it’s sudden, and he’s probably overwhelmed.”

y/n looked up at her, tears spilling over her cheeks. “but he doesn’t talk to me, mum. he keeps everything inside, and when he does talk, it’s like... like he’s a different person. i don’t know how to reach him anymore.”

her mum sighed, her thumb gently rubbing over y/n’s knuckles. “men can be like that sometimes. they think they have to bear the weight of the world on their shoulders, and they forget that they don’t have to do it alone. he’s probably trying to figure it all out in his head, and in the process, he’s pushing you away. it doesn’t make what he said right, but it might help to understand where he’s coming from.”

y/n shook her head, her heart still heavy with the pain of his words. “i don’t know if i can forgive him for this, mum. i don’t know if i can forget the way he made me feel—like this baby, our baby, was a mistake.”

her mum’s eyes filled with sympathy, but also with a quiet strength. “you don’t have to make any decisions right now, sweetheart. you’re allowed to be hurt, and you’re allowed to take your time to figure out what you want. just know that whatever you decide, i’m here for you. we all are.”

y/n nodded, the weight of her mum’s words settling into her heart. the road ahead was uncertain, and she knew it wouldn’t be easy. but in that moment, wrapped in her mother’s warmth and understanding, she felt just a little bit stronger.

the next morning, y/n woke up feeling like a shell of herself, her body moving through the motions as if on autopilot. the room was dim, the early morning light filtering through the curtains, casting a soft glow on the walls. she blinked slowly, her eyes swollen and puffy from the tears she had cried into her mother’s arms and later into her pillow. the reality of the situation hit her like a tidal wave—she was pregnant, and trent, the man she loved more than anything, had reacted in the worst way possible.

she placed a hand on her stomach, the realization sinking in that there was a life growing inside her. her fingers trembled as she gently pressed against her abdomen, a quiet, almost inaudible whisper escaping her lips. “it’s just you and me now, little one,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “we’re going to be okay... i promise.”

but the words felt fragile, like they could shatter at any moment, just like the life she had envisioned with trent. a wave of nausea suddenly washed over her, pulling her from her thoughts. she barely made it to the bathroom before she was sick, her body heaving as she emptied what little was in her stomach.

after rinsing her mouth and splashing water on her face, she took a deep breath and steadied herself. she had to keep it together, at least for now. with shaky hands, she got dressed, pulling on a pair of leggings and an oversized sweater that did nothing to hide the slight bump she now knew was there.

when she finally made her way downstairs, the smell of breakfast filled the air—eggs, bacon, and freshly baked bread. her mum was already in the kitchen, moving around with the practiced ease of someone who had done this a million times before. the sight of her mother’s familiar, comforting figure brought a fresh wave of tears to y/n’s eyes, but she quickly blinked them away, not wanting to break down again.

her mum turned and smiled softly at her, her eyes full of love and understanding. “good morning, sweetheart. i made breakfast for you. you need to eat well now that you’re carrying my grandchild.”

y/n managed a small, grateful smile, her heart swelling with the love and care her mum was showing her. she sat down at the kitchen table, her movements slow and deliberate, the weight of the past 24 hours pressing heavily on her shoulders.

as she picked at her food, her mum sat down across from her, the quiet between them filled with a deep, unspoken understanding. “you don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready,” her mum said gently, reaching out to place a hand over y/n’s. “but just know that i’m here for you, every step of the way.”

y/n nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. “i know, mum. thank you.” her voice was barely above a whisper, the words coming out strained. she wanted to say more, to pour out all the fear and uncertainty swirling inside her, but she couldn’t find the strength.

as y/n sat at the kitchen table, her mind still heavy with the events of the previous night, her mum took a deep breath, her voice gentle yet firm. “i booked an appointment with your ob-gyn for later today, just to see how far along you are and make sure everything’s okay.”

y/n’s eyes widened, a fresh wave of tears spilling down her cheeks as she shook her head. “i don’t want to do it without him,” she sobbed, her voice breaking. “i can’t... i don’t want to go through this alone.”

her mum immediately pulled her into a comforting embrace, stroking her hair as she whispered soothing words. “you won’t have to, sweetheart. he’s just going through a rough time right now, but he loves you. you’re his whole world, y/n, and he’s going to come around. you’ll see.”

y/n clung to her mother, her heart aching with a mix of fear and longing. she wanted to believe her mum’s words, to hold on to the hope that trent would be there for her and their baby. but the uncertainty gnawed at her, and all she could do was cry, letting the tears wash over her as her mum held her tight.

when they pulled apart y/n sat quietly at the kitchen table, her fingers tracing the edge of her mug as she tried to collect her thoughts. her mum was bustling around, preparing breakfast, casting worried glances her way every few minutes. y/n’s face was still puffy from all the crying she did, both in her mother’s arms the night before and later alone in bed. her mind was a storm of emotions—fear, sadness, love, and the overwhelming realization that a baby was growing inside her.

as she stirred her tea absently, she found herself speaking softly, almost to herself. “i just can’t believe this is happening... there’s a baby inside me,” she thought, placing a tentative hand on her stomach. “i’m going to be a mum.”

a few moments later, the sound of laughter and playful banter echoed from the front door, growing louder as her dad and malik entered the house, fresh from their morning paddle game. y/n’s heart clenched at the sound, the familiarity of it all feeling like a balm to her aching soul.

her dad was the first to spot her, and his face lit up with a warm, loving smile. “there’s my babygirl,” he said, walking over to her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head before pulling her into a tight embrace. “what brings you here so early? not that i’m complaining.”

y/n couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. she clung to her dad, her body shaking as the sobs broke free. “i’m pregnant, dad,” she choked out, her voice cracking with emotion.

there was a moment of stunned silence, and then her dad’s arms tightened around her, holding her as if he could shield her from all the pain in the world. “oh, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “that’s wonderful news. you’re going to be an amazing mum.”

malik, who had been standing off to the side, rushed over and wrapped his arms around both of them, his voice full of excitement. “are you serious? i’m going to be an uncle? this is the best news ever!”

y/n couldn’t help but smile through her tears, the love and support from her family filling her with a warmth she hadn’t felt since the night before. but then her dad pulled back slightly, his brow furrowing in concern. “why are you crying, love? what happened?”

y/n wiped at her eyes, trying to compose herself. “trent didn’t take it well... he said some things... hurtful things.” her voice broke again, and she shook her head, the memory of the fight replaying in her mind like a nightmare.

her dad’s expression softened, and he gently cupped her face in his hands. “he loves you, y/n. i know he does. he’s probably just scared, like you are. but he’ll come around, I promise. he’s a good man, and he loves you more than anything.”

malik nodded in agreement, his voice full of conviction. “yeah, sis. and until he does, you’ve got me. my niece or nephew is going to have the best uncle in the world, i swear.”

y/n let out a shaky breath, the love from her family seeping into the cracks that trent’s words had left in her heart. for a moment, she allowed herself to believe that everything would be okay, that they would figure this out, just like they always had. but as the morning wore on and the reality of her situation settled back in, the doubts and fears crept in once more.

her future felt uncertain, and the thought of facing it without trent by her side was almost too much to bear. but as she sat there, surrounded by the love and warmth of her family, she knew one thing for sure—she wasn’t alone. and no matter what happened next, she would find a way to make it through. for herself, and for the little life growing inside her.

trent sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, as the events of the past few days played on an endless loop in his mind. no matter how much he tried to push it away, the memory of y/n’s tear-streaked face and the pain in her eyes haunted him. the weight of his words pressed down on his chest, suffocating him with regret.

he was lost, unable to focus on anything else. training sessions passed by in a blur, his body moving on autopilot while his mind remained trapped in the past. every time he closed his eyes, he saw her walking away, heard the echo of the door closing behind her, and felt the emptiness she left in her wake.

it was unbearable. he had to do something—anything—to make things right. but every time he thought of reaching out, the fear of her rejection, of having lost her for good, paralyzed him.

and then, as he was sitting there in the quiet of his room, a memory surfaced, clear and vivid, breaking through the fog of his despair.

it was the night after he proposed. they were in bed, their bodies tangled together under the sheets, the room filled with the soft glow of moonlight filtering through the curtains. trent’s fingers traced delicate patterns on y/n’s bare back as she rested her head on his chest, their breathing in sync.

“husband,” she murmured, her voice a breathy whisper against his skin. “trent alexander-arnold, my husband.”

he chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against her cheek. “and you, mrs. y/n alexander-arnold,” he replied, his voice low and filled with warmth. “how does that sound?”

she lifted her head slightly, her eyes meeting his, and a playful smile danced on her lips. “it sounds perfect,” she whispered, leaning in to brush her lips against his. “i can’t wait to be your wife.”

their lips met in a slow, tender kiss, filled with the promise of forever. trent’s hand moved up to cradle her face, deepening the kiss as his other hand trailed down her spine, pulling her closer. y/n sighed into the kiss, her fingers sliding into his hair, tugging gently as their passion ignited.

“i love you,” he murmured against her lips before trailing kisses down her jawline to her neck, making her gasp softly. “i’m so lucky to have you.”

"i love you too,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion as she tilted her head back, giving him better access to her neck. "always.”

his lips continued their path down her neck, leaving a trail of warmth that made her shiver with anticipation. “for the rest of my life,” he echoed, his voice husky as he pulled her back into another deep, lingering kiss, sealing their promise to each other in the quiet intimacy of the night.

trent felt his heart clench at the memory. how had they gone from that pure, unfiltered joy to this unbearable pain?

with trembling hands, he reached for his phone and opened their message thread. he had sent her countless texts since she left, each one more desperate than the last, but there had been no response. still, he couldn’t stop himself from typing another message, hoping against hope that she would read it.

i’m so sorry, baby. i never meant to hurt you. i love you. please don’t go. i am lost without you. please come home.

on the other side, y/n sat alone in her childhood bedroom, the weight of trent’s messages heavy in her hands. tears streamed down her face, each message a cruel reminder of the love that felt so distant now. her heart ached with every word, longing to reach out, to tell him how much she missed him, how her love for him hadn't wavered.

but every glance at her growing belly brought back the sting of his harsh words, the flicker of doubt in his eyes. she felt the unbearable contrast between the life inside her—so precious, so innocent—and the emptiness left by his rejection. his promises and the dreams they shared now seemed like distant echoes.

clutching her stomach, she cried uncontrollably, the pain of his absence intertwining with the fear of a future that seemed impossibly uncertain. she was caught between the love that still held her heart captive and the overwhelming dread that they might never overcome the chasm between them.

next

© PDRIESTA 2024

[ell-alexanderarnold]

Everywhere I go leads me back to you

Summary: Two lovers with two different lives and there’s never ending arguments. Y/n asks herself if the relationship is worth saving. What happens when the two lovers paths starts to collide and goes the other direction?

Angst & Fluff

Note: Let me know your thoughts! <3

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You sat in the car, hands on the steering wheel and you stared at your engagement ring on your finger. You thought about how it was two years ago when you didn’t study, and were home all the time, always available for Trent. But he was not always available for you. You would travel to watch him play at Anfield and when he was playing away games, but nowadays you have to study really hard if you want to make it.

Then he proposed of course, you two were so madly in love. However, what happens when two lovers paths starts to collide and goes the other direction?

You and Trent hasn’t been able to catch up with each other for a while, and you miss him. You get sad when you think about it and sometimes you wish it could be how it was before you started studying.

You parked your car and noticed that Trent’s car also was parked, which was strange because you knew he had a game tonight.

You exited your car and then unlocked your door. You smelled that someone was cooking, that someone was Trent.

“Hello” You said and walked in the kitchen where Trent stood cooking.

“Hey love, you hungry?” He answered and smiled at you.

“Yeah, a little” You simply answered and Trent lead you to the dinner table where he had lit up candles for the dinner.

“Sit down the food’s almost ready” He soothed and kissed your forehead.

You were surprised but also happy that he did this with so much effort because of the little time you spend together these days.

”Wow T, I’m actually impressed” You praised as you started to eat, once again surprised by him.

He smiled in response as he joined you at the table. It almost felt surreal seeing Trent sitting in front of you, you finally got to get lost in his brown eyes again. Oh how you have missed looking into his eyes. In the middle of your admiration you remembered to ask him why he was home and not travelling to the game.

“Are you not playing tonight?” You asked and took a sip of your water and watched his eyebrows furrowed.

“Y/n the game is tomorrow” He confirmed and you put your glass down, almost in shock.

“Oh, I thought it was tonight” You nervously chuckled, and couldn’t believe how you could get it so wrong. Trent wasn’t bothered but you were. You realised how tired you really are from focusing on uni all the time.

“Well, it’s not easy for you to know babe” Trent comforted and grabbed your hand gently and drew small circles on your palm.

“What time are you leaving in the morning?” You implored, knowing that you’d probably won’t see each other for a few days so you wanted to be awake when he leaves, which means you have to sacrifice some hours of sleep. But you wanted to everything for him.

“I’ll leave at 7 ish” Trent answered and an idea popped up in his head.

“Want to come with me?” He added as you immediately panicked inside.

“Where to?” You wondered.

“We’re playing in the Europa League, Toulouse” He asserted and you scratched the back of your neck, something you always do when you’re anxious.

“I can’t, I have to study” You stated and watched his reaction, he wasn’t happy.

“Come on Y/n, can’t you study anywhere?” He pleaded and you knew that this was getting out of hands.

“You mean anywhere you are?” You sighed as you went to put your plate in the dishwasher.

“Please don’t be like that Y/n” Trent tutted and came up to you, giving you that look of disappointment.

“I really need to give it everything if I’m gonna make it Trent” You said and looked at him, and Trent of all people would know the sacrifices that has to be made if you want to make it.

“I understand, just wished that it would be like old times” He mumbled and sat down by the couch as you followed after him.

“Trent you’re saying that you miss when I was a failure, sitting on this couch all day waiting for you to come home and put a ring on my finger?” You snapped. Perhaps it was too much however, you couldn’t stand being in this position in the relationship any longer.

“Y/n, that’s not what I said” Trent said and scoffed as tears started forming in your eyes.

“It’s not about that it is that you don’t want me to have a life separate from yours! I can’t be available all the time Trent” You went on and Trent sat there and reminded himself that you also have a life that doesn’t revolve him.

“What about us then?” Trent spoke up and more tears streamed down your face and you shot a look at your engagement ring.

“I don’t anymore, I gave up something to be at uni and you should know what that’s like because your football is all that matters and all you have time for nowadays Trent” You defended and suddenly you felt your phone buzzing. You looked at Trent with a tear leaving your eye and went upstairs to answer the call.

Trent slammed the coffee table and started crying. Somewhere he felt that this was going to end and he couldn’t control it.

-

You sat in your shared bed studying, you didn’t have the energy to sit at your desk working. Trent packed his bag for tomorrow and the both of you haven’t spoken since a few hours ago. The silence was too much for you to handle so you sat with your airpods on full volume. You didn’t even know how much the clock was until you heard Trent turning the lights off downstairs.

You got up from the bed and put your books on your desk and then went to the bathroom. You brushed you teeth and you were lost in your thoughts and your music was still playing in your ears, you didn’t even notice Trent standing beside you brushing his teeth as well.

When you were done you looked over at him and saw that he was watching you too, you had to fight the urge to not hug him and absolutely sob into his chest. But Trent already knew how you felt and walked up to you and wrapped his arms around you. Although this time it wasn’t you who cried, it was Trent.

“Shh, it’ll be alright” You whispered and rubbed his back.

“You make it so difficult sometimes” Trent sniffled and let go of you. You were left in the bathroom struck with a such strong feeling of emptiness after he left.

You both sat at the edge of the bed, wishing some things were better left unsaid.

“Y/n” Trent called.

“Y/n” Trent called again.

“I heard you the first time” You taunted.

“We promised each other not to go to sleep angry” He said and you pulled the duvet over yourself preparing to sleep knowing it will take a while to fall asleep.

“Well, I guess some promises are made to be broken” You ended and turned of your bedside lamp.

–

Everything changed after that night. Trent came home after a loss against Toulouse, you wanted to comfort him the moment he stepped through the door. Trent was angry, he always was after a loss but this time it was different because of the situation between the two of you.

You two spoke a few times during the day but it was just small talks and it killed you.

It got more worse later in the day when you were preparing to sleep, Trent would start and argument and then it turned to not saying goodnight to each other anymore. Which you both always did before going to sleep despite an argument.

Now, you stopped saying goodnight and Trent stopped sleeping.

It was like torture to sleep next to him, every minute you thought about to whether sleep in the guest room or go downstairs to the kitchen to grab something to eat. You could hear Trent sighing and toss and turn, eventually he couldn’t take it anymore.

Trent got up from the bed and left your shared bedroom and closed the door quietly as he thought you were asleep.

You wanted to go after him, so you also left the bedroom. You heard noise from downstairs and you figured it was the tv, slowly walking down the stairs you could see him sitting in the couch, watching football highlights from the night.

You sat down, not too close to him but not so far away either. You watched the tv and the highlights showed a stunning goal which made Trent turn to you and say “What a goal that” He said and really you couldn’t believe him. Silence between the both of you for about three days and that’s the first thing he says to break the silence.

You turned your head to look at him, your eyes met and Trent’s lips curled into a small smile.

The whole situation was sentimental, and it was because the both of you knew. You two couldn’t work it out, no matter how hard you tried. The both of you live completely different lives, with different schedules. The only thing you could go back to was that you two have so much love for one another, and that’s what will always unite you and Trent in the end. But it has been this way for too long.

You looked at Trent and caressed his face, and you gave him a look that says everything he needs to know.

“At least we tried” You said, almost in a whisper and looked at your ring. It was filled with memories, and as you took it off it felt like your heart shattered. Tears streamed down your face as you handed Trent the ring. His hands were shaking as he received it, holding the ring that he thought would be stuck on your finger forever.

“Give it to someone who really deserves it T” You cried and he sniffed, looking at you with eyes filled with tears.

“But I only love you Y/n” He mumbled.

Trent thought that his biggest mistake of his life may be letting you go, letting you slip through his fingers just like that…

Two years later

You sat tense, waiting for the final whistle. They were almost crowned European champions. You were so proud of the team that they made it this far in the competition.

“Any minute now!” You exclaimed to your best friend beside you.

They won.

You celebrated with your friends and watched all the players run onto the pitch to their teammates who played the match. You could cry of happiness.

You watched Liverpool lift the trophy, fireworks and confetti were everywhere in the air. You watched the players get their medals and you saw him, getting his very own medal. He ran up to his family and they all hugged him.

Imagine if you were there with him.

And then he started to walk at your direction. He showed the fans the trophy with such pride and you always adored that side of him.

Without noticing he stood in front of the crowd that you was in, and he hardly even recognised you until he saw you. His heart stopped.

You looked up from your phone to see him standing there. Your friends were too caught up in their own conversation to notice you seeing Trent again after all these years.

You smiled at him and pointed at the trophy he was holding, he looked down at it then back at you and mouthed “Not bad”.

You smiled again and it felt like the time stopped and that is was only you and Trent in the stadium.

You couldn’t help but let a tear leave your eye, as you looked at him one last time.

You turned your back on him and dried your tears as you started to leave with your friends.

Trent didn’t move, he was still hoping for you to come back.

Maybe in another universe.

[planetpedri]

To say hello — Trent Alexander-Arnold.

Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Fem!Reader

Summary: Seeing your ex was no fun thing, but sitting beside him on a two hour flight was even worse. And you realize, to say ‘hello’ was to allow so much more.

Word count: 2k+

Disclaimer/s: Slight angst , hopeful/happy ending.

A/N: Nobody wants him the way I do.

The first time you’d seen Trent after your breakup was on a flight to Paris. You were nearly late to your plane. Traffic had delayed your planned arrival, then the lines were horrific, and you’d had to run across the whole airport just to get to your gate on time. Luckily, you got in with five minutes to spare.

Quickly finding your first class seat, you scan the rows. 1B.. 2B.. 3B.. oh.

Your heart sunk.

His seemingly did too, all the color draining from his face as he processed just who you were. He choked out your name, his eyes blinking rapidly.

“That’s my seat.” You mumble, motioning to the window seat. There was such a little chance of this ever happening, but of course with your luck it did.

Trent unbuckles and stands from his seat to allow you out of the isle, his eyes staying trained on you the whole time. It’d been well over a year since the two of you had seen each other, so he was simply taking in all your differences.

An hour passed, and neither of you talked. You’d forcefully kept your legs leaning against the side of the plane, your whole body shifting away from him. Trent on the other hand, had played it off as cool as possibly by sitting normally and watching a movie on the screen provided. He couldn’t help the few glances he stole your way, but then again, neither could you.

Eventually, when the food came, you were forced to sit normally, that’s when Trent spoke to you for the first time.

“Hello.” He finally sighs, playing with his food.

“Hey.” You reply, taking a bite to focus on anything but the awkward silence that followed.

Trent glanced your way, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “What are the chances?”

“Trent.” You huff, “i’m trying to eat.” You didn’t even have an appetite. He seemed to have that effect on you. Every time you were reminded of him, you couldn’t eat for hours. Whether it was from the longing to see him again, or the hatred that bubbled within you, you weren’t all too sure.

The Scouser didn’t seem to care, as he continued talking to you for the rest of the flight. Of course, you eventually entertained it, because the more you talked, the less he did. Trent was always a listener, and when he did, he kept his mouth shut.

Finally, the plane landed and you made your hasty escape. Trent didn’t even have a chance to call after you, to say the things he’d been trying to gain the courage to tell you for months. You were gone.

That night, lying in his hotel overlooking the beautiful city of love, Trent couldn’t hold it in. He’d dialed your number, refilling his glass in the process.

You pick up with a low groan, half asleep as you speak. “It’s midnight, Trent. Go to sleep.”

“I miss you, and I know I messed up.” He sighs, not even giving you a moment to process what he was saying before he continues. “I’m sorry.”

There’s shuffling on his end, and you hear the ice clinking into the sides of a glass. Thats when you register the slur in his accent. Annoyance grows within you. These were drunken thoughts, they didn’t mean anything.

“You still have my number saved.” Another beat of silence where he whispers out your name, “say something.”

“You’re drunk. Go to sleep.” You don’t deny it because yes, you did. In the year since your break up, you had failed to get yourself to the point of deleting his existence. You didn’t know why, but the thought of erasing his once meaningful presence was hard to do.

“Good night, Trent.” And with that, you hung up, sinking into your pillow with a soft exhale.

The summer had passed, and in that time you hadn’t heard from Trent again. Clearly, that night in Paris had been nothing but a drunken mistake. A mistake that left you reliving every moment with him. In the three years you’d dated, it had taken three months to relive all your best memories. For three months, he was all you could think about.

Trent hadn’t even attempted to get ahold of you, maybe out of shame, maybe because he simply didn’t care. You were beginning to think rejecting him that night was the worst decision you’d ever made.

Now, driving through the rugged English roads, you couldn’t control the way your fingers slid across your phone’s screen, dialing the number you had engraved into your mind.

It had only dialed for a count of three, before the sleepy hum of your name was heard. “‘Something wrong?” He asks, exhaustion clear in the way he spoke, but alongside it was concern. It was like all those months ago, but the roles had been reversed.

“Hello.” You finally get out, “I miss you, too.”

Trent doesn’t chuckle, he doesn’t sigh, he doesn’t grunt. He does wake up fully, though, sitting up straight in his bed. “Where are you?”

“Uhm, somewhere near fifth and chord? I’m not too sure..”

“Come over?” His voice holds a hint of pleading, and you were weaker than ever.

“Do you still live in the same apartment?” You ask, already turning to make your way there instinctively, assuming he hadn’t moved in the year you’d broken up.

You had imagined the small smile growing on his face as he heard the blinker, you could practically hear it in his voice. “Yeah, you can let yourself in.”

It’s your turn to smile, “do you seriously still leave your key above the door? Trent, how many times do I have to tell you how dangerous that is?”

He’d lied, of course. He just missed that scolding tone in your voice, the one filled with amusement but genuine care.

“I’m joking!” He laughs, “i’ll leave the door unlocked.”

Once you’d reached his apartment, and long since hung up, you give yourself a few moments to think about what you were doing. This was a stupid idea. He was your ex. You weren’t supposed to allow these things to happen.

Opening the door, you hesitantly make your way inside. It was clean, surprisingly. He hadn’t always been this tidy when you were dating, so it was a pleasant surprise. You slip off your shoes and set your purse on one of the hooks.

“Trent?” You call out, walking through the kitchen into the living room, and down the hall toward his bedroom.

He opens the door, his eyes darting across your face as if he was trying to assure himself you were really there. “Hello.” He says softly, opening the door wider to invite you in.

You don’t respond, your skin crawling by simply being in his presence again. Walking into his bedroom, your eyes trace the small changes, other than the lack of your things, it hadn’t changed much. Trailing your fingers across his desk, you pause, eyes finding their way back to his closet.

Your spot there was still untouched. Empty. He hadn’t filled it in with his own clothes, that you knew he needed. Trent had an excess of clothes, he always needed more space, yet he never touched your side.

Your eyes flicker to his, and he seemed to catch what you were thinking. “I didn’t think it’d last this long.” He admits.

Pursing your lips, you nod, although it didn’t make sense. You’d been broken up for well over a year now, so that wasn’t necessarily an excuse.

You found your way to his bed, slowly sitting down on it. Trent watches from afar, still leaning against the wall a few feet from his door. He takes careful note of your every move, every expression.

“So, now what?” You finally ask the question that was weighing on both of your minds as you play with the comforter.

Trent’s quiet, not knowing how far he should push this. “Stay the night, it’s late. We can talk tomorrow.”

Your eyebrow quirks, “no silly shit. Just sleeping.” You point at him accusatorially, which elicits a laugh from the man.

“Wouldn’t dream of pulling any ‘silly shit’.”

“I need pajamas.” You huff, pushing yourself off the bed and wadding towards his closet. “And—“

“Extra toothbrushes are under the sink, along with makeup remover.” He grins, cutting you off.

Rolling your eyes, you take a tee shirt from his closet. “You’ve been waiting for this day. Or, oh lord. Trent, have you been preparing for other girls?” You feign hurt, clasping a hand over your heart.

Trent leans against the doorframe of the walk in closet, grinning down at you, but a hint of sincerity flashes across his face. “I definitely wouldn’t dream of that.”

You try not to let the clear relief show on your face, but you couldn’t stop the twitch of your lips. “Interesting.” You nod, ducking under his arm as you make your way toward the bathroom.

Like a lost puppy, Trent follows you there too. “And you?” He asks, eyebrows lifted curiously.

“Turn around first.” You motion with your finger for him to turn around, which he does so with zero hesitance. While changing into the shirt, you finally answer. “There’s been one guy.”

Despite the ache in his heart, he nods in understanding. “Who?”

“He’s not important. It only lasted a month, if even that.” You shrug, “you can turn around.”

He does so, doing his best not to feel the satisfaction of your words and the fact that you were wearing his clothes, not that other guys. You were still his.

“A month? Only?” He asks smugly, moving toward the sink beside you.

Grabbing the extra toothbrush and makeup remover, you glance at him through his reflection in the mirror. “Unfortunately, he just wasn’t you.” The admission held so much weight, but it was the truth.

“That’s unfortunate… for him.” Trent hums. The bathroom is filled with a comfortable silence as you go about your nightly routine, a familiar feeling forming within you.

How many nights had you two done this exact routine together? How many nights had you felt so completely at home with Trent beside you? How many nights had it not ended it an argument, rather with you laying in his arms as you both fell asleep with nothing but love in your hearts?

With a barren face, you lean against the sink, your hip being the only thing keeping you steady. “Why are we doing this? It’s been a year and a half.”

“Because it’s what’s right.” He answers honestly, “and it was a long time coming.”

You couldn’t argue with that. You’d fallen asleep dreaming about being in his arms once again. There wasn’t a singular time in which you’d wished to be with anyone but Trent.

As the two of you both make your way back to Trent’s bed, you let yourself feel the things you’d denied yourself for so long. A small smile growing on your lips when you climb into the bed and Trent pulls you into his side, tugging the covers over the two of you.

With your head resting in the crook of his neck, you inhale his scent, the smell bringing you back to when everything was perfect between the two of you. This was where you belonged.

It didn’t take long for sleep to consume you, but Trent stayed awake for a little longer. He needed the reassurance that you weren’t going anywhere, that you were here, in his arms, for good.

Then he fell asleep with a smile, and everything was okay again. Because this was what he’d longed for. Despite all the time spent apart, it all seemed worth it as long as you were with him, even if it was only momentary.

You were still his, and he as forever yours.

Likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. Feel free to lmk if you want tagged in any of my posts <3

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[heyhihellosworld]

𝐔𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭

Trent Alexander-Arnold x reader

Word count: 2.5k

Summary: Your nephew loves Trent

Warnings: Pure fluff, mentions of stress

Notes: Seen too much kid-content so had to write something fluffy with kids. Not sure what this is, also tried to read through it in the middle of the night so it's probably a lot of grammar mistakes

"Pancakes?" you suggested, rolling your eyes as you heard a strong buzz sound, marking that pancakes wasn't what he wanted. "Cereal?"

buzzz

You took a breath, turning back from the fridge to look at the little beast.

"What do you want to eat then? I've said everything we have at home" you asked, watching his shoulders shrug.

"Can you make something yummy?"

"I told you what I can make already" you voiced watching his pouting face "but it's all not good" he whined, testing your limits

he is a kid, he is only a kid, don't yell, he is a kid

The small boy looked at you with big eyes, sensing you were upset with him which upset him and suddenly your heart melted, feeling stupid for getting agiated by him. He was only four, learning his way but you were spent to your limits after the day's work. You worked directly under your boss for the time being. You were supposed to learn the work and had a three months ‘test’ period where you were eased into it. The only problem was that you were next to your boss who was an absolute prick, treating you like his personal assistant making you go nuts and work way too much and hard. When you had crawled out of the office your brother had called for emergency babysitting as he'd had to work late and Leo's mother was on a work-trip.

"It's okay baby" you sighed, lifting the small boy up from the floor, feeling him snuggling into your chest contently, happy you weren’t mad at him.

"What about we go order food from somewhere huh? We can take the car" you hummed feeling relieved when the little boy squealed in delight. "Can we go take nuggets?" he asked hopefully, his eyes impossible to say no to

"Sure, we can go to mc" you promised, laughing as he squealed once again, fisting your hoodie in his small hands in happiness.

-

Leo as he was named was a very chatty boy, always happy and smiling, unless he was hungry. He had been your number one fan since he was born... at least until he came along.

You loved him, you did. After you'd first met him at that club on your first date and now even after you'd dated for almost three years you still loved him but you would never stop hating him for taking your fan. Because since you'd introduced Trent to your family he had taken the spotlight and suddenly he was all Leo cared about.

He was his biggest idol, the one he wanted to be when grown up and the one he wanted attention from. He had his shirts and posters in his room, stuff you'd helped him out off. He idolized Trent and you loved that because you idolized Trent too but he took your sweetheart away and you would never forgive that

.

You'd just arrived home from picking up your food when Trent let himself in in your shared home. "I'm home!" he shouted as always as he took off his shoes and popped his washbag into the machine, he didn't expect to be met with small feets tumbling at him, Leo's bright smile making him laugh as he picked the little guy up in his arms, swinging him around. "What are you doing here little man?" he asked sweetly, gently stroking his cheek as he giggled adorably. "Daddy had work and mom is not home" he answered knowingly making Trent hum

"What have you done then and where is y/n?"

Leo looked down sheepishly, not meeting Trent's eyes anymore as he mumbled "she is in the kitchen"

Trent looked at the little guy, knowing it was more he wanted to say "she is mad at me" he hummed, Trent's eyebrows raising "why would she be mad?"

Leo looked down again, chewing on his lip "I didn't want to eat anything at home and she was upset so we went to Mc" he mumbled sheepishly, looking down on Trent’s shirt

"I'm sure she isn't mad at you" Trent hummed, gently stroking his tummy as he met his eyes again "no?"

"No sweetie" Trent smiled, taking him with him into the kitchen where you stood, plating your food up. He could say from just watching you that you were stressed and tense, your moves erratic and stiff.

"Hey babe" He mumbled, wrapping his free arm around your waist as he kissed your cheek, Leo clambering stuck on Trent's side.

"Hey, how was training?" you hummed, turning to him with a soft smile, inviting him to peck your lips.

"It was fine, nothing special" he told you truthfully "how was your day?"

You shrugged "it was alright" you lied, smiling at him as best you could. It was starting to get too much but you had to keep it together in front of Leo, not wanting him to think you were mad at him because you truly weren't

You finished plating up Leo's food, taking it out to the sofa as Tren't put him down on the floor

"Here you go sweetie" you smiled, watching him hesitate "what's up?" you tried softly, his big eyes looking up at you

"I'm sorry I made you mad" he mumbled, his lips trembling, your heart clenching at the sight

"No baby, it's okay I'm not mad at you, not at all" you softly smiled, lifting him up and kissing his cheek "I'm mad at some annoying people at my work, not you. Okay?"

He nodded, a smile crackling over his face as you put him down, putting on the tv as Trent sat down beside him.

When he dug in you saw your escape, going back to the kitchen to take a breather  but Trent followed you just a minute later.

“Leo told me he had upset you”

His words made you grimace “Well it wasn’t my attention to but just ugh”

Trent chuckled, kissing you softly “It is okay to not feel great all the time you know,  don't try to hide it”

“You’re so poetic” you mocked, his eyes rolling at you playfully

It was late, way too late when you stumbled through your door. Trent had called two hours ago, wondering where you were but you hadn't given him an understandable answer, just mumbling that you had to go and would come home soon. Your boss had been a real bitch, again and needed you to clean up his mess, again.

You threw your shoes off before hurrying into the living room only for it to be empty. It took a moment to recognize where the voices were coming from but soon enough you located them from the kitchen.

Guilt prickled your skin as you breathed away the bad thoughts. You were supposed to be home at two to collect Leo from your brother but when he'd call and ask where the fuck you were you could only curse because you'd forgotten all about it. 

Instead Trent had welcomed him at the training ground before driving home to yours.

It was shitty, you knew it was not acceptable and you felt ashamed as you walked into the kitchen, stopping in the doorway as you spotted the two.

Trent and Leo both stood with their backs to you, laughing and giggling as they rolled up cookie dough on a tinplate. "No no you're doin it all wrong!" Leo giggled as Trent put down a ball on the folie

"What?! What do you mean buddy it's perfect" Trent argued, causing the little boy to giggle, shaking his head "No it's ugly T"

"Hey, what are you calling ugly!" Trent joked, smearing a bit of cookie dough on his nose causing the little boy to let out a shriek of laughter as he launched on Trent who swiftly threw him up in the air laughing with him.

The sight made your eyes water and chest tighten at how perfect it was. Such a moment you never wanted to forget.

"Hey boys" you voiced made them both turn around, Leo's face shone up as he saw you, tugging your heart "Aw hey buddy" you whispered as you took him in your arms, lifting him up on your chest, ees watering even more as he snuggled into your neck" Hi Y/n, I missed you"

"I missed you too, did you have a good day with Trent?"

You diverted your eyes to your boyfriend who stood facing you, leaning back against the counter with his hands and a content smile on his face, telling you it was okay even though it didn't feel like it.

"It was the best! I got to play with them and then we watched a movie, ate burgers then we made cookies for you because we know it's your favorite!" he cheered, your heart feeling too emotional, too moved for this greeting.

"Aw how nice of you" you hummed, kissing his cheek before putting him down on the floor again. The little boy quickly jumping up on the chair he was standing on.

"Okay buddie, it's time for the owen, ten minutes then we wait five before eating and then my little man it's bedtime" Trent hummed, Leo listening intently, nodding at his words "Can I watch tv whilst we wait for cookies?" he asked sweetly, his small eyes blinking up pleadingly in that way that made him get whatever he wanted.

"Yeah sure, you go we will clean up here" Trent chuckled as he looked after the boy who had already sprinted out to the couch quickly putting on his favorite program.

"I'm sorry!" you wailed, looking at him with guilt written all over you body. Trent chuckled, taking two long steps before wrapping his arms around you "It's okay love" he mumbled, kissing the top of your head "No no it's not Trent. I should've been here when my brother dropped him off at two and now the clock is eight thirty"

"I know how your boss is, so does your brother and he wasn't mad, not at all he just felt bad for you"

"I really am sorry" you sniffled, burying your face in his shirt, his arms wrapping tightly around you, stroking your back comfortably "It's okay, I promise. I know how important your work is for you even though it's shit and I want you to do what you dreamt off and you are soon there. In a week you’ve paid off the shit time with him and can pursue your dream. I wanna help you reach your dream just like you helped me reach mine so don't say sorry. it's the least I could do after everything you've done for me"

You looked at him with love-eyes. Kissing his chest where you could reach before he bent down to give you a kiss "I love you T"

"Love you y/n"

"Okay okay let's take out the cookies now you hummed after a few moments of just relaxing in his body. The smell of cookies filled the kitchen and he nodded, taking the tinplate and putting up plates and ice cream before calling in Leo who looked starstruck at the sugar shock he would most definitely get before sleep but it was worth it, seeing his face and cozying up between your favorite boys in front of the tv.

It was the annual bbq saturday, one day every summer the whole fam got together, grilling and hanging out at your parents summer house. It was a nice tradition and everybody always made sure to be there. What had first been a smaller gathering with your brother, parents, cousins, grandparents and uncles and aunts had now become a big group with partners and kids but the more the merrier, at least when it came to family.

Trent had been to the annual BBQ for four years in a row now, the first time as your friend though nobody believed that for a second. Your parents had fallen in love with him the first time they'd met him. His sweet smile and helping hand not taken for granted and quicker than ever before he was an obvious part of the fam. Your brother was a bit reluctant at first but the second you'd introduced Trent to Leo you brother couldn't fight the fact that he was a nice guy.

"So y/n, when is he gonna take the next step? It's three years now huh?" one of your cousins asked smugly, making you chuckle "I'm in no hurry you know. I don't want a proposal for at least two years" you admitted, creating a wall of hums "Two years?"

"Yeah, we are still young and I don't want to hurry into marriage. I love him and that's all that matters at the moment. I want to get married when we are thinking of starting an family""Oooh"

Your eyes rolled "Not anytime soon"

Your conversation was cut short by Trent who ran towards you, Leo on his back giggling like a maniac as Trent lifted him around, playing airplanes or whatever he did. A fond smile grew on your face as Trent gave you the laughing boy for a second, taking time to catch his breath as you played with him in your arms before he was off on Trent’s shoulders again.

"You really did a great choice" your mothers soft voice was heard from behind you, your eyes met her sincere ones and you nodded "I really did"

"I know everybody is pressing about an engagement, babies and marriage but don't listen to them. What you have is unique, he is so in love with you and you are so in love with him. Just look at how Leo loves him, he will be an awesome dad whenever the day comes and you will be a wonderful mother. There is no need to rush because your love is true"

You smiled at your mother, hugging her tightly "It really feels real"

"Finally" your mother chuckled, hinting at your past boyfriends that she did in fact not like at all and you giggled

"But seriously y/n, you deserve this, happiness"

You just smiled at Trent, watching as he jogged up to you with Leo in his arms again "Heyy what are you talking about?" he smiled, handing you Leo who were grabbing after you

"Nothing" you hummed, taking the now tired boy. "Just how amazing you are"

"Oh really?" he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at your mother who chuckled back"Do you want anything to drink?" Trent asked after a couple of seconds

"Yeah sure""Okay, i'll be right back I love you" he smiled, pecking your lips softly"Love you T"

[judeslove]

first time

pairing - trent x gn!reader genre - fluff, slight angst warnings - stress, petnames (love, babe, etc), intended lowercase summary - this req

you hadn’t met trent‘s parents yet. it was a big step in a relationship to meet the family, although you already met his siblings. your head was clouded with stress, causing you to get no sleep.

you walked into the the kitchen and checked the time. it read 2:34am. you filled up the glass of water and chugged it down. the cold liquid against your throat made your skin shiver from the temperature. then you felt hands snake around your waist and a steady warm breath against your neck.

”why aren’t you in bed?” trent whispered. he was slowly swaying you side to side, making you lean into his touch.

“couldn’t sleep”

he mumbled a quiet mhm before telling you to come with him to bed. you eventually obeyed him, walking to the bedroom. the floor whined as you heard the trees scratching against the windows. everything was so peaceful. yet your mind wasn’t.

you layed on the bed, tangling your legs in trent’s, a wave of sleep washing over you but you just couldn’t sleep. your eyelids felt heavy, but you couldn’t close them. all you could do was think of all the worst possibilities. what if trent’s mum or dad doesn’t like me? what if they want me gone? what if they think i’m after his money? a pet on your head snapped you from your insecure thoughts.

“what’re you thinking ‘bout love?” trent muttered. even though the room had no light, you could still see a worry on his face. he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear as he brushed your cheek.

“i’m just, y’know i’m excited to meet your parents but i feel like they might not like me. i’m not good at first impressions and i don’t want them to hate me so i’m just very nervous, sorry” you admitted. you felt guilty of your word vomit but also you felt more empty. now that you let all your feelings out you could feel a sense of emptiness and embarrassment in you.

trent nodded along your words, understanding your situation. his hands dropped from your head to your waist.

“it’s okay, don’t apologise. i understand you, but i highly doubt that they wouldn’t like you. we’re literally like the same person” he reassured you, making your doubts go away.

—

you got up from bed. trent was still asleep, his eyes closed as his mind was roaming. you pulled the blanket off of you, getting up and making your way to the bathroom.

“come back to bed” trent complained. you giggled at him, thinking how silly he looked.

—

you walked into his parents living room. you were ready to meet his parents. although you felt scared and a bit stressed, you remembered last night. your anxiety was wiped away from your head as you sat on the couch.

his mum was gorgeous, and his dad was walking along with her.

“hello” you greeted. they greeted you back and then you sat on the couch. after a long and exhausting conversation about the relationship between you and trent, you were ready to leave. you put your shoes on as you intertwined your and trent’s hands together in a tight grip.

—

your bed felt softer than ever. your eyelids were heavy as you immediately fell asleep. a smile was painted on your face as you felt trent hug you.

“i told you that they’ll like you” he chuckled.

💌 judeslove on tumblr.

[starlitmelanin]

ink on paper I trent alexander-arnold

pairing - husband!trent × wife!reader

word count - 1.1k

warnings - none

summary - you never truly wanted a divorce, but stupid words led you to sitting in an attorney's office.

it had been raining that morning.

you remember because you had watched the droplets race down the window as you sat at the breakfast table, the cold silence between you and trent almost palpable.

the coffee tasted bitter, but you weren't sure if it was because of the cheap teabag or the resentment brewing between you two.

things hadn't always been this way. there was a time when every touch, every glance, was filled with warmth and affection. you still remember the first time he looked at you, really looked at you, with those intense eyes of his. it was at a mutual friend's party, and you had laughed at some silly joke, and there he was, across the room, grinning at you like you were the only person there.

it was intoxicating.

but life had a way of getting complicated. trent's career demanded so much of him, and while you tried to be understanding, there were moments when the loneliness became too much to bear. late nights turned into arguments, arguments into shouting matches, and before you knew it, you were standing in the middle of the kitchen, throwing hurtful words at each other like knives.

that morning had been the final straw.

he had come home late, again, and you had stayed up waiting, again. when he walked in, you had tried to keep calm, to talk it out like adults. but the exhaustion in his eyes and the frustration in yours sparked something ugly. words were exchanged, things that couldn't be taken back.

"maybe we should just call it quits," you had shouted, your voice breaking.

"maybe we should," he had replied, and the silence that followed was deafening.

now, as you sit across from him in the attorney's office, you can't help but feel a pang of regret. trent is looking at the floor, his jaw clenched, and you can tell he's trying to keep it together. this isn't what either of you wanted. it's just what it had come to.

the lawyer is droning on about the division of assets, but you can barely focus. all you can think about is the first time you and trent had walked through the door of your house, newlyweds with stars in your eyes. you remember the way he had picked you up and carried you over the threshold, both of you laughing like fools.

it seemed like a lifetime ago.

"do you understand the terms as we've discussed?" the lawyer asks, pulling you out of your reverie.

you nod, but your mind is elsewhere.

it's on the countless nights you spent waiting for him to come home, the missed calls, the arguments. but it's also on the nights he held you close, whispered sweet nothings in your ear, and promised forever.

"y/n," trent's voice breaks through the haze. he's looking at you now, really looking at you, and for a moment, it feels like it did back then. "are you sure this is what you want?"

you open your mouth to speak, but the words catch in your throat. you had been so certain when you made the decision, so sure that it was the only way to stop the pain. but now, sitting here, you aren't sure of anything.

"i don't know," you finally whisper, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. "i just... i don't know."

trent's expression softens, and for a moment, you think he might reach across the table and pull you into his arms. but he doesn't. he stays where he is, a safe distance away, just like the past few months.

the lawyer clears his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the emotional display. "perhaps we should take a break," he suggests, shuffling his papers awkwardly.

you nod, grateful for the respite. you stand up, your legs feeling unsteady, and make your way to the restroom. once inside, you lean against the sink, staring at your reflection in the mirror. you look tired, worn out. this whole ordeal has taken its toll on you.

as you splash some water on your face, you think about all the things you wish you could say to trent. how you miss him, how you never wanted things to end up like this. how you still love him, despite everything.

when you return to the conference room, trent is standing by the window, looking out at the rain-soaked streets. he turns when he hears you come in, and there's a sadness in his eyes that mirrors your own.

"do you remember our first date?" he asks quietly, as you take your seat.

you nod, a small smile tugging at your lips. "of course. you took me to that little italian restaurant on the corner. we laughed so much that night."

trent chuckles, but it's a hollow sound. "i thought i was going to screw it up. i was so nervous.”

"you were perfect," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.

the room falls silent again, the weight of everything unsaid hanging between you. the lawyer re-enters, looking between the two of you with a mixture of sympathy and professionalism.

"shall we continue?" he asks, but you can tell he's hoping you'll call the whole thing off.

you glance at trent, searching his face for any sign that he wants to fight for this, for you. but all you see is the same weariness you feel.

"let's get this over with," trent says, his voice flat.

and just like that, the moment is gone.

you sign the papers, your hand shaking slightly, and when it's trent's turn, he does the same. it feels surreal, like you're watching someone else's life fall apart.

as you leave the office, the rain has stopped, leaving the streets glistening under the afternoon sun. you walk in silence, side by side but miles apart. when you reach your car, you turn to trent one last time.

"i’m sorry," you say, and you mean it with every fibre of your being.

trent nods, his eyes filled with a sorrow that breaks your heart all over again. "me too.”

you want to reach out, to hold him, to take back every hurtful word you ever said. but you don't. instead, you get into your car and drive away, leaving behind the man you still love and a life that could have been.

sometimes, love isn't enough to fix what's broken. and as you navigate the streets, you realise that this is one of those times.

the tears come then, hot and unstoppable, and you let them fall, mourning the loss of what once was and what could never be.

[trentsgirl]

— 🤍 ⋆⭒˚｡⋆ (1.5K)

⟡ summary: trent has been your best friend since childhood, always doing everything together. however, he secretly fell for you, and you did as well. when trent finally mustered the courage to confess his feelings, it wasn’t the outcome he’d expected.

⟡ content: angst, fluff, tiny mention of domestic violence, insecurities, reader is insecure and self sabotages, first half is pure angst, he fell first and harder, confessions, kissing, reader rejects trent.

⟡ notes: thank you so much for the request. and part two would be released in a bit, couldn’t leave y’all hanging like my last fanfic. 😭

⟡ streaming: fallingforyou by the 1975.

⟡ masterlist, request, request.

“he’s done it again, hasn’t he?” trent inquired when he discovered you in his doorstep, bawling your eyes out.

throughout the years, he had witnessed countless partners enter and exit your life, inflicting both physical and emotional pain. as your best friend, trent had been there by your side through it all.

he observed you waste your life, pursuing men who didn’t have an once of regard for you.

he loathed it.

he couldn’t comprehend why you never seemed to notice him. he had always been there for you, ready to lend a listening ear and provide support. unlike those men you encountered on random dating apps, he never let you down.

if only you had looked his way, it would have been a straightforward case of unrequited love.

“let it out, sweetheart. cry all want,” trent whispered, his voice barely audible, as the two of you sat on his couch.

you held him so tightly that it became difficult for him to breathe.

nevertheless, he didn’t mind. he cherished the fact that despite the countless men who had caused you harm, you still sought solace in him and placed immense trust in him.

you sobbed, your face buried in trent’s chest. he continued to plant gentle kisses on your hair, providing solace despite the discomfort of remaining in the same position.

after what felt like hours, the tears finally stopped as you couldn’t get anymore out.

trent’s fingers stroked your hair as you calmed down and pulled away from his chest, your eyes red and swollen.

“i’ve ruined your shirt,” you sniffled, glancing at the tear stains on his clothing.

trent shook his head, looking at you affectionately, his shirt being the last thing on his mind. his sole focus was on your well-being.

“don’t worry about it,” he reassured, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, a gesture that felt intimate more than it should be. “feeling better now? would you like me to make you some tea?”

trent’s voice resonated with a tender and charming tone that never failed to make you feel like the only woman he’s ever had eyes for, even though you doubted it was truly the case.

despite your love for him, you were well aware that he would never reciprocate those feelings as he simply deserved someone better, as you claimed.

“yes, please,” you nodded with a subtle smile, sniffling.

“you still got the cinnamon flavor one?” you asked with a sweet tone, causing trent’s heart to melt at the sound of your voice. and not to mention the look in your eyes, filled with both a plea and a dazzling allure.

trent always made sure to have a variety of tea flavors in his kitchen cabinet because he knew how much you loved tea. whenever you introduced him to a new favorite flavor, he would add it to his collection.

after giving you another kiss on the forehead, trent released his hold on you and got up from the couch. “of course. i’ll be right back,” he said and disappeared into the kitchen.

as trent brewed your tea, he contemplated whether this moment was opportune to finally confess his feelings that he had harbored for you all these years.

however, upon further reflection, he acknowledged that the outcome may not align with his desires. he was aware that you had recently ended a relationship and were in a vulnerable state, making it unfair to burden you with his feelings at this time.

a few minutes later, trent returned and placed a cup of tea on the table in front of you.

“it’s still hot, so give it a few minutes,” he informed, taking you into his arms once again and wrapping one arm around your shoulder. he sought your touch as much as you did his.

“thank you,” you whispered quietly, trying to hold back a sob, but it managed to escape. trent’s caring actions alone brought out all your emotions again.

trent gently stroked your hair, trying to comfort you. “hey, it’s okay. no need to cry anymore. he won’t hurt you again.”

you gently shook your head, your voice trembling as you spoke, “no, it’s not about him.” you were well aware that your ex could no longer inflict any harm upon you, not with trent right by your side.

“i’m just grateful to have you in my life and i don’t think i’ll ever come across someone like you, who truly sees me for who i am.”

trent was deeply moved by your words, to say the least. before he could respond, you continued expressing your thoughts.

“i mean... all guys ever seem to want is sex, and it’s exhausting,” you vented with a hint of frustration in your voice. “it’s just so scary that there’s no guarantee i’ll ever be loved.”

trent, who has loved you since childhood, leaned in closer, his comforting brown eyes meeting yours. “but you are loved,” he reassured, his voice a soothing balm to your fears. “you have your family, your friends...”

although his voice remained calm and soothing, a fire ignited within him for all the men who had caused you pain, who had made you believe that you were not enough.

“but not by the person i want,” your voice cracked, "in the way i want to be loved. fiercely. passionately. a love that makes me feel like the only woman in his universe.”

trent’s hand delicately brushed against yours, a silent gesture that sent a thrill through your body. his usually serene eyes flickered with an indiscernible emotion.

starting to speak, only to hesitate and close his mouth, as if carefully weighing his words to preserve the bond of your friendship.

he understood that confessing his feelings now would be a mistake, jeopardizing the relationship you had.

however, he couldn’t suppress his desire, his need for you to comprehend that there was someone in this world who loved and truly saw you for who you are.

“i…” trent started, his voice trailing off as he glanced down at your intertwined hands.

a weighty silence enveloped the air, pregnant with unexpressed emotions.

finally, he lifted his gaze, his eyes bearing a raw expression. “i love you, y/n.” he confessed.

your breath caught in your throat. the world suddenly felt askew, your heart fluttering like a trapped hummingbird within the confines of your ribcage.

had you heard him correctly? could this just be a cruel trick?

trent’s voice quivered with emotion as he confirmed, “i’ve always loved you,” his words faltered, “with every sunrise, every shared joke, every tear you shed, my love for you grew, silently and steadily. you are the only woman in my entire universe, y/n.”

tears welled up in your eyes. the ache in your chest transformed into a blossoming warmth.

you hadn’t been that oblivious… right?

the signs had been there, woven into the tapestry of your years together - the lingering touches, the inside jokes, the way your laughter harmonized.

however, instead of embracing his love and listening to your head as you should have done, you hesitated and withdrew, a tempest of doubts swirling within you.

no matter how much you loved and desired trent, your insecurities seemed to overpower your emotions. comparing yourself to the beautiful girls that always surrounded him and sought his attention, you never considered yourself one of them.

in your mind, he deserved someone like those models, someone who could effortlessly complement him.

not you, the girl who was always overshadowed whenever a group of guys flirted with your friends.

not you, the girl who constantly looked for validation from other men, only to be met with disrespect.

not you, the girl who remained in abusive relationships because all you wanted was to be loved, even if it meant enduring pain in the process.

“trent,” you whispered, your voice choked, “i’m so sorry, but it’s not a good idea for us to be in a relationship.”

his world splintered, the once-familiar sofa beneath him feeling treacherous. “not a good idea?” he managed to choke out, disbelief etching lines on his forehead.

“we’ve known each other our entire lives. we’ve shared everything, supported one another, and been there through thick and thin. you can’t say you haven’t something for me. you just can't.”

trent struggled to contain his frustration. he longed to yell, to shake some sense into you, and make you realize that he was the perfect man for you.

however, your own insecurities were overshadowing everything else.

you shut your eyes, hot tears streaming down your cheeks like glistening trails. “it’s not that simple, trent,” you murmured, your voice barely audible.

a deep divide formed between the two of you, the weight of his shattered hopes lingering in the air. the silence stretched, disrupted only by the rustle of wind coming from outside and the frantic pounding of his heart.

finally, trent, his voice strained with anguish, nodded. “alright, i understand.”

rather than a genuine understanding, it was an acceptance tinged with resignation.

he comprehended your rejection and your need for an invisible boundary between your friendship and the confession he had just made. he understood that pushing further would not dismantle the wall, but rather deepen the divide between you.

you tentatively reached out, your touch questioning and uncertain, seeking connection. however, he couldn’t bring himself to meet your gaze, fearing the reflection of his shattered hopes in your eyes.

trent withdrew his hand cautiously.

despite your intense longing to stay and pour out all the love you have harbored for trent over the years, the words remained trapped within you, unable to escape.

it felt as though a heavy ball had lodged itself in your throat, rendering you unable to speak the truth.

“i’m truly sorry, trent.” you whispered, rising from the couch and leaving his home.

trent patiently waited until he heard the front door open and close before allowing his tears to flow. he couldn’t believe it had come to this.

he had officially lost you.

[cinnaleaf]

「 Wildflower | One Shot 」

Anon Request: Trent x best friend!reader "Wildflower - Billie Eilish" | MASTERLIST

genre: pure angst wc: ~1.6k a/n: thank you for all your requests, i hope my interpretation fuels your angsty little hearts!

You never meant to love him like this.

Being his best friend wasn't supposed to hurt this bad. You were always in the background, like the wildflowers that grow on the side of the road. Delicate, yet resilient and waiting to be seen. You were always right in front of Trent, ready to give him everything but he kept looking past you and you hated it. Why were you still standing there, loving him when he already chose someone else?

Zoë.

You didn't hate her even though you really wanted to. She was pretty much everything you weren't. Her presence lit up any room, like a sunflower basking in the sun, drawing everyone's attention without doing much at all. Then there was you..a little wildflower growing in the shadows. Unnoticed. It wasn't Zoë's fault Trent treated you the way he did and you knew that, but you couldn't help feeling a little jealous every time you saw them together. You tried to ignore it, but you could feel Trent pulling away from you. He was being cold, distant, and mean. You didn't understand why and it hurt.

“I dunno why you're still here, Y/N,” Trent muttered in a sharp tone, pulling his hoodie over his head as he glanced at you. You were lounging on the couch, scrolling through your phone like you always did. The two of you grew up together and were practically inseparable, until now.

“Huh? What are you talking about?” you asked, feeling knots in your stomach. “You're always around,” he said, his gaze not quite meeting your eyes. “like I need you here or something.” His words slapped you in the face. You swallowed the lump in your throat, blinking back the tears threatening to spill over. “If you want me to leave..just say that. You don't have to be so damn rude about it.” Trent scoffed, running his hands over his face before looking back at you with cold eyes. “I'm saying it now, yeah?”

Something had changed, and you didn’t understand why.

“I know you don’t mean to hurt me, so I’ll keep it to myself” was like a mantra you kept repeating to yourself, willing yourself to believe it. You wanted it to be true so badly. You loved him but you wouldn't date admit it to him, especially not now.

You didn’t know he loved you just as much as you loved him. He tried so hard to avoid the feelings he had for you, even if it meant pushing you away. It wasn’t something he was ready to tackle yet. He was dating Zoë in an effort to distract himself from the way he felt about you. 

A couple of weeks later, you were at a random bar. It wasn't your usual spot, but Zoë invited you for whatever reason. She was sitting next to you, stirring her drink with a paper straw that was clearly getting soggy. You weren't close to her like you were with Trent, but she asked you to meet up and curiosity got the best of you. She was complaining for the last fifteen minutes, but you weren't really listening until something she said cut through the noise in your head.

“I don't know what's up with Trent,” Zoë said, sounding frustrated. “He doesn't even touch me like he used to anymore. He's there but he's not at the same time. I don't get it. He'll kiss me but then it's like his mind is somewhere else. It's so frustrating.” You froze as your fingers tightened around the glass in front of you. Every time Zoë told you something about him, it stung. He had been pulling away from you for months, but why was he pulling away from Zoë? Your heart did a stupid little flip, thinking maybe the reason he was acting so weird had to do with something else and not you.

“It's weird though,” Zoë added, not noticing the way your face went stone cold. “Sometimes he'll be staring at me and it's like he's trying, but then he just...doesn't.” Her words lingered in the air, you hated how much they made you yearn for something you never had. You wanted to know what it felt like to be held by him the way she did. You wanted to feel his lips on yours, his hands on your waist. You wanted him to really see you. But you weren't her. You weren't the sunflower in his life and it was crushing you.

“Maybe he's just stressed with the season? He gets intense sometimes…” you offered, knowing that probably wasn't it. All of you were lying. To yourself, and to each other. There was no good answer for any of this. Zoë nodded, continuing to swirl her drink as she pondered. “Maybe,” she sighed, resting her chin on her hand. “I really miss how it used to be when he’d come home from a match and kiss me like I was the only thing he cared about.” 

The thought of Trent kissing her and holding onto her like she was everything he needed made your chest tighten. You spent years being his best friend, hoping for scraps of affection just to not get any at all. Meanwhile, Zoë got all of it, even if it seemed to be fading.

It wasn't fair, but life never is. C'est la vie.

You stood in the stands of Anfield, surrounded by cheering fans. You shoved your hands deep into the pockets of your jacket. It was cold but Zoë's words still swirled around in your head, making you shiver. You didn't even know why you were at the match, but you were. You always went to every single one. Watching Trent move across the pitch was fun to look at any other time; he was a force out there. Would he even acknowledge you or look in the crowd for you like he used to? Or would you just be another face lost in a sea of red? You caught sight of Zoë a few rows in front of you, looking picture perfect as always. She was laughing with her friends, showing not a care in the world. Maybe they fixed things?

For the next 90 minutes your mind kept drifting, not focusing on the match at all. You wondered what it would be like having Trent come home to you, kissing you and telling you how much fun he had on the pitch. You used to be that person, albeit not in the way you wanted to be because there were never any kisses shared. Suddenly, it hit you in the middle of the match. You weren't jealous of Zoë, you were jealous of the version of Trent that was open and affectionate toward her. The version you never had and probably would never receive.

The crowd erupted into cheers after Liverpool secured the win. You should've been celebrating along with them but instead, you felt hollow. Your eyes followed Trent as he jogged off the pitch, he was in celebratory mode, joking with the team and laughing. He glanced at the stands for a quick second, and you thought maybe he was looking for you. Your heart did that stupid little flip again, even though you knew better. His eyes landed on Zoë and your stomach dropped. 

You couldn't do this anymore.

Without taking a second to think, you slipped out of your seat and headed to the exit as the noise of the stadium faded into the background. You didn't want to be there when he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. You can't look. Not tonight. Not ever again.

Your phone pinged as you made your way through the crowd but you ignored it. It was probably just a group chat about the match or a text from someone checking to see if you were still at the stadium. It really didn't matter anymore because you weren't coming back. You pushed through the exit, walking for what seemed like forever. You didn't want to stop because stopping meant thinking, and you did not want to think about Trent right now. He was never going to see you the way you saw him and you were done waiting for it to happen. Did he even notice that you were gone?

He noticed. 

The seat you always sat in was empty. He got used to scanning the crowd for you, it was his usual routine. You would always give him a smile or a thumbs up, but tonight there was nothing. 

Zoë was next to him talking about dinner plans, but he wasn't really listening. He couldn't stop thinking about you, and he knew he messed up. Something in his heart tugged, it was a feeling that had been there for a couple of months now. He kept ignoring it because it was easier that way. Pushing you away and acting like nothing changed was easier than admitting he loved you. And now you weren't there.

He glanced at Zoë, who was on her phone posting a picture they took post match. She didn't notice he was quiet, but he knew you would've noticed. You were always there through everything. The good, the bad, the ugly, the wins, and the losses. You were his rock, his constant. But he was so wrapped up in his own bullshit that he was scared to admit you were more than a friend to him. 

You were his wildflower, always there, waiting for him to see you. For the first time he realized he was too busy chasing the sun to notice the beauty growing that was right beside him for years. 

You were his everything, and now you were gone.

[pdriesta]

CHAPTER TWO

“even when it’s bad, i love you”

pairing — trentxblack!girl

genre — angst, angst and more angst

word count — 8k

summary — y/n and trent's once strong relationship is strained by his growing distance and her unexpected pregnancy. as they clash over their future, y/n faces the painful choice of leaving or staying. will they overcome their struggles and rebuild their love, or will their fractured bond break beyond repair?

an — this is actually the saddest thing i've ever written 😭 let me know your thoughts!

masterlist

the week following their fight had dragged on painfully, the weight of their last argument hanging heavily over y/n’s every moment. the once lively house had turned cold, empty in a way that felt unbearable. her days were slow, marked by nausea and exhaustion that compounded her emotional turmoil. trent’s calls came daily, but each time her phone buzzed, she couldn’t bring herself to answer. the sound of his voice would be too much, too raw. she couldn’t face him, not after the things he’d said.

her body ached with fatigue, the pregnancy symptoms adding to the emotional toll. mornings were spent hugging the toilet, afternoons lying in bed, the familiar weight of loneliness pressing against her chest. she couldn’t shake the image of trent’s face during their fight, the words he had thrown at her still ringing in her ears. she had never felt so far from him, so distant from the man she loved.

today, the phone buzzed again. trent’s name flashed on the screen, and for the first time in days, she hesitated. her heart raced as she picked up the phone, pressing it to her ear with shaky hands.

"y/n?" his voice was soft, hesitant, like he feared she might hang up before he could finish. "i’ve been trying to reach you... i—i just need to know how you’re feeling. how, uh... how’s—"

his voice faltered, and she knew he was trying to avoid saying it. her chest tightened, the anger bubbling up inside her. “go ahead,” she snapped, cutting him off. “say it. it's a baby, trent. you can say it.”

there was a pause on the other end, a heavy silence before he finally spoke again, his voice low and strained. “i know... i’m sorry. i just—how far along are you?”

her voice was clipped, raw, when she finally spoke. "i’m eight weeks."

trent inhaled sharply, and she could almost hear the gears turning in his head, the pause stretching out as he processed her words. when he finally spoke, his voice wavered, caught somewhere between disbelief and realization. "eight weeks... that’s... that’s the same weekend i proposed, isn’t it? when we were on vacation..."

before he could finish, y/n cut him off, her voice sharp, a bitter edge to her tone. "yeah, you proposed and then got me pregnant with a baby you’re not even interested in keeping, right?"

trent’s breath caught, and she could hear the shock in his silence. he wasn’t ready for the anger, the bitterness in her tone. “y/n, i didn’t... i didn’t mean for it to come out like that. i’m sorry, i’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you.”

her eyes stung with unshed tears, the hurt threatening to spill over. “why so you can tell how i’m not ready again? it’s not just about talking, trent,” she said, her voice trembling. “you made me feel like our child—like i—was a mistake. you talked about options like you didn’t care. you acted like this baby wasn’t even real.”

“no, that’s not true,” trent interjected, his voice breaking with urgency. “i was overwhelmed, and i said things i didn’t mean. i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry. i want this, y/n. i want you. i want our baby. i know i messed up, but please, let me make this right.”

y/n’s heart twisted, the pain too raw, too fresh. “you can’t just take back what you said,” she snapped, her voice rising. “you can’t just say you want this now and expect everything to be okay. you made me feel like our child and i were something you could discard.”

trent’s voice cracked with emotion, and y/n could hear the strain in his words. “i know, and i hate myself for saying it. i hate that i made you feel like that. i wasn’t thinking straight, but i want to make it better. i want to be there for you and our baby. just tell me what i can do. please, y/n.”

the desperation in his voice cut through her anger, but it didn’t dull the hurt. “you can’t just fix this with an apology,” she said quietly, her voice thick with emotion. “i don’t know if i can trust you anymore. you wanted to end this, trent. how am i supposed to believe that you’ve changed you’re mind overnight?”

“i have changed my mind,” trent’s voice broke with the weight of his words. “i’ve been thinking about nothing else since that day. i’m begging you, y/n, please come back. come home. let me show you that i mean it, that i want to be there for you and for our child.”

y/n shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. “it’s not that easy. you made me feel like a burden, like something you regretted. how am i supposed to just... forget that?”

trent’s breath hitched, his voice heavy with guilt. “i know i can’t take back what i said, but i can show you that i’m committed to you. to us. i’m scared too, but i want this, y/n. i want us.”

her heart wavered, the defenses she had built up over the past week beginning to crack. “i don’t know if i can believe you,” she whispered, her voice fragile. “i’m so scared, trent. i’m scared of losing you, and i’m scared of what this means for us.”

“you’re not going to lose me,” trent’s voice was firm, despite the emotion choking him. “i’m here, y/n. i’m not going anywhere. i want to be a father. i want to be the man you need me to be. please, come home. we’ll figure this out together.”

her heart twisted painfully at his words, the weight of her emotions pressing down on her. she wanted to believe him, wanted to feel the security she once had in their relationship, but the scars from their fight were still fresh.

“you really hurt me,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “i don’t know how to move past that.”

trent’s voice was quiet but filled with determination. “i know. and i’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. but i can’t do it if you’re not here with me. please, y/n, come home.”

her breath hitched, the emotion too much to hold back any longer. “i don’t know,” she said, her voice breaking. “i don’t know if i can.”

the line went quiet for a moment, the weight of their words hanging between them. finally, trent spoke, his voice soft, vulnerable. “i need you. i need our baby. please, don’t let this be the end.”

y/n pressed her hand against her belly, feeling the flutter of life growing inside her. the love she had for trent was still there, buried beneath the hurt, but it wasn’t enough to erase the pain. still, the thought of a future without him was unbearable.

“i’ll think about it,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “but i can’t promise anything.”

trent’s sigh of relief was audible, the weight of the conversation lifting, if only slightly. “that’s all i ask,” he said softly. “i’ll wait as long as it takes. i love you, y/n.”

with a shuddering breath, y/n ended the call. her body shook with sobs, the weight of everything overwhelming her. she looked down at her growing belly, a mixture of hope and fear swirling within her. the future was uncertain, but for now, she needed to heal, to find her way back to herself before she could decide what the next step would be.

the sky had darkened by the time trent arrived at y/n’s london home, heavy clouds gathering overhead like the tension that had been building between them for months. he stood at the door, shoulders hunched, his heart pounding against his ribcage as he rang the bell. the weight of what he was about to face made him feel sick.

y/n’s mother opened the door, her eyes filled with a somber understanding. “trent,” she greeted softly, stepping aside. “i am glad you came she needs you. she’s in the backyard. but listen, y/n’s been... different. her hormones are making things harder that expected. just be patient with her, okay?”

he nodded, the shame weighing heavily on his chest, every step toward the backyard feeling like walking deeper into the mess he'd made. his eyes found her sitting there, bathed in the soft glow of the setting sun, her shoulders slumped as their dog rested by her side. she hadn’t noticed him yet, and for a moment, he stood still, letting himself absorb the sight of her—really absorb it. two weeks without her had felt like a lifetime. she looked tired, worn in a way that hurt him more than he could say. her presence was so deeply ingrained in his life that without her, it was like trying to breathe with half his heart missing.

when she finally glanced up, her expression hit him harder than any of their fights. her eyes, once so warm and welcoming, held a cold distance, something he’d never seen from her. she stood slowly, brushing off her pants, the movement stiff, like the weight of everything between them was too much to bear. 

"you came," she muttered, her voice sharp and cutting through the silence. there was a bite to her words that stung him more than he’d expected.

trent swallowed, his throat tight as he took a step closer, though everything about her screamed that she wasn’t ready to let him in. her face was softer than he'd imagined, yet hardened by the lines of exhaustion and hurt. the sight of her, standing there, made the void in his chest ache even more. “i needed to talk to you. y/n, i—i’m so sorry.”

he couldn’t stop staring at her, couldn’t stop noticing how every detail of her had been seared into his life. the way her hair fell, the way she stood, even the way she avoided his gaze—it all felt like home, a home he wasn’t sure he deserved anymore.

her eyes narrowed, bitterness creeping into her tone. “sorry?” she echoed, her voice tight. “do you think that’s enough? after everything, ‘sorry’ is supposed to fix this?”

“no,” trent said quickly, his voice cracking. “i know it’s not enough. i’ve been... i’ve been distant, i know that. but i love you, y/n. you know that.”

her eyes blazed, and she took a step closer. “no,” she said, her voice firm, trembling with emotion. “i don’t know, trent. i don’t know if you love me. because if you did, you would’ve noticed that we’ve been falling apart.”

his heart clenched painfully. “i noticed,” he murmured. “of course i did. i just... i didn’t know how to fix it.”

“you didn’t even try,” she shot back, her voice rising. “the romance stopped, the touches stopped. we haven’t even been together, not really—not intimately, not emotionally. you come home, and it’s like i don’t even exist. weeks, trent. i waited weeks for you to let me in, to tell me what was going on. and you didn’t.”

he couldn’t meet her gaze, guilt clawing at him. “i know, y/n, i know. i’ve failed you. i’ve been so wrapped up in my own head, in everything, that i shut you out. but i want to change. i need to change.”

“you don’t get it,” she said, her voice breaking, eyes brimming with unshed tears. “i’ve felt like a stranger in my own home, trent. you stopped seeing me. and now, with this baby—this should’ve brought us closer, but all it did was push you further away.”

her words hit him like a tidal wave. “y/n, please,” he begged, stepping toward her. “i see you. i see you now. i know i’ve been a mess, but i swear, i’m here now. for you, for the baby. i’ll make it right.”

she shook her head, her tears spilling over. “how, trent? how can you make this right? you can’t take back what you said. you didn’t just hurt me—you made me feel like nothing. like we were nothing. you didn’t even want this baby.”

his breath caught in his throat. “that’s not true,” he whispered, desperate. “i was scared, i didn’t know how to deal with it. but i want this, y/n. i want you. i want our family.”

her expression twisted, a mix of pain and disbelief. “then why did you push me away? why did you never let me all the way in? why did you make this baby feel like a burden? like i was alone in this?”

he was at a loss for words. his chest tightened, and for the first time in a long time, he felt utterly powerless. “i’m so sorry,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “i thought i was protecting you. i didn’t want to drag you into everything I was feeling, but... i see now that all i did was hurt you.”

her sobs grew heavier, and she covered her face with her hands. “you hurt me so much, trent,” she whispered. “you shut me out for months, it’s like i can’t even recognize you.”

trent reached for her, but she stepped back, shaking her head. “don’t,” she choked out. “don’t touch me. i can’t... i can’t do this right now.”

the space between them felt insurmountable. “y/n,” trent whispered, tears welling in his own eyes. “please. i’m begging you, baby. i’ll do anything. just tell me what to do, and i’ll do it.”

her voice was barely audible, broken and raw. “i don’t know if there’s anything left to fix.”

y/n turned away already feeling the toll in her heart from the concvration setting in. it was too much; seeing him was a mistake. she had to go. trent stood there in stunned silence as y/n’s retreating form blurred through his unshed tears. everything inside him screamed to do something—anything—to stop her from walking away, from taking the last piece of his heart with her. his hands, trembling with desperation, shot out before he could stop himself, pulling her back into his arms.

“don’t say that,” he begged, his voice thick with emotion. “please, don’t give up on us.”

y/n’s body stiffened at first, but then, as if she’d been holding herself together for far too long, she melted against him. her resolve crumbled, her body sagging in his embrace, and for the first time in weeks, she let herself feel the weight of everything—the hurt, the exhaustion, the loneliness. she buried her face into his chest, sobbing quietly, her tears soaking through his shirt. they stood there, wrapped in a desperate embrace, both of them breaking and holding on at the same time.

trent’s arms tightened around her as if he was afraid that if he let go, she’d slip through his fingers, and this would all be over. “i love you, y/n,” he whispered, his voice cracking as he pressed his lips to the top of her head. “i love you so much. i’ve never stopped.”

the words tumbled out of him like a prayer, repeated over and over again, as if saying them enough times would make everything better. his lips brushed her ear, his breath shaky, “please, baby… please. don’t leave me.”

for a moment, it was as if time had stopped. they clung to each other, the world around them dissolving into the background. but even as they stood there, desperately seeking comfort in each other’s arms, the pain was still there—deep and raw, a wound that refused to heal.

y/n’s sobs quieted, and she slowly pulled away, just enough to look up at him. her tear-streaked face was a mixture of love and anguish, her eyes searching his, as if looking for a reason to believe that this could be fixed. but then, with trembling fingers, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the engagement ring. the sight of it in her palm shattered trent all over again.

“i can’t wear this,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “not now. not like this.”

trent’s heart twisted painfully, his throat constricting as he stared at the small, glinting band—the symbol of everything they had promised each other. his hands shook as he gently took the ring from her, the cold metal feeling heavy in his palm. he felt like he was losing a part of himself all over again.

“i’ll wait for you,” he said, his voice hoarse, barely above a whisper. “i’ll wait as long as it takes, y/n. i’m in love with you. i’m always going to be in love with you.”

he paused, his breath shaky as he searched for the right words, his heart pounding in his chest. “i’m in love with the girl who stayed up with me after games, even when i was too tired to talk. i’m in love with the girl who laughs at my worst jokes, who knows me better than i know myself. i’m in love with the woman who’s carrying our child—the strongest, most beautiful woman i’ve ever known. you’re everything to me. and i know i messed up. i know i pushed you away, but i swear to god, y/n, through it all, i never stopped loving you.”

his voice cracked, and he let out a shaky breath, the weight of his words sinking between them. “i’ll wait no matter how long it takes. because i can’t lose you. not like this.”

y/n’s eyes welled with fresh tears, her chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. she wiped her face with trembling hands, her body wracked with the weight of everything she’d been holding in. “i don’t know how we got here,” she whispered, her voice barely holding together. “i thought it would pass. that you’d wake up and see me but that day never came. i don’t even know how to find my way back.”

the silence between them was thick, suffocating. trent’s chest felt heavy, like the air itself was pressing down on him, making it impossible to breathe. he could see it—the breaking point, the moment he had feared for so long, just inches away. the more he tried to hold on, the more she seemed to slip from his grasp.

he reached for her again, his hands trembling as they cupped her face, his thumbs brushing away the tears on her cheeks. “we can find our way back,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “we have to.”

but even as he said it, he could feel the distance between them, the invisible wall that had grown between their hearts over the last few months. the intimacy, the connection they once shared—it had been stripped away, layer by layer, until there was barely anything left.

“you stopped trying,” she said, her voice soft but cutting, her words like knives to his already battered heart. “you came home and shut me out, trent. i was begging you to let me in, to tell me what was going on, but you just... you weren’t there. and i waited. i waited all this time for you to let me in, but you didn’t.”

trent swallowed the lump in his throat, the weight of her words sinking in. she was right. he had shut her out, buried himself in his own pain, his own confusion, and left her alone when she needed him most.

“i thought... if i could just fix myself, if i could figure it out on my own, then... then i could be better for you,” he admitted, his voice thick with regret. “but i see now... i was wrong. i should have let you in. i should have trusted you.”

y/n’s lips trembled, her eyes filled with a sadness that tore him apart. “we haven’t even... we haven’t even been us for months,” she whispered. “the touches, the love... it just stopped. we don’t even spend time together anymore. we haven’t had sex, we barely talk... we’ve been falling apart, trent, and you didn’t even notice.”

trent’s breath hitched,” i wan’t to fix us but i want to. i need to,”he whispered, his voice breaking

y/n shook her head, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. “it’s not just about fixing it. it’s about wanting to be here. wanting to be with me. and i don’t know if you still do.”

trent’s chest ached, his heart shattering under the weight of her pain. “i do. god, y/n, i do. more than anything. i want to be here, with you. i’m so sorry for everything i’ve done, for how i made you feel. i swear, i’m going to make this right.”

but as he said the words, as he looked into her tear-filled eyes, he couldn’t help but feel that it might already be too late. the cracks had formed, the damage done, and no matter how much he wanted to put the pieces back together, he couldn’t ignore the fear gnawing at him—that this might be the end.

y/n let out a shaky breath, stepping back from him, her body trembling with exhaustion and emotion. “i don’t know if i can do this,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

trent’s heart sank. he stepped forward, his hands reaching for hers, but she pulled them back, holding them close to her chest. he felt the distance growing between them, widening with every passing second, and he was powerless to stop it.

“please,” he begged, his voice thick with desperation. “don’t give up on us. not yet.”

for a moment, y/n stood there, her tear-streaked face filled with a mix of love and pain. then, slowly, she shook her head, her voice barely audible over the pounding of his heart.

“i’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “but i don’t know if i have anything left to give.”

trent’s world crumbled around him as she turned away, walking back into the house, leaving him standing there in the fading light, holding the engagement ring that no longer held the promise it once did. the storm in the sky above mirrored the storm inside him, and as the first raindrop fell, trent realized he had never felt more lost in his life.

y/n sat curled up on the couch beside her mom, her head resting against her shoulder as they both wrapped themselves in a thick blanket. the warmth of the fireplace crackled in front of them, casting a soft glow over the room. her mom absentmindedly stroked y/n’s hair, a gesture she had done ever since y/n was a child. it was comforting, but no amount of comfort seemed to wash away the heaviness that had settled in y/n’s chest.

"i remember when i was pregnant with you,” her mom began, her voice soft and nostalgic. “i couldn’t stop eating pickles. your father would joke that you’d come out with a sour face." she chuckled, shaking her head at the memory. “and when you started kicking, you didn’t stop. it was like you were determined to make your presence known even then.”

y/n smiled weakly, the story a welcome distraction, but her thoughts kept drifting back to trent. it had been a few days since their conversation, and though they’d exchanged texts here and there, something felt broken—like there was a wall between them now that hadn’t been there before.

her mum, always so intuitive, seemed to sense the weight on y/n’s heart. she paused, her hand stilling in y/n’s hair. “how are things with trent? really?”

y/n hesitated, biting her lip as she glanced down at her hands. “it… it didn’t go well.” her voice was barely above a whisper. “it hasn’t been good for a while now. i just don’t think he loves me anymore.”

her mum sighed softly, turning slightly so she could look at her daughter. “y/n, i’ve seen that boy with you from the very beginning. the day you brought him home, i knew he was head over heels in love with you. he looked at you like you were his entire world.”

y/n’s throat tightened, her voice cracking as she spoke. “but it doesn’t feel like that anymore, mom. he doesn’t want me… hasn’t for months.”

her mum shook her head gently, cupping y/n’s cheek in her palm. “you’re crazy if you think that. i saw the way he looked at you when he showed up here the other day. that same love is still there, y/n. he might be struggling, but he still breathes for you. trust me, i’ve been around long enough to know what real love looks like. and that boy? he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he’s still trying.”

y/n swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling her mom’s words sink in, but the doubt remained. “it doesn’t feel like it. i’m scared, mum. what if… what if i’m too much for him? what if this is too much for us?”

her mum’s expression softened as she kissed the top of y/n’s head. “you’re not too much. sometimes love gets hard, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone. give it time, give him time. you two will find your way.”

as her mom’s words settled, y/n felt her thoughts drift back to trent. she missed him—the way his presence grounds her, how his laugh could cut through the heaviest silences, and the comfort of his touch, always able to chase away her worries. maybe, just maybe, her mom was right. maybe he was struggling just as much as she was. maybe, despite everything, he still loved her. maybe that love hadn’t gone away, even if it felt lost.

the thought stirred something inside her, a small, hesitant hope. the weight of their distance was still there, but for the first time in a while, y/n felt an urge to reach out, to close that space between them, if only for a moment.

a few weeks had passed since their emotional confrontation in the backyard. the days had been a blur of adjusting to her new reality, both physically and emotionally. y/n had begun to show the faintest signs of pregnancy, a small but unmistakable curve starting to form. each morning, she would stare at her reflection, running a hand over her belly, a mixture of awe and anxiety washing over her.

it was early afternoon when y/n picked up her phone, her fingers trembling slightly as she dialed trent’s number. It had been a while since she’d reached out first, and she was unsure how to navigate this new step. trent answered on the second ring, his voice a comforting blend of surprise and relief.

“hey, bab- y/n,” trent corrected, trying to keep his tone steady. “i wasn’t expecting your call.”

“i know,” y/n replied, her voice soft and cautious. “i just wanted to hear your voice. i figured it was time to talk.”

trent’s heart skipped a beat. “i am glad you did. i told i'd wait for you. how are you? how’s everything going?”

there was a brief pause on the line, and y/n’s voice wavered slightly. “i’m… okay. the baby’s growing. i’ve been taking it one day at a time.”

“that’s good to hear,” trent said, his concern evident. “i’ve been thinking about you and the baby a lot. i want to be involved, you know, if you’ll let me.”

“please, y/n,” trent pleaded, his voice filled with desperation. “come home. let me take care of you and the baby. i’ll do everything in my power to make things right. i just want to be there for you.”

“i know,” y/n replied quietly. “i’ve been thinking about that too. i’m still not ready to come back home yet. there’s a lot I need to work through, but maybe… maybe you could come to one of my appointments when you’re in london for the fulham match?”

trent’s response was immediate, his relief palpable. “i’d love to. just tell me when and where, and i’ll be there. i want to be there for you and the baby.”

y/n hesitated, her heart racing with the implications of their upcoming meeting. “it’s next week. i’ll send you the details once it’s confirmed.”

“thank you,” trent said, his voice filled with genuine gratitude. “it means a lot to me that you’re giving me this chance. i just want to be there for both of you.”

“i appreciate that,” y/n replied, her voice wavering with emotion. “i’m still figuring things out, but having you there… it might help.”

“i understand,” trent said softly. “i’ll be there, y/n. and if you need anything before then, just let me know. i’m here for you.”

they exchanged a few more words before ending the call, the conversation a tentative step towards mending their fractured relationship. as y/n hung up the phone, she felt a mixture of apprehension and hope. the prospect of seeing trent at her appointment was both comforting and daunting, a symbol of the possibility of healing.

in the days leading up to the appointment, y/n continued with her routine, her emotions a complex blend of anticipation and fear. She prepared herself mentally for the upcoming visit, knowing that seeing trent again would be a significant step.

trent arrived at the clinic much earlier than expected, a mix of anticipation and nervousness driving him. he paced the waiting area, glancing at his watch every few minutes, his mind racing with thoughts of y/n and their baby. he was determined not to miss the appointment, and he couldn’t help but marvel at how beautiful y/n looked, even in the midst of their struggles.

as he stood by the entrance, he saw y/n walking in, her face a mixture of apprehension and hope. she spotted him and raised an eyebrow. “you’re here early. don’t you have training before the match tomorrow?”

trent smiled, his eyes softening as he took in her presence. “i left early. nothing is more important to me than being here for you and our baby.”

y/n’s lips curved into a small, grateful smile, and she walked over to him. “thanks you for coming. it means a lot.”

trent nodded, his gaze fixed on her as they walked together towards the examination room. “i wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

inside the examination room, the doctor greeted them warmly, her smile reassuring. “hello, y/n. and you must be trent. it’s lovely to meet you. i’m glad you could join us today.”

“nice to meet you,” trent replied, shaking the doctor’s hand. “i’m glad to be here.”

the doctor turned to y/n, her demeanor professional yet friendly. “so, y/n, how have you been feeling? any concerns or symptoms you’d like to discuss before we get started?”

y/n took a deep breath, her eyes flickering to trent’s face. “i’ve been struggling with nausea every morning. it’s relentless and makes it hard to get through the day. i can’t keep much down—anything that’s remotely greasy or rich just comes right back up. sometimes, even the smell of certain foods makes me sick. and it’s not just the mornings. i’ve been feeling dizzy and lightheaded at random times, and my energy levels are really low. i’ve been so exhausted, barely able to get out of bed some days.”

her voice trembled slightly as she continued. “i’ve also been experiencing mood swings that seem to come out of nowhere. one moment i’m fine, and the next, i’m crying over something trivial. it’s exhausting. i’ve been trying to manage, but it’s hard.”

trent’s heart ached as he listened. each word she spoke painted a clearer picture of the struggles she faced, struggles he hadn’t fully understood until now. he squeezed her hand gently, his eyes filled with concern. “i had no idea it was this tough for you,” he said softly. “i’m so sorry for not being there for you. i should have been more aware of what you’re going through.”

the doctor nodded, her expression sympathetic. “these symptoms are quite common in the first trimester, but that doesn’t make them any easier. it’s important to take care of yourself and manage these symptoms as best as you can.”

as y/n prepared for the ultrasound, trent’s heart pounded with a mix of excitement and anxiety. he watched as she lay down on the examination table, her face a portrait of vulnerability and hope. trent took a seat beside her, holding her hand tightly.

the room grew quiet as the doctor began the ultrasound. trent’s eyes were fixed on the screen, his breath catching in his throat as the image of their baby appeared. he could see the tiny, fluttering heartbeat, and the realization hit him with overwhelming force.

trent’s eyes filled with tears as he watched the screen, his hand squeezing y/n’s reassuringly. “this is… incredible,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

as the doctor played the heartbeat sound, trent felt his heart swell. the rhythmic thud of the baby’s heartbeat filled the room, a powerful reminder of the life growing inside y/n. trent leaned over and gently kissed y/n’s hand, his lips brushing against her skin with tenderness.

“thank you,” he said softly, his voice breaking as he kissed her forehead and cheeks. “thank you for this, for our baby. i’m so grateful.”

y/n’s eyes filled with tears, her heart aching at the sight of trent’s raw emotion. “i’m glad you’re here,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

trent’s internal thoughts were a whirlwind of realization and regret. he thought about the pain he had caused y/n, the mistakes he had made. but as he looked at their baby, he felt a glimmer of hope. this tiny life represented a chance for redemption, a new beginning for their fractured relationship.

he thought to himself, i’ve been so consumed by my own fears and doubts. but this baby… this baby has the power to heal us, to breathe life back into our world. i can’t undo the past, but i can start anew. i need to be the father this child deserves, the husband y/n needs. i’ll do whatever it takes to make things right.

as the ultrasound concluded and the doctor began discussing the next steps, trent’s heart was lighter than it had been in weeks. he felt a renewed sense of purpose, a determination to be there for y/n and their child, no matter the challenges ahead.

trent sat in the passenger seat, the ultrasound photos clutched tightly in his hand, his eyes glued to the images as if they held the answers to all the questions swirling in his mind. the car ride had been quiet, the tension between them palpable yet softened by the shared experience they had just gone through. y/n kept her eyes on the road, but she could feel his gaze shift from the photos to her every now and then, as if trying to reconcile the reality of what they had just witnessed with everything that had happened between them.

when they finally pulled into the driveway of her parents' house, neither of them made a move to get out. the engine hummed quietly, filling the heavy silence between them. trent swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion. he couldn’t take his eyes off the ultrasound photos, the grainy black-and-white images of their baby—their baby—so small, yet so real. he was still in shock, the weight of the moment pressing down on him with a force he hadn’t anticipated.

“it’s real,” trent finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “that’s... that’s our baby.”

y/n glanced at him, her heart clenching at the look of wonder and disbelief on his face. “yeah,” she replied softly, her voice tinged with a mixture of emotions she wasn’t sure she was ready to face. “it’s real.”

trent turned to her, his eyes searching her face for something he wasn’t sure he’d find. “y/n, i don’t want to argue anymore,” he said, his voice thick with sincerity. “i don’t want us to keep hurting each other like this. i want to be there for you, for our baby. i want to fight for us, not against us.”

her heart fluttered at his words, but the hurt still lingered, like a shadow that refused to be dispelled by the light. “it’s not that simple, trent,” y/n said, her voice steady but laced with the pain she had carried for weeks. “you can’t just say you’re ready to fight for us now and expect everything to be okay. you hurt me. you pushed me away when i needed you the most.”

trent’s face crumpled, the weight of her words hitting him like a blow. he reached out, hesitating for a moment before placing his hand gently on top of hers. “i know i messed up,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “i was scared, y/n. i didn’t know how to handle any of this, and i panicked. but that doesn’t mean i don’t love you. it doesn’t mean i don’t want this—want you, want our baby.”

y/n felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them away, refusing to let herself fall into the same pattern they had been stuck in for so long. “love isn’t just about words, trent. it’s about showing up, even when it’s hard, even when you’re scared. it’s about trusting each other, being honest, and not shutting down when things get tough.”

trent squeezed her hand, his grip firm yet gentle. “i know,” he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. “i know i have to do better. i want to do better. i want to be the man you deserve, the father our child deserves. i don’t want to lose you, y/n. please, just... give me a chance to make things right.”

y/n looked at him, her heart torn between the love she still felt for him and the pain that had taken root in its place. she wanted to believe him, wanted to trust that he could be the partner she needed, but the fear of getting hurt again held her back. “i’m scared too, trent,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “i’m scared that things won’t change, that we’ll just keep going around in circles until there’s nothing left. i need to know that you’re really committed to this, to us.”

trent’s eyes bore into hers, his determination clear despite the vulnerability etched into his features. “i am, y/n. i’m committed to you, to our baby, to our future. i don’t have all the answers, and i know it won’t be easy, but i’m not going to give up. not on you, not on us.”

the silence that followed was thick with unspoken words, with the weight of their past and the uncertainty of their future. y/n could feel the intensity of his gaze, could see the sincerity in his eyes, but the doubts still lingered, a barrier she wasn’t sure she was ready to break down.

“we have a lot to figure out,” y/n finally said, her voice soft but resolute. “this isn’t something that’s going to be fixed overnight. we need to take it one step at a time, trent. we need to rebuild the trust that we lost.”

trent nodded, his expression earnest. “i’m ready to do whatever it takes,” he said quietly. “i know it’s going to take time, but i’m here for the long haul. i want to be the partner you need, y/n. i want to be there for you, every step of the way.”

y/n looked down at their intertwined hands, the connection between them a reminder of what they had shared, what they had lost, and what they might still have a chance to rebuild. she wasn’t ready to fully forgive, to fully trust, but there was a part of her—a small, fragile part—that wanted to believe in the possibility of a future where they could find their way back to each other.

“okay,” she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. “we’ll take it one step at a time.”

trent’s shoulders sagged with relief, and he squeezed her hand once more, the gesture filled with unspoken promises. “thank you,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “thank you for giving us a chance.”

as they sat there in the quiet of the car, the weight of their conversation hanging between them, y/n felt a small flicker of hope begin to take root. it wasn’t much, and it wasn’t enough to erase the pain of the past, but it was something—a starting point, a tentative step toward healing.

and for now, that was enough.

the drive back to y/n’s parents’ house was heavy with unspoken words, both of them lost in the aftermath of the ultrasound. the image of their baby lingered in the back of their minds—so real, so undeniably present—and it had stirred something neither of them could yet put into words. there was a fragile connection between them now, one built on shared responsibility, but also the unresolved weight of the past.

when they arrived at the quiet house, y/n hesitated before opening the door, her steps slower than usual. everything inside felt still, untouched, a sharp contrast to the storm that had been swirling around them for weeks. she led trent inside, the silence between them heavy but not uncomfortable—just… fragile.

in the living room, she stopped, turning to face him, her expression soft but unreadable. she folded her arms across her chest, almost as if to shield herself from what was coming next. “i don’t know where we go from here,” she whispered, voice barely above a murmur.

trent stood just a few feet away, hands deep in his pockets, unsure of how to bridge the gap between them. he wanted to say something, anything, to make her believe in him again, but every time he opened his mouth, the words caught in his throat.

he could see the hesitation in her eyes, the lingering hurt. “i don’t either,” he admitted, his voice quiet, but certain. “but i know i don’t want to go back to where we were. i don’t want to lose you, y/n. i love you too much”

her gaze softened for a moment, the pain in her expression easing just enough for him to catch a glimpse of the woman he used to hold close, the woman he loved more than anything. “i’m just… scared,” she confessed, her voice trembling. “scared that it’s too late, that we’re too far gone.”

trent took a tentative step closer, his hand aching to reach out to her, but he held back, letting her set the pace. “i’m scared too,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. “but i’d rather be scared and try to make things right than walk away and wonder if we ever could’ve fixed this.”

for a long moment, they stood there in silence, the weight of his words hanging between them. then, slowly, y/n closed the distance, taking a shaky step forward, her eyes flicking up to meet his. “i don’t know if i can just… jump back into this,” she said, her voice fragile but honest. “but i want to try.”

trent’s heart swelled at her words. it wasn’t a promise of everything being okay, but it was a start. it was something. without thinking, he reached out, gently taking her hand in his, his thumb tracing soft circles over her knuckles. “we’ll go slow,” he whispered. “we’ll figure it out. together.”

y/n exhaled shakily, and for the first time in weeks, she let herself lean into him, her body easing into the warmth of his chest. he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, not in desperation but in quiet reassurance. “you in my arms…” he murmured against her hair, his voice soft, vulnerable, “it’s the only thing that feels right anymore. like for the first time in forever, i can breathe again.”

she closed her eyes, letting the comfort of his embrace settle deep in her bones. it wasn’t everything, and it didn’t fix the hurt, but it was something she hadn’t let herself feel in so long—safety. a small reprieve from the storm.

they stood like that for a long moment, holding onto each other as if the world outside had disappeared. it wasn’t perfect, but it was enough. enough to remind them that maybe, just maybe, there was still something worth fighting for.

when y/n finally pulled back, it wasn’t in retreat, but in acknowledgment of the space they still needed to navigate. she looked up at him, her eyes wet but clearer than before. “we’ve still got a long way to go,” she said quietly.

trent nodded, his hands lingering on her arms, reluctant to let her go entirely. “i know,” he agreed, his voice steady but gentle. “but we’ll get there.”

she wiped at her eyes and offered him a small, weary smile. “we don’t have to have it all figured out yet.”

he smiled back, soft and genuine, his chest feeling lighter than it had in weeks. it wasn’t a resolution, but it was a start—a beginning that neither of them thought they would find again.

as they stood there, the silence between them was no longer heavy with unsaid words, but filled with the quiet understanding that despite the uncertainty, there was still hope. and for now, that was enough.

the air was crisp as y/n and her mum walked through the quiet streets of their london neighborhood. the late afternoon sun cast a warm glow on the pavement, and the leaves rustled gently in the breeze. despite the peaceful surroundings, y/n felt a familiar heaviness in her chest—a weight she couldn’t seem to shake, no matter how hard she tried.

her mum glanced over at her, sensing the unease that had settled around her daughter like a cloud. “it’s nice having you around,” she began, her tone light. “especially with malik and your father always bickering about football. but… have you thought about when you might go back to home?”

y/n’s steps faltered slightly, and she looked down at the ground. “i don’t know,” she replied, her voice soft, almost unsure. “trent and i… we’ve been talking, but it’s not the same. i feel the ghost of the distance between us.”

her mum nodded, understanding the depth of y/n’s feelings. “i can see that,” she said gently. “but, sweetheart, he’s the father of your child. and more than that, he’s your trent. you two have been through so much together. don’t you think your relationship deserves the chance to get back on track?”

y/n’s heart clenched at her mum’s words. she knew the truth in them, knew that the bond she shared with trent was something rare and precious. but the pain of their past arguments still lingered, like a wound that hadn’t quite healed. “i just… i’m still so hurt,” she admitted, her voice trembling slightly. “he’s trying, i can see that. he calls, he checks in, but…”

“but you’re still scared,” her mum finished for her, her voice soft with understanding.

y/n nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. “i can’t forget what he said, how he made me feel. it’s like… like there’s this wall between us, and i don’t know how to break it down.”

her mum stopped walking and turned to face y/n, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “i understand your reservations, y/n. but trent is trying. that’s all you can hope for in a partner—someone who’s willing to put in the effort, who wants to be there for you, especially now, with the baby on the way.”

y/n wiped at her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. “he keeps asking you when i might come back, doesn’t he?”

her mum nodded, her expression softening with sympathy. “he does. he’s worried about you, about the baby. he always asks how you’re doing, if there’s anything he can do from here. but, y/n, there’s only so much he can do while you’re in london. the distance… it’s killing him too.”

y/n felt a lump form in her throat, the weight of her mother’s words pressing down on her. she knew trent was trying, knew that he wanted to be there for her, for their child. but the hurt, the fear of being vulnerable again, of risking her heart… it was still there, holding her back.

“i just don’t know if i’m ready,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

her mum gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “you don’t have to make any decisions right now, sweetheart. but just… think about it. think about what you want, what’s best for you and the baby. and remember, trent is there, waiting for you to let him in. he wants yiu and the baby, the both of you.”

they continued their walk in silence, the unspoken words hanging between them like a delicate thread. y/n knew her mum was right—trent was trying, and she could see the effort he was putting in to mend the rift between them. but the path to healing wasn’t a straight one, and y/n wasn’t sure if she was ready to take that first step.

as they turned the corner towards home, y/n glanced up at the sky, the fading light casting a soft glow over the rooftops. she knew she had decisions to make, choices that would shape not only her future but the future of her child. though the pain lingered, a part of her yearned to mend the fractures in her relationship with trent, to find a path forward that honored their love and their new family. “maybe,” y/n whispered to herself. maybe it was time to find a way to move forward, for their love and their family

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