#travelled for hours just for 7 minutes and it ended up being worth it

[roberts-island]

Also here is a very bad video of the transcendental experience of totality during the solar eclipse yesterday in Kingston, ON. I really wish my phone camera was better

[lilac-5ky]

Roommates from Hell, pt.7 (Toji x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 7: Stockholm Syndrome

Chapter 6 | Chapter 8 | Story Masterlist | Masterlist | Requests | AO3

A/N: Sorry for disappearing, y'all! Hope this lengthy chapter compensates for my absence.

You were early.

You knew that, not because you’d been checking the time every two stops—doubting your being on the correct railway line even as the voice in the speakers called out Inokashira Park—but because it was still bright when you got off the train platform.

Normally, you were good with those things—time. Having juggled both school and multiple shifts across Tokyo at some point in your life meant you knew exactly how long it took to get from one district to the other, and under no circumstances did Shibuya to Kichijoji amount to three hours worth of travel time. You could’ve left home half an hour earlier and made it in time, but all sense of normality died the moment you agreed to go out with Toji.

It was 3:37 p.m., and you were indeed early. Two hours and twenty-three minutes early.

You’d gone out with him hundreds of times. As friends, as family—as people who dealt their meals and loneliness evenly, yet never as anything beyond that. You didn’t know what a date entailed—or rather, you pretended not to, because the possibilities made your head spin.

This was just an ordinary hangout, and that was why you’d opted for the unimpressive combination of your overworn jeans and cardigan, in spite of casting every article of clothing out of your closet and onto the floor.

The yellow ribbon in your hair—that was hope.

You were meeting at the park’s east entrance, which coincided with the railway’s west exit. The only thing you’d agreed upon was the time and place. Everything else was entirely up to him.

The tracks ended where the grass blades began, out-of-bloom hydrangeas paving the path toward Inokashira Park’s infamous pond. In the winter, the park looked like a shadow of its former self. Desolate and bleak, as opposed to the final spring you visited with your father.

The fragrance of the freshly bloomed cherry blossoms he’d help you reach atop his shoulders lingered ever so vividly in the air, along with the essence of humidity that clung to your skin after every ride on those enormous swan boats. But with the trees stripped bare and the waters stilled by the cold, your memories had also lost their vibrancy.

You felt no joy reminiscing about the past. It was more like an old wound you scratched open to test the pain, except the blood was all dried up. You’d mourned your father before he’d even passed and before your sister finalized the news a week ago. This was just killing time.

You had two hours to waste and were already considering phoning Toji to reschedule. He didn’t have much to do during the day. If he wasn’t at the diner, then he typically loitered around one gambling den or another. Unless he was caught up in one of those shady businesses that earned him entire briefcases full of cash. To think the day would come when you’d be dating a hitman—

—only you weren’t dating. Because this wasn’t a date.

Your plans were put on hold as an elderly woman shoved about a dozen shopping bags inside the public phone booth you’d been eyeing, and you decided not to wait around for it to be freed.

Two hours isn’t all that horrible.

A class of children returning from a field trip to the park’s aquarium passed you by, some of the kids clutching onto different types of marine life plush toys. You walked away from the procession. You weren’t keen on showing jealousy over the little girl with the cute turtle-shaped backpack, and thus you detoured to a quieter path away from all the jeers and cheers. You checked the time again. One hour and fifty-five minutes left. God.

The park’s visitors dwindled the further you strayed from the main attractions, until it was just you and a man who had his back turned all the while he stared off into the unknown. A man whose broad shoulders and discreet slouch seemed more familiar the longer you studied him, and when his jade eyes fell on yours, you reached an epiphany. This was a date.

“You’re early.” You gasped softly, your lips expelling a white cloud of heat.

His gaze hardened below his arched eyebrows—a mix of unfeigned surprise and borderline annoyance as he processed you from head to toe.

You regretted not going the extra mile. Toji wasn’t dressed to the nines either, but his choppy strands were somewhat combed, and the forest green of his sweater brought out his eyes. Even his usual sweatpants were replaced by a fitting pair of black jeans, and at that point, your palms began to sweat because Toji was an objectively good-looking man, and when he took care of himself, he was a real head-turner, while you were just… you.

“You’re the one who’s late.” He shifted the blame without second thought, tempting you to dig your beeper out of your pocket to prove your innocence, but you spared him the embarrassment. After all, he made no comments about your blushing cheeks or shuffling feet either.

One minute and countless beats of awkward silence later, Toji tugged himself from the wooden spikes that ringed the pond’s perimeter and moved closer, his attention instantly drawn to your ribbon’s loose ends.

“Your hair—”

“Looks weird?” You cut him off.

He shook off his scowl, the rough pads of his fingers making light contact with your skin as he flipped the string over your shoulder. “Nah. Just…” and it was no exaggeration to say you were hanging on his lips up until he grabbed you by the hand and dragged you forward—his calling you cute an uncertain figment of your imagination.

Trapped in a never-ending daze of billboard signs and city lights that faded past the passenger’s window, you miserably failed to make out your whereabouts. It’d been a while since you left Tokyo behind, and your last clue was your entering National Route 127 about an hour ago. You were well into Chiba prefecture—home to Japan’s biggest fishing industry, Disney-themed parks, and, of course, peanuts.

As for where in Chiba exactly, your best bet was connecting the passing exit signs in the hope of them helping paint the bigger picture. Kisarazu to Kimitsu. Kimitsu to Futtsu. Futtsu to Kyonan.

Since that final sign that read “15 kilometers to Minamiboso,” you’d gone off the map, and the closer you came to approaching the sparsely planted minka houses on the mountain side of the highway, the further your destination seemed. You didn’t expect this to be a kidnap in the literal sense, but while Toji hadn’t taken your ability to speak or look away, he still refused to let you in on his plans.

He drove quietly, his vision tunneling to the open road while his hand occasionally ironed out the knots of muscle around his neck. His mouth opened solely for his yawns, whose sheer number and frequency would’ve been concerning if Toji wasn’t the one behind the wheel. You trusted he wouldn’t kill you both off. He wasn’t the double-suicide type.

After your seventh unsuccessful attempt at prying out information, you brought out the big guns.

“What’s this?” Toji glanced at the 1000-yen bill you discreetly placed on his lap, his lips twitching into a slight smile. “Little low for ransom, don’tcha think?”

You rolled your eyes. “Just tell me where we’re going and why it couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”

“Hmm.” He pocketed the bill. “Wouldn’t be a kidnap if I told ya, would it?”

You leaned against the window, bandages soaking up moisture from where you mindlessly drew figures in the fog. You’d think he’d be less frustrating to deal with now that he’d gotten what he wanted, but he’d instead turned shrewder. He didn’t even let you contact your sister or drop off Kenzo’s waffle cones. The two were left alone at your empty apartment, probably thinking you’d migrated to the North Pole for ice, when in reality you were off playing budget Thelma and Louise.

Maybe he really was trying to kill you—speed toward the next cliff and throw you both into the depths of Tokyo Bay, where you’d spent a comfortable eternity sleeping side by side with the fish.

You were spelling the words Save Me when Toji spoke again, this time on his own accord.

“Someplace we can continue where we left off.” You could hear the smirk rolling off his tongue.

Someplace we can continue where we left off, you mentally repeated. Someplace we can continue where we left off. Someplace we can—oh.

You quickly smudged your cry for help with your shoulder and fell back on your seat, cheeks as red as beets. If he wanted to take things to a love hotel, he should’ve just said so. It wouldn’t have taken much to persuade you to hit one in Roppongi. No need to waste all this gas and worry everyone sick.

Come to think of it, the phone hadn’t rung once since the beginning of your little country escapade—not from a call, and not from a text either. You were positive he hadn’t turned your phone off when he confiscated it, and his was still on him.

That crafty witch. Her lack of concern just about confirmed your suspicions. Your sister wasn’t searching for you because everything was moving according to plan.

“Can I at least make a call?” You batted your eyelashes and smiled at him with your eyes, watching his wariness dissolve instantaneously as his glance shifted to a stare. Men.

“A call, huh?” Relying on his inhumane reflexes, Toji lowered a hand from the wheel to your knee, rubbing his way higher up your thigh.

The part of you that wasn’t used to letting him touch you so freely almost flinched, but ignoring it was starting to become easier. You enjoyed the way his palm cupped your flesh. You liked how supple your skin seemed between his fingers, and you loved how firm his grasp felt—bold and reassuring. It took your mind off your question and his attention off the road as a honk from a passing truck forced you to recoil away from each other.

The unprompted filth that poured between the two rolled-down windows colored both your ears. He was the one in the wrong here. It was his fault that the car zigzagged into the fast lane, and while he wasn’t going to let it spiral out of control, the other driver didn’t necessarily know that.

Once he was done spitting nails, he turned back to you, impatience burning in his eyes to the point where you wouldn’t be surprised if he cut your destination short and pulled over to the nearest rest area for a breather.

“Can’t focus when ya gimme that look.” Toji huffed.

“What look?”

“Like you’re begging me to fuck you on the highway.” He answered with the same ease with which one would talk about the weather.

“Toji!” A red deeper than the one on your ears spread to your face.

He licked his lips together and tipped closer to your seat, audaciously asking, “What?”

You didn’t have a reason good enough to push him away anymore—at least not one that related to how you felt about him. Hiding behind your finger was useless when all your cards were laid out on the table. He counted on you staying still for his lips to brush over yours—a mere tingle of electricity before you remembered you were in a moving vehicle and swatted his face away.

“Eyes on the road.” You whipped out a smile, lest he misunderstand, but it was too late. Toji was already looking at you as if you’d committed an unimaginable sin; a frown riveted to his face even as his focus resumed on the highway.

“Just lost your phone rights.”

“Seriously? Cause I’m watching out for our safety?”

“You heard me.” He grumbled. “Now shut it.”

“Well, forgive me for not being up for a second near-death experience less than 24 hours after the first one.” You said as you fixed your shirt over your knees and coiled closer to the window.

His knuckles grew white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly, a deep exhale flaring his nostrils. Be it out of guilt or regret, he didn’t talk back, but you weren’t willing to call a truce just yet.

“You know, none of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t run off on your own last night. Or if you’d asked me whether I wanted to be stuck in a vehicle with your grumpy ass for hours. Putting up with you at home is enough as it is.”

The blinker flashed as he turned left to the next exit, whose name you didn’t catch until a second sign at the intersection welcomed you to Tomiyama. You weren’t even sure if that was your actual destination or if he pulled off the highway on a whim, and you knew next to nothing about the area other than hearing it mentioned in some politician’s speech about recreation.

The car slowed down behind a navy blue sedan, with Toji drumming his fingers against the wheel while waiting for the lights to turn green. You took the chance to look outside, unable to figure out a damn thing in the dark. There were trees on both sides of the road, but you couldn’t tell what kind of trees. There were more cars parked by the sidewalk, but you couldn’t determine their color, let alone their brand. There was a large body of water up ahead, but you could only make out the faint sway of the riptide under the moonlight, a light breeze teasing the pungent scent of the sea.

“Didn’t seem you were putting up with me last night.” Toji interrupted. “Or when ya sucked my face in the middle of the street.”

“Hey!”

“Not that I hated either.”

He didn’t sound half as mad as he seemed, and for a brief moment, you wondered what you’d started this for. You always gnawed at each other like beasts trapped in a cage, each getting a kick out of pushing the other’s buttons into madness, yet you rarely fought for a reason. It was more so out of habit than spite, because that’s what you did best, and it almost felt intimate—affectionate in a way others could never comprehend.

“Go on.” Toji prompted, definitely amused. “That can’t be all. What else ya got?”

“You ate my ice cream!” You almost laughed at your own absurd statement, biting down the chuckle Toji didn’t bother withholding. “You ate it in front of my face and didn’t offer me a single bite!”

“Poor baby can’t use her hands?” He cooed, curling a finger near your cheek.

You dramatically waved your reasons for being incapacitated. “Can’t even use them. Plus, they itch like hell.”

“Pft, don’t pin that on me.” He scorned. “Curse barely touched you, and you spent the whole night cryin’ like a baby.”

An exasperated sigh puffed in your lungs. “I can’t believe you drew a mustache on my face. You knew I was awake, didn’t you?”

“Did I?” He asked with a knowing smile. “So what? Think I’d pussy outta kissing that cute little face just ‘cause of two extra lines?

“Still got ‘em, by the way.”

You manically scrubbed your lips with the back of your bandaged fist before coming to terms with the spotless reflection in his rearview mirror.

“There’s a special place in hell for people like you.”

The car was again put into motion as Toji switched gears and accelerated—much to your delight—toward the seashore, with no intention of stopping even as the village houses got replaced by palm trees dug in the sand; your final accusation being, “What kind of psychopath drives without music?”

“This is just noise.”

His snide remark had you dropping the stack of cassette tapes back at the discount stand and rushing to his aid.

The store-provided headphones appeared comically small compressing his skull, with the metallic wire bent into a taut arc that promised to snap any minute now. Their wearer seemed displeased, which, honestly, he always did, but this time you could hardly blame him. He was out of his element, and if it weren’t for that sliver of curiosity ushering him into the record store by the station, then he wouldn’t be standing there like an absolute idiot, polluting his ears with… pirate metal?

You managed to withstand about ten seconds of incoherent German slurs and Arrrgh’s before you hastily ejected the tape and shoved it back in its case. An entire music library at your disposal, and he’d possibly come across the single questionable track. Even a sniffer dog would envy his ability to nose anomalies out.

“Must be ‘cause you aren’t used to it.” You glanced around the shelves for a gap. “For all we know, this could be a masterpiece.”

“Yeah, right.” Toji kicked at the rolling step stool. Your heel caught it before it had the chance to crash into the vinyl stand, which led to him scoffing. Again.

He was the one who insisted on this date yet acted the exact opposite of his intentions. All that gloating about his past conquests was plain rubbish. He’d planned nothing for your date—your first date—and was disagreeable toward your every suggestion. The new crepe stall was too flashy for his tastes. The regular sukiyaki place was suddenly too expensive. The attractions at the park were tourist traps. You’d purposely led him down the thrift shop packed-alleyway just so he wouldn’t have a reason to complain, but he exceeded your expectations.

If he was having such a bad time, then why bother asking you out in the first place?

You returned to your corner, rummaging through the rows for something even Toji could potentially appreciate, when it hit you: you had no idea what kind of music he liked. Two years of acquaintance, and you’d never discussed preferences.

“Hey, Mr. Nitpicker.” Your nails clicked against the plastic to draw his attention. “What’s your favorite song?”

He gawked at you as if he’d been presented with a complex quantum physics equation, furrowing his eyebrows and tilting his head from one side to the other like a metronome.

“It’s… that one.” You expected him to point at either a cassette or a vinyl, but his hands remained sheathed in his pockets.

“What one?”

“The one that goes like…” You again expected him to hum to the rhythm of the supposed song, but he didn’t. “Ya know, that one.”

Your eyes darted between the tapes in your grasp and the insistence in his expression. He didn’t sound convincing in the slightest. It was when he lied that he acted most certain.

The only argument working in his favor was the inconceivable notion that a person in the growing age of media and technology could do without a song blasting from their car speakers or one they recorded with all the ambient sounds of a cafe tainting the chorus—because you didn’t know how music was treated in the Zen’in household; how whatever didn’t feature a koto or a shamisen was outright rejected; how it was considered a women’s sport—an activity slightly more refined than idle gossip in the shadows of the shoji doors.

“That’s not very helpful.” You sighed.

“Whatever.” He frowned, reclining against the one wall that was equipped with neither shelves nor framed records.

The conversation was over, and you resumed your hunt for affordable hidden gems in the 80s section. They used the word vintage for songs you’d grown up with, which everyone knew was a code word for old. Your twentieth birthday was months away, and you were already deemed old—correction: vintage. In no time, you’d join the club of people who called those below their age kids and constantly reminisced about the golden days of their youth.

“What’s yours?” Toji caught you off guard with how he’d both peeled off the wall and hunched over you without you taking notice.

You hadn’t even opened your mouth, yet you already felt yourself stuttering. He was intimidating—not in a piss your pants kind of way, but in a way that tinkered with the distribution of fluids in your body. You didn’t want to answer his question. You’d rather he bent a little lower and kissed you, because sharing your second kiss at a record store sounded exhilarating.

But sharing that tidbit of information wasn’t.

Flustered, you flipped through the cassettes sorted by the letter ‘A’ to find Anri’s Timely!! mixed between the ‘C’s. You were supposed to ask for permission before trying out the non-samples, but the store clerk clearly didn’t mind, or else he would have stopped you four tapes ago.

You searched for the appropriate track and pressed play once the headphones were back on Toji’s head. He kept a serious face all the while Anri begged for her loneliness to stop, the upbeat instrumental contrasting—without concealing—the sobriety of the lyrics. You heard every word loud and clear, mentally repeating them down to the third chorus, where you got lost in the sentiment.

Love is like a small storm. Both friends and lovers get swept up by it.

The song went on about the end of a relationship, while yours hadn’t even begun. You were one step ahead of being friends, yet a lot more steps behind being lovers. You didn’t want to jinx the outcome of your date but couldn’t stop musing over the pain of a breakup. You’d only experienced loneliness in the form of missing—never in the form of losing. If you let yourself be swept up by this emotion, would you wind up hurting more than you did before he stepped into your life?

The music came to an end of its own, and Toji pulled the headphones from his ears, declaring with a victorious grin that this was his favorite song.

“You can’t be serious.” You snatched the Walkman from his hands. “That’s my favorite song!”

“And?” He tapped his foot against the tiled floor. “What’s yours can’t be mine?”

“We aren’t married.” You wished you could press rewind and write over your own words, replacing them with something far less embarrassing.

“Like I’d ever marry someone this bossy.”

You groaned as you traded the tape for one by Takeuchi Mariya. “Fine. When the time comes, you’re free to marry someone without any backbone, but now, we are finding you a song.”

He groaned back while you repeated the same process of skipping to a specific song, gauging his reaction, and then moving forward while he pig-headedly stood by his first choice. You tried more artists—Matsubara Miki, Akimoto Kaoru, Sugiyama Kiyotaka. You thought Hamada Kingo’s midnight cruisin’ would be it, but it wasn’t. The single thread your patience dangled from finally snapped, resulting in your rising to your toes and forcibly holding the headphones down against his head.

“You aren’t allowed to not like this one!”

You formed the words slow enough for him to read your lips over the climax of first chorus, the song feeling nothing sort but an unconventional confession with how you viciously stared into each others eyes.

Every time I wish, to monopolize your love/Every time I wish, that would you be mine/I want all of you.

There was a change in his expression, a flicker or a speck of something that convinced you to step back before the song reached its conclusion. You called a draw in your staredown, both turning to a different direction, and you weren’t sure if Toji was remotely capable of feeling shame, but his cheeks were tinted a subtle pink when your eyes next met.

“Okay.” He conceded. “Keep your stupid song. I like this one better.”

You walked around the shops hand in hand. It was for precaution, so you wouldn’t get caught between the hordes of starving office workers invading the local Konbini in search of nutrients—his words, not yours. Toji didn’t know lunch breaks were a common breadwinner’s luxury, considering most of these people overworked themselves until it was time to go, but you didn’t mention either. His hand felt too warm to let go, and whenever he spoke, heat radiated from his lips.

You wished he’d kiss you.

He’d missed his chance at the record store, but plenty of other opportunities had since turned up: the giant Christmas tree that sprouted in front of Kitaguchi station; at the back row of some B-rated horror movie screening; behind the arcades on Motomachi Street. Even right where you stood, he could trick you into thinking there was a rogue eyelash he meant to pinch from your cheek, only for his lips to land on yours instead.

It was a given that it would happen. It happened in every single Hollywood rom-com, without exception. You just didn’t know when or where.

The cassette tapes rattled like wind chimes in the paper bag you carelessly swung around. You didn’t intend to charge him with a bunch of impulse purchases, but he told you not to sweat it because you’d be buying lunch. It fascinated you how the richest and poorest people you knew met in Toji’s face. He could afford things beyond imagination, yet he never seemed able to afford the essentials. It was easy to write him off as cheap, but you didn’t want to be in love with someone cheap.

You wondered whether he’d ask you to be his girlfriend or if you already were.

You suffered through a much harsher rejection as you returned to the very same crepe stall that Toji previously dismissed with a simple “no,” this time demanding you treat him to an actual meal. You were more upset about not having crepes than you were about bleeding cash on him.

The sun retired prior to your food quest’s conclusion, parting from the sky in a murky shade of blue. It was getting too cold to be outside, and hiding your shivering came at a price. You clung to his arm as if he were a portable heater, but when he asked if you felt cold, you stupidly claimed to be fine. Really stupid.

Soon, the streets were emptied. Every sensible passerby holed up in the cozy izakayas that lined each side of the pavement. You were the last two sociopaths testing their courage at a UFO catcher outside a greasy Thai restaurant. The aroma of drunken noodles stirred something in your stomach that made you forget all about the crepes, and the Yoshi plushie Toji pledged himself to win on your behalf. You shouldn’t have told him he was your favorite. You’d be stuck here until the morning light.

“Didn’t you swear off gambling for the remainder of this year? Thought you were saving your luck for 1995.” You tried to dissuade him, eyes meeting through the hazy glass. He’d tasked you with inspecting the left side of the machine while he took stock of the prizes on the right. “How’s this?” You pointed at a Yoshi near the corner of the prize pit.

“That’s hardly gambling.” Toji slapped the glass with both his hands and forehead, reviewing your choice. “Nah, won’t do. ‘Tis too far from the center. Switch with me.”

You traded sides, with Toji focusing on the Yoshis while you focused on him. He seemed to know what he was doing, but he wasn’t fooling you. He’d lose, pin it on either the rigged machine or the maintenance guy, and then he’d have you drag the Thai manager out.

On second thought, maybe if he caused a big enough scene, you’d be compensated with a plate of warm food.

A smile of utter triumph emerged across his lips once he got his sights on a target. You still had your doubts, especially with how tightly the machine was packed, but refrained from voicing them. He wouldn’t listen anyway.

“Got any coins?”

You handed him your wallet, and his eyes almost widened as he shook it around like a maraca. “You work a side-gig at the mint or something? What’s with all these coins?”

“Many drops make an ocean.” You moved to the side for a better view. “Spend ‘em all, and you’ll be buying your own lunch.”

He pulled out a mere 100-yen coin and dropped your wallet on top of the machine. “Don’t need more.”

“Why do I feel like I’ve heard those words before?” Your sneer wasn’t enough to shatter his confidence.

“Ya say that cause you weren’t there in ‘87.”

“Why—what happened in ‘87? And where exactly is there?”

“Won three of these with a single draw.” Toji not-so-subtly bragged, at last taking hold of the joystick.

“Am I supposed to be impressed?” Anyone can win if they bribe a kid to loosen the thing for them.

“Better be if ya want me winning that damn turtle of yours.”

“Yoshi is a dinosaur…” Unsurprisingly, that earned you a glare.

You gestured a zipper over your mouth and gave him an encouraging thumbs-up as he slotted the coin in. The 15-second countdown began, with Toji maneuvering the claw over the plushie by the 10-second mark and Yoshi flying over the hole five seconds later. You watched with bated breath up until the claw unlatched from Yoshi’s nose and propelled him down the machine’s entrails, a series of metallic thuds promising Toji’s irrefutable success.

“You won?” Your gasp turned into a genuine shriek of excitement. “Holy shit, you actually won! Shit, I mean—wow, you’re good at this!”

He snorted, kneeling to retrieve the prize. “You sound surprised.”

“Well, I am.” You admitted. “Never seen you win before.”

“Don’t be. It’s annoying.” He pretended to bash your skull with the plushie, only to softly dab it at your wincing, hands raised in defense. Cute. “Have your big-head. He looks like you.”

A tight-lipped smile curved itself in place of his lips, the rest of his features also softening while he took in yours. Looking like a green dinosaur had its perks. You didn’t feel as cold anymore. All you felt was the tenderness with which he cupped your cheek like the most precious treasure—and he did treasure you. First with his eyes, and then with his fingers, though he treasured you the most when he was kissing you on your open mouth, your impatience dissolving into a wish come true.

“In my next life, I’ll buy myself a house here.”

Your toes sank deeper into the sand, struggling to remain hidden as the sea foam tickled away their concealment. Shards of the moon sparkled like stardust in the ocean, every ripple mirroring another star fallen from the night sky. If magic existed in this world, this was proof of it.

In the end, you were glad Toji brought you out there. Tokyo was smothered by water to the point where you feared it might swallow you whole, but things were different in the countryside. No skyscrapers blocked your view of the quaint horizon. No traffic sounds filtered the sound of the waves crashing to the shore. No exhaust fumes tainted the salty air that filled your lungs.

Even for a moment, you broke free from the shackles of everyday life and stepped into a picturesque world straight from a postcard. Your life could end then and there, and you’d jump to the next one without any regrets.

“What keeps you from doin’ that in this life?” Toji asked, seated a little further from where you stood. You didn’t understand why he’d chosen the beach when he wouldn’t dare dip his feet in the water, let alone feel the crunch of sand. His slippers would get dirty, one way or another.

“Money, for starters. Work, too. Life, maybe.” You mused.

“Bullshit. You can make money anywhere.” He retorted. “And anyone can do your job. Not like serving brick patties takes special skill.”

“Think I can do your job, then?”

“No fucking way.” You chuckled at his honesty. “You’d stab your leg right in front of your fucking target.”

“Right?” You glanced down at your fingers. He’d peeled off the bandages so you wouldn’t get them soggy, but you didn’t need them anymore. Your cuts would heal on their own as long as you didn’t get salt in them. “Then, you think we should only do what we are meant to do?”

“I think we should do whatever the fuck we want.”

“That’s easy to say…”

“Even easier to do. Now get your ass over here.”

You turned around, beaming with a smile he’d find irritating a minute later. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Then suit yourself.”

His apathy lasted until he sprung from his seat and scurried over to you, his arms seizing your waist before you could run away. Your back was pulled flush against his chest, with your ribs silently crying over the ridiculous strength of his biceps. You’d been subjected to more squeezing this weekend than your body could handle.

“That’s how ya do it.” Toji breathed in your hair, his chin comfortably propped on the crook of your shoulder. You were immobilized, but your heart still raced for escape, your cheeks shimmering a rosy pink.

“Actually, you wanted me to come to you, which means you just proved yourself wrong. Meanwhile, I wanted you to come here, which means I—ugh, put me down!”

Water splashed everywhere as Toji hoisted you high above the ground and carried you across the sand plains, your feet pedaling an invisible wheel until you were dropped off like a sack of potatoes. Non-organic at that. Organics received greater care and respect.

“Happy now?”

Choking on a miniature sandstorm, you fought to get your tangled hair off your mouth, inevitably tasting some of the very coarse grains you coughed out.

“How can I be happy when I’ll be shitting sand for days to come?”

“You’re just bein’ dramatic.” He brushed the hair from your face, giving your head a rough pat.

“And you’re being an asshole.” You sighed, recalling your words. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“Wouldn’t matter if ya did.” Toji hurled one of the few pebbles at the sea, watching it detonate in a firework of water. “Heard worse.”

“But I really didn’t. You used to be more of an asshole; now you’re just a little bit. A tiny bit, really.” You smiled softly, leaning your head against his shoulder. “I’m glad we are here. And whatever your reasons for moving in were, I’m glad you did. I love our life.”

A wry smile appeared on his lips. “Better remember that next time you nag me about the dishes.”

“Water alone doesn’t remove grease. You need soap to—” You paused at his groan. “It’s fine. So what if there’s melted cheese stuck at the bottom of the pan and I can taste last week’s dinner in my glass? You are trying your best!”

“I got a job.” He cut in.

An unpleasant taste had you grimacing into his elbow. It’d been a while since you’d last cleaned up after his mess in the hall, but the foul smell of metal was unforgettable. Blood—and although it seldom belonged to him, you weren’t any more comfortable with the idea that the day would come when somebody else would scrub Toji’s blood off their clothes.

“When are you leaving?” You asked in a quiet voice.

“Not that kinda job.” Toji thought a title made a story, not details. He reached for another pebble to throw, but his hand turned out empty. Then he continued. “A shitty 9-to-5 job like all others.”

“Doing what?”

“Office stuff—how the hell should I know? Ask Kong; he’s the one who arranged it.”

“Shiu?” He shrugged rather than nodded. “But why? I never asked you to.”

“You think I’d get a job simply ‘cause you asked?” Right. That’d make no sense. “Can only off so many sorcerer brats per month to make ends meet. Rest of the year I’m left hingin’ on capital control.”

“So it is about me.”

You were dragged down against his body as Toji laid you both on the sand, his one hand draping over your shoulder while you rested your cheek on his chest. His heartbeat resonated like the sound of the ocean in your ear. Soothing and slow. A sound only you had the fortune to enjoy.

“Is that where you went last night?”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, combing through your hair to distract you from the palm that shamelessly climbed down your butt. “Interview.”

You felt his fingers burrowing into your shorts, his touch innocent as far as groping was concerned. “Does this mean I’ll get to see you in a suit?”

“Like hell you are.”

“But you’re gonna have to start wearing one if you wanna make a good first impression. At least a button-up and a tie.”

“Like I care about impressions,” he said, adding a beat later that he didn’t even have one.

“When do you start? We can go shopping on Thursday, I have the day off; we could hit that store in—what are you doing?” You questioned his flipping his phone open and typing something on the screen.

“Quitting.”

“Don’t you dare!” You slapped the lid with such force that the phone bounced away from his hands and wedged into the sand.

Dusting the sand off, he packed it back in his pocket, his arms falling at his sides with no intention of resuming their activities. “I’ll just do it later.”

Silence stretched thin as the two of you gazed at the sky, long enough for you to forget you weren’t astral bodies yourselves until your own mindless admission went through.

“In my next life, I want to be a turtle. They carry their houses on their backs and don’t have to deal with rent or taxes.”

“What a sly way to say ya want me off your back.” Toji quipped.

“Something tells me you’d still find a way to stick around. You are like gum in hair. I’d need to shave my head to get rid of you.”

“Turtles don’t have hair, stupid.”

“Shh, don’t ruin my analogy.” You protested. “And why do you always call me stupid?” Your chin rolled on his chest. “I went to college. I’m at least smarter than you.”

He let out a snort. “Goin’ to college doesn’t make you any smarter. It proves you’re a nerd.”

“But you’re also pretty,” he added once you were about to sit up, the smirk you mistook for a smile forcing you to drop your guard. “Pretty stupid.”

“That’s it—you’re not coming back alive!”

Planting both knees on each side of his torso, you attempted to smack the smugness out of him, only for your wrists to be pulled forward and your head violently brought down to his level—every thought of retaliation stripped away by the proximity of his lips.

“Scary.”

What was scary was how easily you were tricked into kissing him; your feud nothing more than a pretext for Toji to lure your tongue inside his mouth. Your hands slipped from his grip to his cheeks, gently thumbing at his scar, while his palms wandered behind your back and settled on your butt, making you feel just how hard the press of your thighs had gotten him.

To someone who only knew affection in the form of sex, kissing was merely the prelude to fucking your brains out in the sand—and when you started grinding your hips against his crotch, he was convinced he’d finally catch a break.

“T-Toji,” you breathed out, following the expanse of his arms down to where his fingers fumbled with the waistband of your shorts. “We are not doing this here.”

Your warning didn’t seem half as compelling as the little moans that spilled from your agape lips, the friction between your bodies clouding your judgment. “Toji…” You tried again, slotting your fingers in between his knuckles. “Don’t want sand in my vagina.”

“I’ll suck it out.”

It took a third Toji to kill his aspiration of having the entire city of Chikura learn your names. His frown grew in an instant—an improvement to all the previous scowls he’d worn, maybe because he’d gotten further than every previous attempt and had the confidence that success lurked right around the corner.

He retrieved his hands and pieced them behind his head, hooded green eyes having yet to rid themselves of the lust behind them. “Then stop grinding on my dick already.”

You parted from him with a peck he almost denied and sat up on your heels.

“What do you want to be reborn as, Toji?” You tried to change subjects.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“One life is enough to suffer through.” He shrugged.

“And you call me dramatic,” you mumbled. “Then you don’t believe in reincarnation? I thought the Zen’ins were all pious.”

He rolled on his side, staring at the parked vehicles. Yours was not the only car around, but you hadn’t seen a pedestrian since you’d stopped for gas in the previous town. People in the country had an actual bedtime, as opposed to those in Tokyo.

“They serve religion when it serves ‘em back. Not me. Don’t believe in any of that.”

“Why not?” You pressed.

“Cause I don’t wanna be reborn as a damn turtle.”

You took a moment to process what he’d just said, blinking between “He can’t possibly mean…?” and “No way he just said that” at least a dozen times before you scooted closer, nudging him to flip toward you with a hand on his shoulder.

“Ya think turtles fuck a lot?” Toji broke the temporary silence.

“I… haven’t had the chance to ask one,” his sigh prompting you to add, “They do have a lot of babies though, so maybe?”

“Yeah… maybe.”

You fiddled with the hem of your shirt, your eyes inadvertently drawn to the bulge in his pants. You felt less self-conscious about the damp patch in your underwear and the continuous pulsing between your thighs, both of which begged you to reconsider your answer. A few rounds of the most glorious sex you’d ever have were worth weeks of excruciating pain and gynecologist visits.

“I want my shirt back,” Toji suddenly said.

You peered away from all the dirty thoughts and shifted your gaze to his shirt on your body. “Now? You want me to take it off right now?”

His lack of response served as confirmation.

“But I’m not wearing anything underneath,” as if that could possibly dissuade him.

“Nobody’s looking.” He gestured toward the houses that surrounded the coastline, none of them with a light shining through their windows. “And I certainly don’t mind.”

The obvious choice was to dismiss his request as a corny joke and keep your arms pinned over your chest for the rest of the night. But with your mind so far gone and your heart (read: pussy) assuming office, you were pulling the shirt over your head before you could fully mull things over.

You shaped the cloth into a rough ball of fabric that you tossed at him, your adrenaline peaking to new heights as the realization of your breasts dangling in plain sight settled in. Toji didn’t even try to hide his gawking at them, his eyes blown with surprise. He’d underestimated your guts, and you’d overestimated whatever half-baked confidence carried you this far.

“I—I’ll just return it when we get home.” You hurriedly picked up the shirt from where it’d landed on his lap, trying your best to cover yourself up. “It n-needs a good washing too—my, look at all this—”

You halted as Toji caught your hands and slowly tugged them off your breasts, the shirt falling in an empty pool between your bodies. “Can’t believe you hid these from me.” He whispered, absolutely mesmerized by what was quickly becoming his favorite sight in the world.

His touch posed a question that a reluctant nod answered, your face burning hot and your heart thrumming loudly as Toji’s fingers made their way from your stomach to your chest, goosebumps erupting across every inch of velvet skin they traced. His palms stopped short of their destination while he sized up your reaction, half-expecting you to run off into the ocean and butterfly-stroke back home, but you remained uncharacteristically docile, bearing the intensity of his eyes for the sake of being touched.

Without any further delay, his fingers wrapped around your breasts and squeezed at them, feeling out the weight of the supple flesh in his palms before coming to a conclusion. This was worth the wait.

“You’re so pretty.” His thumbs rubbed your nipples in clockwork order, light pinches perking them up. “So damn pretty.”

“Not pretty stupid or anything?” Your smiles turned joint amidst a soft kiss.

“Nah, I’m the stupid one. You’re plain beautiful.”

“Don’t beat yourself over it.” Your breathing grew heavier as he began to kiss the corners of your mouth. “It’s the extra college years.”

“Fucking nerd. Come ‘ere.”

Toji pushed you to the ground and climbed on top, his knee parting your thighs while his hands kept true to their goal of kneading your breasts, playing with your sensitive peaks to draw the sweetest sounds from your throat.

“Y-You agreed to take things slow, remember? Only kissing.” You tugged at a tuft of hair, not minding that your actions contradicted your words—head tilted back and limbs closing around his waist as you rubbed your heat against his clothed cock.

“Relax.” He nibbled at your earlobe, his lips straying lower and lower with every word he mumbled across your skin. “Promise I won’t fuck any sand into your pussy. I’ll wait till ya beg me to fill it up with somethin’ else.”

A sly idea manifested as an equally sly smirk as Toji unlatched himself from your jaw to stare into your eyes. “How ‘bout this?”

He followed his question with a trail of kisses that led down your neck, searching for permission once his breath inched closer to your nipple, his tongue teasing its perimeter.

“This qualifies as kissing, right?”

“Is this seat taken?”

You lacked the willpower to lift your head from the untouched bowl of chao that lay before the vacant chair—the final chair left on the table aside from yours, all previous ones given away to those with an actual use for them.

The image spoke for itself. A girl who kept twisting her neck in the direction of the door, expecting someone who wouldn’t come, all the while dismissing the waiter’s discreet attempts to free the table. You got stood up, but instead of feeling anger, you only felt worry. Almost an hour had passed since Toji shoved you into this Vietnamese joint on the outskirts of Musashino and promised he’d be back after checking on something—and while Toji definitely was the type to leave without notice, he wasn’t the type to leave free food waiting.

You finally glanced at the young man, who patiently awaited your answer. He was more or less your age, stemming from a group of guys in baseball jerseys, all with a beer jug in hand. College athletes. The kind of people you both envied and avoided.

“You can have it.” You replied at the same time he asked whether you wanted to join their table.

He probably wasn’t a bad guy, and he wasn’t so hard on the eye either. At least that was your impression until he stated his reason for inviting you: because you were cute. There was room only for one sordid womanizer in your life.

Muttering an apology in a hushed tone, you pushed past him and walked outside, the cold wind inviting every hair on your body to stand in ovation. With your hands desperately trying to generate some degree of heat over your forearms, you dashed to the closest phone booth and shut the door behind you. You emptied a few coins in your palm and picked up the receiver, holding it to your ear while you dialed his beeper’s number and pressed 2.

“Hey, it’s me. I just left the restaurant and wanted to say, Hah! Your loss, loser. You really missed out. Don’t even think of asking me to pay for lunch again. That ship has sailed—you blew your chance.” A pause. One long enough for the voice in the speaker to ask you to deposit more coins to continue recording.

“That’s not all. What I wanted to say is, I—um, had fun today. I’m not mad that you went away—well, not that mad, anyway. I understand. There are things you can’t go into detail over, and—yeah, I guess that’s it.” You shook your bags near the phone. “Thank you for the Yoshi and the tapes. You should come over whenever you have time to listen to them together. Promise I’ll spare you the boring trivia.

“Actually, the trivia isn’t boring; you are the one who doesn’t appreciate it, and—damn, I’m ranting again. Just gimme a call, okay? Let me know you’re alive. I probably shouldn’t say this, but I really like your voice. If something bad were to happen, I’d miss hearing it. Maybe if my voice was as nice, you’d listen to me more, but I’m not complaining. I really like it, and I really like you.”

Your cheeks felt hot as you awkwardly chuckled. “You can’t laugh, okay? Don’t you dare laugh, ‘cause I know you like me too. I hope you do. Whatever. You’ll never hear me say this to your face, but I really like you a lot, Toji. Everything about you. I love every single thing about you. Thanks for being my friend and family.

“I’m running out of coins, so I’ll end this here. Talk to you soon. Take care.”

You placed the earphone back in its place and opened the door, banking on the negative fives to cool down your body’s elevated temperature. You managed three steps before the phone started to ring. Without second thought, you threw yourself back into the booth, apologizing as you realized the voice on the other line didn’t belong to the one you thought it would.

You were ready to hang up when the stranger’s words made your heart plummet in your chest. He wasn’t the owner of the beeper, but the device had temporarily fallen into his hands. He claimed to have found it in a manhole four kilometers away from Takaido station, and while there were a lot of gaps in his story, you agreed to meet up at a cafe a few blocks from your current location.

Meeting with a man whose face you didn’t know was risky, but the streets were filling up, and someone had to retrieve the beeper in Toji’s stead. It’d be fine.

“Alright, I’ll see you in ten to fifteen minutes, Mister Kong.”

Your footprints chased closely after you on the way to the car, two separate trails merging every few meters when Toji would lean down to press a kiss on your lips. His kisses tasted salty after that many hours on the beach, though you wouldn’t have it any other way. You wanted to cherish those moments before they crumpled and you woke up back on your couch with the memories of a dream you’d never truly lived.

In this dream, where a tomorrow had yet to dawn, he suggested that you one day return with a towel to finish what you’d started. You talked about trying out the local specialties and staying at a nearby ryokan—because in that dream, your shift didn’t start for five hours and you could afford to break the bank.

Your last stop occurred in front of the passenger seat’s door as you dusted the sand off your clothes. He wasn’t thrilled with your covering his artwork—little pink love bites and light purple bruises lacing your collarbones and breasts—but he let you wear his shirt indefinitely this time.

“Good?” You performed a small twirl, hoping that you’d gotten all the sand off your back.

Toji gestured for you to turn around again, his palm smoothing out the fabric until it landed a muted thwack on your butt. “Now ya good.” He grinned, walking over to his seat.

You held off getting in the car, stealing a final glance at the tranquil landscape before it faded away. You said goodbye to the sand, the pebbles, and the waves, leaving the trees for last, when the outline of something crawling among some rocks attracted your attention.

The creature in discussion had eight long limbs and a seemingly liquid head it dragged behind it, bits of seaweed sticking out of its coral complexion.

“Is that a curse?” You pointed at the horizon, forcing Toji to peek outside the window.

“That’s an octopus. Probably hitchhiked on the riptide.” He fixed the right-side mirror and closed the door. “Not everything’s a curse, dummy. Ya might not see another in your life—best forget it ever happened.”

He was right. You’d lived twenty seven years without a curse making a move. There was no reason to believe they’d suddenly start swarming you as if you were dipped in honey.

Once you were both inside the car, he twisted the key in the ignition, only for the engine to sputter and then immediately die. You knew the bare minimum about cars, so you assumed he knew what he was doing when he stepped outside and popped the hood to take a look at the machinery. You even thought the kick he gave the front wheel was part of some ritual to fix the failure, until he opened your door for you and, with an irritated smile, declared you weren’t going to believe this.

[waltwhitmansbeard]

"I'm here. I've got you. You're safe now." For Vaxleth

7. "I'm here. I've got you. You're safe now."

Vax is no stranger to all manner of horrors. His body is a symphony of scars, the bars to the score of his attempts at survival, at protecting those he cares about, at making the world a better place. He has seen things no mortal should see, stood witness to atrocities that have shaken his understanding of the world to its core. And yet mostly, he's okay. He's lucky, all things considered, because the people he has surrounded himself with cast such wonderful light into his dark corners, making it impossible to languish in the darkness for too long.

But there's just this one thing. When compared to the rest of the shit he's seen—dragon attacks and bodies swinging from trees and friends sliced in half and his sister, cold and lifeless on the floor—it's nothing. Barely worth discussing. Just one more thing on the pile.

And yet sometimes, in the darkest hours of night, when his dreams turn strange and terrifying, he sees it: the glint of teeth in the moonlight, a beloved face twisting into something monstrous, hands turned the wrong way, sickening, slashing. Terror grips his throat in its massive paw, and this is it. This is how he dies.

He startles awake, sweating and wild-eyed. The room is too dark to see. Something shifts beside him, and the dagger that never leaves its spot beneath his pillow is instantly in his hands.

"Vax?"

Not a tower, but a bedroom. Not Whitestone, but Zephrah. Not the rakshasa, but Keyleth. She rubbing her eye with the heel of her palm, her hair a rat's nest from sleep. "Are you okay?"

He hopes she can't see the dagger shake as he lowers it into his lap. "Yeah. Sorry. Go back to sleep."

The sting of embarrassment whisks the breath from his lungs. Too wise, his Tempest, too good at seeing past his cracked foundation. Slowly, she slides the dagger from him, twists around to set it on her nightstand. Then her hand comes up to card through his hair, which he imagines must be a rat's nest in its own right. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Foolish. Dramatic. He shakes his head, smiles the smile he knows she won't believe. "I'm fine."

A moment later, a scattering of fireflies dance around their heads, and now there really is no hiding from her. Her face is impassable, patient, knowing. She waits for him, must see the way the color rises in his cheeks as it all becomes too much, too quickly. She catches him when he falls, keeps his face in the crook of her neck as he cries for—well, he's not sure what for, if he's being honest. He just cries.

"I'm here," she whispers, her breath warm against his ear. "I've got you. You're safe now."

And he is, which may be the most overwhelming bit of it. He is in their bed, in the home they share, in the town that welcomed him in like a native son. They traveled to the Hells and back and left the rakshasa destroyed, incapable of ever returning to exact his revenge once more, and he will never again need to look into Shaun's face and question what he sees there—but he can't stop fucking crying anyway.

But she doesn't seem to mind. She holds him, lets her fingers play with the ends of his hair as she sways back and forth like a feather on the breeze. Her collar of her nightdress is soaked now, but she doesn't let him pull away, doesn't let him curl in on himself like he wants to. She presses kisses into the shell of his ear, and fuck, Vax can't remember the last time being alive felt like this.

After a few minutes, he gets a hand up to rub at his face, the embarrassed heat still tickling at the base of his throat, and croaks out, "Thank you. Sorry."

The fireflies press in closer, so he can't avoid the sincerity in her eyes when she says, "This is what loving you means, and I choose it every time."

Fuck, fuck. He lets her pull him back down to his pillow, curl into his side as if she were the one who needed to be held together. The fireflies drift off, up and out, until they disperse into darkness. Vax closes his eyes, listens to her breath against his skin, and when he's ready, lets sleep come and claim him once more.

[gladiolidiaries]

can give you an idea of their meetups these are the ones we know about plus one controversial one that I believe is worth mentioning to either prove or disprove definitively. please feel free to add any ones missing or correct any mistakes as I'm doing this from memory

2022

Feb: Valentine's day week

March: England, on separate streams they both said they decided to go at the last minute, they were spotted alone together in a video with a fan

April: LA

May: LA again with foolish after his nc/florida roadtrip

June: New York where they were spotted by a fan alone shopping (there's a clip of it somewhere on twitter), Tinacon, karl was also in LA prior to Tinacon but no idea how many times they met up during that time

July: Tinacon continued, LoL tournament in Las Vegas, on a foolish fall guys stream tina talked about going to nc for karl's bday but for some reason this didn't happen

August: Tina went to NC

Sept: Tina went to New York followed by Karl a few days later, people say he was busy working but one of the otv vlogs showed he was with their group, LA again for Name Your Price, Karl was in LA a while before leaving to England

Oct: after getting back from England late sept karl went straight back to LA and didn't leave until mid Oct, early oct he announced getting a place in la within days of tina announcing moving there at the end of sept.

Dec: the controversial one that is NOT PROVEN, but it is believed by some that she flew to portland to spend time with karl and his family between dec 14-17th (that's the week they celebrated christmas), those who believe this theory point to several things such as tina saying she was going to be unavailable, then several hours later someone on twitter saying they spotted her at lax on the 14th, her being absent from all social media and even discord during that time, as well as karl streaming from her room on the 17th saying he just got off a plane an hour ago suggesting they flew back together and then went straight to her place. also they spent the 17-23/24th together. again the portland meetup is a theory, nobody actually knows where she was during that time.

2023

Feb: Valentines week NC, tina stayed at karls house

March: around 9/10 karl went to la and didn't leave for 2 weeks

April: early april karl went to la again stayed a few days, then flew back with tina to nc she again stayed at his house, then in late april tina flew to japan to see him

May: karl and tina stay almost the entire first week of may in japan

June: 6/7 karl flies to la to watch spiderman with her and leaves after only being there two days, we know this because they told the same story about the movie experience they had watching it, neither knew the other told the story and neither mentioned the other was there. then they met up sometime around the 18th of june again and hung out til the end of vidcon where he briefly left to go with mr beast before coming back on the 28th and staying through july 6/7

July: stayed until the last possible moment before leaving to pack for paris, tina then flies on the 18th to nc to spend time with him on his bday, again staying at his house

August: 7-12th from what I've seen others mention

those are the ones I'm aware of between 2022 and now... with maybe one or two missing in september of 2022 and possibly others missing as well. I'm sure someone else with more knowledge can fill you on on 2021

wow anon this is so good. they really do meet at least once a month but usually twice a month. that's quite telling cause karl is always travelling but he makes time for her.

would love to know more about 2021 if anyone knows the lore

[blustormrush]

Name: Matthias Lewis Holt

Aliases: Scout, Matt, Matthew, Little Rat, Mattie

Team: BLU

Age: 25 "Physically 40 something, but was stuck in respawn for 12 years"

Gender: Last time he checked, Male

Birthplace: Unknown, but has a strong Northern American accent

Height: 5"7

Weight: 140

Build: Matt is quite thin and lean, having the body of a runner

Sexuality: Unknown

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Blue

Personality: Matt is what many would call a dedicated individual with slight insecurities relating to self-worth. Being the eldest of 5, there was a lot expected of him, so he's quite harsh against his own mistakes. On a personal level, he's rather friendly and a bit mischievous. Matt doesn't care for authority, but can easily be manipulated into following an order if his reputation is put on the line. Useless is something he NEVER wants to be. Under stress, he can become quite efficient, switching to this mindset of accomplishing the mission first and foremost. Matt is anything but cocky. In fact, he remains mostly silent about his abilities and accomplishments, preferring to let his actions speak for themselves. However, he will call something out when it is absolutely stupid. As a lover, he tends to fall into a tsundere type of character. He's not super touchy or clingy, and won't say when he wants physical affection, but one hug and he's immediately touch starved. When angry, he sort of just goes quiet and isolates himself. He's easy to cry.

Backstory: Unlike normal Scouts, he was taken with his father to go on spying business. Matt was often used as the distraction and the stand in. He was taught how to swoon targets, speak in different accents, and squeeze into tight spaces. All of his siblings used to give him letters about how lucky he was to work with dad, but he didn't share that sentiment. When working with his dad, he was seen as more of an employee than a son. Matt was required to be willing to risk his life for the mission, no matter what. There were a few occasions that he almost did. Eventually, they came to work for Mannco. They offered his father high pay and job benefits that he just couldn't turn down. Matt ended up becoming the team's Scout, but it wasn't anything like they imagined.

The team they were put in had a powerful hierarchy, one he was not in favor of. Matt was constantly breaking the rules and breaking the mold, trying to encourage others to overturn this power imbalance. Od course, nobody was willing to endure the punishments he did. The team's Engineer was over him, replacing a body part with mechanical engineering anytime he stepped out of line. He had both legs, an arm, an eye, and part of his spine. It was painful until all the nerve endings set in. Now, it's just different. He puts synthetic skin over them to convince himself they're organic. One day, his father disappeared, and Matt spent most hours of his day looking for information on why. His searches eventually proved fruitful. The Scout uncovered a door marked "Classified". Using a gun, he broke off the lock and searched through the files. The minute he touched the file cabinet, an alarm went off. Matt tried to escape, but he was shot down by a teammate, his respawn being switched off. Unfortunately, it was too late to activate, stopping Matt one second before respawning, leaving him stuck in stasis.

One day, the respawn miraculously pushed him through, leaving a VERY paranoid and disturbed Scout.

Likes: Hot Drinks, Jackets, Comics, Pranks, Storms, Being Up In High Places, Food, Having A Morning Run, Getting Up Early, A Job Well Done, Sweets

Dislikes: Sleeping, Being In Rooms Without Windows (Claustrophohic), Going Through Respawn, Authority, Losing, Being Made Fun Of

Extra: His robotic eye glows when it is analyzing. It is capable of seeing through walls, scanning and viewing items in 3D, detecting heat and heart rates, identifying individuals, planning travel routes before taking them, crosshairs for firing, and how far he is from the objective. It can also turn off the lights.

Has high level skills in acrobatics, parkour, and agility.

[liskantope]

Happy Winter Sostice everyone!

On past solstices I've often posted "Happy Solstice!" and mentioned something about how one day I would find a way to attend some sort of Secular Solstice event with rationalists. Well, now that I live in reasonable driving distance from New York, it's finally happened, the weekend before last (evening of the 10th). While the experience was anticlimactic in some ways, I still think it's worth recounting at least for myself to look back on if for no one else.

The event took place in a theater in a dense part of NYC and driving there was... a mistake. This wound up overshadowing the event itself both in terms of time/energy and (almost) in terms of giving me a memorable experience and feeling of accomplishment -- given how doubtful it was at one time in my life that I was ever going to be a competent driver given some of my neurological difficulties, every additional intense driving scenario that I've managed to get through with flying colors over the past three years since I got my second car and first began to do city driving feels like a serious victory.

Long story short, I forgot to figure in parking to my timetable for arriving at the event and, although I got to the correct street at around the start of the event, finding a parking garage that wasn't full and/or going to cost me over $50 was a challenge, one which involved 5-7-point turns each time I needed to change course, with each "point" of the turn accompanied by waiting for a sequence of pedestrians or cyclists to pass in front of and behind me. In the end I found a garage that would take my car for two hours for a charge of $30, which I've heard since then is quite a bargain for parking in NYC. I rushed into the theater around 20 minutes late, but they were only just getting started, by singing "We'll Meet Again", followed by "Still Alive", so maybe they figured that others would have vehicle/transportation issues as well.

I stayed near the back and eventually spoke to the people sitting near me but only them, apart from during the intermission when I walked around and introduced myself to a few more people. My real prospect of socializing and getting to know these rationalists was the afterparty, which I knew would take place at a different location in New Jersey shortly after the main event. (There was also going to be an un-conference the next day, but I didn't want to deal with lodging and a full weekend out of town and planned to instead drive back home very late after the afterparty.) As it turned out, my experience of the afterparty never happened, again because of my car being involved. I knew I had to check it out of the parking garage before the two hours were up, and I was able to make the lengthy drive into the afterparty location, driving under the Hudson to do so (there's something that always feels very momentous and exciting about crossing the Hudson for me), but parking anywhere reasonably near it proved to be completely impossible: the only parking garage I could locate anywhere near it turned out to no longer exist, and meanwhile, circling over and over waiting for street parking to open (you really have to be there and ready to act the moment someone else leaves a street spot) wasn't getting me anywhere (in more senses than one), and meanwhile I was tired and very hungry, having still not managed to get dinner. I finally had to admit defeat, embracing the silver lining that I would only be driving home a little uncomfortably late instead of during the wee hours of the morning. So, in the end that was at least five hours of driving for an event that lasted less than two hours for me. Next time (like if I decide to attend the next solstice event in June), I'm definitely traveling by train.

Despite coming away feeling disappointed that I didn't get more out of all the trouble I went to, there's something enjoyable in basking in the freedom I have in my life now, even when I've generally preferred the idea of being more tied down by this age: I can very spontaneously decide to drive over two hours away for just an evening with total strangers and pay $65 to do so ($30 for the parking and $35 for a ticket to the event) and not have to worry terribly much about the possibility of needing to pay more if anything goes wrong. That's a level of freedom tons of people I know have never really had, that I might not have forever and may one day be looking back upon nostalgically.

Anyway, the actual event.

Complemented with the afterparty or a chance to really get to mingle with the crowd, I think it may have been a fantastic experience. As it happened, I found it an inspiring and very intriguing experience with the potential to be much more if I weren't such an outsider and if I'd had the chance to properly mingle. The crowd of people, to start with, were in some sense the first roomful of self-identifying (aspiring) rationalists I've ever met in meatspace, or at least I think to a greater extent than those I've met at SSC/ACX meetups (those crowds are united in having some medium-to-strong interest in Scott Alexander's writing, but this is distinct from being fully acquainted with or part of the rationalist community). And... I don't quite know the right words to articulate this, but... they looked and presented and behaved exactly like I always imagined a group of rationalists to come across: in terms of age (from 20's to early 40's but hardly anyone looked older than that) and degree of unconventional presentation (moderate, nothing really flashy, but many somewhat unconventional but looking very comfortable in their own skin, a great deal of variety in styles). Since I didn't do much direct interaction with them, I can't speak much to their personal mannerisms, but my general impression of that was very similar. Overall I'd feel quite comfortable socializing in a group like that.

There was no program posted anywhere that I could find (nor has there been, since), and I really didn't know much of what to expect. I had seen video footage of a Secular Solstice in the Bay Area a few years ago, which suggested that most of the event would be songs interspersed with readings, which was exactly what this event turned out to be. The readings were of parts of essays written by various prominent members of the rationalist community (one was by Scott Alexander but I didn't remember it). I believe the only person who came onto the stage to read their own writing was Zvi Mowshowitz, a name I vaguely knew as I've seen some of his articles pop up from time to time show up in my Wordpress reading feed. Apart from Zvi, I didn't encounter any figures I was familiar with (it occurred to me that Aella might be there, as I believe she lives in the area and does some socializing with the rationalist community, but I didn't notice any sign of her).

But what the event was really about was music, and that was by far the most impressive aspect of it. There was a full band on stage as well as the guy running the event and a couple of other organizers who took turns leading the singing. Some songs, like the first two plus at least one Beatles song ("Here Comes the Sun"), are fairly well known, but what really impressed me was how many songs were written by rationalist community members themselves, and they were good! As in, really good. Both in the poetry of their lyrics and in their musicality. Their general messages and turns of phrase were calibrated at just the right balance of being cerebral and beautifully moving (many about the wonders of technological progress, but also a lot of the content was about groping toward societal progress and a culture based on love and togetherness). I would love a list of the songs and where to find lyrics and recordings of them and so on, but again, nothing in the way of a program seems to be posted anywhere. Lyrics flashed on a big screen; audience participation was of course highly encouraged and really enjoyable for me. Altogether the musical aspect made me compare this experience very favorably to my recent (since 2019) experiences with Unitarian Universalist services: although my very favorite aspect of my "new" UU congregation that I had an ongoing but rocky relationship with was the amazing quality of the music at their services, I found this Solstice event a more spiritually gripping experience than probably any UU service I've ever been to. This is despite the vibe at UU being more overtly about spirituality, and being very touchy-feely (to use a term I'm not super fond of, but after someone suggested it to me it's hard for me to think of something that better describes the more recent UU vibe). Nobody at Solstice appeared to crying or in the thralls of profound emotions or anything transcendent exactly, but everyone appeared to be very earnest and serious (though having fun in the lighter parts) and compared to 2019-and-later UU, I felt a stronger sense of emotionally vibing with a community; this is despite also knowing I was a pretty big outsider who didn't actually know a single person in the room.

As a side note, whoever put the program together did an excellent job of setting it up to convey the sensation of going through a very long night but seeing the dawn ahead, which is only what's most appropriate for celebrating the winter solstice (and at an event taking place well after sunset). I like to imagine the summer solstice version having quite a different feel and hope I might get to find out in six months.

Overall, interesting and promising. Hard to say, but maybe I'll be back in June.

[dankusner]

Bride, parents at odds over open bar

Gentle Reader:

Just because someone is paying for a wedding does not mean that their decisions should dominate, Miss Manners has often said.

But just because they are the parents does.

Your daughter’s rejection of your generosity is baffling.

And her logic that the drunk friend will drink less for the one hour that he has to pay for it is even more so.

If your daughter is truly concerned about the well-being of this gentleman, then offer to close the bar and shut down the party entirely after three hours.

Faced with the prospect of ending the festivities early, Miss Manners feels fairly certain she will come around.

Dear Miss Manners:

Our daughter is getting married in about six months.

My husband and I told her that we would help out financially and have contributed a significant amount thus far.

She and her fiancé have to cover some of the costs as well.

The groom’s parents are not contributing anything toward the reception.

My daughter doesn’t share the same etiquette as I do on certain things.

She balked at our wanting to invite seven friends, but then I found out that she invited about 40 more guests than originally planned.

She will give all of her guests a plus-one but was reluctant to do the same for her one aunt.

She chose to have a destination wedding that’s about 90 minutes away from our city.

In our area, wedding receptions include an open bar, but she told me that they will only have an open bar for three hours, ending with a cash bar.

We offered to pay for the additional hour, as we feel like you should provide for your guests, especially if you are asking people to travel out of town for your wedding (and possibly expect them to pay for lodging for the night).

She won’t hear of it.

Their logic for not having an open bar for the full evening is that the groom has one friend who might drink too much.

(Just don’t invite him?)

We are feeling a lot of frustration, as she doesn’t accept any suggestions from us and feels that she knows everything.

Another relative did this to her own parents: insisted that she knew everything and then ran out of wine right after dinner.

Our daughter has told us that she won’t repeat that behavior, but she is showing all the signs of doing just that.

Am I out of touch, or out of line, in wanting to provide an open bar for the guests?

I see it as a courtesy, and if we are willing to pick up the additional $7 a person, it is worth it.

[elsie--young]

Discovering Cocoa Beach: A Realistic Guide to Sightseeing!

When I first arrived at Cocoa Beach, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Sure, I had read all the brochures, watched a couple of YouTube videos, and browsed some travel blogs, but nothing prepared me for the real experience. Cocoa Beach, known as the "Space Coast" due to its proximity to the Kennedy Space Center, offers so much more than just a typical beach day. If you're planning a visit, let me walk you through what I experienced, so you can make the most of your Cocoa Beach sightseeing adventure.

Problem: Overcrowded Tourist Spots

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced during my travels is dealing with overcrowded tourist spots. Don’t get me wrong—I love a good crowd, but sometimes it can ruin the experience. I had heard Cocoa Beach could get busy, especially during peak season, so I was worried about missing out on the authentic charm of the place.

Agitation: Missing the Real Cocoa Beach

When a place gets too crowded, it’s easy to miss out on what really makes it special. The true essence of a destination can get lost among the throngs of tourists, long lines, and overbooked attractions. I didn’t want my Cocoa Beach experience to be just another stop on the tourist trail. I wanted something real—something that would give me a true sense of what this place is all about.

Solution: Cocoa Beach Sightseeing—The Real Deal

So, what’s the solution? I decided to dig a little deeper, explore beyond the typical tourist attractions, and find the Cocoa Beach that the locals love. And let me tell you—it was worth it.

Early Morning at the Cocoa Beach Pier

My day started early at the Cocoa Beach Pier, a historical landmark that dates back to 1962. I arrived around 7:00 AM, just as the sun was rising. The pier stretches 800 feet over the Atlantic Ocean, and at that hour, it was peaceful and serene. The pier is more than just a place to fish or grab a bite—it's a hub of activity with restaurants, shops, and even live music on the weekends. But in the early morning, it was just me, the ocean, and a handful of locals casting their lines.

Exploring the Kennedy Space Center

Next on my list was the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex, just a 30-minute drive from Cocoa Beach. This place is a must-see, especially if you're a space enthusiast like me. I spent about four hours here, and it wasn’t nearly enough. The highlight? Definitely the Space Shuttle Atlantis exhibit. Standing inches away from a real space shuttle was nothing short of awe-inspiring. The visitor complex also offers a bus tour of NASA’s launch facilities, which is a great way to see where history was made.

Taking a Break at Lori Wilson Park

After the Kennedy Space Center, I needed a break. I headed back to Cocoa Beach and found my way to Lori Wilson Park. This 32.43-acre park offers free parking, which is a rarity in beach towns, and a beautiful stretch of beach that’s far less crowded than the main strip. The park also has picnic areas, a dog park, and nature trails, making it a great spot to relax and recharge.

A Quick Stop at the Florida Surf Museum

Being in Cocoa Beach, the “Surfing Capital of the East Coast,” I couldn’t resist stopping by the Florida Surf Museum. Located inside the Ron Jon Surf Shop, the museum is small but packed with history. I spent about 45 minutes here, learning about the evolution of surf culture on the East Coast. It’s a quick stop, but definitely worth it if you’re interested in surfing or local history.

Wrapping Up the Day with Sunset at the Thousand Islands

I wrapped up my day with a kayaking tour of the Thousand Islands, a group of small mangrove islands in the Indian River Lagoon. The tour lasted about two hours, and it was the perfect way to end my Cocoa Beach sightseeing adventure. As the sun set, the water turned a deep shade of orange, and we even spotted a few dolphins playing in the distance. It was a moment of pure tranquility that perfectly captured the natural beauty of Cocoa Beach.

Conclusion: Cocoa Beach Sightseeing is More Than Just a Beach Day

In the end, my Cocoa Beach sightseeing experience was everything I hoped for and more. It wasn’t just about soaking up the sun—although I did plenty of that—it was about discovering the unique character of this beautiful part of Florida. From the historical Cocoa Beach Pier to the awe-inspiring Kennedy Space Center and the peaceful Thousand Islands, there’s so much to see and do. So, if you’re planning a trip to Cocoa Beach, I highly recommend going beyond the usual tourist spots. You won’t regret it.

Remember, the key to a great Cocoa Beach sightseeing experience is to explore, stay curious, and take the time to enjoy the little moments.

[umichenginabroad]

An In-Seine Trip to Paris!

Week 7

As you can tell from the title, the big mystery as to where I went this weekend is now revealed! Woah! To those of you who guessed correctly from last week, unfortunately I don't have any fun prizes to send you...bummer I know. However, I do have a LOT to share from this lovely excursion which is completely free to read and quite priceless. Without further ado, this is the City of Light experienced from an Emily near (or far from) you.

Day 1: Triumphing the Arc

Right off the bat we were off to a great start waking up in the early hours of 3:30 am for our bus to the Bilbao Airport. Surprisingly, I wasn't very tired but rather a bit delirious on the ride there and talked Deidra's ear off the entire time. Luckily it was a pretty speedy boarding process and the flight itself was super short so in a blip of time we were in PARIS! Ubered to our hotel where the traffic really felt like that of New Jersey and big props to our driver because he looked really fed up. Since the hotel was really close to the Arc de Triomphe, we decided to make this our first stop. We took the underground tunnel to get to the base since trying to cross the street would've ended up as us becoming roadkill after less than an hour of being in the city. It truly was a sight to see and worth what everyone says! The amount of detail in the statues was very impressive, along with seeing the eternal flame for the unknown soldier.

From there, we took a stroll down the famous Champs-Élysées which featured a bunch of different stores and strangely enough...a treasure chest? It was for some sort of Louis Vuitton promotion to cover the front of the building but we had fun speculating what they were hiding inside of it. What I really liked about this area were the window displays. For many of the high-end shops these displays were immaculate with the clear precision put into them. For example, in the pic below you can see that this was made entirely out of seashells!

We reached the Seine and took a stroll to observe the sights and sounds, slowly making our way to the one and only Eiffel Tower. This was definitely Izzy's favorite part of Paris; her love for that tower is truly unmatched. Does it live up to the hype? In my opinion it absolutely does. No picture is really able to capture how it feels to experience this in person. We were able to visit the tower during the day and at night, and I have to say that at night it was even prettier. There are three different viewings that are a must to see, one at 11, 12, and then 1 am. The 11 and 12 ones are when the tower sparkles for five minutes, and then for the 1 am it's almost the same except all the lights turn off and its just the sparkles. As a tried and true tourist, I took an atrocious amount of Eiffel Tower photos. For one of the most iconic landmarks in the world, I just had to give in a little.

If you've been here for a while you'll remember my travel buddy, Eggdar! After living it up in Barcelona I had to bring him to Paris too

Since it was the 4th of July when we arrived, to pay homage to the homeland here's Izzy and Deidra square dancing (we swear that the guy singing sounded much better in person):

Day 2: The not so Petit Palais and venturing the Catacombs

It was Izzy's dream to visit a museum known as the Petit Palais, which is actually located right across from the Grand Palais. Despite its name, this art museum was waaay bigger than it looked packed full of sculptures, paintings, artifacts, furniture, and a garden! We even got to a see a Monet and Cézanne alongside some modern artwork which I found really cool. The ornate ceilings were beautiful, and I would 100% recommend going here (also was free admission!).

Tower of Babel! And also accurate representation of what it's like to read my enlightening and entertaining blog posts :)

Mission complete: Petit Palais conquered ✅

I feel like I can't really say this for being in a city like Paris with so many highlights, but the next two things really made my day. We were walking around some of the streets looking for lunch when I saw this shop called Amorino that caught my eye. Out front was a picture of their signature gelato macaron icecream flower and to no surprise, their advertisement worked on me. I was easily enabled by Izzy to try it and was so moved by this heavenly combination of flavors that nearly brought a tear to my eye. When I first ordered, I thought that I could only pick a few flavors, but oh no no, I was told that I could pick as many as a I wanted which opened up a world of opportunities for me. I ended up choosing mango, chocolate, hazelnut, and stracciatella, topped with a cutesy raspberry macaron. 11/10 in taste, look, and savorability. I await the day when me and this icecream can be reunited once again.

Before going on this trip, I had been looking up art stores around San Sebastián since I've been running out of supplies to use. Out of curiosity, I looked for some in Paris to find that it houses the oldest art store which Picasso, Degas, and Cézanne had all stepped foot in. Naturally, I knew that I had to be there. Located right on the Seine and across from the Louvre, Magasin Sennelier was everything I ever wanted and more. With two floors, this place was packed to the brim and even featured a wall where visitors could draw or write something which was really cute. Whenever I'm in an art store, I like to take my time and test out literally every product before I decide what I want to get. I told my friends to just leave me there, stayed till my heart's content, and left with a dent in my bank account like no other.

Je t'aime Sennelier <3

At this point, we split up where Izzy and Deidra went to the Louvre and Jayashree and I to the Catacombs. Prior to that, we took a nice sightseeing journey of the Lovure pyramid and surrounding architecture. Even though I wasn't able to get tickets, seeing the outside was still super incredible!

Getting to the catacombs is a whole story in itself. Since we were at the Louvre and our destination was about a 40 minute walk away, we decided to wait for the bus. Figured it would be no problem, right? Wrong. The bus zoomed past the stop so we figured that we would just hold out until the next one. 15-20 minutes pass, other buses, come and go, but the one we're supposed to take never shows up. Jayashree looks at me and says "we gotta run, but we can make it in 20 minutes if we do." With a time crunch on our hands and no other options, I begrudgingly agreed. I'm not a runner or a trackstar by any means, so this was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad run for me. I made it a decent distance until I was winded and hailed the first taxi that I saw dripping in sweat and wanting to die. Jayashree insists that I could've made it further but I would've become a subterranean Parisian ghost if I did. Five minutes before our buffer window was up, we made it to the entrance...

Mysteries of the Paris Underground

If you're not a fan of the spooks, feel free to skip past this part. Our tour of the catacombs was self-guided, but had an audio component which explained the significance of things we saw down there. The spiral stairs took us to an astounding 65 feet in the depths, where we walked through passageways, old aqueducts, quarries, and the ossuary which houses all the skulls and bones of centuries of the dead. The oldest that I saw were from 1787, along with tombs of important figures during the French Revolution. The ossuary was the largest part of the catacombs, which makes sense since one of the main purposes was due to a lack of space in cemeteries. Walking through, it's hard to describe how I felt seeing lines upon lines of remains from people of all ages. Many of them could have also been very prominent in society, such as scientists, writers, or even nobility since there's not a way to clearly identify who is who. It really provokes a sense of morbidity and I definitely felt a bit existential at times. There was a room with a well that we walked past and learned how an experiment was done there with goldfish. Basically, some goldfish were placed in the well and left for 2-3 years, and when the researchers came back they found that the fish were blind. After performing some experiments, they concluded that the fish could predict the weather, but today that theory has been debunked. It was very interesting to hear and also imagine from the fish's perspective. Imagine being put underground, you become blind, and then you're hailed as an oracle? That would be some crazy lore to add to your backstory for sure. Another fact from the catacombs is that at one point in time there was a party thrown there. Yes, an actual party. There was someone who invited 100 guests and a 45-person orchestra for a bumpin party in the underground. I don't know how they did it but I also don't know how you get chosen for something like this either? Something to ponder...

Day 3: Rats, snails, and your friendly neighborhood wall man

For our last (so sad!) full day in Paris we decided to take a stroll up to Montmartre to see the Sacré-Cœur Basilica, Moulin Rouge, and last but most certainly not least the sculpture of Le Passe-Muraille. Deidra told us the story behind this which is about a guy who discovers he can walk through walls, becomes a professional bank robber with his newfound power, trolls his boss, falls in love, and then ends up stuck in a wall when he loses his power. He's kind of a creep though but we got some cool pictures with the guy. Montmartre also had a very picturesque view of the entire city, a wall dedicated to 250 "I love you's" in different languages, and an amazing restaurant with fire blueberry pancakes.

Jayashree and Deidra slapping palms with the wall man (maybe it brings you good luck? Or he could be cursed who knows)

Later on for dinner, Jayashree and I wanted to get the full traditional French meal experience so we went to a place called Le Hameau. Our goal was to try escargot and eat a meal that would leave us FULL! She got a seafood pasta and I got a ribeye steak, both of which were delish. The escargot was an interesting eat since it came with a two-pronged fork to get the snail out and a snail shell grabber so your hands don't get messy when you eat. Pretty ingenious really. Surprisingly, we both really liked it. The snail itself wasn't slimy at all and very tender, with a butter/pesto/parsley sauce which tasted divine. For dessert, we ordered a roasted fig crumble with icecream. This was another thing we didn't expect since we thought the crumble would be similar to an apple crumble but it was actually the whole fig fruit. Still a good eat. Overall, we did in fact leave feeling full and with love in our hearts for escargot.

For our last hurrah, we decided to go see the 1 am viewing of the Eiffel Tower. On our way to the metro, we had an encounter with a furry friend: a rat. Now, it had been Jayashree's mission this entire trip to see a rat, so when I saw it first and she missed it, we searched around the trash cans and around bushes to try and find it again. We eventually did see it scurry off, but that wouldn't be our last sighting. As we were sitting by the Seine in the grass waiting for Ms. Eiffel to sparkle for the last time, we heard a squeak and saw the shadow of another rat in the bushes! Jayashree immediately took off and was using her flashlight to find it, all while the lightshow had started. She had more important things to see than the lights, pshh. By the end of the night, we had accomplished both goals of seeing the legendary sparkle and not one, not two, but four rats in the flesh.

In three days, we saw and did a lot! Paris is a city that deserves more time to be in, and for that I want to come back sometime in my life and explore more of it. This was a very long-winded post but with quality content as always for my dearest readers.

Emily in Paris -> Emily in Spain once again. Until next time!

Emily Dobao

Biomedical Engineering

IPE San Sebastian, Spain

July 8th, 2024

[katy-books]

Poll results.

I posted this poll because I wanted to know if I was the only 'misery guts'.

It was both sad and interesting to read the reblogs by others like me who'd rather skip the day altogether. So, here's mine if anyone's interested.

I hate my birthday. I've always hated parties and, thankfully, my mum knows me well enough to have never thrown me a surprise party (I used to be genuinely afraid that she would). That being said, if I liked parties I feel like my birthdays would have been easier to celebrate. It started for me when my birthday went from being in the summer holidays to being on a work day, at a job I hated and at which I was bullied to near suicide. Part of it was that the person whose birthday it was had to bring in cake for everyone else. I always took my birthday off after that first time but I still had to bring cake for everyone and the mess I always came back to (I was in charge of the filing system) meant it was probably more stress than it was worth to take a couple of days off. The several years I was there pretty much killed birthdays for me. But I could enjoy birthdays again after I was made redundant though right? Nope. A couple weeks before I left, our jack russell died. He would always help us (I'm a twin) unwrap our presents and then cover the floor in shreds of wrapping paper. Without him there, unwrapping things felt too quiet. That was 7 years ago and I still get that empty feeling when I unwrap presents. It's worth mentioning here that I can't drive due to epilepsy. This year I finally convinced my mum to not wrap me any presents. I wanted a day out in Scarborough to see an event at the castle with her and my little cousin (which also meant her mum who I have a toxic relationship with but my mum would probably distract her anyway) and that's it. But our shih tzu was ill so we had to cancel, and then uncancel, but in the span of a few hours my little cousin's mum had decided it was a waste of time. There were a lot of reasons this got complicated but her attitude was dog shit. I ended up going just with my mum to the Scarborough Castle event last minute because my twin brother insisted we go even though I said I didn't want to anymore. It was good but I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have. I saw the little cousin (she's not little anymore she's 17 😅) a couple of days later - turns out she was travelling on the train to Scarborough by herself a couple of days after my birthday and then going on to meet her parents in Whitby. I went on the train with her to keep her company and we spent a few hours walking around Scarborough together. It was lovely to see her but nothing about any of it went to plan. This wasn't the first time her mum had a dog shit attitude towards my birthday. Last time it was when I wanted to see a movie and go to a pizza restaurant. Her mum cancelled because she was angry that her daughter had called me about her GCSE results before calling her. When we eventually met up on the beach she wouldn't speak to me or even look at me. My presents from her that year were a rock she drew on with sharpie and a battered box of paper napkins (it's not a poverty thing before anyone thinks that). The most tragic thing about it is that we were very close when I was a kid. We drifted apart a little when I grew up but she seemed eager for me to spend time with her daughter, until she wasn't. I don't know when that changed or why but nevertheless I'm fairly certain she hates me now. For the sake of her daughter, who I'm still close with, I try to be delightful. Another birthday day out was ruined by my aforementioned twin brother. I delayed my birthday trip until October because I wanted to go to a nature reserve in autumn. My brother and I have periods of difficulty and I specifically wanted it to just be me and my mum. Nope, he decided he had to come with us but he wouldn't come for the walk. Then he decided he was coming for a bit of the walk. Then when he went back to the car and called every half an hour to ask how long we'd be. It was several miles and I was taking photos. It was going to be a while. The final reason I don't like my birthday is that I'm 31. Each birthday represents another wasted year with zero accomplishments and a ticking clock on my ability to have a child.

Basically, I miss our jack russell, my birthday is never about me, I don't want to celebrate getting older and I hate the social pressure to do so. The existential dread probably isn't helped by years of depression either.

For the record, I don't hate all birthdays. I really enjoy buying presents for the people I love. I just hate my birthday and, when I meet new people in future, I'll probably refuse to tell them when my birthday is.

[opalkire]

Doing some writing for swordtember! Here's the first 7!

Day 1 - Witch's sword The Folded Cauldron: This wakizashi was created from the hammered and folded remains of a destroyed cauldron. The hilt of the sword features a hollow channel, which can be used for two features. 1. Items can be placed inside, and over the course of a week of use, will slowly transform into a potion, dependent on what has been placed in for creation.

2. A potion can be poured inside for applications through the blade, creating seven strikes worth each.

Day 2 of Swordtember - Wizard The Sword of Orb This lightweight rapier was designed for wizard officers of the navy.Dunked into water, and held by the blade, the blood and water mix to form a slowly swirling blue sphere that can be used to cast message, scry, and light. Once the orb has formed, the sword balances neatly on its tip on any flat surface, permitting pondering as well as the spells given

Swordtember day 3 - Rogue A Blade for a Masquerade - This narrow cane sword has a damascus steel blade, a small cat with peridot chips for eyes for the handle. The hilt is wrapped in alternating woven strips of leather, held at the top. Drawing the blade gives access to the ends of these strips, and pulling them free reveals a different outfit, up to seven at a time, restoring at a rate of one per week if left alone entirely, though clever wielders may discover that slashing a garment to shreds with the blade adds it to the hilt.

Swordtember Day 4 - Dragonslayer Sacrifice This sword was as tribute with tribute alongside the yearly offering to a great red dragon. It appears a very pretty toy, a short sword with blunted blade and gold trimmings. However, when left within the presence of a great horde, it begins to slowly poison every piece of treasure within it. Ideally, this will weaken and finally kill a dragon, though canny ones choose to completely abandon their horde, leaving them more vulnerable to those who seek to destroy them.

Swordtember Day 5 - Spymaster Than A fountain pen of no real note on the outside, appearing a simple, dark metal casing on the outside, filled with fine ink, and capable of being refilled. Pulling the well free however unsheathes a keen jian, with a blade just as dark as its secretive scabbard. Two other enchantments lay within Than, while it is sheathed, it grants a bonus to any forgery attempts made by one holding it. While it is unsheathed the pommel mimics the seal of up to eight separate emblems it has been touched to.

Swordtember Day 6 - Knight Errant

Journeyman's Friend A sturdy looking broadsword in a simple leather scabbard, these blades are frequently gifted to those traveling out into the world for the first time. The base of the hilt, unlike everything else, is elaborately carved, featuring a friendly looking face, with swirling beard and hair making up the guard. The sword can either be used to cast three times per day, from a selection of mending, detect poison, read weather, and light, or one cast of tiny hut. Upon the last spell being cast, the face's eyes close, and the wielder will hear a tired voice address them. "I'm tired, time to turn in."

Swordtember Day 7 - Oracle

Thread Cutter A falcata with a spider weaving a single strand of silver thread on the hilt, and a swirling mass of hands along the grip. The blade itself is concerningly easy to polish to a mirror shine, and the edge remains sharp. Those looking into the blade when it is polished such must make a will save or see a glimpse of an upcoming event. Unable to speak of it, but granted a chance to change it, they are entranced by the blade for 1d6 rounds. Those who succeed the save have the sensation of having walked through a spider's web for the next five minutes, and are unaffected by the enchantment for the next 24 hours.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

10 Best South Park Episodes

This is my own personal opinion, and not in any ranked order. Multiple part episodes, such as the “Black Friday Trilogy” will be counted as one entry. Keep in mind that as of making this post, there are over 300 episodes, with so many of them being good episodes, so it ain’t easy to narrow it down to ten!

1. Make Love, Not Warcraft - South Park and machinima. What can I say? The episode mostly takes place within the immersive world of Warcraft, as the boys band together to stop a high-level griefer from going around killing everyone in the World, of Warcraft. To do this, they must log every hour of every day killing boars to a montage of Paul Stanley’s “Live to Win,” becoming morbidly obese in the process. Also, Blizzard actually contributed to the machinima animation style in this episode.

2. Good Times With Weapons - This one also switches between two animation styles. The boys get Japanese weapons from the county fair, and occasionally, when playing with their weapons, the animation changes from the crude South Park animation to anime style animation. The boys learn the hard way that their weapons are dangerous when Kenny throws a shuriken star at Butters’s eye. In the end, only Cartman gets in trouble for walking across the auction stage naked, blaming a “wardrobe malfunction,” mirroring the real life infamous Janet Jackson Super Bowl Halftime Show. Also, “Let’s Fighting Love” just might be the best anime theme song ever!

3. Guitar Queer-O - Ah, Guitar Hero. Remember the height of its popularity in the mid-to-late 2000’s? It was only a matter of time before South Park decided to make an episode about that. Stan and Kyle become overnight sensations after reaching 100,000 points in Guitar Hero, and try to reach 1,000,000 points. They do that in the end, but the results are, well, let’s just say disappointing. Also, Randy trying to play is phenomenal! He can play the real guitar, but apparently, real guitars are for old people. Gee, thanks. Also, I’ve reached 100,000 points all the time, and I’ve never never once been invited to a coke and sex party for it…

4. Scott Tenorman Must Die - Probably the darkest episode in South Park history. Cartman must deal with a bully who sold him his pubes. His scheme takes a dark and twisted turn, when Cartman has Scott’s parents killed, and then grinds up their corpses and makes them into chili, and feeds that chili to Scott, thus making him cry fright in front of his favorite band, Radiohead. This episode cements Cartman’s status as not some spoiled little brat, but a downright psychopath. Lesson of the episode, never piss off Cartman again.

5. Goobacks - “THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!!” This episode sees time travelers showing up from 2,000 in the future to have better lives in the past, working various jobs for only a small fraction of what the jobs are worth, putting several workers out of a job. This introduces Darrel, the redneck who’s always shouting the aforementioned line with several others repeating his words. This gets repeated in the season 21 premiere “White People Renovating Houses,” pretty much the only thing I find remotely enjoyable in an otherwise mediocre episode.

6. Imaginationland (Episode I-III) - What do you think of when you think of epic trilogies? Star Wars? Lord of the Rings? How about Imaginationland? This was originally conceived by Matt and Trey as a standalone sequel to 1999’s “Bigger, Longer, and Uncut,” but instead was released as a three episode trilogy, but was later released as a 67 minute DVD with a few added scenes. There are quite a few characters from many movies, TV series, etc. basically, if it’s ever been imagined, it exists in Imaginationland. Unfortunately, it also includes the many evil characters that have ever existed, including the Woodland Critters, and ManBearPig (long before ManBearPig was actually proven to be real). Let’s not forget the subplot of Kyle losing a bet to Cartman and having to suck the latter’s balls.

7. Black Friday Trilogy (Black Friday, A Song Of Ass And Fire, Titties And Dragons) - The 2013 console war turned into, well, a literal console war a la Game of Thrones. The boys and their friends all choose sides on whether to get the the Xbox One or the PS4. Cartman is the master manipulator/backstabber, Kenny is a Japanese princess, and Bill Gates fights Sony’s then President to the death at the Red Robin Wedding. All for the boys to get the new console before everyone else beats them to it. Oh, and Randy takes a job as head of security, just to get the Black Friday sales before everyone else does. The consumers are White Walkers, and George R. R. Martin has an apparent obsession with penises.

8. The Losing Edge - The boys REALLY don’t want to spend all summer playing baseball, so they will do what it takes to lose games. Unfortunately, the other teams are better at sucking, this making the boys win EVERY GAME. All they want to do is play video games! But my favorite part of this episode is the subplot involving Randy getting drunk and starting fights with other baseball dads. And getting arrested after every South Park victory. Oh, I’m sorry! I thought this was America! His fight with Batdad goes about as well as expected. I didn’t hear no bell!

9. Chef Aid - This is an OLD episode! Chef loses a copyright infringement lawsuit after one of his songs was covered without his permission and must raise $2 million or face four years jail time. The boys put together a stage, and many guest celebrities, voiced by themselves, all put together a benefit concert helping their old friend, including Elton John, Rancid, Primus, and even Ozzy Osbourne, the latter of which bites Kenny’s head off like a bat!

10. Up The Down Steroid - Jimmy Valmer and Timmy Burch prepare for the upcoming Special Olympics. Unfortunately, Jimmy ends up taking anabolic steroids upon the suggestion of Nathan, who makes his debut in this episode. Cartman hears of this, and that the winner gets a $1,000 cash prize, so of course he pretends to be developmentally disabled to compete. Of course, since he’s out of shape and hasn’t trained, he places dead last in every event.

[theanimeview]

Kumoricon Review (Attending), Part 1

By: Peggy Sue Wood | @pswediting

Hi, Everyone! This month has been one of my busiest so far, and part of that is due to my traveling from Southern California to Oregon for fun and academic/professional purposes.

I've split this into two reviews, the first being strictly for attending the convention and the second for paneling. I did this because I felt like both were distinctive experiences in their own way and kind of long, so please bear with me.

Costs:

First things first, it is hard to beat a $80 weekend price tag for a convention of this size. Going from Day 1-3, then it totals at about $27 a day for entry. Though if you are looking at just a 1-Day ticket, the price is closer to about $50 (depending on the day), but even that feels well priced given how much there is to do once you reach the convention. For example, there is a gaming hall, cosplay events, programs/panels, and vendors in addition to multiple places to grab food. I was actually surprised and happy to find that a good amount of space was allocated for attendees to rest and interact, too, though that is expected for most medium-sized conventions like this one.

Overall, I found Kumoricon to be well worth the travel and stay costs. Now, I ended up in a room at the Hyatt Regency, which hosted some rooms for the convention due to knowing people working for Kumoricon, so my experience is different. For example, my room was at a discount because of who I was rooming with, but even talking with other attendees that stayed at close but cheaper hotels seemed to conclusively be content and describe that they felt like it was worth the stay/travel costs.

Safety:

Portland, at least near the convention center, felt safe to me. Regularly, I found myself walking back and forth between the hotel and convention center at early and late hours with little fear of my surroundings. Admittedly, I used to live in Portland, so my familiarity may have contributed to that feeling, but I saw many other convention goers doing the same, often alone too, so I'm going to assume that my experience was not exactly singular for this one.

I know that there were a few incidents at and around the convention, which are to be expected with any convention of this size. I think the most common were with mask mandates being enforced at the convention and Covid checks that not everyone was ready for despite warnings on the website and email notifications prior. However, for a convention of this size, I was shocked at how safe I felt and how easy it was to navigate the space.

I've been to many conventions before and often feel like I criticize the high attendance rates while not highlighting enough how often this plays into more significant problems like uncomfortable, accidental touching or accessibility issues for attendees. Seeing how the inside space was so well-managed for this convention really showed me how much more many smaller conventions close to me in LA County could be doing to remove these issues.

I did hear that the lines outside for Covid checking were long and hazardous because of the cold weather, but I think that this is something they were actively working on and could have addressed better had they had a larger staff. The issue of staffing seemed to be a major component to the convention's problems and something that people were complaining about regularly.

As a note on this, and in support of my thoughts throughout the convention, the board for the convention at the "Rant & Rave" program hosted at the end of the convention addressed that they had a much smaller staff than usual due to people dropping last minute and other changes, which they felt contributed to some of the issues that happened this year.

I never really encountered the issue, so I can't speak much more on it–but for future attendees who mostly complained about the lines: I highly recommend coming early in the morning to get in. I often arrived at the doors when they opened up (7:30-8:30 AM) and rarely encountered any line. I also came on Day 0 to get my badge, so it wasn't that bad of a wait. Waiting to eat even a half hour before or after noon for lunch can also save a lot of time on waiting in lines. I understand that this may not be feasible for some, but for those that can, I recommend that you do to make it easier on yourself.

Unlike many Southern California conventions, programming did not go too late at night, which I appreciate. Most people were out of the building by 9 PM each night, and definitely by midnight, people were gone since panels and events would close (plus security would tell people it was done for the night). The overall environment just felt very safe and comfortable. I appreciated that the convention center was also never too cold or too hot, as it often feels like the AC is on blast when I attend conventions in California.

Attendee Experience:

Registration, as usual, had long lines but did move quickly if you were in general registration. Anyone with a special pass (VIP, ADA, Panelist, etc.) was definitely in a shorter line, but one that barely moved during the whole convention. Likely due to wifi issues, which I will touch on later.

Beyond registration, I can't say I was ecstatic about many of the panels and programming. I'm not much of a cosplayer or crafter anymore, and it felt like most of the panels played towards those interests, but from what I was seeing, many of the attendees were overall happy with the panel experiences. There were also a lot of options for those kinds of panels, along with anime viewings and previews. I certainly was happy with the few that I attended, but my interests are more academic, so I admit that I really only attended about a handful of the over course of the three days.

The best part of the convention, for me, was the Vendors Hall and Artist Alley. I'll be honest–I mostly attend conventions for merchandise, education, and friend meet-ups (in that order of priority for me). I rarely go to the game centers, cosplay group meet-ups, or sit-down meals during convention time because I love shopping for my semi-obscure favorites. (Y'all can just ignore me shuffling around convention centers as I seek out a potentially nonexistent official Inga Bear Plush from Un-Go or another Nyanko-sensei from Natsume Yuujinchou to add to my collection.)

The Vendors Hall for this convention was awesome. As a mid-tier, still on the small side, convention, they were able to have Artist Alley in the same space as the Venders, which meant shopping could be done mostly in one space. Everything was nicely spaced out, too, so that there weren't a lot of accessibility issues (at least not from what I could see).

I would add that though the spacing was nice, I didn't like the layout. I actually found many of the rows to be confusing because there was no clear signage for where one newly lettered row/column began and where another ended.

The space was in a sort of cubic C of V, meaning they could have better-defined neat rows and columns without trouble. What likely prevented this was the added spaces for people to sit and eat, among a few other oddly placed events (like meet-and-greets/autographing) being in the same room, those kinds of things became impossible, or maybe there was some other behind-the-scenes issue with planning space usage? I am not sure.

I think that, ultimately, a bit more clear separation between these areas (seating for food, autographing, and shopping) would have really benefited the space and benefited attendees. It would have made finding the people I wanted to revisit easier, but this was not a major issue.

One of the things I really enjoyed about the convention is that I felt like many of the vendors were consistently priced. There was not a lot of undercutting or overpricing, in my opinion. Definitely costly; for example, larger/medium-sized plushies were on the $50 to $80+ side, with most of the smaller plushies at $20-$25. Interestingly though, the typical $20 shirt price seemed a bit less (closer to $15), which was nice.

Artist Alley also felt a little pricy, but ultimately worth it and fair. I always like to look comparatively at the official merch costs vs. fan-art costs. The two, in my opinion, should be relatively the same in price at conventions. So, if most of the vendors had $15-$20 tags on things like keychains, Artist Alley creators deserve a matching rate. Of course, for more elaborate or higher quality things, the cost goes up, just like with anything else.

I spent a lot at this convention–way more than I ever thought I would. I found two creators that happened to be selling for my current favorite series (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint) and basically went back every day to buy the same merchandise again... and again... and then made an online purchase from one of the creators... Ultimately it led me to be a very happy camper with a very sad wallet, but I never crossed my budget, which was nice.

Back to programming for a moment: it would have been good if an announcement or notice on the website/socials/app had gone out that the most accurate place to look for programs and hours is the app rather than the paper handout distributed with registration/picking up your ticket.

I'm sure there was some sort of a notice, but I don't think that was clearly communicated enough (like, put it on the homepage or something). I say this because I had a discussion with a few attendees who had never downloaded the app and had asked multiple people where events had been moved to since the paper program wasn't accurate as the day progressed.

The convention center did have wifi, by the way, but it didn't work throughout the convention. The processing was just too slow for the number of people on it–both the free-to-guests wifi and the wifi that vendors were using to try and process card payments. Even the computers at registration trying to handle badge pick-up/purchasing seemed to have trouble, likely also due to the wifi issues. This is less of a convention criticism and more one toward the convention center as, at this point, there isn't much of a reason a convention center of that size has problems accommodating the number of visitors there. I have been too much larger and smaller convention spaces with way more people that still had enough wifi for a YouTube video on my phone or a call home (though not necessarily enough for a FaceTime or Netflix movie).

It was a really strange experience for part of the convention because of the dropped signal. I basically entered dead zones throughout the space wherein texts wouldn't come in or out, not to mention phone calls.

Conclusion:

Overall, it was a fantastic convention. Frankly, probably one of the best experiences I've had in years. I would much rather attend a smaller or mid-tier convention like this moving forward than attend bigger ones like Anime Expo, if only because it felt more manageable and relaxing as an attendee than anything else.

I like to enjoy conventions, and so often, I feel like I haven't been able to just soak in the fun of the experience. All of the problems I've described here are small (in my opinion) and seem to stem from a need for more volunteers/employees or from the convention space needing to step up a bit more.

With how over-taxed the employees/volunteers seemed, I'm not surprised a few things slipped through. Frankly, I prefer that we miss those small things, like reminders about the app being the priority for schedule checking, if it means that the bigger things, like the app being updated consistently and clearly, get handled in an appropriate and timely manner.

10+/10 Would Recommend!

I plan to attend again next year, and I plan to submit again. This was an incredible experience that reminded me why I love and want to attend conventions in the first place, which I seemed to have somewhat forgotten as conventions have tied into my work/professional interests.

So, thank you for such a great weekend, Kumoricon!

[melis-writes]

My Way Home is Through You [Francis Lionel Delbuchi x Reader Oneshot].

Read on AO3 / My Fanfic Masterlist / Fic & Prompt Requests Info /

18+ fluff and smut read.

“If this is any indicator for how our future is going to go, then I want it." / "I learned how and when to let go of things I loved even that much."

Pittsburgh, 1973. Never would it have occurred to you that you'd meet the now love of your life–Francis Lionel Delbuchi–out of pure chance at work. Bringing a new sense of vibrancy and light to your life, you get to know the ex-sailor and new carwash co-owner, and can't help but find yourself falling in love with Lion and the world around you all over again. As you come to learn more about the man whose all smiles, his intentions pure and his behavior always joyful, your relationship blossoms further and the two of you are unable to stop seeing each other. This is your story of how you met your boyfriend Lion, and where the two of you would take one another and your relationship after years of loneliness, and with Lion wanting to give love a chance with you and you only.

[WARNINGS]: Heavy fluff / miscarriage mention / lovemaking smut.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE]: My very first Scarecrow fic is finally here!! 🤗❤ A loving, fluff filled, romantic oneshot of Francis Lionel Delbuchi x Reader! 😍 This is first of two more oneshots continuing on your love story with Lion and dedicated to my lovely mutual @rosesloveletters who not only inspired me to write, but to me is always Mrs. Delbuchi. 🥰🙏🏻 I love the film and love Lion so much and just he knew deserves to be in a romantic, fun and loving oneshot that the reader gets to experience with him. 🥺🤞🏻 It's worth mentioning in this fic the AU is that six months have passed since Lion and Max opened up their carwash business in Pittsburgh (they reside there as well), and that this fic continues after all the canon events of the actual film. The only difference is that Annie (Lion's ex-wife) actually had a miscarriage, and Lion wasn't beaten by Riley. I can't wait to hear everyone's feedback on it!! Enjoy! ✨

June, 1973, Pittsburgh.

You met your now-husband Francis Lionel Delbuchi on a day that would otherwise be just a normal routine for you. 

It was just past the three-year mark that you’d been working as a waitress at Sunrise Diner since you moved to Pittsburgh. 

Before you met Francis there,the guests and families you were used to seeing and serving consisted of just about everyone except kids since the 24/7 open diner also meant an open bar too.

Most of the those who came to eat at Sunrise Diner were those working in the city, but the occasional handful of tourists, sometimes whole families, and lone stragglers but Sunrise Diner has always done very well, serving homemade comfort food and the most variety of alcohol you’d find at a diner, to begin with.

As a waitress, you make $3.60 an hour, and other than taking orders, bringing out food and drinks, and taking payment, your duties also include cleaning up tables and any other housekeeping chores that may be needed to lend a helping hand around the diner.

Working at a diner wasn’t exactly your end goal since you moved to Pittsburgh in hopes to attend university, but once you arrived and fully settled into your new apartment, you found yourself deciding to continue saving up.

Maybe you’ll travel first and enjoy yourself a little before really sitting down to figure out what you want to do—no rush included. 

It’s also convenient for you to live just ten minutes away from the diner from the cozy sublet you rent.

Work has otherwise always been a breeze almost exclusively due to your coworkers; for once compared to the other jobs you’ve had in the past, your coworkers are like family in the sense they’re compassionate, selfless, and easy to get along with; not to mention that Sunrise Diner is a family-owned business after all.

Your family lives back in Detroit where you were born and raised—pretty much lived in your entire life, so being able to work for six to eight hours a day amongst folks you’d also call your second family with good pay has always had you grateful.

Working just like you would any other day, this Saturday afternoon is a rare one to go by so slow, so you preoccupy yourself by polishing some shot glasses by the bar.

The little bell on the front door of the diner chimes, signaling new guests have entered but you usually don’t raise your gaze until you can sense they’re either walking directly towards the bar to day drink or they find themselves at an empty table and are ready to order.

Of course, when a loud, rambling drunk guest comes in or someone whose clearly there to make trouble, that’s a different story, but this time you can’t help but look up out of boredom from your shift.

Across from you are two gentlemen; one in his mid-twenties and the other in his late thirties from what you can tell.

The younger man is dressed in a lightly knitted, navy sweater pulled over the top of an otherwise wrinkled-looking blue dress shirt. He wears flared, brown corduroy jeans and black and white sneakers with a black beanie over his tousled hair.

The older man next to him wears a brown beret, a matching wool overcoat, and at least three more layers of multi-colored clothes from what you can tell over a pair of black trousers.

From what you can tell just by observing the new guests for a few seconds, the two men look to be good friends with one another.

Just as they’ve entered, Lion and Max were still laughing through a joke Max cracked on their way to the diner about how hungry he’s been—grinning and chuckling as they push through the doors.

The diner today is in normal capacity with average guests otherwise, just making small talk and enjoying their meals amidst Lion and Max basically being a breath of fresh air and not so dull and quiet.

“Hey, how about this one?” Max points to an empty table by the window to your right. “Not too far from the bar and I can finally avoid the sun’s damn rays. I know I’ll need a drink in just a second.”

“Yeah, that looks like a good spot.” Lion agrees with him, following Max and sitting down across from him at the empty table.

Noticing the new customers sitting down and getting ready to order, you set down the shot glasses you’re polishing back underneath the bar counter.

You pick up two menus next to the shot glass stack and walk out from behind the bar and over to the two gentlemen’s table, approaching them with a warm smile. “Hi, welcome to Sunrise Diner.”

“Hello,” Max says back to you politely as you set a menu in front of him and Lion at the same time.

“Hi.” Francis greets you with a smile. 

You reach into your apron, pulling out your notepad and a shortened pencil. “My name’s Rose and I’ll be your waitress today. Can I get you gentlemen started off with some drinks?”

“Yes, please.” Max lets out a drawn-out sigh, leaning back in his seat. “Let me get the best beer you guys got.”

“Me too, with a glass of water, please.” Lion orders as well.

“Absolutely.” You nod, jotting both of their drink orders down as Lion and Max redirect their attention back to their menus at hand.

You slip your notepad back into the pocket of your apron, returning over to the bar, and pulling open the minibar fridge. 

You take out two cans of the best-selling beer the diner has and set them down next to an empty tray on the bar counter. You take three tall glasses from the side of the shot glasses, emptying the beer into them before disposing of the cans in the recycling bin and filling the third glass with ice cold water—adding a few cubes of ice.

With two glasses of beer and one of the water ordered, you set them over the tray at hand before returning back to Max and Lion’s table.

You notice Max has put down his menu and is ready to order already, but Lion continues to take a closer look.

“Here you are, two beers and a glass of water.” You set down a glass of beer in front of Max then Lion’s beer with his water—catching his attention.

“Thank you.” Francis beams up at you from his menu, causing you to blush a little.

“You’re welcome.” You smile back shyly, holding the empty tray between your arm as you grab your notepad and pencil out again.

“Alright, I’m ready to order.” Max pats his hand over his closed menu, “Lion’s gonna take a little while longer if that’s alright.”

‘Lion?’ 

“Hope you don’t mind.” Francis’ eyes still haven’t left yours.

“Not at all, please take your time. We have a lot to choose from.” You reassure him, gesturing down to the menus.

“In that case,” Max clears his throat. “I’ll have the steak and eggs with a side of bacon, please.”

“Oh—hold on.” Lion chimes in before setting his menu down. “I think I’ll just have a slice of shepherd’s pie, please.”

“Sure, of course.” You write down both the order for steak and eggs with bacon and Lion’s order of shepherd’s pie. 

“Here…” Francis takes Max’s menu, stacking it on top of his neatly before handing them up to you.

“Thank you.” You beam, taking the menu as you put your notepad and pencil back into your apron, balancing it overtop of the empty tray. “The food should be ready in about ten minutes.”

Max and Lion both thank you as you walk off with the menus and drink tray, setting them at the back of the bar counter before tearing off the sheet in your notepad with their order.

You make your way to the back of the diner and into the kitchen, sliding the note over to the cook with a smile. “New order.”

“Comin’ right up.” The cook calls out, taking the piece of paper.

You check the watch over your arm, noting the time as you turn back on your heel and head back towards the bar while the food cooks. 

‘Other than these two coming in today, it’s been kinda slow.’ Then again, you’ve always liked it this way.

You sigh softly in relief as you lean your back against the bar counter, listening to the faint sound of slow country music playing over the nearby jukebox. 

Although you’d normally be doing something else by now to keep yourself preoccupied or just remain distracted in general, you can’t help but peek back over to your new table and specifically at Lion.

‘Lion, huh? Must be a nickname.’ You find him attractive without a doubt, cute even with his politeness adding to it. 

You don’t even know him or the gentlemen eating with him, to begin with, but even with such a basic interaction as taking their orders, you can already tell Francis and Max are a world apart from each other in personality and behavioral differences.

‘He’s definitely cute.’ You finally force your eyes off of Lion whose busy in a conversation with Max, noticing Max is chugging down his glass of beer as if he’s in a rush.

It’s a common sight you’ve seen before regardless of the time of day and there are no strict rules against guests wishing to get drunk in the afternoon either—not with the alcohol sold this cheap at Sunrise Diner.

“Ahhhh, that’s more like it.” Max wipes the foam of the beer off his mouth with the back of his hand before setting his empty glass down. “And you’re still taking baby sips.”

“I’m not in a rush,” Lion shrugs his shoulders, taking a small sip of his beer and then his water.

“Hey,” Max leans into the table, lowering his voice. “Then would it be rude if I bothered the waitress for another glass of beer just now?”

Francis raises a brow, looking at Max as if he’s just been offended. “But she just served you your drink.”

“I know, I know.” Max nudges his empty glass aside, growing impatient. “It was damn good too but I’m not going to bed sober tonight.”

“Maybe you should have been over at the bar.” Lion points towards the bar which you mistaken for you—making you blush furiously and immediately look towards the kitchen instead. 

“After dinner, I sure will.” Max pats his chest, letting out a burp. “And you?”

“Nah.” Lion shakes his head, staring at his beer. “If the beer is as good as you say, I’ll be fine with just this.”

“Suit yourself.” Max stretches out his arms before looking at Lion with expectancy. “Are ya gonna call that pretty waitress over here or keep eyeing me?”

“Don’t bother her, Max.” Lion sighs, beginning to rise from his seat. “I’ll go ask her instead.”

Little do Lion or Max know you’ve heard the majority of their conversation over by the bar just from how loudly they’ve been talking, but you remain inconspicuous by smoothening out your apron, pretending to be interested in the shot glasses under the bar table and checking your manicure right up until Lion walks up to you.

“Hi again.” Lion peeks up at you, careful not to put his hands on the bar counter he saw you wipe down earlier. 

“Hi.” You blush, noticing Lion’s beaming smile towards you.

“Sorry to bother ya again but,” Lion gestures back towards Max with his thumb. “My buddy over there chugged his beer down in about thirty seconds if you didn’t notice.”

“I almost wish I hadn’t,” you joke as the both of you laugh. “Yeah, no worries at all. Refills are always on the house. I’m happy to serve.” You lean back off the counter, popping open the fridge and grabbing a beer before handing it to Lion.

“Thank you.” Lion takes the beer from you, “I don’t want ya walking back and forth with a dozen more beers if you can help it.”

“That’s thoughtful, thank you.” You blush again. “How about we do a full bar service at the table so you can enjoy your meal and your friend can enjoy his drinks without a hassle?”

“Please.” Lion’s eyes light up. “If that won’t be too much trouble, of course.”

“Not at all.” You shake your head. “Just let me know.”

Lion mouths an ‘okay’, growing ecstatic before he returns back to his table with Max. “There ya go. Take it easy with this one, eh Max?”

Lion slides the can of beer across the table to Max who’s quick to open it up and pour it all into his glass—grinning at the frothy liquid. “Don’t count on it.”

“See,” Max looks back up at Lion as he pulls his glass of beer over to himself. “You gotta thank me.”

“Why’s that?” Lion takes his seat, getting comfortable.

“I got you to talk to the waitress at last, didn’t I?” Max takes a sip of his beer, savoring the taste on his tongue. “Wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t get me another beer.”

“You’re funny.” Lion remarks, “I don’t want us to bother her.”

“Maybe you should if you know what I mean,” Max suggests, resting his arm on the table. 

Ding! Ding! You hear the bell ring in the kitchen, signaling that Lion and Max’s orders are ready to be served.

Having not heard the continuation of their conversation from how loud the banter has grown in the diner closest to you, you grab your serving tray and head back to the kitchen.

You carefully place Max’s order of steak and eggs with bacon next to the plate of Lion’s slice of shepherd’s pie before walking back over to their table to serve it.

The scent of the delicious, hot-cooked meal reaches Lion and Max’s noses before they catch sight of you—not withholding back how obviously hungry the two men appear.

“One order of steak and eggs with a side of bacon,” you place Max’s plate in front of him before taking Lion’s, “and a slice of shepherd’s pie. There you go.” You put Lion’s plate before him as well. 

“Thanks.” Max eagerly picks up his fork, moving his glass of beer closer by his side.

“Thank you.” Lion thanks you again politely, this time with a warm smile and a more familiar tone. 

“You’re very welcome. Any bar service needed, gentlemen?” You pick up your tray, mostly directing your question towards Max.

“Mm, please.” Max holds up his hand. “Say… Uh, how about a round of tequila while I eat? Is that allowed?”

“Sure,” you chuckle, “not much that isn’t allowed here. And you?” You turn your head to face Lion.

“No, thank you.” Lion shakes his head and raises his glass of beer. “That'll be enough for me tonight.”

“You’re very welcome,” you say again to tease Lion a little from how polite he’s been to you since he and Max have arrived. 

Throughout the entirety of Lion and Max’s stay, you spend more time bringing over tequila shots, more beer, some vodka, half a glass of rum and any other alcohol Max can coherently speak out until you realize his orders are just going to get more insistent, so you bring a bottle instead.

The entire time while Max takes shots throughout his meal, Lion sips his beer and water quietly while digging into his shepherd’s pie—eating normally while Max is more than ready to get drunk for the night.

While you serve Lion and Max, a family of four also came in halfway through so you began to balance serving two tables and also cleaning up after leaving guests or those who needed some refills from time to time.

Of course, even if you didn’t want to listen in, you again couldn’t help but overhear Max and Lion’s regular conversation about a so-called carwash business they own.

“Good thing we ain’t open on weekends.” Max sighs loudly. 

“Yeah, but is it gonna be that way forever?” Lion asks.

“Forever?” Max hiccups, clearing his throat. “Might as well be. I don’t wanna see cars seven days a week, and the way we’re going now is fine.”

“Beats the sea any day for me.” Lion shrugs his shoulders, carefree. “Now I’m seasick permanently, on and off the water.”

‘They both work and own a carwash?’ 

“And you…” Lion eyes Max’s drunken state towards the end of their conversation. “Don’t seem sick of anything yet. Uh, you did bring enough to pay for all of this and the bar service, right Max?”

“Don’t worry.” Max burps, not bothering to cover his mouth. “Of course I did.”

“Alright.” Lion relaxes in his seat but keeps a cautious eye on a drunken Max. “Take it easy, man. Take it easy.”

Another five minutes barely pass before you turn your head back towards Lion and Max’s table, hearing the scraping of a chair against the floor signaling someone’s getting up.

Just as you look over, you see Max’s legs wobbling as he clears his throat as if to speak out or order something halfway across the room.

Instead, still trying to balance on shaky knees, Max clutches onto his beret with a groan and slumps to the fall—collapsing unconscious.

“Aww, man.” Lion whines, practically jumping out of his seat.

“Oh—is he alright?!” Alarmed, you quickly rush over to their table, but it’s your boss’ attention Lion and Max have pulled as well when he walks out of the kitchen appearing more than just annoyed at another drunkard passed out on his floor for the second time in a week.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s fine. Don’t worry.” Lion remains to be in a rather cheerful mood despite his friend remaining slumped on the floor. “He just had a loooot to drink from thanks to that great bar service of yours.”

“Believe me, I wish I could say no.” You can’t help but chuckle, hearing Max snoring. “But it is what it is.”

“Don’t ya worry.” Lion grins up at you. “Max is always like this. I was just surprised it didn’t happen earlier. That’s so like him.”

“Is it?” Your boss’ voice chimes in as he walks over to Lion and Max’s table with his arms crossed. “What exactly happened here now?”

“Oh, nothing sir.” Lion blinks, appearing a bit intimidated. “My buddy here just had too much to drink.”

“Clearly.” Your boss notes, staring at Max by his foot in disgust. “Hey, Stanley!” Your boss calls out towards the back entrance.

Minding your own business and just remaining there, Stanley—the rather burly, cowboy wannabee bouncer of Sunrise Diner enters the restaurant through the back door, searching for sight of your boss.

“We got another drunkard here, you see?” Your boss points down at Max, showing him to Stanley who in truth, couldn’t even harm a fly. “At least take him outside to rest under the tree or something before he ends up chokin’ on his own spit. Sun would do him good—it always does to these types.”

“That’s a good idea,” Lion agrees sheepishly.

You and Lion both step back, remaining side by side as Stanley picks up Max like he’s nothing but a dainty sack of flour. 

Carrying Max over his shoulder, Stanley walks back out the entrance he came from without another word as if he’s done this a million times already.

“Well?” Your boss eyes Lion, still ignoring you as he knows you’re not involved in the drunken shenanigans but rather just did your job. “Looks like your friend’s wallet seems empty and there’s still a tab to pay, my boy.”

“Empty?” Lion’s eyes widen. “Ah, no way. Max must have brought his wallet for sure.”

Just then, the back door opens again as Stanley pops his head out—holding up Max’s empty wallet. “Nothin’.”

“Seems your both out of luck.” Your boss grins.

“No worries, no worries.” Lion holds up his hands in surrender, “I can definitely pay for it. Here—” As Lion begins to search through his pockets, you can’t help but feel an immense sense of dread from the second-hand embarrassment of this whole ordeal.

Lion quite literally empties out his pockets, finding nothing but a quarter. ���Well… I can try to pay it off some other way with my body if that’s okay with you, sir.”

“Rose.” Your boss’s eyes flicker onto yours. “Whaddaya say? You served these gentlemen, right?”

“Yes, sir.” You answer.

“How do you think they should pay up if they don’t have the cash on them?” Your boss asks you.

“Well…” A smile begins to grow on your face as you look over at Lion. “We could always use some help in the back with the dishes. A second hand would definitely be helpful.”

“Yeah, of course.” Francis agrees enthusiastically. “I can do that.”

“Good.” Your boss’s timid expression relaxes. “That'll pay off the full debt for the table, including your friend’s orders who I doubt will be awake by the time Rose’s shift is done, but I leave it to her.”

“You sure you can manage two hours of dishwashing?” You tease Lion.

“Dishwashing?” Lion chuckles, “I wash cars for a living, that'll be a piece of cake.”

“Then be our guest.” Your boss gestures over to the kitchen. “Stanley and I will handle the rest of the tables.”

“Alright, come on—” You’re just about to lead Lion to the kitchen when your boss interrupts.

“Wait a minute.” Your boss holds up his hand, pointing to the empty plates on Lion and Max’s table. “Don’t forget these ones too, huh?”

You and Lion exchange looks with one another, grinning before you say, “don’t worry, we got it.”

With your boss returning back to his office space and Stanley watching over a very drunk and passed-out Max just outside, Lion and you walk back to his and Max’s table to pick up the two plates.

You both reach out to grab the same plate at the same time, causing your hands to bump into each other.

“Oh.” You and Francis both exclaim out at the same time through laughter. 

‘That day I never thought I’d met someone who was so easy going and fun even to make mundane mistakes with.’

“Alright, alright. One for me,” you take Max’s plate and glass, “and one for you,” you let Lion take his own.

“Gotcha.” Lion grins, stacking his glass of water and beer on top of his plate before following behind you over to the kitchen. “Love my first day on the hob, but am I balancing the cups and plates, or are they balancing me?”

“Good question, how about both?” You say back, walking into the kitchen with Lion.

You set your plates and cups down into one of the kitchen sinks next to Lion already filled with bubbling soap water. “Excuse the mess. It’s not much of a proper diner kitchen sink, but it’s got a feel of home to it.”

“Cleaner and cozier than any kitchen I’ve seen recently.” Lion comments, carefully putting his dishes into the second sink next to you before rolling up his sleeves. “Especially on a ship.”

“A ship?” You raise your brows, handing Lion a bottle of dish soap and a pair of new gloves. “Are you a sailor?”

“Ex-sailor.” Lion corrects, putting on his gloves as you do the same. “I used to love the sea as a kid, it carried on me with me to my adulthood and my work. I thought I’d never get enough of it, ya know? But oh boy.” Lion grabs a clean sponge from the counter next to him. “When you’re out there for weeks and weeks on end in a smelly ship with men who haven’t showered in weeks, reeking of piss and cigarettes, then catching dozens of octopus twice your size, you’d get sick of anything.”

“Fair enough,” you’re instantly fascinated with Lion, adjusting your gloves over your hands. “How long did you do that for?” 

“Too long.” Lion chuckles sheepishly. “Seven years. Just one of my odd jobs from boat to boat.” Lion begins to lather up the dish soap over his sponge. “My work always had something to do with the sea.”

“A love that lasted a long time, huh?” You ask, taking your dish soap and squeezing a good amount of the liquid over the center of the sponge.

“Oh, yeah.” Lion replies. “But I learned how and when to let go of things I loved even that much. Now I just have a bad habit of doing so spontaneously.”

“If you ask me, that’s the best way to do it.” You tell him. “That’s actually inspiring to me. I’ve never really understood the whole ‘do one job for the rest of your life and then die’ thing.”

“Right!” Lion exclaims, happily beginning to wash the dishes. “Especially when you come to realize it doesn’t make you happy, it just brings you a paycheque. Are you happy?”

“Am I happy?” Your eyes widen as you repeat the question. “Well, yeah, I’d say I’m happy.”

“Really?” Lion smiles at you. “I don’t know a lot of waitresses who would say that. That’s inspiring to me.”

You giggle, beginning to wash a plate. “Depends on who you ask then, doesn’t it? I know it’s different for everyone but I can only speak for myself.”

“And you’re happy.” Lion points out. 

“I am.” You blush, reaffirming. “I’ve been working here at Sunrise for about three years. My coworkers are like a second family to me; that’s the majority of the reason why I like it so much. It’s good, honest work. I don’t have any complaints, but…” You smile to yourself, shaking your head. “I mean, some customers could be more polite and not so judgemental, but that’s what happens when you work for people all the time.”

“Believe me, I know.” Lion agrees with you. “Octopus can’t judge you, though. Not really.” You both burst out laughing as Lion continues. “As soon as I began washing cars and meeting all these interesting rich people in their sports cars, I then realized how much I missed having an octopus smack me in the face.”

“Oh, you wash cars?” You pretend as if you haven’t been listening to Lion and Max’s entire conversation over lunch earlier today.

“Yeah.” Lion beams, very proud to admit so. “Me and my buddy Max own a carwash business called Maxy’s Carwash.”

“Your friend getting his well-needed rest over all that alcohol.” You chuckle.

“Yep,” Lion wipes his forehead with the back of his arm. “That’ll be Max, alright. He had the dream and the idea for our business and then that was it. We were both there, saying goodbye to our old lives.”

“Sounds like something right out of an adventure novel, huh?” You begin to rinse off the plate in your hand.

“Right, something like that.” Lion laughs softly, causing you to feel butterflies in the pit of your stomach. “So much hitchhiking and traveling that it might as well be. We’re here now for good though, in Pittsburgh.”

“You just opened up shop then?” You ask, curious to know more about these two.

“Mhm, about six months ago.” Lion answers. “So now we’re just steadily building a clientele list. Trying to get new customers in all the time but also repeat customers too.”

“So, then it must pay well.” You assume.

“Something like that.” Keeping a smile on his face, Lion continues washing his share of the dishes. “You should ask Max about that for sure. Before we even started, he had all of our finances planned out for years for the business. Just kinda funny to me now how he didn’t have any money to bring for his plan to day drink.”

“Maybe it was a blessing in disguise,” you hold back your laughter. “I have a car and it can definitely use a good wash at a reputable place.”

“Then come on over to Maxy’s Carwash.” Lion beams at you. “Your car will leave looking brand new.”

“I actually will come on by.” You tell him. “I’ll say this kind gentleman named…”

“Francis.” Lion says, surprising you a little after you’ve been hearing the nickname ‘Lion’ all day being used to refer to him. “Francis Lionel Delbuchi.”

“Wow.” You feel the blush double in your cheeks. “Francis Lionel Delbuchi…”

“When I told Max, he was just as surprised.” Lion grins, nodding. “He said he had a little trouble with it, so he nicknamed me ‘Lion’. Kind catchy, huh?”

“Lion,” you repeat, blushing again as you make eye contact with him. 

“I love it,” Francis tells you. “You can call me either or. Now that’s a pretty name. Pretty name, pretty girl, pretty neat place ya got here.” Lion gestures around the kitchen with his soap-covered gloves. 

“Thank you,” you wonder to yourself if Lion can already tell how obvious it is you’re blushing. “Having fun here, I see.”

“With the dishes?” Lion looks back into the sink, reaching his hands in before gasping loudly.

“What is it?” Your eyes widen.

“Oh no.” Lion murmurs, “oh no, no, no!” He attempts to yank his finger out to no avail, grunting. “A little sink goblin’s got my finger!”

“A little what?!” You laugh as Lion pulls his hands back out, causing bubbles to fly everywhere around the two of you from the sink. “Oh, you’re ridiculous!”

“Works every time!” Lion grins up at the bubbles surrounding him.

‘This was someone I had fun with doing what’s otherwise a chore I rush through because I can’t stand it, to begin with. Who would have thought I’d ever have fun washing the dishes with somebody and laughing that hard too?’

It was then and there with you and Lion washing dishes in the back of that Lion struck a realization inside of you that you’d never seen from other men before; liveliness and thoughtfulness. 

Of course, it hadn’t meant you gave up on men in Pittsburgh in general, but Lion had a vibrancy to him like none other that you didn’t see from other people. 

Whether Lion’s aware of it or not, he makes other lights up around him with his carefree and lighthearted nature, except Max (he’d have to work harder on that).

Lion’s presence is comforting even if the two of you just met and don’t know one another all that well. That’s why it felt almost ethereal washing dishes with him, like a different experience altogether.

You’d been so used to seeing your friends obsessed with the whole ‘bad boy’ on a motorcycle cliché and turned down one too many hookups yourself out of just not being interested in a drink and a quick fuck from time to time.

If anything, Lion feels like a breath of fresh air, but the question you can’t stop asking yourself now is: why does a stranger I just properly met make my heart race like this?

‘I have to know more about him. I have to get to know this man.’

Once the dishes were all thoroughly washed, dried, and put away, there’s no need to confirm it with your boss as your shift has come to an end.

You and Francis throw off your gloves and walk out of the kitchen together, still in the midst of a conversation like you’ve been talking together forever.

Lion can probably talk to you about paint drying at this point and you just know you’d listen to him and that soothing, smooth voice of his go on all day. 

Lion’s tone of voice, his mannerisms, and the way he speaks out, in general, can’t ever be mistaken for someone else’s, and you’re pretty sure you could easily discern it through writing too.

“Two hours of dishwashing for nothing on us, huh?” Francis puts both of his hands in his pockets as you walk out to the back of the diner with him.

“Not on a day like this.” You sigh in relief, giving him a warm smile. “Our regular dishwasher has called in sick for the past week—down with a bad cold.”

“Ah.” Lion nods understandingly. “I hope they get well soon.”

“I hope your buddy Max does as well.” You giggle, pointing over to Max still snoring loudly underneath an oak tree next to Stanley who smokes a cigarette. 

“Oh well.” Lion snorts, “let him sleep it off. Max’s gonna freak out when he wakes up anyways.”

“You gonna hang around, kid?” Stanley asks Lion.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind me talking to your pretty waitress.” Lion replies, his gaze darting back to you.

“I’m off work now, so absolutely and nobody can say a thing.” Blushing, you gesture for Lion to follow you. “Come on, we won’t bother Max if we sit on the other side of the tree here.”

You and Lion cozy up on a soft patch of grass on the other side of the oak tree, sitting side by side with one another and enjoying the shade under the branches. 

“So,” Lion looks up at you with hope in his eyes. “Will you come and visit me at the carwash?”

‘He wants to see me again.’ You force yourself not to make it look obvious you’re flustered and beginning to crush on this man already.

“I’d love to see you again ya know, even if you just come by to wash your car or for a chat.” Lion continues as you can swear to yourself your heart just skipped a beat.

“Of course, I’m off work tomorrow so I can definitely come by.” You assure, “does Maxy’s Carwash happen to be open tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” a half-truth on Lion’s behalf just to see you again because he knows he’s going to be working on maintenance this Saturday while Max might just pop in to see how everything’s going every now and then.

“Good thing we ain’t open on weekends.”

“Promise?” Lion looks at you expectantly.

“Of course.” You force your eyes off of Lion’s for the sake of not appearing as flustered to him as you really are here. “Here…” You reach into the pocket of your apron to grab your notepad and pencil again, scribbling down your phone number and ripping off the sheet to hand it to Lion. “There’s my number. You can call me too.”

“I will, then.” Francis takes the note, carefully folding it before putting it in the pocket of his jeans. “That’s a promise.”

Just as your eyes meet with Lion’s, before the two of you can say anything further, your heads turn to see Max stirring loudly from his sleep.

Max coughs, wiping the drool off the corner of his mouth before clutching his chest and jolting up from the ground. “Lion!”

“I’m right here, you bellyaching rhinoceros!” Francis shouts back, laughing with you.

“What the hell happened?” Max clutches his beret over his head for dear life.

“You drank a lot and didn’t bring any money.” Lion states, “pretty simple.”

“And you…?” Max stares at Francis and you in utter confusion.

“No worries.” Lion shrugs his shoulders loosely. “Me and the pretty waitress are spending some time together.” It’s then and there that Lion places his hand over top of yours that was just resting on your thigh. 

That’s when you realize: ‘oh no.’ 

Nothing was supposed to happen, was it? At least not like this, not too soon, and not with Lion of all people. 

There’d be less panic in your heart if you could comprehend the rush of feelings flowing through you with Lion’s gentle touch—practically a gesture meaning nothing, so was is all of this? What you’re feeling?

‘We just met.’ It feels inappropriate almost, too sudden, too soon, or perhaps you’re convincing yourself of it all to avoid letting your emotions consume you.

You’ve had boyfriends and romance in your life in the past, but feeling butterflies swarming inside of your stomach and driving you crazy over someone you just met is something else altogether.

Your eyes drop to Lion’s hand but not in such an obvious way that he’d notice and think he’s made you uncomfortable so he’d pull away since that’s the last thing you want him to do.

‘Great…’ You find yourself attracted even to the shape of Lion’s slender, large hands, but with the way your heart throbs in your chest, you’d think you’ve been crushing hard on Lion for weeks now.

Of course, you can’t deny your physical attraction to Lion either and you haven’t seen you first saw him enter the diner, but also seeing how gentle and sweet Lion’s been with you has you seeing stars.

Even the gentle touch of Lion’s hand over yours isn’t being too forward or even making you uncomfortable, but soft, inviting—like the warmth of the sun over your face after being out in cold weather for so long.

‘Why does this man make me feel this way?’ You can neither understand how your heart feels nor do you much want to at this moment.

All you hope to yourself now is: ‘I hope he calls me. I want him to, badly. I want to speak with him and see him again.’

You’ve already found yourself doing things you’d normally never even think of doing, such as staying back at work after you’ve clocked, as mundane as it may be to anyone else.

And when Max and Lion finally left, straggling over and repeating apologies all over, you suddenly felt a tinge of loneliness wash over you that was otherwise completely alien.

You set your apron off in the back, having spent an additional hour back at the diner just to be with Max and Lion until they finally left home.

Swallowing up your feelings, you grab your purse and sling it over your shoulder, thanking your nearby co-workers for a great shift as you always did before welcoming Margaret by the door, a middle-aged woman who’d be taking over as the waitress for the rest of the day.

Once you’re on your way to walk back home does the realization hit you that you’ve basically made plans with Lion and Max to see them again tomorrow, but you don’t know that Lion mentioned the same thing to Max on his way home too.

“Listen, I was planning to get drunk, but not that drunk.” Max points out, but even he’s not sure whether to remain stern about it or laugh instead.

“Not that drunk.” Lion repeats with a grin, keeping his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah,” Max reaffirms, “but damn did those drinks have a kick to ‘em.”

“Maybe you’re just a lightweight.” Lion jokes, laughing.

“Ah, come on.” Max nudges Lion with his elbow, chuckling. “Definitely not my first time having a heavy drink or two, ya know. Just for that reason, I’d go back there to eat in a heartbeat. Food’s delicious.”

“Yeah, next time bring the money to pay for your meal though.” Lion laughs harder, “otherwise that big cowboy will throw your ass back outside.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Max mutters to himself. “Guy smells like piss. I knew I must have slept like a damn baby but could smell the guy’s pits from a mile away. Did you seriously wash dishes for two hours to make up for all that food and drink?”

Max and Lion come to approach the lobby of their apartment, walking inside.

Since Max and Lion made the move to Pittsburgh, they’ve been renting a two-bedroom apartment and equally splitting the rent with each other.

It’s not the most luxurious apartment around, but it was renovated shortly before the two moved in, relatively clean and with enough cozy space to truly call it home.

Maxy’s Carwash can still be called relatively new by Max and Lion, so until both of them begin to pull in bigger paycheques, serve more customers or start getting serious about a lady friend, renting together saves an immense amount of money for the time being.

“Well, yeah.” Lion answers. “I did all of that with the pretty waitress.”

“Damn.” Max appears impressed, “next time I’ll keep it in mind if two hours of dishwashing pay for all that food.” 

“Don’t get any ideas, Max.” Lion snorts, standing in front of the elevator and pressing its button to call it down. “Next time, they’ll kick our asses for sure.”

“Nah, listen,” Max begins as the two get on the elevator. “I could have sworn I brought some money. I ain’t the swindling type to go in and do that sort of thing.”

“I’ll bring some money next time just in case, no matter how sure you are.” Lion presses the fifth-floor button, watching the elevator doors slide shut.

“Just in case,” Max repeats, rubbing over his stomach and burping as the elevator begins to go up. “Damn good food…”

“Ah well.” Lion steps out of the elevator first when it reaches the fifth floor, walking to their suite number #501. “Nothing like home sweet home now, huh?”

“You betcha.” Max sighs, unlocking the front door with his keys. “Both my ass and back are sore from sleeping on that damn hay.”

“As comfortable as it gets, Max.” Lion grins playfully at him, entering the apartment together and kicking off their shoes.

“Think you had it for the pretty waitress, you know.” Max throws off his hat, closing the door behind him and Lion. 

“Something like that.” Lion blushes a little, making sure to lock the door. 

“I mean, you spent two hours with her. Maybe more when I was snoozin’.” Max brings up the conversation of you again to Lion as he walks towards his bedroom. “There’s gotta be a whole other story you can tell me.”

“Nothing to say, Max.” Lion chuckles quietly. “I told her about our car wash.”

“Oh yeah?” Max speaks louder from his bedroom so Lion can hear. “She got a car or something? Otherwise, you’re just braggin’.”

“Yeah, considering she’s coming by tomorrow I’d say she has a car.” Lion plops down on the couch in front of the television, getting comfortable before taking the folded piece of paper with your phone number written on it out of his pocket.

“Tomorrow?” Max pops his head out into the hallway, unbuttoning the first layer of his clothes. 

 “We’re closed tomorrow.”

“We’re never closed, Max.” Lion takes off his beanie, running his hands through his unruly hair. “If we go back and forth to check things out every Saturday and Sunday, are we really closed? And besides, she could be a customer.”

“Ooh, smart.” Max points out. “Well, that’s alright with me then. A customer is a customer. That’s why you were talking her up back there, huh?”

“No, actually.” Lion makes eye contact with Max across the hall. “I was talking to her because I like her.”

“Oh.” Max raises his brows at Lion in disbelief. “So you like the waitress.”

“Yeah.” Lion feels his cheeks heating up with blush. “She was nice to me, sweet, not just washing dishes back there like any other chore. We talked too.”

“Hmm.” Max ponders, “yeah, you know this is good for you and all, especially after that witch of yours yappin’ about that baby being in limbo.”

A frown crosses over Lion’s face almost immediately. The topic of his miscarried son is still a bit of a touchy topic, but Lion understands what Max means and agrees with him too.

“Uh, sorry.” Max notices the look on Lion’s face, walking into the living room. “I don’t wanna talk about that if you don’t.”

“No, man, it’s fine.” Lion leans back on the couch, trying to relax. “It just didn’t come to mind for a while, you know? I forgot, like I was at sea again, or in the hospital.”

“Believe me, pal.” Max lets out a deep sigh, “a woman who isn’t right for you will make you feel like you’re holed up in a hospital your whole damn life. You’re twenty-seven. You’ve got better shit to do. There are girls out there, Lion, and damn, if you like this waitress, then keep seeing her. You think she got the hint from everything you talked about today?”

“I hope so.” Lion smiles shyly. “It was kind of obvious.”

“Sure was.” Max crosses his arms, leaning the side of his body against the wall. “I think she got it, alright. Just give it a go. Plenty of waitresses in this city.”

“Okay, Max.” Lion laughs softly, beginning to cheer up. “I’ll take your word for it,” he finds his eyes dropping back down to the note with your phone number in it in his hands.

~

[ 1 AM ]

Lion and Max have long been in bed before this hour of the night—both sleeping soundly right up until Lion begins to stir in his sleep from the disruptive noise coming just outside his bedroom window that looks down on the street.

Still drenched in sleep and barely half awake, Lion can make out faint hollering outside.

Occasionally having a drunkard roaming the area isn’t news to Lion and he’s usually been able to ignore it and sleep through it just by throwing another pillow on top of his head to block out the noise, but not tonight.

Lion groans softly, clasping his hand over his ear to no avail, still hearing shouting and the sounds of trashcans toppling over.

Practically wide awake, Lion squeezes his eyes back shut for a moment in hopes the noise will all come to an end momentarily, but the fuss outside only gets louder and more insistent.

Letting out a soft sigh, Lion blinks his eyes open to clear his vision—looking around his dimly lit bedroom before his eyes land over his nightstand and on the note with your phone number written on it.

Remaining still and quiet, Lion stares at the note from afar, knowing now that he’s wide awake he may as well call you—and he wants to instead of waiting until the morning—but of course, there’s the possibility you aren’t even awake at 1 AM.

‘Still worth a try.’ Lion kicks off his blankets, rising up from his bed and stretching his arms out before him.

Lion rises to his feet, adjusting his pajama slacks and taking the note off the nightstand, walking off to the living room.

As Lion steps out of his bedroom, he notices Max’s bedroom door down the hallway is shut and soft snoring can be heard; of course, no amount of clashing noises or alarms blaring can easily wake Max now trying to sleep off an inevitable hangover.

In the living room, Lion turns on the lamp nearest to the telephone as he comes to approach it. Lion picks up the telephone and holds it up to his ear, keeping his eye on the numbers you scrawled on the note and dialing them in.

You, on the other hand, aren’t asleep just yet and spending your Friday nights staying up late as you’ve always done in front of the television, enjoying a good film over cheese, crackers, and a little bit of red wine.

Completely absorbed in the exciting, thriller film you’re watching, you flinch when the telephone next to the couch begins ringing at this hour of the night.

“Geez,” you murmur to yourself, embarrassed you almost spilled your wine over you.

You set down your wine glass and stare warily at the telephone, knowing a call this late at night can’t be about anything good and may be concerning, but then you remember: ‘Lion!’

It gives you little to no relief thinking it’s Lion who might be calling you just now as your heart begins to race in your chest out of excitement.

You quickly grab the television remote, turning down the volume of the film before grabbing the telephone and holding it to your ear. 

“Lion?” You speak out quietly, knowing you’re going to be utterly humiliated if it’s just about anyone else calling.

“Hey, Rose. It’s me.” You’re relieved to hear Lion’s soft voice on the other end of the line. “Guessed right, huh? I guess a lot of people don’t call at this hour, do they?”

“Not at all.” You chuckle, sighing in relief. “Then again, I’m still awake at this hour.”

“That makes both of us.” Lion says, “I said I’d call you, right? But see, I didn’t wanna wait until the morning to do so. I hope it’s not too late or I’m not interrupting anything important.”

“No, no, not at all.” You tell him, relaxing back against the couch. “It’s a Friday night, no work tomorrow so no way I’m going to be in bed early.”

“Fair, fair.” You can practically sense Lion grinning to himself based on his enthusiastic, breathy tone. “I’d probably be in bed if it wasn’t for the drunks outside of our apartment making enough noise to wake up the entire complex but ahhh, what do I know? Anyways,” he clears his throat quietly, “I just wanted to ask you… You’re coming to the carwash tomorrow, right?”

“Of course, I am.” You reassure, “I promised. As long as it’s okay with Max I’m coming on a ‘day off’. I couldn’t help but overhear earlier today.”

“Max always says we’re ‘supposed to this’ and ‘supposed to do that’, when has it ever stuck? Nah, don’t you worry. I even told him so he knows what to expect. He won’t bother us. I’ll show ya around and maybe you can get that car cleaned and taken care of by us. Oh! By the way, you mentioned you had a car but I forgot to ask, what’s the make and model? Max will want to know too, he’s curious about cars.”

“It’s a Ford Pinto.” You answer, smiling to yourself. “Last year’s model—a gift from my uncle whose a retired car mechanic.”

“Oh wow.” Lion murmurs, “nice! Max will wanna see that for sure—me too, though. You know, I’m just washing cars and all so I don’t know much about them. Don’t mind me.”

“I don’t know anything about them either.” You giggle back. “I just know how to drive one.”

“Perfect, so we’re the same.” Lion can’t wipe the giddy smile off of his face. “So you’re definitely coming by tomorrow.”

“I am.” You beam, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. When I got home I already found the address in the telephone book. Can I come at…say, 9:30?”

“For sure. We open at nine anyway.” 

“Okay.” You blush, “I’ll see you nice and early in the morning then. 9:30.”

“Perfect.” Lion answers. “See you then. Goodnight, Rose.”

“Goodnight, Lion.” Your hands shake from excitement, almost dropping the telephone before you can set it down properly. 

As you plop back down onto the couch, taking in a deep breath—feeling your heart about to burst from your chest and unable to focus on the film on the television even if your life depended on it, you can’t help yourself from smiling and blushing. 

‘This could be a new chance for me, right?’ The one time you’ve genuinely found yourself actually interested in a guy who seems to be directing mutual feelings towards you, someone so easy to get along with, and it just happens to be Francis Lionel Delbuchi; some guy you served at the diner earlier today.

‘I want to see Lion again.’ You can repeat this to yourself a hundred times in your head again and again and yet you’d still feel giddy about the idea.

As Francis puts down his telephone, he feels a sense of relaxation in the sense he didn’t embarrass himself while talking on the phone to you considering how he was blushing and feeling his butterflies get the better of him, but also excitement equal to yours knowing he made official plans to see you again tomorrow. 

‘Aw, man. Maybe I can’t sleep at all tonight then. I’d wait until the morning if I could.’ Lion glances at the note with your phone number on it set next to the telephone and upon picking it up, he runs his fingers over your handwriting.

For a split second as Lion’s thinking of you by admiring your handwriting, his last real relationship—his ex-wife Annie—comes to mind and so do the thoughts of hearing her screaming at Lion over the telephone that she miscarried their son also flood Lion’s mind.

After being pushed away by the woman he loved with no return, no forgiveness of Lion’s absence despite sending every coin he worked hard to earn at sea, Lion was still seen as dead by the only woman he claimed to ever be in love with since he met her during his high school years.

‘At least Rose doesn’t treat me like I’m dead.’ At sea to Annie, Lion was dead to her and their unborn child, and she preferred to think that way even though Annie knew it hurt Lion.

Just a mere phone call to you lasting a few minutes taking Lion’s breath away is enough to show him that he’s more than willing now to give himself another chance when it comes to relationships—when it comes to you.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t speak so soon, right?’ Lion neatly folds your note, careful not to crumple or fold it.

After all, Lion’s known nothing in his intimate and romantic life outside of Annie. Every woman he’s come across since hitchhiking all over the country with Max has gone straight to Max like a moth to a flame and Lion’s just now realizing how lonely he’s been that entire time.

Intimately speaking, both you and Lion haven’t had sex in a few years, and Lion has forgotten the touch, love, and affection of a lover.

This time, Lion hopes you’re the one meant for him.

~

You can probably count the number of times you’ve almost jumped out of bed in the morning out of excitement on your fingers, and knowing you’re going to see Lion in half an hour just adds to it.

As he did last Saturday, Lion would usually be relaxing at home or going out to the city to spend his day off just as you or anyone else would, but even Lion’s unable to hide his enthusiasm about returning to the carwash just to see you.

Max has decided to come along after all, especially once Lion awoke him in the morning by peeking his head into Max’s bedroom and hollering, “did you know Rose has a Ford Pinto, 1972 model?!”

Of course, Max also knows the only reason why you’re bringing your car to Maxy’s Carwash is just to see Lion—an elaborate yet romantic excuse if you will—and so Max knows he won’t be getting “involved” in any conversation so you and Lion have as much alone time getting to know one another as possible.

Though if you do need some advice or tips regarding your vehicle, Max would then be more than happy to sit back and tell you what he knows. 

[ 9:26 AM ]

Having been at the carwash since 9:15 AM, Lion’s busy getting unraveling a house and turning on the water supply; grabbing a large bucket, some liquid soap, a sponge, and a squeegee like he’s about to work a regular shift.

Today, Lion’s dressed in the same, light blue loose dress shirt he wore the other day except with more buttons undone revealing a peek of his chest hair and collarbones, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black slacks, and rubber boots to avoid getting soaked in the soapy puddles that form on the ground.

“Think she’s coming for real?” Max asks, leaning back in a lounge chair and enjoying his morning cigar.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Lion looks up, putting his bucket down. “Ya see anyone else driving a mint green Ford?” Just then, Lion gestures up to the driveway to point out your vehicle driving up.

You beam behind the steering wheel, waving with one hand before honking to catch Max and Lion’s attention but the cigar almost drops out of Max’s mouth from the dumbfounded way he stares at your car.

“Hi, Rose!” Lion waves back, taking the bucket filled with water up and scurrying aside before gesturing for you to come park in the middle of the carwash.

You give Lion a nod, slowly beginning to park your car where Lion indicated before you shut off the transmission and hop out, putting the car keys in your purse. “Hi, good morning.”

“Good morning.” Lion blushes, smiling at you. “To you and your nice car. Can’t believe this—nope, I definitely don’t know anything about cars but I can say this is definitely a nice one.” You both laugh in unison before Lion adds, “pretty car, prettier owner, right Max?”

“Yeah…” Max continues to stare at the vehicle like it’s the first car he’s ever seen in his life.

“Thank you.” You blush at the compliment. “My uncle put in new interiors and everything before he gifted this to me.”

“A birthday gift, right?” Lion’s eyes light up. “How old are you?”

“That’s right.” You confirm. “I’m twenty-four. You?”

“I’m twenty-seven.” Lion answers sheepishly. “When was your birthday, exactly?”

“Just about a month ago.” Blushing, you brush a curtain of your hair behind your ear.

“Is it okay if I wish you a late ‘happy birthday’ then?” Lion gives you a beaming smile.

“Yeah, why not?” You giggle back.

“Happy birthday, Rose.” Lion almost kicks over his bucket, gasping dramatically which causes you to laugh again. “Let’s wash that car, huh? Max, come on! Quit your starin’ and lollygagging!”

“I was under the impression you were the one wanting to wash the car.” Max clears his throat, holding his cigar between his lips firmly before giving you a wave. “Hi, there.”

“Hello.” You politely greet back.

Max already has a feeling he’s only left a bad impression on you as a drunkard yesterday, so as awkward as a formal meeting you’re having with him now (if one can call it that), Max just relies on your body language to tell if he’s weirding you out.

“Thanks for getting us out of that uh—predicament.” Max smiles at you. “Really appreciate that. Ain’t that right, Lion?”

“That’s right!” Lion squeezes some liquid soap into the bucket of water.

“Nice to see there’s no hard feelings.” Max grunts, rising from his seat and extending a hand to you. “My name’s Max. Nice to meet you, Rose. Welcome to Maxy’s Carwash.”

“Likewise, thank you.” As you shake Max’s hand back, you can’t help but think to yourself that he’s looking at you as if he knows something very obvious that you don’t.

“Think I can help?” After you let go of Max’s hand, you turn to face Lion. “Two hands are better than one, you know.”

“Aww, come on.” Lion laughs, holding up a soap-covered sponge. “I was gonna wash your car, not have the customers tire themselves out by doing it too!”

“Not taking no for an answer!” Grinning playfully, you rush by Lion’s side and pick up another sponge. “I’m not afraid of hard work, you know.”

“Me neither!” Lion exclaims, handing you a bottle of soap.

Yet again, something so mundane and routine as getting your car washed became a romantic outing for you and Lion getting to know one another better and making it more obvious you two are interested in each other.

“Safe” is one of the first words Lion uses to describe how you make him feel. He’s safe to be loved, safe not to be judged, to be forgotten or blamed for something out of his control—like an absence for work. 

Lion can already tell you enjoy his company and want more of him—to see him always, to be by his side and enjoy his silly jokes, his rants, and all of his cute antics.

You and Lion don’t make excuses for one another and nothing is forced. Everything flows together so perfectly with an instant connection and chemistry that you still have to remind yourself that this is neither a joke nor a dream.

You’re not a customer at Maxy’s Carwash today, you’re a friend, and even Max sees that. 

Although throughout the entire time you and Lion tackled washing your car Max remained quiet—choosing to sit back and admire your car over a cigar—his ears have been listening in on your conversation with Lion the entire time.

Max himself has no trouble with women nor has he ever been married like Lion or gotten a woman pregnant, but he wants the best compatibility for his best friend and nothing less.

Max didn’t honestly care too much about the interactions you and Lion had at the diner the other day at first, but when Lion simply wouldn’t shut up about you and then told Max about your 1 AM phone call at breakfast, Max’s perspective changed immediately.

Max couldn’t get the image out of his head of seeing his best friend in a cathartic state for two weeks at a hospital; broken, defeated, lonely, and now Max can hardly believe his ears hearing Lion laugh and smile twice as much as he used to. 

It’s not that Lion lost all of his light-hearted nature but you definitely brought out another light inside of him that Max can very much be grateful for, thinking the two of you match well. 

You and Lion already spent half of your time at the carwash giggling at the hose squirting over the window of your car than actually cleaning it—constantly bursting out in laughter every few minutes.

“I did that because you made me laugh!” Lion shakes the hose in his hands wildly, “you made me laugh!”

Max may as well be hearing wedding bells seeing the two of you interact and after all, you don’t remind Lion at all about anything to do with Annie.

If anything, now you mark a new chapter in Lion’s life to start fresh when it comes to love and companionship. This is, was, and will forever be your story with the love of your life, Francis Lionel Delbuchi.

~

[ 3 Months Later ]

Three months later and it all became official. You and Francis were dating and all it took was for him to show up at the diner you worked at by the end of your shift just as he had first come and met you, then asked you with the utmost confidence if you “wanted to go out with him”.

You’d been on plenty of dates with Lion throughout the past months, still getting to know one another and spending as much time with each other as you both possibly could.

Being asked out on a date was a very different question than Lion asking you if you wanted to go steady with him as his girlfriend.

You lost your focus at work almost instantly, blushing like mad and accepting. The two of you marked the occasion with one of your best and most romantic date yet; at a much fancier restaurant downtown where Lion greeted you with a bouquet of twenty-four, red roses.

It didn’t take until you and Lion became officially boyfriend and girlfriend for you to accept and realize that Lion’s brought such a beautiful light and vibrancy to your life.

Chores and otherwise tedious tasks became the most fun activities you thought you could ever do in life with someone you loved and in order to replace the sad, gloomy feeling inside of both of you after you’d returned home, a month later Lion moved in with you.

In terms of running the household, nothing changed. You both split bills half-and-half like Lion did when he was living with Max (who then came to appreciate having all that extra space left), but Lion never recalled a time when he had fun washing dishes with Max in the kitchen.

Lion even learned a few driving tricks and tips just to impress you and take you for a spin in your car—everything constantly laughs and smiles with one another.

Lion feels open and free with you, like his lungs are now breathing in new, fresh air after not truly realizing how suffocated he was all that time before.

‘Is this what it’s like to be in love?’ Even when your shifts at Sunrise Diner grew hectic and busy, the thought of Lion makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, and you can’t resist thinking about kissing his plush lips again and snuggling up to him as soon as you get home.

“If this is any indicator for how our future is going to go,” Lion looked up at Max with a smile, “then I want it. I want it all with Rose, ya know? What’s not to want? She’s perfect.”

You yearned for Lion the way he yearned for you, and you never could have thought to be caught in bliss like this in your life.

[ Relationship: 6 Months In ]

Having grown so ridiculously comfortable with one another it was like home in someone’s arms. Lion ishome for you and you are home for him.

Tonight would mark the first time the two of you would get intimate with each other, and nothing set a soothing, romantic scene like sitting up in bed at night next to one another one summer night—listening to the crickets chirping outside, feeling a warm summer breeze flow through the curtains over open windows.

Snuggled into bed wearing a satiny, mini nightgown and Lion wearing one of his loose, wrinkled dress shirts just enough to hang off his arms and shoulders—otherwise fully shirtless—you look through a handful of old childhood photos of you and Lion next to him.

“Would you look at that?” You giggle quietly, comparing two photographs of you and Lion side by side making almost similar, silly poses before pulling up a more recent photo of you taken at the diner.

“Still so beautiful, huh?” Lion grazes his thumb over the sides of the photograph. “And look at that pretty smile,” he points to your face in the photo, “yeah, this picture here is of that pretty waitress Rose who works at Sunrise Diner and as you can see, she’s normally always smiling and happy like this right up until two idiots walk in with no money in their pockets and—”

You both burst out into laughter before Lion can even finish his joke, setting the photographs aside. “Yeah? I’m right, though!” Lion kisses your cheek, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “You’ll never let Max or I live that down, huh?”

“Hmm, how could I?” You blush, leaning over to kiss Lion’s lips. “It’s how we met. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Neither would I.” Lion rests his forehead against yours, pecking yet another kiss onto your lips. “And I think I’d definitely just keep comin’ back to see you again and again even if things didn’t end up this way.”

“This way?” The blush on your cheeks doubles as you feel Lion’s hand resting over your bare thigh. “That’s a very cute thing to say, to want it to come out to this.”

“It’s the happiest I’ve been.” Lion laces his free hand with yours, kissing your knuckles. “I promise. I thought happiness was just something I’d get to experience when I was workin’ as a sailor. All day every day out at sea, ya now? Kind of stupid to say.”

“Not at all.” You pout at Lion, cuddling him to lay back down in the bed with you. “I can understand that because it was like a home to you, and the more you tell me about it, the more apparent it gets.”

“It really was.” Lion lets out a deep breath, resting his head on his pillow and facing you. “I think of it from time to time, but not like before. With you, my perspective has changed.”

This time you can’t help but smile through the next kiss you share with Lion, and when you both pull away you two expect one another to speak, to say something else, and continue the conversation, but you and Lion melt into one kiss after the other.

The next kiss changes everything, deepening with passion felt between the both of you as you snuggle against Lion’s body over the bedsheets.

You inch your body close to Lion’s until there’s no space remaining between the two of you, essentially making the first move.

Then and there, Lion continues kissing you without breaking or parting from the kiss like before—instead letting his lips collide with yours softly with love, not insistence and greed.

As if your heart wasn’t thundering in your chest enough, another wave of excitement hits you as Lion begins to slowly move over top of you.

You wrap your arms around Lion’s shoulders, pulling him in closer while being unable to ignore the swarm of butterflies rushing inside of you.

Your cheeks are hot with blush and one part of you can only wonder if Lion can feel how hot your skin has grown in reaction to his movements.

Towards the move to intimacy, you feel safe and loved, not nervous, but also just as excited for what’s to come.

You let your hands roam through Lion’s dark, silky hair—tugging gently. You let out a soft whimper in his mouth—still continuing to make out with him before Lion begins to slowly part his lips away from you.

Now with your hands on his shoulders half pulling off Lion’s shirt and Lion hovering over top of your body, you both share an intimate look with one another that confirms his and your comfort to continue.

Slowly, you inch Lion’s dress shirt down his arms until you can throw it off him entirely, admiring the shape of your boyfriend’s arm muscles and his supple, soft skin.

Lion leans in, breathing softly, and kisses your neck gently, aiming to trail his kisses downward.

You let out a soft exhale, tilting your chin up to let Lion continue kissing around your neck as your eyes flutter shut.

Each kiss sends fire through your body and you’re already beginning to feel your knees feel weak and tingle with arousal.

Heavily aroused himself, Lion ignores his growing erection and lets his firm, large hands roam down from caressing your face to the straps of your nightgown.

Your eyes slowly open as you give Lion a small nod, watching him pull the straps down your shoulders before working to nudge your nightgown down your thighs completely—leaving you only in a pair of panties.

“Rose…” Lion murmurs against your skin as he kisses around your collarbones—his voice ushered and soft. 

“Yes, baby?” You breathe out, taking Lion’s hands and placing them over your breasts.

“Only if you’re comfortable.” Lion whispers to you.

“More than comfortable with you.” You tell him back quietly.

A smile crosses over Lion’s lips before he leans down to kiss you again; this time the excitement inside of you doubling and hitting hard.

Before either of you know it, Lion is taking off the rest of his clothes and you’ve kicked your panties off your ankles; now completely naked with your bodies pressed up against one another.

Neither you nor Lion has had sex in years, and the closest the two of you have been sexually is heated makeout sessions while touching one another so far.

Now fully naked and vulnerable with each other for the first time, you and Lion gaze at one another lovingly.

Lion gently squeezes your breasts—his hands still over them—before letting his touch trail to your stomach and your hips.

You can tell just by the way Lion touches you that his only goal and intention is to tease and please you, admire you, and worship every inch of your body.

“You’re so beautiful,” Lion breathes, planting kisses between your breasts and down your chest.

Growing shy from the compliments and touching, you bite down on your lip and can’t help but admire Lion’s naked body over top of you too. 

“I have protection,” Lion moves his hand back to gesture to his nightstand.

“Oh, really?” You tease, cupping his face with both hands. “Came prepared?”

“More like Max did for me, just in case.” Lion jokes, leaning his body to the side to pull open the drawer and rummage inside before grabbing a condom out. “There…”

“Perfect.” You giggle quietly, watching as Lion blushes before you, opening up the condom wrapper and pinching the tip of the condom to let the air out.

You can hardly deny any longer just how severely aroused you’ve grown being naked with Lion, let alone watching him slick the condom over his cock with a soft grunt.

The sight of Lion’s length is enough to deepen the butterflies forming a knot in your gut, and it’s then when you see Lion pump himself for a brief few seconds that you already find yourself spreading open your legs. 

Positioning himself between your legs, Lion maintains eye contact with you—the tip of his nose brushing up against yours from how physically close you are to one another.

You softly breathe over one another as you begin to wrap your thighs around Lion’s waist; a spike of shyness you’ve otherwise never felt before surging through you as Lion begins with a kiss first.

Finding yourself increasingly drawn to Lion’s seduction by the moment, you shiver against his touch and let yourself take at the moment as Lion’s hand makes its way between your legs.

A breathy “oh” escapes your lips to feel Lion’s slim fingers parting open your dewy lips, slicking your wetness over them.

Your clit throbs desperately against Lion’s fingers, desperate to be touched so much so that you writhe underneath him. 

“L-Lion,” you moan, eyes half open and feeling your boyfriend’s fingers rub around your clit in lazy circles.

For one thing, even during the heated makeout sessions and touching, you’ve never had any troubles becoming easily aroused when it comes to Lion.

The yearning, the passionate sexual desire, and insistence to love one another blocks out all and any other emotion entirely.

Lion breathes against your neck, feeling how increasingly wet his fingers have become. ��Ready, baby?”

“Yes,” you whimper out, gazing down to see Lion positioning himself closer to your entrance.

As Lion slowly begins to penetrate you with the tip of his cock, he runs his hands down your inner thighs gingerly, continuing to plant kisses over your jawline.

You relax your body against Lion, grunting softly as you feel a slight burning sensation as Lion enters inside of you inch by inch until your body grows accustomed to him.

“Everything alright, baby?” Lion whispers breathily to you, looking at your expression for a green light to move his hips.

“M-mhmm,” you whine, nodding.

Feeling very full inside, only pleasure begins to rack through you as Lion begins to thrusts his hips back and forth to meet yours.

“God,” you hear Lion moan softly against your neck, pushing every inch of himself into your tightness.

Shaky moans spill out of your mouth until you get accustomed to Lion’s slow, lovemaking pace—now craving to feel him back inside of you with each and every thrust.

Lion intertwines both hands with you, keeping yours gently pinned down on the bed and his lovemaking to a passionate and deep pace.

You bury your face into Lion’s shoulder to muffle out your moans, exceedingly turned on by hearing him moan which only makes your body beg and cry out to feel him make love to you again and again.

“I love you,” Lion kisses your cheek, dazed by all the pleasure hitting him at once. “So much, Rose.”

“Francis,” you moan out his actual name, digging your nails into Lion’s back but not enough to hurt him. “I-I love you more—ooh!”

Lion chuckles, pleased to see how turned on you are and enjoying the way he rocks over your body. “Just like that, baby… Yeah, yeah…”

Lion hits every sweet spot inside of you that you didn’t even know you had one at a time, teasingly beckoning you to a slow but sure buildup of an orgasm. 

The feeling alone is overwhelming in the most erotic way possible and you feel it through every inch of your body captivated by the way Lion makes love to you.

Sharing several, sloppy and loving kisses with each other, Lion’s able to tell you’re close to your orgasm by the way your thighs begin to shake against his waist.

“Please, please,” you whimper, clutching onto Lion’s back as if you’d break if you let go—consistently feeling your pussy contracting around his cock as your orgasm is about to release.

“Baby,” Lion holds back his own climax, gazing into your eyes and attempting to catch his breath amidst his thrusts. “I’m close, baby, I’m c-close.”

“Do it already,” you push your hips back against Lion’s eagerly, wanting to feel him release his own orgasm inside of you. “Do it, baby.”

Lion gazes down to watch his cock thrusting in and out of you, now doing so agonizingly slowly as he slicks in and out of you with ease.

Safe day or not, it’s another level of intimacy altogether you’ve never experienced before, and it’s when Lion releases inside of you that you lose grip of your own orgasm and let out a filthy moan—cumming around his cock.

Sparks of pleasure wash over your entire body from head to toe—the orgasm having built from perfect momentum, hitting all the right spots and angles.

“Oh, baby,” Lion moans before he muffles himself out by kissing you over the mouth.

Lion’s thrusts slow before they come to a complete spot, and still inside you, the two of you continue to kiss until your thighs no longer quiver around Lion’s body.

“Oh my God,” you groan, clutching onto Lion’s arms as he slowly begins to pull out of you.

“Come here, baby, come here…” Lion’s hands caress over your thighs as he yanks the blankets towards the two of you, throwing it over his back and snuggling it over top of you.

Feeling every inch of your body grow hypersensitive from the aftermath of your explosive orgasm, you gaze at Lion as if you’re in a dream-like state, still relieving all the pleasure you felt.

You can feel Lion’s hot, sticky cum slowly beginning to ooze out of you as Lion pulls you into his arms; your hot, sweaty bodies against one another.

“You’re absolutely perfect, you know that?” Lion kisses over both of your cheeks. 

“That was…” You smile weakly at him, biting down on the corner of your lip. “Mm, that was so, so good… You’re…” 

But your words are cut off from realizing the afterglow of sex hitting both of you with all those hormones released. Instead, all you and Lion can do is gaze at each other like two new lovers who can’t get enough.

Still, you’re not about to forget what just took place in your own bed for the first time in years, and it causes you to blush furiously and easily become flustered just thinking about it seconds after.

Lion notices how shy you’re beginning to grow after sex, and he remains quiet—simply enamored by your beauty and appreciative of the loving silence between the two of you as he strokes your hair.

“I love you, Rose.” Lion tells you again, breaking the silence.

“I love you more, Francis.” You smile at him shyly, lacing one hand with him and keeping it close to your chest. 

The rest of the evening is a blur, but a dream-like blur you and Lion are eager to get lost in and fall asleep curled up in each other’s arms after letting one last, soft conversation come to an end.

All you can hear is Lion’s soft breathing as you cuddle onto his chest, picking up on the scent of his fragrant body wash, feeling warm, calm, and safe right where you want to be, and right where Lion’s always wanted to be.

~

When you awake still in Lion’s arms, you expect to be greeted by not just the kisses of your beloved but also the rays of the sun shining against your face—signaling it’s the morning.

Instead, as you blink your eyes open weakly, you feel Lion’s hands gently stroking through your hair; definitely not a rude awakening.

“Hi, baby.” Lion whispers to you as you tilt your head to face him. “Hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Mmm…” You squeeze your eyes shut, realizing you’re in the exact same position cuddled up to Lion naked under the covers. “Not at all…” Your hands find Lion’s chest as you pull him closer to you—feeling wide awake within your lover’s embrace. “You’re up early…?”

“5 AM.” Lion chuckles softly. 

“What…?” You furrow your brows, quickly turning around to face the alarm clock on the nightstand. “5 AM?!”

“I’m so used to waking early, I can’t help it.” Lion grins, snatching you back in his arms by your hips. “This time you woke up with me.”

“Always?” You giggle quietly, “but why?”

“I like to watch the sunrise.” Lion smiles, shrugging his shoulders. “I used to at sea. It’s a habit I can’t shake off.”

“Lots of bad habits in this world.” You lean up and kiss Lion’s lips. “Mm, but not this one.” You raise your head towards the window to peek out at the warm glow of orange and pink melting in the sky as the sun begins to rise slowly over the horizon.

“See?” The smile over Lion’s face grows wider. “It’s gorgeous, isn’t it? Now if only you were a morning person, maybe you wouldn’t miss it.”

“I’ll be an anything person for you.” You laugh softly, sitting up in bed. “Well? You said you love to watch the sunrise every morning, so let’s not miss it today.”

“Not especially if you want to come to see it with me.” Lion’s eyes light up. “But first…” He gestures to the blankets covering both of your dignities.

“Oh, right.” You wink at Lion playfully, getting up out of the bed naked first.

Lion’s eyes admiringly gaze over your body as you pick up your panties and nightgown, slipping them back on yourself.

He gets up from bed too, shrugging his now wrinkled dress shit over his shoulders again and pulling over his briefs and slacks.

Neither of you are concerned about appearances, to begin with, but summer mornings in Pittsburgh can be chilly ones.

“Come on,” Lion grins, extending out his hand to you. “The balcony has the best view.”

“Alright,” you blush, taking your boyfriend’s hand and letting him lead you out of your bedroom and over to the balcony just by the living room.

Lion unlocks the sliding door and you both step out, sharing a lounge chair together as Lion lovingly wraps his arms around your hips and keeps you on his lap.

“I’ve never been up this early before,” you admit sheepishly as Lion rubs warmth into your arms.

“It’s a sight I’d wanna get used to with you if you want.” Lion kisses the nape of your neck.

“If I want?” You feel a rush of butterflies hitting you again. “Always. If it means I get to share another moment with you, I’ll never say no. Otherwise, it has no meaning to me.”

“No meaning, huh?” Lion spends most of his time gazing at you in awe than he does at the sky. “I like that.” He smooches your cheek before turning his attention to the hue of colors mixing with one another upon the horizon.

Enjoying each other’s silence and the view as you hold a hand with Lion, a few minutes pass before he speaks again.

“Ya know…” Lion’s eyes wander around your balcony, knowing it’s the most spacious one he’s ever seen so far but he’s much more fascinated with the fact you garden little berries and fruits in small pots on the balcony too. “Since you grow all these here, I think we should get a scarecrow.”

“A what?” You burst into a fit of giggles. “A scarecrow? Like a real one.”

“Oh, yeah.” Lion nods, barely able to keep his own laughter contained. “Not those cheap makeshift ones you find at a craft store. I mean like a real goofy lookin’ guy—a real scarecrow you see on those farms. We should get one riiiiight, here.” He points to the center of the balcony, envisioning a scarecrow would protect all of the berries. “It would be nice! That way the crows don’t eat all of our berries.”

“And we can share the view with Mr. Scarecrow?” You suggest with a grin.

“For sure, for sure.” Lion nods, stealing a kiss from your cheek. “It would make the crows laugh. They always do when they see a scarecrow.”

“The crows are laughing?” You ask, not even doing so intentionally as Max had before in Lion’s little inside scarecrow joke with him.

Lion’s eyes widen a bit at your response—surprised in the best way possible as he laughs with you, saying, “the crows would definitely be laughing,” before kissing you again.

[elenaaadaniels]

Chapter One: The Mandalorian

Part 2

Warning: Catcalling. Mild abuse, mention of alcohol, mention of SA

I wanna savor, save it for later. The taste of flavor, 'cause I'm a taker. Cause I'm a giver, it's only nature. I live for danger 

- 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘞𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘈𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦 ___________________________________ 

Third Person Pov 

The noise level in the cantina hummed with music, the sound of glass clicking together, and the laughter of it's guest drinking and gambling away. There was nothing better to do on Arvala-7. That's at least what Alaina thought of the planet. Arvala-7 was a remote desert planet with a barren of rocky surface and breathable atmosphere. Here and there, would be moisture farms that farmers would use, but it was a crappy planet compared to those out there. 

That's at least what she heard... 

Alaina dreamed about what it would be like to go to another planet. She heard from some travelers that planets had cities or waterfalls, or enough grass that covered the whole planet. Sadly, she knew none of what that would look like. For the most part, she knew nothing of her childhood. She remembered being four and waking up to being in a ship. When it landed, she was welcomed to Arvala-7, placed in the nearest orphanage, and at fifteen leaving because of how harsh it was. 

Now her life revolved around living in a shitty apartment that was constant hot due to the beaming sun and a twelve hour bar job that barely gave enough money for food and shelter. Alaina had to endure it. There was no where else she could go. Rarely, spaceports came here and she had no knowledge on flying any vehicles to leave the atmosphere. 

" Hey lady, you going to pour me another drink or what?" 

Alaina snapped from her own thoughts looking over to the end of the bar seeing the half-drunken man raise his mug in the air annoyed that it was empty. She rolled her eyes grabbing the bottle of Gin and made her way over to the man that's been harassing her all day. 

" Don't get your stars in a twist." She muttered when he harshly bumped his mug into her chest slipping some on her shirt and the table. 

" Watch that pretty little mouth of yours." He snapped glaring up at her as he took a swing of his drink." Best to keep it shut and your legs open." 

" Excuse me?" She choked out the word. 

" How about we get out of here and I can show you what I mean?" The man challenged smirking up at her with a look that made her stomach churn." See what that nice ass looks like from the back." 

Alaina cringed at his words and the way it made her feel walking away to where she was standing before. She hated her job. Not only was it under paying, but it wasn't worth the harassment guest would cause on her or when they got to drunk and grabbed at her like she was meat. She hated every minute of it. 

The noise level in the cantina, dropped to zero slowly. Alaina frowned at what had caused it when her eyes landed to the doorway. A Mandalorian. She heard the stories. The fiercest warriors that could kill in seconds and lived for the danger and one was now standing in front of her. While every patron averts their eyes, she watch the Mandalorian walk from the doorway slowly. 

Two dozen pairs of eyes that had been studiously avoiding the beskar armor and the blasters strapped to the hunter's waist slowly turned away, but she didn't. Never had she seen a Mandalorian before and she was interested in why one had come to this planet. The Mandalorian made his way to a table in the back corner of the room and sit down across from Kuiil. Alaina knew who the nice Ugnaught was. 

Out of all the people that came to the Cantina, Kuiil was the nicest always tipping extra than he needed to and politely asking for things. He was a vapor farmer from what she knew offering valuable skills to those who could meet his price. So, why was a Mandalorian coming to see him? Wiping a mug that had just been washed, she studied the way the two talked. Kuiil didn't seem like he was in trouble at all. He didn't seem scared, but rather calm when speaking to the bounty hunter. 

"You've seen people like him before?" Zilas asked grabbing a couple of beers for some people. 

Alaina shrugged her shoulders," A Mandalorian, right?" 

Zilas nodded his head briefly looking back to The Mandalorian before looking away almost afraid he would get caught doing so. 

" Warriors feared throughout the galaxy." He added." Bounty hunters." 

She chewed on her bottom lip," Why is one here?" She asked curiously. 

Zilas shrugged again," Beats me." He said walking away to deliver the beers. 

Alaina continued to wipe down the mug in her hand despite being dry and studied the two again. The more she studied them, she noticed that The Mandalorian was covered in some mud and had bite marks on the right side of his faded Burgundy armor. She knew Kuiil had some blurrg and perhaps The Mandalorian had a run in with one of them meeting Kuiil beforehand. 

" Can I get another round, sweet ass?" The drunken man asked raising his glass and spilling some on himself. 

Alaina knew how this day was going to go. The drunken man was never going to leave and she would probably have to run home so he didn't follow her or the day would go with her cleaning his throw-up since her boss found it funny. She grabbed the bottle of half empty Gin rolling her eyes as she did so and poured the man his drink. 

" Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there." He snickered annoyed that she had done so. 

" How long did it take you to come up with that one?" She shot back equally annoyed. 

The man drank the Gin never breaking eye contact," Come on." He flirted." Come back to my place and I can show you a great time." 

" Is it a great time because you left?" She replied smugly. 

The man became upset with her answer turning it into a glare. 

" Get a life." 

" You mean like yours? No thanks." She said about to walk away when the man grabbed her arm tightly already forming a bruise." Hey! Let me go." 

The man never did. In fact, he swung her around until her back was pressed against the wall causing her to bump her head. He pressed his arm to her chest holding her against it with his face flaring red. 

" You need to learn how to respect me." 

" Let me go!" Alaina shouted fighting against him, but when that didn't work, she clawed his cheek causing the man to hiss in pain. 

He brought his other hand to his cheek seeing he was bleeding bringing on another level of rage. He balled his fist ready to give her a biggest mark that just claw marks. 

" Ungrateful little-" 

It happened in a flash. So fast that Alaina had to question if she did it. The sound of a blaster filled the Catina and the drunken man had fallen to the ground with his chest smoking from where the blaster had gotten him. She followed the direction the blasters blast had come from seeing The Mandalorian still with his blaster aimed. He placed it away and without another word, left the Catina as if he had done nothing. 

" See what you've done!" Her boss shouted at the top of his lungs pointing to her next." In my office. Now!" 

Though her life was saved, she knew she was in for a yelling. She followed her boss into his office seeing his Iktochi man face turn beet red. 

" It's bad enough when a bounty hunter comes in here, but to make him shoot one of my guest!" 

" I didn't do anything." She defended." The guy was yelling at me." 

" About what?!" 

" He was catcalling me and I turned him down-" 

" You've should have just let him!" Her boss yelled that she had not." Now I got Uader cleaning up a dead body out there!" 

At this rate, it was Alaina's turn to become in rage hearing what her boss was defending and not defending. 

" That man was disgusting." She said fiercely." He was the same one that groped Ophia and you did nothing about it." 

" The needs of my guest is what brings them back in! Creates business!" 

" If that's how you think, then you are just as disgusting!" She shouted back at him. 

" You're fired!" He growled." Out! Now!" 

And she had no trouble in doing so. 

Alaina turned on the balls of her feet slamming the door open not caring if it dented his wall or not. Uader and Zilas carried the drunken man's dead body out the back causing her to leave the front of the Catina avoiding the eyes of the guest that still remained inside. Outside was hot, luckily for her not to the point of melting away. She didn't want to head to her apartment just yet. She wanted to clear her mind and think about the next terrible job she can apply to so she could still keep her apartment. 

There was another bar she could go to, but at the same time it was no better than the one she was just fired from. She thought about this for hours walking enough through the desert of Arvala-7 that she tied her hair into a ponytail because it was getting a bit too hot for her. She still didn't want to go home. How could she walk back to her place when she had no money to pay for it and rent was due tomorrow. A cry broke out loud in the valley the caused her to stop walking. 

Did she imagined it? 

As quickly as she asked herself, the cry broke out again, but not just any ordinary cry. A baby. She sprung into action racing as best as she can against the sand following the sound. Moving just pass the hill, she noticed a small green creature sitting in an egg like container. 

" Oh my god." She said sliding down the hill until she got to the creature. 

He looked up at her, sad brown bright eyes that were scared slowly looked relieved to see her. Undoubtedly, she made a noise of awe at how cute the wrinkly creature was and how he held out a hand to her wanting to be picked up. 

" Hey there, little guy. What's wrong?" Alaina cooed when the creature turned away from her staring at something. 

She followed his gaze when her smile dropped at the sight of the Mandalorian that had saved her life hours beforehand on the ground. Not moving. 

" The Mandalorian." She whispered placing the green creature back in his cradle and racing over to the man. 

" Are you okay?" She asked bending down waiting for him to answer, but got nothing." Um, Mr. Mandalorian?" 

Alaina shook his shoulders trying to wake him up, but nothing. What she did notice was the dart against his armor and pulled it out to see it was a tranquilizer dart made by the Jawas. Tossing it to the side, she stared at his helmet wondering how anyone could wear it for so long. Lightly placing her fingers at the edge, she wanted to check for his pulse only for the Mandalorian to spring awake flipping them over so he was on top. 

" I'm sorry! I wanted to make sure you were breathing!" She shouted in fear holding her hands up for him to see. 

" How did you find me?" He demanded. 

It's the first time the Mandalorian spoken directly to her, and his voice is processed through some kind of filter in his helmet that makes it sound just slightly inhuman. His voice is deep and firm, a commander's voice, with a metallic edge. 

" I heard the..." Alaina stopped turning to the baby wondering what it was." thing crying and then I saw you on the ground. Are you okay?" 

" I'm fine." He said getting off of her. 

She was in shock sitting up and watching the Mandalorian walk away with the creature with no other words. She got up quickly dusting off the sand from her butt and jogged until she was by his side. 

" Hey, thanks for...um...taking down that guy at the Cantina." 

" Don't mention it." He dryly replied. 

She smiled lightly looking back to the little green creature," Is this your son?" 

" No." 

" You hungry little guy?" She offered taking a cookie out of her satchel and handing it." Here. You must be starving." 

" Kriff." The Mandalorian cursed. 

Alaina looked up from the little green creature seeing a gray old ship that had taken a harsh blow with some parts missing and sparks still sparking. 

" Damn." She gasped turning to the green creature next to her." Was it always like this?" 

The creature made a small cooing noise giving no true answer, so she shrugged her shoulders carefully walking onto the ship. It was just as bad from the inside as the outside, but she felt bad when seeing the Mandalorian slumped against the wall in defeat on the state of his ship. 

" I'm sure it has a great personality." She tried to bargain giving a small smile. 

" Local Jawas looted my ship. Now I'm stranded." He explained. 

She felt bad for the Mandalorian. Of all planets, in her opinion, Arvala-7 was the worse to be stranded on. There was only one ship mechanic on the planet and it was lousy workers that barely even did the job right. Not to mention, Jawas were hard to bargain with. The only person to get through to them was... 

" Maybe not for long." She blurted out coming up with an idea. 

The Mandalorian perked up," You know how to fix my ship?" 

" No, but I know someone that can get the parts back for you?" 

" Who?" 

She smiled so wide," I'll tell you who if we can make a deal." She offered. 

He slightly groaned," What's the deal?" 

" If I help you get the parts back for your ship, can you take me to a different planet than this one?" 

Mando tilted his head," You wanna leave Arvala-7?" 

" You've seen the place." She said gesturing to the world just outside the ship." Plus, I never seen what's out there and given I just got fired from my job for what you did, I got nothing else to lose." 

" Not even your family." 

" I don't have family." She added sadfully. 

Mando got up from the floor holding his hand out," You have a deal." 

" Really?" Alaina shouted with glee." Oh my maker! I'm going to get out of here! Yes! Yes!" 

" So, who can help me?" Mando said grabbing her by the shoulders so she could calm down. 

" Kuiil." She answered." He knows how to talk to the Jawas and they like him for the most part. I know he can help." 

" By now he had to leave the Cantina." he says. 

" I know where he lives. I'll lead the way." She said walking down the ramp before turning back to the helmet." Come on. We'll get there by sundown." 

He let out a sigh, maybe another curse word, before following the brunette down the ramp with his little green creature. The walk was quiet. The Mandalorian stuck in his own head while Alaina remembered the basics ways to get to Kuiil's farm. She's been there a couple times that Kuiil invited her to fix something the bar had broken. True to her words, when the sun met the horizon, Kuiil was on top of his self-made windmill fixing up some pieces when the three made it over. 

" I thought you were dead." Kuiil spoke turning around surprised to see Alaina and the green creature." Didn't expect you to be with him." 

" I'm helping him." 

" And the little one behind you?" Kuiil acknowledged causing Alaina and Mando to turn towards the small little thing only to see he came out of his egg shaped cradle. 

As fast as his little feet would take him, it chased after the near by frogs on the farm giggling and cooing when one got near him and faced defeat when they didn't. Kuiil climbed down from his windmill placing a bucket down before looking down at the creature himself. 

" This is what was causing all the fuss?" 

Mando looked up from his arm weaponry," I think it's a child." 

Child. Alaina liked the name for it given how it acted just like a child would and was cute as one. It beat her calling it a creature. 

" It's better to deliver it alive then." 

" My ship has been destroyed. I'm trapped here." Mando explained. 

" Stripped. Not destroyed." Kuiil corrected handing a tool over to the Mandalorian." The Jawas steal. They don't destroy." 

Mando huffed under his breath," Stolen or destroyed, makes no difference to me." He admitted looking to the child briefly." They're protected by their crawling fortress. There's no way to recover the parts." 

Kuiil shook his head," You can trade." 

" With Jawas? Are you out of your mind?" 

" No, he's right." Alaina interrupted." If you have something or offer, something they like, they'll trade just about anything in return." 

Kuiil nodded to her, then looks at the armored man." I will take you to them. I have spoken." 

By the way he stood, Alaina could tell that Mando was annoyed that they were going back to the Jawas, but there was not much to argue with. Knowing this, she gave him a half smile when the child started to make gurgling sounds having half a frog in his mouth. 

" Hey! Spit that out." Mando ordered, but the child continued to eat it until it was no more. 

" Oh." She muttered impressed yet disgusted. 

" We leave now." Kuiil interrupted already halfway to his hut." Just let me pack for what we need." 

" We're leaving now?" She asked stunned that it was happening all too soon. 

Kuiil nodded," Going to be a far travel." 

With Kuiil inside his hut getting ready and the Mandalorian still fixing his armor, Alaina was left to take a deep breath for what could happen ahead. 

" By the maker, what have I gotten myself into." She whispered to herself. 

The journey started when the sun had set with Kuiil riding one of his Blurrg's while it carried a wagon right behind it. At the front of the front of the wagon was Mando, armed with a rifle for any danger and right behind him was Alaina and the child looking at the terrain as they move along. The first hour of the trip had gone smoothly until the clouds started to rumble and dropped rain onto the land. Alaina was quick to throw a blanket over her and the child cradling him to her chest to keep warm and dry. 

She was ready to ask the Mandalorian if he needed a blanket of his own, but as the rain kept pouring, he sat there never moving or hindering to take shelter. The rain never bothered him. He remained focus on Kuiil making sure the Ugnaught was awake the entire time and didn't fall asleep leading them somewhere else. When the sun was beginning to rise, Mando yawned at how long the night had gone. The rain had stopped hours ago, now dried, but he wondered the same for the others. 

He turned seeing Alaina had fallen asleep with the blanket draped over her and the child, who was pressed to her chest. He studied the young woman seeing how her wavy hair that was freshly washed by the early rain laid across the floor and her face. In her sleep, she was just as beautiful with her tan skin complimenting against the sunrise rays. He snapped himself from his thoughts turning away as his cheeks flushed a bit. It was times like this that he was glad to wear a helmet. 

He studied everyone he had ever met. He had to in order to know their weaknesses and the way they would attack. He never studied anyone like the way he studied her just now. He has seen plenty of women from plenty of planets and species, but she had taken his studying to a new level he never felt before in a long time. It was no wonder the beauty caused him to rip his blaster out of his holster and shook the drunken man back at the Catina. 

When the sun was at its peak, and everyone was freshly awake was when Mando saw the fortress that belonged to the Jawas. He tighten his hold on his rifle seeing the little critters still organizing parts from his crest. 

" There they are." He muttered under his breath. 

Alaina stopped feeding the child some grapes looking up to see the large square fortress that could run over anything and how the Jawas were racing to get blasters of their own at the sight of him. 

" They really don't like you for some reason." Kuiil spoke. 

" Well, I did disintegrate a few of them." Mando admitted causing Alaina to swallow in shock. 

The child stood on her lap looking around at the scene around him even letting out a coo when seeing the Jawas fortress. Alaina felt differently. She knew the Jawas were sneaky in getting what they wanted or if they saw something on you that they want it. Hearing their bicker, she looked up to the fortress seeing some Jawas open the windows looking down at them. 

" You need to drop your rifle." Kuiil instructed only for Mando to disagree. 

" I'm a Mandalorian. Weapons are part of my religion." 

Kuiil shook his head," Then you are not getting your parts back." 

Mando let out a sigh placing it to the side," Fine." 

" And the blaster." Kuiil added holding his hands up as he greeted the Jawas." Good day." 

Knowing he was annoyed, Alaina sent Mando a smile before turning to the Child and kissing the top of his wrinkly green head. 

" Stay here, little guy." She ordered getting a cute sound out of him before joining Kuiil and Mando. 

" They will trade all the parts for the beskar." Kuiil translated out loud for Mando and Alaina to understand. 

" I'm not gonna trade anything. These are my parts." Mando accused harshly." They stole them from me." 

The Jawas started to speak in their language causing Mando to do the same. It didn't take much for Alaina to know it wasn't going good. Especially when they all started laughing at him. 

" You understand this?" Mando growled aiming his arm at them when flames came out nearly getting all of the Jawas. 

" No! Whoa." Kuiil mannered grabbing the Mandalorian's arm away." Easy, easy." 

The Jawas started once again this time pointing behind them. Alaina knew instantly what they wanted and turned seeing other Jawas were near the child. 

" Get away from it!" Mando yelled before she could causing the Jawas to scurry away from the child. 

His yell had caused the child to bend down in fear and it broke her heart to see. She abandoned the Mandalorian's side walking back over to the wagon and kissing the top of his head. 

" It's okay, little guy." She comforted bending down to whisper to him." He's not much of a friendly person, is he?" 

"The egg?" the Mandalorian said out loud catching her attention." What egg?" 

Whatever it was, it made the Jawas chant all at once as they boarded the large fortress. Despite it being large, it was made from Jawa height causing Alaina and Mando to crotch down to get anywhere. She sat next to him and held onto the space bar in front of her so she didn't fall. The Mandalorian, however, held onto nothing and groaned loudly when bumping his head on the top of the ceiling when they hit a bump. It just made her happy when they got to their destination and she knew it made Mando even more happy. 

" You can stay back with Kuiil." He said, but she shook her head walking down the ramp with him. 

" You might need my help." 

He lightly laughed," You don't look like much help." 

" Maybe I am." She said shrugging her shoulders since she wasn't giving him much of an option." Maybe I'm not. We'll have to see." 

The trek to the egg's destination wasn't far, but it shocked them both when seeing it. It was a large ditch with a single hole in the corner that looked rather old, almost abandoned. They carefully slid down the side seeing the bottom was muddy and some footprints still lingered around. 

" Stay here with the child." He said and she nodded her head watching him grab his blaster from his side and head in. 

She listened to every sound from outside the cave, like when something chirped or the soft, faint sound of his boots walking in the mud. It made her feel on edge. They didn't know what the hell was inside and she had one person, one ship that could get her off this planet. Out of no where, blaster sounds echoed from the cave and she jumped in alarm. 

" Mando?" Alaina called out when his body came out flying and skated against the mud." Mando!" 

" Stay back!" He yelled holding his arm out for her to not come near. 

The creature growled coming out from the cave causing Alaina to gasp seeing it was a giant Mudhorn. The Mandalorian was quick getting to his knees and aiming his rifle at the Mudhorn, but upon pulling the trigger nothing had happened. The Mudhorn roared loudly taking large galloped towards him and sending him flying once again. Alaina gasped loudly covering her mouth in shock, but the sound of the child's coo caused the Mudhorn to look right at them. The Mudhorn growled galloping towards them that Alaina did the only thing she could do. 

" No!" She screamed pushing the child's cradle away while taking the hit herself. 

She screamed at the impact flying in the air before her back hit the walls of the small ditch and back onto the ground. The air left her lungs and she took several deep breaths before noticing Mando had roped the Mudhorn. The only bad part was he was being dragged around. Diving forward when they passed by, she wrapped her arms around Mando's waist bringing more weight to stop the Mudhorn. It wasn't enough with the sound of the cord snapping and having them tumble back onto the ground. Mando quickly looked up noticing the Mudhorn coming back at them and quickly pushed Alaina out of the way taking the hit himself. 

She watched his body fly in the air and harshly back onto the ground unmoving. It caused her to gasp, but she couldn't move fearing what the Mudhorn would do. Seconds felt like hours before the Mandalorian started to move again slowly moving onto his knees with his armor coming apart around him. The Mudhorn didn't like that he got up growling louder than before and running right at him. His only defense was a knife he pulled from his boot holding it up with shaky hands. Alaina felt her heart skip a beat waiting for the Mudhorn to take out him, but it never came. 

In fact, the Mudhorn stopped abruptly levitating slowly into the air just as confused as the two were. She walked forward wondering how the Mandalorian was doing it only for him to turn towards her wondering if she was doing it. When it turned to be neither, they looked towards the child seeing he out stretched his tiny green hand and eyes closed doing it himself. His hand began to shake and he held on as best as he could when his body fell back. The mud horn fell to the floor, but Mando was quick to stab it right in the heart ending their battle. 

" Did you know he could do that?" She was quick to asked. 

" No." He answered groaning as he moved and pulled the knife out of the Mudhorn. 

" Are you okay?" She asked next. 

He nodded his head," I took worse." He admitted looking at his broken armor." Let's just get the egg and get out of here." 

Alaina nodded her head walking over to the child seeing he was sleeping. Panic arose and she quickly checked his body for injury, but he was just sleeping...peacefully. It was unclear what species the child was. There were many out there in the galaxy, but she had never seen one like him. Boots meeting mud caught her attention and she turned back seeing the Mandalorian holding a hairy, brown, egg. 

" That's the egg?" 

" It better be." He muttered placing the egg on the ground and grabbing a cloth from his pocket." Here." 

He moved the cloth to her arm where she saw crimson. He first cleaned the mud off revealing a cut before lightly tying it around to keep from bleeding anymore. He moved his head back to the child when she nodded her head. 

" He's just sleeping. I checked." She explained wondering if the panic rose in him too." Must of really taken it out of him." 

" Come on." He said tilting his head to the side as they left the ditch and headed back to the Jawas. 

" Mando!" Kuiil called out once they were in view causing the Jawas to race out as well. 

" I have it. I've got the egg." 

The Jawas by passed Kuiil yelling out words Alaina didn't even understand. She could tell they were happy holding onto the egg with happiness and even holding it up in the air with cheers. The one Jawa grabbed a hatchet cutting the top half and when he declared it was good, they all scooped in large yolk like material eating it away. She gagged looking away from the mess while Mando shook his head walking over to Kuiil. 

" I'm surprised you waited." 

Kuiil nodded his head," I'm surprised you took so long." He laughed looking over to Alaina." I see you don't know how to treat a lady." 

She let out a small laugh seeing how she was covered in mud and fist-bumped the Mandalorian's shoulder while going to get the parts for his ship. She was surprised how much the Jawas had taken. It's no wonder the Mandalorian was persistent to get it back. They made their trek back to the ship. Alaina was tired, but she knew there was no time to sleep on this journey given the ship parts took most of the wagon's space. It was why she sat next to the Mandalorian this time and the child on his other side. 

" Is it still sleeping?" Kuiil asked causing them to look over at him. 

" Yes." Mando answered. 

" Was it injured?" 

Mando shook his head," I don't think so. Not physically." He said looking over to her next." She saved it from getting hurt." 

" Alaina." She said giving him a smile." My name is Alaina." 

" You can call me, Mando." He said holding his hand out for her. 

She smiled at him warming up to her and shook his hand. 

" Explain it to me again." Kuiil interrupted." I still don't understand what happened." 

" Neither do I." They said at the same time staring at the little green child. 

By nightfall, the group had gotten back to Mando's ship remembering just how bad the damage was and how long it would take to get the parts up and running. 

" There's no way we're gonna get this to work without a full maintenance facility." Mando groaned looking at his precious ship." This is gonna take days to fix." 

A spotlight came over them and both turned to see Kuiil had set one up ready to get right to work immediately. 

" If you care to help, it might go faster. There is much work to do." He said walking over to the wagon and grabbing each part. 

Alaina knew she wouldn't be much help. She knew nothing of mechanics or ships, but she still fixed her ponytail on her head and got right down to the grease of it all. They first spared every part to where it belonged on the ship. When that was done, they started to work on different sections. While Mando and Kuiil worked on the hard parts, she was left to the wheels, but even they were a challenged. Mando worked on the side when he heard her curse and looked over. She was focused on rotating the tired, so close to getting it done, when the screw came off causing her to groan. 

" Alaina, like this." He said walking over and showing her how to do it. 

She smiled at him as a thanks and tried it herself sighing when the screw had finally gone in the way she wanted to. 

" Thank you for trying to save my life back there." He added wanting to say it a long time ago, but just now having the courage. 

She grinned this time showing her white pearly teeth," Hey, you saved mine first." she said tapping the screwdriver on his armor before getting back to work. 

By sunrise, the entire ship was done with every part that was once on the group now back in the place it was meant to be at. Alaina wiped the sweat from her forehead proudly getting on board to see Mando and Kuiil in the cockpit about to start it up. Mando turned on the left engine hearing it start up with no issues before turning on the right one seeing the same thing. The Razor Crest was ready to go. 

" I can't thank you enough." Mando said walking Kuiil towards the ramp." Please allow me to give you a portion of the reward." 

Kuiil shook his head," I cannot accept. You are my guest and I am therefore in your service." 

She smiled at Kuiil knowing how nice of a man he was and it didn't shock her that he denied any reward. 

" I could use a crew member of your ability, and I can pay handsomely." Mando bargained, but Kuiil still shook his head. 

" I am honored, but I have worked a lifetime to finally be free of servitude." 

Mando nodded," I understand. Then all I can offer is my thanks." 

Kuiil nodded back," And I offer mine. Thank you for bringing peace to my valley. " He said walking down the ramp to his Blurrg." And good luck with The Child. May it survive and bring you a handsome reward." 

Mando nodded his head giving a small wave and heading to the cockpit. Alaina was about to follow when Kuiil's voice caught her attention. 

" Alaina." He called by her name." It has been a pleasure knowing you." 

She smiled at the bittersweet moment," You too, Kuiil." 

" I have spoken." He finalized while Alaina hit the button closing all ramps and made her way to the cockpit. 

The nerves started in her knowing this were her final moments on Arvala-7. There was a world out there for her and this was her journey in getting there. She took a seat to the left behind the Mandalorian strapping herself in. He started the engine once again slowly bringing the Razor Crest off the floor before taking off. She gasped at the feeling seeing them go up the bright blue sky until it faded to black. She didn't care if it was dangerous. She unbuckled her seatbelt and slowly walked next to the Mandalorian looking at the stars, space, and distant planet of Arvala-7 around her. 

" Wow." Alaina gasped never taking her eyes away from it." So this is what's out here." 

The Mandalorian let out a small laugh from next to her nodding her head while the Child woke up from his sleep showing them that he was okay. 

" This is just the beginning." 

__________________________________ 

Kriff: " shit or damn it." 

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

Get to Know Me Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @cutestkilla I loved reading your answers 💜

Relationship status: Married for nine years. Hubs and I got married on our 10 year dating anniversary. We started dating when we were 17. So yeah, we’ve been together a long ass time.

Favorite color: Green, and any shade thereof. My eyes are green, so it’s been my fave since I was a kid.

Favorite food: I love bread, though I try to eat less of it now as I get older, as it doesn’t do my body good. Also coffee, cheese and chocolate make life worth living sometimes.

Song stuck in your head: I’m going to pretend it’s not a theme song from kiddo’s cartoon and say Age of Consent by New Order because I adore that song and it came on while watching Paper Girls the other night. (Just started this show and loved the first two episodes.)

Last thing you Googled: “Exit, pursued by a bear.” Was beta reading for @whatevertheweather last night and she used it for a spell and I sadly did not know the reference. Now I do!

Time: 11:05 am

Dream Trip: I would really like to get over my fear of traveling to a non-English speaking country. I’ve only ever picked English speaking locations for vacations for fear of getting lost or not being able to communicate. The only exception was three days in Paris as part of a school trip where we went to London first, and the embarrassment I felt every time I had to ask someone if they spoke English is probably what’s fueling this fear. I live within driving distance of Mexico and have never been, despite taking Spanish in school for years. So yeah, some day I’d like to go to the Mediterranean and just chill if I need to use my phone for help. Or even Mexico. It’s right there!

Last book you read: I’ve got about an hour left of Reputation by Lex Chroucher and am enjoying it. The audiobook narrator does a fantastic job.

Last book you enjoyed reading: Going to pick a different book here and say Boyfriend Material.(Also loved the audiobook narration!) (Very much looking forward to Husband Material!) @bookish-bogwitch crafted an amazing ending bingo for it and I’m SO ready!

Last book you hated reading: I am slogging through the last Mirror Visitor book. I’ve been reading a few pages at a time for months and it is just so slow and boring. I devoured the first three and I can’t tell if Snowbaz brain rot is affecting my engagement or if it’s truly that bad. I turned my friend on to these books and he’s been anxiously waiting to talk to me about the last one and I just…can’t muster the will to read it for longer than ten minutes at a time. RIP. I also hated the narrator who read House on the Cerrulean Sea, so I abandoned that one even though everyone adores that book. Oh well!

Favorite thing to cook/bake: Cookies, scones, bars, pies. I never bake unless it’s a holiday because I can’t control myself if I make something like this and then have a massive amount there. I used to love cooking soups, stir fries and casseroles but having picky children turn their noses up at something I spent an hour or more making really makes me hate cooking these days. The 7 year old is getting more adventurous but the 3 year old hates dinners on principle so I phone it in a lot.

Favorite craft to do in your spare time: Spare time? What is this you speak of? I am not super crafty. I’ve tried a few things over the years but usually abandon these hobbies after a few attempts. I’m frankly shocked I’m still writing fic almost a year later because hobbies don’t usually stick for me. Does weeding and gardening count as crafting? It’s almost an art right? I do like being out in the sun with my hands in the dirt and seeing the way my yard evolves.

Most niche dislikes: This is a fun question. I doubt my dislikes are very niche. I hate the feeling of like a stray hair on my arm or wrapped around a finger. I dislike cilantro. I have a hard time watching a kid attempt a task that is far above their skill level. Watching them struggle when they are almost about to succeed is a joy but watching say, a kid try to open something you know they literally can’t drives me mad. Just give it to me so I can do it and we can move on!

Opinions on circuses, now and in history: What a weird question. Never been to a circus. Closest was a Cirque du Soleil performance which was amazing. I like books about circuses like Water for Elephants and Night Circus. That’s all I got. I feel like this question is trying to get you to say circuses in the past (maybe also now) are bad because of the way they treat animals. And like, you make that decision yourself. You don’t need me to tell you what to think.

Do you have a sense of direction, if not what is the worst way you’ve gotten lost: If I am with someone else I will often miss a turn from chatting and not paying attention so the other person’s ability to co-pilot is critical. I followed @fatalfangirl around in Vegas and just assumed they knew what was up. (Lol sorry I wasn’t helpful!) If I’m by myself I can usually focus and manage. I often have dreams of needing to get somewhere and just not fucking managing because a thousand obstacle get in the way. Worst gotten lost story: some friends and I in our early 20s miscalculated how long it would take to float down a river. We found ourselves with slowly deflating rafts, while it got dark, with no flashlights, and the river had turned away from the roads. We tried to beach our rafts and walk but found a bear instead. Oops, back in the rafts we went. Then we made it to a dam that we had to get out and walk around but we couldn’t find the path, only a path going the other way to the highway so we ditched our boats and followed the path in the dark, ignoring sounds of wildlife. Finally made it to the road and got picked up by a very nice older couple who probably took pity on us because we looked like their kids or something. When we went back to get our boats the next day the path around the dam was very easy to find by the light of day and we were like…a 20 minute float from our campsite LOL. Good times. I can laugh about it now but it was Not Fun when it was happening.

Tagging @fatalfangirl @whatevertheweather @bookish-bogwitch @moodandmist @aristocratic-otter @facewithoutheart @raenestee @martsonmars @sillyunicorn no pressure, only if you want to! 💜