#traumatized him to begin with. read magneto zero read children of the atom 1999

[altoace]

✨Guess who just read X-Men: Children of the Atom (1999)?✨

Here’s some incorrect quotes for these dumb children that I adore.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

*in the Danger Room*

Bobby: Is anyone else scared?

Scott: Not really. I’ve already lived longer than I expected.

— — — — —

Jean: We call that a traumatic event!

Hank, turning to Scott: Not a “Yikes” moment!

Hank, turning to Warren: Or a “Major L”!

Hank, turning to Bobby: Or an “Ooph lmao”!

— — — — —

Warren: How much sleep did you get?

Scott: Like eight.

Warren: Hours?

Scott: Minutes.

— — — — —

Warren: Scott, I don’t know to tell you this, but you’re in love with me.

Scott: I am?

Scott:

Scott: Oh my god, I am!

Hank: What kind of confession am I witnessing?

— — — — —

Scott: Due to personal reasons, I will be sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Bobby: Warren said “I love you” and you said “Thank you”, didn’t you?

Scott: The reasons are pERSONAL!

— — — — —

Jean: I can’t believe you’re training today, Scott. Why aren’t you in bed?

Scott, with his voice clearly gone: I feel fine.

Bobby: That’s what we’re going to put on his gravestone. “He felt fine”.

— — — — —

Magneto: I will spare you misguided children if you are able to answer these riddles. He who makes me doesn’t want me. He who buys me doesn’t need me. He who uses me doesn’t care. What am I?

Scott: A child!

Magneto: Jesus Christ that’s dark. Are you okay? Do you need a heart-to-heart talk about this?

— — — — —

Warren: Okay, here’s the plan. First, we set off the fire alarms—

Hank: Warren, we can’t set off an alarm if there’s no fire; we’ll get in trouble!

Warren: Okay, fine. First, we’ll start a fire—

— — — — —

Warren: Do you ever get that feeling when you look at someone and your heart skips a beat?

Scott: That’s called arrhythmia.

Warren: I get that feeling every time I see you—

Scott: You can die from that.

Warren: I know you’re smart, but can you please stop for one second?

— — — — —

Scott: What do you even see in me…?

Warren: You should sit down.

Warren: {takes out an endless list}

Scott: Wha—

Warren: Let’s begin from the first time I saw your eyes (read: glasses) glimmering while you sat next to the class’s window—

— — — — —

Hank: So Jean! Our dear friend and teammate!

Bobby: We just wanted to remind you of how much you love us!

Warren: And how boring your life would be without us!

Jean, completely done: What did you do?

— — — — —

Warren: We’re just…

Scott: Working!

Warren: Yes! We were just working…together…independently…

Jean: So. You two work without your clothes on?

— — — — —

Bobby: We could be killed!

Warren: Or worse, the professor could give us another lecture on “responsibility”!

— — — — —

Warren: I have an idea.

Jean: A good one?

Warren: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

— — — — —

Scott: Oh wow, this computer is huge.

Warren: Yeah, almost as big as my dic—

Scott: What?

Warren: —tionary…

— — — — —

Hank: What’s wrong with you?

Scott: Off the top of my head, I’d say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

— — — — —

Bobby: If I cut off my foot and, like, swing it at you, am I kicking you or hitting you?

Hank: You’ll most likely mentally scar me more than anything.

— — — — —

Warren: {flirts with Scott}

Scott: {flirts back}

Warren: Well, I wasn’t prepared for this outcome.

— — — — —

Xavier: What could be giving you anxiety?

Scott: Umm, let’s see. Every aspect of my life.

— — — — —

Jean: You have no idea how to show affection to anyone!

Scott: That is not true! I hugged Warren once!

Jean: That was a chokehold!

Scott: Same thing!

— — — — —

*after Xavier takes him in*

Scott: Mental health? Zero.

Scott: Am I okay? No.

Scott: Will I be okay tomorrow? Probably not.

Scott: Hotel? Trivago.

— — — — —

Warren, talking to Bobby: My sexuality is more complex, you see. It’s a spectrum.

Scott: {smiles at him from across the room}

Warren: Gay, I’m fucking gay.

— — — — —

Hank, telepathically to Jean: He’s in the kitchen again.

Warren: “Beat three eggs” in what? Hand to hand combat??

Jean: Get him out!

— — — — —

Scott: I like you how I like my emotions.

Warren: Explain?

Scott, whispering in his ear: Buried deep inside me.

— — — — —

Scott: Life keeps fucking me, and I can’t remember the safe word.

— — — — —

Bobby: {holds up rock covered in painted pride flags} Wanna throw this through a homophobe’s window?

Scott: I’m down, but heads up I might fall asleep halfway through. I’m barely awake right now.

— — — — —

Scott: There’s a tiger painted here. It’s got a fierce look on its face, as if to say, “Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here.”

Scott: Don’t worry, Mr. Tiger. Hope and I haven’t been on speaking terms for a while now.

— — — — —

Scott: Have you ever been handcuffed before?

Warren: Wait, sexually? Or by law enforcement?

— — — — —

Scott: I get really nervous when Warren compliments me. Sometimes, I really don’t know what to say.

*later*

Warren: You look beautiful today.

Scott, panicking: Happy Birthday—

— — — — —

Hank: Please, that is utter terminological inexactitude.

The rest of the o5:

Hank: {sighs} That’s bullshit, fuckers.

— — — — —

Jean: How many times do I need to tell you guys this? Pick up any trash you find and don’t leave it lying around! It’s not that hard!

Warren: There’s no need to talk about Bobby like that; he’s right here.

Bobby:

Jean and Hank: Warren, no—

Scott: Geez, Jean, you could’ve just asked me to leave and I would’ve.

Jean and Hank: SCOTT, NO—

— — — — —

Warren: You’re pretty cute when you’re nice.

Scott: What am I when I’m not nice?

Warren: Hot as fuck.

— — — — —

Warren: Hey, remember that time I accidentally walked around telling everyone I got a hentai tattoo instead of a henna tattoo?

Bobby: You mean the best day of my life?

Bobby: I recall.

[eggbagelz]

Cant believe i have to say this but yall know that magneto's allowed to be a terrible person right