#traumagenicdidsystem

[sillieraccoon]

reasons we couldn't be "making up" these traumatic memories (a system validation post /lh) TW: sa generally, no details - A, read this when you feel in denial

why would be so specific with remembering clothing types (sometimes on both parties), specific colour shades that were present (the black out curtains were a pale orange. during the sunrise, the sun would shine through and turn the room a beautiful golden colour. for example.

so many people have the experience of having flashbacks in the third person, we are not alone there.

we have physical reactions to these flashbacks (unwanted arousal triggers, temporary genital numbness/pins and needles etc)

now that we've discussed it in therapy and the host is more or less aware its likely to be true, other alters are more able to front because we NEEDED the host to forget about us (yk, influence them to find a new special interest lol, they'd be hyperfocused for weeks) meaning we experience more amnesia now and switch more frequently! this is a common experience in traumgenic systems.

it explains my hypersexuality when i was 9

it explains why i never felt present, and don't remember watching any disney movies at all yet my mum says i watched all the classics as a kid. i literally dont know any of the films and ive never really cared to know. /nm any that i do watch are as if its the first time :)

bpd symptoms lol - especially the bpd rage (itsrainingbpd on ig has a post on it) fear of abandonment, once had a FP attachment to the abuser, the s/h addiction, unstable relationships

explains why A involuntarily age regresses and explains why we have so many littles

explains why we have so many alters based on A but for almost every single year since they were young

when we rapid switched infront of our therapist for the first time, every alter had a side to the story to tell. every alter had the same understanding about the trauma that came up.

[sillieraccoon]

TW - are SA pseudomemories supposed to feel like your truth?

bc after admitting outloud to our therapist about these memories and nightmares we'd been having, it all made sense and felt like my story, and it felt so real. (it actually explained massively why im a system - bc ive struggled to believe my headmates are real)

i'm calling them pseudomemories bc i really have no proof it happened other than the flashbacks nightmares and pseudomemories .

i've asked my mum about them once a when the pseudomemories began a year ago, but she said it wouldn't have happened. my brother barely remembers our childhood so i couldn't ask him. i cut off my father, i may confront him about it face to face eventually... once i work through lots and heal a bit with my therapist

...we wished there was some solid way to know.